


Save the Kittens!

by Kareen2006



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst and Humor, M/M, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-07 22:13:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 100
Words: 632,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kareen2006/pseuds/Kareen2006
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I'm the only one! - There's something strange happening to Roxas and his straight edged mind can't quite figure it out. Things were going fine until he started his third year of college.<br/>*Repost from FanFiction.net*<br/>Tumblr Info Page: http://savethekittensinfo.tumblr.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Stop," a deep echoing voice ordered. The sound trailed around the room as a tall, gangly figure wiggled around on the examination table, emitting a string of high pitched, frantic giggles. Large hands tried to pin the pale naked body to table but the other was abnormally strong and pushed him away playfully, continuing the joyful noise. "Stop moving!" the voice ordered again and the other panted as its breath tried to catch up.

"I can't! Your hands are freezing!" the body said between laughs and the booming voice sighed, stepping away. The thin form sat up and looked down at itself. Long, lean legs attached to working feet and wiggling toes, check. Hips, spine and a relatively well toned abdomen, check. Long arms with wide palms and thin fingers, check. He…was a he, he noticed. He was okay with that, at least he didn't have two genders like some others, but that was neither here nor there. The only problem he had was that his hair was white. All of it was. Not even white, but a glittering platinum. "Can I have a mirror?" he asked the other voice.

The man attached to the voice was obviously aged, yet his long hair retained its own pale blonde color. His bright copper eyes rolled in their sockets as he sighed with exasperation and began the search for the other form's request. This was Ansem, the naked figure registered. He had heard about him often enough but this was the first time he had seen the man with his own eyes. A few drawers of a metal desk slammed closed as Ansem dug around their contents. He seemed energetic enough; the years must have been good to him. After a few minutes of searching, the man found a mirror and went back to the table, handing it over to the figure.

"Ooo, I turned out pretty good, didn't I?" the figure asked as he examined his face. He ran a finger down the bridge of his strong nose and over his sharp jaw. He grinned at himself and found that he had all of his teeth behind his lips. His canines through, might be a little scary, they were a little too long, a little too pointy, but he chocked it up to his Totem. His eyes were colorless, just like his hair. "You didn't want to pick out a color?" he asked Ansem curiously.

"You can when we get to that point. But if you keep moving around we won't make any progress. I still need to check you," he answered calmly, pulling on a new pair of examining gloves, and the naked figure handed the mirror to him, laying back. He snorted back his laugh when Ansem's hands touched him again, and tried not to wiggle around away from their icy touch.

The older man poked and prodded at his skin, pressing into his gut to make sure all of his organs were there and could feel them working away like they were supposed to. The figure's initial examination of his reflexes showed that they were fine, and his eyes dilated properly. He had all the proper holes formed for various bodily functions and his genitals were mature enough as well with the proper amount of hair in all the right places. Ansem snapped his fingers next to the figure's sensitive ears and the corner his eyes twitched with the sound, trying not to flinch away.

"Stand up," the man ordered and the figure did as he was told; standing on wobbly legs and feeling the hard flooring under the pads of his virgin feet. He could feel every piece of grit under his skin, which was saying a lot because the room was kept incredibly clean and sterile. He wiggled his toes again and the flexed his hands. He would have to get used to thumbs. Ansem moved around him with a contemplating face, feeling his chest and back, making sure all the muscles were developed alright. He pushed around the figure's thighs and calves, deeming them worthy as well. "Arms out," he said and the figure held them out, making a line with his shoulders. Ansem kneaded around the limbs and the armpits carefully, taking mental notes. He took the hands and ran the joints under his thumbs, feeling their form. After he was finished he patted the figure's shoulder and gave him a curt smile.

"All done?" the figure asked and Ansem nodded.

"Your training will begin in the morning, you need to pick a Charge from the Catalogue and I'll help you get set up with your hair and eye color if that suits you. When we're ready to do that, we'll do your dental, but until then, don't eat anything too hard."

"Yes'sir!" the figure said enthusiastically and grinned at him.

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The worst part about living in Radiant Garden was that it was in fact, a radiant garden. Not that Roxas had a problem with plants, quite the contrary, he just hated the insects. He couldn't escape the flies. There was always at least one buzzing around his house looking to land on him when he least expected and he would hit himself in the face trying to get it away. The city itself though, was quite beautiful. Cliffside houses perched next to parks and groves of trees, rivers flowing freely and out the city walls turning into waterfalls, as well as anything one would need found in the city center behind a large crystalline rock formation. The schools, libraries, civil services, shopping, everything was tucked in the middle, while the people lived outside and looked in. The most important thing to Roxas though, was the school or rather, the college.

The only places in the city center that housed people were the hotels, and the college. The commuters to the school were few and far between outside of the staff and the college had built itself an enormous set of dormitories to keep it that way. The short blonde had already been attending classes there for two years but this year, his brother Sora was starting with him and as luck would have it, they were roommates, just as they were at home. Roxas groaned as he batted another fly away, apparently nowhere in the city was immune to their annoying charms.

"Maybe we should put up a fly strip," Sora said as he opened another box of his things. Roxas shook his head and plugged in a lamp.

"Not like it'd do any good, there's just so many."

"Not really, no one else ever seems to be bothered by them, just us. Maybe we smell like feet or something."

"I think after so many years, someone would've said something if that were the case," the blonde said and laughed.

"Yeah maybe," the brunette grinned. There was a frantic banging on their door and Roxas leaned over and turned the knob, letting it fall open by itself. It was pushed open by a girl who was more Sora's friend than she was Roxas'. Wine colored hair blew through the door as Kairi rushed in and tackled into Sora, the brunette grunted against her sudden weight.

"SoraSoraSoraSora!" she chattered excitedly with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Whatwhatwhatwhat?" Sora yelled back as he tried to calm her.

"Our English Lit professor died!" she said and the boy's mouth dropped open.

"Classes haven't even started! What happened?" he asked. Roxas watched the scene with raised brows in surprise.

"He hit a deer on the highway leaving the city, apparently," she said and held up a piece of paper. Sora took it from her and his eyes widened. It was an e-mail from the school dated earlier in the week telling what happened.

"Holy crap," he said and looked to Roxas. "What's going to happen now?"

"Hell if I know, they'll probably find a replacement for him though. Which is sort of an okay thing. I mean, it sucks the guy died but at the same time at least you don't have to get used to a whole new professor halfway through the semester," the blonde offered. Sora nodded, Kairi huffed.

"Damn, I heard he was nice, too. I hope we don't get a shitty sub," she said and crossed her arms. She startled as a fly landed just above her brow and she shooed it away. "Ah well, did you guys need a hand? Namine and I are just about finished with our room."

"That'd be awesome, I'm so slow," Sora said and shoved his hands back in his box.

"I have all my stuff done, I'm going to go skulk around and see what I can see," Roxas said and patted his pockets, making sure he had his keys before leaving. He and Sora's parents had left about an hour earlier with tears in their eyes; sputtering words of endearment and sappy things he had heard before when he had first started school. That was the way things were in Radiant Garden though. People were born there, grew up there, went to school there, and became successful there before heading out of the city to the rest of the world. Some families, like his own stayed there simply because, well, why leave? The air was clean and fresh, the water unpolluted, and the people were always kind enough to one another making crime a non-issue. Everyone had proud doting parents and were given the best of what their families could afford. Roxas pushed the metal doors open and stepped out into the courtyard in the middle of the campus.

He knew most of the people that went to the college by this point, except for the freshmen that is, and he saw some familiar faces trotting around and socializing with one another. He had his own little group of friends and it was until this year that he bunked with his long time pal, Hayner. He assumed Hayner would be rooming with Pence now that he was at odds, and headed for the East dorm where the chubby photographer tended to stay. The dormitories were separated with the girls in the North and South and the guys in the East and West. The academic building, or rather, cluster of buildings was on the far end of the campus and there was a library and a few other facilities near it as well.

Roxas was a Genetics major as strange as it sounded, and this would be his first year taking classes that actually pertained to his area of interest. He loved facts. Learning the cold hard details about organic compounds and the way the world's organisms were formed is what he loved to deal with. He found security knowing the weird little details that other people didn't, and reveled when he could confuse people with whatever he was talking about. But mostly, he hoped to do his own research at some point. He wanted to conquer the human genome and help solve the riddles surrounding all the genetic diseases and problems that faced modern society. At lofty as it was, it was still a goal, and he hoped to achieve it some day. He had prepared himself to be in school until his thirties, getting his doctorate in the field and gaining as much knowledge as he could before moving forward on his own.

He was excited to start his classes. He had heard that they got a new Genetics teacher over the summer who was apparently extremely versed in the field. He hoped to shake the person's hand and absorb the entirety of their mind through osmosis, so he could skip the process of the next ten years and get right to the good stuff. Alas, that was an impossible dream, but he wished it all the same. He started to daydream about the prospects of his future success as his feet continued forward on auto-pilot. The concrete path through the courtyard was relatively empty and he weaved around the few bodies that were there in a daze, until he collided into a hard chest. The person he ran into was a man, and he barked out a yelp in surprise, dropping an armload of books and papers. Roxas gasped and his attention snapped to the person in front of him.

"I'm so sorry!" he apologized quickly and bent to help the man pick up his things.

"No no, don't apologize, I wasn't paying much attention either," came a calm and gentle voice. A pale hand reached out and started picking up the tomes as well and Roxas' eyes traveled up the arm to the man's face. He froze at his appearance. The best way he could think to describe the features was…otherworldly. Gossamer silver hair that feathered away from delicate almost feminine features fell to his shoulders. His face was a little bit Asian and was obviously diluted to some degree but his eyes were the most prominent thing about him. They were a bright teal, almond shaped and framed in long dark eyelashes. Roxas had never seen anyone with such strange features before, but remembered his manners and forced his eyes away from his face to focus on the books. Once everything was safely tucked in the man's arms again they stood and he held out his hand to the blonde. Roxas shook it and gave him a nervous smile.

"Sorry again," he apologized and the man smiled back at him before shaking his head. Roxas caught a glimpse of a piece of hair behind the man's ear that was wrapped in a tube of light blue thread and a silver charm hanging from the bottom of the tail made a soft 'clink' with the movement.

"No problem," he said. "You wouldn't happen to know where the Administration Building is would you?"

"Uh… yeah it's behind the North dorm," the blonde said and pointed in its general direction. The man's face followed his point and nodded again.

"Thank you. Are you taking English Literature this semester? Will I see you in class?" he asked. The blonde raised a brow at him.

"No. I already took it my freshman year. Can I ask why?"

"I'm Professor Leigh's replacement," he said simply. It took a moment for Roxas to realize what he was talking about. Professor Leigh was the man who had died.

"Oh, well my brother is taking that class this semester, so if you see Sora, you can give him extra homework," Roxas added and grinned. The professor laughed; a light and airy sound.

"I'll do that," he said. "I'll see you around, thank you again." The man left with a light wave and a smile, heading in the direction he was pointed towards. Roxas watched him leave with his brows pushed together lightly in thought. Everything he could take in about the man was… strange. He was human, that much was sure, and Roxas didn't believe in the occult, but it seemed like he had something a little extra. Even now, watching him walk away, it was weird. He seemed a little extra…graceful? Ethereal? Roxas couldn't put his finger on it exactly, but he decided he would figure out more data when Sora started his class. The brunette was sure to notice too. Roxas pushed the ideas into the back of his mind and continued on towards Hayner and Pence's dorm.

He wandered the halls of the dorm until he could find someone who knew Hayner and ask where he was. He cursed their terrible communication skills under his breath, as he never asked what the other blonde's room number was. As luck would have it, it was on the top floor and Roxas grumbled as he made his way up three flights of steps. He meandered through the halls, listening for familiar voices.

"—lighting. Sorry, but you can move if you hate it so much," Pence said and Roxas knocked on their door, interrupting their conversation further. He stepped inside and found most of the room still halfway to being packed up. Hardly anything was in its place and the furniture was in weird angles as they had been moving it all around.

"Hey Rox," the two friends greeted in tandem.

"Having problems?" he asked and gave them a lopsided smile.

"Pence is just being difficult, I had said specifically I wanted a room on the bottom floor, but nooo…" Hayner said mockingly.

"And Hayner is being too uptight about stairs. I made it clear I needed the lighting in this room for my projects," Pence said and gave Roxas a weak shrug.

"Hayner stop being a dick," the blonde said and the other blonde, the taller one, gave him a scowl.

"Easy for you to say, you got the room you wanted. Apparently I'm just dust in the wind," he added.

"Get over it; you knew Sora was going to room with me when I told you he was going to go to school here. It's done."

"Feh…" the taller blonde said and dismissed him with a wave. "Go on, run back to your comfy bottom floor room, while I'll waste away here, trying to get up the damn steps every day."

"You're making it sound like you're morbidly obese or something," Pence added and started to shove his desk into place.

"Well I was going to offer to help you guys get settled but if you're going to be an ass about it…" Roxas said to Hayner. Pence turned to him.

"Can you help me loft my bed?" The blonde nodded and crouched on the floor, looking for the latch that released the bed frame from its posts so they could lift it up and put it in the highest notch. Hayner grumbled and went about shoving a dresser around until it was where he wanted it. Their room, in addition to every other dorm on campus, was relatively small. Some had two separate closets of miniscule size, and some had one giant closet where the inhabitants would have to share either side. The best part about the dormitory setup though, was that in between every other dorm was a Jack and Jill bathroom setup. Meaning, there were no communal showers there, and only four people to a shower and toilet with access to two sinks. It was a blessing.

Once everything was in its place and the boxes were collapsed and tucked away, Roxas bid his farewells and made his way back towards his own room. He hadn't realized it had gotten so late. The lamps in the courtyard had turned on and it was nearly pitch black out otherwise. He inhaled the night air and smiled. It was peaceful, just how he liked it. He swatted a fly away as he walked along and passed by the few people that were milling about uttering a hello and the occasional wave in their direction. Classes started in the morning and he was excited to get to sleep and start the semester off right, so he hurried back quickly. Sora smiled at him when he entered their room.

"Namine says 'hi,'" the brunette said. Roxas nodded. Namine was a quiet girl, one that didn't really garner much attention from anyone. She usually spent her days drawing by herself and didn't seem to have many friends. She was a year older than Sora and that also made her a year younger than Roxas. She was one of the few additional friends the blonde had made after high school. Olette was another but he knew her some before he graduated which made it easier. Namine on the other hand, had pretty much appeared out of nowhere to him and met him his sophomore year in college, claiming they had an art class together in high school. Roxas took her word for it.

"When did she drop by?" he asked his brother.

"Oh like… five-ish or something? I don't remember exactly."

"Okay. Hey, I met your English Lit professor. The new one."

"Yeah?" Sora turned in his desk chair, away from his laptop to face the blonde. "What was he like?"

"He was… young. Very young and weird looking, you have to see it. He was nice though."

"Weird looking? Oh god does he have some weird mole I'm going to stare at all semester?" the brunette asked with a horrified face, Roxas laughed.

"No, but he isn't from around here, that's for sure."

"Oh… interesting. How do you figure?"

"I can't really describe it, I'm not good with words like that, you know," Roxas said and moved across the room to plop in his desk chair. He opened his laptop and turned it on. "You'll see him tomorrow though and you'll get the idea. Tell me more about him when you get back though, I'm really curious."

"M'kay."

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Roxas' Genetics professor was late to the lecture hall. The blonde scanned the scant number of people in his class. They all looked as bored as he was while they waited. The teacher was almost twenty minutes late to their three hour class, and Roxas hoped that it was because it was a new environment for the professor and not because he was irresponsible. The great minds of the world shouldn't be late to teach the awaiting masses, he felt. Maybe the professor was a doddering old person, rich with lifetime's worth of knowledge to share with him. He could only hope. Someone across the room groaned and complained about the wait and Roxas couldn't help but agree. The door flew open as a leg kicked it inward and there was a mirthful voice apologizing to them. Everyone startled and focused at the door.

"Sorry sorry everyone! I missed my bus!" the voice called and in walked the professor hefting a large book bag, someone who Roxas felt shouldn't be teaching just based on his appearance.

He was tall, thin, and much too young. Roxas furrowed his brows into a glare at his choice of clothing, pieces of which he had never seen before but they were all completely unprofessional. The blonde himself dressed casually, usually with jeans and a nice shirt, but he was the student, not the professor. This man however, decided that it would be fine to parade around in brightly colored obnoxious accessories and weave beads and charms into his unruly crimson hair. He wore a silkscreened bright green t-shirt that clung to his frame and left no room for interpretation in terms of how built he was. In addition to the plethora of colorful bands and bracelets on his arms, he also wore several gaudy rings, at least a dozen earrings and a pair of thin framed glasses on his nose. The glasses themselves had to have been merely for show because there was no way that anyone could use blue lenses the size of quarters to see efficiently. At least he wore a normal looking black belt to hold up his strange black pants. The fabric of the lower garment hugged his thighs all the way down until about his knees, where there was excess fabric billowing out. The extra, was belted to his calves in regular increments by other brightly colored bands all the way down to his feet, where black and green tennis shoes with pink stars resided. Roxas didn't even catch his face, he was so distracted by the clothing and the man was quick to walk to the front of the room and start writing on the whiteboard.

His arm moved quickly and efficiently as he wrote his name on the board, his bracelets jingling with the movements. His lettering was neat and precise, almost like he was typing rather than writing freehand. He flicked his hand through his wild hair, pulling a few strands from underneath his collar. The hair itself was the brightest shade of red Roxas could imagine. It fell back in random choppy pieces to his shoulder blades and the blonde felt the only reason they didn't stick up all over the place like a porcupine was the fact that there was an entire arts and craft shop woven through the strands. Colorful glass beads, charms and the occasional tiny bell made light plinking sounds as he moved. Finally, he turned with a wide smile for the class, eyes squeezed shut happily. He kept the hair behind his ears and Roxas could see a brightly woven tail of hair, much like the English Lit professor's behind his ear with another charm dangling from it. The blonde was confused.

"Hello everyone, my name is Axel Borgerson, and I will be your source of knowledge for the next sixteen weeks," he said calmly but with a joyful inflection. He eased his eyes open and the blonde squinted at the startling color of his eyes. They had to be contacts; they were too bright, too green, too…unnatural. Almost a chartreuse. Did he pluck his eyebrows? The blonde was blown away at the entire package, he raised his hand and Mr. Borgerson raised his brows at him. "Yeeees?" he asked with a persisting smile.

"I'm sorry, this may sound rude, but are you serious?" the blonde asked in annoyance. He couldn't believe this is what he was getting. The man was a veritable freak, for sure. He had tattoos under his eyes! What normal person does that? He couldn't even have been old enough to teach this class let alone pass judgment on their grades. He glanced around the room and everyone seemed entranced by him even though he had only been in the room for three minutes. Roxas couldn't believe it. He would have to complain to the Administration if this man proved to be as useless as he looked.

"Oh I'm quite serious," Mr. Borgerson responded nicely. "Why do you ask?"

"You don't look like you're old enough to be here," the blonde blurted grumpily.

"Well… I am. I'm twenty eight. Ten years of schooling is what tells me I'm allowed to be here. If that's an issue for you, then feel free to drop my class, though if you did that, you wouldn't be able to stay here since there isn't another one for you to take so it's your choice. I promise I'm not as crazy as I look but I can't force you to change your opinion. Any other questions?" he asked and scanned the room. Hands flew up and he called on a brunette girl.

"Where did you get your pants?" she asked and her group of friends giggled at her.

"The store," he answered and smiled. They all laughed, except for Roxas. He was upset but what the man had said was right, he couldn't really drop his class without switching schools. Mr. Borgerson moved onto the next question.

"Is that really your natural hair color?" someone else asked.

"Nope, next?"

"Where did you graduate from?"

"Here, actually. Next? No more?" he asked as all the hands stayed on the desks. "Perfect, the first order of business is the syllabus, yeah?" he asked, mostly to himself and opened his bag, pulling out a fat folder and rustling through the papers inside. He handed off a small stack to the person in front who proceeded to pass them around. Roxas was the last to receive one and he held out the extras for Mr. Borgerson to collect. The man jogged to the back of the room where he was sitting and took the papers from him with a grin. The blonde was startled by his teeth but hoped he didn't appear to be. The man's canines were a little too long, almost like he had watched too many vampire movies and his mouth grew to accommodate his fandom. It was…unsettling. Roxas watched him skitter back to the front of the class before looking at the syllabus. It was generic enough, with the class number and basic information as well as the man's name.

"The biggest issue I have," the professor started when he reached the front again, "is that I don't have an office here. So that means, if any of you need help with the material you'll have to find me at my home. That is, if no one else can help you. Regardless, I already have approval from the Administration to tutor you all in my residence if you so choose. I'm actually only here part time and am a student myself still, working on my doctorate so we all can be study buddies if you want," he said with a smile. "You can drop by any time during the week but call me if you want extra on the weekends. I may even cook for you if you catch me at the right time," he continued. "All my contact information is on the next page for you all so feel free to ask me anything. Other than that, everything else is pretty boring. I included a calendar with all the approximate test dates and things on there for you, what I expect of you, policies, and how I grade. Any questions? And yes, I'm serious," he added casting an unnatural eye to Roxas. The blonde scowled in response.

"Well! I think we'll take it easy today but I want to know a bit about everyone since it's such a small class," he continued. The class had a dozen people in it and Roxas liked it that way. Mr. Borgerson stuffed his hand in his bag again and pulled out a pile of note cards. He handed the stack to the person in front and the same process of handing them back went about. "On these cards, I want you to write your names, what you're interested in, why you want to study Genetics, and some contact information. I only want phone numbers simply because I get concerned if people miss my class because it really throws you behind if you miss one. I mean, it's a three hour lecture, people, and one day a week, we're going to cover a lot very quickly so you need to be here. It's not optional. Take two cards and make a name tag with one for me, I'm terrible with names." Everyone did as they were told and soon names started to appear for the faces Roxas didn't recognize. Mr. Borgerson flipped through his folder of papers again and walked up and down the aisle, doing roll call according to the placards.

"Can we come to your house, just because?" another girl asked. The professor hesitated, looking thoughtful.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well…okay I'm just going to say it, you don't look normal and I'm really curious to see how you live," she admitted and blushed. The professor laughed; a confident and velvety sound. Roxas agreed with the girl, he was more than a little curious himself but wasn't so bold as to ask so blatantly.

"Well, I live in a triplex outside the city center. I have my own floor and live with two other professors from here, believe it or not. They're both very good friends of mine and we argue about who gets to use the laundry first, just like everyone else," he said and there were a few polite chuckles at the bad joke. "But I suppose I can let you all have a day to see my home if it'll get you to feel comfortable around me. I don't want to intimidate you all and cause you to not ask for help when you really need it seeing as how the tutoring will have to be set up. Just call and give me at least an hour to clean things up before you come." There were some nods. Roxas simply folded his arms over his chest.

"Why can't you just meet us in the library?" the blonde asked.

"Like I said, I'm a student myself, and all of my resources are in my home, the most important of which is my computer. I don't have a laptop to take with me to the library otherwise, I would. I don't even have a car to drive back and forth with."

So get one, Roxas thought angrily to himself. He wasn't thrilled with the way things were working out with this class. He had such high expectations of what it was going to be like and here it was nothing like what he wanted. His professor, his fountain of knowledge, his rock and pillar to stand on was supposed to be older, normal, and have a full time job. This man was none of those things. He was only eight years older than the blonde for crying out loud! How was he expecting everyone to take him seriously?

"So! Now that that's cleared up, I want you all to call me Axel. It makes me feel really old when anyone calls me 'Mr.'"

"What nationality are you?" a younger guy down in front asked.

"I'm Swedish. There are some other Scandinavian countries tossed in there but I'm mostly Swedish. That's where my genetic donors are from anyway," he added and everyone chuckled with the way he referenced his parents. Roxas smirked. He could attribute the man's height to his genetics then. He wondered what his natural hair color was if he was really Scandinavian but decided it wasn't necessary information.

"Is that Winnie the Pooh on your bracelet?" a girl asked, leaning forward in her seat and squinting at him. Axel looked at his wrist and nodded with a smile.

"Yep. Personally, my favorite is Tigger, but Pooh is just as nice," he said and pushed his frames up his nose with a finger. "Tigger and I are pals; we have a lot in common. He likes tigers, I like tigers. He's the only one, I'm the only me. He has a lot of energy, and I drink a lot of coffee," he smiled. The girl who asked giggled. "Did everyone finish their cards?" he asked and a lot of people looked surprised, having been distracted by the impromptu Q&A. They started scribbling down the information quickly. "Finish them, and hand them back please, but I'll need the name cards for at least a couple weeks so hang onto those." Roxas jotted the information down. The man wasn't asking for much, simply a phone number, a name, and some meaningless personal opinions, so he felt safe enough to hand it over when he was finished. Axel didn't give him the impression that he was out to steal their identities.

The class progressed at a slow pace, everyone making light get-to-know you conversation with the man and a lot of people dumped some brief histories of who they were on him in response. Axel was full of smiles and listened intently to everyone, absorbing the information. Roxas sat back and glowered at him. He would've preferred if they had gotten on with the lectures and the proper knowledge but he couldn't do much to change it. Finally, he was the last one to say anything about himself and the professor smiled at him expectantly.

"Did you have anything to share…" he trailed as he squinted at the blonde's name card for a moment, "Roxas?"

"Not really," the blonde said. Everyone turned to him and he suddenly felt like he had committed a mortal sin.

"That's perfectly fine, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

"I'm just saving you all from a boring generic story, is all," Roxas added and waved a hand dismissively.

"Fantastic. If that's all, I'll see everyone next week. Start reading chapter one and take some notes because that's where we're starting. It's best to start from the beginning, yes?" Axel said and smiled brightly. Everyone murmured their goodbyes and Roxas hefted his messenger bag full of supplies over his shoulder. He was the last to leave. "Roxas?" the professor stopped him as he made his way to the door. The blonde went to his desk, trying to look polite and not annoyed that he couldn't get away quick enough.

"Yeah?"

"No hard feelings?" he asked and extended his hand to the blonde. Roxas looked at it and took in all the colorful bands and metal rings adorned on it and his arm. He took it and gave him a firm handshake, the professor reciprocating with a tight squeeze.

"Yeah," the blonde added and Axel smiled.

"Good. I'm glad. See you next week."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Ansem did a lot, he decided. The only thing Ansem hadn't done for him so far was give him a name, and pick out a hair and eye color for him. He had clothes now though, stifling boring looking beige shorts and a t-shirt. Nothing else, because he didn't need it. He settled back in the dental chair while Ansem tinkered around on a tray with various pointy looking implements.

"Your teeth are incredibly important. You need to take care of them, all of them, not just your Link, understand?" Ansem asked. He nodded.

"Yes'sir."

"Good. You're the only one of your kind and therefore you need to keep everything in top condition until you can find your Charge. If you let your teeth go to waste, you can't eat and thus…"

"I die?"

"You die."

"That'd be a lot of money wasted."

"That's a life wasted. Never mind the money. You have a very specific role," Ansem took up a pointed stick and pried open his mouth to poke around. He opened obediently and felt the metal pick get caught in the grooves behind his elongated canines.

"Thoo thave te kithenths?" he asked with a finger in his mouth, drooling a bit. Ansem smiled.

"Yes. To save the kittens. It's a little more complex than that but that's the main purpose, yes. Who told you that?"

"Fwenth."

"So you made a friend already. That's wonderful. Wider," Ansem ordered and his jaw popped as he did as he was told. Ansem prodded deeper and he could hear the high pitched whir of his Link being opened. Ansem leaned back and picked up a set of spectacles from the tray behind him and placed them over his eyes. The man lowered a little arm that held a magnifying lens in front of one eye and stood to peer deeper in his mouth. There were a few clicks and another whir as the man fiddled with the device lodged in his back molar. The Link was painless but if anyone who didn't know what they were doing messed with it, it could quickly turn otherwise. Once Ansem was finished with whatever he was doing, he closed everything up and sat back in his stool. He removed the spectacles from his face.

"All done?" he asked; a repeat from the day before.

"All done. So who is your friend?"

"Demyx."

"Demyx is very likable. You two should have a lot in common."

"He's faster than I am," he huffed and furrowed his brows.

"But you're bigger. The biggest. You should have the utmost confidence in your power and size, don't let something like speed get you upset. After all, his speed is only good enough for a short distance before he has to rest."

"I guess. I still don't like it."

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"I'm so confused!" Sora said and let his forehead fall forward until it rested on his desk. He turned his face to look at his brother who was calmly going through his Genetics textbook. "I mean…he's so weird! And so pretty! Like a girl but he's not a girl. It's freaking the shit out of me."

"So you saw what I meant then? I couldn't really describe him."

"Yeah, I get it. He seems nice enough, but I'm so freaked out by him I don't know how to ask him anything without wanting to choke."

"I only had a brief conversation with him and I was confused, I can't imagine seeing him in class twice a week."

"I know! I'm totally going to fail. I'm not going to be able to hand in my papers because I might get too close to him."

"That's stupid, Sora. He's not going to kill you."

"But what if he sneezes and get's his pretty on me? And like… it burns?"

"Okay stop, that's even more stupid," Roxas chided and looked up at his brother through pieces of his hair. "Aside from the fact that he's pretty, what else did you get out of him?"

"Uhm… his name is Riku Shimizu and he apparently graduated from this school, and he's twenty-nine. He doesn't have much family and he lives in a triplex with two other teachers."

"Wait…a triplex? Did he tell you to go there if you needed tutoring?"

"He said the option was available but he would meet us in the library if he had the time. He's apparently working on another degree and doesn't get out much."

"A doctorate?"

"No, another masters."

"Oh…"

"Why? You sound like you know something."

"My Genetics professor said a lot of the same things but he's younger and working on a doctorate. He mentioned the triplex and the other two teachers, maybe Mr. Shimizu is one of the friends he said he lived with."

"It would make sense. The stories fit well enough for it to be more than a coincidence you know? But who cares? That just means if we both need help we can save on gas and drive together."

"Yeah. I honestly don't like my Genetics professor very much. He's… odd. Extremely happy and smiling constantly and he dresses weird. He's got this obnoxious hair and tattoos even."

"Sounds like a great character. Maybe we should switch teachers, Mr. Shimizu seems more science-y to me than yours does. What's his name?"

"Mr. Borgerson, but he wants us to call him by his first name, Axel."

"Huh. Weird name."

"Scandinavian apparently. I'm almost tempted just to go over to this triplex and see what's up with him, really. I can't imagine he's going to be a very good teacher with the way he's so… unprofessional."

"Well you can have my English Lit class and I'll pretend I know what I'm doing when I go to your Genetics class."

"That's alright, I hated English Lit."

"Oh…damn," Sora sighed and rubbed his face, sitting back. "Now that you mention it, I almost want to see how Mr. Shimizu lives too. He's scary, but I bet his place is nice."

"I'm trying to avoid it as much as possible," Roxas sighed as he skimmed the page in front of him, waving another fly away. "It's proving to be a little harder than I thought though, and I'm only on the first chapter."

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Roxas sat in the front of his next Genetics class, hoping that Axel would prove himself useful and that he would be able to absorb as much as he could before he would have to use his book as a mental crutch. Roxas didn't like idea of possibly relying solely on his book in order to complete the class. He also didn't like the idea of having going to the Administration and tell them what an awful choice they made in hiring the freakish man to begin with. He stuck his hand in his messenger bag and pulled out a bottle of water, listening to the idle chatter of his classmates. There were less present for the class this week. Apparently the ones that were missing didn't care enough or were just as disturbed as Roxas was by Axel. The ones that were there, though, had already gone to the professor's residence and were gossiping amongst themselves about the experience.

"It's so plain, it's creepy. I was expecting a fun house, you know? But it's just like any other house around, just smaller. The outside is cute though," a chipper girl jabbered on to her small group of friends.

"I know! I loved the primroses, they were so pretty. It's a shame his housemates weren't home though, I wanted to see which teachers he was living with," another girl responded.

"Did you see that one door though? Like you know how the kitchen goes off into a little hallway and one way goes to the office, and then the bathroom is in front? What's behind the other door down the other way?"

"He said it was his bedroom, but it was locked. I tried to check," the second girl responded with an embarrassed giggle.

"Oh. Well that's boring."

"I know right?" The rest of their conversation was disturbed by the professor himself. Axel wandered lazily into the room waving at everyone with a smile, the same book bag slung over his shoulder. He was wearing red and blue tie-dyed pants today, with baggy white shirt that stopped below his pocket line and an oversized blue and white vest that fell past the t-shirt to the middle of his thighs. His earrings were the same, as were most of the bands and bracelets on his arms though the blonde noticed that some of the smaller ones had been replaced with enormous colorful bangles. He had replaced the blue lenses of his glasses for a clear pair, but they were still just as small and just as impractical. His hair still jingled and clinked together as he moved.

"Greetings fellow free thinkers!" he chirped gleefully as he set his bag on the desk with a heavy 'thud.' "How was your week?" Everyone muttered a half-assed generic 'good' and he smiled. Roxas noticed that for all the smiling the man did, he never really grinned except for that one time the last class. He never showed his teeth, and even when he did, it was just a brief half second that made the blonde do an inward double take at the size of his canines. It was an interesting observation to say the least.

"How do you figure that this is a free thinking class?" Roxas asked, not bothering to hide his annoyance. "It's not exactly a philosophical subject."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong my friend. While it's true that Genetics is a scientific and factual based subject, it is also a realm that has so little discovery it's almost like it could be considered a philosophy. It's a new ideal, a new—well newer study and there's still so much left open for interpretation so why not treat it as such? It makes things much more fun, if I do say so myself."

"Great," the blonde said, rolling his eyes. He didn't need this class to be fun and philosophical; he needed it to expand his knowledge base. He sighed, resolving himself pass the class by reading his book. Axel wasn't going to be much help for him.

"For instance, designer children. Have you heard of this?"

"I read an article a few years ago talking about such an idea, but its complete bull in my opinion. We haven't even been able to successfully clone a person let alone rip apart DNA and pick what we want as far as traits and everything."

"Well who's to say it's so far fetched? We can already screen for genetic disabilities, determine genders before an ultrasound can even pick up a picture, and with enough determination and splicing, I'm sure we'll be right on our way to making everyone a blonde haired blue eyed angel that every parent wants," the professor said, raising a brow at Roxas' appearance.

"Splicing? Genetic splicing? You mean the stuff of fantasy and sci-fi? Or the controlled breeding of certain plants and animals in hopes of an indirect result?"

"The stuff of fiction. Taking parts of the human genetic code and tossing it together very carefully with something else's. Personally, I love the idea of werewolves and other such things and I believe it's entirely possible to splice together two species to create another, so long as you know how to do it right and weed out the abnormalities."

"What! You can't be serious!" the blonde barked and slammed his hands on his table, standing up. The other classmates murmured and stared at him. The very notion of something so ridiculous made Roxas' blood boil. The fact that a person with such crazy ideals had control of his grades, his future, made it even worse. He'd be able to handle it if this was another college issued prerequisite, one that didn't matter, but this was a big deal. He glared at the man in the front of the class, ignoring the student/teacher roles they played and threatening him with his eyes.

"Is that a problem?" Axel asked calmly, a flicker of something passing behind his chartreuse irises. "You're welcome to leave if my opinions bother you so much. But they are in fact, opinions, don't forget." Roxas' fingertips dug into the tabletop as he fought the urge to get in the man's face. What he was saying was true though, it wasn't possible to do any of the things Axel was talking about and just because someone liked something didn't exactly make it okay to jump down their throat when he disagreed. He sat heavily in his chair again, grinding his teeth and keeping a menacing eye on the professor. "Good. Fantastic," Axel continued. He turned his attention to the whiteboard, taking up a dry erase marker and what was sewn onto the back of his vest caught everyone off guard and caused a few giggles. There was a giant cloth patch of Tigger nestled in the middle of the denim. Roxas groaned in disgust and let his forehead fall forward onto the table.

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The blonde banged on Hayner and Pence's door incessantly, waiting for one of them to hurry up and answer. Eventually, the door clicked open and an annoyed looking Hayner stood in front of him with a towel wrapped around his waist and was rubbing his hair with another.

"Can't a guy take a shower without any interruptions? God damn," he snapped and Roxas pushed his way in.

"I need a beer," Roxas said and threw his book bag on the floor before helping himself to Hayner's mini fridge. It was a dry campus, but Hayner, being close to a year older than Roxas, was able to buy his own beer and smuggle it in. Hardly anyone did a proper room search when the need arose and many people kept blatant bottles in their refrigerators, occasionally sharing with the RA's that were okay with it.

"Yeah okay, sure. I need to get some pants on though, hang on," the older blonde said and headed back into the bathroom. When he remerged, Roxas was sprawled out on his bed with his one arm over his eyes, the open half empty beer bottle hanging loosely from his fingertips over the other side. Hayner took a seat at his desk, waiting for his friend to speak.

"Have you ever hated someone so much, but couldn't understand why?" Roxas finally asked.

"I hate Setzer, does that count?"

"No, he gives people a reason to hate him. Like…okay. My Genetics professor. I really really don't like him, but I'm the only one in my class who doesn't. All the girls think he's hot shit and the guys think he's like their best friend. Personally, I just think he's an idiot. He teaches the material alright, but everything else about him irks me to no end and I can't find any other reason to explain it besides me just being a closed minded asshole."

"Well you are a closed minded asshole," Hayner said with a grin.

"Right, says the guy who wouldn't walk up three flights of stairs," the younger blonde said, batting away a fly. He took another swig from his beer.

"Exactly, but this is about you. What are you asking from me, Rox? Did you like want me to beat his ass or something?"

"I'm looking for a second opinion."

"Personally? I would just go to the class, hear what he has to teach and ignore him otherwise. I'm not entirely sure why you're letting it get to you so much. He isn't forcing conversation or anything on you, is he?"

"No, he just says things and they push my buttons just enough to make me snap."

"It took me a while to figure out what to say to make you angry, kudos to the guy for figuring it out so quickly."

"You're not helping," Roxas grumbled and glared at him.

"What do you want me to say? Seriously? I think you're being a bitch about it. He's just a teacher, dude. Stop flipping out."

"You don't understand. This guy, this idiot, has my grades under his thumb. My future. I had big plans for that and if I can't get through his class…"

"Stop. I'm going to punch you," Hayner said with a glare and a furrow of his brows. Roxas looked at him from under his arm. "You're overreacting." Before he could continue, there was a click of keys being pushed into the doorknob and Roxas hid his bottle behind his back. Pence opened the door and walked in with Namine. The smaller blonde sighed and took his beverage out again and took a swig. Pence quirked a brow at him.

"Drinking already? You know it's Monday and like four in the afternoon, right?" the pudgy brunette asked. Roxas extended his middle finger absently. Namine squeezed past him, carrying an oversized portfolio binder and made her way to Pence's bed, setting it down with her book bag.

"Hi Nams," Hayner said and the pale blonde waved over her shoulder at him silently. "What're you guys working on?"

"We have to put together a photo array of the things that changed here over the summer. It's supposed to be an observational study of details and stuff like that, things you don't care about," Pence said with a cheeky smile. Hayner nodded.

"You would be correct, couldn't give two shits, but I like pretty pictures. Can we see?"

"Sure," Namine said quietly. "Pence and I did ours together so we have most of the same material, just different angles, here," she said and flipped through the pages of her mostly empty portfolio. "The most obvious ones we could find were the two new teachers and part of the North dorm remodel, but other than that, you'd have to be there to understand what we were getting at." Hayner took the book and raised his brows at the first picture.

"Is that a chick?" he asked, Roxas got off the bed to look over his shoulder.

"That's the new English Lit professor, he's a guy," the younger blonde said and Hayner made a disturbed face.

"That's… no I almost called him hot, that's not okay. Totally not enough machismo behind that."

"I think he's beautiful," Namine said.

"And that's fine, because you're a girl," Hayner retorted and she rolled her eyes. Roxas shrugged, finishing his beer and setting the bottle aside. Hayner turned the page and the smaller blonde almost vomited.

"That's my Genetics professor," he said when he spied the picture of Axel; it must have been taken the first day of class because he was wearing the same ridiculous outfit. He was giving the camera a polite smile and a little wave. Hayner snorted.

"Freaky," he commented. "What the fuck is up with that hair?"

"I don't know. See why he pisses me off?" Roxas insisted.

"Yeah, he is weird," Hayner held the book at arms length, giving the picture a squint and shifting it around, "he sort of looks like a hippie."

"I actually think he's cool," Pence said. "He was really nice to us and let us take as many pictures as we wanted," he said and Namine nodded.

"See that's what I don't get," Roxas said. A fly buzzed around him and he swatted it away. "Everyone seems to like him but I can't get past his nonsense enough to see what they see."

"Is he rude to you?" Namine asked.

"Not really, no. He just says stupid things," Roxas said.

"Oh. But he does his job, right?"

"Yeah…"

"See? I told him he was being a bitch about it," Hayner interjected and Roxas smacked him on the shoulder.

"So what's the problem? You don't have to like him to pass his class." Pence said. Roxas sighed.

"You're right, I know. I'm just being an ass," he said, surrendering to their logic. He heaved another sigh and considered their words. It was just a class. Just one day a week. So what if the guy running it pissed him off to no end? As long as he gave the facts, and graded fairly, Roxas had no real reason to be so pissy about it. Axel could have his opinions, his conjecture, but so long as he did his job, Roxas supposed he could live with that. He had no other choice, unless he wanted to transfer schools and start in another program and lose half his credits in the process. It wasn't worth it.

He bid his farewells to his friends, deciding he needed to be by himself and submerge himself in his studies. He complimented Pence and Namine on their pictures and thanked Hayner for the beer before leaving. He wandered through the halls again, and down the stairs, out into the courtyard and towards his dorm building. The weather was heavy with humidity this particular early evening and Roxas inhaled deeply, smelling the scent of moisture and possible rain. He scanned the grassy area and spied a familiar head of red hair talking to another familiar head of silver hair and he groaned inwardly. He didn't want to be noticed by Axel and sped up his pace, but before he could get all the way past them, his professor called to him, and Roxas unwillingly stopped and turned his attention to him. Axel jogged to him with a smile.

"Roxas," the man said.

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry if I offended you earlier today, I didn't mean to," he said kindly. Roxas wanted to punch the smile off his face for making such asinine comments earlier but he kept his friend's words in the back of his mind. That, coupled with idea that if he hit a teacher, he would most likely be expelled, kept him at bay.

"It's fine…sorry for being an ass," the blonde said begrudgingly.

"Well everyone has those days, it's understandable. You seem very dedicated to the field and I'd love to pick your brain sometime and hear your own opinions about it all. Fair's fair, right?"

"I stick to the facts; I don't have many ideas of my own yet."

"Ah, well, if you do decide you'd like to share anything, I'm sure the class would be just as interested as I am. Do keep that in mind would you?" Axel asked and his smile spread apart into a slight grin, giving Roxas another view of his abnormal canine teeth. The blonde stared intently at the bones and raised a brow curiously. The professor noticed his interest and the smile fell away to a neutral face. "Something wrong?" he asked.

"Your teeth," Roxas said.

"Yes, I have them. Thirty-two, just like most everyone else. And I use them to eat and shape my voice, just like everyone else, too."

"Not that it's any of my business, but have you ever had any dental work done?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Is that all?" Axel asked, smiling again. Roxas nodded, giving him a suspicious look. "Good. See you next week then," the professor continued and held out his hand. The blonde shook it firmly and Axel left, jogging back to his companion who was waiting for him patiently. Roxas watched them go and the English Lit professor gave him the same feeling he had when they had their encounter last week. He felt like he was a little too graceful, a little too…ghostly? Floating? He couldn't figure it out. Axel seemed to walk like anyone else would but the both of them gave the blonde a weird feeling.

His curiosity grew the more he thought about it. Axel's weird teeth and the other, Mr. Shimizu's, grace made them an odd couple. It was clear to him now that he and Sora's hypothesis was correct when they assumed they were housemates, they seemed friendly enough with each other and were heading in the same direction across the campus together so it was entirely possible. The blonde shrugged it off for the moment and headed towards his dorm again. When he reached his room, Sora and Kairi were sitting together on Sora's bed with their noses in a pile of books. They both waved to him when he entered.

"How was your visit?" Sora asked, Roxas shrugged.

"Fine, I guess. What're you guys looking at?"

"English Lit homework," Kairi said simply. "I'm so distracted though."

"Yeah you are, stop it," Sora said and prodded her in the forehead. She batted his hand away.

"I can't!"

"Yes you can."

"What are you distracted by?" Roxas asked and the girl looked to him with an exaggerated pout.

"Our teacher," she said with a sad sigh.

"Oh. I just saw him leave."

"Isn't he gorgeous?" she asked with a sudden change to excitement. Roxas shrugged.

"I guess?" he said, asking the question rather than telling her anything. Sora made a disgruntled face and shook her shoulders.

"Stop it! He's weird!" he cried.

"I'm sorry! I can't! I'm in love!" she whined at him and fell to the side dramatically. Roxas snorted.

"Namine has pictures of him if you want to gawk," the blonde said and Kairi sprung back up with wide eyes.

"Holy crap! Seriously?" she squealed with a grin. Roxas nodded. "Oh man, I might have to gank them from her…" she added thoughtfully. Sora stuck out his tongue.

"Stop being a retarded fangirl, Kai."

"Never!" she protested. Roxas shook his head as he turned his laptop on and plunked into his chair. There was a fly sitting precariously on the eraser of a pencil he had sticking out of his cup of writing utensils. He eyed it suspiciously for a moment, wishing death upon its tiny soul. It could stay there, but for its sake, he hoped it wouldn't move so he would have an excuse to smash it.

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Running. So much running. Roxas couldn't tell what was chasing him but it was big and it was fast. He was able to keep in front of whatever it was for a decent amount of time across the open meadow, but he could hear it's breathing as it was catching up to him. His legs burned with the effort and he willed himself to continue, just a little more. If he could get to the city in the distance, he would be safe. He knew he would be safe. He had to be. It was the only thing in front of him and he went for it.

There was a low, animalistic grumble behind him as whatever was chasing him, put forth extra effort and got just a bit closer. Roxas' breathing came in gasps, as he could feel a hot breath against his back, hear a chuffing noise from flared nostrils, and smell the wild scent of something he couldn't even see. The city was closer, he just had to last a little bit more. He let out a scream as he was tripped by an enormously huge paw sweeping a leg out from under him. He landed in the soil and grass, knocking the wind from himself and he looked over his shoulder, eyes widening in terror at the beast that made its way to him.

He froze. An enormous Bengal tiger was standing behind him just a few feet away. Roxas had never seen a tiger before face to face and he was awestruck by the sheer size of the cat. The animal sized the blonde up and Roxas' heart went into overdrive as the realization sunk in, he was going to die. It took a few steps forward, paw pads easing over the dirt silently. The blonde closed his eyes, waiting for its enormous maw to clamp down on his body somewhere but the pain never came. After a moment of listening to the animal pant some from the effort they both had expelled, there was a heavy plop next to him and he eased his eyes open.

The tiger was lying next to him calmly, catching its breath. Roxas was confused and backed away from it, his legs acting clumsily and feeling like jelly. He wanted to stand, and to start running again, but his limbs wouldn't work for him and he was reduced to simply watching. The cat looked at him and the blonde's heart sunk. It looked absolutely depressed. As much as an animal can, anyway. Its eyes were droopy and the posture of its neck and face almost made it look timid, like it was ducking away from him even though it had just chased him across a field. After looking at each other for a moment the feline laid its head in between its huge paws and heaved a sigh, diverting its eyes away from the blonde.

Roxas pushed himself forward, and reached out a hand. He was shaking in fear but the animal, as big as it was, looked helpless, like it had been abused and beaten though there were no visible signs. The cat looked at him but made no move to create contact so Roxas reached further. His fingertips came to rest on the animal's shoulder blade and it picked up its head and looked at him in response. It's eyes dropped some and looked like it was about to burst into tears if only it had the capability to and Roxas felt it's velvety pelt sag inward under his hand.

The tiger started to disintegrate before him. The blonde pulled his hand away in shock, as it was coated in a slimy film. A bubbling gel eased through the hairs on the tiger's skin and it was soon transfigured into a tiger-shaped glob of iridescent goo. The substance sloughed off its skeleton in heaping chunks and sunk into the grass surrounding them and Roxas watched with a horrified face as its bones rattled to the ground in a bleached pile soon afterward. He pushed himself forward to the remnants and touched a rib, having it instantly crumble away to ash with the rest of the bones following suit.

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Roxas shot up from his pillows, panting. He looked around and noticed he was in his dorm, his brother sleeping soundly in the other bed. He looked at his hands, expecting to see a smear of gray ash on his fingers but they were clean. Of course they were, it was a dream. Dreams aren't real. He tried to catch his breath, gulping the air down in great heaves and he felt his chest. He was coated in a film of sweat but he was otherwise fine.

He felt a drip on his shoulder and he touched the skin where it had landed. His hand came away with something wet on it and he looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing wrong with it from what he could tell in the dark. He pushed the covers off of himself and jumped off his bed, heading into the bathroom to check. He flicked on the light and squinted at himself in the mirror. His eye's widened and he let out a yelp but quickly halted any further noise from escaping. He didn't want to wake up the neighbors but his breath picked up at the sight of what was coming out of his ear.

There was a trail of black slime coming from the inside of his ear canal and dripping off of his ear lobe, onto his shoulder. He reached up with a shaking hand and touched the substance, looking at it. It looked like motor oil. He sniffed it, it didn't have a smell he could discern and he turned on the sink to wash it away. It came away easily and he quickly grabbed a washrag from the cabinet under the basin to wash his ear. It didn't stain the fabric and all evidence it was ever there swirled down the drain.

After he could catch his breath and decide that he was far too tired to think about this, he headed back to his bed. He would try to figure it out in the morning. He pulled his covers away and yawned before putting his hand on the mattress and trying to pull himself in again. He startled as he felt a crunch under his palm. He couldn't see very well and leaned over to his desk, clicking on a lamp and let out a scream, staggering backwards, away from the bed. Sora startled awake and sat up with a frantic face.

"What what!" he yelled and Roxas pointed to his bed with his mouth open. There on his mattress, was a random cluster of dead flies on his pillow, some of which had rolled off onto the mattress to where he had crushed them underhand. The flies had come from the same side of the pillow that had the dripping substance from his ear. "Ew! What the hell are those?" Sora asked, squinting at the little black dots from across the room.

"Flies, apparently, I woke up from a dream and I felt something coming out of my ear and when I checked, it was this black shit and so I washed it away and came back to find this," he said, motioning to the insects. "I'm a little scared."

"Black shit?"

"Black shit."

"Lemme see," the brunette said and turned on the overhead light before pulling Roxas' ear upwards and looking inside. "Ew gross, dude. Get a Q-tip in there," he said and Roxas shoved him away, heading back into the bathroom. He stomped around, digging through the medicine cabinet full of toiletries for said cotton swab. He dug around in his ear with the stick and gagged when he pulled it out covered in wax and the 'black shit.' He used the other side of the swab and several more until they came out clean. He threw them in the garbage and closed up the cabinet. He went to the side of Sora's bed.

"Move over," he ordered and the brunette raised a brow.

"What? No way, this thing is tiny enough as it is."

"Move the fuck over, Sora," he ordered again and his brother sighed, scooting to the side as much as he could. Roxas wedged himself under the covers and the brothers tried to find a reasonable position with their backs to one another.

"I swear to god, if I wake up with any morning wood pressed against my butt, I'm calling mom and telling her horrible things."

"Shut up and sleep."

"Take a fucking joke, Roxas. Seriously."

"I'm having a bad school experience so far this semester and this little development isn't helping my mood any."

"Yeah well at least you're not trying to get a girl to date you who's completely creaming herself for your English Lit teacher. Fucking douchebag," Sora muttered and shifted around, trying to get comfortable.

"You're trying to date Kairi?"

"I'd like to, yeah. But ever since we started school, she's been absolutely nuts for him. The dude is almost thirty and he's a major cock block let me tell you."

"Girls do stupid things for beautiful people."

"Yeah they do. I hate it," the younger brother grumbled. Roxas shrugged.

"Grow your hair out and bleach it if it bothers you so much."

"That's not the point. Kairi and I have been together for like… a billion years and she won't let me out of the friend zone, you know? I've been trying, really really trying for a year now. I'm starting to give up."

"Date Namine, she's just as nice and pretty."

"But she's not Kairi…"

"True," the blonde said and trailed off. He had a thought and he sputtered a breath through his lips before laughing to himself.

"What?"

"No, no, I just had a really stupid idea. Crazy, actually."

"Tell me."

"I was just thinking… how terrible would it be if you were to date your English Lit teacher? Do you realize how many girls would try to kill you?"

"…That is really terrible, I hate you."

"No you don't."

"I know but… yuck."

"I know, I know. That's why it's ridiculous. Sorry I said anything."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

He sighed around the cord hanging out of his mouth. He was hooked up to the Mainframe Catalogue by way of his Link, waiting for Ansem to finish the last minute details. He was still nameless, even after five days, and he was still hopelessly boring and without color. Ansem didn't push it though; the man gave him adequate time to figure himself out. The truth behind his non-identity was that he didn't actually see the point. He was the only one, so why bother to make himself more of an individual? He didn't have anyone to impress, to put on a nice face for, so why worry?

Five days, and already he felt like a failure to Ansem and the mission. He was already going against his Primal nature by wanting companionship. What would he do when he found his Charge? Would he even go with the Implanted nature and want everything like Leon had? Leon had a family, a huge one; his program was a success. But the colorless loner? Could he hope to achieve so much? He doubted it. He took solace in the idea that when he did find his Charge, it wouldn't matter what the gender was, they could repopulate anyway so there was little pressure in that regard. Ansem didn't seem to care either, and simply went with whatever he wanted. What he felt was the most comfortable. He sighed again, pulling the man's attention away from the screen.

"What's wrong?" the man asked kindly, giving him a light smile.

"I want to be beautiful for my Charge. Riku is more beautiful than I am," he said, wistfully thinking of his friend's appearance. The consideration that his Charge would refuse him simply based on appearance was enough to put a lump in his gut. If he was refused, he could never be as successful as Leon.

"You're so quick to worry about the things you feel you are lacking. Demyx's speed, Riku's beauty…what next?"

"Leon's family…"

"Oh good grief," Ansem said and shook his head. "Leon has been around for years before your program even took off, don't be envious of something that took six decades to achieve. You've only been with us for less than a week."

"I still want to be as beautiful as Riku," he huffed and his tongue danced around the thin line coming from his back molar. He was careful not to bite it; that would be disastrous.

"And who's to say you aren't?"

"…No one yet, but I still don't feel I'm ready."

"Because you aren't. There is a very high likelihood that your Charge hasn't even been born yet."

"I don't want to wait!" he insisted. "I want someone, now."

"I know. Such is your impatient nature. But you have to fight it and be patient. You're a rare breed and it'll take some time for everything to adjust."

"Riku is rarer…"

"Yes but his program started even before Leon's and is only just now picking up. We were lucky with you. You were able to come to fruition and leave the Compound earlier than expected."

"I hated that damn place."

"I know you did. I was there, don't forget. That kind of determination and confidence is what makes you powerful outside of brute strength though, and you mustn't forget that. Riku's taken so long to find his Charge because he's so gentle, so passive. It'll be a healthy competition between you two in the long run, I'm sure."

"I'm hungry," he blurted, changing the subject purposefully.

"I'm sure you are. We're almost done, be patient with me." One of Ansem's hands worked a knob on the surface of the Catalogue while the other poked away at the keyboard, keys lighting up under his touch. "We need to make sure your internal nerves are working correctly, if you feel something tell me, and make sure I know where it's coming from," the man said and kept an eye on him while he turned the knob just ever so slightly. He jumped and put a hand to his jaw as he felt a pinch between his teeth. Ansem poked away at the keyboard, taking a note. There was a high pitched screech that rattled his eardrum and he made a pained snarl and stuck a finger in his ear. Another note. Then he felt like someone stabbed him in the eye with a piece of hot metal and he yelped, grabbing at his eye socket. Another note.

"How long is this going to take!?" he yelled, already getting annoyed with the process. He knew nothing was actually hurting him but the fact that he could still feel it didn't help.

"We can do it all in pieces if you want or we can do it all at once and get it out of the way. Here, I'll try something else," Ansem said and clicked around the keyboard and twitched the knob. Immediately, there was a surge of heat under his skin that pooled in his loins and he covered himself in a blush as he felt his arousal rising. Ansem took a note. As he turned the knob the heat traveled underneath his scrotum and he shifted in his seat, with a disgruntled face. Another note. Down and around the feeling went back through his buttocks and traveled up his spine at regular intervals before lifting the hairs on the nape of his neck, Ansem taking notes along the way. He shivered. He knew this was part of the process but he didn't exactly like sharing all these new sensations with Ansem. He didn't like him enough, but it didn't matter. This was a test, not anything personal. It took two long hours to test everything from pain receptors to feeling bodily functions, to pleasure sensors. His least favorite part was when Ansem made him feel like his nails were being pulled from his skin, but there wasn't much else to stimulate those nerves other than pain. Finally, he was able to disconnect his Link safely and was sent on his way to entertain himself until the next bout of tests.

His stomach gurgled unhappily. Ansem had lied to him, claiming it wasn't going to take long to finish. But he had survived so no harm no foul. He weaved his way through the blank hallways towards the dining hall. Once he entered, he spied Demyx by the far wall and his friend jumped up, waving at him dressed in the same drab clothing he was. He waved back lightly and went to go get a plate of food before sitting at the table with Demyx, Riku, Leon and Leon's Charge, a man named Cloud.

"Hi!" Demyx barked happily and stuck another piece of raw meat in his mouth. He smiled at his friend through his chewing. "Did Ansem give you a name yet?" He shook his head. "Oh…"

"Well what's your model number?" Leon asked casually. His Charge was sticking a fork in a pile of foliage he had never seen before.

"4x31," he answered calmly. Demyx laughed and patted his shoulder.

"How about Axel?"

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Roxas didn't sleep very well that evening. His brother was an active sleeper and kept kicking him to no end, in addition to his mind racing trying to figure out what the hell had happened the night before. When he 'awoke' or rather, when he decided to get up, he went to Hayner and Pence's room to ask his cubby brunette friend a favor. It was early, and it was Tuesday. Pence would probably be awake for his morning class but if Roxas woke up Hayner, he'd have a shoe in his ass. He didn't care though, and knocked on the door. It took only a few seconds for Pence to answer.

"Hey, do you know how early it is?" he whispered. Roxas shrugged and nodded.

"I need a couple film canisters," he whispered back. Pence raised a brow at him.

"Not the film just the canisters?"

"Right."

"Okay, hang on," the brunette said and closed the door quietly. Roxas waited, zoning out with his fatigue and staring at the door frame. He startled when Pence came back and handed him the little plastic canisters. "Two enough?" he asked and the blonde nodded.

"Thanks. I'll come back later today, I just needed these, see you," Roxas added and waved over his shoulder. Pence nodded slightly and closed the door again. Once he reached the courtyard, Roxas dug around in his pocket for his cell phone and dialed his friend Olette. It took a while for the girl to answer, but when she did, she sounded extremely tired. "Olette?"

"Roxas?" she asked groggily, "I don't have to be up for another hour, what the hell?"

"Sorry, I wanted to ask if you knew when your Biology professor got in."

"What day is it, Tuesday? His office hours start this early but his classes don't start until mine. Which is in two hours," she said, sounding a little annoyed. She yawned. "Why? Did you need something?"

"I wanted to ask him some questions, that's all. Thanks, I'll let you get back to sleep."

"Okay, talk to you later," she sighed and hung up. Roxas made his way back to his room quickly and when he got in, Sora was still asleep. The pile of flies was still right where he left it and he opened a film canister and pushed a few inside before capping it again. He went to the bathroom and picked a cotton swab from the trash can and broke it in half so it would fit in the other canister. He pocketed the evidence and left again.

On his way to the Administration building, Roxas had to pass through a small field and he was reminded of his dream with the tiger. He was never able to remember a dream so vividly before. He could almost feel the giant paw against his leg when it was pulled from under him. The tiger never really hurt him though, it just wanted his attention. Roxas shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair a little, letting out a breath. He wasn't one for thinking there was a meaning behind dreams but considered consulting one of the books based on the subject. He would probably find some ridiculous meaning behind it all and he would discredit it immediately so he decided not to waste his time. He pulled the heavy oak door open and headed inside the Administration building. He asked the secretary in the main office for the Biology professor's office number and after climbing a flight of stairs and passing several other doors, he found it.

"Come in," came a calm easy voice when the blonde knocked. Roxas pushed the door open and there was a man with long russet colored hair sitting behind a desk surrounded with stacks of papers and books. He looked up from what he was writing to see who was there from beneath his eyebrows and Roxas had his attention immediately. "Can I help you?" he asked. Roxas was a little surprised at how young he was, and the giant scar crossing between his eyes, but it seemed a common theme with the professors lately. Being too young and weird looking to some degree, so he dismissed it. What held his attention though was that the man had a tail of hair behind his ear wrapped in a colorful green thread with a charm hanging from it. Roxas was immediately suspicious but he needed the man's help, so he decided to grin a bear it.

"Uhm, my name is Roxas and I'm not one of your students but I need your help with something," he started and dug in his pocket to pull out the film canisters. "I had something really weird happen to me last night and I was wondering if you can help me identify what this stuff is?"

"Those are film canisters," the man said simply.

"Yeah I know that but there's stuff inside them. Do you have the time to use the Biology lab with me?" he asked. The professor looked at his watch and nodded. He opened a drawer and pulled out a set of keys before standing and closing everything up. There was a cork board next to his door and he left a note stating where he would be if anyone needed him and locked his office before making his way back out of the Administration building with Roxas.

"What are we dealing with?" the professor asked.

"I can't really explain it very well. But I know that in one of these there are a few house flies and the other is a Q-tip I used to clean something black and disgusting out of my ear," the blonde said. "I'm more concerned about what the black stuff is, not so much the flies."

"Flies and black stuff, hm?"

"Yeah I know it's weird, just trust me when I say I can't really explain it well."

"I'll take your word for it, then. What makes you think I can identify it though? Are you sure it's organic?"

"I have no idea, but I figured you'd be the best bet."

"Well I'm flattered, but if we can't figure it out, I'll give the Chemistry department a call and get some help, sound good?"

"Okay, that sounds fine," Roxas was thankful he didn't ask too many prodding questions. It was bad enough he had to tell where the black substance came from and make it seem like he didn't bathe enough. He was also pleasantly surprised that the man was so willing to help. Maybe he was more normal than the blonde had first predicted and was on the quest for knowledge, just like he was. It was a comforting thought. He seemed sane enough and didn't have any weird qualities like Mr. Shimizu's walking or Axel's teeth, but that woven tail of hair was still suspicious. That was something he did share with the other two. Maybe they all belonged to the same fraternity at one point or something.

The Biology lab was locked but that problem was quickly rectified with the professor's keys. The lights flickered on and Roxas was a little envious that the lab was so extensive versus his labs in the Genetics department. Then again, the things he was working with were much smaller and needed hugely expensive microscopes and computers to see what they needed to see. Biology was much more advanced in that regard, having been around much much longer and having the technology adapt to it. The name placard on the desk said "Squall Leonhart, PhD." Roxas quickly realized he was with the head of the department, which made him a little more excited. At least the man would know what he was talking about.

"Mr. Leonhart, right?" the blonde asked, simply to confirm his deduction. The man nodded.

"You can call me Leon if you wish. It makes me feel incredibly old to be called 'mister' even 'doctor' is a little much for me," he said calmly and opened a cabinet and pulled out a small microscope. Roxas nodded. He watched Leon set the microscope aside to shuffle around in a drawer for a vial of some clear liquid, a clean slide and a tiny plastic cover as well as some other minor implements. He held out his hand to the blonde and Roxas handed over the film canisters readily, taking up a position on the other side of the table to give the man some room to work. Leon searched around and pulled a pair of latex gloves on before pulling open the first canister. His nose twitched and he blinked a few times. "You didn't warn me about the smell," he said and Roxas was confused.

"It doesn't smell like much to me," the blonde said and the professor shrugged.

"Must just be me, then," he said simply and used a pair of tweezers to pull the broken cotton swab out of the plastic cylinder. He bent low over the table and used another pair of tweezers to gently scrape the substance off the fibers of the swab onto the slide, being careful not to breathe too hard on it and blow it all away. He took the eyedropper out of the vial of clear liquid and placed a drop of it on the flakes and placed the plastic cover over the completed sample. He then plugged in the microscope and turned on the light, shoving the slide under the metal prongs underneath the lens. He put his eyes to the scope and switched between the different strengths of the lenses before adjusting the focus. "Alright, come here," he said after a few moments of searching and Roxas walked around the table to look in. He didn't know what he was looking at.

"Okay what am I missing here? I'm not a Biology major."

"Those are blood cells, my friend."

"Bl—what?" the blonde was horrified. "Why is it black?" even with his limited knowledge, he knew blood wasn't supposed to be black.

"That's a very good question. I have no idea. There're other things in there I can't identify, but I definitely see blood. You may not be able to pick it out, but believe me. It's there. If you want, I can call the Chemistry department, though it may not be such an easy fix as just getting a sample and looking at it."

"Please do, I'm really freaked now, what was that doing in my ear?" Roxas asked, his voice a little panicked, he stepped away from the microscope, just as Leon started dialing his cell phone. He listened into the receiver for a moment.

"Cloud? Leon. Come to the Biology lab plea—I don't care," he said and there was a pause as he listened, brows furrowing together some. "Finish it later, I have a student that needs your help," he said, sounding annoyed. He listened further, occasionally opening his mouth and trying to speak, but the voice on the other line apparently wasn't letting him get a word in edgewise and all he could manage was a crack or a squeak from his vocal chords. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Don't do this now, just get over here and you'll see what I mean. Alright? Fine," he grumbled and hung up. He turned to Roxas and the blonde was a little stunned by the half of the conversation he had heard.

"Problems?" he asked and Leon shook his head, the charm in his hair falling over his shoulder with a jingle.

"Egotistical, but enough about that," he said, dismissing the discussion. "Are you sure this isn't your blood we're looking at mixed with whatever you found?" he asked, turning back to the microscope and moving the slide around some for another view and readjusting the focus.

"My ear didn't hurt and I wasn't bleeding as far as I could tell," Roxas said.

"Well I'm just going to assume the skin cells are yours then. Other than that, I can't really tell what this is without a chemist. What about the flies?" he asked and the blonde pushed the other canister to him. The professor opened it and used another pair of tweezers to pull out one of the insects. "What makes you think they're related?"

"I found them in my bed next to the ear that was dripping the black stuff I only grabbed a few but there had to be at least two dozen of them there, just laying around dead."

"That's a little strange," Leon added with a quirked brow. He squinted at the fly in front of his face. The door opened and Roxas startled at the noise, Leon didn't. In walked a tall blonde man in a lab coat looking relatively angry, striking aqua eyes blazing with the emotion. That must be Cloud, but the name sewn into the pocket of his coat said 'Strife' and Roxas assumed that was his last name. Leon held out a hand in the taller blonde's face as the man stalked over to them. "Save it. Focus," the brunette said, avoiding confrontation and pointed at the microscope. "Look," he ordered and the blonde cleared his throat and looked to Roxas, his face losing a little of its hard edge.

"Hello by the way," Cloud said calmly with a hint of annoyance. Roxas was a little intimidated by the way he simply stormed in but he was thankful this professor was also normal looking and lacking any sort of adornment in his pointy blonde hair that matched the other professor's. Roxas felt a little more secure knowing that. The only thing that seemed off about him was the fact that he had an ear piercing but at least he didn't have any tattoos on his face. Roxas could live with that, he had considered getting one himself in the past. Leon continued to scrutinize the fly as Cloud's bright eyes looked into the microscope. "I have no idea what I'm looking at, but I can see pieces of silicone or sand or something. I'd have to run a few tests to be completely sure though," he said simply after a moment of observation. Leon capped the canister that held the cotton swab and pushed it into Cloud's hand and the blonde man rolled his eyes.

"Get to it," Leon said.

"I'll get back to you when I have the results," Cloud grumbled and nodded politely to Roxas before leaving just as angrily as he had come. Roxas' eyes darted between the door and Leon, who was busy with the fly still. The professor didn't seem bothered by the hostility but they seemed to know each other well enough to coexist.

"So it's just a fly, right?" the blonde asked after a tense minute.

"It is. But there's something wrong with it, I can't quite put my finger on it and I'll have to put it under a microscope to dissect it if we want to figure out what."

"Oh, do you have the time to?" Roxas asked, hoping he would but a little apprehensive by what he might find.

"I will after my classes today," the professor said, pulling up his sleeve and looking at his watch. "It's getting to be that time. I'll hang onto these and find you when I have the results. Are you in the student registry?"

"Yeah."

"Last name?"

"Andrews."

"Simple enough, I'll be in touch."

"Thank you," the blonde sighed and made his exit. Leon watched him go quietly, observing the blonde through his bangs. Once he was out of sight the professor dropped what he was doing and whipped out his cell phone, dialing quickly.

"Axel? It's me."

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Roxas was running again. Through the same meadow, trying to get away from the same beast behind him. He couldn't remember what the beast was though; he just knew he had to get away. Had to keep running. Had to escape. His breath squeaked against his raw windpipe as his legs pumped his feet faster and faster. Suddenly, the landscape started to change.

Enormous trees sprung from the ground almost instantly and the ground shifted under his feet, pulling away the grass and replacing it all with knotted roots and uneven soil. He tripped and his face landed in the soft underbrush of a suddenly tropical environment. All around him were new sights, smells, and noises. Birds squawking and chirping overhead, insects buzzing around en masse, the rusting of the forest canopy as something else moved the vines around overhead. The air got heavy and humid, making it hard for him to regain his breath. The entire forest smelled organic and fresh with the distinct underlying scent of earth. Something rough licked the bottom of his foot and he froze.

He was reminded of what was chasing him previously. The tiger. He was instantly afraid of it but tried to remember that it didn't hurt him before and it wasn't exactly trying to do so now, so why flip out? He tensed but didn't move to get away when the animal padded around him silently and flopped onto the dirt before him, tail twitching a little as it simply watched him. They were in a shaded area and even though it was daylight out, part of the tiger's face was in shadow, hiding its eyes. He wanted to touch it, but he was afraid it would disappear again.

Roxas liked animals enough, just like he liked plants enough. He was less interested in them as subjects than people, but he couldn't help but want to study it anyway. It wasn't every day he could get this close to a tiger and have it not rip off a limb. He was entranced by its size and the bright coloration of its pelt, between the stark black stripes; it was a marvel of nature to be sure. Its posture was casual; a front foot turned outward, showing enormous black paw pads with long fur in between the toes and Roxas didn't feel quite so threatened by it this time around though that didn't make all the jitters go away.

A bird called overhead, diverting the cat's attention away, and it looked up and around at the canopy, tail flicking hard and landing against its side. It was bigger than Roxas. The blonde was still lying on his stomach in the dirt and the cat had to be at least four feet longer than he was from its nose to the tip of its tail, most of which belonged to that powerful body. He wanted a tape measure, just to be sure but he didn't have one and had to work with assumptions for now. The tiger resumed its watching of the blonde and its face contorted a bit before it opened its jaws in an enormous yawn, curling a huge tongue in the process, giving Roxas a view of all of its teeth.

The tiger had gone to the dentist. It had a crown on its back molar. Or something that looked like a crown, anyway. It was silver and didn't actually belong there, not in a tiger's mouth. Roxas raised a brow at it and almost groaned when the animal let its jaws shut again, he was still curious. He wanted to know more. The urge was overwhelming and before he could realize what he was doing, he was sitting in front of the tiger's face, just inches from its nose. Its head was as wide as his torso and probably weighed twice as much. He didn't care though, if the tiger had wanted to kill him, it would have done so already.

He reached a hand forward and a fingertip brushed its whiskers, he could feel the wiry hairs underneath and he pressed forward and touched a rounded jowl. He watched the tiger's shaded eyes carefully as he eased a finger underneath its lip and felt its slick gums beneath. It was warm, incredibly warm and Roxas flinched when he could feel the teeth. The tiger's face twitched and the lip pulled upward, feeling the fingers resting uncomfortably under it like a stray piece of food was lodged in there. Roxas took his other hand and pushed it against its bottom jaw, and wedged his fingertips between the teeth. He pulled in opposite directions with his hands and the maw opened again easily, the tiger catching on to what we wanted.

Warm humid breath wafted across Roxas' face as he eased a hand inward and poked at the back molar, trying to ignore its huge canines. He pushed on it, trying to shift it around and the tiger twitched and let out a sudden growl that made the blonde jump back. The tiger closed its mouth again and ran a huge paw over its snout, trying to rid itself of the feeling.

"Sorry," the blonde said timidly though he wasn't sure why. It's not like the animal could understand him. The tiger made no move to attack him though and resettled itself into its casual posture again. No harm no foul. Roxas reached forward again and the tiger let him run his fingers over its face. He felt every bone, every curve of its snout and skull, pressing his hands into the outer tufts of fur on its jaws and neck. The hair surrounding its face was so dense and thick that his palms completely disappeared when he shoved them into it. He was fascinated. Then the beast snorted. Not really a snort but a quick huff of air through its nose. A chuff. Roxas smiled.

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Roxas' eyes eased open and he blinked against the darkness. Another dream. At least he was able to wake up calmly this time instead of having a heart attack. He pulled himself up to a sitting position and felt his ear. He felt the same wetness as before and leaned over to click on the light, expecting to see a sea of flies on his mattress again. There was one. It was still just as dead as the others had been though and he looked at his fingers, a smear of black across them, but less than there had been previously. It wasn't gushing out of his ear this time.

He sighed, he wasn't trilled. He made his way past his brother and into the bathroom. He pulled out several more cotton swabs and worked the gunk out of his ear until it was clean again. He couldn't even get scared anymore. It was only the second time it had happened, but still. It didn't burn, it didn't itch, and it cleaned away easily enough. Until the professors could get their test results back, he wouldn't let himself freak out about it. So long as he wasn't feeling anything else, why should he? It was illogical.

He was curious about the dream though. It was incredibly vivid and seemed to be connected to the fly and the black stuff. His fingertips tingled with the feeling of the tiger's soft pelt and the sensation of its gums and teeth. He rubbed his fingertips together and the feeling stayed. It was comforting to a degree, he had enjoyed it. It bothered him that his mind could conjure up such a fallacy though. He wasn't exactly the most creative person he had ever met. He barely passed his art class in high school, even. He shrugged it off, chocking it up to the great mysteries of the human mind and clicked off the bathroom light, heading back to his bed. There was a quiet buzzing and he froze.

There was another fly somewhere in the room, he could hear it clearly and tried to follow the sound to smash it. It zoomed past his vision and headed for Sora. The brunette was sleeping soundly with a small smile on his face and completely still, which was weird for him. The fly landed on his neck and crawled up towards the younger brother's ear. Roxas took a curious step closer and was horrified when the insect disappeared into his brother's ear canal.

There was a light popping sound and a tiny trail of dust came from Sora's ear before the fly remerged and fell forward, toppling down the back of the younger brother's neck. The blonde walked to him and peered over, the fly had fallen on the pillow, dead. Roxas' hand went up to his own ear subconsciously and his fingers shook. He frantically pushed his brother's shoulder, shoving him back on top of the insect. Roxas gagged as a trickle of black poured out of his ear and the blonde took hold of both of his shoulders, shaking him.

"Sora! Sora wake up!" he pleaded but the brunette wouldn't stir. Roxas patted his brother's cheek lightly before losing patience and hauling off and slapping him. Nothing. "Sora!" he yelled. "Come on!" He knew the brunette was a heavy sleeper but this was getting stupid. Roxas went into the bathroom and ran some cold water into a little paper cup, preparing to dump it on him. Before he could get back to the bed, Sora's eyes flew wide and he yelled, sitting up and panting frantically and clutching at his chest. His forehead glistened with a coating of sweat and his panicked eyes looked around the room, landing on Roxas. The blonde looked concerned, staring at his brother's ear as it leaked onto his shoulder. Sora blinked and reached up and touched it, looking at his hand curiously.

"What the fuck!" he screamed when he saw the smear on his palm.

"I saw it," the blonde said. "I saw a fly go in your ear and do something."

"What?" Sora asked confusedly and pulled the covers off of him and they both yelled at the sight of a mass of flies spread out on the brunette's mattress that Roxas hadn't realized was there before. The younger brother flailed away from them and fell out of the bed harshly and scrambled into the bathroom. The blonde's heart was going a mile a minute while his mind was racing with trying to understand what was happening.

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"A snow leopard?" Roxas asked, with a quirked brow.

"Yeah, it was chasing me through a field and I was running towards a city and then it caught me, but it didn't kill me. It just lay around and when I tried to pet it, it melted. It was…gross," Sora said, looking at the floor. "I felt bad for it. It looked so scared."

"I had the same dream but with a tiger."

"Really?"

"Exactly the same."

"Creepy. Maybe we should see a therapist."

"Maybe. Or go to the zoo," Roxas said with a cynical smirk. He wanted to do some more research and see an actual tiger before he went on about make-believe ones.

"I'm not sure I can look at a snow leopard now and feel the same way again," Sora said hesitantly.

"Well I'm probably going to go sometime soon. You're welcome to come along with me if you like, or don't, doesn't matter."

"Yeah, I'll pass…" the younger brother trailed. He was obviously upset and Roxas couldn't blame him, but until he knew what they were dealing with he couldn't give him much solace aside from distraction. So he changed the subject.

"So how's Kairi?" he asked, Sora shrugged.

"She's fine. We have English Lit in the morning again and I'm not happy about it. I hope Mr. Shimizu won't be such a douche."

"He seems nice enough, why do you call him a douche?"

"Because he's honing in on my action without even meaning to," Sora grumbled and Roxas laughed.

"Is he now?"

"Yeah, Kairi and a couple other girls from my class went to his triplex yesterday and she wouldn't shut up about it. I'm sure she's trying to get in his pants."

"You discredit her so easily; you really think she'd sleep with her teacher?"

"She keeps acting like she would. It's believable enough."

"Well Kairi doesn't seem like that kind of girl to me. She might gush about him but I doubt she'd do anything like that. Not only is he way too old for her, but there's an ethics code he should follow if he's doing his job right. You just don't sleep with your students and anyone who does doesn't deserve to teach in my opinion," Roxas said, trying to reassure his sibling. Sora itched his scalp some, looking thoughtful.

"I know but that doesn't necessarily mean it won't happen," he said.

"And if it does?"

"…I probably wouldn't talk to her anymore."

"You're that serious about her?"

"Serious enough. I guess I'm just a little possessive and we aren't even dating, how creepy is that?" the brunette said with an embarrassed smile.

"It's a little creepy, I'll admit but you can't help how you feel with situations like this."

"Do you have a crush on anyone?"

"Not really, no."

"Oh…so then how do you know how I feel?"

"I don't but I'm trying to help you feel better anyway, I'll stop."

"Yeah, do that."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"AxelAxelAxel!"

"DemyxDemyxDemyx!"

"Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat?"

"Whatwhatwhat?"

"I forgot!"

"…What?"

"No seriously, I had something I want to asked you and I totally forgot when I saw you," Demyx said with a lopsided grin and a light giggle.

"That was really anticlimactic," Axel said, joining in his smile and chuckling under his breath. His friend made an exaggerated thinking face and touched a finger to his chin, looking off into space as he tried to remember. Axel raised a colorless brow at him expectantly. Demyx gasped and clapped his hands together.

"Oh yeah! I wanted to ask if you got your change code yet. So we could go for a run maybe?"

"Ah no, no I haven't," Axel admitted. "But I can watch you run if you're just looking for some company."

"Oh, well you're welcome to watch but the point was to run together. I'm tired of running with my siblings," his friend said with a soft smile. Demyx had a family. A small one, but it was there. He had two sisters and a brother who were a lot like he was but Demyx was the most fun to be around in Axel's opinion. They all chose to be identified by crazy hair styles and aquamarine colored eyes, even when they had the entire Catalogue at their fingertips to choose from. Axel still couldn't decide on his own colors, and thus remained relatively boring, hiding behind a veil of uncertainty.

"I can't just yet, but I'll watch," he said and they started down the hallway together heading towards the track. They passed through several halls of doors and laboratories, the dining hall, and a few housing areas before eventually making it outside. Demyx's Charge, a man named Zexion, was waiting for him by the track. His friend broke off from their walking pace and sped ahead of him to meet with the other. Axel waited off to the side for Demyx to change. They held a brief conversation together fraught with giggles from the sandy blonde before he held out his hand and Zexion handed off his Signet.

Demyx hooked the little charm into his earlobe and waved to Axel, who waved back, before clicking his Signet and standing still. Axel had seen other people change before but he always found Demyx's code to be the most fascinating. The fact that his Primal was so much bigger than his Implant helped a great deal because instead of his limbs bowing inward and becoming shorter, they shot forward and elongated a few more inches. Zexion backed away a few feet as Demyx fell forward onto his palms, panting with the effort as his skin bubbled up from where his signet had been placed in his ear.

The sandy blonde's limbs cracked and twitched as his hair glittered and dimmed to a light gold, before starting to spread over his skin. His back jerked and his torso became longer and his shoulders shifted higher. His legs bowed and cracked, splitting the skin in between his feet and pushing outward as his toes and soles rounded out to make paws. His hands received the same treatment as his arms grew longer and Axel could see his non-retractable claws peek out of the golden fur. A thick, patterned tail that was just about as long as his body smoothed out the bottoms of his shorts and fell against his leg limply. Demyx's face was the last to change as the fur spread over his body completely, creating the spots and patterns that made his kind so unique. His ears shifted up his skull and the bridge of his nose stuck out just a little bit as the nose itself turned into a black bean-shaped piece of flesh on the front of his face. Once he was finished, Demyx shook his entire body, all the way from his face, to the tip of his tail, flinging excess pieces of skin and synthetic gelatinous material in all directions, letting his pelt gleam in the light. Zexion came forward then and tugged the bland beige clothes off of him and Axel smiled as a cheetah with a raised patched of fur down the nape of his neck looked over his shoulder at him. Demyx always had a cowlick when it came to his Primal; it's what set him apart from his siblings who were relatively boring as far as cheetahs go. It was almost as if he kept his crazy hair style, even after he changed.

Demyx was beautiful, and he had a Charge, and he had a family, and he was the fastest. He had everything already and Axel couldn't help but feel a little envious, wondering when his time would come. The colorless loner didn't even have his change code yet, or his Signet. He was a little behind, but he didn't have anyone to impress, he was the only one of his kind, so he brushed it off. Axel went to join his friend as they waited for Demyx's siblings to come to the track for a run. Zexion stood off to the side calmly and Demyx's claws clicked against the hardened flooring as he paced.

"Are they not coming?" Axel asked and Zexion shrugged.

"They will eventually, his brother should be first. The women tend to be a little more uptight and take longer," the Charge responded. Demyx's ear twitched and he picked his head up, looking across the track at the other doors of the other building where the females were kept. Two more cheetahs came bounding out of the building followed by their Charges, who were holding the doors for them. Demyx took off in a sudden burst of speed across the track and collided with one of his sisters in a tumbling match. Axel was vaguely aware of the door opening behind him before another male cheetah blew past and tackled into the already forming furry pile. Another Charge took up a stance next to Zexion, panting, as apparently his Primal had worn him out trying to get there.

Axel felt an overwhelming sadness as he watched the beasts untangle themselves from one another and start running along the track, trying to catch one another again. Axel wanted to run, but he wasn't allowed to until he could change and that could be a while yet. Maybe a swim? He liked swimming but it wasn't hot enough to justify getting wet. He sighed, heading for the door, not bothering to say goodbye to the others. Demyx would catch up eventually and Axel wanted to talk to Ansem about making some real progress, he was tired of watching and waiting. It was time to get stuff done.

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Sora was talking in circles the rest of the week and through the weekend, complaining about what had happened with the flies and mysterious black substance. Leon and his associate Cloud were taking a while to get back to Roxas with the results of their tests and the blonde tried not to pester them too much because he knew how busy they were but he couldn't help feeling anxious. He wanted to know, so he could sleep better. His Genetics class was going to prove to be difficult with his disrupted sleep pattern as of late, especially since his lack of sleep usually meant he was extra cranky when he woke up, and Axel's annoying face wasn't going to help matters any.

For the rest of the week and into Monday, Roxas didn't dream. Neither did Sora, but the brunette was relieved. The blonde wanted to know more, to take some notes and get some data out of his make-believe tiger. He wasn't exactly hoping to wake up with slime dripping from his ear, but if it meant it would ease his curious mind he wouldn't fight it. He'd take one for the proverbial team, as it were.

Axel paced back and forth in front of the classroom with his arms behind his back, hair jingling away as he moved. He looked…less happy. He was still dressed as obnoxiously as he could be though, so Roxas knew there couldn't be something catastrophically wrong with him. He was wearing a flat black t-shirt with a coiling white tree silk screened on the front that clung to him mercilessly. His pants were also a little too tight, in Roxas' opinion and it was hard to focus on anything else other than their brightness. They were black and flush with his skin with wide, irregular bands of pink all the way down the legs. He had far too many belts on, having straps of abnormal length hanging from his hips, some of which landed almost to his knees. All of which, were a different color. His shoes were blue, of all colors. Not even a dark almost black kind of blue but a bright sky blue with rainbow laces. His bands and bracelets and rings were the same as were his earrings but he wasn't wearing any glasses today, instead he opted for a prismatic bandanna that held his ridiculous hair at bay. Roxas' brain twitched at the overstimulation pouring into his eyes.

"What if I was to tell you that two men could have a biological child?" Axel asked abruptly with a very serious tone. "Would you believe me?" All of the faces in the classroom were confused. There were even less today; Roxas being one of five. The blonde rolled his eyes at the accusation and decided he was going to be the only one to argue with the man and his monstrous proposition.

"And what makes you think that's possible? Where exactly would the child grow from? Someone's colon?" Roxas barked and there were a couple giggles. "Because I believe that's call taking an enormous shit, not childbirth." Axel stopped pacing and quirked a brow at him with a plain smile.

"I'm talking about a child having genes from two males. Not necessarily a man giving birth. That's preposterous, though I encourage the freaky train of thought. That's where new discoveries come from."

"Right, splice two sperm together and stick the ovum in the ground, waiting for the child to roll out of a giant flower like a pixie," the blonde shot back.

"Well why not? Okay I'll explain my meaning. It's a basic fact at this point to understand that each human has forty-six chromosomes that make them up, yes? Twenty-two from each parent to determine genes and traits and one more from each to determine gender."

"Right," Roxas agreed.

"Well let's say Brad Pitt and Nicholas Cage want to have a child together. You take a sperm from Mr. Pitt and one from Mr. Cage and you pick twenty two traits from each, and then you throw that together. Then you pick a gender using just those sperm as well, since males determine the gender regardless, right? You have extra pairs of everything so there would be enough there to create a child from it, theoretically. Does that sound plausible?"

"Plausible until you get to the part where the child actually has to have somewhere to grow, yes."

"Well I'm sure if by the time we started splicing together same sex offspring they would've created a synthetic egg for it to sit in as well as a nice tube or something for it to grow in, wouldn't you say? Not exactly a flower for it to sit in, though the notion is rather cute."

"It sounds like a one way street to me. Women don't have the proper chromosomes to create anything other than more women, if you go by your logic."

"That's true, very good reasoning. But there are statistically higher amounts of sperm donors than there are egg donors. So I'm sure someone somewhere has a few swimmers they're willing to part with to give a couple of female lovers a little boy if they so choose. If you follow that notion, it balances itself out since the women would just use their own wombs to carry the child rather than anything synthetic. The women would pay for the sperm and the men would pay for the womb if you want to get economical about it."

"Does this have anything to do with our lecture today?" the blonde asked. He was a little disgusted by the conversation though he couldn't help but agree that it was an intriguing thought process. Axel had some weird ideas, to be sure and Roxas doubted any of them would come to term in his lifetime so he wanted to stop veering off the beaten path so to speak and get on with the class.

"It has nothing to do with the lecture, but it got you to stop staring daggers at me and scowling," Axel said happily and smiled at him. The few other people that were in the room were whispering amongst themselves, the two remaining girls letting out a giggle. Roxas glared at the small group though they weren't paying attention to him anymore. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, still feeling the effects of his restless nights of curiosity. Axel waited to see if there were anymore comments before beginning the class and Roxas extended his arm out on his table and laid his head on his bicep, holding his pen above his notebook in his other hand, ready to take notes.

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

There was a crashing thud and Roxas jolted upright in his seat, blinking out of his daze. There at the other end of the table, was Axel with his arms folded on the top of his back pack, looking at the blonde with a peaceful smile. Roxas looked around the room, everyone was gone.

"Gooood morning," Axel drawled. "You slept through my entire lecture, I'll have you know."

"Holy shit, really?" the blonde asked, feeling the sleep in his voice and knowing it was true. He looked down at his notebook and found the page to be blank save for a line his pen had made when it fell out of his hand in his slumber. The blonde groaned and let his forehead fall forward and clunk onto the tabletop. "Damn it," he said to himself. He usually didn't fall asleep in classes he cared about. This one made it worse because he missed an entire day's worth of information and he would have to rely on his book to help him get through it.

"I would have woken you up, but that isn't in my job description I'm sorry to say. If it gives you any peace of mind, you didn't snore."

"Thanks," the blonde groaned, his voice muffling against the tabletop.

"Did you read chapter three?"

"I did, but I was counting on the lecture to clear some things up."

"You're welcome to come on the bus with me back to my apartment and I'll regurgitate the lecture for you again if you want, but we can't stay here much longer because there's another class using this hall in fifteen minutes."

"We can't just go to the library?" Roxas asked, almost whining.

"I'm afraid I'm expecting a phone call in about a half an hour at my abode so I can't stay. If today is no good, we can schedule another time." The blonde sighed, thinking about his schedule. This was his last class on Mondays, which was nice because his day ended at four, giving him ample time to do homework. He could spare an evening though, for the sake of catching up. He ran a hand through his hair, contemplating. He would have to call Sora and make sure the younger sibling didn't spaz and think he was abducted or anything.

"Today is fine, I just need to call my brother," Roxas said grumpily and started to shove his books back into his messenger bag. He hefted the satchel over his shoulder and stood, patting his pockets, making sure he had his wallet and keys before digging out his cell phone and dialing Sora. Once the brunette picked up, he explained where he was going.

"Oh, well okay. If I let on where you're going Kairi might end up as a stowaway under the bus, but I'll keep her away," Sora said jokingly and Roxas snorted.

"Alright, I'll see you later tonight. Try and get to bed early," he said.

"Yeah yeah, mom. Have a grand ol' time with your most favoritest guy ever, okay?"

"Shut up, Sora," he said with a light sneer and hung up on him. He was going to Axel's simply for academic purposes, and was determined to not let anything get to him and get in the way of that. Remembering what he had heard from the girls gossiping about the house made it seem less daunting. A plain and normal place to study sounded nice, even if it included a rather statuesque freak sitting in another chair nearby. At the very least it would distract him from his impatience concerning flies and other unmentionable things. The blonde did notice that there were never any flies buzzing around inside the Academic building, only outside and in the housing. He didn't know what to think about that, weather it was general uncleanliness or the Academic building being a natural fly deterrent somehow.

"Ready?" Axel asked and Roxas begrudgingly nodded. He was hoping this would be quick and he could go back to his room and get some proper sleep.

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

On a corner lot, next to a staggeringly high cliff, on a sleepy street in Radiant Garden, there was a cute little triplex painted a soft baby blue with white trim work and a picket fence. The flower beds out front were well kept and neat, with tulips and daisies, cosmos, and primroses creating an array of natural color on the well manicured front lawn. It didn't have much yard space, which was a shame, but it was cute all the same. Roxas could see the clear separation of the three levels, outlined outside by their own separate balconies and doors. Definitely a triplex.

They entered through the side door which lead straight into a landing with a staircase going up and one going down into what Roxas could see was a basement/laundry facility. Up one flight of stairs and there was another landing, leading to a door and another set of stairs. Up the second flight and there was more of the same. Axel lived in the middle unit, but Roxas was sure that if they went up another flight of stairs they would be faced with another door, but not much else.

When he entered, he was greeted by a simple kitchen. Complete with all the appliances one would want including the added bonus of a dishwasher. It was bright and airy, painted an off white which complimented the cream cabinets and white appliances well. There was another doorway to his immediate right that lead straight into a bathroom, or one could go left or right in a small hallway and reach an office or another door, which Roxas assumed was the locked bedroom. Through the kitchen, in the other direction was a dining room and through the dining room was the main living area with a door that led out front onto the balcony. Axel dropped his bag on a beige couch in the living area and bypassed Roxas, heading back into the kitchen. The blonde took a moment to look around and realized that the place was absolutely boring. It had hardly any color, any excitement, any… anything. Not at all what he was expecting.

"Do you like coffee?" Axel called from a room away.

"I could use some, yes, that'd be great," Roxas said as politely as he could. He was still a little annoyed with himself for falling asleep in class and having to come here in the first place, but he wouldn't turn down a free cup of the brew. There was shuffling around in the kitchen as Axel got everything together and was setting up the machine. There was a knock on the door.

"It's open," he heard Axel say and the knob turned.

"Axel, I found a package for you in front of my door," a gentle voice said, which Roxas recognized. The blonde poked his head into the kitchen and found Mr. Shimizu handing Axel a small brown box. The ethereal man saw him and smiled softly. "Oh hello again," he said.

"Hello. I didn't know you lived here," Roxas said, blatantly lying. He was happy with his deduction skills, though confirming the address with Sora's syllabus helped a great deal, though no one else needed to know that.

"My name is Riku, by the way, I do indeed have your brother in my class. Sora, right?"

"Right, I'm Roxas."

"Hello Roxas," Riku said kindly. He gave them both a small wave before leaving quietly. Axel eyed the box carefully before stepping through the kitchen and digging his keys from his pocket. He unlocked the bedroom door, threw the box inside and locked it again.

"Riku lives in the unit below here," Axel said, as if it mattered any to the blonde. The coffee machine puttered away as a steady stream of brown leaked into the pot below. "Why don't you go through the book and find specific things to ask me, my phone call should be coming soon so I don't want to interrupt anything," he said. He opened an overhead cabinet, pulling out two mugs and setting them aside next to the coffee maker. "Do you like cream or sugar?" he asked and Roxas shook his head. "Alright, help yourself when it's finished if I don—" he was interrupted by the phone ringing from somewhere distant. He smiled before heading back through the other doorway and unlocking the bedroom again and stepping inside. Roxas heard the door click locked behind him.

The blonde looked around the kitchen at odds with what to do. Part of him wanted to go snooping through Axel's things and see why he was so weird, but he knew better than that. He wasn't raised by wolves; he had some manners. The bedroom door though, was piquing his interest. He tip toed into the tiny hall and leaned towards the door, listening against his better judgment. He could hear Axel talking quietly, though he couldn't understand what he was saying. He didn't want to lean on the door itself, fearing he wouldn't be able to recognize when the man would open it next and get caught so he left it at that. At least Axel wasn't lying when he said he had a phone call to take. The blonde stood in the kitchen and listened to the last gurgle of the coffee drop into the pot before he took a mug and poured himself some, heading back into the living room with it.

As he set the mug on the coffee table, he snorted when he realized which mug he had taken. There was a joyful looking Piglet from Winnie the Pooh printed on the white porcelain. Axel was quite a fan apparently. The blonde was about to dig around for his Genetics textbook when there was thud from overhead, and he startled. The light fixture in the dining room shook a little as Roxas could hear yelling from up above. He couldn't tell who it was from, but they were definitely both male and quite angry with one another. He quirked a brow as the fight continued for a few minutes. There was silence for a brief moment before there was another thud followed by a breathless moan of pleasure. Roxas snorted and blushed, fearing he was hearing things he shouldn't be hearing.

He could hear a door somewhere in Axel's unit open and close before another door opened and a pair of legs stomped up the stairs. Apparently Axel was heading upstairs to do something about the noise. There was a bang of a door smacking into a wall a few moments later and Roxas could hear Axel yelling much louder than the other two and quite clearly.

"Damn it you two stop it! I have a student downstairs!" he heard his teacher scream, sounding genuinely angry, which was something Roxas had never heard from the man before. There was a muttering of apologies from the other pair of voices and another bang of the door being shut and Axel clattering back down the stairs. His door slammed shut and the bedroom door opened and closed again as he went back to what he was doing. The blonde was thoroughly confused, but it wasn't any of his business and he tried to focus on his book, doing as he was told and finding the specific things he was having trouble with. Once that was finished, he waited quietly and patiently. There was conversation coming from upstairs now, but nothing else embarrassing or out of place. Roxas dug his phone out of his pocket and clicked the button for the clock to illuminate. It showed that he had been waiting for over thirty minutes for Axel to finish his call.

Just when he thought he couldn't wait any more, he heard the bedroom door open and close again as Axel made his way to the coffee maker and poured himself a mug, and headed into the living room. Roxas was surprised to find that he had removed everything from himself except for the things from his hair, earrings, and his shirt and pants. All the belts, the rings, bracelets, the bandanna, and the shoes were missing. He looked…less freaky. He still jingled with movement because of his hair but he looked a little more normal without so many things weighing him down.

"I'm sorry about my upstairs neighbors, and for having such a long call," Axel said and sat on the couch next to the blonde, taking a sip of his coffee. The blonde noticed he had a Tigger cup and almost made another snort, but stopped himself.

"Is everything okay up there?" Roxas asked; he was curious. He had never had a light fixture shake around because of an impact from the floor above before.

"Yeah, only one guy lives up there but his partner and he butt heads a lot and end up fighting sometimes. They're fine though, it's normal," his professor said simply with a light smile that made it seem like he knew more than what he was saying. Roxas didn't feel it was any of his business even though he definitely wanted to be nosy.

"So long as there isn't a need for an ambulance…" the blonde trailed and Axel chuckled into his mug, a confident and velvety sound from low in his throat. Roxas held his book out and began to ask the professor questions, pulling up his notebook and taking a few notes as he answered. It took another two hours for the blonde to be brought up to speed and for Axel to reiterate the information he had said in class. The blonde was surprised when he realized how comfortable the setting was. Axel wasn't overbearing, didn't deviate from the material, and wasn't hovering. He was just as happy, and smiled just as much as he normally did but it felt less disturbing after sitting around by themselves. It also helped that he didn't have twenty pounds of unnecessary accessories and colors to distract and piss off Roxas to no end. Two mugs of coffee and a bathroom break later, the blonde was satisfied.

"Did you want to look through chapter four and get ahead?" Axel offered and the blonde considered it. It was already going on seven o'clock but Roxas didn't really need to get to sleep until much later in order to feel prepared for his next day of classes even if he was already so tired. His stomach didn't give him a chance to answer before letting out a loud gurgle and they both froze at the sound, staring blankly ahead of themselves before their eyes slid together and Roxas blushed a few shades darker while Axel's lips parted into a wide grin and he started to laugh. "Well that answers that! I'll go make something for us to eat if you want to stay," the man offered with the grin persisting. Roxas eyed his teeth for the third occasion. The laughing slowly ceased and Axel gave him a puzzled look. Roxas blinked and looked away, realizing that he had been staring. "Is there a problem?" Axel asked calmly with a light smile playing on his lips.

"No," the blonde said and even to him it didn't sound genuine. Axel raised a slender red brow at him.

"You sure?"

"Yes?"

"If you're uncomfortable you don't need to stay. I would prefer that you didn't stay if you felt that way because I don't want to make myself seem untrustworthy and deter you from asking for help in the future."

"I'm fine I just—are you sure you've never had dental work done?"

"Roxas, if I had, it would've had to have been done in my sleep because I don't recall ever doing anything aside from having them cleaned. What's wrong with them?"

"They're… pointy."

"Yes, omnivorous creatures have sharp front teeth to rip and tear meat and flesh while the back molars are used to grind grains and vegetation. It aids in digestion considerably when you chew your food correctly."

"No I mean, like you almost have fangs," the blonde insisted, ignoring his urge to bite his tongue and be polite. This was bothering him too much for it to be normal.

"Oh. I see. You're not the first to tell me that actually," Axel said without a hint of offense in his voice. He even smiled. There was another resounding thud from up above that shook the light fixture, and they both startled. More yelling ensued and the professor sighed, rubbing his forehead, smile fading quickly. The screaming became more heated before there was abrupt silence. Another thud. The silence lasted for a few more minutes before there was heavy panting against the floor directly above their heads. "Oh good lord, I'll be right back," Axel said quickly and stood before stomping through his home, towards the door that lead upstairs.

Roxas had the visual of two men beating themselves senseless in a fight before having a staring standoff and suddenly crushing themselves together in a fit of passion and falling to the floor. He pursed his lips and willed the noises above him to disappear before it went further and they started to make real noises. He could hear Axel's heavy footsteps clearly again and the moaning was just starting as there was a banging on the door. He could hear Axel's angry voice again but it was deeper, sterner sounding this time and Roxas couldn't understand him even though it was clear he was talking. He was speaking in gibberish, another language, one Roxas couldn't understand or recognize. The blonde was confused. The yelling from his professor continued for a moment as did the panting and pleasurable noises and the blonde deduced that he was either stuck outside another door or they were ignoring him. Either way, he wanted it to stop.

Roxas stood from the couch and headed into the kitchen to stand around and wait for Axel to come back, giving him the signal that it was okay to sit on the couch again. He could hear Axel yelling still, in his foreign tongue through the open door that led to the staircase but it didn't sound like he was making any progress. Suddenly there were softer footsteps coming up the stairs and Roxas looked around the door frame to see Riku come onto the landing. He smiled a gentle smile at the blonde before making his way up the stairs to join in the fray. From the landing, Roxas could hear Axel clearly still but he was followed up by Riku's calm voice in the same gibberish. They were stuck on the landing outside the door that led into the next unit above. Roxas was startled.

The reason that he was so shocked wasn't because Axel's neighbors were having a heated humping match upstairs, but that he could hear his professor so clearly from across the apartment. It was as if the man had been standing directly next to him and yelling when Roxas was on the couch before, instead of stuck on the landing across the way and up a flight of stairs. His voice should have been muffled to some degree, shouldn't it? This was too weird for Roxas and he was fed up with the man giving him weird vibes.

He stomped up the stairs, with a glare in his brow and Axel's yelling stopped as he turned to see Roxas behind him, giving the student a look of shock. Riku was a little shocked as well but it wasn't so obvious on his passive face. Roxas huffed, he didn't care about their student/teacher relationship anymore; he wanted answers. He shoved his finger the man's face.

"What the fuck is up with you!?" he yelled. Axel raised a brow at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked calmly. Riku looked between the two with concern laced in his eyes.

"You have weird ass teeth, weird ass neighbors, and a weird ass voice that sounds like a megaphone, you're not normal," Roxas insisted. His mind started to race as his sleep deprived state started to catch up with him and he started to unravel and fall apart. "You don't even have a damn car, or a fucking laptop, you couldn't take your call on a cell phone because I bet you don't have one of those either, and that, along with all the other weird and freakish things you do just piss me off to no end!" he yelled. Axel startled and stared at him with wide eyes. Riku's lips parted in a slight gape.

"What? Where is all this coming from?" Axel asked and Roxas let out a loud exasperated groan.

"From the first time I saw you, everything you've done has made my blood boil. The way you dress, your weird ass hair, the way you talk, how much you fucking smile, your weird teeth, all the stupid shit you wear on your arms, your tattoos, those fucking flies, and the black shit, and not sleeping and not being able to concentrate, the tiger, the running, the meadow, the forest, the fur, the touching, the dreams, and all the other dumbass shit I've put up with over the last three weeks," Roxas blurted, panting some with the run-on list of things that had been bothering him. Axel raised a brow at him and glanced at Riku, who shrugged some.

"What part of all that pertained to me, again?" the professor asked in a confused tone. Roxas looked at him for a moment before sighing and rubbing his face. He realized he had just blamed the man for a bunch of things that had nothing to do with him as well as a bunch of petty stupid things that shouldn't matter. He already had this discussion with his friends, he didn't need to have it again but now he felt like a complete asshole for letting himself get worked up over nothing. Literally, nothing. He blamed the lack of sleep but even then, the excuse was lacking substance.

"I-I'm sorry. I haven't gotten much sleep lately and I'm feeling a little off my rocker," the blonde said, looking down at his feet and feeling completely embarrassed by his random outburst.

"That's fine. Everyone has those days," Axel said calmly. "Did you want to leave? Maybe get to bed early and catch up on that sleep?" Roxas nodded.

"I really sho—" he was cut off as the door behind Axel leading into the upstairs unit flew open and a very angry looking and topless Leon was standing in the doorway, talking quickly in the nonsensical language Roxas couldn't understand. Riku, Axel, and the blonde froze for a moment before Axel ground his teeth between tense jaws and turned slowly to face the Biologist. The silence was deafening and Leon soon realized why everyone was so quiet as his eyes landed on Roxas, the blonde staring at him in shock.

"Oh…" Leon said and took a step back, before closing the door again quickly. Riku cleared his throat and turned away, quietly making his way down the steps again. Axel heaved a heavy sigh.

"You didn't see that," the man said calmly but Roxas' eyes were fixed on the door.

"O-okay…" he stuttered.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Axel sighed, feeling completely dejected as he browsed the Catalogue. His tongue flicked the cord coming from his Link idly as he turned the knob looking through his choices. He only had three. Most everyone else had hundreds but he only had three. All of them seemed nice enough, though. They were healthy, intelligent, determined, and a projected good fit for him. The only problem was the shortest wait for him would be seventy-five years, seventy if he was lucky. He hugged his knees to his chest, balancing his heels on the edge of his seat and stared at his choices.

There were two females and one male. All of their statistics were normal, none of them were overly exciting but the females were incredibly plain to him. They were generic, boring and void of much in ways of personality. Their peaks would be when they were in the mid twenties and their downfalls would follow another ten years after that or so. The male however, seemed a little different. His peak and downfall time were almost parallel with one another. He would screw up somewhere in his timeline so drastically during the height of his life that it would ruin the rest of his days and Axel wasn't sure how he felt about that. If he were to choose this male, this relatively short, blonde haired blue eyed male, he would have to wait the longest and have the shortest amount of time to make contact.

If he were to wait the full eighty-three years for this male, what were the benefits? His personality profile was extensive, fraught with bouts of sudden bursts of anger and easy annoyance; a firecracker kind of type. One big burst of exciting energy that quickly dwindled after the initial pop. He was however, extremely loyal to his family and friends. On the other hand, he was extremely intolerant of change and tended to push things away in order to keep his line of normalcy in tact. Then again he's relatively easy to please once someone can push through. He has a dedication to learning and knowledge, too. That's a useful trait. Axel scrolled down the page of information to find why his downfall was so quick to come.

"Oh my…" Axel said to himself once he figured it out. This male screwed up big time and his entire dynamic changed afterward. He ruins his school career, his ties to his family, he has to find a dead end job that he hates to support himself, and none of his ambitions come true. All of the work he puts in, all of the energy he expends, is wasted on one night of idiocy. Fifteen minutes if Axel wanted to get specific about it.

"Did you find one?" Demyx asked suddenly, making Axel startle some. The sandy blonde leaned over the back of his chair and peered into the Catalogue screen. "Wow! He's shorter than Zexion!"

"I know but look at his P&D," Axel said in reference to the male's peak and downfall timeline. Demyx took a moment to look it over and he whistled.

"Way to fuck your life, kid," his friend muttered. He squinted at the screen further and gasped. "Eighty-three years! I'd pick one of the other ones, Axel. That's too long a wait."

"The only other ones I have are at least seventy-five, so what's another eight years at that point?" Axel asked grumpily. A piece of colorless hair fell in front of his eye and he stuck his bottom lip out, blowing it away with a huff of air.

"Yeah but the kid is a little screwed don't you think? I mean you'd only have less than three months to make contact once his peak hits. That's cutting it close and by that time, the other two candidates would be long gone. Did you want to risk it?"

"He's way more exciting than the females and if I have to wait forever, may as well wait for the best, right? How long was your wait for Zexion?"

"Twenty-two years. But more candidates may pop up as the years go by did you really want to solidify this with only three choices? You can't go back, you know."

"I need to move forward, Demyx. I'm stuck in limbo at this point, and the way I see it, I don't have any other choice. If I don't take this now, what happens if another one doesn't come by? What if all I ever get are three choices? From what Ansem said, most everyone comes with a bunch right off the bat so what if this is all I get? I have to. I need to. I have to make a choice now, so I can move forward and prepare myself for him."

"You'll have more than enough time, Axel. Especially if you pick this one," Demyx said, voice dropping low to show his sincerity. He reached a hand forward and patted Axel's hair. "You should probably consult Leon if you're unsure though. What's this kid's time limit?"

"A week."

"Ah well, let's go find Leon. He and Cloud should be arguing somewhere close by," Demyx said and grinned. Axel nodded and exited out of the Catalogue and disconnected his Link before standing and stretching wide. They exited the lab together and wandered the halls, asking for Leon until they finally got a clue that he was out in the field with the rest of his kind.

"Why did Leon choose Cloud if all they do is yell at each other?" Axel asked.

"Well Cloud's profile was pretty short to begin with and Leon thought that because he was in the military that he would be able to follow orders without much complaint. But Cloud was young when Leon made contact and as he got older, their personalities clashed something terrible. Once Cloud went into stasis, it pretty much sealed the deal and they're stuck together now."

"Oh."

"But they love each other, I'm sure. They fight, but it's normal for them."

"Do you fight with Zexion?"

"Not really, no. The only thing he yells at me for is to put clothes on when we leave the room," Demyx giggled and grinned at his friend. Axel's mouth twitched into a smirk. They pushed open the doors into the field and Axel took a deep breath to inhale the smell of fresh grass. Cloud was sitting off to the side, watching the wide open area out front as an entire pride of lions lazed around on the earth. Leon had a big family, the biggest family of their little group, and just so happened to be the biggest male of his kind as well. Axel could see him pull his hulking frame from the ground and begin to pad his way over to where he and Demyx had exited. Cloud looked behind him at the pair and waved a little.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hi," Demyx and Axel said in tandem.

"Don't look so excited," Demyx teased and Cloud shrugged.

"Leon's a pretty boring guy and the family just lies around with him. I would've preferred to watch them chase something but whatever," the Charge said and waved a hand dismissively. It took Leon a while to meander his way across the expanse of land and when he finally reached them he plopped himself next to his Charge and stretched out lazily. His russet colored mane reached to the middle of his back and it rustled up in the sudden breeze as he flicked his tail idly, sniffing the air. Axel liked Riku's tail better. It was fluffier and longer and had a better pattern, but that's not what he had come here for so he dismissed the train of thought. "What did you guys want?" Cloud asked.

"We wanted to talk to Leon about something and get his opinion, but we can come back," Axel said.

"Hang on," Cloud said and stood from his chair before patting his pockets. He stuck one hand in and pulled out a small earpiece that was attached to a long thin cord. He sat in front of his Carrier and poked him in the nose. The cat snorted angrily and smacked at him. Cloud smacked him back. "Just fucking open up," the man insisted and Leon hesitated before pulling his jaws open. Cloud reached in his mouth and connected the cord to the cat's Link and pushed the earpiece on his ear. "Go ahead and ask what you need," Cloud said after everything was settled.

"Axel doesn't have many choices in Charges. He was wondering if taking the most interesting of the bunch with the longest wait time was smart. The kid's P&D is like… miniscule but Axel feels it's worth the risk because he's so different than his other two choices. I think he should pick another one or wait personally, but I suggested we find another opinion first," Demyx blurted before Axel could say anything. He glared at his friend for being so pushy. Axel could hear sounds coming from the earpiece as Leon answered. The cat himself was paying attention to the group in the field though so it was a little awkward to think that he actually was paying attention while not looking at them.

"He says that it's really Axel's decision and that he has as much time as he needs to make a choice anyway, and even if this one passes him by there will be more in the future. If he wants to use his time to risk getting the one he wants, he should do so," Cloud said, listening to Leon's words through the earpiece. "And now he's going on about how terrible I am so I'm going to cut it off there," he grumbled and yanked on a tuft of Leon's mane, garnering a low growl in response. He tried to pry Leon's mouth open to disconnect the Link between them but the cat wouldn't give him any headway. Cloud settled for simply taking out the earpiece and letting the device dangle from the lion's maw by the cord.

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Roxas was running again. He didn't want to be running. Once he registered that he could slow himself he did so down to a jog before eventually slowing to a stroll. He knew he didn't have anything to fear by this point and stood around in the meadow, waiting and looking around for his feline dream companion. In the distance, there was a squawk and a chicken fluttered into the air a few feet above the grass before a giant arm swung up and snatched it from the air, pulling it down again.

Roxas raised a brow and made his way towards the source of the commotion and eventually made it to a small patch in the meadow where the grass had been smoothed down to make a clearing. The tiger was there, with its face in a pile of feathers. The chicken was still alive though and trying to kick away from the beast at a frantic pace. The cat noticed him and let the bird go in favor of walking to the blonde and depositing itself on the ground before him. This is the first time Roxas had seen the tiger from a standing position and the angle he could see from made it seem like the beast was bigger than he previously thought. It had to be nearly ten feet long from nose to tail.

Roxas wondered why the landscape hadn't changed. The meadow was nice but the cat looked more natural in the tropical environment. He also preferred the daytime environment of the forest rather than the darkness of the grass; he couldn't see the tiger as well. Regardless, this was the hand he was dealt so he took a seat next to the beast. The tiger immediately tucked its head around and rolled onto its back some, one front foot and one back foot sticking up in the air with its face upside down. The blonde smiled and laid a hand on its ribcage, feeling it breathe under his palm.

There was a movement out the corner of Roxas' eye caused by the tiger's tail and his attention diverted downward towards it. Without meaning to, he noticed that the tiger was very much a male. Roxas blinked. He hadn't even thought of checking the gender before. He looked back at the face and noticed that the beast was watching him. It was an uncomfortable feeling knowing he was just caught checking the genitals of another life but at the same time, isn't that what zookeepers did? It's not like Roxas had anything different anatomy wise except for maybe the packaging, so why did he feel so embarrassed? Thankfully the tiger switched around modestly and positioned itself properly on its stomach, resuming the casual posture it had in the previous dream.

Roxas decided to stay away from the tiger's lower half and went back to its front. He sat by the beast's face again and felt a paw. He could feel the joints of the appendage under his fingertips shift around as the cat flexed its enormous claws into the grass underneath it. The blonde's heart sped up with the view. He was suddenly reminded that if the cat decided to, it could rip him to shreds like he was a piece of paper. He was thankful it was so docile. It pushed its face forward and took a deep sniff against his chest. Roxas half expected it to lick him or take a bite, but it didn't and he smiled.

Suddenly, their moment of peace was interrupted by a bright light shining in the distance followed by the ground shaking. It took a moment but a thunderous shockwave blew over them that shook Roxas' internal organs it was so violent. The tiger was on its feet quickly and looking towards the city in the distance. It took a moment but Roxas was able to stagger to his feet and see what it could see. The city in the distance had been obliterated in a cloud of smoke billowing up into the sky. The blonde's heart skipped a beat with the sight. He didn't have any attachment to the city but it still hurt to see it essentially vaporized. The tiger sniffed the air some before looking behind itself at the blonde.

The fading light of whatever destroyed the city bounced off the tiger's irises, showing a gleaming bright green underneath heavy lids. Roxas couldn't help but think they looked a little familiar even if he couldn't figure out why. The eyes were sad, and it sent a pang through Roxas' heart to see the animal so depressed again. It looked to the city then back to Roxas without any change in demeanor, giving the blonde the impression it was attached to the city somehow. Like it was missing the buildings already and wanted them to come back.

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

When Roxas awoke this time around, he felt a tear slide down his face and he blinked before wiping it away quickly. He sat up and checked his ear and sure enough there was the black substance again. He clicked on the light and found a single fly lying dead next to his pillow and he sighed. He hadn't really wanted to wake up. Not only did he not get enough sleep but he wanted to figure out what was bothering his make-believe tiger friend. It was like every time he had these dreams he was watching a story book unfold and each time the story got more and more interesting, making it hard for him to stay away. He wondered if Sora was having the same problem.

He padded to the bathroom again and went about the routine of cleaning out his ear, still curious as to what he was cleaning out. It had been several days since he had gone to Axel's triplex and he hadn't spoken to Leon again. He was a little afraid to. It would be horribly awkward at this point. Not that Roxas had any problem with gay people but the fact that he could hear Leon's romp with his partner and could attach the activity to him personally, made it a little weird. Roxas wondered if he should bypass Leon and go right to Cloud instead of waiting for the blonde Chemist to get back to Leon then back to Roxas. Cut out the middle man so to speak.

This was only the third dream he's had with this tiger and already he was feeling a little attached to it. He didn't understand why other than the fact that it was an interesting and a unique situation, but the more he thought about it the angrier he got with himself for feeling the way he did. He was being irrational. Who get's attached to their dreams? Not Roxas, that's for sure. He wouldn't let himself. He didn't want to turn into the kind of person that writes the books that claim to know the meaning behind everything in dreams; a whacko that was losing touch with reality and the things that really mattered, like personal success and living your dreams. Roxas wouldn't have any of that. The tiger was nice, but it wasn't real.

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Monday again. The fourth week. Roxas' class had dwindled from a decent size of about a dozen people to just one. Just him. He and Axel, the guy he had blamed a bunch of nonsense on and totally made an ass of himself in front of. The guy that had control of his grades and his future and who probably thought he was insane for blowing up on him. Fan-fucking-tastic.

To make matters worse, Roxas was running late. Literally running, but was also tardy. He panted as he sped down the hall as quickly as he could almost passing by the door to his lecture hall. His sneakers squeaked against the floor as he stopped and turned into the room. Axel was reclined back in the chair behind the desk with his feet resting on the desktop, with half of his body shielded by an open newspaper. Roxas tried to catch his breath and take his seat calmly without feeling too embarrassed by his tardiness or his actions the previous week.

From what he could see, Axel was wearing a pair of plain blue jeans and a pair of white sneakers. His hands were void of anything sparkly as they held the newspaper in front of him and Roxas was a little unsettled by the lackluster impression he was getting from the man. Once the blonde took his seat the newspaper folded closed and Roxas nearly choked on his tongue. Axel… had dyed his hair. It was black and was missing every piece of glass, every bell, every bead and every piece of shiny something or other that it once had. In addition to this he somehow hid the tattoos from under his eyes and took out all of his piercings and was missing all of his bands and bracelets. He wore a plain white t-shirt under a light brown collared button down shirt that hung open. His eyes were also different. He had taken out his colored contacts to show his eyes were actually a light hazel.

"Thank you for showing up, let's begin," Axel said calmly and without a smile. He stood from his seat and smoothed down his shirt before digging around in his book bag for a marker for the white board. Roxas was completely stunned. He gaped at the professor and Axel looked at him briefly and saw that he wasn't moving. "Come on, take out your notebook. We have a lot to cover today."

"What happened?" the blonde asked. He honestly had no problem with the way Axel looked that day but the man seemed far less happy to be there without all his shiny things and what's-it's. He looked…normal, but Roxas wasn't expecting normal.

"What do you mean?"

"You look completely different."

"Well I simply removed everything that was bothering you. I don't want to cause any strife between us Roxas, I really don't. It's not my job as your educator to distract you and prevent you from doing as much as you can to succeed. So, I took your little confession last week seriously and went about changing myself to suit you and to ensure your success. As you can see, we're the only ones left in this class, and if we can't be compatible in some miniscule way, then it probably won't be a very good experience for you. The only things I can't change are my teeth, and for that I apologize."

"W—but…" Roxas sputtered. He felt his shoulders get heavy under the tremendous amount of guilt he was suddenly overcome with. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I'm just a student, why should it matter what you look like to me? I've felt like a complete dick the last week simply because I totally embarrassed myself with my pettiness and I can't believe you took it to such an extreme. I mean… thanks for taking your job seriously and everything but I didn't really mean half the stuff I said. I was just really tired and too much stuff was happening and I couldn't process it all."

"So… what are you telling me? You already apologized once before."

"I just… I don't know. You're allowed to be yourself. Don't accommodate me," Roxas said quietly. Axel's expression was placid and he watched the student for a long moment, making the blonde fidget in his seat a bit.

"Is there something additional going on that I should be concerned about? Should I request a councilor for you from the Administration?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well you look like you're about to fall apart," Axel said calmly, giving him an incredulous eye.

"I'm really tired."

"Are you going to fall asleep again? Should I even bother with the lecture?"

"No—maybe… I have no idea," Roxas groaned and held his face in his hands for a moment, rubbing his cheeks and trying to wake himself up. He wasn't just tired. The longer he looked at his teacher, the guiltier he felt for causing such an upset. At that very moment, he didn't want to be anywhere near Axel. The sudden change was too much for him to deal with. But he was stuck there because he needed this class. The conflict of interest was a lot to deal with. Axel pulled the chair from behind the desk and swung it around to sit across from the blonde at his table. The man plunked into the seat and gave him a concerned face. Even his eyebrows were a different color, Roxas noticed and it only made his chest hurt more.

"Tell me what your problems are," Axel said. The blonde looked at him, taking in the sincerity in his voice and expression. "I'm not exactly a professional for this sort of thing but you obviously have something that's bothering you that goes beyond just me. What were you saying about flies, black shit and tigers?"

"Oh…" Roxas faded. He had forgotten about that part. While it's true that he actually enjoyed his dreams, he was still deeply concerned about the other details surrounding them regardless of how much he tried to push the uncertainty away and hold up a strong front. He was expecting Cloud and Leon to get back to him within a few days, not weeks and the length of time he spent wallowing in the uneasiness was wearing on him. He hesitated, looking at Axel with sheepish eyes and waiting for the man to brush him off, but he was patient and waited until Roxas spoke again. When the blonde did speak, it was quiet and reserved, scared almost. He relayed the entire thing to the man; from the beginning to the most recent leaving out a few details he didn't need to know like Sora's involvement and checking the tiger's gender. Axel listened with a blank face through the entire tale and didn't give Roxas any indication that he thought he was insane. After he finished, Axel took a moment to think.

"Do you believe in parallel universes?" the professor blurted. Roxas raised a brow to the question.

"Not really, why? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Oh not a whole lot, really, I was just wondering," Axel said with a smile. "You don't believe the idea that there could be a whole entire universe running right next to this one? You think this is the only one?"

"Well I mean there could be, but then again there could also be little green men on Mars for all we know. I'm not a very inventive person as far as weird theories go and I tend to not to believe in stuff I can't see or prove, but it's entirely possible I suppose. What does this have to do with my problems?"

"What if there was a parallel universe where people were the flies and the flies were the people? Don't you think that'd be interesting? Do you think that the flies would mind people shitting in their ears and giving them dreams?" Axel asked cheerfully. Roxas took a moment to pull a visual together and he laughed.

"I'm sure they would, I know I do. You don't think I'm crazed?"

"Not at all. Why would I think that?"

"Well I mean… it sounds completely asinine to me. Especially the dreams. The fact that they're probably caused by fly shit is pretty farfetched."

"If that's what you have found and have seen so far, why is it so farfetched? It's obviously happening to you so why question the validity?"

"I don't know, it's just hard to believe."

"Hard and impossible are two different things."

"True, but I still don't like it."

"Do you enjoy the dreams?"

"I do, they're interesting enough to where they don't prevent me from falling asleep initially but they make me wake up at weird hours and then I have problems sleeping."

"Well you can try ear plugs though you may want to turn up the volume on your alarm if you do that," Axel offered. Roxas smirked.

"I guess I could. It's really a double edged sword for me. I hate the flies and what they do but I like the dreams enough to put up the risk."

"It's almost sounding like it's a drug addiction. Hate the side effects but love the feeling?"

"Almost, yeah."

"Have you considered seeing someone?"

"Not really."

"Did you want me to call a councilor?"

"No, I'll be fine. I feel better about it already. Thanks," the blonde said with a light smile. He really did feel better talking to someone who didn't spaz on him like Sora did. He loved his brother but it was difficult to talk to him about serious things sometimes because he tended to either get side tracked, or freak out.

"Well if that's all, we should probably start class now, wouldn't you say?"

"One question?"

"Sure."

"Are you wearing make-up? You know, to cover up the tattoos?"

"Nope. I just turned them off," Axel said simply with a smile.

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Roxas pulled the door to his room shut behind him with a soft click. Sora was sitting at his desk typing away at his laptop and stopped to look at him.

"Hey, the mail room dropped a package off for you," the brunette said.

"Really? I didn't order anything," Roxas said. He looked on his bed and sure enough, there was a brown box sitting on it.

"It's from the Chemistry lab," Sora said. "Probably that guy getting back to you about the black stuff and flies." Roxas was instantly excited and dropped his books to rip open the packaging. It took him a moment to get the tape apart but once he was able to pull open the flaps of cardboard and look inside he was stunned. Inside there was a resin square with a bunch of black dots, a magnifying glass, and a huge stack of papers as well as the film canisters. There was a note on top of everything and Roxas unfolded it and started reading.

_Roxas,_

_Enclosed are your samples as well as our findings. Most of the flies you provided me were normal house flies, and only one was different. It took me almost a week to pull everything out of the insect but I encased all that I found in resin for you to look at with the magnifying glass I provided. What I found was quite suspicious because even though the fly looked harmless, inside it were the workings of what I can only assume was a camera. Cloud identified everything that was foreign in the black material you provided us and it basically amounted to a synthetic lubricant laced with hallucinogens the likes of which we have never seen before. You do what you wish with the results but they are what they are, and feel free to ask for help from anyone in the department in the future._

_Leon_

Roxas' hands started to shake as he stared at the words and read them over and over. A camera? Like a video camera? He threw the note inside and pulled out the thin square of clear resin and the magnifying glass. He clicked on his lamp and held the brick over the light, looking at it closely. In the corner there was a regular house fly for a comparison, but across its glossy surface were pieces and parts of things he had never seen before. Tiny wires, a tiny lens, a gear, as well as a splattering of other parts Roxas couldn't understand graced its surface and his heart sunk. Someone had been watching him and giving him hallucinogenic materials though his ears?

"What the fuck?" Roxas yelled and Sora startled.

"What? What are you fucking?"

"One of the flies was a camera!"

"No way! Like in the movies?" the brunette stared at him with disbelief. Roxas reached over and pulled on his shirt sleeve and his brother got out of the chair. He handed the magnifying glass over to him and Sora took a look. "Holy fuck, dude. How many other flies were cameras?"

"Just this one out of the five or whatever I gave him. I don't know how many we've smashed were cameras though. There could've been hundreds for all we know."

"How long do you think they've been there?"

"I don't know, but it's always just us, remember? It could've been years, Sora!"

"Oh my god pedophiles!" Sora cried. "We should call the police!"

"Yeah, but what are they going to do? The only one we have is dissected into a million pieces, how are they going to trace a signal or something?" Roxas asked and Sora's face drooped.

"Well what about the ones that you keep brushing into the garbage can after your dreams?"

"I don't know, I'd have to take them to Leon. Have you been dreaming at all?"

"Only a couple."

"Have you found any bugs afterward?"

"Yeah they should be in the garbage too. But god Roxas! That's so creepy! I'm not going to be able to sleep anymore. I'm not sure I even want to know what the black shit is."

"Hang on let me check, Leon said it was a synthetic lubricant with hallucinogens in it, but let me see if I can understand anything in these papers Cloud sent," Roxas said and clicked off the light and set the magnifying glass and resin block aside before delving his hands into the box again. He hefted a huge stack of papers out and groaned at the amount of information it contained. He knew nothing about this sort of thing. He had a basic understanding of molecular structures and he knew his periodic table but he didn't deal with synthetic compounds. He looked through the papers just long enough for his eyes to cross. It was hopeless; he didn't get it. "Maybe if we send this to the police they'll find someone who knows what they're doing."

"We can try."

"Leon didn't say if he could tell the difference between the regular flies and the cameras based on appearance. I wonder if he can identify them without dissecting them."

"That'd be a problem. Or he can pull one apart for the police. Like with them watching so they don't think he's throwing shit in there just to fuck with them. You don't think he's just messing with you, do you?"

"I hope not. This is serious and he didn't seem like a joking kind of guy. He was sort of bland, really."

"Sounds like a science-y guy. You're all boring," Sora said and Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Focus, Sora."

"Right, right."

"This is assuming Leon would take the time to do this stuff. We can't exactly pay him or anything for his time. I'm grateful for him even doing this much and I feel bad asking for more. Although he did say in his note to feel free to ask…" Roxas trailed, considering what he should do.

"So okay wait, these dreams are some sort of drug trip?" Sora asked after a moment of consideration. Roxas shrugged.

"It appears so," he said. He looked at the papers in his hands again for a moment before shuffling them back together in their pile and putting everything back in the box. He flopped back onto his bed with a sigh, letting the information sink in. "Why us?"

"I have no idea. Maybe we did something horrible in a past life or something. We didn't exactly do much in high school to get us noticed any so I can't think of what we did recently."

"I really wish I knew how long all this has been going on. The watching part that is; the dreams are new."

"What if mom and dad hired someone to keep an eye on us while we were in school?"

"Why would they give us drugs?"

"To dick with us?"

"That's stupid, Sora."

"Well it's possible."

"Anything is, apparently. I'm starting to learn that." Roxas sighed and rubbed his eyebrows. "Let's go to the drug store."

"Why…?"

"To get some ear plugs."

"Good idea!"

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"I wonder if they're really ribbed for her pleasure or they're ribbed to feel like the inside of a cheese grater like I heard they are," Sora said and turned over a box of condoms in his hands. Roxas sighed with exasperation and snatched the box from his brother before slamming it back on the shelf. God forbid the store keep the ear care products away from the family planning section, didn't they know Sora has sporadic ADD problems?

"Roxas?" a familiar voice called and Roxas turned to see who it was before nearly choking on his tongue again. Axel was coming down the aisle looking as he always did, this is to say, not like he had three hours ago. His hair was no longer black but it's previous shade of obnoxious red and his tattoos were under his eyes again as was the chartreuse of his irises. He had put all of his piercings back in, but his hair was still missing its dangly do-dads and he didn't have any bracelets or rings on. His clothes were the same as earlier though.

"Doesn't all that hair dye ruin your hair?" the blonde blurted before he had a chance to stop himself. Axel laughed.

"Who said I dye my hair?"

"Well it was black three hours ago."

"Ah well, have you ever heard the phrase 'to assume makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'?"

"Well how else would you have done it?" the blonde barked, getting annoyed. Sora giggled at them.

"I'm Sora," he said and offered his hand for the man to shake. Axel took it with a smile.

"I'm a friend of Mr. Shimizu's and I'm also Roxas' Genetics professor. Call me Axel."

"Neat!" the brunette said and grinned.

"Taking my advice?" the man asked eyeing how Roxas was inspecting a box of ear plugs. The blonde nodded.

"Leon and Cloud found some weird things out and now we're both freaked. We're going to give Leon a few more samples to check before taking this to the police."

"That's a good idea," Axel agreed. "I wish you luck, and tell me how it goes. I have to get some things so I'll be on my way," he said. "Nice meeting you, Sora."

"You too, bye!" Sora said, waving at the man as he rounded the corner into the next aisle. Axel waved back just as he was about to disappear and the two were left to themselves. Roxas was immediately suspicious about what Axel had said about his hair. That, in addition to the comment about turning his tattoos 'off' made for a weird combination of thoughts that he couldn't even begin to understand. He shrugged it off for the moment and decided to pay attention to the more important matters like the flies and the black drug. The ear plugs should keep anything new from happening.

He hoped.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Wheee!" Demyx squealed as he spun the dial and watched a prismatic display rush through Axel's follicles. Axel sighed. Demyx was enjoying this more than he was. They were in a lab, one of the labs that was open anyway since they were abundant, and trying to find a color for Axel's hair and eyes. The colorless loner sat in another chair, idly letting his tongue play with the chord that came from his Link. He shouldn't have let Demyx play with the dial and have free reign over the Catalogue.

That Catalogue itself was a large computer setup with a wide monitor made of a special type of glass that was incredibly hard to break since its users tended to be abnormally strong. It was attached to a tabletop-like area and supported with metal beams to prevent breakage. The keyboard/control panel was simply a piece of the special glass that changed functions according to what the Carrier, Charge, or Technician using it wanted to do. The program that ran the Catalogue could do a plethora of things from looking up information, to downloading new programs for the Carriers to use, to choosing Charges, or modifying the Carrier's body, such as what Axel and Demyx were doing now. They could only change the things that pertained to superficial aspects of the body such as eye color, hair color, fingernail length, the amount of hair they had on their bodies, and other details. If they wanted to get extensive and for instance become taller, they would have to get a Technician involved and that was a huge undertaking which was often times not worth it so it was rarely done.

A Carrier, in this case Axel, would have to connect to the Catalogue by way of his Link to modify the things specific to him, otherwise they couldn't do much but browse the options. Demyx, being as excitable as he was, was having a grand time shifting Axel's colors around and making the loner's hair shine like the Aurora Borealis. For sixty three years Axel sat around and studied humans and did research to prepare himself as well as he could for meeting his Charge in twenty years. For sixty-three years, he was completely colorless outside of his skin tone. Demyx was more than happy to help rectify the problem since he knew his friend could be incredibly indecisive over such trifling details. Axel decided that sixty-three years was long enough, and soon he would be able to watch his Charge grow up so he figured he should get used to having color in his life.

"Will you just pick one?" Axel groaned as Demyx spun the dial some more, watching him with glittering eyes and a doofy grin.

"Did you want to go for a run after this?"

"Not really…" Axel sighed. He had his Signet and was able to change at will now, but he seldom did. He didn't like his Primal very much.

"Why not?" Demyx asked curiously, stopping the dial and flicking carefully through the red prism. "Don't tell me you're still beating yourself up. I happen to think you're very pretty, Axel. You know that."

"I know, I just don't like it very much. At least when there's a group of your kind running around it looks a little more natural and it's easier to adjust."

"Well work on finding your Charge and you can make a bunch of kittens together. How do you think Riku feels? He's the only one of his kind too, and he's almost a hundred years older than you."

"I can never tell what he's thinking."

"I know what he thinks when he's running with us, he's thinking 'can't get my tail dirty so I'll carry it around in my mouth and look stupid,'" Demyx huffed and Axel smiled. Riku had a habit of carrying his tail in his mouth to prevent it from not only getting dirty, but to cover up his back end. While most Primals didn't care about having their tail in the air and exposing themselves to anyone who cared to look, Riku tended to have a strange air of modesty about him and often hid himself behind his tail. It also helped that the appendage was longer than his body was and he could carry it around easily without having to actually turn his spine any. Axel's tail was too skinny to do much to hide himself if he cared too, but Riku's was hugely thick and fluffy and provided adequate coverage. Axel liked Riku's tail.

"I don't think I look stupid," Riku said and Axel and Demyx both let out a surprised yelp, turning quickly to see their friend came through the laboratory door. Riku smiled a little, "I happen to think I look very cute."

"I think it's stupid," Demyx grumped and clicked another notch up on the red prism, looking Axel over carefully.

"Well you can think what you want," Riku dismissed.

"Why do we have to worry so much about what we look like anyway?" Axel huffed.

"It's all for the Charges," Riku said. "If you can't please them you can't get anything from them. It's as simple as that. You want your program to be a success, don't you?"

"Yeah…" Axel trailed, pulling a piece of hair around to look at. "Demyx this color is awful," he said, squinting at the red.

"Too bad!" Demyx cried with a grin and hit a button to confirm his choice. "You can change it around later if you hate it so much. I like it though."

"Whatever," the other huffed and let the piece fall over his shoulder again.

"Interesting," Riku added. "I think it'll grow on you. You're the only one with that sort of color anyway."

"What about Reno?" Axel asked and raised a newly crimson brow.

"Reno's food, he doesn't count. You're not supposed to make friends with your food, Axel," Demyx chided. Axel shrugged.

"He's not really my friend, I just know about him. I've never actually met him before."

"Oh well okay good. You had me worried for a minute there."

"Anyway, I wanted to show you something, Axel," Riku interjected. The loner looked at him and Riku walked to another Catalogue terminal and pulled a Link cable from the pocket of his beige shorts before connecting to the machine. Axel peered over at the screen, unable to disconnect from his own terminal since Demyx was still fooling around. Riku poked around on the keyboard for a moment and went into his Charge choice list. "This is my next choice," Riku said, pulling the screen out showing a picture of a brunette male that looked suspiciously similar to Axel's Charge.

"He looks lik—"

"They're brothers," Riku cut him off. "Hopefully, since I'm choosing a male this time around, he won't die in stasis." Axel winced a little. He knew Riku had lost three Charges before this one came around. Women tended to have a harder time adjusting to the change in environment and the amount of estrogen some of them produced made the stasis process difficult to implement. Not only that, but they were usually easily wooed by Riku's looks and never really fully understood what they were getting themselves into when they decided to join him and the culture shock usually sent them over the edge. Riku had lost two of his Charges to stasis, and one by suicide. Wooing men, especially men who had no interest in other men was a lot harder to do but often reaped the best rewards. They would fully understand the process they were volunteering for and often the connection was a little deeper because they were going against their original nature to be with the Carrier. Problems only arose when the Carriers didn't have enough time to get the Charges to understand. This was an obstacle Axel would face with his own. His timeframe of getting his Charge to come with him was very small.

* * *

"Right, but mom—no. No I don't," Roxas rubbed his eyebrow and listen to his mother chew him out on the other line. He was getting impatient with her trying to shove her morals and ideals into his face. He agreed with most of them, but the fact that he didn't abide by _all_ of them pissed his mother off to no end. "Right, well I'll be on the train to Hell soon then—bu—no." He sighed and held the receiver away from his face, listening to his mother's voice pick up as she got angrier. "You know what? Call me back when you decide to let me be twenty instead of four, alright?" he barked and slammed the phone back on its cradle, making Sora jump.

"Church again?" his brother asked and Roxas nodded. The phone started to ring as he was sure his mother was calling back and he groaned. Sora giggled at him and picked up. "Mommy?" he asked. "Don't be pushy," he said and hung up on her again. Roxas laughed.

"You're lucky she doesn't come over here and try to ground you."

"She's all talk, you know," Sora insisted and waved his hand at the phone, effectively shooing the annoying conversation away. Their parents were religious. Sora simply didn't like going to church but usually went if his parents asked. Roxas on the other hand, rejected it outright. Catholicism to him was just another form of mythology and myths were not real. It was illogical and based on stories and conjecture. Religion in general was like this, so Roxas didn't see the point in using his time to pursue it. Every now and again though, one of his parents would call him up and insist that he join them for mass on Sunday. He would then argue with them, his mother would sometimes cry, and then they'd go back to their own business. It was a big deal for them, but Roxas didn't care. Once he had turned eighteen and was a legal adult, he had made his choice and was sticking by it.

Roxas' and Sora's earplugs were working so far. Neither of them had had any dreams or woken up to find any black goo or dead flies for the last week. Living flies though, were still a constant. After a week of living with the idea that any of the insects around the campus could be cameras for someone's sick games, they were coming to terms with it and the shock was starting to fade. Neither of them felt entirely comfortable with the idea but at least they could forget about it if they were distracted enough. Roxas couldn't speak for his brother but the blonde could honestly say that he was feeling better since being able to sleep on a regular basis.

* * *

Monday again. The fifth week. Roxas was having a test in his Genetics class, which was comical to him simply because the environment was so boring and empty with just him. He wondered what happened to all the other people in his class. He'd have to ask when he was finished. Axel had brought an enormous book with him to class to study while Roxas filled out his test and the teacher sat up front calmly, reading away. He was wearing bright orange pants with a black shirt and shoes. His hair was still red and he still had his tattoos and piercings but he kept the rest of everything else to a minimum. The only thing that jingled was the charm in his hair that hung from the woven tail behind his ear. Roxas was thankful he kept the optical overstimulation relatively muted but he still hated that he was the cause of it, especially over something so stupid. In the middle of his test, the blonde heard a low growl coming from somewhere in the room and his pencil froze.

"What was _that_?" Roxas asked a little fearfully and Axel's forehead fell forward some and he snorted.

"Sorry, that was my stomach; I was hoping you hadn't heard that."

"Wow, that was _really_ loud. When was the last time you ate anything?"

"It's been a while, I should probably get some dinner after we're finished today," the man said with a wide smile as he turned a page. Roxas smirked a little but continued on with his test. He worked for a while longer but then became stuck on a question. He couldn't pick out what it was asking exactly as the wording was a little muddled.

"Uhm, okay for number thirty-six? What do you want from me exactly?" Roxas asked. Axel stood and came around the desk and put one hand on the back of Roxas' chair and one on the table, leaning over him to see the test. Suddenly there was a smell in the air that flew up Roxas' nose like a bullet. It wasn't a bad smell, he actually sort of liked it but he couldn't figure out just what it smelled like specifically. It wasn't any sort of cologne he had ever smelled before, and it wasn't a distinct scent like a type of flower or something, it was very generalized but also striking enough that he would notice it right away. Roxas turned his face and looked Axel over. It was obviously coming from him. Apparently he had been staring because he saw the teacher's chest shake as he chuckled. Roxas looked up at his face and saw that the man was watching him gawk at his chest like an idiot.

"Is there something on my shirt?" the teacher asked and stood straight, pulling the fabric out and looking it over. It took a moment for Roxas' train of thought to come back and he shook his head.

"No, sorry. I sort of zoned out there for a minute," the blonde said quickly. Was he _really_ staring at Axel for so long?

"Ah, well the answer for number thirty-six is 'C' just so you know."

"Wh—just like that?"

"Do you not trust me?"

"I have no reason not to, I just didn't think you'd… just give me the answer."

"Well I was tempted to respond to the 'What do you want from me?' question with a 'Your immortal soul' answer but I didn't think that would be appropriate. If you don't trust that I know my own test then go ahead and write down 'Axel can have my immortal soul,' instead of 'C' but I'll let you decide that for yourself." Roxas laughed. "I understand your confusion with the question though, it's my fault for the weird wording so just go ahead and fill it in."

"Oh…okay," Roxas said with a smile. Axel smiled back.

"You look better, the earplugs working?"

"Yeah. I've caught up on a lot of sleep," Roxas said with a nod. He still couldn't get the smell out the back of his nose and the longer the man stood around him, the more intoxicating it was becoming. "Can I ask you something really random?"

"Sure, those are my favorite types of questions."

"Are you wearing some kind of cologne or something?" the blonde asked sheepishly. He didn't want to come off as sort of freak who was snorting the air around the man but he had to know. Axel smiled and shook his head a little.

"No, I'm not. Cologne makes my nose itch; can't stand it. Why? Do I smell like I am?"

"Uhm…no. I can't really tell."

"Ah well I did go out and purchase a pheromone laced soap so maybe that's it," Axel added with a light grin. Roxas laughed.

"Okay, if you insist," he said, dismissing the joke right along with the idea of Axel turning his tattoos 'off' and changing the color of his hair without dye. Apparently the man liked to make strange comments about himself and Roxas was starting to find the humor behind them. He turned back to his test and Axel left him to it, quietly turning back to his desk and resuming his studies. It took Roxas another hour to finish his test and there was still time left in the class and he took the opportunity to ask some questions about the material, and other things. "So can I know why all the other people dropped this class?" he asked and Axel shrugged.

"All I know is that they withdrew. Some of them transferred to other schools but outside of that, I have no idea. Apparently I smell weird," he said with a smile, giving the blonde a raised brow. Roxas smirked.

"It isn't weird, it's just… different. It's not bad; it's just nothing I've ever smelled before."

"I see. I'm glad I didn't scare you off then. I'd be out of a job if that happened."

* * *

"So are you being less of a bitch?" Hayner asked and Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I guess. He's not terrible. He's less weird now that the rest of the class left," the blonde said and took another swig of his beer.

"Or maybe you're just growing up a little," Hayner jabbed and nursed his own beverage. "So what's he like now that the bitchfest is over?"

"He's…normal? He still dresses funny to some degree but he isn't really all that strange. He does have a weird sense of humor though," the younger blonde said, ignoring the older's comment.

"Cool. Hey, did you want to come to the club this Friday? Olette's going to be there," he said and made his eyebrows dance a little. Olette was to Roxas, as Kairi was to Sora. The long time female friend that Roxas really wanted to date. He had stopped his advances after they had graduated high school though, seeing as how he had been trying for quite some time to get out of the 'friend zone' and was going nowhere. They still talked but they didn't really hang out together much anymore, which was a shame because Roxas had really liked her. He was always up for a second chance though.

"Sure, we haven't done anything social in a while. I feel like a hermit."

"I hear you on that," Hayner agreed.

* * *

This was bad. Roxas couldn't wake up and he knew he had to. He knew he had remembered his earplugs so why was he sitting in front of the tiger again? He had no idea and he wasn't happy about it. The tiger was sitting in front of him with something dangling from its lips and the blonde glared at it, angry that he was even there to begin with.

They were in the forest again, the area Roxas had preferred. The two of them watched each other for a moment before the blonde sighed, resolving himself to his fate. He couldn't wake up, so why fight it? He knelt in front of the animal and rubbed its face affectionately before picking up what it was holding in its jaws. It looked like an ear piece with a chord leading into the tiger's mouth. He held the little device in his hand and gave the cat a confused look. The animal watched him for a moment before opening its mouth as wide as it could and Roxas gaped at what he could see.

What he thought was a crown on the tiger's back tooth was actually nothing of the sort. The chord that came from the earpiece trailed up into its mouth and was connected to the silver tooth by way of a tiny plug. There was a little green light shining out of the side of the tooth as well. It was a computer. Now Roxas was even more confused but the animal closed its mouth carefully and used its snout to shove the blonde's hand. The blonde registered quickly and stuck the device in his ear. There was a brief silence.

" _Hello, Roxas_ ," was all he could hear through the device. The tiger, was _talking_ to him. He yelped and ripped the thing from his ear and backed away. He panted, holding his chest as his heart raced because not only was the cat _talking_ to him, it sounded exactly like _Axel_. His eyes were wide and he stared at the tiger in disbelief. He finally understood what the tiger's eyes reminded him of. Axel's eyes. This cat, this beast, was Axel.

The tiger made no move to come near him; instead it laid out flat onto the underbrush and looked away, ducking its head timidly like it had done their first dream together and Roxas had the opportunity to calm himself. He caught his breath and let his nerves settle before pulling himself around to look at the animal but giving it a wide birth, just in case. The ear piece dangled uselessly from its jaws and it refused to make eye contact. It almost looked like it was ashamed of itself.

"A-Axel?" Roxas sputtered and the tiger looked at him with melancholic eyes. The blonde rubbed his head; he didn't know what to make of this. The tiger hadn't hurt him before and it didn't look like it was looking to change that, so he took a few steps closer and sat in front of it again. The cat watched his movements carefully. With shaking fingers, Roxas replaced the ear piece in his ear and he heard a sigh.

" _Thank you for not rejecting me,_ " Axel's voice echoed in his ear. The tension in the tiger's shoulders eased some and it relaxed back, resuming a casual position. Roxas looked at its face with total mayhem flying through his mind, mouth agape. He had absolutely no idea what was going on and couldn't even begin to make any sense of it. Chartreuse eyes focused on him and the voice continued. " _You weren't supposed to accept Hayner's invitation to the club so readily; you've shortened our time together considerably and I'm sorry but I have to make my move soon or risk losing you completely."_

"What…?" Roxas trailed confusedly, before he could ask anything else, Axel continued.

" _You want to master the human genome and solve the world's genetic problems, right? I can help you with that, but you have to trust me. You said today in class that you have no reason not to trust me, so why wait?_ "

"Wh—I—n…What?" the blonde sputtered. "What's going on? I'm extremely confused."

" _I need you. If you trust me and want to pursue a greater knowledge, come to my home, otherwise I can't help you and you'll ruin your life for good. You have until the end of the week to come to me, but if you decide against it and go out with Hayner, I cannot guarantee that you'll be happy with the result. I'll be waiting._ "

* * *

Roxas shot up from his pillow and started to gag. He felt something try to slide its way down the back of his throat and he coughed against it until he felt something hard on his tongue. He spat it into his hand and reached over to click on the light. He let out a scream and immediately felt the urge to vomit. He dove off his bed and into the bathroom with just enough time to pull his face over the toilet bowl and empty the contents of his stomach. He was horrified of what came out of him.

Floating around in the bowl in a sea of black were hundreds of dead flies. Roxas panted as his heart started to race and he looked at the one he had coughed up into his hand. His vision started to blur and his limbs started to shake. He pushed himself away from the toilet until his back met the wall and he sat, trying to grasp what was happening. He remembered his dream vividly and he didn't know how to take it. Part of him wanted to storm over to Axel's and demand an explanation but at the same time he knew it was merely a dream.

A dream that was caused by black drugs and house flies that were actually cameras. The drugs and cameras were real, there was no doubt about that but Roxas couldn't wrap his mind around anything else. None of it was real. It wasn't possible. Even as Roxas continued to tell himself that, just mere moments after he had woken up from his latest dream, he couldn't convince himself. The weird inconsistencies that surrounded his Genetics professor coupled with the dreams, made it feel like he was missing something. Something huge.

He was about to swallow a puddle of saliva that had pooled in his mouth but he remembered what it was probably laced with and spat it into the toilet before flushing it. Everything disappeared, leaving no trace behind. He went to the sink and could see that his teeth were coated in a black film and his stomach twisted. He dug out his toothbrush and tooth paste and started to clean his mouth, just as Sora appeared in the doorway looking groggy.

"Roxas?" the brunette asked sleepily and the blonde ignored him until he was finished brushing his mouth out. He pulled his earplugs out since apparently they were useless at keeping the flies at bay and threw them in the garbage.

"…Yeah?" he asked, sounding haggard and stressed.

"Why are you up? Did you have another dream?"

"Yeah, and I don't know what to make of it," the blonde admitted, running the cold water and splashing some on his face. His hands were shaking and he could feel the sweat coming off of his brow as he washed it away.

"Oh, how's your ear? Did it get in behind the earplug?"

"It went into my mouth instead and invited friends along for the ride," Roxas said, feeling the bile rise again but he pushed it back down.

"…What? That's disgusting," the younger brother said, still half asleep and not fully aware of what the older one had said. Roxas pushed passed him and back into the bedroom. He picked up his cell phone and messenger bag, opening it up and digging around for his folder. It took him another minute of searching but he was able to find the syllabus for his Genetics course and he followed the number on the page, dialing his phone. "It's three thirty in the morning dude, who are you calling?" Sora asked as he made his way back into his bed. Roxas ignored him and listened to the phone ring through the receiver.

"Hello Roxas," Axel's voice sounded over the line and the blonde's skin started to crawl. It was exactly like in his dream and he hated it. The fact that the man's voice didn't sound like he had been sleeping didn't help matters, it just told the blonde that he was waiting for this call which added to the validity to his dream to a certain extent.

"It _was_ you, wasn't it?" the blonde asked, trying his best to not completely break down and get hysterical with his fear.

"Indeed it was. Are you coming over?"

"Fuck you, I'm calling the police," Roxas snapped and Axel let out a low chuckle.

"Do as you like. Will they believe you though or did you want to just skip all the additional mayhem and get down and dirty right away? You can't prove anything but if you come over, I may be persuaded to give you what you want."

"Oh really? And what do I want that a disgusting fuck like you could possibly have to give me?"

"Extensive research facilities that are geared towards your area of study in addition to the mastery of the human genome."

"That's impossible, you have no such things," the blonde scoffed at him. Who was Axel kidding?

"Right and I suppose a talking tiger who knows about your tentative outing with Hayner and Olette this weekend is just as farfetched," Axel shot back and Roxas paled, face going slack with shock. He looked at his phone like it was a foreign object before putting it back up to his ear and hearing Axel's breathing on the other side.

"How did yo—"

"I know everything, Roxas. Those flies were _my_ cameras, just as you surmised. Now, come to my home and we can talk like civil beings or, I can come and get you myself, but I'm losing my patience either way and it took me many many years to get to be the way I am now. So hurry or we'll lose more time," Axel said and there was a click as the line went dead. Roxas' phone slipped from his hand and clattered onto the floor as he stared blankly into the wall. Sora looked at him with concern.

"What's going on?" the brunette asked.

* * *

Axel sighed and rubbed his brows. He wasn't happy with the way things were turning out. Roxas really threw him a curveball by accepting Hayner's invitation so quickly. In reality, it wasn't supposed to happen for another month and a half but desperate times called for desperate measures. He couldn't let Roxas slip away and risk delaying his progress any further. He only hoped the blonde was as stubborn and determined as his profile had made him out to be.

While it was true that Axel had watched Roxas grow up, the human mind was still a fickle thing and the blonde could turn a corner in an instant. If that happened, well Axel didn't really know what he would do. His patience was a learned trait, it wasn't natural for him and this little development wasn't helping his case any. He doubted he would be able to keep his actions in check and would leave to hunt him down. He only hoped that he wouldn't have to. He could always kill Hayner, or even better Olette. Just wipe them both out completely and then he wouldn't have any problems aside from consulting a saddened twenty-something human. Really, Roxas' downfall is caused by Olette but Hayner is the one who brought up the club sooner rather than later so they both needed to go if it came to that.

He sighed again. Now he had to play the waiting game. Whether he was waiting for Roxas or the police, he didn't know. He supposed he could send out another fly to keep an eye on him though. Axel mulled it over for a moment; yeah he could do that. He pushed himself out of his chair and walked though the small hall in his home and unlocked his bedroom door and closed it behind him. Inside, were a Catalogue and a series of cases that held various implements he used to keep the maintenance up on himself and the Catalogue. Inside one of the cases were the cameras, the flies, and he plucked one from the shelf. He opened his window and tossed it outside before taking a seat behind the Catalogue and connecting his Link.

"Go find Roxas," he said quietly and a small window spread across the Catalogue screen as the fly came to life outside and took off. The computerized insects were always a hit and miss as far as performance went. They flew at bullet-like speed until they found their target but god forbid a car got in the way, or a new building sprouted from the earth because then it was bye-bye bug. Their internal memory system provided a layout of the city for them to follow with markers of popular places their targets may be and they usually relied on that to get around but it was difficult to keep them up to date because the area was ever changing. If the mapping system failed though, they turned to genetic sensors to almost smell the target from wherever they may be within a certain distance. Over the years Axel was able to gain Roxas' genetic material for just such a purpose. People were dirty little things like that. Constantly shedding skin and hair like it was nobody's business. Nasty really, but Axel forgave them. He didn't mind.

He drummed his fingertips on his knee, watching the scenery speed by as the fly checked the first place it was told the blonde might be, his dorm. It sneaked in through someone else's open window, down a series of hallways, and under Roxas' door. The blonde was there, and arguing with Sora. Axel clicked the volume up and listened.

"—usting! I can't believe you would even consider going over there, dude. Are you really that messed?" Sora cried and Roxas shook his head.

"I need answers, Sora. He's right, the police will laugh us into next week but he definitely knows what's happening and I need to know. I can't live like this! I'm scared shitless of whatever he was alluding to and I can't just wander around like a chicken with my head cut off and hope it comes to me some day."

"Why? Why now?"

"He said something about Hayner inviting me to the club this weekend, like it was my impending doom for some reason. He said if I went I wouldn't like the result. He knew I was invited in the first place which is enough to scare me because I was invited _after_ class and hadn't talked to him since. So he _has_ to know something that I don't."

"Can't you just be normal for like… a week? Seriously Roxas? You want to go over to some possible homicidal maniac's house just because he told you that he knew you were going to the club and that he somehow knows everything about genetics that you want to know? That's fucked dude, you're weird," Sora said and gave his brother an incredulous eye. Roxas took a breath and looked at his feet. Axel raised a brow at the names Sora was calling him but decided to ignore it.

"I have to go, Sora. I won't be able to sleep or get anything else done until I know what he knows…" Roxas muttered and put a hand to his forehead. "This is more than me just being insane. He said he _needed_ me. That he would take me if I didn't go."

"Call the police! That's a threat!"

"And how would I prove it Sora? By showing them the phone records of _me_ calling _him_? Right. Fantastic defense right there."

"You're being stupid. Stop it, Roxas. I don't want something to happen to you…" Sora pleaded and the blonde took another breath. "You do realize how crazy this is right? You're basing most of this on the idea that he causes the dreams that make you think he's some sort of talking tiger, right?"

"Fuck off Sora the same thing is happening with you and Riku, you know it is," Roxas barked and his brother startled a little.

"Yeah but my teacher didn't admit he has a part in it. But…" the brunette trailed.

"Riku and Axel are in this together, they need us for something don't you get it? I bet Leon is doing it too to someone else. So if we go over there and figure it out maybe we can stop them. Like I said, this goes beyond me just being insane. This is _really_ happening, Sora. Something is going on and we won't have any idea what it is unless we confront them about it. Come with me if you're so scared, we can watch each other's backs, but we need to do it before I _really_ lose my mind," Roxas insisted and started to peel of his pajamas in favor of some regular clothing. Sora looked concerned for another moment and stayed silent even as he started to get dressed as well. Axel turned off the volume and poked at the keyboard of the Catalogue to bring up a line of contact between him and Riku. He would've disconnected the Link and simply went to find him, but that would mean losing contact with the fly. Whatever, he could multi-task. He waited for the other Carrier downstairs to take notice of his call and heard a click before Riku began to speak.

"Axel?" he asked.

"Riku, Sora and Roxas are on their way, get ready."

"How did you manage to pull _that_ one off?"

"Long story short? I broke some rules. But I don't think they're going to go willingly so you need to get ready, like _now_ ," Axel could hear the hesitation in the air as the normally passive man thought it over. Riku sighed.

"Fine."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

When Roxas and Sora pulled up to the triplex in Roxas' tiny white KIA, they were both stunned. The building was wide open to whoever wanted to come in. All of the doors were open and most of the lights were on, as if Axel was expecting them. Which Roxas was sure he was, maybe not Sora but definitely Roxas. Sora grabbed onto the back of his older brother's shirt as they made their way through the side door, keeping an eye open on anything that moved suspiciously. The lights in the basement were off, making it seem more suspicious but what they needed was up a couple flights of stairs.

The blonde's heart was going a mile a minute. He didn't feel safe here anymore and his fight or flight instinct was starting to lean towards the flight option. His logical side was screaming at him, telling him how irrationally stupid he was being but the rest of him was extremely curious. That curiosity was what kept his feet moving, pulling Sora long with him and up the first flight of stairs. Everything was quiet. Roxas hesitated before heading up the second flight and to his dismay, the door to Axel's unit was wide open and said red haired man was standing there, looking at them. Too late to turn back now, they had been seen.

"Come in boys," Axel said calmly with a smile. He left the doorway and went further into the home. Roxas raised a brow and squelched his arguing sensibilities before tugging Sora along with him inside. They left the door open for a quick escape if they needed to. Axel sat on the couch in the living room with Riku who was sitting with his hands folded on his lap. Roxas and Sora remained standing.

"Hello, Sora," Riku said. The brunette ducked behind his brother, garnering a smirk from the man. "Before we start anything, let me be clear that this is all Axel's fault," he said calmly and the other gave him a glare.

"Oh fantastic, just ruin it why don't you?" Axel said grumpily.

"Ruin what, exactly?" Roxas interjected. "There is nothing here but you explaining to me what the fuck is going on."

"Roxas, what do you want most out of your life?" Axel asked suddenly.

"Success," the blonde said without hesitation.

"What if I told you that you'll never have it with the way your life is now?"

"I would call you an asshole and ask you how you're so sure of that. So, asshole, how are you so sure of that?"

"Because I read your profile."

"Okay, I haven't updated my MySpace since I was fifteen," the blonde said. Axel took a moment to let that sink in before bursting into laughter. Riku had a smile as well and Roxas was quickly losing patience. "Fine, I'll play your game 'what profile?'"

"Hold on… hold on…" Axel gasped between his laughs. "That was amazing. Do that again."

"Do what again?" the blonde asked in annoyance.

"Make a joke like that again. That was priceless."

"Do you trust me, Sora?" Riku asked abruptly, paying attention to the tufts of brown peeking out from behind Roxas' shoulder. The hair moved back and fourth as Sora shook his head. "I'm sorry to hear that. Would you help me anyway if I asked for it?" he asked. Sora looked around Roxas and took in the man on the couch and how calm he seemed. Axel was still trying to catch his breath.

"I don't know…" the brunette said quietly and Roxas looked at him over his shoulder.

"Tell us what's going on," the blonde repeated with more force behind his statement.

"We need your help," the men on the couch said in tandem.

"And what makes you think we would help you?" Roxas asked. "As far as I'm aware, neither of you have made a move to be anything but insane so start talking."

"There's too much to say all at once but if I could promise you an endless supply of resources and knowledge while you do what you like to ensure your own success, would you take the offer?" Axel asked, looking composed again. "Or would you rather risk falling flat on your face here?"

"What guarantee do I have that you could even provide such things for me?"

"Because I can show you what I have at my fingertips and you can have the same if you'd be willing to come with me. Every weird statement I said to you in our time together in class actually exists where we come from. Mixed species of creatures, same sex biological children, parallel universes, everything. All of it is real and you can have it too if you wanted, you just have to come with us, both of you."

"You're insane. What twisted country do you come from that the government has told you such outlandish things exist?"

"Not a country. Come on, I can show you what I'm talking about," Axel said and stood. Roxas backed away from him cautiously and the man walked past them quickly, heading back towards the kitchen. Riku didn't move. Roxas hesitated before following after Axel. Sora tried to cling to him still but was brushed off in favor of a new discovery. The brunette went and sat on the couch. Axel had gone into the bedroom, and Roxas peeked around the corner to look in. The computer he saw inside instantly piqued his interest and before he could register what he was doing he was standing beside Axel who was sitting in the chair. The blonde's eyes were focused on the keyboard that wasn't really a keyboard to him but a flat piece of glass with projected picture of buttons on it. The buttons lit up as Axel touched them and the man reached around the side of the terminal and pulled a thin chord around to his face.

He opened his mouth and did something with his fingertip before Roxas could hear a light ' _click_ ' and the terminal came to life with a soft whir. The blonde watched as the monitor lit up with a strange interface the likes of which he had never seen before. His eyes flicked between the screen and Axel who was completely calm with the wire coming from his mouth and the keyboard that lit up under his fingertips. Roxas was fascinated and he hadn't even done anything yet. A prism of several colors appeared on the screen and the glass keyboard blinked before a dial appeared.

"You wanted to know how I could change my hair color without dye, right?" Axel asked around the chord. Roxas blinked. "Here," he said and took Roxas' hand and folded his fingers so his index finger was extended and pressed it into the glass and moved it a little to the left around the dial. Axel's hair shifted from red to a soft yellow and Roxas yelped in surprise, backing away suddenly into a glass case he hadn't even realized was there before. His heart was in his throat and he found it hard to breathe.

"Wh—how?" he sputtered. He had absolutely no idea what was going on but he couldn't lie and say it wasn't interesting.

"Do you believe me yet?" Axel asked calmly. "There is technology out there you can't even conceive and your talents and potential will be wasted if you stay here. That's why you were brought to my attention. Because here, in this place you will fail and become useless, but given the right opportunities, like what I have at my home, you will be able to succeed and be useful. Isn't that what you want?"

"Ho—how can you say that? I haven't even begun to live my life, I'm only twenty!"

"You're just going to have to believe me when I say I know how it ends for you, I'm not allowed to tell you when or how, but if you choose not to believe me, then there isn't anything I can do without putting myself at risk. However, if you come with me, you can know _everything_." Roxas stared at Axel in disbelief, there was so much information coming at him he couldn't process it all, and he had the feeling there was far more to it than what Axel was letting on. Axel watched him have a mental debate with himself before turning his attention back to the terminal. He flicked the dial suddenly and a sudden rush of hundreds of colors flew through his follicles, making Roxas' eyes twitch.

"Stop it, just make it go to whatever your natural color is, you're making my head hurt," the blonde said and rubbed his temples. Axel eyed him for a moment before he sighed and pressed a series of buttons forcing his hair to lose all color completely. It hung lifeless on his shoulders in a platinum white and Roxas was a little shocked. " _That's_ your natural color?"

"Or lack thereof, yes," Axed said and sat back in his seat. Roxas blinked.

"Okay I'm getting side tracked," he huffed, pushing all the new details aside in favor of what he actually went there for. "The cameras are yours. Why and for how long were you watching me?"

"Your entire life, as a study."

"You're sick," the blonde said and felt his stomach lurch. "You said you were only twenty-eight. I assume you're older than that then, like in your forties at least, if you were watching me for the last twenty years."

"I lied, but I can't tell you how old exactly."

"I don't feel so good…" Roxas said and held his stomach. The thought of this man, or whatever he was, having spent the last twenty years watching him made him sick and he couldn't even put a coherent thought process together in order to ask him anything else. His legs felt like jelly and he teetered where he stood. He felt the buildup of saliva in his mouth and he started to make his way to the bathroom. Axel stood from his seat and watched the blonde leave the room with a sigh. This is exactly what he didn't want; Roxas was disgusted with him. He exited from the Catalogue and disconnected his Link before he heard the blonde heaving whatever was in his stomach into the toilet.

Axel bypassed the bathroom and went back into the living room to sit with Riku who had strangely enough, somehow gotten Sora to sit with him in close proximity. Axel was immediately jealous that Riku got the easier Charge to handle but at the same time he knew his friend had a rougher time than he had and Axel had after all, decided to pick the most difficult of his options. Sora looked at him like he was ghost, mouth slightly agape with wide eyes.

"What happened to your hair?" he asked and Riku touched his arm, bringing his attention back to him.

"I'll explain that later. Do you believe me when I say we need yours and Roxas' help?" Riku asked quietly.

"I don't understand," Sora said quietly. "You tell me that you can give me what I want but I have to leave everything behind, what will my parents do?"

"If you leave with us, it'll be like you never existed here. If you want to remember your brother, you two have to come together otherwise once one of you is erased from here, you won't actually be brothers anymore. Does that make sense?" Riku explained. Sora took a moment, but nodded.

"I mean… other than my parents and Kairi I don't have much else here. It's getting to be too much to be around Kairi anymore if she won't even pay attention to me the way I want her to; it hurts. I want acceptance, but I still don't understand how I can be useful to you. I'm not smart like Roxas is. I'm pretty average," the brunette said, sounding a little sad. "I don't really want to hurt my parents, either."

"I understand that. You won't forget them, but they won't remember you if you leave with us and it'll just be like they decided to never have children. They won't feel any sort of grief or anything negative, I promise you."

"What will I be doing exactly?"

"I can't tell you that just yet, you'll just have to trust me when I say it's not going to hurt you and you'll have the freedom to do what you wish outside of the workday."

"Workday?" the brunette asked skeptically. Axel listened to how calm they both sounded and couldn't understand if it was Sora's ability to be open minded and cheerful about things or Riku's demeanor. Either way, it was working out far better than what he was going through with Roxas so far. In response to Sora's question, Riku nodded lightly.

"Yes. You and I will work together."

"Just us?"

"Unfortunately I don't have the privilege of having any more of my kind just yet, so yes, just us. Is that okay?"

"Will I be able to like…say no if I decide I don't like it?"

"You can refuse, but I don't think you'll want to once you understand. You are a person after all, a life, and you have rights. You can do what you wish, but once you leave here, you cannot come back. That's the only trade-off," Riku said and the uncertainty was obvious in Sora's eyes. There was a long pause of awkward silence as he contemplated. They could hear the toilet flush in the back of the unit and a moment later, Roxas came into the living room looking pale and none too happy.

"Come on Sora, we're leaving," the blonde said and Sora hesitated.

"I… don't think I want to, Roxas," he said. "I might just go with them."

"What! You can't be serious! After how you called me stupid and fucked for just wanting to come here for answers, you're going to go with them!" Roxas, yelled. Axel stood off to the side with his arms crossed, watching the back and fourth.

"You don't want to?" Sora asked.

"Of course not! These sick fucks watched us our entire lives! Every aspect, I bet. Including the moments in the shower and in the bathroom, probably the times you thought you were alone…" Roxas trailed; pitch heightening to emphasize his point. "It's twisted and disgusting. What makes you think they'll treat you right? For that matter what about Kairi and our parents?"

"Kairi is a lost cause at this point, Roxas. I don't even want to think about her anymore, it hurts me too much. Mom and Dad won't even realize we're gone, says Riku, and I know they won't hurt me because if they had wanted to do that, they would've done it by now, don't you think? If they wanted us for some weird torture thing or something, they wouldn't have bothered to ask us, they would've just taken us. I don't understand everything behind it but I feel like they really do need our help, Roxas. I've never had someone ask _me_ for _my_ help before. They barely know me and they're already accepting me just as I am, and that means a lot to me…" the brunette said and looked at the carpet, shuffling his foot some in nervousness. Roxas balked at him.

"Are you even listening to what you're saying! Just because someone treats you nice initially, doesn't mean they can be trusted. Are you really _that_ unsatisfied with yourself that you'll take the easy way out and just follow whoever can dangle an appealing story in front of you?"

"Maybe I am unsatisfied. Have you ever thought about that? That maybe, I'm not like you who can just turn off human relations and give everything the cold shoulder when it isn't working out for you. You're able to focus on the specifics and not let the bigger things blindside you into getting side tracked from your goals. I can't, I take everything in as a whole, and while I don't understand _their_ world, I might be able to have a second chance and make things right with myself if I start in a new environment. I might be able to make myself into something useful for once instead of being 'Roxas' little brother, the second best.'"

"So now you're going to turn this into a power struggle? You're forgetting that these _freaks_ are unnatural and probably going to turn you into an experiment for their sick games."

"Who says we're playing games?" Axel asked suddenly and Roxas looked at him. "This is serious for us, Roxas. We have a mission to attend to and if your brother wants to be a part of that, who the fuck are you to tell him otherwise? If he leaves without you, you won't be brothers anymore. He'll be gone from your life and you can go ahead and continue on your merry selfish way and fuck it over for yourself, like I know you're going to. I don't want you to fuck yourself over. I need you, but if you're going to get stuck on the details and ignore the bigger picture, then that's your choice. I can't stop you."

"You won't tell me the bigger picture!" Roxas screamed, "how can I focus on the bigger picture if you won't tell me anything?"

"I just told you the bigger picture Roxas!" Sora yelled back, drawing his attention away from Axel. "The bigger picture for me is feeling acceptance and that I have a purpose. My happiness!"

"You don't have any proof they're going to stick to their word!" the blonde yelled back.

"Proof proof proof! Fuck your damn proof! This is just like the issues you have with going to Church. You won't believe in anything you can't fucking see! Well you know what? I can! Sometimes you just have to trust people and have faith without having hard evidence."

"I already gave him evidence of what we have," Axel said and flicked his colorless hair. "But he still refuses to believe me. We can't tell you everything right now Roxas because if you do choose to stay here, then the information we give you will cause you more problems. We don't want to disrupt your life like that, but if you come with us, we can explain everything and the chaos will stop. Otherwise, we can end it here and take Sora with us. He'll have what you can't, there are no second chances."

"Why does it have to be right now?" Roxas asked his anger deflating as he turned inward on himself emotionally. The confusion he felt, though still rampaging through his mind, was wearing on him quickly and he was starting to shut down. He wanted to go back to bed, to forget any of this happened, but if what they were saying was true he didn't know what to do. If he said no, and gave up on the prospect of having such an opportunity, then what would he have? He would go back to his college life, not have a brother anymore, but have a normal life. The biggest problem would be the constant nagging in the back of his mind of what he gave up.

"Time is the simplest answer, and we don't have that luxury here," Axel said, sounding completely emotionless and blank. "If Sora leaves without you, you'll remember everything that's occurred here tonight but all the details pertaining to Sora will leave you and you'll be an only child. If you come with us, both of you will be erased from here and no one will be any wiser but you'll have each other on the other side."

"I still have so many questions…" the blonde trailed.

"And you can ask them, but we probably won't be able to answer half of them if we're here," Axel said.

"What about my parents and friends?" Roxas asked and the man shrugged.

"You'll be erased from here, and they won't remember you. They won't feel any grief or loss."

"Are there more people where you guys come from?"

"Tons. Half of which are just like you and Sora, pulled from their environments to become successes and help our missions take off."

"There are others?" Sora asked, looking curious. "And like… we'll be able to talk to them?"

"Of course, why wouldn't you?" Riku asked and the brunette shrugged.

"I guess I just assumed when you said 'just you and me' it was literally, only you and me."

"Working together, yes. But there's a whole bunch of other people you can be with," Riku said and gave him a kind smile. Sora seemed to brighten a little after hearing that and his brother gave him a leery look. He had a sinking suspicion this was turning out like an 'everyone's doing it so you should too!' scenario. He weighed his options.

He could say 'fuck off' and go back to bed and lose Sora, even if he won't know he lost Sora so essentially he'll just be normal again. That was option one. The other option was that he could completely disrupt his life for a possibly outstanding opportunity that in the same breath could also be something completely different and ruin his life forever. That was option two. The last option was that he could take what everyone was saying to heart, open his mind a little, and go into this with a sort of blind faith in the hopes that Axel and Riku don't rip him to shreds in the process and come out of it happier, healthier and brimming with the success he had always dreamed of. That was option three.

He liked option three but didn't think he could go into it so openly just in case his suspicions were correct and they _did_ end up ripping him to shreds. He was curious, so very curious. The emotional aspect of essentially losing all ties to his parents and friends wasn't even a factor in his thinking, that's how curious he was. Sora was willing to go just by hearing a nice story and Roxas didn't know if he was amazed at his brother's ability to have faith in other people of if he was just that dense. Either way, he didn't want to lose Sora. If he didn't go with him, he would. His brother would vaporize and even though he would be none the wiser about it, he didn't even want to think about it now. He made compromise with himself. Option two point five, as it were. Go with them to keep Sora, and possibly ruin his life or make an amazing one. He didn't like it, but so long as his brother would be there with him, he could deal. He took a deep breath and gave Axel a suspicious glare out of the corners of his eyes.

"What do I have to do?" he muttered quietly. There was something akin to shock in Axel's face. He stuttered for a minute.

"Wh—you're coming?" he asked.

"If Sora is, I will too…"

"Really!" Sora asked, his voice cracking with his excitement. He jumped from the couch and threw himself on Roxas, squeezing the life from him. "You do love me!"

"Yeah yeah, I hate you sometimes," Roxas grumbled under his collapsing ribcage. Sora laughed.

"Maybe just a little, but that's healthy right?'

"Yeah," Roxas said with a hardly existent smirk. Axel nodded to Riku with a smile and they both made their ways further into the unit. The brothers were left to themselves for barely a minute before Axel returned holding two sets of identical outfits.

"You both need to change into these," he said and set them on the dining room table. "Inorganic clothing won't pass through and unless you don't care to show up naked on the other side, I suggest you put them on because I can bet all of your clothing contains polyester," he left them with a smile. Somewhere deeper in the triplex there was a loud thud that came from below and a loud mechanical whir. The brothers exchanged looks warily.

"That sounded bad," Sora said and Roxas shrugged.

"This is your idea, let's hope we don't die," he said, picking up a very boring looking beige t-shirt. It was the same shade of beige as the rest of Axel's home, Roxas noted. Wherever they were going suddenly seemed incredibly drab if this was their idea of home décor and clothing. Then again, Axel himself didn't dress like someone from that place, so maybe there was a little hope.

"Riku said that the last thing he wants is for me to die," Sora said idly as he pulled on his new shirt.

"Well Axel didn't give me any indication he cared weather or not I survive this, so at least we know one of us mildly secure," Roxas muttered angrily and slipped into his new beige shorts.

"If they're both working for the same thing, you'd think Axel wouldn't want you to die either, stop being such a dick," the brunette shot back.

"I'm tired of people telling me I'm being a bitch or a dick. Which is it?"

"Both, really. If people are always telling you that then don't you think there might be some truth behind it? Why would so many people lie to you?"

"Shut up, Sora."

"See? Ah well, you'll figure it out eventually. Do you think they have pretty girls there for us to date? Riku is pretty, and if the girls are as pretty as he is… oh man Roxas."

"That's really disgusting you know that? You just compared Riku to a woman and based your idea of beauty off of him. Just cut out the middle man and date him or something already."

"Ew dude, I'm not a queer. So what if he's a pretty guy? I don't think you're ugly just because you have a dick either you know."

"At least I've had sex with a girl before, what are _you_ waiting for?" Roxas jabbed and received a punch in the shoulder for his ass-hattery.

"Whatever dude, that was a low blow and you know it. I can't help my virginity, it's not for a lack of trying on my part," Sora grumbled. Roxas snickered at his brother's misfortune. "So if I did date Riku, would that mean you'd date Axel?" the brunette added snidely.

"Fuck off Sora, that's even more disgusting. He's not even all that nice to look at," the blonde huffed and gave his sibling a glare.

"He's not ugly, he's just different."

"Different _is_ ugly to me in most cases."

"Wow, you really are a dick."

"I have one, yes, and I know what it likes, and it doesn't like Axel. So stop," Roxas ordered and Sora raised a brow at him.

"Touchy…" the brunette trailed and started to head towards the exit of the unit. Axel wasn't in his bedroom and when they leaned out of the entrance in the kitchen they could hear the mechanical whir grow louder. They continued out of Axel's unit and down the stairs, past Riku's unit and into the basement following the noise as they went.

There were two more strange looking computer terminals flanking the basement and in between them there was an enormous crystalline formation jutting from the ground surrounded in a metal ring. Axel and Riku were both typing away at either terminal. Electricity cracked across the floor from the metal ring and arched into the giant crystal. Both men had chords coming from their mouths that lead into their respective computers and the brothers wandered in, looking around confusedly.

"Don't touch that yet," Riku warned motioning towards the crystal. "Other than that just give us a moment," he added and went back to what he was doing. Axel was silent. The floor crackled more in between the ring and the crystal and Roxas winced at the possible electrocution he would experience. Sora was either very good at hiding his fear or incredibly clueless because he hovered around Axel, looking at the computer with a curious face. Roxas sighed and wondered how Sora would even be useful to either of them but then again, it wasn't his place to judge. He crossed his arms and waited, trying not to let his confusion and fear get the better of him. He had made a commitment to Sora and he focused on that, using every ounce of his stubbornness and determination to distract himself. Then he had a thought.

"How big is the sub station that powers your block? This can't be cheap to run, your electric bill is going to be massive," he said blandly and Axel laughed.

"We just took half the block's power if that's what you want to hear, they'll get it back in a minute," he said. "No one's awake yet, I'm sure. It's like five in the morning or something. Most people's days don't start until six around here."

"Yeah well, I for one hate resetting all the clocks at home, so let's spare them any more of that drudgery, yeah?"

"You got it," Axel said and pressed a few more buttons. He finished and disconnected himself from the terminal. Riku did the same and held his hand out to Sora. The brunette meandered over but didn't take his hand.

"Something wrong?" Riku asked. "Having second thoughts?"

"No…I'm just a little scared," he responded quietly. Riku gave him a reassuring smile and patted his hair.

"It's a little disorienting but it doesn't hurt, come on," he said and lead Sora to the ring. Roxas watched with wide eyes as they both stepped inside the arching electricity, expecting them to fry in an instant but they didn't. Riku laid his hand on Sora's shoulder and looked to Axel. "See you on the other side," he said and Axel gave a little wave with his fingertips before Riku reached forward and laid his palm on the crystal. The overhead lights of the basement dimmed as their energy was pulled in to light the rock in the middle and a green line passed under Riku's skin, scanning his hand. Sora was looking around with expecting eyes and Roxas startled as pieces of Riku's began to be pulled into the crystal itself. Just before his entire arm disappeared, he jerked Sora to his chest with his other arm and Sora yelped before pieces of him started to be sucked in as well. It was over quickly, the last pieces of them fading into the electricity flowing into the crystal and Roxas and Axel were left alone.

"Wh—" Roxas started to ask Axel held up a hand.

"Come on, we have fifteen seconds to get in the ring," Axel said quickly and grabbed his wrist, dragging him into the machine. Roxas staggered into place and tried to pull away from Axel's grasp but the man's arm wouldn't budge. The blonde's skin tingled as the electricity danced over it and he was suddenly overcome with new doubts and fears, making him want to jump back out and demand he stay behind. Before he could protest, Axel's palm met with the crystal and he started to fade just as Riku's had. After a quick flick of his arm Roxas suddenly collided into the man's side and Axel held him close. The blonde's heart sped up as the fading inched its way closer to him and as soon as the first few pieces of his shoulder began to be sucked in, his vision started to blur. He looked up at Axel's face, where he found a peaceful smile. It was the last thing Roxas could remember seeing before everything went black.

* * *

" _…xas_?" came an echoing and distorted voice that itched the back of Roxas' mind. He was vaguely aware of the fact that the last syllable of his name sounded suspiciously like 'ass' but he didn't think that was an important detail and pushed it away. The voice was familiar but not so immediately familiar that Roxas knew who it was. He could register that he was lying down and that he had clothes on, which was a positive thing. He felt someone turn his arm over and stick their fingers into his wrist, checking his pulse. He tried to pry his eyes open but only succeeded in making his eyelids twitch some without much progress otherwise.

He heard an unfamiliar voice talk in gibberish to whoever it was that was taking his pulse. He heard the familiar voice talk back in gibberish and Roxas realized it was Leon. What was Leon doing there? Was he in cahoots with Axel and Riku? He probably was because there was no way he could do laundry at the triplex and not notice that giant crystal in the basement. If he hadn't, then Roxas really messed up trying to get an idiot like that to help him with the flies and such. He tried his eyes again and got the same result. He knew he was breathing and alive; otherwise he wouldn't be able to have such vivid thoughts. He tried his muscles and could feel a fingertip twitch. He knew it was enough because the voices started talking to one another again in their weird language, sounding more excited. He could hear a rustling of clothing and his eyelid peeled open as a finger helped him do it. He couldn't really see very well before a light shone directly into his pupil, blinding him completely. He grunted, which sounded manlier to him but to anyone else it was barely a squeak.

"Ah, perfect," Leon said, his voice clearing up considerably now that Roxas was semi-awake, even if he was immobile. Roxas' eye slid shut again, and he was thankful for it. His entire body felt like an elephant had trampled him. He wasn't necessarily in a lot of pain but he was _heavy_. Abnormally heavy, and he couldn't tell if it was because he was so tired or something else was wrong either way, he didn't like it. "We need to get you to the stasis chamber," Leon said assuming the blonde could hear him. "It won't hurt and the process takes a week, but afterward you'll be able to understand the language, adapt to our gravity and it'll beef up your immune system considerably so you can combat the types of germs and diseases we have here. Doesn't that sound wonderful?" he asked, as if Roxas could answer. "So, don't hate me, but I have to carry you and strip you so your clothing doesn't contaminate the chamber." If Roxas was able bodied enough, he would've protested but Leon gave him no choice.

He felt hands on him. He was lifted off the table and his head draped limply over one of the man's arms along with his legs over the other as Leon carried him bridal style for a few feet. He felt the man shift around so he could push open a pair of double doors with his back and Roxas was bombarded with several voices talking in gibberish at once. Leon started to talk in the tongue and the voices quieted immediately. They had a small back and fourth kind of conversation before Roxas could hear the doors opening and closing several times as everyone vacated.

The blonde could feel himself being gently laid out on another surface as Leon's fingers worked at the button of his pants quickly and efficiently. Roxas was suddenly aware of the fact that he had heard Leon and whoever his partner was having a heated humping competition above his head at Axel's home before, and that this man, this _gay_ man was going to see him completely naked. He didn't like that. Leon wasn't exactly stereotypical about it though. There were no 'oohs' or 'aaahs' or 'it's so cute!' statements made about Roxas' anatomy when he was fully unclothed. Leon was very precise, very methodical and hefted Roxas up once again to lay him in a small space. Incredibly small, like a linen closet. The blonde slumped as his frame was pulled downward by the awkward gravity and eventually the side of his head made contact with the floor gently.

Roxas' mouth was pried open and something he could only describe was a mouth guard was pushed between his teeth. It didn't feel like plastic, but it tasted like plastic. After a moment a gel was applied to his nostrils and a two pronged plug was shoved into his nose. The blonde could feel himself snort against it out of reflex before he could breathe easily again. Apparently, he was hooked up to oxygen but he couldn't understand why. There was an echoing click as the door to the tiny space was closed. He waited and waited for what seemed like forever before suddenly water, or some manner of liquid, began to pour over him. It didn't take long for him to become fully submerged and he could feel himself start to float, becoming suspended in what he hoped wasn't an entirely transparent room. He had a feeling _everything_ on his body was floating for the world to see though and he wasn't sure he liked it.

But there he had to stay for at least a week.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Three days passed and Roxas was able to open his eyes willingly. During those three days he stayed in a virtual limbo, feeling himself float amongst whatever liquid he was suspended in and not doing much else. Literally, he wasn't doing much else aside from breathing. He thought it strange that his bodily functions had ceased along with things like hunger, itching and other idle things the body tended to do. He wasn't going to argue with anything though; he really didn't want to float around in his own toilet. He had regular sleep cycles though, but when he was awake he couldn't muster the strength to even open his eyes, until three days passed that is.

His vision was a little blurry at first and the liquid he was in wasn't entirely clear, but at least it didn't burn. He was afraid of that; that he would ruin his eyes if he opened them and a rush of chemicals would rip them from his face or something as equally as painful. He didn't feel any different for the most part. His limbs were still relatively useless, and the most he could do was wiggle his fingers and toes, but other than that he was just bored. He could see particles floating around with him, and he hoped they weren't pieces of himself. He could see that the mouth guard type of thing between his teeth was connected to a hose that went up and out of his line of vision. His mouth was dry and he found that he didn't mind because for the same reasons he wasn't hungry, he had stopped producing saliva but the sensation never got irritating.

He floated in his awake state for a while, trying not to dwell on the potential mistake he had made. He was scared. Honestly and truly scared. He didn't know what to expect and he still had so many questions to ask, it was unnerving to think that everything he had been told might be a lie and that he would remain in his liquid filled bubble forever. He took a mental sigh. He couldn't even move his arms and rip out the thing in his mouth in order to make himself drown if he wanted to. That line of reasoning wasn't usually his thing. Suicide. Could he really do it if things turned bad? He was told he couldn't go back and yet he still chose to come here, what if it had all been a mistake? He just had to wait and see. Hopefully he could gain back the functionality of his body by the time the week was over.

* * *

The fourth day. The particles in the water were less for some reason Roxas couldn't understand. He could make out muddled shapes walking back and forth through the foggy water. Great, he was in a public place and completely naked floating around for anyone to look at. Fantastic. He would have to complain to the manager if they had one. This wasn't the most ideal situation but he couldn't change it. He could move his hands and feet now, not only just their digits. He could move his wrists and ankles to a certain extent. He could also move his facial muscles if he concentrated enough. He could wiggle his eyebrows and twitch his lips. Things were looking up with that miniscule development and he was starting to think he would be fully functional again.

What was it Leon said about a language? Roxas couldn't think of any other language other than English that he knew. He knew mathematics well enough, which was sort of a language in of itself. Science too, he knew that fairly well. He couldn't think of anything like Spanish or similar things though. He could sort of remember the noises of the gibberish the voices were saying when he first woke up, but couldn't decipher them so he figured it would come to him eventually as time passed.

* * *

The fifth day. Roxas was tired of his bubble. He was ready to come out and have a conversation with someone. He still couldn't understand the language thing Leon was talking about but he knew Axel, Riku, and Sora knew English. For the first time in five days, Roxas had reminded himself that he had a brother. He had forgotten Sora had come with them, or rather, Roxas went with Sora since technically he went through the crystal after the brunette. He wondered what had happened to his spastic little brother; hopefully they were treating him okay.

The water was much clearer today and Roxas felt exposed to the world behind his glass case. He was able to move his arms and legs a little, but only a bit before he would tire out and stop moving again. The shapes that moved around were in fact, other people. He didn't recognize anyone nor did he have a clue where he was. Obviously he was in a tube of some sort, a cylinder, but as far as the room around the cylinder? He had no idea. It looked like a laboratory of some kind, but he didn't have the strength to turn his head and take in the entire picture so he was stuck looking at an off white floor with grayish walls and a door. He was right in front of an entrance, and when it opened, he could see other people on the other side. Fantastic. He was on display.

* * *

On the sixth day, he could move pretty much everything except for his torso. He couldn't curl up into a ball if he tried, and he couldn't bend at the waist or anything like that. The only new thing he could move was his neck; everything else just had increased mobility from the previous day. He could look around and take in that he was indeed in some sort of laboratory facility and that the tube from his mouth went out of his bubble and down into a bigger machine. The views he had of the room were a little distorted by the shape of the glass but he could make out a few tables, a few chairs as well as a plethora of electronics he couldn't even begin to understand. There were a lot of lights too and not just overhead lighting but colorful blips here and there from a blue or red light which gave him something semi-interesting to watch while he wasted time.

When he was about to drift off into a nap there was an echoing squeak that sounded like someone was cleaning the glass of his bubble and it was squeaking with its cleanliness. When he opened his eyes though, he was surprised to find a very clear outline of Axel's cheek, arms, hands and shoulders pressed up against the bubble. The man was _hugging_ the cylinder. Roxas was a little disturbed. Disturbed more by the fact that the man could see him naked than he was of the actual action of the hug. Axel didn't look at him though; he kept his face pressed to the side. Someone was behind him, and he could tell they were talking but couldn't hear what they were saying. Roxas also noted that Axel's hair was red again. The man didn't stay long though and patted the glass lightly before he left. As far as the blonde knew, Axel hadn't stared at his nudity and it comforted him a little, made him seem a little less like a perverted freak but just barely.

* * *

Roxas was feeling pretty good on the seventh day. He could move with little stiffness and he could push himself to the glass and touch it, to let everyone around know that 'hey, I'm done cooking; I can come out now, right?' He tapped on the glass lightly and nothing happened. It took a while but someone answered and tapped back. It was Cloud, and he waved at Roxas little before leaving. _Cloud_ was here too? That didn't make any sense, but then again none of it did. At least the little exchange they had solidified the thought that they hadn't forgotten about him and he would probably be out soon.

It was several hours before anything new happened. Roxas floated silently waiting for his time and after a while of thinking maybe he was wrong and he was there to stay, there was a beep. A very muffled beep, but it was definitely a beep. He could make out other figures walking around the lab at a hurried pace after the noise and suddenly he felt heavier. He looked down and could see a drain open underneath him and the suction of the water going down made him realize he wasn't weightless after all. His feet eventually touched the bottom and the liquid pulled from his face. He staggered back heavily and flopped onto the bottom of his tube, utterly exhausted. What happened? A few hours ago he was feeling fine then _wham_ , they turned the heavy on again. He almost preferred the water and the suspension.

Axel was the one to open the door and let the cold in. He had a large piece of cloth in his hands and didn't gawk at the blonde before covering him and kneeling down to look him in the eye. He pulled the tube thing from his mouth and Roxas' jaw hurt something horrible as he let it close. Immediately his salivary glands turned on again and he could wet his tongue. Axel took a piece of the cloth in his hand and squeezed Roxas' nostrils gently and the gel, which had turned solid, popped free from his nose and the little two pronged plug was tossed aside. The blonde couldn't even resist the touching, he was so tired.

"How're you feeling?" Axel asked quietly, being mindful of the echo in the tube. Roxas had to remember he had a voice before he could talk. He squeaked a few times before forcing air through his throat to clear it before trying again.

"Heavy," he said faintly, a little surprised by the weakness he could hear in his voice and Axel smiled.

"You'll have that. I'm going to pick you up and take you out of here, okay? I'll try not to let you be completely exposed; I have another blanket on the table," he said gently before pulling Roxas forward some and edging an arm behind him. He scooped his legs up and hefted the blonde easily into his arms. Roxas shivered as the air wafted over him and his skin broke out in goosebumps. He was set on a blanket that was already open and draped over a table for him and Axel moved to pull the excess around him. Roxas grabbed the fabric stiffly with his fingers, keeping it around him as tight as he could. He was being bombarded by so many feelings at once. The cold, his internal organs starting up again, being able to feel that he was starving, and so many more that the least of his concerns was that he was completely naked still. He did notice that the room was empty and it was just Axel and him, though. He huddled under his blankets and tried to bury himself as best he could in them. They were surprisingly warm even though they were so thin, he couldn't tell what they were made of, but he liked it. Regardless of how warm he felt, he was still shivering.

"Wh-where's S-S-Sora?" he chattered through his clicking teeth.

"With Riku, he's fine. He got out a couple hours ago," Axel said calmly. Roxas managed a weak nod. The redhead draped a smaller piece of cloth over his flattened blond tufts and started to rub his hair, shaking him around vigorously. The blonde let out angry squawks as he was jostled around and tried to bat the man away but couldn't muster the strength. After he was relatively dry, he hugged his knees to himself and tried to curl up as small as he could in order to pool the blankets around him and try to stop his shivering. It was a useless venture though and he sat on the table, waiting for whatever was to come at him next. What excess there was of the blankets was pulled over him tightly, concealing him completely in a cocoon of fabric. "We're going to play a game on some of my friends, so just stay still," Axel said and Roxas wasn't able to respond before he was hefted up again in a tight bundle. "Well, one friend, anyway," he added as an after thought.

He was pressed to the man's chest tightly and he could tell they were on the move. Roxas couldn't see through the material but they passed through several doorways worth of conversation, mechanical noises and other idle sounds. Roxas was surprised to hear some of the foreign conversation. Not because he had never heard it before, but because he was able to understand what they were saying and translate it into English for himself easily. As he thought about it, he found himself wanting to respond in the same garbled mesh of whatever the language was and he was intrigued by it. Apparently everyone _hadn't_ been lying when they were talking about the technology they had and the few things he knew they could do. It eased his nerves considerably to know he wasn't completely doomed in that, if he had to escape and run away at the very least he knew the language. He was being carried through what seemed to be a large open area or hallway because the footsteps around them echoed along with low conversation. Suddenly there were loud running footsteps that sounded like naked feet on tile. The movement stopped in front of them but Axel continued walking.

"Hey don't ignore me!" a cheerful male voice said in mild annoyance. Roxas could feel the reverberation of a chuckle emanate from Axel. The footsteps caught up again. "Is this him, can I see?" the voice insisted and Roxas could feel a hand trying to pull his cocoon open. Axel sidestepped away, much to his delight but the foreigner pouted. "That's not cool, Axel. Riku let me see his."

"That's nice for Riku, but mine needs his rest, so no. You can't see yet," Axel said in a careful and even tone. It took a moment for the blonde to realize that they were talking in the native tongue, but he found it didn't matter because the language and English were becoming synonymous to him. He wasn't sure how he felt about being talked about like he was an object, but he didn't have the energy to argue.

"But they're always so much cuter than their profiles make them out to be…" the other voice trailed, sounding a little downtrodden.

"That's fine but you can see when he's ready to let you see, right Roxas?" Axel asked.

"Mhm..." the blonde hummed, unable to think of much else to say and not trusting his voice. He was still shivering a little, his skin and muscles having small tremors by themselves but he felt warmer overall. He hoped the shivering would stop.

"Alright _fine_ ," the voice huffed. "I'll catch up with you at dinner, bye you guys," he said and his footsteps started to head in the other direction.

"Bye," Axel said. The redhead readjusted his hold on the blonde and Roxas could feel a cheek rest against his head through the fabric. "That was Demyx;" he said "he's a little pushy but is a really nice guy. You're allowed to sleep for however long you want, we're almost to where you'll be staying. If you find it's not satisfactory we can change it, but this is where they assigned you for now."

"Assigned?" came the blonde's response.

"Right. We're in a very large housing area right now. Everyone that works here lives here. We can sort out the details once you're feeling better though so don't worry about it for now," Axel added and Roxas nodded. He was shifted around in the man's arms so he could open a door and all of the noise from the outside disappeared when it closed. The blonde was carried a few more feet before he was set down. He sunk a little and could assume with relative certainty that it was a bed. "There's clothing for you nearby, and if you need to be warmer under the covers there's a switch next to the bed that heats the mattress. Other than that, if you need anything just stick your head out the door and holler like you broke a leg or something and you'll get some attention," Axel said before his arms disappeared from around Roxas as he backed away. The blonde peeked out of his pile of blankets and had just enough time to turn is head and see the door closing again as Axel left.

Ignoring his exhaustion for a moment, Roxas took in his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was that he was sitting on a rather large platform bed. He wasn't versed on the sizes beds came in since he and Sora always had twin size beds but it was much bigger than he had expected. The frame itself was entirely metal with a brushed nickel sort of appearance. There was simple white bedding and several pillows. The other pieces of furniture in the room, two small side tables and a large armoire were just as industrial and as metal as the bed. He had a small lamp which was really just a bent metal stick coming out of the side table with a triangular shade and LED-looking lights casting a light glow. There were overhead lights but they were recessed into the ceiling but looked to be the same type of setup as the lamp. He had carpeting of a soft gray but the walls were void of anything and looked to be made of concrete or some other poured masonry material. There were two other doors aside from the exit and they were all flat and metal and he had a window.

The window was a little too high for his liking and he couldn't see over the sill from where he was on the bed, but he didn't care about that right now, he was extremely tired. On the corner of his bed there was a shirt and a pair of pants and he reached forward for the lower garment, wincing as his muscles ached. He managed to wrestle the clothing on and shoved his damp blankets to the floor in favor of climbing under his new white ones. He curled his arms under his pillow, happy that is wasn't as hard and starchy as it looked. His hand bumped into something soft and he startled a little before grabbing hold and pulling it into the open air. It was a small stuffed Tigger doll and he smirked. He set it aside on the table and wondered how he would turn off the light; there wasn't a switch. He glared at the offending thing for a minute before giving into his weariness and settled for putting another pillow over his face to block it out.

* * *

Roxas awoke again some time later and he knew it had to have been at least a day since it was much brighter in the room than when he had fallen asleep. He yawned and pushed himself up, looking around. He decided his room was incredibly boring, but Axel had said he could change it, right? He'd do that later. The light was definitely coming from the window and not overhead lighting, which was fine by him. He liked sunlight. He stretched and tested all his limbs and digits, even twisting his back and found that the stiffness had receded quite a bit and he didn't feel quite so heavy. Good. He was a little shaky when he stood, but settled his footing firmly and went to the window to see what he could see.

His eyes widened as he took in what he assumed was an enormous dome. At least it looked like a dome, but whatever shape it was hardly mattered because it covered the entire landscape and went up and around out of his line of vision. It was made of some wavy glass-like material in huge honeycomb shapes held together with what he could venture to guess was more metal. He was in a domed city? Like in the sci-fi movies? It was almost a little too cliché and he wanted to ask someone what year it was. The city itself was low to the ground and very bland from what he could see in the distance. He wondered how high above sea level wherever he was, was because he could see relatively far. He also noted the very minimal use of plants. The most 'natural' looking things were enormous crystalline rock formations and even then, it was all a little stark and drab. It was depressing. He sighed. He already missed his home, even if it had too many bugs.

He looked the city over for another minute before he was reminded he had bodily functions he needed to attend to. He figured he'd try the other two doors and see if he had a bathroom and sure enough, he did. He could understand the general idea behind the very simple and clean lined utilities. The shower, sink, and toilet were very much like oversized metal bowls with buttons on the walls rather than porcelain fixtures with knobs. He had a mirror as well but other than that and the lack of carpet in favor of gray tiles, it was pretty much the same as his bedroom. He did have a toothbrush and what he could only assume was toothpaste even though it wasn't minty and fizzed when it touched his saliva. He _really_ hoped it was toothpaste. The only other chemical he could find was when he pressed a button next to the hot and cold water buttons and a quick stream of blue came out of the faucet, which was safe to call soap and he was nowhere near the shower, so he was okay with his hypothesis this time around.

After he took care of his basic needs (he didn't trust the shower just yet) he pulled on the shirt he was provided and stuck his head out of the door that lead out of his room. There were a few people milling about in the hallway which was abnormally tall and gray. He didn't recognize anyone. Apparently one of them recognized him though because a relatively short man with long blue-gray hair draped over one eye noticed him looking around and came to greet him.

"Hello Roxas," the man said. He spoke softly and seemed kind enough but his face was blank and stoic. He flicked his choppy haircut briefly and Roxas wondered why he didn't just even it out if it bothered him being in his face so much, but it wasn't his place.

"Hi," he said, trying to sound like he wasn't completely disoriented.

"I'm Zexion and I'm a friend of Axel's. I heard you already sort of met Demyx, he should be around here somewhere. Are you ready to come out and join the world?" he asked and gave the blonde a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm _really_ hungry…" the blonde said. Zexion nodded.

"Food exists, but we have to find Axel first."

"Oh."

"You don't want to see him?" Zexion asked and quirked a brow at him, giving Roxas the impression he was weird for not wanting to. He honestly didn't care if he saw Axel or not, he was still not entirely happy with him.

"It doesn't matter; I suppose I'll have to eventually, right?" Roxas asked and Zexion nodded.

"You will be working with him, so you may as well say hello. But if you don't wish to wander around and find him, we can just go find you some food and hope he catches up."

"I would prefer that, thanks," the blonde said, relieved he had that option. It was reassuring to think that if he didn't want to see Axel, he didn't have to. Zexion gave him a shrug and started walking down the hall and Roxas followed. Wherever he was it was enormous and riddled with corridors and rooms in the most random order he had ever seen. Sometimes people would pop out of rooms he didn't even realize were there and he could spy bedrooms and laboratory-like set-ups with no real rhyme or reason to them. He figured he'd get used to it though since everyone else seemed to not have a problem with it. One thing he did notice though was that it was all very clean and sterile looking but hardly anyone wore shoes. He wasn't even given a pair, just pajama pants and a t-shirt. Eventually they made it to a large area that reminded him very much of his middle school cafeteria.

It was just as tall as the rest of the ceilings he had seen so far, with a food line on one side behind pieces of glass for separation and the rest of it was filled with tables and seating. There were a lot of people sitting around together and chatting. Roxas noticed that at least half of the people were wearing the same outfit of beige shorts and a beige t-shirt without shoes and the ones that did have a varying wardrobe were the ones that were fully clothed for the most part. They were all men, too. At least he thought they were since none of them had breasts but some of them were like Riku and rather androgynous. Interesting. Zexion poked his shoulder and Roxas stopped his observation in favor of following him to the line and pulling together a plate of food. The blonde didn't have much choice in what he could eat, he noticed. The variation was rather sparse but he took whatever looked good enough, assuming none of it would kill him.

"Roxas!" called an all too familiar voice and it was barely a moment before Axel was standing next to him with a smile. Roxas blinked at him in surprise. He was dressed in the beige outfit some of the others were wearing and his piercings were gone without so much as leaving a hole behind. He did have his tattoos still though.

"Hi," the blonde said blandly and Axel's smile faltered a little. An arm reached over the glass separating the food line from the rest of the room and Axel took the plate it carried. Roxas startled. "Is… is that _raw_ meat?" he asked and the redhead nodded.

"Yeah," he said.

"You're going to cook that, right?"

"No," the redhead said simply and to Roxas' horror, he picked up a cube and stuffed it in his mouth with a satisfied smile. The blonde looked away and tried not to think about all the pathogens the man was consuming.

"Is that a problem?" Zexion asked curiously.

"It's disgusting," the blonde said.

"Well unfortunately that how Carriers eat. Axel is a Carrier of a carnivorous strain, and therefore, he eats meat," Zexion added, like it explained everything. All it succeeded in doing was adding to Roxas' irritability and confusion.

"We didn't get that far," Axel said. "If it bothers you, I won't eat around you."

"Whatever; do what you want," Roxas said grumpily and broke off from the two of them to go find a seat, ignoring the fact that he didn't know anyone else. He found a secluded spot far away from the rest and sat harshly into the seat and clattered his tray onto the table. He garnered a few looks but he didn't care and started to shovel the food into his mouth with his eyes down and blocking everything else out. He wasn't happy. He didn't like Axel, he didn't like his room, he didn't like the city, he didn't like the place he was at, and he most certainly didn't like the idea that he couldn't go back. He had made a horrible mistake and felt he should have never followed Sora. He sighed, and pushed his tray away, his appetite lost. He folded his arms on the table and rested his forehead on them, feeling the weight of his emotional collapse.

"Hey…" Axel said quietly and took a seat across from the blonde. He reached forward and brushed his fingers over the blonde's arm. Roxas shot up and smacked his hand away.

"Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me," he ordered with fire in his eyes. Axel held his hands up defensively.

"Okay," he said quickly. "Are you okay? Did you want to ta—"

"Just fuck off, alright?" the blonde barked angrily. Axel's expression drooped and he folded his hands in his lap before nodding and pushing himself up from his seat. A very cheerful man with a strange sandy blonde Mohawk caught up with the redhead and had an extremely happy expression until he took in Axel's face. All happiness drained from him and they had a brief conversation before the sandy blonde glanced at Roxas and back to Axel. Zexion made his way to the pair and they all exchanged a few more words before Axel shrugged some and they left together to go sit with the others. Roxas laid his head back on his arms. There was a long moment where everyone left him alone before he suddenly felt a hand on his back. He whipped around and elbowed the arm away that was attached to the hand and Sora yelped in surprise before grabbing his forearm.

"Ow dick, what'd you do that for?" the brunette asked with a glare as he rubbed his abused limb.

"I didn't know it was you, sorry," the blonde muttered quietly. Sora sat next to him. They were dressed the same.

"Not having any fun?" Sora asked and Roxas wanted to punch him.

"Of course not. Why? Don't tell me you actually like it here."

"I don't have an opinion yet. I haven't seen everything, but I'm not rejecting it yet like you apparently are."

"I hate it."

"You would. I think the people are nice though."

"They're freaks. Axel was eating _raw meat_. Raw, _red_ meat. That's awful."

"So? He didn't force _you_ to eat it did he?"

"No, but it's still nasty."

"You're so quick to judge everything, good god Roxas, how do you ever expect to be happy if you turn into a dick whenever something new comes along?"

"I don't want to be here anymore," the blonde grumbled, ignoring his brother's very valid point. "They're being okay to you though right? They're not hurting you?"

"Nope. My room is a little boring but Riku says I can change it when we get to that point. He's really nice."

"It's a total sausage fest here," Roxas said and Sora nodded.

"I noticed that too. I asked Riku about it and he said the women are across the way in another facility."

"Oh. Well that's a little reassuring," the blonde said. "Do you know if we're allowed to wander around together?"

"I didn't hear anyone say we couldn't but I'm sure we'd get lost."

"True, but I can't stay here. I need to move around."

"Well let me get something to eat and I'll see if I can find someone to help us around, okay?" Sora asked and his brother nodded. The brunette left and he laid his head in his arms again, waiting. He was jealous his brother could see the brighter side of things so easily. He knew Sora had a point and that he tended to be right whenever he told Roxas he was being a dick, but the blonde couldn't help the way he felt in the heat of the moment when he had to react to something. He was tired of being told he was an ass but he didn't know how to change it. After a short wait, Sora came back with an additional body and Roxas looked over his arm to see Riku sitting with them. Riku didn't have any food like Sora did but Roxas noted that he was also wearing the same beige outfit that Axel was.

"I hear you two would like a tour?" Riku asked with a gentle smile. Sora started to stuff his face and Roxas nodded.

"I'd really rather not get lost every three minutes even if I haven't had the opportunity to, yet," the blonde said.

"Understandable. Was Axel not available?"

"I don't want to be around him."

"…I see."

"Roxas is having a very asshole-ish day," Sora added and the blonde glared at him.

"Oh really? Just today?" Riku asked and Roxas' mouth fell open.

"What the hell, _both_ of you are ganging up on me, now?"

"Not at all, I was under the impression that you were like this all the time. I didn't think it depended on the day," Riku added with an innocent tone. He was serious. Roxas wasn't happy with that and furrowed his brows with a scowl. He looked around the room again and he spotted Axel looking over his shoulder at them but once he realized Roxas was looking at him, he turned away. The blonde let out a groan and rubbed his face.

"Damn it…" he said. As much as he tried, he couldn't deny he was being a monstrous asshole to everyone so far. It wasn't doing much for first impressions, he was sure. Everything irked him in a very big way though and he just couldn't get himself to let it all go and be accepting like Sora was. He was reminded of how gentle Axel had been with him when he carried Roxas to his room and how happy and at peace he looked when they were leaving Radiant Garden together. Then he remembered that Axel had admitted to watching him his entire life. The conflicting emotions he felt after all this realization left him with the beginnings of a headache. He sighed and tried to think of something else. "So why is it that half of these people are wearing the same outfit?" he asked abruptly.

"This one?" Riku asked, picking at the beige t-shirt he was wearing and Roxas nodded. "Everyone that's dressed like this is a Carrier. Everyone else is either a Charge or a Technician. You and Sora are Charges," he said simply and left it at that.

"Are you going to tell me what all those terms mean or are you just going to leave me hanging?"

"It's not my place to explain it all to you. You're not my Charge so I don't have any responsibility towards you. You however, pushed your fountain of knowledge away so I don't want to hear any complaints," the silveret said, sounding a little irritated. From the look on Sora's face he was a little surprised that Riku had any other emotion other than that of peace and the blonde couldn't help but agree. Roxas blinked and glanced at Axel who was still facing away from him.

"I'm assuming I'm Axel's Charge then?"

"Correct. You two have to work together so I suggest you suck it up and at least be civil to him otherwise the entire process is going to be very long and tedious."

"What if I don't want to do the work?" the blonde asked, matching Riku's irritation.

"Then I suggest you leave before you cause any permanent damage. Axel put in a lot of time and effort for you and you've done nothing but push him away for whatever reason."

"Time and effort? The guy is a perverted freak! He _watched_ me like a crazy stalker for my entire life!"

"And? What proof do you have that he's as terrible as you make him sound? I watched Sora closely his entire life as well. Am I freak too?"

"Yes!" Roxas cried. Riku raised a brow at him, his face losing all emotion. Sora's shoulders hunched some and he looked between the man and his brother carefully. "Are you not bothered by that, Sora?" Roxas demanded. Sora shrugged.

"It's not exactly the most ideal thing I've heard but he's given me no reason to believe that he was selling kiddie porn in his basement or something gross. I'm trying to keep an open mind about it and Riku said he'll explain everything once I settle in, so I'm banking on that."

"Wh—how can you be so calm about it?" Roxas asked, his voice heightening with his distress.

"Every Charge is watched by their Carrier. It's how we confirm you are what your profiles make you out to be. The technicians gather the information for us, but it's incomplete in most cases and we have to study you in order to figure out if you're healthy enough and what we need," Riku said simply. "You, unfortunately, take it the wrong way. Nothing about what we do is perverted, it's all for a greater goal. If you _really_ want to look at it like we're criminals, I can't stop you but it's going to make your time here a lot harder. I suggest you find someone else to give you a tour Roxas, because you're being incorrigible and I honestly don't want to be around you right now. Excuse me, Sora," Riku added and left. The brunette watched him leave. Though his tone was calm, Riku's words stuck with the blonde.

"That was a polite way of saying 'fuck off' I think," Sora said. "Way to piss him off."

"I don't know what to say," Roxas admitted. Sora shrugged and started to clean up his tray.

"Maybe you should like, smile and maybe apologize for being such a twat."

"Is it bad that I don't want to?" the blonde asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. It really is, Roxas," the brunette said with a glare. Roxas groaned and slumped in his seat until his head rested against the back of the chair. He stared up at the ceiling for a while. He glanced over at Axel again, who was standing and getting ready to leave with his friends. If they left, Roxas wouldn't be able to find his way back to his room. Sora stood and took both of their trays back towards the food line. The blonde rubbed his face and got up, making his way to Axel quickly before the redhead could get away. He poked him in the back and got his attention.

"Sorry," he blurted and crossed his arms over his chest angrily. Axel raised a brow at him.

"If you didn't look like you had something shoved up your ass, I would believe you. But you do, so I don't," the redhead said. "It doesn't matter though so long as you can work with me and get my project off the ground, you can hate me as much as you want," he added and waved a hand dismissively. "So come on, let's get you situated."

"…Fine."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"And this…" Axel said as he pushed open a pair of double doors, "is where we will be working together. This is our lab," he added and Roxas walked past him into the room. The blonde crossed his arms and looked around at the all the screens, lights, and towering computers. There was a large machine in the back of the room that held several full sized tubes, much like the one he had spent a week in, attached to an enormous computer that was made mostly of glass and metal. There were metal tables and metal chairs scattered around with some minor implements and examination equipment but the most interesting thing to Roxas was the giant machine in the back.

"Just what are we doing exactly?" he asked with the irritation still apparent in his voice.

"We're taking a tour."

"No shit, but I want to know why we need a lab."

"You're just going to have to wait. I can't really explain it without showing you and you're making it really hard for me to want to take you anywhere outside of the facility. Can you just stop being angry at me for five minutes?" the redhead asked.

"I don't like you."

"I know you don't. I'm aware of this, but you're making it hard on me by being so rude. If you want your answers, you can have them but it's going to take some effort on your part, too."

"Effort on my part?" the blonde started, turning to glare at him. "I'm pretty sure I've put in more than enough effort on my part. I gave up my _entire life_ to come here. I gave up my friends, my school, my family, and my mental state to be here. Sorry if I'm not entirely happy with my decision but don't make it sound like I've done _nothing_."

"Yeah well at least you didn't spend the last eighty-three years of your life hoping that you'd be able to make this work and have it blow up in your face just because some _kid_ has a stick up his ass."

"Eight—how _old_ are you?" the blonde asked with frantic shock.

"I'm eighty-six."

"What!" he yelled and backed away from him a few feet. "There is no way you're eighty-six. No _fucking_ way."

"Well I am. Riku is one seventy-seven."

"One— _fuck!_ What are you people?"

"Carriers."

"Yeah so I've been told but I don't understand," the blonde said, head spinning with the new information. He held a palm to his forehead and took a breath before he started to get out of control. This was impossible. But then, so was learning a language through osmosis. "Okay…" he said, trying to rationalize the information some. "I'll try to be quiet, just explain what you are to me," he said with strained calmness. Axel looked him over for a minute before walking past and sitting in a chair. He pulled another seat near him and patted it for Roxas. The blonde took it, but moved it back a few inches. The motion was ignored, but not unnoticed.

"Carriers are not human, as you can probably guess. Each Carrier has what is called a Totem. The Totem is basically what the Carrier strives to revive. Totems are animals that have been wiped from our world by The Great War. You follow so far?" Axel started and Roxas nodded. "Okay, The Great War was over two thousand years ago and before it happened my world was almost an exact copy of your world. We are in a parallel dimension that runs next to your world. Your Radiant Garden. Does that make sense?" he asked. Roxas took a minute to register what he was saying.

"So…my home is basically your home from two thousand years ago or so?"

"Right. This is how we know so much about you. We're able to look back on our own past and see the people who had great potential but wouldn't succeed in their time for whatever reason. Your home isn't _exactly_ like mine from the past but it's so close we may as well be the same which is why Carriers, like me, have to watch the people we want to pull from your world so closely. The information we have on you is accurate but only to a certain extent. We don't know for sure until we watch you. Does that make sense?"

"I'm not sure _how_ you can get so much information about me, but go ahead."

"I did not personally go out and collect information about you. That's what the Technicians do. They go out and collect the data and run the programs that make the Carriers. They're usually old and boring but whatever," Axel said and waved a hand dismissively. "So anyway, the purpose of a Carrier's program is to revive the animal strain that their Totem governs. We're trying to bring our world back up to speed on what it once was before The Great War. The only problem is we only have so much animal DNA to go off of. Three quarters of the world's land masses were basically obliterated in the War and thus, the animals and plants along with it."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, I know. Anyway, what we have is a very generalized version of most of the animal's DNA. For instance, my Totem is the Tiger. Just straight Tiger. No Bengal, no Siberian, no nothing. Just Tiger. We can manipulate the DNA to make the strains into the various types of tigers but we can't do that until we have a stable population."

"Okay, so why can't you just and like… steal the tigers from my world?"

"You'd have no tigers then. Plus, it helps if they can handle the atmosphere here and the gravity so we really need to breed our own."

"You're the only one with this Totem? How are you going to repopulate with just yourself? Wouldn't that just be cloning and defeat the purpose?"

"Indeed it would. That's where _you_ come in," he said with a smile and pointed at the blond. Roxas' eyes got considerably bigger.

"Okay wait. Not only am I human and have nothing to do with whatever a Carrier actually is biologically, need I remind you I'm a _guy_? Two hotdogs don't make a baby, dude."

"I just need your DNA. The Technicians go out and find people according to compatible strains of DNA, as well as their role in their world, which is what I was talking about earlier."

"So… we have compatible DNA?"

"Right."

"So not only do I have to have potential for this, I have to ultimately fail in my previous life, _and_ be compatible with you on a molecular level?"

"Right."

"That's very specific. Why would it matter if I would ultimately fail in life or whatever?"

"Because we're trying to complete our goals without tossing your world into chaos. Could you imagine the problems that would've arisen if we went back and stole _Einstein_ or someone? Your world would've been completely different. We take the people that would ultimately not matter to the integrity of the future."

"Oh…" Roxas trailed. He took a moment to register everything and take it at face value and not delve into the details just yet. Axel was willing to share the information and Roxas didn't doubt it would all come eventually so he tried not to dwell on the little things. "So how does me being human help you or hurt you?"

"That's where it gets hairy. Inside myself, I have my human DNA in addition to my Totem DNA. Now, if I take my Totem's DNA, and mix it with your DNA I get another Carrier. Does that make sense?"

"I can see that. But I thought you wanted tigers, not more Carriers."

"I do. But I need several Carriers first because with each new Carrier, the Totem DNA changes a little. Then if I take two different types of Totem DNA and mix it together, I get a tiger."

"So…we're going to have kids essentially?" the blonde asked with a worried face. Axel looked contemplative for a while, but he nodded.

"Yes that's the general idea. But it's not what you think. There isn't any actual parenting involved because the incubation process for a Carrier takes them until their body is mature. I am the way I am because I was born this way. Or rather, I was taken out of my incubation chamber this way. If you take my gestational age as well as my 'life' age, I'm over a hundred years old."

"Wh—okay. So if you're over a hundred years old, technically, how are you going to get very many Carriers out of me? I'm not going to live that long. Do you have like hundreds of tubes or whatever to grow these things in?"

"The process of stasis is what everyone at this facility goes through. It's not just for the people crossing over into this world. So long as you take care of yourself and don't do anything stupid, you'll live forever, Roxas. Just like me."

"Ho—?" the blonde was stunned. "I can't die?"

"Not by aging, no. You can still die if you get stabbed or get sick, but your body won't break down simply because time passes. Now, you'll have to renew the process every twenty years or so, but it's just another week in the stasis chamber so if you _really_ wanted to die you can just forgo that and you'll age normally, but for the next twenty years or so, you're not going to age." Axel smiled. "In the same breath I can say that it's going to take a long time to make very many Carriers because the process if imperfect and very much trial and error. For instance, Demyx's kind only has four Carriers including him but he's almost as old as Riku is. It really depends on the strain of Totem DNA and the samples that are given but it'll happen with time and a lot of work."

"So okay, samples? I assume you want samples from me?"

"Yes."

"Samples of _what_ exactly?" the blonde asked giving him a glare as he could already guess the answer. "You can get my DNA if I spit on something right?"

"…Sperm are best," Axel said quietly and hesitantly, giving Roxas a sideways sheepish glance.

"Oh, no way. No. Not happening," Roxas said quickly, crossing his arms over his chest and shaking his head. "Nope."

"I had a feeling you were going to say that."

"I hope there's more to this than you just taking me over to this world just so I can jerk off for you, because I swear if there isn't I'm gone."

"There's a lot more, but if you hate me so much I doubt you'd be willing to do any of it."

"That doesn't sound very promising. Anyway how are you supposed to mix two sperm together?"

"Remember my Nicholas Cage and Brad Pitt scenario from your class?"

"Oh fuck that," Roxas spat. "That's just terrible. Does that mean every weird story and idea you told me had some sort of truth to it?"

"Yes."

"Werewolves and stupid shit like that too?"

"Carriers are like that, yes."

"You howl at the moon and change into a tiger?"

"I don't howl. That's for the wolves at the canine facility. You're in the feline facility."

"…Wait a minute," Roxas said suspiciously and eyed him. "That's impossible."

"I'd have to go into a huge explanation on how my body works. But you'll just have to take my word for it for now. I'm not ready for that step yet. I will say that Carriers have a partly synthetic body and that there is _far_ too much going inside of us for you to even understand at this moment what it all means and how they're made."

"I want to see this."

"Not right now."

"But I want to, I don't believe you."

"You can once you accept the rest of your job description and that involves getting intimately familiar with how I function. You hate me, and therefore are so far a hindrance to my program, but I'm willing to give you time because we have a lot of it."

"Intimate like how? I'm not gay."

"Intimate like fine detail intimate. If you decide that in thirty years you want to be my lover I have no problem with that but for now it doesn't have to mean anything of the sort. I'm sure if you asked someone else, they'd share though. Try Riku, he could probably show you and Sora both."

"Wait so all the Carriers have different Totems right?"

"Yes, unless they have offspring. Like Leon is a Carrier, and there are lots of his kind around."

" _Leon_? Is Cloud a Carrier too? I saw him before."

"Cloud is Leon's Charge. Just like Sora is Riku's," Axel said solemnly, leaving out the detail that Roxas is _supposed_ to be his.

"So does that mean Leon and Cloud were fucking upstairs in your triplex?"

"…Yes."

"Why were they fighting then?"

"That's just the way they are," the redhead said with a shrug. "I don't understand it totally myself."

"Okay so what Totem does Riku have?"

"He has the snow leopard."

"But I thought you only have general DNA, why is his so specific?"

"Because the Leopard program took off fairly well in the past and they're focusing on the subspecies' now. All of the different types have their own Carriers. Once we get to enough of a tiger population going we have to start the process over again to get the different types. You need to remember that this process has been going on since the end of The Great War over two thousand years ago. It started as a program to help the endangered species' repopulate and has since evolved to this."

"Why was yours so late to start then? You're the only one, right?"

"I am, and I don't know why they waited so long or why I'm at a such a disadvantage for most of things that come to other Carriers so easily. Guess I'm just lucky," Axel said bitterly and Roxas felt he had just struck a nerve. "Riku is the only one of his kind too, but he's a subspecies. At least he has some ancestry."

"Oh. Wait does that mean that the dreams I had were not just hallucinations? Were you really talking to me in your tiger-ness?"

"I was."

"How were you even able to talk to me like that in the first place?"

"Synthetic hallucinogens that induce a trancelike state with microscopic transmitters that lodge themselves in your nerves and show you the pictures and make you hear the sounds. Ears work the best because they're so close to the brain internally but really anywhere inside is else fine."

"Wh—yuck. Why did you make the flies go in my stomach then and in such quantities?"

"Because the digestive tract is the worst place to do it and you had earplugs in and the next most accessible place without clogging your nasal airway was your mouth. The more of the substance I have, the more powerful the result."

"Why are you talking so casually like that? See this is why I get upset with you and everyone else because you all make it seem like this is commonplace and I should just accept it. You essentially _violated_ me. That's disgusting, why should I trust you?"

"I have no idea, you obviously do to some extent otherwise you wouldn't be here. Would you have preferred it if I had made them crawl up your leg and insert it all through your penis? Because I very well could have."

"…I don't even want to be around you anymore."

"You never did to begin with Roxas or were you lying to me?"

"You want to play the asshole game? Because I can do that, apparently I'm very good at it."

"Yes you are."

"Fuck off," the blonde barked.

"What? I was just agreeing with you," Axel said with a blank face. Roxas rolled his eyes and stood, walking across the room to focus on something other than stomping the redhead's face in. Axel sighed. "Look, I'm sorry alright? I didn't mean to violate you like that but it's just how I was told to make contact with my Charge. I wasn't given any other way to do it and it was my only option."

"Right because holding a conversation is such a hard thing to do."

"Would you have believed me?"

"No."

"Exactly. The purpose of it was to get you used to my Primal form so when the time did come to show you, you'd be less terrified of me because let's face it, if I threw off my skin and suddenly you were faced with a six hundred pound tiger, what would you do?"

"…You have a point."

"The biggest problem with the way this little shindig is going between us is that we didn't have enough time together before you came over here. Your downfall wasn't supposed to come so quickly and even if it had progressed at the normal rate, it would've still have been very short."

"My downfall?" the blonde questioned, turning to him again. "What do you mean?"

"Every Charge comes with a timeline. The time it takes you to reach your peak in life to the time it takes you to fail. Carriers are supposed to make a connection with their Charges within this timeline to make the transition smoother when they come over. Your peak and downfall timeline was very short, only three months. Your downfall was going to happen when you were going to go to the club with Hayner and Olette."

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Hayner was going to give you a drink laced with Ecstasy and you were going to get so incredibly tweaked on it you were eventually going to end up in the bed with Olette, who was drunk and she'd end up pregnant," Axel said. Roxas' eyes flew wide and he sputtered.

"What?"

"Fifteen minutes of humping and your life would've been finished. Expelled for drug use and underage drinking, rejection from your religious family because of having a child out of wedlock, the overwhelming guilt and sense of obligation would've reduced you to managing a gas station for the rest of you life instead of finishing school. That was your end."

"That doesn't make any sense. Why would Hayner have given me X?"

"To get you to loosen up a little. It's no secret that you're wound pretty tight Roxas."

"Oh my god," the blonde said with furrowed brows. He rubbed his temples. The entire scenario was so plausible he didn't even question it. Hayner was always nagging him to be less of a bitch, why couldn't he try something so drastic? He blinked rapidly, coming to the realization that it was either that instance or coming to Axel's world. Everything he was told so far was a little confusing but considering the events of the last week, it made sense if Axel was able to see his future downfall with reasonable accuracy. Having so many people in one place following the same principles had to contribute to its validity in some way as well. "Thank you for saving me from myself," he said quietly and the redhead startled, sitting up straight in his chair.

"You mean that?" he asked, eyebrows rising.

"Yeah."

"That's such a relief, thank you," Axel said quickly, letting out a breath and rubbing his face. The tension leaked from his shoulders some and the blonde could tell he had really been worrying about it. "Do you understand what we're trying to do here though?"

"Yes. This Great War you keep mentioning certainly explains why there are so few plants outside. Is there a dome over this city?"

"Yes, but it's because the amounts of radiation outside of it make the atmosphere a little weird. Carriers can go outside of the dome relatively easily because we're partly synthetic but anyone else has to wear special suits. The world right now is basically a series of huge domes and a lot of them are their own ecosystems. This one is mostly a city made of two Totem facilities so there's not much need for a bunch of plants. All of our food comes from other domes."

"I'm going to assume The Great War was that of nuclear arms if there's so much radiation?"

"Exactly, very perceptive."

"I see. I don't think I can absorb anymore information for today. It's a lot to process."

"I understand, what did you want to do?"

"I still want to see you turn into a tiger, but I guess that has to wait."

"Only if you make me wait, but you have to be accepting of your entire role. I'm not going in this half-assed. I'm actually really sensitive about my Primal form so I'm not going to stand you making fun or me or anything," Axel said almost as a pout. His cheeks turned a little red at the admittance of his self consciousness. Roxas still had a bunch of questions but if he really wouldn't age for the next twenty years, he figured he had time. That and a massive headache brewing in the back of his head deterred him from arguing. "That's not to say you can't see someone else, but you've been an ass since you've woken up and I'm pretty sure not many people want anything to do with you."

"Yeah yeah I know that already," Roxas said grumpily. "I've come to terms with the idea that I've given a horrible first impression."

"Good, admittance is the first step to recovery. I need to eat something, and it's almost lunchtime. You're free to do whatever but I can imagine you're probably hungry as well."

"You're not going to try to eat a bunch of raw meat again are you?"

"I have to. It's what my Totem eats. When I was with you in your world, I had such horrible indigestion all the time, it was awful," Axel said with his tongue sticking out a little with a hand on his stomach. Roxas smirked a little but wasn't sure how he felt about seeing Axel eat again. He sighed and decided to suck it up. They left their lab together and weaved through the still horribly unfamiliar halls before they came to the cafeteria again. Roxas was vaguely aware of the dozens of eyes on him as he followed behind Axel to the food line. The selection of edibles was different but still just as sparse as breakfast was. Axel took his plate and Roxas deliberately kept his eyes away from it but still followed behind him as they wove through the tables to sit with whoever Axel was familiar with.

"Hello again Roxas," Zexion said and Roxas gave him a small wave as he sat. The blonde took a glance around the table and recognized Leon and Cloud sitting together as well as the sandy blonde with the strange hair style.

"Hi everyone," Roxas said sheepishly, keeping his line of vision away from any plates of red chunks.

"How were your first ten days?" Leon asked abruptly. Axel and his sandy haired friend started a low conversation between each other.

"Ten?"

"Right, a week of stasis and then you took a three day nap."

"I did? I thought it was only one," the blonde said. No one had mentioned how long he had slept. Maybe time wasn't such a big deal here after all. "Sorry?"

"No need to apologize, but you feel alright?"

"Yeah, I've been reminded I should probably shower sometime soon though, that's a little gross."

"People always smell funny to me, so you're good," the sandy blonde added in and Zexion elbowed him in the side. He grinned, showing canines that were just as pointy but not as big as Axel's. Roxas raised a brow at them but ignored it. "I'm Demyx by the way."

"I recognized your voice; I'm Roxas if you didn't already know."

" _Everyone_ knows who you are," Demyx said with a jovial smile.

"Stop," Axel blurted and gave his friend a sideways glare. Roxas looked between them a few times, a little confused. Everyone? What made up everyone? Before he could question any further Demyx jumped up and started waving, Roxas looked behind him and saw Riku give him a little wave back followed by Sora who was looking around with wide curious eyes and hanging onto the back of Riku's shirt timidly. They joined the table shortly after they got their meals. Sora plunked down next to his brother and Riku sat next to Demyx across the way.

"How was your tour?" Sora asked and Roxas shrugged.

"I'm still lost, but at least I have names for most of things I've seen. Did you get one too?"

"Yep, but I'm having the same problem. Did you sign a contract yet?" Sora asked, watching the blonde's face as he shoveled a spoonful of something brown into his mouth.

"Contract?" Roxas asked and looked at Axel, who was just shoving a cube of meat into his mouth. The blonde's stomach twisted and he looked away quickly, heaving a sigh. He hoped the redhead would wash his hands afterward.

"No, he hasn't," Axel said finitely. "I assume Riku got you to sign one for him?" he asked and Sora nodded.

"Yeah. I'll do what I can and try to understand it all."

"You'll be fine," Riku said. "You're already a step up from my previous Charges."

"Why do you say that?"

"You're not dead."

"Oh yeah…" the brunette trailed. "Forgot about that story, sorry."

"Don't worry about it," the passive man said and gave him a smile. He picked at his meat hunks idly. Roxas wanted to question him further. He was under the impression there was only one Charge per Carrier, apparently he was wrong. He wondered how many a Carrier could have and if they could have more than one, why didn't they get as many as they could in order to force their programs to make as much progress as possible in the shortest amount of time? Perhaps it was a quality over quantity problem, but he would ask later just to make sure. The meal continued on at a casual pace with no one making any snide comments to Roxas for his behavior or anything offensive. Sora surprised Roxas with how quiet he was and everyone let Demyx and Axel do the talking, though it was generally between themselves. The younger sibling seemed to be lost in a sea of thought processes and Roxas was a little concerned. He had never seen his brother look so contemplative before, especially without thinking out loud through half of it.

"Are you alright?" he asked and Sora nodded.

"Yeah, just thinking."

"I know, that's why I'm concerned."

"Hey…" the brunette said with a light glare. Roxas nudged him and he smiled a little.

"Seriously? You're okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Okay."

* * *

"Why are we walking again?" Roxas asked. He and Axel were leaving the facility on a little adventure. "I saw a couple of car-looking things and I _know_ I saw a motorcycle back there."

"None of those things are mine. I can carry you if you're going to be a wimp about it."

"As unmanly as it sounds I might take you up on that. Need I remind you I'm not wearing any shoes?"

"And this is why we need to go shopping. Here," Axel said and stopped walking. He stooped down low. "Climb on," he said and Roxas wrapped his arms around his neck and Axel hooked his legs with his arms like stirrups. "Hold on tight, I can run faster than you can," he warned and Roxas took his word for it and wrapped himself tight against the redhead. Axel started to jog. The jogging wasn't the problem for Roxas since the movements were very fluid over the uneven terrain of the street they were on. The problems started when he started to run. It was still very fluid and Axel hardly jostled the blonde around but the sheer speed at which the redhead could move was frightening for Roxas. Not to mention whenever he tried to traverse over something that was bigger than the typical bump, he pushed off into a leap and hit the ground running again. The blonde tried not to choke him to death with his arms but he clung to him for dear life, squeezing his eyes shut. Supposedly the place they were heading to wasn't that far outside of the facility but it was still a good three miles. Just when Roxas thought Axel was running for just the sheer joy of scaring the shit out of him, he slowed and eventually started to walk again, catching his breath. Roxas unclenched his limbs some and sat back, glaring at him.

"What the fuck, dude?" he said angrily. "You said you could run fast not rival a damn train."

"I wasn't, it was way slower than what you're probably thinking but I'm not sure, I've never had a Charge take my statistics before so I don't actually know how fast I can run. I'm not as fast as Demyx at full speed though."

"Oh," the blonde said, taking it for what it was worth. Between that statement and Riku's statement of having no responsibility towards Roxas lead the blonde to believe that though everyone was friends, the didn't share their Charges and Carriers amongst one another and they all stuck to their individualized projects without deviation. Was taking Axel's statistics something that every Charge did for their Carrier? It was understandable; it was sort of difficult to test how fast you were running without an extra set of eyes and hands watching. Continuing on that line of thought, did that mean that Axel was virtually by himself for his entire life? For as anti-social Roxas got to be sometimes, even that didn't seem like very much fun. "So what is this city called anyway?"

"The 'country' which is more like a series of these domes, is called Hollow Bastion. The city itself doesn't have a name per se. They're all numbered. This particular dome is number eight thirteen."

"Oh," Roxas said again and looked around. The city was very low to the ground with only the occasional taller building jutting up. The biggest things in the immediate area were the rock formations in between the cube-shaped houses, shopping districts and other structures. It looked like any other city Roxas had been in aside from the boring building fronts. The streets were concrete with the occasional metal bench, street lights, and the planters they passed were filled with colorful pieces of the rock formation rather than plants. Sometimes they would pass a clock, or a sign or other details but for the most part that was it. The buildings themselves though were obviously purely functional. There wasn't much adornment to them and they tended to consist of simple giant slabs of concrete or stone with holes cut out of them for the metal doors or a hole for a window. "Aren't these people worried about home invasion? There's no glass in the windows. What about the weather?"

"Well, as you can see, there's a dome over us keeping the weather away. As I said before the atmosphere is a little weird outside and the weather does strange things but as long as you're inside you don't have to worry about it. We don't have many plants here so we don't really have insects either. The windows are open because it lets the most light and air flow in because we don't really have wind either. The people here are very trusting of others but you'd have to try and break in to steal something to understand the security systems we have."

"Why do you say that?"

"It'd all be very _James Bond_ to you. I'm talking lasers and beams that can slice your arms off."

"…I find that unlikely."

"If you want proof, you're welcome to come back here later tonight and try it out but I wouldn't advise it. Just take my word for it."

"Fine. I noticed the streets aren't very wide either."

"Right, there aren't many vehicles here. The people that live here are mostly either very successful Carriers and their Charges and families or the Technicians and their families. Some of the people who run the shops are very familiar with the facility but not much of the general public comes into these types of domes. A good five sixths of the populace here has gone through stasis treatments and therefore they don't mind taking a leisurely stroll to get where they need to go, but we have a few vehicles and things for emergency situations. People with a surplus of money tend to have cars, followed by motorcycles, and then Aeros and bikes. If you want something quicker we can ask Ansem for an Aero or something for you, but most Charges are carried by their Carriers so it doesn't usually pose a problem."

"I can see where it would be a problem if a Charge was bigger than the Carrier. Cloud is taller than Leon and Leon still carries him?"

"Cloud has a motorcycle. He also wears thick shoes, so his being taller is mostly because of that. They're pretty close."

"Oh…well damn would that mean if I was taller than you, that I'd get a motorcycle?"

"Or something, but you're not so don't worry about it. Lucky for you, you have the largest feline Carrier."

" _Goody_ ," Roxas said sarcastically in a huff.

"Don't sound so thrilled, you're making me blush," Axel shot back just as sarcastically. "If it makes you feel any better you're the smallest Charge aside from Sora so you can hitch a ride with anyone if they like you enough."

"Okay that's it, I'm done, put me down," the blonde barked and Axel laughed, holding tight. Roxas tried to pry his legs away and the redhead stopped moving just incase he did. The blonde leaned over to the side and grabbed onto the rim of a planter box and tried to pull himself from the other's grip. "Damn it Axel, let go," he growled. Axel gave no warning and abruptly dropped him. Roxas yelped and scraped a knee against the planter as he tried to catch himself. When he could stand and turn around he found a smug smile across the redhead's face and the blonde glowered at him. "You're an ass."

"Oh were we done playing the asshole game?"

"Fuck off," the blonde spat and Axel shrugged, continuing down the street. Roxas caught up and as they passed another planter, he picked up a stone to look over. He didn't know if they were naturally colored the way they were or if there was something artificial to it all, but he liked them. The one he had in his hand was an opaque jagged piece about the size of a playing card but half the width. It was a light orange-y yellow color and it was very glittery and shiny. He squinted at it for a moment then looked at Axel's hair, squinted at it, and then looked at the hair. "Did you make beads out of these for your hair for when you were in Radiant Garden?"

"I did not make them personally but yes, the beads I had were made of those, you're very observant."

"That's what I like to believe anyway," the blonde added and tossed the rock back into another planter. All of the boxes were awash in a rainbow of colors yet the rock formations jutting from the ground tended to be blue or white and Roxas deduced that they did color them artificially. "What happened to all of the beads? Why didn't you put them back?"

"If I change into my Primal form, I lose everything I'm wearing and they would just fall out anyway, so now that you're here and I may have to change on a regular basis, there would be no point in putting them back. Same thing for my piercings."

"Oh."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The store that they entered wasn't anything like Roxas expected it to be. He was expecting to walk in and see rows and aisles filled with products like a normal department store but it was quite the contrary. It looked like someone's home behind a line of small computer setups. The front part was nothing more than an open space with a few chairs and a half wall where the machines sat. Off to the side was a box that Roxas could only assume was the register manned by an incredibly bored looking Asian girl with short dark hair. Behind her was a wide curtained booth and behind that that looked to be a living room setting with simple white seating around a metal coffee table. The girl flipped a page of a book and startled when the door clicked shut. She beamed at them.

"Axel!" she yelled happily and Axel smiled at her.

"Hey Yuffie, what's good?"

"Oh you know, boring old stuff. Nothing bad but nothing really all that good, either," she said with a dismissive wave. She looked to Roxas with a kind smile. "That him?"

"Yep."

"I guess when Demyx said 'everybody' he really meant _everybody_ ," Roxas said and crossed his arms. How many people would recognize him simply because he was following Axel around?

"Tiny little guy isn't he?" Yuffie said with a wink and Roxas' brows furrowed together. "Feisty," she added.

"Yeah, I'm short, so?" the blonde said in annoyance. She shrugged.

"No problem, I'm short too. You can borrow my platform shoes if you want, they'd probably fit you."

"No thanks."

"M'kay," she said and shuffled around behind the half wall for a moment, trying to find something. She reemerged with a measuring tape and an flat black panel of glass and a small writing utensil. A tablet and stylus. She looked Roxas over quickly before crooking her finger at him and nodding towards the curtained booth. "Come with me beautiful," she said and the blonde hesitated, looking at Axel. The redhead went and sat in a chair and pushed his hand out as if to say 'go on!' and Roxas sighed, following the woman behind the wall and into the curtain. There was a metal stool that she sat on. "Get naked, honey."

"Excuse me? I don't think so."

"What, are you afraid my cock is bigger than yours?"

"…What?" Roxas asked, absolutely horrified. With all the new information he was taking in lately, he was just about to accept her statement as fact. That is, until Axel started to laugh from where he was sitting back out front. Yuffie grinned at him.

"You're wearing very loose fitting clothes, babes. Unless you want all of your clothes to be that huge, I suggest you strip or find something smaller to wear. I need to size you."

"Oh is that what we're doing? Because I was beginning to question everyone's motives for wanting me naked," the blonde grumped.

"Did you want me to get naked with you? Because if that's what it takes to make a sale, I could," she said with a smile. Roxas was tempted to agree that it would help just to see if she would do it but something in her expression made him think she was serious. Yuffie noticed his hesitation and stood from her stool, set down her tablet and stylus, and started to tug her shirt up. Roxas startled and lurched forward, pulling the fabric down again.

"No no! That's fine, you don't have to," he blurted quickly, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. She stopped and gave him a smile; he sighed and started to pull off his own shirt. Normally, Roxas simply didn't like to be naked in front of strange people, but getting naked in front of a woman who was just calling him 'little' and 'tiny' not ten minutes prior, turned it into a full out embarrassing blush-fest. Yuffie didn't make a comment though. She simply pushed his limbs around and took the measurements she needed and nodded when she was finished. Roxas quickly pulled his clothing on again, his entire body still a nice shade of pink. He muttered under his breath and kept his eyes low as he shoved the curtain out his way and stomped around to find a seat out front. Axel quirked a brow at him but said nothing. "So where do the clothes come in?" the blonde asked.

"We have to order them. They'll be here in a few days," the redhead said simply. "Once Yuffie puts your measurements in, you'll go up to one of the computers and pick out a few styles you like and boom, shopping's done."

"I can't decide if it's convenient or not. On the one hand you have to order and wait for the clothes but then again you don't have to take the time to try anything on. What about shoes?"

"That's a different store a few blocks down."

"Oh. Where are you getting the money for all of this? Like, aside from the clothes and stuff, what about the cost of the program? Or does currency not exist here?"

"Oh it does," Axel said with a light laugh. "It'd be nice if it didn't. I honestly don't know how the money works, but Ansem allocates a certain amount of Credits towards the sort of venture we're having today, but as far as the program goes? I have no idea. I just know I have a place to live with food to eat and a role to fill."

"Doesn't that make things a little boring? What about entertainment and stuff?"

"I've never really thought about it," the redhead said with a thoughtful face. He shrugged "I guess I'm just a boring guy. We have stuff we can do at the facility but mostly everyone is busy with work so it rarely ever comes up. I for one think the work is entertaining enough."

"That's sort of bland," the blonde remarked. Yuffie was at a computer station poking away at the touch screen monitor, putting Roxas' dimensions into the system.

"It _is_ bland if you don't share a close relationship with whoever you're working with. The work eventually becomes social as well as functional for most everyone, thus making it less tedious."

"I can see where that would be a benefit. You keep making references to 'relationships' and shit, why do I get the feeling that's where you want to end up with me?"

"I'll just say that this," Axel started as he pointed Roxas and then to himself a few times with a flick of his wrist, "this hate/hate relationship we have? It's not normal for Charges and Carriers to be like this. Not everyone is going around being lovey-dovey but at the very least they're good friends. You seem to think that my only prerogative for having you here is for me to ravage your body like a disgusting pervert or something but that's not what it is. We both have roles to play and if you're really just going to make my project a living hell with being so closed minded you may as well just leave because I need to get shit started," he added with a mildly angry tone. Roxas' eyebrows shot up at the sudden turn in the mood.

The blonde was getting the distinct feeling that Axel was losing patience with him. He didn't know how to change it though, he felt the way he felt and no amount of force was going to change it for him. After a lengthy glare from Axel and a sigh, the redhead shook his head some and sat back in his chair. Roxas considered what he had to lose if he was a little less of an asshole to him. There was a resounding 'not much' in the back of his head. He wasn't about to go out of his way to be overly nice and cliché about it but he could accept that he was brought there for a reason and at least help Axel with his project willingly. What that entailed, he still didn't really know and that was the worst part. He was walking blind into something he could genuinely end up hating even if the basic premise was nice enough. He rubbed his temples and then mashed his palms into his eyes a bit with a sigh.

"Alrighty, go ahead and pick out your stuff Roxas. I already put in an order for your uniform and other than that, you have a fourteen outfit limit but not much else restricting you," Yuffie said.

"Uniform?" the blonde asked.

"If we ever need to travel out of this dome for business or whatever, then you need to wear a uniform. Since I am the first and only of my kind, I will get called away occasionally and that means you come too," Axel said simply. "Go on," he urged and pointed to the computer. Yuffie stepped aside and let the blonde have a look. The idea was simple enough. In the middle of the screen was a basic nondescript figure flanked by various types of shirts and pants that one could click and drag onto the figure with a fingertip. There was a button for colors and quantities as well and one for confirmation when he was finished. It took him a while, but Roxas got the hang of it and picked out what he liked from the catalogue. There was an automatic add-in for socks, underwear, and more pajamas which he was thankful for. When he finished, he turned to Axel who had slouched low in his seat and had his head against the backrest with his eyes closed. The blonde nudged his foot with a toe and his eyes slid open slowly.

"Cat nap?" the blonde asked.

"Literally," Axel said. Yuffie snorted.

"That was corny guys," she said and clicked around on her box. "Okay, the expense report is sent, you guys are finished. I'll see you around Axel."

"Bye Yuffie," Axel said and gave her a little wave. She waved back with a smile and he and Roxas made their way back into the street.

"Is she from the facility?"

"No, she's human and lives in the city."

"Oh. There _are_ women at the facility though, right?"

"Of course there are. They're just separate from the males. Most of the women in the facility are Carriers and were born there. There are a few female Charges but not nearly as many as there are male ones simply because high amounts of estrogen make it hard for stasis to stick. There have been instances where women have died shortly after being brought over as was the case with two of Riku's Charges."

"How many others has he had?"

"He's had three total, four if you include Sora."

"What happened to the other ones?"

"Death by stasis and suicide."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah," Axel added melancholically as he pushed open another door a few blocks down from Yuffie's shop. It was the same setup as the previous one, only there was a man behind the counter this time around. The living room scene was a little different and there wasn't a curtain to change behind but the half wall with the computers and chairs were the same. Axel didn't appear to know the man as well as he did Yuffie but then Roxas remembered he didn't wear shoes so he wouldn't have a reason to go there. The blonde was sat in a chair and his feet were measured several times before the man put the statistics in the system, just as Yuffie had done. Roxas was automatically ordered a pair of uniform shoes and was allowed to pick out three more pairs. It took them a little under and hour to finish and they were out in the street again.

"What am I going to do about hygiene stuff? Like I don't have any shampoo or soap aside from what was already in the bathroom."

"There's a storage place at the facility that has all that. Everything is specially made and has a low fragrance because all the Carriers have very sensitive noses so sorry; you're not allowed to smell girly."

"Which is why you said cologne makes your nose itch, I get it," the blonde said, ignoring the sarcastic comment and Axel gave him a smile.

"You're catching on."

"I'm quick like that on some things."

"I'm glad. Ready to head back?"

"Sure."

* * *

In the wee hours of the next morning, Axel sat at the Catalogue terminal in his bedroom, clicking through his Charge list. Since having chosen Roxas and bringing him over, the list had repopulated and to his dismay, it was still hardly anything worth looking at. Instead of three, he had a whopping eight new candidates all of which were nothing special. He sighed. He didn't like his alternatives but if Roxas didn't change his attitude and start working with him, he would have to look elsewhere in order to salvage the project and save himself another eighty years of no progress. Ansem wouldn't be happy if it stalled more than what was necessary but Axel was willing to make it work, Roxas was the problem. There was a knock on his door.

"It's open!" he called since he was attached to the terminal by way of his Link and couldn't get up. Leon came in and stood in the doorway that lead into the computer room. The other man had a lion cub draped over his arm as if the limb was a branch for the little thing to sleep on. Axel had a feeling that's exactly what had happened.

"You called me?" Leon asked and the redhead nodded.

"Do you think it's hopeless?"

"What? Being able to sleep by myself without the kids getting in the way?"

"No, I mean Roxas."

"Oh," Leon took a moment to think about it. "I'm not sure, what makes you think it's unsalvageable?"

"He's totally unresponsive to almost everything," Axel said sadly and eyed the cub. Leon took the hint and shifted the animal around before holding it out by the armpits to him. Axel took the kitten and cuddled it. The cub was totally oblivious to being manhandled and simply lay in the redhead's arms without so much as a noise of protest. Axel sighed, watching it sleep peacefully. "Why is it so much harder for me?"

"I couldn't say, I'm not familiar with your program enough to tell you. Do you have any new candidates that would rival Roxas' potential?" he asked. Axel shook his head lightly.

"Not even close."

"Well unless someone absolutely fantastic comes along I would try to tough it out. Just keep an eye open for anyone new and see how it goes. Who knows? He might brighten up after a week or two."

"Possibly," Axel said. "How do you and Cloud manage?"

"We pick petty fights but there isn't any real animosity between us. It also helps that we've been together for over a hundred and forty years, versus the little less than two months for you and Roxas. Most of that time was spent on his turf, if you recall."

"Yeah I know…did you always fight though? Like, even in the beginning?"

"We did, but it was more of a power struggle and me just trying to get him to comply. Roxas is just outright bigoted in a lot of ways."

"Lucky me," the redhead said with heavy sarcasm. The bundle of fur in his arms stirred lightly before an eye creaked open showing a brilliant aqua. Axel smiled at it and the cub shifted its face around in the crook of his elbow before dozing off again. "That was an amazing color."

"She's actually Teresa and Kale's cub and they're both from Cloud's side more than they are from mine."

"That makes sense. Why do you have her then? Shouldn't she be with her mother?"

"Hell if I know, I just woke up and she was in my face. I have a feeling she got lost and I was the closest."

"Ah, well you can have her back. I might get too attached and not let her go if she stays here too much longer," Axel said with a small smirk and held the cub out to Leon and he replaced her along his arm. "Roxas wants to see someone change, care to offer your services?"

"I don't have much of a preference but he has to be comfortable enough to see me nude. I don't have narrow hips like Demyx so I can't get out of my pants after the fact."

"I have the same problem, I have a huge ass."

"You'll have that," Leon said with a light laugh. "Riku was going to show Sora sometime soon though and he's small enough to do it clothed too. Maybe he'd be more of a better choice."

"Maybe, but I hate it when he does that stupid thing with his tail."

"I know, but it's just the way he is. I'm sure Sora will appreciate the modesty it brings though."

"I envy Riku's ability to make people so comfortable around him."

"Eh… I can take it or leave it," Leon said with a shrug. "Is that all you needed from me? I need to get this one back to her mother," he added as he gave his arm with the cub on it a wiggle. Axel nodded.

"Thanks, I'll try to be more patient."

"It's not just your impatience that's the problem. Roxas is definitely a hindrance at this point but just give him some time."

* * *

A few days passed before the pressure was on to start working. The previous days had been spent in relative secrecy between Roxas and himself. He mostly stayed in his room and watched the time go by, occasionally poking around the computer that he had found behind the other door next to his bathroom. He wanted to know what it did, but he would've had to have asked Axel and he didn't want to be anywhere near the redhead. He would see Axel at meals but he never really deviated from the environment he could call his own. He didn't really talk to anyone, walk around or do anything of any significant importance. His clothes came though and he was busying himself with trying to put them away when he was disturbed by a knock at the door. He had a feeling he knew who it was and took his time answering. To his surprise, it wasn't Axel but Zexion instead.

"Oh. Hi," the blonde said. Roxas didn't mind Zexion, he was the most normal of the people he had met so far in his new life. Leon and Cloud were nice enough to him but the blonde could never be around them for very long without being reminded of Axel's triplex and that whole _wonderful_ scenario. The more curious side of him wanted to know which of them was doing the panting and moaning, but he quickly squelched the thought process.

"Have you seen a cheetah around here?" Zexion asked with a completely serious face and Roxas' eyebrow shot up.

"Uhm, no…" he trailed. Okay maybe Zexion _wasn't_ as normal as Roxas wanted him to be.

"Damn," the other Charge said under his breath. There was a commotion down the hall and they both looked in the general direction of where it was coming from. Roxas let out a yelp as a cheetah came bounding around the corner and lost traction on the hard floor and skidded across the hall. There was a loud echoing ' _thud_ ' as the animal's hips met the wall and Zexion winced. "That didn't sound too good," he said quietly. Roxas hid behind his door and peeked around it. His first instinct was to slam the door shut but he was curious as to why a cheetah was running around in the building in the first place.

"I assume that's yours then?" the blonde asked and the other nodded.

"Yep, that one's mine. Unfortunately he got away from me and I lost sight of him," he confirmed. "Demyx!" he called down the hall and the cheetah's ears twitched before his attention turned to him.

"Demyx? _That's_ Demyx?" the blonde asked in disbelief. The cat tried to steady itself on the floor before making its way carefully down the hall. Roxas shrunk back behind the door more as the animal drew closer. Since the blonde had been ignoring Axel for a better part of the last few days and trying not to talk to him more than he needed to, so he really hadn't gotten much additional information out of him. Deep down, Roxas knew he shouldn't avoid the redhead but he couldn't help himself.

"Of course, who else would it be?" Zexion asked and Roxas shrugged.

"I don't know half of what happens in this place."

"You're behind then; your brother knows more than you do."

" _Really?_ " the blonde asked and his mouth fell open a little. Sora was never the one to get ahead in things. Roxas had always been first in most everything they did together. He was automatically jealous. He had to rectify that, there was no way _Sora_ was going to beat him at this. His blood started to boil as he got angrier with himself for being such a recluse. Demyx had wandered his way to them and sat on the tiles gently. Zexion moved around him and crouched low to feel the animal's hips. Roxas took in the cat, completely fascinated. "Demyx?" he asked quietly, just to confirm. The cheetah looked at him and Roxas recognized the cowlicked hairstyle-like line going down his neck and the aquamarine of his eyes. "Whoa…" he said to himself in a voice barely above a squeak. The fact that the cat wasn't ripping anyone to pieces was proof enough that it was at least tame, if not really Demyx himself.

"You haven't seen anyone change yet?" Zexion asked, his hands pressed under the crooks of Demyx's hips.

"No…"

"I see," he said with a suspicious tune, alluding again to the fact that Roxas was behind in his progress. Demyx twitched and let out a light yip; he turned and looked at Zexion who had apparently squeezed a sore spot. The Charge stood and shook his head. "Why are you inside to begin with, I wonder. Up," he ordered and Demyx gingerly pushed himself up into a standing position again. Roxas watched with critically observing eyes as the Charge smoothed his hands over the animal's hips again feeling around for anything abnormal. Was Axel expecting him to be able to do the same things? Zexion patted the cat's rump. "Well we'll leave you alone, I need to take him back to the track before he hurts himself even more. We'll see you later," he said and Roxas waved a little as they left; Demyx walking calmly beside his Charge.

The blonde closed his door gently and itched his scalp, taking in all that he had seen. He had seen cheetahs on television before but never in person. He had also seen tigers in the zoo and he knew that they were the biggest kind of cat around. The scale difference between Demyx and a tiger would be staggering, and Roxas wasn't sure he was entirely comfortable with the idea of working with such an animal so closely. Then again if the dreams Axel made him have were any indication of what it would be like, then he could probably deal with it. Then again, they were dreams induced by an outside party and the redhead could've been making it all up. It was a thought to keep in the back of his mind but he would have to experience it in order to be sure. He quickly put the rest of his clothing away before leaving his room and heading towards the lab. Axel was there, clicking away at a computer monitor with a cord coming from his mouth and into the machine. His eyes flicked to the blonde, acknowledging his presence but he stayed silent.

"Um, hi," Roxas said sheepishly, keeping his reclusive actions in the back of his mind and knowing that Axel probably wasn't happy with him.

"Hello," Axel said in return. "Decided to stop being a hermit?"

"Yeah. I just saw Demyx."

"He _does_ live here."

"No no, I mean I _saw_ him. He's a cheetah."

"I'm aware of that," the redhead deadpanned. He continued with whatever he was doing, ignoring the blonde. Roxas stood off to the side and shifted his weight uncomfortably. He knew he had to stop being a dick, and he wanted to but he didn't know what to say. He figured he could try the indirect approach.

"So what do Charges do officially?"

"Are you telling me you want to start working?"

"I'm asking you out of curiosity."

"Fine," Axel said and clicked a few things before pulling the cord from his lips. He pushed his chair across the floor until he made it to a metal desk. He yanked open a drawer and pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to Roxas. The blonde blinked and look at them.

"What's this?"

"Your contract. Read it."

"You won't just tell me?"

"Why should I waste the time if I'm just going to have to replace you? You can look that over and decide for yourself. If you don't like it, leave."

"You're going to replace me?" Roxas asked in shock. He knew he shouldn't have been very surprised considering how much he was putting the redhead through just by being an ass but the news was still startling, especially since Axel said it with such a casual tone.

"I was considering it, yes. My resources are limited and I'm losing my patience so I'll have to make due with whatever is second best unless I want to wait another hundred years for your ass to dissolve that stick it has lodged in it."

"Wh—I didn't think you could just up and decide to replace me. I thought I was the only one unless I died or something."

"Oh no, I have a few other choices. It's almost like a job interviewing process. You have the worst attitude but the most potential. I may have to sacrifice some of that skill in favor of someone who bothers to show up and say hello to me every other day," the redhead said with a blank but tense face.

"I thought you were going to wait for me."

"I was willing to wait when you seemed a little more willing to adapt. But then after we went shopping I didn't see you very much and I'm sorry but I feel like you've taken advantage of my patience and my kindness. I've done nothing to hurt you and I'm still trying to figure out if it's me who's in the wrong or if it's you. I'm leaning towards both, personally; my fault for making a poor choice but your fault for being awful."

"I-I've never been rejected before…" Roxas trailed as he stared blankly at the papers in his hands. He had always excelled in academics and never switched part-time jobs enough to have the opportunity for rejection. He had the same job over the past few summers since he started when he was sixteen. He was never rejected when asking a girl out on a date, and when he had his last girlfriend, he had left her and not the other way around. This was a new concept.

"Well have some humble pie. I have work to do so if you don't mind, you should probably leave," the redhead said and started to pull his chair across the room again. As he was moving past Roxas the blonde stuck his foot out and halted the movement. Axel looked at him, his eyes full of indecision and hurt which betrayed his annoyed face.

"…Where do I sign?" the blonde asked quietly. The redhead blinked and furrowed his brows together.

"You're going to sign it without reading it? What guarantee do I have that you actually give two shits about this? How do I know you're not just jumping the gun because you don't like rejection?"

"You don't have a guarantee. What are the consequences if I don't abide by it?"

"You'd be barred from using the stasis chambers and would be exiled from this dome."

"Holy shit this is legal binding?" Roxas said and flipped through the pages idly.

"Yes. This is a serious project. If you accept it, you have a lot of responsibilities as my Charge and if you shirk them just because you don't like me, it can have serious consequences for the both of us. You don't have to be perfect but you _better_ pull your shit together and grow up a little."

"Sora signed one of these too, right?"

"Yes. Don't turn it into a sibling rivalry thing though. Think for yourself for a minute and look it over. Come back when you've made your decision," Axel said, his voice a little less piercing. He pulled the chair out from under Roxas' shoe and went back to his computer. He re-plugged himself in and started working. The blonde hesitated and watched him for a moment before looking down at the papers. He picked up a pen before heading through the doors quietly and back into his room, flipping through the pages as he walked. He didn't want to read it all and even with just glancing through it he knew he wouldn't understand everything. Signets and change codes? What were those? What was an Implant form? He didn't get it but if Sora could trust these people, Roxas supposed he would be less of a man if he couldn't. He didn't know what a Link was, what the Mainframe Catalogue was, and who Ansem was exactly but he'd find out eventually if Axel decided to keep him.

He was scared of what kind of life he would have if he didn't have one at the facility. He would age normally after another twenty years if he didn't do the stasis but he didn't know anything outside of what he had experienced so far and he figured the safest bet would be to stay put. In addition to the sure thing of housing, food, and a job, he was definitely convinced he could have amazing opportunities in the field of Genetics with the technology they had. Maybe after this whole animal deal was over, he would discover something new and more exciting to do. He would be restoring a destroyed world and continue on into ever greater things afterwards. That had to be something, right? Right. Hopefully Axel would explain in detail later.

He signed. Then he went back and flipped through the papers to check and see if he needed to sign anywhere else. There were a few places for a date but he didn't even know what day of the week it was so he left it blank. After he was finished, he did one last check before pushing off of his bed and wandering through the halls again and back into the lab. Axel was still at the computer but he was watching the screen intently, reading something rather than typing. When the doors swung together behind Roxas the redhead glanced his way again before refocusing on the screen. The blonde took that as a clear hint that he wasn't wanted at the moment and set the papers on a table with the pen before leaving again. He went back to his room and flopped onto his bed, smashing his face into the pillow. He wondered where Sora's room was and figured he probably should've asked that a long time ago.

He was reminded yet again of how much of an asshole he was. He didn't even bother to ask his brother where he was staying and for all he knew Sora could be thinking he didn't give a rat's ass about him. He sighed. He then thought about his parents. Once again he was an asshole for forgetting about them so easily. He groaned to himself. This whole 'sitting in his room by himself' business wasn't turning out so well this time around as he was letting his thoughts wander into unhappy territory. He couldn't go back home, and he couldn't change the fact that he had neglected his brother. There was no use for sitting around and wallowing in how much he missed his friends and family because even if by some miracle he could go back, they wouldn't remember him. He figured he was better off pushing it away and not thinking about it. There was a knock on his door and he welcomed the distraction. It was Axel.

"Thank you," he said simply.

"For what?"

"For not being hopeless."

"Oh. No problem, I sort of like the idea of not being hopeless."

"That's a healthy way to be."

"I'm sorry I'm such a dick," the blonde said, peering up at Axel through his bangs.

"Well your profile made you out to be headstrong but I wasn't entirely prepared for the maelstrom. I suppose I could have handled it a little better but I will agree that it's all mostly your fault."

" _Thanks_ ," he responded sarcastically and Axel gave him a smirk.

"Are you adapting alright otherwise, though?"

"Well I've come to the conclusion that I've been neglecting my brother and that I suck for forgetting about my parents. I haven't really thought about them or my friends so I haven't really dealt with it I guess."

"Sora's fine. Riku is keeping him busy and extremely confused most of the time so I'm sure he hasn't had much of an opportunity to catch the neglect. As far as your parents and friends? I couldn't say. Maybe you just need a little time to let it all sink in. If you need to talk to someone like a therapist though, let me know and I can set you up with someone."

"Okay. I was never one for therapy though. I tend not to let myself get to that point."

"Well don't give yourself a tumor in the process; all that mental squashing can't be good. I wouldn't know though, I technically don't have parents like you do and I've never had to leave my friends," Axel said and he shrugged.

"How did you get put together? You obviously have DNA from _somewhere_."

"My human donors were in fact Scandinavian, while my Totem is mostly from India and those areas. So I'm all kinds of weird tossed together but I won't get into serious specifics right now. It'll come, but I need to process your contract and get a bunch of other stuff done. I just wanted to thank you."

"Oh. Why was I ordered a uniform before I signed the contract? Isn't that jumping the gun a little?"

"Indeed it is. But we're never had a Charge refuse or get replaced before without something happening to them so I was just going off of assumption."

"Haven't you ever heard the phrase, 'to assume makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'?" Roxas asked mockingly. Axel snorted quickly before laughing.

"Very good. At least I know you pay attention. Are you going to prove my assumption wrong just to make a point?"

"No. I'm here to stay."

"Glad to hear it. Tomorrow we can start getting down to business. Ansem is coming by in the morning to do some monthly checks and things but you don't actually have to be awake for that if you don't want to be. You should probably say hello though, so just keep that in mind."

"Okay. Can I ask you a random question?"

"Sure, those are my favorite kind."

"How tall are you?"

"Six feet, four inches."

"Holy fuck, okay," the blonde said and rested his head on the side of the door.

"Why?"

"Just curious. All I succeeded in doing was making myself feel shorter. You're over a foot taller than I am, that's ridiculous."

"I apologize?" Axel asked with raised eyebrows and a smile.

"Don't worry about it, obviously you're taller than me but I didn't know how much and asking was a totally ineffective way of helping me cope with the size difference," Roxas said with a sigh.

"Napoleon complex?"

"Maybe just a little."

"That explains a lot."

"Don't push it," the blonde warned and sent him a glare. Axel chuckled.

"Okay. Goodnight Roxas."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Roxas had made the effort to go to bed early so he would wake early. Not having a proper clock was making things difficult though since apparently he didn't realize just how early he had been for both occasions. The sun was barely in the sky by the time he was showered, dressed and ready to start the day. There was always someone awake and working though, so he wasn't really concerned about looking weird for being up at dawn. The biggest surprise he found when he opened the door was just how many people were crowded around the door into his and Axel's lab. What's more, there was upbeat music echoing down the hall and someone was singing.

"… _And I know someday that it'll all turn out_  
you'll make me work so we can work to work it out  
and I promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get  
I just haven't met you yet…"

The blonde looked around questionably at the walls and ceilings for some sort of speaker system he might have been missing. The volume of whoever was singing made it seem like it was coming from all directions. He made his way towards the people in front of the lab. As he grew closer the volume increased and he was suddenly overcome with an extra body to carry as Demyx threw himself on his back. Roxas let out a surprised yelp as he staggered forwards under the extra weight. He was about to protest when the sandy blonde covered his mouth with a hand and leaned into Roxas' ear.

"Sshhh… I'm trying to listen," he shushed quietly and Roxas' furrowed his brows.

"… _I might have to wait._  
I'll never give up.  
I guess it's half timing,  
And the other half's luck.  
Wherever you are.  
Whenever it's right.  
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life…"

There was mild clapping and some laughs coming from the other people and the blonde trudged onward as Demyx clung to him. The weight was alleviated when Zexion pulled Demyx away, much to Roxas' delight. The blonde shot them a questioning look and they both smiled. They cleared the rest of the distance to the lab and wormed their ways to the front of the small gathering and Roxas raised a brow at the sight.

Axel was the singing culprit. All of the tables, chairs and equipment that was once in the middle of the lab had been shoved to the perimeter and the redhead had Sora by the hand and was forcing the unsuspecting brunette to dance with him. As tone deaf as he was, Roxas could still appreciate the quality of the redhead's voice but he was still a little disturbed as to why he was singing and forcing his younger sibling to dance in the first place. Axel twirled Sora around and let go of him, sending the brunette staggering off to the side as the redhead reached around behind another piece of equipment where someone else was apparently standing. Riku was twirled into Axel's chest and the redhead dipped him backwards, grinning.

"… _And I know that we can be so amazing._  
And baby your love is gonna change me.  
And now I can see every possibility…"

"Isn't he good?" Demyx asked with sparkling eyes and a wide smile. "I love it when Axel sings." It was obvious to anyone that was watching that Axel and Riku had done this before because the silveret wasn't as awkward in his movements as Sora had been. They matched each other well, Riku letting the redhead fling him around in a dance that seemed part swing and part waltz. It was entertaining enough to watch but Roxas was extremely confused. Sora's face rivaled his with the same expression. The blonde walked to his brother, his steps silenced behind Axel's crooning. The music slowed as Axel repeated the chorus in a somber tone and he held Riku close, petting his silken hair with overly exaggerated cliché fondness in his face.

"What's going on?" Roxas asked and Sora shrugged.

"We just came to say 'hello' and the music was already on as he was working. He was dancing a little before but then _this_ happened. I think I have whiplash," the brunette said and rubbed his head. The song ended shortly after and Axel stopped singing but he continued dancing with Riku.

"You're such a charmer," Riku said to the redhead sarcastically but with a light laugh as he was dipped back again, being steadied with strong arms around his waist.

"Me next!" Demyx cried and shot forward with Zexion on his heels. The other people around the entrance started to dissipate. Axel let Riku stand and back away before he held out a hand and Demyx let out a giggle and took it. "Be careful with my butt," the sandy blonde warned and Axel stopped whatever movement he was about to do and gave him a suspicious look.

"Uh… okay can I ask why?" he asked with a spreading grin.

"I crashed into the wall yesterday and I have a bruise the size of a melon on my ass and my side."

"What were you doing inside?"

"Looking for Zexion, but I couldn't get any traction. The sliding part was fun but the wall part wasn't so much," Demyx added with an embarrassed grin. Axel dropped his hand and snorted.

"That's really terrible. How's the wall?"

"Fine. I think. I dunno, I didn't check."

"It's cracked," Zexion said simply. "You're lucky you didn't break a hip."

"I'm not _that_ old. Good gravy," Demyx huffed.

"How fast were you going?" Riku asked.

"I dunno. What's with all the badgering? I'm sorry! I'll apologize to the wall later," the sandy blonde cried with furrowed brows. Roxas and Sora watched the exchange with wide eyes. "Is it breakfast time yet?" he asked abruptly, hoping to steer the conversation away from his mishap. Zexion looked at his watch with a light nod. "Okay good. I'm out of here," the sandy blonde said and they left together, giving everyone light waves before they disappeared around the doorframe.

"So why was everyone dancing, now?" Roxas asked.

"Sorry, I got a little carried away," Axel said with a smile, as if it explained everything. "I was just excited that we get to start working today."

"Oh."

"Then we came to say 'good morning' and got swept into it," Riku said. Sora nodded.

"What was with the crowd?"

"If you couldn't tell, Axel's acoustics are _fantastic_ ," Riku said. "Not only in volume but in quality. So yes, he draws a crowd whenever he starts up."

"Okay that's enough…" Axel said with a light blush. "Did you eat yet?" he asked, looking at Roxas. The blonde shook his head. "Let's get something to eat, and then get started." The four of them made their way out of the lab and off towards the cafeteria. Sora looked to be deep in thought again and Roxas lagged behind the two Carriers in order to keep his brother in his peripheral vision. He nudged the brunette.

"What's up?" he asked and Sora shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Riku says he wants to show me his Primal form, but I'm a little apprehensive. He says he isn't very big, like some of the other ones and it isn't all that scary but I'm still unsure. I suppose I have to though, since I signed the contract."

"I'm waiting for Axel to show me. I'm still a skeptic of the whole idea, even after I saw Demyx yesterday. Though, he wasn't around when the cheetah ran into the wall so him having a bruise there is probably less of a coincidence than I'd like to admit."

"Yeah. Riku says that if I work out a little I could probably carry his Primal around, that's how small he is."

"The snow leopard at the zoo was only about seventy-five pounds."

"How much is Axel supposed to weigh?"

"A cubic fuckton," Axel called over his shoulder. Riku laughed.

"He's fat," the silveret remarked and the redhead shrugged.

"Seriously Sora? I'm a little over six hundred."

"Whoa," the brunette said and looked to Roxas. "Don't let him sit on you."

"If we ever get to that point, I'm getting impatient," the blonde said.

"Implant first, Primal later," Axel said, waving a casual hand in the air.

"Implant?" Roxas questioned.

"Human form."

"Oh." He didn't like the sound of that.

* * *

"So where do you want to do this?" Axel asked as he shuffled around in the desk in the lab. He pulled out an electronic tablet and a stylus, handing them to the blonde. Roxas was confused but tried to not let on just how lost he was feeling. "We can do it here, my room, your room, it doesn't matter really. I'd just prefer if we can do this behind closed doors but other than that, it's your choice." The blonde swallowed thickly. The way Axel was phrasing his questions made it seem like whatever they were going to do was something Roxas was going to get horribly uncomfortable doing.

"What are we doing again?"

"You need to study me."

"Doing what?"

"Maybe 'study' isn't the best word. You need to become familiar with both of my forms in order to do your job efficiently. Since you're human, we can start with my Implant form since it'll be more familiar. I'll explain to you how it all works but you do in fact have to observe and touch me to a certain degree in order to keep up."

"Wait wait wait, I have to touch you?"

"Did you really not read your contract?"

"I did… sort of. But I couldn't understand half of it. There were terms in it I didn't understand and when it said stuff about 'Implant' and 'maintenance' I assumed you had something stuck inside you like a machine or whatever I'd have to take a screwdriver to every now and again."

"Well this is going to get really awkward isn't it?"

"If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting then yes, it's going to be terrible. I don't want to touch you."

"Okay…" Axel trailed and let out a long breath, thinking. "Well I suppose we don't have to start there, though it is usually best to start at the beginning, yes?"

"It is, but if we can do something different for a minute until I can process this, that'd be appreciated," the blonde said with a leery look. He really didn't like the idea of having to feel the redhead up just for the sake of making sure everything was working properly. From what he could gather, it would eventually become a weekly process and he wanted to take his time trying not fry himself with the visuals.

"Let's see," the redhead started and looked around the lab for a moment. "We can do the Signet, but there really isn't much else to do that's in neutral territory like that. My change code involves my Primal and then it's on to the details you're trying to avoid."

"What's the Signet?"

"The Signet is what keeps us connected. It'll also be your way of connecting into the Catalogue, that giant computer in your room and the one that changes my hair color. It's also used to log your data, communicate with me, tell the time, and a whole bunch of other useful things. Now, the Signet for me is completely different. It's my connection to you, and it's what allows me to change, that's it. I don't get fancy bells and whistles."

"Oh."

"Zexion hangs onto Demyx' Signet because if Demyx had his way, he'd never change back."

"And that would be a problem?"

"Yes. We can only stay in our Primal forms for so long before we tire out and start to fry ourselves. Changing between forms on a semi-regular basis is important because it keeps our two strains of DNA from degrading and burning out over the course of our lives. I don't like my Primal form very much so I tend to ignore my change for longer periods but we can't really go for over a year without causing any serious harm. Once we get started though, you'll have to do checkups on me twice a week. One for my Implant, one for my Primal. I need you more for the Primal form simply because I lose my fingers and can't hold a stylus, but you need to be familiar with my Implant as well because you'll be the one to take care of me if something happens to me."

"What would happen to you?"

"Anything really. I'll live forever like you but I can still get shot just as easily or be attacked or even poached."

"Poached? Like taken for your fur?"

"Yes."

"That's awful. Who does that?"

"It's become more of a black market thing to see who can get Primal furs. It's illegal, just like 'natural' poaching is but it's more heightened and taken far more seriously because of the rarity of some Primals and the effort one would have to go through to get one. A lot of people don't consider us human as far as rights and things go and we're viewed as precious commodities just like any other minority or endangered animal."

"Wow, I had no idea."

"Just because you're in a new place doesn't mean people aren't the same, Roxas. Never forget that otherwise you could make some very poor decisions."

"Yeah, I guess I just sort of let it slip away from my mind. It seems so secure here."

"This dome in particular is one of the safer ones, yes. But the world hasn't changed much as far as societies go. There is still greed and unlawfulness everywhere. Anyway, did you want to do the Signet? It's not going to take very long so you're really just delaying the inevitable."

"Yeah, let's do that. How does it connect us exactly?"

"It's really like a microchip that pays attention to our nervous systems and it's constantly sending waves back and fourth between the two sensors to make sure that the homeostasis is in tact. If one of us is hurt or having a problem, the other will be able to tell and we can find each other. It's not going to like… tell me if you stub your toe or something trivial like that but it'll make sure you're not dying or anything. It'll tell me if your arm is broken or you're being tortured or raped or something equally as horrible."

"…Do you really expect all of that to happen to me?" the blonde asked with a look of horror.

"Of course not, but you need to remember that this isn't its only function for you. Our roles are supposed to be set up on a give-give type of relationship. You help my program with keeping up maintenance on me and giving me the genetic material I need. I provide protection for you if you need it as well as a job, resources, and the success you crave so much. So in order for it to be effective we both need to be safe."

"Protection?"

"Yes. You're pulled from another plane, another world essentially. You need someone to keep you safe," Axel said with a cheerful smile. "There're a lot of unknowns in this world for you."

"I see. So I'm not really going to be running the program with you? I'm just acting as your caretaker?"

"You can if you want. It's set up so it can be run with just me if it needs to be, but you're more than welcome to help; it's actually encouraged."

"Okay good."

"You still need to learn the basics though, but we have time. Come on," Axel urged and headed towards the back of the lab. "You're not afraid of needles are you?" he asked.

"So long as I'm prepared for it, I'll be fine," Roxas said. He stood off to the side by a table as Axel fussed around a small cabinet, pulling out a small box. He set it on the table in front of Roxas and opened it to reveal a small silver capsule-like object as well as a silver bead with a post on the back like an earring. The redhead left to dig around the cabinet some more before pulling out an enormous syringe that was more needle than anything else. It wasn't so much the length Roxas was concerned about but the girth. He set the weapon aside and went to wash his hands quickly before slipping on a pair of gloves. Roxas was wondering where the needle was supposed to go, and none of the places he was envisioning was doing much to untie the knot in his gut. Axel came back with a small smile. "You said needle, not harpoon. Where is this going exactly?"

"Under your tongue."

"Excuse me?" the blonde asked with a raised brow. That was the last place he had expected it be poked.

"Under your tongue," he repeated. He pulled the plunger out of the back of the syringe and took up the tiny capsule before popping it in the tube and replacing the plunger. "You'll get something like a watch to wear that hooks up to this but the sensor needs to go somewhere where it'll be protected and is near a bunch of nerves. I'm pretty sure you don't want me to put this in your scrotum."

"You're right. That sounds like an absolutely horrible alternative."

"Good, go ahead and sit and when you're ready, open up," the redhead said simply. Roxas eyed the syringe suspiciously before taking a seat. He swallowed all the excess saliva he had in his mouth before begrudgingly pulling his jaws open. Axel stuck his fingers in his mouth and pulled his tongue to the side. He positioned the needle accordingly and gave the blonde a countdown of '3, 2…1' before Roxas sucked in a pained breath at the tremendous pinch. It was over in seconds and he was released but the pain stuck around. He grumbled unhappily. Axel gave him a smile before tossing the syringe in the garbage followed by his gloves. "Did you want me to do mine or did you want the chance to give me a pinch?"

"What do you mean?"

"I already have my sensor under my tongue but I have to permanently affix my change code mechanism. The charm I used to have in my hair was a temporary way of hanging onto it," Axel said as he reached behind his ear where his colorfully woven tail of hair used to be. "Once it's permanent you'll be able to tell when I change if you aren't in the immediate area. I'll be wearing mine like an earring. In reality it isn't completely permanent, but it's not supposed to be taken off afterward. Unless you're Demyx."

"I thought your piercings fell out when you changed."

"This one is special. It's part of the Signet, which is what allows me to change if you recall so it simply changes with me."

"So you're going to have a permanent stud in your ear? Regardless of form?"

"That's the idea. I'll let you stick me if you want."

"That's okay, I'll pass. Thanks for the opportunity though, it is tempting," the blonde remarked with a smug smirk. His tongue was throbbing and he had a feeling it was going to be hugely swollen by the time the day was over. Other than that though, he couldn't really tell it was there. Axel shrugged and took up the little silver ball. Roxas was expecting him to go about finding a piercing gun but he didn't and just shoved the stud through his earlobe. The blonde winced for him; the redhead didn't look fazed as he screwed on the backing.

"That's it?" Roxas asked. Axel shook his head and took up the little box that had held everything. He pulled up the foam bedding that held the stud and the capsule before and took out a watch. He handed it to Roxas.

"Turn it on, and there should be a little circle on the screen as it synchs up with everything. It'll show you the time once it's finished. _Then_ we'll be done."

The blonde looked at the watch closely. It was simple and black with a square face. It was entirely digital and had only a few buttons on the side as well as a place for a small plug. He poked the biggest button and the little device blinked to life, showing a very clear digital interface much like what he had seen the computer terminals use. Just as Axel had said, there was a small grey circle spinning in the corner. It was just a short wait before the screen blinked again and showed the time. He didn't feel any different than before and he was happy about that. He was worried that he'd be able to literally _feel_ Axel standing off to the side or some weird sensation of synching up to him mentally. He then had a thought.

"Okay so, if I get all my alerts and stuff about you breaking limbs and stuff on here," he started as he hooked the watch around his wrist, "where do you get the ones about me?" Axel smiled and poked his own temple.

"Right here."

"Directly into your head?" the blonde asked with a questioning brow. The redhead nodded.

"Yep. I'm partly synthetic, remember? My brain has a bunch of extra do dads and thingies in it. I can explain that later."

"That has to feel weird."

"I honestly don't know what it feels like and let's hope I never have to know. Did you want me to break your arm and test it out?"

"No, I'm good."

"Alright, are you ready to start the inevitable?"

"No."

"Well sorry, but we have to. Where would you like to go?"

"I-I don't care…" Roxas said and fidgeted in his seat. He wasn't looking forward to this process. He understood why it was important to get familiar with Axel but he didn't want to know his body _that_ well. He had to become proficient with it otherwise if there was a problem, how else was he supposed to help? If there was something bothering the redhead such as a mysterious pain somewhere, it was the blonde's responsibility to figure out what it was and fix it. If his body was really as complex as Roxas thought it was, he would have to make a serious effort to study him.

"We can do it in your room. So you're a little more comfortable in your own space."

"Okay," Roxas said quietly and pushed off of his seat. They headed towards the doors and he grabbed the tablet and stylus before following Axel into the hall and towards his room. Once inside, the redhead spread himself across the bed and looked at him expectantly. The blonde closed the door and hesitated. "You're sure I'm the only one who can do this? You guys don't have a nurse or something that takes care of these things?"

"What would be more efficient; a bunch of singular people who specialize in the individual or a few people who know some things about some stuff and _might_ be able to handle _most_ things?"

"Point taken. I'm just really uncomfortable with this. I was going to school to be a Geneticist not a Physician," Roxas said quietly.

"You don't have to be a Physician just yet, this is only the beginning."

"You're going to guide me through this, right?"

"Of course. I've been doing my own maintenance for a long time now but with probably with half the efficiency as having someone else do it. That's the whole point to having a team. It's a series of checks and balances like that. I'm supposed to give you checkups too when you feel you need them, but I doubt you want to start that just yet."

"Oh…you're right, I really don't." Roxas took an uneasy seat on the bed. He was nervous. His heart sped up some and he kept his eyes averted away from the redhead. A stranger was in his bed with him. Well, not an entire stranger, but someone he didn't necessarily want to be so close with. The predicament was made worse and he could feel his palms start to sweat when Axel sat up a little and pulled off his shirt, tossing it aside. The redhead rolled onto his stomach.

"Okay, come here," he said and Roxas hesitated again for a moment before pulling himself to his side. "We can start with the most important part of me," Axel said and the blonde quirked a brow, blushing a little with the possibilities of what that statement could mean. Axel propped himself up on his elbows and held his hands up over his shoulders. "Give me your hands," he said and the blonde scooted towards him and gave them up. The redhead pulled him forward so he was leaning over with his arms draped on either side of Axel's head from behind. The redhead pushed his fingers into the soft flesh under his jaw. Everything felt normal until he brushed against something small and hard and he startled a little. "Feel that?" Axel asked, his voice vibrating across Roxas' fingertips.

"Yeah."

"That's my Link. Now if you follow it back," Axel continued and pushed Roxas' fingers back, tracing a line along the path the hard spot continued. It went from his jaw, back into his hair into the base of his skull. "Now follow my spine," the redhead said and Roxas pushed his fingers down his back, feeling the hardened path branch off to either side of his spinal chord as it went all the way down his torso, following each bump and curve of his spine. "The Link is very important. It's essentially a second nervous system for me. When I have that chord coming from my mouth, it's actually plugged into my back tooth and that's how I access the Catalogue and can do everything I need to do. When you were dreaming about my Primal form handing off an earpiece to you, that was another use for my Link. We can communicate that way if you have something you want from me while I'm changed. I can understand your words normally but you can't understand me obviously so that's how we get around that problem."

"So wait, that crown on the tiger's tooth was actually your Link?"

"Right."

"Hang on," Roxas said and moved around to Axel's face. "Let me see," he said and Axel hooked a finger in his mouth and pulled his cheek away, opening his jaws as wide as he could. Roxas pushed his face into the light and sure enough, there was a silver tooth in the back of his mouth with a little red light coming out of the side. The blonde squinted at it and released him before squinting at his watch. "I have the same plug on this thing."

"Right, that's how you use the Catalogue since you have no use for a Link like me. This thing can be used to run complete physicals on all my internal workings via the computers as well. I'm probably about due for one; I haven't had one since my initial exam shortly after I was matured."

"Matured? Like you weren't born?"

"I wasn't birthed, no. I fell out of a tube; that was my whole mothering process."

"…I probably shouldn't feel bad for you but I do for some reason," Roxas said quietly and Axel shrugged.

"It's not like I was born and grew up with a terrible parenting experience. I simply skipped the whole childhood process and went straight to twenty-four."

"I'm a little envious of some of the details concerning that but at the same time I can say that I would be very upset if I missed my childhood. I could've lived without middle school though, that was an awful time," Roxas said and took a minute to absorb the information Axel had provided him. "So what else should I know?"

"There's no delicate way to say it but the second most important parts of me are my genitals," Axel said bluntly and Roxas' eyes got a bit bigger.

"Uh…"

"Now I know what you're thinking and you don't have to do anything with them right now, just know that they're there and they're important. I need to be able to give samples of my own DNA for the projects just like you do. It's also where my model number is."

"You have a model number? On your dick?" the blonde asked with a disgusted face.

"Under my scrotum, yes. If you don't believe me, I can show you."

"No, that's fine. I believe you. Did they like… tattoo it to you? Wasn't that painful?'

"It was printed into my skin and no I didn't feel it. Another important detail is that one of my testicles is used to contain my human sperm while the other holds my Totem's."

"Does that mean you have two prostates?"

"No. I have a larger one than normal humans have but the functionality is split between two parts. This is where the Link comes in and it keeps the balance between my human side and my Totem side in check. Things that would need a dual purpose for the sake of the project such as my reproductive organs are controlled by the Link in order to keep my body from destroying itself. I also have a second circulatory system underneath my first one that keeps Totem DNA laced blood pumping through me as well as a fortified respiratory system to keep it all going. Blood and semen are the only two DNA samples I can give for the project. My hair is artificial so it doesn't have DNA, as is my saliva and skin so those options are out as well."

"You said reproductive organs like you can have natural children."

"I can. I'm half as fertile as a normal human would be even if I produce the same amount of semen though, since inter species babies can't be made naturally and my testicles would still be split performance wise in that respect," Axel said simply. Roxas made a curious face as he tried to picture two layers of blood vessels under Axel's skin and the split functions of all of his other organs. It was a fascinating concept.

"You don't have two skeletons though. One to produce your human blood and one to produce the Totem blood; how does that work?"

"I have very thick bones. The Link separates the two types out when it's being produced."

"I want to dissect you…" the blonde said idly and Axel snorted.

"No thanks. I'm okay staying in one piece," he said with a smile. He rolled onto his back and pulled Roxas' hands over to squish them into his abdomen. "You're welcome to poke around though," he said. "You're going to have to get familiar just by touch anyway to make sure everything is in its proper place, you may as well start now."

"Okay…" Roxas said with continued uneasiness in his voice. "So if you were never actually birthed, why do you have a belly button?" he asked and jabbed the divot with a finger causing the redhead to twitch and let out a grunt.

"Aesthetics. A lot of the details I have are mostly so I look like a normal human and don't scare the shit out of my Charge. Nipples, a navel, body hair, nails, regular head hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes, all of it is superficial for the most part but I have it so I blend with everyone else."

"Right because bright red hair is so incredibly normal," he kneaded into the redhead's stomach, feeling his various internal organs. He didn't really know what he was feeling but he didn't exactly feel anything weird either. He did notice that Axel's skin was incredibly warm; much warmer than his own and attributed that to his dual circulatory systems.

"Demyx picked that one out. I picked my eye color though."

"I didn't know you can change that."

"Yep. In theory I can change my skin color too like I can change my tattoos."

"Wait so you really did turn off your tattoos before?'

"Yes. I also didn't lie about my pheromone laced soap."

"…What was the point of that one?"

"It got your attention, didn't it?"

"True, but the way you dressed also got my attention."

"But the soap was a positive attention I found out."

"Ye—" Roxas was about to agree with him but stopped himself. He remembered his infatuation with Axel when he was smelling the way he did and blushed a little, pulling his hands away from him. "I'm not gay," he said angrily, furrowing his brows together in a glare.

"I never said you were."

"Yeah but pheromones are used for attraction."

"I was using them to get your attention. If you were attracted to me that's entirely on you…are you?" the redhead asked cautiously with a slightly raised brow.

"Of course not!" Roxas said a little too quickly for his liking. He pushed himself off of his bed and scooped up the redhead's shirt from the floor. He threw it at him. "Put your shirt back on unless there's something else that's glaringly important I need to know for today."

"Today? We've only been working for like two hours, you can't tell me you're finished for the day."

"I'm considering it," he huffed and crossed his arms grumpily. "I don't need you calling me a queer, that's for damn sure."

"I didn't."

"You basically did."

"I just asked a question."

"Which insinuated you were thinking that I'm gay," he said in irritation. Axel sighed. He stood and hooked his t-shirt around his neck.

"Why would I care if you are or not?"

"How do I know you weren't being some giant homosexual pervert all the years you were watching me? How do I know you weren't sitting around watching me get dressed and jerking off to it?" Roxas spat. His anger was increasing the longer Axel stayed. Axel's eyes narrowed.

"So we're back to that again? I thought you had accepted my reasoning."

"I'll never be over something so disgusting."

"I already explained to you what it was all for. Just get over it already. It isn't what you think it is and the more you accuse me of it, the more I think you want it to be true," the redhead sneered. He loomed over Roxas, giving him a glare. He knew exactly how to push the little blonde's buttons. "You _want_ the idea of me sitting around and jerking off to your naked body to be true, don't you?" Roxas' eyes widened, his pupils dilating in his anger.

"Get the fuck away from me, you disgusting freak!" he yelled.

"I'm a disgusting freak again? A freak of what? Nature? How about a freak of science? How about a superior being? One that's stronger and faster than you can ever hope to be? I didn't think that bothered you so much because not five minutes ago you were completely fascinated by me. So if you were interested in me, what does that make you? Interested in freaks?"

"That was totally different! You were a subject matter not something I was pining after!"

"Exactly! It's the same thing! I was studying you, not lusting after you! Get the fuck over yourself already. You may have a pretty face but god are you just nasty otherwise. Pick who you want to be already because I'm already tired of your bi-polar bullshit. Are you the nice student-esque assistant that does his job and is useful or are you the belligerent asshole that pushes everyone away? Pick one!"

"I—you…" the blonde stuttered. "Just get away from me," he said quietly.

"No. I want an answer. Which is it? I need to know so I can tell Ansem why I replaced you."

"Wh—"

"Don't give me that. You don't get how important this project is. Not just to me or the people here, but to everyone else in the world. If you don't understand, then you can't do the work correctly. You're not good enough."

"I am so!" Roxas barked, sounding more like a bullied twelve year old rather than an adult defending his capabilities.

"Then prove it. Check my model number without flipping a shit."

"…What?" the blonde paled and his mouth hung open.

"Come on. You're not gay, right? Why should it matter? If you're going to be completely familiar with me and do your job _correctly_ you need to know my model number," Axel said matter-of-factly and sat back on the bed. He pushed his way backwards across the mattress until he sat up against the pillows, legs splayed out in front of him. "If you can't even take a damn look and record it then you're too bigoted and closed minded to be useful to me."

"You're not going to pop a huge woody and hit me in the face with it are you?" the blonde growled between clenched teeth.

"When I say I'm the biggest one here, I mean I'm…the biggest."

"You're _not_ helping."

"Are we having a complex again?" Axel chided sarcastically, riling the blonde up more and making the creases in his forehead double in their depth. "Am I the Great Dane to your Chihuahua?" he purred.

"Fuck off Axel."

"I thought we were playing the asshole game again, mea culpa. Here, I'll even do half the work and take my shorts off," the redhead said and watched the blonde closely as he took his leisurely time undoing the fastenings of his pants. Roxas' face watched his hands carefully with something akin to fear in his eyes. Axel was just about to pull his clothing away when the blonde abruptly turned away and stomped off into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. "Oops," the redhead said to himself, a smug sense of satisfaction spreading across his expression in the form of a wide toothy grin. He closed his pants again and pulled his shirt on. He sighed, his instant gratification fading quickly as he realized he was faced with a new problem. His eyes drifted to the stuffed Tigger doll on Roxas' nightstand and he scoffed. He hummed the Tigger Song to himself quietly, muttering the last verse out loud in a crestfallen tone.

"… _The most wonderful thing_  
about Tiggers is:  
I'm the only one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N and Disclaimer:** I don't own Michael Bublé's song Haven't Met You Yet
> 
> I do, however think that his voice is perfect for a certain someone and it was my inspiration for the first part of this chapter. I thought it up as I was listening to his CD on the way home from school.
> 
> On another note, you all should listen to the song. ChaCha player has it right when you type Michael Bublé into Google.
> 
> I also don't own The Tigger Song.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Roxas didn't come out of his room for two days. He didn't eat and he hardly slept and he most certainly didn't talk to anyone. The seclusion, he thought, was necessary but it was wearing on him. The longer he stayed in his room, the harder it was for him to deal with his own thoughts. They were growing uncharacteristically dark for him and he never dealt with anything like that before. His logic had left him since coming to grips with the idea of staying in this world. He didn't have anything to base his thought processes off of anymore. He could think he's right about one thing, then he could turn around and it could be completely different simply because of the way they did things there. He wasn't sure about anything anymore, least of all himself. He couldn't understand himself anymore.

His mind scared him. The dark places his psyche was reaching to scared him. He was dangerously close to being unable to trust himself. His body had betrayed him and tossed his mentality and his world in the gutter. He couldn't openly admit that watching Axel taunt him while he was sitting on his bed had stirred a certain amount of arousal from him, but he was aware of it. He was _completely_ aware of it and that was a problem. Roxas wasn't gay, or so he told himself over and over as he sat in his room by himself. He couldn't be. He wasn't allowed to be. He had lost his virginity to a girl, dated girls, and worried about getting girls pregnant even; those aren't things gay men do. There was no way in hell Roxas was gay. Other people could be gay, but he wasn't allowed to be.

He wondered if Sora was having the same problem or if his happy-go-lucky-bright-side-of-life brother even cared. What of he was having the same issues with Riku and he just accepted them openly just like he had everything else? Sora had never really had much in the ways of girlfriends and had openly admitted his virginity to Roxas so what if it was true and he was gay? Would Roxas feel just as disgusted? He doubted he could fault his brother for something like that. He got along with Leon and Cloud well enough even if they rarely saw one another, but maybe his reaction to a family member would be different. Regardless of the validity of that proposition, Sora was the only one he could talk to.

He would need to do laundry soon, he noticed as he fished around in his armoire for his clothing. Axel was right when he said that the blonde had many unknowns in this world, like where the laundry goes for instance. Something so simple as wanting a clean pair of underwear made Roxas angry at himself for not having the gall to ask the right questions and instead turning inward on himself whenever he was stressed. Having virtually no friends anymore made his inward behavior a little too blatant for his liking. Right about now he would be banging on Hayner's door and stealing a beer if he was back home. But he wasn't, and he couldn't. He wondered if they had a drinking age where he was, and if they didn't, where the nearest bar was.

He stepped out into the hall and looked around. Hardly anyone was milling around, which was he was thankful for. He still didn't know where Sora's room was but at two in the afternoon he doubted the brunette would be there. He could sort of remember from the tour where Riku's lab was and started to wander his way down the hall and past the cafeteria. Past the exit that went to the field, past the exit that went to the track, past the exit that went to the common area, and down several hallways came a familiar laugh that guided Roxas straight to the right place. He could see through the windows of the lab doors that Sora and Riku were in the lab together, talking. The brunette looked happy enough and Riku certainly wasn't doing anything harmful. They seemed comfortable enough with each other but not so comfortable that it twisted the blonde's stomach.

Sora had gotten new clothes too, Roxas noticed. He had on a dark pair of what looked to be denim jeans with a snug white silkscreened t-shirt and clean white sneakers. Roxas noticed him wearing the same watch as him as well. When Riku pushed his hair back, the blonde noticed a new piercing dangling from his earlobe. Roxas wondered how long they had had those for, he hadn't noticed them. The blonde knocked on the lab door before pushing it open and the conversation ceased, with both faces turning his way. Riku's expression, though blank and unwavering betrayed what his eyes were telling Roxas which was a resounding 'I want to punch you in the face.'

"Hi Roxas, I didn't expect to see you ever again," Sora said and gave him a soft smile. Riku muttered a low 'excuse me' and stalked towards the exit. He brushed past Roxas hastily and went out into the hall. The brunette's expression fell a little, "Riku doesn't like you."

"Yeah I figured. I'm having a problem," the blonde said, trying to ignore the hostility. He pulled the sleeve of his shirt into his palm and fiddled with the hem. He hadn't prepared himself for having this conversation very well and he subconsciously deflected it away in favor of something more neutral. "Uh…I think we made a mistake in coming here," he said being mindful to keep it a 'we' sort of discussion.

"Why do you say that? Are you missing mom and dad?"

"Well yeah, sort of but it's not so much that but the atmosphere here. I don't think I can handle all of this."

"All of what? I'm completely stupid and I don't even think it's all that difficult. I mean, it's a lot to take in but at the pace Riku let's me take I'm getting it little by little. I'm not going to be doing much with the science-y part of it but I can definitely take care of him like I'm supposed to and give him what I can. I would've thought you'd be excited to learn how to use all this stuff," Sora said motioning to the various machines and equipment scattered around the lab.

"I don't have a problem working with the equipment. I have a problem with being Axel's maintenance committee."

"Why?"

"I don't trust him and I don't want to touch him."

"Oh good lord, Roxas. It's no different than one of us going to get a physical at the doctor's office except we're on the giving end rather than the receiving. Don't be like that."

"So you've touched Riku everywhere?"

"I've at least seen him, yes."

"And you're okay with that?"

"It isn't anything I haven't seen before. If you haven't noticed, I'm a guy too. The only differences we have are under the skin. Jeeze for someone who isn't a virgin, you're a serious prude."

"I'm not a prude. I'm just not gay," the blonde huffed and looked down at his shoes. He fidgeted.

"How—what? Who said this has anything to do with that? You're telling me, that all the times we've gone for physicals with Dr. Mirnhoff we were actually being molested? That's what you'd be saying if you call this whole process being gay with someone. Need I remind you that mom was always right there with us for our appointments? Do you really think she'd let someone diddle us like that? Medical procedures don't equal sex, Roxas."

"I know that!" he yelled, giving his brother a harsh glare. His cheeks flushed in an instant and Sora quirked a brow at him. Roxas really wanted his brother to be able to read his mind so he didn't have to say what his actual problem was.

"…Did Axel rape you or something?" the brunette asked cautiously.

"What? No!"

"Then why are you flipping out so much?" Sora asked. Roxas let out a groan, and trudged over to a chair before plopping down. He slouched forward and held his face in his hands, balancing his elbows on his knees. He took a moment to gather his thoughts together, as fragmented as they may be. He itched his scalp nervously.

"Axel isn't the problem," he started which he felt was a lie but couldn't rightfully put all of the blame on the redhead. "I…" he squeaked and rubbed his face vigorously with a sigh.

"Did _you_ rape Axel?"

"Nobody was raped Sora!" the blonde yelled. Sora flinched.

"Okay, okay, you're scaring me with how hard a time you're having though."

"I know," the blonde amended, his sudden anger deflating quickly behind his uncertainty. There was a tightness in his chest he wasn't comfortable with and he wished he could just blurt it out and get it over with. "I'm the problem. I'm having like an identity crisis right now."

"That makes no sense to me; you're going to have to explain."

"When…wh—the…" he stammered. He made a series of incoherent squeaks and cracks of his vocal chords, trying to put the words together.

"Just spit it out."

"I'm trying to! Jesus!"

"You're not doing a very good job of it."

"I know. It's just…when he… and then I…"

"Dude, did you have sex with Axel? Like willingly?"

"No!"

"Well then what's the problem?"

"I'm trying to tell you!"

"Then do it!"

"I _wanted_ to, alright?"

"…Whoa. Wait a minute," Sora said, face falling slack a little as he gaped at his brother.

"Like not full out jump on him but he turned me on…" Roxas said with a deflated tone. He held his face in his hands and let out a loud groan. He was mortified, absolutely disgusted with himself. "What am I going to do, Sora?"

"I don't know what to say. But I'm glad it isn't just me," the brunette said and the blonde looked at him quickly, eyebrows raised.

"Hold on, what you mean 'isn't just me'? The same thing happened with you? With Axel?"

"With Riku, stupid," Sora grumbled, his cheeks turning pink. He shuffled his feet around and sighed. "Though I will admit that you're being way more irrational about it than I am; I've never had a girl before so what's the difference? He's totally uninterested though…"

"You're _pursuing_ this? The dude is like a zillion years old! And a dude!"

"So? It's not like I have anything to go off of, relationship wise. I dunno what your problem is; maybe you're just lying to yourself. I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea but it's not like I'm going to deny myself, that's more your bag."

"I can't believe this is happening…"

"It's not like I'm going to elope with the guy, I'm just a little attracted to him. I can't help it, look at him! He's fucking pretty!"

"Axel's not pretty like that though. What the fuck is wrong with me?" the blonde asked and rubbed his eyes.

"I don't consider it a _problem_ but you're the one that has an issue with being different and changing, so that's all on you. I'm trying my best to not let it get to me and just adapt. Take a big girl pill, Roxas."

"Fuck off, Sora," the blonde grumbled. The brunette rolled his eyes. "I think I need to see if I can get over to the female facility, maybe some tits will make me turn back around."

"Well whatever. There's this one over there with big enough bazongas for everyone, let me tell you. Fucking melons, dude."

"You've been over there?" Roxas was immediately jealous.

"If you came out of your room every now and again, you would've probably been over there too by this point."

"True… I can't argue with that," the blonde huffed. "How do you get there?"

"It's across the field. You should probably see if someone will take you though. They'd probably look at you like you're insane if you go over there by yourself."

"Well come with me."

"I have work to do. Don't you?"

"Probably…" Roxas trailed. He really didn't want to see Axel. He sighed. "Maybe—" he was cut off by his watch springing to life. The little device let out a shrill beep as a message crossed the screen.

_Change code initiated._

"What?" the blonde questioned and Sora took his wrist, reading the message.

"Axel's changing somewhere. You should probably find him."

"Why would he be doing that?" Roxas questioned confusedly as he stood.

"I dunno, maybe it's been a while. He's _your_ Carrier dude. You're supposed to know this shit."

"Well I haven't exactly gotten around to it," he added as they both headed out into the hallway. "How do I tell where he is?"

"You don't. Where does he go when he changes?"

"I have no idea. That's what I'm saying."

"Well I know Riku likes to go out back to the obstacle course for a climb. What does Axel like to do?"

"I have no idea!" the blonde insisted.

"Well fuck dude, what have you been _doing_ since we got here?"

"Being an asshole apparently," Roxas muttered. Sora sighed and took his wrist, pulling him down the hall. They jogged passed several doors until Sora stopped them in front of one. He knocked and it took a moment but Riku answered.

"Where does Axel go when he changes?" the brunette asked abruptly. Riku raised a slender brow.

"Doesn't Roxas know?" he asked. "It's his responsibility to know these things."

"He's been a bad mom, just tell us for now please," Sora pleaded. Roxas snorted at the 'mom' comment. He was pretty sure mothers aren't supposed to get boners when looking at their children. Riku's eyes flicked between the siblings several times with a placid expression. He let out a breath.

"The pool," he said simply.

"Thanks, I'll take him there and then come back," Sora said and yanked his older brother down the hall again.

"There's a pool?"

"Yeah. Seriously? You don't even know that much?"

"…No."

"Oh my god, Roxas," the brunette groaned. The blonde was suddenly overcome with a tremendous feeling of guilt. Sora really did know way more than he did. He had been seriously neglectful and at this point he wouldn't really blame Axel for replacing him if he chose to. He didn't want to be replaced though, he really didn't. If he was, where would he go? He'd have nothing, no future. He sighed and followed behind Sora obediently. It took them a while to navigate the halls with the brunette taking a moment or two every now and again to try to remember where he was going but eventually they made it.

The pool area was more like an outdoor spring. It was in the middle of a field with some minor foliage around it but most of it was made out of the same crystalline rock formations that were in the city but considerably scaled back in size. There was a waterfall and a shallow area that tapered off into some deeper water. It was large, blue, and incredibly shiny. The waterfall itself was relatively tall and had some areas where anyone who wanted to could climb up and take a jump into the deeper end. The pool was surrounded by colorful rocks and formations that made some places to hide, walk on, and created some shade. Riku was right in his assumption and Roxas could see an enormous tiger padding out from behind a rock and testing the water a little with its foot. Sora shoved him forward.

"I would stay and stare at him, but you need to make things right so I'm out of here," the brunette said and quickly shut the door behind him. Roxas could see his brother's eyes peeking over the bottom of the window at Axel for a moment before leaving. When the blonde looked back at the pool, Axel had submerged himself up to his face and was laying out on the platform that made the shallow end, his chin resting on one of the outer rocks. The blonde hesitated. If he left now, he could pretend he couldn't find Axel when his watch went off. That was a coward's way out though and Roxas was trying very hard to convince himself he wasn't like that. He sucked in a breath and made his way towards the pool slowly, keeping a suspicious eye on the cat.

"Um…" Roxas started from a few yards away and Axel startled a little, his ear twitching towards the noise. He looked at the blonde and immediately stood, water dripping from his pelt in great waves. He quickly slinked his way out of the pool and behind the rocks that made the tall waterfall, hiding. The amount of body language Axel was giving off was almost comical. Here was the largest cat in the animal kingdom, sneaking away and trying to hide himself from a person that was a quarter of his size. The blonde was still having a hard time believing that the beast was Axel, but he didn't let it bother him as much as he once thought it would. He had come to terms with the idea, but still wanted to see the middle process of the actual change. He had seen the Primal, and the Implant, but the junction between the two was still a fascinating concept. He drew closer and could see Axel's clothing draped over a rock off to the side.

"Axel?" he tried again and could hear the cat shake its body around to dislodge the excess water from itself from nearby. Before Roxas could make his way behind the rock wall completely, there was a streak of orange coming out from the other side. The blonde startled and watched as Axel started running towards the door. He gaped as the animal managed to scrape the door open and push himself inside. "What the hell…" the blonde said to himself in disbelief.

* * *

Axel was starting to understand why it was so easy for Demyx to slide down the hall and into the wall. The tiles under the pads of his feet were incredibly slippery especially as he tried to trot down the hall with reasonable speed. He didn't understand why Roxas even bothered trying to find him and was surprised that he managed to figure out where he was. Axel wasn't really ready to show his Primal form to the little bastard yet but it was growing into a necessity the longer he put it off. He couldn't sacrifice the integrity of his Totem simply because he was stubborn and a little self conscious. He slipped and faltered a little, mentally cursing himself for being such an oaf.

"Whoa there, what're you doing in here?" a voice called from down the hall. Cloud stepped out of his and Leon's lab with his brows high on his forehead. "Leon!" he called over his shoulder. Axel slowed to a stop by their doors. The other Carrier appeared behind his Charge and gave the tiger the same look of surprise.

"Why are you inside?" he asked, as if Axel could answer. Cloud patted his pockets some before pulling out the earpiece with the long chord. Axel opened for him willingly and the tall blonde clicked the plug into his Link.

" _Roxas is out there_ ," the Primal communicated and Cloud reiterated it for Leon.

"And that's a problem?" Leon asked.

" _It is right now. I'm not like this because I want to be._ "

"He's not coming around?"

" _Hardly. I haven't seen him for the last two days. He blew up on me and told me a bunch of things I didn't really need to hear. Like how disgusted he is by me._ "

"Oh, how kind of him. Fucking prick," Cloud said sarcastically with an angry mutter.

" _Lucky me, right? Hide me for a minute_?"

"Where do you propose we do that? You're huge," Leon said and Axel heaved a mental sigh.

" _Well just open my door for me then, I'll just wait it out in there._ " There were running footsteps in the distance and Axel opened his mouth again, prompting Cloud to unplug the earpiece.

* * *

Roxas was running through the halls, having only a half of an idea of where he was going. He rounded a corner just in time to see the tip of a tiger's tail disappear around another corner down the hall. Leon was standing in front of another laboratory with his arms crossed, watching Axel leave. The blonde tried to take off after him but Leon stuck his arm out before he could get past and Roxas clotheslined himself, falling backwards onto the floor. He coughed as the wind was knocked from him. The Carrier stooped low and brought their faces close together. He grabbed the blonde's jaw harshly so Roxas didn't have any choice but to face him.

"You better pull your shit together, cub. We're losing patience with you. I'm tired of you hurting my friend and I'm tired of you taking our hospitality for granted," Leon said with an undertone of a low growl emanating from under his voice. Roxas blinked; his mind fuzzy from being knocked back. "Fix it," he ordered and pushed the blonde's jaw away roughly.

"How?" Roxas asked, reaching a hand up to rub his abused skin.

"Have you even given him a sample yet?"

"No…" the blonde said, a light blush tinting his cheeks. Leon sighed and shook his head. He stood quickly and headed into the lab, leaving Roxas to pull himself together and stand on his own. The blonde rubbed his head and waited. Leon came back and shoved a metal can and a small plastic canister in his hands. He blinked, looking for an explanation. The metal can had a small button on the top as well as a twist off lid. He opened it and the walls of the thing were much thicker than he thought they would be. In fact it was mostly solid on the inside except for a space down the middle; the little plastic canister looked to fit inside that space.

"Fill this," Leon said and pointed to the plastic canister, "put it in that," then he pointed to the metal can "then close it and push the button. Get moving," he ordered and shoved Roxas' shoulder. The blonde was about to protest his manhandling but Leon put a hand up in his face to halt any words from escaping. "You want to stay here? You better get working, if not, I can fill out the replacement forms for you and you'll be gone in two days. Go," he spat and stalked back into the lab, leaving Roxas dumbfounded.

* * *

"Hey Riku?" Sora asked curiously.

"Yes?" Riku responded, turning away from his computer to pay attention fully. Sora was sitting off to his side watching what he was doing carefully, trying to absorb how the Catalogue worked. His mind started to wander when he became confused though, so he was stuck on another topic and would probably ask Riku to repeat himself several more times before the day was over.

"Sorry… I wasn't paying attention again but I was wondering something."

"Alright," Riku said simply. He had accepted that his Charge wasn't one for the academics of things, but he was patient and didn't mind too much. Sora kept him entertained simply by being himself so he was happy to watch the brunette make disgruntled faces at things he didn't understand and eventually ask him restate everything he had just said.

"Well, I was wondering why me?"

"Why you what?"

"Why did you pick me? You probably had others you could've chosen just as easily, and the others before me were all girls. So why me? Why not another girl?"

"I like your personality," Riku stated simply.

"Oh."

"You make it sound like that's an unsatisfactory answer. Were you expecting more?"

"Well no, I was just trying to figure some stuff out about you and I totally didn't get an answer that helped me. I mean it's nice you like my personality and everything but that's it?"

"What else are you expecting me to say?"

"I…well," he hesitated. He shuffled his foot a little against the tile and cleared his throat a bit, his cheeks turning a light pink with the thought process, "I'm just a little confused as to how to… take it. Take you. Like, you had girls before but did you like…love them?" He realized he may be treading into sensitive territory and quickly stammered, "I'm sorry, you don't have to say anything if it—"

"It's fine Sora. I think I understand what you're getting at," Riku interrupted with a smile. "I learned to distance myself a little from my Charges when the first one died, and yes I did have a great amount of feelings for her. I was extra cautious with the other two though and prepared myself for the worst beforehand so they didn't affect me as much emotionally when they ended up passing as well. It was a loss of a life for me, rather than a loss of a love if that makes any sense." Sora nodded. "But having you here is a little different because you're here, and alive and…happy? Are you happy here with me?" Sora looked thoughtful for a moment but he nodded again. "That means a lot to me. It tells me you're not going to up and disappear on me. So if you're asking me my preferences as far as partners go, I don't have one. So long as you keep your personality the way that it is and don't die on me somewhere along the line, we can pursue something together. Is that what you were trying to get at?"

"…I feel really weird talking about it so openly like this. I feel like I'm trying to propose a business agreement or something," Sora said with a hand on his cheek and lightly furrowed brows. Riku laughed.

"I'm sorry, I'm not the most romantic speaker, I know."

"No, it's fine. It was just a little blatant," the brunette said with a lopsided smile. "Is this normal though? Like do all Carriers and Charges get involved like that?"

"A lot of them do. Not everybody, but a lot. It's hard not to have a connection with someone you spend so much time with and know so closely. There are a lot of same sex relationships amongst the men simply because it's difficult to have female Charges get through the stasis process. But as a whole, Carriers tend not to have a preference either way because in the initial stages, we see it as 'whoever has the best credentials and will follow me and help my project is who I want' since gender doesn't matter here as much for repopulation."

"So you didn't really pick me because you were looking for a guy to get involved with, you picked me because I would survive the stasis?"

"Well, that's a very insensitive way to put it. You have to understand that all of my choices before I found you were women. I was about to pick another female literally a few minutes before your profile was uploaded into my list. Initially I paid more attention because you were male and it was something new for me but when I read what your personality was like, I was certain."

"Oh, I didn't have any fancy credentials?"

"No, and neither did my previous three. I'm one of the few that value the type of person over their merits."

"Oh."

"Does that bother you?"

"No, I'm just not sure how to take it all."

"The Charge list is not a dating service. It's work. But that doesn't mean once you're here you can't feel what you want. The beginning process is strictly business but it's not like we're barred from mixing work with play after the formalities are done. It actually makes things go a whole lot smoother as far as getting what we need from one another so I don't think anyone has a problem with it because the work still gets done regardless."

"Okay," the brunette said quietly, watching the floor.

"You still don't seem satisfied."

"Well… I'm just confused."

"With what?"

"With you."

"What about me?"

"What do you want? From this? From me?"

"Whatever you're willing to give me Sora, I will gladly take it."

* * *

Axel was sprawled out on his back, staring at the light fixture hanging from his bedroom ceiling. He rolled his tongue around in his mouth and poked at his Link, deciding that he didn't like the taste of Leon's dried saliva that was left behind from Cloud's earpiece. Not that it mattered anyway; it was just a detail he noticed. He considered how often everybody cleaned those things, or if they even thought to. It was like a doorknob or a hand rail. Everyone uses them but no one probably thinks to clean them and they leave their germs behind for the next unsuspecting person to come across.

Ew. Leon cooties.

He could always tell when he needed to change. It had been at least eight months and between the aching in his joints and the fact that everyone looked good enough to eat it was obvious he needed it. He physically felt better but he hated the looks he got when he was in that state. People either looked terrified or blank. There were no affectionate glances or lingering stares portraying a desire to touch his pelt. It was either nothing, or fear. He hated it. Then again, Demyx always thought it was fantastic when Axel was in his Primal form but the sandy blonde always tended to be overly zealous with everybody anyway so it didn't do much for his credibility. There was a light knock on his door.

"Come in," he called, feeling too lazy to get up. He pulled the blanket over his lap, just in case it was anyone who gave a damn about his nudity. He hadn't bothered to find his clothes since he was already in his room. Whoever it was hesitated a little before the door opened just a few inches. Axel glanced down the length of his body at the door and a patch of blonde hair, an immaculate blue eye and an eyebrow peeked in. "Whoa. Sorry," the redhead said quickly and pulled the blanket over himself properly. "What did you want?" he asked with mild annoyance. What did Roxas want to badger him with _now_?

"Um…nothing," the blonde said quietly and his eye looked down at the floor uneasily for a moment. Axel could hear him take a deep shaky breath and watched as his arm reached in and set a metal sample canister on the small table near his door. The limb and the partial profile disappeared quickly, pulling the door closed with a gentle ' _click_.' The redhead was stunned. He gaped at the door for a long moment before pushing himself off of the mattress. He took up the metal canister and twisted it open, hearing the hiss as the pressure was released through the threads of the lid. He dug out the little plastic specimen holder and opened it.

"Beautiful."

* * *

Roxas was having a heart attack. Not a literal one, but a panic and self induced pain in his chest. He couldn't believe what he had done. He knew he had to and that it would put him in the right direction as far as the project went but he should've listened to his first instinct and dropped the canister off in the lab. The only problem was he didn't know what the canister actually did. When he had pressed the button he knew it squeezed all the air out of itself but other than that, he didn't know how long his little swimming buddies would last in there. Whatever, at least Axel knew about it.

His hunger and exhaustion were catching up to him quickly and he debated where to go as he plodded down the hallway. Food or bed? He tried to remember when the last time he ate was and he couldn't really recall so he decided on the cafeteria. He had a general idea of the important places to go by this point. He knew where the lab was, and the cafeteria, and he discovered that Axel's room was between the two so he could navigate it fairly easily, which he was thankful for because he was tired of thinking. He could hear running footsteps coming from behind him but didn't register that they were meant for him until a weight plowed into his back. He was lifted from the ground by a pair of strong arms around his midsection and crushed to someone's chest from behind. He kicked his feet a little and let out a loud grunt as the air escaped from him uncomfortably.

"Thank you," Axel breathed into his neck and Roxas' struggling ceased. Color rushed to his cheeks and he focused on the floor as best as he could. At least the redhead had the courtesy to get dressed. His mind was flooded with the recent exchange he had with the other man, and decided he really didn't need to be thinking about how long Axel's naked legs were.

"You're crushing me…" the blonde choked out and Axel tensed a little with his realization before setting him down gently.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hurt you did I?" he asked quickly.

"I'm fine, I just feel a little like a half empty tube of toothpaste."

"Sorry."

"Did you need something?"

"No, I just wanted to thank you."

"Okay, I'm going to get something to eat then I'm going to sleep," the blonde said sleepily.

"Oh. Alright. I'll be in the lab then."

"Fine," he said and waved a little over his shoulder as he left, heading towards the cafeteria again. He could hear Axel's feet against the flooring heading in the other direction. He had many questions he had wanted to ask the redhead but his stomach was telling him to shut up and eat. He got his food, sat by himself, and ate slowly. Through the entire meal, he didn't think very much but he could feel the heaviness of his expression and the temptation of letting his face fall forward into his tray. He was vaguely concerned about how long he had been up and he found he couldn't remember. He cleared his area and dropped the tray off at the food line again before heading back towards his room.

The first thing he noticed was the foreign, brightly colored object on his bed. The second thing he noticed was that someone had made his bed. The third thing he noticed was that his pile of laundry was gone. He squinted at his room suspiciously and could've sworn he had locked the door before he had left. He knew he did, he had to use his key to get back in. He looked around and went about inspecting the room. His clothes were clean and hung up neatly in his armoire and he noticed that the sheets were not only clean, but they were a different color. His comforter was still white but the sheets underneath were now a light orange. He eyed the object that sat so innocently placed on his bed and he knew the culprit behind everything. Not that he minded, it was certainly nice to have someone clean up after him, but in light of cameras hiding in house flies, he was suspicious of the thing.

The longer he thought about cameras being hidden inside innocent objects, the more he found that it didn't make any sense at this point. Axel had gotten what he wanted and Roxas was there with him. He didn't need to spy anymore, so why would he hide a camera in a Tigger plush? This particular Tigger was bigger than the other one he had found under his pillow the first night he had in his bed. It was a full sized stuffed toy someone would give to their kids to play with. Roxas picked it up and squished it around in his hands, just to be sure there was nothing foreign hidden inside before deeming it safe and setting it aside. He wasn't one for sleeping with stuffed toys but he could live with it sitting on his nightstand.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Roxas let his head loll back against the pillows as he rode the wave of immense heat and pleasure that surrounded his arousal. Olette knew exactly what she was doing and was using her tongue in all the right places. Roxas' fingers combed through her hair as he used his palm to gently coax her to take more of him. He could feel her hair brush against the inside of his thigh, just adding another sinful feeling to everything she had already caused him to undergo. She moved his hand away gently and shifted her positing around so she had better leverage and Roxas let out a guttural moan as her lips met with his pelvis and he could feel her throat working his sensitive head.

Olette's touch steadily grew stronger. Her hands stroked along his thighs as she released him from her lips in order to tease him. She had to be more careful with him the stronger she became and when she did retake him with her tongue she had to make sure her elongated canines didn't hurt him in the heat of the moment. Roxas' gaze was averted upward still, but he could tell the dynamic had changed when she started again. There was an overall ferocity between the sensual touches that wasn't there previously and he loved it. He drank it in, feeling the immense heat that she had suddenly acquired and riding the sensation as she brought him over the edge quickly. He let out a gasp and grabbed her hair, holding her in place as she happily took every drop or his seed. He dropped back again and let out a contented sigh.

He cast a longing gaze down at his partner and she grinned up at him with a feral set of teeth she didn't have before but he found he didn't care. Her eyes were what mattered the most at the moment. He was completely entranced in the orbs that were different from what he could remember. He could've sworn they were a deep emerald before but this new color was just as beautiful. He was captivated…

…in the glittering chartreuse.

* * *

Roxas' eyes flew open and he bolted upright, panting. He was coated in a layer of cold sweat but his skin was on fire. It took him a moment to remember he wasn't dying but he couldn't understand what had scared him so suddenly and woke him up. It was probably a dream, it had to be. Immediately his fingers flew up to his ear but he couldn't feel anything wrong with it. He shoved the covers off of himself and felt the draft wash over him and he was suddenly aware of a slight problem. He reached over and turned on the side table lamp with a twist of the triangular shade (at least he had figured out that much). He blinked, surprised with himself.

Roxas hadn't had a wet dream since he was fourteen. He squinted at the mess he had made of himself and was completely caught off guard. He rechecked his ear, just to make sure it was all his own doing. He didn't feel anything strange but his suspicious mind made him get out of bed and use the mirror just to make sure. It was clean. He reached over and slapped on the shower. As it was taking a moment to warm up, he stood by the sink and tried his best to rack his brain and figure out just what as so great about the dream he couldn't remember. He almost wished he could've blamed it on flies and black shit since at least when he woke up from those he could remember everything.

He shrugged to no one in particular. It had apparently been very nice otherwise he wouldn't have been standing around in the bathroom waiting to get cleaned up. But for as much as he tried to focus on the niceness of whatever had happened, he couldn't deny the underlying feeling if fear he felt. Whether it was the fear of what happened in the dream, or the fear of what he didn't know about it, he couldn't tell exactly he just knew it was there. Fear. It wasn't supposed to be synonymous with sexual pleasure. At least, not according to his past experiences.

The steam started to fill the tiny space and he stripped before launching himself under the spray. He yelped and got out almost immediately; it was way too hot. He fumbled around with the buttons on the wall, feeling his back give off a cooling steam and he shivered. He tested the water again with his fingers before deeming it reasonable and got back in to scrub the nagging mystery off of his stomach.

* * *

Axel's eyes peeled open slowly as he registered it was far too early (or late depending on the opinion) to get up. There was a mild sense of urgency in the back of his mind and he couldn't quite put his finger on it but he knew it had something to do with Roxas. It wasn't a sudden emergency that he felt he needed to rush to the blonde's side and cradle a broken body but his Charge was in enough distress that it registered on his Signet and had woken him up. The redhead blearily looked around his room, trying to understand but as quickly as it had come, the feeling left again. He decided he should go check anyway and pushed himself out of his bed.

He padded down the silent hallway with equally as quiet footsteps. His room was relatively close to the blonde's and he was there within a minute, pressing his sensitive ear against the door to listen. He could hear Roxas breathing a little too quickly but he didn't sound like he was in any pain. Axel squinted as there was a light gasp and a sudden ruffling of the bed linens. Roxas' breathing was more labored for a moment but he quickly calmed. There was brief bout of silence before the covers ruffled again and Axel could see light streaming out from under the door. There was more silence and then the shower was running.

At least he was able bodied enough to get into the bathroom, which showed he wasn't in any immediate danger. The redhead was insanely curious as to what the initial problem was, but decided against barging in and disrupting him any further. He made his way back to his bedroom with a yawn.

* * *

Riku couldn't even begin to explain what he was doing to Sora without knowing he would confuse the holy hell out of the brunette. How does one go about telling someone that he's basically dissecting one of his sperm in the most brutal way possible to extract the proper pieces of his DNA sequence in order to toss it together with one of his own? Probably just like that, but he knew Sora wouldn't understand entirely. For one thing, the mental images of one of his sperm being halted in it's happy swimming routine just long enough for Riku to microscopically rip it's face open didn't prove to be very appetizing he was sure. He even flinched a little, a pang of loss for the tiny cell as its demise played out before his eyes. Oh, the inhumanity.

Sora on the other hand, was completely oblivious to the goings on and tried his best to navigate the Catalogue without getting completely lost in the controls. It was almost like a new video game system but much more complicated and _really_ shiny. He was used to his laptop, where the keyboard didn't deviate from its usual setup. With the Catalogue though, if he went to a certain page or list, the entire setup would change and he would have to concentrate on the suddenly new sequence of buttons under his fingertips. Especially if there were some places where the buttons had turned into touch activated dials or a directional stick. Those were difficult to catch and he often found himself trying to get back to wherever he was since he touched it the wrong way and the screen changed again. He sighed, getting frustrated with the machine.

"Something wrong?" Riku called, his eyes still glued to his microscope. His moment of temporary distraction caused him to inch too far forward with his instrument of destruction and sliced the sperm completely in half. "Damn…" he muttered to himself and stood back, rubbing his eyes. He took the specimen away and tossed it in the garbage before heading off to the side to prepare another one.

"No, but it sounds like you're having a harder time than I am," the brunette said, peering around the back of his seat at his Carrier. Riku was fiddling with what looked to be an enormous microscope with controls on either side that controlled mechanical arms which were encased in a glass cube. He knew that the man was working with cells, and that he couldn't very well just walk in with a machete to slice things open so Sora assumed whatever he was using to cut things with were just as small. Probably lasers or something equally as miniscule. Riku had tried to explain what the machine did but the brunette didn't pay attention and got lost in the color of his eyes instead.

"The trial and error process is frustrating. It's expected though, don't worry about it."

"Well don't get too cranky otherwise I might not eat lunch with you."

"That's not very nice what if I wanted to share my steak with you?"

"…Ew."

"It'd cook it for you first, obviously."

"Oh. Well maybe. But you still can't be cranky. I lived with Roxas for eighteen years, I'm done with cranky."

"Understandable," Riku said with a light chuckle. "I must agree with you though, your brother tends to have the personality of a constipated brick on most occasions."

"A _what_?" Sora said as he started to laugh. Riku gave him a smirk, knowing how ridiculous his accusation sounded.

"You heard me," he said and forced himself to focus on what he was doing. The brunette's laughs eventually calmed enough and they settled back into their respective duties. There was a long silence between them.

"So uh…" Sora started.

"Hmm?" Riku hummed in response.

"When do I get to see you change?"

"Are you ready for that?"

"I'm really curious."

"Axel was asking me to show you and Roxas both."

"Why Roxas?"

"Apparently your brother has a problem with male nudity and I'm fortunate enough to be able to change while still clothed. Axel is not."

"Oh," Sora wasn't sure how he felt about that. He sort of saw it as a private affair and was hoping it would be just he and Riku when it happened. "If that's what you want to do, that's fine."

"You don't sound very pleased."

"Well… I don't know."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"No, go ahead and tell me."

"I don't even know how to word it."

"Are you frightened to see me change?"

"No…well maybe a little but that wasn't what I was getting at. I was sort of hoping it would…be just us," Sora added sheepishly, his cheeks a bright crimson. Riku didn't see why that would matter so much to the brunette but he didn't want to upset him so he simply accepted it.

"Alright. We don't have to," he said and Sora nodded. The silveret actually thought that Roxas should just suck up whatever insecurities he had and pay attention to his own Carrier for a while; he was tired of hearing about how other people had to accommodate the blonde in order to get him to do anything useful. Leon was the one who was able to somehow goad Roxas into giving a sample, not Axel, and Riku thought the blonde was being horribly selfish. Axel wasn't helping his situation by having a temper but he was doing what he could to get by, and Roxas was making it at least ten times harder for him. Riku felt for his friend.

"Okay…if you want to show them after I see it at least once, that's fine but for the first time I just want it to be us," he said quietly. Riku nodded.

"However you want to do it is fine with me."

* * *

The female section of the facility wasn't so much a place made exclusively for females. True, all of the females that happened to live at the facility stayed on their particular side but there were also men in the mix. If a male Carrier had secured a female Charge, they were moved to the female side. If there was a female Carrier she and her Charge stayed there as well, regardless of the Charge's gender. Roxas didn't exactly understand the point of having a 'female' section if there were men there as well. Why didn't the men stay on the other side and just travel across the property for work? Axel explained to him that it was like that in the beginning, a complete separation, but since the population grew, they were running out of options and a lot of the women liked to share their rooms with their companions anyway so it saved on space. Very practical, but Roxas felt they should've changed the name at the very least.

"So why did you want to come here again?" Axel asked as they pushed the front doors open to the main building.

"Just to...check some things," the blonde said hesitantly. He was still bothered by his dream and the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about Axel's naked legs from a few days prior. He was genuinely disturbed by the onslaught of information he was trying to process about himself. Things he never thought he could feel started to come to him in droves. He needed some female contradiction just to make sure he wasn't going completely insane.

"Check some things? Like what? These women won't have any interest in us," the redhead said.

"That's fine. I'm not looking for a date," _not yet anyway_ , the blonde continued in his mind.

"Axel?" a female voice called and the pair stopped, turning to the sound. Roxas had to do a double take at the figure that was coming towards them. The accentuated hour glass shape of the woman screamed 'I make lots of babies with these huge hips and then I feed them with my huge boobs,' and she smiled sweetly at them both. Her dark waist length hair sashayed with her hips as she walked with an unearthly grace down the hall, wearing a similar beige t-shirt and shorts outfit that Axel wore except it had a more feminine cut. When she stopped in front of them, Roxas gaped at her dark amber eyes as they shone in adoration at the redhead.

"Hey Tifa, long time no see," Axel said casually and gave her a smile.

"It has been quite a while, hasn't it?" she asked and glanced down to Roxas. She was tall; taller than he was but not as tall as Axel and her limbs looked incredibly powerful. When she grinned, she had extended canine teeth just like most other Carriers Roxas had seen and he automatically wanted to know what her Totem was. He also wouldn't have minded watching her strip and change for him but he decided he should probably introduce himself before they went that far. "Hello, I'm Tifa," she said.

"Roxas," he introduced back.

"You're Axel's Charge I take it?"

"Yes," he said. Axel glanced at him and added a silent ' _yeah, right_ ' in his mind.

"That's fantastic. Mine's around here somewhere," she said and waved a hand dismissively. "To what do I owe the pleasure, boys?"

"Just came to see what we can see," the redhead said.

"Well, there's a lot to see, I'm sure. I just see it every day so I get a little bored and don't notice it as much."

"That about what goes on over at our side."

"How is everything?

"…Slow," Axel said with a little irritation in his voice. Roxas lowered his eyes to the floor and fidgeted a bit. Tifa didn't notice the connection though and gave Axel an apologetic face.

"Is that so? I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah well, it happens. Hopefully it'll pick up soon."

"Well now that you have your Charge, I'm sure it'll be smooth sailing, hm?"

"Sure," Axel deflected. "How's everything over here?"

"Oh, same old same old. You know how it is. We have another Carrier in the gestational tanks and he'll be ready in a couple years but for now, everything is pretty stable for the most part. Nothing really new, not for a lack of trying anyway."

"At least you have that much. We're just getting started."

"That's always the hardest part, but it gets easier, don't worry. How're Cloud and Leon?"

"Grumpy and old," the redhead said and gave her a wry smile. Tifa laughed.

"That's to be expected; they've been together for so long they need something to entertain themselves with. Fighting is always exciting, especially with how they do it," she said with a smile and Roxas was a little confused with her wording.

"How they do it?" he asked curiously and Tifa's smiled spread into a grin. Axel couldn't help but smile as well.

"You'd have to see it. It's actually pretty funny," the redhead said. "It gets even better when they get distracted with yelling at each other and don't think anyone is watching. Just be careful around them unless you want your eyes to fall out of your head."

"Is it that bad?" Roxas asked.

"Not bad, but it would probably horrify you on a whole new level. You think I'm bad? Pfft…I got nothing on them," Axel said and rolled his eyes.

"I don't think you're horrifying," Roxas defended.

"You don't?" the redhead asked, a little shocked that the blonde would even admit something that wasn't followed up by another insult.

"No," he confirmed. It was the truth. Disgusted and horrified were two different things.

"Oh. Well that's a good thing I guess."

"Why would he be horrified by you?" Tifa asked curiously with a slight tilt of her head.

"Long story, don't worry about it," the redhead said and effectively ended the string of conversation. "Anyway, what did you want to do here, Roxas?"

"Oh… uh, I was actually just wanting to make sure there were actually women around here."

"Well, you're looking at one," Tifa said with a smile. "If it isn't already so obvious."

"Yes I know," the blonde gave her a smile. "What is your Totem if I may ask?"

"Jaguar."

"Tifa won't tell you but she has the melanism allele as well," Axel added and Tifa smacked him on the arm. He grinned. "What? I think it's beautiful," he said and she shuffled a foot, blushing a bit.

"Yeah well…" she drifted.

"Oh really? Interesting, I'd like to see that," Roxas said. He knew what an allele was, and he knew what melanin was. So a melanism allele must have meant she was completely black. A black panther as it were, but a Jaguar. The blonde didn't recognize the term right away in relation to the animal kingdom but he liked to think he had wonderful deduction skills.

"Stop it you guys!" she twittered and blushed harder, holding her cheeks between her hands. Axel chuckled and reached out, pulling her forward and hugging her to his chest gently. She hugged him back, burying her embarrassed face into his shirt. Tifa apparently had a complex about her unique trait. The blonde felt a little left out of whatever they were sharing in their embrace because it was obvious to him the Axel had a little of the same complex. About what, he had no idea since it wasn't like Axel was a _white_ tiger or anything strange, but it wasn't a very farfetched idea considering the way he acted while he was in Primal form. The redhead laid his cheek against her hair.

"You really need to get over it and accept that it's beautiful, Tifa. You're the only one that thinks it isn't," he cooed and she sighed.

"I can say the same thing about you, you know," she muttered and he snorted.

"It's not the same."

"Sure it is."

"No…"

"Yes."

"No."

"Uh, yeah it is Axel."

"Uh, no it isn't Tifa."

"Yeah!"

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Tifa," called another male voice and she pushed away from Axel a little, looking behind her. Roxas looked around them and blinked at the man approaching them. He looked nice enough, but the blonde was worried that Tifa was just caught hugging another man and didn't know how this new one would react if they had anything between one another. He wasn't a Carrier, Roxas could assume with relative certainty because he had normal clothes on. His wild black hair was a little shocking though, even if his face was kind.

"Zack," she said with a bright smile. She left Axel and went to hug the newcomer with vigor. He hugged her back readily.

"Hey Zack," Axel said casually.

"Hey! Axel! Haven't seen you in… six years?" Zack said after a moment of thought. "Well I mean I've _seen_ you but we have stood around in the hall and talked for a while. Who's the kid?"

"I'm not a kid, and my name is Roxas," the blonde blurted, feeling a little insulted.

"Sorry, didn't mean any offense. You're Axel's Charge then?" Zack asked and Roxas nodded. "Cool, I'm sorry to say we can't stay and chat but I have to take Tifa away from you guys. Duty calls, you know," he said and Axel gave him a lopsided grin. Tifa looked horrified and smacked the man on the chest. Roxas was confused, but decided not to voice it.

"That's fine, we can come back and visit another time," the redhead said and Zack nodded. Tifa sighed, her cheeks a bit pink.

"Teach you to embarrass me…" she muttered under her breath before she crouched some and hugged the man around the waist. She stood easily and Zack was lifted into the air and slung over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Axel laughed; Roxas was shocked at the woman's strength and couldn't do much but gape at them. Zack just sighed.

"You're so abusive," the man said and Tifa muttered angrily again before stomping down the hall with him. Zack gave them a smile and a light wave before they disappeared around the corner together. Axel had to hold his sides otherwise he felt like his lungs were going to burst from his ribcage. Roxas was completely amazed. Zack was not a small man regardless of how one looked at him. Tifa had strong looking limbs but the man still had a good four inches on her and possibly another fifty pounds. The redhead calmed some, trying to catch his breath and he looked at Roxas' lost expression before he started his laughing fit all over again.

"What?" Roxas glared at him. He couldn't help that he didn't understand fully. Another minute of laughter passed and Axel calmed again before standing straight. The last few trances of a light giggle fell from him and he sighed.

"Don't worry about it."

"No, tell me. What did I miss from all that?"

"Zack basically just came up to us and told us 'okay time to screw,' and left. That isn't funny?"

"…Oh," the blonde said and blushed a little. "Well that was a little more information than I needed to know."

"You're the one who wanted to know what you missed."

"Yeah, and now I regret it because now I can't stop imagining Tifa naked."

"Wow, tell me how you _really_ feel," Axel said sarcastically and gave him grin.

"I'm a little surprised I said that, actually…" Roxas admitted and itched his scalp some. It was a comforting feeling to know he could still find women attractive after so much turmoil in his mind pertaining to a certain redhead. He was a little concerned that he wasn't feeling much stirring in his pants because of it though, but chocked it up to whatever had happened to him last night and deemed that his fleshy friend was tired.

"Yeah, me too. What else did you need here? Tifa is a pretty good example of a female so unless you need to find someone else, we actually have work we need to get done. Unless you're unwilling to cooperate with me again."

"What are we doing today?"

"We need to finish what we started and you need to enter your first log about me into the Catalogue."

"Oh…" the blonde drifted. He wasn't looking forward to that. He considered insisting he needed to look at more examples of breasts and vaginas but he figured that'd be a little creepy of him. He tried to put himself in the women's shoes. 'Hello, my name is Roxas and I'm having gay thoughts about my Carrier so can I stare at your tits for a minute?' didn't exactly justify having to stay there. He sighed.

"Roxas…" Axel trailed. The blonde looked at him and the redhead noted on how obviously torn up he was feeling about the whole experience. "I'm going to ask you something and I want you to answer honestly. I'm not trying to insult you or accuse you of anything," he started.

 _Oh god,_ Roxas thought. "Alright," he said.

"Do you honestly _want_ to be my Charge? Or are you just going through the motions and hoping I forget about you somewhere along the line? You always seem upset when I mention replacing you but you're so unwilling to actually do anything that I'm a little concerned. Help me understand."

"I…" the blonde croaked through a suddenly dry throat. "I don't know how to answer that."

"Because you're unsure of the answer or because there's more to it than that?" the redhead asked.

"Maybe a little of both."

"Oh. Well let's get out of here and we can sit down and figure it out before we move forward, alright?" Axel asked and Roxas nodded.

* * *

"I want you to understand that if you leave willingly or I replace you, you won't have the consequences that you would have if you broke your contract. To sign the contract and then shirk your responsibilities would cause me harm and that's what the facility is trying to avoid. But if you leave for some other reason and it's a mutual decision between us both, there aren't any of the consequences. If you wanted to continue using the stasis though, you'd have to pay for it, just like the rest of the general public. But you won't be barred from using it at all," Axel said.

"I didn't know that," Roxas said.

"You're not a slave, and you do have freedoms. In a lot of ways you have more freedoms than I do."

"I do?"

"Yes. I'm government property. Literally, I have a model number to prove it. I can't leave here to do anything else without having serious repercussions."

"That sounds awful."

"Well I understand what my role is and I don't mind it so much because it's for the greater good in the long run. It's not like I'm being forced to run a drug cartel or a prostitution ring or anything."

"True, but that still doesn't make it sound any more hospitable."

"I know it doesn't. The government runs a lot of what we do here because that's probably where we get the money from, so I don't argue it. I just wanted you to know that you're not being forced to stay here, just being forced to not being neglectful. If you don't enter your first log about me soon, it'll send a red flag over to Ansem and then you'll be in trouble. I don't want that."

"Okay. I understand," Roxas said, taking a breath. Once again he was faced with the line of thought that said _if I leave here, where would I go?_

"Can we do this then?" the redhead asked. The blonde hesitated. He didn't want to have the same reaction he had before but if he wanted to stay at the facility and keep his job, he had to because it was part of the process. He took another deep breath and nodded. He just had to take and objective stance on it. Get in, get the stats, get out, job done, let's have lunch and forget it happened. Right, he could handle that. They went to the lab together in silence to get Roxas' tablet and stylus before heading off into Roxas' room again. The blonde was thankful he could do this part in the comfort of his own space but it was still a bedroom, and awfully private.

"Uh… so where do we start?" the blonde asked as the door clicked shut behind them.

"Wherever you want to. You can take your time, so long as we get everything done by the end of the week, I don't have a preference," Axel said and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it aside. Roxas watched the fabric drift away idly and his cheeks turned a light pink knowing what would have to come next. There was a sudden tightness in his chest as a familiar sensation crept under his skin. It was the fear he was feeling from early that morning. He was scared of this. He didn't know what part he was scared of though, going through the motions and getting it done, or if it was a fear of what reaction he might have once Axel faced him fully. The redhead slid across his bed as he had done the previous time they tried this and waited patiently for Roxas to start.

Unbeknownst to the blonde, Axel's Signet was giving him warnings again. Not blatant 'my arm is falling off come save me' warnings but warnings of Roxas' apparent high level of distress. He could tell the Charge was having serious issues with the whole thing but Axel had to push him a little in order to keep him. He didn't want to wait another eighty or ninety years to find someone else. He liked Roxas when he wasn't being a complete dick and if he could get past that defensive shell he put up, they would make a wonderful team. He just had to coax him along. Roxas hesitated by the door some but eventually took off his shoes and climbed onto the bed and took his place next to the redhead. Axel looked at him and was a little stunned to find the blonde's face so flushed and unsure.

"I don't suppose…you could just tell me your model number?" the blonde asked.

"I'm not supposed to. You checking it yourself gives Ansem clear indications that we're getting along just fine, which is what needs to happen. Is there something you're not telling me? You look like you're about to have an aneurism."

"I-I'm fine…"

"No you're not. I can tell that you're not. Something is going on with you enough that it's setting off the Signet. It's happening now and it happened at three in the morning so spill it."

"It's setting off the Signet? Really? But I'm not dying…"

"You're extremely distressed and I want to know why so I can fix it."

"It happened this morning, too?"

"Yes. It woke me up."

"…Oh."

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure. I had a dream that I can't remember and afterwards I felt…fearful? I guess? I'm not exactly sure but I'm feeling the same way now and…" the blonde trailed. _Why am I telling him this?_ he thought.

"You're scared of me?" Axel asked, his eyebrows rising on his forehead. That was the last thing he wanted to hear. He was expecting Roxas to be afraid of him in his Primal form, not like this. The blonde could see his expression droop some and the redhead let out a sigh. "Can you tell me why? So I can fix it?"

"I don't understand it myself. How would you fix it?"

"There are certain surgeries I can go through in order to make myself look less intimidating if that's the problem. But they're extensive and—"

"You'd go through reconstructive surgery in order to make me feel less afraid of you? Why go to that extreme?" Roxas didn't know whether to feel flattered that Axel would care so much or if he should feel disturbed by it.

"Because the last thing I want is for you to be afraid of me."

"I don't even know what I'm afraid of for sure. I wasn't afraid of you before so why would that change? You've done nothing different."

"…So you're _not_ afraid of me?"

"I don't think it's you. I think it's me," the blonde said and looked away. "I think… I'm afraid of myself."

"Is it something I can help with?"

"I don't think so, not unless you want to get a sex change or someth—" he slapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from blurting anything else out. Axel quirked a brow.

"You're afraid because I'm a guy?" the redhead asked. "Well I suppose that makes sense, you're not gay so I suppose this would bother you, right?" Roxas was silent, keeping his palm over his mouth. Axel tilted his head a little and watched the blonde's expression become a little more frantic the longer he hesitated to answer. "Roxas?" Blue eyes slid waveringly to Axel's face and the blonde's complexion got a little redder. "A-are you afraid of me… because you think you might be attracted to me?" he asked carefully. Roxas had to remind himself to keep breathing. He scooted back to the top of the bed and pressed his back to the wall, removing his hand from his mouth and replacing it with a pillow to cover his blushing face. He curled his knees up to his chest and stayed as still as he could, hoping he could disappear.

Axel was surprised. He tried to think of when he watched the blonde grow up. He couldn't recall any time in Roxas' life where he showed any signs of homosexuality but he could remember many times where he avoided the topic like the plague. He would never change for gym class in the locker room while in school. He would force himself into a bathroom stall instead and rush out to avoid seeing anyone else getting changed. He wasn't into contact sports in school and preferred to stick his nose in a book rather than touch anyone like that. There were a few overly flamboyant boys in his school that he always made a special effort to avoid, like walking on the other side of the hall from them if he had to pass by. Roxas was afraid of homosexuality; his _own_ homosexuality - or bisexuality as it may be. Comprehension plowed into Axel like a semi truck full of elephants and he wondered how he would rectify the problem. He pushed himself across the bed and stopped in front of Roxas. The blonde flinched and his fingers tightened around the pillow to keep it cemented in place. Axel took it and ripped it away easily, leaving the blonde wide-eyed in surprise. He hugged his knees and buried his eyes into them instead. The redhead sighed.

"Stop it," Axel ordered. "Number one, you're giving me a headache with how much angst is being sent through the Signet. Number two, you're being ridiculous. What is the big deal?"

"It's disgusting…" the blonde said quietly.

"Who says?"

"Everyone."

"Oh yeah? I'd like you to go tell Leon and Cloud that and see how quickly they disembowel you."

"They can be gay, but I'm not supposed to be."

"And who told you that?" Axel asked with mild irritation. The idea that their progress was being delayed simply because the blonde was denying himself was not what he wanted to hear. He was hoping for the reason to be a little more drastic and life-threatening so it would give the hesitation some actual merit. The blonde was silent though, as he couldn't think of an answer for the redhead. "Roxas?" he tried again. More silence. "Tell me who told you that you shouldn't be gay."

"…my parents," Roxas said quietly and Axel threw up his arms in exasperation.

"And when was the last time you listened to _them_?"

"Just leave me alone…" he pleaded and tried to curl up tighter and vanish.

"No. You're being unreasonable. Look at me," the redhead ordered and Roxas didn't move. "Look at me," he said again and still nothing. He put his hands on the blonde's shoulders and gave him a gentle shake. "Roxas!" he said.

"Stop…please…" the other said as if he were on the verge of tears. Axel released him and sighed, sitting back. The redhead shuffled off the bed and picked up his shirt and pulled it over his head again. He cast one more look at Roxas, who was unmoving still and rubbed his eyes.

"I'll fill out the paperwork for your replacement," Axel said with a slight monotone. Roxas didn't react. The redhead heaved another sigh before stepping through the door and leaving the blonde to himself.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Roxas had stayed in his room wallowing in his self pity for several hours after Axel left. He didn't get angry, he didn't feel disgusted, he simply felt _pathetic_. Axel had made a good point. When _was_ the last time Roxas listened to his parents? Not for a while anyway and even then he couldn't help but feel the twinge of rebellion he had felt back then when he had demanded his parents to leave him at home while they went to church. As his thoughts drifted in the direction of what his parents would disapprove of, he had to laugh a little bitterly when he remembered what his supposed downfall was. If his parents were going to disown him for having a child out of wedlock, what would they have done if he had come home toting his Genetics professor into the living room and dropping onto the couch in a fit of half naked lustful desire? That could've very well have been where he would be right now if he had accepted his problems back when he found himself unable to change in the locker rooms at school. His problems? Or his differences? Was it really a problem? Sora didn't seem to think so. Roxas sighed and decided he would feel better if he could talk to his brother so he pushed himself off of his bed and started down the hallway.

"Sora I—is that Riku?" the blonde asked as he pushed the door open to their lab and saw a very calm snow leopard laying across one of the metal tables. The brunette was standing off to the side with an earpiece hanging off his ear with the chord trailing down and into the cat's maw.

"Isn't he cute?" Sora said and threw and arm around Riku's neck and rubbed his face into the silken fur. Roxas couldn't argue with him. Riku, for all intents and purposes, was incredibly cute. The cat had one overall shape. Whereas one can tell the difference between an animal's legs and feet because of the length and shape of their limbs, with Riku's Primal, it was almost as if it held a certain degree of symmetry. His wide snowshoe paws were just as wide as the legs they sat upon and his tail was just as thick as his legs which hung off the table onto the floor. He had a very broad and powerful chest which was followed up by a wide and powerful torso. Roxas couldn't tell if the uniformity was because of how fluffy the entire beast was or if he was genuinely that thick all over but whatever it was, it made for a soft and cute package. His face was a bit of a contrast though, with the relatively small shape of his head accented with wide eyes and small ears. His coloration was that of any other snow leopard the blonde had seen; a steely gray with a white underbelly and a splattering of spots and rosettes that got larger as they lead down his tail.

"I have to agree with you, he is…adorable," Roxas said and gave them a weak smile. For as nice as Riku may look, he was a blatant reminder of what a terrible Charge the blonde had been so far. "Sora, I wanted to talk to you."

"Hm?" the younger sibling said as he pulled his eyes over the crest of Riku's neck to look at Roxas with his face still half buried in fluff. "We can't do it here?" he asked.

"I would prefer if we didn't."

"Oh…well let me take Riku outside and we can talk out there while he's doing his thing okay?" Sora asked and Roxas nodded. The brunette held the table steady as Riku pushed himself up. He opened his mouth for Sora to disconnect the earpiece before he jumped of the table and landed with a soft ' _thunk_ ' on the floor. Immediately, the cat flicked his tail around and caught the end out it between his teeth, carrying it instead of letting it trail behind him normally. Roxas quirked a brow.

"What is he doing?"

"What do you mean?" Sora asked and looked at Riku. "Oh that, well other people might like their balls hanging out for people to see, but Riku doesn't." The cat padded calmly past them and started to push at the doors. The blonde found that carrying his tail did indeed provide adequate coverage and snorted a little at the movement.

"Weird," he said and reached back to push the door open for Riku. As soon as the animal made it out into the hallway there was a delighted squeal before a streak of sandy blonde zoomed past and Riku was lifted into Demyx's arms for a strong cuddle. The tail slipped between the animal's back legs as his body was stretched, shielding himself fully before he could be completely exposed. Zexion came running down the hall and stopped by them, panting heavily.

"Damn it Demyx, you need to warn me before you take off like that," the Charge said and whacked his Carrier in the arm. Demyx ignored his protest and shoved his face into Riku's fur.

"I can't help it! He's so damn cute!" the sandy blonde squealed and hugged Riku closer. The cat let out an indignant snort, but made no move to fight him. Demyx moved a hand up and tried to pull the tail from Riku's mouth which set off a series of wiggles and gyrations as the cat protested and tried to get away. Demyx ended up dropping him and giving the cat a glare. "You know I hate it when you do that," he grumped but Riku ignored him and continued down the hall. He was about to head after the cat when Zexion caught his shoulder.

"We have work to do, don't go chasing after him now, he might actually lose patience with you one of these days and hurt you," Zexion warned. Sora shrugged and walked after his Carrier. Demyx started to protest but Roxas ignored them and went after Sora and Riku.

The obstacle course was perpendicular to the pool. It was mostly made of wood that was severely scratched up and tattered but provided adequate enough entertainment for anyone that wanted to use it. There were stone outcroppings and formations made out of the same crystalline formations as the pool and waterfall and could be used for lounging and climbing. There were fat pieces of rope to use and hang on as well as a tire swing hanging from metal and sometimes wooden posts. Riku opted to scratch one of the posts before taking a climb on one of the rocks.

"So what did you want?" Sora asked and turned to his brother. Roxas took a deep and uneasy breath.

"Axel's going to replace me," he said. "Because of my… issues."

"Issues?"

"My problem with gay…stuff."

"Oh. Well get over it," Sora said. "I don't want you to leave, why don't you just suck it up?"

"It's not that easy for me, Sora. It's really difficult for me to give in like that after so many years of trying to convince myself otherwise."

"But you don't have to kill yourself and your opportunities here in order to preserve whatever stupid defense you have. No one is going to judge you like that, Roxas. I know dad was tough on you because you're the oldest but you can deal with it now," he grabbed onto the blonde's arms and gave him a little shake, "don't ruin what you can have here because you're scared." Sora's eyebrows pushed together and lifted high on his forehead giving Roxas a pleading face.

"I don't know how to not be scared."

"Wh—huh… yeah I'm not sure how you can do that either. Axel's going to replace you because you won't work with him or to save you from yourself?"

"I have no idea, it could be both. He's filling out the paperwork right now."

"Now! Stop him! You don't want to leave do you?"

"I don't want to leave because you'd be here by yourself, but I also wouldn't have anywhere else to go if do. I don't mind it here, but it's really making things hard on me."

"You're making things hard on yourself, not the place," Sora said and gave him a serious face. "Wouldn't you say that's true?" Roxas looked over to see Riku rolling onto his side and lounging in the sunlight before he sighed and looked at Sora again. He couldn't argue the logic.

"You're right…" he said quietly. "How are you dealing with it?"

"I don't fight it. That's the easiest way to 'deal' I suppose. If I forced myself to deny it I'd probably be really miserable. Are you miserable?"

"Relatively miserable I suppose. I don't know if it's my denial or my guilt though, neither of them are making my life any fun right now."

"Well okay, so don't deny yourself. What's going to happen if you just… let it happen? Is it really going to bring about the end of the world?"

"I suppose not…"

"Good. Because if the world ended when gay guys got together Elton John would've been right up there with Hitler on the evil list, let me tell you," Sora said and Roxas laughed a little. The brunette smiled at him and the blonde tried to smile back. He was still extremely apprehensive and didn't even know how to approach Axel at this point but what his brother was saying made a lot of sense.

"How'd you get to be so damn smart?" Roxas asked and Sora grinned.

"You're book smart, I'm people smart. If you asked me what the fuck Riku was doing earlier in the lab I could tell you how pretty his eyes are but that's about it."

"Wow. Easily distracted?"

"Maybe just a little. He had to repeat himself like eighty times and he eventually gave up because I was getting side tracked."

"That's really bad, Sora."

"Yeah well… whatever. So long as I can do the stuff in my contract, he said he doesn't mind. And I can handle that."

"That'll have to do though I'm not satisfied with taking a hands off approach like that. I want to be involved."

"Well you're not going to get shit if you let Axel replace you, dude. Get going," Sora ordered and smacked Roxas in the shoulder. "And remember! Elton John and _rainbows_!" he said with a grin and the blonde glared at him.

"I hate you sometimes, you know that?"

"Yeah, but it's normal."

* * *

Axel groaned inwardly and rubbed his forehead. He hated paperwork. Why did they even use paper for this bullshit anyway? Everything else is computerized why do they make an unhappy process even worse by forcing one to use a damn pen on a dead tree? Because they're probably out to get him, just like everything else involved with his damn project was. Roxas would be gone in less than two days after Ansem got the papers, and then he could focus on procuring someone who wasn't completely useless. He could start his project over again and try to get a positive result. A fresh start. The idea was good enough, so why was he so unhappy about it?

Oh yeah, _paperwork_.

"Axel!" Roxas said as he shoved the doors to their lab open. He was panting as if he had been running but looked as if he was about to shatter into a million pieces.

"What now?" the redhead grumbled and continued writing. "Here to dump more angst and bullshit on me to delay my paperwork?"

"Don't replace me. Please," the blonde pleaded. Axel's hand stopped writing and he looked up from under furrowed brows.

"Why should I do that?" he asked angrily.

"Because."

"…I can't believe that's your best defense."

"Me either, but please. Don't. I don't want to leave."

"You don't want to leave because you're afraid of being alone or because you genuinely want to be here and be a part of something good?"

"Both," Roxas said and crossed the distance between them. He took the pen out Axel's hand and tossed it over his shoulder. "Please."

"Well you just threw my pen across the room, so now I'm stopped. Get to talking, otherwise I'm going get up and go get it," he ordered and Roxas looked at the papers. There were several pages already filled out in Axel's neat computer font lettering. The blonde wondered if it was just the redhead or if all the Carriers had that handwriting.

"I don't know what to say."

"Do you realize how long it took me to find a damn pen in this place? Or for that matter, ink for an archaic printer for _paper_?"

"Uh… no not really. I can understand why it would be difficult though," Roxas was thoroughly confused why this line of conversation was significant.

"A really long ass time. They really make it difficult to replace someone and yet here I am, trying to do it with another distraction giving me no reason to stop. I don't want to do this, Roxas. I don't like paperwork and telling you that you're acting useless. But unless you can somehow defend yourself and tell me something I don't already know, I'm not going to have much of a choice."

"Well… can I have a day? To figure it out?"

"Why should I do that for you? If you don't already know, what's going to change so drastically in a day?"

"I don't know… I was almost prepared to accept it until I had a twenty minute conversation with Sora and now I'm here, so maybe I'm just bipolar like that."

"That's… really strange Roxas."

"Yeah I know."

"What did Sora say to make you change your mind?"

"Well… he didn't really tell me much but he convinced me that the world wasn't going to explode if I stopped denying myself."

"It's true, you know. The world was already blown up once before and that was with nukes. Your sexuality doesn't equate to a nuclear missile, I'm sorry."

"I'm aware of that now."

"Okay, so aside from you knowing that, what else do you have to tell me?"

"I'm not sure…"

"How about an apology? I could go for one of those."

"O-oh…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not apologizing sooner and for being a tremendous asshole. I didn't even think about it. Sorry," the blonde said and his cheeks turned a little pink. He fidgeted in his spot. Axel looked him over for a moment before sighing and rubbing his forehead again.

"I don't know why I put up with this," he muttered to himself and reached over to push the papers back into a neat pile. He picked up the stack and pushed himself across the lab to the desk before depositing them in a drawer. Roxas blinked and watched him.

"I'm staying?"

"For now. But you're going to work your ass off to get caught up before the end of the week."

"Okay," the blonde said and looked at his watch to check the date. It was Tuesday, so he had some time. Not a whole lot since 'the end of the week' usually meant Friday, but more than he thought he needed. Axel went and retrieved his pen before tucking it away into the desk as well. "What's first?" he asked.

"Let's hope third time's the charm," Axel said grumpily.

* * *

After a quick bit of lunch and some light conversation at the table, the familiar scene of Axel and Roxas in the blonde's bedroom replayed itself. This time around though, Roxas forced himself to start filling in the boxes where Axel's information went on the tablet. When he found that the device was basically a virtual clip board for a stat sheet, he decided to keep his eyes on it as much as he could in order to prevent himself from focusing on Axel's toplessness. The tablet was hooked to his watch by way of a thin cable and he tapped at the screen with the stylus, filling in the blanks. The one for Axel's model number, however, was being saved for last. In an effort to keep the air between them as tension free as possible, Axel tried to keep the conversation flowing.

"So we're supposed to be at a conference in a week," the redhead said and grunted as Roxas pressed his hands into the small of his back, making sure everything was pain-free. Which it wasn't but there was nothing of deep concern.

"A conference?"

"Yes. We'll have to go outside of the dome and meet with some official people that Ansem wants to convince to give us more money or something. I have no idea. The only thing I know is that I'm supposed to put on a show for everyone and change for them to show that we're not just dicking around with this and we're serious."

"Just you? What about everyone else?" Roxas asked and he poked away at his tablet.

"Leon, Riku, Tifa, Demyx, and I are all going and we all have to do the same thing. There will be some people from the canine facility as well as a few others but this will be my first conference and so I'm like the star of the show. I'm also the youngest and the newest strain so they have to show me off," he said with irritation.

"You don't sound very happy about it."

"I don't like being on display."

"Oh. Well why not?"

"Because people are afraid of me."

"I'm sure you're not the only one that scares them. These people are like… politicians or what?"

"Sponsors, politicians, rich yuppies that have nothing better to do with their time, other scientists too. They're all human and they're all going to be scared out of their minds."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Well what if we can convince them otherwise?" the blonde asked. Axel looked over his shoulder at him and quirked a brow.

"How do you figure?"

"I'm going to be right there with you, right?"

"In theory, yes."

"Assuming I'm still here, yeah," Roxas said and lowered his eyes a little but didn't let the comment get to him, it was warranted. "Will it not be enough to show them that you're not attacking me?"

"I doubt it."

"Well what if I don't know, I sit with you or something. Maybe poke at you or something to show that you're not going to flip a shit."

"Poke at me?"

"Normally when you mess with a cat's foot or touch their nose or whatever they get all pissy, you get what I mean? We can do something like that."

"I guess. Don't jab me in the eye or anything otherwise I _will_ get pissy."

"Of course not. But I want to see you change before then, can we do that?"

"If we get through this part of it, yeah. I guess we can," Axel said quietly. He curled his arms in front of his face and rested his chin on them, considering that notion. "You're not afraid of seeing me though?" he asked.

"Not really no, I'm more concerned about you walking past me and stepping on my foot or something," the blonde said and pushed himself down the bed until he could get at one of Axel's feet. Despite his not wearing shoes, the redhead's feet were very clean and Roxas wondered who went around and cleaned the facility. He couldn't remember seeing anyone working like that. He knew everyone was responsible for their own labs and bedrooms but he didn't know about the hallways or the cafeteria. He contemplated this while smoothing his fingers over the intricate bones of the redhead's foot and over his ankles, making sure nothing weird was going on.

"You're not intimidated by that though?"

"Should I be?"

"Everyone is."

"Really? I didn't get that impression."

"Well maybe not so much other Carriers, but the humans are. Definitely. I hate the looks I get, like they expect me to leap out and attack them at any given point."

"Oh…I never noticed before. But then again, I've only seen you in person like that once and it wasn't the best scenario…" Roxas trailed and moved on to the other foot.

"Yeah. I know."

"Sorry."

"Let's just put it behind us and move forward."

"Okay," the blonde said and jotted down what he observed on the tablet. "Is that why you don't like your Primal form? Because of the people?"

"For the most part yeah. It also doesn't help that I'm the biggest and tend to be a bit of a klutz because some places in the facility weren't made for someone my size. I knock over a lot of stuff if I happen to get inside. I usually try to stay inside when I'm not using the pool because I don't have anyone of my kind to hang around with but even then, the indoor enclosures are boring as hell and full of shit for me to knock over. Inside the facility proper isn't generally somewhere I go though, like I did the last time because that's where the _expensive_ shit to knock over is."

"Oh. The imagery there is actually sort of funny to me, I'm sorry," Roxas said and couldn't help but smile a little.

"Yeah well… after almost ninety years of 'damn it Axel, get out of here!' it gets a little tiresome," the redhead huffed and laid his head on his arms.

"Understandable. Did you ever think to go hang out with the others?"

"I do sometimes. But my change schedule is erratic because I only do it when I feel I have to, so I don't always find someone. Demyx always wants me to go for runs but it's really not my thing."

"Oh. Well… I don't really know what to say. I suppose I could go for a swim with you if you wanted me to."

"Yeah?" Axel asked and pushed himself up some to look over his shoulder at the blonde. Roxas shrugged.

"Sure, why not?"

"I just… never had anyone offer before. Thanks," the redhead said a little sheepishly.

"I never knew cats liked water though."

"Well I don't really swim so much as I lie around and soak, especially if it's really hot. I'm not very good at climbing so I don't really like the obstacle course but I lay around with Leon in the field some times and play with his kids on occasion."

"How many kids does Leon have?" the blonde asked, with a raised brow.

"There's eleven Carriers of his kind but only one other male, and between them there's about twenty cubs? Something like that? So really he has about thirty if you want to get really technical, but Carrier family relationships are a little weird. The groups of Carriers generally call each other siblings, rather than all of them calling the original Carrier 'dad' or something. Does that make sense?"

"So like… a Carrier that came from Leon would be called his brother or sister rather than his child?"

"Generally that's how it goes but they're all bred from Leon and Cloud'd DNA. So it's like they're all their children."

"Why do they call them siblings to begin with?"

"Society mostly. If you really think about it, the entire program is centered around very careful inbreeding. Kind of freaky, right?"

"…Yeah. I can see why they want to be called brothers and sisters."

"Exactly. But when you're trying to restart a population starting from one, it's a necessity. Which is why everything has to be precise so we get different sets of DNA per individual so when the time does come to make legitimate cubs and kittens, there aren't any deformities."

"I see. It sounds like a very complex puzzle; trying to find all the different combinations for all the different people using only two people's DNA."

"It is," Axel agreed.

"I still don't understand why they don't just make a bunch of Carriers to start out with though."

"Because a lot of times they're trying to piece together hundreds of samples of Totem DNA. When the Great War happened and most of the animals died, a lot of the evidence they left behind was tainted with radiation and unusable. So the Technicians who gathered what they could, weeded out the abnormalities in order to get a pure strain. Sometimes they get more and can make more than one Carrier, sometimes they get less. This all depends on the type of species they're trying to save and where they lived and their altitude, so on and so fourth."

"Oh. How many different types of Carriers are there?" Roxas asked curiously and set his tablet and stylus aside in favor of listening to the conversation.

"A _lot_. We have entire ecosystems to revive and in order to do that we need _everything_ we can get in order to make that happen. Meaning, they have the top predators, such as me and the other big cats, but they also have the rabbits and birds and prey animals like that going at the same time. Now, that's not to say that everything is being replaced for human use as well using Carriers. Most of our meat and non-plant food comes from cloned animals like the dairy cows and some types of fish."

"Are there Carriers for the water animals too? That'd be a rough one to navigate…" Roxas trailed, trying to picture a Carrier having to change into a fish but nowhere near a body of water.

"The aquatic animals weren't effected as much by the radiation and it's true some of them had problems when the land masses receded and the water level dropped to fill the holes but it's not nearly as critical as the ones on land. They're not the main focus right now but I agree with you on the difficulty that would pose. There are, however Carriers for some freshwater creatures like crocodiles and things but they're forgoing the freshwater fish Carriers and replenishing the ecosystems with clones for that. For now anyway. I can't even fathom having to turn into a _fish_. That'd be terrible. Or even worse, a _whale_? Good god."

"I didn't even think about whales. Where would you get the space?"

"Same place they found the space for my fat ass, probably," Axel said and they both laughed a little.

"Do you think we could visit the canine facility sometime? I'd like to see what they're like."

"Eh… they don't like us too much. We don't really like them much, either."

"Oh. Why not? Cat's and dogs get along fine."

"Domestic ones do, yeah. We think they're assholes, they think we're stuck up snobs. It's more of a human hate kind of thing rather than an animal hate thing."

"Strange. Speaking of domestic animals, do those have Carriers too?"

"No. Pets are illegal right now. The government isn't wasting the money on reviving something that isn't necessary. They have the DNA and capabilities to revive them though, and they will in the future probably but not right now. It's illegal to breed them or to take them out of the ecosystem domes and really, by this point, all the pets that _did_ survive the war would be long dead by now."

"So Paris Hilton couldn't have put her stupid dog in stasis and keep it as is?" Roxas asked with a light smirk. Axel laughed.

"Nope. No stasis for stupid little dogs. I was tempted to steal one from your world though and see how much I could get for it if someone wanted to buy it."

"Wow, precious commodities?"

"Precious black market commodities, yes."

"Weird. I never thought that a beagle would be so lucrative."

"Yeah…it is a little backwards, isn't it?" Axel added thoughtfully. Roxas shrugged. "Are you finished?" the redhead asked and picked up the blonde's tablet. He touched the screen and flicked through the page. "Just the model number, then?" he asked.

"Y-yeah…" the blonde said, instantly nervous. He was feeling a little more comfortable around Axel because of their lengthy conversation but he had the constant uneasiness in the back of his mind when it came to that part. They had been sitting together for a few hours and Roxas even managed to survive the parts that involved pushing Axel's shorts up and touching his thighs but he still wasn't prepared for the model number. The atmosphere was making things a little worse because the sun was going down and giving the room a soft glow. It was feeling a little too… personal.

"Are you going to be alright? The last thing I need is for you to have a heart attack and up and die on me."

"I'm not looking forward to having one either, honestly."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, it's not printed on me so small that you have to get up close in order to see it."

"O-okay…" the blonde stuttered and looked away.

"Roxas," Axel said and the other reluctantly brought his eyes back. "You're going to have to get comfortable with this sometime soon. We can't continue if you don't know my model number. If you need to, you can think of me as a thing rather than a person."

"I don't want to think like that," he insisted with his brows furrowed. "That's insulting to you."

"I'm just trying to make it easier for you. I don't take it personally because in a lot of ways, I _am_ a thing."

"Still. Objects don't hold conversations."

"True, but it doesn't change what I am," the redhead shrugged. "How else can I make you more comfortable?"

"I-I don't know," Roxas said, blushing. He looked away again and held as still as he could, willing his hands to stop shaking. Axel winced as the Signet started to nag him again. His mind reeled a little for ideas. He sighed and pushed himself up to a sitting position before moving to Roxas' side. The blonde's blush darkened and he flinched a little with Axel's proximity but didn't look at him. The redhead hesitated some but reached up and touched the other's shoulder. Roxas startled and looked at him suddenly with wide and frightened eyes. Axel's heart sunk and he tried to let the tension out of his face enough to give him a reassuring smile.

"I'm not going to hurt you, you know," he said carefully. Roxas' eyes searched his face for a moment before he nodded.

"I know…" he said.

"Take a deep breath for me?" the redhead urged and Roxas tried his best to take one without making his breath shake and rattle with the effort. Axel was concerned with how much this was bothering the blonde.

"I don't have to touch you?"

"Well, not unless you _want_ to," the redhead teased and grinned a little. Roxas looked even more frightened and the smile disappeared instantly. "Sorry, sorry, bad time for a joke," he amended. He cleared his throat a little, "do you know why you're so scared? You told me you were accepting yourself so what's the problem now? Is it me?"

"No, I'm just… nervous I guess. I'm not good with people like Sora is and even with my last girlfriend it was a long while before we even saw each other naked so to do it with you is a little sudden, even if it's for something like this. Plus, you'd be the first guy I'd see naked… willingly. I've seen Sora only because he's my brother and we took baths together when we were younger and stuff, so he doesn't count. But you should know all this, you saw it all probably."

"Actually I never watched those things about you. I saw you and your girlfriends together a lot but as soon as any clothing started to be removed, I didn't stick around."

"Really?" the blonde asked and gave him a skeptical look.

"Really."

"…Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"Would you have believed me? Do you even believe me now?"

"Probably not before, honestly."

"But you believe me now? Because if you don't, I have all the videos on record and you can actually watch yourself grow up if you wanted to."

"…That's actually really creepy. Why do you have them still?"

"Archives. History. I have no idea, I just do as I'm told," Axel said. He shrugged and sat back, happy the casual atmosphere was back and that the Signet calmed down.

"Well why did you say such things to me like you had seen me like that?"

"Anger?"

"Oh…I'm sorry I accused you like that then. I'll take your word for it though; I don't need to see them. The willingness to show them to me is enough."

"I forgive you. Your reaction is fairly common though so yeah, I was insulted, but I didn't really expect anything else."

"So…Sora's the weird one for not flipping out?"

"Yeah, in this case he is."

"Well okay then," the blonde said and gave him a smile. Axel smiled back. They shared a brief silence. "So uh…" Roxas started, the awkwardness coming back to him.

"Model number?"

"Y-yeah…"

"4x31," Axel said and Roxas blinked at him.

"Wh-what?"

"4x31 is my model number."

"But you said I had t—"

"And I changed my mind. Hey, if you want to look anyway be my guest."

"What about the thing with the…and the other stuff…and Ansem?" the blonde stuttered.

"I can see it bothers you a lot. We can fudge this part for now. In the future though, you will have to get up close and personal with me in order to make sure everything is working properly. I'm talking like… serious checkups and touching. Turn your head and cough stuff. It isn't a weekly thing to go that far but a definite every few months."

"…Yay?" the blonde said with heavy fearful sarcasm. Axel laughed.

"If you want to go through this anyway in order to take the first step, you can. But if you need a break, that's fine."

"Do you think I should?"

"What I think doesn't matter at this point," Axel said and stretched himself back. He lay flat on his back and spread his limbs as long as he could to make sure every muscle strained a little before relaxing and itching his stomach idly, looking up at Roxas' ceiling. The blonde was silent and unbeknownst to the redhead, staring intently at his shorts. His attention was jerked away when he felt himself reacting to the redhead again and shoved his hands in his lap, looking away and feeling completely shameful. Axel quirked a brow and looked at him. "Are you okay?" he asked, taking in the sudden shade of red the blonde had taken to again.

"F-fine…" Roxas stuttered.

"You don't sound fine."

"I am."

"Roxas…"

"Axel?"

"What's the problem?"

"No problem."

"Do I need to turn the sensitivity of my Signet up so I'll be able to tell without you telling me?"

"You can do that?" Roxas asked and looked over his shoulder at the redhead with wide eyes. "H-how much would you be able to feel?"

"Everything. I'd be able to tell when you're taking a shit. I don't need to know _that_ much," the redhead said and stuck out his tongue a little.

"Please don't. Does that mean I can do that too?"

"You can, but please don't."

"I don't want to, I was just checking."

"Are you going to tell me or are you forcing me to that extreme?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Because I give a damn, that's why. I want to know when you're having a problem so I can help."

"It's not a problem."

"So there _is_ something?"

 _Damn_ , Roxas thought to himself. "Just… no. Stop please. You can't help me."

"Try me," Axel dared and pushed himself up. Roxas moved a few feet away, keeping his back to the redhead but staying on the bed. Axel squinted at him with pursed lips and the blonde started to mentally scold himself for letting on he was having a reaction.

"I d—" the blonde started to say but stopped himself. _If I said I didn't want his 'help' would I be lying?_ He thought. Axel looked at him quizzically.

"What?" he asked.

"Uh…well," the blonde said and looked the redhead over, feeling his arousal grow under his suppressing palms. He flinched at how terrible he was being, comparing himself to a hormonal schoolgirl. His blush darkened and he started to feel a little light headed. "Can…you get me one of those…um…metal cylinders with the buttons?" he asked. Axel's brow raised a little.

"A specimen canister? Why would y—oh. Uh, yeah… give me a minute," the redhead said sheepishly and pushed off the bed. He gathered up his shirt and left quickly. Roxas took a shaky breath.

"I'm not dying… I'm not dying…" he whispered to himself over and over again. "The world isn't going to explode… I'm not dying…"


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Over the course of the next week, Roxas generally kept to himself but was willingly helping out around the lab and getting his work done. He was nearly caught up by the time Friday rolled around but the preparations for the conference halted any further progress. Axel was satisfied with the amount he was able to get done and in the off hours, the blonde would spend his time at the Catalogue, reading up on tigers. There were a lot of similarities in the mannerisms that Axel would display versus what a tiger would do, the most prominent of which were the vocalizations. Axel tended to get very chatty or would hum to himself if he was in a decent mood and would get deathly silent if he wasn't; much like an actual tiger. Roxas was fascinated and was constantly on the lookout for any other telltale signs of the redhead's Totem.

The biggest problem they had with their progress was having Axel change for Roxas. The redhead didn't mind doing it so long as the blonde wouldn't flip out but the fact that Axel had to be nude in order to do so, posed a problem. By the time Sunday came and went, and the conference drew closer, Roxas still hadn't seen it and it looked like the conference would be his first time. Axel wasn't thrilled with the idea, but he accepted it. It had to happen, one way or another.

"I haaaaaate conferences," Demyx whined and stretched his arms out on the cafeteria table. It was Monday and the conference was in the morning and everyone seemed a little tense. Sora and Roxas were completely unsuspecting and didn't understand the problem.

"So… what is it we're doing exactly?" Sora asked and stuffed a forkful of salad in his mouth.

"Ansem and some of his apprentices and other important guys are going to transport us to a convention center and we're going to be gawked at like displays in an oddity museum," Leon said bitterly. "Hopefully the general public isn't allowed in this one. Last time I got a rotten orange thrown at me."

"Yeah, and they missed and it hit _me_ ," Cloud added and glared at his tray. "How hard is it to aim for a giant lion? Seriously?"

"Ass," Leon said and gave Cloud a glare. The Charge gave him a smirk.

"Don't complain about my ass like you hate it."

"…Do you really need to start that here?"

"Don't bring it up and I won't have to say anything."

"Shut your damn mouth every once and a while and I wouldn't have to bring it up."

"Well maybe if you had jumped in the line of fire instead of backing away from the orange like it was a bullet we wouldn't be having this discussion."

"It's your damn job to make sure nothing happens to me like that, read your damn contract again."

"It's _your_ job to protect _me_. Don't get things backwards."

"You like it backwards," Leon grumbled and Cloud's face turned a bright red before his leg shifted around and his boot collided with the Carrier's shin. Leon grunted before he laughed. "Don't get pissy now."

"If I like it so much how come you insisted we take turns?" the blonde said snidely and Leon glared at him. At this point, all other conversation ceased at the table and all eyes were on the pair at the end. Roxas' cheeks were a little pink because of the topic and Sora's eyes were wide. Everyone else looked overly amused.

"Because _dear_ you wouldn't be able to sit if it we didn't. I'm _protecting_ the integrity of your colon and doing you a favor," Leon growled from between clenched teeth.

"Oh so I _now_ you're taking your job seriously? I'm pretty sure you were insisting, not offering."

"Stop."

"But why? We're having so much fun together."

"I'm going to kill you Cloud, I swear to god."

"But then, who would fu—" he was cut off by Leon grabbing onto his shirt and pulling him forward over the table with a hand pressed over his mouth. Axel started to laugh along with Demyx. The Carrier involved was glaring daggers at his Charge but Cloud's eyes were full of mirth as he grinned behind Leon's hand.

"Are you done?" Leon asked with his voice dripping in anger. Cloud shrugged. They stayed frozen in that position and had a brief staring contest before Leon sighed and released him, sitting back. The Charge looked overly pleased with himself and resumed eating like nothing had happened. Leon, on the other hand, ignored his plate and continued to give Cloud the evil eye.

"You guys are the best," Demyx said and gave them a grin. Axel snorted. Sora looked to Roxas and they exchanged a confused expression.

"Anyway…" Riku interjected and cleared his throat, "conferences are not all that fun for the Carriers involved. As Leon said, it's almost set up like a circus or an attraction at a zoo. They're a little degrading because we're being stared at but it helps the funding. The kind of atmosphere that is given depends on who's running it. Ansem tends to keep his very civil and the most humane while some others make it more of a show than necessary."

"Who's running it this time around?" Roxas asked and poked at his food, not really hungry anymore because of Leon and Cloud's little quarrel.

"Xemnas."

"Who?"

"I don't know his role exactly but I heard he isn't the greatest guy around," Riku said.

"He treats us like garbage but he's an amazing scientist," Axel said.

"I just don't want to be shocked again," Demyx huffed sadly.

"Shocked?" Sora asked.

"Yeah, the last one was run by Saïx and he walked around with a cattle prod and poked us if we got too close to the people even if it wasn't our fault. That little girl was so cute and all she wanted to do was touch my tail…" he trailed. "I wasn't going to hurt her." Demyx sighed and Zexion patted him on the back.

"A cattle prod? That's awful," Sora said and furrowed his brows together, Roxas made a similar face.

"We don't have very many rights. We're treated like objects by some, and feral beasts by others. No one considers us people," Axel said grumpily and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at his plate.

"You guys can't do anything to stop it?" Roxas asked and everyone at the table aside from his brother shook their heads.

"We don't have a choice. They'll come and take us by force if they have to and force us to change for the crowd. Ansem's are easier to stomach because he lets us do it how we like, so he tends to be the lesser of the evils so to speak," Axel said.

"How do they force you to change?" Roxas asked. The table grew silent.

"Our change codes can be activated by remote control if they need to be. Part of being a Technician is having control of the things you create," Leon said. "If they're going to force it, we don't have a chance to adjust and it's almost explosive in how quickly it happens so it's incredibly painful."

"Oh my god…" Sora said sadly. "I don't want to go anymore."

"Neither do we," Riku said. "It may not be so bad if the general public isn't allowed in. But they sometimes sell tickets for after the initial proceedings and negotiations for money. It's all profit after that point so it's always tempting. Ansem doesn't do that though. He's good enough to where he can get all that he needs in from sponsors and private investors versus relying on a side show and the public."

"At least there's that much," Roxas said. "How often are these things held?"

"It depends on how much money they generate but usually it's about every five years or so," Axel said.

"Oh…I'm not looking forward to it," Roxas said.

"Me either," the redhead added.

* * *

The next morning everyone was up early and bustling around to get ready. Roxas had never had to wear a uniform before and was having a little bit of a problem figuring out how some of the snaps work on the jacket. Regardless of his difficulties, he still thought it looked rather nice. It reminded him of a marching band uniform more than anything else, with a tight square fitted jacket that ended just below the belt line of his fitted slacks. The sleeves were a little too wide for his tastes, having a distinct bell shape towards the ends, but overall it wasn't too bad. It was a nice combination of a navy blue for the majority of the color with white accents at the ends of the sleeves and on the chest of the jacket. There was an intricate stitching pattern on the back of his jacket that was in the shape of a generic cat face with wide slanted eyes, showing which facility he was from. He wore a white band on one arm that had _Panthera Tigris – Dome 813_ monogrammed into the fabric, showing who he belonged to and which dome their facility was in.

He patted his pockets to make sure he had his earpiece and extra lengths of chord before going to the door to pull on his shiny new dress shoes. There was a knock on the door. He hopped on one foot over to it and opened it before trying to put his shoe on properly. Axel came in, dressed just as Roxas as but the blonde did a double take at his appearance. The redhead wasn't a redhead anymore. All of the color had been washed from his hair and eyes, giving him an unearthly look. His tattoos were gone as well.

"What the hell happened to you?" Roxas asked and tried to focus on trying his laces.

"We all have to go like this and be as obvious and inhuman as possible," Axel said grumpily.

"That's stupid. Why does it matter?"

"It doesn't, which is why it's stupid."

"Well okay then. Should I take my tablet or anything?"

"You can if you want to start working on checking me out like we did before with my Implant. Are you going to be okay seeing me for the first time though? There's sure to be a crowd."

"I'll be fine. I've been trying to picture it for a few weeks now and I think I can get the general idea," the blonde said and looked around his room before finding his tablet and stylus. He stuck the pen in his pocket. He checked to make sure he had his watch and keys before he deemed he was set to go. "Ready?" he asked and Axel shrugged.

"As I'll ever be, I suppose." They set out into the hallway and met up with Demyx and Zexion halfway to the entrance. Roxas stared at the once sandy blonde for a long minute trying to get over how white and lifeless his hair was. Demyx kept his eyes to the floor and sighed sadly as they trudged along. Nobody really said much except the initial greetings and the morale, Roxas could tell, was incredibly low.

Out front, there was what looked to be a bus. It was an elongated vehicle with several different entrances and a large air tank attached to the back of it that pointed upward. Roxas had never seen such a thing before. He could tell it was supposed to be white, but it seemed to have an iridescent sheen to it that never really gave it one solid color. It had several sets of wheels and hardly any windows except in the front where Yuffie was standing off to the side. She waved to the small group as they came out and joined some others.

"Hey guys!" she said happily. Axel, Demyx and Zexion waved at her but Roxas was too surprised to see her to react.

"Why are you here?" Roxas asked curiously.

"I'm driving!" she said with a grin. "I get called to do some odd jobs around here every now and again. I don't mind it, it's an extra little bit in the paycheck you know?"

"I suppose, I was just a little surprised."

"I told you a lot of the people in the city were familiar with the facilities," Axel said and Yuffie nodded in agreement.

"I see what you mean now," Roxas agreed. "So we're going outside the dome?"

"Yeah, this car… thing is supposed to have a special coating on it that deflects the radiation so hopefully we don't grow any extra toes along the way," Yuffie said.

"Oh, well how are you supposed to see behind you? There aren't any windows in the back."

"Well it doesn't really matter because there's like zilch traffic. Besides, you don't want to see outside. It's a desert for the most part with some lumps in the distance where you can see other domes."

"That's a little depressing."

"Which is why no one goes outside, yeah?" she said with a smile.

"Roxas!" Sora called and the blonde turned to see his brother running to him from the entrance. The brunette was bringing his tablet as well. "All set?" he asked. Riku caught up quickly and he didn't look very different except his eyes being void of color. The silvery shine was gone from his hair and it hung flat and lifeless over his shoulders much like Axel's was doing. Roxas could see Leon and Cloud as well as Tifa and Zack coming out and the appearances of all the Carriers were absolutely disheartening. The blonde sighed and nodded some to his brother.

"Yeah, I'm all set," he said sadly. Sora patted his shoulder.

"It's only for a day. We'll be okay," he said and Roxas shrugged.

"It's not us I'm concerned about. It's them."

"We'll be fine," Riku said.

The car ride was a little unsettling. Not only was everyone silent but the uneven terrain outside the facility shook everyone around and gave Roxas a bit of a stomach ache by the time it was over. The ride through the city was smooth though but then they had to stop for over an hour at the gate that lead out of the dome. There were only two windows in the back of the vehicle that were hardly any bigger than a soccer ball and just as round. Sora had one, and Roxas had the other since they were the only ones that didn't know what the world looked like outside. It was completely abysmal. The blonde's heart sunk at the small view he could see through the gate and could only imagine it getting worse as they got outside fully.

The canister on the back of the car, Roxas found out, was for fresh air ventilation since they couldn't use the fans outside. When they were set to go, there was a loud clicking sound as the doors sealed completely. Yuffie pulled them into the world carefully and the terrain became bumpy again as she followed a semi-planned dirt path in a straight line. They were heading to the next dome over, number eight fourteen. Roxas laid his cheek on the metal ring that was the windowsill and sighed unhappily at the terrible scenery.

Everything was brown and lifeless. He could see dozens of domes in the distance through all the dirt but he focused mainly at the charred remnants of trees and rocks that littered the ground. He was surprised to see some airplanes though and a few other cars occasionally. Some of the domes even had a branch off to the side with a smaller dome attached where Roxas could see an airplane take off out of. The ingenuity of the people there was astonishing and they were making do with what they had. What they had was a lot of glass and metal, which was what most everything was made of, regardless of what it was. As the long ride progressed, Roxas could see gatherings of the crystalline rock formations jutting from the ground as they grew closer to the next dome.

"So okay, what's with the rocks here?" the blonde asked and Axel's eyes slid open from his nap.

"Hm? What about them?" the not-redhead asked and yawned a little.

"Like the weird cliffs and stuff. They're all made from the same kind of rock."

"Well most of those are ground down and used to make glass, but they came from the explosions from the nukes. Depending on where you are in the world and what the sediment was like there, you get different colors. The explosions were so powerful they superheated the dirt and rocks to make the ground turn to liquid essentially and then the radiation cooked them to look like that. That's what I was told anyway, but I don't know for sure, I wasn't there."

"Huh…don't they give off radiation then? Wouldn't half the city be poisoned by now?"

"They don't for some reason. I'm not sure why. Maybe they formed quick enough to avoid absorbing it all, but so long as no one gets sick, why question it?"

"I suppose."

"You get way too detail oriented sometimes."

"Sorry?"

"It's fine. It's a good thing," Axel said and stretched his limbs forward, slouching in his seat until he could lay his head against the back of it. Roxas looked him over as his eyes slid closed again for another nap. Despite his peaceful posture, the blonde could tell Axel was stressed. His shoulders were tight, he had a constant light furrowing of his brows and he hadn't smiled all day. He wasn't happy today and the blonde hoped he wouldn't do anything irrational at the conference if things got hairy. Demyx took the opportunity to shove himself onto Axel's stomach to use his friend as a pillow and the not-redhead lifted his arm for him like it was a normal thing to do. The blonde's attention was drawn away from them when Sora heaved a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong?" Riku asked and the brunette sat back in his seat with a droopy face.

"Just a little homesick. I miss the trees."

"Ah. I miss it too, I liked it there," Riku added.

"Really?" Sora asked and the Carrier nodded.

"It's way more beautiful than this shit hole."

"Well not the entire thing is a shit hole, just out here."

"Which is the part that matters," Riku said and gave him a wry smirk. Sora shrugged.

"If you say so."

"Heads up!" Yuffie called from the front a few seconds before the vehicle ran over something rather large and the entire cabin was tossed around. Everyone let out a simultaneous 'whoa' at the tremor before it settled again. "Sorry, didn't notice it until it right in front of me. Everything looks the same out here," she apologized before she let out an embarrassed laugh. Everyone resettled and the ride continued for another couple of hours. The tension in the air tripled in viscosity when they arrived at the gate of their destination. Roxas and Sora were at the windows again in an instant to see the new city.

"Well that was anticlimactic," the blonde said as the scenery barely changed from their own city. The buildings were still bland and cubes and there was still a significant lack of plant life. The biggest difference was that in the middle of this particular city there was another dome. It was the roof of the convention center they were headed to. The blonde could see a large gate that lead out into a separate airport dome as well.

"The cities don't really change much unless you get _way_ out there," Axel said. "Some of the richer cities can afford more plants and some paint but the general idea is pretty uniform regardless of where you go."

* * *

It took several hours to get everyone checked in. The show area was located in the back of the convention center behind the auditorium where the scientists were pleading for more money by using big and important sounding words to confuse the peons and convince them this was a worthwhile investment. The Carriers had been shuffled off to a separate area while the Charges milled about in the show room proper.

"So do you think it'll be as bad as they say it is?" Sora asked and Roxas shrugged. He looked around the room at the dozens of fenced off areas and platforms where the Carriers would be displayed. The largest one in the middle was of course, for Axel. The blonde didn't like the place. It reminded him too much of an unadorned zoo. At least in a regular zoo the animals had a quasi habitat to roam around in, this one was simply a bunch of mesh around a platform and lights surrounded in a sea of concrete.

"It's not looking too good so far," Roxas responded. "I hope nothing happens."

"It's illegal to kill them if it makes you feel any better," Zack said.

"Just to kill them? What about abuse and all the other stuff that can happen?" Roxas asked, horrified that he had left out that detail. His fears were not sated by the man's reaction either, because he simply shrugged and didn't say anything else. The air between everyone was very dark and melancholic. There were a lot of other Charges standing around most of which Roxas had never seen before..

"Did anyone happen to notice if they're selling tickets?" Zexion asked.

"I'll go check," Cloud offered and started back towards the entrance. Sora shuffled his foot a little, watching the floor.

"Worried?" Roxas asked and the brunette nodded.

"Riku was trying to tell me about the few conventions he had been to before with one of his other Charges. They didn't sound very fun and I asked him to stop before I got really upset," he said sadly.

"Riku was always a favorite because of his looks, he tended to get a lot of additional attention," Zexion said. "This time around though, it looks like Axel is going to be the star."

" _Yippie_ ," Roxas spat grumpily. Zexion shrugged.

"I just hope he can handle it. He's never been the most level headed around giant crowds. But unfortunately, he's so new and unique he doesn't have much choice."

"How long are we supposed to let people stay in here and look at everything?" the blonde asked.

"Until the money runs out," Zack said. "The Carriers can stay in their Primal forms for up to two days without any major problems but I doubt they'll have to stay that long."

"Two days?" Sora gaped.

"We'll be out of here late tonight most likely," Zack added. Cloud returned with a scowl.

"They're selling tickets," he said unhappily and Zack groaned, rubbing his brows.

"I just hope Tifa can change quickly," he said.

"Why do you say that?" Roxas asked.

"Well if you haven't noticed, she's very… curvaceous. She gets just as much attention with her Implant form as she does her Primal form and none of it is all that flattering to her."

"Oh…"

"Axel is going to have the same problem," Zexion said. Roxas quirked a brow at him, prompting an explanation. "He's…well endowed. We can only hope people are mature about it."

"O-oh," the blonde stuttered and his cheeks turned a bit pink. Sora couldn't help but giggle a little at his brother's reaction.

"I'm actually rather glad not much stands out about Demyx. Without his weird hair style, he's actually fairly normal outside of having a bright personality," Zexion said. Cloud nodded.

"Aside from his scar, Leon comes off as a boring grumpy old man so I have no concerns," the taller blonde said and Zack snorted.

"You're so nice," he said.

"Just telling the truth."

"And you wonder why he gets so angry with you all the time."

"You don't know him like I do. He's totally different when we're away from others. I'm not even implying anything inappropriate, it's just the truth."

"Huh… get camera and tape it, then I'll believe you," Zack teased and Cloud smirked.

"I'll have to charge you though."

"Oh yeah? He's _that_ different?"

"Completely."

"Five hundred credits."

"Make it eight."

"Six."

"Seven fifty."

"I'll meet you at seven."

"Deal," Cloud said and they shook on it.

"What just happened?" Roxas asked and Zack laughed.

"Don't worry about it, if Cloud goes through with it and it's something worthwhile, I'll share," he said and gave the shorter blonde a wink.

"Poor Leon," Zexion said.

"A hundred and forty years is a long time to get bored with someone. Got to keep the spark alive, you know?" Cloud said.

"I keep forgetting people live that long here, everyone looks so young," Sora said and rubbed his neck.

"You get used to it after a while. Give it a decade or so and you won't even register ages anymore," Zexion said.

"You say a decade like it's a short amount of time," Roxas said and the slate-haired Charge nodded.

"Because it is," he said. There was a light bit of commotion as a few Carriers were allowed to filter back in. Zack scoffed.

"Oh you've gotta be kidding me," he said. "Look at what they have the girls wearing; they may as well be prostitutes." Roxas searched the trickle of bodies for any females and he picked up on one. He almost snorted at her paltry attire but stopped himself. She wasn't as generously proportioned as Tifa but the blonde could only imagine the skin tight boy shorts and skimpy string top would not help hide Tifa's features in the least. The men were wearing even less and even from a distance, Roxas could tell that _nothing_ was left to the imagination.

"Are the guys wearing Speedos?" Sora asked as he squinted at them.

"Why did they even bother having them wear their uniforms?" Cloud asked to no one in particular.

"Fuck this," Zack said and started to undo his jacket. He jogged towards the line of Carriers and Roxas could see him find Tifa and drape the jacket over her shoulders. She gladly accepted it and they made their way towards her platform. The remaining four stayed where they were and waited for their respective Carriers. Cloud sighed.

"This is going to really suck," he said and Zexion nodded in agreement.

"Oh god," Roxas said and covered his eyes as Axel came into view.

"Holy shit," Sora said. There was a brief silence between all of them before Cloud spoke again.

"Do you want my pants?" he asked with an entirely serious tone.

"I'm tempted, honestly," Leon said with an irritated voice.

"I'm so cold," Demyx shivered and hugged himself. Zexion went about removing his jacket for him. Roxas peeked in between his fingers and could see that all four of the Carriers we wearing skin tight black Speedo-esque bottoms and nothing else. Nobody seemed particularly shy about it aside from being angry with the circumstances surrounding the lack of clothing. Leon stood off to the side next to Cloud with his arms crossed and looking grumpy. Demyx huddled under Zexion's coat and Riku stood behind and off to the side of Sora, so the brunette could keep his eyes away and focus a little. Axel had already gone to his platform and plopped himself in the middle of it on his stomach, shielding himself with the floor, much to Roxas' relief. The blonde bid his farewells to the others and they went their separate ways.

"Uh… hi," he said nervously when he approached. Axel looked over his shoulder at him. He had his legs crossed and his arms folded under his chin.

"Hello."

"Cold?"

"Not really."

"Oh, alright," the blonde said and took a seat on the floor next to him. "Did they give you any idea how long we had to wait?"

"Not really. Xemnas is apparently going to do an announcement of when he wants me to change so I'm assuming he'll wait until the crowd gets big enough."

"Where do you want me?"

"Just off to the side somewhere. It doesn't really matter; I would just stay back a few feet so you don't get anything on you."

"On me?"

"My skin has to go somewhere, Roxas."

"…Oh," the blonde's stomach twisted a little at the proposition. "Cloud says they're selling tickets."

"Yeah, I heard."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"So long as they aren't selling food anywhere, I'll be fine."

"Why would that matter?"

"It gives them something to throw, weren't you paying attention to Leon's orange story?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry… I'm a little distracted."

"By me or by this place?"

"A little of both I think."

"Oh. Well it's just for today. Hopefully we can forget it all by tomorrow."

"Yeah. I'd like to. Nothing's happened yet and I'm ready to go back already."

"Me too," Axel added and sighed.

"This may be a little gross but are you supposed to spend the entire time standing around in pieces of your skin after it comes off?"

"I guess. Normally I change outside and it dissolves pretty quickly, I've never done it indoors before."

"That's disgusting. We should ask for a broom or something."

"I doubt they'd give us one. It's not really as bad as you think, it dries fairly quickly and it can be pushed around like a crumpled up piece of paper if we need to."

"That doesn't really make it better," the blonde said and tried not to think of the details surrounding that visual but failed miserably. Little pieces of Axel jerky all over the floor did not an appealing picture make and his stomach turned into a hard lump because of it.

Roxas tried to entertain himself with poking at his tablet and fiddling with his watch but after another forty-five minute wait, he was growing restless. He tried to count the number of platforms he could see but after a while, he decided he couldn't see enough of them to get an accurate statistic. There were a lot of faces he didn't recognize but he knew that each Carrier there was a different Totem. A few of the women didn't seem bothered by the lack of clothing but most of the others had taken their Charge's jackets and huddled with them on the floor. The blonde had noticed that the bottoms that all the Carriers were wearing had small snaps on the sides that could break away when they changed so they didn't have to worry about the clothing being torn apart and destroyed. It was a bittersweet blessing in some ways. It would save the uniform and make the transition easier for the Carriers but it also humiliated them and made them even more of a spectacle with the slight coverage.

"Look alive everyone!" a deep thundering voice said from nowhere. Everybody startled and some let out a light yelp of surprise at the sudden noise. Roxas looked up and could see a speaker system in the ceiling between the metal rafters that he hadn't cared to notice before. Additionally, there were signs that labeled the type of Carrier hanging from the ceiling above the platforms he hadn't noticed either. Axel's sign said _Panthera Tigris_. The Carriers that were covered quickly gave the jackets back to their Charges and everyone got themselves together. "We're opening the doors in five," the voice confirmed and there was light chatter amongst everyone.

"Ready?" Axel asked from his position on the floor. He hadn't moved while everyone else seemed to want to stand and pace around. Roxas stayed sitting with him.

"Not really, but I don't have a choice do I?"

"Well we can stay like this for as long as we can, but once the crowd gathers, we should probably stand up and not look like we totally hate it here."

"Would anyone care if we did look like we hate it here? Would it change anything?"

"Nothing at all. But we were told to at least look awake for it otherwise there would be consequences."

"Consequences?"

"Xemnas has a whip."

"What? No!" Roxas said, horrified. "What the hell is wrong with these people?"

"It's business," Axel said flatly.

"How can you be so calm about this?"

"I don't have a choice, Roxas. If I don't do what they say, they'll force me to change and _then_ whip me until I get up. It's the lesser of two evils to just do what the hell he says to do. He didn't really give us any guidelines like we need to put on a show and do tricks or whatever but we're supposed to let the people touch us if they want, and interact with our Charges."

"What if the people get abusive?"

"That's not Xemnas' concern."

"Damn it… this fucking blows," Roxas spat and glared at the floor. "Not just for us either but for everyone else too. Are there any other Carriers here aside from predatory ones?"

"That's a good question. I know we're all fairly large. They didn't have any of the rodents or the birds or those kinds here otherwise people would try and pick them up and probably crush them."

"Good. At least there's that."

"Reno is here somewhere, his Totem is the Plains Bison."

"Wow. Giant hairy cow."

"Giant _tasty_ hairy cow."

"Yuck, Axel."

"Sorry."

"That'd be terrible to have the Totem of a prey animal like that. Like… you raise these kids just to be eaten by other Carrier's kids."

"Well the prey animals tend to repopulate very quickly so they get distanced from their original Carrier easily. Then they get released into the ecosystems more quickly and then nature takes over from there so no one really registers it's happening even when it does. None of the Carriers eat each other though so it's not really anything personal."

"I suppose that's a little better. I can see where there would be an ethics problem if you decided Demyx would make a good cheeseburger."

"Yeah. Not that I want to or anything, cheese is disgusting," Axel said and Roxas laughed a little.

The doors on the far end of the show room opened and the common folk started to trickle in. The first few were obviously investors that had come down from the conference to see what they were throwing their money at. Roxas could tell the expensive clothing from the not so expensive clothing and a lot of the first comers were that of the former. The women were mostly drawn away from their husbands to gawk at the scantly clad men. Likewise, the husbands were happy to rid themselves of their wives so they could stare at the women. Riku was an instant attraction with the ladies, even without the shocking color of his eyes and turned on the charm when they began to talk to him. Sora stood off to the side, mostly ignored but was ogling Riku just as much. Roxas refused to be ignored and he stayed right by Axel's side (if a little back so he couldn't see so much of him). As the first bits of the crowd started to form around their platform, the not-redhead pulled himself across the floor to sit on the edge to hold trifling conversations with whoever wanted to say hello.

"You're the newest?" a stately looking woman with too many shining rocks hanging from her face asked.

"Yes ma'am," Axel said politely and gave her a smile.

"You're not very impressive," she said.

"I'm sorry. I'm also sitting."

"Well then stand up, come on now. I'm paying good money for this," she ordered and waved a hand at him from over the mesh half-wall. Roxas tried his best to not give her an obvious glare. Axel nodded and kept his smile in place as he pushed himself up and stood. The blonde tried to focus on a point in the distance and was determined to not focus on Axel's promiscuity. The not-redhead however, was determined to make the woman fidget. He hopped off the platform and cleared the short distance between it and the barrier. As he drew closer the woman blushed a little and looked him over intently. He gave her a deep throaty chuckle as he reached forward and gently pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear for her. Roxas forced himself to take a seat on the edge of platform and put his tablet over his lap in order to hide any sort of reaction he may have. He wasn't there yet because he was still apprehensive, but Axel wasn't helping things.

"Is this better?" Axel asked the woman and she drew her eyes off of his body in order to look into his colorless eyes. She nodded silently and cleared her throat a little.

"Yes, thank you. I'll be here to make sure your other… self is just as nice," she said with an upturned nose.

"I hope I don't disappoint."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

_Ladies and gentlemen I would like for you to direct your attention to the center platform to see the fruits of your hard earned Credits and insurmountable generosity!_

_After searching and piecing together three hundred and forty-three years worth of long lost natural evidence we have been able to create a Carrier that carries the great cat,_ Panthera Tigris _!_

_Model 4x31 you may begin._

All eyes were on Axel and he took a moment to look around at the sea of faces that surrounded his platform. From where he was standing he could see everything. Every eye, every bead of sweat, ever raised skeptical eyebrow, every horrified look, every scowl, and every hateful gesture the general public had to give him. He took a breath and tried to settle his nerves a little before casting a wary glance to Roxas, who didn't look very happy to be there either. The blonde had vacated the platform and was between it and the mesh half-wall, watching intently but with an underlying hint of sympathy. Axel took another breath before reaching up to his ear and depressing the back of the earring into the silver ball. There was a soft ' _click_ ' in his ear and he waited. Roxas was nervous. Nervous not only for Axel, but for the reactions he was sure to incite. His watch beeped, shattering the silence in the show room with a shrill echo and he didn't even need to look at it to know what it said.

_Change code initiated._

Axel's breath hitched as he could feel his ribcage expand. The beginning stages of his change were always the most uncomfortable because his torso had to elongate and engorge itself before he could move onto other matters, such as his limbs. He clutched his torso and staggered forward as he could feel his innards bubble and swell under his pulsating skin. He panted and fell to all fours as his hair started to flicker through the orange and gold prism. It settled for an illustrious copper tone before he could feel the tickling as the follicles started to spread and spring through his skin. The skin on his chest rippled further until his protruding ribcage pushed through, exposing itself with a coating of gelatinous lubricant over his forming pelt.

There were gasps of horror from the audience and a few gags. Axel heard them clearly, and closed his eyes tight to wait it out. There was no going back once the process started and he wished he could suck it all back in and yell out a jovial 'just kidding,' and garner a laugh in return. Instead, there were low murmurs amongst the people as his bones started to bow and crack to accommodate the sudden weight and expansion. He could feel his spine jolt and start to pull apart as his body became longer, splitting his skin and exposing more of his Primal coat. Luckily, his thighs started to expand at the same time as his tail started to pull itself to life and he was able to keep himself relatively concealed as the snaps of his skimpy garment broke and it fell away.

The entire process was far from beautiful. It was horrific in a lot of ways as one could see the swelling and rippling of body parts, the tearing of flesh, and hear the cracking and fracturing of bones as they shifted around. Axel's shoulders started to quake as his arms got heavier, thicker, and his fingers started to recede. His palms expanded and the soft pads of his forming paws pushed through the skin. He could feel the same thing happening with his legs as his hips shifted and expanded, ripping away the last bit of skin away from his lower half. The exposed parts of his pelt glistened as its coloration shifted to show his burgeoning stripes.

The worst part, in Axel's opinion, was his face. He hated the way he could feel his skull push outward and shift his teeth around. He let out a low guttural snarl as that part of the process began and the people's reactions were less than favorable. Several of them that were directly in front of him backed away as if they had been stabbed and a bevy of conversation and exclaims could be heard. His ears shifted up towards the top of his head while his nose followed his protruding snout. His cheeks drooped to cover his teeth and his chin extended outward. Soon his face was tingling with the appearance of fine hairs and there was a light stinging as his whiskers pushed out of his pores. The last little pieces of his skin fell away from his face and he could finally open his eyes again as the last little bits shifted into place.

Roxas was speechless. The entire process had lasted a little less than fifteen minutes but it had felt like an entire lifetime to him. His mind tried to process what he had just seen but he couldn't make any sense of it. The crowd was, for the most part, silent and completely dumbfounded. Axel shook himself from the tip of his little pink nose, all the way down to the tip of his tail and excess gelatinous material and skin flung in all directions but never got very far. There was one last pulsating glitter over his pelt before all the variations in color were cemented into place, just as Roxas could remember from his dreams.

In order to ignore the crowd, Axel busied himself using a wide foot to push the pieces of himself across the platform and onto the floor so if anyone want to come up and say hello, they didn't have to walk on it. It was all quick to dry and the process became easier as the minutes passed. On one side of the platform, there was a small set of stairs in front of the gate for the barrier. After there was an adequate enough of space cleared away, Axel took a seat at the top of the small staircase. He looked at Roxas, who was ghostly white and he heaved a mental sigh before laying himself on the platform, waiting for the blonde to gather his control.

An arm snaked through the crowd and shoved Roxas' shoulder, snapping him back into reality. He looked behind him to see Cloud waving a hand at him, urging him to get back up on the platform. The blonde took a moment to gather his thoughts before quietly making his way to the staircase. In reaction to his movement, the activity in the crowd picked up and the murmurs turned into full fledged banter. Some of the people cleared away to go watch other Carriers change but a line started to form without any prompting by the small gate as well.

"Hang on everyone," Roxas said to the first few people in line and he patted his pockets for his earpiece before making his way to Axel. The cat looked depressed. Absolutely mortified. He opened his mouth willingly for the blonde though, garnering a few gasps as Roxas stuck his hand in his mouth to plug the earpiece into his Link. Once he sat and settled the device on his ear, he tried to give Axel a smile.

" _Told you they'd be scared of me_ ," Axel said.

"Yeah well, they've never seen a tiger before. Personally, I think that was really fascinating and…I have no idea. I don't have any words to describe it."

" _Disgusting. Inhuman. Dare I say, satanic? Half these people are probably God fearing Christians. I have to be some sort of abomination to them. I don't want them to come up here._ "

"Yeah, I don't want that either," Roxas said. He was trying to keep his end of the conversation relatively neutral because he had to vocalize it. There were a few squeals from across the show room and the pair's attention was drawn to another platform where Tifa was writing around on the ground on her side as her legs popped and shifted. Zack was kneeling next to her and trying to get her upright.

" _She must have fallen to the side instead of on all fours._ "

"That matters?"

" _When you have to end up that way anyway, it helps._ "

"Is there a problem 4x31?" the deep thundering voice asked and their attention was brought back to the gate where a man with long glittering gray hair stood. "Why are you not greeting your public?" he asked with a calm voice. His amber eyes betrayed his calm sincerity with a glint of anger and annoyance at the delay. Grasped between his palm and the door of the gate was a sinister looking whip and Roxas' blood ran cold.

" _Just open it for him_ ," Axel urged and Roxas took off the earpiece and set it on his paw before taking the few steps down and reaching to pull the gate open. The man, Xemnas, smiled at Roxas.

"Oh, why thank you," he said and the blonde nodded weakly before pushing himself back up the stairs to sit with the cat. He replaced the earpiece on his ear and Xemnas ushered the first patrons in. Roxas moved out of the way as a father and his young son came forward and the boy immediately went to pull on one of Axel's ears. Through the earpiece, there was a grunt but the cat didn't react outwardly.

After the first few people exited from the enclosure, Xemnas left to go observe the other Carriers. The blonde ended up sitting off to the side with his earpiece listening to every angry curse word Axel said while watching his Primal form act entirely casual with the process. Children were a constant with almost everyone who came through. They would poke and prod at the cat, especially in the face, and pull on his fur and occasionally go after his tail. The parents of such demons had little sympathy for Axel and let the kids run amok on the platform for as long as they cared to. Once there was a lull in the activity, Roxas was able to lay his hands on the cat himself.

" _I hate children_ ," Axel said and leaned into the blonde's scratching behind his ear.

"Yeah they're not exactly my favorite either," he agreed.

" _I also hate women who wear too much perfume; did you get a whiff of some of those heifers? My nose is on fire_."

"I don't think I should say anything," Roxas said with a laugh. He was much calmer now that everything had quieted some and settled for re-exploring Axel's face in order to pass the idle time. The cat closed his eyes and reveled in the gentle attention. Suddenly there was a wet ' _thunk_ ' as something collided into Axel's side and the cat let out a snarl, jumping up quickly and backing away. Roxas startled as the earpiece was pulled from his face and clattered across the platform as it was dragged away. There was a small gathering of onlookers who were incredibly angry, armed with bags of rotting produce. There was a squashed piece of melon on the platform and seeds were dripping off of Axel's side.

"Fucking demented science experiments!" a man called before heaving another chunk at them. "You disgust us. Go back to where you came from and die already!" he cried.

"God killed your kind for a reason!" a woman added to the banter and heaved a tomato at the cat. Axel backed away quickly and avoided it. Roxas was on his feet in an instant and apparently that was enough to make the people angrier because a molded head of lettuce connected with his chest and he grunted.

"What the fuck is wrong with you people?" he cried. "If you don't like it, fine! Leave!"

"Shut up disgusting faggot!" someone yelled and the blonde startled. "That's right, don't think we don't know what you sick fucks do in your disgusting laboratories! Bestiality! Heretics! Wretched sinners!" they yelled. Roxas could feel a weight on his arm as Axel hooked a claw into his sleeve and tried to pull him back. The blonde stumbled along with him. There was commotion from all directions as more people gathered to watch the beginning chaos. The naysayers pushed through the gate and climbed over the half-wall, tossing their foodstuffs at the pair. Roxas brought his arms up to his face just in time to be hit with an apple on his forearms. Axel growled and whipped around in all directions as he was pelted with food. When the people pushed too close, he took a swipe outward and knocked one of them over but without bloodshed.

The blonde tried to yell at them and make them stop but the onslaught continued as the mob drew closer and closer inward, trapping them both in the center of the platform. Angry chants of the religious and conservative variety echoed through the show room as they bore down on them, mashing every bit of their squishy arsenal into whatever part they could get at. Roxas' watch started to beep loudly and his attention was diverted for a moment, his back to Axel, as he huddled and tried to read what it said through the mayhem.

_Elevated stress level pushing instinct threshold to limits_

Roxas didn't know what that meant. He did know, however, that if it involved instinct and a tiger, it couldn't be good. He turned around and could see Axel's ears flat back against his head and a ferocious snarl pulling his lips high up on his snout as he bore all of his teeth at the crowd. His posture was tense and his backside was high in a stance that screamed 'I'm going to fucking kill you.' The blonde's mind reeled and he couldn't think of anything to do. The people continued to chant as most of them had run out of things to throw but there was no sign of any relenting as they held their ground. Roxas knew Axel couldn't attack them without serious consequences and he took a step forward before wrapping his arms around the tiger's neck from the side in a desperate attempt to squeeze some sense back into him.

Axel snapped. Whatever was touching him needed to leave and it needed to leave _now_. He whirled on the touch and flung whatever it was to the side easily before chasing in it's general direction a few feet and bringing a foot down on the offender's face. There were horrified screams as the people dissipated quickly, running in all directions away from the attack. There was a pained yell from under his paw but it wasn't enough to snap him back. He inhaled deeply before letting out a loud raspy snarl into his prey's chest. He had whatever it was trapped and it would be so easy to just rip it to shreds if it would mean the stress would go away. That the people would stop hating him. That he could stop and be normal again.

A whip cracked and connected with Axel's back, splitting the skin open on contact. He let out a pained hiss and the fog in his mind cleared a little with the new sensation. He got a brief whiff of a familiar smell and he could concentrate on what he was doing a little better. Before he could fully register what was happening though, the whip came down on him again and opened another new gash in his back. He snarled again and backed away. He stumbled and stepped on the earpiece, snapping the chord in a fraction of a second. The sudden jolt of pain in his tooth helped him think a little more and he brought up a paw to run over his snout to clear the feeling. There were several more cracks against his skin and he flinched several more times, letting out hisses and growls along the way until he was reduced to a huddled, fearful lump on the platform edge.

"Roxas!" Sora yelled and half ran, half fell up the staircase. He slid across the platform to his brother's side.

"Don't move him," Xemnas ordered and the brunette hesitated, looking at the man with wide eyes. The blonde was unconscious and laying in a crumpled heap on the platform.

 _Roxas_? Axel thought to himself. His paws were over his face and he tentatively moved one out of the way to take in the form across from him. Sora's eyes were overflowing with tears and the blonde's nose dripped a steady trickle of blood onto the floor. _Oh shit_ , the cat confirmed with himself. Xemnas stepped to him and knelt low to look into his eyes.

"You're lucky you're the only one of your kind otherwise you'd be dead by now," the man spat and stood again before stomping away and off of the platform. It took a moment to register what he had said before the cat could think again. He concentrated on the Signet in order to assess the damage he had caused. There were no obvious signs of internal bleeding, no broken bones, no brain swelling, and breathing was a little erratic but deep enough. He was stable. Unconscious, but stable. Axel tried to push himself up and staggered as his back screamed in protest. Sora startled at the movement and looked at him with fearful eyes.

"Stay back!" the brunette yelled at him and Axel flinched inwardly. Zexion rounded the platform and clattered up the stairs quickly. He stopped in front of Axel and gave him an incredulous face. He held up an earpiece and the tiger opened his jaws for him. Zexion reached inside and removed the broken piece in favor of the new one. He was suddenly bombarded by a barrage of Axel's voice.

" _I didn't mean to! I swear! I don't know what happened! There were so many people and so much yelling and then there was something on me and I couldn't stop myself!_ " he pleaded and Zexion laid a hand on his snout.

"Calm down, we know. Xemnas doesn't get it, but we understand. Sora probably doesn't get it either, but we'll explain. What does your Signet tell you?"

" _He's stable…_ "

"Good. The medics should be here soon. You need to change back so we can take care of your skin," he said calmly.

* * *

Consciousness tickled the edges of Roxas' psyche. It wasn't the only thing that tickled, either. There was a sandpapery tongue running over the hairs on the back of his head and someone's whiskers were brushing against the shell of his ear in the process. He lay still, trying to remember what he was doing. The gentle movement of the oversized tongue helped steady his thoughts and let him know he wasn't dying completely. As the recognition grew and he was able to understand that he was on the floor with a giant paw over his waist, he tried to pry his eyes open. His vision was blurry and he could hear the ocean ringing through his head even though he knew he was nowhere near it. He could feel his eyes open though, even if all he could see was a small sliver of what was actually around him. There was a boot in front of his face before the body attached to it bent and slid an earpiece over his ear. The chord was draped over his neck and he assumed it went to the Link of whoever was licking him.

" _Are you awake Roxas_?" Tifa asked, her voice as soft and as gentle as she could make it. The blonde grunted a little and tried to pull a hand up to touch his face but Tifa's paw smoothed it back against the platform. Her comforting licks continued but the blonde wished she would stop because his skin was feeling a little raw. As he lay there a little longer, his head started to ache something fierce. He groaned some.

"Tell me if this hurts," Zack's voice sounded from above him and a finger smoothed over the bridge of Roxas' nose. He squeezed a little and when the blonde only let out a small grunt of protest, he sighed. "At least your nose isn't broken. You probably have a concussion though, so just stay still for now," he said. The blonde tested his jaw a little and found that the majority of his face was sore but he didn't feel anything odd or broken otherwise.

"What happened?" he managed to rasp out after a moment.

" _Don't worry about it for now, just relax_ ," Tifa said and she stopped licking for a moment to look around. " _The others are talking to Xemnas but your brother should be back in a minute so just sit tight_." She then resumed.

"Stop licking me, please. My skin is itchy…" the blonde protested.

" _Sorry, habit_ ," she said and stopped. " _Cubs don't get itchy skin from that like people do_."

"'M not…a cub…" Roxas faded as his vision started to get worse again and he tried to focus on battling the crawling darkness that was inching its way in. The voices around him started to fade as his eyelids slipped closed again and he fell into nothingness.

* * *

Axel screamed in pain when someone decided to dump a bottle of disinfectant onto his back and call it a day. The medic that was sitting behind him slapped a large sheet of gauze on his gashes before taping it in place and leaving as quickly as he had come. The not-redhead clenched his teeth against the stinging and burning pain coursing over his torso. He could only hope Roxas was being treated like he mattered. He sighed as he remembered what he had done a little less than an hour ago and fought the urge to start clawing at himself in spite.

"Damn it…" he said aloud and mashed his palms into his eyes with a heavy sigh. The actual moment of the attack was a complete blur and he didn't remember what he had done exactly but he could remember his senses clouding over beforehand. He couldn't stop himself, it was just too much.

Ansem would probably try and tell him and the entire scientific community that it wasn't really Axel's fault. The Carriers were imperfect beings and were meant to fill a specific roll in the reconstruction of the world's ecosystems, not be shown off at a side show for profit. True, Ansem would demonstrate the changing abilities to the masses as well, but he would usually only choose one or two Carriers who were willing to show off rather than cart dozens of them off and force it on them. Axel couldn't be blamed if Xemnas' neglect and greed got in the way of what actually mattered, Ansem would say. Regardless of how true that statement was, Axel still felt lower than dirt.

He was taken away shortly after he came to his senses again and changed back in the tiny changing room where he and the other Carriers had been stripped of their uniforms before. He sat by himself for a long while before the medic came in and gave him his minimal care so he wouldn't die of infection before leaving again. He wasn't allowed to die, as much as he wished he could. His body cost too much money and he hadn't gotten far enough in his project to be considered expendable just yet. This was one of the rare opportunities that being the only one of his kind was a good thing. It had saved him, but at what cost?

Roxas would probably hate him now, in addition to fearing him. The blonde would probably be offered a comfortable stipend for his troubles and either a job at another facility, or free housing for a while so he could get away. He would leave Axel behind and the not-redhead would have to find a new Charge. The new Charge probably wouldn't want him after hearing what had happened to Roxas and his project would grind to a halt and then probably expire before he could do anything of worth. So yes, he had been saved but he didn't really have much of a life anymore so why bother? He could chew some cyanide tablets just as easily as anyone else, or force himself into the outside wasteland and let the radiation eat away at him slowly. Maybe a poacher would find him and make use of him in some way. At least then, he could die with his immortal pelt hanging on someone's wall. For now though, he would have to settle for waiting until he could sneak away and do away with himself in secrecy.

He sighed again and looked around the room. There were piles and piles of uniforms scattered around and he couldn't even begin to comprehend where his had been flung to. He at the very least wanted his underwear, but he doubted he could even have that luxury anymore. He hugged his knees as tight as he could stand it, ignoring the searing pain in his back. He would definitely scar but it would be a constant humbling reminder of what he had done. He supposed he should thank Xemnas for using such excessive means but if it wasn't for the man to begin with, Axel wouldn't be in trouble and they could still be sitting on the platform pretending to like the attention it brought.

"Axel?" Demyx asked suddenly and the not-redhead jumped in surprise then winced as his skin protested against him. His friend eased himself in the tiny room and went about digging around the uniforms for some clothing.

"…What did you want?" Axel asked quietly.

"Um, my underwear for one but I can see your awake so I guess I'll talk to you too."

"I'm not in the mood for talking."

"I guessed as much. Roxas i—"

"I know he's fine physically but he's going to leave now. Did Xemnas say anything?"

"What do you mean Roxas is going to leave? He didn't say he was."

"Why would he stay? I could have killed him."

"Could have but you didn't."

"I still hurt him."

"I know, but he's going to be okay so stop beating yourself up," Demyx chided and flung jackets and pants around, searching. "As far as Xemnas goes, he's rooting for you to be euthanized but it isn't going to happen. The people are pretty shook up too so the convention center is closed for today. You better get out of here and into the back if you want some peace because the others are going to come back in here to get dressed soon."

"Where's Roxas now?"

"He's being looked at by the medics but they don't care enough about any of us to take him to a proper hospital. Ansem will probably send someone to the facility for him just because Ansem's cool like that but he's going home with us today."

"What? He's human; they shouldn't have a problem with him," Axel said, his irritation growing.

"Yeah but he's associated with us, remember? He gets more attention than us but not enough to be considered adequate. Plus, what's done here is coming out of Xemnas' pocket."

"Fucking bastards…"

"Anyway, he only has a concussion and some bruises so he'll be fine in a week," Demyx added with a light smile. "Ah!" he exclaimed and stood upright, pulling his underwear on quickly. He resumed his search in the piles. "Xemnas is trying to appease the public and they want you dead, so at least he's doing this much. I wouldn't push it."

"It's his fault for selling tickets," Axel grumped and tried to push himself up gingerly. Just as he was about to start kicking around the clothing, the other Carriers started to pour in. The not-redhead tried to ignore them for as long as he could but he was an automatic target. There were a lot dirty looks and the occasional poke at his back, which he ignored, but the tension is what was the most suffocating. A large male Carrier who Axel recognized from the canine facility approached him.

"Way to go douchebag, now the rest of us have to come back tomorrow while your fucking pussy cat friends and you get to go home," he said with a light sneer. He tossed his waist length colorless hair over his shoulder and glared at Axel with everything he had. Normally, Xigbar's hair was an unusual array of black and gray streaks but being like everyone else today, he was made to look like the masses instead of the individual. His scars gave away who he was easily enough though. Those never disappeared.

"Back off puppy," Demyx growled as he moved around a fistful of uniforms.

"Tch, this pathetic shit can't even control his own Primal and I'm supposed to feel intimidated?" Xigbar spat and jabbed Axel in the shoulder for emphasis. The not-redhead was a good five inches taller than Xigbar was but the canine wasn't deterred. Axel's blood started to boil after being touched and he grabbed the other's finger, prompting an angry glare from him.

"I could just snap it off, you know," Axel said calmly "then you'd only have three toes on your paws to add to your other… shortcomings."

"Fuck off, prick. You're not so big. Besides, you smell disgusting. Take a damn shower and wash off the fruit salad before you try to make good on your threats. I don't want my brothers to get a food born disease when we rend your flesh."

"I don't see any of your brothers here. Just you. You see the numbers game only works when the other numbers are around to help out the singular."

"Axel, stop," Leon interjected suddenly and put an arm between them. Xigbar's colorless eyes blazed with anger at the not-redhead but Leon's interruption sated him enough to register that his pack really wasn't there to help him with anything. After an intense staring contest that lasted all of four seconds, Xigbar scoffed at them and stomped away. Leon turned to Axel.

"He started it," the not-redhead said automatically.

"It's true," Demyx added and held out Axel's underwear to him. Faced with no one to yell at, Leon simply nodded and went to go search for his own clothing. Riku and Tifa came in shortly after the standoff and the woman went directly to Axel and wrinkled her nose.

"You should shower," she said and the not-redhead nodded.

"Do I have the time to?" he asked. She shrugged.

"They're not going to leave you here so if you're in it already they can't really stop you. The medics left though and didn't leave any more bandages…" she trailed, looking thoughtful. Another male Carrier walked past and slid a hand over her backside, prompting a squeak before she turned and slapped him. "Get your hands off of me," she spat and the male laughed at her before he moved in close and gave his half-hardened erection a good stroke in her direction. Axel reached around Tifa and pressed a large hand to the other's face before giving him a strong shove backwards and the male went spiraling back into someone else who jerked around and started yelling profanities. The two of them shared some heated words before a third member joined in and by that point, Tifa had found her panties and brassiere and was covered enough to feel a little safer. "Thanks," she said and gave Axel a small smile.

"No problem, I'm going to jump in the shower, don't worry about the bandages, I'll be fine."

* * *

"I can't believe they're going to let you go back like this…" Sora trailed as he plucked pieces of debris from his brother's hair. Roxas wasn't feeling so great but really needed a shower before they tried to trek back to the facility so Sora offered his services and was assisting him in getting a little bit cleaner. The blonde was having a hard time keeping is eyes open and felt incredibly tired as he sat under the spray of the shower head in the communal shower in the back of the show room area.

"I'll…be fine," the blonde said and tried to focus on one point between the gray tiles rather than on how tired he felt.

"Well, the medics told us that you need someone to wake you up every three to five hours at night, did you want me to bunk with you?"

"Or just knock on my door, whatever is easiest," Roxas pulled his knees to his chest and laid his chin on them, letting his arms hang limply at his sides.

"You'd think they'd have soap in here," the brunette complained and sighed as he tried to push the grime from his brother's skin. There was an echoing click as the door opened. Roxas closed his eyes so he couldn't see anyone else naked but the brunette's attention was drawn to the sound automatically.

"Oh, sorry… I'll come back," Axel said quietly and went to leave and tried to shut the door.

"There're two sides you know, just stay away from us," Sora said angrily. The not-redhead hesitated before nodding a little.

"Can I ask you a favor, though?" he asked.

"What?"

"Pull this thing off my back?"

"…I guess," the brunette said grumpily and pushed away from Roxas before padding across the tile. Axel presented his back to the Charge and Sora didn't take his time ripping away the bandaging. The not-redhead let out a pained hiss as his beginning scabs and loose pieces of skin stuck to them and were pulled away. "Holy shit, dude," Sora said as he took in the carnage.

"Yeah I know, just ignore me and I'll be out in a minute," Axel grumbled, reaching over to the wall and smacking on the nearest shower head. The lashes on the Carrier's back were much deeper than they should have been. Rather than breaking a few layers of skin at a time like what would normally happen, Xemnas' whip had cracked down and left gaping slash wounds across him in a haphazard jagged pattern.

"Why is it so bad?" the brunette asked, his anger with the Carrier drained away by sudden sympathy.

"They were less damaging on my Primal and got deeper as the skin shifted back. Just worry about Roxas," Axel urged. Sora hesitated but nodded and went back to his brother.

"What happened?" Roxas questioned when he felt Sora's hands in his hair again. No one would tell him what had happened and he was tired of being in the dark. They took his watch, which was beeping erratically, and forced him to do a series of balance tests and things to check how his brain was functioning before being sent to the shower. His curiosity was helping him stay awake but the unknown was making his chest hurt. All he could remember was an angry mob armed with produce and that he woke up on the floor. Across the room, Axel was muttering a string of profanities at the water as it tricked down his back and he tried to pull seeds and pieces of food from his hair. Eventually he would have to submerge himself fully in order to get completely clean but he was trying to put it off as long as he could.

"Don't worry about it," Sora said. "We'll tell you eventually but just trust me it wasn't fun."

"No shit," the blonde.

"You're right, I have no shit anymore because all of it was scared out of me," the brunette joked and his brother sighed. They continued in relative silence, the only voice filtering between them was coming from Axel and even then, none of it was geared towards them so they didn't respond. Roxas kept his eyes squeezed shut the entire time, battling his fatigue constantly, and the not-redhead settled for getting mostly clean before quickly shutting off the shower and leaving them again to drip dry. The Charges had the luxury of towels. Sora let out a relieved sigh when Axel was gone.

"Still not going to tell me?" Roxas asked, pulling his eyes open again.

"I had planned on it when we got in here but then Axel showed up. Now that he's gone, I guess I'll start from the beginning…"


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

The ride back to the facility was completely silent. Axel had given Roxas his uniform jacket and was sitting up front with Yuffie. The passenger seat was reclined back as far as it would go and he laid himself over it on his stomach so he didn't disturb his back. Roxas' uniform was trashed and he huddled on the seat in his boxers under Axel's jacket and several more with his head resting on Tifa's thigh. She stroked his hair with a motherly hand and he tried his best to keep his eyes open and his mind blank. Yuffie tried her best to keep the vehicle steady as it went over the uneven terrain but despite her efforts, it was still horrendously bumpy and uncomfortable.

Sora had explained everything to the blonde; how it started, what the people said, what they did, Axel's attack, and how it ended. The brunette didn't see exactly _why_ the cat attacked him, but he knew that he had and that's all that mattered. Axel didn't say much to Roxas and tried to keep his distance but Leon and Cloud explained to the blonde why it really wasn't Axel's fault. The blonde had mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, he couldn't really blame Axel for getting so upset. On the other hand, Roxas was scared to death of him now. Not necessarily his Implant form, but he was unsure of when he would be able to face his Primal form again. It was a major problem because if Roxas couldn't face the tiger again, he couldn't fulfill his contract; not that anyone would blame him for it.

Sora tried his best to stay positive. He was determined to bunk with Roxas for the next week or so until the symptoms of his concussion were gone. The blonde insisted it wasn't entirely necessary but the brunette was relentless. Riku offered to help as well but Roxas declined. Sora was enough for now but he had the urge to ask Tifa if he could call her for good cuddle if he felt the need. He was feeling weak and helpless with how easily everything had gone downhill and he just wanted to be held, though he wouldn't openly admit it. Cloud and Leon sat together on the seat furthest to the front and they started a hushed conversation between themselves.

"How're you doing?" Demyx asked and he leaned forward in his seat to look into Roxas' face. The blonde groggily shifted his eyes to him before giving a feeble shrug.

"Eh…" was all he would say and Demyx nodded sagely and sat back as if he completely understood everything. They could tell when they were getting close. The ride halted for a little while at the gate and then was smoother as they traveled through the city. Roxas sat up before they could get to the horribly uneven terrain traveling up the hill to the facility and he groaned and held his head as the sounds of the ocean returned with a mighty headache when he was jostled around. Eventually, it stopped and they were at their destination.

Zack and Tifa bid their farewells before heading to the female half of the facility and everyone else piled out with Leon helping Roxas out last. Axel went ahead of everyone and was the first to disappear but no one argued with him. Leon carried the blonde into his room and gently laid him out on his bed before tucking him under the covers.

"Thanks," Roxas said and shifted around to get comfortable.

"No problem. Get some rest and I'll tell Sora to come back in a couple hours. I'm going to leave your door unlocked so you don't have to get up, okay?" he asked and the blonde nodded a little. "No sudden movements, and be careful."

"Okay."

* * *

Roxas was vaguely aware of his door opening and closing. He was also aware of the presence in the room as it moved carefully across his carpeting. The body deposited itself on the floor next to the bed and the blonde could tell that they were directly in front of his face. He tried to push the last pieces of sleep away from himself in order to open his eyes a little and when he did it wasn't Sora he was seeing but Axel. His hair and eyes had regained their life and color but that was all Roxas could see because the rest of his face was hidden below the line of the mattress.

"Sorry, I can leave," the redhead whispered.

"Did you need something?" the blonde whispered back sleepily.

"I just… wanted to check. Um, I'm really sorry I hurt you."

"I understand, Cloud and Leon explained everything. How's your back? Can I see?"

"It sucks and you don't want to see," Axel said and his brows drooped some and he looked off to the side.

"I don't have my watch so I can tell what's wrong so I have to see."

"You're supposed to be resting, I just wanted to apologize and I did so I should go."

"Did you get new bandages?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Axel…"

"Roxas, seriously. Don't worry about it," he repeated.

"Please don't make me get up and force you," the blonde grumbled and gave him a light glare. The redhead's eyebrows rose high on his forehead.

"Force me? How exactly would you go about doing that? I'm almost curious."

"I don't know, just show me."

"No, I want to know how. Show me."

"Axel."

"Roxas?"

"Stop being difficult."

"Go back to sleep; sorry I even came in. I don't want to argue with you," the redhead huffed and pushed himself up from the floor. He was wearing his usual beige shorts and t-shirt again and he was about to leave when the blonde's arm shot out and grabbed the back pocket of the lower garment. Axel froze and sighed. Roxas pushed himself up gently with his free arm and sat. He blinked a few times to clear the dots away from his vision but he settled back just fine.

"Show me," he ordered and the redhead glanced over his shoulder at his Charge. He sighed again and sat on the edge of the bed and gingerly pulled the fabric of his t-shirt up. Roxas was horrified at the darkened burgeoning scabs adorning the pale skin.

"Oh my god Axel, why aren't you wearing any bandages? You're going to get an infection… why are they so dark?"

"They're dark because they're deep and because they reach my Totem blood vessels and that blood is almost black. Can I go now?"

"Not unless you're going to get bandages on them."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"I am. Ansem will be here in the morning and he'll fix me up a little better."

"What are you going to do until then?"

"Wait it out? What do you expect me to do?"

"This really bothers me," the blonde said and gave him an unhappy glare.

"Just…stop worrying. I'll show you again after Ansem comes," the redhead insisted and stood again. Roxas took a deep breath and shifted his glare to his pillow. Axel was about to exit when the blonde stopped him again.

"I don't blame you, you know," he said quietly and Axel hesitated.

"Neither does anyone else. I'm the only one that sees the real problem."

"Real problem? What problem?"

"I couldn't control my Primal. That's a problem."

"There were extenuating circumstances though. You can't be blamed for that."

"The fact remains that it still happened, Roxas. I should have worried about protecting you and instead I caused more harm than good with my selfishness."

"Selfi—fuck you," the blonde spat. "Fuck you and whatever self conscious bullshit you have. God, I can't believe you'd even say something like that."

"Well what other explanation is there?"

"Other than the fact that it wasn't your fucking fault?"

"It may not have started that way but the end result is the same. I couldn't control myself and I hurt you. End of story," Axel said blankly and left before Roxas could protest any more. The blonde let out an angry groan before forcing himself back under the covers. His face was starting to hurt with how long he had been scowling and he rubbed his cheeks gently before closing his eyes and letting sleep claim him again.

* * *

"I'm sorry Xemnas used such force with you, I'll have a few words with the Committee and we'll see if we can conjure up some sort of punishment for him," Ansem said and dabbed at Axel's skin with a mass of gauze dipped in something that made the redhead wince. He was stretched out on his stomach on one of the examination tables in the lab. Roxas had been sleeping on and off for the last day and Sora was diligently interrupting the sleep cycles like he was told to do. Everything was going fine with the blonde's recovery but it didn't give the redhead much peace with himself. Everyone insisted that he wasn't to blame but the entire scenario just gave Axel an excuse to hate his Primal even more.

"Punishment for what? For stopping me or for selling tickets? Because neither of those things are illegal," Axel asked.

"For allowing the instigators inside in the first place, of course."

"I'm sure they paid good money, just like everyone else probably did."

"They paid to see, not to abuse."

"Abuse? The law doesn't recognize abuse for us."

"Which is why it bothers me so much," Ansem said calmly. "Did you want a skin graft or did you want to try to heal regularly?"

"It doesn't matter."

"A skin graft will give you less scarring."

"It doesn't matter," Axel repeated and laid his cheek on his arm.

"Did you want scars?"

"I'll have some regardless. They're a reminder of how much of a complete failure I am."

"Well that was a little dark. Who said you're a failure?"

"What evidence do I have to prove otherwise? My Charge hates me, my project is a mess, I almost killed someone, I made about five hundred people run away from me in fear, I cost you and Xemnas a bunch of money, which part of all that is success?"

"None of it is really but you can't expect instant results Axel."

"Instant results and mild progress are not the same thing. At the very least I would've liked some headway in the project even if all of this happened, then I'd have something else to focus on. I have to wait for Roxas to heal before we can move forward again."

"Riku's project is running at about the same pace as yours, Leon's took ten years to get off the ground. You're asking too much of yourself."

"At least Riku has a Charge that likes him," the redhead grumbled.

"Roxas doesn't like you?"

"I can't even tell. Especially not anymore. Before he was just bipolar now he's all sorts of screwed up."

"Should we put him on suicide watch?"

"I don't think he's screwed up like that but he's probably not going to want to be near me anymore."

"Have you even asked him?"

"No, but I have a feeling."

"Well you'll get your answer when he's offered his stipend package by the Committee," Ansem added. He hummed a little to himself before picking up a pair of small metal tongs and leaning in to squint at Axel's back.

"What's he being offe—" he let out a sudden scream as Ansem dug into his skin. "What the _fuck_ are you _doing_?" he yelled. The man didn't answer him and the redhead could see the tongs come into his line of vision from the side and they dropped something small and black on the table next to him.

"Pulling a watermelon seed out of your back," he answered simply.

"Well god damn! Warn me next time!"

"But it got you stop bitching. Now hold still, there's another one."

* * *

It was four days after the conference and Roxas was feeling considerably better. Sora only had to wake him up once a night now instead of every few hours and he could walk around and eat with everyone again so long as he didn't decide to break out into a round of calisthenics. He was in his room for most of the day though, focusing his efforts on learning the Catalogue and exploring it as much as he felt he should. Axel didn't push him. In fact, Axel didn't talk to him much and the blonde was starting to feel a little lonely even if Sora visited him regularly. For the moment though, Roxas had other things to worry about and he leaned over his tablet, reading what Ansem had brought him.

 _In light of the current circumstances you,_ _ Roxas Andrews _ _, are being offered a stipend package to alleviate any additional stress brought on by your ordeal. If you decide to stay with the Carrier Practice you may be reassigned to any other facility of your choosing where you will undergo training as a Technician. As a Technician, your focus would be on gaining data and intelligence for the prospect of new Charges as well as performing initial checkups on newly matured Carriers. Your contact with fully developed Carriers however, will be minimized and you can live in relative peace knowing you won't have to suffer through the possibility of another attack._

 _If you refuse the opportunity given above, we have one other option to offer you. You may choose a civilian life free of the Carrier program. We will offer you free housing outside of_ _ Dome 813 _ _for five years, and since you are still of the schooling age, we will send you back to the University of your choice so you may complete a degree and continue on in life successfully and peacefully. We are also prepared to offer you one free use of the stasis chambers once the time comes for you to renew the process._

_Of course you have the right to refuse everything we have offered and remain at your current facility. Your duties will resume as soon as you are able but we can provide a counselor for you to become readjusted to your Carrier's Primal form if you so choose._

Roxas didn't bother reading the rest of what followed afterward and simply scrolled down past all the statistics of things he was going to be offered. He sighed and tossed the tablet aside and rubbed his eyebrows. He could leave? And be normal again? The prospect was tempting but then he'd be leaving Sora and his new friends behind. His only friends. But then again, he left his old ones relatively easily, couldn't he do it again? But then again there was Sora. He sighed again. He glared at the tablet for a moment before taking it up again and flicked through to find out how long he had to respond. One week. That could be enough time to make an educated decision. He pushed off his bed and left his room, heading for Sora and Riku's lab. He knocked first before pushing his way in.

"Hi!" Sora called from his chair as he watched Riku do something overly complicated that he couldn't understand. Riku muttered a greeting as most of his attention needed to be elsewhere.

"Hey," the blonde greeted and held his tablet out to his brother.

"What's this?"

"Chocolate. What do you think it is, dildo? Read it," Roxas said grumpily.

"Did you just call him a dildo?" Riku asked through a sudden grin even though his eyes remained on his microscope. He started to laugh a little. Nobody answered him and Sora poked around on the device, reading and ignoring his brother's insult.

"Wow, a Technician? Why do I have a feeling there's more to it than what it says here? For that matter, can you stay here and train?"

"I don't know, it just says I _may_ be transferred, not that I _have_ to be. I don't know what to do though. The point of coming here was that I could be involved in this stuff," the blonde said and motioned to the surrounding area, "not sit around and gather data all day, though the proposition is tempting. I'm really only curious as to what is all involved in it but I'm not so sure I want to make it a permanent thing."

"What about this other thing about civilian life?" Sora asked and squinted at the tablet. "Do you think you'd go for that? You'd have at least forty years before you start getting old if you take their free stasis thing, that's more than enough time to get a family together if you chose to."

"It is, I know. I considered that but I don't think I'd have as much of an opportunity like that as far as careers go. Plus, I think learning here is way more interesting than studying in school."

"I hear you on that, homework sucks."

"You never did finish that English Lit paper," Riku interjected and Sora glared at him though he couldn't see it.

" _Anyway_ …" the brunette said with exaggerated faux anger. "Really if you're more concerned about a family you'd eventually get the same thing here except with… more fur."

"Kittens versus babies, that's always an interesting comparison," Roxas said thoughtfully and tapped his chin.

"Axel'd be your wife dude, that's kind of creepy," the brunette said as he came to the realization. "Does that mean Riku is my wife, then?"

"Never heard it put _that_ way," Riku added. He took his eyes away from the microscope to squint at the wall a little in thought. "Though, with Roxas' mood swings you'd think he'd make a better wife than Axel would."

"Hey, Axel has his own PMS problems alright? It isn't just me," the blonde said and glared at him.

"Can either of you even cook?" Sora asked. "Or like… run a vacuum cleaner? Because that's what mom did all day."

"Good lord Sora, if that's your view on what wife should be you're really in the dark," Roxas said and rubbed eyes. The brunette shrugged.

"Whatever, I just know what mom did. I didn't pay attention to anyone else's moms so I have no idea. Then again, no one here actually has to do any of that stuff."

"Axel did my laundry once, does that count?" the blonde added thoughtfully.

"He did? Riku! Do my laundry!"

"Okay," Riku agreed.

"Just like that?" Sora asked sounding a little stunned. Roxas was just as surprised.

"Sure, why not? This is supposed to be a reciprocal relationship. If you would like me to do your laundry in exchange for all the weird things you have to do with me, then it's only fair."

"Awesome!" Sora said gleefully and gave Roxas a grin. The blonde laughed a little. He couldn't argue the logic though. Giving one's Carrier a prostate exam every few months was a pretty good way to collect laundry duty from them. The less glamorous parts of their jobs probably put a certain sense of obligation on the Carriers so it made sense if Axel wanted to clean up after Roxas before which also meant he would probably do it again. "So now that that's settled, what are you going to choose?" Sora asked.

"Well the way I see it, my choices are between staying here and being a Charge as per the original plan or going off and becoming a Technician."

"No civilian life?"

"It's not as appealing. Part of me wants to become a Technician just so I can try and get enough influence to make a change with the way things are done around here. Make a political stance for Carrier rights and stuff. Is there a way I can be a Charge _and_ a Technician?"

"I've never heard of such a thing happening before," Riku said, turning away from his microscope to join the conversation properly. "The amount of work you'd have to do is staggering though. Technicians travel a lot and it'd be hard to get your Charge duties done if you were away consistently enough. What if something was to happen to Axel and you're thousands of domes away?"

"Oh, I wasn't aware of the traveling. See, this is why they need to outline this shit better if they're going to offer it to someone. I have no idea what a Technician does."

"Technicians also bounce between dimensions and check out people in Radiant Garden and tons of other places just like how they were able to find you two."

"Wait wait wait wait…" Sora interrupted. "So, Technicians go about finding new Charges to put in the Catalogue _not_ just by looking at the past here? There's a way to go back to Radiant Garden if Roxas becomes a Technician? You said we couldn't go back!"

"You can't. If we sent you back you'd rejoin the timeline suddenly but it wouldn't bring back the memories of the people that knew you. You'd have no lives and essentially be illegal immigrants no matter where you went because you'd have no paper work to even say you were born. More likely than not, you'd end up dead in a ditch somewhere. Plus, we don't have magical powers to erase your memories of this place so you'd have far too much information at your disposal and would either really screw things up in Radiant Garden by developing our technologies, or you'd be labeled a psychopath. Carriers don't have the abilities to take you back anyway; it's all done through the permission of Technicians. They'd never allow you to go back."

"But if Roxas became a Technician—"

"Do you want to go back that badly?" Riku asked, sounding a little hurt.

"Wh—I… no. No not really. I just miss my parents but if they wouldn't remember me anyway I guess there's no point," Sora said and slouched in his chair with a look of longing and sadness creeping across his features.

"I wouldn't let you go back anyway," Roxas said. "What Riku says makes a lot of sense and there would be nothing for you."

"I know…" the brunette huffed. Riku watched Sora carefully for a moment before turning back to his work without another word. The brunette handed the tablet back to Roxas. "Do you really think you'd be able to get enough influence to change things though if you do go through with it?"

"I'd like to try. The things they put the Carriers through are absolutely disgusting. You'd think they'd be more respectful of them since they're essentially running the show as far as this whole project goes. I don't see Xemnas' ass in here doing any of the reconstruction work."

"He's out finding Charges. Don't get things confused, Technicians do just as much as we do," Riku said flatly.

"Still…"

"I understand your concern and really, it's a nice gesture but so long as the general public thinks we're abominations, that's how it's going to remain. Even if you did somehow put some political movement together I highly doubt you'd have enough supporters to get any laws passed. Especially since the conventions and shows give us three quarters of the funding we need. They're a necessary evil."

"That doesn't mean you all should settle for it. It's wrong."

"I know it is. But the public doesn't."

"Well then the public can suck my dick."

"Roxas!" Sora exclaimed with a hand over his mouth. "What would Axel say if he heard about you whoring yourself like that?"

"…Shut up Sora, I'm serious. Axel doesn't have a say about my dick anyway."

"He doesn't?"

"No."

"Oh. Well that's unfortunate."

"Do you _want_ me to punch you?" the blonde growled and gave his brother a glare. Sora simply grinned at him.

"No, I'm good," the brunette said happily and waved a hand dismissively. "Are you guys having marital problems or something?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The stuff you told me about before between you two, nothing has changed?"

"Why would it?"

"Don't answer the question with another question, do you want him or not?"

"Stop!" the blonde barked as his cheeks turned a little pink.

"Just pretend I'm not here," Riku said and Roxas sighed.

"Axel is my friend. I don't have any inclinations towards him like that."

"Yet," Sora added. "You're just blue balling it for other outside reasons then?"

"I'm done having this conversation," the blonde deflected. "What do you think I should choose?" he asked and held up his tablet.

"What I think doesn't matter. You know I'd love it if you stayed but I'm not going to hold you back either. Personally I think you should make a decision soon so you don't lead Axel on and make him think he has a Charge still," the brunette said. "I noticed you have a week to decide, I'd make it this evening so you can get on the right track as soon as possible."

"To become Technician in order to make a change is an unrealistic goal," Riku said. "I think you should stay here."

"I wish there was a way I could do both," Roxas said.

"You could always ask Ansem and see what he has to say. I would talk to Axel first though, just to make sure he'd be willing to keep you if there was a way for you to do both. He may not want you to be distracted from his project."

"True, I didn't even think about that. I'll go ask him, thanks."

* * *

Axel's back was incredibly sore. He sat at his Catalogue terminal and poked around the section that controlled his sense of pain. He was contemplating turning the sensitivity of his nerves down but then he'd be running the risk of hurting himself and not noticing until there was a serious problem. It was quite the dilemma seeing as how Roxas' watch was still out of commission so he couldn't rely on that to tell him if he was hurting himself. He decided to tough it out for the next few days until the watch was back from Ansem's.

"Axel?" Roxas asked abruptly and the redhead startled some. "Sorry," the blonde said quickly.

"What did you need?" he asked and pushed his chair around to face him.

"What are you doing?" Roxas asked curiously, ignoring the original question completely.

"Deciding on whether or not to turn down the sensitivity of my nerves so I can't feel my back healing," Axel said simply. The blonde raised a brow.

"You can do that?"

"As well as other things. I can turn off my appetite and my tear ducts and my saliva glands and a whole bunch of other useless things."

"I didn't know that. That's kind of useful though."

"I guess. It's really just a giant reminder of how inhuman I am on most days though the pain reduction has some appeal at the moment."

"Is it that bad?"

"I've felt better, let's say. What did you need?" he repeated. Roxas handed him his tablet and Axel took a moment to read what it said. "What about it?" he asked.

"I wanted your opinion."

"My opinion doesn't matter, you choose what you want and I won't blame you for any of it."

"Civilian life isn't appealing enough for me. I was wondering if you thought there was a way I could be a Technician and a Charge."

"That's actually and interesting idea. I've never heard of it happening before but it would be a lot to do. With the traveling and everything that's involved with being a Technician though, I'm not sure how you'd be an efficient Charge. I am happy you're having a problem deciding between the two though because that tells me you're hesitant to leave."

"So you want me to stay?"

"Of course I do. Don't let me influence your decision though. It's not going to be easy to get readjusted to me after what I did to you and it'd be way easier just to become a Technician to avoid any more trauma. I can find another Charge even if it does put a delay on things."

"Oh, so you don't want me to stay because I'm me. You want me to stay so you don't have to find another Charge?" the blonde asked. His feelings were a little hurt but he couldn't really blame Axel. He hadn't been the best person to be around for most of his time there and he really didn't know the redhead's feelings as far as their 'friendship' went. Roxas was constantly getting the impression he was so indifferent on things so Axel came off as a little hard to read. Not that Roxas had any impressive people skills to go off of.

"I don't want you to decide based on my feelings, so I'm going to put it to you that way. I don't want to find another Charge. Take it as you will," the redhead responded with little emotion in his voice. "Ask Ansem about doing both and if there's a way for you to do it all efficiently, I won't push you away because of it."

"Alright, when is Ansem coming back?"

"He's bringing back your watch in a few days."

"Oh, alright. Was it really that badly damaged?"

"You landed on it pretty good. They're delicate little things."

"I see."

"Are you okay to start working again though? Or did you want to wait until you've made a decision?"

"I honestly haven't thought about it very much. This whole stipend package thing had me a little distracted. Do you need me to do anything?"

"Not really anything that doesn't involve my Primal."

"Oh… I don't think I'm ready for that just yet. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Did you need me to do anything for you?"

"What would you do?"

"You tell me," Axel said with a shrug. He turned to the Catalogue again and exited out of his application before disconnecting his Link and giving the blonde his full attention. "I need to make it up to you somehow."

"Axel, we've been over this, it wasn't your fa—"

"My fault, I know. I still don't feel right just going back to normal without doing anything for you though. I… I feel really terrible," he admitted and ran his fingers through his crimson follicles, shifting his eyes to the floor.

"I don't have anything for you to do though. I really can't think of anything I need other than a decision for this thing," Roxas said and motioned to his tablet. Axel handed it back to him and the blonde stared at it for a moment. "If anything I'd like a solid opinion from you. You know, one with what you're thinking."

"But it doesn't matter what my opinion is. It's your decision," the redhead insisted. "It's your life, Roxas. I can't dictate that for you."

"I just wish I knew what you were thinking sometimes."

"I'm thinking I don't want to find another Charge."

"That's not exactly a definitive statement though."

"And that's how it's going to have to stay until you decide for yourself what you want," he said. Roxas sighed. He was really hoping to gain some answers based on Axel's views on the whole scenario but instead the redhead was making him more indecisive. His head was starting to ache with the intense thought processes he was trying to sort through and he set his tablet aside to rub his face some and clear it away.

"Do Technicians visit the facilities a lot?"

"They can, I suppose. They have the run over every facility though. Most choose to stick to a select few in order to keep the focus in one place but they bounce around basically as they're needed. Ansem likes to stick around here between this one and the canine facility but he does go off all over the place if he's called to."

"I see. So if I was to choose to be Technician I couldn't stay here and concentrate on just this dome."

"That's the way it tends to work, yes."

"Well why couldn't I?"

"Carriers are matured all the time but not necessarily all in one place. Here in this dome we usually see a new Carrier (of any strain) every four or five years _maybe_. New strains, such as myself, rarely happen here as well. So Technicians are called all over to accommodate the lull in activity in their home cities. They're used to do the preliminary tests and things for each new Carrier and are an essential part to getting everything started right. Not to mention all the traveling they do just to gather Charge data."

"So is it useless to even consider doing both?"

"I can't answer that for you. You'd have to see what Ansem says he can do for you but I'm having a hard time imagining you doing it all at once."

"I'm sure if I did succeed in doing it, there would be more Charges trying to follow after me. I can see Cloud trying to do the same thing very easily."

"I can see that too. It'd probably start a whole movement amongst the Charges but then again that'd mean you'd have to fight for the rights of those people as well. If you didn't notice the medics that were treating you at the conference weren't exactly pleased to be there and gave you very minimal care. The unfortunate side effect of being associated with the Carriers is that you tend to be treated like dirt just like they are. So if you were to bridge that gap between Charge and Technician, I can see where there would be a bevy of problems associated with it as far as your basic rights are concerned."

"That's a very good point. Do I legally have fewer rights because I'm a Charge?"

"Technically no. But if you ask Jane Doe on the street what she thinks of you and she kicks you in the shin, the police won't give your assault charge much attention. It's just the way things are. I don't like it."

"Well I don't like the way the public treats you and the other Carriers either."

"Thank you for saying as much but there isn't anything we can do about it."

"I considered becoming a Technician to see if I could change that, honestly."

"That's very noble of you but also very foolish."

"Riku said the same thing. But he said 'unrealistic' instead of calling me names," the blonde said with a light glare. Axel shrugged.

"It's true though."

"Can't blame me for wanting to try."

"That is also true." They shared an awkward silence between them as the conversation ground to a halt. Roxas' headache was creeping closer to being a full fledged migraine and he groaned a little, rubbing his temples. "Problem?"

"Headache."

"Oh, here," Axel said and stood from his seat to move to the back of the lab and shuffle around in one of the cabinets. "Did you want something to make it stop? Or did you want something to make it stop and make you sleep? I suppose I could give you something to do both and make you hallucinate too…"

"Hallucinate?"

"A fancy little concoction of the 'black shit' you so gingerly called it as well as pain relief."

"People take that stuff for headaches?"

"There's a formula of it that doesn't involve any transmitters that force people to dream what the other party wants them too. It's actually like our version of methamphetamines in a lot of ways but it isn't illegal."

"…Why do you have that? What's the purpose?"

"Recreation mostly."

"That's really strange."

"It doesn't work with Carriers though. Our minds are too complexly intertwined with all the extra shit they need to be able to do so they're provided to us as pain relief but if we give them to the Charges a whole bunch of fun nonsense ensues. We should try it sometime and record it."

"I'll pass, thanks. I didn't think you guys got bored enough to drug the people around you and watch what they do."

"Well depending on the dosage it really calms them down too. Like… if you _really_ needed to come in contact with my Primal form right now. Like right this instant, you would be completely freaked out right?"

"…Yes," the blonde said sheepishly.

"But if it was an emergency and you just couldn't get yourself to calm down for whatever reason, you can pop one of these and relax enough to focus on what you need to do. They're hardly ever needed for that purpose though, but the option is there."

"Interesting. I think I'll just go lay down though. I'm not that far gone yet."

"That's fine. I'll be here if you need anything else, just try and think a little about your decision when you feel better. I'd really like a clear answer sometime soon and don't forget Ansem comes back in a few days."

"Okay. Thanks."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Are you sure about this, young one? I'm afraid once I accept this I won't be able to offer you a position like this again unless you put some serious effort in on your part," Ansem asked with a kindhearted smile. After considering all the details, without much help from anyone else, Roxas was finally able to come up with a definite answer for his future. He wanted to stay.

"See that's what bothers me about all this and I was actually going to ask the reason behind the offer but you just gave me my answer. You're offering me a position as a Technician out of sympathy, not because I have the potential to be something great."

"Well you're taking it to an extreme I never meant for it to be taken to but I suppose that is what it looks like doesn't it? Even still, you're sure you want to stay here?"

"After hearing that, yes. I considered asking you if there were some aspects of both positions I could do but that's asking too much of not only myself, but this sympathy package."

"Stipend package."

"Whatever, it's the same thing no matter which way you slice it. Honestly after thinking about it for so long I just want to forget it ever happened and go back to the way things were a week ago. Can I do that now?" Roxas asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice. His concussion had healed nicely over the last week and he was feeling antsy to get back to work and do something of worth rather than hide out in his room all day. He wasn't meaning to get angry with Ansem because he was nice guy after all but after their brief discussion, Roxas could see the stipend package for what it really was. A way to cover Ansem's ass.

"If that is your choice, I have no other option but to comply. Did you want me to go about finding you a councilor for any lasting issues you may have with Axel's Primal?"

"I'll get back to you on that. I haven't come in contact with it since so I honestly don't know how I feel for certain. I'm a little apprehensive for sure, but I don't think it's anything debilitating."

"If you insist. If that is everything, I will take my leave and not bother you again unless I have to. Take care of yourself and let me know if you change your mind about that councilor."

"I will. Thanks for the offer and I'm sorry I'm sort of an ass, but after thinking about it so much the more and more it seemed like a load of crap to me. Offering me a bunch of scapegoats just because something bad happened? That's not really my cup of tea. At the very least I know I have potential for this and it's really what I wanted to do in the first place."

"Very well. I respect your decision."

"Thanks," the blonde repeated and they stood together, shook hands, and Ansem left without another word. Roxas sighed and stretched wide before heading out of the lab and going off to find Axel and give him the news. They had kicked the redhead out of the room in order to hold their impromptu meeting and he didn't give any indication of where he would go. He wasn't in the cafeteria and he wasn't in his Primal form so there was no reason to use the pool so Roxas settled on checking his bedroom. In an effort to not disturb anything he put his ear to the door for a brief listen. Everything was quiet so he knocked. He waited a moment and when the redhead didn't answer, he tried the knob. It was open but when he leaned inside, Axel was nowhere to be found. The blonde strained his ear and could hear the shower running further in. His mind was flooded with a series of images that involved Axel wet and naked and he mashed his palms into his eyes to stop himself. "Damn it…" he muttered to himself before closing the door and forcing himself to walk away.

"Roxas!" Demyx called, startling the blonde. "Is Axel home?" the sandy blonde asked as he came closer. There was a hint of excitement in his voice that Roxas didn't fully understand.

"Uh… he's in the shower I think, I didn't actually see him go in but I could hear it running."

"Oh, psh! That's not a problem," the Carrier said and shoved his way into Axel's room. Roxas gaped at him and stood in the doorway and watched as the sandy blonde barged into the bathroom, kicking the door in loudly. The redhead yelped from within. "Axel!" Demyx twittered.

"Fucking hell!" Axel yelled and there was a loud smack.

"Ow…" Demyx whined.

"What do you want?"

"I was coming to invite you to the viewing! Don't get all pissy with me!"

"You scared the hell out of me what do you expect me to say?"

"You're supposed to say 'Oh Demmykins is it the fifteenth already? Of course I'll join you on your hilarious date down to Leon and Cloud's lab!'"

"Fuck, it's the fifteenth? Why didn't you remind me sooner?" Axel asked and there was a rustling of clothes after the shower turned off.

"What's going on?" Roxas asked from in the bedroom. Demyx went off into a maniacal laughing fit and Axel's face appeared around the doorframe with a surprised look.

"When did you get there?"

"About thirty seconds before Demyx scared the shit out of you."

"Oh," the redhead said and stepped out into the doorway, zipping his shorts. His hair was still dripping wet and Demyx draped a towel over his head before bypassing him and out into the hallway.

"Roxas you're coming too; don't take too long, ladies!" he said happily and closed the door behind him.

"Wait, what?" the blonde asked and looked at the door then back to Axel who was busy rubbing his hair dry. The redhead went back into the bathroom to retrieve his shirt and exited again, pulling it over his head with one hand as the other held a specimen canister. Roxas' face immediately went pink when he realized what the redhead was doing in the shower. "So…what are we doing?"

"Leon gets his prostate exam on the fifteenth every four months. A few years ago, Demyx and I happened to be passing by their lab when we overheard their conversation through the entire process and we almost pissed ourselves it was so hilarious."

"So we're going to Leon and Cloud's lab to eavesdrop on Cloud giving Leon a prostate exam? What the fuck is wrong with you people?"

"You have to hear it. It's totally worth it," Axel said and gave the blonde a malicious grin.

"I'm not so sure I want to be around for this," the blonde said and furrowed his brows.

"Suit yourself but I highly recommend it."

"Leon doesn't get angry with you guys?"

"He has no clue we do it. Come on," Axel urged and nudged the blonde with his free hand as he made his way to the door. Roxas' eyes drifted to the specimen canister again and could see the button on the top was pressed down signaling that it was in use and he blushed all over again. His feet ended up on auto-pilot as he followed Demyx and Axel down the hallway. He blinked a few times and forced himself to think straight.

"Why do they do this in the lab? Isn't it a little… public?" he asked. Demyx shrugged.

"They usually end up doing other stuff afterwards which is even funnier."

"Other stu—doesn't that reinforce the whole 'public area' issue?"

"You're not getting what Demyx is talking about," Axel said. "If they're going to have impromptu sex, the best place to do it is in the lab because," he held up the specimen canister over his shoulder and gave it a wiggle, "it saves a trip."

"What the _hell_. I don't want to hear this," Roxas said and gave the redhead a disgusted look.

"Sure you do, the conversation beforehand is what we go for. We don't stick around for the aftermath."

"Even still. Talking about prostate exams is embarrassing enough as it is, but witnessing one when you don't really have to is even worse. You two are awful," he blamed and they took a quick detour for Axel to run into their own lab for a minute to deposit the canister inside. Demyx was busy having a giggle fit when the redhead returned and Roxas tried his best not to fidget. They continued walking together and the blonde couldn't understand why he was still following them.

"If it's so terrible why are you following us still? You don't have to do this you know," the redhead said and raised a brow at him.

"I'm not sure. Part of me wants to break up the monotony of the day by doing this and part of me wants to tell Leon what you two do."

"Aw, if you do that it'll ruin the fun!" Demyx whined. "We don't watch, just listen. No harm done."

"I still don't get why this is a form of entertainment for you."

"Everybody here is all up in everybody else's business Roxas. Everyone has a funny story to tell about everyone else and that's what makes living here so much fun sometimes. Leon and Cloud are the best though, I swear. They've been together for so long that their life together is just one giant sitcom," the sandy blonde said with a mirthful smile. "I dunno about you but after so many years of living, the things you think are disgusting and embarrassing are just more fodder for the gossip circle and end up being hilarious in the long run. None of the Carriers care about nudity anymore, for instance, or things like prostate exams because we've gone through so many of them and we know so much about one another it doesn't even matter anymore." Axel nodded in agreement.

"I… suppose that makes sense but I can't imagine Leon would be very happy about this."

"Nope, he'd hit the roof if he found out but he'd get over it in less than an hour because that's the way it is here. You don't sweat what doesn't really matter."

"Right," Axel agreed.

"This better be funny, you guys," the blonde warned and gave them each a glare. The friends gave each other a wide toothy grin before they continued on in silence. The closer they came to the ominous pair of doors the more Roxas' heart rate sped up. He wasn't concerned that he would actually see what was happening but he was concerned that they would make some sort of notable noise and Leon's fury would be brought down on them like a meteor shower. _That_ would be bad. A more curious end of his brain was telling him that he could tell who was making what noises in Axel's triplex all those weeks ago if either of them decided to get heated. He could remember the scenario clearly and could do a comparison depending on the things he heard during Leon's exam. Or perhaps he was simply trying to distract himself by making everything semi-educational.

Demyx tip toed quickly out in front of them and took a peek into one of the small windows of the lab doors before ducking below it and waved an arm to usher the other two over. Axel grabbed Roxas' hand and pulled him along in a half-crouch until they were sitting on the floor with their ears to the doors. Neither of the men inside the lab talked for a while which was almost a relief for Roxas until he could hear low chuckling and a loud snap as Cloud pulled on a rubber glove.

"Is it entirely necessary to look like a homicidal maniac?" Leon asked in an annoyed tone.

"Homicidal? Me?" the Charge responded innocently.

"Don't get cute with me."

"The only homicides I have ever committed pertain to you and your flesh children. The best parts about those kinds of homicides is that they aid in research and tickle me when they land on my stomach."

"…I can't believe you just said that to me."

"Get over it. Drop trou and bend over, lovey."

"I should punch you."

"But then I wouldn't be able to stick my finger in your ass and check your old man bits."

"I should _really_ punch you."

"You're so violent."

"Only when it comes to you."

"Is that because you're a sadist or you genuinely hate me, I wonder?" Cloud asked curiously and there were a series of angry mutters and the sound of a zipper being pulled. Axel and Demyx had their hands over the mouths trying to keep the laughs inside. Roxas, on the other hand, was horrified. The dialogue was entertaining enough but he was apprehensive when it came to the idea that he would have to give Axel prostate exams eventually. The Carriers probably thought the entire ordeal was funny because they weren't on the giving end of the process, but the blonde was fully aware of the duty and he wasn't thrilled. "Where'd you hide the gel?" Cloud continued as there were the sounds of several drawers being opened and closed.

"You're the one that hides shit everywhere. Wherever you put it last is where it is."

"That was months ago why do you expect me to remember these things?"

"If you weren't so dense you could probably remember fairly easily. Don't blame me because you were dropped on your head."

"And you wonder why I deliberately make you angry every day."

"You do that on purpose? I thought you were just an enormous asshat."

"Did you just call me an asshat?" Cloud asked and all the noise ceased as he started to laugh. "How…juvenile. I could just to this thing dry, is that what you want?"

"I would really rather you don't do it at all. You _know_ it works properly."

"But I have a report to fill out. The Committee is making an entire documentary on the integrity of your ass and how well you can squirt semen; didn't you get the memo? Don't you want to be a celebrity?"

"Oh my god Cloud," Leon trailed and there was a soft ' _thunk_ ' as the Carrier let his forehead fall to the exam table and he started to laugh.

"See? That's why you keep me around. Now if I can find the—never mind, found it," the Charge said and a drawer closed again. There was a soft click as he pulled the cap off the gel.

"Do me a favor?" Leon asked.

"No, I have to do something rather unpleasant and I don't want anymore distractions."

"Well I was going to ask if you coul—" Leon tried to blurt out quickly before he was silenced into a grunt.

"Would this be a bad time to tell you your butt reminds me of marshmallows?"

"Sh-shut up, bastard…"

"God damn! Relax! You're going to break my finger off," Cloud exclaimed and there was a loud slap. Leon let out a breathy laugh in response. Roxas couldn't understand why, but he had the sudden urge to curl up into a little ball and cover his eyes in embarrassment. Axel and Demyx however, were trying their hardest to not make their boisterous laugher obvious. The pair were making small quiet squeaks under their breaths in an effort to hold it all in. "Seriously Squall, I feel like I should get a damn crowbar. You're being unreasonable," the Charge grumbled.

"And this is exactly why you're the bottom. Because if you weren't, your job would be so much easier and I can't have that," Leon said. Cloud muttered something under his breath before Leon grunted again and there was a loud screech as the exam table's legs scraped across the floor. "Don't hurt me now. I'm old, remember?"

"At least you admit it. It only took you what? Forty thousand years? I forget how old you are."

"Older than dirt, I'll tell you what."

"And yet your prostate is still so firm and supple. You _must_ tell me your secrets."

"Why? Is your sagging and wearing out? Do you need to retire?"

"Maybe later, for now though I'm content making fuzzy little hybrid children with you."

"Oh well good, because so long as mine is working you still have work to do."

"Yes yes," Cloud sighed before there was rubbery squeaking and snapping as he pulled his glove off. "You're finished," he said and there was a light patting of skin on skin.

"But you didn—"

"I'm _not_ wiping your ass for you."

"See that's what I wanted to ask before you even started. I was going to make sure you didn't get it all over me and yet you _did_. Prick," Leon grumbled. "I could just change and force you to clean it up anyway after my skin falls to the ground."

"You wouldn't…"

"Try me."

"Why are you so abusive?" Cloud sighed again and there was the sound of a metal cabinet being opened. It closed again and there was a bit of silence before Leon started to laugh a little and Cloud grumbled a bit. "Happy?"

"Oh yes."

"I could just tackle you and smack you in the face with this, you know."

"You could, but you're not going to. I have enough samples stored to hold you to three weeks of celibacy."

"You're awful."

"Only when you make me be awful."

"I don't _make_ you do anything."

"You make me do a lot of things."

"Oh yeah? Do tell, I'm quite curious."

"Well if you must know, I can show you."

"I'm waiting," Cloud said. There was a light jingle as Leon pulled his shorts up and fastened his belt before the trio at the door could hear footsteps headed in their direction. Axel and Demyx quickly ushered Roxas away and around the corner before there was the distinct sound of shades being pulled down over the windows in the lab doors.

"That's our cue to leave," Demyx whispered and they all stood and headed back to Axel's room. The redhead immediately let himself fall face first into his mattress and he started to laugh. Demyx snorted a little before he joined his friend and took a seat on the bed next to him.

"Oh my god I love those guys so damn much…" the redhead trailed. Roxas stood off to the side quietly, thinking. The pair finished their respective giggle fits and took deep breaths. Axel pushed himself up, wincing some as his skin protested against him. "You don't seem so amused," he said, looking at Roxas. "Did it really offend you that much?"

"No, I just…I don't know. I can understand why you guys thought it was funny but I guess I can't get so happy about it. I don't know why."

"Sorry we dragged you along then," the redhead said, his tone turning a little more serious.

"If it makes you feel better all the ladies have to get pelvic exams and pap smears just like we have to have our junk checked out too," Demyx offered. Roxas shook his head a little.

"That's not it. I think I'm a little…envious? I guess? I'm not sure."

"…Did you want me to check you out?" Axel asked and raised a brow at him questioningly.

"No, not that part but I guess the way they were together. Like, Cloud was doing something that wasn't exactly very fun and Leon was on the receiving end yet they still seemed so comfortable with each other. I don't know…I'm a little fascinated I guess. Am I weird?"

"I don't think so," Axel said and Demyx gave the blonde a wide smile.

"You're so cute and you don't even mean to be," the sandy blonde said and Roxas raised a brow.

"Um, okay. Thanks?"

"Oh you're quite welcome! Anyway, I need to go tell Zexion about our little adventure so I'm going to skedaddle," he said and stood before giving the pair a wave and heading out. "I'll see you guys at dinner!" he called before he was out of earshot. Axel and Roxas shared an uneasy silence for a moment.

"So how was your meeting with Ansem?" the redhead finally asked.

"Hm? Oh it was fine," the blonde said and took Demyx's seat on the bed. "Um… I decided to stay," he said quietly and glanced at Axel briefly.

"Yeah?" the redhead asked and pushed himself up all the way to sit next to him. The relief in his expression was obvious. "I'm very happy. Thank you," he said and let out a breath. "I was so worried."

"Did you really think I would just up and leave like that?"

"Well I wasn't sure, I know how much you like learning new stuff and everything I was just worried the appeal would be too much. Was there not a way for you to do both?"

"After I considered everything, I agreed that it was really unrealistic. Not only that but I would be deviating from the original purpose of coming here which is for me to help you. Plus, I still haven't learned everything from you. Not even anywhere remotely close to everything. Perhaps if I had been here for fifty years or whatever and I was offered to be a Technician, I would've probably considered it more. But right now? I haven't learned enough to leave yet."

"I feel like I should hug you. You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that," Axel said with a grin. Roxas gave him a skeptical look.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Why wouldn't it?"

"I don't know, I can never tell what you're thinking."

"I can agree with that. It took me many years to gain my current level of patience and not wear my emotions on my sleeve. Sorry if I'm a little confusing, but that's what I learned to become. You'll just have to believe me when I say I'm thrilled."

"Thrilled because you don't have to find another Charge or because you would've missed me?" the blonde asked quietly and pushed Axel's carpeting around with his foot. The string of conversation was heading off into territory he wasn't quite sure he was ready to traverse but he had been overly curious since the redhead wouldn't give him a definitive answer before.

"Of course I would've missed you. Do I really come off as that heartless?"

"No, but I haven't exactly been the best guy to be around…"

"Yeah so? I paid more attention to the parts in between when you weren't a complete asshole. That's what 'getting along' means, right? Paying attention to the good things and setting aside the things that aren't?"

"Oh," he deadpanned. "I guess I wasn't paying enough attention then. I've been focusing on the negatives."

"I don't blame you really. A lot has happened since you came here. You could've given up a long time ago and shut down completely, possibly committed suicide, but you didn't. That alone speaks volumes of your maturity, regardless of how you handled things outwardly. At least on the inside, you stayed on track."

"I never thought about it like that." The conversation ground to a halt and they shared another uncomfortable silence. Roxas continued to focus on pushing the fibers of Axel's flooring around but the redhead's attention was on the blonde. After a few minutes, Roxas glanced at the redhead and noticed his staring; Axel blinked and looked away immediately. "So uh…"

"Hm?"

"How's your back?"

"Crunchy."

"Okay yuck. That's not exactly what I was expecting."

"Oh I'm just full of surprises today aren't I?" Axel said and grinned a little. Roxas shrugged some.

"I suppose so. Can I see?"

"You say 'yuck' and then ask me to show you?"

"Disgusting things tend to be the most interesting."

"I see," the redhead said thoughtfully and shifted around so his back was to the blonde before lifting his t-shirt. The gashes were still there, but they looked considerably better. Roxas was a little confused. They seemed to be healing a little _too_ quickly.

"Do Carriers heal faster than humans or something or did you do something to yourself? They look way better."

"Synthetic skin takes a long time to regenerate and heal, but Ansem gave me a skin graft to help things along. No, Carriers actually heal much slower than humans. Especially if there are internal wounds."

"I see. Well that's good that Ansem was able to help you then."

"I considered not getting the skin graft and letting myself heal naturally. Then I remembered how angsty and stupid that was and I reconsidered," the redhead said with a light laugh. "It still doesn't make what I did any better though."

"Don't start with that again."

"I know. I'm not."

"Okay good. I'm ready to forget it and move forward. I'll deal with your Primal form when I have to. But for now, I'm done."

"Fair enough," Axel said and gave the blonde a smile. Roxas' cheeks turned a little pink but he managed to smile back. Axel shifted around so he was facing him again and made a thoughtful face. "Since you so generously decided to stay, when did you want to start working again? Are you feeling better and stuff?"

"I'm fine, and we can start whenever."

"Fantastic! I like your work ethic, my young friend. Let's go," the redhead said happily and stood. Roxas followed his motion but before they could get through the door, Axel suddenly turned again and the blonde yelped as he was squashed into the Carrier's chest. Axel held him close for a moment and heaved a heavy sigh before releasing him and Roxas blinked confusedly at him, heart racing.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"I told you I felt like I should hug you, and I did. Sorry, didn't mean to spring that on you," Axel said through a wide smile and he disappeared around the doorframe leaving Roxas to his tingling skin.

* * *

Axel was happy. Happy that Roxas wasn't leaving and that they could finally focus on their project without any tentative interruptions. Every time he moved though, his back protested and he was reminded of just how close he came to ending everything. It was a humbling reminder, one he couldn't ignore, and though he put on a happy face and pretended everything was alright, he was really hurting inside. The severe amount of guilt that sat on his shoulders was staggering and over the course of the last week, he hadn't gotten very much sleep because of it. Roxas' recovery helped a little, but the issue still remained. He doubted that when the time came again, the blonde wouldn't be able to function properly around his Primal form even though he insisted he would be okay. Axel was skeptical.

His mind reeled as he tried to figure out what he could do to make amends with not only himself, but Roxas as well. The blonde wouldn't tell him what he wanted and was refusing a proper apology so he wasn't left with many options. The only thing Axel knew for certain was that he wouldn't be able to feel better about the entire scenario until he felt he had repaid the blonde in full. The only person he thought of that could help him with his dilemma was Sora and he set out to find him after he and Roxas had finished their work for the day. As it turns out, the brunette Charge liked to play around with Riku on the obstacle course whenever the Carrier was in his Primal form. Axel stepped outside and raised a brow at the pair who were perched on top of one of the rock outcroppings. Sora had his nose to his tablet and was reading while he relaxed back with his head resting on Riku's fuzzy stomach. The Carrier's tail had come up and around was curled over the Charge's forehead. The redhead was immediately envious of their comfortable relationship.

"Hey…Sora?" Axel asked when he approached them. The brunette finished reading his sentence and quirked a brow at him in response. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, hang on," the brunette said and set his tablet aside and took his earpiece off before awkwardly climbing off of the rock. They walked together for a minute before they were out of Riku's immediate earshot. "What's up?"

"Okay, so this may be a little weird but I want Roxas advice."

"…Okaaay."

"Um…I feel really terrible about what I put him through and he won't tell me anything that I can do to make it up to him. He insists it isn't my fault just like everyone else does and I can't accept that."

"Neither can I honestly. But I'm looking past it because Roxas doesn't blame you," the brunette added flatly. "But, I'm not completely versed in Carrier ways yet so I can't help but go off of my own emotions. You attacked my brother. I don't like that."

"Understandable. What can I do for him?"

"I have no idea. None of the stuff he liked to do is available here as far as I know, so I can't exactly tell you to take him out anywhere or do anything. I do know a few other things though…" he trailed and gave the redhead a sly smirk. Axel raised a suspicious brow.

"Other things?"

"I'm not sure I should say anything. You might give him a heart attack."

"Oh. Well I don't necessarily want to do that."

"Well let me ask you, do you want him?"

"Want him?"

"Like want him, want him."

"Like… relationship want him?"

"Yeah."

"Well if he's willing to pursue that I won't deny him, but I get very little indication that he's interested. I catch him staring at me every now and again but he's never made any outward motions towards that sort of thing."

"He's very shy about it. But he hasn't told me he _doesn't_ want it. He's scared more than anything else but if you can break through, that'd be something you can give him."

"I never considered it as an option before. He's actually told you he wants to be with me though?"

"In a very roundabout and Roxas-like way, yes."

"Huh…" the redhead huffed and pondered the proposition. He crossed his arms and furrowed his brows. "You're serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm not telling you this for you; I'm telling you this for Roxas. I would like him to be happy and possibly loosen up a little and if _you_ make him do that then whatever. At this point, I honestly don't understand why he stuck around but I'm happy he decided to. As much as I may be skeptical of you I can't help but think he stayed because of you, even after what happened."

"I see…"

"If you're going to go through with this though, you better not go in it half-assed otherwise I will personally see to it you never walk straight again," the brunette said sternly and gave the redhead a glare. Axel wasn't threatened in the least but he was impressed with the bond they obviously shared. "He may be my older brother but he's completely stupid when it comes to this stuff. Like… he really is."

"I seem to remember he and Hayner having a terrible relationship up until they got into middle school together. Theirs was never anything more than friendship though and I can only imagine what kind of hellfire would've rained down if they had ever pursued a relationship together," Axel said and gave Sora a smirk.

"Totally. Anyway, is that all you wanted?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Whatever. I have studying to do if you'll excuse me," he deflected and turned on his heel quickly. Axel watched him go with his mind brimming with new thought processes. Sora immediately pulled himself back on the rock with Riku and resumed his position, the Carrier's tail curling around under the brunette's chin comfortably.

With his arms crossed still and a thoughtful look on his face, the redhead meandered his way back into the building. He was tempted to burst into Roxas' room and sweep the unsuspecting blonde off his feet but he thought that'd be a little too forward and would probably end up in the aforementioned heart attack on the blonde's end. No, subtlety was the name of the game with this one and yet again Axel was faced with something Roxas related that demanded a lot of patience when he had little to spare. As he continued to weigh his options of pursuing the proposal, his mind drifted off to his previous mindset of 'why me?'

He sort of agreed with Sora when the brunette had said that he didn't understand why Roxas wanted to stay after everything that happened. The blonde had explained his reasoning and Axel wasn't about to call him a liar but it still didn't seem like the entire story. Perhaps Sora was right and Roxas had stayed because of the redhead as well as all the other things he had said. He did seem genuinely concerned that Axel didn't like him, after all. Even with that mild epiphany, Axel was still a little bit skeptical. He made his way into his bedroom quickly and plopped himself behind his Catalogue terminal. He plugged himself in, and with swift fingers, was able to pull up Roxas' archive of videos he had taken during the course of the blonde's life. Specifically, the time with his girlfriends.

Axel had some research to do. He had studied Roxas for twenty years in an effort to understand his way of life and integrate himself accordingly in order to make contact but never before had he used this resource as a tool to gain access into deeper things. He would have to comb through the bullshit shields Roxas put up around himself and pick out the subtle details of his life in order to fully understand and move forward with any chance of success. He had the added bonus of over sixty years of research on human behavior to fall back on as well if he needed additional answers. Yes, he was prepared to a certain degree but he had never had to put his studies to practice before on someone who would be so close to him all the time.

He sighed. He wasn't even sure he wanted this himself. Of course, having a deep connection with his Charge would make his job a whole lot easier but even then, was he really doing this because he wanted Roxas or was he doing this because he felt obligated? Probably a little of both. Sitting around by himself for almost ninety years wasn't exactly the most exciting thing he had ever done and he would love some companionship but was it just the companionship or was it Roxas? He couldn't decide. Even then, if they did pursue something together would Roxas be able to accept all of him? Or just his human side? It would never work if the blonde was traumatized away from his Primal side simply because it was a necessity attached to Axel. Can't have one without the other, as much as the redhead hated to admit it.

"What am I doing?" the redhead whispered to himself and leaned back as far as he could in his seat. He took a deep breath to calm his tired frazzled nerves and stared up at his ceiling for a long moment before his eyes fell back down to the terminal screen in front of him. He stared at the machine for another long moment before he sighed again and exited out of the archive and disconnected his Link.

He'd think about it tomorrow.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Roxas had one irrational fear. It was the kind of fear that no matter how old he got, he could never get over. He was never really embarrassed about it until it was in his face in this new world. Some people hate heights, some people hate bees, some people hate water. The blonde never considered his particular fear to be a problem in the new world simply because in the beginning the dome made it seem like the weather wasn't going to be an issue. He was wrong.

Roxas hated thunderstorms. He couldn't even figure out if it was actually raining outside of the dome but all he cared to know was that there was lightning and it was _loud_. Incredibly loud. The shape of the dome amplified things so much it shook the windows whenever a rumble of thunder would go by. He was jostled out of a dead sleep because of it and immediately his blood ran cold. The best part about being older with this fear was that he could sit and rationalize things and calm himself some. He could calm down enough to get out of his room and try to find Sora. Sora understood his fear. Likewise he understood Sora's fear of mosquitoes. The only problem he faced was when he actually got to the brunette's bedroom door and pressed and ear to it.

There was giggling and pleasurable sighing coming from the other side and Roxas' eyes widened some. After a moment of recognition he could hear another voice join the brunette's and then a lustful ' _Riku…_ ' come from his brother. The blonde backed away immediately and blinked at the door like it had just burned him. Sora and Riku were…he didn't want to think about it. It wasn't that he was disgusted by his younger brother having intercourse; but the simple fact that he was getting some and Roxas wasn't was what was making the blonde feel flustered and a little envious. He glared at the door for a moment, cursing it for letting things happen so quickly for Sora. Then logic set in for the blonde and told him he was being petty. He sighed. He then nearly jumped a mile when another rumble of thunder rolled overhead. Once it settled, he took another breath and headed back to his own bedroom.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked when Roxas only had his door partly open. The blonde yelled in surprise and the door flew inward the rest of the way to reveal Axel sitting on his bed calmly.

"Don't do that! God!" the blonde gasped and held his chest. "What are you doing in here?" he asked angrily, glaring at the redhead.

"I came to check on you."

"Why?"

"Because of the dust storm. It sounds like a thunderstorm doesn't it?"

"…Painfully so."

"Exactly, and that's why I came to check on you. When I got here you were gone, so I waited," the redhead said and gave him a smile. Roxas grumbled under his breath and moved into his room fully to shove himself under the blankets grumpily. "So I'll ask again, are you okay?"

"Just fine," the blonde lied.

"You don't look 'just fine'; I bet you were out looking for Sora. Is he not available to comfort you?"

"…No. He and Riku are busy."

"Oh. Well that's good for them I suppose," the redhead said idly, picking at a thread on the comforter. A flash of lightning illuminated the room for a brief moment and Roxas pulled the covers over his face tightly. When the accompanying drum of thunder rolled overhead, he mashed a pillow onto himself for good measure. "I've never seen you react to a storm like this without Sora around," Axel added and watched the blonde curiously.

"Mmmhhffmm…" Roxas mumbled back through the pillow. The redhead didn't need to understand what he actually said to know that the blonde was not happy with his insecurity. Thunderstorms didn't frequent Radiant Garden very often. It rained a lot, but hardly ever a storm to this magnitude. As a result, Sora was usually around for them whenever Roxas needed some comforting. Without asking or waiting for an invitation, Axel stood and shoved his hands under the comforter. He pushed Roxas across the sheets easily and slipped in with him. The blonde was up in an instant, giving him an uneasy gaze.

"Problem?" Axel asked curiously.

"You're in my bed," Roxas said.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Why?"

"To comfort you? I'm trying to stick to my original purpose for coming here," he said and held the covers open next to him for the blonde. "Come on now."

"I'm tempted to tell you to fuck off."

"Only tempted?"

"My fear is outweighing my need to be an asshole."

"Well I guess that's an okay way to think about it. You're not going to be able to sleep if you don't submit though. This storm is supposed to last a while."

"Where do you get the weather report around here?"

"If it's going to be really bad, the Catalogue tells us."

"Oh. Well thanks for the advanced warning," Roxas grumbled. Axel shrugged and lowered the covers. He stretched and shifted around onto his stomach, pulling a pillow to his face and closing his eyes. "What do you think you're doing?" the blonde asked, sounding irritated.

"Going to sleep?"

"In my bed?"

"Yes."

"What's wrong with your bed?"

"It's not here."

"Well go to it."

"Don't want to," the redhead said defiantly and yawned. He snuggled his face deeper into the fabric and sighed contentedly.

"And why not?"

"Because I don't."

"Fine, I'll sleep in your bed then," the blonde huffed and pushed himself out of the covers.

"Good luck getting the door unlocked," Axel said, hiding his wicked smile in the pillow. Roxas froze and glared at him. The redhead's face dropped to convey one of pure innocence and he gave the blonde wide doe eyes. Roxas' glare narrowed further.

"Key," he spat.

"No thanks. Already have one."

"Give me your key or get out of my bed."

"Why are you so troubled? I was just coming to protect you from the invisible beasties that plague you. That's what I'm supposed to do remember? Protect you?"

"I'm _fine_."

"If you were fine, you wouldn't be awake right now and we wouldn't be having this discussion."

"…Fuck you."

"Not on the first date."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because I am the Carrier to your Charge and I care. That's why," the redhead said simply and waited for a response. Roxas was having a mild crisis. He couldn't decide what to do. He wanted comfort but he wasn't prepared to ask it from Axel. He had to weigh his options. Should he follow his natural and irrational fear of thunderstorms and take Axel up on his offer? Or should he deny himself further and toss the redhead out, then have to deal with the storm by himself? He sighed as a headache started to creep its way in. He looked at the door, then the bed, then the door, then the bed again.

"Don't try anything funny…" the blonde grumbled and shoved himself back under the covers.

* * *

"How'd it go?" Riku asked the next morning. Axel shrugged and shoved another cube of beef into his mouth.

"He was defiant but I won in the end. I owe you one," the redhead said. Riku waved a hand at him.

"No no, I had more than my fair share. You don't owe me anything."

"Ah. I'll take your word for it. You didn't kill him did you?"

"No but he'll probably be sleeping for most of the day," Riku added casually. Axel smirked. "When's the next storm supposed to be?"

"The Catalogue says in a couple weeks though it is the season for them so it may be sooner. Hopefully I won't need your assistance by then though."

"Well don't push it."

* * *

Roxas' eyes peeled open slowly and he was greeted by a face full of sunlight. He groaned against the glare and groped around for a pillow to shove over his eyes. He blinked a few times into the fabric before remembering the night before. He sat up and looked around. Axel was gone. The redhead had behaved himself and didn't try anything inappropriate with him, which Roxas was thankful for but it was still a little unsettling that he would up and leave without so much as a goodbye. He pushed himself across the bed and took his watch from the side table and poked at it until the device surrendered the time.

It was after lunchtime. No wonder Axel had left already. Throughout the night, Roxas had slept on and off. Every time he did wake and shift around uncomfortably Axel was right there to put a hand on his arm and remind him that he wasn't completely alone. It was just enough to get him to sleep again and he would have to remember to thank the redhead later. The blonde yawned and debated going back to sleep. Axel had promised to teach him how to use a couple of the machines in the lab that week but he supposed they had time if he wanted to snooze a little longer. He watched the pillows longingly for a moment before rationality set in and he remembered he had responsibilities. He couldn't keep Axel waiting forever, lest he make him angry.

After the usual hygiene routine he did every morning, he set out for some food. To his surprise, Sora was just then pulling himself out of bed and into the hallway for the same purpose. The brunette yawned and waved to the blonde before they silently started down the hallway together towards the cafeteria. Sora was still in his pajamas and rubbing his eyes constantly to force himself to alertness.

"So uh… how about that storm?" Roxas asked, casting a sideways glance at Sora.

"There was a storm last night?" the brunette replied sleepily.

"Yeah, a really loud one."

"Did you handle it okay?"

"Well not at first."

"Oh. Did you not try to find me?"

"Well I did…and then I heard…things," he said and raised a brow. Sora's eyes widened and his face slowly turned to meet his brother's. His cheeks immediately turned four shades darker. Roxas snorted at him and started to laugh. "That was priceless. Do it again."

"…No," the brunette huffed and held his face in his hands. The blonde continued to snicker at him as Sora rubbed his face tiredly. He groaned in embarrassment. "Sorry…" he trailed.

"You don't have to be."

"Yeah well, now I feel completely awkward."

"That's how it works, yeah. I'm just your brother. Could you imagine if I was _mom_?"

"Oh god, stop!" Sora cried and punched the blonde in the shoulder. Roxas continued to laugh all the way through the food line. They sat together and the blonde gave his brother a knowing smirk through the entire meal. At one point, the brunette became fed up with the silent teasing and threw a few pieces of miscellaneous foodstuffs at him but Roxas blew it off and continued his onslaught. "Stop it Roxas," Sora huffed.

"What? I'm not doing anything."

"Stop making that face…"

"What face?" the blonde remarked and gave his brother an angelic expression.

"I hate you sometimes you know that?" the brunette grumbled and gave him a glare.

"Yeah, but that's normal."

"I don't see why you have to tease me."

"Because I'm your older brother that's why. I could be demoted if I didn't fill my job description properly. Or even worse, fired."

"Oh of course no one would want _that_ ," he muttered sarcastically. "It's not a big deal."

"You're right, it isn't."

"Then stop with the awkward looks."

"But _oh, Riku!_ " the blonde moaned teasingly and laid his face on the table and stuck his tongue out a little.

"Stop!" Sora exclaimed and swung his foot around, kicking Roxas in the shin under the table. Not having any shoes on made the motion more painful on the brunette's side than the blonde's side and only succeeded in making the older sibling laugh. "Damn it Roxas!" he cried and blushed, biting his lip nervously. He shrunk into his seat some and glared at the table, waiting for his brother to stop. Roxas eventually calmed and sat up again, wiping at his eyes with a smug smile.

"Welcome to having a sex life, Sora."

"Fuck off and die," the brunette growled.

"I'll send you a gift basket later, but right now I have to get to work."

* * *

Roxas blinked confusedly. He had only been eating with Sora for less than an hour but when he came back to his room to fetch his tablet, it was different. Not only had things been picked up and put in their proper places, he had new bedding again. Not completely new, but mostly new. His sheets were still orange but his comforter was black and his pillow cases were orange now, too. The two Tigger plushes were situated neatly in the middle of the bed facing the door in addition to a new, even bigger one flanking them on the left. He stepped into the room and looked around. He could see into his bathroom and noticed he now had the luxury of orange bath mats as well as a new tiger striped shower curtain.

Either Axel was turning into Martha Stewart on tiger steroids or the redhead had some ulterior motive for all this. Roxas was immediately suspicious and he went to his armoire and pulled it open. His dirty clothes were gone and he furrowed his brows. He didn't mind the cleaning so much but it was a little unsettling to walk into his bedroom and have things changed around. He knew he had locked his door before he left for food. Axel must have a key and the blonde didn't know if he liked that. After all, he didn't have a key to Axel's room. He quickly looked around for his tablet, found it, and stalked off towards the lab.

Axel wasn't in the lab. Roxas sighed. He still didn't know where the laundry facilities were and he grumbled at his ineptitude. He shoved himself through the doors into the hallway again and made his way towards Riku's lab. Riku wasn't in his lab either. The blonde glared at the doors like they had committed a mortal sin. He racked his brain trying to think of where they could've gone off to. He didn't really want to bother Cloud and Leon, and he could hardly remember where Demyx and Zexion's lab was. He set out for it anyway, and after twenty minutes of getting lost, he finally stumbled on it.

"I'm really happy for your guys," Axel said calmly. The redhead, Riku, Demyx and Zexion were standing around in the lab in front of a large tube that looked very much like the one of the stasis chambers. Roxas raised a brow and approached them.

"Hey," he said, his previous annoyance of getting lost and not being able to find anyone dripping away in favor of some manners. The group turned to him and there were a lot of smiles, the biggest of which belonged to Demyx who launched himself at Roxas and squeezed the blonde to his chest.

"Roxas!" the sandy blonde cried happily. "Come look!" he urged and shoved the Charge to the tube. Roxas blinked at it. There wasn't anything significant that he could see. It was filled with liquid so there was probably something inside but he couldn't understand.

"What am I looking for?" he asked. Demyx's hand came around into his line of vision and his index finger curled around into the space next to his thumb, making a circle the size of a popcorn seed.

"Teeny tiny glob about that big," he said. Roxas blinked a few more times and squinted at the tube. Demyx helped him out and grabbed onto the sides of his face and directed his vision around.

"Oh! I see it now," the blonde said and the Carrier happily patted his hair. There was a little peach colored speck floating in the liquid.

"That's my new baby sister!"

"Wh—really?"

"Yeah!"

"Demyx and Zexion have been having issues for the last few years and have finally gotten an embryo to survive," Riku said. "So far so good."

"Whoa so that's going to be a Carrier?" the blonde asked, looking at the silveret. Riku nodded.

"Isn't it exciting!" Demyx twittered and scampered off to hug on Zexion. "Just think, in twenty years or so, there will be five of my kind!"

"Twenty years?" Roxas asked, and raised a brow.

"Sometimes more, sometimes less. But we're banking on twenty granted nothing happens to her and she doesn't grow all funny," the sandy blonde said. Roxas turned his attention back to the peachy speck. He never realized how long these processes take. He knew that the Carriers weren't 'born' and had childhoods like normal humans but he never realized that it would literally take a lifetime in order to make one. He had the idea that they were grown in a certain amount of time but came out looking like they were much older. Then again, Axel had told him that his gestational age plus his actual life age would put him over a hundred years old so it made some sense.

"I'm a little confused. Like, I know you have to grow like everyone else does but I never really fully understood that you guys grew from embryos just like everyone else," Roxas said.

"Remember my Nicholas Cage and Brad Pitt scenario from your Genetics class? I mentioned then that by the time we were splicing together same sex offspring they would've created a synthetic egg for it to sit in as well as a nice tube or for it to grow in? I didn't make that up, Roxas. That's what's happening," Axel said and pointed to the tube. "All Carriers start out human and are later transplanted into their Carrier bodies. When we get to that point in our project I can explain more since a lot of it has to be visually done to fully understand, but for now you're aware of how it all starts."

"So…how often do you guys make these then?"

"It depends on the Totem, and the samples given and the amount of work put in but we usually get a zygote every week or so," Demyx said. "The mortality rate is high at that stage and we have a hard time getting things to stick. Half of our blastocysts usually die, and then half of the embryos that come from them die. A lot of the fetuses usually die a well and very rarely do we get one that survives to be considered a baby. If we're lucky to get to that point, the babies sometimes die in the transfer process to their Carrier bodies and then if there are any deformities later on in the development we have to abort them. Cloud and Leon actually had to abort a toddler at one point because it turns out that the Carrier body wasn't developing properly and the lungs and heart had fused together."

"Holy shit. That's awful."

"I know…" the sandy blonde trailed and looked at the floor. "Trial and error is not the happiest way of doing things but we have no other way of doing it. If we can get them to be children, we're usually pretty much in the clear but that takes several years of waiting for it to develop."

"Even still, the progress you guys have managed to get with this one is great. You guys haven't had a stable embryo in years," Riku said. Zexion and Demyx smiled.

"Thanks guys," Demyx said.

"So if it takes twenty years to mature one Carrier, how did Leon and Cloud manage to get eleven in only a hundred and forty years?" Roxas asked curiously.

"They're considered successes because of the short amount of time it took them. They had several Carriers going at once for a long time before they had enough and were able to stop and focus on cubs," Axel said. "The Committee was so thrilled once they were able to birth their first cub that they were given a house in the city to live in."

"Whoa, Leon and Cloud have a house?"

"Yes. Didn't you ever notice that you never see them in their pajama's here? They come here for work and to use the field and things but they don't sleep here. They choose to eat here most days but sometimes they don't. Their sisters have an enclosure that Leon sometimes spends the night in if he wants to be with the family, because they have cubs to watch, but normally he stays with Cloud."

"Huh… it never occurred to me," the blonde said curiously. "Is that what everyone here is shooting for then? A bunch of cubs and a house?"

"The house is an added bonus but the main priorities are the kittens," Zexion said. "Cubs, kittens, puppies, kits, all the Carriers want those."

"I think the wolf puppies are fucking adorable even if their dads tend to be assholes," Demyx added.

"It's been a while since we've gone over and dicked with Xigbar and his brothers maybe we should make a date," Axel said and gave the sandy blonde a crooked smile.

"I wouldn't recommend that," Riku said.

"Aw, you're no fun," the redhead pouted.

"Seriously!" Demyx agreed and added to the pout.

"I'm out of the loop," Roxas said. "What did you guys do?"

"They went over to the canine facility and tried to take some of the gray wolf puppies from their families and hide them," Zexion said. "It was a little over eight years ago, and they still don't like us for it."

"We weren't hurting them!" Demyx insisted.

"Xigbar didn't think so," the Charge said.

"Because he can't take a joke," Axel added.

"I can understand why it would be a little distressing though. I can't imagine one minute you're frolicking happily with the kids and then another minute a tiger has one by the neck and his carting it off," Riku said.

"Gently! I wasn't trying to eat the damn thing!" the redhead insisted. Roxas raised a brow at him. "Demyx was the one giving them whiplash with running so fast."

"I was not!" the sandy blonde protested. "The little male one peed on me though. He would've totally deserved it."

"That's what you get for kidnapping," Riku said and waved a hand dismissively.

"It was still funny," Axel said and crossed his arms defiantly.

"The only problem with doing that now is that most of those puppies are probably grown," the sandy blonde said. "Or maybe at this point they were taken to their ecosystem domes. There were probably enough to form a pack back then."

"I think so," the redhead agreed. "In which case there would be a whole new group to pester now."

"Don't even think about it," Roxas said and gave him a glare.

"Ah yes, that's right. I don't have to turn to debauchery to entertain myself anymore. I can actually get some work done now because you're here," Axel said and gave the blonde a wink. Demyx snickered.

"Didn't stop me from shirking my responsibilities," the sandy blonde said and Zexion elbowed the Carrier in the ribs. Demyx grunted. "Now now, no domestic violence in front of the baby," he chided and Zexion rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Ah well. Speaking of work, since Roxas decided to wake up finally I think we should probably get to it, yes?" the redhead said.

"Sorry about that," the blonde said.

"Is Sora awake yet?" Riku asked. Roxas immediately snorted and started to laugh.

"Oh yeah, he's awake," he said and the Carrier raised a brow. "He's not very happy with me though so watch out. He might be a little testy."

"Oh really? Well thank you for making my job harder then," Riku said and gave the blonde a smirk. Axel draped an arm around Riku's shoulders and pointed towards the doors.

"To the lab!" he cried.

* * *

"So Carriers start out as human babies, and are transferred to their Carrier bodies after nine months? But cubs and kittens are born naturally from their Carrier mothers?"

"Right," Axel agreed and tilted his chair back.

"Like…the human form ladies have a litter like a cat would?"

"Yep."

"That's really freaky," Roxas said.

"For you maybe."

"Yes, for me."

"There are procedures where humans who wanted to have sex changes have been fully functional afterward. Like, the men have a synthetic womb implanted into them and they have a working vagina and everything else involved with that. The women have a working set of testicles and they can in fact make children that way. It gets really weird though when those kinds of people keep their original genitalia along with the new ones so they have both sexes at once. That sounds weirder to me than a woman having kittens."

"What?" the blonde sputtered. "Who does that?"

"Weird people."

"How do they even have enough space in themselves for all those extra organs?"

"They forego a few feet of intestines sometimes, or they live with distended abdomens."

"Oh god, that's just terrible," the blonde said and furrowed his brows together. His stomach twisted some and he glared at the table. Axel shrugged.

"A lot of weird things happen here that would've never even have been thought of in Radiant Garden, Roxas. It's just the culture."

"And yet the people accept the ones with both sexes but can't accept the Carriers?"

"Sometimes, but not usually."

"I can't even imagine…" Roxas trailed. They had been sitting together in the lab for a little while, being distracted by the random strings of conversation one or the other would come up with. Apparently this was turning into a very unproductive day since neither of them had done much of anything serious and it was nearly dinner time. There was a brief moment of silence before Axel sighed wistfully and looked up at the ceiling. "Something wrong?" the blonde asked.

"Not really, it's nothing I can fix right away."

"What do you mean?"

"I was just thinking about Demyx and Zexion's little peanut floating around in the gestational chamber."

"Oh…maternal instinct kicking in or something?" the blonde asked and raised a brow. Axel laughed.

"I guess, but like I said I can't fix it right away so I'm not going to let it bother me."

"True, but we haven't actually done anything today in an effort to change it."

"Yeah well… I haven't had a day off in a few years so I figure this is fine. I should probably go get your laundry though, I forgot about it."

"About that, why do you feel the need to pick up after me and change my room around?"

"I've always been told I was supposed to do things for my Charge. You never give me any indication that you need anything else so I do what I can figure out. You live in a total sty, my blonde friend."

"I'm twenty; I'm not supposed to care about my laundry being all over the floor."

"I suppose I'm just old then. Does it bother you?"

"Not really. I just think the black and orange is a little redundant don't you?"

"Can't blame a guy for liking what he likes."

"I guess. Your obsession with Tigger is a little creepy though."

"He's the only one that can relate to me anymore," the redhead said and gave the blonde a grin. Roxas considered that motion and shrugged before nodding a little.

"I can agree with that." They shared an uneasy silence for a moment before the blonde remembered something else. "Oh, um. Thanks, by the way for helping me out last night," he said quietly and blushed a little at his immaturity.

"No problem. I wanted to."

"You did? Like, for serious?"

"For serious. Awesome grammar by the way," the redhead quipped with a grin. Roxas shrugged and gave him a smirk. The air between them was comfortable, and the blonde was surprising himself by not having a panic attack.

"Well…why? I mean I know you told me you cared but why care in the first place? Obligation?"

"Contrary to popular belief, I do actually like you when you're not being a dick. Those particular episodes have thankfully been becoming less frequent and thus I'm starting to like you more and can actually give two shits when you're having a problem."

"Oh. You've thought about this."

"Maybe a little. What about you? Do you like me at all?"

"Well… yeah. I do…" the blonde trailed and focused on the table, his cheeks turning a light pink when he recalled how _much_ he liked redhead. Axel noticed the sudden change of demeanor and raised a brow, taking in as much data he could before cracking a smile.

"Good. Because if you didn't it would make having kids together _really_ awkward."

"Yeah I still can't get used to that idea."

"It's a really strange relationship, I'll give you that. With any luck though we'll be there soon, but probably not for a few years at the very least."

"Okay. Demyx said that they get a zygote every week? Have you had any luck with that?"

"Well I've been focusing my work in a lot of different areas since you've come here and yes I've gotten two since we started but nothing came of them. I've been mostly preoccupied with you though, so I'm sorry I don't have much else to report."

"Oh…well I'm not angry or anything. If I had to say I felt anything, I would probably say I'm feeling more guilt than anything else. I've been a roadblock more than I've been helpful."

"I'll agree with you there, but it's alright. We didn't go through the motions like everyone else so I forgive you. In reality we probably shouldn't have sat around all day today and did nothing but… oh well."

"Yeah. So how do these babies work exactly? Do you go through and pick out what they look like and everything and who's personality they have?"

"Yep. Designer babies at their finest."

"Huh. But since they're Carriers they won't have hair or eye colors?"

"Right. Why were you hoping for a bunch of little blue eyed blondes running around?"

"I was just curious. I don't know these things."

"Well they won't have my colors, that's for sure. I lack the traits that carry hair and eye color. I can guarantee, however that the first one will be female."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. Does that mean one of us has to have sex with her?" the blonde asked with a worried face. He didn't really like the idea of incest. Axel laughed.

"Why, would you be jealous?"

"What? No! I'm just more concerned with having sex with a daughter."

"No, we're not having sex with her. Especially you because that would result in human children and that's not the point of this little shindig. At least if I were to lay with her there would be a fifty percent chance of a cub. But no, her eggs will go through the same treatment as our sperm and we'll make another Carrier from her. We need at least ten before we can focus on cubs, so it's going to be a while yet."

"Oh…ten including you or ten in addition to you?"

"In addition. Eleven total."

"I see. Once we get to those numbers though do they all have to have their genetic material spliced to make cubs or will they just have a giant orgy and hope for the best?"

"What is with you and having sex? No, we take Totem DNA and make a zygote of a cub and implant it into a mother."

"I'm not obsessed with sex! I'm just wondering how this all works," the blonde insisted.

"Well you sure _sound_ interested in sex."

"I'm twenty."

"Point taken."

"Don't you ever think about it? You're forty zillion years old but I'm sure you're right up there with even the horniest of teenagers some days," the blonde said, though he couldn't believe he had. "And if sex isn't important to make cubs why even bother with it in the first place?"

"Well first off sex has a more important function for us and that is to bond with our Charges. If you notice, none of the Carriers have a romantic interest outside of their Charge. They have friends, form little communities amongst their kind, but they never have sex with one another. It's not exactly forbidden but it's a little taboo."

"Aren't the female Carriers concerned about getting pregnant then?"

"Condoms never fall out of style, Roxas. There have been a few very successful female Carriers that start families with their Charges after they've been moved out of the facilities and into their homes and such. It's not unheard of."

"So if Carriers don't hook up with other Carriers, does that mean you've never had a girlfriend or anything like that?"

"That's correct."

"Wow, a little backed up?" the blonde asked abruptly and slapped a hand over his mouth, shocked he had the gall to ask such a thing. Axel quirked a brow.

"I give me samples just like you do, thank you very much. Why? Are you offering to help me with my virginity?"

"Damn, and I thought my forty-five year old uncle was a little sad for being a virgin."

"Thanks. Thanks a ton, Roxas. Kick me while I'm down, why don't you?" Axel grumbled and gave the blonde a sideways glare.

"Sorry, I'm just… wow. That's awful."

"Well, if I was allowed to have anyone before I found my Charge, I would have believe me."

"Wait so you weren't _allowed_ to have anyone? Like…if you wanted to date Yuffie, you wouldn't be allowed to?"

"No. Not only does society frown upon it but my sperm are literally too expensive to waste on anyone else. I'm not allowed to have human children until I fulfill my role so why would I bed with anyone else?"

"Who are the authority figures that make up such awful laws for you all?"

"The Technicians."

"And how exactly would they find out if you were sleeping around?"

"When we submit a sample," Axel started and pointed to one of the machines in the back of the lab, "that thing back there does an automated sperm count. If my levels were to drop suddenly before I found you, it would mean I was having sex with someone on a regular basis, like people tend to do in a steady relationship. If you weren't here, then they would assume I was 'wasting' it and come investigate. Now that you are here though, I could technically go off and sleep with someone if I cared to and they would assume it was my Charge and wouldn't care."

"Oh…well is there someone you wanted before I came here?"

"Not really. I've had the opportunity to sleep with several people, actually. They all turned out to be human fetishists that thought sleeping with a Carrier was 'new and exotic' so I didn't bother. In reality it doesn't even matter because all the people I hang around with are only interested in their Charges that way so it was pretty much non existent otherwise. I could go off and find someone I'm sure, but at this point in my life I've completely lost interest in anyone else."

"Oh," was all the blonde could think to say. His brain was stuck on the 'anyone else' part and he couldn't think much past one syllable sounds. He had some new information to process and he tried to force himself to think a little more clearly about it. Another awkward moment passed.

"Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Let's get some dinner," the redhead said abruptly. Roxas nodded numbly and watched him stand and move towards the door before jolting himself to attention and forcing his feet to move after him. As they walked, the realization sunk in for the blonde and he watched the floor tiles move past them.

Axel was interested in him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Roxas shivered. His teeth chattered and his skin was shaking uncontrollably but yet he forced himself under the shower head to calm his nerves and to put out the flames that were tickling him under his muscles. It was four thirty in the morning and he had just had another erotic dream that he could hardly remember. It was the third time that week he had woken up and had the insatiable urge to masturbate but by this point, he was tired of it and forced himself to stop. He remembered the first time it had happened when it had actually resulted in a wet dream but they had stopped before suddenly starting again with a vengeance. Before he could give himself hypothermia, he turned on the warm water, grumbling to himself as his needy appendage refused to go down.

He laughed bitterly at himself as he sat on the tiled floor, watching the water swirl down the drain. He wondered if it would be horribly crude of him if he were to wander into Axel's room and demanded he present his virginity to him. It probably was. Then again if the redhead was so eager to please him, he might just actually submit. The blonde was growing incredibly frustrated with himself and contemplated why he was having such a hard time simply letting himself like Axel the way he felt he should. Axel had said he was interested, didn't he? Or was that simply because Roxas was his Charge and they were supposed to like each other? Axel had also said the Carriers and Charges could sometimes just be friends. Carriers tended to only have eyes for their Charges but the Charges could technically go off and have families of their own, right? So technically Roxas didn't _have_ to like Axel like that...

He stopped himself. He had already accepted that he was attracted to the redhead and that he wasn't going to have a mental crisis if things did turn physical. The bigger problem the blonde believed he had was that he had never been with a guy before. He had no idea what to do with Axel, whereas girls tended to relatively easy to figure out if they were low maintenance enough. Not to mention the extra half Axel shared. How the fuck does one woo a tiger? Give it a dead cow to chew on? The blonde smirked wryly to himself. He didn't need to woo the tiger. He wasn't lusting after the animal half. His hormonally distressed mind drifted into unnecessary thought processes about the non-animalistic side.

Just how big was Axel? Roxas paled as he stared at the drain. The blonde had never felt inadequate before about the size of his own member before but if the redhead was some enormous monstrosity, what would he do? He was suddenly wishing he had had the balls to check out Axel's model number just so he could be sure. He then had a thought. He remembered the redhead saying something about turning up the sensitivity of their Signet sensors. He could turn his up and wait for his watch to go off when the redhead was 'giving' a sample for the lab and just randomly barge in claiming he needed something. He would need a key to his room though…

"Why am I caring so much?" the blonde asked aloud to no one in particular. He furrowed his brows and glared at the drain. He thought heavily on the question for a long moment. He realized he was wondering because he was actually considering sleeping with the redhead. He had no idea how homosexual relationships worked but he did know how guys worked. There would be a struggle for dominance and the blonde wasn't prepared to become someone's ass toy right away. But if Axel did win the dominance match and he was _huge_ …

"Oh god," the blonde said and held his face in his hands. There was no way Axel's animalistic instincts would let him submit to someone who was over a foot shorter than him. Survival of the fittest usually meant survival of the biggest in nature and that meant Roxas was stuck on the bottom. Then again Axel was a virgin. Maybe he was naïve.

Somehow, Roxas doubted that.

* * *

"How's your back?" Sora asked grumpily, giving Axel a sideways glare. Apparently the brunette still had some lasting hostility towards the redhead despite his brother's urging that everything was alright and he could stop. The redhead on the other hand, didn't care since Sora wasn't a threat but he still enjoyed tormenting him a little. He leaned over to the brunette and smiled sweetly in his face.

"Oh, just fine. How's your ass?" he asked cutely and Riku snorted, sucking a mouthful of water into his windpipe. He set the glass aside and started to cough violently as he tried to gulp air into himself again. Sora blinked and his cheeks turned bright pink.

"Tender, yet so firm and supple!" he twittered. "How're your balls? Are they a nice shade of blue yet?" he grinned, ignoring his blush. Axel's eyes narrowed on the young Charge and Roxas sat across from them, his lunch ignored, staring at them with wide eyes. He could almost see the electricity crackling between them and he wasn't sure if he should be upset or watch some more and be amused. Riku's coughing fit continued but it was beginning to be broken up by ragged gasps as he was able to regain the ability to breathe.

"Did you want to check for me?" Axel asked, his voice turning low and spiteful as he bore down on the brunette. Sora smiled. The brunette was just about to open his mouth to respond when a piece of bread collided with his cheek, startling him. He turned to the direction it came from and found that Roxas was glaring daggers at them both.

"Both of you need to shut the fuck up and eat," the blonde barked. Riku's coughing calmed and he settled himself back into his seat, clearing his throat a little.

"I agree," the snowy Carrier said simply. Axel and Sora shared one last glare before they huffed and went back to their meals.

"Honestly…" Roxas trailed and rubbed his forehead. He wasn't feeling well due to his early morning interruptions and the late nights he spent studying in the lab. He was trying his best to cram as much Genetic Chemistry into his brain as he could so he could actually work with Axel versus having to be tutored and taught the entire way through.

His new favorite hobby was playing with the Extractor. The machine had some other overly complicated name but Roxas liked the express version Axel had given him. He enjoyed ripping into the cytoplasm of the little happy sperm like he was some sort of sadistic maniac ripping into his victims. The contraption was actually an enormous microscope that could look into a sample behind a glass cube while a pair of manually controlled mechanical arms cut into any sort of cellular material you put in front of it. Modern day farmers used the machines to cut and splice together hybrid plants, but Roxas and Axel were using it to rip into sperm and other reproductive cells to scoop out the gooey insides so they could play god and make Carriers. Roxas liked to rip apart Axel's sperm whenever the redhead would grate against his nerves, but he hadn't had a problem like that in a while.

"Are you feeling okay?" Axel asked and looked Roxas over. The blonde seemed a little pale.

"I'm really tired," Roxas admitted.

"Yeah? Not getting enough sleep or are you staying up too late on purpose?"

"Staying up late but waking up too early against my will," the blonde said flatly, glaring at the table like he did at the drain in his shower.

"Oh…any particular reason?" the redhead asked curiously.

"I've been having dreams that wake me up but I can't remember them," Roxas said carefully. "And afterwards I haven't been able to fall back asleep." _We can just ignore the fact that I probably need to get laid_ , he thought to himself.

"Hmm…" the redhead hummed thoughtfully and chewed slowly. "Well if you want to take a nap, I'm fine with that. It'll probably screw with your sleep schedule more and you should probably tough it out for the day though. If you get tired enough, you'll be able to fall asleep, believe me."

"Axel spent many nights in his lab when he had work to do because he got too tired to even make it back to his bed," Riku said idly.

"It's true. Metal tables make terrible beds though, I wouldn't recommend them," Axel agreed. "So do the floors."

"Yeah, I'm not so sure I want to fall asleep standing at a microscope and fall forward, impaling myself in the face with it," the blonde added. "That seems like a very plausible way to get a black eye, if not lose one entirely."

"Very true. Go ahead and take a nap then. I may join you, I like naps," the redhead said.

"Define 'with you,'" the blonde said suspiciously, giving his Carrier an incredulous eye.

"Take one at the same time? Why? Are you offering your bed to me?"

"Just curious." Roxas wouldn't openly admit that the idea of taking a nap together actually sounded nice to him. Axel, if nothing else, was incredibly warm and would probably make an alright space heater. Too often was the blonde rolling around in his bed only to shiver when he landed on a cold spot. The benefit of having a twin bed all his life was that he never had that problem before because he never had the extra space.

"…Right," the redhead said and raised a brow. Sora looked between them a few times before settling his eyes on his brother. Roxas' uneasy and contemplative gaze at his plate told the brunette several things. One, that the blonde wasn't saying all that he wanted to say. Two, Roxas was probably being shy about asking Axel to sleep with him. Three, Roxas really was having a problem sleeping and probably wanted some sleepy-time comfort but was too prideful to ask for it. Sora could read the blonde like a book. He hated reading books, but the benefits usually outweighed the effort on most days. The same went to the ability to understand his brother. It took a lot of effort, but the result was a very close bond between them.

"I think I will take a nap though, if it isn't a problem," the blonde said and Axel nodded.

"Sure."

* * *

Roxas had forgotten that there was a switch next to his bed that heated the mattress and covers. He sighed happily and snuggled under the artificial warmth and could feel the pleasant tugging of grogginess pull at him after only a few moments. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax. After about twenty minutes he sighed and rolled over, trying a new position. Another twenty minutes passed and he grumbled angrily at himself. He sat up, flicked off the heater and waved the comforter around to get rid of some of the excess warmth before resettling. After another bit of waiting for sleep to take him, there was a knock at the door before it was pushed open.

"Roxas?" Axel asked quietly. "It's been an hour."

"I haven't even been able to fall asleep," the blonde growled. The redhead raised a brow and stepped in.

"Oh… well you wanted me to come get you, did you want me to come back in another hour?"

"What's the point? I won't be able to fall asleep anyway," Roxas said grumpily and pushed himself up. He rubbed at his eyes, still feeling so very tired. He wanted nothing more than to dive back under the covers and take a proper nap, but apparently that wasn't an option.

"I can try to help you get to sleep."

"I don't want to take any pills just for a damn nap."

"That's not what I was going to offer. May I?" the redhead asked and pointed to the bed. The blonde gave him a wary glance. "I promise I'm not going to molest you."

"How did y—"

"Because I know you're paranoid. No, I want to do what Leon used to do for me when I was first taken out of my gestation chamber."

"…Leon?" Roxas asked with a raised brow and scooted over. Axel took the invitation and slid under the covers with him. The redhead pulled all the pillows around himself so he was propped up and draped one over his bicep. He patted the bottom half of the fabric and the blonde gave him a quizzical look.

"When you spend your entire first twenty-four years of growth and life in a glass tube filled with liquid, having to suddenly deal with gravity and solid surfaces puts a damper on your sleeping schedule. The new Carriers are usually assigned to another older Carrier for the first week or so and the older one helps them get adjusted. Leon switched on and off with Demyx for me. So come on…" he urged and patted the pillow again. Roxas hesitated before scooting around and lying on the redhead's pillow covered bicep with his back against his chest. Axel curled a long arm over the blonde's side and under his elbow, his hand immediately going up to pet the flaxen locks.

"Leon did this, huh?" Roxas questioned in disbelief. Even if it was a little awkward and put a small dent in his ego, the blonde couldn't deny that the warmth of another body and the steady rhythm of the fingers in his hair were very soothing. Still, the image of Leon doing this with Axel wasn't one he could conjure up without it looking utterly ridiculous to him.

"You should see him with his kids, he gets crazy cute."

"Weird, not Cloud though?"

"Cloud isn't very cuddly."

"Even with the kids?"

"Oh he plays with them well enough but he's not nearly as cuddly, no."

"Wow. That's funny," the blonde remarked. He had the mental image of Cloud being the proverbial dad in the old reclining chair watching the game, telling the kids to buzz off and get him a beer, that is, unless they wanted to go outside and play football or something equally as masculine. Except the kids were lions, and Roxas didn't think lions played very good football.

"It is in some ways. But you're supposed to be taking a nap so be quiet and sleep," the redhead ordered. Roxas shifted around a little and nuzzled his face into the pillow, letting his eyes slip closed. After only about ten minutes of silence, the deep breathing coming from the body in front of him gave Axel the indication that Roxas had drifted off at last. He gave himself a triumphant smile before pulling his fingers from the blonde's hair and letting his arm rest over his side. The redhead considered getting comfortable and drifting off right along with him, but he decided against it. Watching Roxas sleep in person and watching Roxas sleep through a computer monitor were two vastly different experiences and he was enjoying the previous very much.

He settled in and used the top half of the pillow for his own benefit and pulled it towards his face so he could settled his cheek against it but still have a high enough vantage point to see the blonde's face. He watched peacefully for a few moments but the urge to touch the Charge and explore him properly eventually started to pull at him. He chastised himself mentally and told himself to be patient. Patience. He was running out of that.

After letting the blonde sleep for a little over a half an hour, Roxas took it upon himself in his unconscious state to roll over and press himself fully against the line of Axel's body. The redhead squeezed his eyes shut, cursing the blonde for being so damn appealing. Perhaps he should have fallen asleep like his first instinct had told him to. He stuffed the pillow over his face, since apparently Roxas wanted to sleep in his armpit, and let out a frustrated groan as quietly as he could. His problems were made even worse when the blonde slipped an arm over his waist and pulled himself firmly against the redhead, Axel sighed, looking down at Roxas and wishing he would do this when he was awake.

After another few agonizing minutes, something changed. Axel knew that Roxas was never a very active sleeper but the blonde started to twitch and move just enough for it not to be considered normal. His face contorted some into one of irritation and his breathing picked up. The redhead was concerned. He shifted down some so Roxas was nestled in the crook of his neck and hugged the blonde protectively, ignoring his frustrated state in favor of helping his Charge.

* * *

The only thing Roxas could register was the pain and the force someone was using to squeeze themselves into his body. They weren't tender about, weren't loving, and the blonde was wondering how he even ended up in a dank alleyway with his pants around his ankles in the first place. He didn't have much time to think about it though because whoever it was had pushed themselves through and were pounding against him with such force he felt the bricks of the building in front of him press into his skin from head to toe. The person, the man, behind him made no noise, no grunting or lustful panting that signified he was enjoying this any more than Roxas was, and it made the blonde's skin crawl.

The worst part of his supposed rape was that eventually, the pain subsided and the blonde could actually feel a small bit of pleasure in it. His assailant was either psychic or could register his relaxation because suddenly Roxas found himself being spun around and picked up easily from behind his knees and hoisted up the wall. His pants were pulled away quickly and his legs spread open so he could be entered again while he was balanced between the wall and his attacker's chest. Large hands slid down and gripped his cheeks harshly, spreading them apart to allow the maximum amount of leverage inside.

Roxas was ashamed of himself when he felt the insatiable urge to touch the other man and run his hands over the strong chest. He explored, touching every bit of skin he could, pulling the man's shirt up as he went. He pushed himself up to nip and lick at the man's neck, pulling at the skin lightly. Suddenly, the man spoke in a raspy gasp in the shell of his ear.

"Roxas…"

The blonde blinked, some sense coming to him at the familiar voice. _Why is Axel raping me?_ He thought to himself.

* * *

"Roxas, please wake up," the redhead urged and shivered as the blonde's hands snaked their way under his shirt and over his chest lazily. He grasped Roxas' shoulders and pushed him away some, giving him a gentle shake. "Roxas!" he called and the blonde startled but didn't wake fully. "You're killing me, kid. God damn," the redhead muttered to himself and tapped the blonde's cheek in a half-slap to get him to come to his senses. Roxas' eyebrows pushed together and he grumbled angrily.

"Mn…what?" the blonde muttered, pulling his eyes open some and watching the blurry view of Axel's half exposed chest come into view.

"Oh fuck, thank you," the redhead sighed in relief. Roxas blinked confusedly for a moment before he could register his fingers pressed into Axel's skin. It was another few hazy seconds before he could realize he was incredibly aroused and mostly pressed against the Carrier who could probably feel everything. He paled some and swallowed thickly, staring at the redhead's skin.

"Uh… hi Axel," he said nervously. "What's going on?"

"I have no idea, mind cluing me in?" the redhead asked, hands still on the blonde's shoulders.

"I'm not so sure myself, really."

"Oh, well that's a shame. You can stop staring at my nipple now, it's not going anywhere if you decide you want to come back to it but I would like an explanation on why you molested me in your sleep," Axel said. "Are those the kinds of dreams you were having that were waking you up?"

"Y-yeah…" the blonde stuttered, his cheeks turning a deep pink. He pulled his hands away and Axel smoothed his shirt down again. "I don't actually remember the specifics, but yeah…this is how I end up," he said. He pulled the covers over to hide his face, feeling completely disgusted with himself. Axel yanked the covers away and pulled the blonde into his chest again, hugging him tight. Roxas blinked in surprise.

"It's okay. I don't mind," the redhead said. "I just wish you would've warned me."

"O-okay. So…yeah I'm going to go take a really cold shower now…" the blonde said and tried to push away but Axel held tight. "Please?" he asked. Roxas could hear the redhead's throat work as he swallowed thickly. He could tell Axel didn't want to let go but he didn't know if he could go that far with him just yet. Roxas wasn't one to surrender himself over simply because the other party was horny, even less so in this sort of situation where the other party was a guy. The blonde could accept that he wasn't completely straight as far as his sexual preferences went, which was a milestone in of itself, but to actually jump into something so quickly wasn't his preferred way of doing things.

"Yeah. Go do that," Axel said finally and released him. Before Roxas had time to react, the redhead was sitting up and running tired hands through his hair. His posture told volumes to the blonde. Axel wasn't happy, maybe even sad, and he was trying very hard to control himself. Roxas slid across the bed away from the redhead and pushed himself up, quickly making his way into the bathroom so as to not upset his Carrier anymore than he already had. Inside, he leaned against the door and held his face in his hands, sliding his back over the metal as he let himself flop to the floor. He could hear his bedroom door open and close again as Axel left. He sighed.

Forty-five minutes into a shower of varying temperatures, Roxas' watch sprung to life and started to beep. He reached over and dried his hand off on his towel before picking it up and raising a brow at the strangely worded message he had received.

_Carrier 4x31 expelling spermatocytes._

"Wow, Technician guys. Just tell me he's jerking off, you don't need to get all technical about it," Roxas muttered to himself. He shook his head and set the device back on the sink.

* * *

"So let me get this straight. You cock blocked _yourself_? How the hell do you even _do_ that?" Sora asked and gave his brother a raised brow followed by an overly curious face. He rolled onto his stomach and started to idly play with the blades of grass that surrounded the obstacle course. Riku was busy scratching away at a wooden pole with his huge snowshoe paws, giving the brothers some privacy. Roxas sighed and ran frustrated hands through his hair.

"I just… I have no idea. I'm not some cheap floozy that'll just sleep with whoever. I hardly feel anything other than physical attraction to him so I can't rationalize it," the blonde admitted, having spent another hour in the bathroom figuring himself out.

"So what? I'm the same way with Riku and I don't think it's a problem. You're allowed to sleep with him and give it time to develop but you have to _let_ it develop, dude. If you're waiting for something more to happen but you keep pushing him away, it's never going to happen."

"Sex first love later? Didn't mom and dad try to tell us it's the other way around?"

"You have very selective learning when it comes to them, I've noticed," the brunette said and gave him a sly look. "You can't have one without the other anyway, you know that whole love versus lust thing," he added and waved a hand dismissively. "I follow the path of least resistance. I'll worry about the emotional stuff later; Riku's pretty much the same way."

"Do you guys sit around and talk about this shit or something? You seem to know so much."

"Yeah, we do actually. You have terrible communication skills so I can assume you don't. I look at you like this," Sora said and picked at the grass some more, "you had an opportunity to make a choice whether or not to come here, and you did. You had an opportunity to leave, and you didn't. You aren't being forced to stay here if you decide it's too much, and yet you stay. Why?" he asked and looked up at his older sibling. "Is it because of Axel or because you want success? Wouldn't it be a better situation if you can stop being indecisive and just take both? You _can_ do that, you know."

"I don't even know if I want a relationship with him like that though."

"So? Take what you know you want now, and figure out the rest later. That's what I'm doing, and I'm cool with it," Sora said and rolled onto his back again, looking up at the sky through the wavy glass of the dome. "Personally, I don't like Axel right now. He has to make you happy somehow before he can redeem himself to me, but if you're going to refuse to let him do that, then I guess I have to side with him on this. From what you told me, he obviously wants you like you want him so just bend the fuck over already."

"Eugh…" the blonde groaned. "Don't say it like that, it freaks me out."

"I thought you were over that whole gay deal."

"I can accept that I want it but it still doesn't sit with me very well."

"Oh…why not?"

"Because my ass is small Sora, and Axel is like as tall as a building and he's going to rip me in half," Roxas spat grumpily. The brunette took a moment to process all that the statement implied and burst into sudden laughter. The blonde started to punch his brother in arm repeatedly and the younger sibling rolled away, holding his sides.

"Oh my god Roxas! That was awesome!" he gasped between laughs. The blonde's cheeks were flushed and he stared at the grass, hoping to ignite it on fire with his gaze. After a moment, Sora calmed and could lie in the grass calmly again. "Is that all?"

"What do you mean 'is that all'? It's a serious problem!" Roxas insisted. "At least Riku isn't all that much bigger than you are. I bet his junk is proportioned to him, just like it probably is to Axel and everyone say's he's huge so why shouldn't I worry?"

"As much as I dislike him for what he did to you, I don't think he's awful enough to rape you. If he's hurting you, he'll stop, I'm sure."

"Well not rape me bu—"

"He'll stop, if you tell him to stop. That's all up to you, dude. You're right, Riku isn't all that much bigger than me so I can't really relate but I'm sure it won't be as big of an issue as you're making it," the brunette said.

"It bothers me that I have to ask you about these things," the blonde said and rubbed his eyes. "I'm supposed to be the one giving you advice."

"I'll ask for advice about girls when I need to, but I don't see that happening for a while. If I need help with my homework or something Riku wants, I can ask you. Stuff like this though? People watching and whatever? That's all me, so you're allowed. I don't have to be the 'little brother' for everything, you know."

"Still…"

"Ego, pride, yeah yeah whatever. When you live with someone for eighteen years, it gets a little redundant."

"True enough. Riku gives you homework?"

"He's making me study some stuff, yeah. It's not really stuff like what we would do in school like papers or whatever, just studying. He's been pretty good about making sure I understand everything, but if he wasn't there, I would've been busting your door down trying to get you to help me, believe me."

"Oh. Well that makes me feel better. At least I know I'm not being completely useless."

"You're not useless. You just need lessons on how to read people a little better and quite possibly how to be gay, though I won't go that far yet."

"Gay lessons?" the blonde asked skeptically, with a raised brow.

"How to deal with it anyway. I don't think I can be your teacher for that. I don't really _want_ to be your teacher for that. I can't exactly tell you to treat it the same way you would if Axel were a girl because I don't have anything to go off of, but I do think you need to get over it and push yourself a little."

"Yeah maybe…"

"'Yeah maybe…'" Sora mocked and crossed his eyes stupidly, "not maybe, definitely."

"Alright, I'll try."

"That's all you can do, really," the brunette said and sat up. Riku had situated himself on a rock outcropping and was busy absorbing as much sunlight as he could. Sora waved the cat over and the animal pulled itself up before descending to the grass, carrying his tail between his teeth carefully. "So have you had to deal with Axel's Primal again yet?" the brunette asked when Riku had made it to them. The brunette lay back again and rolled onto his stomach before Riku stretched himself over the small of the Charge's back, settling down.

"No. He hasn't even talked about it."

"Were you ever able to give him a physical?"

"No."

"That's not good."

"I know. I'm almost afraid to bring it up because he hates himself so much. Not even because of the conference either, but before that."

"Really? I didn't know that. I thought he was just being emo about it because he hurt you. Why does he hate himself?"

"Because he scares people and is too big for a lot of things and places."

"…Weird. I'd kill to be as tall as he is, even if the tiger is bigger."

"I know right?"

"Well maybe that's something you guys should do to take a step in the right direction as far as all the other stuff goes. It needs to get done eventually anyway."

"That's actually not a bad idea. I haven't thought about it much, myself. I think I can handle it okay," the blonde said. He had been too distracted by the other half of the redhead to even think about the things they still needed to do with the Primal half. Sora was right when he said it all needed to get done, so why not? Roxas took a moment to figure out whether or not he would be overly fearful and he couldn't decide. He probably would be but it had been so long since the conference he couldn't actually remember some of what the cat even looked like. He would deal with it when the time came, but he knew he shouldn't wait until Axel _had_ to change to do it. Initiating the encounter would probably mean a lot to redhead.

"You think so? Did you want me to stick around and keep an eye out when you decide to do it?" Sora asked. Roxas shook his head.

"I think I'll be fine."

* * *

Several days passed. Axel and Roxas communicated on a need-to-talk basis and the blonde spent most of his off time in his room studying and thinking. He hadn't mentioned his plan to the redhead and they hadn't discussed what had gone on between them, making the air tense when they were together. After lunch one afternoon, Roxas decided it was now or never. They needed to get things done and he was tired of the uneasiness they shared. He had to make things right. Axel had gone to his room for something after their meal and so there Roxas stood; staring at the door like it was going to eat him. He knocked, and Axel answered.

"I have an idea," the blonde started, keeping his voice as even as he could to cover his nervousness.

"What's that?" Axel asked calmly.

"I think… you should change for me."

"Why should I?"

"Because we still have work to do, that's why."

"We always have a lot of work to do, why do you need this to happen all of a sudden? I don't need to just yet; I can still go a few more months."

"Your back is healed, right?"

"Yeah."

"And I have yet to give your Primal an exam, right?"

"Yeah…"

"So come on."

"Right now?"

"Sure."

"I don't want to."

"But I want you to."

"…You do?" the redhead asked skeptically. He raised a brow and looked the blonde over. "You're not scared?"

"Maybe a little, but I'll be fine. Did you want to go for a swim?"

"I don't know what I want to do."

"…Please?" Roxas asked, sending pleading eyes up to Axel's face. The redhead was unfazed by the innocent look.

"Why are you bringing this up all of a sudden and with such urgency?"

"Thought I'd mix it up a little?"

"…That was a really lame excuse."

"Yeah I know. But…" the blonde hesitated. He wasn't sure how to word how much he wanted to clear the air without tripping over himself. He went with the next best thing, "I like your Primal," he said. It wasn't a total lie. He really did like the tiger but most of the experiences he had with it were in his mind and fictional so he didn't have many real life instances to go off of. Axel's brows furrowed together as he mulled over the concept of someone actually liking the other half. Someone other than Demyx, that is.

He was confused. He couldn't understand why Roxas would gravitate towards the unfamiliar half of himself, rather than going with the Implant, the human, the one he knew more of. He thought that the pull of having familiar anatomy would be enough to keep the blonde interested in him, but Roxas wanted to see the Primal? That didn't make much sense. It made about as much sense to him as the blonde's confusing actions when he ran off into the bathroom after his nap several days ago. It was true that they had work to do with the Primal, but he didn't understand why that would be enough to prompt such a random invitation. He wasn't completely secure with himself just yet and really didn't want to change, but if it's what the blonde wanted…

"I suppose we can do it if you're sure you'll be alright," the redhead said carefully. Roxas gave him a small smile and dug around in his pocket and pulled out a new earpiece.

"I just need to get my tablet from the lab and we can start," the blonde said and skittered away. Axel watched him go suspiciously. He pulled his door shut and padded down the hall, his mind awash in a sea of confusion. Roxas didn't want his Implant, but his Primal? The blonde never gave the impression he cared about animals so much but then again, the redhead could remember the blonde thoroughly staring at his genitalia in one of their dreams together.

That was a really disturbing thought.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

The pool was occupied. Not that it made a difference, because they could still get the work done, but Roxas was a little anxious anyway for reasons he didn't fully understand. Who it was occupied by though, didn't help. Cloud was milling about in shallow end of the pool, with several lion cubs splashing with him. An enormous male lion, who Roxas assumed was Leon, was lazing in the grass simply looking regal and not doing much else. The blonde raised a brow at the group. There weren't any other adult lions, and only Cloud as far as the Charges went. Axel eventually caught up and the door clicked shut, drawing Roxas' attention to him.

"Did you want to go somewhere else?" the blonde asked, Axel shrugged.

"I'm fine, the kids like me enough," he said and strolled past his Charge and waved to Cloud who nodded in recognition before heading behind the giant rock formation that made the waterfall. Roxas made his way to the edge of the pool. He set his tablet and earpiece down on a rock before pulling off his shirt and kicking off his shoes and sitting in the shallow water in a pair of oversized shorts. He didn't feel out of place for not having a proper bathing suit because Cloud was wearing essentially the same thing.

"So… how's it going?" Roxas asked and motioned to the four cubs that were present. One was perched on Cloud's lap, demanding a finger to suck on. The other three were toppling around on the water's edge together. The smaller blonde's watch started to beep as Axel had initiated his change code from his hiding spot.

"Eh… it's alright. I'm more tired than anything else," Cloud said. He winced a little and tried to wiggle his finger out of the cub's mouth, which prompted a clawed foot to come up and hang on to his skin, making matters worse. "We just got back from the ecosystem where we released the adults and a few of the older cubs today. The other Carriers stayed behind with their Charges for a while, to do whatever it is they wanted to do, so Leon and I are babysitting until they get back, though he isn't much help," he said and sent a sideways glare to his Carrier who either hadn't heard him, or was ignoring him.

"Really? You have enough to release already?" Roxas questioned. Cloud nodded.

"Yeah. We only needed ten but there are a few extra just to make sure. We were running out of space to keep them. The only thing we have to wait for is this guy," Cloud said and ran his hand over the cub in his lap, "he's the only male we have but he's obviously not old enough to be released as a dominant just yet. We would've preferred it if they could've stayed here for another year or so, but they couldn't."

"You sound less than thrilled."

"Well it's bittersweet. It's a good thing to be able to release a group but in this case it's not totally complete without a male. The longer they're all out there, the more likely it is for poachers to get them so ideally you really need to be able to have more cubs right away to keep the population steady. It'll be a test, to say the least."

"I see. I hope everything goes well," Roxas said. Cloud nodded in agreement but didn't say anything else. "Doesn't he realize he isn't getting anything from you?" he asked and pointed at the cub suckling on the man's finger. Cloud shrugged.

"It's instinct. He has teeth though and it kind of hurts, I really wish he would stop," he said and used his free hand to push on the cub's nose and pry his abused digit free. "See?" he said and held out his hand, the finger was partly swollen and turning purple. Roxas' eyes widened and he raised a brow. The cub let out a mewl of protest and tried to pull another finger, any finger, back to suck on.

"How long has he been doing it for? Damn."

"Like…forty-five minutes. Leon really isn't helping by lying around and not doing anything so I blame him," he said. One of the other cubs flounced through the water and whacked the suckling cub's tail, prompting the little male to jump and push off of Cloud to chase after the offender. The Charge stuck his finger in the water to soothe it and watched them wrestle around. Leon pulled himself off of the ground and padded over to them. Roxas had never realized that Leon kept the scar across his face while in his Primal form. He didn't quite understand why though, since the Carriers shed their skin when they change. Shouldn't the scars fall off with it? Leon shoved his face into the pile of cubs and they all stopped what they were doing and scattered a few feet in each direction. The large male flopped himself on the ground again and immediately all four of the cubs bounced back to him and started to jump on him and pull at his ears and mane. "Wish he would've done that a half hour ago," Cloud muttered.

Suddenly, Axel came into view from behind Roxas and the blonde startled. He wasn't expecting a tiger to come out of nowhere and he held his chest, exhaling the breath he had sucked in. The Carrier made his way to Leon and casually picked up a random cub with his mouth and carried it off a few feet away. Roxas raised a brow. Leon didn't seem very alarmed, so the blonde didn't protest but it was still a little strange to see him cart of a cub without any prior warning. Axel gently lay in the grass and set the cub in front of himself before using his large paws to push it around, prompting the cub to roll over and grab onto him playfully and chew on his toes. Eventually the other three realized that someone was missing and bounded off to jump on the other Carrier, giving him the same treatment that they had given to Leon. Axel was more receptive though and played back, shoving the cubs around gently and keeping his tail just out of their reach as they chased after it.

"Axel's so much better at that than you are, asshole," Cloud said and flung a handful of water at Leon. The cat ignored him.

* * *

Once playtime was over and Leon and Cloud had taken the cubs back to their enclosure, it was time for business. Roxas had watched Axel play with the little lions for over and hour but he couldn't still the underlying feeling of fear he had. The Carrier made his way to the pool and plopped himself in the shallow end in front of the blonde but facing away. Roxas took his time to gather his nerves before reaching forward and putting a hand on Axel's back. The line of orange and black fur down the Carrier's spine was broken up by a half dozen jagged scars and Roxas didn't like it. He furrowed his brows at them. He also didn't like that Axel had presented his back to him, versus his face. It was almost as if he was hiding himself in plain sight. The blonde sighed and moved his tablet and earpiece to the other side of the pool before sitting in front of the cat again. Axel didn't make a move to turn away, but watched him carefully.

"I had originally asked you to change again so we can get your physical done and move forward with our progress, hoping to clear the air between us again and show you that I'm not afraid of you and I don't hate you," the blonde said and took up his earpiece. Axel opened his mouth and Roxas plugged it in to his Link but held the device in his hands for a moment. "But the longer I see you like this, the more sympathy I have for you because of what happened. I knew your cuts would leave scars but I didn't think they would be so visible. Especially not on your Primal form, I didn't think they'd be there at all," he added, placing the device on his ear. The earpiece was waterproof; otherwise it would shock the Carriers once it touched their saliva, so it was safe to wear in the pool.

" _I deserved it though_ ," Axel said, his voice taking an obvious tone of remorse.

"I knew you'd say that. No one deserves to be treated that way though. I don't remember it happening and I'm thankful for it, but seeing the aftermath makes it feel like I do and it sucks," the blonde said, reaching forward and stuffing his hands into the thick tufts of fur under the cat's jaws. As soon as he could feel the follicles between his fingers, Roxas' fear melted away and he looked into the cat's depressed eyes. Between the guilt Axel obviously felt for what he had done and the years of being alone without anyone to relate to, it forced the Primal to have a permanent look of sadness on its face and it tugged at the blonde's heartstrings something fierce.

Roxas idly scratched under Axel's jaw, letting his mind drift. He could only imagine the horrors that the world's animals and environments went through during the Great War. He was suddenly flooded with a bunch of images of tiny bunny rabbits and squirrels being blown to bits in a flash of light and nuclear power. He could remember the animal conservation commercials back home that he barely paid attention to. The images of abused and neglected wild animals being kept for the sake of being shown off by greedy people suddenly seemed so much crueler than it once had been because the blonde had witnessed essentially the same thing at the conference. He could recall the dreams he had as well and they suddenly made so much more sense. The tiger melting and disappearing in a puff of ash was basically what happened to them, as well as the city being destroyed in the distance by a flash of light and smoke. The entire world came to a standstill, a deserted wasteland of a standstill because of a handful of people's political greed, only to begin again with the same selfish cycle.

" _Roxas_?"

"Hm?" the blonde said with his mind still in a half a daze. He blinked a few times.

" _Why are you crying_?"

"Crying?" he asked and wiped his eye. He stared at the tears that came away like they were aliens. "Sorry. I was just thinking," he added quickly and wiped his face dry, giving Axel a wobbly smile. The realization of what his role was, and how important it was, came crashing into him. He felt a little guilty that he didn't fully understand until just then and that he was focusing mainly on his own personal success, but he found he felt tons better now that he did realize it. He could understand why Axel took everything so seriously. Axel was the beginning of a rebirth for his Totem, the first stepping stone to rebuilding a lost world. Roxas knew that from the beginning, but it hadn't really sunk in before. This wasn't just about him anymore, and his selfish delusions of success. He was a part of something much bigger.

" _What were you thinking about_?"

"How much I want to help you."

"... _Really_?"

"Yeah, but like I really want to help this time. For real."

" _I thought you did want to help_ …"

"I did, but for the wrong reasons. Don't worry about it. It's a personal epiphany on my part," he said and smiled.

" _If I could smile, I would_ ," Axel said and the blonde laughed a little.

"Anyway, so now that I'm done being a baby and I made you at least _want_ to smile, shall we?" he asked, picking up his tablet. "We should probably get out of the water though," he added and started to push himself up the ramp that made the shallow end. Axel followed as quickly as he could, to keep the earpiece from being pulled off of Roxas' face. When they were both mostly out of the water, only Axel's back feet and tail flopping in it idly, Roxas started to run down the list of things he needed to check. He found that the Technicians tended to split things up from week to week. One week would be a certain section of the Carrier's body, and the next week would be another until the entire Implant/Primal was checked over by the end of the month. It was an organized system but it took some getting used to and the blonde would have to rely on the tablet to keep things straight for him for now.

Through his studying, Roxas could grasp a vague understanding of what a tiger's face was supposed to feel like. He understood that there weren't supposed to be any lumps on the skin or anything weird, and pushed Axel's face around, feeling it closely. There was a clump of grass under his chin that was initially thought to be a bad lump but was quickly proven otherwise. Over all though, things were fine. Roxas didn't expect them not to be since Axel didn't traipse around in his Primal form very often so not much could happen to it. He still had to check though. Axel's nails were nice and clean from underuse as were the unmarred pads of his feet. He didn't have any weird growths between his toes, or any matting in the long hairs between the digits. His dewclaws were sharp, as they should be, and upon further inspection of his tail it showed no strange curves or bumps. The blonde checked off his list, he was only assigned the face and extremities for that week, so he finished. An hour's worth of exploration and that was it.

"I feel like I should be doing so much more," he remarked and squinted at his tablet, expecting a new list to spring up in front of him.

" _I'm not very complicated. You will be happy to know that you reek of my scent though._ "

"…I do?" the blonde asked and looked at himself.

" _Yes, you were fiddling with my feet_."

"Oh. So long as I can't smell it I don't really care."

" _Well if you really want to smell weird, go sit downwind and I can I spray you_."

"Okay yuck, no," Roxas said and gave him a disgruntled face. He made a point to move to Axel's face again. He was barely able to seat himself comfortably before Axel placed a huge paw on his thigh and began rubbing his face all over the blonde's side. "Not that this isn't cute and all, but what are you doing?" he asked, being shoved around at uncomfortable angles.

" _Marking you. You're mine now creampuff_ ," Axel said and continued his rubbing. He paused to sniff a particular spot on Roxas' skin, gently touching a wet nose to him before starting his assault all over again.

"Okay okay okay that's enough!" the blonde pleaded as he was knocked to the grass. "I have the craziest urge to shower now," he huffed as Axel let him sit upright again.

" _I don't smell that bad do I_?" the cat asked, pushing his nose into the bottom of his paw to take a deep sniff.

"I don't know," Roxas said and scooted to his side and buried his face into Axel's neck. He inhaled. "You smell like Hayner's cat to me. I don't get anything specific just… cat," he said, his voice be muffled a little by a mouthful of fur.

" _If I remember correctly, Hayner's cat was about eighty thousand years old and had mats covering its underside completely. I'm pretty sure it probably smelled bad, Roxas_."

"I don't know, it smelled like a cat. I didn't exactly stick my nose in it but it was around enough. You're the one who's all concerned about scent, not me. I can't tell what you actually smell like, so why should I care?"

" _True enough. Everyone will know who you belong to now even if I'm not around though. Everyone being other Carriers, that is._ "

"Great…" the blonde trailed. "So if I ever go to the canine facility are they going to assume I'm there to steal puppies?"

" _Not with your teeth anyway_."

"Fantastic," he said sarcastically and gave the cat a sideways glare. "Now I really want to shower."

" _Unless you can find some soap with fragrance in it, it probably won't be much help_."

"You're an asshole."

" _Takes one to know one my blonde friend_ ," the Carrier said sounding overly satisfied with himself. Roxas huffed again, resolving himself to his fate. He only hoped he didn't get any weird looks. Then again, he felt safe in assuming that probably all of the other Charges smelled like their respective Carriers so at least he wouldn't be the only one. He was also thankful humans couldn't pick up on it otherwise the facility would be a really awful place to be most of the time. " _Anyway, what did you want to do with the rest of your day_?"

"I don't know. We weren't going to work on anything else?" the blonde asked, flicking his tablet to check the time. His watch was with his clothing. "It's almost dinner time."

" _I know, I'm hungry. I think we made reasonable progress today thanks to your sudden urge to take things seriously so we can end it here if you want. I appreciate it by the way._ "

"No problem."

" _The weather report says there's supposed to be another storm tonight by the way. I should probably add that it is the season for them, so don't expect them to stop anytime soon_."

"…Oh. Thanks for the advanced warning," the blonde said, paling a bit. Axel stood and pushed his back end high in the air, stretching himself as long as he could. He flexed all of his toes a few times and let out a tremendous yawn before shifting around and laying down again, pushing his face into Roxas' lap.

" _I have no problem helping you out again if you need it_ ," he said. Roxas considered that. His fear of storms was beginning to override his fear of molesting Axel in his sleep again and the proposition was appealing more to him the longer he thought about it.

"I would like that," he admitted, a hand going up to comb through the Carrier's glistening pelt. "I'm really not sure I want to wander off to find Sora and hear the things I heard before again."

" _That traumatizing, huh_?"

"Not really, but he's my brother and I really don't like thinking about him like that. It's the same as my parents. Like, you know your parents had to have sex in order to make you, but you really don't want to think about it and you want to believe that all the sex stopped after you were born and they don't do it anymore."

" _I wouldn't know_."

"Yeah well, trust me. It's an experience you can live without. Hearing your brother, your _younger_ brother moan out some guy's name is not the most ideal thing to listen to."

"… _I can understand that. Demyx is like a brother to me and he and Zexion are obnoxious with the noises they make sometimes. It doesn't help that you can hear them from down the hall either._ "

"Really?"

" _Yeah. When Cloud and Leon used to live here, they would bang on their door all the time and stop them. Much like I had to do for them when we were in the triplex in Radiant Garden, ironically enough._ "

"Ew."

" _Not 'ew' so much as 'Come on, guys. Really_?'"

"Speaking of back then, I couldn't understand what you were yelling at them about, because I didn't understand the language you know? Do you remember what you were saying? I'm really curious."

" _I don't remember the specifics. It was probably along the lines of 'Roxas is here and he doesn't need to listen to butt fucking while he's studying' or something. I seem to remember telling them that a lot while we were there_ ," Axel said and Roxas laughed at the blunt terminology.

"Wow. I guess that happens a lot?"

" _You'd think after over a hundred years of looking at the same ass, Leon would get tired of Cloud. But no, he doesn't, and yes, it happens a lot._ "

"Why were they there to begin with? Leon wasn't looking for Cloud obviously."

" _Backup just in case something went wrong. They were there for Riku and I both._ "

"Oh. You guys seem to take a lot of precautionary measures for everything."

" _Everything here involves many different people and lives as well as a ton of money. So yeah, they want to keep it all safe even if things tend to be a little unfair_."

"Whips are only a little unfair?" Roxas questioned, running his fingertips over the cat's scars.

" _Yeah well, some Technicians see us as things, some see us as investments, and some see us as lives. The ones that see us as investments and lives tend to be a little nicer but in the end, it's the Technicians and the Committee that make the rules and they can do what they want with us. We're alive and we're doing the work and getting results. They don't care about much else._ "

"Still…"

" _You're going to have to accept it, Roxas. I appreciate the concern and it's nice to know someone who cares so much but it's just the way things are._ "

"Okay fine," the blonde huffed. He wasn't really ready to accept it, but at the very least he could stop complaining about it, he figured. They shared a comfortable silence for a few moments with Roxas' fingers rubbing behind the Carrier's ears and looking up at the wiggly sky through the dome. "It doesn't look like it's going to storm," he said, referencing to how blue the sky appeared. It was hard to tell if there were any clouds but it was definitely a nice shade of bright blue.

" _That's the thing about dust storms; they aren't caused by the sky. They're caused by the wind and it doesn't need to be overcast for the wind to pick up._ "

"Oh. Well damn."

" _Yeah. Well, as much as I enjoy you itching behind my ear, I really want to change back. Can I do that_?"

"I suppose," the blonde said. Axel was much easier to deal with when he was in his Primal form, he noticed. Perhaps it was the lack of expression the cat face portrayed or something. He couldn't put his finger on it. The cat opened his jaws and Roxas unplugged his earpiece before Axel padded off behind the rock formation again to where he had left his clothes. Roxas went about finding his watch and pulling his shirt back over his head. He leaned against a rock and waited once he was finished. After a few minutes, Axel came back around, zipping his shorts up with his t-shirt draped over his shoulder.

"I'm hungry," he said casually, casting a brief glance to his Charge. Roxas shrugged.

"We can eat," he agreed.

* * *

"I don't understand something," Roxas said as he and Axel made his way to the blonde's bedroom. "And I'm not trying to bring up a sore subject or anything to make you feel bad, but I was wondering why your scars don't disappear when you change. You'd think they'd fall off and stay off since you're growing new skin once you change back, right?"

"That's not entirely accurate. Humans have four or five layers of skin right?"

"Depending on where it is, yeah."

"Carriers have seven. We have the four or five human layers then a layer of synthetic lubricant, then two more permanent layers that contract and stretch as we change. When we change, we only shed the first few layers and expose the lubricant, which helps stimulate the growth of our pelt and makes things slide away easier. Once we change back, the hair follicles under our fur become the new top layers of shedding skin and it regrows according to the blueprint of our permanent skin. If the scarring reaches the bottom layers, then the scars stay. If not, then they don't."

"Oh, so Xemnas got really deep then," the blonde concluded flatly.

"Yeah. He did. And it sucked."

"Sorry, didn't mean to bring it up like that. I was just curious because I noticed Leon's scar was still across his face too."

"Yeah."

"Speaking of Leon, he wasn't being very cute today like you said he was when he was around the 'kids.' Whenever you say 'kids' I assume you mean the cubs?"

"Yeah I do. But I overheard your conversation with Cloud and they were both probably pretty tired. I haven't seen either of them for several days because they were at the ecosystem releasing a group and that takes a lot of work so it's no surprise they were both boring as hell."

"Oh. Well you got my hopes up and then Leon dashed them," the blonde grumped. Axel laughed some.

"Don't worry; I'm sure you'll have another opportunity to see what I mean later on."

Once inside the blonde's bedroom, Roxas went through his armoire and pulled out a pair of pajamas and went into the bathroom to change. Axel stood around for a moment before stripping off his shirt and sliding under the covers. He didn't have proper pajamas and usually either slept completely nude or in his shorts. He wasn't out to kill his Charge so he opted for the latter option.

After dinner, Roxas had had Axel tutor him a little in Genetic Chemistry, clarifying some things, and before they had realized it, several hours had passed and it was time for bed. The redhead was very pleased with how relaxed Roxas had been, even if the day started out a little tense and he was hoping for a peaceful night's sleep with little to no interruptions of the nightmarish or hormonal sort.

In the bathroom, Roxas was trying his best not to have a mental crisis. He was quickly realizing he was going to be in the bed with Axel again and he was pleading with his subconscious to not let him dream terrible things again. Being in close proximity with Axel wasn't the problem anymore. After having such a nice and relaxed day together, it was almost difficult to _not_ enjoy his company. What scared him was what would happen if he drifted off and ended up with his hands all over the redhead again. He would almost feel obligated to finish the job because of how he had rejected him before. He had obviously hurt the redhead and the blonde wasn't heartless enough to do it twice. After he got dressed, he swallowed thickly and tried to take a few deep breaths to calm his nerves before exiting the bathroom again. He blinked, realizing Axel was already in the bed and had stolen most of the pillows.

"What the hell?" the blonde asked and walked to the side of the bed, glaring at the mound of fabric. The redhead gave him a satisfied smirk. "Share," Roxas ordered and leaned over to tug on one of the pillows.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice," Axel said with a light chuckle and surrendered them over. "I only need one, but you can't blame a guy for trying."

"Well if you need more that's fine, but give me at least two," Roxas said and rearranged his portion accordingly before shoving himself under the covers. He looked out the window warily. "Are you _sure_ it's going to storm?" he asked. Axel nodded.

"I can feel the low pressure coming in, give it another hour," he said.

"You can _feel_ it?"

"You ever have a dog flip out and start whining before it's going to storm? Most mammals outside of the aquatic variety can actually feel the changes in barimetric pressure. Humans don't pay much attention unless they have joint problems or something but all the Carriers can tell just like pets can. If you don't believe me, call up Demyx or Riku and they'll probably tell you the same thing."

"Oh is that why they do that? I had no idea; I just thought they could hear the thunder before I could and they were scared of the lightning."

"Well during the storm I'm sure that's why, but beforehand it's the change in pressure."

"Interesting. Now that you mention it, my grandmother's knee used to bother her in the rainy seasons, so I guess it makes sense."

"I remember your grandmother, she was a nice lady."

"She was, she made awesome cookies," Roxas agreed before yawning. He hunkered down under the covers and settled back against the pillows. Axel reached over and twisted off the lamp and the room was plunged into darkness. He forced himself to keep to his side of the bed and squeezed his eyes closed; he waited to hear the blonde's deep breathing a couple feet away. Roxas stared up at the ceiling, watching it slowly come into focus as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. "Hey Axel?" he asked abruptly.

"Hmm?"

"Do you have really good night vision?"

"Yes I do."

"Oh. What's it like to be able to lick your nose?"

"Wait, what?"

"When you're changed. You sometimes lick your nose. What's it like?"

"I don't even realize I do it. I mean sometimes I do because it's itchy but not most of the time. Do I really do it that often?"

"No, I was just wondering. Doesn't it like… taste weird?"

"Not really, it's like if you lick your finger. It tastes like skin. I lick it to wet it, not to eat my own snot."

"Yuck."

"Well you're the one who brought it up."

"Yeah but I didn't want to get into that part."

"If it makes you feel better, my snot and your snot are two different snots. Yours is mostly dirt and mucus buildup, mine is mostly saliva. I have the added problem of human snot when I'm not in my Primal form so consider yourself lucky you only have one nose to deal with."

"Okay we can stop now. I really wasn't intending to get into a discussion about boogers. That fascination ended when I was around five."

"If you say so, Roxas. If you say so," the redhead chuckled. "Any other incredibly random questions?"

"Mm…none that I can think of," Roxas said. The first rumblings of thunder could be heard through the closed window and he tensed. Axel reached forward and put his fingertips on the blonde's forearm. Roxas forced himself to relax a little and not be a complete infant about things but it was difficult. He sighed.

"Come here," the redhead urged and Roxas looked at him for a moment before scooting over and clearing the distance between them. Axel pulled him close and tucked him under his chin. He tugged blankets higher, effectively hiding the blonde from the window and all the demons it had to offer.

"I feel really stupid," Roxas blurted. "I shouldn't be afraid of this shit anymore."

"Everybody has something they're afraid of."

"Do you?"

"I'm a part of 'everybody,' so yes."

"What is it?"

"I'm not telling."

"Oh come on," the blonde whined. He pushed away from Axel's chest so he could look at his face. "That's not fair."

"Sorry, life isn't fair," the redhead teased and gave him a glittering grin. Roxas furrowed his brows together. "I'll make you a deal."

"What's that?"

"I'll tell you my fear, if you give me a kiss," Axel said carefully, watching the blonde's expression turn blank.

"How much of a kiss are we talking?"

"Oh I'm not going to settle for anything short of amazing, so no negotiating your way out of it. My fear is a big deal to me so I'm not going to surrender it so easily."

"I'm not so sure it's worth it," the blonde huffed. "How do I know it's not something completely stupid like dust mites?"

"Do you really think I'd be afraid of dust mites?"

"No. But it could be something else and still be completely stupid." In all honesty, Roxas wanted to kiss the redhead simply because he wanted to. But if he could reap some sort of reward for it, he wanted to make sure it was worth it. It was hard to imagine that Axel would be afraid of anything, but if he said he had a fear Roxas was willing to believe him. The tension between their meager negotiations was making his heart pound and his gaze kept slipping between Axel's eyes and his lips, which were curled into such an appealing little smirk.

"Well it's not. At least I hope you don't think it's stupid otherwise I might be a little offended."

"Is it common?"

"I'm not sure. I haven't asked around."

"Is it a thing? Like being afraid of a bug or something?"

"No."

"Is it a feeling?"

"Stop it. I'm not going to tell you without proper payment," Axel ordered and gave him a small glare. He could tell he was chipping away at the blonde's resolve simply because he was so adamantly trying to guess. The Charge chewed on his lip a little in contemplation. Roxas wanted a kiss. He knew he did, but he couldn't ignore the intense feeling of nervousness he had when he thought about actually going through with it. He could tell he was over thinking things as well, which didn't help his mental debate with himself. Axel watched the blonde's eyes fly through a series of emotions and he reached up to put a hand on his cheek. The blonde startled a little, like he had forgotten the redhead was there and the Carrier couldn't help but smile. "Did you want some help?" he asked, hoping Roxas' stubbornness wouldn't get in the way.

"Please," Roxas squeaked, surprising himself with how difficult he was making it. Axel wanted very much to smother the blonde for being so damn flustered and adorable but he held back. He pulled the blonde's chin up and planted a chaste peck against his lips, watching his expression closely. Other than turning about fifteen different shades of pink, Roxas was fine and took a moment to gather himself before going back for more. He pushed himself up a little so they were face to face before gently brushing his lips over Axel's again. The redhead stole a quick peck before he could feel his chest burst and Roxas smiled a little before pulling him back and pressing them together properly.

The knot in Roxas' gut slowly untied itself the longer he could feel Axel's lips against his and he breathed a sigh of relief through of his nose when it was gone. He was half-expecting fire and brimstone to begin hailing down on them like his parents had always told him, but he knew that was irrational. It would be bubbling up from the ground if it was going to happen and since he couldn't smell his carpet catching on fire, he concluded that this was okay and it was safe. Axel could feel the blonde relax and his heart did an elated flip with the little victory. Before they could get very far though, a flash of lightning illuminated the room and a deep rumble shook through the window, causing Roxas to startle and recoil some. The redhead immediately gathered the Charge up and tucked him safely under his chin again with a wide smile plastered across his face.

"Okay you had your kiss, tell me," the blonde tried to say grumpily but he couldn't help but smile and ruin it.

"What? That's it? That was hardly anything," the redhead said.

"What do you mean 'that's it'? That was a kiss, now you owe me an answer."

"I'm not going to say it was terrible, because it wasn't but it certainly wasn't what I wanted, and thus, no confession," he said matter-of-factly.

"How much did you want?" the blonde asked, trying to push away again so he could see Axel's face but the redhead held him in place.

"Did you want a list?" he chuckled and Roxas blushed a little.

"No, I was just wondering what you were expecting."

"How much are you giving?"

"…I'm not sure."

"Well when you give me a satisfying kiss, I'll let you know and then I'll tell you."

"What do I get for what I gave you, then?"

"That's a good question. I guess I can withhold any teasing I was going to give you for being afraid of the storm," the redhead said. Roxas grumbled under his breath and Axel laughed a little. "Don't sound so disappointed."

"Yeah well I'm more than a little disappointed," he sighed. "This fear better be something amazing."

"I think it's a pretty good one."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Roxas' 'sleep' that evening was more like an erratic pattern of snoozing in between thunder claps. They talked a bunch of small talk for as long as Axel could hold out, but eventually the redhead couldn't keep his eyes open any longer and drifted off, leaving the blonde to huddle against him. Roxas didn't hold it against him though, he would've loved to have fallen asleep right along with him, but the sky had other plans. So instead he focused on the sounds of Axel's deep breathing and the way he could feel the rise and fall of the Carrier's chest against his forehead.

Morning came, but the storm persisted. The slight change in the lighting outside hardly made a difference in terms of calming Roxas' fear but at least he could see a little better. He pushed away from Axel's warmth and sat up and tried to make out what was going on through the glass of the dome outside. The sky wasn't blue but a dusty brown. He couldn't see the wind billowing around very well but he could hear it just fine. He considered the structural integrity of the dome and wondered what would happen if one of the glass octagons broke and suddenly wasn't there anymore. He was sure the city had some precautionary measures to prevent that but he wondered all the same. He would have to ask Axel later.

Roxas startled and let out a surprised yelp when there was a sudden fervent banging on his door. Axel's eyes shot open as well and he was awake in an instant, sitting up and recapturing his breath. It took the blonde a moment to understand that it wasn't the sky that was coming to kill him and he groaned at whoever it was. The redhead took the hint and went to answer it. Once he pulled the door open, they were both greeted by a very distressed and sleep deprived Leon.

"What's wrong?" Axel asked with immediate concern, though his voice was still laced with sleep.

"The others haven't come back yet," he said, referencing to the rest of the Carriers and their Charges.

"Well yeah, have you seen the weather?"

"No, I mean they were supposed to be back yesterday evening, before all this shit started."

"Did you call Ansem?"

"He won't answer," Leon said and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. Roxas pushed himself from his bed and went to look around Axel. The other Carrier tried to give him a small smile in greeting but it was overly forced and looked more like a sneer. "I don't know what to do," he said.

"Where's Cloud?" Axel asked.

"I left him with the kids, he was able to fall sleep but I've been up all night waiting for them."

"Do you have clearance to go back and check on them when the weather calms down?"

"We're not supposed to go back without a Technician."

"But if Ansem won't answer your calls, why should you wait? What if something happened?"

"Don't say that, I don't want to think about it," Leon said quietly and ran a shaky hand over his face.

"But it might be the truth. For now though you can't do anything until the storm is gone. Try to eat something and get a little bit of sleep. Did you need me to do something?" the redhead asked. Leon took a moment to think but shook his head.

"No, I'm just…I don't know. I guess I'm a little fried."

"Have you guys tried going to Ansem's house?"

"Not yet. I suppose we could, couldn't we?"

"Yeah. I don't know if he's home but it's worth a shot. Before you do that you need to get some food and sleep, like I said. Come get me if you think of something for me to do," the redhead said. Leon wearily pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed before nodding some.

"You're right. If it does come to us having to go back, will you come with us?" he asked and Axel looked to Roxas. The blonde shrugged.

"Is it up to me? I hardly understand what's happening," Roxas said.

"So long as you're okay with it, I don't have a problem helping out. I'm sure Demyx will be willing to go too. Probably not Riku though, it'd be too hot for him," Axel said.

"It might be too hot for you too, now that I think about it," Leon said. The redhead made a ' _pffft_ ' noise and waved a hand dismissively.

"Plains, jungle. Potay-to, potah-to," he said. "Heat, I can deal with. Snow, is less so. Riku is the snow bunny."

"Yeah I know but this is a different kind of heat and…whatever. I can't argue the specifics with you right now, I'm so fucking tired," Leon groaned and mashed his palms into his eyes.

"You can have Roxas' bed, it's quite comfy."

"I have my own, thanks."

"Seriously, who says I want to share?" the blonde said and gave Axel a glare. The redhead shrugged.

"So I'm the exception?" he asked and gave the Charge a sly grin. Roxas blushed a little but couldn't argue the truth so he kept his mouth shut. Leon took in a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh.

"Okay. I feel a little better. I'm going to go see if I can get some sleep."

"Alright. You know how to find me," Axel said. Leon nodded before waving a little and leaving. The redhead closed the door again and turned to his Charge, looking him over with a mischievous glint in his eye. Roxas looked back at him with a blank face.

"What?" the blonde asked.

"Don't like to share, huh?"

"Not with unfamiliar people."

"I'm familiar now?"

"Familiar enough."

"Oh well good," Axel said smugly and made his way back to the bed, sliding between the covers and purposefully taking up most of the space.

"Now wait a minute…"

"Is there a problem?" the redhead asked innocently. A loud rumble of thunder rolled through and the blonde flinched a little before forcing himself to take a deep breath. "Aww…" Axel cooed and moved around so Roxas could lie down. The Charge sent him a defiant glare before grumbling angrily and taking his place in the bed again. The redhead immediately pulled him close and kissed the top of his head. "Don't worry Roxas, I'll save you from the dust," he said. The blonde punched him in the chest.

"You said you wouldn't tease me," he huffed.

"I did? Oops," Axel said, totally unfazed by the abuse.

"Asshole."

"Maybe later, try to get some sleep," the redhead said and rubbed the blonde's back. Roxas' cheeks turned a little pink at the insinuation, but he chose to ignore it for now in favor of trying to keep his eyes closed and letting himself drift away.

* * *

The storm eventually calmed somewhere around lunch time. Axel's stomach gurgled in protest from not having eaten anything all day but he couldn't make himself get up and disturb Roxas, who had fallen asleep only a few hours before. He himself drifted in and out of partial consciousness, wishing he could fall completely asleep instead of settling for cat naps but it was difficult. He wasn't tired anymore, just bored. The blonde hadn't moved or done anything interesting for a while now to entertain him and he was growing restless. His stomach growled again and he pouted. If this was the way it was going to be every stormy season, then he felt he should probably settle for calling it his vacation time because he certainly wasn't getting much done. He didn't mind the lack of working so much as the lack of food, but it was still tedious.

He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to do something. Anything. He chewed on his bottom lip a little and ran a careful fingertip under Roxas' nose in between his nostrils and the blonde's brows furrowed together. Axel smiled a little, having found a new game. He grazed his fingernail ever so gently across the blonde's cheek and down his face, causing Roxas' nose to scrunch up and his cheek to twitch. Axel moved to gently pushing the hairs of the blonde's eyebrows around and that was enough for Roxas to reach up and grab his finger, making a disgruntled face for a moment.

Roxas peeled an eye open to a view of Axel's face being partly skewed by the palm of his hand. The redhead looked far to pleased with something and the blonde was instantly suspicious. He then realized he had the Carrier's finger clasped in his hand which only made his suspicion grow. When Axel realized that Roxas was awake his smiled spread into a lopsided grin.

"Sorry, I got bored and was playing with your face," he admitted.

"…That's a really weird way to wake up, you know," the blonde muttered.

"I can only imagine. Feel free to go back to sleep, I was completely entertained."

"I don't even remember falling asleep to begin with," Roxas said sleepily. He certainly felt like he could sleep for several days but he felt he probably shouldn't since it was obvious that the sun was high in the sky and it was the middle of the day. "What time is it?"

"I have no idea but I'm starving so it's probably around lunch time."

"You didn't eat anything?" he asked and Axel shook his head. Roxas pushed himself up and lazily reached over to his night stand and pick up his watch. He rubbed an eye while his free hand fiddled with the buttons. "Oh fuck it's like two o'clock."

"Okay so _after_ lunch time."

"How long was I out?"

"A few hours? I don't know. I fell asleep for a little bit but then I was awake for a little while too," the redhead said and shifted around, stretching himself out. The blonde turned some and flopped back into the pillows.

"I feel like a slug," he groaned into the stuffing. Axel reached over and shoved his palm into the blonde's face abruptly, smooshing his cheek around, feeling him.

"No you don't. You feel like a Roxas," he said and the slug smacked his hand away.

"That was uncalled for and really corny."

"Yuck. Corn."

"I like corn."

"You would."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you like corn."

"…Oh," the blonde deadpanned. Axel tried to run his fingers through his hair but got them hopelessly tangled and gave up quickly. "You should probably eat something," Roxas said. The redhead nodded without looking at him.

"I should do a lot of things like taking shower and brushing my teeth too, but I'm really not feeling the whole moving idea right now," he remarked and let himself fall back onto the bed. He rolled onto his stomach and pulled a mass of pillows into his face, heaving a sigh. His stomach growled again, letting him know who was really in charge and he groaned. "It takes so much effort to like… eat," he muttered. Roxas snorted.

"Wow. Having a rough day?"

"A lazy day, really. I spent most of it in your bed, why not just sleep through the rest of it?"

"I agree, but I don't think we should."

"I know. I'm working on it," Axel said and stretched a little more before pushing himself up again. Roxas remained twisted at a strange angle with his face in a pillow, blinking at the wall with heavy and hazy eyes. Getting up after such a terrible night's sleep was not feeling very good. The redhead stood and reached for the ceiling, stretching wide and letting his joints shift around and wake up. "I'm too old for this shit," he muttered, feeling the constant stiffness all over his body.

"Can you imagine how Riku feels? Isn't he like… twice as old as you are?"

"More than that, but yeah," Axel agreed and turned to look at the blonde. "Are you not getting up?"

"I'm considering it. Give me a minute."

"I can just pick you up, strip you, and throw you in the shower if you're having problems."

"Let's not get hasty."

"Okay. I'm not waiting for you though, I need to eat."

"I'll be along eventually," Roxas said and pushed himself around groggily. Axel snorted in doubt but took the blonde at his word and left quietly. It took the blonde over twenty minutes, but he was eventually able to pull himself from his bed and flop into the shower to start his day.

* * *

By the time evening rolled around, no one had seen hide nor hair of Leon and Cloud. There was an overall feeling of concern for them, but Demyx kept his head held high for the sake of his friends and strolled around the facility giving everyone smiles and high fives when they were called for. He shoved his way into Axel and Roxas' lab, causing the pair to startle some. The blonde was sitting at the Catalogue terminal with a text book, and Axel was nearly buried in a sea of Petri dishes and slides at his desk. Demyx slid across an exam table on his stomach and lay flat, watching them.

"Hey guys," he said, ignoring the blatant disruption he was causing.

"Hi," they said in tandem.

"What're you doing?"

"Roxas is studying, I'm trying to distract myself," Axel said flatly.

"From what?"

"Whatever it is Leon and Cloud are doing. Have you heard anything?"

"No. Nothing at all. I was planning on going over to the enclosure to see if they were there and if not, head to their house," the sandy blonde said.

"What about Zexion?"

"Oh he's in stasis. He won't care," Demyx said and waved a hand.

"Aw, you lonely?"

"Terribly so, can I bunk with you tonight?"

"I don't see why not," Axel said and shrugged.

"Yay sleepover," the other Carrier said unenthusiastically. He sighed a little, his happy spirit draining and laid his cheek on the table. Roxas listened quietly, his book forgotten, and couldn't help but feel a little put out. He had considered asking Axel to spend the night again but wasn't about to invite Demyx along for the ride.

"Call me when you guys decide to go find Cloud and Leon, I want to ask Sora something," the blonde said abruptly and closed his book. Axel watched him leave with a curious brow, but decided not to pry.

"Okaaay…" Axel trailed when the Charge was gone. "So how's the peanut?" he asked and Demyx brightened considerably.

"She's doing well so far. Her Implant is coming along nicely too and if everything goes according to our schedule, we should have it finished when she's ready to transfer in."

"Excellent."

"Have you guys made any progress?"

"Not really, but I didn't expect to so quickly. Roxas is still learning and he really wants to be a part of everything so I'm sort of holding back until he's ready to participate."

"Ah. Well that's noble of you. How's it going on the emotional front? I don't talk to him so I can tell if he's lightening up at all."

"He is. He's a lot better, actually. I'm a little surprised; I didn't expect him to turn around so quickly."

"Quickly? He's been here for months. It's about damn time he pulled the tree out of his ass," the sandy blonde grumped.

"I guess I haven't been paying attention to the time."

"I did notice that he doesn't give you weird looks when you're eating anymore, though."

"See? Progress."

"Minimal progress. Riku and Sora are light years ahead of you guys."

"Yeah well…what else is new?" the redhead asked sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

"True that."

* * *

It's a very awkward situation when one goes off to find a sibling and finds him in the bed with another man, half naked, and braiding the other's hair. That was the scene Roxas found Sora in, with the brunette sitting upright in his bed with Riku half draped over his legs and his hands in the silvery follicles. The blonde blinked at them for a moment, lips pursed. The Carrier seemed to be sleeping but Roxas wasn't naïve enough to actually believe he was. At the very least they both had pants on, which was the saving grace of the situation but he was still having a hard time striking up a conversation with his brother.

"What's up?" Sora asked with total disregard for his brother's uneasiness.

"Uh…I was hoping to ask you some stuff but I can come back."

"If that's what you want, but we're not doing anything."

"Did you want me to leave?" Riku asked, his eyes sliding open.

"I don't want to disturb you guys too much, I can come back," Roxas said quickly and made to leave. Before he could pull the door all the way closed, it was tugged open again and Riku walked out, patting him on the head as he passed.

"Don't worry about it, he was your brother before he was my Charge," he said as he left. The blonde couldn't help but agree and smile a little at how polite Riku was most of the time. He made his way into Sora's room and sat on the bed.

"Sorry to uh…disrupt whatever it was you were doing," the blonde said.

"I said we weren't doing anything, and we weren't," the brunette insisted, he pulled his legs up and folded them under himself. "So what did you need?"

"Well first off I want to know if you guys heard about Cloud and Leon and if you knew anything that Axel and Demyx don't."

"Riku says they went back home, other than that we have no idea."

"Oh. Damn, I'm really curious," the blonde sighed.

"How're things with you and Axel?"

"Awkward. That was the other thing I want to talk about."

"I had a feeling," Sora said and smiled wide.

"How did you and Riku manage to make so much progress so quickly?"

"We're not what you think we are, probably. We're screwing, not getting married."

"Yeah well that's more than what I have right now," Roxas huffed, remembering how hard it was to give Axel a damn kiss let alone anything else.

"Did you want more than that or something? Or have you guys not even screwed yet?"

"Hardly. I nearly had a heart attack trying to give him an awful kiss last night," the blonde said and pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them, glaring a hole into Sora's carpeting.

"Awful? Is he that bad?"

"No, it was bad because I let it be bad. He said it was fine but I don't believe him. It was barely satisfying."

"That's funny."

"In a way it is. It shouldn't be this hard. Having a girlfriend wasn't even this hard, what's my problem?"

"You don't adjust well to change, dude. You're used to girls and suddenly you want a guy, it's different."

"I suppose… you didn't have any issues with Riku like this though?"

"Well he came on to me; I didn't have to do hardly anything other than accept it so I haven't been in your shoes," the brunette said. Roxas groaned and flopped over, pressing his face into his brother's comforter. He tried not to think of the possible bodily fluids he could be laying in. He did notice however, that Sora's room was relatively flat and boring. It was pretty much as sterile as it was when they first arrived there, with the same cookie cutter furniture and layout and the same bland color scheme. Roxas had forgotten what it all looked like before he had Axel's little additions to his décor. He suddenly had a new appreciation for all the orange and black.

"Should I just treat him like a girl I want to date?" the blonde asked. "Or does that sound stupid?"

"I wouldn't go up and tell him how cute he looks in a dress or something but it couldn't hurt to try something along those lines. I'm not entirely sure how to go about doing that though without getting gender specific."

"I hear you on that. I don't know how the hell to flirt with a guy. They should have an instruction manual for this shit."

"Don't ask me, all of my flirting attempts with Kairi crashed and burned pretty terribly."

"See, girls are easier in my opinion. They wear jewelry and nice shoes and stuff you can compliment to get their attention. All the guys here wear the same damn thing and it's really weird to compliment them on how nice their fur looks or whatever without sounding like you want to fuck their Primal form," Roxas huffed. Sora laughed.

"Which brings up a good point. Is it bestiality if you think a werewolf is hot?"

"…That's a tough one."

"I know right?"

"As long as you don't think the wolf part if sexy, I think you're okay."

"Would it be weird to think your Carrier's Primal form is handsome?"

"I'm not sure. Animals are cute and all and I guess some of them could be handsome, but so long as you don't carry it over to the human part its okay. Why? Are you having a crisis with Riku's Primal or something?"

"No, I was speaking generally. Riku's too damn adorable to be handsome even if he tried. I could call Axel and Leon handsome though. That seems to fit them better."

"True," the blonde agreed. "Just don't jerk off to pictures of snow leopards and I don't think you have anything to concern yourself with."

"Ew, dude."

"Exactly."

* * *

Demyx, Axel, Riku, Sora and Roxas stood together in front of a concrete square called a house. It didn't have a house number but rather an etched glass plate reading _Panthera Leo_. Like most of the other buildings outside of the facility, the windows were open rectangles high on the side of the dwelling rather than large panes of glass that were eye level. The particular section of the city they were in was set up as a community of Carriers rather than mixing them with the general public. There were a few houses that had numbers, signifying Technicians living there, but most of them had the name plates. Off to the side of the house, chained to a metal rail that was cemented to the building itself, was Cloud's motorcycle. They were home.

"Leon! Cloud!" Demyx yelled and banged on the door. Axel punched him in the shoulder.

"Stupid, people might be trying to sleep," the redhead spat. It was night time, and the street was illuminated by a faint glow of a few street lamps, but it wasn't too horribly late just yet. Demyx pouted at his friend and knocked a little quieter. The redhead was the only one tall enough to see into the high windows but he refused to peep inside, just in case they were doing something private. It took a moment but eventually footsteps could be heard echoing from inside and the door opened. Cloud startled at the large group.

"Whoa, that was a little unexpected," he said bluntly.

"We came to visit and see if you guys were okay," Demyx said. "You both disappeared and we didn't know what happened to you."

"We're… stressed," he said and stepped aside, pulling the door open completely and the group filtered in. The house was just as small inside as it looked from the outside. The entry way opened up right into the living room and dining room that had little to no decoration other than the furniture. There was a seating arrangement around a coffee table, with white chairs and a couch with metal frames, flanked by two floor lamps. The dining set across the room was small with four metal chairs surrounding a round glass table with a metal base. Behind a half wall was the kitchen. The counter space was limited and was mostly taken up by a sink and what looked to be a coffee maker. There was an overly large refrigerator though and a stove, but not much else. Behind the kitchen was a sloped wall that followed the line of a staircase upwards to what Roxas assumed would lead to the bedroom and possibly a bathroom. The floors were tile and incredibly smooth underneath a deep gray rug that covered most of the open floor space and the walls were concrete. The blonde doubted there was much separating the inner walls from the outer walls since they seemed relatively continuous. Over all though, it wasn't dilapidated and looked well taken care of. It was just bland and colorless. Roxas and Sora stood around looking at everything and absorbing the surroundings but Demyx and Axel took a seat on the couch while Riku took a chair. "Leon!" Cloud called up the staircase. Roxas went and took the available seat next to Axel and Sora helped himself to sitting on Riku.

"What?" Leon called back grumpily. There were heavy footsteps from overhead and suddenly the Carrier's voice was a lot louder as he made his way down the stairs. "What the hell do you want now?'

"Don't get your balls in a knot, people are here," the Charge spat.

"Yeah?" Leon asked and peeked down under the line of the ceiling that concealed part of the staircase.

"No, I'm fucking lying, didn't you hear Demyx?"

"I don't pay attention to your bullshit."

"It's not my bullshit you should've been listening to, it was Demyx's."

"It's true," Demyx said with a smile.

"Well I don't pay attention to his bullshit either," Leon huffed and made his way down the stairs completely. The sandy blonde laughed a little, taking no offense. "Hello everyone," Leon finally greeted properly. Cloud rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen to clatter about in the cabinets.

"How're things?" Axel asked. Leon took the open chair and heaved a sigh.

"Stressful. We haven't been able to make contact with Ansem but we did manage to talk to Saïx. He wasn't much help and basically told us to go fuck ourselves."

"Actually, he said something along the lines of 'I don't help disgusting animals, I make money off of them. You're out of my jurisdiction so fuck off,'" Cloud said and produced several drinking glasses, setting them on the counter top. He then moved to the refrigerator.

"Right," Leon agreed. "Nobody knows anything and it's getting old. If Saïx was so easy to piss off just by us asking for help, I'm almost afraid to leave the dome and go back to the ecosystem to figure it all out, you know? I only have clearance when a Technician is with me and if I break the rules they might break my legs."

"What do they expect you to do?" Riku asked. "You'd think they'd care more about this."

"I know. For us, it's personal but for them they should at least be interested in protecting their investments," Leon said. Cloud pulled a glass jug from the refrigerator and began pouring the liquid contents into a few of the glasses. It was milk. Demyx's eyes glittered as he watched the Charge work and Roxas couldn't help but smile a little. At the facility the Carriers only ever got water to drink so the blonde could imagine the novelty of a glass of milk. "Nobody will even say if they know about them being gone or if they're looking into it or leading a search or anything," he continued and rubbed his brows.

"Where are the kids?" Axel asked.

"Tifa and Zack volunteered to watch them tonight along with a few of Tifa's girlfriends."

"Oh, well that was nice of them," the redhead remarked and Leon nodded. Cloud rounded the half wall and picked up two of the glasses and handed them off to Axel and Demyx before taking the last one over to Riku.

"Sora, Roxas, did you two want something different?" he asked. The brothers exchanged looks and shrugged together. "We have juice, water, milk obviously and beer."

"They're kids, Cloud," Leon chided.

"They're legal, Leon," Cloud mocked.

"I didn't even know beer existed here, like in this dome anyway," Roxas said and raised a brow.

"Technicians like to drink," the taller blonde said and shrugged a little. "The drinking age everywhere is actually sixteen."

"Eighteen," Leon corrected.

"Really? When did they change it?" Cloud asked.

"Like thirty years ago."

"…Don't fuck with me."

"I'm serious."

"Where was I?"

"I have no idea. Do you even remember what you had for breakfast?"

"I didn't have breakfast this morning."

"Well at least you can do that much."

"Anyway," Cloud continued giving Leon a sideways glare, "yes, beer exists and you both can have some if you want."

"I'll take one," Roxas accepted readily.

"I'll have some juice," Sora said. Cloud nodded and headed back into the kitchen.

"What nothing for me?" Leon asked, following his Charge around with his line of sight.

"Get your own shit; you have legs," Cloud spat. Axel snorted a little into his glass.

"Apparently I was mistaken when I thought you could be useful," Leon muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing," Leon dismissed with a wave of his hand.

"That's what I thought," Cloud huffed.

"What do you need us to do for you?" Axel asked, returning to the original topic. Cloud returned and handed off a glass of apple juice to Sora and a clear glass bottle to Roxas. The blonde looked the container over. He was used to brown bottles, but the label very clearly said 'beer' and what dome it was brewed in and the liquid inside was amber so he didn't doubt the sincerity of the beverage but it was still a little foreign. He twisted off the top and gave it a taste. He coughed.

"Whoa," he rasped at the strong taste and squinted at the label again. He didn't know what a 'barl-falfa' was, but whoever decided it made good beer was probably a little screwed in the head and like their beer to be extra potent. The taste was closer to whiskey than it should have been and it burned his nose a little. The aftertaste was quite pleasant though and he guessed that's what people drank it for. That, or Cloud was a raging alcoholic behind closed doors.

"I honestly have nothing for you to do unless you all wanted to babysit while Cloud and I go back to the ecosystem. There isn't much we can do yet," Leon said, keeping the conversation on track. "We're going to keep trying Ansem until we get an answer but hopefully they'll come back on their own before we need to do anything drastic."

"You guys don't have any way of contacting them?" Roxas asked and took another sip. Leon shook his head.

"Domes don't bode well for cell phones and there aren't exactly Catalogue terminals attached to the trees out there. We're kind of dead in the water so to speak."

"How far is the ecosystem?" Demyx asked, finishing his glass of milk and setting it on the coffee table.

"A little over twelve hours by ground," Leon said. Cloud pulled a chair over from the dining set and sat next to him.

"Oh wow. Damn," the sandy blonde said.

"Mine's two days away," Axel said.

"A week for mine," Riku said.

"Oh…" Demyx trailed. "Well fine, blame me for not paying attention."

"We do," the other two Carriers said together. Demyx pouted and wrung his hands together with furrowed brows.

"I can babysit," Axel offered. "Just let me know."

"Thanks, but we're not prepared to make any commitments yet," Leon said. Cloud's expression drooped some and he sighed, watching the floor.

"I want to go there. Now," he said.

"I do too but it's not possible until we ask someone or at least tell them our intentions."

"Fuck protocol."

"I agree, the whole system is backwards," Roxas chimed. He took another swig of his beer and set it down. "The Technicians want you guys to do the work and get results. That much I understand. But when the projects are put to a standstill because of unforeseen circumstances, you'd think they'd be a little more upset about it and keep you informed."

"They don't care about us until something happens to us personally. They don't technically have to tell us the business of anyone else of our kind because it isn't stopping us from doing our work directly. We're supposed to be at the facility slaving away over a pair of sperm right now but we're not," Leon said.

"But it still matters," the blonde insisted.

"I know it does. Believe me but they don't see it that way."

"We're _things_ , Roxas. They forget we have feelings like everyone else does," Axel said.

"I know, I know. You've told me a million times what they think of you all but it still pisses me off to no end," Roxas huffed. "The very least they could do is give you all some way to contact one another."

"That'd be nice," Riku said.

"It's like some sick tease," Demyx said. "They give us life and keep us healthy in the facilities, give us homes of our own if we work hard enough, but then they take away all the other freedoms we have and treat us like garbage," he sighed. There were nods in agreement all around. Suddenly there was a loud telephone ringing that sounded like an old rotary phone and Cloud and Leon startled. They looked to one another before Leon pushed himself up from his seat and jogged upstairs. The ringing persisted for a moment before the Carrier could be heard through the ceiling talking in a low voice.

"I hope that's Ansem," Cloud said quietly. An uneasy silence fell over the entire group as every ear was strained to pick up pieces of conversation from the room above. Leon's voice stopped at random intervals, listening to the other party but his tone never fluctuated to give a clue as to what the nature of the call was about. After what seemed like an eternity, the talking ceased and Leon was quiet for a long while. Cloud lost his patience and stomped up the stairs. Roxas and Axel looked at each other, the worry evident on both of their faces.

"What do you think happened?" Demyx asked quietly. Sora set his glass of apple juice on the table and leaned back against Riku who rested his face on the brunette's shoulder with a blank expression.

"Judging by how quiet they are? Nothing good," Axel said. Roxas furrowed his brows. Cloud and Leon's voices could be heard overhead as they talked amongst one another. Neither of them sounded angry or upset. They sounded blank. Hollow; as if the life had been sucked from them and the lack of emotion made it seem so much worse. Everyone downstairs held a collective breath as the sounds of movement resonated as one of them started to pace. After a few laps, the walking stopped and there was a ' _thud_ ' against the floor and a light sobbing. "Oh shit," Axel said. "That's Leon," he said quickly and was up in and instant and heading up the stairs. Roxas opened his mouth to speak but Demyx cut him off.

"Leon hasn't cried in about twenty years. Not since they had to abort the little toddler Carrier," the sandy blonde said flatly staring straight ahead. Roxas blinked and looked to Sora who seemed visibly upset as he mulled the information over.

The redhead gently pushed Leon and Cloud's bedroom door open and was presented with a room that was just about as bland as everything else in the house. They had all the basic furnishings though and a few personal items scattered about on the various surfaces making it feel a little homier than the rest of the building. The Catalogue terminal in the far corner was still on from its recent use but the most important part of the environment was the pair huddled on the floor together.

"Guys? What happened?" Axel asked quietly, and stepped inside. Cloud had Leon pulled to his chest and the Carrier's shoulders shook lightly with his near-silent sobs with his face in his hands. The Charge tried to speak several times and only succeeded in letting out a crack of his voice before he was finally able to spit it out.

"Seven kids. Three Carriers. Five Charges. Dead," he said in a monotone and stared straight into the wall. Axel's mouth dropped open. "Five of the remaining Carriers were shipped off to the next dome over for treatment for their wounds and the other three will be home in the morning with the six remaining Charges. The nine surviving kids are going to be left at the ecosystem," he continued. Leon sucked in a hoarse breath and he hugged Cloud abruptly, hiding his face against the Charge's chest. The redhead was speechless. The taller blonde looked to him with darkened eyes. "Tell everyone else for us will you? Just leave the dishes in the living room and I can handle it later but I think we need to be alone for a while," he said and all Axel could think to do was nod and close the door. He stared at the door for a moment, his mind hazing over. He swallowed thickly and padded back down the stairs.

"We need to go," he said quietly and everyone gaped at him.

"What happe—" Demyx started but Axel held up a hand and stopped him.

"Put the cups in the sink. We need to go," he repeated. Roxas didn't hesitate and started to clean up quickly, taking Axel's serious face as a sure sign that something bad happened. Once they were all outside and walking back towards the facility, Axel took a deep breath.

"Can we know now?" Demyx asked. The redhead nodded.

"Poachers."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Leon and Cloud didn't come back to the facility for several days. The remaining able bodied Carriers and Charges of their group all piled into their tiny house to mourn and spend some quality time together. Their remaining population (not including Charges) had a giant hole in it with only eight living Carriers and thirteen natural lions. Nine of those lions were to remain at their ecosystem and all everyone else could do was hope that they could survive long enough for the youngest cub, the little male, to come of age so he could join them and help repopulate.

The greatest blow that was dealt to them was the death of Kale, the only other male Carrier aside from Leon. The entire project ground to a halt. Suddenly the focus was redirected into stabilizing the Carrier population again which meant it would be several years, possibly even decades before they could refocus on cubs again. Several of the female Carriers were left without Charges and they needed to regroup and start again as well. Five decades worth of work, dedication, and love was wiped out in the span of a few days due to human greed.

Poachers were described to Roxas as more like bandits than anything else. They were relatively organized and part of an underground system of commerce much like the Black Market. Carrier and natural apex predator pelts were prized amongst the dregs of human society sometimes fetching close to billions of Credits for a single one. The Poachers themselves were generally male, middle aged, and highly intelligent. They usually wore masks and non-descript clothing, and rode into the ecosystem domes on supply trucks as stowaways or were smart enough to know how to operate the gates and get in manually.

They didn't discriminate. If there were natural animals around a group of humans, it most likely meant they were Carriers with their release group. They gunned down everyone; Charges, Carriers and naturals alike, worrying about who was what later and pulled away the dead and dying quickly, leaving the stragglers behind to clean up the damage. Whenever there was a mass death involving a group of Carriers and their natural offspring where there were survivors, it usually meant Poachers were the culprits. Anything else, including issues with the simulated weather in the domes, some sort of contamination, or a single death amongst many, meant that it wasn't usually man made murder.

The deaths were usually done in a matter of minutes, giving little time for the Carriers to regroup and attack back. They generally got so wrapped up in protecting their Charges and offspring right away that they don't even focus on the cause. The Poachers knew this, and that was their tactic behind every instance. A Blitzkrieg way of doing things, as the case may have it. Get in, get done, get out; even if it left survivors and was a little sloppy.

The biggest issue that didn't sit right with Roxas was the way they got in an out undetected. Sure, getting in may be a little easier but if one is toting several hundred pounds of dead weight on the way out, it would make things a little more obvious. Not only that, but the timing was a little too close to the lion's release. He thought it should've at least taken a few months for the Poachers to become aware that there were new lions to find, but it was almost parallel with their release. He didn't like it, but he wasn't insensitive enough to start a debate with anyone so quickly after it all happened. He got the basic questions out of the way and Axel answered them as best as he could, so he was satisfied for a few days after their visit with Cloud and Leon. Eventually though, the gnawing of the unknown variables started to pick at him the longer he was left in the dark.

"Axel is the most prized right now," Demyx said, tilting his chair back and balancing it precariously against the tiles of the lab floor. "Riku is up there too but he's a sub species. Axel is a pureblood and the only one of his kind so he's top shit as far as the felines go."

"Goody, let's take me to market and buy you a dome of your own with the money," the redhead muttered sarcastically. Demyx snorted.

"I wouldn't kill you; I'd just keep you around to entertain me all day. You can just sit in the corner in your Primal form and look pretty for me. I don't need dead skin on my walls."

"That's really morbid," Roxas said and raised a suspicious brow at the sandy blonde. Demyx shrugged.

"I'm just playing the devil's advocate. I'm not really that terrible but I can understand both sides of the situation even if I'm not on their team. You know what I read somewhere? That after a large poaching like this, the number of purchases in stasis treatments shoot up suddenly. That tells me that some fat middle aged human guy and his buddies don't want to die yet, and would rather go out and kill something else to make enough money to pay for another twenty years of useless existence. That to me is bullshit," Demyx said. "I bet they don't even have a fucking education. All you need now-a-days is a damn gun and you can become a billionaire overnight."

"They should do a background screening of everyone that wants to have a stasis treatment," Axel added. "It's a free for all anymore. Some disgusting rapist can get one just as easily as a nun can."

"Seriously!" Demyx cried in agreement.

"I have kind of a sensitive question," Roxas said quietly. Axel and Demyx gave him their attention. "Why do the Poachers aim for everyone? You'd think they'd pay attention only to the Carriers in their Primal forms and the natural offspring. Why shoot the Charges and the Implants?"

"You can force a Carrier to change even after they're dead the same way the Technicians can force us normally. There's a sensor that picks up our change code signal at the base of our skulls hooking into the Link," Axel started and pushed his hair away from his ear, flicking the silver stud that sat in his lobe, "whenever I press this, it sends my change code to the sensor that lets my Link know it's time to change. The remote access the Technicians have is essentially the same thing but when my model number is used to activate it, that's when it happens really quickly and it hurts. Once a Carrier dies though, the sensor is deactivated and cannot be used remotely. But a Poacher who's proficient enough can use the Link hookup in our teeth to restart the system enough and force us to change that way even if we're dead. They find the model number of whomever, and use it the same way the Technicians do so it doesn't matter what form we're in when we die, they can still get our pelts."

"Oh. But what does that have to do with the Charges?"

"I can only assume that they got in the way or were trying to fight back somehow, I don't really know. Or, the Poachers don't understand that Charges wear normal clothes and Carriers don't, so they worry about sorting it out later," the redhead said and shrugged.

"Oh…" Roxas trailed. "So even after they kill you, the Poachers have to basically strip and violate you guys to get your model numbers."

"Yes, can we stop talking about it now?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just trying to get the entire picture," he amended. "Where do the female's keep their model numbers by the way?"

"Inside the folds of their genitals somewhere, generally inside the labia majora," Axel said flatly.

"Speaking of vagina's, I wonder how long mine needs to cook before he's finished," Demyx blurted. "I forgot when I put him in the tube."

"Wait what?" Roxas asked. Axel laughed.

"Zexion's in stasis remember?" the redhead said.

"Zexion is Demyx's vagina?"

"May as well be, I guess."

"He totally is. He's such a bitch," Demyx said with a grin.

"How is he a bitch? I've barely heard him talk," the blonde said.

"Everyone has two sides. One they present to the general public and one they present to the people they're most comfortable with. Only I can understand the way Zexion really is because he's only himself when we're by ourselves. I call him a bitch out of affection though, I love it," the sandy blonde said. "When he's around other people he's about as dry and cranky as Leon is with an extra scoop of boring, though."

"Really? I don't think he's boring. I think he's the most normal one out of everyone I've met here, except maybe Tifa. Aside from her huge boobs, she's pretty normal," Roxas remarked. Demyx laughed. Axel snorted.

"I'm supposed to go relieve her of babysitting duty tonight, by the way," the redhead said. "Care to join me?" he asked, raising a brow at his Charge. Roxas shrugged.

"I guess. What else am I going to do?"

"I don't know; whatever it is you want to do, really. Study? Sleep?"

"What all is involved in babysitting?"

"If you come with, I can show you."

* * *

The family enclosure that housed the four lion cubs was what amounted to a concrete awning that opened up into a large patch of fenced in grass. Underneath the awning was a heat lamp and several cushions pushed together that had all of the cubs sleeping on them in a tight furry pile. Scattered around the grassy area were a few toys that had been recently played with and various things to climb on as well as Zack, who was lying on his back and watching the top of the dome with his hands folded behind his head. There was a large bowl of water surrounded by a patch of soft dirt in the far corner, as well as a mound of hay. The enclosure itself was located just outside the back of the female part of the facility, the exit of which cut through an area where the adults could mix up various meals for the offspring. On most days the cubs would hang around their mothers, but since things were in disarray, they were confided to their enclosure being completely dependant on their babysitters to entertain and take care of them.

"Where'd Tifa go?" Axel asked as he leaned on the fence, surprising Zack and making him jolt upright.

"Whoa! Don't do that!" the man gasped and held a hand over his chest. Two of the cubs peeked through heavy lids to see the disruption but no one made a move otherwise.

"Sorry," the redhead said and grinned. Roxas looked around the enclosure, taking it all in. He noticed a bulletin board above the heat lamp under the awning as well as a garbage bin next to the gate. There was a small cabinet on the other side with a latch on it. Zack took a moment to catch his breath and ran his hands through his hair a few times.

"She's getting a couple bottles together for them, are you guys here to take over?" he asked.

"Yep," the redhead said.

"Excellent. Heard anything from Leon?"

"Nothing new aside from 'we'll be back tomorrow or something.'"

"'Or something?'"

"I know right?"

"Ah well. I can understand the disorganization. I don't blame them. As far as the kids go, they've been pretty calm."

"Well good," Axel said. Roxas wasn't entirely sure how long they would be there or what all involved taking care of lion cubs, but what he did know was that he really wanted to touch one. He hoped Axel knew enough to keep him from doing something stupid, but he couldn't help the overwhelming urge to pick one up and disrupt its sleep just so he could poke and play with it. He knew lions were mostly nocturnal and he hoped they would be a little livelier once the sun started to descend. It was only a little after four o'clock and still daylight so he had a couple hours of waiting to go. His attention was drawn away from the sleeping babies to the gate as Tifa pushed it open with a hip, her arms full with two oversized plastic bottles and a large metal bowl filled with ground meat.

"Oh! Hey guys," she said cheerfully and set the bowl down next to the pile of cushions. "I didn't think you'd be here until later."

"It's already after four, what time were you expecting us?" Axel asked.

"Is it really? Oh, well never mind then," she said and smiled. "Did you want to take over or should I feed them first then get out of here?"

"I think I should show Roxas what to do, go ahead and scoot. You guys have been here long enough," the redhead said.

"I'm not going to argue," she said and laughed a little. She set the bottles next to the bowl. Zack pulled himself up from the grass and headed towards the gate. Axel pulled Roxas towards it as well and the parties switched places. "Leon left a feeding schedule on the board there, and everything else is in the cabinet. Call us if you need backup," Tifa said. She waved a little and laced her fingers with Zack's before they turned to leave. Roxas watched them go for a moment before he remembered there were fuzzy things he could pet.

"So how often do you babysit everyone's cubs?" the blonde asked. Axel plopped himself on the floor next to the cushions with his back against the wall of the awning.

"Often enough. It was mostly all Leon's kids though since he has so many. All the watching I've done has only been in the last few years though once their population really started taking off. Tifa had a litter a while back and I helped her and Zack a few times, too."

"I see," Roxas said and sat on the ground with him. "How old are they?"

"Around five weeks or something like that," Axel said and reached over to scoop one of the cubs up. He was rewarded with an unhappy grunt as the animal lay limp on his lap, trying to ignore the disturbance. "Just follow my lead," the redhead said and pointed to one of the bottles. Roxas handed it over. Axel tried to wake the cub up by pushing it around some but what ultimately got her to react was when he prodded her in the nose with his finger and she latched onto him like he was her lifeblood. He quickly replaced his finger with the bottle and she pressed a receptive paw onto the hard plastic, suckling away greedily. "Got that?" he asked and looked to Roxas. The blonde shrugged.

"Seems easy enough," he said.

"Just make sure you keep them on their stomachs and only give them half of the bottle each. After that they can stuff themselves on meat but they'll try to suck down all the formula before that."

"Okay," Roxas said and scooted across the ground to the opposite side of the cushions and wiggled his fingers around another cub before lifting it as delicately as he could. The cub was no help at all and hung limp and lifeless as well as being heavier than the blonde had expected. She was incredibly warm though and quite soft, which helped the blonde forgive her for being less than exciting. He took a moment to hold her and rub her ears a little and she stirred at the stimulation. Roxas took up the other bottle just as the cub let out a wide yawn and he shoved it into her open mouth before she had the opportunity to close it again. Axel snorted.

"That's cheating," he said.

"I like to think of it as being opportunistic," the blonde said and the cub chewed on the nipple awkwardly for a moment before realizing it's purpose and settled down to suckle.

"You're telling me you don't want to be bitten?"

"I remember one of them sucking on Cloud's finger and no, it doesn't seem like very much fun."

"Well it isn't. Which is why I'm very happy I'm not a woman; babies of any species eventually get teeth which lead to painful nipples," he said. Roxas laughed a little.

"Do the female Carriers have to breast feed?" he asked.

"They can. They're a little more complex than the males are in that their Links are actually connected into their lobules and can register what kind of pregnancy they're having and produce the right kind of milk accordingly. It depends on the person but some pump the milk and feed whatever offspring they're having through bottles and some take the risk of letting them actually latch on. Their Primal forms are able to feed as well but it's less efficient because they can't stay that way for long periods. Generally when the cubs get this big though, they all switch to formula."

"Is that why Tifa's boobs are so huge? To fit it everything in there?"

"No, Tifa just has huge boobs simply because she can, I think. I'm not really sure what's going on there. The other ladies have varying sizes though and they seem to work just fine."

"How do you know so much?" the blonde asked, a little amazed that Axel was informed enough to answer every stupid question he could come up with.

"I spent the better part of sixty years without much to do. I read a lot and got to know a lot of other Carriers and was able to have all my questions answered. What you learned in elementary school and middle school, I learned in the first three years of my life. High school stuff was another two years and then I could branch out and do my own thing. Towards the end, before I was able to watch you, I started to get serious about my research and my project but before all that, I was pretty bored and asked all the weird questions."

"You learned everything I know in five years? Why doesn't that seem fair?"

"Well I was also studying non-stop whereas you had a childhood to live."

"…I hadn't considered that."

"I was also already an adult when I was 'born,'" he added with air quotes for emphasis. He observed the bottle in his hand closely and decided it was about half empty. He pried it from the insistent cub's jaws and set it aside. He rubbed her back firmly a little and she settled against him, swaying contentedly with the motion. Roxas used his foot to nudge the metal bowl of ground meat towards him. Axel scooped the cub up and set her on the grass. He reached forward and grabbed a portion of the meat and broke it up in his fingers a little before setting it in front of her. She sniffed it for a moment before timidly picking up a few pieces and squishing it around in her mouth. The redhead plopped the rest of what was left in his hand down for her before pushing himself up and heading over to the cabinet. He opened it and pulled out a towel to wipe his hand on before closing it again and returning to his place on the ground. He scooped up another cub and restarted the entire process again with the rest of the bottle.

After all four of the cubs were fed, leaving only a little meat behind, Axel left Roxas in the enclosure to go clean up the dishes. The blonde sat in the grass with the cubs and pushed a hard plastic ball around for the little male to chase while his sisters went off to climb in the water dish and on top of the rocks and hunks of wood that were scattered around. The redhead came back with a basket of damp warm towels. He scooped up a cub on his way to sitting with Roxas and proceeded to rub her down with one of the cloths.

"What're you doing?" Roxas asked curiously.

"Well they need to get clean somehow. Would you rather I lick her?" Axel asked with a smile.

"Oh. No that's okay. I just didn't see the connection right away," the blonde said and laughed. He leaned over and pulled the male over to himself and followed suit with his own towel. The cub rubbed against his hands, willingly accepting the warmth and Roxas smiled.

"I almost want to dunk them all in a bucket of orange paint and color stripes on them so I can keep them," the redhead said wistfully. The blonde looked over and took in Axel's melancholic face as he watched the cub in his lap relax under his fingers. Roxas had come to realize that Axel only ever looked genuinely sad when he talked about cubs, or lack thereof. The blonde hadn't spent enough time around anyone else to figure out if all Carriers became sad when they thought about their lack of offspring so he couldn't say if it was a unique trait only Axel had or not, but he felt like it was.

"Are you afraid of being alone?" Roxas asked. The redhead looked at him then and they shared eye contact for a moment before he shook his head.

"No. I don't like it, but I'm not afraid of it."

"Oh," he said. He turned the cub around in his lap and wiped at his feet and legs a little before sending him on his way. Axel set his towel aside and pushed the little female out of his lap and she teetered off after her brother. Roxas leaned back on his palms and looked up, taking in the early night sky. The sun was almost completely gone and it cast an odd twilight glow across the landscape that was further distorted by the waved glass of the dome above them. He couldn't decide if it was beautiful or not, but it held a certain amount of mystery that made him wonder if he could even see the stars if he was outside.

"Do you think we can really do this?" the redhead asked quietly. Roxas looked at him and Axel was looking into his hands like he could read the world's answers in them.

"Do what?"

"This," he repeated and motioned to the cubs. "All of this. Everything involved in making this work."

"Cloud and Leon certainly have, why can't we?"

"I don't know. I just doubt it sometimes, I guess. I know it's a little late in the game to go back and say I can't but I still wonder. It seems like so much sometimes. I forget I don't really have a time limit but it's still intimidating."

"Well we haven't exactly tried hard enough to say it's impossible. We know the system works; it's just a matter of taking the time to get results."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just impatient," he said and pushed himself up again. He walked across the enclosure and scooped up the other two unclean cubs and carted them over to where Roxas was. The blonde accepted one and Axel plopped back onto the grass next to him before handing off a fresh towel. They were considerably less warm by this point but the cubs didn't seem to care too much. Roxas finished rubbing his down first and nudged the female away and she ambled off right back into the dirt to undo all of his effort. He watched Axel for a moment before scooting a bit closer and leaning against him a little. The redhead raised a brow and shifted his gaze over to Roxas when he could feel his head lay against his shoulder.

"I wouldn't worry about failure until it happens, if it happens," the blonde said matter-of-factly. He could almost feel the redhead's sadness around the whole idea of failure. Having such a sudden roadblock pop up in Cloud and Leon's project probably didn't help his uneasiness about the matter. So many years of hard work could be undone so quickly it almost made it seem like it wasn't worth it. It _was_ worth it though; to try and undo the past mistakes and give back to the world a little even if the chips were stacked against them. Axel finished with his cub and ushered her away in favor of laying his cheek against Roxas' hair.

" _If_ it happens?"

"Are you telling me we're guaranteed to fail? Aside from everyone dying, how _do_ they fail? I mean, even if the original team dies can't they just make more Carriers and start over?"

"I've never thought about that, actually. You bring up a good point."

"See? No need to worry about failure then," the blonde said triumphantly. "Besides…" he trailed and pulled out from under Axel's cheek and looked up at him, their faces barely an inch apart, "I don't do failure," he said and pressed a quick kiss to the redhead's lips before pulling away. Axel blinked and watched with stunned silence as the blonde pulled himself off the grass and calmly made his way over to one of the cubs and dropped on her, shoving her around with a hand playfully.

* * *

Babysitting wasn't a big deal. If the cubs didn't need to eat every few hours and could clean up after themselves, Axel would've probably carted the blonde off for more snuggle time a while ago. But they couldn't, so he didn't. It didn't prevent him from thinking about it though. He watched Roxas with focused hawk eyes as he moved around playing with the last cub that was refusing to curl up under the heat lamp with her siblings. The wiggly outline of the moon was high in the sky by this point and the redhead was growing impatient, his fingertips itching as he held himself back from tackling Roxas into the ground. He was beyond relieved that the blonde had finally become so comfortable around him. It was a refreshing bit of happiness amongst a lifetime's worth of stress and tension. He sighed and looked around for something to do.

He wondered how long it had been since the water in the giant dish in the grass had been changed and pushed himself off the ground to inspect. It was nearly empty anyway with clumps of dirt and fur stuck to the insides. At least, he _hoped_ that was dirt. He hefted the basin up and carried it out of the gate, passing extra close to Roxas and the last cub to make sure the blonde knew he was leaving. He quickly made his way across the open area between the enclosure and into the female building, pushing the door open with his butt and he was greeted by the galley-style prep area. No one was there at this hour and he sighed a little to himself as he got to work scrubbing the basin clean. To his relief, it was dirt inside the basin instead of the less pleasant option and he smiled to himself with the tiny victory. After the dish was clean, he washed his hands and filled it again. He grabbed a blanket off of a shelf as he passed and slung it over his shoulder before making his way back to the enclosure carefully so he didn't slosh water all over himself.

"Leon and Cloud come back tomorrow, right?" Roxas asked when he returned.

"Supposedly," he said and set the basin back in the dirt. The blonde had somehow convinced the cub to settle in with the rest of the pile under the heat lamp and Axel gave a little mental cheer for the peace and quiet. "Why?" he asked.

"No reason really. Just trying to confirm."

"Don't want to give them back?" the redhead asked and settled back under the awning. He flicked open the blanket and draped it over the blonde.

"No, I really don't," Roxas admitted and hugged the fabric around himself. "Thanks," he said. Axel smiled.

"No problem."

"Did you need some?" the blonde asked and nudged the excess towards him.

"Sure?" the redhead asked and gave him a smirk accompanied by a raised brow.

"Is it such a weird idea?"

"Have you felt how warm I am?"

"Good point. Fine, more for me then," Roxas huffed and wrapped the entire blanket around himself, feeling a little like a burrito. He scooted backwards until his back was against the wall of the awning next to Axel and leaned against it. The redhead immediately realized the problem he had created for himself. Roxas' arms and hands were wrapped up in the fabric and he didn't want them to be. He wanted them to be on him somehow. Before he could figure out how to rectify the issue, the blonde yawned and leaned over, settling his temple against his shoulder again.

"Tired?" the redhead asked.

"Just a little, I don't even know what time it is."

"It's late, definitely. Did you want to go inside? Only one of us needs to be out here to make sure they don't eat each other in their sleep."

"I'll be fine. I just feel it a little more because I'm suddenly not doing anything, you know?"

"Ah. Well did you want to do something? We could…count grass or whatever."

"That sounds _thrilling_."

"Doesn't it though?" Axel laughed. Roxas smiled and pushed himself upright again and unwrapped himself, he shoved all of the material onto Axel's lap before standing.

"I'll be right back," he said before making his way through the gate. The redhead blinked confusedly, but stayed put and watched him leave.

The blonde made his way to the female building and pushed himself inside. Once he was by himself, he took a deep breath. His heart was racing despite his efforts to calm it. He was trying his best not to seem jittery and he hoped Axel was oblivious. He made his way to the oversized sink and started to scrub his hands with vigor. Rolling around in the dirt for most of the evening and sticking his hands in raw meat and lion saliva left them feeling sticky with grime. If he was going to come in contact with the redhead, he at least wanted to have clean hands.

He wasn't letting himself think too much. He had come to the conclusion that thinking was what caused his nerves to get the better of him. He knew he wanted Axel at this point, but he was prepared to wing it the rest of the way. He was determined to not let his overly logical and methodical brain get in the way with what the rest of him wanted. At the very least he felt he needed to give Axel a satisfying kiss.

A few more deep breaths left him wishing he had a mirror. He had never felt the compulsory urge to check his hair before and he berated himself for wanting to start right then. He settled for running his fingers through it and knowing it would probably fall back into its disorganized place anyway. Despite the massive amount of playtime he had participated in, he was surprised to find his pants only a little dirty and only one spot on his shirt. He shrugged and took it a sign of goodwill from whatever heavenly body lived above this world. He forced himself back outside and into the enclosure again where he found Axel right where he left him. The redhead had slung the blanket around himself though and wore part of it like a hood over his hair.

"I thought you didn't need that," Roxas said and raised a brow.

"I don't. I wanted it," the redhead said.

"Oh. Well what am I supposed to do, then?"

"Sit with me," Axel said and opened the blanket along with his arms, parting his legs and beckoning the blonde to him. Roxas' heart did a flip but he tried not to let it show as he sat calmly and moved backwards to lean against Axel's chest. The redhead curled his legs around under Roxas' knees and enveloped him in his arms, giving him a light squeeze. The blanket billowed around them both and the redhead sighed contentedly, settling his cheek against the blonde tufts again. Roxas smiled a little.

Neither of them could think of much to say. The blonde purposefully made his mind blank out on everything that didn't concern his desires and he considered what his next move would be based on that. Axel's forearms were folded over his stomach and the blonde settled for pushing the thin red hairs around that were found on them. He was then flooded with another series of random questions but he didn't know if he should break the silence for them. Axel, on the other hand, was just happy the blonde was touching him so casually.

"So um," the blonde said.

"Hm?" was the redhead's response.

"This may sound weird, but I know your hair color changes with the Catalogue but does that mean _all_ of your hair changes at the same time? Like, if we plugged you in and I spun the dial really fast would your hair flip a shit?" he asked timidly. Axel laughed.

"That's Demyx's favorite game."

"Beat me to it did he?"

"Unfortunately, yes. But he's never done it while I was completely naked though, so that instance is free game."

"Rainbow pubes?" the blonde asked, blushing a little with the visuals. Axel snorted before laughing again and he dropped his cheek off of Roxas' head to rest his forehead against the blonde's shoulder. Roxas pushed away from him and turned some so he could see the redhead's face. Axel's laugh persisted. "What?" the blonde asked.

"I've never heard it put like that, but it's the truth!" the redhead said between breaths and he sat back. Roxas thought about it a little more before he started laughing as well. He took the opportunity to shift around and drape his legs over Axel's thigh and lean against him sideways, listening to the way the redhead's laugh reverberated through his chest. It was the laugh that the blonde could remember from Radiant Garden, the confident velvety sound that rubbed the inside of his mind just the right way and made him blush. Was he blushing back then too? He couldn't remember. He didn't care, either. They calmed some, only light giggles passing through them at irregular intervals and Roxas settled against the redhead again. Axel hugged him. "You're so funny," he said.

"I only stated the truth, apparently. You're the one with the weird hair."

"Yeah well I can't help it. At least I don't shed."

"You don't?"

"No. None of my hair does. I can pull it out but it's back by the next day."

"Why would you pull it out?"

"I meant if it gets tangled and I try to brush it or something. I don't go around pulling on it like it's a hobby, that's just stupid."

"I thought so too. So… how does it not fall out?"

"It's basically part of my skin and that doesn't shed either. Except when I change that is. Humans are gross and drop pieces of hair and skin everywhere constantly, Carriers are much cleaner in that respect," he said smugly. Roxas furrowed his brows.

"Well that's not fair," he huffed. Axel chuckled and reached up to fluff the blonde's hair around.

"It's okay. I forgive you. I like the way yours feels though. It's much nicer than mine. It's soft and it grows."

"It doesn't grow either? How does it come back when you pull it out, then?"

"It follows the blueprint of my permanent layers of skin, just like how scars work. If something little like that is missing, the Link replaces it. Obviously I'm not going to grow and arm back if it falls off or whatever but it can heal and regenerate skin and hair and things. The same thing goes for my fingernails. They don't change unless something happens to them. I can use the Catalogue to change everything around though and like…I can grow a beard if I care to or have my hair go down to my ass or something."

"Are you telling me I could customize you?" the blonde asked, sitting up straight and giving him a skeptical face. Axel shrugged.

"If you want to."

"Huh. Weird."

"Did you want to?"

"Not really."

"Oh. Well thank you," Axel said and smiled wide. Roxas reached up and flicked a piece of red hair around, contemplating. He could remember how easily Axel changed his appearance around to suit him while they were in Radiant Garden together and he wondered how far the redhead would go. The blonde didn't really want to change him around because then he wouldn't be Axel anymore, but he was curious. He dropped his hand down to feel the redhead's cheek. He knew what Axel's skin felt like already but with all the new information to process it was like he was discovering it for the first time again.

Axel reveled in the attention Roxas was giving him, as slight as it may have been. He reached up and pressed the blonde's hand firmly against his face and leaned into it, garnering a light smile from his Charge. He couldn't help but smile back. He could feel the blonde pull against his cheek some and he leaned forward enough for Roxas to push himself up and press their lips together gingerly. Axel let Roxas' hand escape from beneath his own and it slid back and around his neck to pull them closer. The redhead wrapped an arm around the blonde and pulled him close. Roxas was just about to shift around and go for more when they both froze, eyes flying wide at a sudden disturbance.

There was the sound of a light trickling of water and they pulled apart immediately and looked around. One of the female cubs had wiggled free of the sleeping pile and was urinating on the concrete less than a foot away and the puddle was slowly starting to creep towards them. Axel yelped and squashed Roxas to his chest abruptly, and scooted them both away quickly, pulling the blanket behind him and out of harms way. Once out the line of fire, they both broke down and started to laugh. Roxas sighed through his grin and held his face in one hand.

"Oh my god."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Axel blearily pulled his eyes open when he heard the sound of the gate click closed and was greeted by a pair of legs clad in black pants connected to feet that wore thick heavy combat boots. He blinked at the limbs for a moment and realized they belonged to the rest of a person and looked up, squinting against the dawning light.

"Go ahead inside, we have this," Cloud said, looking down at the redhead with a blank face. Axel's tired mind couldn't make much sense of what he said for a moment and he rubbed an eye, looking down at the cushions and found only two cubs present and sleeping. "Roxas has the other two, wake up," the Charge continued.

"Hm…?" the redhead grunted and looked across the enclosure. Roxas had curled up under the blanket on the pile of hay on his side with the other two cubs sleeping in the curve of his stomach. Axel smirked a little, a bit jealous.

"Come on," Cloud urged and bent to slap the redhead's cheek lightly. Axel smacked his hand away.

"Yeah yeah yeah…" he drifted. He had taken most of his light dozes sitting up in the corner under the awning and the lower half of his body was having a hard time responding to the command to move. Cloud plodded his way over to the smaller blonde and awkwardly scooped up the cubs and deposited them back on the cushions with the others. Axel grumbled some about the lack of quality sleep he had been getting lately and shoved himself upright and stretched as high as he could, rolling his joints into working order again. He trudged over to his Charge and stole the blanket from him and flung it over his shoulder. Roxas groaned in protest but Axel ignored him and quickly hefted him up bridal style and made his way toward the gate. Cloud waved a little as he walked past and Axel nodded a goodbye before heading across the property.

"Mmm?" the blonde hummed and tried to open an eye but was blinded by the glare of the rising sun and his hand flew up to his face to shield himself. "Damn it," he grumbled. Axel chuckled a little and shifted Roxas around so he could hook a finger on the handle of the door and pull it open. His mind went on auto pilot and before he could realize where he was going he was already standing in the doorway into his own bedroom.

 _Whatever, it's a bed_ , he thought and made his way around to the opposite side and laid Roxas down gently. He pulled off the blonde's shoes and tossed them away before picking a piece of hay out of his hair. The blonde shifted around and dug the covers out from under himself, his eyes already closed again. Axel pulled the comforter up over him before going to his own side and discarding his shirt and the extra blanket. He flopped himself on the bed without bothering to cover himself and buried his face in a pillow, already half asleep by the time he landed.

* * *

Roxas awoke several hours later smelling funny and being horrendously tangled in his clothing and bed linens. He grumbled angrily at the uncomfortable sensations and wriggled around to detach himself and suddenly realized that he was inside again. He blinked confusedly and tried to clear the fog from his mind enough to vaguely recall being carried in. He looked at the blanket in his hands and realized it wasn't black like his comforter was but a pale orange. He tried to pull it up higher but a weight next to him prevented him from getting very far. He looked to his side.

Axel had done a marvelous face plant into the bed and was snoozing away without even bothering to get under the covers. His feet dangled off to the side and his hair stuck up in a strangely shaped mass from his pillow, with his arms twisted around in weird angles making it look like they had broken themselves. He didn't seem uncomfortable though, which was fine. Roxas couldn't pay attention to the comedic way he was strewn over the comforter though; his eyes were stuck on the redhead's back. Deep jagged scars adorned his skin and the blonde's heart sunk a little. He knew that they were there, but when confined in a smaller space on the Implant's skin, they seemed so much worse.

Roxas shifted around and pulled at his pants to get them readjusted into a comfortable way instead of being twisted around and strangling his limbs. He looked around the space he was in and found it was the same as everyone else's bedrooms he had seen but had more orange. While Axel had taken the time to give a little life to Roxas' room with a nice balance of black and orange, he seemed to take more to the orange side of things for his own décor. At the very least, the carroty environment was broken up some by different shades and hues of the prism, and accented by a few things in black or white. Overall though, Roxas felt like he was in a giant pumpkin. He shrugged, remembering Axel's strange fashion sense from so long ago and chocked it up to one of his quirks. How long had it been since he could hear the beads and things jingle in the redhead's hair? He couldn't remember anymore.

Axel let out a soft snort and Roxas' attention was drawn back to him, the scars boring holes in to his head. He shuffled closer to the unsuspecting redhead and laid a hand on his back, feeling the heavy ridges under his fingertips. Axel's breathing froze for a moment and he tensed. Roxas couldn't tell if he was awake or not but he knew the Carrier was a relatively light sleeper so it was entirely plausible. He ghosted his touch over the marks, sighing a little and trying not to think too much.

"…Roxas?" Axel asked quietly, his mouth being muffled a bit by the pillow. He shifted around so he could peek up at the Charge.

"Sorry, didn't think I'd wake you," the blonde said and pulled his hand away. The redhead shook his head a little and pulled himself around into the less haphazard position of being flat on his stomach and pulled the pillow around accordingly to cradle his face.

"It's fine," he said. "Did you sleep enough?"

"I guess," Roxas shrugged and looked at his watch. It was three in the afternoon and he shook his head. "It's already way too late to do anything useful. Did Leon and Cloud come back? Is that why we're in here?"

"Cloud came in around dawn and told me it was okay to leave. So I did," the redhead said and smiled.

"Well that's good I suppose. I should shower, I smell terrible."

"I wasn't going to say anything."

"Hey, you don't smell any better."

"True. Anyway, you can use mine but you don't have any clean clothes in here so I would suggest using your own. You're welcome to come back though, we both should eat something."

"Okay, I'll see you in an hour," Roxas said and scooted off of the bed before picking up his shoes and making his way out the door. Once in his own room he took a moment to look himself over in the mirror. He looked awful and he smiled a little at his disheveled appearance, wondering if he was doomed to look like this every day once he had tiger cubs to play with versus lion cubs. He chewed his lip a little. That would be nice, tiger cubs.

* * *

Axel was in the middle of drying himself off when he could hear his Catalogue terminal start to ring, letting him know someone was trying to get a hold of him. He wrapped his towel around his waist and trudged out of the bathroom, taking an immediate right into the next doorway over and into the terminal's little cubby of a room. He plopped into his chair and connected his Link, waiting for the other party to answer. The screen blinked to life and he sat back in his chair with his arms crossed. Ansem could be seen through the video feed, and the older man raised a brow at him.

"Are you nude? Should I call back?" Ansem asked, Axel shook his head.

"Shower," he said gruffly. He didn't want to talk to the man. He was a little upset that he had taken so long to answer Leon and Cloud's calls before and having him call at such a random time wasn't helping.

"Ah. I see. I'm calling to check on your progress."

"There's little."

"Oh? Is Roxas still not cooperating?"

"No, but we've been a little distracted helping Leon and Cloud."

"Well that shouldn't be any of your concern. You know how important it is to get things off of the ground, you shouldn't dilly dally with trifling matters."

"Trifling?" the redhead scoffed, his blood starting to boil. "You call poaching a trifling thing? Are you insane? Do you realize how much they've lost?"

"Oh I am more than aware of the situation, Axel. But you must understand that it has nothing to do with you and you must stay on task."

"You say that like it's just that easy to ignore someone else's pain. They're practically my family and you want me to just up and ignore their tragedy?"

"You call losing property a tragedy? My how materialistic."

"Property! Those were their kids!" Axel cried and slammed his hands on the glass surface, causing the interface to shift a little. "You taught me to care about _life_ , not 'property' or money. How can you say that?"

"They weren't your lives to care about. I taught you to value and take care of you and yours. I never asked you to bond with everyone around you so it isn't my fault that you can't handle loss like you're supposed to. All Carriers are taught this, yet they continue to defy the logic and follow their emotions. There would be less pain if they simply stayed on task," Ansem said, his face growing blank. The redhead gaped at him. He had a point, but it was such a cold one that it left him with a lump in his gut. "Now, I want to see some progress over the next few weeks, do you hear me? No distractions."

"I…yeah. Fine. Whatever," Axel grumped and sat back in his seat. "Can I ask a favor?" he asked sheepishly, looking at the man and trying not to shoot acid at the screen from his eyes in his rage. Regardless of how he felt about Ansem, he was the least of the evils as far as the Technicians went. He was still basically the redhead's boss and as much as Axel hated it, he had to comply if he wanted to get anything out of the man.

"Not until I see some results," Ansem said and itched his goatee a little. Axel sighed at the answer.

"Alright, fine," he huffed. "I'll call you when I have something."

"Wonderful, I look forward to it. Take care of yourself now," the man answered, sounding a little less stern and little happier. He smiled some before ending the transmission and Axel was left to himself again. The redhead let his head fall back against the chair and he sighed, rubbing his brows a little. Progress would be nice but he didn't like being rushed. Ansem was giving him mixed messages. Did he have a time limit or not? Maybe after they had another Carrier he would relax a little and let Axel breathe. There was a knock on his door and the redhead's jumbled mind simply called out "It's open!"

"Uh…" Roxas stammered and stared at Axel who was in his chair and mostly naked save for the towel around his waist. The redhead looked stressed but the blonde couldn't focus on much else aside from his lack of clothing. Axel raised a brow and realized what the scene must have looked like and laughed a little.

"Sorry, I had a call right when I got out of the shower, I didn't even think to put pants on," he said as his chuckle turned embarrassed as he leaned forward and exited out of the application on the terminal and unplugged his Link. Roxas nodded silently, his cheeks turning pink. The blonde shuffled off away from the doorway and Axel stood carefully, making sure his towel was secure before heading towards the bathroom again. He picked up his clean shorts and pulled them on quickly before taking up his shirt was shifting it around his hands trying to figure out if he was putting it on backwards or not as he left the room again. "Whoa! Hello," he blurted as he nearly ran into Roxas who had apparently been waiting for him right outside the door.

"Hi," the blonde said meekly. Axel could tell his Charge was nervous about something but he couldn't dwell on whatever it was before Roxas reached forward and took the shirt from his hands and tossed it away. He blinked, a little surprised, but understood a bit better when the Charge pushed himself up on his toes and planted and chase kiss on his befuddled lips. Axel smiled.

"You're so damn short," he snickered and Roxas smacked him on the chest.

"If you insult me enough I might just run away," the blonde retorted with a glare.

"Oh well we wouldn't want that, now would we?" the redhead said smugly with a smirk and stood straight, as tall as he could without exaggerating too much, and brushed past him to sit on the bed. Roxas muttered a few choice words under his breath before following.

"So who called?" he asked, standing off to the side. Axel sighed and looked up at him.

"Can I have a hug first?" he asked shyly. Roxas raised a skeptical brow before moving forward. Axel reached out and pulled the blonde's sternum to his face and hugged him tight. Roxas grunted as some of the air was squeezed from him but forced himself to relax and draped his forearms over Axel's shoulders. The redhead sighed again as the tension leaked from him slowly and Roxas felt that he was treading on a sore subject.

"You don't have to tell me if it's bad," the blonde amended.

"It's not really bad so much as it's stressful. Ansem's just breathing down my neck to get results."

"I thought you didn't have a timeline to follow?"

"I know. Neither did I, but maybe I do now after what happened with Cloud and Leon, though I'm not sure why that would matter. I'm actually kind of confused."

"Well I suppose the only thing we can do is try, then. He can't blame us if we're trying but not getting very much in return, you know?"

"I know, he was just an ass about it. Ah well…" the redhead trailed. He looked up and found Roxas already looking down on him. The blonde smiled a bit, his fingers moving to idly rub a piece of red hair between his fingers. It was still damp. Axel was curious as to where the affection was coming from but decided not to run the risk of ruining it by opening his mouth. He reciprocated Roxas' smile with his own and rubbed his back.

"You put up with me being an ass to you for so long, you'd think it wouldn't bother you if someone else did it now," the blonde said.

"You have a point. It's probably because of you that it doesn't bother me more to begin with."

"Glad to be of service."

"It wasn't so much of a service but a hidden blessing, I think," the redhead said. Roxas' expression softened some and his smile spread wider, he blushed. Axel grinned and smoothed his hands around to the blonde's front and tugged on his shirt a little, prompting Roxas to bend enough for the redhead to capture his lips again. Immediately, Roxas' hands moved to either side of Axel's face, petting his cheeks with his thumbs and the redhead responded by sliding one hand behind Roxas' neck, pulling him closer. The blonde moved to deepen the kiss and parted his lips just enough to let Axel know his intentions and gently flicked his tongue over his bottom lip. The Carrier followed Roxas' lead and responded in the same manner. When their tongues met the blonde's eyes flew open and he squeaked a little, pulling away, looking at Axel with wide and surprised eyes. The redhead knew why and gave him a sly smile.

"Your um…"

"My what, Roxas?" the redhead teased.

"Your tongue."

"What about it?"

"It's…"

"Hmm?"

"It's… textured."

"Why yes, yes it is," Axel said and gave the blonde a devious grin. Roxas chewed his lip, trying to decide how he felt about that. It wasn't sandpapery like a cat's tongue would be but it definitely had a certain amount of roughness to it. He looked at Axel's teeth and contemplated them a little. Yes, Axel had fangs to a certain degree, but the rest of his teeth were human as far as Roxas could tell. Would it make sense if his tongue was somewhere in between Primal and Implant forms as well? He supposed it would. He blushed as his mind flooded with a bunch of thoughts surrounding the idea of Axel's tongue on other parts of him. He fidgeted a bit. He couldn't stop himself as the memory of Sora talking about 'ribbed for her pleasure' condoms came to him and he hid his face in his hands, blushing wildly. Axel laughed.

"You could've warned me," the blonde grumbled into his palms.

"But then I wouldn't have had such a nice reaction from you."

"Not funny," Roxas said, trying to suppress a smile and failing miserably.

"Sure it is."

"I know, and I'm trying really hard to get angry at you for it but I can't," he insisted and started to laugh. Axel reached up and tugged on either wrist to open Roxas' hands and the blonde couldn't hide any longer as they were pulled away. The redhead pushed the arms over either shoulder and snaked a hand behind Roxas' neck again, pulling him close.

"You'll get used to it," he said and rubbed their noses together before pressing forward and reconnecting their lips again eagerly. Roxas didn't protest and leaned into the kiss, prompting Axel to lean back so the blonde could perch himself on the small space of exposed mattress in between the redhead's legs. After a moment of precarious stability on his kneecaps, Roxas broke the kiss to shift a leg around to either side of Axel's hips, straddling him. The Carrier closed his legs so the blonde would have a proper seat and Roxas settled back comfortably, his arms still wrapped around Axel's neck. He started to comb a few damp strands through his fingers idly and the redhead smiled, lacing his fingers together behind the small of the blonde's back and enjoying the gentle touches.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, simply enjoying the feeling of having the other within arms reach. Axel was the one to create a mild disturbance by releasing his hold on the blonde's back and using his arms to push back onto the bed a few feet so he could fold his legs comfortably and cradle the blonde's rump in the space he created. He laid his cheek on Roxas' shoulder and hugged him close. The Charge was a little confused by the change in dynamic but kept one arm around his neck and used his free hand to pet the crimson locks. He felt like Axel was clinging to him almost desperately. The redhead sucked in a deep breath through his nose and let it out slowly and shakily through his mouth.

"Something wrong?" Roxas questioned. Axel shook his head a little.

"Just…relieved."

"Oh. Why? Was there something worrying you before?"

"Only my own fear."

"What fear was that?" the blonde asked. Axel pulled away enough to see his face and run the backs of his fingers over his cheek. Roxas blinked a little, taking in the redhead's tender expression.

"I was afraid you'd reject me," he said simply. He smiled a little and took another deep breath. "I'm not afraid anymore though."

"I could still reject you, you know," the blonde said sternly and gave the redhead hard and uncaring eyes. Axel's expression fell instantly.

"Why…?" he asked sadly. He tensed and his eyebrows hiked up and pushed together a little, his chartreuse eyes glassing over. Roxas' eyes widened some and he grabbed Axel's face, feeling his heart crumble at how easy it was to hurt him.

"Holy shit don't make that face, I was kidding!" the blonde said, trying to give him a reassuring smile. "God Axel, rip my heart out why don't you," he sighed. The redhead blinked a few times, taking in what had just happened. He forced his face to something a little more neutral but his tension didn't leave.

"Don't do that," he said flatly, giving the blonde a small glare. Roxas' hands fell away and he sat straight.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd take it so seriously," he said, hoping it sounded as sincere as it felt. Axel didn't say anything and looked away, heaving a sigh. There was a long uneasy silence before he spoke again.

"It's fine," he said quickly. Roxas pressed a hand to the redhead's chest and could feel how fast his heart was pumping.

"That really scared you didn't it?" the blonde asked quietly. Axel nodded without looking at him. _Wow, stay away from that minefield_ , he thought. The redhead shifted his eyes to Roxas' face and he could see the apology in his expression, which was reassuring.

"You totally killed the moment, you know," he grumbled, leaning back and supporting himself on his palms. He sent the blonde another glare.

"Yeah, I realize that now. Bad time for a joke," Roxas agreed and wrung his hands for a moment, before folding them in his lap. "Thanks for telling me my assholish-ness was a blessing though," he said and gave the redhead a grin. "Still think so?"

"No."

"Didn't think so," he sighed. "I'm really am sorry, though."

"I told you it was a big deal for me."

"I know, what can I do to get you to forgive me?"

"I don't know," the redhead said and shifted his weight to one hand so he could run the other over his face and rub his eyes. "Whatever, it's fine. Forget it," he said tiredly. Roxas didn't believe him. "So what else did you want to do today?" Axel asked abruptly, changing the subject. "We're clean but we still haven't eaten anything, are you hungry?"

"Not anymore…"

"Yeah, me either. We should probably check and see how Leon and Cloud are doing," he said. Roxas nodded and started to push himself out of Axel's lap. The redhead followed after him and stood, stretching a bit before finding his shirt and pulling it over his head. The blonde timidly shuffled out of the room and into the hall. The tension was stifling. He had hoped to spend part of the remainder of the day making out with the redhead but apparently he had a serious case of 'open mouth, insert foot' syndrome. He considered starting a self help book titled _How to be Your Own Cock Block_.

The Carrier noticed his Charge's obvious regret. He smirked a bit to himself. He wasn't really as upset as he made himself out to be. Sure, the initial fright the blonde had given him was annoying but he had already forgiven him. He still felt that Roxas needed to know how serious he was and judging by the blonde's reaction, he was already getting the hint.

* * *

Leon and Cloud were already hard at work in their lab. The air between them was tight and unforgiving. Axel and Roxas watched them through the lab door windows for a moment, making sure they weren't coming at bad time. Leon was looking through a stack of papers and walking across the room just as Cloud turned into his path and they bumped into each other, causing the papers to fall from the Carrier's hands and scatter across the floor. Leon instantly looked as if he was about to punch his Charge in the mouth but once they looked into each other's eyes, he relaxed and Cloud planted a firm kiss on his forehead before stooping to pick the papers up.

Cloud shuffled them all in a pile and took them to a nearby table to put them in order again. As he was sorting through them, Leon snaked his arms around the Charge's waist from behind and laid his cheek against his back. Cloud seemed to ignore him and finished his task before turning around in the embrace and wrapping his arms around his Carrier tightly. He kissed Leon's hair and ran his fingers through the russet locks for a moment before laying his face on the top of his head and heaving a sigh. The atmosphere was filled with obvious mourning still and Roxas couldn't help but feel like he had been punched in the chest as he watched them. They never said a word to one another.

"I don't think we should bug them," Axel whispered and Roxas nodded in agreement. They left quietly, heading back the way they had come. They took a detour to Riku and Sora's lab. The pair were inside and as usual, the brunette wasn't doing much other than watching Riku work. Roxas doubted the usefulness of his brother and wondered why the silveret didn't try to get him to do anything.

"Hi guys!" Sora said brightly and smiled. Riku kept his eyes to his microscope but reached up a hand and waved lightly over his shoulder. "How was babysitting?" the brunette asked.

"I enjoyed it," Roxas said.

"I did too, I like kids," Axel agreed.

"Good, I hadn't seen either of you all day and thought you both had been eaten or something."

"Normally babysitting is done in shifts but I couldn't leave Roxas by himself since it was his first time, so yeah. We spent most of the day today sleeping because we were both up all night," the redhead said. Roxas nodded.

"Ah. Getting eaten makes a better story though."

"Yes Sora, we were eaten and it was so much fun we just had to come tell you about it," the blonde huffed and rolled his eyes. The brunette shrugged.

"You're here aren't you?" he asked and gave his brother a grin. Axel snorted and bypassed the blonde and went to stand next to Riku.

"How goes it?" he asked and the snowy Carrier shrugged.

"Eh…it's going, I guess. Not a whole bunch to say. I got a call from Ansem a couple hours ago though. He basically tried to light a fire under my ass to get me to work faster. I didn't know what to tell him."

"He did the same to me," Axel said grumpily. "Did you mention Leon and Cloud any?"

"No, I didn't."

"Good, don't. He'll tell you a bunch of asinine shit if you do."

"Oh? Why? What did you say?"

"I said I was distracted by helping them and he basically said 'get over it and get to work.'"

"Really?" Riku asked and raised a brow. He looked at Axel then. "That doesn't seem like something he'd say. That seems a little insensitive."

"A little?" the redhead huffed, "I was about to punch him through the Catalogue."

"Weird," the other muttered and turned back to his work. "I assume you didn't have anything to report to him either then?"

"Nothing."

"Well we're on the same page then."

"Ansem sounds like he has a personality disorder," Sora remarked. "I've only met him once and he seemed like an okay guy."

"I don't like him very much even if he is polite. He just rubs me the wrong way," Roxas added. "That whole stipend package thing left a bad taste in my mouth."

"Yeah? Was he always like that though?" the brunette asked, turning to look at Axel. The redhead shrugged.

"He's always been kind of a dry and sarcastic guy. He takes his job seriously but has more heart than the rest of them do. I could only imagine the things Saïx or Xemnas would've said to us if it had been them calling instead. They might have bypassed the call entirely and come to chew us out in person."

"Huh. Don't they have like a human resources guy you can go complain to?" Sora asked.

"There's the Committee, but that's just a fancy name for a group of guys that sit around and think they're the best Technicians. Ansem, Saïx and Xemnas are all on it and I don't see any added benefit or anything for them. They still do the same job as all the other Technicians but they have an extra title, is all. It's stupid. In the beginning it probably had a more important use because they needed to organize everything but now, it's useless."

"In the beginning? Like the beginning of the Carrier Project?" Roxas questioned. Axel nodded.

"Right. All three of them are really _really_ old. Thousands of years old. They've been here since the beginning. Ansem was the one who invented the stasis treatments that keep everyone going."

"Oh wow, I had no idea," the blonde said. He was amazed.

"Well that explains why Saïx and Xemnas are cranky old bastards. Because they _are_ cranky old bastards," Sora said. "Damn, I wouldn't want to live that long. How the hell did they manage to hang on? You'd think at least one of them would've gotten cancer or something by now."

"It either proves how smart they are and that they can avoid it or that they have enough money to afford the constant medical care," the redhead said.

"How does anyone make money off of this project though?" Roxas asked. "It seems like a non-profit sort of deal."

"That's a good question. Maybe they take the surplus from all the public donations and sponsors," Axel said, looking contemplative. "That's a little illegal though; you'd think they would've been caught by now if they did that."

"Perhaps it's a testament to their intelligence? You have to be smart to avoid capture for that long," Riku interjected.

"I wouldn't doubt it."

"So if Ansem invented stasis, who thought up everything else?" Sora asked.

"Saïx figured out most of the blueprints for the ecosystem domes, that much I know. I think the Carriers were a collaborative thing with the entire team they had back then, though. Really, those three are the only ones left of the original group so there's a lot of lost history there," Axel said. "I tried really hard to figure it all out at one point but I couldn't find enough data to get the whole picture."

"Maybe they live off of Ansem's profits from selling the stasis treatments," Roxas said.

"It could be, but so long as I have what I need to live and get my shit done I don't really care where the money comes from," Axel said and shrugged. There was a silence between everyone as the conversation deadpanned. Roxas thought a little bit and mulled all the information over.

"You said before that anyone who can afford it can use the stasis right? And they don't do background checks or anything?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah," Axel said.

"You also said that if I break my contract, I'll be barred from using it. If they don't pay attention to who uses it, how can I be barred from it?"

"Are you planning on leaving me or something?" the redhead asked as the tension from the blonde's 'joke' earlier came back to him some.

"No no, I was just curious. If it's so open, do they suddenly start caring or something when they're told someone can't use it?"

"Well usually when someone is barred from it, they're in prison already or have been involved with law enforcement somehow and got in enough trouble to warrant it. Breaking your contract is illegal once it's signed and would land you in the same situation. Prisoners are bar-coded and have a microchip shoved into them that sets off a scanner before you get in. All of the public stations have an archway in front of them that detect the chip. Stasis chambers aren't for private use and people can't go out and buy one for their homes or something so they have to go to the public areas to use them anyway," Axel said. "Now, you have to be caught in order to be bar-coded and chipped. If you haven't been, then you're free to use them."

"What's the point of the barcode?"

"To see who you are if you're caught again."

"Oh. Gone are the days of using fingerprints?" the blonde asked, raising a brow. He felt the bar-coding was a little extreme.

"Fingerprints can be burned off."

"Wouldn't a tattoo be the same though?"

"If you burn off your ear, it's a little obvious," the redhead smirked.

"Wait, they put it on your ear?"

"Yeah, right on the back."

"What the hell? Why? Who comes up with this shit?"

"I have no idea," Axel said and shrugged. "Why print my model number on my nuts? I don't understand why they do what they do; I just know that they do it."

"It seems like a little much," Roxas said and furrowed his brows. "At what point do they decide to do all that though?"

"Once you reach 'felony' status. Anything below that and you're fine."

"Oh. Well that makes me feel a little better."

"Are Poachers felons?" Sora asked.

"Yes," Axel said. "It's about the only fair law that pertains to Carriers. It's only illegal to kill us."

"That's awful," the blonde huffed. Axel shrugged.

"We've been over this," he said.

"I know I know…" Roxas trailed. He sighed.

Riku stiffened a little, his eyes glued to his microscope. He was using the Extractor, Roxas' favorite toy. The Carrier quickly hit a large blue button located on the underside of the arm of his microscope and the mechanical limbs in the glass cube started to work. They shifted around and quickly moved the sample dish off to a corner where it was dropped into an awaiting tube. The dish was sucked down and didn't reappear for several moments. When it did, it was at another station across the lab and Riku jogged to the new machine and slid into place.

Sora was curious by this point and pushed himself from his seat to go see what was happening. The station that Riku had moved to was called the Pre-Gestational Prep Center. It was essentially another microscope that looked down into a metal box with a glass top. Inside the box would sit the sample that came from the Extractor, and on the other side would be a very delicate set of mechanical arms that could move whatever was in the sample dish and try to implant it into a synthetic ovum. It was all manually operated, just as the Extractor was, and Riku got to work relocating the sample in its dish.

"Want to see?" he asked as the brunette appeared next to him. Sora nodded and the Carrier stepped aside. Sora looked into the lenses and squinted.

"What am I looking at?" he asked.

"In science terms or Sora terms?"

"Sora terms please."

"Your molecules _really_ like my molecules," Riku said and ruffled the brunette's hair.

"Huh…" Sora said and stepped back, looking contemplative. Roxas raised a brow, Axel smiled. "Whatever that means!" the brunette said and grinned. "I like your molecules just fine."

"Oh well thank you, they are quite handsome aren't they?" Riku asked and smiled.

"Psh! Only a little," Sora huffed and waved a hand dismissively though he couldn't hide his blush.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Were Carriers supposed to get sick? Roxas didn't know. Axel had never mentioned anything about his immune system and whether or not it was extra heavy duty or if it was normal like any other human's. What he did notice though, was that the redhead seemed a little gloomy in the way he carried himself and he had the occasional drippy sniffle followed by a heavy cough that made Roxas' lungs hurt for him. His watch wasn't alerting him to anything drastic but he kept an ear out for any shrill beeps that could spring up.

A few weeks had passed since the poaching of Leon and Cloud's family. The rest of the injured Carriers and Charges had returned home safely and their project was in full swing again, if followed by a few gray clouds and sudden mood changes between the main pair. Roxas avoided being alone with Leon and Cloud as much as he could, but he would occasionally need to run between the labs and steal an extra slide or Petri dish and would sometimes find himself in awkward silences between the couple as they took their time finding what he had asked for. They seemed quieter together though. They weren't so quick to snap at one another and Roxas could sometimes catch them simply staring at one another, having silent conversations pass through the open air before one of them would break the silence and go back to whatever they were doing. The blonde couldn't decide if it was a good thing or not.

Once Zexion had come out of his stasis, no one saw him or Demyx for three days. Roxas would shuffle past either bedroom quickly, hoping to avoid the awkwardness of hearing their lustful cries at one another. He still hadn't really gotten to know either of them very well, least of all Zexion. The steely haired man was still such a quiet individual but what Demyx had said about him being completely different when they were alone must have been true because there were definitely _two_ voices coming from behind the door. Their 'peanut' as Axel so affectionately called her, was growing well and seemed to be forming all the right things at all the right times. She was officially a fetus by this point and Demyx gushed about her every chance he got, but kept his stories to himself when Leon and Cloud were around. Babies were a sore subject.

Sora and Riku seemed to keep whatever they did together to themselves. There were times where Roxas wanted to talk to his brother and he would find them wrapped around one another in the lab, but other than that, they kept things behind closed doors and didn't kiss and tell too much. The blonde was thankful for that. Sora did let slip that Riku's tongue was textured as well and that it was _fantastic_ , apparently. The brunette had received a punch in the gut for over sharing but at least Roxas' curious mind was sated a little. He could remember Tifa's Primal licking his hair at the conference and how much it had irritated his skin. If feline Carrier Implant tongues were less abrasive than that, which they were, he could deal. He didn't dwell on the thoughts too much though, because he couldn't figure out the right time to initiate things.

Yes, there was kissing and hugs and light cuddles but neither Axel nor Roxas could figure out each other well enough to get when they should progress. Axel, being oblivious to most things in his virginity. Roxas, simply being shy and opening his mouth at odd times to blurt out something that would either distract them both, or kill the mood entirely. He really felt he should take a class in how _not_ to be overly stupid when it came to coming on to a guy. He was a virgin in his own right, but he still felt he shouldn't have been so awkward with things. Sora teased him relentlessly and their squabbles would usually escalate when the brunette didn't get the hint of when to shut his mouth and would oftentimes end up with a new bruise somewhere. Riku would give Roxas a hard glare the next time they met after those instances.

Axel was trying his best to teach Roxas how to use the machines in the lab without infecting the little blonde with whatever virus he had picked up. He felt heavy and sluggish for most of the time he was awake. He had been sick for a week and it was a relentless feeling. He couldn't deny he felt a little better when Roxas started to pick up things and understand the basic concepts of the contraptions they were using but couldn't fully enjoy it, which frustrated him. Another frustrating fact was that the blonde was so close to him but he couldn't touch him for fear of spreading his disease. They hadn't done much together once the redhead fell ill and it was torturous. Not only that, but he had no idea how to move things along and get to the parts he _really_ wanted.

"Are you sure you're okay today?" Roxas asked worriedly. Axel nodded some and snorted back another fifteen gallons of mucus. He was paler than he normally was and not eating very much, the blond knew. He pressed a hand to the redhead's forehead. "What's your normal temperature supposed to be at, anyway?" he asked.

"Hundred and one, around there," Axel said stuffily. He leaned against Roxas' hand and the blonde sighed a bit before moving it up to fluff a few pieces of his hair around.

"Go lay down," he ordered.

"But it's boring," the redhead whined.

"Go."

"Bu—"

"Shut up and go. I'll be in soon," the blonde talked over his protests. Axel blinked heavy lids at his stern-faced Charge before heaving a light sigh and trudging off. Once he was gone, Roxas got to work. He plopped himself in front of the Catalogue terminal and plugged his watch in, waiting for the computer to come to life. He had no idea what kinds of diseases plagued Carriers, if there were any specific ones. Axel looked to simply have a really bad cold but his loss of appetite was unsettling. He poked around the terminal, searching for any common ailments that fit the redhead's symptoms.

Sniffles? _Yes_.

Excessive mucosal excretions? _Ew, yes. 'Excretions' is a really nasty word_.

Sneezing? _Not so much_.

Cough? _Yes_.

Wheezing? _Some_.

Fever? _I don't know, he's always warm to me_.

Sore throat? _Probably_.

Loss of voice? _No_.

Anal leakage? _What? How does that fit into the pattern here? I have no idea! I don't wipe his ass for him_!

Uncomfortable sinus pressure? _Probably_.

Head ache? _He didn't say…_

Loss of appetite? _Yes._

Stiffness of joints? _Uh…good question_.

Unable to sleep? _No, he's pretty good at that_.

Duration of symptoms? _A week_.

Color of mucus? _That matters? Huh_.

Vomiting? _No_.

Hallucinations? _No_.

Roxas blinked a little as the list persisted. The symptoms started to turn to the bizarre, and the blonde was a little fascinated that half of the options could even happen to a human body. Some of them though, seemed a little common for regular people, but would be a bad sign if it happened to a Carrier, he noticed.

Peeling skin? _No_.

Hair loss? _No_.

Involuntary shifting of pigmentation? _…Wait what? Is this thing asking me if Axel's hair is flipping out? That's a problem? Weird. No_.

Tooth ache? _No_.

Complaining of static shock against the tongue or cheek? _That can happen? No_.

Loss of control over change code activation? _Whoa. I can see where that would be an issue. No_.

Swallowing of Signet sensor? Roxas laughed and passed that one up.

He scrolled through the rest of the symptoms as they ranged from falling out of a tree, to imploding facial structure (that one was scary) and entered all the correct ones into the interface. He read through the results of what a possible diagnosis was. Sinus infection, upper respiratory infection, the common cold, and the flu were all that the machine would give him as the most probable scenarios. It gave a list of some things that Roxas could do to help alleviate the symptoms but it mostly amounted to bed rest and plenty of water. There wasn't a pharmacy he could go to for Carrier medications and that led him to believe that they didn't get sick very often like this. That, or no one cared enough to develop drugs for them outside of basic pain relief. He submitted a report to Ansem, just in case and leaned back in his seat when he was finished, thinking.

He and Axel had taken to documenting every little detail of what they did in the lab on a daily basis. They submitted reports to Ansem regularly so he would leave them alone, and aside from the initial call Axel had received a few weeks ago, he didn't say anything else to them. The circumstances surrounding the poaching still bugged the blonde but he tried not to get too carried away because there wasn't anything he could do. He decided a while ago that he would keep his suspicions at bay until the need arose for them again, which they no doubt would at some point in his extended lifetime.

He sighed and looked around the lab. He could _try_ to get some work done on his own after he visited Axel for a few minutes. It was hard to damage the machines because the more delicate pieces were usually encased inside and out of reach of strong Carrier hands so he wasn't worried so much about breaking them as he was simply messing things up. Not that there was anything to mess up in the first place. Try as they might, they couldn't get much passed the Pre-Gestational Prep Center so even if the blonde _did_ have some success, he wouldn't know how to progress without Axel around to supervise. He thought for a moment before pushing himself up out of the chair and making his way towards Demyx and Zexion's lab. Maybe they would know how to help him.

"How's Axel?" Demyx asked brightly when he entered. Zexion waved a little in greeting from across the room. Roxas shrugged.

"Drippy and sick."

"Ah. What can we do for you?"

"Do you know anything that could help him feel better? The Catalogue told me it just needs to run it's course but he's so miserable, I feel bad."

"If we had a bathtub I'd say throw him in that, but we don't and he probably won't want to go outside and get his germs all over the pool. Hmm…" the sandy blonde hummed and tapped his cheek thoughtfully. "Yuffie may be able to help, or Tifa, but I bet if you asked Riku, he would be willing to give Axel a massage."

"Riku gives massages?" the blonde asked and raised a brow.

"Yeah, and he does them in ways only Riku can," Demyx twittered with a grin. "Those big fat feet of his are really soft."

"His feet?" Roxas was confused. The Carrier laughed.

"Just ask him and I'm sure he'll do it, and then you'll see. I suppose I can do some stuff too. I could sit in the shower with him and make sure he doesn't pass out."

"I think he's showering okay. What can Yuffie and Tifa do?"

"Tifa is just motherly like that and Yuffie knows some holistic stuff, herbs and whatever. They make me sneeze but they seem to work for most things."

"Oh. That's nice to know. I'll look into that and get back to you, thanks."

"No problem! Anything else?"

"Well…I don't know much about this stuff, how often do you guys tend to get sick?"

"Not very often. We don't leave the facility much, you know? It's possible he could've gotten it from the food or something or the cafeteria staff. People are always coming and going out of the dome and it's possible something could've wafted over while he was outside too. It happens. No biggie."

"Okay. Just curious. I don't know how long it'll last and we're not going to be able to get much done," the blonde sighed. "I only know how to do so much."

"I can help you with that," Zexion offered from his station. Roxas perked up.

"Really? What about your stuff?"

"I can handle it by myself until Axel is better," Demyx said and smiled. "I'll let your borrow my Zexion if you promise to give him back," he chided. Zexion snorted.

"Well so long as I'm not intruding on anything, that'd be great," Roxas said. Zexion nodded.

* * *

Axel was achy and miserable. He lay on his bed, nested in a pile of pillows and blankets, sniffling and not doing much else. He hated idle time. Sitting around and doing nothing was not his favorite way of doing things when there was so much work to be done. He could understand Roxas' sending him away and quite honestly, he didn't want to be around himself much, either. He felt like he was rolling around in his own boogers and constantly reinfecting himself with each cough. He groaned and shifted around, pulling the blankets off of himself to let his body air out. He was coated in a thin layer of sweat from head to toe and was thankful he had enough energy to strip himself completely before crawling in the bed otherwise it would've been even worse. He'd have to wash his bed linens when he was over this. He rolled over onto his stomach and let the comforter cover him in only the essential places. Not three minutes after he covered himself, did the door push open a bit as someone peeked in. He couldn't see who, for his face was buried in a pillow.

"Axel?" Roxas asked quietly.

"Hnnng…" the redhead groaned in response.

"You're awake?" the blonde confirmed and could see red follicles shift up and down as the redhead nodded. "Riku's here," he said and pushed the door open enough for the Carrier to come in. Axel didn't move but could feel a weight climb onto the bed with him a moment before a cold wet grey-pink nose touched the shell of his ear. He could hear Riku sniff him a little and the redhead smirked into his pillow. If Riku was in his Primal form while inside, that meant one of two things. He was being examined, or it was massage time. Axel sure as hell wasn't going to feel him up and he shifted around so he lay flat, hoping for the latter option. Riku took the hint and got to work. He carefully placed one back foot on either of the redhead's thighs and pressed forward with his front paws, kneading into Axel's lower back and pulling at the skin with his toes; being mindful of his claws. Roxas smiled a little and pulled the door closed as much as he could without latching it so Riku could pull it open and leave when he was finished. He and Sora stood around outside of the door for a moment.

"So? Have you guys made anymore progress again?" the blonde asked. Sora shook his head. The sample that seemed to be making strides a few weeks ago didn't come to term and the pair had been forced to start over again, as was the nature of their experiments. "That's too bad, I'm sorry."

"Eh, we'll get there," the brunette said and smiled. They started down the hall together quietly. "How about you guys?"

"Nothing. Not for a lack of trying, anyway."

"Yeah, you'll have that. I hope Axel doesn't get Riku sick. Because then I'd get sick and I hate being sick."

"I don't think anyone enjoys it."

"Well I can see where it would have its perks. You get a lot more attention when you can't take care of yourself."

"I think you're the only one I know that would care about that, honestly."

"Can't blame a guy for wanting a little pampering. I hadn't even thought about getting a massage from Riku before. It sounds nice."

"Could you imagine the damage one of the others would do if they tried the same thing? Demyx can't retract his claws and Leon would crush you, Axel too for that matter. Riku is compact enough to get away with it."

"Lucky me, right?" the brunette grinned, hiking his brows high onto his forehead. Roxas rolled his eyes and gave him a shove. Sora laughed. They parted ways as they passed Roxas and Axel's lab. Zexion was already inside, looking through their samples. The blonde was grateful he was so willing to help but needed to do one last thing before he got to work. He plopped himself behind the Catalogue again and flipped through the channels, looking through the Carrier profiles and finding Tifa's. He used that to call her terminal over in the female building and he waited for her to answer. When she didn't, he tried the one in her lab. She answered quickly and her picture flicked onto the screen with Zack milling about in the background. She smiled, her Link cable twitching upwards with the curl of her lips.

Roxas had never seen the inside of her lab before and it was obvious that she spent a lot of time there. It was almost homey looking with a few pictures and minimal decorations adorning the walls and hanging off the exam tables. There was even a small vase with a single flower sticking out of it in the back and the blonde smiled a little. What caught his eye though was an adolescent body floating in a gestational chamber, far in the back of the lab. It confused him. He knew Tifa had had cubs before and that meant they had enough Carriers to start with the natural offspring. He hadn't heard of her kind losing anyone recently, so why did they need that one? Maybe it was from before the blonde came there, the body was obviously older and he really didn't know when Tifa's last litter was. Or how old she was for that matter. Then again, he could remember her mentioning the Carrier when he first met her so he shouldn't feel so surprised.

"Hello Roxas, long time no see. How're things?" she asked cheerfully.

"They're okay. Slow. But okay. I was actually calling to ask if you had a minute to come over here," the blonde said.

"Oh? What did you need?"

"Axel's sick. He's been sick for a week and I don't really know what to do for him and Demyx said you play the mom role pretty good," he said and grinned. Tifa laughed a little.

"Well I don't see why I can't. Things are pretty stable and boring over on my end. I'll come over in a little bit. What kind of sick is he?"

"Stuffy and coughy kind," he said and she nodded.

"Aw, poor baby," she cooed. "Though, staying like that for over a week can't be very much fun. I'll see you in a little."

"Thanks," he said and she ended their transmission. He disconnected his watch from the terminal before turning to Zexion who was still flicking through the samples. The first step for any sort of scientific baby making in this instance, was selecting the 'right' samples. Since all the samples were basically the same, oftentimes one would have to choose one at random from each donor and hope they work together. The sample area was basically a cylinder where the plastic cups from inside the sample canisters sat and each donor (Axel and Roxas in this case) had their own cylinder to pick from. It was similar to what a sperm bank would have to hold their specimens in only they weren't frozen, but put into a sort of hibernation. The samples degraded over time, but so long as the males involved were healthy and hormonal enough, it wasn't a problem keeping a steady supply. Once the samples were chosen, they were opened and the cups were turned upside down and set inside the Extractor.

The Extractor would then go about the automated process of scraping everything from the cup and depositing it on a sample dish inside the glass cube. Each donor had their own sample dish until they were ready to join them together towards the end of the process, in a new and clean sample dish. It was the operator's job to dig around and find healthy sperm through the microscope and slice them apart in order to retrieve the cytoplasm from within which contained (amongst other things) the genetic material they needed. It was a tricky situation when dealing with Carrier sperm. Since they had both human and non-human cells swimming about in the sample and they both looked pretty much the same, the operator would have to fish through and try to determine which was which by way of trial and error. Human sperm would react differently to other human sperm than they would to the Totem's. It was a tedious process but eventually, if they were lucky to get it done before most of the cells died, they would move onto the next step.

The completed and mixed sample from the Extractor would head through the tube in the corner of the glass cube and down under the floor and pop up at the Pre-Gestational Prep Center, ready to be shoved into an awaiting synthetic ovum. The delicate and miniscule mechanical arms in the Prep Center would pick up an ovum from a storage cylinder, and the operator would have to relocate the sample in its dish again before scooping it up with a painfully tiny needle and inject it into the egg using the other mechanical arm. The process was simple enough but it wasn't without its own problems. If the operator was too harsh with the sample, it could be destroyed. The ovum could be defective as well and have too thick of an outer membrane for the needle to pass through, or either of the cells could die before they had a chance to join. The mixing sample itself wasn't very much to look at. It was basically a tiny glob of cytoplasm that didn't pull apart when brought together in the Extractor. Non compatible cytoplasm would pull away from one another much like two magnets of the same charge. If they were skilled (and lucky) enough to push through the Prep Center, the sample moved through another tube where it went to the biggest machine in the back that was connected to the gestational tanks.

The Gestational Terminal was an enormous computer that housed the awaiting ovum inside and the operator could sit at the screen and pick through genetic maps to choose the various traits of the Carrier they were trying to create. Of course, it wasn't a Carrier until it was brought into the Implant, but Roxas wasn't too keen on calling them 'babies' just yet, even if that's what they were. The genetic maps were created by the Carrier long before the Charge ever joined them. Axel started compiling one on Roxas back when he would watch the blonde grow, slowly picking up a hair here or there, a piece of dead skin or a scrape bit of drool from off of his pillow. It was a long and arduous process since he only had the tiny mechanical hands of the synthetic flies to aid him, but the blonde's full genetic workup was finished by the time he was sixteen. Ansem had done Axel's map back when Axel was created, using the human donor's DNA much in the same way. The maps were then dumped into the Gestational Terminal and though they were complex, it was relatively easy to understand what was what once the blonde could understand the lingo used. The amount of cytoplasm left inside the ovum was cut in half by the time the operators were finished with it, since they had weeded out the extra traits and unnecessary details.

The ovum was then deposited into an awaiting gestational chamber filled with nutritional fluid that was very similar to amniotic fluid in a mother's womb, but contained everything that they could get through the placenta as if in a normal pregnancy, the levels of which were regulated by the Gestational Terminal itself. They would have to wait and see if the ovum would grow and typically within a couple weeks, the sensors in the tube's floor could tell them if anything was happening even if they couldn't see it just yet. After several more weeks though, they would get a tiny speck they could watch if everything was working properly. They could then start working on the Carrier body, the Implant, but Roxas had never gotten that far with Axel's lectures. He could barely understand the genetic maps and he would sometimes study them closely trying to figure out which parts of Axel's double helix DNA strand gave him that amazing jaw line.

Zexion was very good at what he did, if not the best. He had spent so many hours in his lab with his eyes glued to the microscope and could pick out which Carrier sperm were which simply by looking at their subtleties. He had delicate precision with the Extractor that had been chiseled from many many years of experience and Roxas was in awe of him. He worked quickly, and was able to pick out two compatible sperm in less than an hour and mesh them together whereas the blonde would've taken all day. Once they sent the sample to the Prep Center though, Zexion stood back and let Roxas become acquainted while he went to retrieve another from the Extractor. Back and fourth it went as the blonde failed miserably every time. He wasn't discouraged though; he could remember Riku saying Demyx and Zexion had their own difficulties even if Zexion was so proficient.

"Can I ask you something a little personal?" Roxas asked timidly. They hadn't conversed much the entire time Zexion was helping him because neither of them had much to say.

"I can't guarantee I'll answer depending on what it is, but go ahead," Zexion said.

"Why were you and Demyx having problems getting zygotes together in the past?" he asked carefully, watching the one half of Zexion's face closely for any sign of offense.

"Demyx was the problem. Or rather, his testicles were. I'm not going to go into any specifics but his human sperm weren't forming properly even if he could…perform well enough," the other Charge said hesitantly. "That stays between us, by the way. Only Axel and Riku know about it aside from Ansem that is. Not even Leon does. Demyx is a little sensitive about it."

"Right, I won't say anything. I was just curious. He's all better now though, which is what counts."

"Yes. He had to have surgery but they fixed the problem."

"Good."

* * *

Roxas pushed Axel's door open quietly and could hear the redhead snoring lightly before he could even see him. When he could see him though, he was a little taken aback. Tifa was in the bed with him and though she was fully clothed, the redhead wasn't and the blonde didn't really know what to think. Axel was covered where it mattered and obviously sleeping very soundly, which helped, but Roxas couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. It took a moment for him to register the innocence involved with their positioning though and he sighed to himself when he realized everything was okay.

Tifa was propped up on the mound of pillows with her head resting back against the wall peacefully. Axel was draped across the bed on his side, with his face cradled against her bosom and an arm over her stomach. She stroked his hair softly. If Axel wasn't so much bigger than she was, Roxas was sure he would've been pulled in her lap in some way. The blonde wondered if this was just the way Tifa was, or if she saw Axel as more of a child figure than she let on. She certainly looked like his mother just then, but Roxas knew that wasn't possible. She smiled when she saw him in the doorway.

"Sorry I didn't come to see you first," she whispered. "I figured you'd be working."

"I was, I just came to check," the blonde whispered back. "How is he?"

"It took a while but I was able to get him to sleep, obviously. He's pretty stuffy but I think he'll be fine if he doesn't get antsy and try to move around a bunch. I'll see if I can get some things from Yuffie before the day is over."

"Really? That'd be nice. I considered calling her myself, but I don't know how to find her."

"I'll handle it, no worries," she said and smiled wider. She looked out the window. The sun was beginning to set. "What time is it?" she asked. Roxas peeked at his watch.

"Almost six."

"Oh wow, I thought it was earlier than that. I should probably go now if I want to get back before too late," she said. Roxas was beginning to wonder about Tifa's sense of time. She didn't even realize what time it was when they went to relieve her of babysitting Leon and Cloud's cubs, even if she had a feeding schedule in front of her face. She shifted around and lifted Axel's head gently before scooting out from under him and setting him against the pillows. The redhead grunted in his sleep a bit before groping around and pulling a pillow to himself. Tifa patted her clothing back into place and walked around the bed. She smiled. "I'll be back later. See you then," she said and Roxas nodded before she left.

The blonde weighed his options. Zexion had left to go back to his own lab for the evening and Roxas considered going back to work without him, to see if he could improve his abilities. He looked at Axel and considered crawling into bed with him for a cuddle, but then he would probably disrupt the redhead's sleep and risk getting himself sick. Not only that, but the Carrier was naked and he wasn't sure how well that scenario would've played out. He fidgeted in place. He wanted a cuddle, he really did but he didn't want to disturb Axel. He sighed and made his way out of the room quietly.

* * *

Demyx hummed happily to himself as he made his way to Axel's room. Tifa had been bringing Yuffie's homeopathic recipes home to the redhead for two days now, and though better, Axel was still sticky with germs and gross things. The sandy blonde felt it was his duty to help his friend out and rushed into his bedroom, arms open. Axel yelped in surprise at the intrusion and was suddenly squashed into Demyx's chest.

"Axel!" the other Carrier squealed.

"Mmmnfn!" Axel grumbled back as he inhaled a mouthful a beige fabric. Demyx released him suddenly and grinned down at him. The redhead coughed a few times and sent his friend a glare. "What do you think you're doing, dick?" he asked angrily. He had been sitting quietly in his bed, enjoying a light snooze when all of a sudden there was a Demyx in his face. He was knocked for a loop, to say the least.

"You smell," the sandy blonde said with an overly chipper inflection. Axel raised a brow.

"No, I don't."

"Yeah you do."

"What do I smell like?"

"Tiger farts and boogers," Demyx said matter-of-factly. Axel didn't have a response and gaped at him for a moment. That wasn't the response he was expecting.

"Sometimes I worry about your mental state, did you know that?" he asked finally.

"I worry about my mental state too. No matter! It's bath time!"

"I'm more than capable at bathing myself, thanks," Axel huffed.

"Too bad, everyone else got to do something to help you. I feel left out."

"Leon and Cloud didn't do anything. Neither did Sora."

"They're not everyone. They're…whatever! Let me help!" Demyx insisted.

"Demyx. I appreciate it but I just need to sleep, okay? I don't want to get everyone else sick. Everyone includes you," he said calmly and sniffled. The sandy blonde pouted.

"What if I give you a present?" he taunted. "I considered going shopping later for a few things Zexion needs and I can bring some back for you."

"Are you trying to bribe me into letting you help me shower? What the hell?" Axel asked confusedly.

"Actually no, I was going to give it to you anyway because I'm cool like that but I was just seeing if you'd go for it," Demyx laughed.

"Oh. Well good because any more of that shit and I would've had to call Ansem and have him check your cerebral cortex. Did you get into the sugar again or something? What's going on?" he asked. Demyx smiled and shook his head.

"Oh you know. Things."

"You did it again, didn't you?" the redhead said flatly. He knew _exactly_ what Demyx had done. The stupid smile gave him away every time.

"You know me so well!" the sandy blonde said and stuck his tongue out a little and held his cheeks between his hands. "I did," he admitted. Axel sighed and rubbed his face.

"You really need to let up on that. You're going to kill him if you're not careful."

"But it gets such nice results. Besides, he'll just sleep it off and be fine tomorrow."

"Yeah, but you know what it does to them, you really shouldn't toy with their senses like that. It's not right."

"Oh come on! It's been tested. Like seriously, no one has found any adverse side effects and even if there were, we don't use it enough to cause any damage. Axel you _have_ to try it with Roxas."

"What? No. No way," the redhead said, almost insulted. He sniffled and settled back against his pillows. He coughed a bit. "Even if he said it was fine I wouldn't. We're not even to that point yet."

"You aren't?" Demyx gaped. "What the hell have you two been doing? Is he that much of a stuck up bastard?"

"Watch it," Axel said sternly and shifted a hard gaze to his friend. The sandy blonde's face softened and he sighed. He sat on the bed and folded his legs under himself, watching the redhead carefully.

"I guess you won't like my present very much then," he said sadly. Axel's eyes widened some.

"You have it already?"

"Yeah."

"Demyx!"

"What? I'm just trying to help you out a little. It's crazy fun, Axel. Trust me. You won't regret it."

"I'm not doing it!"

"Just a little? I want to see what he's really like."

"Too bad. He's not yours to see."

"Oh come on! You were around for Zexion's first time."

"Yeah because you fucked him up in the middle of the field. _Everyone_ was there to see it."

"Hey, I didn't mean to. That was an accident. He took the wrong bottle of water without me noticing."

"So you say."

"It's true! But he liked it so we're good. Roxas will too."

"No. Stay the fuck away from him," the redhead growled.

"Oh I will. You, on the other hand, need to lighten up some and give it a try. Do you really think I would've been harping on your for so many years if it wasn't amazing?"

"I believe you when you say it's nice but it's still wrong. I can't do that to him. He'd flip a shit and then probably leave, thinking I'm some sort of psychopath."

"How is it that I can get quiet little Zexion to like it but you insist that your tightass Roxas won't? You haven't even done anything with him! How do you know what he likes?"

"Exactly! I don't want to figure it out the wrong way. Just… stop. Alright?"

"…Fine," Demyx huffed. He dug around in his pocket and produced a small glass vial. He wiggled it at the redhead. "I'm not going to force it on you but here," he said and reached back and pulled open Axel's side table drawer. He dropped the vial in and closed it again. "Just in case."

"Whatever," Axel grumped.

"You still smell."

"And?"

"Shower time."

"I thought it was 'bath time.'"

"So you agree then," the sandy blonde grinned. Axel rubbed his face tiredly.

"…Fuck."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Axel could breathe through his nose again. It was a wonderful feeling. He still had a cough but otherwise, he was well on his way to immaculate health again. Between Yuffie's herbs and Tifa's mothering skills, he was much better. Demyx wasn't much help and Roxas kept his distance at the redhead's insistence. It was a mixed blessing that Roxas could be so obedient and stayed away. On the one hand, he didn't get sick but that meant there was a significant lack of blue eyed blondes in Axel's life. Demyx didn't count. _That_ particular blonde was getting to be insatiable.

"AxelAxelAxelAxel!"

"…No," the redhead growled. He was attempting to get to his breakfast but Demyx was being a nuisance. It had been several days since the sandy blonde dropped the vial off in his room and the urging to use it hadn't stopped regardless of how many death threats were tossed Demyx's way.

"Oh come on! You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"Demyx, I just want to eat my breakfast and get to work. Leave me alone for fifteen minutes please," Axel said, as patiently and as evenly as he could.

"Psh, I'll eat with you."

"Fine. But no talking."

"Wh—"

"Demyx!" the redhead snapped, his sudden burst of sound echoed through the entire cafeteria and turned everyone's attention to them. His friend flinched. Axel took a deep breath. "I love you like a brother, I really do. But you need to shut up. You're killing me," he said calmly.

"…Okay" the sandy blonde said timidly and shuffled his foot across the tile a bit. He didn't like it when Axel yelled. The redhead's volume could go from a whisper to extremely high decibels in a split second, making anyone nearby notice him. It always sent a tremor through Demyx's body whenever the yelling was directed at him, which it usually was when it happened. He could recall the few times Axel _really_ got angry and none of them ended well for the other party involved.

Demyx did as he was told and didn't say anything throughout the entire meal.

* * *

Roxas was vaguely aware of his door opening and closing. He pulled his eyes open just enough to see that the sun was barely over the horizon and he mentally cursed whoever was messing around in his room. It was _way_ too early to be up. He was a bit surprised that a body deposited itself in his bed with him. He stiffened a little at the intrusion but when a long arm wrapped itself around his midsection and he could see the distinctive red arm hair, he relaxed.

"Feeling better?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Yes," Axel said quietly and snuggled close. He rested his forehead against Roxas' shoulder blades and closed his eyes.

"Is it time to get up?" the blonde asked, hoping it wasn't true.

"Not really. I can leave if you want to sleep more," the redhead said.

"No, it's fine," Roxas reassured and turned over. Axel snaked his arms around the blonde's torso and pressed his face into his shirt and inhaled his scent. It was comforting. "Just… give me a minute to wake up a little," the blonde said and yawned.

"Sorry, I…I just missed you," the redhead said and buried his face further into the Charge's chest, feeling his ears heat up through his blush. He berated himself for letting Roxas affect him so much and reducing him into a puddle of jelly. Two weeks without any contact with the blonde had worn his resolve down to nothing, apparently. He didn't know if he should get angry at himself or not. He wanted to see and feel Roxas again but he wasn't prepared for such an emotional onslaught on his behalf. He didn't understand it.

"Yeah?" Roxas questioned and combed his fingers through the redhead's hair a little. "Would it be weird if I said I missed you too?" he asked.

"…A little unexpected but no, I don't mind if it's a little weird," Axel said and hugged him. The blonde grunted against the force.

"Why is it unexpected?" he strained to say. The Carrier was crushing him a little too much. Axel let up some and he was able to breathe right again.

"I don't know, it just is. It doesn't sound like something you'd normally say."

"Oh. Well I did. So get over it."

"I _am_ over it. Now, I'm just happy," Axel smiled. He turned his face away and coughed into his shoulder a few times, though it sounded far less hoarse. Roxas didn't mind the germs so much anymore. He was just grateful for the cuddle. They lay together for as long as they could and the blonde drifted between sessions of partial consciousness. He finally decided to give up the warmth and comfort when his stomach started to growl loudly. Axel laughed into his chest and rubbed his back.

"Did you eat already?" Roxas asked.

"I did."

"What time did you wake up? Damn."

"Four thirty? Somewhere around there? Demyx was with me. I've been sleeping too much lately, I couldn't do it anymore."

"Oh."

"I'll let you get up now. Go ahead and eat, I'll be in the lab."

"Alright."

* * *

Cloud barged into Axel and Roxas' lab sometime around lunch and started rifling through their cabinets without any formal greeting or permission. The redhead didn't seem to care a great deal but the blonde thought the other Charge was being incredibly rude. Sure, he had gone down to Leon and Cloud's lab for things before but he had always _asked_ before sifting through things.

"Can I help you find something?" Roxas blurted in his annoyance. Axel cast his Charge a wary glance hoping the blonde wouldn't do anything to piss Cloud off.

"No, I've got it," the taller blonde said nonchalantly and stole a box of clean sample dishes before heading out again. Roxas gaped at him even after the doors swung closed. Axel chuckled a little.

"Problem?" he asked.

"That was really rude of him," the blonde huffed. Axel shrugged.

"Did you want to go tell him? Because I can go find a camera and tape it."

"I'm tempted to."

"I'm not going to stop you but you're putting your own life at risk. Especially if Leon is with him."

"I never got the impression Leon was quite so abrasive."

"He can be if he wants to be. He's overly protective of Cloud but he's not stupid enough to ignore the guy's social faux pas. It's a risk; I can't predict how they'll react. You could always just ignore it like everyone else does, too."

"Why does everyone hold them on a pedestal? They have their faults just like everyone else even if they are successful. I don't see why I should have to ignore either of their rudeness simply because they're farther ahead of us."

"Well not only can they both beat the shit out of you and most everyone else here, but they both do a lot to help everyone even if they have their own problems to deal with. They're very selfless in that respect. They're very dependable and have practically earned the right to be grumpy with everyone else. Don't take it personally though."

"Still. It bothers me."

"So I've noticed," the redhead grinned. Roxas furrowed his brows and huffed again. "You know, I used to hate it when you made that face. Now it's just really fucking cute. You look so pissed," he added and laughed. The blonde glared at him but Axel wasn't fazed.

"At what point did you decide it's 'cute?'" the blonde asked grumpily.

"I have no idea, I just realized it. I'm sorry to say but you remind me of an angry Pomeranian. My neighbor lady in Radiant Garden had one that made that face."

"You're not sorry at all," Roxas insisted and scowled.

"I'm sorry that it makes you angrier, not what it reminds me of. But the tradeoff for me is that your face gets better and the lines in your forehead get deeper, making you look more like a Pug, now."

"You're not helping," the blonde said and smacked him in the arm. Axel laughed.

"I know. I can't help it, it's just too easy sometimes," he said. Roxas forced his face to relax so the redhead couldn't have anymore satisfaction. He sighed heavily before stomping away to refocus on the specimen in the Pre-Gestational Prep Center. "Aww…I'm sorry," the redhead cooed.

"No, you're not," the blonde said angrily. He tried to be delicate about moving the arms around inside the metal case, but could feel his hands twitching with the desire to punch something. Axel's hands slid over his from behind and pulled them away from the machine. He folded them onto the blonde's chest and kept them in place with his own. He leaned over and whispered into the blonde's ear.

"Yes, I am," he said, his breath coasting over the shell of Roxas' ear. The blonde blushed with the feeling as the pit of his stomach tingled. Axel nuzzled the side of his neck before laying his cheek on his shoulder. "Forgive me?"

"Why should I?" the blonde spat. Axel stood straight again and slid his hands up to Roxas' shoulders and turned him around so they could face each other. He didn't give the blonde any more time to protest and held his face gently before pressing their lips together. Roxas' blush darkened and the redhead pulled away just enough to speak.

"Because I say so, that's why," he said quietly. Large blue eyes watched his for a moment with a hazy detached expression. Axel didn't really know what to make of it.

"Okay," Roxas squeaked and pressed forward again, reaching up to encircle Axel's neck and pull him into another kiss. Axel responded quickly and slid his hands around the blonde's back and pressed them against one another tightly. Tongues were swift to emerge and come together as they tasted each other, both becoming intoxicated on the sensations. Axel was disrupted though and forced to hold his breath to keep an unwelcome feeling at bay.

 _No…nonono…_ he thought frantically to himself as an overwhelming tickle crept into his throat. He held out for as long as he could but he forced himself to pull away. Roxas blinked in surprise at the abrupt disappearance and the redhead stepped to the side to assume a ragged coughing fit. The blonde sighed and reached over to rub his back.

"I forgot you're still sick," he said sadly.

"Sorry…" the redhead said and coughed a bit more. "That's probably not the most attractive thing I've ever done but at least I didn't cough in your face," he said with an embarrassed smile. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "I'm glad you don't care about my germs though."

"I don't think you're contagious anymore by this point."

"Aw, and here I thought you liked them."

"Like them enough anyway," Roxas said and gave him a small smile. He was thoroughly disappointed with the way things turned out but took some comfort in knowing it wasn't his fault this time. "Maybe it was divine intervention. Now, I can focus on my sample and hope that it hasn't already died."

"True."

"My productivity skyrocketed while you were in bed over the last few days though, you're distracting me," the blonde huffed and turned back to his work. Axel laughed.

"I could say the same for you."

* * *

"I don't even understand how you got so much of it," Leon said skeptically and squinted at the Erlenmeyer flask Demyx had handed him. The sandy blonde himself simply grinned.

"I have my ways, good buddy. I have my ways. Anyway, do you think it's enough to work with?" he asked. Leon shrugged.

"Why do you want me to do this again?"

"To help Axel!"

"Or help yourself?"

"Oh come on, you can't tell me that big oaf isn't backed up to holy hell and back. True, it's going to be _really_ funny in the beginning for my own benefit but he'll thank me. If you're really worried, you can blame it on Cloud."

"I'm not so sure Axel will appreciate the sentiment. Did you ever think he might like doing things his own way? You're so damn pushy."

"I am not!" Demyx huffed. "Axel doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't have a way. He's lost."

"He seems fine to me."

"Because you don't know him like I do. Please?"

"You do realize if I do this he might flip out too much and hurt someone, don't you? We've never tested this on Carriers before."

"I've tried it myself and it doesn't work very well but you're the only one I know that can concentrate it into a stronger dose because you're old and experienced like that," Demyx twittered. Leon stared at him with hard eyes. "Oh come on! You know you're old."

"Yeah, so I've been told," Leon said dully. He looked at the flask again. "Cloud," he said and the Charge looked over his shoulder from across the lab.

"What? I don't want any part in this, even if you do decide to blame it on me," he said grumpily.

"Just come here," Leon grumped. Cloud sighed and went to him. The Carrier pulled the rubber stopper off the top of the flask and held it out to him. "Sniff," he ordered. Cloud looked at him like he was insane.

"Fuck no," he scoffed. "Why? So you can rape me?"

"Just do it, I'm curious."

"No."

"Cloud…"

"No."

"Do it."

"Fuck off."

"…Please?" Leon hesitated. Demyx giggled a little under his breath. He hadn't heard Leon _ask_ for anything from Cloud in a while. It was always a demand. The Charge noticed too and gave his Carrier a suspicious look. He sighed.

"Fine," he spat and leaned forward enough to take a quick whiff. He recoiled immediately as his nose started to burn. He covered it with his hand. "Gah!" he cried. "What the fuck?" The substance didn't have a particular odor to it but it still burned.

"I can't smell it," Leon said and took a sniff. He shrugged, eyeing Cloud closely. The blonde blinked a few times as his eyes started to blur.

"Whoa," Demyx said. "Your pupils are flipping out, that's cool," he added and watched the black dots in Cloud's eyes fluctuate rapidly. Color rushed to Cloud's cheeks and he backed away. "Awesome. That's hilarious," Demyx said and started to laugh.

"It is, actually," Leon said through a spreading smile. He corked the flask again and set it aside. He and Demyx watched as the Charge staggered away, shaking his head to clear it. He muttered angrily to himself and rubbed his face. "Could you imagine if you had actually ingested this?" Leon asked.

"My skin feels like it's going to explode," Cloud said through his palms. He could feel the intense tingling spread from his nose like goosebumps across his cheeks and over his ears. Eventually it made its way down his neck and dissipated near his collar bones. He couldn't even begin to comprehend what it would've felt like if it had landed in his stomach and spread through the equal points of access therein. He blinked a few more times; pulling his eyes into focus again and he took a breath. "Ugh, that was awful."

"Zexion likes it," Demyx said.

"Hooray for Zexion then," Cloud said sarcastically. "Keep that shit away from me."

"Aw, you don't want to drink some?" Leon teased.

"No, keep your freak hands off of me if you're going to bring it home."

"Ooo," Demyx said. "He just challenged your dominance, Leon."

"Yes, I know. I'll handle that later," the other Carrier said and gave his Charge a wry smile. Cloud stomped away to get back to work. Leon picked the flask up again and turned it around in his hand, examining the clear liquid within. He contemplated the possibilities for a moment. "I'm a little hesitant to do this," he said.

"But you want to? Even just a little?" the sandy blonde asked hopefully. "If there's extra you can keep it, I don't mind."

"No way!" Cloud yelled from across the room.

"Be quiet! This doesn't concern you anymore," Leon barked. "I wouldn't give you a Carrier dose if I can get it right. That'd be insane."

"Glad we agree. I don't necessarily need you to take any either though," the Charge huffed.

"Who else is going to test it?" Leon questioned. "I'm not going to give it to someone else before I use it on myself, you know," he added. Cloud whipped around and gave him a harsh glare. "Scientific ethics Cloud," Leon chided. "Don't give consumables to people if you wouldn't consume them yourself."

"What the hell? You're not even going to consult how _I_ feel about this? It's my ass on the line here!" Cloud yelled. Demyx laughed.

"It's not _that_ bad!" the sandy blonde said and waved a dismissive hand.

"Fine, are you going to tell Roxas then? If this works and you give it to Axel, what then? He might actually hurt the kid. They have such a size difference in stature I can only imagine what the rest of it's like," Cloud said. Leon shrugged.

"Which is why we need to test it. If I kill you, then I won't give Axel any."

"Great. I didn't live an extra one hundred and forty years with your dumb ass just to be impaled to death, you know," Cloud growled.

"Why Cloud, I didn't know you were such a delicate flower," Leon chuckled.

"I'm not, but Roxas might be. You ever consider that?"

"I did, actually."

"Right, sure you did."

"I did!" Leon insisted.

"I'm just going to say it one more time. Roxas is small and compact. Axel is huge and not. Keep it in mind. I'm not responsible for your fuck up. You two should really be ashamed of yourselves," Cloud sighed and shook his head.

"I think it'll be great. I'm optimistic," Demyx chimed with a smile. "Hell, if it works, I'll take it myself."

"Indeed, we could open a new market and make our own money instead of waiting for Ansem's allowances," Leon agreed.

"Seriously! That'd be awesome."

"And then Ansem would shut you two down for using work time for something completely unnecessary and wasting his resources," Cloud said. "Ansem hates wasted time, but he hates wasted money more."

"Psh! We'll give him a cut," the sandy blonde said. Cloud groaned and held his face in one hand.

"You're missing the point. There's so much ethically wrong with this you don't even understand. God, you're terrible," he said. Demyx laughed.

"Terrible? Or charitable? So long as Leon can recover, Axel should be fine."

"I'm talking about Roxas! Axel is a fucking tank, he's the least of my concerns," Cloud said.

"I'll gauge the stability and how detrimental it is by how much damage you take," Leon said matter-of-factly. "Like I said, if you die, I'm not giving anyone anything. If you really don't want Roxas to have any, you better cry like a little bitch." Cloud's jaw dropped open.

"What?" he screamed. Demyx erupted into a suffocating laughing fit. Leon gave his Charge a sly grin. The blonde stalked across the room and pointed a finger in Leon's face. "Fuck you," he said and turned his pointed digit to Demyx "and fuck you," he said. He looked back to Leon. "You can fucking walk home. I'm done," he spat and stomped away angrily and through the lab doors. Demyx's laughter continued as he held his sides and crumpled to the floor.

"Oh, this is going to be awesome," Leon said.

* * *

Axel was frustrated. In more ways than one. His cough simply _refused_ to go away even after another week of recovery. He tried to keep his hands off of Roxas so he wouldn't tease the blonde too much by initiating things and then backing away when the tickling in his throat turned suffocating. He was so pent up he had resigned himself to keeping a few specimen canisters in his bedroom, something he never had to do before. He hoped Roxas didn't realize how much he wanted him, how much he craved him. The blonde didn't seem offended when Axel broke away from whatever heated kissing session they were having, but even then he gave no outward signs that he needed anything further. It was torturous.

The redhead slumped forward in his chair a bit and smacked his forehead on the metal surface of his desk. He groaned to himself and then proceeded to cough into his shirt. He was so tired of being sick. He didn't even feel like he was sick. He knew he was though, as the last part of his cough lingered. During the last checkup of his Primal form he watched Roxas cringe a bit as he hacked and coughed in the sickening way animals tended to do; open mouthed, open throated, and sounding very much like he was vomiting. It wasn't fun.

He didn't know what to do anymore. Roxas was hard to read. There were some instances in the near past where Axel was sure they could progress into something more, but then the blond would say some random thing and kill it. Now, he was unreadable but didn't have a chance to ruin anything because Axel couldn't stop coughing and disrupting everything first. The constant back and fourth was wearing heavily on his nerves and he was contemplating using Demyx's 'present' just get it out of his system. He knew he couldn't do that though, it wouldn't have been fair to Roxas.

"Are you okay?" the blonde asked as he peered at Axel's slumped frame curiously.

"I'm fine," the redhead lied. "Just… a little tired I guess."

"Did you need to lie down? You can. I don't mind."

"Maybe I should," Axel sighed, trying to remember how many specimen canisters he had left in his room.

* * *

"You can't honestly think I'd be happy with this," Cloud said as he cut into his steak. He knew he should've been suspicious as soon as he and Leon had come home and the Carrier offered to share. God forbid the bastard do something nice for him without asking for anything in return. Leon sat across the dining table from him like nothing was wrong and chewed on a piece of raw chicken.

"I can't believe you're not more excited."

"Why should I be? I thought you had given up on this."

"I never give up, you know that. Just because I didn't do anything in front of you doesn't mean I wasn't working on it."

"It doesn't matter if you were working on it or not, I didn't think you were so thick headed to go through with it. Do you not understand how wrong it is?"

"Oh I do. Forgive me for being a little selfish though. I must admit that when Demyx came to me, I was a little disgusted but then I thought about our possibilities."

"And yet you didn't even ask my permission?"

"Are you denying me?"

"Don't answer my question with another question. Why did you think I'd be okay with it?"

"Because you love me."

"Loving you and letting you rape me are two different things, Squall," Cloud said snidely as he glared across the table at his Carrier through his hair.

"I'm not raping you if you're willing. Are you not?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Don't answer my question with another question," Leon mocked. "Are you willing or are you not?"

"No. I'm not. There's nothing in it for me."

"Aside from a fantastic romp around the bedroom? You're cheapening our lovemaking substantially if you say that isn't worth it."

"Being abused isn't worth it."

"I'm not going to abuse you…"

"You don't know what kind of control or lack thereof you'll have with this shit."

"Should I go out and solicit a prostitute instead? I could."

"Are you serious?" Cloud asked, setting down his cutlery. "Why can't you just accept that it shouldn't happen?"

"I want to test it. I didn't put in the work with the intent to forget about it."

"You know I'm starting to think you're pushing this because you've grown bored of me, or something. Is that what this is?"

"Of course not."

"Then don't say you'll turn to someone else so easily."

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize what that implied when I said it."

"Somehow, I doubt that. You do what you want, Squall. You always do, so why did I even I think I could argue this?" Cloud sighed and stood. He cleared his dishes quietly; his appetite ruined, and dumped them off in the kitchen before heading upstairs. Leon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked at his plate and decided he wasn't hungry anymore, either. He stood and cleared his place as well, before heading upstairs after Cloud. He took a detour and washed his hands and brushed his teeth thoroughly in the bathroom before pushing into the bedroom. Cloud was sitting on their bed, reading something on his tablet with a scowl.

"Listen, I'm sorry," Leon said. Cloud looked at him but didn't say anything. The Carrier sighed a little and padded to the end of the bed and climbed in. He crawled across the covers and up the blonde's legs, hovering above his torso on all fours. He took the tablet out of Cloud's hands and set it aside before looking into his eyes. "Forgive me please?" he asked.

"Are you going to push it on me anymore?"

"…You know I can't give up on it so easily. But I don't want to make you angry with me either. I won't use it until you say it's alright."

"That's all I'm going to get, isn't it?" Cloud asked with annoyance.

"Well I have to piss you off a _little_ bit, don't I?" Leon smiled.

"No, you could always just be a little less of an asshole," the blonde said flatly, unfazed by the sarcastic humor.

"What fun would that be? I have to keep you on your toes."

"Ever hear the expression 'Happy wife, happy life?'"

"Are you implying that you're my wife, now?"

"No, but that's what I feel like I'm living with sometimes; an overbearing chauvinistic bastard of a husband. Your superiority complex really gets under my skin. You remember I put up with enough of that garbage when I was in the military, right?"

"I forget that sometimes."

"Well I would like it to stop. I'm not going to just roll over for you every time you don't get your way. I'm seriously against using that shit and if you can't accept it, well then that's your problem."

"You won't even consider it?"

"No," Cloud said sternly. "If you continue to push it on me, I might just leave you here and sleep at the facility."

"…Really?" Leon asked and raised a brow.

"Really."

"What if I can convince someone else to try it? Someone who can't hurt their Charge too much?"

"I don't know where you would find someone like that."

"I was thinking Tifa."

"Tifa doesn't have a key piece of anatomy to provide accurate results. You're testing rectal trauma, remember?"

"I'm testing control."

"I still don't like it."

"Zack isn't some cupcake. He can hold his own."

"Why are you so adamant about this?"

"Because the prospect of a successful test with something I created get's me hot, that's why," Leon purred. Cloud blinked and raised a suspicious brow.

"Does it now? Here I thought it's been me all these years."

"You too, but this is different."

"If you insist. Who do you like more though? Me or Lady Success?"

"Lady Success is a nice tease, but she's a terrible lay."

"Figments of your imagination tend to be like that."

"Good thing you're real then, yes?"

"Possibly. The only problem with that is I can deny you, whereas figments of your imagination tend to be obedient."

"You're seriously going to deny me tonight?"

"I'm still not happy with you. So I'm thinking that may be the case."

"What did you want me to do for you, then? To make you happy?" Leon asked and moved off to the side to sit on the bed properly instead of hovering. Cloud looked contemplative for a moment before pushing off the bed and heading out into the hallway. The Carrier stayed put and watched him leave. The blonde went about digging around in their tiny storage closet, looking for a couple things. He found the first thing and pocketed it before grabbing a bottle of lotion and heading back into the bedroom. He tossed the lotion on the bed before reassuming his position at the top. He propped himself up with a mass of pillows and stuck a foot out towards Leon and wiggled his toes.

"Get to rubbing," he ordered and the Carrier raised a brow. Leon looked at the lotion, then at the awaiting foot. He sighed and grabbed the bottle before shifting himself around for better access. Cloud tried his best to keep the smile off his face as Leon squeezed a bit of the glop into his hand and got to work. Leon sighed and resigned himself to his fate. He understood where Cloud was coming from in his argument against his selfishness but the blonde _knew_ he didn't like lotion. He didn't have a problem with Cloud's feet; it was the fragrances in the cream that made it awful. They made his nose itch something horrible and irritated his skin to no end. He muttered under his breath some and slid his fingers between the Charge's toes. There was a light ' _beep_ ' that drew his attention upward and Cloud was giving him a very smug and satisfied smile from behind a tiny digital camera.

"What the hell? Were you taking a picture or recording me?" Leon asked with immediate annoyance.

"Both. Zack owes me seven hundred Credits now."

* * *

Roxas chewed on his lip in thought. He was more than aware of Axel's apparent sexual frustration. His watch had been alerting him to every instance of masturbation the redhead had and it was a little alarming. He could understand that they were attracted to one another. He could also understand that Axel might be shy. What he couldn't understand though, was why the redhead pulled away so much. Yes, he was still coughing a great deal and it was a deterrent as far as the immediate moment went, but Roxas was trying his best to not make things awkward and let it all progress. It almost seemed like Axel was apologizing and feeling embarrassed for being sick, which shouldn't be the case.

The blonde didn't know what to do. He didn't want to force it on his Carrier but if Axel felt that he couldn't continue after needing a moment to regain his composure, then Roxas felt he should let him. He had no idea what the redhead was thinking, after all. There could be some other underlying problem that he wasn't even aware of lingering around. He considered telling Axel how much he needed to masturbate during this time as well. He then wondered how someone even brought that up in casual conversation.

_Hey, don't feel bad. I need to jerk off a bunch too. Let's skip the middle man and just fuck already. Or, if that's a bit much right away, just suck me off, I'm cool with that._

That didn't seem like a very couth way of going about things. He was still insanely curious about Axel's anatomy though. The blonde still hadn't done a proper physical on him, but until Axel got sick, there was nothing wrong enough to warrant one. Ansem probably wasn't happy with him, since he was blatantly ignoring his duties, but the man never said anything. Perhaps that's what prompted the call to Axel several weeks ago. Roxas still couldn't think about that without getting angry. He shook his head to clear the thoughts away before he could get carried away.

He was tempted to ask Demyx about Axel's size. It was a constantly nagging question for him and one that was ultimately holding him back from getting seriously aggressive in his pursuit. Getting Axel hot and bothered and then having a heart attack if his dick really was huge, then denying him out of fright, didn't seem like a nice thing to do. His plan of barging in while Axel was providing another sample for the lab wasn't turning out so great. The watch alerted him when the redhead was finishing, but nothing during. Roxas then tried to figure out why he still left the sensitivity so high if he wasn't going to do anything about it.

Oh yeah, he wanted to know just how much Axel _really_ wanted him. It was flattering. Call him vain but it really was a tiny guilty pleasure he allowed himself to have. To know the object of one's desires, desired them just as much in return was a nice thing to know. Roxas just wished they both had a clue as to how to handle each other. He sighed and looked at his watch, it was going on midnight and he hadn't been able to fall asleep yet. He looked outside and could see the waning moon through the glass of the dome casting a faint blue glow over the entire city. His running mind was keeping him awake and though the scenery was prettiest when it was nighttime, he still wasn't happy about it.

We wondered if Axel was still awake.

* * *

Axel squashed a pillow over his face and let out a frustrated groan. Why had he insisted that he and Roxas sleep separately? He didn't want to. He didn't know why he felt like the blonde should stay away. He wanted him there, in his bed, and either sleeping, or pressed up against him in some way. Or both! Both would be fine. He coughed into his pillow a few times and when he couldn't stop, he sat up and continued. Oh yeah. _That's_ why he didn't want Roxas there.

Once his fit was over, he sighed. He smashed his palms into his eyes and rubbed them furiously before running his fingers through his hair and over his face, smooshing his skin around until it hurt. What he hell was happening with him? He never used to care about sex so much before. In fact, when Roxas first came with him, it was the last thing on his mind. He provided a fresh sample for the lab just like he was supposed to every week, but he never had such a _need_ before. To make matters worse, he couldn't tell if Roxas needed it like he did. He was completely clueless.

It wasn't so much that he was ignorant with the way to do things once it got physical. He had studied _everything_ humans could do together over the years and he knew human behavior very well as far as dealing with them, but he couldn't understand _Roxas_ in the least. He thought he was prepared. He thought he knew him enough for this. Apparently not. Perhaps he should've paid attention to the blonde when he was with his girlfriends. What helped things along, what Roxas liked done to him like that, what were the signs that showed he was ready? Axel had no idea. The absolute disadvantage he had put himself in made his frustration even worse. He didn't even record those instances of Roxas' past! He had nothing to reference back to! Even if Roxas had the patience to wait until Axel understood, it wasn't like the redhead could start studying up on it and help himself.

He sighed again and pulled at his hair. He mentally kicked himself for allowing this to happen. No one else he knew was having these issues. Sora was whisked away easily enough by Riku, though the Carrier always had the distinct advantage of his looks to aid him. Demyx had the personality that could pull anyone in until he could win them over with his fantastic athletic ability. Leon…well Leon was Leon and Leon gets what Leon wants. His pride and confidence probably helped him considerably followed by his never ending determination to succeed. With the way his and Cloud's relationship was, it seemed like he was able to win Cloud over simply because he picked at the taller blonde long enough until he eventually caved, not by charming him. Which was an entirely plausible scenario.

What did Axel have? Not a whole lot, he felt. He wasn't the prettiest, or the fastest, and he wasn't insensitive enough to pick at Roxas until he caved. He was just…Axel. And he didn't have much going for him. Still, there had to be _something_ otherwise Roxas wouldn't be so willing to be around him.

He just wished he knew what it was.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Sora panted as Riku tugged at his shorts with his teeth. The Carrier had been so playful today and the brunette couldn't understand why. Not that he was complaining, he was enjoying himself very much but it was still different from the way he usually was. Riku grabbed onto Sora's leg and pulled him close so he could have better leverage to tug at the offending piece of clothing. Sora must have lost weight, needed a belt, or just liked his pants a little bigger because they were falling down. Riku didn't care, he was more concerned at getting the brunette out of them, which he was succeeding doing. The brunette squealed and grabbed at the tops of his shorts and held them in place.

"Not in front of Roxas and Axel! Damn!" Sora yelled but couldn't keep his laughter back any longer. He tried to back away some but the Carrier held him in place. The brunette surrendered and sighed, flopping onto the ground. If Riku wanted him on the ground, he could be on the ground. "You chased me around and tried to rip off my shorts, why should I play with you anymore?" the brunette questioned and dug around in his pockets for his earpiece. Riku opened his fuzzy jaw and Sora plugged into his Link and placed the device on his ear.

" _Your pants were falling down anyways. I figured I'd help them along._ "

"Yeah well, I need to get a belt. Leave me be," Sora huffed.

Axel almost gagged at their display. He was a little jealous though; he and Roxas couldn't play like that unless he wanted Roxas pancakes. It was tempting, but not very nice if the blonde couldn't bounce back afterwards. Roxas was too involved with whatever was on his tablet for the week and Axel made sure to dunk his tail into the pool and get it nice and drippy before casually walking by and running it over the blonde's face. Roxas yelped and sputtered in surprise.

"Axel!" he barked and set his tablet aside before whirling on the Primal. He wiped at his face and sent the cat a glare which Axel couldn't see because he was too busy being casual and heading away from him. Inside though, the redhead was laughing. Roxas huffed and returned to his tablet. He glared at it like it had killed his mother. He didn't _want_ to feel Axel's testicles like this. Yes, it was an important part of the tiger's anatomy but…no! Not nice. Not yet. Maybe when he was comfortable with the other half first then he could play zookeeper, but not now. It was too weird. "Axel…" he trailed tensely. The cat perked up at his sudden change of tone and made his way back to where the blonde was sitting on the edge of the pool. The blonde held up his earpiece and Axel opened obediently.

" _What's up_?" he asked once everything was plugged in and set.

"Uh… it's time to check your… stuff."

" _My wh—Oh. Not ready_?"

"Not really," the blonde said sheepishly.

" _Okay hang on,_ " Axel said and moved back a few feet before sitting. He was careful not to step on the cord of the earpiece as he picked up his back feet a little and pulled his hind end across the grass with his front. Roxas' face twisted itself to a look of amusement mixed with horror.

"What the fuck?" he asked abruptly. "Do you have worms or something?"

" _I don't have fingers! Shut up! You try doing this! Would you rather I start licking myself? Because I have that ability_."

"What's that like, by the way? Fuzzy?"

" _Ew, stop._ "

"It was your idea; I was just asking a question."

" _Did you want to try_?"

"Yuck."

" _That's what I thought. I may be a tiger but I have a human mind. I'm not into bestiality. Even if it's with myself. That's just weird._ "

"Good. That makes me feel better."

" _Furthermore, I don't even use my sexual organs when I'm like this. They just come with the packaging, so to speak. And they're fine by the way. Nothing hurts or whatever so just fudge your report for now_."

"Okay…" the blonde said and started poking away at his tablet.

" _Now, if you really want to know what it's like, go ahead and bend over but I should warn you of the barbs on my dick first._ "

"Okay stop. I don't need to know."

" _Yes you do._ "

"Not when it pertains to me personally it doesn't. What are the barbs for or should I not ask?"

" _All male cats have them. It stimulates ovulation in females when the male pulls out. I could technically go up to one of the future females of my kind and screw her but I'm seriously…really not into that. Oh god…that's so gross._ "

"So does that mean Leon cou—"

" _Yes_."

"Ugh! That's disgusting. Please tell me it's never happened before."

" _You'd have to ask him, I don't know. I'm not so sure Cloud would have appreciated it if he had though. I never got the impression Leon was freaky like that, but what do I know? He could be all hopped up on sex drugs and have a cabinet full of toys he and Cloud fiddle with for all I know_."

"Axel! Stop!" Roxas gasped and held his face in his hands. "Just because no one else can hear you doesn't mean I want to!"

"What's he saying?" Sora called from across the grassy knoll.

" _Everything_!" the Carrier exclaimed happily into the earpiece.

"Nothing!" Roxas said aloud, his cheeks burning with color.

"I doubt that!" the brunette called back. "Naughty Axel! Don't make Roxas pass out! Look at his face!"

" _I can't tell, are you blushing_?"

"You can't tell? My ears are about to explode, damn it," Roxas said grumpily.

" _Colorblind_."

"Oh yeah, how's that working out for you?"

" _Boring. How's being short working out for you_?"

"Awkward. How's having two different sets of balls working out for you?"

" _Eh… it's nothing special. They're both covered in hair so at least they stay warm_ ," Axel said casually and Roxas laughed.

* * *

Cloud sighed. To everyone else that looked at him, it would've seemed like everything was fine with Leon, but the blonde knew better. His Carrier was _sulking_ even if it wasn't obvious. Tifa wouldn't try out Leon's concoction and now the guy was moping about and making a general nuisance of himself. It was taxing being around him while he was like that and Cloud tried his best to focus on his work. It wasn't the same kind of emotion they could share like after the poaching, so it was terribly one-sided on Leon's end. His lover was hell bent on getting his way though and had even transposed his new toy into quick release easy to swallow capsules, much to the blonde's chagrin. As much as he hated to admit it though, Leon was slowly picking away at his resolve. It was only a matter of time if Cloud didn't think of something quickly.

"Stop it," Cloud ordered and sent Leon a glare.

"Stop what?" he asked innocently.

"Hovering," the blonde spat and moved a few feet away for some breathing room. Leon gave him a sideways once-over.

"You made my hands itch for four days. You owe me," the Carrier said and moved a little closer.

"I owe you nothing."

"You used me for profit. You owe me."

"…Okay maybe that was a little much but you deserved it."

"You've _denied me_ even after you made my hands itch and used me for profit. You haven't touched me in days! You owe me," he said and moved closer still.

"You're driving me up the wall, stop it," Cloud growled and tried to move away again, but had run out of open space and was cornered.

"So long as I can screw you on the ceiling, I don't care what I do to you," Leon said slyly. He stepped closer and Cloud turned so his back was against the wall, pinned. The blonde glared at him but the Carrier was unfazed and gave him a half-lidded lustful smirk.

"Squall…"

"Yes, Cloud?"

"I hate you."

"No you don't. You have a temporary mild dislike of me right now because I'm winning."

"No you're not."

"Sure I am," Leon said simply and flicked a piece of golden hair. Cloud didn't react.

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because I always win."

"Again, what makes you so sure?"

"I got you to follow me, didn't I? And what have you been doing ever since?"

"Catering to you every whim?"

"Exactly. Glad we agree."

"Yeah, I've been trying to cut down on that honestly. I hate myself for it sometimes. I really do."

"Oh now it's not all that bad, is it?" Leon cooed and smiled pleasantly. "Don't I reciprocate well enough?"

"Not really," Cloud said flatly and gave him a very blank and uncaring expression. Leon's eyes widened some in shock and he stepped back.

"Wait a minute, what?"

"I said, 'not really.'"

"Wh—since when?" the Carrier stammered.

"Not very long, if it makes you feel better."

"But you never said anything. Why didn't you say something?"

"I did. You didn't listen to me."

"When?" Leon asked, the concern was starting to set in and Cloud could tell.

"If you don't remember, then it obviously didn't register and that means you don't care enough. Whatever, don't worry about it too much," the blonde said flippantly and pushed himself from the wall and headed for the doors.

"Wh-where are you going?" Leon asked worriedly. He felt like someone had ripped his heart out and slapped him across the face with it. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening.

"Nowhere," Cloud spat and shoved himself through the lab doors, leaving Leon to himself. Once he was a reasonable distance down the hall he sighed and mentally chastised himself for how close he had come to giving in.

Desperate times called for desperate measures and if Leon wasn't going to think of anyone but himself, well, Cloud couldn't let that slide. Obviously after so many years of dedication, he was miffed that the Carrier wouldn't listen to him and just let things die like they were supposed to. There was only one other person he could think that shared his sentiment on the whole drug issue and hopefully she would be willing to cooperate enough to knock some sense into him.

* * *

"Leon!" Demyx twittered and pushed his way into the lab. "How's it coming?" he asked with a wide smile. He blinked a few times in confusion as he took in the other Carrier's sullen form. Leon had taken to sitting at his desk, slumped over, with his face pressed into the metal surface. His hair billowed out and created a fuzzy halo around him, shielding his face entirely. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," came the flat and unfeeling response.

"Then why do you look like someone murdered your family?"

"…Think about what you just said and then punch yourself in the testicles."

"Holy shit!" Demyx gasped. "I'm so sorry; I didn't even mean it like that! Oh my god, that was bad. I'm sorry!" he blurted quickly.

"Whatever, just leave," Leon sighed.

"I will, I just wanted to ask how everything is coming, but if you want to punch me in the face before I go, you can do that. I'll understand."

"I'm not going to punch you. Everything's coming along fine. It's finished, but I haven't been able to test it. Leave now."

"Cloud holding out on you?"

"Leave, Demyx."

"I bet that's what it is."

"Leave."

"If you want—"

"Go away."

"—I can test it."

"Leav—really?" Leon asked and turned his face and blew his hair out of the way to look at the sandy blonde. Demyx smiled and nodded.

"Sure! Why not?"

"I didn't think you'd risk Zexion like that. He's almost as small as Roxas is."

"Yeah, but I'm not as big as Axel."

"I'm still wary. Regardless of size, you're still way stronger than he is. At least Cloud knows how to hurt me if I hurt him first so it's evens out a little."

"Psh! Nonsense! I'll be fine. Where is it?" he asked, looking around.

"…You sure? I don't want you to get upset if you end up hurting him."

"He'll be okay, trust me," Demyx assured and gave the other Carrier a wink. Leon looked contemplative for a moment. He _really_ wanted to test it. His new situation with Cloud was beginning to dwarf his desire to use it on himself. He wanted the test out of the way and over with so he could try to understand why he wasn't satisfying his Charge. He sighed.

"Fine," he said and sat up and opened his desk drawer. He produced a small plastic bottle. "Here," he said and held it out. Demyx took it and looked it over.

"I gave you two hundred and fifty milliliters of the shit and you squeezed it all into five capsules? Damn!" the sandy blonde said and shook the bottle. "How did you even figure it all out? I thought there'd be way more."

"I took the average height, weight, and metabolisms of all the Carriers here and yeah… I spend two days simply crunching numbers to come up with a median dosage. Then I extracted most of the water out, then whittled it down until it was concentrated enough. Don't let any humans take that by accident, it may kill them. I'm serious."

"No way! I'm not that stupid."

"I hope not."

"I won't! Here. If you don't believe me," the sandy blonde insisted and twisted off the top of the bottle before digging a capsule out and recapping it. He handed the bottle back to Leon. "You hang on to the rest."

"Alright."

"Huh. How long is does it take to work?" Demyx asked and held the pill between his forefinger and thumb. It was clear and didn't have any discernable look to it.

"About ten minutes give or take. In theory."

"Fancy. Well, I'm off then! If I don't come back in a week, you killed me and it's your responsibility to take care of Zexion," he twittered and grinned. Leon smirked.

"I don't think it'll kill you. I'm more concerned about Zexion."

"Yeah yeah…" the sandy blonde trailed and made his way out of the lab. Once he was gone, Leon sighed and rubbed his eyes. At least he could feel content having gotten _one_ thing accomplished that day. Hopefully by tomorrow, Demyx will be able to give a full report and he could squelch the intense curiosity he was plagued by. He glared across the room at the Extractor. He hated that thing. It was a beginning step for their work, which reminded him he was trying to start anew, and reminding him of his loss. He didn't want to go back to work. He wanted to find Cloud, but he knew how disastrous that could be with the way the blonde had blown him off and stomped out. He sighed again.

Leon wasn't having a good day.

* * *

Demyx examined his new plaything carefully. He debated whether or not to take the capsule and surprise his Charge, or do it in front of him. Decisions, decisions. He trusted Leon, much like he trusted everyone else he knew and he was sure the other Carrier wasn't trying to hurt anyone. Demyx wasn't looking to hurt anyone either, he genuinely wanted to help Axel out. If this was how he could do his part, then so be it. He'd take one for the team.

"Zex?" the sandy blonde asked as he reentered his lab. His Charge looked up from his tablet and raised a brow.

"Yes?" he asked curiously.

"Remember what I told you about helping Axel out? And what I asked Leon to do for me?"

"Yes."

"Well he finished. Want to play guinea pig with me?"

"Guinea pig? I thought he was going to test it himself."

"He was, but I think don't think Cloud is letting him."

"Leon asked permission? That's a little strange."

"Isn't it though? I don't know exactly what's happening but he can't do it for whatever reason," Demyx said calmly and moved behind Zexion and draped his arms over his Charge's shoulders and planted a light kiss behind his ear. He held up the capsule and Zexion took it and looked it over.

"So you volunteered then I take it?" the Charge asked.

"You know me so well."

"You're not that hard to figure out."

"Feh…so you say."

"I speak the truth," Zexion said and leaned back against Demyx's chest. "I'm going to be honest and say I'm a little unsure about this."

"What's the worst that happens? You call some backup and I have my stomach pumped?"

"Or, you break my neck."

"Well hopefully I'll be too busy with lower parts of you to bother with your neck," the sandy blonde purred and rubbed his nose against the shell of his Charge's ear. "Please?"

"Are you really doing this to help Axel? Or are you hoping for some sort of scientific breakthrough in the field of sex drugs to use to your advantage?"

"Maybe a little of both at this point."

"Now Dem…"

"I know I know but you can't blame a guy for wanting to try something new and reckless, yeah?"

"You mean I can't blame _you_ for wanting to try something new and reckless?"

"Right," Demyx said happily and smiled.

"I suppose I can't, can't I?" Zexion sighed, knowing he was attempting to fight a losing battle. He wasn't exactly opposed to the idea of using the drug to begin with, but he would've preferred it if they weren't going to be the first.

"Nope. It's why you love me."

"That's true."

"So is that a yes?" Demyx asked hopefully. Zexion took a moment to think, contemplating the pros and cons and deciding how much he trusted not only Demyx, but Leon's abilities to not create anything toxic by accident. He took a deep breath.

"Sure."

* * *

Cloud returned to the lab with Tifa in tow. He entered to find his Carrier sitting at his desk with the bottle of capsules he had created, turning the plastic cylinder over and over as the pills rattled around inside. He looked thoughtful and stared into space. Once Cloud reentered though, Leon was pulled out of his thoughts and gave the blonde his full attention. He then squinted at Tifa, thoroughly confused. Cloud lead the woman over to him and they stopped a few feet away, the blonde looking serious, Tifa with a wide smile.

"What's this now?" Leon asked.

"Hi again Leon," Tifa said cheerfully and gave a little wave.

"Hello…"

"I want you to have sex with Tifa," Cloud blurted abruptly and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What?" Leon sputtered. He looked at Cloud and then the woman, neither of whom changed expressions. "Why would you tell me that? You leave me here to wallow in my own mind for an hour after you tell me how unsatisfying I am and then you come back with this?"

"So that's a no?" The Charge asked flatly.

"Of course not! What does Zack think of this?"

"Oh he's fine," Tifa reassured.

"Why won't you?" Cloud asked.

"Because I don't want to. Isn't that a little obvious?" Leon asked, the befuddlement was beginning to fall away and anger was starting to take its place.

"Why?" the blonde persisted. "Think about it."

"Because she's not of my species maybe?"

"Neither am I, technically," Cloud said. "That doesn't seem to be a deterrent."

"Maybe I'm not pretty or blonde enough," Tifa added and cleared the distance between she and Leon. She wrapped her arms around his neck loosely and combed her fingers through his hair gently. He scowled but made no move to touch her. She smiled. "Is that what it is?"

"No. Your looks have nothing to do with it," Leon said, with voice straining to stay calm under his building rage.

"Oh? Well then why not?"

"Because you're not Cloud."

"Well you're obviously having marital problems otherwise I wouldn't be here to teach you how to be a better lover, now wouldn't I? I have things that can make up for the lost anatomy if that's what you're worried about," she said coolly and giggled. Leon's eyes narrowed. He had never hit a woman before in his life but it was suddenly a very tempting proposition. He took some comfort in knowing that Tifa was a Carrier and could probably take a punch easily enough so at the very least, he wouldn't kill her.

"You can't help," he said. "Not with this."

"Why not?"

"Because it isn't natural for me to bed with a woman."

"Oh, so you're worried about doing things naturally now? What's _natural_ Leon?" Cloud interjected angrily. Tifa giggled and stepped away from the other Carrier with a smile. Leon blinked confusedly. "Because for the last four days I've been trying to figure out if you still cared about that. I've been purposefully ignoring you, hoping you'd understand my feelings on your newfound obsession, but you're too thick headed to get it."

"So…you're not trying to get me to sleep with Tifa?" Leon asked with a raised brow.

"No! Why would I do that? You wouldn't listen to _me_ so I sought the help of someone who shared my sentiments on the idea of using _chemicals_ in the bedroom. Tifa was the first that came to mind. Do you get it yet? I don't want them because it isn't _natural_. If you can't get past it, then you're even dumber than I thought."

"So when you told me I wasn't satisfying…"

"It was to get you to wake up. Did you really think I'd stick around this long if you were terrible?"

"…Wow. I'm kind of an ass aren't I?" Leon asked and itched the back of his neck, furrowing his brows together. Tifa laughed.

"Maybe just a little," she said. "If that's all you need me for, then I'll leave you two alone," she added. Cloud nodded his thanks and she waved at both of them before taking her leave quietly. The blonde sighed and looked his Carrier over.

"God, you're stupid," he said.

"I'm more upset at myself for having driven you to that point, honestly."

"I feel better after hearing you say that. Thank you."

"Did you really have to stomp on my nuts like that though?" Leon asked grumpily.

"Apparently if I want your attention I have to either lick them or kick them. I wasn't prepared to do the former just yet, not for this. So yes, I had to hit you where it hurts."

"Well if you had held out just a little longer you would've caught Demyx. He volunteered to test it for me."

"…Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Well fuck, you could've told me that."

"I just did," Leon said and smirked.

"Sooner would've been better. It would've saved me from seeing you with Tifa's arms all over you."

"That was your own fault."

"Stop being a dipshit and we wouldn't have these problems. You didn't give them _all_ to him, did you?"

"No."

"Good."

"You're not the least bit curious about the results though?"

"The only way I'd be interested in something like that is if it turned you into my own personal little bitch. I don't think that's the case though. After all, it can't be my birthday everyday, now can it?"

"It'd make my prostate exams too easy for you if it was," Leon chuckled.

* * *

"Shit shit shit!" Yuffie swore as she bounded out of her little tailor shop and hurriedly locked the door behind her. Her Aero slipped from under her arm and clattered onto the sidewalk which caused a new string of profanities to escape from her vocal chords. She sighed as its new decal was scuffed. She examined the device closely to assess any further damage and decided it was alright to ride still. She couldn't run the entire way up to the canine and feline facilities, and the Aero was quicker than walking but it was still far too slow for her liking. She sighed; resolving herself to her fate hoping she had charged the battery long enough. She pressed the power button and waited for the disk to expand before she jumped on and hovered for a moment. She settled her footing and leaned into the movement and she was off.

She could only hope that she could give everyone enough time.

* * *

"I don't understand why you had to stay there the entire time though; didn't you have the giant crystal thing in the basement to transport you back and fourth? Did you _really_ have to stay there for the full twenty years?" Roxas asked. He and Axel were still outside with Sora and Riku, enjoying the sunshine.

" _How else was I supposed to watch you? I couldn't do it from here and it's not exactly cost effective to use the Transporter that often. So yeah, I had to stay there,_ " Axel said.

"Good god. Indigestion for twenty years? Are you insane?" the blonde snorted.

" _You're telling me. Though, it wasn't always there. It was mainly in the beginning and while I was in between paychecks and couldn't afford meat without horrendous amounts of preservatives._ "

"Wait so you had to go to school and work and everything else?"

" _Of course. I worked odd jobs until I could go to school and get my degree without having someone look at me and question my age. If I got my degrees too early, and I went to work at your college, it would've been weird. They'd be like 'You got this thing fifteen years ago? How old are you again?' and I'd have to make up something and I didn't want to create more strife than I needed._ "

"Riku and Leon and Cloud, too?"

" _Yes. Leon and Cloud came in only for the few months Riku and I were going to work with you and Sora though._ "

"Wow. Dedication."

" _It's all we have. What else were we going to do? Sit around? We had bills to pay._ "

"Well couldn't you have just created forgeries for all that you needed? You obviously had the proper paperwork in order to apply for the colleges. Why not just skip the process and get right to the degree?"

" _I was technically an immigrant from Norway. Before I even went to Radiant Garden I learned Swedish and Norwegian just to be safe. If the colleges and other jobs had cared enough, they could've gone through immigration and seen that I really had no other papers to speak of other than what I provided them in identification, which were legal for Radiant Garden anyway so why do the extra work? The only thing I had forged was my birth certificate. The rest couldn't have been forged because they tended to go back and check those things for legitimacy. Leon and Cloud had forged degrees though because it didn't matter if they got caught. They could just break away from wherever and come back here without risking anything._ "

"I suppose that's true. It seems like a lot of work just for me, though."

" _It was worth it._ "

"Oh, well thank you," Roxas smiled. "I suppose I was going through the same process though. I just had to start at birth, rather than…however old you were when you started."

" _Appeared twenty-four, actually sixty-six. A lot of my jobs didn't question me and I wasn't working for places that required any sort of education or degree and for many years I played the ignorant foreigner for them until I could actually get my foot in the door._ "

"What, like ship yards and factory stuff?"

" _Those, retail, landscaping, janitorial stuff, stupid fast food places that made me gag all day…_ "

"I can see where that would be a problem. I always had myself convinced that McDonalds burgers were made of snake meat. I never worked there, myself."

" _You and that stupid ice cream place. God I would cringe every time I caught you eating that Sea Salt whatever the fuck it was. Disgusting_."

"Hey, don't knock it till you try it. That stuff was awesome."

" _If you say so,_ " Axel said skeptically. Sora and Riku had taken rolling around in the grass together again and Roxas shook his head a little. " _Jealous_?" the cat asked.

"Not in the least. I really don't see the appeal. I like the grass just fine but I like my clothes staying stain free just as much."

" _Well I'm jealous. I'm too big to play with anyone like that. Except for Leon maybe but he's all dried up and crotchety. Demyx never wants to wrestle, he wants to run and I don't really know anyone else well enough like I know them to be all like 'roll around in the grass with me because I like it, please.'_ "

"Oh. Well what about Tifa?"

" _I hardly ever catch her outside. She doesn't really like her Primal form much either. I mean, it's not like I've_ never _wrestled with anyone before but I can't do it often as I'd like. Once I have more of my kind to bum around with I'll probably be out more._ "

"I look forward to it."

" _Really?_ "

"Sure, I've never seen a pile of tigers before, have you?"

" _Only in my imagination_ ," Axel said dreamily. " _I should probably change back soon so we can get some legitimate work done._ "

"I'm surprised you've put up with it this long, honestly."

" _It's only been a few hours._ "

"Which is way more than normal."

" _True, but when I'm like this I can lick your face and get away with it_ ," he said and looked down the line of his hulking orange body at the blonde who was lying peacefully against his ribcage. Roxas looked to him with wide eyes.

"Please don't."

" _Oh but I want to,_ " Axel retorted and started to pull his top half around for better access. Roxas tried to scramble away but a huge paw kept him in place.

"No!" he cried as the cat inched closer, shoving a large fuzzy face next to his own and giving him a delicate sniff. The blonde tried to push him away but his feeble attempts were thwarted as Axel easily pushed through his hands and ran an enormous sandpapery tongue over the entire length of his face and up into his hair. The blonde could hear Axel's laughing through the earpiece but he was less than pleased with the outcome and furrowed his brows angrily.

" _That was totally worth it, even if you are angry with me_."

"Your breath is terrible, damn," Roxas sputtered and wiped at his face. "I'm going to have to shower."

" _Really? It doesn't bother me at all._ "

"I wonder why?" the blonde spat, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "Asshole. I should shave you."

" _That'd be awful. Do you realize how much girth I would lose? I'm almost tempted to let you do it just so I can see what it would look like, though. That could be really funny_."

"That was a threat; you're not supposed to like it."

" _Well it's not like it's permanent._ "

"I think shaving Riku would be better, honestly."

" _Yes! Do it! He'd be so scrawny. Oh god, you_ have _to._ "

"Eh…maybe if Sora goes on vacation or something where he wouldn't find out about it right after the fact. I'm not entirely sure Riku would stay still though. I know I wouldn't."

" _True, but he might actually do it if you ask him. He's got a pretty good sense of humor. All he'd have to do is change back and when he changes again after that, it'd all be there again. It's not like he'd have to wait for it to grow._ "

"It's tempting. It really is, but we shouldn't do it until we're _really_ bored. It's sort of pointless, you know?"

" _Completely pointless, that's what makes it funny_."

"Someday, Axel. Someday. But not today."

" _Fine, have it your way_ ," Axel huffed. " _Nice hair by the way_."

"What?" the blonde asked and reached up to take a feel. There was a large piece sticking up that had been licked skyward and glued in place by tiger saliva. "Damn it," he grumbled and tried to squash it down. "That's it. I'm done. Time to change back, I'm going ahead and getting a shower," he demanded and pulled the earpiece off of his ear. Axel opened for him and Roxas disconnected it before shoving himself off of the grass and stomping off towards the doors.

 _Aw, poor baby can't take a little hair gel,_ Axel mentally cooed to himself.

* * *

Sora watched his brother stalk off inside with a raised brow. Axel didn't seem too bothered by it though and calmly pulled himself up off of the grass and walked calmly behind the waterfall to change back. Riku had perched himself across the brunette's back and was basking in the sunlight. Sora was trying to not focus on the crushing of his internal organs and picked at the grass as he lay on his stomach. He froze when he felt a tongue wipe through the back pieces of his wild hair. He blinked.

"What're you _doing_?" he asked confusedly.

" _Axel did it, I was just curious. And as I suspected, it tastes like hair._ "

"Yeah, that's usually the way hair tastes."

" _I was just trying to understand the appeal._ "

"Well don't expect me to do the same to you, I'm good. I really don't need to chew on fur for my own amusement."

" _No carpet munching for you, then_?"

"No thanks!" Sora laughed and set his face in the grass. "That was gross, dude."

" _Oh? I thought you liked girls._ "

"Girls aren't the problem. Chewing on hair is the problem."

" _I see. I'll have to remember that._ "

"Ugh, finally!" came an exasperated voice Sora didn't recognize. They both looked off to the side just as a young Asian looking woman crested the hill. She was coming from the direction of the canine facility and thus, approaching the back part of the feline facility where the pool was. She started to cross the grassy area towards the building's entrance.

"Who's that?" the brunette whispered.

" _You don't remember Yuffie from when we went shopping?_ "

"Oops. I forgot. I remember her now. Kind of. It was a while ago."

" _Well she may or may not remember you either so I wouldn't feel bad. I wonder what she wants._ "

"Don't you guys have any security here? She just walked right up the hill like it was nothing," Sora gaped.

" _We don't, really. The people tend to stay away unless they're really familiar with us, like Yuffie is. Then again, most everyone who lives in this dome are either Carriers, Charges, Technicians and their families, and people like Yuffie anyway so it's no big deal. There are guards at the entrances of the dome and they handle outsiders pretty well._ "

"Riku!" Yuffie called when she could make out the gray shape in the grass. The Carrier pushed himself up to a sitting position in response and flicked his tail in recognition. The girl started to jog until she cleared the distance and she stopped at his side, panting some in her effort. She smiled at the brunette. "Sora, right?"

"Yep! Hi again," Sora said happily and pulled his legs under himself and shifted around to sit up.

"Hi, I have some news. Can you help me tell everyone that Ansem is away and Saïx is coming in his place for the monthly inspection?" she said with a bit of worry in her tone.

" _Fuck! No!_ " Riku called. Sora looked at the cat then back at the girl.

"What? Is that a problem?" he asked curiously. Yuffie nodded.

"Saïx is really terrible. I just wanted to warn everyone because the inspection is like… tomorrow or something if I remember correctly. Technically, this isn't in his jurisdiction so he'll be cranky he had to travel so far, and he doesn't like Carrier personalities that can stand up to him with little fear. He usually governs like the avians and the rodents, people who are timid and will obey easily. He doesn't like the canines and felines," she said quickly. "But we need to spread the word so everyone can get things in shape for him."

" _He's really strict. If anything is out of place, he'll flip out. We need to hurry so everyone has time._ "

"Okay," Sora said and Riku opened his jaws for him to disconnect the earpiece. The brunette stood and patted his head. "Get changed, I'll help Yuffie."

"Come on, time's a-wasting!" she called and they took off for the doors.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

The best part about being in love with Demyx, Zexion thought, was that he had the incredible ability to make anyone feel like they're the most important person in the world. Always upbeat and cheerful, Demyx had studied carefully how discouraged and unsatisfied with his life Zexion had been prior to making initial contact with him over ninety years ago. Demyx was so dedicated to his Charge that he had conditioned himself to counteract any negative feelings Zexion might have about himself and his life by doing the simplest things in order to make him smile.

In the beginning, it had been difficult. Zexion was unresponsive, reclusive, anti-social, and on occasion, prone to suicidal tendencies. He never interacted with people unless he had to and forced himself into the dark recesses of wherever he was to close his nose in a book. That just wasn't cutting it for Demyx and the Carrier had spent the better part of eight years pulling him away from his self destructive lifestyle and showing him just how nice life could be with a little effort. At twenty-nine, Zexion crossed the threshold with Demyx and became his Charge, barely two years before he was predicted to kill himself. His own self-inflicted downfall.

Now-a-days though, Zexion was very different. Well, maybe not as different as Demyx would've liked, but he was satisfied enough. At the very least, the Charge didn't spurt degrading statements about himself and actually talked on occasion. He was still relatively shy around groups of people regardless of familiarity, and usually only spoke when he had something intelligent to add or to offer someone his help, but it was the way he was when he was around Demyx that made everything else forgivable.

Underneath such a timid public personality was a Zexion only Demyx could see. It was evident in Zexion's teenage years where it all stemmed from but ever since he crossed over into the new world, Demyx had been nudging that side of him profusely. At first, it had annoyed Zexion to no end and it created a small rift between them for several years. Demyx didn't let that discourage him though and persisted, eventually crashing through Zexion's defenses and showing him it was okay to be a little bold. A little daring. Possibly even a little reckless. It was what made life exciting, after all, and Zexion grew to love that side of himself again so long as Demyx was there with him every step of the way. The Carrier happily obliged.

Demyx knew what Zexion liked and what he didn't like. What he didn't like and what he was too shy to do were two different things of course, and the Charge tended to let his Carrier have his way simply to avoid conflict and possibly embarrassing himself. Whenever Demyx would try to coax him into something he was hesitant about, the Carrier would have to pay attention to the subtle signs on whether or not it would break him, or he'd give in and try. It was fragile thing but it was never damaging in the long run as far as their relationship went. They took it in stride.

So the usual scene began to play itself out. Zexion knew what the drugs did to him and he was waiting for Demyx's equivalent. The sandy blonde had taken the pill as soon as they had prepared and taken a few extra precautions. The Catalogue terminal in the tiny room next to Demyx's bathroom was set to dial Leon at the press of a button if there was a serious problem, everything easily breakable was put away, and the door was left unlocked in case Zexion needed to run if Demyx turned violent. They couldn't think of anything else that may pose a problem and so the clothing was removed and it was down the hatch, so to speak.

"How're you feeling?" Zexion asked, pushing his hair out of his eye so he could see his lover fully. It wasn't that hard to do, Demyx was already on top of him. It was the way things usually started for them. Demyx had pushed himself between Zexion's legs and had curled as much of his upper body on top of the Charge's torso as he could, encircling him in strong arms and making a very warm cocoon for him to lay under. Zexion's arms were wrapped loosely around Demyx's neck and he watched the Carrier's face closely for any signs of distress.

"Impatient," Demyx said and grinned. "I'm a little pissed Leon put it in capsules, I would've been feeling it by now if he hadn't."

"I'm sure it was to control the dosage," Zexion assured and ran his fingers through the unruly sandy locks. Demyx's smile dimmed to something less harsh and more affectionate. He gently pulled the hand from his hair and pressed the palm to his lips and left a spattering of light kisses on it and trailing onto Zexion's wrist. The Charge smiled, which made the sandy blonde grin again. Then, Demyx stopped. Zexion's expression fell neutral and he watched.

The sandy blonde stared past his Charge's arm and into the comforter of his bed blankly, holding the wrist loosely in his fingers and feeling the beginning effects of the drug take over. There was a light tingling in his stomach that turned to burning quickly and spread over his skin like wildfire. Zexion pulled his hand free from Demyx's and took his face between his palms to pull his attention back on himself.

"Do you always feel like you're on fire?" Demyx asked carefully. Zexion was a little relieved that he was still lucid but it was the Carrier's eyes that gave him new reason for concern. He nodded a little to answer the question but spoke quickly.

"Your eyes," he said in astonishment.

"What about them?"

"They're changing colors," Zexion continued and watched the normally aquamarine blue slip into a light gray and back to the blue, then a shade of purple shot by before returning to normal again. "It's messing with your Link, Dem. I don't think this is good."

"I feel okay though, just a little warm."

"Well that's how it starts, yeah but this isn't okay. I don't like this," he said worriedly and searched the Carrier's face. Demyx blinked and looked thoughtful. "Here, let me get a mirror and you can see and decide for yourself," the Charge continued and Demyx let him worm away and head for the bathroom. While he was gone, Demyx took a minute to focus on what he was feeling. He was able to move around easily enough and sat up, watching the bathroom door for Zexion's return. He couldn't feel his eyes changing, which was normal, and he pulled a piece of hair around to look at. It wasn't doing anything weird that he could tell. His body gave a light shudder and he let out a breath. He could feel the fire spread lower and push him into full arousal, which was okay too, Zexion did that to him anyway. He wasn't bothered.

It had only been a few seconds since Zexion went away from the bed and Demyx was becoming impatient. If he was in a position where he could fidget and tap his foot anxiously, he would have but he settled for only fidgeting. He was starting to crave his Charge. He contemplated running after him and tackling him into the ground but he couldn't get that far before Zexion remerged. The sandy blonde's breath hitched in anticipation and he bounced a little on the mattress causing his steely lover to raise a brow at him.

"You came back!" Demyx squealed happily and smiled.

"…I told you I was. I was gone for twenty seconds," Zexion said curiously. Something wasn't exactly right with his Carrier. His eyes were running wild and spinning through every color imaginable yet the sandy blonde seemed as happy as can be and totally oblivious. He held the little plastic hand mirror out to him and Demyx took it, looked at himself for all of a second then tossed it aside.

"I want you," he said abruptly in a near growl and reached forward and gripped Zexion's hips and pulled him closer. Before the Charge could say anything Demyx wrapped his tongue around his member and was sucking away at the softened skin with fervor.

"D-Dem…" Zexion stammered and gripped the Carrier's hair. He tried to keep a clear mind in order to assess everything accurately but it was proving to be an uphill battle as Demyx forced him into rigidity. Prismatic eyes shifted upwards to take in the panting form towering over him and Demyx's body shuddered at the sight. An overwhelming lust washed over him and he suddenly _needed_ Zexion as a means to sustain himself. His dominance instinct was squashed as the new feeling of desperate desire replaced it. He released Zexion suddenly and pulled at his skin to get him to stoop enough to wrap his arms around his Charge's neck and tug him onto the bed.

"Take me," Demyx ordered and Zexion's eyes widened. He had half crawled half fallen over the sandy blonde and had barely enough time to push himself up before startling at the demand and freezing in place. Demyx was beginning to pant like a bitch in heat, his skin was flushed and his eyes had glassed over, giving Zexion all kinds of mixed signals.

"You me to—"

"Yes! Please!" Demyx pleaded and reached down to pull his Charge closer. Zexion stumbled along until he was allowed to stop, hovering on all fours above him. Demyx pushed himself down the comforter again and up Zexion's thighs until their hips met. The Charge looked at him skeptically like he was playing some sort of horrible prank. It had been such a long time since Demyx had bottomed that it was almost like an inside joke at this point in their relationship. It just didn't happen. After a moment of careful observation, it was clear that the Carrier wasn't kidding and pushed himself against Zexion, uttering a pathetic whimper.

There was hardly anything romantic about what was happening. There was no kissing involved, no playful touches, nothing that suggested that Demyx even enjoyed Zexion's company. Just a blind lust; a need that _had_ to be filled. It had racked the Carrier's body to a point that it had reduced him into a sniveling pile of submissive goo for Zexion to play with to his heart's content. He wondered if Demyx could think through all his need and whether or not he would even remember their activities in the morning. He himself could always remember afterward when he would take the drug. It heightened every nerve ending on him and gave him a similar heavy need but it was never considered out of the ordinary before simply because…that's just the way they did things. Either the drug had adverse effects on Carriers, or that was its purpose; to create submissive behaviors in the first place.

Zexion blinked a few times to clear his confused mind. Demyx whimpered again before rubbing his hands over his own torso a bit, just to feel some contact on his skin. His world was crashing down because Zexion appeared to him like he was denying him, and that meant his Charge hated him. His heart was being crushed the longer Zexion hesitated and tears started to well up in his eyes as he waited for confirmation of the inevitable. Zexion's refusal. The Charge snapped back into reality at hearing a loud sniffle and he gaped at Demyx just as the first few tears streamed out of his eyes.

"Dem! Are you okay?" he asked quickly, dropping onto the sandy blonde and scooting up his body until he could hold his face in his hands. Demyx clung to him helplessly and sobbed. "What hurts? Where?" Zexion pleaded worriedly.

"You hate me!" Demyx cried and Zexion startled.

"Wha—no I don't! Why do you say that?"

"You won't take me. I'm disgusting…" the Carrier sniffled. Zexion stroked his cheek.

"Who says? I was just a little surprised, that's all. I can give that to you, just let me get my bearings, okay?" he asked gently. Demyx's shifting watery eyes stared at him, showing so much vulnerability and openness in the usually confident face that it sent a lump into Zexion's throat. He tried to swallow it down a few times and took a breath.

"Please…" Demyx squeaked and another tear slipped free. Zexion wiped it away with his thumb and tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it was forced and wavering. He didn't like how things were turning out. Sure, being on top would nice every now and again but not like this. Not while Demyx was looking like he was being raped and then begging for more. He couldn't stand to see his Carrier cry though and Demyx really did want it.

"Okay," Zexion said and Demyx's face brightened considerably, making the Charge wonder if he was going through some drug induced bipolar disorder. He didn't allow himself any hesitation to ponder things though and planted a trail of kisses down his Carrier's face before assaulting his neck with his lips, pulling at the skin and sucking gently. Demyx responded with a moan that was far more than necessary with the minimal amount of stimulation. Zexion understood that part though; he felt the same whenever he was under the drug's influence. The barest pull of the skin was enough to send ripples of pleasure through the body and make the party involved respond accordingly.

He worked quickly so as to avoid more tears and pecked a line down Demyx's torso until he was positioned between his legs again. He couldn't take much time to enjoy the view of his lover prostrated before him because the sandy blonde whimpered again with his anxiousness. Zexion did allow himself a second to smile at the scar on the Carrier's scrotum though, something only he was allowed to see. He ran his thumb over it, making Demyx's thighs twitch and eliciting another pant. The Carrier was losing his patience and reached down to where Zexion's hand was and pulled it gently upward and pressed his palm against his needy appendage. The contact shot waves of heat through him and he moaned loudly in response. The Charge grabbed him and gave him a few firm pumps, taking a little enjoyment at how easily Demyx writhed beneath him in ecstasy.

"Please! Now!" Demyx cried and bucked against him. Zexion furrowed his brows a little, becoming displeased with lack of intimacy but could understand how the sandy blonde was feeling. He didn't trust himself to find the lube quickly enough so he stuck a finger in his mouth before he began to massage Demyx's entrance. "Don't!" he yelped abruptly and Zexion froze.

"I thought that's what you wanted," he sputtered confusedly.

"Don't stretch. I want it to hurt," Demyx said sheepishly and Zexion's eyes widened.

"Wh—"

"Please…" the Carrier whimpered. "Please don't refuse me."

"Dem…" Zexion sighed.

He didn't like this at all.

* * *

Roxas cleared his throat a little as he quickly made his way past Demyx's bedroom on his way to the lab. The noises he and Zexion made together were sometimes humorous, but most of the time it simply reminded the blonde how much he needed to get laid. There was something different in their tones this time around though but he didn't dwell, it was loud enough already, he didn't need to make it worse for himself by sticking around and trying to figure out why. He had managed to get the tiger spit of out his hair though and was feeling pretty fresh. He was surprised to see Yuffie in his lab though; she was talking to Axel and carrying an oblong disk that was almost as long as her legs.

"Yuffie?" he asked curiously and she turned to him and gave him a weak smile.

"Hey Roxas, how's things?" she asked back.

"Fine, um… what's that?" he asked and pointed to the disk. She looked at it and held it out to him. He took it and was surprised by how light it was. It was a light gray and had several fans on the underside. There was a large decal on the top of some bear-like creature with a large red ball coming from it's head on the end of an antenna. The disk was only a half inch thick but a few feet in length with a panel that slid open containing several buttons. It reminded him of skateboard deck more than anything else.

"That's my Aero," she said. "She's a beauty isn't she?"

"I suppose, I've never seen one before," Roxas said and held the disk at arms length, looking at it more.

"I've been trying to get Ansem to get one for you ever since you expressed your dislike of being carried everywhere," Axel said. "But then he slaps the whole 'no favors until babies' thing in my face and I can't argue," he added with a huff.

"I seem to remember you mentioning this a while ago. Vaguely, though. So this is something you ride on?" the blonde asked and handed it back to Yuffie. She grinned and nodded.

"Mine's out of batteries though, I didn't charge it enough last night. It's supposed to collapse down to a smaller size for storage but it needs power to do it," she said with a nervous laugh. "So I'm stuck carrying it. Kind of useless, really. I was going to ask Demyx if he could run me home when I'm done here but I can't find him."

"He and Zexion are busy," Roxas said flatly. She frowned. Axel chuckled.

"Well let's hope they become available before the morning," the redhead said. "Saïx is coming for the monthly inspection instead of Ansem."

"Yeah… I've been trying to get everyone informed so they can clean up the stuff Ansem doesn't care about, because Saïx will," Yuffie confirmed. Roxas blinked.

"Saïx? Is that a problem?" the blonde asked.

"I don't think he is, but a lot of the other Carriers do. I like fucking with him, it's funny," Axel said. Yuffie whacked him in the arm.

"You shouldn't antagonize, it makes him angry and then he takes it out on the birds," she said. Roxas raised a brow. "You know how sensitive they are," she added.

"Birds?" the blonde questioned.

"Saïx has jurisdiction over the avians and the rodents. So if he gets angry here because he can't get anyone to cooperate, he takes it home with him," Yuffie said.

"I'll be gentle," Axel said and smiled. "Really it's his own fault. He such a dick to everyone he deserves a little of his own medicine."

"I just remember Demyx saying something about cattle prods in reference to the guy and I already don't like it," Roxas said. Axel cleared his throat a little before giving a few good coughs. The blonde sighed. Yuffie didn't get the connection.

"Well, I need to spread the word. Sora and Riku are helping but I doubt they've made it over to the female building by now so I'll see you guys later," she said and gave them both a smile before heading out. The pair called out their goodbyes as she left. Axel and Roxas exchanged a look.

"Still coughing?" the blonde asked.

"Sort of. Not nearly as much as I used to but it's still annoying. At this point I'm wondering if my body is just used to doing it rather than actually needed to, you know? I've been trying to push it away and sometimes it leaves, sometimes it doesn't. Yuffie dropped off some more herbs to use though," the redhead said and leaned over to his desk and picked up a tiny baggie and shook it before tossing it back down. Roxas nodded.

"What's her deal anyway? She seems really involved," he asked.

"She used to be someone's Charge about…" Axel looked contemplative "eighteen years ago?" he questioned himself. He thought about it more then nodded. "Yeah it was about eighteen years ago."

"Really?" the blonde asked in disbelief. He hadn't thought about what Charges did if their Carriers happened to die or something.

"Yeah. One of Tifa's Carriers, Josiah, was poached back then. Yuffie was his Charge at the time. She was really good at what she did though and took everything very seriously. They had been together for a little over thirty years before he died and she was cut loose."

"So she just left?"

"Well she couldn't stay here. She wasn't compatible with anyone else but Ansem let her stay in the dome so long as she proved useful. She's almost like a liaison for us now. She's our little connection to the humans and Technicians."

"Technicians?"

"Yes, Ansem had petitioned her to become one once Josiah died and she went through several years of training before she decided to refuse and stay here with us. She has some friends amongst them still and can get some information when it's pertinent. Which is why she knows Saïx is coming instead of Ansem."

"So the Carrier Tifa has in her lab, the one in the gestational tank…"

"Is Josiah's replacement. They tried to get as close as they could to Josiah's DNA for this new one without cloning him to see if Yuffie would be compatible with him too but we won't know until he's matured. If she is, she can be his Charge if they decide that's what they want."

"That'd be convenient," Roxas remarked. Axel nodded.

"It's rare for a Charge to live after their Carrier dies somehow. They usually die with them because they're always together, or they commit suicide afterward."

"Oh. So is this something that's been attempted before?"

"Not amongst us in this dome. But maybe some place else. I have no idea."

"That'd be nice for them if they can make it work."

"I agree. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out shortly after he matures though. They have all of Yuffie's information already so it's not like they have to hunt her down again or anything. If it works, great. If not, she can stay where she is. She seems happy enough."

"I couldn't imagine spending so long with someone and then just up and losing them so suddenly. I have a hard time imagining how Leon and Cloud's kids feel."

"Ask Riku, he can tell you. I can imagine it sucks."

"Yeah," the blonde said. The prospect of spending a lifetime with someone and having it end in an instant sent a bit of a chill down his spine. He furrowed his brows a little and looked contemplative.

"Hey," the redhead said and Roxas looked up to him. "Why so sad?" he asked.

"Hm? Oh, no, I was just thinking," he said quickly and tried to change the subject. "So do you think everything will be okay tomorrow?"

"I don't see why it wouldn't be. We've been keeping reports and everything so we'll just have to wait and see. Are you worried?"

"I usually sleep through the inspections so I don't know what to expect."

"True. This'd be your first. I'll have to wake you up. Ansem doesn't care if the Charges are there for it but Saïx does. Get to bed early tonight, we're going to be up bright and early."

"How early is 'bright and early'?" Roxas asked warily.

"'Bright' as in it'll probably still be dark outside. So, really fucking early," Axel said and grinned. "I'm up by then anyway so it doesn't bother me."

"Damn it," the blonde huffed. Axel laughed and stepped towards him. He reached out and ruffled the flaxen locks which made Roxas mope more. The redhead slid his hand down the blonde's face and pulled his chin up so he could look into the pouty blue eyes. He smiled.

"That face is almost as good as your angry face," he said and Roxas blushed a little. Axel's smile widened and he bent just enough to plant a chase kiss on the blonde's lips. Roxas leaned into it with the intention of more but the redhead wigged a finger in between them pushed him back lightly with his fingertip. The blonde blinked. Axel stood straight and furrowed his brows together and held up the index finger of his other hand as if to say 'one moment please,' before clearing his throat a bit. Roxas relaxed back and sighed, pulling the finger off of his mouth. The redhead made an apologetic face before coughing a few times. "Sorry, I tried to stop it," he said.

"You don't have to pull away so much, you know," the blonde said sternly, his annoyance for the constant teasing reaching its limit.

"I'd rather not hack in your face."

"I meant afterwards. You're allowed to come back," he added and stood on his tip toes to wrap his arms around Axel's neck and pull him back. "I don't mind," he said quietly before pressing them together again. The redhead's heart did a flip and he slid his hands around Roxas' midsection to hold him tight. Almost immediately though, his throat protested with the overuse and he pulled back enough to clear it. Roxas got the hint and pulled away for Axel to turn his face to the side and cough a little and then shoved it back into place and reconnected with him. Roxas was first in taking things a baby step forward and parted his lips and teased Axel's bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. He slid his hands from behind the redhead's neck and kept them flat against his chest and let Axel support him as he leaned against him. The redhead gladly held steady and met the blonde halfway with his own, slightly rough tongue. Once they touched, Roxas shuddered and Axel didn't know what to think. Roxas pulled away, cheeks flushed and Axel raised a brow.

"No good?" the redhead asked quietly. The blonde looked a little nervous and chewed his lip.

"It's not that, I'm just not used to it yet…sorry," he said sheepishly.

"Which part? The tongue part or the guy part?"

"…Maybe a little of both."

"Oh. Well we don't have to go any further," Axel said, trying his best not to sound completely dejected and sexually frustrated. Roxas took a moment to think. Then he remembered he told himself not to think and he shook his head some to clear any thoughts away.

"No. I don't want to stop," he said and the redhead blinked a few times, a little shocked. "Just…take it easy on me, okay?" he asked nervously and Axel raised a brow. It took a few seconds to sink in but he smiled a little and pressed his forehead against the blonde's and rubbed their noses together a few times.

"I wouldn't think of doing it any other way," he said quietly and leaned forward for another kiss. Roxas' nervousness was evident in the hesitancy he showed when he tried to respond to the motion and Axel slid a hand up to stroke his cheek gently and get him to calm down some. The blonde's heartbeat was chaotic and pounding against his chest cavity so hard he was sure Axel could feel it. Axel could, and he hesitated. He pulled away, leaving the blonde flustered and breathless but kept his face close so Roxas would know he had no intentions of stopping. "Are you really that nervous?" he asked. Large blue eyes blinked rapidly several times and the blonde nodded.

"Y-yeah," he said.

"Can I ask why? So I can help?" the redhead asked curiously and ran his hand over Roxas' cheek and up through his hair.

"Um…I'm not really sure."

"Not sure I can help? Or do you not know why?"

"Not sure you can help," the blonde said, his cheeks darkening.

"Oh. Well what is it?"

"I-I don't even know how to say it," Roxas sputtered and buried his face in his hands, which were still against Axel's chest and settled for pushing all the way through them and squashed himself into the redhead's shirt. He couldn't say what his problem was while looking into those glittering yellow-green eyes. It was too much. He let himself fall and stand flat footed, making himself a few inches shorter again and hugged Axel around the waist, keeping his burning face hidden. The redhead was confused but held the blonde close, hoping for an answer eventually. He coughed a few times but held steady.

"Did you want to go somewhere less public?" Axel asked carefully. Roxas blinked and realized they were still standing in the middle of their lab. He nodded some and Axel rubbed his back a few times reassuringly. "My place or your place?" he chuckled.

"Mine's closer," the blonde said and pulled away, taking the redhead's hand gently and leading him towards the doors.

"In that case, let's go to mine," Axel said and Roxas stopped and looked at him confusedly. "It'll give you an extra minute to catch your breath. I know, I'm just that stunning," the redhead said slyly and winked. The blonde took a moment to let the comment sink in and he snorted.

"Okay, your place it is," he said with a light laugh.

* * *

Zexion was exhausted. If the way Demyx was acting was anything like the way he acted while under the influence, then Demyx had to have some sort of magical powers that let him keep up. At the rate the sandy blonde was going, he'd tear through an entire harem of Charges in a night if he could. Obviously, it was all because of the drug and Zexion was trying his hardest to not blame Demyx personally but it was becoming difficult with each passing plea and whimper to continue. The Carrier's eyes hadn't stopped shifting, giving the Charge the indication that the chemicals were still running their course. So long as they flickered through the prism, he'd stay submissive and yet ever so demanding.

"Demyx…" Zexion trailed tiredly and tried to think of a way to take a minute to regain his composure. The Carrier looked up at him with wide and susceptible eyes. "We're really disgusting, did you want to take a shower?" he asked. They were absolutely covered in the fruits of their labor. Zexion wondered how many millions of Credits in Demyx's sperm they had just wasted on the bed sheets. Ansem would flip his lid if he knew. Demyx blinked a few times as he contemplated the proposition. He nodded.

"Sure," he said happily and smiled wide, making Zexion's heart melt a little. He still seemed so energetic even after so much exertion. It stung a bit to think that it was all drug induced and the Charge felt a bit regretful for agreeing to the proposition. He hadn't even considered these results; he thought that Demyx would be the same as he always was so long as everything was working properly. Lusting and needing? Definitely. Violence? Maybe. Rage? Maybe. But complete and utter submission with an over reactive demanding spirit for everything sexual? Hell no.

Zexion shakily pulled himself off the bed and Demyx scooted along obediently, following after him like a lost kitten as they entered the bathroom. The Charge slapped on the shower and Demyx draped himself over his back, causing him to grab the edge of the sink for stability. Zexion tried to keep himself steady but his legs were on fire and they shook under the added weight.

"Dem, you can't do that right now," he said and the Carrier squeaked and backed off immediately, much to his relief. But the feeling was short lived.

"I'm sorry!" he exclaimed and rushed in front of his Charge, looking like he was apologizing for a mass murder consisting of nuns and school children. "I'm so sorry, Zex. Please don't push me away," he pleaded and Zexion sighed sadly, wishing he would come off of his haze already. After this little escapade he doubted he would ever use the drug on himself again. Though, he couldn't remember being this insistent.

"I'm not, I'm not," he assured and ran a hand over his Carrier's cheek. Demyx leaned against the touch and nodded some, looking worried still. Zexion reached around the other and tested the water, making sure it was comfortable enough and nudged Demyx backwards. They stepped into the spray together and the sandy blonde stooped the few inches in their height difference to snuggle himself under Zexion's chin. The Charge draped half responsive arms over his back and was thankful for the moments' reprieve. Some of his tension leaked away under the warmth and he finally found something he could enjoy out of all this. Not that he didn't enjoy everything the first few times around. But by this point, all the activity and hazy romping about on the bed was a chore rather than a pleasure.

Demyx nuzzled Zexion's neck and ran his tongue over the skin, drinking the water off of him. The Charge startled a little, letting his eyes slip closed in exasperation.

Of course. They weren't done yet.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Leon asked, peering down at his semiconscious Charge. Cloud blinked a few times at him with glassy and unregistering eyes. Leon smiled. "That's what I thought," he said and shoved himself over the unmoving body and headed for the bathroom to get cleaned up. Cloud blinked a few more times; his eyes shifting to the ceiling and watching the tiny purple dots float around in his peripheral vision. He cursed his Carrier mentally for not having the couth to cover him on his way past. The saliva on his neck and the ejaculate on his stomach were starting to cool and he shivered. He blearily looked around for a moment before getting an idea.

"Fucking smug bastard…" he grumbled to himself tiredly before reaching above his head and grabbing onto the fabric found there. He chuckled evilly as he wiped himself clean with Leon's pillow.

* * *

The door clicked shut quietly, but to Roxas' overheating and nervous ears, it sounded like a cacophony of cannons and gunfire. He flinched, and Axel furrowed his brows in concern. The redhead tried not to touch him (though he desperately wanted to) and calmly made his way to the bed and sat down with his back against the wall. Roxas fidgeted in place for a moment before following after him and Axel held open an arm for him. The blonde climbed in and settled under the limb with his face resting on the redhead's chest. At least in that angle, he wouldn't have to see Axel's face and he could concentrate on his words more.

"I don't want to scare you, but I want to know what the problem is," the redhead said quietly and laid his cheek against Roxas' hair. The blonde took a moment and listened to the Carrier's heartbeat, realizing it was drumming just as fast as his was. It was a comforting thought. Axel was nervous to, though he was much better at hiding it. Roxas had never felt so unsure in his life. He didn't deny that he wanted it, but the pain and possible embarrassment had always been a constant factor and it was all coming to a head for him. He had to say something. He just couldn't think of the words.

"Um…" Roxas hesitated.

"Hm?"

"I should've checked."

"…Checked what?"

"Your…model number," the blonde said, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked off to the side, avoiding any possible eye contact. His face ignited again as he felt all the blood rush to his face. Axel blinked. He blinked, and blinked some more. Then he blinked again and followed it by a light cough. It was a cough of realization that tried to mask his tiny snort. He smiled, though the blonde didn't see. He took a moment to let Roxas regain his composure and to force the grin from his face. He cleared his throat a bit and rubbed the blonde's back. Eventually, Roxas looked up at him with shy and reserved eyes. Axel gave him a kind smile.

"You can check now if you want," he offered and succeeded in returning the color to Roxas' cheeks. "Here, come up here," Axel urged and nudged the blonde by the elbow into his lap. Roxas draped one leg over his thighs and straddled him, making sure he wasn't too close and crushing anything vital. Axel took his hands and rubbed the tops with his thumbs gently before placing the palms of either of his cheeks.

"Umm…" the blonde stammered confusedly. The redhead shushed him and reclined down a little, getting comfortable and folding his hands on his stomach. He smiled.

"Go ahead and start from the beginning. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Roxas was having a hard time concentrating. The assault of his own mind working against him was suffocating even if the clothes were still on and his hands were in neutral territory. It was beginning to be too much. By this point, every part of Axel made him think of sex and how needy he was, but his fear of the unknown territory he was preparing to traverse was weighing against him. The redhead didn't push him. He waited patiently and settled for whatever Roxas was willing to give him, rather than dwelling on the ideas of what _could_ be. He wasn't as fearful of rejection anymore. The blonde had very clearly stated he wanted this, and the doubt had been lifted for Axel. Now, all he had to do was wait for it.

Axel knew his anatomy. One doesn't live for nearly ninety years without knowing it well and he knew the rumors about his size were a little exaggerated but let them persist because, well, why should he dispel them? They were compliments. He wasn't grossly over proportioned like Roxas probably thought he was and he was sure that when the blonde worked up the courage to get that far, he would be relieved and let things progress a little easier. They just had to get to that point. He was the biggest simply because he was proportioned to himself and if anyone else had paid attention, they'd have noticed he was also the biggest in stature, and not some sort of random monstrosity. But what did anyone else know, really? Axel had never let anyone see him aroused before; they had no legitimate evidence.

"So um…" Roxas started, trying to think through his nerves and strike up a conversation. Axel raised a brow in response and the blonde ran his thumbs over his cheeks. "Why the tattoos? Can I even call them that?" he asked and felt the dark marks carefully.

"I call them that, I have no other term for them. They're there because I felt like it, really. There's a whole bunch of them I could've chosen and some of the other Carriers have them elsewhere. I'm not the only one. I only decided to wear them about twenty-five years ago though. It's just something different."

"Oh. I guess that's convenient. If you get bored of your face, why not just switch it up, right?"

"Exactly," Axel smiled. Roxas gave him a weak smile in return and swallowed thickly before sliding his thumbs downward and rememorizing the strong lines of Axel's face.

"Well, don't change it too often, I'm not bored of it yet," the blonde said, making the redhead's smile spread into a grin. Roxas didn't let himself get too comfortable with the familiar territory of Axel's face and forced his hands down more. His fingertips trailed over the redhead's neck and the speeding pulse was a nice reminder of how they both felt. The blonde grabbed onto that secure feeling and tried to hold steady and not let himself get carried away in fright. Axel tried not to shiver when the blonde's hands pressed against his chest. He attempted to keep his mind steady like it had been all the other times Roxas had touched him but the difference in dynamic was making it difficult.

Roxas froze when he reached Axel's stomach. Everything up until this point had been familiar. Anything lower and before the thighs, was new and he was scared. The redhead took it upon himself to help things along and took one of the blonde's arms and pulled him up and to the side so they could keep eye contact. He forced Roxas' face to his and planted a light kiss on his nose in reassurance. The blonde's other hand stayed in its place and Axel started to pull the fabric of his shirt out from under it until he could feel the skin against his.

"Okay?" he asked. Roxas blinked a few times, but nodded shakily. Axel smiled. He kept one hand on the blonde's face, holding his attention by running a thumb over his cheek and feeling his hair. The cerulean eyes were locked with his and he tried to come off as completely relaxed for Roxas' sake even if he was trembling inside with anticipation. He used his open hand to coax the blonde's lower and once they reached the tops of his shorts, he stopped and let Roxas adjust. By this point, the Charge was shaking like a leaf. Axel couldn't deny that it just about the most adorable thing in the world but he wished it didn't have to be like that for the blonde. It really didn't _have_ to be in the first place, but it was and until Roxas could clear whatever inner obstacle he had, it was just the way things would have to stay.

Axel pushed forward a little and kissed his Charge gently in an effort to distract him as he undid his shorts. Roxas surprised him by kissing back, if a bit timidly. The redhead kept it civil. He didn't try to attack the blonde with feverish attempts of wresting Roxas' tongue out of his mouth (like he wanted to) and let the blonde do what he was comfortable with. The distraction was just enough and Axel pushed his fingers lower with little resistance. Suddenly, Roxas could feel a mass of wiry hair under his fingers and he startled a bit. He was about to look away and see where his hand was, just to confirm he was doing what he thought he was doing, but Axel's palms kept his face cemented in place.

"Still okay?" the redhead asked after he pulled away from the blonde's lips. Roxas chewed on his bottom lip a little and searched the chartreuse orbs.

"Y-yeah," he stammered quietly and Axel gave him another smile, which helped, but just barely.

"You're going to have to take my word for it when I say it's not as scary as you think it is."

"Says you," Roxas retorted.

"Right, says me. If you don't believe me, you have to check for yourself," Axel said and released his face so the blonde had the freedom to move around again. Roxas pulled back some and looked down at his hand. The view was a lot more seductive than he thought it was going to be. Axel's shirt had been shoved halfway up his torso exposing his firm midriff and the button and zipper of his shorts were completely open. The blonde had never realized that the redhead didn't wear any underwear. He blushed some and wiggled his fingers in the red hair, causing Axel's stomach to flex under the new feeling. Roxas' heart sped up and he chewed on his lip again and looked back to the redhead's face. Axel's cheeks were a little pink too.

"So um…" the blonde trailed.

"You say that a lot," Axel said. "You don't have to fill the silence."

"I…yeah. I know. I'm just…"

"Nervous?"

"Scared."

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"Not purposefully…" Roxas said hesitantly.

"Well you haven't even seen me yet to be sure."

"…I know," the blonde deadpanned and looked at his hand again. He pulled it away and sighed, sitting back and folding his hands in his lap and looking utterly crushed. "I don't know what my problem is," he said. "I'm sorry, I-I'm…I have no idea," he continued sadly and held his face in his hands, heaving a breath. Axel chewed on the inside of his cheek and tried not to get angry. He fastened his shorts back into place and shoved his shirt down. He sat up and folded his legs, running tired hands through his hair with a sigh.

"Are you even serious about this?" the redhead asked and looked at his Charge from under furrowed and frustrated brows.

"What do you mean? Serious about which part?" the blonde asked, pulling his face from his palms.

"About me. I get that you're okay with your role as my Charge but you're really confusing the shit out of me with this back and forth with everything else. Some days you seem okay and then you pull this crap on me and I don't know what to think. I need you to make a decision on whether or not you really want this because my patience is wearing out."

"I do, I've just never been with a guy before," the blonde blurted quickly, he continued on at a nearly frantic pace, his nervousness and fear reaching its peak, "and I've never been the one taking anything like that. Like with girls I'm in control and I'm the one making everything happen and they don't intimidate me and they're not something I can compare myself to and feel self conscious about and I just… I don't know what to think. I'm sorry. I really really am," he said in a desperate tone. "Please don't think it's you personally. It's not, it's me," he admitted dejectedly and looked down at his hands. He sighed. "I…"

"Stop," Axel ordered and Roxas blinked, looking up.

"Wh—"

"I said stop," he repeated sternly. "I see what the issue is."

"You do?" the blonde questioned confusedly. Axel nodded.

"I do."

"Um..."

"I thought I told you to stop," the redhead said and Roxas raised a brow. Axel shifted around and onto all fours. He put a hand on the blonde's chest and pushed him until he got the hint and sat back properly. Axel shoved some more and Roxas hesitantly reclined until he was steadied on his elbows. The blonde's heart sped up and he swallowed thickly, unsure about the sudden change in atmosphere.

"A-Axel…w-what are you doing?" he stammered but the redhead ignored him and crawled over him until they were face to face. There was a glint in Axel's eyes that didn't sit right with Roxas and the color rushed to his face as he tried to figure out what the redhead was going for. He didn't have much time to think about it though because the Carrier leaned down and crushed their mouths together hungrily. The redhead's hand came up and held his face as he pried the blonde's lips apart with his tongue and took control. Once Roxas responded with his own muscle like he wanted, the hand left and quickly dove under the blonde's shirt. Roxas breath hitched instantly as soon as the redhead's palm met with his skin and his eyes flew wide.

Axel didn't give him a second to think and he left Roxas' lips to bury his face into the soft flesh of his neck. It was clear to the Carrier that the only way he was going to get anything was if he took it. His previous sensitivity to the situation had left him and he let his instincts take over. He knew what to do in order to make Roxas his and he berated himself a little for squashing his desires before and letting the timid little Charge have too much breathing room. He should have paid attention to the signs before and hopefully, by the time he was finished, the blonde would understand.

Roxas' fear had renewed itself en force. He was suddenly very aware of the situation and that Axel, a guy with _fangs_ , was pulling at the skin just over his pulse. He tried to worm away but the redhead's hand on his chest pushed him down into the comforter, easily keeping him in place. Axel nipped and licked and sucked at the blonde's skin and left faint marks all the way down his neck. His hand slid up and pulled the fabric of the shirt with it and the redhead bypassed all possibilities of intimacy with the blonde's chest and went straight for line of hair in between his navel and the tops of his pants. Roxas gasped and tried to struggle away.

"Axel!" he yelled and the redhead purred into his stomach, tracing a line over the hair and skin with his tongue in response to the cry. Realization slowly sunk in to Roxas' frantic psyche. Axel was going to _rape_ him. The redhead dropped himself on the blonde's abdomen and wrapped his arms around his hips, keeping him in place. "Axel! Please! Don't!" he cried again and tried to pull his legs up and kick.

"Relax," the redhead ordered calmly. "I told you I'm not going to hurt you."

"No! Please don't!"

"I said stop!" Axel yelled and Roxas startled at the burst of echoing sound, freezing in place though his panting chest refused to stay still. The redhead glared up at him for a brief second before his face softened. "Just relax," he said gently. "I'm not hurting you."

"You're scaring m—"

"Stop."

"Bu—"

"Roxas," Axel said sternly and the blonde quieted. "Trust me." The Charge was baffled. The redhead was scaring the hell out him and he wanted _trust_? Roxas opened his mouth to say something but the Carrier turned whatever statement it was into a gasp as he licked his stomach again. Despite his best efforts, the blonde couldn't ignore the tingling he felt pool under his navel at the feeling. His fearful pants persisted as Axel pulled a hand around to his front and rubbed on his thigh firmly. The redhead's lips pulled at his skin and he sucked at the flesh, leaving his mark. The hand persisted up the blonde's leg and Roxas reached down and buried his hands in the crimson follicles to push him away. Axel ignored the shoves and grabbed onto the button of Roxas' pants, undoing it quickly.

"Please—"

"Relax," came the firm response. Axel tugged at the blonde's zipper and pulled away from his stomach to pay attention to what he was doing properly. Once everything was open, he resituated himself. He settled against Roxas' thigh and lay flat on his stomach comfortably in between his legs. Roxas blinked. He was preparing to be disrobed and then quickly impaled but Axel wasn't in the position to take him anymore. His heart didn't calm, nor did his nerves, but he was beginning to doubt the redhead's suspected devious intentions. He pushed himself up onto his elbows again and watched, waiting for some sort of sick twist.

"Wh—"

"Relax," Axel repeated. "I said I'm not going to hurt you and I meant it." The redhead didn't make any eye contact and ran a hand over the front of the blonde's pants a bit before snaking his fingers inside and through Roxas' boxers. The blonde gasped again and grit his teeth, his stomach tensing and he furrowed his brows worriedly. He attempted to bring a leg up again in an effort to get some traction and push away but Axel pulled his hand out of his pants, pushed it down again easily, and returned to his task. Warm fingers wrapped around Roxas' semi-hard member, eliciting a soft squeak of protest from him. Color rushed to his face again as he was brought from his clothing into the open air. "I should have listened to myself from the beginning and pushed you more. I shouldn't have let you wallow in your fear and nervousness and for that, I apologize," Axel said and gave him a light squeeze, making the blonde's thighs twitch.

"Axe—" Roxas tried to say but he was silenced into another squeak by a soft stroke. He swallowed thickly and felt himself react to the touch, his erection swelling.

"I should have paid attention to your needs first instead letting you take care of them yourself. I knew you were afraid of this and yet I let it persist and plague you like some kind of inner demon. I should have helped you sooner but I was too busy worrying about my own doubts and apparent shortcomings. I shouldn't have ignored my instincts. After all, we're supposed to be compatible, right?" Axel confirmed and cast a glassy gaze up to the blonde's face. Roxas' cheeks were flushed and his chest heaved excessively still, but he was listening. The redhead stroked him a few more times and the blonde's lips parted in a light pant. Axel smiled. "Let me make it up to you and show you how much I want this. How much I don't want you to fear me, and how serious I am," he said.

Before Roxas could respond, Axel wrapped his tongue around his erection and enveloped him in his mouth. The blonde gasped and his heart leapt to his throat, cutting the breath off into another squeak. The Carrier's textured tongue sent ripples of tingling sensations up the blonde's spine. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. Regardless of how Axel handled him, so long as that tongue was against his throbbing skin, he would receive another undulation of pleasure. He couldn't even pay attention to whether or not the redhead's movements were awkward or virgin in nature. His eyes slipped closed and he let his head fall back with a soft groan. Axel released him for a second and licked a line up his entire length, eliciting a strong twitch from the blonde's thighs.

"Beautiful," he breathed into the flesh and pushed himself up some for a better vantage point before taking him again. He sucked gently, teasing the sensitive head with his tongue before moving down, pulling as much of Roxas' length into himself as he could. The blonde emitted a light grunt and his hips pushed upwards in reflex, surprising the redhead a little. Axel backed off some and slipped a hand under his Charge's rump and lifted upwards, encouraging more control on his part if he so desired. Roxas' attention was brought back by the movement and he watched Axel's lips slide over him, leaving a glove of saliva in their wake. He pushed himself up to support himself on his palms and reached a hand down to comb his fingers through Axel's hair.

After the initial shock of the Carrier's tongue against such a private area of his anatomy had subsided some, Roxas deemed that Axel was in fact, a virgin. The redhead's movements, though pleasurable enough in their own right, were a little too awkward. The blonde's inhibitions about Axel being male weren't quite as debilitating in the gender neutral territory of oral sex and he found he could concentrate a bit more if he focused on the sensations versus the gender of the giver. Roxas pulled Axel's face away from his loins enough his shift a bit to the side and get a better angle before letting the redhead go again. Axel happily obliged, taking great pleasure in the blonde's willingness to respond and lend a hand to his inexperience. Neither of them had to say anything to one another as a mutual rhythm was set in place and the only noises to be heard were Roxas' pants and light moans coupled with the redhead's wet sucking.

"Fuck…" the blonde gasped and he grit his teeth, feeling himself growing close to release. Axel hummed his approval of the idea and Roxas shuddered at the vibrations that were sent through his skin. The redhead released him suddenly and the blonde groaned his displeasure. Axel pushed himself up again and the reason for his sudden departure became evident as he started to cough. His hand never left Roxas' weeping arousal though and he used his excessive saliva to pump him while he regained his composure. The blonde gripped the comforter with the suddenly new and speedy friction of Axel's hand on him. He grit his teeth as the pleasure racked his body until he couldn't take it anymore and he reached down and stopped the redhead's wrist and he climaxed, sending a spurt of white onto his stomach. The redhead waited until the twitching against his fingers ceased before he let go and let the blonde relax. Roxas let out a shuddering breath.

"Sorry," Axel apologized and cleared his throat a little. "That wasn't because of anything you did, that was my throat hating me," he added. Roxas blinked a bit to clear his foggy mind. The redhead pushed himself up and scooted across the bed before making his way into his bathroom. The blonde tried to understand what just happened and found he didn't really care, he was just happy that it had. He closed his eyes and let out another breath and let himself flop back onto the comforter. A towel was dropped onto his pelvis and he startled, eyes flying open to a view of Axel's face smiling down at him.

"Hi," Roxas said and immediately felt like an enormous loser for doing so.

"Hi," the redhead said and chuckled. "Feeling okay?"

"Yeah…" the blonde trailed and felt the heat rise to his cheeks again. "Um…"

"Hmm?"

"Sorry."

"What for?" Axel asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"Before, and for being terrible."

"Don't worry about it. I get it."

"Okay," Roxas said quietly. Axel stood straight again and walked around the bed. The blonde hastily wiped himself clean and stuffed himself back into his pants. The redhead stripped off his shirt and shoved himself under the covers. The Charge blinked as his Carrier snuggled up to his pillows and hugged one to his face. "Wait, are you going to sleep?" he asked.

"It's bedtime, yes. You're welcome to join me."

"Well what about you and…your needs and stuff," the blonde asked hesitantly. Axel quirked a brow at him.

"What about them?"

"I feel like an ass getting all the attention, don't you want something back?"

"If you have something to give me, I'm not going to deny you but I don't want to scare you away, either. Don't feel obligated."

"I feel bad," the blonde insisted and furrowed his brows. He dropped the towel off the side of the bed and pulled off his shirt. He tugged at the covers and slipped in next to Axel. The redhead welcomed him and held and arm up for him to curl up under. He hugged the blonde close and kissed his hair.

"You don't have to, I'm not offended."

"I know but…"

"Roxas."

"Yeah?"

"It's okay. Really. If you're feeling a little braver later, then you can come back to me but for now, its fine. I'm sorry I scared you," he added, hoping to steer the conversation away from Roxas' distress.

"Just let me know what you're doing next time," the blonde said and Axel smiled and rubbed his back, feeling reassured that there would be a 'next time.'

* * *

If there was anything Saïx hated more than defiance, it was tardiness. Apparently, Ansem preferred to have a loose hold on his Carriers because several of them were refusing to show up for their inspections. The nerve of that doddering old fool to push his own irresponsibility onto Saïx's shoulders made the man angrier and angrier by the second. Saïx hated to travel. He hated to travel long distances even more. He disliked cats and venturing over six hours just to make sure they were still alive when he could really care less about them, made it even worse. He jabbed his stylus into his tablet and scrolled through the list of feline Carrier model numbers, scanning the combinations until he fell upon one of the ones that was missing. Number 7x295.

"7x295!" he barked and he listened to the echo shudder down the deserted hallway. He readjusted his lab coat idly as he waited. Another Carrier emerged from his own lab a few doors down in response, but it wasn't the one he needed. He glowered down the hallway at the male as he approached.

"Is Demyx not in?" the Carrier asked.

"Model number," Saïx demanded. The male raised a brow at him, looking less than intimidated.

"It's not 7x295, that's for sure," he said flippantly.

"Model number," the man repeated.

"My name is Leon, it's nice to see you too, jackass. You don't remember me?"

"Get me 7x295," Saïx spat with a glare. "I'll be back in three minutes and I expect him to be present otherwise I will find him myself."

"Ooo. I'm terrified. Truly," the Carrier taunted. He breezed past and made his way down the hall. Saïx watched him leave; taking note of which direction he was headed before moving to the next lab which was a short distance away. He glared at the number plate on the door and scrolled through his list, checking to see if there were any surprises for him with _this_ worthless animal.

"6x2u!" he called and there was a brief wait before the Carrier emerged. "Where is your Charge?"

"Dead. I ate him," Riku said coolly and smirked. Saïx glared at him.

"You think that's humorous do you?"

"Of course I do. Why would I eat him?"

"Because you're a savage. Where is he?"

"Sleeping."

"Get him here."

"Does he _really_ need to be?"

"Yes," Saïx barked, his patience thinning. Riku looked him over before shaking his head and bypassing him and heading towards Sora's room. Saïx muttered angrily and decided he needed to find 7x295 himself since 'Leon' was proving useless. He tromped down the hall and rounded the corner, keeping an ear out for any voices that would lead him in the right direction. The only ones he could hear were quite a distance away and he went after them, finding a foot sticking out of an open door several yards away. As he approached, 'Leon' remerged from the room and pulled the door shut.

"Oh, hello again," Leon said. "Has it been three minutes already?"

"7x295 is in there, yes?" Saïx confirmed and reached for the door. Leon put a hand over his on the knob.

"How unromantic," the Carrier cooed. "Would you really disturb a lover's embrace like that?"

"Lovers? There are no lovers for you creatures," the man snapped and shoved Leon's hand away. Before he could reach the door again, Leon put a hand on his chest and pushed him back and inch.

"I don't think so. You're not going in there," the Carrier said flatly.

"Oh, I beg to differ," Saïx sneered and dug a hand into his lab coat's pocket and produced a small black box. Leon had barely a second to react before the metal barbs of the man's taser met with his chest and his body convulsed with the sting. Immediately Leon crumpled to the floor, his hair and eye color flickering weakly under the shock until it all faded away and he was left colorless. He coughed harshly and held his chest. "Report back to your laboratory immediately," Saïx ordered and pushed Demyx's door open and stepped inside. He wrinkled his nose at the appalling sight therein.

Zexion hugged a very naked Demyx to his chest protectively as they sat together on the floor. The Carrier was trying to paw at his Charge lustfully with little success. Zexion kept shoving his hands away and trying to hold him still, and keep his face averted from the Technician. Saïx's eyes narrowed at the pair.

"Dem, stop," Zexion urged quietly into the Carrier's ear and Demyx whimpered.

"7x295," Saïx said sternly but the Charge wouldn't let Demyx look at him. "Charge, let go of your Carrier," he ordered but Zexion hugged the sandy blonde firmly and glared at the man. "Now!" he yelled. Demyx flinched at the sound and clung to Zexion. Saïx didn't hesitate any further and grabbed onto the Carrier's arm and yanked him harshly. Demyx squealed and pulled his face from Zexion's hands and locked eyes with Saïx. The Technician did a double take at the Carrier's eyes as they shifted through every color imaginable. Demyx blinked a few times and smiled.

"Will you have me?" the sandy blonde asked hopefully and Zexion gaped at him.

"What?" Saïx asked, raising a brow.

"Please!" Demyx begged and tried to crawl out of Zexion's lap towards the man. The Charge held steady and was pulled across the carpet by his lover's hips.

"Demyx!" he called and the Carrier hesitated. "Demyx," he said again and the sandy blonde looked behind him. "What are you doing?" Zexion asked worriedly.

"But Zex, you said you were done with me. I _need_ it," the Carrier said sadly. Saïx glared at them both.

"What is this ridiculousness?" he demanded.

"It's—" Zexion started.

"It's my fault," Leon interjected abruptly, pulling Saïx's angry eyes away from the pair. The colorless Carrier held the doorframe with a shaky arm. "Just leave them be. I did this," he insisted.

"And what exactly, did you do?" Saïx asked in annoyance. Leon laughed, sounding a little breathless.

"Something my Charge would absolutely love. That's what," he said and smiled. He held an index finger up to his lips and shushed the man, "but it's a secret. Don't tell Cloud."

"What are you talking about?" the Technician demanded. Leon waved a hand dismissively.

"Don't worry about it," he assured. There was a light mewl of protest as Demyx started to paw at Zexion again, and the Charge was trying to restrain him.

"Are you having a problem, Charge?" Saïx asked coldly and eyed the pair. Zexion was either ignoring him, or hadn't heard him, either way, he didn't respond and it only made the man angrier. "7x295! Restrain yourself!" he ordered and Demyx froze. He tried to look back to Saïx again but Zexion grabbed his face and crushed their mouths together to distract him. "Ugh!" Saïx groaned, repulsed. Leon stepped in and put a hand on his shoulder, prompting a glare his way.

"See what I mean? It's love!" the Carrier cried happily.

"You beasts disgust me," Saïx spat and shoved Leon's hand away and stomped toward the door. "7x295 and Charge, you've obviously failed your inspection. Expect someone else from the Committee in two days time. You," he pointed at Leon. "With me," he ordered and stomped out into the hall. The colorless Carrier looked at the pair on the floor then back at the impatient man and sighed a little before following Saïx out of the room.

* * *

"It's still fucking dark outside, why are we awake?" Roxas grumped and laid his face on the metal exam table in his and Axel's lab. The redhead laughed.

"I told you this already," he said. "You can go back to sleep once Saïx is gone."

"We've been waiting forever."

"We've been waiting for an hour."

"Which is forever when you're twenty and not supposed to be awake at five in the morning."

"Whine whine whine…" Axel said and stuck out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout. Roxas glared at him, which made him grin.

"4x31!" called an angry voice from out in the hall and they both startled. Axel stood and took Roxas' hand and pulled him from the table and through the doors. A man with shocking blue hair and golden eyes was glaring at them before they could do anything wrong. The white lab coat and tablet in his hand gave his title away easily. He was the Technician, Saïx. Roxas looked up at him and furrowed his brows at the enormous criss-crossed scar that stuck out between his eyes and dripped over his face in four directions. "Good. Finally someone in this horrendous place that knows how to do something properly," the man said coldly and looked them both over.

"Saïx! Good buddy! How have you been?" Axel chirped happily with a giddy wave. The man's face never lost its angry glare.

"Fine," he spat. "Is there anything I should be aware of before we begin?"

"Aside from my undying love for your beautiful face? Why of course not! How's Xemnas?" Axel asked. Saïx narrowed his eyes at the redhead. Roxas was confused.

"Xemnas is fine. You're not hopped up on drugs like the others are, are you?" the man asked.

"Drugs?" Axel asked, his faux happiness giving way to show his genuine curiosity. "Who's on drugs?" Roxas raised a brow as well.

"If you don't know, don't bother yourself with it. On to business," the man deflected and pushed past them and through the lab doors. Axel and Roxas exchanged confused looks.

"Don't look at me, I have no idea," the blonde said and shrugged. Axel furrowed his brows but pushed his suspicions aside and nudged his Charge through the door. Saïx was standing at the Extractor and poking away at his tablet.

"My statistics are telling me your sperm counts are low, 4x31. Do you mind telling me why?" the Technician asked.

"Uh…" Axel trailed, trying to think.

"Are you copulating with your Charge?" the man persisted. Roxas startled and his cheeks flushed.

"What? No!" the blonde blurted defensively, feeling accused. Axel looked at him, the hurt evident in his face, but Roxas didn't see. Saïx's stylus froze and he looked to Axel, a crease forming on his brow.

"Then who else are you sleeping with, 4x31?" he asked, his voice turning icy.

"No one," Axel said and held up his hand. "Honest." Roxas immediately understood what he had just done. Axel's frequent masturbation issues had lowered his sperm count, making it seem like Axel was 'wasting' his expensive bodily fluids on someone else.

"Then why are they so low?" Saïx asked.

"Why do you need to know? Can't a guy jerk off a little without being accused of being a whore? What, do you need more water cooler talk for the Committee compound?" Axel spat and folded his arms, giving the man a glare. "I bet if I counted your sperm, I'd find them a little low too. What with Xemnas in your ass all the time."

"Excuse me?" the man growled, his immediate rage obvious.

"Oh! Xemnas!" Axel panted like a horny schoolgirl and shoved his hand up his shirt and rubbed his chest. Roxas gaped at him. The redhead's other hand snaked downward and he squeezed his genitals in Saïx's direction. "Yes! More!" Axel squealed.

"Axel…" Roxas trailed, giving him a wary glance as he watched Saïx's face turn several shades of red with his anger.

"4x31," the man stated, his voice seething. "If you continue, I will fail your inspection."

"On what grounds? I didn't fuck your ass myself? Are you a little backed up?" Axel cooed and circled a nipple with his index finger at him. "Poor little jackass is all frustrated."

"Axel stop," Roxas said, though he was having a hard time hiding his smile.

"Whatever, if you had half a brain you'd realize that my frequency of sample deposits have increased as much as my sperm count has lowered, dipshit," the redhead said, giving Saïx a glare. The Technician looked at his tablet again. He then glared at it like it had punched his grandmother.

"Fine," the man spat. "It'd do you well to restrain yourself in your… ministrations. You wouldn't have to weed through so many samples for appropriate material and your productivity might increase."

"Baby making is a tough process, cupcake. Can't rush excellence," Axel said smugly and smiled. "No worries on your end though, every precious drop my beautiful milkiness is holed up in that thing," he continued and pointed to the large metal cylinder that held the sample canisters. "I know you just want to dive in and drink it all but I must say that it'd be an expensive endeavor. Ansem wouldn't be pleased."

"You're disgusting," Saïx spat. Roxas had to agree, the redhead was getting a little carried away. Imagining the Technician wallowing in a vat of semen wasn't exactly helping the blonde get hungry for breakfast.

"So you say, Saïx. So you say," Axel teased. He giggled stupidly and held a hand to his face, using the other to bat at the air playfully. "Oh you," he twittered. Saïx glowered at the Carrier for a moment before turning and stomping off to inspect the rest of the equipment. Roxas sighed and shook his head.

"Axel…" he trailed and the redhead looked to him, his forced smile fading quickly.

"Don't sound so disappointed. You don't _have_ to 'copulate' with me, you know. If I had known you were just going to revert back to the way you were before, I wouldn't have bothered with you last night," Axel said. Roxas blinked, trying to register what he was talking about. His eyes widened when he realized.

"Oh shit. I'm sorry, I… I didn't mean that. I…"

"Forget it, Roxas. We'll talk later," the Carrier said grumpily and folded his arms over his chest.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

"I can't believe that bastard tased you," Cloud said with furrowed brows as he smeared on a glob of salve across Leon's burn. The Carrier's chest twitched and he winced.

"Yeah, well it would have been worse for Demyx had I let him barge in like he wanted to," Leon hissed.

"Still. He could have really fucked you up with that."

"I'm just thankful he didn't bring the cattle prod."

"True. Anyway, how are they? Demyx tripping still?"

"You should've seen him. He was blown out of his mind," Leon laughed a little. Cloud wiped his fingers off on a towel and screwed the cap back on the ointment before handing the Carrier his shirt back. Leon pulled it over his head and tried to keep the fabric from sticking to his chest. "Still opposed to using it?" he asked.

"Yes," the Charge responded flatly.

"Even without knowing the results of the test?" Leon questioned further, with a raised brow.

"Why? Are they astounding or something?"

"Oh I thought it was funny as hell but if you're really against it, I'll let it die. I'm satisfied."

"Just put it to rest. I'm done with this," Cloud sighed.

"Alright," Leon said and gave him a sly smile.

They had passed their inspection. Leon was set to be punished for wasting time and resources though but Saïx didn't have the authority to dish out the sentence. Ansem would be back before the week was over and then the hammer would come down on the Carrier. Cloud was hoping they would be lenient but he wasn't expecting much. He almost felt that Leon should get whatever he deserved for being so selfish, but he also didn't want him to get hurt, which was a very possible scenario. The Charge also felt that Demyx should be punished right along with Leon; it was his stupid idea in the first place. Then again, he was willing to wait and see if the sandy blonde could even walk once he came down off of his buzz. If he was exhausted and could hardly move, then Cloud could settle for that.

* * *

"Have you been copulating with your Charge?" Saïx asked grumpily, having repeated the disgusting question dozens of times already that day. He didn't have as much of an issue asking the heterosexual pairs why their cell counts were low, just the homosexuals. Regardless, the thought of anyone sleeping with a Carrier, to him, was an abomination and it made his skin crawl.

"Why of course, look at him. Isn't he scrumptious?" Riku taunted him and patted a very sleepy Sora's back. The brunette leaned on him and yawned. Saïx narrowed his eyes at them. 6x2u, Riku, had taken forever to wake up his Charge and get back to his lab for the inspection. They were one of the last stops for the Technician before he headed across the way to the female building and he was itching to leave. His rage and patience were at their limit and he was only halfway done, which made it just so much worse.

"Fine," he spat and stomped away from the Extractor to get on with the work. The Technician didn't like their actions, but it wasn't illegal. Riku looked to Sora and the Charge blearily blinked up at him in return. The Carrier smirked and ran his fingers through the brown spikes and Sora's eyes slipped closed again and he laid his temple against Riku's shoulder. Riku wrapped an arm around his shoulders and lead him over to a chair. He sat and held his arms open. The brunette didn't argue and clamored into his lap and straddled him, tucking himself under Riku's chin and enjoying his warmth. The Carrier wrapped him in a firm embrace around his waist and laid a cheek in his hair. Sora closed his eyes again and was able to take a light snooze.

Riku had never intended to let Sora be such a comfort to him. He had distanced himself from his Charges so much in the past after his first died and had grown to almost not trust them fully. He didn't trust that they wouldn't leave him in some way. Sora was different though. He was absolutely terrible as far as the science part of his role went and proved himself to be completely useless in that department. What he lacked in extended intelligence, he made up in people skills and compassion though. He wasn't completely stupid, and Riku felt confident enough that Sora could take care of him in an emergency, but he lacked the critical thinking skills required to be an active participant in Carrier making, which was okay. It wasn't an ideal situation as far as productivity went, but it was still very doable.

All of Riku's previous Charges had been very intelligent and insisted that they not only loved him, but that would always been there for him. They, obviously, had lied. They weren't there anymore. Sora was. The brunette's bright personality and quirky way of doing things was sometimes a little tedious to be around but Riku could feel his honesty when Sora said he wouldn't leave. He was there to stay, and it meant worlds to the Carrier. Sora's constant companionship was what made him useful to Riku, though nobody else believed him. Riku could handle the work, the science, but he couldn't handle losing another Charge. Sora was his security guard against that.

For as doofy and weird Sora could be, he was taking his role seriously. He couldn't understand why Riku was okay with him not participating in the lab very much, but he did understand how important it was to be there for him. For any reason. Physical, emotional, internal, external, he had to be there. It didn't matter. He followed his Carrier in almost a blind faith when he was propositioned to cross over from Radiant Garden. Riku had promised him a purpose. A place to belong where he didn't have to worry about rejection from the people he held dear. Sora had wanted that more than anything; to be his own person instead of 'Roxas' little brother' or, 'that kid that follows Kairi around.'

In the beginning, he couldn't tell if Riku was lying or not, but he decided to do what Roxas was hesitant to and push onward. He was determined to blaze his own path unlike his brother who was willing to be led and taught down a path already traveled. Now, Sora didn't hate his brother. Quite the contrary, he loved him to pieces. But Roxas' lack of imaginative ability and his standoffish stance on all things new and different ruffled the brunette's proverbial feathers something fierce. Roxas had prepared to be in school until his thirties, and followed a field that he felt would bring him the most success. Sora originally tried to stay away from school once he graduated in order to find himself, but his parents and everyone else around him had already decided that he would go and so he was pushed into it.

That's what he was trying to get away from. The suffocating way people treated him like he was an added accessory to life rather than his own person. It was never a malicious thing against him when people would make him do things their way, but he still felt stifled all the same. He was too kind to argue every time his parents would tell him they were doing things 'for his own good' or 'for the right reasons.' He was okay with his parents wanting the best for him; he just wanted to do it his own way. Riku never forced him in to do anything. Sora felt accepted when he was around the snowy Carrier. He never had to put on any sort of fake happiness and spurt a series of 'yes sir's' or 'yes madam's' around him. It was a wonderful feeling of personal freedom and he repaid Riku's generosity and acceptance with as much as he could give him, whatever that happened to be.

For Riku, Sora had already done more than enough in terms of his emotional stability to repay any kindness he may have given the brunette before. Now, he simply wanted to be around the quirkly little Charge as often as he could just to bask in his upbeat and open personality. Living a life of loss and little freedom had starved the Carrier of the love that he craved. He was beginning to fill that void in himself with as much of the brunette as he could. He only hoped Sora could feel the same way someday.

"Are you quite finished?" Saïx interjected into Riku and Sora's peaceful cuddle. The brunette groggily pulled his eyes open but didn't move. Riku looked at the man with a glare.

"No, we're not. Why? Were you looking for a snuggle, too?" the Carrier said snidely.

"I wouldn't touch you even if you paid me," the man shot back.

"He doesn't have to pay me and I touch him all the time," Sora said and slipped his hands under Riku's shirt and started to feel around. Saïx raised a brow in a light sneer at the remark and the brunette snorted before burying his face in Riku's neck. "Jerk," he grumbled. Riku rubbed his back.

"Yeah, he's like that," the Carrier agreed, ignoring the fact that the man in question was less than two feet away.

"You don't have to like me to obey me. I'm finished here," Saïx said and stomped away. Sora sat upright and rubbed his eyes.

"Why did I have to be here, again?" he asked and Riku shrugged.

"I hardly have to be here, but I am to answer any questions. I think Saïx likes the control. I'm not really sure what his problem is. He's always been like that though, for as long as I can remember."

"Yuck. I like Ansem."

"I like him too. He's much more lenient. Not perfect, but much better."

"Yeah," the brunette said and yawned again. Riku smiled.

"Back to bed?" he questioned and Sora nodded.

"Please."

* * *

Roxas was at a loss for words. He could hardly remember his adamant denial of Saïx's accusation and yet he knew he had said it. It was such a natural thing for him to adamantly deny anything homosexual when it pertained to himself; it hadn't even registered until Axel said something. But there he was, trying his hardest to put words to his claim and make it up to the redhead somehow, who was obviously very hurt by his claim. It wasn't so much that Axel was offended by _what_ Roxas had said but the _way_ he had said it. It was true; they hadn't technically 'copulated' or anything like that so at least the blonde wasn't lying. His tone and his sudden denial of anything having to do with that sort of thing was what hurt the most. He had sounded like he was completely disgusted by the idea; with Axel.

"At least we passed," the blonde said and tried to give the redhead a lopsided smile. Saïx had already moved on to more important things once he was finished making sure everything was where it should be.

"We did," Axel said gruffly. "I would still like an explanation though." He folded his arms over his chest and waited.

"Right, I know. I'm just not sure how to say it," Roxas said sheepishly.

"I have time."

"Well…" the blonde trailed and itched the back of his neck. He was awful at giving accurate descriptions of things he didn't fully understand. "I guess after so many years of denying everything gay about myself, it had just become sort of a reflex. I didn't really mean it, but when he asked so randomly I sort of flipped. I'm sorry."

"Are you really?" Axel questioned with a raised brow. Roxas nodded.

"Yeah. I don't know what else to say."

"…Fine," the redhead huffed. "I'm not completely over it, but I can't ask for much else. I am insanely curious about who was on drugs though."

"Yeah that was a little random."

"I have an idea of who it is," Axel said and narrowed his eyes into slits at no one in particular.

"Who?" Roxas asked. He had never heard of anyone using drugs at the facility outside of what Axel had told him about a few pain reliever derivatives.

"Zexion."

"What? Really?" the blonde asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, but they're not drugs like you think they are. He's not out back shooting heroin or anything like that. They're…enhancements I guess you could call them. Uh…for lovemaking? I guess?" Axel said hesitantly. Roxas raised a brow.

"Is Zexion like miniscule or something that he needs that? I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at…" he trailed. Axel laughed.

"No no, nothing like that. They're sex drugs, Roxas. Demyx gives them to him and apparently they make everything better like tenfold."

"Uh, okay. Just because? Or is Demyx a really terrible lay?"

"I have no idea. Apparently Zexion likes it. They don't work with Carriers though so it's all for Zexion's benefit. You'll have to ask him why if you're really that curious. I never got the impression that Demyx is really unsatisfying without them though. I've never slept with him to know."

"Eh… I think I'll pass. It's bad enough that I'm aware of when they're going at it. I don't need details."

"Yeah you'd think with how loud they are, they wouldn't need them."

"Right."

"I'm pretty sure that if Zexion was still whacked out that they would've failed the inspection. I'm not sure Yuffie found them and told them it was Saïx this time around and not Ansem. If it had been Ansem, he wouldn't have found out because hardly any of the Charges attend the inspections anyway and Demyx could've made up for it."

"That's a good point, I hadn't thought about that."

"Yeah, let's go find them. I really want to know."

"I was kind of hoping for breakfast, myself. Like I said, I don't need details."

"Well go on ahead. I'll catch up. I just want to make sure they didn't kill each other," the redhead said and made his way towards the door. Roxas grabbed his arm before he could pass though and he stopped. The blonde hugged him abruptly and Axel grunted against the sudden force.

"I really am sorry," Roxas said quietly. Axel smiled and patted his hair.

* * *

Axel wasn't expecting to find Leon and Cloud at Demyx's door already. The pair were quietly talking heatedly amongst themselves but the redhead couldn't make out what they were saying over the echo of the hallway. Cloud looked a little _too_ maniacal this morning and Leon had his usual aloof face. They stopped talking abruptly when they noticed Axel approaching.

"So, is Zexion tanked or what?" the redhead asked. Cloud laughed.

"Oh no. It's Demyx this time," he said and Leon's eyes widened some and he whacked his Charge on the arm.

"Demyx? How did that happen?" Axel asked confusedly. That wasn't right.

"Leon made a little something for him that we're going to go home and try in a few minutes," the taller blonde said with a sly grin.

"You told me you didn't want to, even without knowing the results. No way are you going back on your word now," Leon barked.

"Wait…what?" the redhead asked confusedly. Cloud opened his mouth to say something but the other Carrier shoved his hands over the orifice. They had a short struggle where Cloud would pull the hands away and Leon would shove them back.

"Stop, damn it!" Cloud spat and punched Leon in the chest. The Carrier yelped and held his burn.

"You're a dick," the Carrier spat and Axel raised a brow.

"You guys are confusing the shit out of me. What's up with Demyx?"

"Leon's fancy new drug turned him into Zexion's bitch," the taller blonde laughed. Leon glared at him and rubbed his chest.

"…New drug?" Axel questioned further. Leon sighed.

"I took their normal stuff and condensed it down to a Carrier dose."

"Why would you do that? And why did it turn Demyx into Zexion's bitch?" Axel gaped.

"They were testing it for me. It was Demyx's idea to give it to you eventually," Leon said. Cloud laughed.

"Could you imagine? Axel rolling over for whoever would take him? Oh my god!" the blonde cried and held his sides. The redhead's jaw dropped.

"Demyx was going to drug me? For what?" he asked, horrified.

"Apparently he felt you needed a push," Leon said and shrugged. "I was in it for the science and possibly using it on myself but I never expected _this_. Believe me, if I had known what it was going to do, I would've never done it. Apparently Demyx's dominance instinct is _gone_. It's messing with his Link and everything. We're just waiting it out."

"How long has he been flipping shits?" the redhead asked, his mind a flurry of activity as he attempted to comprehend.

"Zexion said it's been almost twelve hours."

"Oh god, Leon. We _have_ to," Cloud said once he regained his composure. He wrapped an arm around his lover's shoulders and leaned on him. Leon shoved him away.

"No," the Carrier spat.

"Fuck you; I make your breakfast in the morning. Start cooking for yourself if you don't want anything slipped."

"You wouldn't…" Leon gaped and looked at the blonde with wide eyes.

"But I want it to be my birthday every day," Cloud said innocently. Axel couldn't even find their exchange humorous. He was getting angry. Then he felt worried, then angry again. There was so much to think about, he couldn't decide what to feel.

"So they've been going at it for twelve hours? How is Zexion even alive?" the redhead asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"He's a trooper," Cloud said and grinned. "We can beat him though, we just need a stopwatch," he added and nudged Leon. The Carrier glared at him

"We don't even know if they've actually been doing anything for the full twelve hours of if Demyx has just been tweaked that long. Zexion is beat to hell though, I'm a little worried," Leon said. "He refuses to leave Demyx though so he can't be all that dead."

"True. Everything seems quiet now," Axel said and looked at the bedroom door.

"We tried to check on them but they're in the shower," the other Carrier shrugged.

"Oh. Well let's hope they don't drown. I take it they didn't show up for the inspection and failed?"

"Saïx found them, and he wasn't happy," Leon started. He relayed the entire story to Axel and Cloud started laughing again up until the part where the Carrier had been tased. Then he started up again once it got passed that part. Leon even went on to say how it had all begun and the redhead furrowed his brows in annoyance.

"Well I can't say I feel bad for you for whatever punishment you're going to get. I'm not exactly thrilled about all this, myself," Axel said once Leon had finished. The other Carrier shrugged.

"It was Demyx's idea to give them to you. I would have agreed to it had he not mentioned you and just wanted to try it out for himself. I can't deny I was overly curious about it myself."

"Even still. He tried to get me to drug Roxas and after I refused he pulls this garbage?" the redhead huffed.

"See I didn't know that part. I thought he had just randomly thought it up," Leon said.

"Where did he even get the shit to begin with?" Cloud asked.

"He got it from me, stupid. Don't you remember?" Leon said. The blonde rolled his eyes.

"I meant the original shit, ass."

"You guys have awesome vocabulary skills," Axel chuckled. "Yuffie sells it, along with a bunch of other stuff. It's not illegal so you can just go up to her and ask her for some."

"What, just like that?" Leon asked.

"Basically."

"That's… unsettling."

"A little. I'm not that surprised. She was a chemist, remember? She messes with that stuff just for fun. You could probably make some yourself if you learn your herbs well enough," Axel said. Cloud raised a brow.

"I know Chemistry…" the blonde trailed, looking thoughtful. Leon pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Stop giving him ideas, please," he asked tiredly and the redhead smiled.

"It's your own fault, man."

"Yeah and I regret it."

"Good. I win," Cloud said. "Though, I still think we need to test it ourselves. Science isn't fact until the results can be repeated, you know."

"Stop," Leon ordered and furrowed his brows.

"Oh it'll happen. Don't fret," the blonde said and patted his Carrier's hair.

* * *

It wasn't until the next day that anyone saw Zexion and Demyx. They showed up to lunch hand in hand and seemed totally normal. By that point, everyone in their social group knew what went on between them and all eyes at the table turned to them. Leon and Cloud weren't present though, as the Carrier was up in arms because his blonde counterpart had stolen the rest of the pills and hidden them somewhere. No one had seen Cloud so far that day but Leon was busy tearing their lab apart and trying to find them. Axel looked Demyx over suspiciously as the sandy blonde sat gingerly. Zexion yawned and sat next to his Carrier quietly.

"So…" the redhead started and gave his friend a light glare. "When were you planning on drugging me?" he asked and Roxas inhaled his drink and started to cough.

"Wait what?" the blonde rasped out between hacks.

"Demyx was planning on drugging me," Axel said flatly and crossed his arms. He had told his Charge the general idea of what had happened but didn't go into too many details at his request. Riku and Sora exchanged looks while Demyx slouched in his seat under Axel's acidic gaze.

"I wasn't—" the sandy blonde started.

"Yeah you were. You tried to get me to drug Roxas and you didn't get your way so you turned to me instead. What the fuck, Demyx?"

"What?" Roxas gasped. Sora had the audacity to giggle, but put a hand over his mouth to stop himself with little success. Riku nudged him with a light smirk.

"I was trying to help…" Demyx said quietly. He sighed and lowered his eyes. "It didn't turn out the way I thought it would and so I decided against it."

"Smart move. I don't need your help," Axel growled. Demyx looked up at him through the loose pieces of his hair and sighed again. He slumped to the side until he disappeared under the table, resting his cheek on Zexion's leg. The Charge patted his hair and continued eating. "No opinion, Zexion?" the redhead persisted, turning his angry eyes to the man. Zexion shrugged.

"No harm no foul on my end," he said calmly.

"I'm sorry," Demyx mumbled from under the table.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to forgive you just yet," Axel said. Demyx sighed.

"I didn't actually do anything to you, Axel," the other Carrier said indignantly. "I get than you're mad at me for thinking about it but I didn't act on it. Don't bring Zexion into this either. He didn't do anything wrong."

"I know he didn't but he could've saved you the trouble and simply denied you," Axel huffed.

"Leave him out of this," Demyx said, his own anger rising and he pushed himself upright again. Zexion put a hand on his shoulder but the Carrier pressed on. "You have no right to get angry at him for things he didn't do."

"I can get plenty angry at you, Zexion, and Leon. All of this stemmed from your own pushiness so you're to blame the most, Zexion for doing whatever you say and agreeing to it, and Leon for making the garbage in the first place. You're all fucking selfish. It's my own fucking business how I handle my life."

"Zex isn't selfish!" Demyx yelled and slammed his fist on the table. "You can get angry at me and Leon, but he didn't do anything wrong!"

"Dem…" Zexion said and tried to nudge him to calm down.

"Taking drugs to enhance something that's supposed to be precious and natural to begin with is pretty damn selfish to me in the first place. Rolling over and doing it at the other selfish party's request is just as bad to me," Axel said.

"Take that back," Demyx demanded, his brows creasing together and giving the redhead a vicious sneer. "What we do and how we do it is none of your fucking business."

"Oh but it's your business when it comes to me and mine? Fuck off Demyx. Stop being a hypocrite," Axel spat. Roxas was looking between the supposed friends and wondering when the punches were going to be thrown. Riku was giving the pair a wary face and Zexion seemed just as worried.

"I was trying to help, it didn't work, and I already apologized!" the sandy blonde yelled. Axel slammed his hands on the table and stood abruptly, knocking his chair backwards and towering over Demyx's sitting frame.

"You were planning on drugging me, asshole! From what I heard it wasn't a cakewalk for Zexion to keep you under control! Do you fucking realize what you could have done to me if Leon hadn't insisted on testing it first? Don't you ever consider the consequences? I told you to leave it alone and let me do my own thing even before all this shit! Listen for once in your god damned life and butt the fuck out!" Axel yelled. Sora's hands flew up and plugged his ears at the volume. Everyone around their table flinched, some imitating the brunette's actions. Roxas swallowed thickly and watched the redhead carefully.

"Maybe if you weren't such a fucking pussy about sex you'd have some by now!" Demyx retorted and stood as well, shoving his face into the redhead's. "Take it as a fucking compliment that I would even bother to share one iota of the passion Zexion and I have! If I'm selfish for wanting to help you grow some god damned balls then what does that make you? A coward? You're afraid of yourself! Man the fuck up Axel!"

" _Enough_!" Riku screamed and slammed his fists on the tabletop before shoving himself out of his chair as well. He tromped over to the arguing pair and put a hand on either's chest, shoving them apart. Sora's eyes were wide in shock that the Carrier could even make such a loud noise and Roxas gaped at him in agreement. "Both of you need to get away from each other this instant! You're both being stupid! Demyx, leave Axel's love life alone. Axel, calm the fuck down. He already apologized and you don't have to accept it but don't flip a shit at him for something he's already sorry for!" Riku continued. His icy aqua eyes gave them both a harsh glare in turn.

"Axel…" Roxas said timidly once everything was quiet and the echo dissipated. The redhead continued to glower at Demyx for a moment but eventually he turned his attention to his Charge and the blonde looked up at him with wide and concerned eyes.

"Yeah, Roxas?" Axel asked quietly.

"Um…I'm not really hungry anymore, can we get back to work now?" he asked. Axel took a deep breath and forced his face to relax some before he nodded.

"Yeah. We can," he said and the blonde stood and began to clear their trays. Once they were gone from the cafeteria, Riku turned to Demyx and shoved a finger into his chest.

"Mind your own fucking business," the snowy Carrier growled and Demyx blinked a few times before flexing his jaw some and plopping back into his seat.

* * *

Axel was silent for several hours unless Roxas spoke to him first. Even then the answers to whatever questions the blonde had were answered in short, often single word sentences. The Charge couldn't understand if it was the fact that Demyx had gotten in Axel's face and antagonized him that brought on the silence, or if it was what Demyx said that got to him. Regardless of the reason, the quiet seething rage Axel had seeping out of him was making Roxas uncomfortable and he didn't know what he could to help. He didn't even know if he _should_ help. He himself was angry at Demyx for trying to push things with unreasonable means, but he was able to forgive him easily enough because he was right. Demyx hadn't actually done anything, so why stay angry?

Axel was fed up. Demyx's pushy nature had well…pushed him to his limit. Normally, the sandy blonde never acted on his urgings and though annoying, they tended to dissipate over a day or two and things would return to normal. For some reason though, Demyx had felt it was his personal mission to get Axel laid, even if it meant risking both the redhead's and Roxas' health and their already uneasy relationship. The possibilities of what could have happened between the pair are what he should have considered before he even approached Leon with the idea of changing the drugs around to begin with. The fact that he hadn't considered it is what made Axel the angriest. It told him that Demyx didn't think enough about how he felt and after eighty-six years of friendship, Axel had hoped it would have sunk in by now. Apparently it hadn't, and he hated it. For all of the pros of Demyx's personality, his pushiness was the one con and it got under Axel's skin something fierce.

"Here," the redhead said abruptly, shattering the uneasy silence between him and the blonde. Roxas looked over just in time to see Axel press the blue button on the arm of the microscope on the Extractor, sending a merging sample his way over at the Pre-Gestational Prep Center. Roxas blinked a few times and pressed his eyes into his own microscope as the new sample dish popped into view.

He squinted at the merging globs of cytoplasm. They were smack dab in the middle of the dish, making his job a whole lot easier since he didn't have to search around for it again and thus risking its death. He worked delicately and was able to quickly pick up an awaiting ovum with one mechanical arm and focus on getting the twitching glob into its tiny needle before joining them together. He furrowed his brows together, glaring at the microscope. That was almost too easy this time around.

"Uh, Axel? I think I got one…" the blonde trailed and the redhead perked up immediately.

"Yeah? Send it over and let's check," Axel said and made his way over to the Gestational Terminal. He plopped into the chair just in time for Roxas' sample to make it over and light up the hulking machine's screen. The blonde stood behind the chair and waited, albeit a little impatiently.

"You don't seem very excited," he remarked, looking down at the redhead. Axel shrugged.

"Well it's nice to get to this point but a lot can happen still. I'm not going to get stupidly excited until it's been growing in the tank for at least a week."

"Oh, you have a point."

"Come here," Axel said and leaned back in his seat and patted his lap. Roxas raised a brow at him but moved around to the front on the chair and sat on his knees. The redhead smirked at the modesty but wove his arm around the blonde's waist and pulled him back all the way until Roxas' back was against his chest. The Gestational Terminal blipped and blinked as the computer analyzed the glob of DNA in the sample dish and determined whether or not it was okay to continue. The blonde tried to relax some and leaned back against the redhead. Axel rested his chin on the Charge's shoulder and waited.

"So does this mean you forgive me?" Roxas asked.

"Hm? Oh. Yeah, Demyx distracted me. We're fine," Axel said and kissed the side of the blonde's neck briefly. He wrapped his other arm around his Charge as well and gave him a gentle hug. Roxas patted the limbs and rested his head against the redhead's shoulder. The Gestational Terminal brought up both of their genetic maps, signaling that the sample was okay to continue. Immediately Axel reached forward and his nimble fingers started typing away, tossing out the Y chromosomes and forcing the glob to womanhood.

"Do we get to go shopping for noses now?" the blonde asked. Axel chuckled and grabbed the seat of the chair and scooted a bit closer to the Terminal so Roxas could reach the keys easier.

"You can if you want. I kind of like yours though."

"Only kind of?"

"Well I'd almost insist on mine if we were making a male, yours is a little bit too buttony. I _suppose_ we could find a happy medium somewhere though."

"…Are you telling me I'm feminine?"

"Possibly," the redhead smiled.

"Now wait a minute…"

"Too bad! Your nose it is," Axel blurted with a laugh and started poking at the keyboard again. Roxas huffed and pushed his brows together. Axel grinned. "There's that face again," he said and rubbed his nose against the blonde's ear a few times before kissing the open patch of skin behind it. Roxas pretended to ignore him but he couldn't stop the goosebumps from spreading over his arms.

"You know, with how easy it is to poke around with her face, we could easily fuck this up and get some terrible lumberjack woman out of it. I'd be more careful," the blonde chastised. Axel laughed.

"We'll be fine. I was planning on forcing most of your features on her anyway."

"Why? Because I'm _girly_?" the blonde grumped.

"No, because I like your face. Though it is a bit softer than mine so it'd make a better girl if we had to choose between us, wouldn't you agree?"

"…I don't agree but I don't want to argue."

"Which is Roxas-lingo for 'I can't argue with your logic therefore I'm deflecting the topic' which is also a roundabout way of saying 'you're right Axel, I would make a pretty girl. Will you buy me a skirt?'"

"Damn it Axel," Roxas huffed and tried to push out of the redhead's lap but Axel held steady. He laughed.

"Oh come on, take the compliment," the Carrier urged and pulled him backwards against him again. The blonde slouched in his lap and turned to dead weight, pursing his lips and looking ornery.

"You didn't have to add the part with the skirt; that was a bit much."

"So you don't want me to get you one?"

"I'm not even going to justify that with an answer."

"Awesome, school girl outfit it is."

"Fuck off, asshole."

"Ooo! Watch where you're throwing those knives. You might hurt me," Axel purred directly into the blonde's ear. Roxas pulled away from him, out of spite, not because he didn't enjoy the redhead's breath against his skin. He was trying desperately to keep his stubbornness in tact but even after just a minute, he was having difficulties. Axel grinned deviously and leaned in again but the blonde pulled away even farther. He tried again, with the same result. On it went until the blonde was leaning as far away as he could with the redhead still holding onto him and Axel had achieved the result he wanted; a fully exposed expanse of neck for him to play with. He buried his face into the skin and kissed a line up the nerves, making the color rush to the blonde's cheeks.

"Cheater," Roxas huffed, which only succeeded in making the redhead chuckle against him and send tantalizing vibrations over his skin.

"Hey, I'm working with what I got here, don't fault me for being resourceful," the Carrier said and gave his Charge a firm yank so he was pulled back to him comfortably again. He continued his assault and nipped at the awaiting flesh, pulling it between his teeth gently. Roxas' heartbeat sped up as the tingling traveled over his skin quickly, forcing his mind to fog over a little in response. He reached a hand up and buried his fingers in Axel's hair, rubbing the back of his neck, urging him to continue. The redhead fawned over him with his lips, teasing him every now and again with the barest graze of his tongue until he couldn't stand it any more and forced himself to stop. He let out a strained and shaky breath into the blonde's neck and rested his forehead on the back of his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Roxas asked, sounding a little breathless. His cheeks were still burning but he was sad to have the attention disappear.

"Sorry…I'm getting a little carried away," the redhead said and gave a breathy chuckle. He squeezed his eyes shut and took another breath. "I don't want to scare you again."

"O-Oh…well…" the blonde trailed. "To be honest, it was so sudden I didn't have much time to get scared."

"…Yeah?"

"Yeah. Um…" he said sheepishly and Axel pulled his face up from its hiding spot. Roxas turned some to look at him. They shared a brief moment of understanding before Axel raised a brow.

"Continue?" he asked.

"Yes please," the blonde said quickly, not allowing himself a moment to hesitate.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

There was such a conflict of interests happening for Axel. On the one hand, he was almost completely (and happily) distracted by a suddenly very willing Roxas. On the other hand, there were the beginnings of another Carrier for his kind lingering inside the Gestational Terminal and just begging to be fiddled with. Not only that, but if he let Roxas cloud his mind completely, the tiny glob could die in there before he could think clearly again. Priorities. He had to prioritize. Really, Roxas couldn't have picked a worse time to be so responsive. He really didn't want to leave the blonde's lips, but at the very least he had to buy them an hour or two. If only he could remember what buttons to push.

"Wait. Waitwaitwait," Axel reluctantly muttered against the blonde's tongue. Roxas pulled away with flushed cheeks and a confused, doe-eyed expression. The combination of the two looks melted the redhead's heart and he fought the urge to smother the blonde into the floor. "Hold on a second," he continued and leaned over his Charge's shoulder and started typing with one hand on the Gestational Terminal's keyboard.

"Oh shit I forgot about that," Roxas said once he realized what was happening.

"Oops," the Carrier chuckled. "We're awesome parents. 'Hang on little booger time to make out! Don't die just yet.'"

"Yeah well…" the blonde said with an embarrassed laugh.

"We're fine though. We probably shouldn't do that when we get one to be like…ten years old in the tank. By that point they wake up every now and again and can actually remember what they see."

"That'd be awkward. Does that mean you have some memories like that?"

"Some, yes. I was made in a compound and surrounded buy a bunch of other tanks with a bunch of other Carrier's floating around in them. I hated it. There was nothing to do but float around and grow."

"I can see where that'd get boring. Stasis was boring as hell once I could wake up."

"And you were only in there for a week."

"Exactly. That's my point."

"Twenty-four years is a long time to be bored. Sometimes I could catch Ansem and the other Technicians doing stuff but it was always just as bland. I spent most of the time asleep though, so those instances were really few and far between."

"Ah, so you don't have any actual evidence that Saïx and Xemnas stuff each other silly?"

"No, I don't," Axel laughed. "It's not that hard of a scenario to imagine though. But then again, they're both so god damned ancient you'd think they'd have erectile dysfunction by now."

"Maybe that's why they're both such assholes."

"Possibly. 'Xemnas can you come over here and hold my dick up so I can jerk off? I'm having problems…' and Xemnas would be all like 'Use the pulley, I'm busy being old!' And then they'd grumble at each other like old men do and give up and get back to work."

"Ugh! Axel! Nasty!" Roxas cried and held his face in his hands but he started to laugh through then. "'Xemnas dear, did you pick up the prunes from the market?'" he said, mocking Axel's imitation of Saïx.

"'Why no, Saïx sweety I didn't. Having a little bit of a clog today?'"

"Ew, Axel."

"You're the one who brought it up."

"Yeah, and I regret it."

"Prunes are disgusting."

"You think most non-meat products are disgusting."

"I like plums, even if they make me sick. Prunes are just terrible in general though."

"I like apricots, myself; in both fruit and dried forms."

"Eh…"

"Yeah yeah. It's not a steak."

"You got that right," Axel smiled. He continued to poke at the keys without making much eye contact with the blonde. Roxas waited patiently. He wondered if he would screw anything up if he was to prod the redhead any. Axel's hand might slip and press something it shouldn't. Although, he had a very nice vantage point and it would be a shame to waste it. He looked at the redhead's concentrating face, then at his neck, his face again, and then the neck again. He kept his eyes on the face and stuck his tongue out, leaning over slowly until he could run the tip over the skin just above the collar of Axel's shirt. Axel froze.

"Problems?" Roxas asked, acting innocent.

"Oh no, I'm good with that. Just give me a minute to finish this."

"What are you doing exactly?" the blonde asked and nuzzled the patch of skin a bit before giving it a soft kiss. He didn't quite understand why he was so comfortable this time around. Maybe it was the unintimate setting, maybe it was because Axel's attention was diverted, or maybe it was because he was ready. He wasn't sure, but he didn't let himself think about it too much lest he jinx it.

"Well I'm _attempting_ to get her to a point where I can put her in a sort of hibernation while we go off and play a little, but you're distracting me," Axel huffed.

"Mothering instinct battling the mating instinct?"

"Something like that, yes."

"Ah. I see. How long will she last in there without hibernation?"

"Maybe an hour if we're lucky? I'd rather not risk it. I'm trying to pick out her physical features enough to where we can stop. There's a point for hibernation in between the mental and the physical identities where we can pause, but we can also go back and change things if we so choose later."

"Oh," the blonde said and laid his head in the crook of Axel's neck.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you're so responsive, but there are other things to handle first."

"I understand. You can be the responsible one," Roxas said.

* * *

Cloud whistled to himself a little as he strode down the street, carrying his bag from the market. The store wasn't that far from his and Leon's house so walking wasn't an issue but he wanted to take his bike in order to get back to the facility. He wondered if his Carrier was still having a panic attack about trying to find the pills. The thought of Leon getting frantic about something like that was far too humorous to Cloud and every time he thought about his obvious hiding place, he smiled. All Leon would have to do is pay attention a little and they would be found. But, today wasn't the day for such a thing. Today was Leon's day, even if the blonde took a great deal of pleasure in teasing the hell out of him. He wondered if the Carrier even remembered what day it was.

It had taken Leon a few decades to actually tell Cloud what day he was considered 'matured' and emerged from his gestational chamber. Since then, the blonde affectionately called it Leon's Tube Day, much to the Carrier's chagrin. The constant reminder of how old Leon was put a damper on the festivities some years but Cloud didn't let his lover's sour behavior deter him. He always thanked Cloud for the attention by the end of the day anyway which made the headache worth it.

Regardless of the constant teasing of the Carrier's age, he really wasn't as old as everyone said he was. He was only about twenty years younger than Riku, making him a very spry one hundred and sixty-two. The fact that he was such a grumpy bastard half the time is what made him old, but Cloud knew better. Leon really wasn't all that bad. They loved each other deeply, even if they were the only ones who could understand. Cloud's watch started to beep at him and he raised a brow at it.

_Change code initiated._

Perfect. Leon would enjoy his present more that way anyway. The Carrier probably needed to change, rather than choosing to. He hadn't loped around in the field with the kids since the poaching and his tired 'old' bones probably ached with the need to be on all fours. Cloud laughed to himself a little, though most everyone would see a condescending smirk. The thought of Leon _needing_ to be on all fours just tickled his fancy. He patted his pockets and found that he had left his earpiece in the house and went to retrieve it. Once he remerged, he fastened his gift in place on the side bag of his motorcycle and made his way to the facility.

Leon was doing what he always did while in his Primal form. Lounging around and looking regal in the grass. He was really a pretty boring guy when it came right down to it. Cloud made his way towards him and the Carrier ignored him until he sat in the grass, earpiece in hand and a bag in the other. Leon hesitated before opening up and allowing the blonde to connect to his Link.

" _Asshole._ "

"Prick."

" _Where did you put them_?"

"Like I'd tell you that," Cloud scoffed. "Happy Birthday by the way."

" _…No Tube Day this year_?"

"I decided against it. Did you even remember?"

" _Nope._ "

"Oh. Well I got you something anyway," the blonde said and stuffed his hands in his bag before producing a large white ball and setting it in between Leon's front paws. It was an ostrich egg. After the first was set down, he pulled out two more and arranged them accordingly.

" _Who did you kill for these_?"

"They have them at the store, stupid. You're not the only one who likes them."

" _Oh, so you didn't leave me here to run off to the avian dome and steal them_?"

"I'm almost insulted that you'd think I'd do such a thing. Did you want them or not? Because I _can_ return them."

" _Oh no. I'm good with this,_ " Leon said matter-of-factly and shoved the first one around with his huge foot before holding it in place and attempting to wrap his jaws around it enough to crack it open. Half the fun of getting an ostrich egg was in the chase. The gooey insides were just an added bonus. After a few attempts, he stopped. " _Wait, you didn't taint these somehow, did you_?"

"Squall, it's a fucking egg. If there was a hole in it for me to slip something into it, you'd be able to see it and they'd be leaking all over. No, I didn't do anything to them," Cloud grumbled and glared at him. Leon didn't say anything else and licked his jowls a few times before getting back to the task at hand. His teeth slid over the thick shell frustratingly before he managed to impale a canine into it with a satisfying _crack_. With a pull and a shake of his massive face, he spat a chunk of the shell to the side and began to lap up the deliciousness.

Cloud smirked and picked the pieces of shell out of the grass and tossed them in the bag. He crossed his ankles and reclined back to watch the wiggly blue sky pass overhead. After Leon had finished with the first egg, he pushed the other two aside and pulled himself across the grass the last few feet to his Charge and laid his face on the blonde's stomach.

"…Did you just put your egg covered chin on my shirt?" Cloud asked without looking at the Carrier. He could feel a wet patch form on his abdomen and he wasn't sure if it was egg remnants or Leon's drool.

" _I may have…_ "

"Fantastic," the blonde huffed sarcastically but combed his fingers through the russet mane to show he didn't really care. He needed new clothes anyway.

" _I would like you to make me an omelet with one of the other ones, later._ "

"I can do that."

" _Good._ "

And so it went. Leon was never very good about asking, or saying his thank you's to Cloud but the blonde understood. Leon had a particular way of doing things and after so many years together, the Charge had picked up on all the subtle signs that reassured him that his efforts weren't ever wasted. They held a mutual trust between one another and they could oftentimes hold entire meaningful conversations without saying a word. Ninety-nine percent of their squabbles were harmless jabbing and poking fun at one another even if the voices used were harsh and yelling. Neither of them got legitimately angry during those instances, and they often resulted in very passionate lovemaking when they were by themselves (or the few times they _thought_ they were alone). To anyone else, their relationship came off as chaotic and ready to fall apart at any moment, but it couldn't be more secure. It was strange, to be sure, but neither of them would have it any other way.

* * *

Demyx was very sore. He didn't blame anyone but himself for it though and simply lay in Zexion's bed, wishing the pain would go away. His Charge was off cleaning up his own bedroom, which was a disaster area, and he wished he hadn't put the man through everything he had. Zexion didn't seem upset by it, but Demyx didn't believe him. They both could have seriously hurt one another, and the longer the sandy blonde wallowed in his guilt and pain, the more obvious it was to him. He pouted to himself and willed himself to sleep, but he had already spent most of the day doing that and couldn't force it anymore.

Tomorrow would be a little scary. He and Zexion had never failed an inspection before and Saïx's promise of someone else from the Committee coming to see them wasn't helping the anxiety. Ansem wasn't home yet, and that could mean that Xemnas would stop by. Then again, it could be someone else. There were a dozen other members in the Committee, but if it was Saïx who initiated things, the more likely it was going to be Xemnas who responded. Demyx swallowed thickly and recalled the last conference, his skin crawling at the sight of Axel's back. That could very well be where Demyx would end up if he didn't tread lightly in the morning, and he could possibly drag Zexion down with him.

* * *

Every time Axel touched him, Roxas was amazed at how incredibly warm he was. It always felt like the redhead had a fever or had just gotten out of a hut tub seconds before contact. It was never an unpleasant feeling though. His hands were never sweaty or sticky making Roxas feel like he was being coated in a layer of Axel germs. They were… nice. Roxas liked Axel's hands. The warmth was an added little detail that could turn the moment from innocent to something more depending on where it was pressed.

Once Axel had finished stabilizing the blob in the Gestational Terminal, his attention immediately returned to his Charge and he didn't let Roxas have a moment to think and become fearful, which is what the blonde needed. It had started gentle enough with the redhead reigniting the tender flame between them with light kisses and mild pets. Roxas responded willingly and soon, between both of their impatience and pent up frustrations, it quickly turned heated and threatened the stability of their seating arrangement. They broke for air, panting at each other with pink cheeks and glassy eyes.

"Bed?" Axel blurted and Roxas nodded quickly and shuffled himself off of the redhead's lap. The redhead led his Charge by the hand out of the lab and down the hall quickly. Sora was heading in the opposite direction and attempted to stop them to say something but they both breezed past, leaving him wide eyed and confused.

"Busy!" Roxas called over his shoulder before they could round the corner and the brunette raised a brow before starting to laugh. The blonde didn't hear though, he was too worried about keeping his footing as he trailed behind his Carrier. Down the hall and to the right, a short distance away from Demyx's room, sat a bed with a soft orange comforter that was waiting to be disrupted. Axel booted his door open and ushered the blonde inside before closing it again.

The dynamic was suddenly very different and Roxas' nerves started to creep in. Axel noticed the tension in his Charge and pushed his eagerness aside in favor of not rushing things too much. The redhead wasn't going to let Roxas escape this time, but he also wasn't out to kill him. He laid a hand on the blonde's shoulder and pulled him back some, and away from the bed he had been so intently staring at. Roxas let himself be pulled and turned around. Axel took his cheeks in his palms gently and pressed their lips together again. Some of the blonde's tension seeped away but there was still a bit of uneasiness, which was manageable.

In the short distance it had taken to get from the lab to Axel's room, the nature of their kisses had changed from hormonal bouts of lustful desire to ones of nervous tenderness. Neither of them had the experience to feel very confident about the situation but it didn't really matter anymore. They'd make it work. Just like everyone else did.

Axel had never taken the time to fully explore the blonde and though Roxas didn't know anything about the redhead's important bits, he still knew the rest of the Carrier pretty well. So Axel took his time and the opportunity to let his hands roam over the blonde's small frame. Roxas stood on his tip toes to keep their lips together and had to wrap his arms around Axel's neck for stability when the redhead's hands crept under his shirt. The redhead was very disappointed in himself for never taking the time to discover such nice skin before. Sure, he knew how it tasted but to feel the lithe muscles twitch under his touch just added a certain spice to the experience he had never noticed before.

Before they could suffocate each other again they broke apart and Axel took the opportunity to tug the blonde's shirt upwards and remove it. Roxas quickly kicked off his shoes as well and surrendered himself to being another inch shorter because of it. He didn't have much time to pout about it though because Axel led him to the edge of the bed and sat, pulling him close again. The redhead hugged him tight and took a brief moment to appreciate the closeness before letting his hands search again. Roxas had halfway expected to be pulled into Axel's room in a flurry of activity and be taken in a heated episode of rampaging hormones. Not that he would've complained, because he wanted it in some shape or form, but the redhead's behavior contradicted itself immensely.

What had started out in a feverish attempt to pull the blonde in and relieve some serious frustrations, had become something more than that. The way Axel touched him, the smoothness of his actions coupled with the occasional light kiss made Roxas feel _wanted_. Treasured. To a certain degree, that's what it was. Axel had chosen him to be his Charge and went through so much in order to obtain him, the feelings were almost surreal. The nervousness was still there, but for different reasons now. Roxas wasn't worried about Axel being a guy anymore. He wasn't worried about seeing him unclothed. He wasn't worried about the possible pain involved. The blonde was worried about being enough; whether he was worth all the work Axel had put in to bring him over and make him his. He didn't know when the feelings had changed; he just knew that they had.

"Roxas?" Axel asked quietly, hugging the blonde around the midsection and looking up at him. The blonde blinked, realizing he had been staring off into space and looked down to him. "Are you alright?" the redhead asked. Roxas smiled and nodded.

"I'm fine," he assured and combed his fingers through the crimson follicles. When did Axel's hair get so soft? Had it always been that way and he had never paid attention? He didn't know. The Carrier was a little confused. Two seconds ago Roxas looked completely lost in his own mind, but he wasn't flipping out now. He seemed… peaceful. Which was fine with Axel, he was relieved for him.

"I'm glad," the redhead said and smiled back for a second before nuzzling the blonde's stomach and hugging him again. Roxas brought a knee up and nudged the redhead around until he could sit in his lap again, straddling him. The bed made a much more stable seat that the metal chair. He was okay with cuddling but he knew neither of them wanted just that. They had, after all, come there for a reason. Regardless of how fuzzy inside he felt, the blonde still had needs to attend to and he knew Axel was just as stifled.

Their lips met again, though who initiated it was hard to tell. Roxas shoved his hands under the Carrier's shirt and fought the urge to grin stupidly when Axel shivered a little under his touch. This was a first for the redhead. To be touched in such a way when he wasn't being poked and prodded in an examination. The Charge's fingers were a little cold to him, but so were everyone else's that had laid their hands on him before. These were the only ones that he actually enjoyed though, and would welcome back again and again. Roxas lifted the beige t-shirt upward and Axel tossed it aside and leaned back, supporting himself on his palms. The blonde took the invitation and left a spattering of light kisses on his chest before moving to a nipple and pulling it between his teeth. Color rushed to the redhead's cheeks at the feeling and he hissed a bit at the tiny twinge of pain.

Roxas could feel the redhead's need through his shorts. He himself was right there with him but was a little unsure of how to continue. Either Axel could read his mind, or he simply had impeccable timing because he shoved himself backwards and onto the bed properly, bringing the blonde with him. The Charge had more ground to cover now and worked his way down Axel's torso feeling the warm skin under his lips. The redhead, though thrilled, was cautious and reclined back onto his elbows and watched the blonde carefully as he drew closer and closer to the tops of his shorts.

Okay so maybe Roxas was still a little nervous about seeing Axel for the first time. It was to be expected, really. Roxas had squelched his other half that was curious about other guys for such a long time it was hard to ignore the feelings regardless of how much he wanted it. He didn't allow himself to think of it as something dirty and to be pushed aside. Axel wasn't just some other guy he was trying to avoid awkward eye contact in the locker room with before gym class. Axel… was Axel. He was different, but in a good way. The blonde tested the waters a bit and ran a hand over the fabric of the redhead's shorts, feeling the hardened length underneath. It wasn't too scary, or so he told himself. It was thicker than he thought it would be, and bigger than his own, but it wasn't some weird deformity that hung to Axel's knees, that much was certain.

The blonde cast a nervous gaze up the line of the Carrier's body and met the glinting chanteuse to be found there. The redhead looked worried, or pleased, or both. Roxas couldn't decide. He did notice that Axel's cheeks were as pink as can be and he took some comfort knowing that at least the redhead had the tenacity to be so damn adorable in his virginity. The Charge smiled a bit, his confidence growing with the knowledge that he was the more experienced one in the pair even if it was with the opposite gender. Axel was nervous. Nervous for Roxas, nervous of rejection, nervous he wouldn't be satisfying enough, nervous for every other reason he could (or couldn't) think of. He was almost tempted to tell the blonde to stop, but by the time he realized he had that inkling, Roxas was pulling his shorts open and obliterating any coherent thought processes.

Having someone touch him in such an intimate place was enough to make Axel's thighs twitch. Having Roxas, his Charge, touch him in such a way made his toes curl right along with the tremors. The blonde didn't waste much time with the pleasantries of the moment and instead opted for the direct approach to avoid any dead time where he could psyche himself out. The redhead didn't mind, he was just happy to be free of his pinching clothing. As soon as he was exposed though he noticed the blonde freeze for a second before sitting up again. Roxas' skin flushed and he stared at Axel's member, thinking.

"You're um…" the blonde trailed.

"…Um? Um what?" the redhead asked. He honestly didn't know what Roxas was going for. He wasn't enormous, and he wasn't teeny tiny so he didn't know if it was his size that was the problem.

"Uncircumcised," the Charge blurted.

"…Should I be?"

"Not really, I just didn't expect it. I feel really…western. Damn," Roxas said and laughed a little, itching the back of his neck sheepishly. He was expecting to simply see a bigger version of himself. This threw him a curveball in a few ways. He had never seen an uncircumcised penis before outside of textbooks; not even in porn. It was…different. Alike, but different. Not that he had an issue with it because really, he had nothing else to go off of anyway so what did it matter? He pushed the thoughts aside. It didn't matter. It was Axel. That's what mattered.

"I honestly don't think any of the Carriers are," Axel said and shrugged. He wasn't offended. He was actually quite comfortable with himself, it was more anticipating Roxas' reaction to him that made the air uneasy. The blonde surprised him though and tentatively reached forward and touched him. Roxas was startled by how warm the skin felt against his fingers. Axel let out a strong shiver. "Your hands are _really_ fucking cold," the redhead rasped, the blonde blinked.

"I'm sorry?" Roxas asked. The Carrier pushed himself up and reached forward and pulled the blonde's wrists. The Charge staggered up Axel's body again and was situated on his stomach. The motion gave the redhead enough room to shift himself around and wiggle out of his shorts completely, and fling them across the room with the flick of his foot. Roxas moved to look behind him and see what all he could see but Axel's hands started to pull open his pants, distracting him.

"You're not allowed to see until your warm up those hands," the redhead huffed and the blonde raised a brow. Axel pulled on Roxas' wrists again, tugging him down to lie over his chest and lock lips with him again. The Carrier's hands slid over the blonde's back and headed southward. Roxas' skin ignited in a flurry of goosebumps as he realized where Axel was going and he buried his cold hands in the red hair in order to warm them and eventually become an active participant. The warmth spread underneath his loosened pants as the Carrier felt his rump, giving it a firm squeeze. Roxas' hips pushed forward, inadvertently grinding against the redhead's stomach and Axel hummed his approval into their kiss.

The blonde pulled away from the redhead, earning an indignant snort from him and shoved down on the extended arms, aiding Axel in pushing his pants from around his hips. Roxas pulled his legs around enough so the redhead could tug the clothing from his thighs and all the way down his legs, before removing it all completely and Axel was able to toss it over his head and off the bed. Fully exposed, the blonde's entire body flushed a light pink but he made no move to cover himself and sat on the redhead's stomach, straddling him, with furrowed brows and glared at the comforter. Axel chuckled at the sour expression and took the open opportunity to run his hands over the blonde's thighs and receive a tiny shiver. Roxas was reminded he didn't have time to feel embarrassed about himself and relaxed the scowl away, reveling in the Carrier's touches.

He lowered himself onto Axel's chest again and resumed right where he had left off, wrapping his tongue around the Carrier's. All things in the world were good for all of two minutes until the redhead's hands started to travel again and Roxas could feel him heading into uncharted territory. In order to buy himself a little more time to mentally prepare, he moved his hips down another few inches on the redhead's torso, so the fingers couldn't quite reach as far. As soon as he did that though, he felt something far warmer poke him and he froze. Axel pulled back this time and gave the blonde a concerned face. Roxas' cheeks turned a few shades darker and the redhead brought a hand up to stroke his cheek gently.

"No?" the redhead asked. The Charge took a breath. He was beginning to become worried about the inevitable pain again in addition to being a horrible lay. He rested his forehead on Axel's clavicle and sighed. "We don't have to," the redhead said sadly and rubbed his back.

"It's not that," Roxas said and shook his head a little. "I'm just worried."

"…I'll try not to hurt you."

"I know, but that's not the only problem I'm having."

"Oh. Well what else?" Axel asked and tried to look at the blonde's face but couldn't maneuver quite right. Roxas let out a nervous laugh.

"Uh…what if I'm really terrible?" he blurted. Axel thought about it for a second before laughing and hugging the blonde tightly.

"I'm going to be brutally honest and say that it doesn't really matter because I have nothing to go on anyway so you're pretty much in the clear. I have no fucking idea what good or bad sex is yet."

"…True. I forgot about that part."

"Right. Not that it does my ego any good, mind you but I can't deny the truth. You'll have to let me know what you like and what you don't like."

"I can do that," Roxas confirmed and pushed himself up to look into Axel's face. The redhead smiled and rubbed his back again. The comforting expression forced a smile onto the blonde's face as well. He rested his forehead against the redhead's and rubbed noses with him a few times. Axel planted a quick kiss on his lips before stretching as far and as wide as he could and reached over his head, smacking his hand into his side table.

"Ow," he grunted before he awkwardly tugged the drawer open with one finger and bent his arm backwards more to dig around inside. Roxas took the opportunity to kiss the Carrier's collar bones and chest again before flicking a nipple with his tongue. Axel's hand froze in the drawer and he shivered a bit before resuming his search. The blonde pulled at the nub with his teeth, eliciting another shudder from the redhead whose actions quickened.

"What are you doing?" Roxas asked. Axel grumbled angrily before pulling himself up more and twisting his arm around properly to dig with renewed familiarity.

"Looking for something," he huffed and the blonde pushed off of his stomach and sat on the bed. He was able to look the redhead over then, and he didn't really see anything different except a full view of Axel's firey hair. He remembered something then and when the Carrier groaned and pulled himself over to the drawer more, Roxas was able to move downward and shove his legs open. Axel froze, eyebrow raised. The blonde wasn't dainty about it and stuck his hand out and shifted the Carrier's scrotum upwards before blinking in surprise.

Axel's model number was very plainly inscribed in his skin but it was the way it was printed that shocked Roxas. He was expecting to have to fish through the wiry hair and find it that way but it was quite the opposite. There was a rectangle of hair missing where the number was, making a sort of window or placard that screamed 'here I am!' It also helped that the number itself was etched in thick lettering and black ink.

**4x31**

"Huh…" the blonde said, trying not to laugh.

"Took you long enough," Axel chuckled and closed the drawer. "I told you it was easy to see."

"For some reason I almost expected it to not be there. Like it was all some really involved joke," he said. The redhead pushed himself onto the bed fully again and set a small bottle aside before pulling the blonde to him. Immediately, Roxas' heartbeat sped up and he wrapped his arms around Axel's neck and laid his head in the crook of his neck. The redhead pressed the Charge to him firmly and shifted them both around until he was on top of the blonde. Roxas allowed himself to drop onto the comforter and his uneasiness skyrocketed, making his cheeks heat up again and his palms sweat.

Axel gave him a reassuring smile and wrapped his arms around him, shoving the limbs under him and enveloping him in a cushion of warmth. He nuzzled his face into the blonde's neck and licked the skin firmly, pulling it between his lips and sucking; leaving his mark. The tingling the action warranted shot down Roxas' spine and pooled under his navel, hitching his breath some. Axel retracted an arm from under him and stroked the blonde's skin all the way down his torso until he could feel the line of hair on Roxas' stomach.

He followed the path until he could run a warm finger up the blonde's needy length, pulling a light gasp from the body beneath him. Roxas' hands settled on the redhead's shoulders and he gripped them nervously. Axel moved away from the abused spot on the Charge's neck and went back for the lips. The blonde responded greedily and pulled at the Carrier's bottom lip with his teeth. Axel let out a sigh at the feeling and groped around the bed until he found the little bottle again. He freed his other arm before pulling the cap open and depositing a bit of the substance on his fingers.

Roxas was distracted, and happily so. That is, until he felt a cold wet hand slide over his cheeks and probe around in places he was sure he wanted probed. Axel's free and dry hand slid underneath him again and held them close, his tongue working with his Charge's diligently and keeping the blonde's mind fogged over. It wasn't until the redhead's finger touched Roxas' entrance that the blonde tensed. The Carrier broke their heated kiss.

"Relax," he said quietly and kept their foreheads together. Roxas' eyes were wide with nervousness but Axel kept them locked with his and massaged the tight muscle gently with his fingertip, watching the blonde's cheek twitch with the new feeling. Roxas didn't know what to think. In some ways, it was disturbing. In the rest of the ways it was intriguing. He tried to hold on to the good ideas and simply trust Axel, but he was having difficulties. The redhead let his Charge get used to the sensation before pressing forward and inserting his finger. The intrusion was frightening and Roxas gasped, sucking in a breath through clenched teeth. His toes curled and every fiber of his being tensed. Axel pulled his free hand out from under him and used the clean fingers to pet the blonde's hair. "You need to relax, you're making it harder on yourself," he cooed, eyebrows high and pushed together in concern. Roxas let out a shuddering breath and furrowed his brows together, glaring at nothing in particular.

"That's totally only one finger isn't it?" the blonde huffed abruptly.

"…Like hardly an inch, yeah."

"Oh god," Roxas groaned and held his face in his hands. He took another breath and let it out slowly. "Okay…okay…" he muttered to himself and Axel quirked a brow.

"Should we stop? Am I hurting you?"

"No! No. You're not hurting me," he blurted. "It's just really weird. Sorry, I'll shut up now," he insisted and rubbed his face. After another minute Axel could feel the blonde relax some and pressed onward, despite Roxas' wriggling and strangled squeaks. Time and time again the Charge insisted he was fine, but the redhead had his doubts. He decided to trust the blonde though and after a while, he was able to press another finger inward, eliciting a whole new vocabulary from his Charge, the likes of which he had never heard before. He wondered if his neighbors could hear.

Axel was almost afraid to kiss him again. With the way Roxas was gritting his teeth constantly, he feared for the integrity of various piece of his mouth. The blonde pulled him down though and he obliged, hoping to distract the Charge from whatever odd feelings he had. Surprisingly, he didn't lose a lip or a chunk of his tongue once the third finger was inside. Roxas of course, emitted a strange string of muffled squeaks and near-whimpers into their kiss but kept them together to urge the redhead on.

Axel wasn't sure what to think. Once the blonde had adjusted to the feelings of his nimble fingers being inside, he started to move them around gently, making Roxas' eyes fly wide and break their kiss to chew on his own lip in muffled concentration. The Charge was in pieces mentally as he tried to understand all the feelings. His toes were twitching and his thighs jerked involuntarily in response to the redhead's movements. The Carrier removed a finger and used the other two to push around and figure out how far in the blonde's prostate was. Not only did it serve a very practical purpose for later knowledge, but the reaction he got when he did find it, was heavenly. The sudden noise Roxas emitted made the redhead grin and bury his face in the blonde's neck in order to hide it. By the time the Charge was sufficiently prepped, his arousal was weeping and his body was coated in a thick film of sweat.

Axel kissed him again as he pulled his free hand away to search for the bottle of lube again. He rewetted his hand and slicked the substance over himself before moving to where his hand had been just moments before. Roxas wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck again and held him close. After a few minutes of heated tongue battles of which neither party won, the Carrier pressed his needy tip against the blonde's entrance and all the activity froze. Axel pulled away just enough to speak.

"Okay?" he asked breathlessly. Roxas panted against his lips for a few excruciating seconds, blue eyes searching the endless green. He swallowed thickly and nodded shakily. Axel's heart did a flip and he restrained his sudden wild urges to pound the little blonde senseless before pressing forward. Immediately, the blonde grit his teeth again and struggled to keep relaxed. The redhead's eyes fluttered shut and he sucked in a shaky breath as his Charge clamped down around the sensitive head.

" _Thaaaat's not a finger!_ " the blonde cried and gripped Axel's shoulders, digging his nails into the skin, though the redhead didn't notice. He could hardly concentrate enough to stay upright. Roxas' pained squeak snapped him out of his sensations though and he shifted hazy eyes to the blonde's face. He stopped moving and let his Charge adjust.

"I'm sorry," Axel panted. "Did you want to stop?" Roxas shook his head because he couldn't trust his voice enough to answer properly. There wasn't any going back by this stage in the game. Even if he walked funny for the rest of the week, he still wanted this. He was just having a hard time showing it. He took several deep breaths, enough to calm himself some and he ran his hands over the redhead's shoulders and neck, reassuring him by touch.

"I'll be okay," the blonde choked out.

"Yeah well…if you keep squeezing me so much it might be over before it begins," the redhead rasped out followed by an embarrassed throaty chuckle. Roxas snorted a little and took another few minutes to gather himself. He couldn't really tell if he relaxed enough until he nodded for Axel to move again and found that it was still just as painful. On and off they went until the redhead had managed to sheathe himself fully in the blonde. His shoulders were covered in scratches and had tiny patches of missing skin where Roxas had pulled at him too much. Once fully inside though Axel laid himself on his Charge gently and smothered him in a wave of affectionate kisses and nibbles until he could feel the blonde relax around him again. Roxas knew he would be sore, if not right away, definitely in the morning. He didn't care though, Axel was there every step of the way reassuring him that he wasn't going to die or take advantage of any moment of weakness.

"Move," Roxas said after another moment of readjustment. Axel watched the cerulean eyes for any hint of hindrance and when he found none, used his less than pristine hand to pull up the blonde's thigh and position him better. His clean hand stayed underneath Roxas to hold him close and it took him a second to figure out a comfortable angle for himself to go from but eventually, he started.

Roxas grit his teeth again and he tried to decide if he enjoyed the weird feelings that seeped through the pain on occasion. What he _knew_ he liked were the grunts that Axel made. The sounds were new and exclusively for him. Through his pain and awkward feelings the blonde watched his Carrier's eyes squeeze shut as he tried to remain in control of himself. Roxas wasn't really getting much out of his first time, simply because it was too new for him to fully enjoy, not because he hated Axel or their actions. He was alright with that for now. There'd be other times, and they would be better. Hopefully. No, definitely. He was sure of it. He just needed to make sure Axel was okay with it. The redhead was obviously having issues and trying to hold himself back. By this point, it wasn't so much that he wanted it to be over with, he just _really_ wanted to see Axel's orgasm face. It took him a few minutes to ignore his pain but eventually he was able to muster up enough of himself for a few moans and lustful pants. The redhead glanced at him briefly to check and see if he was really the one making such noises before resting his forehead on the blonde's chest and hiding his embarrassed face.

"I…I can't…" Axel strained as his movements became more erratic.

"Come for me, Axel," Roxas panted and combed his fingers through the Carrier's hair. The redhead grit his teeth and pushed himself up enough to see the blonde's face again. After only a couple more thrusts, he released into his Charge with a shuddering moan that sent ripples through the blonde's skin. It was _loud_ and left Roxas' ears ringing afterward. Startling, yes. But uniquely Axel. A surprising, yet so very satisfying discovery on the journey into their burgeoning sex life. The redhead's eyes had fluttered closed again and he struggled to catch his breath before opening them again and looking down at a very wide eyed Roxas. Axel's cheeks immediately flew three shades darker.

"…That was me wasn't it?" the redhead asked shakily. The blonde bit his lip to prevent and enormous grin from spreading across his face and he nodded adamantly. Axel cleared his throat a little and looked away, his blush darkening further. "…You didn't finish did you?" he asked after an awkward moment and looked back to Roxas who was still whittling his lip. The blonde shook his head. "Can…can you say something?" Axel asked sheepishly. Roxas snorted several times before bursting out in laughter.

"That was _awesome_!" he cried. "Do it again!" Axel's eyes widened.

"Do what again?"

"That noise and that face! Oh my god!" Roxas blurted and held his chest. Axel furrowed his brows and glared into the comforter. He gave the blonde a moment to calm down before pulling out quickly, stifling any further laughter into an odd squeal followed by an uncomfortable squirm. Axel huffed and scooted several feet away before hugging his knees to his chest, mortified. The Charge didn't give up though and followed after him, albeit a bit wobbly, and leaned against the redhead's side and rested his head against his shoulder. He sighed out the rest of his giggles. "Hey…"

"No."

"That doesn't even make any sense to what I was going to say."

"No more," the redhead grumbled and rested his forehead on his knees.

"Oh stop."

"Laughing at me doesn't exactly help me stop from feeling completely inadequate."

"I wasn't laughing at you."

"…Uh, yeah you were."

"I was happy. Is that a crime? Can't a guy laugh when he's happy?" the blonde huffed. Axel looked at him through several pieces of his hair. "Well?"

"I don't believe you."

"Then that's on you, but we can try again. Not right now obviously, but soon."

"…Yeah?"

"Sure," Roxas nodded and smiled. Axel looked contemplative for a second.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked.

"My ass is on fire. I'll be fine though," the blonde said and shifted his weight a bit, giving a tiny wince. "You were as careful as you could be though. I don't blame you."

"…Okay," the redhead said. Roxas scooted backwards until he could rest his back against the wall. He held his arms open for the Carrier and Axel hesitated for a second before following after him and awkwardly depositing himself in the blonde's lap and lying against his chest. Roxas hugged him tight and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"You smell weird," the blonde said.

"I get a little musky, yeah."

"…Is everyone supposed to do that?"

"Demyx smells weird after he and Zexion go at it if he doesn't shower right afterward, so I assume so. I've never asked anyone else. Is it that bad?" the redhead asked worriedly.

"Eh… I can't decide yet. Definitely need a shower though."

"Agreed. My hand his like…disgustingly sticky," the redhead remarked and touched the tips of his fingers to his thumb, feeling the strange texture.

"Okay gross."

"It happens."

"I have a weird question though."

"Which has me worried, but go ahead."

"Don't think I'm making fun of you or anything, but do you _always_ scream like that?"

"…No. That was the first time," Axel said quietly and the color returned to his cheeks again and he shrunk down a bit in his spot. Roxas rubbed his shoulder and grinned.

"Awesome."

Their first time together had been anything but glamorous. For Roxas it had been a nerve wracking and painful experience, despite how much he wanted it. He had some hope though. Leon and Cloud had been bumping together for ever a century, right? It could only get better. Axel was completely unsatisfied with himself and his lackluster performance and he worried for his Charge and whatever pain he was going through. He didn't regret it though. His ego hadn't been spared and the blonde knew a few extra things about him he would rather have kept to himself, but it was ultimately a step in the right direction for them. They'd make it work somehow.

They had time.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

Ever the clever scientist, Zexion looked at the wasteland of Demyx's comforter and was curious. Sure, by that point most of the sperm cells would have long been dead, but it seemed like such a waste to not even _look_ at them and see if they're useable. He opened the sandy blonde's armoire and started to push things around until he found a sample canister and went back to the bed. Part of him was curious to see if the cells were even affected by the drugs. The other parts were almost hoping they were. Sperm were relatively boring to watch all day but if they were tripped out on drugs and _then_ attempting to swim around, well, that could almost be funny. He had never looked at his own sperm when he was on the stuff simply because it wasn't as valuable or as much of a waste if it was expelled elsewhere so the opportunity was interesting.

Hopefully, it would be easy to tell whose was whose under the microscope. It wasn't as if Zexion hadn't enjoyed himself a little bit too during their escapade and his own little swimmers would be mixed in as well, just not in such volume. Although, if they were, Zexion had the eye to tell them apart. It almost made more sense to toss his and Demyx's sperm together into a giant vat anyway and start slicing everything up and letting the science run its course. The compatible hunks of cytoplasm would pull together on their own hopefully, right? Maybe. It made _some_ sense, but not total sense. They could end up with a sample that had more than two compatible sperm's cytoplasm mixing around and it would make weeding extra things out a whole lot more complicated.

Sample in hand, he set it aside for the moment and attempted to reorganize the bed in some reasonable manner. He would have to make full use of the laundry facilities today. He sighed a little as he pushed the large ball of bedclothes to the floor and kicked it near the door. Demyx's bedroom was usually a mess anyway and he contemplated picking up the scattered clothes and other miscellaneous things. Taking care of Demyx, though a labor of love, as still just that. Labor. Zexion didn't usually go about picking up after him but the vision of the whimpering Carrier whining about how much his butt hurt tugged at his heartstrings a little and he took pity.

Demyx would just have to make it up to him later somehow.

* * *

Roxas had never thought about Axel's personal hygiene before. Obviously, he had a perfect opportunity to partake in the regimen after their romp together but he never would have guessed it was so involved. The blonde himself was pretty easy. Rub the soap around and make sure nothing smells funny afterward. Wash the hair and let it drip dry. Brush the teeth. Victory, a clean Roxas. He hardly ever had to brush his hair unless he knew he had some serious bed head. Axel, on the other hand, was very meticulous. Whether it was because he had so much hair to wash or if he was just that anal retentive, Roxas had no idea. Perhaps before the blonde was there, it was less than what it was currently because it seemed like a lot to do for eighty-six years straight. The redhead was willing to answer any of the questions that accompanied the strange looks his Charge was giving him, but the blonde was being polite and not saying anything.

"Did you need something?" the Carrier asked as he tugged a hairbrush through his beaten locks. The shower was running and waiting to be jumped into. Roxas shrugged.

"I just thought it was weird you brush your hair before a shower."

"And after," the redhead added. "Then again after it's halfway dry, then again once it's completely dry. Sometimes even more in between all those."

"Good god. Why?" the blonde asked, a little surprised.

"Because if I didn't, it'd stand up in weird places. The style I have from the Catalogue is actually a lot pointier than what my hair normally is, and this is my way of keeping a happy medium without looking like a damn porcupine."

"Wait so the Catalogue styles your hair?"

"Sort of. Carrier skin doesn't handle synthetic gels and weird things very well much like we don't like fragrances in our soaps and stuff. We can pick the tension of our hair follicles much like humans are born with different kinds of hair. Coarse, curly, soft, straight, fair, you know. All Carrier hair is the same, it's how it's programmed from the Catalogue that makes it different," the redhead said simply and let out a grunt as he ripped through a nasty tangle. Roxas raised a brow.

"Weird. Then again, I suppose it saves the effort of going to a salon or something. If your hair grew and did all the natural stuff mine does, everyone would look like yetis because they'd never do anything with it."

"Exactly. Technically we could change our entire look every day if we cared to. We just don't. Well, I don't. I've had the same hair color forever," Axel said and set the hairbrush aside and tested the water with his fingers.

After they had shared a long cuddle, where they had both nearly fallen asleep, the blonde had blurted out that they both were disgusting and needed to bathe. That, and they also needed to get back to the lab before their tiny female glob died. Axel agreed. He wasn't prepared to continue the day with sticky fingers and germ encrusted everything else. Not that either of them discounted what they did together as something disgusting but the aftermath of anal sex isn't exactly the cleanest thing to wallow around in. The redhead said he especially needed to get cleaned up otherwise he'd risk getting an infection from his foreskin keeping everything up close and personal. Roxas hadn't even considered that issue. He had forgotten they were different like that. Alike, but different.

As soon as Roxas was ushered inside the shower, he was bombarded by a pair of warm wet hands pushing him around until he faced the wall the shower head was coming from. Axel slipped in behind him, wrapping his arms around his Charge and laying his cheek against the moistening flaxen hair. Roxas leaned back against him and enjoyed the comfort. Already, he could feel the hurt setting on his lower half but he ignored it and concentrated on the redhead's hands. They were secure and firm against him, providing a nice security blanket. Security from what, he had no idea, but it was a good feeling.

"I could fall asleep right here…" the redhead trailed as the pattering of water and a nice warm body to hang on to lulled him.

"Don't do that, you'd crush me," Roxas said. He was beginning to reconsider the idea of heading back to the lab, he was tired too. "How long will the goober last in the Terminal?"

"Probably until tomorrow, provided nothing happens."

"Fuck, nap time after this," the blonde deemed.

"As much as I'd love to, I don't want to make her wait. Not only am I anxious to get her into the tank but I don't want to worry. You don't have to come with if you want to sleep. I can handle it."

"Eh…tempting. But no, I'd rather participate."

"Okay," Axel smiled. With little warning he picked up the soap and started vigorously rub the blonde over with it, opting to use his hands instead of a washrag. Roxas yelped at the sudden activity and was pushed around at strange angles in his place in order to get every inch of his torso covered in suds. Before he had much time for anything coherent to come from his mouth Axel's hands had traveled southward. Suddenly, the dynamic changed from practical to sensual as the redhead slid soapy hands over his thighs and back up into the wiry blonde fuzz covering Roxas' genitals. The Carrier kissed the backs of the blonde's shoulders and the side of neck as his fingers started to lather up the soap easily.

"Wh-what are we doing?" Roxas shuddered under the touch and reached a hand forward to press against the wall and hold him steady as Axel leaned on him. The redhead didn't answer and began to stroke him, making Roxas' breath hitch and sigh a little under the coaxing. Once he was completely rigid again, Axel stopped. The blonde blinked confusedly a few times and was allowed to stand upright again. The redhead nudged him around to face him and Roxas looked up at the glittering yellow-green eyes with concern. Axel smiled. "I don't think I can go again right now…" the blonde trailed and the Carrier chuckled a bit.

"We aren't," he said and nudged the Charge backwards until his back met with the wall. Roxas grimaced at the sudden chill but it was short lived. Axel used his hands to rinse the majority of the soap off of the blonde's front before lifting his chin with a finger for a kiss. His other hand slid down again and he pressed his palm into Roxas' hardened length and massaged him gently. Once they had to break for air, the redhead proceeded to make quick work of the Charge's neck; kissing a line down one side and smirking a bit at the purple spot he had left earlier. He crouched enough to gain access to Roxas' chest and continued down until he was on his knees in front of the blonde. Roxas had to smile a bit, thankful that the redhead was so willing to satisfy him even if the first attempt of the day wasn't the greatest. He tried to comb his fingers through the sopping red hair but it was too heavy and he couldn't. Axel didn't care though and kissed Roxas' stomach and navel over and over again, cherishing him.

Roxas was beginning to get used to the gentle touches when all of a sudden there was an immense heat over the sensitive head of his member followed a very delightful textured tongue. His eyes fluttered shut and his fingers spasmed against Axel's hair as the redhead began to move, sucking and pulling at the hardened length tenderly. Roxas' thighs twitched and his knees bent a little under the pleasurable sensations but Axel was there to make sure he didn't collapse. The Carrier kept him pressed to the wall firmly and made sure that he couldn't go very far. Once the tingling pool started to fill under the blonde's navel, Roxas started to pant and moan some, using his free hand to grip Axel's shoulder for added support.

The redhead was a quick study. He remembered all that Roxas had shown him just two days prior and he was overjoyed with the results. The blonde was quickly being reduced to a wobbly puddle under his ministrations and Axel looked up at the panting face and committed the image to memory. _That_ was Roxas' happy face. The slightly parted lips, the sometimes half lidded glassy eyes, the flushed cheeks (that were more than just being in the warm shower), and of course the way his cheek twitched whenever the feelings spiked a bit before relaxing away. Axel wanted to see that face whenever he could. It was stunning.

"A…Axel…" the blonde panted when he could feel himself growing close. The redhead took that as an open invitation and sped up, causing Roxas' hips to jerk into the movements. He grabbed onto the Carrier's hair and grit his teeth before shuddering out a strangled moan as Axel pushed him over the edge. The redhead politely took every drop of what Roxas had to give him. When he released the blonde though and he began to slide down the wall, Axel gave a quick and unnoticed spit over his shoulder. Semen didn't taste all that great to him. When the Charge flopped onto the floor, the Carrier was quick to pull him into his lap for a snuggle followed by a spattering of kisses on his face to replace the strange taste in his mouth with that of skin.

"Okay?" Axel asked and the blonde nodded. Whether the question was directed to how the blonde was feeling or the quality of the blowjob, he had no idea. He just knew the answer was yes. Roxas draped his arms loosely around the redhead's waist and pressed his face into his chest. The Carrier smiled and shifted his legs around to cradle his Charge in the limbs and rub his back.

"Nap," the blonde grunted. "Play with babies later."

"Well since you asked so charmingly, how could I refuse?" Axel chuckled. "Short one okay? We really need to get back to work." Roxas nodded, Axel kissed his hair. "First things first though. We're both not nearly scrubbed enough."

"Eh…I forgot. Yeah, I agree," the blonde said and pushed himself up from the Carrier's chest and grimaced a bit at how slippery he felt between his cheeks still. Axel's hands hadn't spread any soap back there, that's for sure.

* * *

A short nap turned into two hours of snoozing followed by so much cuddling it nearly gave both parties cavities it was so damn sweet. Axel never would have guessed that such a person was under Roxas' initial prickly shell. He could hardly remember the blonde's personality profile back when he had first chosen him, but even then he doubted there was anything like this. Not that he was complaining, quite contrary, he was thrilled. He felt that Roxas would be able to make up for all eighty-six years of his lonely life simply by being around and giving him a quick hug or cuddle here and there.

Axel didn't feel like he was by himself anymore. Yes, there was still as significant lack of orange fur roaming around but he wasn't actually alone. He had Roxas now. The angry little bastard he had picked up on a giant risk so long ago. How long ago was it? Axel couldn't remember. He'd have to check the calendar later to be sure. He stopped paying attention to the months and years once he got to be around fifty and realized he wasn't getting any wrinkles. The Catalogue lets him know when important stuff is happening anyway.

Roxas wasn't entirely sure what was happening to him, but he decided he didn't really care. All he knew was that Axel made him happy. For all of the anger and frustrating things they had shared in their recent past, it had turned out fairly well. There were still a few trip-ups, a few ups and downs as far as their personalities went but for the most part, it was fine. He could deal with that. So long as Axel was there to give him a warm touch, a firm hug, and that fuzzy treasured feeling he had discovered, he would be happy.

A loud ringing startled both of them out of their light comfortable doze. Axel groaned into Roxas' hair and buried his face behind the blonde's neck to make it go away. The Charge laughed a little. Someone was calling on Axel's Catalogue terminal and neither of them wanted to get up. Axel had curled himself around Roxas' small frame, creating a comfortable cocoon around his Charge and the immense amount of skin on skin contact was too much to give up. Roxas nudged him though, by jabbing an elbow into his ribcage.

"It's your room," the blonde mumbled.

"But if I get up, that means I have to put on pants."

"Take a pillow and make it really awkward for whoever it is, then. Maybe they'll get the hint and go away quicker," Roxas said. Axel raised a brow.

"That's not a bad idea actually," he agreed and groped around for a spare one. He untangled himself from the blonde and muttered angrily as the ringing persisted. He didn't bother covering himself until he managed to plop himself in his chair, letting out a light yelp as the cold metal spread over _far_ too much of his skin. He had to remember that feeling for later and make the extra effort to put pants on. He quickly plugged in his Link and waited. Surprisingly, it was Cloud.

"What the fuck? Put some damn pants on!" the taller blonde yelled and backed away from the screen. There was a chorus of laughter in the distance on his end. Back in the bedroom, Roxas sat up and looked at the door curiously. He wasn't expecting to hear Cloud, either.

"Shut up, I was busy. What?" Axel said snidely through his grin. A few pieces of brown hair peeked into view a minute before half of Sora's face awkwardly took up most of the screen.

"Woo-hoo! Go Axel!" he cried into the monitor. The redhead regretted his decision against pants and held his face in one hand.

"How many people are there?" Axel asked, hiding the embarrassment in his voice well. Being comfortable with other Carriers was one thing, at least he could relate to half of them. Not so much the Charges, people he didn't know so well. Cloud had been around so long he was almost like another Carrier to the redhead, but that didn't make it any less weird.

"Like… everyone," the brunette said and laughed.

" _Goody_ , that teaches me to be lazy," the redhead laughed sarcastically. The conversation in the background of what was obviously Leon and Cloud's lab continued.

"Did you kill Roxas? He's not in his room."

"I'm here," the blonde interjected, padding into the tiny room in his boxers. In the background, Cloud groaned and put a hand over his face. Sora grinned and hiked his eyebrows up.

"Hey brother, so uh…what'cha doing?" the brunette asked and chewed on his lip to hide his giggles.

"I _was_ taking a nap," Roxas huffed.

"A naked nap," Sora said.

"And? Your point is?"

"…For serious? Just sleep?" Sora asked, sounding thoroughly disappointed. Roxas shrugged. Axel followed suit, thankful the blonde had the decency to not kiss and tell. "You guys are boring as hell!" the brunette cried and stomped away from the screen. His voice faded and meshed in with the others in the background. Cloud came back to the screen.

"He's so damn gullible, it's creepy," the taller blonde said and rolled his eyes.

"I know, right?" Roxas added with a smirk.

"Anyway, come on down to the lab when you guys have a minute. We've found something _everyone_ can enjoy. Well, maybe not Leon. He's not as happy as everyone else is."

"You could have just come over here and asked," Axel said.

"And run the risk of seeing your dick in person? No thanks. It's bad enough you're wearing a _pillow_ ," Cloud grumbled. The redhead shrugged.

"Would you rather I wear Roxas?"

"…I should come down there and beat you with something."

"Oh you," Axel twittered and batted at the air playfully. "You don't have to beat me off to be my friend."

"I'm going to kill you," the taller blonde growled. Roxas smirked and held back a snort.

"You've been telling me that for years," Axel said.

"And if you push me enough, it may come true."

"Yeah yeah," the redhead deflected and waved a hand dismissively. "Anyway, we'll be down in a few."

"Fine," the taller blonde spat and ended their transmission. Immediately, the color rushed to Axel's cheeks and he held his face in his hands, letting out a groan.

"Why did I _do_ that?" he grumbled.

"Do what?" Roxas asked.

"Answer without any pants on."

"Because you're just about as gullible as Sora, let's go."

* * *

Everyone in the social circle was present and accounted for in Leon and Cloud's lab once Roxas and Axel had pulled themselves together enough to show up. Everyone, except for Demyx. Zexion was at the Extractor, his eyes to the microscope and looking in thoughtfully. The other four, were talking amongst themselves a short distance away. Axel quirked a brow at everyone once he and Roxas came in and Sora was the first one to break away from the group and come skittering over.

"Demyx is a genius!" the brunette squealed in his brother's face. The blonde leaned back, fearing Sora's teeth were going to bite his nose off in his excitement. Riku had a smirk across his face, Leon was grumpy and Cloud was grinning from ear to ear.

"Demyx…is a what?" Axel asked skeptically.

"Leon too!" Sora added.

"Leon I can believe, Demyx not so much," the redhead said. Roxas raised a brow and went over to Zexion to see what he was doing. The other Charge gave him a small smile.

"Accidental genius," Leon said. "Really, a lot of the credit should go to Zexion for making the discovery. Had he washed Demyx's duvet, we wouldn't have been able to see it."

"Wait what?" Axel asked, a little disgusted by the idea of Demyx's semen encrusted bed clothes.

"The effects of the drugs on Carrier sperm," Leon said.

"Are we back to this again? I really don't give a damn what it does, I'm not taking it," the redhead growled.

"Oh don't worry about it, Leon and I have to run some tests first just to make sure," Cloud said and draped and arm around Leon's shoulders, leaning against him with a devious grin. The Carrier looked less than pleased. Zexion stepped away from the microscope for Roxas to look into. The blonde quirked a brow once he could see inside. There were several hyperactive sperm under the lens that looked to be attacking one helpless one that looked too tired to move. Zexion leaned in close to him, having been watching the sample for several minutes already.

"The one that's not moving is mine. The rest are Demyx's," he said quietly and Roxas wondered if he was watching the cellular equivalent of a rape. "Go ahead and cut one of Demyx's open along with mine. See what happens," he urged and Roxas fiddled with the controls just enough to do just that. Once the thin membranes of the cells were open, the cytoplasm from Demyx's started to literally suck the cytoplasm of Zexion's into itself. Roxas was a little horrified.

"Poor little guy got annihilated," the blonde said, mourning the sad little tired cell.

"Oh don't worry, mine was already dead," Zexion said and Roxas gaped at him. "That's the interesting part."

"Wait so…how old was Demyx's?"

"I have no idea; they should've been dead a long time ago though. They're not and they're beating the shit out of mine even if they've already died. It's fascinating."

"Wow," Roxas said and looked contemplative. "That takes a lot of the guesswork out of things."

"Indeed it does. And it means that the samples may not degrade as easily while in storage. Even if it does help the initial stages, I still don't know what kind of Carriers it'll make but it's worth scoping out. For all we know we could get the Carrier equivalent to human crack babies."

"True, but that's quite a discovery," Roxas added. By this point, the rest of the group had summarized the results to Axel as well and everyone was talking excitedly about the subject. Except for Leon. He wasn't having the greatest Tube Day.

"C'mon! We have to try!" Sora cried happily and tugged on Riku's arm. The snowy Carrier looked apprehensive.

"You just assume this is fine with me?" he asked calmly. The brunette shrugged.

"Suppose I did," he said and smiled. Riku smirked and looked to Leon.

"Well? What are _you_ going to do? Test your own product?" he asked and the other Carrier sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I guess I'll have to if we want to get a steady sample pool," he said. Cloud's grin couldn't have gotten any bigger and he yanked his lover to his chest. Leon grunted against the sudden movement and made no move to hug him back. The taller blonde didn't care, and squeezed him tight. Roxas went to Axel. The redhead had crossed his arms over his chest and had his brows pushed together in cranky thought.

"I don't like this," Axel said and raised a brow at his Charge. Roxas shrugged.

"I think it's a little soon for us anyway," he said quietly. The redhead nodded.

"I'd like to try again without anyone's help, you know?"

"Agreed."

* * *

Axel's crankiness had subsided once he was away from the commotion. Roxas was thankful for it. They departed from Leon and Cloud's lab and had headed back to their own to attend to the matters they had been putting off for several hours now. The Gestational Terminal was just as they had left it. Roxas pulled an additional chair over and set it next to Axel's, sitting gently. It took him a minute to get into a position that didn't ache, but he was able to. The redhead watched his movements carefully out of the corner of his eye, feeling terrible. He sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?" the blonde asked.

"Hurting you."

"I'm not sorry."

"…You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"And neither do you, so stop."

"But I d—"

"Axel."

"Yes?"

"Shut up," Roxas said sternly and gave the redhead a glare. Axel sighed.

"Alright."

The silence between them was a little uneasy simply because Axel was letting it be uneasy. For Roxas it was fine. The random physical features the redhead had picked out in his haste previously weren't all that bad. There were a few weird inconsistencies and most of them pertained to the stature aspect of their Carrier versus anything in the face. They had a few laughs imagining the short girl with hands the size of Axel's and all the other random disproportionate things that could be involved with that. There were a few things that they let the Terminal generate for them, like potential breast size and the way her vagina would look since neither of them cared. The only way they could figure out who made a prettier vagina is if Roxas went back to his mom and asked her to bend over. Axel's female human donor probably was long dead by this point so neither of them could figure it out. So long as everything worked okay, it didn't matter. Genitals weren't really all that pretty to look at anyway. There was a small debate on some of the facial features though.

"Isn't there a way to have some of each? See… look," Roxas started and poked at the screen, bringing up the genetic diagram of Axel's lips. "I like the shape of your top lip better than mine. But I like my bottom lip."

"Well hold on now, let me get that far," the redhead said and started typing away quickly. The diagram shifted and showed what the mouth would turn out to be if they simply superimposed the two pieces together.

"Eugh, what the hell?" the blonde blurted, aghast at the appearance. Axel laughed.

"You know, while I was in Radiant Garden I saw a picture and read a magazine article that took a bunch of the 'best parts of the most beautiful' people in the world and tossed them together on one face. Like Angelina Jolie's lips with Jennifer Aniston's nose. Without any adjustments to the features, the resulting person was really…awful. Seriously. But, luckily we have the ability to make it work," the redhead said and gave his Charge a wink. Roxas watched the screen as Axel got to work again and the image adjusted around into a very nice petite set of lips with a pouty bottom lip and a nice cupid's bow top lip. The blonde nodded his approval.

"I'd make out with her," he said bluntly and Axel snorted.

"If she wasn't sort of your daughter?"

"…Yeah, thanks for reminding me."

"It's what I'm here for."

"So what do you want to do for her personality?" Roxas asked.

"Leon and Cloud let the computer generate theirs. Which is a good thing for them because the Terminal goes back a few generations on the Charge's side to find new traits. If they didn't do that we'd have an entire herd of cranky asshole women roaming around here."

"Or, if we happen to do that for us, we might end up with another Sora," the blonde grumbled.

"I like your brother. What's wrong with him?"

"He's…quirky. You didn't grow up with him."

"I know, but I saw him almost as much as you while you guys were growing up."

"Yeah well, if we get a Sora and then Riku makes a Sora, we'll have too many fucking Soras. I'm good with one. Love him to death, don't get me wrong, but one is enough."

"Ah. I see. Well, then we better get a snack because that part gets way more complicated because we can't see what we're doing."

"How long does this part usually take?" Roxas asked.

"Which one?"

"The whole Gestational Terminal part?"

"It depends on who's running it. Everyone spends a while on the first one, getting a feel for it even if nothing comes from the results. You can save the blueprints to use again on another Carrier if the first ones fails so it's not like you have to start from scratch every time. Demyx's family is all randomly generated, while Cloud and Leon like to get involved a little more. Not completely, but some. Tifa and Zack's Carrier that's replacing Josiah is basically a copy of Josiah with a few changes."

"I like this part. It's taking a while but it's probably the closest thing to motherhood either of us can get," Roxas said and laughed a little. Axel smiled.

"It's true. 'Baby shopping' is what I like to call it."

"That's totally what it is, isn't it? It's like eBay. But for baby pieces."

"Hey, don't joke about eBay. That place sometimes has _real_ body parts pop up now-a-days."

"…eBay still exists?"

"The entire internet does, Roxas. What, did you think the Catalogue is just a giant thing just for Carriers? Please! We have a huge program, yes. But the entire system is centered around the internet," Axel said and grinned.

"I had no idea. Does that mean if you go online you can like… download a virus into yourself?" the blonde asked warily.

"I can. It's fatal for me so I don't do it. I stick to our program because it's on a closed network. Some Carrier's risk it but it's mostly the Charges that use it."

"Wow. That's really creepy. Has anyone died from using the internet too much?"

"There have been Carriers that have gotten viruses and they screw up their Links so much that their equilibrium is thrown out of whack and they destroy themselves. Electricity is a big deal for us in general, let alone something that fucks with the programming inside us."

"Huh. It makes sense, I just never really thought about it. I forget that you're not totally human all the time. Like, aside from the Totem part."

"Unfortunately, yes. I'm not completely human."

"Random question?" the blonde asked. Axel nodded. "Do you ever wish you were totally human?" he continued carefully. The redhead took a moment to think, his face growing serious.

"Sometimes, but mostly because of the way I'm treated by other people. I don't mind being part… machine I guess I can call it? I'm not sure what to call my Link, but I don't really mind that part of myself so much as I do my Totem. It's really weird being able to turn into something that's completely different than your normal self, you know?"

"Yeah."

"I'm human enough to have most of the perks though. Like free will and the ability to think for myself rather than being completely run on instinct and pre-programming. When I say I have a 'program' inside myself it's referring to the way my Link keeps my body in check. I have stronger instincts for some things than most humans would simply because my Totem is a part of me but all of my thoughts and feelings are myself. My mind. Not some program. The Catalogue can change some things about me, but it's all physical. Unless I get a virus from the internet, there isn't any way to change who I am unless I bash my head in or something. Just like a human."

"What instincts do you have from your Totem that are really strong?"

"The desire to have offspring is biggest one and all the things surrounding that. The instincts aren't perfect though and it can't tell that I'm with someone of the same gender or anything and it can lead to having a high desire to be dominant over whoever, regardless of if they can bear my children naturally or not. Tifa is naturally submissive like that to Zack because she's the woman. She's the one who is mounted then left to squeeze the kids out in nature. Now, that's not to say that free will on the human side of things doesn't play a big part in it, because it does."

"Right, you could've _really_ hurt me before, but you didn't."

"Exactly. It all depends on the person. Leon is _very_ headstrong like that, which is why he's having a rough time with all the drugs and everything because they could really screw with him. Cloud is going to have to tread carefully there if they choose to test it out."

"Cloud is… weird. He was way too happy about all that, I had a hard time not laughing. He looked like a kid in a candy store," Roxas said and chuckled a bit. Axel shrugged and smiled.

"I honestly don't understand them half the time, but being together for so long has to attribute to something. One of them is doing something right, somewhere."

* * *

Cloud sighed and scrolled through his tablet. He was having a small conflict of interests. He had received word from Ansem that Leon's punishment for creating the drugs would be quarantine. He and Leon would be separated for over a week and therefore he had to make the most of the rest of their time together beforehand. Now, Leon was very clear in how unhappy he was with testing the drugs out. Cloud, was ecstatic. The blonde wanted very much to jam a pill down the Carrier's gullet and have his way with him. Leon wouldn't appreciate that, and it would probably upset him more than he already was about the whole scenario.

So therein laid the problem. Cloud wasn't the most patient individual as far as getting something that he wanted and he wasn't willing to delay the test until after Leon came back to him. It also served a practical purpose because if the results did turn out the same, with the sperm almost attacking one another, then he could get a hell of a lot of work done while Leon was away. On the flip side, he wasn't heartless and knew Leon was having issues. He didn't want to upset him and then have him leave for his quarantine to wallow in whatever problems he was having. It was quite the conundrum. Since the test was inevitable though, there was no point in hiding the pills anymore and they sat on the countertop in the kitchen, waiting to be used.

"What did you want to do then?" Cloud asked, having explained what Leon's options were. The blonde was in the kitchen, cooking up the last ostrich egg for them to share. It was an hour after the blonde had received the message from Ansem. The Carrier was at the dining table, with his forehead resting on it, looking dejected.

"Throw them away," came the flat reply.

"But if it helps give things a kick start, don't you think we should take advantage of it?"

"…I do, I just don't like the means. They don't fully justify the ends for me."

"Well would you rather take one and beat off for twelve hours or have me there with you?"

"I haven't masturbated in seventy years," Leon said dully.

"Which is a good way to keep it, in my opinion. I'll be gentle."

"You don't know how to be gentle."

"Only because you deprive me and only let me have you once a year," the blonde said and bisected the omelet in half. Vegetables and cheese for Cloud's half. Barely cooked meat products for Leon's half. The Carrier was silent for a long moment, giving the Charge enough time to finish their meals and join him at the table, plates in hand. Cloud sat and took up a forkful and squinted at it. "I wonder how much cholesterol is in this thing?" he asked. Leon shrugged.

"I have no idea, that's a good question," he answered and pushed himself upright and began to eat. The blonde noticed that his lover had nothing to say about the reason behind his lack of gentleness whenever Leon would offer himself up. He didn't pry though, because he knew Leon was thinking about it. The way the Carrier stabbed at his omelet like it was kicking him in balls gave away his frantic mental state. He ate it though, the entire thing. Cloud was too busy being completely amused by him to even finish half of his own.

"Nothing to say?" the blonde asked when they were finished. Leon was silent for another minute.

"You better get a lot of shit done while I'm gone, asshole. Otherwise you won't have a fucking birthday next year," Leon threatened. Cloud gave him a smug smirk.

"Oh. I will."


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Demyx drummed his fingers on the lab table. He hadn't slept very well the night before because his mind was reeling from what might happen to him and Zexion that morning. His Charge had shared his discovery with him, but he couldn't even think about it and the potential it held for them. He was too nervous.

For as much as he caused it, Demyx didn't like conflict. He was a relatively simple guy but often had ideas that were poorly executed or otherwise haphazard in nature. His mouth often worked faster than his brain. He didn't really think things through all the way unless it was something huge and life changing. So far the only thing like that he had experienced was finding Zexion. Everything else was secondary. Nothing was more important to him than his Charge.

Demyx was not an original Carrier of his kind. Axel, Riku, Leon, they were all originals. Demyx though, was the product of his sister Morgan and her Charge Lilly. He and Zexion had yet to have a Carrier reach full maturity in all ninety years they had been together. It was a difficult thing to be the only one of your friends that has had a Charge for so long and not have at least _one_ Carrier to your name.

The overall problems they were having stemmed from Demyx's Totem. At one point in the Cheetah's history, they were nearly wiped from existence, leaving only one genus behind. The resulting population was forced to inbreed in order to repopulate the losses. As a result, when the Great War happened, all of the Cheetah DNA that was recovered was still very unstable and similar in genetic makeup. It was hard to create new life from one that was already struggling because of genetic disease and abnormalities. At least with strains like Axel's Tiger, there was a wide diversity of genuses for the Technicians to choose from to get the best, purest strain to make him from. Demyx and his siblings had all come from tainted goods, as it were.

For the longest time, Demyx and Zexion's human children were all relatively healthy and could come to infant status as easily (or not) as anyone else's could. The problems and the losses would happen when it was time to introduce the human baby to the Implant. They would join well enough but soon after as the Carrier infant tried to grow, the Totem would reject the human DNA despite the Link's efforts of trying to keep the equilibrium. Abnormalities that would make life unsustainable outside of the gestational tank formed from the problems with the Cheetah Totem and ultimately, the Carrier would have to be aborted. They've lost dozens over the years.

Then, another problem reared its head. Demyx and Zexion had gone to a conference a little over ten years ago where Saïx was walking around with his cattle prod keeping the Carriers in check. There was the cutest little girl with raven hair and big curious eyes that reminded Demyx so much of Zexion when he was little. He watched the little girl stare at him in awe and wanted so much to have a daughter as cute as her one day. He could tell she was spoiled silly though. Her parents hardly paid any attention to her and she was reaching through the bars of his pen to try and touch him. Being as enamored with her as he was, he didn't see the hurt in idly dangling his tail off the platform for her and pretending not notice to how close she was.

Saïx noticed though. Demyx had been stretched out with his back end to the bars of the pen and just before the little girl could grab hold of him, she was yanked away with a surprised squeal by the Technician and Demyx was delivered a terrible shock. Directly onto his testicles. Not only was it the most painful thing he had ever experienced in his life, but he reacted as such. Being in his Primal form at the time, he let out a loud raucous string of animalistic noises, scaring everyone around him. Including the little girl. She was horrified and started to cry, running off to hang onto her mother who paid her hardly any heed. It broke his heart.

For several years after that, Demyx could function sexually well enough but the sperm he produced weren't the healthiest. Not only was he plagued with having a difficult Totem to maneuver, he couldn't even make healthy human children anymore. They either never got to the gestational tanks in the first place, or died shortly after they were introduced. Their current one, the one Axel calls their 'peanut,' is the first to survive for longer than a few days after Demyx had his corrective surgery several years ago. About the only positive thing that came from the entire experience was that Zexion was probably the most proficient Charge in the facility with the Extractors and Pre-Gestational Prep Centers now. During their trial period he had spent thousands of hours tearing through millions of sperm in order to give them the most chances of success.

Fast forward to the present day, and Demyx was nervous for a lot of reasons. After a day of rest and thinking, he was able to recall most of his tripped out night of debauchery. Including the parts where he was looking at Saïx like he was the most delicious thing in the world because Zexion had asked him to stop for an hour to let him rest. He was absolutely disgusted with himself because of it. How could he ask such a thing to such a horrible man? Not only was his betrayal to Zexion a possibility but he would have willingly bent over for the man that had turned his life inside out for ten years. As a result of his foolishness, they had failed their inspection and now the sandy blonde and his Charge had to face the music.

Zexion wasn't even thinking about whatever punishment they might receive. He was hoping offset the anger of whatever Technician they were facing with his discovery. The promise of possible mass production had to be worth something. Even if it only softened the blow. It could possibly even lessen Leon's punishment in the process. Cloud was going to be awful to be around if Leon was gone for the full week and a half. Zexion couldn't even fathom being away from Demyx that long, and the other pair had an extra fifty years together to make it even harder.

"I should apologize to Axel before I'm killed," Demyx said flatly, staring at the wall. Zexion quirked a brow.

"They're not going to kill you," he said.

"So we think."

"It's illegal."

"And who's going to say something if it happens? They won't believe you or anyone else here, _especially_ if it's a Technician who does it. It's a very real possibility."

"Dem, you were tweaked. Not killing people."

"Still!" Demyx yelped and slammed his fist on the table. Zexion flinched though the sandy blonde didn't see. The Carrier ran nervous fingers through his hair, "I… I almost feel like I'd deserve it," he said sadly. Zexion's blood immediately started to boil and he took three steps closer to his lover, reared back and slapped him across the face harshly.

"Enough! Don't say shit like that to me," the Charge yelled. Demyx held his abused cheek and took a second to regain his thoughts. To anyone else, they would have seen a placid and stone faced Zexion. To Demyx, he looked absolutely livid. There was a tiny divot that formed itself above the Charge's eyebrow whenever he was legitimately angry. Demyx was the only one who would recognize it. The sandy blonde blinked a few times, a bit shocked that his Charge had struck him, but he understood why.

"I-I'm sorry…I wasn't thinking," Demyx said quietly. Zexion's shoulders relaxed a bit and he cleared the half step between them and pulled the Carrier's face to his chest in a tight hug. Demyx wrapped his arms around him and squeezed back just as much. All was forgiven.

"Am I interrupting a moment?" Axel asked abruptly, startling the pair. Demyx looked around Zexion as the redhead lingered in the doorway. Axel didn't seem angry anymore.

"No," the sandy blonde replied.

"I came to apologize for yelling at you both," the redhead said flatly. His expression was blank and his stand was tense. Demyx stood and planted a kiss on Zexion's forehead before leaving him to approach his friend.

"I'm sorry for being a dick," the shorter Carrier said and gave the redhead a lopsided weak smile. "I should have listened to you the first time."

"At least you understand," Axel said and smiled back, his posture relaxing. Demyx grinned.

"So I heard you answered Cloud's call in your skivvies," he said. The redhead laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I did. Never again though. That was a bit much. Had I realized who it was and there were more people around, I wouldn't have," he said.

"Yeah well, I've done worse."

"I know. I remember. I also remember Leon punching you in the mouth for it," the redhead laughed.

"Never again! My face hurt for a week," the sandy blonde deemed. "Anyway, thanks. I'll try to stay out of your erm… love life? Do you have one yet?" he asked curiously.

"I do, thanks," Axel smiled. "Albeit a completely unsatisfying one, but it exists. I was actually hoping you could help me with that."

"Unsatisfying?" Demyx questioned. "Like he's awful or you are?"

"Both of us don't really know what we're doing, but mostly me," the redhead said and blushed a little. The sandy blonde smiled.

"Well don't use any drugs; I'm never touching them again. My ass hurts something terrible."

"Sorry," Zexion chimed from across the way, garnering a laugh from both Carriers.

"I'm not planning on using any anyway," Axel said.

"Well what did you need help with then?" Demyx asked.

"Eh…everything."

* * *

Roxas squinted at the Catalogue screen like it had sprouted six human heads. It had taken some creative maneuvering but he had figured out how to get to the internet and cruise around. Things were so much more complex than what he was used to. Not so much the actual internet itself, but using the Catalogue's strange glass flat panel touch interface rather than a mouse and a keyboard to maneuver everything. It was easy enough to use if he needed to type something but to point and click on something was proving more difficult than he thought it should be. He had somehow stumbled upon a forum and chat system that was allegedly used by Charges from all over the place. Thousands upon thousands of people were a part of the community and he took some comfort knowing there were new members every day; at least he wasn't the only relatively new guy around.

Talking with Cloud, Zack and Zexion was fine as far as getting information went but he couldn't really relate to them very well. All of them had been living with their Carriers for so long that they were no longer new and inexperienced like he was. He was still twenty, after all, and had only been with Axel for a little less than a year. Everyone else had an entire lifetime worth of experience and he still felt a little unsure. He spent the better part of two hours simply clicking around and reading the various 'newcomer' type posts and found that a lot of the questions they had were some of the ones he had as well. There were sections that related to same sex Carrier-Charge relationships and ones that weren't, sections for reptiles and cold blooded species Carriers, ones for herbivores, carnivores, and omnivores, predators and prey, ones for nocturnal Carriers and even ones for male and female specifics. He was fascinated.

The profiles were the best to read. Oftentimes there were pictures of Charges and their Carriers and Roxas found some of the pairings to be quite interesting. Not only were the couples sometimes odd and unexpected but the Carriers themselves were all unique. Some of them _looked_ like their Totem, or were easy to guess what type. There were maps showing where on the world their facility dome was, where their ecosystem dome was, and what region their Totem was from originally before the Great War. Some of the Charges even went so far as to tell where they came from. What dimension, what city, what their life was like before they crossed over, everything. Roxas knew he could easily get sucked into reading everything he could, so he didn't let himself linger too long but he couldn't help but notice there was a section dedicated to Technicians as well.

In that section, there were mostly complaints. They had even gotten so organized as to section off the grievances for the Committee members, or general Technicians, lead Technicians, and trainees. Roxas had no idea there were so many types. He only knew of three, Xemnas, Saïx, and Ansem. Apparently, there were almost as many Technicians as there were Charge and Carrier pairs. The sheer magnitude of how large the entire Carrier Project was baffled him. Millions of lives were involved in it and he was only aware of maybe a hundred. He wanted to travel to some of the other domes just so he could see the diversity and he wondered if that was even possible for him. Perhaps it would be a while yet, but maybe he could get out there eventually. He'd have to ask Axel about it. Seeing how grandiose everything was raised a plethora of questions for him, but he didn't have time to dwell. It was still morning, but he needed to get to work.

* * *

"I wish I could see her," Roxas said as he squished his face and hands up against the gestational tank. He and Axel's tiny glob of cells was in there somewhere, but not nearly big enough to see yet. Even though it had been less than twenty-four hours, he was already anxious to see her. Even just a little bit. It was an interesting prospect of being able to see something he created grow. It was like getting a girlfriend pregnant but without the stress of one's parents finding out and the child support that would come later.

"I do too, though the genetic maps and pictures help. It's not the same though," Axel said. He wasn't excited yet. He couldn't let himself be. He had prepared himself years ago to lose tons of zygotes and blastocysts. It wasn't going to be nerve wracking for him until there was a fetus or an infant in there. Once he had the go-ahead to start with the Carrier body was when he would be nervous. He leaned over his Charge and kissed his hair before heading back to the Extractor to prepare more samples, just in case.

Roxas stared into the tank for another few minutes, willing to see something other than liquid spring up. He wondered if the samples made from the drugged out sperm Zexion had found would grow faster than normal ones do. If they did, would they grow so fast they'd have deformities? If not, does that mean they could make successful Carriers at a faster rate and get on to natural creatures that much quicker? It would certainly be a mind blowing thing if it was true.

"Hey Axel?" the blonde asked.

"Hmm?" the redhead hummed from the Extractor, eyes to the microscope.

"If Zexion's discovery speeds _everything_ up and we're able to make a bunch of tiger cubs and repopulate really quickly, what would you do afterward? Like… once everything is finished? Can it ever be finished?" he continued. Axel furrowed his brows in thought at the lenses.

"…I have no idea. I never really thought of my purpose as being a finite thing. I never even considered the possibility of being 'finished.' I mean, I've always hoped there would be a point where my Carriers could continue on and give me a break, but I never thought I could ever say 'yeah, I'm done. There's enough' you know?"

"Oh. Well what would you do if you ever had a couple years for a break?"

"That's a good question. It's not like I have the freedom to go on a vacation somewhere so I don't think I'd travel very much if that's what you're getting at. I can't own a house outside of this dome, I can't stay at hotels or resorts, I can't even technically fly on a plane like a regular passenger. I'm cargo," the redhead said and shrugged.

"You don't have any desire to leave?" the blonde asked, feeling a bit upset at how stifled his Carrier's rights were. He knew Axel wasn't as free as normal people were, but he never understood to what extent.

"Not really. If you wanted to go places though, I wouldn't stop you. If you could figure out some way to take me with you, I'd go. But to go by myself? I don't really feel the need," Axel said. Roxas took a moment to think of the other possibilities of what the redhead could do after everything was finished. He hesitated with his question, trying to determine if it would send the wrong signals. He was curious, not committed.

"Well…" he trailed and chewed on his lip. He wasn't sure he should be asking what he wanted to ask. "Have you ever considered a family? Like…a human one?" he asked quietly. The amount of mixed messages he was sending over the air as the words left his mouth was staggering. He tried to think of a way to reword his question before Axel could answer and at the same time not insult him. "I mean…I…" he stammered.

"…A human family?" Axel asked to himself curiously.

"Yeah, but I'm not trying to initiate anything," Roxas blurted quickly. "I was just curious if you ever had that desire like you do for your other offspring. Are humans even in the equation for Carriers like that? I know you said there were some that started families with their Charges but I wanted to know if there was an instinct for it like there is for a bunch of kittens or whatever."

"Um…" the redhead trailed, thinking. "I never thought about it before. Personally I've been worrying so much about getting progress with my project that everything else has been on the back burner for decades. Is this just a random thought or a roundabout way of telling me you want to bear my children?" he asked, chuckling.

"Just a random thought," the blonde said, his cheeks tinting a light shade of pink. He was nowhere near that kind of relationship with Axel and in hindsight it was probably not the smartest idea to ask the redhead that question. He should have asked Cloud or Leon, a third party that he wasn't quite so involved with. Axel smiled.

"Okay. Can I ask you the same question then? Did you want to start a family?"

"Well…I don't know. I was always taught that you're born, you grow up, go to school, get married to a nice girl, and squeeze some kids out. There was never much choice in the matter for me. I was prepared to do that, really. Now though, I'm not so sure."

"I see. I feel the same way. I have too much to do with my project before I can seriously consider that option."

"You know would be really weird?"

"What's that?"

"Leon and Cloud children."

"Oh god," the redhead said. "They'd burn the facility down."

"Or attempt to. It's hard to burn down tile and concrete."

"True. I'm sure they'd get explosives involved though. We'd all be doomed."

* * *

Xemnas loved his job. He truly did. He had the ability to travel to places hardly anyone dreamed of, he had subordinates aplenty that followed his every whim, he was an authority figure over millions of lives, and he could do pretty much anything his sadistic heart desired with hardly a smack on the wrist. Not only that, but he was wealthy. Before he had become a Technician he was wealthy, but even more so now. He was of the highest caliber as far as the human race went, and he knew it. His intelligence, his physical ability, his charisma, and his wealth made for a very delightful and very rewarding life on his end.

Of the trio of original Committee members (he, Saïx, and Ansem) Xemnas was considered the most dangerous to be around. He was fully aware of everything he was capable of doing and never hesitated to do whatever it took to get his way. Saïx was brash and easy to manipulate and Ansem had too much compassion for the objects he had created. Xemnas knew this, and he considered them to be underlings even if he was the youngest of the three.

Saïx, as usual, had asked Xemnas to clean up after him. A Carrier in Dome 813 had run amok as it were and needed proper reprimanding. The Carrier's Charge apparently was of no help to the situation and needed punishment as well for shirking his responsibilities. He had been given the authority to dole out the punishment as he saw fit. The fact that he would be dealing with apex predator Carriers was of no deterrent to him and he felt a sick sort of satisfaction in possibly reducing them to sniveling piles on the floor before him. It was a delicious delicacy for him, one he partook in as often as he could. Of course, it was all cleverly concealed behind the pristine guise of helping out a fellow Technician. Oh, how charitable Xemnas was!

"7x295!" Xemnas barked and stabbed his stylus into his tablet, briefly reviewing the report Saïx had given him. He wasn't kept waiting for very long and Demyx emerged from his lab, head held high despite his nerves. Xemnas looked him over for a minute. "Do you understand why I am here?" he asked.

"Yes I do," the sandy blonde said flatly.

"Do you _really_? I don't think you understand just how many regulations, not to mention laws, you have broken. I hope your night of fun was worth it," Xemnas said, raising a brow to prove his point. Demyx blinked a few times.

"Laws? What I was using isn't illegal."

"Oh not those laws."

"…Well what other laws are there?"

"I will save you some embarrassment and request that we take this elsewhere, unless you don't mind discussing such things in the hallway."

"Um, no. Yeah. No. Wait…"

"Get in the lab," Xemnas ordered and Demyx nodded a little, horribly confused. He pushed the doors to his lab open and held one for Xemnas and the man strode in with his nose in the air with a sense of entitlement. Zexion was sitting inside patiently and Demyx took a seat next to him. The Technician poked at his tablet for a moment. "Sexual Harassment is a major offense for Carriers, 7x295."

"My name is Demyx. What Sexual Harassment?" he asked. He already partly knew the answer but he didn't want to admit it.

"Propositioning a Technician for sexual intercourse is what I'm talking about. For a Carrier to proposition a _human_ for sexual intercourse who is not their Charge is unlawful, even if the person doesn't have a title. Is there something wrong with you that you would go so far to be unsatisfied with having only your Charge? Is there some inadequacy we should be concerned about? Did you need a new Charge?"

"What? No! I'm not unsatis—"

"Then what?"

"I don't need—"

"What was the issue?"

"I wasn't in my right mi—"

"Stop dancing around the issue and tell me what the cause was."

"I'm trying!" Demyx yelled, glaring at the man.

"Don't raise your voice to me."

"Let me speak and I wouldn't have to."

"Answer my question and we could've moved on by now," Xemnas said.

"I wasn't in my right mind. I was on drugs, and I regret it. I wouldn't have asked Saïx for anything had I not been."

"What kind of drugs were you on?" the man asked. He already had all the details in his report, but he was enjoying making the Carrier uncomfortable. Demyx fidgeted a bit. Zexion stared at the table blankly.

"…Sex drugs," the sandy blonde said quietly.

"Oh, so you _are_ unsatisfied with your Charge."

"No! Never!" Demyx insisted.

"Then why do you need them?"

"I don't _need_ —"

"But you took them anyway. Seems to me there are some inconsistencies here."

"I was curious! Is it really that bad?"

"Well obviously you wanted to enhance something if you felt curious enough to try them in the first place, wouldn't you say that's true?"

"No! Stop putting words in my mouth!" Demyx barked. The man was insulting everything he held dear. He and Zexion's lovemaking wasn't something to be taken so lightly. The Charge in question flexed his jaw and ground his teeth together in an effort to keep himself quiet.

"Then tell me a reason. You took them for what other purpose?" Xemnas persisted.

"…To test them. They're new," the Carrier said hesitantly.

"Oh really? You made them yourself?" the Technician questioned. He knew that Demyx hadn't, that it was another Carrier but he was fueling the flames to see what he could get out of this. The sandy blonde tried to take a moment and think about if he should blame himself, or push it off onto Leon. Xemnas didn't allow him very long to think though. "Come on now, did you or did you not make them yourself?"

"I…"

"Answer me."

"It was my idea," he deflected.

"Ideas are not illegal by any means. What is illegal here, is the waste of resources on something that is unnecessary unless you are indeed unsatisfied with your Charge. If you're unsatisfied and unable to deliver results with this…" Xemnas paused to scroll through his tablet again, searching. "Zexion, then we should find you a new Charge that _can_ get things on the right track."

"No!" Demyx cried. They were not going to take Zexion from him! They couldn't!

"So then if it was only your idea, who was so unsatisfied enough to make them for you? Was there some idle chit chat amongst all of you trying to come up with some way to make your Charges more enticing?"

"No one is unsatisfied!"

"Then why make them in the first place?"

"I was trying to help my friend and my other friend made them for me and they needed someone to test them and that was us," Demyx blurted quickly.

"So your friend is having problems?"

"Well…" the sandy blonde trailed. Axel _did_ ask him for advice, and even though he seemed to be heading in the right direction, Demyx still had legitimate doubts of how well things were going. He had promised to stay out of Axel's love life but he still felt he needed a push. He didn't have the time to put his thoughts together enough to figure out how he should word things delicately before Xemnas pushed him some more.

"Who is this friend?"

"No one," Demyx said quickly. "Don't worry about it."

"Oh but it is my job to worry about it. If someone is having problems, we need to fix them."

"He can handle it."

"You sound unsure."

"Well… I mean…"

"Who is this friend?" Xemnas repeated. "You wanted to help him enough to put yourself at risk as well as this other friend who took the time to make these drugs for you, I can't believe you'd deny him help now."

"You can't help him."

"But I can. If you're not willing to tell me, that's fine. I can find out on my own. You'd save me the headache though." Xemnas looked a bit thoughtful. The report mentioned nothing about a third Carrier involved in this fiasco; only 7x295 and the other one who had made the drugs. This was certainly an interesting development. "Unless of course, you're lying to me to cover up your own inadequacies with your Charge. I can see where the random addition of another friend might be you trying to distract me from the original point here, yes? Does this friend _really_ exist?"

"He does," Demyx said defiantly.

"I doubt it. I see the bigger picture here. I can imagine it. You're standing around with your friend who made the drugs and talking about how you're both unsatisfied with your Charges and wishing for something new and possibly different, is that right?"

"No! Stop it! That's not how it is!"

"Why should I believe you? You've done nothing but show me how much you need a new Charge. You've taken drugs to enhance your ministrations with one another. You even went so far as to solicit another Carrier to help. I've read your reports, 7x295, you and your Charge are hardly what I would consider productive. I think we need a change."

"There are other circumstances that are also reported as to why we're having difficulties! I'm not unsatisfied!" Demyx yelled and slammed his fist on the table. "I was trying to help my friend, damn it! I was just testing them for him!"

"For him? So it was your friend's idea now? Make up your mind, you story is faltering."

"I was testing them for him to use, yes. He didn't know about them, it was going to be a surprise."

"…You were going to drug your friend?" Xemnas asked, raising a brow.

"I…not like you're thinking."

"You were going to give your friend what essentially amounted to a date rape drug, for what purpose? Are you admitting to premeditated rape?"

"No! He was…he…"

"What? Why did he need them?"

"I felt he needed a push," Demyx said quietly and sighed.

"So he _is_ having problems."

"He—"

"Or are you lying again?"

"I'm not lying! He needed a push to get things started with his Charge."

"Get things started? You were going to drug him and let his Charge rape him? How awful."

"No! We didn't know what they were going to do which is why we were testing it before we gave it to him."

"But my understanding is that the human equivalent is essentially the same thing, if it had had an adverse effect and sent you Carriers out of control you could've gone and raped whoever you damn well pleased. If you friend needed _that_ in order to get anything out of his Charge, then we have a serious issue here. Someone needs a switch. If it's you, and you're lying about this friend you need to speak up now before I figure out who he is because obviously he's having a problem. We can't have idle time if it's something as simple as finding a new Charge."

"Wh—No one needs a new anything!"

"But you said your friend needed a push, some help. He's obviously struggling."

"I…you're misinterpreting."

"Dem…" Zexion said warily. He could tell Xemnas was wearing the Carrier down. Neither of them could very well talk their way out of it without someone getting hurt along the line. Axel, Demyx, and Leon were all at risk here. Neither he nor Demyx wanted to hurt anyone but they were being backed into a corner. Xemnas knew too much now and they couldn't get around it.

"Let me ask you this, let's simply things," Xemnas started. "Did you take sex drugs?"

"Yes," Demyx said.

"Did you ask another Carrier to make them?"

"Yes."

"Did you intend on using them on another Carrier?"

"…Yes."

"Is this other Carrier having difficulties?"

"…Yes."

"Do you want to help this Carrier?"

"Yes."

"Who is this Carrier?"

"…He's my friend."

"I understand that. What is his model number?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"You don't know?"

"No, I know it."

"So then why won't you tell me?"

"Because I don't trust you."

"I see. Well, regardless of whether or not you trust me, I still have ways of finding out who this friend is. So either you tell me now, and help my search, or I find out for myself and tack on an extra bit of punishment for you for being a hindrance. Unless you're lying of course, in which case you're being a hindrance anyway."

"I'm not lying."

"So then you'll tell me?"

"No."

"Then I can assume you're lying to save myself the effort of finding this friend. You're having troubles with your Charge, that much is clear already—"

"No! No I'm not!"

"Tell me who this struggling friend is, otherwise I can find you a new Charge to help clear the problem away."

"What?" Demyx gaped. "You can't take Zexion from me!"

"But I can. If you don't actually have a friend that's the cause behind all of this, then you are. And that means you're having issues with your Charge and it needs to be rectified."

"I couldn't just have used the drugs for shits and giggles? You need to make a damn federal case out of it?" the sandy blonde asked snidely.

"But that's not what you told me."

"I—but…"

"I will not lie to the Committee for your sake. _Someone_ is having a problem here. Is it you or your imaginary friend?"

"You can't make me choose between Zexion and Ax—"

"Demyx!" Zexion yelled. Demyx froze with his mouth open and eyes wide.

"Oh so he _does_ exist. Interesting. Well, that's all the confirmation I need. I will find him myself if you don't want to tell me."

"…Oh god," Demyx groaned and held his face in his hands. Zexion sighed and rubbed his brows. Xemnas was thrilled. This was more than he could have hoped for. Today was turning out to be a wonderful day.

"Now, it's clear you didn't make the drugs yourself so you saved yourself the hassle of being accused of wasting resources. You have however, used them, and in your fit proposed sexual intercourse to a human being, as well as failing to appear for inspection. Obviously the inspection is minor, but the real punishment will be for the sexual harassment. Do you understand?"

"…Yes," the sandy blonde sighed quietly.

"In addition to that, the hindrance to my investigation will be tacked on as well, unless you want to avoid that and tell me your friend's model number."

"What is my punishment so far?"

"A month's quarantine, followed by two weeks of service at the canine facility," Xemnas said flatly with a smirk curling onto his lips when the color fell from Demyx's face. 'Service' was what amounted to indentured servitude. Demyx would have to work in the canine facility's cafeteria, clean, and look after any canine pups as he was needed. The biggest problem was not so much the work, but that he would have to live there for the duration of his sentence. That would mean six weeks of no Zexion for Demyx. The Charge wasn't thrilled either and gaped at Xemnas.

"W-what?" the sandy blonde stammered. He couldn't be away from Zexion that long. That was unfair!

"Did you want to add another week at the canine facility? Tell me your friend's model number and you can avoid it," Xemnas said coldly. Demyx looked at Zexion and the hurt was obvious in both their expressions. It didn't matter if they told Xemnas or not, it wouldn't save Axel.

"…4x31," Demyx said quietly. Xemnas' lips parted into a maniacal grin and he scrolled through his tablet to make a note. Excellent. 7x295 was about as gullible as they came. Xemnas had no real way of figuring out it was Axel short of beating it out of someone else or asking around. He doubted this 4x31 would jump out and scream 'here I am!' for him.

"Fantastic. Thank you for cooperating," he said with a smile. It was obvious to him that 7x295's weakness was his Charge. More often than not, threatening a Carrier's Charge was a good way to get them to do anything one wanted them to do with little conflict. "Your punishment will begin tomorrow; savor the time you have together."

"Wait," Zexion said. Xemnas quirked a brow. "We have something to show you."

"Oh? Does it change the fact that your Carrier used drugs and sexually harassed my colleague?"

"Well…"

"No, it doesn't. If there's something to report, then make a proper note of it and submit it to the Committee like you normally would. I don't negotiate."

"Bu—"

"Enough. I'm finished here. I have some new matters I need to attend to," Xemnas said and left quickly before he could hear anymore protests. He had a new target to interrogate and hopefully, this 4x31 would be just as sweet.

Demyx stared into his hands, his world crashing down around him. He was going to be separated from Zexion for six weeks and there was nothing he could do about it. Not only that but four of those weeks he'd be by himself and wallowing in his own self pity. His project would come to standstill if his samples degraded before Zexion could use them quick enough. He would miss another six weeks of their 'peanut's' development as well. It was awful. Granted, it was temporary but at that moment it had felt like someone had stabbed him through the chest.

"Dem…" Zexion trailed, feeling just as hurt. The Carrier blinked a few times and took a breath, some of his concern switching to something a little more immediate.

"I wonder how much Axel will yell at me this time."


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

"So then I said, 'you know, I bet Leon and Cloud would know' and Demyx was like 'I'm sure they do, let's go ask them!' So we're walking along together to Leon's room since they didn't have their house back then, and when we get there Demyx, being as stupid as he is, kicks the door open without even knocking. Now…the door was locked," Axel said and started to chuckle, "and it was locked for a _reason_."

"Oh fuck," Roxas said, a grin spreading across his face.

"Roxas, the look of _shock_ followed by the amount of _anger_ that was on Leon's face was just about the most hilarious thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Not only did Demyx snap the doorknob and break the doorframe, but…" he trailed and started to laugh, "he totally barged in _right in the middle of them having sex_ and …and…" the redhead stopped to try and gather his thoughts through his giggles. "it was _right when Cloud finished_ so we see this huge like… _jet stream_ come from him and…" the laughter was making it hard to breathe and Axel held his sides and crouched over the exam table until his forehead rested on the top.

"Oh my _god_ ," the blonde said and followed suit, holding an arm over his ribs and a hand to his face.

"And then he says 'holy shit Cloud you're a fucking _fire hose_!' I lost it and I almost pissed myself," Axel choked out and that added tidbit turned the laughter into a series of hoarse squeaks as the noises fought for control of his airway. Roxas was almost in tears and held onto the exam table for stability.

"What did Leon do?" the blonde asked once he could breathe. Axel took a few minutes to get himself together and stood again, cheeks rosy.

"He was obviously about to kill something and I was just so glad it wasn't me. He was completely distracted by us and he just _rips_ himself out of Cloud, stomps over, grabs Demyx by the neck, and _punches_ him right in the mouth. I didn't even feel bad for him but man; he hit Demyx so hard it gave him a nosebleed even though he wasn't hit in the nose."

"Holy shit, did he lose any teeth?"

"No, but he should have. It's really hard to knock our teeth out. Not impossible, but a punch isn't going to do it even if it's from another Carrier. Now hang on, I'm not finished," Axel said and waved a hand. Roxas leaned on the exam table, looking up at him and waiting with an overly amused grin. "So, by that point Cloud is up and by the time he gets to the door he already has his underwear on but he still has a giant line of jizz on his stomach and I couldn't help it. I looked at him and just busted up again. He gives me this look like he's going to kill me and I book it. I start running."

" _Nice_ Axel, way to hang in there for your friend."

"Hey! Demyx deserved whatever he got. I just wanted to ask them a fucking question and he took it upon himself to disrupt everything. That's why we don't usually let him knock when we go places because he _doesn't_. Anyway, so I get a few doors down and think I'm cool to stop and I turn around _just as the doorknob was about to hit me_ and BAM. Right in my face," Axel said and started to laugh again. Roxas snorted and joined him.

"Did you get a nosebleed too?"

"I did. And a black eye."

" _Nice_."

"Cloud has awesome aim."

"Wow, you guys are awful. What happened then?"

"Well Demyx was really upset that he was hit and tried to get all pissy with Leon about it but Leon wasn't hearing any of it and kicked him in the stomach to get him to stop talking. Then he and Cloud went back into the room and jammed the door shut onto itself. I went to see if Demyx was okay and I could hear the shower start and I guess they finished in there or whatever. We didn't talk to them for a week. We never did get our question answered," the redhead said and grinned.

"What was the question?"

"It was so many years ago I don't even remember by this point. All I can see when I think of that story was the huge line of jizz on Cloud's stomach. He had to have set a record with that one, you had to see it."

"Eh… I think I'm good. I don't think such a view is worth a black eye."

"Oh but it was. I really was."

"You guys are stupid."

"Demyx is stupid. I was just an innocent bystander."

"Sure you were. Between things like this and stealing wolf puppies, I highly doubt your innocence," the blonde grinned. Axel shrugged.

"Think what you want, I didn't bust the door in."

"That's really funny though. Demyx broke the door with one kick?"

"Yeah, they're aluminum. It's easy."

"I can't do that shit."

"Because you have wimpy human legs."

"Hey now…"

"Very nice wimpy human legs."

"Okay," the blonde huffed.

Suddenly, the giddy atmosphere was interrupted when the lab doors flew open and a stone faced Xemnas strode in like he owned the place. Which, in a quasi roundabout way, he did; but it was still an abrupt intrusion. Axel's eyes narrowed on the man as he strode across the room with a wide confident gait to the Catalogue terminal. Roxas furrowed his brows together and glared at him. Xemnas ignored them both and plugged his tablet into the terminal and began to pull up reports specific to their lab dating back several weeks.

"What the fuck do you want?" the redhead spat and the Technician stopped working, turned, and looked him over.

"I'm working, unlike you. I thought your number sounded familiar, you're the savage from the last conference," Xemnas said.

"Yeah. I am. Get the fuck out of here, there's nothing for you."

"Quite the contrary, there is enough here for me to do whatever the hell I damn well please. It has been brought to my attention that you are having difficulties with your Charge."

"Difficulties? What difficulties?" the redhead asked, his acidic stare attempting to bore a hole through the Technician's forehead.

"We're fine," Roxas added. Xemnas' eyes flicked to him briefly before locking with Axel's again, unfazed.

"Your friend told me you weren't though, are you telling me 7x295 is a liar? Because he just made a convincing argument to me that you two were unsatisfied with each other and needed sex drugs to get things off the ground. Is this untrue? Because if it is, I need to get back to your friend and amend my punishment for him."

"Wh—Demyx? He told you about the drugs and me?" Axel asked. Roxas shook his head.

"We're fine," he repeated.

"Be quiet, Charge. Obviously the only one of you who is speaking the truth is your Carrier since he seems to agree with 7x295," Xemnas ordered and looked to Roxas again before turning back to the redhead. "Is this true? Was your friend going to give you sex drugs?"

"…He was, yeah. But I didn't ask him for them."

"So you admit you are having an issue."

"No, I'm admitting that Demyx gets over zealous with things and takes it upon himself to fix imaginary problems."

"He was quite reluctant to tell me your model number. He obviously feels that there is a serious issue I cannot help with if he risked his Charge to keep you from me, wouldn't you agree? Are you telling me he is a liar?"

"Wait, what? What were you going to do to Zexion?" the redhead asked, growing annoyed quickly.

"That is none of your business. Just be aware that if you counter his story with another that is more convincing, he may not be able to keep his Charge. The entire basis of his story was about how _you_ were the one having issues and if that proves to be a lie, then I have to assume that it's _him_."

"Wait wait," Roxas interjected. Xemnas turned to him.

"Be quiet," the man ordered again.

"Fuck you, you're not my mother," the blonde said and glared.

"I have possession over you as if I was. So be quiet."

"No you fucking don't," Axel snarled and cleared the distance between them and glared down at the man. Their heights were close, but Axel was obviously taller.

"Give me reason to punish you further, I dare you," Xemnas said coolly, looking up directly into the Carrier's eyes.

"Axel," Roxas said flatly and the redhead hesitated before looking to him. "Just leave it, it's not worth it," he said and Axel looked back to Xemnas before stepping back a step, eyes livid.

"Now, are you telling me that 7x295 is a liar? You aren't having any issues at all?" the man continued.

"Not with Roxas, no," Axel growled, his restraint stretching thin.

"But you are having a problem otherwise? Either way, believe it or not, I can help you. If 7x295 is lying then I need to amend his punishment before we continue though."

"…What is his punishment?"

"That's of no concern to you. If you had no involvement with the drugs then it was all on him, yes?"

"To a certain extent, yes. But he wasn—"

"That's all I need to hear. Excuse me," Xemnas said and calmly and took his things and headed for the doors. Axel pushed his brows together and looked to Roxas.

"Is Demyx going to lose Zexion?" he asked.

"I don't know, it's what it sounded like though," the blonde said.

"I can't let him do that, come on," the redhead said and took his Charge's hand and they both jogged out of the lab. Xemnas was already a good distance down the hall and they followed after him. Once back to Demyx and Zexion's lab, the man burst through the doors with Axel and Roxas on his heels.

"Liar!" Xemnas called and Demyx shot up from his chair, eyes wide.

"No I'm not! What makes you think I am?" the sandy blonde yelled back.

"4x31 said he had no involvement. Your attempts to distract me from my original purpose here have gone on long enough and I'm at the limit of my patience with you, 7x295," Xemnas growled, pulling out his stylus and stabbing at his tablet.

"What are you doing?" Demyx asked, going to the man's side and attempting to look at the screen.

"You obviously need a new Charge. One who can satisfy you and can keep you from using drugs and propositioning others for sex and throwing lies around to cover your tracks," the man sneered.

"No!" Demyx cried.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Hold the fuck up," Axel blurted and dropped Roxas' hand and stomped across the room to Xemnas. He yanked the stylus from the man's hand and snapped it in half quickly and tossed it over his shoulder. "There is no way this bullshit is that horrible of a crime that you need to switch people's Charges around. No fucking way, jackhole."

"Oh but it is," Xemnas said calmly and used his finger to scroll through his tablet instead. Zexion was on his feet and hurried over to Demyx, taking his arm and pulling him away quietly. The Carrier whirled on him and hugged his Charge to his chest protectively.

"This is fucking insane," the sandy blonde said sadly.

"You mean to tell me that using sex drugs isn't insane? That you need to use them with your Charge, someone who is supposed to be _molecularly compatible_ with you, in order to gain any sort of satisfaction from them? The entire basis of your project is surrounded by the need of genetic material and if you can't gain it from him without some sort of enhancement then there is _obviously_ a serious problem here," Xemnas said. "Don't you get how enormous of a problem this is and how easily it can be fixed with finding you someone else who can satisfy you?"

"I am satisfied! I'm happy! Really!" Demyx insisted, his voice sounding anything but.

"The whole point to making them in the first place was to 'help' me in Demyx's own weird way, for starters," Axel said. "They were testing them to use on me, so they didn't _need_ to use them in the first place, secondly. And thirdly, you're a fucking prick and I don't like you."

"Oh so you admit to having a problem now?" Xemnas asked, looking the redhead over.

"I—you…You're twisting my words. No one is having a problem," Axel said.

"So then, why were the drugs made in the first place?" Xemnas asked.

"Because I'm a fucking idiot alright?" Demyx yelled. "I made a god damn mistake and I already fucking apologized. You gave me my punishment and I deserve it but it's overkill if you try to take Zexion from me."

"…So you've wasted my time, is that what you're telling me?" Xemnas asked icily. His eyes narrowed and he turned to Demyx fully.

"…Yeah," the Carrier said carefully.

"Oh my…" the man trailed and ran his fingers through his hair. He sighed. "Well who wants to pay for it?" he asked calmly, looking at everyone present.

"Pay for what?" Axel asked, furrowing his brows.

"Pay for wasting my time, of course. I could have been home by now. Unless of course you all are going to agree on a story that can make everyone happy with only minimal punishment."

"That's fucking stupid, no one cares about your time," Roxas blurted. Xemnas quirked a brow and looked to him.

"My time is very valuable. I came here for a reason, and apparently since it was all a farce aside from what 7x295 is already being punished for, it was a waste. I don't like waste, especially if it's something that's irreplaceable."

"So what? You're already as old as fucking space rocks, what's another hour?" the blonde asked.

"Apparently you don't listen very well. I. Don't. Like. Waste," the man said and glowered at the young Charge. "I can assume you're volunteering for the punishment then?"

"Well what is it? Do I have to wash your car or something?" Roxas asked.

"Roxas…" Axel trailed, giving him a wary eye. The blonde waved a dismissive hand.

"He has no right to do this shit but since I can't do anything to stop it, I may as well take it, right? What's the worst he can do?"

"I was going to suggest quarantine, but if you're looking for something more, I'm sure that can be arranged," Xemnas said coolly. The redhead's eyes widened.

"Quarantine? For something stupid that doesn't even involve him? No. No fucking way. You can't do that," Axel said angrily. Zexion looked thoughtful for a minute before pulling away from Demyx and heading to the Catalogue terminal. He started to work quickly.

"I take my punishments very seriously, 4x31. If there is a problem somewhere, I need to fix it. Since you all deny there was a problem in the first place, I have no choice but to address the new one. A false report, which resulted in idle time for me. A waste. It's a problem and it needs to be rectified. Unless you've perfected time travel and can replace it all for me, I'm sorry to say someone will have to pay for it. Your Charge has volunteered and I think that's fine."

"Before you discount what we've all been doing as a waste, I want you to look at my report," Zexion called over his shoulder from the Catalogue.

"I told you to subm—"

"Yeah yeah I heard you the first three times," the Charge talked over him. "I don't really care though, you need to see this." Demyx raised a brow at his lover. Zexion hardly ever talked back to authority figures. He smiled, he thought it was cute.

"No one is getting away from punishment. I don't negotiate," Xemnas said but went to Zexion's side to see what he was doing anyway.

"Roxas," Axel said and went to the blonde. He leaned in close to whisper in his ear, "you don't know what you're doing. Don't make it worse for yourself."

"Well how else are we going to keep him from going back to trying to take Zexion from Demyx? If we tell him we were lying about lying then he'll just push the issue again. He's obviously not going to leave until someone does something he wants. I may not like it but it's not going to kill me."

"I…I don't want you to leave me," the redhead said worriedly. "If you go into quarantine, we won't see each other for a while."

"How long is 'a while'?"

"I don't know, but I don't want it."

"But who else will do it? If you go, it's the same thing. Zexion and Demyx aren't volunteering anything so we're the only ones left," Roxas said quietly. Xemnas was scrolling through his tablet again looking thoughtful, as Zexion stood off to the side looking proud of himself.

"No…" Axel said, expression drooping. He pulled Roxas to him for a tight hug and laid his cheek against the blonde spikes. "I don't want you to leave," he said.

"I doubt it'd be for very long," the blonde said and hugged him back.

"But—"

"You're better at using the equipment than I am. You'd be able to get more done than me anyway so it'd better if I go. I don't want to leave either but if it's our only option, then why make him angrier and make it worse?"

"I hate that you're so stubborn sometimes," Axel huffed.

"Change of plans," Xemnas said, eyes still glued to his tablet. "I can see we have some remarkable results with these drugs here. Regardless of what the back story is I can't deny that this is something to pursue."

"Zexion!" Demyx squealed happily and ran to his lover and plowed into him, squeezing him tight. The Charge grunted loudly against the force but smiled. Axel and Roxas pulled apart to pay attention. Xemnas looked at Demyx and Zexion briefly before sighing and shaking his head a bit and looking back to his tablet.

"No one is getting out of their punishment or alleviating it any so I don't understand why you're so happy. Be that as it may, I will delay the time I come to take you both. 7x295 and 4x31's Charge, I will be back for you and the third party involved in all this later in the week. 9x8b, correct?" he asked to no one in particular and poked at the tablet. "Ansem was lenient on 9x8b but I'm not so gentle. I need time to look into this but like I said, I'll be back for you both," he continued.

"It's not even worth a little leniency?" Demyx asked, mouth agape.

"I have no proof it's worthy of making me change my mind," Xemnas said flatly.

"Bu—"

"Enough. I'm finished here," the man said and held up a hand. He headed for the door but stopped when he reached Axel and Roxas. He leered at the blonde, "two weeks," he said and the redhead's mouth dropped open. Xemnas pointed a finger in his face, "that stylus is coming out of your allowances," he said and stormed out.

"Two weeks? What the hell?" Axel screamed after him, but the Technician was already gone. The redhead gaped at the doors, and Roxas stared forward into space with wide eyes.

"That's hardly fair!" Demyx cried.

"I'm sorry… I wish I could have done more," Zexion said and rubbed the back of his neck. Demyx looked to him and kissed his temple.

"At least he isn't trying to separate us anymore," the Carrier said and his Charge nodded. The sandy blonde broke away from Zexion and made his way to Roxas, sweeping the blonde up in a tight hug. "Thank you for doing that, Roxas."

"Uh… yeah…sure," the blonde trailed. "W-what was your punishment?" he asked and Demyx set him down.

"A month's quarantine and two weeks at the canine facility being their bitch," the Carrier said. "But at least I can come back and have my Zexion still, so I'm grateful."

"This fucking blows," Axel growled and kicked at the air.

"I know it does, I'm sorry I even said anything. I really wish we could just flip a switch and go back a few days. It's all my fault," the sandy blonde said. The redhead raked his fingers through his hair grumpily.

"I know it is. I agree. But I've already said my peace and we can't change anything about it," Axel said dryly.

"Thanks for… not killing me," Demyx said sheepishly.

"Yet," Axel added. The sandy blonde nodded.

* * *

Xemnas was overjoyed with the results of his little excursion. He was fully aware of the sex drug industry that floated around the underlings of human society and he knew none of it was illegal. The findings of 7x295's Charge, Zexion, had piqued his interest in their potential for Carrier use and the possible mass production they held. He was overly curious about the human aspect behind it all as well. Somewhere in Ansem's database would be 9x8b's process of making the drugs into suitable Carrier doses. Xemnas could easily replicate it and dole out his own pills in order to test them thoroughly and confirm the unknowns. He could possibly even tweak them for his own specific purposes. He was delighted with the possibilities and in less than a week he would have the perfect test subjects.

* * *

At Leon's request, Cloud had waited until after his Tube Day to pursue any sort of drug filled day of debauchery. The Charge was very professional about everything and had taken the extra lengths of bringing home several sample canisters for them to gather as much material as they could for accurate tests later. Not that he would openly admit it to anyone, but after a day of thinking about it in a non-practical way, he wasn't as excited as he first was. Using the drugs like this wasn't lovemaking it was… work. It was all for work. He had mixed feelings. If things turned out as everyone hoped they were going to, they could recoup their losses and get the project back on track quickly. If not, then what? What would they have accomplished? Beating the shit out of Leon's pride, that's what. He wasn't sure he wanted that just for the sake of work. Beating the shit out of Leon's pride but having the love afterwards was what he was okay with. But, he was committed and at the very least, he would have something to occupy himself with while Leon was in quarantine so there would be _some_ positives.

"Did you want to have a go without them first?" the blonde offered and pulled up a blank report template on his tablet to fill in as they went along. Leon pulled his shirt over his head and shook his hair back into place.

"With who being who's bitch?" the Carrier grumped.

"I'll fight you for it," Cloud said with a smirk.

"I win."

"You discount my abilities so easily."

"Can't blame me for being truthful."

"I know, but we should probably do a control."

"I can just jerk off for that, I don't think so."

"You're no fun."

"I'm already upset with myself as it is; I don't need any more kicks to my balls thank you very much. If you won't let me have you then I just want to get this over with," Leon huffed and pushed himself onto the bed unclothed. Cloud started to pull off his clothing as well. "Remind me again why we have black bed linens?" the Carrier asked, picking at a thread on their glossy raven comforter.

"Because we're gluttons for punishment on laundry day, that's why," the blonde chuckled. Once undressed, he poked at his watch and switched it over from showing the time and date to a stopwatch and a counter. How long the drugs took to take effect and how many times Leon would release were important factors in this and Cloud was hell bent on making the latter statistic extremely high. Leon scooted across the bed and took up the pill bottle from off of the side table, cursing himself and his curious mind. What was that about curiosity killing cats?

"Ah yes. That would be why," Leon agreed. He twisted the cap off the bottle and dug out a pill before capping it again and setting it down again. The blonde shuffled under the covers and reclined back against the pillows, waiting. The Carrier eyed the tiny capsule for a moment before flicking his gaze to Cloud then back to the pill again. He took a breath before shoving the drug into his mouth and swallowing quickly.

"Don't want any water with that?" the Charge asked, quirking a brow. Leon shrugged.

"I'm a big boy; I know how to take my vitamins."

"I see," Cloud added and started the stopwatch. Leon shuffled himself under the blankets as well and lay on his side, staring at the curve of Cloud's torso. The Charge looked over at the side table and checked to see if everything was there that they might need. Lube, tissues, a specimen canister, a couple bottles of water, and his tablet. Good to go. Apparently bedroom science was less extensive than lab science and he was okay with that. There wasn't supposed to be any science in the bedroom to begin with so if there _had_ to be some, at least it was basic. He looked down at Leon. The Carrier stared ahead of himself blankly, waiting. He really wasn't enjoying this in the least.

Without saying a word, the blonde reached over and idly combed his fingers through the russet hair. Leon didn't move, but closed his eyes. There really was a lot of fodder to fuel any teasing flames Cloud might have wanted to ignite but seeing how placid his lover was about the ordeal wasn't exactly making it carnival for him either. He didn't have to ask to know what Leon was thinking about. The thought process was relatively simple.

_I have to convince myself that Cloud isn't my subordinate, and that this is okay._

Leon had a hard time thinking in equals whenever there was an issue that involved him personally. He was always the more mature thinker in many groups and therefore the responsibility of guidance and leadership was a natural thing for him. His Totem had a lot to do with his stubbornness with pride and dominance as well. His instinct to conquer over everything in his path was exceptionally strong, and would often win over his obstacles by the sheer power of will. The situation he was in now could completely blow all of that out of the water.

The biggest thing though, was that it was a safe environment to do it in. He just had to work on remembering that he wasn't going to embarrass himself or make himself look weak because he was with Cloud. His Charge understood him and even though they picked at each other in degrading ways, they both knew there was a time and a place for it. Cloud wasn't immature enough to bring any of it up in the heat of the moment. Tomorrow, maybe. But not in front of anyone else. This was not an environment for any of that. Leon was aware of that. It was still difficult though.

"How long?" he asked, eyes closed still. He started to drum his fingers on the mattress impatiently. Cloud looked at his watch.

"Six minutes. Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Demyx never told us how long it took. You said they were quick release though, right?"

"Up until ten minutes, yes."

"Ah. Okay. Damn, aspirin works faster than that."

"Figured it gave whoever took it time to vomit it back up if they needed to."

"How thoughtful."

"I try," Leon said and chuckled.

"You didn't switch them all out for placebos while I wasn't looking did you?"

"While that is a wonderful idea, I did not."

"Good."

"Don't sound so disappointed."

"I would have been if you had switched them."

"You're such a child sometimes."

"I'm not so sure children have desires like I do. If any of them do, their parents need to be shot. That's deplorable."

"I can't argue with that," Leon said and shivered. Cloud pulled his hand from the Carrier's hair and watched him closely. Leon pushed himself up and blinked a few times. "Well that feels weird."

"Oh?" the Charge asked and stopped the stopwatch. He leaned over to the table for his tablet and made a note. "Do tell," he continued, stylus at the ready.

"My skin feels like it's on fire. But not a bad fire…just…" he trailed and a harsh shudder rolled through him. He held his forehead with one palm and stared at his pillow. Cloud quirked a brow as Leon's irises started to involuntarily shift colors, slowly. A flicker, and they were green. Then yellow. Then blue again. The Charge quickly started to jot down what he was watching. Leon's skin flushed a light pink and he furrowed his brows together, trying to concentrate against the huge desire to begin masturbating. He cleared his throat a few times, trying to keep the needs down. He looked to Cloud and saw the blonde was busy writing away. Leon suddenly hated the action and simply moved a few feet closer and stole the stylus from his Charge and tossed it over his shoulder. The blonde raised a brow and set the tablet aside.

They shared a moment of silent eye contact. Cloud couldn't decide if the prismatic display rushing through his lover's eyes was beautiful or off-putting. Could it be both? Possibly. He could tell Leon was struggling though. He was tense and unmoving, almost like he didn't trust himself to even breathe steadily. His entire body was flushed with color and his erection was almost painfully obvious, telling Cloud that yes, the drugs were working the way they were supposed to. If it wasn't chemically induced, the Charge would've been able to appreciate it more. But it was. It was horribly synthetic. He didn't dwell on the idea though and could remember what Zexion had said about Demyx's reaction to any sort of apparent rejection.

It was nice to feel needed. Of course, Leon always needed him and Cloud was aware of that but this was on a completely different dynamic. Sure, he would've liked it more if it wasn't forced but when he held out a hand to his lover and took in the look of absolute relief that washed over Leon; he couldn't help but feel a little joy. The Carrier was quick to come to him and press them together. His kiss was so insistent, so needy, that when Cloud pushed him away to breathe, he hadn't realized that his elongated canine teeth had cut him in the process. The Charge wiped at his lip and scowled at his hand as it came away smeared with blood. It wasn't the best way to start things off, but he didn't hold it against Leon.

To anyone else, their bedroom manners may have looked incredibly stale. To the pair involved though, (mostly Cloud this time around since he was the most lucid) it was always an incredible time. They rarely ever spoke to each other during. Neither of them were very vocal and preferred to listen to the other's breathing in order to gain any confirmation in their actions. More. Less. Faster. Or not so much. Everything could be understood through the open air between them without any sort of utterance. If one needed to shift to a better angle, or was being pushed the wrong way, a simple touch, a graze of a fingertip to the other party was enough to send the right signal. It had taken decades to become so in tune with one another and it was made everything just so much more special simply because they were the only ones that understood it. To a captive audience, Leon and Cloud would make the most boring porn video in the world, but unless the audience could participate, they would never understand the amount of passion they had. Of course, no one else was _ever_ invited.

Even in Leon's drug induced state, the atmosphere was just about what it always was. There was more insistence, more rushing, and Cloud had hardly enough time to lube himself before the Carrier impaled himself on him, but once they started Leon still reacted to all the right signs. The realization was a relief for the blonde. So long as the Carrier was getting what he wanted, they could do things their way. Once they stopped, Leon was right in the Cloud's face silently demanding more with his touches. It was a sort of awkward stubborn submissiveness. Yes, Leon was on the bottom technically, but the persistence to continue was constant even seconds after they had finished again. Naturally after a while, it was growing difficult for Cloud to finish and he was starting to keep going simply to keep Leon occupied, not because he could feel anything. After two hours, the half dozen sample canisters he had brought home were all occupied and they had no where to put anything else.

Cloud had a problem. He was starting to tire out by about hour four. Their bed was disgusting and he couldn't feel the lower half of his body very well. He was considering locking Leon in the bathroom to jerk away all his frustrations until the drugs wore off. He needed to come up with a plan. There wasn't a whole lot he could do to keep going and Leon's insistence was wearing on him. He had forced Leon to back off for a minute by keeping him at a distance with a foot on his chest. He was in the middle of some deep thought when it hit him. Or stroked him, because it was Leon that gave him the discovery.

The Carrier had taken his foot and was quietly petting his skin like it was made of the finest silk. Cloud watched him for a moment, trying to figure out what the fascination was. The Carrier gradually moved up his leg, making sure to keep as much contact with the limb as possible until he had made it to the blonde's chest. Cloud had expected him to touch his tired member in some way but he didn't and instead opted to spread himself over the blonde's chest and rub against his skin. Leon eventually got so enamored with the feelings of his Charge against him that he was able to reach climax again, surprising not only himself, but Cloud as well.

This confused the blonde to no end but he figured a couple hours of petting was better than total genital dysfunction due to overuse. His decision to pursue his hypothesis was very awkward for him though. Leon hardly ever cuddled. They weren't ones to sit around and hug on each other unless they were sharing something like a tragedy where they both needed it. At times like those though the rest of the family was usually involved and it was hardly ever so intimate because of that. Cloud knew how to hug. He barely knew how to cuddle. This was different.

To Leon though, all contact was exquisite. Sex was best as far as quickly reliving himself but he could feel just as satisfied with feeling the skin on skin contact with his Charge. He had taken to straddling Cloud while the blonde sat propped up against the wall. He closed his eyes and simply let his lover touch him. Cloud ran his hands over every inch of Leon's skin, leaving no nerve untouched. He watched the Carrier's expression slacken a bit as he reveled in the sensations. They sent hundreds of thrills up Leon's spine, making him feel like millions of feathers were running under his skin at once. The feelings would stack on one another as his pleasure grew and before he could fully understand what was happening, he grabbed Cloud's wrists in the intense undulations and climaxed again, gritting his teeth against a loud groan and panting afterward with the effort.

Leon held onto his Charge's hands with limp fingers, trying to catch his breath; his eyes squeezed shut. Cloud was surprised. That was the most vocal Leon had been in a while. The Carrier's body gave another shudder and when Leon opened his eyes again, they had stopped shifting colors and were back to their normal deep sapphire. He panted lightly; blearily looking at Cloud's stunned face. The blonde was speechless. Before he had very much time to contemplate what had happened and why the drugs had apparently worn off, Leon's eyes rolled back into his head and he slumped forward heavily onto his chest. Cloud startled and pushed up on his lover's shoulders, trying to see his face.

Leon was unresponsive. Cloud's heart dropped into his stomach and he pushed the Carrier off of him and laid him flat on the bed, ignoring the mess. He wasn't ready to panic too much just yet because his watch wasn't going off and warning him of anything important but it was still unsettling.

"Squall?" the blonde asked quietly and he pushed the Carrier's face around and gently slapped his cheek. "Asshole, this isn't funny," he grumbled. Leon was breathing, but quiet. It almost looked like he was sleeping but Cloud knew that wasn't his sleeping face. He was legitimately unconscious. The blonde felt the pulse in Leon's wrist. Normal. In his neck. Normal. He put his ear to his chest. Breathing okay. Nothing seemed to be life threatening and his watch would be annoying him if there was something wrong neurologically, but everything was fine. Cloud sighed. There wasn't much he could do. He looked his lover over a few more times before curling his legs under himself…

…And waiting.


	35. Chapter 35

 

**Chapter 35**

Things were quiet. That is, after Cloud had managed to clean up a bit. Leon wasn't very heavy, but being unconscious and not supporting himself didn't help when the blonde decided they both needed a shower. Not only were they both completely disgusting but he hoped the water would wake the Carrier up so they could get to discussing what the fuck had happened. It didn't. It took him an hour of mostly sitting on the floor, but Cloud had managed to get them both clean. Before the shower, he had stripped the bed and tossed an extra blanket over it just so he wouldn't immediately undo his efforts when he deposited his lover back on the mattress.

He didn't understand what was happening. Leon wasn't having any issues breathing or losing control of anything else that would keep him from waking up and yet he was out. It had been two hours and the blonde knew Leon couldn't keep the charade up that long, if that's what it was. He was worried, but not worried for the Carrier's life just yet. Nothing life threatening was happening and if Cloud hadn't been around Leon for so long and knew all his tiny quirks and ways of doing things, he would've swore that the Carrier was sleeping. Leon wasn't sleeping though.

After another short while of watching and waiting, Cloud was beginning to drift in and out of partial consciousness himself. He was exhausted. He couldn't let himself sleep though and decided to get to the heart of the matter and pulled Leon across the bed before going to the Catalogue terminal. He pulled the Link chord as long as he could get it to go and grumbled angrily at it when it wasn't long enough. Instead of tossing Leon on the floor in a closer spot he decided to kick the side table out of the way and drag the entire bed frame across the floor. Only then was he able to wiggle a finger in between the Carrier's teeth and pry his mouth open to plug into his Link.

"Fucking ridiculous," he muttered to himself and plopped into the chair at the terminal. His fingers made quick work of the interface and he got to work, attempting to figure out what was keeping his lover away.

* * *

Roxas was figuring out new things every day about Axel. Apparently when the redhead was legitimately sad and upset about something, he got horribly clingy. It would have been funny had it been anyone else, but the blonde wasn't enjoying all the hanging his Carrier did. He was afraid of yelling at the redhead though because really, he was upset for an okay reason. The extra attention was a little stifling, but understandable. He could deal with it well enough. Or so he hoped.

"Axel, you're heavy," the blonde said flatly as his fingers paused above the Catalogue keyboard. Axel had deposited himself over Roxas' back and was using the back of the chair as well as the blonde's small frame to support himself. The redhead sighed sadly and hung limply.

"I know, I need to knock off the cupcakes," he said blandly. Roxas snorted a little.

"Fatass."

"I know…I know… I can't help it. I eat when I'm sad."

"And you hang on me like I'm going to dissolve away," the blonde added.

"But…two weeks!" Axel cried and picked up his arms just enough to drape them over Roxas as well and rub his face into the blonde's hair.

"Two weeks of me sitting on my ass being bored versus destroying someone else's life. You know Xemnas would've finagled some way of getting Zexion away from Demyx had I not said anything. I'm actually not all that worried about it."

"It was very noble of you, I agree. But…two weeks!"

"Temporary two weeks."

"I know…"

"Demyx has six, technically. I feel bad for him."

"Leon only has a week and a half, lucky bastard."

"Ansem dealt with him though, so it's to be expected. As much as I may not like him, he is the lesser of the evils, just like everyone says he is," Roxas said and Axel nodded.

"He is," the redhead agreed and wrapped his arms around his Charge. He picked his face up and rested his chin on Roxas' head. The blonde was cruising around in the Charge Forum again.

"Did you really eat a bunch of cupcakes or were you trying to be funny? I didn't catch the sarcasm," the blonde asked randomly.

"I would be barfing all over you had I actually done it, so no. But I did eat far more than I should have at dinner. I feel kind of blimpy."

"Okay good. I couldn't tell. What non-meat products _can_ you eat?"

"Nothing exciting. I can eat most anything and keep it down outside of sweets but they give me awful heartburn. Breads and simple grains are fine, some milk products, milk itself is pretty good. I'm not sure what else because I never really forced myself to try a whole lot."

"I see," Roxas said and rubbed the arms that were around his chest. Axel in turn laid his cheek against the blonde's hair again.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

"Reading."

"I see that, what are you reading specifically?"

"A forum where Charges from all over go to talk about shit and stuff."

"Shit and stuff? Are those technical terms?"

"Yes."

"Ah, well I'm glad it's halfway intelligent."

"It is actually. There's a section for Charges to talk about Technicians and inside there is another place to talk about Technician punishments. I was reading up on quarantines."

"Oh. Well I could've told you about it. I've had them before."

"Yeah? How long?"

"Only a couple days at a time. It was kind of useless because I didn't have a Charge to miss or anything so they weren't as bad as they should have been."

"…You didn't miss Demyx or Riku? Or Leon?"

"I did, sort of. Not like I'm going to miss you, though," Axel said and gave the blonde and extra squeeze.

"Oh, well thanks," Roxas said and smirked. He didn't know why it bothered him that Axel wouldn't miss his friends as much, but it did. He thought that spending so many years together with the other Carriers would make their bonds a little stronger, but apparently it didn't. Were Charges that important to Carriers?

"You're quite welcome."

"So what's it like?"

"Well, from what I hear they changed some things around in the last twenty years or so but when I went there, they basically threw you in a room and said 'sit' and that's what you did. They'd let you out into the cafeteria for an hour to feed you, but there was nothing else to do aside from sit and sleep otherwise. There was a bathroom of course and a bed, but nothing else."

"Like a prison cell?"

"Like a prison cell."

"Well that sounds exciting. It's a closed room though; no bars?"

"Yeah, with a heavy door and no windows so you can't talk to anyone."

"I was more concerned about people watching me shit."

"Nice priorities," Axel chuckled.

"What can I say? I doubt I'll be around anyone I know, so why worry about making friends I'll most likely never see again?"

"True. You go ahead and hang onto that mentality; it might just keep you sane."

* * *

Cloud yawned and looked at his watch. It was almost lunch time of the next day and he still couldn't figure out what was wrong with Leon. He had tried to contact Ansem, but the man was still not home and wasn't answering. He sent out a bulletin to any other Technicians in the area with non specific details but he wasn't getting anywhere. He was worried. But Leon was still alive so he couldn't get too carried away. He was beginning to blame himself though. If he had just let the idea of testing the drugs out die, they may not have been in this mess. He didn't know if it was the drug, the overexertion from so much sex, or if Leon had some other underlying problem neither of them were aware of. No, that was impossible. They were both so diligent about the other's health and even the computers weren't freaking out.

He ran tired hands through his hair and took a deep breath. He decided enough was enough and stood from his chair, stretching wide to push all his stiff muscles in place. He pried Leon's mouth open again and disconnected the Link before stepping over him and onto the bed. He needed to sleep otherwise he was going to burn out. He shoved himself under the covers and maneuvered Leon around so he could see his face. He settled in and ran his fingers through the russet hair a few times before pushing their foreheads together and closing his eyes.

* * *

"Why the hell is everyone so cranky?" Sora asked, looking around the lunch table curiously. Everyone present was in a sour mood and the brunette was completely clueless. No one had explained to he and Riku the details of what was going on and instead decided to spend the rest of the previous day with their counterparts rather than do anything of merit. No one had the energy to do anything exciting but the quiet company was enough for them. Cloud and Leon hadn't showed up so far that day.

"Because," Axel blurted and glared at his plate.

"I think they're having a bad week," Riku said.

"I'm going on a trip," Roxas said and Sora's eyes widened.

"Yeah? Where?" he asked.

"Prison."

"…You're kidding."

"Not really."

"Seriously Roxas."

"Seriously Sora."

"…What did you do?"

"I have no idea."

"Me either, honestly. Xemnas is just a prick," Axel huffed. Sora quirked a brow.

"Wait, you're really going to prison?" the brunette asked.

"Quarantine," the blonde said.

"That's not prison," Sora said and looked thoughtful. He furrowed his brows together and looked to Riku. "Is it?"

"Might as well be," the Carrier said.

"What the hell?" Sora grumped. Axel sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Slowly, he began to explain everything that had happened. Demyx shrunk down in his seat and Zexion grabbed his hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Sora's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates when the redhead finished explaining everything and Riku sighed and shook his head before rubbing his brows.

"I can't believe their gall," the snowy Carrier said and pushed his plate away, his appetite ruined. Sora looked at Roxas with sympathetic eyes.

"I don't want you to leave," he said quietly the blonde shrugged.

"It's temporary, Sora. I'll be fine."

"I know but…that's not fair."

"I know. But there's nothing I can do about it."

"What can I do to help? Is there something you need done while you're gone?" the brunette offered. Roxas shrugged.

"Is Axel asks something of you, go ahead. I can't think of anything."

"Awesome. I get a slave," the redhead said dryly.

"I'll do what I can," Sora said.

* * *

Cloud awoke somewhere around dinner time to a thumb rubbing the hair behind his ear and a hand cupping the back of his neck. He furrowed his brows together at the feeling and when he opened his eyes, Leon was looking back at him. He startled and shot up to a sitting position, staring at the Carrier in disbelief.

"You woke up," he blurted.

"Yes, yes I did," Leon said and pushed himself up slowly. He rubbed the back of his head and grunted a little, feeling stiff.

"What happened?" Cloud asked.

"Good question. I don't remember a whole lot. What I do remember though, is having a lot of sex and then…nothing," the Carrier said flatly, glaring at the comforter. "What time is it?"

"It's…" the blonde trailed and looked at his watch. "Six thirty of the following day," he said and Leon looked to him like he had grown an extra arm.

"No."

"I'm not kidding."

"I was out for an entire day?"

"Yeah."

"Well fuck. That's a problem."

"No shit, you had me worried."

"It's not like I intended to do it."

"Are you feeling alright though? I couldn't find anything wrong with you, you were just out cold."

"I…" Leon said and stretched himself around, feeling his joints. "Yeah, I'm fine. I hope. What the fuck?" he asked to no one in particular and held his forehead, thinking. "You're seriously not dicking with me are you?"

"No, I'm really not. I had to strip the bed and I even managed to get us both cleaned up," the blonde said, looking his lover over carefully. Leon gave himself a once over as well and decided that he was in fact, clean. He sighed and looked at his hands, horribly confused.

"I'm hungry," he said abruptly. Cloud snorted.

"And I want a million Credits, what do you want to do about it?"

"Get down into the kitchen and make me something, woman."

"…I hate you."

"And yet you worry about me so much. You're so convincing."

"Put some damn pants on. I'm going to make myself a sandwich, _maybe_ I'll make something for you. If you're lucky," the blonde spat. He started to push himself out of the bed but Leon grabbed his hand and pulled him back. The Carrier was quick to turn him around and press their lips together for a passionate kiss, holding Cloud to him by the back of his head. It was brief but fraught with invisible ' _Thanks for giving a damn_ 's' and ' _I love you_ 's.' The blonde was allowed to pull away and they shared a moment of silent eye contact.

"Do I get a sandwich?" Leon asked and Cloud smacked him in the shoulder.

* * *

"Finger to your nose," Cloud ordered and Leon did as he was told, bending an outstretched arm inward and touching his nose. "The other," the blonde said and the Carrier did so with the opposite arm. The Charge jotted a note on his tablet before reaching forward and pushing Leon's arms out straight again. He ran analytical hands over the muscles of the limbs, following them inward and feeling for any abnormal bulges near the Carrier's lymph nodes in his armpits. He sighed, finding nothing.

"You really want something to be wrong with me, don't you?" Leon asked.

"Yes, so I can fix it and move on. This unknown unknowns shit is killing me," Cloud said grumpily and glared at his tablet. They had moved from their home to their lab at the facility. It was later than they normally would stay but there were too many unanswered questions that would keep them both awake. Cloud rubbed his brows a bit, looking thoughtful. Leon lowered his arms and went to retrieve his shirt and slip it over his head.

"Papa?" came a quiet female voice through the lab doors. A timid hand pushed one open enough for a delicate face to peek in with yellow-blonde hair and deep sapphire eyes. Cloud turned to the sound.

"Naomi?" he asked and she stepped inside. Naomi was he and Leon's oldest. She was just as tall as Leon but looked a lot like Cloud. She wore he hair in tight curls to her shoulders and kept Cloud's golden color purely by choice. Her eyes were Leon's though. She had lost her Charge and two natural lion children in the poaching and was at odds with what to do with herself lately. She had taken to being more reclusive than the rest of her siblings after everything but she always made the effort to spend some time with Cloud and Leon.

"You didn't meet me for lunch," she said quietly. She moved across the lab and gave Leon a tight hug. She looked thoughtful when she pulled away and raked her fingers through his hair a little. "You really need a new style, brother," she said. Leon shrugged. She turned to Cloud again.

"Ah, I apologize, I forgot. Some things came up I couldn't ignore," the Charge said. She narrowed her eyes on him suspiciously.

"What kinds of things?" she asked sternly.

"I'm not entirely sure I can say anything just yet."

"It's a private matter," Leon chimed. Naomi looked to the other Carrier then to Cloud again.

"Well can I expect you both tomorrow then? I really wanted to talk to you about my choices," she asked. Cloud took a moment to consider it.

"We'll be there," Leon answered for him. The blonde nodded some. Naomi let out a relieved breath.

"Good," she said and crossed the distance between her and Cloud and wrapped him in a hug. He reciprocated the motion and rubbed her back. She broke away and went back to Leon for another hug, much in the same manner. "Alright, please don't forget this time," she asked, looking between them.

"Okay," they said in tandem. She waved over her shoulder as she left quietly, letting the doors close gently behind her.

"She's struggling," Leon said flatly. Cloud nodded.

"I know. We'll find a good one for her though."

"I don't think anyone could replace Jackson," the Carrier said and turned to his Charge.

"I don't anyone can replace anyone else. Could you ever replace me?" the blonde asked.

"Easily," Leon said and smirked.

"Asshole."

"It is quite nice isn't it?"

"Only when you're begging for it."

"Too bad you have to have me take drugs for that."

"A pity. I don't ever want you taking those again, by the way. It's not worth all this bullshit."

"Did you make a full report?" Leon asked.

"I did, and I sent it to Ansem. Hopefully, he'll be able to come here before you have to leave and can do more for you. I honestly don't know what else to think."

"Me either. I still think you're just fucking with me."

"Well too bad because it's two days after your Tube Day and we started yesterday, remember? Check the calendar."

"I know. I feel fine though, which is why it's hard to believe."

"Let's just hope nothing pops up. Don't do any jumping jacks or anything to shake anything loose. You probably have a rusty hinge somewhere in that ancient body of yours and it's best not to chance it."

"Rusty hinges? I'm a door now?"

"You open and close for me whenever I please now-a-days it's not hard to imagine," Cloud said and smirked.

"Perhaps I should pull the velvet rope over myself and close everything down until I get back from quarantine," Leon spat and raised a brow. The blonde's smirk left.

"Now wait a minute…"

"That's what I thought."

* * *

Roxas was typing away at the Catalogue terminal in his bedroom, responding to several posts that had sprung up in the topic he had started on the Charge Forum. He had outlined (in as few details as possible) the circumstances surrounding his quarantine. Several of the responses were one-liners that consisted mostly of 'that sucks!' and 'good luck!' But there was one who had taken the time to explain a similar situation that their Carrier was going through. Not the drugs, but of meaningless punishment.

**One of Xemnas' subordinates came to us with insufficient evidence that we were doing something wrong. Their arguments were awful but I couldn't help but think that if Xemnas himself was there, he would've talked us into a corner much like he had done to you and your friends. My Carrier, Marluxia is heading into quarantine later this week as well for a three week sentence because he started to argue with the Technicians about how unjust their claims were. I honestly can't really understand what he was doing wrong because he always argues with them, but this was the first time they ever did anything about it. Maybe they're cracking down on everyone for some reason. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this. Check our photos, maybe you'll remember them and can say hello when you're in the cafeteria there.**

Roxas felt a little better knowing he wasn't completely insane and naïve about the way things were usually done. He was starting to wonder if someone had broken a legitimate rule and he simply volunteered to take their punishment for them. Now he could safely say no one did anything wrong and they were just being assholes for the sake of being assholes. He went to the Charge's profile. The Carrier, Marluxia, looked incredibly flamboyant and the blonde started to laugh when he saw what Totem he had. He was of the species _Pavo cristatus._ Marluxia was a peacock; an Indian Blue, to be exact. Other than the androgynous features the Carrier had, the fact that his hair was decidedly _pink_ just made things so much funnier. Much to his surprise though, Marluxia's Charge was a woman. An incredibly beautiful woman and together, they made a very pretty package.

"What are you laughing about?" Axel said suddenly and the blonde jumped. The redhead chuckled. "Don't pee your pants now. You left the door open."

"Did you even knock?" Roxas asked in a huff, his pulse racing.

"I did. And you didn't answer, and I heard you laughing so I came in."

"Fine. I was just looking at the Forum again. There's this Charge whose Carrier is going into quarantine the same time as me and for similar reasons."

"What reason would that be?"

"We have no idea, that's what's similar."

"Ah. Well what was funny?"

"I was being a bit of a bigot, I guess. The guy _looks_ gay, but apparently he has an incredibly hot girl for a Charge. That and his Totem is just… silly."

"Oh?" Axel asked and came into the room and looked over Roxas' shoulder. The Carrier snorted. "Wow, I'd hate to be that guy in quarantine."

"Why? What difference does it make?"

"He's a prey animal, technically. Hope he's not a total wimp otherwise he could be seriously beat to shit during mealtime."

"…Do prey animals not go to quarantine very often?"

"Maybe I should rephrase, not very many _avian_ prey animals go into quarantine. They tend to be pretty passive. Who knows though? Everyone's different."

"Yeah. He seems different enough to me," the blonde said. "What did you need, by the way?" he asked, exiting out of the forum.

"You," the redhead said simply and smiled. Roxas raised a brow. Axel held up a specimen canister and wiggled it at him a little. "Sample please," he said pleasantly.

"You don't have enough?"

"If I'm going to have anything to do while you're gone, I need more. The ones we have are only going to last another ten days or so," the redhead said, trying not to think too much about his Charge leaving him. He was hoping Roxas wouldn't just take the canister and say 'see you in twenty minutes' of course, but he didn't know how the blonde was feeling just yet. It had only been two days.

"Um, okay," the Charge said hesitantly. He wasn't entirely sure of a couth way of asking 'hey, wanna help me jerk off?' but he didn't want Axel to just hand off the canister and be on his way either. They were both still having issues reading one another, which was to be expected with such recent developments between them. Everything was still very new and awkward. Roxas chewed on his lip in thought.

"Um…should I just leave it in—" the redhead tried to ask.

"No."

"…Did you wa—"

"Yes," the blonde blurted. Axel seemed a little relieved and he smiled.

* * *

"Get in the fucking tank," Cloud ordered, glaring at his Carrier.

"Are you serious?" Leon asked.

"Yes."

"Oh good god Cloud," he huffed, rolling his eyes. "Nothing is wrong with me."

"You don't lie around unconscious for a day without there being an issue. Get in the tank," the blonde growled, typing away at the terminal. Inside every lab, there were the machines for procreation, a few for the making of Implants, and one for the maintenance of the fully matured Carriers. The machine that Cloud and Leon were using, formally called the Diagnostic Care Center, was similar to the stasis chambers and their respective terminals but used for Carriers. It was a diagnostic tool of sorts, and was able to do full internal scans of the Implant and Primal forms with far more detail than what just using the Link and Catalogue would give as well as a plethora of other things. It was also a sterile environment for Carriers to heal in if they had to have some sort of extensive surgery or wound to take care of. Leon hated using it, simply because he would have to admit there was a problem with him somewhere.

He was hoping to avoid telling Cloud about his problem. He was also hoping to talk to Ansem about it without his Charge being present. The Carrier _had_ felt something before he had gone unconscious, but knew the tools they had at home would never be able to find it and he wanted to keep it that way. He could actually remember _everything_ from when he was 'unconscious.' He wasn't able to make himself move, open his eyes, or speak, or anything. But he could feel. He felt Cloud bathe them, felt the change in bedclothes, felt the blonde pull the bed across the room. His body simply stopped and he didn't know why. It worried him to no end, but he couldn't tell Cloud about it because his Charge tended to overreact with things like this. Leon legitimately felt fine now. There wasn't an issue anymore as far as he could tell, but he wasn't sure he could keep his secret if he got inside the Diagnostic Care Center. He didn't know what the blonde would find. He was going to bring the issue up with Ansem when the Technician came to get him for his quarantine but it seemed things weren't going to turn out that way.

"Cloud, I really would rather not," Leon said carefully.

"Why can't you let me do my job? I want to figure out what's wrong with you."

" _Nothing_ is wrong with me. I feel fine."

"You say that but I have a hard time believing you. It's obviously either very small and very invasive or so huge that we can't make any sense of it. Get. In. The. Fucking. Tank. Do I need to sedate you?"

"You might have to."

"This isn't the time to be a whiny bitch about things."

"I'm not whining about anything, I'm being stubborn. There's a difference."

"Stop hiding. There's no way there couldn't be a problem with you. I'm not stupid enough to believe there isn't. In," the Charge demanded. Leon sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "There's something you're not telling me."

"No," the Carrier said and started to disrobe.

"Yes there is."

"No Cloud, there isn't."

"Stop fucking with me."

"I'm not fucking with you. You ran your tests on me like a good little Charge, didn't find anything, and now you're flipping shits and being a bitch. I'm just a little tired of it, is all," Leon said flatly and kicked his shorts away. Cloud ground his teeth together but didn't say anything. The Carrier stepped inside the large glass cylinder and the blonde reached over and closed the door behind him, locking it and garnering a roll of the eyes from the one inside. Leon reached up and pulled the air hose from the top of the tube and stuffed it into his mouth and crossed his arms, waiting grumpily.

 _I only worry so much because I love you, damn it,_ Cloud thought while his fingers got to work initiating the machine and preparing to get started. He wasn't as well versed with the machine as he would like to be because his practice with it over the years was sporadic at best. He was liable to miss something if he wasn't diligent.

* * *

Buttons were becoming increasingly frustrating. Roxas only had one button down shirt and he contemplated just ripping it apart simply because he blamed himself for choosing _today_ of all days to wear it. He didn't know how to sew so he wouldn't be able to put the damn buttons back on if they went flying in all directions. He growled frustratingly into Axel's mouth, which was plastered to his, and the redhead pulled away, giving him an amused smirk.

"Problems?" the redhead asked breathlessly. They had managed to topple onto Roxas' bed with the angry blonde in question straddling the redhead around his waist. Axel had already disposed of his easy to remove t-shirt and was fighting off a snicker as he watched Roxas struggle helplessly.

"Fuck off," Roxas barked. "You don't know how to sew do you?"

"Uh…no, no I don't. But that doesn't mean we can't just buy you a new one if you're angry with that one."

"Good. Fine," the blonde spat and pulled his shirt harshly, ripping the last two annoying buttons free. Axel laughed a bit but his breath was cut short by Roxas' mouth on his again. The feverish temperament between them made things a little easier. Neither one had the mentality to focus on their awkwardness and did things on the fly. The redhead's hands were sliding over his Charge's lithe torso, and he found himself quickly becoming intoxicated by his warmth and scent. Roxas was just as receptive and raked his fingers through Axel's hair, eliciting a pleased shudder from the body below him. They broke for air, panting in each other's faces with flushed cheeks. Then Roxas had a thought. "I don't have any lube," he said quietly and pushed himself up from Axel's chest to look around and see what he had. The redhead saw him eyeing a small bottle of lotion that could be seen sitting on the sink through the open bathroom door.

"I'm not putting that shit on my dick. I'll have a rash for a fucking week," the Carrier blurted. Roxas snorted loudly before laughing.

"Right, right, forgot," he said. Axel rubbed Roxas' thighs a bit before moving inward and starting to undo his pants. The blonde's attention was brought back to him. "Hold on there."

"It's okay, we can finish later if you want but I really do need a sample from you. It wasn't just some clever ploy to get into your pants," he said and pushed himself up on his elbows, forcing Roxas to support himself on his knees. With one hand the redhead pulled the blonde farther up his torso until he was practically sitting on Axel's shoulders. The Carrier smoothed his hand over the front of Roxas' pants, and the blonde shivered.

"What about you though?" he asked. Axel shrugged.

"Later, when we can get everything we need," the redhead said and pulled his Charge's pants open fully before wigging a few fingers between the folds of the fabric. "Besides," he continued. "I really want to see that face again."

"What face?" the blonde asked, the goosebumps spreading over his skin like wildfire as Axel managed to delicately pull him free of his pants and into the open air.

"Remind me to have someone watch us to take a picture later, I can't even explain it," Axel said and chuckled a little, running his fingers over the blonde's length. He looked up to catch Roxas' glassy eyed stare just long enough to make the blonde's cheeks pinken a bit. Satisfied with that, the redhead gave him a good few strokes before sliding his hand to the blonde's thigh and pulling him forward and into his mouth.

* * *

Leon was surprised at how quickly the water had drained from the tank he was in, leaving him dripping and cold. Cloud must have put it into overdrive to get everything out so fast. The blonde was quick to unlock the door and pull it open for him. Leon popped the air tube from his mouth and cautiously made his way back into the lab. Cloud left to retrieve a large blanket for him, which would serve as a towel as well. The Carrier wasn't expecting his Charge to be so calm about things, and he was beginning to think there really wasn't anything wrong with him. Once huddled under his blanket and sitting in a chair, Leon looked Cloud over and found him to be incredibly tense.

"You have a tumor," the blonde said flatly.

"Oh boy," Leon sighed.

"It's really small, but it was pushing on just the right part of your premotor cortex to shut you down. Are you sure you don't remember anything?" Cloud asked flatly, giving Leon a harsh glare.

"Alright fine, I remember everything," the Carrier huffed. The blonde sighed and flexed his hands to keep himself from punching Leon in the nose.

"That's what I thought. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know what was going on either. I didn't want to worry you."

"Fuck you, I worried even before I knew what the problem was."

"I know."

"I really hate it when you pull shit like this," the blonde growled and ran angry fingers through his hair.

"Well hopefully once you submit your report, Ansem will hurry up and get over here."

"If I had the clearance and the know-how I'd go drilling into you right now."

"Brain functions are Technician territory, Cloud."

"I know. I don't think it's anything huge though, which is good. The exertion must have pushed it just right so at least we know the drugs are stable and we didn't give Demyx brain damage. Any more than he already has anyway. Hopefully surgery will be quick and maybe they'll forgo your quarantine."

"I doubt that, but maybe. I just hope it's benign."

"I think the Link would've figured that out for us. It probably didn't see it as a problem just yet because of the size. It's teeny tiny. Less than a pea size, really."

"Oh. Well good. I guess if I had to have my choice in brain tumors, I'd choose something small," Leon said and sighed. Cloud nodded.

Neither of them would say anything out loud, but they were both extremely worried. Not necessarily worried about whether or not Leon would have cancer, but that the Technicians would actually care enough to help him. Leon had more of his kind already even if he was the only male, and that technically made him expendable. They both hoped that the years of hard and productive work would have a sway in their decision making. Even if he was expendable, Leon was a valuable Carrier, and had already proved himself as such. But, the situation was out of their hands by this point. The only thing they could do is be careful, and wait.

* * *

Roxas panted and slid backwards down Axel's torso again so he could lie against him comfortably. The redhead pulled open the sample canister, dug out the tiny plastic cup inside, opened it, and spat the blonde's seed inside before putting it all back together again and pressing the button. He pushed himself up and gathered Roxas in his arms and hugged him tight. The blonde hugged him back.

"You're getting good at that…" Roxas trailed and rubbed his face into Axel's chest. The redhead chuckled, trying to ignore the weird taste in his mouth.

"Thanks? I guess? I'm not really sure how to respond to that. I just do what you tell me to."

"Works for me."

"Apparently so. I just like the faces you make."

" _Great_. Make me paranoid why don't you?" the blonde huffed and shifted around so he could push his clothing back into place and close everything back up. He could still feel Axel's readiness through his shorts and he knew what they would be doing next. He didn't want to break away from the redhead though just so they could find some lube.

"The only one making you paranoid is yourself, I was just enjoying the view," Axel said and kissed the blonde's hair. Roxas smirked.

"So um… should we head to your room, then?" he asked sheepishly. Axel chuckled again.

"That, or we could use the bottle I have in my pocket," he said smugly. The blonde's eyes widened some and he pushed away from the redhead's chest just in time to catch the Carrier's grin.

"Wait, you said…"

"No, _you_ said. I said nothing."

"Well what the hell?"

"You didn't enjoy yourself?"

"Well I did but, you didn't get anything out of it."

"Oh I got plenty. Like I said, I just like the faces you make," Axel said and pushed their foreheads together and rubbed noses with his Charge. Roxas didn't know whether to pout or to be flattered. Instead, he just rubbed his nose back and the redhead smiled. "I'm rubbing off on you."

"Maybe just a little."


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"So what are you telling me to do?" Ansem asked. He had returned home for a brief moment between his travels and found himself to be bombarded by messages from a certain blonde and his Lion Carrier. The man figured he'd better return Cloud's calls before his Catalogue terminal exploded from the overload, but he had very little time. Cloud, on the other hand, didn't care. He just wanted answers and a plan.

"What do you _think_ I want you to do? I want you to schedule surgery for him and fix it," Cloud barked through his terminal, plopping heavily into his chair. Ansem was too calm for him to be happy with. He knew the man was good at distancing himself from personal feelings about everything but Cloud felt he should have been up in arms about everything. Leon sat in the background in the lab listening and hoping that Cloud's boisterous ways of handling politics didn't ruin whatever chance they had.

"And when exactly do you suppose I have the time to do that?" Ansem asked calmly.

"Pick a time!" Cloud yelled and slammed his fist on the terminal. Ansem didn't react to his outburst. The Technician was fully aware of the strong bond between Charges and their Carriers and any sort of anger that stems from that isn't to be taken personally. Cloud was…mildly convincing though. His anger and hurt were real even if a bit brash. He was genuinely concerned for his Carrier, but Ansem had to be practical. The man took a moment to think. The Charge on the other end was becoming restless the longer he remained silent. Ansem sighed and rubbed his brows.

"Where is it again?" he asked tiredly.

"BA6, right on the surface," Cloud said and poked at his own scalp on top of his head, just in front of the line of his ear where the particular lobe of Leon's brain had the tumor. Ansem looked thoughtful. "It won't take very long, get in, get out, it's nothing huge. I'll even do the biopsy myself if it'll take too much time for you," the Charge offered.

"It's not a problem of how long it'll take as it is _when_ I can do it. I honestly don't trust one of my subordinates to do something like this on such a valuable Carrier. If we wait too long, more problems can arise. If it is cancerous, then we'd have an even bigger problem. But, I have to take care of my own responsibilities as well. I'm just trying to figure out how to maneuver this without my colleagues becoming suspicious. Honestly, I shouldn't even be considering this. Leon isn't unique anymore. Your other Carriers could, in theory, pick up his slack if he were to die."

"…But you will?" Cloud asked.

"I can't promise anything, but I will try. Yes," Ansem said.

"I don't feel any better. What about his quarantine?"

"What about it? I see no reason to forgive and forget."

"What if something happens to him while he's in there? I can't help him," the blonde said carefully, not liking where the conversation was heading.

"That is the point of quarantine, yes. To separate you two."

"But you can't put him at risk like that!"

"Then he should have thought about that before he decided to waste my resources on nonsense. It was a risk, and he took it. Now, he has to pay his dues. Quite honestly Cloud, you're just as responsible for it all as he is. You're his Charge, you should have stopped him. Be thankful I'm not making _you_ go into quarantine right after he comes back. Premotor tumors don't affect judgment, so he was in his right mind the entire time. You can't ask for more leniencies when the tumor has nothing to do with the crime," Ansem said. Cloud flexed his jaw, grinding his teeth together to keep himself quiet. Ansem was right, but he didn't want him to be.

"Cloud," Leon said and the blonde looked over his shoulder at him. "It's fine. I'll be fine. We have no idea how long this thing has been in there so what's another couple of weeks?"

"That's not the point," Cloud said.

"Are you afraid I'll get my ass beat or something?"

"I'm worried about everything at this point. It doesn't matter what it is or how small and stupid you think it is."

"Don't discount—"

"Yeah yeah, 'don't discount my abilities.' But you know what? If you happen to bump into someone too hard or take too strenuous of a shit you might set this thing off again and I can't have that. I won't," Cloud said and looked back to the terminal screen where Ansem was waiting patiently for them to finish their squabble. "You can't do the surgery before the quarantine?"

"I was actually considering doing it at the next monthly inspection. If your friends can keep a secret, that is. I'd forgo the inspection completely and take the time then. If you can compile as many scans as you can before then so I can pinpoint exactly where it is, it shouldn't take too long," Ansem said.

"That's fine," Leon said before Cloud could open his mouth again. "We'll make sure everyone can keep a secret."

"That's all I can ask. The date is set then; next inspection. I won't be able to see you before then, though. Xemnas or one of his subordinates will be coming to pick you up for your quarantine instead of myself, like I had originally planned. To be safe, I wouldn't change into your Primal form until after the surgery if you can avoid it," Ansem said.

"Alright. Thank you Ansem," Leon said. Cloud was glaring at the bottom of the monitor, unable to think of anything useful to say that could speed things up.

"Goodbye," Ansem said and the transmission was ended.

"Cloud," the Carrier said. The blonde didn't look at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Don't cry, now."

"This isn't the time to be an asshole to me."

"I'm not," Leon said. Cloud took a deep breath and folded his arms on the Catalogue's keyboard before resting his forehead on them. The Carrier went to him quietly and leaned against the terminal and settled a hand on the golden locks. Cloud heaved another sigh and tried not to think about what his life would be like if the hand in his hair suddenly wasn't there anymore.

* * *

"Riku?" Sora asked quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think it's wrong to be so happy while everyone around you isn't?"

"…You're asking me this _now_?" Riku asked, his hands stopping their work on the zipper of Sora's pants. The brunette shrugged.

"Sorry, I just had a thought," he said simply. Riku chuckled.

"This is an odd time to be thinking so deeply, don't you think?" he asked. The Carrier was already completely naked and Sora was a zipper and a pull away from being right there with him. They were in the brunette's bedroom for the evening, getting ready to ravage each other senseless. Apparently, tonight was not a night for such pleasantries. Sora seemed out of it. Riku quickly wrestled his Charge out of his remaining clothing before tossing them aside and crawling to the head of the bed to lay with him. Sora curled up against his chest and pulled a piece of silvery hair over the Carrier's shoulder to play with idly.

"I'm sorry… I'm just worried about everything," the brunette said quietly. Riku draped an arm over his waist and rubbed his back.

"I am too, a little."

"Only a little?"

"There isn't much any of us can do. Quarantine isn't fun, but it isn't the end of the world."

"Have you ever been there?"

"Once."

"What'd you do?"

"A Technician was manhandling me while I was in my Primal form and instead of biting him or anything, I sprayed him," Riku said and smiled.

"…Ew!" Sora squealed and laughed. "What was he doing to you?"

"He was pushing me around and trying to pick me up by my tail."

"Ooo…don't touch the tail," Sora said, chastising the invisible Technician.

"He had lifted me up by it so everything was level with his chest and yeah, I just let loose. He dropped me, kicked me, and then three days later I was in quarantine."

"Well he deserved it."

"He did. I was only there for a few days though because I didn't have a Charge at the time to make it a very useful punishment. It was only a couple years before I was able to go to Radiant Garden and watch you. I probably wouldn't do it again though."

"Because of me?"

"Right."

"Aw, you're cute," Sora said and hugged the Carrier around his chest. Riku smiled and hugged him back. "I still feel bad for being so happy while everyone else is struggling," he sighed.

"I think everyone is happy enough, just upset about having to part ways temporarily. Just because we're not being separated doesn't mean you have to force yourself to be upset right along with them. They might be a little envious of our time together while they're by themselves, but they aren't angry at us for it. I wouldn't worry too much."

"Still…"

"Still nothing. Stop worrying," Riku said and poked the brunette in between the eyes. Sora blinked and wrinkled his nose in response. "Is there something more you're not telling me? You seem more upset than you're letting on."

"I just…I don't know. Forget it. I don't really understand it."

"Are you sure?" the Carrier asked carefully and took his Charge's face in between his hands and pulled his face up, forcing eye contact. Sora's eyes had a flicker of sadness to them that Riku hadn't seen before. The Carrier rubbed the brunette's cheeks lightly with his thumbs and leaned forward to give him a soft kiss. When he pulled back, Sora's eyes were watering and Riku furrowed his brows together.

"I'm really worried…" the brunette said quietly and sniffled. "I can't really explain it but I have an awful feeling about all of this, outside of just missing Roxas and everyone while they're away."

"Like something might happen?" Riku asked and pulled him close. Sora tucked himself under the Carrier's chin and nodded against his collar bones. "I can't guarantee that something _won't_ happen, but I don't think it will. They're only out of their rooms for an hour at a time to eat and I don't think Roxas, Demyx, or Leon are out to make any enemies and will probably keep to themselves." Sora heaved a sad sigh.

"I know. You're right. I'm just having a hard time accepting it," the brunette said and laid a couple of light kisses on Riku's skin. "I need a distraction," he said and the Carrier chuckled.

"I think I can do that."

* * *

So much had happened since their first time together, Roxas hadn't really thought about seeing Axel naked again. Not that he was expecting anything different, but it was still a bit of a nerve wracking experience. The redhead was cautious once the clothing had come off, and tried not to push the blonde any more than he was willing to be pushed. Roxas hadn't said anything about any residual tenderness, but he wasn't taking any chances. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him, and then send him on his way to quarantine with a sore butt to nurse. His Charge seemed receptive enough, which was making his cautious mindset a bit difficult to hang on to.

Axel was good about keeping Roxas distracted though and not letting the blonde think for too long about things. That much he did learn; Roxas thinking too much equaled no sex. He had made a point to keep that in mind. It was important. He hoped that he could forget about that eventually though, and that by maybe the third or fourth time, the blonde could actually register most of what was happening without second guessing himself. Axel had to keep himself preoccupied as well otherwise he was liable to smother his Charge into oblivion simply because he was still feeling like the entire scenario was too surreal. He almost couldn't believe they had gotten to that point after so many years of waiting, even if it was only the second time. The first time he could hardly focus on anything, now, it was cementing itself into place.

For Roxas, there was something more to it than just sex. He couldn't really speak for Axel, but the way his skin felt against the redhead's was something he had never experienced with his previous female partners. Whether it was their Carrier-Charge relationship or Axel simply being Axel he couldn't tell. The nervousness was there because of the first time around and the residual physical feelings it left behind, not anything else. Lying on the redhead's chest and feeling his strong heartbeat thrum against his own made every move seem just a bit more meaningful, a bit more special. It felt like that heart, that life, was beating just for him. In a way, it was. Every kiss, every touch, every feeling Axel gave him, made Roxas have that warm cherished feeling and it was just about the most intoxicating feeling in the world.

Axel's hands played over Roxas' back, moving downward and over his thighs. Goosebumps spread over the blonde's skin like wildfire and he hummed his approval into Axel's tongue. The redhead took his time to savor the feeling of his Charge's legs before shifting up to cup the blonde's rump. Roxas broke their kiss, pulling on Axel's bottom for brief second as he left. He rested his forehead against the redhead's and took a moment to watch his eyes. Axel gave him a lopsided smile and the flesh in his hands a firm squeeze causing Roxas to chew on his lip a little.

"Be gentle with me," the blonde said quietly. Axel's smile spread into a grin.

"Of course," he said and pushed forward again for a quick kiss before sliding his hands down and pulling on the blonde's thighs, moving him forward and up his chest. Roxas seemed a little confused as the redhead felt around the comforter for the little bottle of lube that had been tossed somewhere. He found it quickly and uncapped a glob into his hand. The blonde looked down underneath himself, puzzled. He was still on top and in no condition to get started already. Axel looked up and kissed his Charge's chest several times as he smooshed the substance around in his hand, coating it entirely. He slipped a hand in between the blonde's legs and moved upward to begin massaging Roxas' entrance.

Roxas' breath hitched and Axel used his clean hand to rub up and down his thigh reassuringly as he continued to leave a spattering of kisses over any accessible part of skin. After a few minutes of gentle probing the redhead pressed a finger inside and could feel the blonde's legs quiver against him. He didn't know if that was a good or a bad sign. He could hear Roxas take a few breaths though and he leaned back to see his face. His Charge's eyes were squeezed shut and his brows were lightly furrowed. He wasn't gritting his teeth though, which was a little better. He also wasn't voicing his displeasure, which was good too. Axel felt safe enough move his digit around, forcing the muscle to relax.

Roxas wasn't in any pain, but the feelings were still incredibly strange to him. He was expecting it though and was able to keep his opinions to himself because of it and let the redhead do his thing. Axel was gentle and waited far longer than he wanted to before pressing another finger in. The blonde's hips did a tiny jolt forward in response and he squeaked into his throat before taking another series of deep breaths to calm himself. The redhead could feel the tension and slid his clean hand around front to cup the blonde's scrotum and massage it around, hoping to give him a little bit of a distraction. Roxas' thighs twitched with the new feeling and he pushed his hips backwards, not only into Axel's fingers but pushing the other hand forward and forcing it to his length. The redhead took the hint and stroked him.

"F-fuck…" the blonde said quietly, the sound hardly escaping from under his breath. Axel heard it though and could feel Roxas relax around his fingers more. The redhead had a mental ' _Aha!_ ' moment and pressed the third finger in without much change in his counterpart, which pleased him to no end. He continued his gentle strokes while his fingers moved and stretched and when the blonde was coated in a thin film of sweat with his thighs shaking, Axel felt it safe to continue again. Roxas had almost forgotten there was more to than what he was going through so far. He remembered when Axel's fingers left him and he was being nudged back down the redhead's torso.

The Carrier was quick to capture his mouth again while his hands went to work over the blonde's back, squeezing a bit more lube into the already sticky one. Roxas raked his fingers through the redhead's hair and intertwined their tongues hungrily, his mind fogging over completely. Axel wiggled his hand underneath the blonde again and he reached down to his own neglected need and coated it before pulling his hand away and pressing back on his Charge's thighs. Roxas broke their kiss and pushed himself up some to see the redhead's face.

"…Like this?" he questioned, referencing their positioning. Axel nodded a little.

"You have more control. Take your time," he said and nudged him back more and stopped when Roxas was close enough. He rubbed his Charge's thighs, ignoring the mess. The blonde didn't care about it either and pushed himself up more and looked behind him, taking in is Carrier's need. Roxas chewed on his lip a little but the sudden feeling of Axel stroking him again kept him from thinking too much. His attention snapped forward again and he locked eyes with the body below him. Axel's cheeks were a little pink and it made the blonde's heart do a flip and his stomach tighten. He reached a hand behind himself and ran a few fingers over the slicked warmth behind him and the Carrier let out a sigh and closed his eyes. Roxas smiled to himself.

With a lift and a push backwards of his hips, Roxas began to inch himself onto Axel slowly, taking several breaths in the process. The redhead's hands twitched in their places and he opened his eyes again to take in the blonde's expression. Roxas looked to be in pain and it broke his heart. He grabbed the blonde's quaking arms, drawing his attention.

"If it hurts don't force yourself," the redhead said breathlessly. Roxas shook his head.

"I'm not forcing anything, I want to," the blonde responded and pushed himself back a bit more, silencing any more protests from his Carrier in a grunt. "It doesn't hurt as much as last time," he continued. He let his arms bend and lay him on the redhead's chest more, angling himself better. Axel's hands came to rest on his back and the blonde pressed his forehead into the redhead's skin, catching his breath and letting himself adjust. It was taking every ounce of Axel's willpower not to push upwards and slam the rest of himself into his Charge and he took a moment to gather himself as well. Roxas was slowly becoming aware that though the position they were in gave him greater control, it also meant that the redhead could reach much deeper inside him and it was a little frightening. He didn't let himself dwell on the idea too much and pushed himself back more until there wasn't anything left to take. He could feel the redhead's fingers spasm on his back with the feelings.

Roxas pushed himself up again and Axel followed after him and cupped his clean hand behind the blonde's neck and pulled him forward for a kiss. He was attempting to stall the blonde from moving too soon and hoping to avoid another embarrassment on his end. His Charge was receptive though and let Axel support his weight as he wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck and leaned into the kiss. The hand on his neck left to wander down his back and eventually became wedged between them. Roxas bent just enough to allow some wiggle room for the hand to grip his arousal and begin stroking him again. The blonde pulled away from the kiss but kept his forehead to Axel's watching his eyes closely. The redhead kept their weights supported on his one elbow and watched the glossy cerulean eyes in front of him as he gave the blonde an extra tug, forcing his hips to move a little. The Charge gasped some against him but got the hint.

The blonde pushed himself back some, giving Axel more room to stroke him and used the redhead's shoulders for support as he pulled himself up and began to move. The Carrier let out a shudder and let his head fall back as he felt himself slide from his Charge's tight warmth only to be pushed back again. He made a point to keep his hand moving of Roxas' length, even if his ministrations were a little erratic as his mind clouded over. It was enough of a distraction for the blonde though and his mind was kept away from the ache and the odd sensations and he focused on the redhead's fingers. After a short while, Roxas' shaking thighs weren't following his directions as well as he would've liked and his movements slowed, much to his Carrier's displeasure.

"Axel…" the blonde panted and laid his forehead against the redhead's shoulder. Axel's hand stopped and moved up to run his fingers through the flaxen locks. He sighed, as the activity stopped, feeling his Charge was in too much pain to continue.

"It's okay, we don't have to," he said hesitantly. He wasn't entirely sure about the accuracy of his deductions because his Signet wasn't going off but he had no other explanation for the halt. Roxas shook his head.

"No, I want you to move for me. My legs are giving out," he said and let out a breathy chuckle into his Carrier's skin.

"Oh," Axel said with obvious relief. Roxas smirked a little. The redhead kissed his hair before lowering himself back against the mattress again, forcing the blonde to sit up more. The Carrier took in the view of his Charge's flushed skin and half-lidded smile and heavy breathing. Axel smiled back and moved his hips around underneath him, centering himself. Roxas picked himself up some to give him some extra room and pressed his hands into the Carrier's torso to support himself. The redhead's hands came to rest on the blonde's thighs again as he gave a tentative push upward into his Charge. Roxas gasped and closed his eyes.

After a few more thrusts one of the blonde's hands came in between them and he began to stroke himself. Their movements were slow, almost torturous. Once the ache dulled away and Roxas became used to the feelings, he could focus on the growing tingling pleasure as it pooled itself under his navel. Axel was trying to hardest to keep himself under control but the combination of watching Roxas pleasure himself and the intense tightness surrounding his need was making things difficult. He squeezed his eyes closed in order to block out one of the sensations. When the blonde let out a light moan, though, he couldn't help but open them again and catch the expression he loved to see on Roxas' face.

"More," the blonde choked out as his hand started to move faster. Axel let out the breath he was holding and pushed down on Roxas' thighs as his thrusts upwards became more insistent. The pain renewed itself some but the blonde squelched it down as he listened to the redhead's pants and light grunts. His Carrier was close, he could tell and he wasn't far behind. Just when he thought Axel was going to finish first, the redhead's member scraped over his prostate and the sudden jolt of pleasure tipped him over the edge and he shuddered a moan into the open air sending a dribble of white over his fingers and onto Axel's stomach. The redhead watched it all with stunned eyes and he didn't force himself to hold back anymore. After another couple thrusts he pushed his Charge onto him fully and released with an echoing groan.

* * *

Demyx and Zexion just about leapt out of their skins at the sudden burst of sound that thundered down the hallway. All other parties that shared the space with them stopped moving and looked around. The sandy blonde looked at his Charge with wide eyes.

"What the fuck was that?" he gasped and Zexion stared back at him with an equally as surprised expression.

"I have no idea. It sounded like Axel though," he said quietly.

"I think someone broke his leg," Demyx said worriedly and chewed on his thumb a little. "Do… do you think we should check on him?"

"Let's head to his room and take a listen, just to be sure."

* * *

Roxas couldn't even laugh. He simply stared down at Axel with wide eyes. The redhead stared back at him, his complexion darkening the longer they held eye contact. The blonde smiled and laid himself against the Carrier's chest and draped his arms over the redhead's shoulders to comb his fingers through his hair. Axel looked to the side and cleared his throat a bit, lacing his fingers together on the blonde's back. Roxas' smiled widened and he pulled Axel's face back and pressed their lips together tenderly for a moment before pulling away and rubbing noses with him. Axel smiled a bit.

* * *

Demyx pressed an ear to Axel's door and heard nothing. He furrowed his brows together and pursed his lips.

"Not there?" Zexion asked and the sandy blonde shook his head.

"Nope. The shower isn't even running."

"We just went by the lab and it was empty. Roxas' room?"

"Yeah. Let's try there."

* * *

"Better?" Axel asked. Roxas nodded and laid his cheek against the redhead's collar bones. Axel rubbed his back. "Good," he added. Suddenly there was a loud knock and they both startled and yelped. The knocking didn't cease and the pair scrambled around trying to cover themselves a bit. Before they could get very far though, Demyx's foot came down and kicked the door wide. Zexion had obviously been trying to pull the Carrier away, because he was a few feet back with Demyx's arm in his hands. All parties froze though as the door hung limply on its hinges, the knob nearly falling out of its hole. The sandy blonde spared no embarrassment for the pair on the bed and he gasped.

"Holy shit yay!" he exclaimed before clapping. He froze after the initial outburst though and sniffed. "Hot damn Axel, you smell like a giant pile of sweaty tigers," he added.

"Demyx?" Axel asked quietly, Roxas pressed his face into the redhead's chest and hid the rest of it behind his hands in embarrassment.

"Yeah buddy?" the other Carrier asked happily.

"I'm going to fucking kill you, you have three seconds to start running," the redhead growled, his eyes boring an acidic hole into his friend's face. Zexion abandoned his post and took off. Demyx whirled on the sudden loss of contact.

"Hey! Zexion! What the hell?" he called after his Charge. While he was distracted Axel nudged Roxas off of him quickly and sprung from the bed. He cleared the distance to the door in a few quick strides just in time for Demyx to turn back around. The color drained from the sandy blonde's face right before Axel's fist collided with his nose and sent him reeling backwards. The redhead didn't give him any heed as Demyx let out a pained squeal and held his face with blood dripping from between his fingers. Axel stepped backwards into the room a few steps and grabbed the door before swinging it closed and kicking it onto the broken doorjamb, jamming it shut. The knob rattled in its place and fell off, clanking to the floor and leaving a hole where it was. Axel leaned down and picked up one of Roxas' socks and shoved it into the space.

"Oh my _god_ ," the blonde sputtered into his hands. Axel turned to look at him and found Roxas on the bed with his knees to his chest and his face in his hands, and pressed to the comforter with his feet tucked under his rump. The redhead scotched back into the bed and sat next to him and rubbed his back. "That was almost as bad as my mother walking in on me and Sarah," Roxas muttered into his palms. Axel snorted.

"Almost?"

"Demyx isn't my mom."

"True. He's a total killjoy though."

"I agree," the blonde said and pushed himself up.

"…You feel okay?" Axel asked and Roxas nodded.

"I'll feel it more in the morning, I'm sure. We need a shower."

"Okay."

* * *

"Is it broken?" Demyx asked. Zexion lifted the sandy blonde's shirt up over his head with one quick yank, garnering a mewl of protest from the Carrier. The Charge sighed and balled the fabric up in his hand and pulled Demyx's hands away from his face and smooshed the wad into his bleeding nose. The Carrier yelled. "Damn it! Ow!"

"Why didn't you run? Axel gave you fair warning," the Charge asked.

"I didn't think he was serious!" Demyx cried.

"Well not about killing you but he _looked_ like he wanted to."

"I—Wh…that's not the point! You left me to die! How could you?"

"You're not dead. I just listened to Axel and took his advice and ran. I thought you were right behind me."

"But _Zexioooon_ …" the Carrier whined.

"But _Demyyyyyyx_ …" Zexion whined back.

"My face _huuuuuuurts_ …"

"Good. I tried to stop you and you didn't listen. I can't even feel bad about this, you got what you deserved," the Charge chided and stood. Demyx hobbled to his feet and they started to head back down the hall towards the lab. Before they could get inside, the sandy blonde let out a stuffy snort into his shirt and he started to giggle.

"Axel's totally a screamer."

* * *

"What the fuck happened to your face?" Leon asked and leaned into Demyx's personal space and squinted at him. It was the next morning and the sandy blonde's nose was a mass of purple. Nothing was broken, but it sure felt like it. Leon and Cloud, and Demyx and Zexion were the only ones present at the breakfast table.

"Axel hit me," Demyx said. Leon raised a brow.

"What did you do?" he asked automatically. The sandy blonde gaped at him. Cloud came to the table with his tray and set it on the table; he and Leon opted for an early start in the lab instead of homemade breakfasts. The Charge furrowed his brows at the younger Carrier's appearance. Zexion ate his breakfast quietly.

"I didn't do anything that bad; I just wanted to make sure Axel wasn't dying," Demyx said defensively.

"…Axel was dying? Where was I?" Leon asked curiously. Zexion held up a hand.

"Axel wasn't dying, Demyx was just being nosy again," the Charge said.

"Zexion! You're supposed to be on my side!" Demyx cried sadly.

"Not when your side is full of ignorance I'm not," Zexion said calmly and shoveled another spoonful of oatmeal in his mouth. His Carrier pouted.

"So what was wrong with Axel, then?" Leon asked.

"Nothing," Zexion said.

"…So Demyx got hit for nothing?"

"Nothing of worth for him anyway."

"I should say something to him then, he can't just go around beating people for no good reason," Leon said and crossed his arms. Cloud shrugged.

"I'm sure there's more to it than that," the blonde said.

"I'm innocent!" Demyx cried and gently touched his nose. Zexion scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Axel and Roxas were being…intimate and Demyx decided that it was the best time to barge in on them," the Charge said and Demyx's mouth dropped open.

"Zexion! Why are you betraying me?"

"I'm doing no such thing. I just feel that if Axel is going to get a reprimanding for no reason then everyone needs to know the full story before someone else gets punched in the nose," Zexion said calmly. Leon's eyes narrowed on Demyx. Cloud snorted against his piece of toast.

"Did you break the door?" Leon asked, the anger in his voice apparent.

"…Maybe?" Demyx squeaked and shrunk down in his seat. The other Carrier sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Guess who gets to fix it?" he asked grumpily. Demyx glared at his tray.

"If I said 'maintenance' I'll get kicked in the balls, won't I?" he asked with a huff.

"You might. Do you have enough Credits to cover a new door?"

"…Yes Leon," Demyx sighed, sounding like an exasperated teenager who was being scolded by his father. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Good, I want a new door on whatever room you broke into by this afternoon. Is that clear?"

" _Fine_ ," the sandy blonde huffed with an indignant snort. Cloud and Zexion smirked into their respective meals but stayed silent.

* * *

Axel watched Roxas sleep. It was already past breakfast and heading into the late morning, but he couldn't bring himself to wake the blonde up. The way the sunlight had streamed into the room and glinted through his Charge's hair made it look like he had a halo surrounding him and it was just too cliché of a scene to ruin. The Carrier smiled to himself. They had moved to Axel's room since he was lacking a hole in his door and had a knob that could turn and not fall off. The orange of his bedclothes reflected the light as well and sent a soft tangerine glow over everything around them.

The longer he watched, the more he thought about Roxas' quarantine. For two whole weeks, he wouldn't be able to wake up to horribly cliché angelic scenes. For two whole weeks, he wouldn't be able to touch or smell his Charge. He knew it was temporary, but it couldn't have happened at a worse time for him. Their inseparable bond was forming. The one he waited so long to have. He didn't want to interrupt that process for even a second, let alone fourteen days. He no longer felt like the outcast looking in and envying everything else his friends had. He and Roxas were making that Carrier-Charge relationship a reality for them and it was the most important thing to Axel.

The redhead had great sympathy for the Carriers who's Charge's decided to not have such a close bond with them and kept it more of a working relationship. Like the Carrier was the Charge's occupation rather than a companion. Axel had told himself in the beginning that it would be alright if Roxas wanted to keep their relationship that way, but now, he couldn't even imagine the intense loneliness he would be feeling if he didn't have the blonde sleeping next to him. It must be an awful thing to have one's Charge go off and have a family of their own with another human and say 'see you Monday' and punch the figurative clock and leave every day. There was no other alternative for Carriers if that happened to them. They weren't allowed to pursue relationships outside of their Charges.

Axel considered himself very fortunate. Roxas was there, next to him, willing to move forward with him despite their issues, and willing to pursue the same goals. They understood each other like that now. Sure, their awkwardness would probably stay for a while as far as their mannerisms went but the deep inside important stuff was in sync at the very least, which is what _really_ mattered.

The redhead rolled onto his side, unable to contain himself any longer and pulled the blonde to him quickly and hugged him close. Roxas mumbled sleepily against him and shifted around a bit to get comfortable again before settling against him and attempting to fall back asleep fully once more. Axel rested his chin against the blonde's hair and closed his eyes, reveling in their closeness and never wanting to let go.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

"So what happens if one of the glass panes just…explodes?"

" _We die_."

"Just like that?"

" _Basically. There's sensors all over them so if one comes loose, they send a team out there to fix it, but if it just up and disappears, then we're dead. It'll take way longer for the Carriers to die, but yeah, we're dead._ "

"Oh," Roxas said, staring up at the wiggly glass of the dome overhead. He and Axel were lounging together in the field with a few other Carriers in their Primal forms, including Demyx and Riku who were off milling about in the distance. It was two days before the blonde was to be carted off for his quarantine and even in just the casual conversation they were having it was obvious Axel was hurting. His tone was heavy and downtrodden. He answered any of Roxas' random questions with flat, finite answers without any sort of witty remark or happy inflection tagged on the end. The blonde was trying his hardest to give him smiles to enjoy but he wasn't getting very far. He rolled onto his side and squashed his face into the striped fur and draped an arm over the cat's side in a half-hug.

" _What are you doing? Trying to molest me?_ " Axel asked, looking at his Charge's strange positioning.

"No, I was attempting a hug, but I failed miserably. Hang on," Roxas said and shifted around and draped a leg over the hulking body and lay across the side of it like an enormous furry body pillow. He reached his arms up and wrapped them loosely around Axel's neck and laid his cheek on his shoulder. "God, I'm fucking short," the blonde remarked. His entire body fit along Axel's Primal form comfortably.

" _That's okay. I don't mind_."

"I'm not crushing your ribcage or anything am I?"

" _No way, you probably couldn't do that unless you started to jump on me like a trampoline. You don't weigh enough_."

"Gee, _thanks_ ," the blonde spat sarcastically and let his arms fall away from the Carrier's neck and drape off his sides limply. Axel let his top half lay flat on the grass, peeking through the green blades at the approaching party. Sora and Riku were walking towards them and the brunette cast a shadow over both of them, drawing Roxas' attention upward. The blonde didn't make much of an effort to get up and greet them though and his younger brother snorted.

"You guys look like the pinnacle of motivation," Sora said sarcastically and grinned. Roxas shrugged.

"Eh… whatever," he said. Axel sucked in a heavy breath; lifting his Charge another couple inches before letting it out in a long sigh, showing _just_ how motivated he was feeling.

"Demyx wants to go for a run," Sora said and looked to Axel. Riku stood off to the side of his Charge, holding his tail between his teeth and waiting patiently.

" _Oh yuck. I don't want to move_ ," Axel said.

"Axel says he doesn't want to move," Roxas translated. Sora snorted.

"I don't think he has much of a choice, Demyx said he'd come over here and force him if he had to."

" _Damn it,_ " the Carrier sighed. He picked his head up again and Roxas pushed himself up and scooted off of him. The cat pushed himself up from the ground and stretched a bit before shaking his entire body from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail in order to push all his fur back into place. He looked to the blonde and opened his mouth. The Charge reached in to unplug the earpiece. " _See you in a bit_ ," Axel said before they were disconnected. Riku opened up for Sora as well and the brunette disconnected his earpiece before both Carriers padded away to where Demyx could be seen in the distance with Zexion. Sora sat on the grass with his brother.

"Are you worried?" the brunette asked. Roxas looked to him with a raised brow.

"About what?"

"Leaving for quarantine."

"Not really. I mean, I'll miss being here and everything, but I don't think there'll be any problems," the blonde said as he wound the chord of his earpiece around itself neatly and tucked it in his pocket. Sora pulled his own device off of his ear and turned it over in his hands, looking thoughtful.

"I'm worried," the brunette said quietly.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. I just feel weird about you leaving."

"Aw, I'll miss you too," Roxas cooed and nudged his sibling in the shoulder. Sora gave him a weak smile.

"It's more than that. I can't really explain it."

"Like when Uncle George died?" Roxas asked. Sora nodded. In their childhood, their mother's brother, George, had died in a car accident after a week of Sora complaining about having a weird feeling about him. Coincidentally, that was the same uncle that Roxas felt was sad for being forty-five and virgin. Roxas didn't hold much merit to the brunette's 'feelings' about bad instances but he humored his brother anyway, to give him some peace of mind. "Well I'll be careful if it'll make you feel better," the blonde said and the brunette nodded again.

"Please," Sora asked. Zexion was walking towards them. Demyx took off like a bolt across the grass, leaving Riku and Axel in his dust. The other two Carriers waited until he circled back again. Riku let his tail fall out of his mouth as he crouched low to the ground, watching Demyx closely. As the sandy Carrier neared, Riku sprung into the air a good five feet and collided with his friend, toppling them both over and rolling in the grass. Axel watched and waited for both of them to settle some on the ground and lazily padded over to them and flopped his huge body over them both. Riku let out a loud yelp and tried to pull himself out from under the tiger but it wasn't until Axel shifted and let him up that he was able to. Demyx flailed underneath the other Carrier, pushing at his back and trying to wiggle his hips out from under him but Axel wouldn't budge and tapped his tail against the grass to show his boredom with their game.

"Wow, that's not much of a run, is it?" Roxas asked and Sora laughed a little.

"Not really. I just hope Axel didn't break anything on Riku."

"He let him up, he knows his limits," the blonde reassured. Zexion waved at them quietly before taking a seat next to Roxas and watching the Carriers in the distance. Riku was furiously licking his tail back into pristine condition and Demyx made a series of loud yelping meows trying to get Axel off of him. Eventually, the tiger relented and pushed himself up just enough for the other to shake free. Demyx took a short jog in a wide circle to get his legs back into shape before taking off again at full speed and circling around the entire field. Axel pushed himself up again. Demyx slowed to a steady gait and pranced about in the grass happily for a moment before heading towards the other two again. Axel trotted for a while and sped up once Demyx came beside him and before too long, they were running together; Axel at full speed, Demyx at a jog. Riku watched them take a lap around the field together before crouching in the grass again, as flat as he could and eyeing Axel up as they drew closer.

"Uh oh," Sora said warily. Roxas snorted. Zexion wasn't paying attention and was scrolling through his tablet idly.

"I wonder if they realize that he's there," the blonde said but didn't have to wait long for his answer. Just before Axel and Demyx were about to pass him, Riku leapt into the air again and flicked his back legs at the pair, making Axel startle and shift to the side and crash into Demyx. The two stumbled a few feet away awkwardly before regaining their footing. Riku watched them both for a brief moment before taking off across the field. Axel didn't bother to chase after him but Demyx was more than happy for the opportunity and sped after him, catching up quickly and swiping a paw underneath the other Carrier's leg and causing him to stumble and flop into the grass, skidding a few feet with the residual momentum. Sora started to laugh.

"That was awesome!" he cried. Roxas nudged him and pointed to Axel, who had taken to copying Riku and flattening himself on the ground as much as he could and creeping across the grass. Demyx was busy batting Riku around and play fighting with him, so they were both completely distracted. "That just looks weird," the brunette remarked.

"I know, he's too big. He looks like a fucking orange tree being dragged across the ground," Roxas said. "Now, if there was stuff to hide behind, it'd be a different story but the field isn't the best place for this."

"Yeah," Sora agreed. Axel was able to inch himself relatively close to his friends before pushing his backside in the air, readying himself to pounce.

"Please don't crush them," Roxas pleaded with his Carrier. Axel didn't jump though and sucked in a strong snarling breath before pushing his front half up and jutting his chest forward, letting out a thunderous roar that caused Demyx to startle forward and trip over Riku clumsily. The shockwaves were surprising and the residual sound was felt, rather than heard. Zexion startled as well and his tablet was tossed a few inches, causing him to fumble after it unsuccessfully and having it land in the grass. Roxas and Sora stared at the tiger wordlessly. Riku was frozen on his back with his feet in the air, staring at Axel with huge eyes.

"What the fuck?" the brunette squeaked.

"Wow," Roxas said.

"I really wish he wouldn't do that," Zexion said and rubbed his temples, his tablet ignored. Axel sucked in his breath again and sat calmly, licking his jowls. He proceeded to take the role of the innocent house cat and licked the bottom of a paw a few times and rubbed it over his face. Roxas chuckled.

"Damn, my ears are ringing," Sora said and stuck a finger in his ear and wiggled it around. The blonde nodded.

"He does that."

"Yeah? This is the first I've heard it."

"Me too."

"…How can you said 'he does that' when you've never heard it before?"

"Oh believe me, he does, but only for me," Roxas said and smirked, giving his brother a wink.

* * *

"That was totally unnecessary," Riku barked and smacked Axel in the shoulder. The redhead laughed and pulled his t-shirt over his head. "God, you gave me such a fucking headache," the snowy Carrier continued and rubbed his temples.

"Seriously," Demyx whined in agreement and stuck a leg in his shorts.

"I couldn't resist," Axel said through his grin.

"You're lucky you didn't rupture something in my nose with all that infrasound," the sandy blonde said and touched his tender bruise.

"Sorry," the redhead said quickly, though his smile betrayed his sincerity. The complaining dwindled after that and the Carriers made their way back to their Charges quietly. Axel could see Roxas in the distance and when a light breeze picked up the blonde startled like he had been shot, making the redhead snort. Roxas looked around confusedly.

"Was that wind?" the blonde asked, stunned. Axel sat in the grass in front of him. Demyx plopped on the ground and grabbed Zexion around the waist and pushed him into the grass with him. The Charge didn't react very much and continued reading his tablet. Riku lay in the grass next to Sora and watched the sky.

"Sort of. The air does need to circulate every now and again in here, Roxas," Axel chuckled.

"Weird, I've never felt it before. Huh…" the blonde trailed, looking thoughtful.

"I didn't even notice it," Sora said and raised a brow.

"You pick up on the weirdest shit," the redhead said and Roxas shrugged.

"What can I say? I like details."

"Nice roar by the way," the brunette said and smiled. Axel smirked.

"Nice nothing, you weren't right in front of it," Riku spat and rubbed his face.

"Scared the shit out of me," Demyx remarked.

"Yeah and then you kicked me in the chest," Riku said.

"I didn't mean to, I tripped," Demyx shot back.

"Yeah sure, whatever," Riku huffed crankily.

"Leon's louder than I am," Axel said.

"He doesn't have as much infrasound though, that's the killer," Demyx said. The redhead shrugged.

"I've only heard it once, he usually just walks around and makes old man grunts at everyone," Axel added. Demyx nodded.

"True."

"Where is he, by the way? I haven't seen him or Cloud in like four days."

"I don't know, probably being boring somewhere," the sandy blonde said.

"Yeah but they're usually being boring here. I haven't seen them _here_ in like four days."

"That's weird. It's not like them to just not show up."

* * *

"Roxas…" Axel trailed, looking his Charge over as the blonde cruised the Charge Forum again. Roxas looked to him, raising a brow. "You don't seem very upset about leaving me," the redhead said carefully.

"I'm going to miss you, yes. But it's not like I'm never coming back," the blonde said.

"I know, I just…"

"What are you so worried about?"

"It's not so much that I'm worried about something but more like I wish you'd be a little more forthcoming."

"You don't think I'm reacting enough?"

"…Not really."

"Well what do you expect me to be doing? Bawling my eyes out? I'm going somewhere to sit in a room for twenty-three hours a day. Not doing aerial acrobatics and risking my life. It's going to be boring as fuck, not deadly."

"You're right."

"You don't seem very satisfied with that answer."

"Don't worry about it," Axel deflected. He looked at his hands and traced the lines in his palm with a finger idly. To him, Roxas wasn't as upset as he should have been. Perhaps it was the blonde's naïveté with everything but Axel was hoping for a more of an emotional response. He was beginning to feel that the hurt and the pain he was going through was very one-sided; that he was the only one in that could feel their bond. Roxas didn't seem to understand. Maybe a couple weeks away would help him realize it. That was the one train of thought that kept Axel from breaking down; that when Roxas came back, things would be better and he'd understand their closeness a little more.

"Are you sure?" the blonde asked, sounding skeptical. The redhead nodded.

"Yeah. It's just me, I guess," Axel said and gave him a forced lopsided smile. "I'm going to go lay down. I'll wait for you. Don't take too long," he added and stood. He left the tiny room where Roxas' Catalogue terminal was and the blonde watched him go into the bedroom and shove himself under the covers. Roxas furrowed his brows and chewed on his lip in thought. He couldn't understand why Axel was so upset. He expected the redhead to be a bit sad right before he left, not moping around for several days at a time. He finished reading his paragraph and disconnected his watch from the terminal before padding into the bedroom. Axel's clothes had been discarded off the side of the bed so Roxas followed suit and stripped before shoving himself under the covers as well.

"I feel like I'm missing something here, what's bothering you so much?" Roxas asked. He scooted across the bed and Axel held and arm up for him. The blonde tucked himself under his Carrier's chin and sighed when the warmth of the redhead's strong arms enveloped him, pulling him close.

"I can't really explain it," Axel said.

"You seemed prepared to just a second ago."

"Okay, well I _can_ explain it but I feel like if I have to, you aren't benefitting from it."

"Why? Is there something wrong with you that I missed?" the blonde asked, pulling away from him a few inches and looking Axel over with analytical eyes. He lifted Axel's arm and ran his hands over the skin, feeling for anything strange. He let it drop when he found nothing and started to feel the rest of him. Axel chuckled.

"I'm fine," he said and grabbed Roxas' shoulders and pulled him up the mattress so they were face to face. He smiled.

"You're sure?" the blonde questioned. Axel nodded.

"Yes."

"…I don't believe you."

"Well you should. Because I'm not lying," the redhead said and rested his forehead against the blonde's.

"What am I missing then?" Roxas asked, reaching a hand up to comb through Axel's hair. The Carrier closed his eyes with the touch.

"You'll figure it out on you own, I hope."

* * *

"You're not pregnant are you?" Leon asked flatly as he held the bag of intravenous fluid up so the line to Cloud wouldn't bend and stop the flow. The blonde had spent the better part of four days in the bathroom and needed to replenish his fluids but couldn't keep anything down. Being the loving bastard that he was, Leon decided that he should probably take a jog up to the medical supply building at the facility and pick a few bags of the nourishment for his ailing lover. When he returned though, Cloud hadn't moved from his place on the floor and Leon had to settle for hooking him up right where he was.

"Fuck you," the blonde grumbled into the toilet bowl.

"I wouldn't touch you while you're like this. Don't try it."

"Stop being an ass for three minutes."

"I still don't understand where this all is coming from. Who the fuck gets salmonella poisoning anymore?" Leon scoffed and gave the bag of fluid a squeeze.

"Humans do, twat. Just because your stomach is made of rocks and battery acid doesn't mean mine is."

"Poor sensitive baby," Leon cooed. "You're not going to die while I'm gone are you?"

"Hadn't planned on it," Cloud managed to choke out just before he started to heave again. He didn't understand where it was all coming from. There was nothing left! If he were any less of a man he'd be huddled in the corner and crying by this point. Leon ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"Maybe we are getting old," he muttered. _Your inside-out stomach and my brain tumor, god we're a mess_ , he thought. Leon felt partly responsible for Cloud's ailment, though he wouldn't freely admit it. He was the one who ate the raw chicken. Perhaps he hadn't washed his hands as well as he thought he had. It didn't matter by that point, what was done was done. It made leaving for his quarantine all that much harder though. He'd have to ask someone to come check on the blonde and make sure he didn't dehydrate into a crispy fritter on the ground. Cloud groaned and banged a fist on the toilet seat before spiting into the bowl.

"Do you realize, that if I had gotten this crippled when I was eighteen, I would've been left behind while my squad moved forward? Possibly shot beforehand so I didn't give any information out?" the blonde grumped.

"Yes, yes I do. I was there, remember?"

"I do, I also remember your hair being much shorter then too," the Charge said and reached up and flushed the toilet for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

"Ah yes. I think they still have that style in the Catalogue, actually."

"They never change anything in that thing, I wouldn't doubt it," he said and pushed himself back from the bowl a little. Cloud wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and swallowed thickly. Leon gave the bag another couple firm squeezes.

"You should see yourself, you look like shit," the Carrier remarked, garnering an upturned middle finger from his counterpart. Leon smirked. "So charming."

"Isn't that why you keep me around? For my charm and wit?"

"Of course not. Who else is going to cook for me?"

"Fuck off, bastard."

"Ouch, my aching heart," Leon said sarcastically and held a hand to his chest. He turned to the cabinet he was leaning against and opened a drawer and started digging around. "Where did you throw Theresa's hair thing?" he asked. Their daughters had a bad habit of wearing clips and other useless do dads in their hair and then littering their house with them whenever they stopped by.

"Fuck if I know," Cloud said grumpily and mashed his palms into his tired eyes.

"Such a potty mouth today," the Carrier chided. He found the giant claw clip and leaned over the cabinet and clipped the bag of fluid to the towel rack before taking a seat on the floor with his Charge. He rubbed the blonde's back.

"I hope I can at least drink something soon, this is getting old," Cloud huffed.

"Look at this way; maybe after all of this you'll finally lose all that baby fat."

"Really? Fat jokes?"

"Yes. I ran out of the other kinds. I could insult your mother, would that make you feel better?"

"Oh my god," the blonde said and smiled, holding a hand over his eyes and chuckling a little. Leon smiled as well and rubbed his back some more. Cloud's stomach let out an extremely loud unhappy snarl. "Oof," the blonde grunted and placed a hand on his gut. Leon let out an exaggerated gasp and clapped his hands.

"It kicked!" he cried sarcastically. Cloud shoved him.

"Shut up."

* * *

Xemnas wasn't happy when he arrived at the feline facility in Dome 813 and found only two of the three he was there to pick up present. He was even angrier when the ones present said that they would have to swing by 9x8b's home in order to retrieve him. Luckily, they would pass by it anyway on their way out, so it was less of a headache for him in the long run but really, who doesn't even show up for their own punishment? 4x31 and 7x295's Charge were hitching a ride as well apparently. Xemnas rolled his eyes and ushered everyone into the back of the heavy vehicle and closed the doors before walking to the front and sitting in the cabin with the driver. The vehicle itself looked like an ambulance to Roxas, only it was solid without any windows in the back and completely white. It was coated in a pearly anti-radiation sheen much like many of the other modes of transportation were in that world.

"Good lord guys, you're going to kill each other," the blonde said. Demyx had attacked Zexion once they were all in the back of the vehicle. The feverish temperament of their kissing looked very much like a precursor to a porn movie, yet they both had the sense to keep their clothing on. The busy pair ignored him and groped at each other desperately. Roxas stared at them with a bit of shock. It was the most animated he had ever seen Zexion before. Granted, they probably were floating around in their own world together but it was almost like a train wreck. It was disturbing, but one couldn't help watching it happen. Axel nudged him with a chuckle.

"Jealous?" he asked, the blonde blinked and looked up at him.

"I'm not sure," Roxas admitted honestly.

"I didn't plan on it but I _can_ jump you too if you'd like."

"No, I'm okay. I'm not one for such extreme bouts of PDA."

"Just a little PDA, then?" Axel asked and gave him a weak smile. His nerves were shot and in all truthfulness, he wanted to tackle Roxas into the ground and smother him. The blonde cast the other pair a wary glance before looking back to the redhead. He nodded some. Axel pulled his Charge into his lap and hugged him tight against his chest. Roxas grunted at the force and shifted around so he could straddle the redhead's thighs and lay against him comfortably. He wrapped his arms around Axel's neck and laid his head against his shoulder. The Carrier laid his forehead against the blonde's neck and sighed sadly.

"I'll be back," Roxas assured and fiddled with a piece of red hair. Axel's arms wove around him tighter, pulling their torsos flush against one another.

"It doesn't feel like it," the redhead said quietly.

"You turned up the sensitivity of your Signet, right?" the blonde asked. Axel nodded against his skin. "Well you can keep track of all the boring that way. I'll be okay. I have mine turned up too." Axel nodded again in acknowledgement. There was a strangled squeak from across the vehicle and Roxas and Axel looked at the other pair to see Demyx squashing his face into Zexion's chest, his shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. The Charge pet the Carrier's wild hair with closed eyes, his face solemn. Roxas wondered what he was missing. Everyone else seemed so much more upset than he felt.

"That's about how I feel right now," Axel said blandly. Roxas looked to him.

"Yeah?" he questioned. The redhead nodded.

"I'm a little better at hiding it though."

"Oh…" the blonde trailed. "I kind of feel like a dick for not being all weepy and sad, then."

"You're not sad at all?"

"Well not hysterical. I feel a little dumpy about it but I'm not going to break in half."

"Ah. Tough guy. I see how it is," Axel said and smirked. Roxas whacked him in the chest. The redhead caught the hand and pushed the palm to his face. The blonde brought his free hand up and held the face for a moment before leaning forward and giving Axel a light kiss. He rested his forehead against his Carrier's for a moment afterward and ran his thumbs over the marks on his cheeks.

"I'll be back, you just have to be patient," Roxas said.

"I'm not a very patient guy."

"I've never seen any other evidence that says you aren't."

"Yeah well…"

"Hmm?"

"When you're not around, I'm impatient."

"I see."

"It's true."

"Oh, I believe you," the blonde said, sounding incredibly skeptical. Axel furrowed his brows together but realized he was about to start to argue whether or not he was a patient person and found the idea to be rather stupid. Instead of saying anything he pressed forward and captured Roxas' lips again, but didn't let him get away with just a chaste nothingness. He moved a hand up and held the back of the blonde's head to him and deepened the kiss. Roxas gave in quickly and answered his Carrier with his tongue. After a few minutes of heated ravaging, Roxas watch started to beep, disrupting everything. They pulled away from one another just enough for him to check.

_Sexual arousal_

"Wow, that's a little strange," Roxas snorted and moved back a few inches on Axel's lap and looked down to find that the redhead was indeed ready to go.

"Yeah well, I can say the same about you," Axel said and chuckled. Roxas' cheeks pinked with the realization that he was right there with him.

"Sensitivity is a bit high," the blonde said and cleared his throat.

"Too late now."

"Yeah it is."

"If it makes you feel any better I'll think about you when I go home and jerk off," the redhead blurted and Roxas shoved him a bit before hiding his face in his hands.

"I know, right?" Demyx said from across the van as he sniffled some and sat up, wiping is eyes. Zexion gave him a watery smile.

"You both have no tact," Roxas spat from behind his palms.

"I blame their lack of parenting," Zexion said.

"Right, if my mom was here, she'd flip her lid," the blonde agreed and waited for some of the heat to leave his cheeks before taking his hands away. Axel immediately pulled his Charge to his chest again and hugged him tight. He heaved another sigh. Zexion and Demyx returned to their own little world with one another and spoke in hushed tones together. Roxas and Axel could still hear them, but the blonde was surprised to find that he couldn't understand them. He blinked and looked at them. They weren't speaking the native tongue anymore. They were speaking _German_. He gaped at them. Axel looked up and took in his Charge's surprised expression.

"What?" the redhead asked. Roxas' attention was drawn back to him. He leaned into Axel's ear.

"They're speaking German," he whispered.

"Yes, and?" Axel whispered back.

"Wh—"

"Zexion is from Germany. He's from the same plane as you and Radiant Garden but on the other side of the world and about ninety years before than your time," the redhead continued. " **If it makes you feel better, we can speak in English and they won't get it,** " he said at normal volume, and switching to the aforementioned language. Roxas' mouth hung open a bit and he brought a hand to his face.

" **I forgot English existed** ," the blonde admitted. Axel laughed.

" **Sneaky, right**?"

" **Just a bit, yeah. I'm…** " he trailed and looked thoughtful. " **I'm having a hard time remembering everything.** "

" **That's to be expected, I bet Sora is the same way**."

" **True** ," the blonde said. He felt tongue tied. He didn't even think in English anymore. Everything was in the native tongue of that world to him. The more he thought about it, the more surreal it seemed. He chewed on his lip and laid his cheek against Axel's chest again. The redhead hugged him and rubbed his back. The terrain they were traversing became smooth, telling everyone that they had reached the city streets and were almost to Cloud and Leon's house. Axel squeezed the blonde tighter.

"I'm going to miss you so fucking much," the redhead breathed into his Charge's hair, the English falling away again.

"You can sleep in my bed if it'll make you feel better," the blonde offered.

"I had planned on it actually. It smells like you."

"Don't be a creeper now."

"Well it's true. I can't help it. I like your smell."

"...Is it bad that I can't register that you have a specific smell?"

"Not really."

"Axel smells like a pile of sweaty tigers," Demyx piped.

"Not _that_ smell, ass," Axel barked and sent his friend a glare. Roxas smiled.

"I like that one though. It tells me 'Job well done, Roxas. Time to take a nap,'" he said simply. Demyx snorted a laughed a little. Axel's cheeks turned a light pink and he buried his face into Roxas' neck again. The blonde pet his hair.

"Not to mention the _scream_ that comes with it," Demyx teased.

"Demyx, I swear to god if you don't stop I'm throwing you under the tires," Axel warned grumpily. Roxas chuckled. Zexion nudged his Carrier a bit, but couldn't hide his smile.

" **I like that too** ," Roxas said in English.

" **At least one of us does** ," Axel huffed. Demyx furrowed his brows at them but turned back to Zexion to distract himself.

" **Can I ask a really stupid question I should have asked a long long time ago**?"

" **Sure.** "

" **…Where are we? All this talk about English and other places made me think a bit more about where I am now. I know I'm in a** …" he trailed, trying to think of the English equivalent.

" **A dome** ," Axel finished for him.

" **Right, but I don't know what the world is called. You'd think I would have asked this like a billion years ago.** "

" **It's still Earth. It hasn't changed. The domes replaced the cities and certain clusters of them have names like countries but there's really not a whole lot going on outside of that.** "

" **Oh. What's the language then**?"

" **Earth. Just like the world. Back in the day a bunch of hippies decided that they could hear the words of the ground after the nukes dropped and they started speaking what they could 'hear' I guess. All I know is that everyone speaks the same thing now. There isn't a need for different languages when the entire planet needs to work together to rebuild it. Only Carriers and Charges use the varying languages outside of this world, this plane.** "

"Huh…" Roxas trailed. "I feel weird. I was born into English and here I am, half understanding what you're saying."

"Yeah well, it's hard for me to forget stuff," Axel said. The momentum of the vehicle started to slow until it stopped completely. Demyx let out a squeak and shoved Zexion into his chest protectively. The van shook as Xemnas exited the front cabin and slammed the door behind him. Axel took Roxas' face in his hands and looked him over closely, memorizing every hair and every pore. The blonde was a little shocked with how absolutely crushed his Carrier's expression looked. Roxas pushed forward out of his hands and brought their lips together again and Axel wrapped his arms around him tightly.

* * *

Leon reached up and pulled the various pieces of Cloud's golden hair into some semblance of order again. He sighed as his efforts were in vain and the bed head remained ever defiant. His Charge looked horrid. Not that Leon cared, but he didn't want to the blonde to embarrass himself. Cloud had finally stopped expelling things from his body from various orifices and had spent most of the day in bed recuperating. Occasionally he would have to rush into the bathroom again but so far, he was doing better. Leon felt a little better about leaving because of it, but he still didn't want to. Cloud never uttered a word of blame towards him for possibly contaminating him and Leon appreciated it but he still felt a bit guilty.

"In theory, Zexion and Axel will be here shortly," Leon said and ran his fingers through Cloud's hair. He had deposited the blonde on the bed again and the Charge hadn't moved much from his haphazard positioning on his stomach. Cloud groggily pulled his face to the side to look at his Carrier through glossy half lidded eyes. Leon crouched next to the bed and raised a brow at him.

"Goody, babysitters," Cloud huffed. Leon smirked. Downstairs, there was a loud banging on the front door and Xemnas could be heard calling for Leon by his model number through the windows. The Carrier leaned forward and planted a firm kiss on his Charge's clammy forehead before standing again. Cloud's arm shot up and grabbed his hand before he had a chance to get very far.

"Hmm?" Leon acknowledged and looked to him.

"Be safe," the blonde said quietly and stroked the hand with his thumb. Leon gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I will. You do the same."

* * *

Demyx was clinging to Zexion something fierce. Roxas sat on the floor of the vehicle with his feet dangling off the back. The doors were wide open and he considered what would happen if he made a break for it. The driver, a very large burly man stood off to the side making sure that wouldn't happen without some sort of physical consequence. Axel was already out of the van and running his hands over his Charge's face and shoulders, getting one last feel before they were separated. The blonde finally had had enough petting and grabbed the redhead's wrists and pulled him close again. They hugged each other again, waiting until the last possible second to let go.

"Dem…you have to let me go," Zexion pleaded with his lover and tried to pry him off. He really didn't want to think of what would happen if Xemnas lost his patience. "Leon needs me to look after Cloud while he's gone."

" _Zexiooooon_ …" Demyx whined and held steady. The Charge sighed; Demyx was making things so much harder on them both. Zexion didn't want to say goodbye either but prolonging things wasn't helping.

"Let go of him Demyx," Leon ordered suddenly from the open doors. Xemnas came up behind him, checking things off of his tablet idly.

"Come on now, I don't have all day," the Technician ordered.

"Dem, please," Zexion asked. The sandy blonde gave him a firm yank towards himself and pulled his Charge's face down for one last kiss. Axel heaved a sigh and pulled away from Roxas. The blonde looked up at him and his heart twisted uncomfortably when he realized how finite everything was becoming.

"I'll see you later," the redhead said and ran a thumb over his Charge's cheek. Roxas nodded. Axel leaned down for one more kiss and the blonde didn't hesitate. Leon hefted himself into the van and plopped into an available spot on the bench, crossing his arms over his chest grumpily. Zexion finally wiggled away from Demyx and hopped out of the vehicle, leaving his Carrier with tears streaming down his face. Axel begrudgingly pulled back from Roxas and nudged the blonde back into the van again. Xemnas moved forward and shoved Axel back more so he could slam the doors shut in one quick movement. The redhead glared at the man and considered punching him, but decided to spare himself additional punishment.

"Get back to work," Xemnas ordered over his shoulder as he locked the doors and rounded the side, heading back to his seat in the cabin. The driver followed him and all too quickly came the sounds of the front doors opening and closing again before the van started to pull away without another word.

Zexion and Axel stood together silently, watching the vehicle leave. Once it rounded the corner, heading for the gate, they looked at each other and heaved tandem empty sighs.

"It's only temporary," Zexion said, attempting to reassure them both.

"But it's going to feel like a lifetime," Axel said flatly.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

Roxas understood how depressed Demyx was, he really did. He knew Demyx had the longest time in quarantine in front of him and that he was probably the one with the closest bond to his Charge of the trio. Cloud and Leon had been together far longer, but they also had children and other Carriers to distract them and fill their world. Demyx only had Zexion for ninety years. There wasn't anything additional to help them fill the void so they filled it with each other. The blonde knew it. He understood it. But after an hour of listening to Demyx blubber on in the corner of the van, he was about ready to punch him in the balls and tell him to suck it up. He didn't though. He figured that'd be too heartless.

Leon was… silent. Roxas thought for over twenty minutes that the stoic Carrier had fallen asleep, but he hadn't and moved around just enough to prove it. The air was awkward and the blonde desperately wanted to break the atmosphere. He thought again on how he was obviously missing something with how not-hysterical he was. Leon didn't seem to be very upset, but Roxas could barely understand the man anyway so he couldn't be too sure. Demyx was blatantly obvious with his emotions all the time while Leon acted like a log most days. The polar opposite in their personalities was an interesting tidbit, but not enough to keep Roxas occupied. He eventually mustered up the gumption to break the silence.

"So, Axel told me that the quarantine place and procedures has changed in the last twenty years. How so?" the blonde asked to either party. Demyx stopped crying just enough to hiccup and snort back a glob of mucus.

"I dunno," the sandy blonde said and wiped at his face.

"Apparently they don't separate Charges and Carriers anymore, and instead of a half hour three times a day for meals, they let you out once for one hour," Leon said flatly.

"…We only get one meal?" Roxas asked.

"Right."

"Well that sucks," the blonde huffed.

"Personally I think it's more dangerous to let Carriers in with the Charges. Do me a favor and stick to either Demyx or myself while you're out. I don't need Axel jumping me when we get back because you got a bruise somewhere."

"Why would Axel jump you?"

"Because you're like his Holy Grail, if you haven't noticed," Leon said and smirked.

"I am?" Roxas asked curiously.

"Of course. Why wouldn't you be? You're his Charge."

"Yeah I get that part, but I didn't think I was 'Holy Grail' material."

"If Roxas is Axel's Holy Grail, Zexion is my… my…" Demyx trailed as his eyes started to water again. "I can't even think of anything to compare him to, that's how much he means to me," he finished and sniffled loudly. "Leon, will you hold me?" he asked timidly. Leon snorted.

"No," he said.

"Bu—"

"No."

"Roxas?" Demyx asked. The blonde hesitated.

"Roxas doesn't want your snot either," Leon answered for him. It was true; Roxas didn't feel entirely comfortable trying to comfort Demyx.

"You guys suck," the sandy blonde huffed and hugged his knees to his chest.

* * *

"You really need to shower, my friend," Axel said and leaned over Cloud. The taller blonde was still face first on his bed, coated in a layer of sweat and unpleasant things. He had obviously had a rough last few days but the redhead had managed to wiggle a sticky arm out from under him and hook him up to another line of intravenous fluid. Cloud let the limb hang loosely off the side of the bed, his fingers trailing onto the floor like dead weight.

"Fmrrgg…" Cloud grumbled into his pillow. Axel raised a brow and looked to Zexion who shrugged. The taller blonde sighed and turned his face just enough to speak clearly. "Fuck off and die," he said grumpily and replaced his face in the fabric.

"Sorry, can't do that. You might feel better if you like…brush your teeth and get cleaned up a little," Axel said. Cloud lifted his free arm just enough to extend his middle finger and let it flop back onto the bed. The redhead sighed and rubbed his brows.

"Did you want us to do _anything_ other than make sure you don't die?" Zexion asked. Cloud shook his head and said nothing. "Fine. We'll be downstairs then, knock on the floor if you need something." Axel rolled his eyes and made his way to the door. Zexion followed suit but they both stopped when there was a metallic ' _clack_ ' against the floor. They turned to see a set of keys sitting on the tile and Cloud awkwardly turned on his side from when he had thrown them across the room. He shifted and stuck his hand in the pocket of his pants and produced his wallet and groggily flicked a plastic card at them as well.

"Go out and do something," the taller blonde said. "House key is the biggest one on the ring, touch my bike and you're both dead. You can have a two thousand Credit limit each. Just leave me alone for a bit," he grumbled and flopped back onto the bed with a tired groan. Zexion went to retrieve the keys and card. He looked them over and then looked to Axel, who shrugged. They left quietly and locked up behind themselves.

"That was weird," Axel remarked.

"I agree, what did you want to do?" Zexion asked.

"I have no fucking idea. You're asking a Carrier what he wants to do with a night out on the town?"

"Or afternoon out on the town? It's only about one o'clock."

"Whatever. I have no idea what to do."

"Me either."

* * *

Silence again. The terrain underneath their cubicle of a vehicle had turned rather bumpy and the trio in the back was being tossed around since they lacked the proper safety restraints. Roxas simply settled for sitting on the floor since it was better than being thrown to it when they crashed over a bump. Leon glared at the wall, holding onto his seat with a sigh and strong fingers. Demyx tried to squish himself in the corner to give him the least amount of wiggle room to be thrown around in. Eventually, the terrain calmed again and the vehicle came to a stop, presumably at the gate of another dome.

"Which dome do you think they're taking us to?" Roxas asked.

"Dome 815, just a couple away from ours," Leon said. They had been driving for over three hours and the blonde was surprised that the dome was so close in number yet so far away. Then again, he remembered, that he didn't know exactly how fast they were going or what the actual distance was so he couldn't say a whole lot.

Another quiet hour passed as the vehicle went through the processes at the gate and smooth driving through the city streets. Roxas wished he had a window to look out of and see the buildings they were passing but he assumed they would look the same as all the other ones he had seen. The longer they drove, the grimmer Demyx's expression became. He was no longer crying, as he had run out of tears, but the realization that he was going to be locked in the square for four weeks without any open areas to run in was frightening. The fact that Zexion wouldn't be there to help him with it made it so much worse. He wanted to cry. Instead, he was slowly feeling emptier and his mind was heading into a dark place that he knew he shouldn't be going. He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes.

The vehicle came to a stop again. It shook as Xemnas and the driver exited the front cabin and slammed their doors closed. The trio was left in the back for another twenty minutes before the doors flew open and all three squinted against the light. A series of bodies rushed in and pulled them all out of the van harshly as if they were resisting, yet nobody was. Roxas was shoved along by a pair of strong hands holding his wrists behind his back. His eyes slowly became adjusted to the light and he took in what amounted to an enormous gray block of a building. The outside was completely solid, save for the entrance. There were no windows, and Roxas feared for a lack of ventilation. He hoped there would be vents that led to the roof or something; the last thing he wanted was to suffocate in his sleep.

The three were separated once inside the building. Leon was shoved one way, Demyx another, and Roxas was last but headed straight down the hallway. The inside was just as gray and bland as the outside with hardly any separation between the floors, walls, and ceilings. Instead of being pushed into his room right away, the blonde was brought through another series of doors and plopped into a cushioned chair in the middle of an empty room. He was left by himself for all of twenty seconds before Xemnas came in and started to pace around him.

"You understand why you're here?" the man asked as he looked through his tablet.

"Not really," the blonde admitted.

"Yet you came with no resistance. Excellent. I don't need to explain anything additional then," Xemnas said and circled him more. "I don't know what you know about quarantine but I'm going to use you and several other Charges for a bit of a test."

"Wait, what? A test?"

"Oh yes. You don't need to do anything special. Just keep breathing. The Carriers are the real subjects in this. You see, I've developed my own line of…products that need to be tested before they're sent out to market. I will leave you be for a while to adjust but after then, the testing will begin. Do your best."

"Wait, I don't understand."

"You don't have to, just keep breathing."

"Tell me what's going on! What are you testing?"

"You don't have to understand. Just keep breathing," Xemnas repeated and gave the blonde a sinister smile.

"You can't just test shit on people without their consent! There're morals to these things! Ethics!" Roxas protested, giving the man his hardest glare. Xemnas laughed.

"You're not getting anything. The Carriers are. Carriers aren't people. Everything I'm doing is perfectly legal. I know my rights."

"Rights? You have rights to pull this shit?"

"It's my facility! I can do whatever I damn well please, child. Don't make this any harder on yourself than it has to be. I hope for your Carrier's sake that you didn't leave the sensitivity of your Signet on too high."

"Wh—" the air caught in Roxas' throat as he gaped at the man wordlessly.

"I take it that you did? That's a shame," the Technician cooed.

"Why? What's going to happen to Axel?" the blonde asked quietly, the color leaving his face.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," Xemnas said simply.

"I don't believe you."

"It's the truth. Anyway, your briefing is finished. I'll send someone in to take you to your room," the man said and made his way out. Roxas stared blankly at the floor. He still didn't understand what was happening and he hoped Xemnas would leave him alone long enough so he could ask Leon or Demyx what the hell was going on.

* * *

Axel leaned on a shelf and drummed his fingers idly. Everything he saw and everything he thought had something to do with Roxas and how much he missed the little bastard. He didn't know what to do with himself. He and Zexion had wandered the city aimlessly and the only thing they purchased was dinner. Neither of them could think of anything to do with the mild freedom Cloud had given to them and they eventually ended up at Yuffie's tailor shop just because they didn't know where else to go. The girl was happy to see them and they made idle chit chat for a while before the topic turned to Cloud and his ailment. She had left them both at the front and skittered off to the back to rummage through her homeopathic remedies to see if she had something that would help.

"Maybe if we call Tifa she'll come over and squash Cloud into her breasts until he feels better. She did that to me when I was sick and it worked once I fell asleep on her," Axel said blandly. Zexion snorted.

"Natural pillows. There could be a market for that," the Charge said.

"True enough. We could take pictures and save them for when Leon gets back," the redhead said.

"That's just wrong. He wouldn't want to come back to that."

"But, it would be hilarious."

"Possibly. Then he would probably follow up the hilarity by breaking your legs."

"Ah. Yes. That too."

"Okay!" Yuffie called and came around the corner with an armful of tiny glass bottles. She leaned down and let them all fall out of her arms with a loud clatter onto the countertop between the computer terminals. "So, I have stuff to help the nausea and the cramping," she said and picked up the biggest bottle which was empty and started to mix things together in it with eye droppers from the other bottles.

"He smells too, do you have anything for that?" Axel quipped.

"…A shower?" Yuffie suggested and grinned.

"He's also being an asshole, how about a sedative?"

"Just bash him on the back of his head for that."

"I was hoping to not have to touch him too much."

"Use a chair," the woman said simply and pushed a rubber plug into the bottle she was working with and started to shake it to make sure everything was mixed well enough. Once she was finished she pulled the plug out and twisted on a top with an eyedropper attached. She handed the bottle to Axel. "Three drops in eight ounces of water every two hours. He should feel better soon and maybe then he can take care of his smell and possibly his assholeishness."

"I doubt that, only Leon gets him to stop being an asshole," Axel said and looked at the bottle for a second before stuffing it in his pocket.

* * *

Roxas was shoved harshly into his room and he tripped forward a few feet but managed to not fall. The door was shut quickly behind him and he was left to himself. He looked around and saw that there wasn't much to see. He was in a gray cube of a room. There was a flat, hardly inviting bed on one side and a metal toilet on the other with a sink attached to the back of it. There was a roll of toilet tissue on the floor next to it. The lighting was dim, and just enough to see where the larger objects in the room were but not much else. There was a vent though, he was relieved to see, up in the top corner of one of the walls. It was small and Roxas doubted its efficiency but so long as he could breathe, he was okay with that. The most unsettling thing about his room was that there was a drain in the middle of the floor. Who needs a drain in their bedroom? He wasn't planning on missing the toilet _that_ horribly.

On his bed, was a set of beige clothes much like the ones Axel and the other Carrier's wore. No underwear, just a shirt and shorts. Next to that was a bar of soap, and a toothbrush and toothpaste. He did notice that he had control of the light by way of a button next to the door. At least he had that luxury. It really was a cell overall. He wondered if he was even allowed to bathe during his stay. No one had ever mentioned it but they had given him a bar of soap. He sighed. He figured it'd all come to him eventually. He tested the bed, pressing down on the lumpy mattress and feeling its worthlessness. He could feel the springs underneath it easily and summed it up as more of a pad on a metal box spring rather than anything fit to lie on. The pillow was just about as insignificant and he lacked a blanket. Already he was wishing he wasn't there and instead curled up on his own bed with Axel for a space heater.

Axel. Roxas realized he hadn't thought about the redhead since he got there. Not that he had been there very long, but once he realized how real and tangible everything was becoming, he felt a pain in his chest. He missed his Carrier. He truly did. He just had to remember that the situation was temporary and he would see the redhead again soon. Soon? Fourteen days. It was a long time when one didn't have anything to do. The Technicians had let him keep everything he brought, which amounted to his clothing and his watch but neither of those things were very entertaining. He ran a hand through his hair and gathered the things off of the 'bed' and set them on the floor. He couldn't tell if it was clean because the light was so dim, but the room didn't smell strange so he figured it was alright. He tentatively lay out on the pad and tried to get comfortable. He wasn't getting very far and muttered angrily at the thing before settling for lying flat on his back and staring at the ceiling.

* * *

"No!" Demyx screamed and kicked his strong legs at anyone who dared come near him. There were several sets of brawny human hands holding his arms but he would be damned if anyone was going to grab his legs. Xemnas hadn't told him anything. He was carted off of the van and manhandled into a tiny room where he sat for an hour doing nothing. Suddenly there were people everywhere and Xemnas looming over them all with a syringe. Demyx didn't know what was going on, but he didn't like it and resisted.

"Hold still, you're not going to get away so you may as well submit," Xemnas said calmly as he flicked the plastic tube to make any air bubbles come to the needle to be squeezed out. The sandy blonde flailed and wrenched his shoulders, forcing the people holding him to stumble and regroup. Their hold never loosened though and he was quickly pulled back to where he was before.

"Fuck off! Get away from me!" he screamed.

"You have no power over me, creature. Just take your medicine like a good little kitty and we won't have any issues," Xemnas chided and waited off to the side for Demyx to tire out. The Carrier didn't relent. Another group of people came in and attempted to restrain his legs. A couple managed to lay a hand on him but Demyx was able to swing his hips around and crack one in the jaw with his foot. The man let out a howling scream and backed away, holding his face. When he pulled his hands away himself, his jaw was hanging at a sickeningly unnatural angle and blood was pouring from his mouth. Xemnas sighed and left the room quickly. The other people never let go though and Demyx booted another in the face, forcing blood to spurt from his nose.

"What are you people doing! Don't you have any fucking souls?" the sandy blonde cried. The men holding him didn't respond and their expressions never changed from anything other than blank stares. Only their grunts of effort to restrain him and the occasional sneer gave any indication that they were people rather than robots. Demyx was horrified. Xemnas came in again, carrying a metal case and what looked to be rifle, with the syringe between his teeth. He set the case down and opened it. He pulled out several darts and began to stuff them into the back end of the rifle before standing and kicking it to the side. He took the syringe from between his teeth to speak.

"Hold him, idiots," he ordered and the hands on Demyx's arms tightened despite his efforts to break free. Xemnas took aim for the Carrier's torso and with a loud click and a puff of air the darts flew across the room and stuck into the sandy blonde's stomach. Demyx screamed and tried to wiggle enough to shake them free but he couldn't get the momentum. Xemnas tossed the rifle to the side by the case and waited. Slowly, the feeling in Demyx's legs drained away and his body started to feel incredibly heavy. He wasn't drowsy or incoherent, but his limbs became like jelly and he was dropped to the floor once he couldn't move anymore. Xemnas approached him quietly.

"Go…away…" the Carrier choked through partially unresponsive vocal chords. The Technician laughed and gave him no warning before sticking the syringe in his arm and injecting him with whatever it was that he had. Demyx grunted at the pinch but couldn't move to do anything about it. The people around the room started to pick him up and he was half carried half dragged out of the room and down the hall to the next room where he was dropped to the floor again. Everyone left the room and the door was slammed shut before being locked.

From his position on the floor, Demyx could tell he was in an empty room. The walls and floors were just like the rest of the building, gray and blank. On one wall, there was a window though and the room behind it was pitch black. After a moment of waiting, his limbs started to tingle as the feeling returned. A light clicked behind the window and Xemnas could be seen, tablet in hand, and pulling a stool across the room. He sat in front of the window and waited, watching carefully. The door behind the Carrier opened and there was a yelp as someone else was shoved into the room with him before the door closed again. Shoes clattered across the floor as whoever it was tripped.

"Hey…" a female voice called and she crossed the room to him and knelt by his face. Demyx's head was lifted a bit and his gaze turned to her. "Are you okay?" she asked kindly. "You're a Carrier, right?"

"Who…?" the sandy blonde asked groggily. His limbs were returning to him and he was able to wiggle his fingers and toes a bit.

"My name is Mary," she said and gave him a worried smile. She was adorable. She had big brown eyes and wavy black hair that hung past her shoulders. Her face was round and cherub-like with very pinchable cheeks. She was dressed in bland beige clothing, much like he was, but she was distinctly human. She was someone's Charge.

"Demyx," he said and tested his arms. He was able to push himself up some and pull his legs under himself so he could sit. His head started to swim and his vision blurred a bit but he blinked it away.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked.

"I dunno…I was down the hall, and Xemnas injected me with something, two somethings really…" he trailed and rubbed his head. "It's making me feel weird. I wouldn't stay near me. I don't know what it is."

"Oh…" Mary said and looked him over cautiously. Demyx's eyes started to get heavy and he blinked some more. His arm was beginning to hurt where Xemnas had stuck him and a slow burning sensation crept along his skin. He rubbed the limb. Mary stared at his face curiously for a minute, brows furrowed.

"What?" he asked.

"Your eyes are shifting colors. Are you feeling okay?" she asked, watching Demyx's eyes blink through several colors every few seconds. The sandy blonde let out a bitter laugh.

"Oh, fan-fucking-tastic," he said. "You wouldn't happen to have a dick would you?" he asked and Mary scowled.

"No…"

"Ah well, okay. I won't hold it against you," he said grumpily. He shivered, despite his skin being on fire. His heart rate sped up and he could feel it pound against his temples. Mary stood and started to back away from him, obviously scared by this point. Xemnas was busy writing away on his tablet, with a blank face.

"Don't hurt me, please," Mary squeaked. Demyx laughed.

"I'm…" he started but the rest of his words were silenced behind loud groan as it suddenly felt like his innards were being pulled out through his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut and held his stomach, leaning forward until his forehead rested against the cold floor.

"Demyx?" Mary asked, sounding worried. He couldn't bring himself to respond though and tried to pull himself away from her, just in case. He reached the wall and started to pant. He felt he needed to otherwise he was going to overheat and explode into a puddle of boiling flesh. They were slow ragged breaths that didn't help in the least. Suddenly his body lurched forward and he coughed loudly as he began to vomit all over the floor and himself. Mary winced and tried to look away. Xemnas made no move to help and the female Charge looked through the window at him, horrified that he could be so calm.

"S-stay away from me…" Demyx stuttered after he was finished regurgitating. He kept his eyes closed and pulled his soiled shirt from over his head and tossed it in the puddle. Once the battle in his digestive tract subsided some, he pried his eyes open. He stared ahead of himself for a long moment, trying to concentrate on what he felt. His skin was tingling all over much like it had when he had tested Leon's drug, but he didn't feel the emptiness inside. The one he needed Zexion (or anyone) to fill. His body shuddered again and he looked to Mary. She was pressed against the wall as flat as she could be with wide frightened eyes.

"…Demyx? Are you okay?" she asked quietly. To Demyx, she looked like the most delicious thing in the world. His mind clouded over and all of his other senses were obliterated. He wanted her, to take her, and make her scream beneath him. He needed her. Now.

"Mary," he said and stood. The girl shrunk away and started to skitter off to the opposite side of the room. Something in her frantic movements just tickled Demyx to no end and he chased after her, pinning her to the wall and looming over her. Mary gaped up at him as his eyes shifted wildly through every color imaginable. She was speechless. The sandy blonde eyed her through hungry lenses and thrust his hips forward against her, to show her just how hungry he was. She screamed and tried to worm away from, pushing at his chest feebly. He grabbed her arms and held them over her head with one hand and leaned in close to smell her fear through her pulse. It sent a shiver down his spine and he loved it.

"No! Demyx please! Don't!" she pleaded and tried to pull her face away from him. He used his free hand to run over her chest and down her body. She screamed again and tried to kick at him but she didn't get very far. The more she resisted, the more insistent he became and after a few minutes of struggling, she understood how futile it was to fight against someone who was so much stronger than she was. Tears poured out of her eyes and she let out a wailing sob. Demyx didn't falter and grabbed the tops of her shorts and gave them a firm yank, ripping them away at the seams easily. She screamed again as she was exposed and attempted to pull her legs up and keep herself somewhat covered.

Demyx was quick to dispose of the last of his own clothing. Once he was fully exposed before her and his intent was clear, Mary's cries became more hysterical and her struggling increased. The Carrier dropped her, and she did exactly what he wanted her to do, she ran across the room. The thrill of the chase was almost enough to force the sandy blonde to climax right there he was so giddy. He went after her and she was barely able to make it halfway across before she was tackled into the ground and pinned beneath him. Demyx couldn't hold himself back anymore and pried her legs apart from behind and held them open firmly for himself. Mary screamed again.

Through it all, Xemnas never moved, never spoke a word. He simply sat behind the window, and watched curiously.

* * *

Zexion nearly shot out of his skin in surprise when his watch started to wail a series of incoherent beeps at him. Axel quirked a brow as he descended the staircase with the empty glass that used to hold Cloud's medicine. He dropped it off in the kitchen and went to sit with the Charge on the couch. Zexion's eyes widened at the enormous list of things that was suddenly wrong with Demyx. Axel leaned over to peek.

_Elevated respiration_

_Instinct threshold pushing limit_

_Implant/Primal manner interchanging_

_Predatory instinct peaked_

_Extreme emotional distress_

_Fever_

_Excessive perspiration_

_Excessive vomiting_

_Self control malfunction_

_Loss of Implant free will_

_Sexual arousal_

_Chase instinct initiated in Implant state_

_Foreign antigens in cranial cavity_

_Link distortion_

_Electrical frequency fluctuating_

"Demyx?" Zexion asked to no one in particular.

"What the fuck? What are they doing over there?" Axel gasped. He was suddenly incredibly worried for Roxas.

"I have no idea…there's nothing I can do for him…" the Charge trailed, his concern evident. Axel furrowed his brows.

"Let's report it to Ansem," the redhead offered and stood. Zexion nodded shakily.

* * *

According to his watch, Roxas knew it was the next day. He hadn't slept, he hadn't eaten, he barely used the bathroom, but he did a lot of pacing. He paced back and fourth in his room over and over again, ignoring his impossibly uncomfortable bed and thinking about Axel. He wondered what the redhead was doing. Zexion said something about taking care of Cloud but the blonde didn't think to ask if Axel was doing that as well, or what the problem was. He was beginning to go stir crazy with the lack of sunlight and people to talk to. He chastised himself relentlessly. It was only one day!

The time ticked on at a disgustingly slow pace. He groaned at his watch and yawned a bit. He was tired, hungry, and cranky. Not a very good combination. Suddenly his door was pulled open and a man was standing in the doorway.

"Meal," came a rumbling voice, shattering the silence abruptly. Roxas went to him but was wrenched out of the room harshly and tugged down the hall.

"What the hell? I can walk!" he barked but the hand on him didn't falter. There were several others being pulled from their rooms as well and slowly the hall started to fill with bodies. One by one people filtered down the narrow space and around the corner into a large open room in the center of the building. A cafeteria. It looked similar to the one at the facility but there were far more people milling about inside. Mostly men, Roxas noticed, though the occasional woman could be seen.

"Roxas!" Leon called and shoved himself through the crowd to the blonde. The Charge blinked at him. Leon was wearing a collar with a digital screen on it that looked like the one he had on his watch. The screen read, in big bold lettering, '9x8b.'

"Nice necklace," the blonde snorted. Leon rolled his eyes.

"They have to tell us apart somehow I suppose," he said blandly.

"I'm just happy to be out of my room for a minute."

"Me too. Have you seen Demyx? I can't find him."

"No. I just got here."

"Ah. Well we can get something to eat, I'm sure he'll be by shortly," the Carrier assured and nudged him towards the food line. Being human, Roxas didn't get much of a look and was presented with a tray of unmentionable globs of 'food.' Leon, on the other hand, had to be entered into a database to see what kind of Totem he had and what his meal should be. The Carrier tried to simply tell the staff what he was but they wouldn't listen to him and made him wait through the entire process. A tray of hardly fresh meat cubes was shoved into Leon's hands and he was sent on his way.

"What the hell?" Roxas asked as he took in the strange brownish-red color of the meat. It didn't look very healthy. Leon shrugged.

"I didn't plan on eating very much anyway. It isn't spoiled just yet, but it's working on it," he scoffed.

As they wandered around trying to find a couple seats that were together, Roxas took in the crowd. It was obvious to him which were Charges and which were Carriers because all the Carriers had collars that displayed their model numbers. Everyone generally looked displeased with the quality of their meals and were picking at them rather than eating them. Roxas felt he was going to be losing some weight during his stay there. He spied a head of pink hair in the back and was reminded of the Charge Forum post he had received.

"Hey, I want to see something let's head back there," Roxas said and motioned towards the hair. Leon shrugged and followed after him. Luckily there were several open seats around Marluxia, the androgynous Carrier Roxas recognized from the pictures he had seen. He slid into a seat, happy to find a distraction finally and Leon plopped next to him. The rosy Carrier had a bowl of what looked to be grain and seeds in front of him, which he was ignoring. Roxas grinned, trying to hold back his laughter. Leon raised a brow at him. "Marluxia?" the blonde asked. The Carrier's attention was grabbed immediately and he looked up.

"Do I know you?" he asked. He looked Roxas over and he looked Leon over. Then he looked Leon's meal over and sat a bit straighter, giving the other Carrier a leery gaze. Leon smirked.

"I don't like my chicken with human parts mixed in, you're fine," Leon assured. Marluxia wasn't convinced.

"How do you know my name?" he demanded, his deep blue eyes shifting back to the blonde. Roxas pushed his spoon through the glop on his tray and took a cautious sniff. It didn't smell like much, and when he took a taste, it didn't taste like much either. He figured it was better than nothing and started to eat.

"I talked to your Charge on the Charge Forum and she said you would be here the same time I was," the blonde explained.

"Celia?" the Carrier asked, his tone brightening some.

"Yeah. She's really pretty," the blonde said, remembering the strawberry blonde with emerald eyes clearly. It also helped that she had breasts that could rival Tifa's but the blonde didn't think that was something he should bring up in general conversation. Marluxia smiled a bit.

"Thank you, I like to think I picked a good one. You are…?"

"I'm Roxas," he said and looked to Leon who was wrinkling his nose at his meal disdainfully. The blonde nudged him and he looked over.

"Hm? Oh. I'm Leon," he amended quickly and returned back to his questionable food.

"Well, you already know who I am apparently. Was there something you needed from me specifically? Or were you just curious to see if I really existed?" Marluxia questioned. Roxas shrugged.

"I have a whole mess of random questions for you, honestly. If you'll humor me. But what I want to know most of all is why you're here. Celia said that you're here for no actual reason. Is that true?" the blonde asked.

"That's about the gist of it. I asked a few others why they were here and some had legitimate reasons but a lot of them were like me, and didn't have much of one. A small argument with a Tech here, a completely understandable accident there, and suddenly they find themselves with unreasonable quarantines. I'm here for four weeks, just because I argued a point with one of Xemnas' subordinates," Marluxia said. Roxas' mouth dropped open in shock. Leon raised a brow at him as well.

"Four weeks? What the fuck? Did you at least punch someone?" Roxas asked. Marluxia chuckled.

"I wish I had. I've been here for two days already. I noticed there are a lot more Carriers here now, than when I first arrived as well. Not as many Charges though, which is fine with me. I worry about you guys as it is, being mixed in with us and some of the hot heads around here."

"When I first got here, Xemnas 'briefed' me on what I was to be doing while I was here. Apparently he's testing some new something or other that he's made. He's using the Carriers for it but my job as a Charge is to 'just keep breathing,' or so he told me."

"Really?" Marluxia questioned.

"Yeah, maybe that's why there's so many more Carriers here all of a sudden. He needs more test subjects."

"He hasn't tried anything with me yet, thankfully."

"Maybe that's where Demyx is," Leon said and turned in his seat to scan the crowd again.

"Oh shit, that's a good point," Roxas said.

"Demyx is a friend I assume? Marluxia asked. The blonde nodded.

"Hopefully he'll be along soon so I don't have to crack some heads together," Leon growled as he turned back to his tray. He flicked a piece of meat around on it and furrowed his brows together in concentration. Roxas chewed on his lip.

He was suddenly feeling incredibly worried.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Quarantine was described to Roxas in a little more detail during the rest of his meal period. Apparently, it was a system of punishment devised by Xemans himself. The facilities, the ideas, the procedures, everything was his jurisdiction and under his rule. Now, that doesn't mean that it's a new concept that had been thought up in the last hundred years or so, no, it's been around for almost as long as the Carrier Program has. Once the Committee figured out how easy it was to manipulate Carriers by threatening their Charges in some way (and vice versa) it was a no brainer what the best way of doling out general punishment would be.

Quarantine, as unhappy as it was, was a slap on the wrist compared to some of the other types of punishment there were. The proverbial time out for the proverbial toddler, as it were. It used to be in the old days that Carriers were simply killed for whatever crimes they may have committed. Well, back in the old days the Technicians were creating Carriers from common strains of DNA that were relatively easy to acquire. Now, they were dealing with the more complex and rare strains, and thus the law was changed once the government understood how un-cost effective killing a rare species was. It's illegal to kill Carriers now. Anything else was fair game.

Xemnas understood that. He knew how to work the system to his advantage. Carriers weren't people yet according to human society. There were no laws protecting them from someone coming in and breaking a leg, or a neck, or an arm. There were no laws protecting them from being used as test subjects from Xemnas' sick games and chemicals. So long as the Carrier didn't die, who cared? The Charges cared, of course, but no one paid them any heed. They weren't even of that plane, why should the natives give a damn?

If anything, once the laws went into affect saying it was illegal to kill Carriers, they lost even more rights. Early in the Program it was acceptable for a Carrier to go out and have friendships with humans if they so desired. Not that many humans actually _wanted_ to talk to them, but they were allowed to. Now, the concept was completely taboo and the human society would treat any Carrier sympathizer like the scum of the Earth. Carriers could leave their domes in the old days if they wanted to. They could go out and see a movie if they cared to, or fly on a plane like anyone else. Now, they're separated almost completely from the general public to prevent any temptation that may arise to commit heinous acts with the mindset of 'well, they won't kill me even if I do rape that nun.'

At hearing all of this, Roxas wondered if it was 'legal' for a Carrier to go out and kill someone. He knew some Carriers that went out of control with no hope of repair were often euthanized but that didn't exactly equate to killing a Carrier for committing a crime. He then wondered if the Carriers even realized how much power they actually had. Thousands of years of beat downs and rules and regulations and telling them that they're worthless told him that no, they probably didn't know it. He wondered who the first Carrier was, and if that one was still alive. If he/she was, do they realize how much hold they have? Do they understand how much society has changed over the years? Were they grandfathered into the new laws or were they killed to prevent an uprising?

It would be so easy if they could coordinate the various facilities together to start a revolt. Even if there were just as many Technicians as there were Carriers, the sheer strength behind the non-humans would be massive. Roxas bet that if the apex predators went around their domes on a rampage and started killing everyone that treated them like garbage, no one would know what to do. History had proved it to be an impossible venture in some minds. No one had ever tried it before, as far as he knew. He wondered if they ever even thought about it.

The blonde was sent back to his room with a lump in his gut. Not because he was upset about anything, but because the food was awful. It tasted like cardboard and it smelled like cardboard. He was figuring it probably was cardboard that had been tossed in a blender with some water and reduced into a pulpy goo for him. At the very least, it was a distraction from how much he missed Axel, but it also meant he spent the better half of the evening on the toilet. He was thankful he had a sink though, that meant he had water to drink in order to stay hydrated.

He glared at the miserable excuse of a bed. He hadn't slept the previous evening and he was exhausted but he doubted he'd actually be able to sleep on it willingly anyway until his body simply gave out and it didn't matter anymore. He wondered how much of his misery translated over the Signet. His gastrointestinal distress probably was sent through and he gave himself a wry smirk with the visuals of Axel sitting somewhere with a blank stare like 'what the hell?' as the signal came in. That, or the redhead was upset about it. One of the two. Roxas couldn't decide. He figured so long as he wasn't dying, Axel would simply miss him. He didn't think his Carrier was irrational enough to flip shits about him…flipping literal shits.

* * *

Axel was being followed by a gaggle of women. Oh, and Zexion. He wasn't really being followed by Zexion though, so much as he was carrying him, but the principle was still the same. Down the uneven trail outside of the facility they went, heading towards the city which contained a healthier Cloud. At least Axel _hoped_ Cloud was feeling better otherwise he was in for a nasty surprise when all of his overbearing daughters decided to barrel into the house and play 'mom' for him. Axel had made the mistake of discussing the taller blonde's ailment with Riku and Sora at breakfast. Naomi, Leon and Cloud's oldest overheard them and thus, by that afternoon, _all_ of the girls knew and insisted they should come and help. Axel couldn't argue; it really wasn't his place to stand in front of family.

He and Zexion had left the previous evening after they used Cloud's Catalogue terminal to check up on the report they had sent to Ansem. The Technician was taking forever to reply and they both doubted he would get back to them anytime soon. Zexion hadn't gotten any other warnings through his Signet from Demyx and all Axel could gather from Roxas was that the blonde was having stomach issues, so their worries dwindled some as the time progressed but they were still insanely curious. They were both alive at least, and so long as there was that, they could deal.

To Axel's surprise, Cloud was exiting his house when everyone made it there. The man still looked incredibly pale and a little sickly, but he was awake and alive enough to move around and get ready for work. There was a cacophony of squeals and cries of 'Papa!' from all the girls that startled the taller blonde something terrible and he flung his keys into the air before taking notice who was there. The entire group bypassed the two males and bounded towards Cloud, making the Charge's eyes go wide. Axel stopped advancing towards them and let Zexion off of his back. Naomi plowed into Cloud in an effort to hug the illness from him. All her efforts succeeded in doing was forcing the blonde to grunt loudly and make a face like he was holding back a stomach full of vomit.

"Papa!" Naomi cried and swung him around. "We're here to nurse you back to health!" Axel snorted. It wasn't very often that he saw the girls interact with Cloud without Leon around. Leon was often the disciplinary force for them and he constantly made it very clear that he didn't like people manhandling his Charge. Whoever the people happened to be. For as strong and physically capable as he was, Cloud was still human, and thus his daughters were stronger than him. It also didn't help that they were all mothers as well and couldn't contain themselves when they spied the 'helpless' waif that was their 'papa.' Zexion was holding back a chuckle right along with the redhead as Naomi hoisted Cloud over her shoulder and kicked the door in again.

"You weren't trying to go to work were you? You look awful!" Theresa, the second oldest, asked as she looked into Cloud's face over her sister's shoulder. The Charge couldn't even answer before he was dragged inside again. The girls poured into the tiny house with mixed chatter dominating the silence. Zexion and Axel exchanged looks before following after them. The redhead tried to close the door behind him but it was hanging strangely on the hinges after Naomi's kick. He sighed and shook his head, wondering what it was with doors and Carriers beating them up lately. Zexion went to sit on the couch and wait to be useful while two of the females rustled around in the kitchen and the rest clattered up the stairs with Naomi in the lead.

* * *

Demyx was awake. Sort of. He was aware that he was awake but his eyes were so incredibly heavy he couldn't bring himself to open them. He couldn't tell where he was, but he couldn't smell his puddle of vomit in the corner anymore so he assumed he was moved to somewhere else. His throat was dry, his chest hurt, his back hurt, his legs hurt, his arm hurt, his head was pounding, and he was naked. He was very aware that he was naked. Normally he wouldn't care, but he knew he wasn't anywhere near Zexion so that meant it was a problem. He knew he was still in quarantine, but he couldn't recall what he was doing before his current position of laying on the floor. He hoped it was the floor anyway. If it wasn't, and he tried to move, he might fall off of something.

After another twenty minutes of laying and groggy thoughts, he managed to gather the strength to open his eyes. It was dark. Really dark. After another few minutes of adjustment though, he was able to make out that he was in his cell of a room. He tested his arms and though the one was horribly sore, he was able to shove himself onto all fours. He took a few deep breaths to gather himself and flopped onto the side and sat. Another ten minutes passed before he was able to stand and hobble over to the door and press the button next to it, bathing the room in a dim yellowish glow. His room was just the way he had left it but when he looked down at himself, he startled and gaped.

His entire pelvis was covered in dried blood. He didn't understand. He gently touched his skin and then tentatively sniffed his fingers. Human blood. His stomach lurched. He stood there with his mind racing for a few moments before the memories started to trickle in. He paled when he could recall Mary's face. Her screams. Her pleas. Her tears. Her feeble attempts to push him away. His stomach lurched again and he staggered to the toilet with just enough time to heave into the bowl. That's when he realized he had a collar around his neck pushing against his expanding esophagus.

Once he emptied what little he had left in his stomach he flopped back, panting hysterical breaths as everything came back to him in terrifying droves. He raked his fingers through his hair, scraping at his scalp to make the images go away. But they weren't going away. They were real, it happened. Demyx had raped the poor girl. Four times. He screamed, pulling at his hair in a frantic effort to make himself forget. He couldn't. He could even remember how much he loved that she was on her menstrual cycle. It added to his animalistic lust, the smell of copper mixed with the open air. Now that he was himself again though, he was completely disgusted with the idea.

* * *

Zexion's watch started to beep again and he was afraid to look at it. He reached over to stop the noise but it took him another minute and a deep breath to muster the courage to take a peek.

_Extreme emotional distress_

Zexion sighed. At least it wasn't a huge list of things. Demyx probably missed him, which was fine. Zexion missed him too, though he was far better at putting on a brave (if somewhat blank) face. The atmosphere around him was entertaining enough to keep him relatively distracted though. He had never taken the time to get to know any of Cloud's daughters. They were all a little brash and abrupt in their ways of doing things but it was obvious they all cared deeply for him. Leon too, but the Carrier obviously wasn't there to suck up any of the affection. The youngest one, or rather the youngest living one, Liv, had been sitting on the couch with him and was reading. The rest of the sisters were rushing about hurriedly. Axel had reclined back in one of the armchairs.

"Can I ask you a weird question?" Liv asked quietly, looking at Zexion and closing her book. The Charge quirked a brow and looked at her. She smiled. "Can I play with your hair? It's really beautiful."

"…Um," Zexion stammered.

"Such a ladies man," Axel snorted and grinned. Liv laughed.

"Sorry, that was a little weird, wasn't? My um…" she hesitated, swallowing thickly, "my Charge Gina used to have hair like yours. Do you mind?" she asked again. Zexion blinked, the recognition sinking in.

"Oh. No, I don't mind," he said quietly. Liv smiled.

"Where are the barrettes? Also, do you know where Cloud keeps his camera?" Axel asked teasingly. Zexion sent him a scowl, which only made the redhead's grin grow. Liv laughed again and stood from the couch to head upstairs. "You don't want photographic evidence of you playing 'make-over' with another Carrier?" Axel asked, leaning over the arm of the chair and wiggling his eyebrows at the Charge.

"Not really, no," Zexion said flippantly. "Honestly if she hadn't brought up her Charge I would've declined."

"Ah. Guilt. Powerful persuasion tool that is. Apparently women are very good at it. Or so I hear, I wouldn't actually know," Axel said. Zexion nodded.

"My ex-wife was very good at it," he said flatly.

"You were married?"

"In my previous life, yes."

"Huh. I didn't know that."

"Not many people do."

"Was she pretty?" the redhead asked. Zexion laughed a little.

"You want to know something really strange?"

"Sure?"

"She looked like Demyx."

"No shit?" Axel asked, his mouth agape. Zexion nodded.

"Or he looked like her; I can never keep it straight anymore. She was a dreadful woman though so when I think about her now, I have no remorse for her. She's obviously been dead for many years by this point, you know," he added and waved a hand. Axel pursed his lips and sat back in his seat in thought.

"Sorry, all I can think about is Demyx with boobs now," the redhead said dully. Zexion laughed.

"They're not identical for obvious reasons but they had the same eyes. Coincidentally so do Demyx's sisters if you think about it. And his brother, for that matter. They're similar, yes, but I don't see her in Demyx so it doesn't really matter. It is what got me to pay attention to him when he first made contact with me though. I can't help but wonder if someone did that on purpose."

"I wouldn't know, I wasn't around when Demyx was matured. He's… twenty-eight years older than me?" Axel trailed, looking thoughtful again. He nodded. "Yeah." Zexion rubbed his brows.

"God, I'm getting old," he said. Axel shrugged.

"Eh, whatever. So long as you don't act it I wouldn't worry too much."

"Demyx keeps me young, that's for sure."

"Demyx keeps _everyone_ young. Or annoyed. Or both."

"Both," Zexion chuckled. Liv descended the stairs again carrying a small plastic basket and she skittered over to the couch again. She looked overly happy and Axel couldn't help but grin some more at her. Zexion returned to his blank quiet face when she sat and didn't make a move. She set the basket down and patted the floor in front of her legs, giving the Charge an expectant look. Zexion hesitated before slowly shuffling off the couch to sit in front of her. She smiled at him and he gave her a small one in return before she reached forward to touch his hair. She brushed the lopsided strands away from his face and her smile faltered a bit as she was flooded with a bunch of memories. Zexion tried not to gawk at her and folded his hands in his lap politely and let her do her thing.

* * *

By the end of the day, things had calmed down considerably in Cloud's home. A few of the middle daughters left to return to their work and take care of their elder sister's cubs with their Charges, while Naomi, Theresa, and Liv stayed behind. Liv was far too preoccupied braiding hundreds of tiny thin braids into Zexion's hair to leave just yet and had officially forgotten the original purpose of why she was there. Naomi and Theresa didn't descend the staircase with their sisters when they were leaving so Axel decided to head upstairs to check on them. He pushed open the bedroom door and couldn't help but smile.

Cloud had fallen asleep on his stomach peacefully. At some point during the day he had been wrestled out of his clothing and thrown into a pair of pajama pants which disturbed Axel a bit but the fact that his two eldest daughters were curled up against him made everything so much better. If anything, it made the redhead desire more of his own kind so they could all sleep in a pile together at some point. A furry pile would be better but Cloud didn't exactly have fur to pile on so they had to make due with what they had, Axel supposed. The scene sent a pang through his chest. He swallowed thickly and pulled the door closed again quietly.

He hadn't intended to get jealous but he was. As he went back downstairs again, he kept telling himself over and over that Leon and Cloud had so many more years of work put in already than he did. By the time he reached the kitchen he found he didn't care about that anymore. He wanted a family of his own and he wanted one _now_. He sighed, wishing yet again that Roxas was with him so he could at least get a hug or something out of the blonde. Some semblance of comfort. He contemplated rushing back up the stairs and crawling in the bed with Cloud and his daughters but he thought that'd be too weird. Yeah, that'd be a little strange and he'd probably leave with a bruise the size of Cloud's fist somewhere on him afterward.

* * *

Roxas tried the floor before he tried his bed again. He decided that the floor, though extremely hard, was far less lumpy and therefore far more comfortable. He tried taking the pad off of the bed and putting it on the floor but discovered it was the pad itself that was lumpy, rather the lack of support the springs underneath gave. By the time he fell asleep for a couple hours it was already the wee hours of the next morning and he awoke again with an aching back and feeling extremely cold. Not only that but he was hungry again. He groaned to himself and rubbed his face, he didn't want to eat again.

He didn't have any sort of temperature control on his tiny sink otherwise he would've stood around and ran his hands under some hot water to warm himself a bit. Once again he was left wondering if they were going to let him bathe while he was there. He really didn't want to think about sitting around in the cafeteria with a bunch of other people who all smelled as equally as ripe as he did. Not only did he feel sticky and gross but his face itched. He needed to shave. He and Sora didn't inherit the hairiest of genes from their father's side but they did tend to grow a bit of a goatee and moustache after a few days of neglect. Roxas hated his facial hair. It looked completely out of place on him and quite random, especially since it would take a week for anyone to notice it since it was just as blonde as the rest of him. Sora on the other hand, had no problem showing his laziness if he decided to forego the razor for a while but it looked just as strange on him.

He shivered and hugged himself. Immediately he thought of how nice would've been if Axel was there to give him a warm arm to sleep under. Sleep. Adequate sleep. That was a nice thought as well. Axel and sleep; both very desirable and both very unobtainable. Roxas groggily pushed himself up and rubbed his sternum. Thinking about the redhead made his chest tighten and ache. He smirked and gave himself a bitter laugh. When did _that_ happen, he wondered. Not too long ago he was a bigoted fool that had the urge to vomit every time he thought something homosexual about himself. Now, he wanted to vomit because Axel was so far away from him. He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them. He sighed again.

He checked his watch for the time. He ran an exasperated hand through his awful bed head (or 'floor' head as the case may have it). It was still mid-morning. He wondered how he and Axel's little glob of cells was doing in her tube. The Signet wasn't saying anything about Axel's emotional well being so he figured it was fine. The redhead would've probably felt reasonably distressed if she were to die. He wondered if she could be seen floating around yet, like Demyx and Zexion's 'peanut.' A tiny pink dot in a sea of liquid. The blonde smiled to himself with the thought.

How strange his life had become. At this stage of the game he knew far more about Genetic Chemistry than he ever would've hoped to know in his old life. Two thousand years of advancement tended to do that. New discoveries were happening every second, he figured. Again, he contemplated the possibility of the Carrier Project ever being considered 'finished.' Would the Technicians stop once the world was stable? Or would they figure some way to splice together new species' from the old ones and make super animals? Would they use the Carriers for anything else afterward or would they all be killed? Would they be left alone to live normal lives? Roxas hoped for the latter but he also didn't foresee anything coming to an end anytime soon; especially not in his lifetime, even if he lived to be as old as Ansem.

"Too much thinking," Roxas muttered to himself and rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. He pushed himself up from the floor and stretched his stiff body back into place a bit before going about whatever hygiene routine he could think up. All he could think to do was brush his teeth and wash his face. His clothes were hopelessly wrinkled and he decided to change into the bland beige set he had been given simply so he could feel a bit cleaner. The shorts and t-shirt didn't help his temperature problem though and he shivered again, forcing his mind to drift back to Axel and the Carrier's abnormal warmth. He'd even settled for a fly in his ear if it meant he could have a realistic dream about the redhead again. He laughed again to himself with that thought. He had forgotten about the flies and black shit.

* * *

Roxas' saving grace came several hours later when some nameless dreg came for him for his mealtime. He was starved by the time he reached the cafeteria and was happy to spy Leon and Demyx right away. His spirits fell when he took in Demyx's haggard appearance. The Carrier had obviously had a rough go of it since they had arrived and Roxas was a little scared to ask about it. He made to approach his friends cautiously but was stopped part of the way there by a tap on his shoulder. He turned and looked up to see Marluxia. The blonde blinked, he hadn't realized how tall the avian Carrier was before.

"Oh, hello again," Roxas said and tried to give Marluxia a smile even though he felt completely shrimpy again stature wise. The Carrier smiled.

"Hello. Did you want to sit together again today?" Marluxia asked. The blonde nodded.

"Sure, I see Leon and our other friend Demyx that we were missing yesterday so if you don't mind, I'll invite them along."

"That's fine. I'm going to get in line," Marluxia said and left him. Roxas doubted the quality of their food and wondered if he should even bother eating today. He made his way over to Demyx and Leon though, before he could scare himself away from the food line. Demyx looked like he was about to burst into tears at any give moment and Leon had his brows furrowed together. Whether the russet Carrier was angry, or thoughtful, Roxas couldn't tell.

"Hi," Roxas said tiredly when he approached. Leon gave him a half-assed wave with his fingertips and Demyx continued to stare ahead of himself with a withering expression. "What's wrong?" the blonde asked.

"Demyx was tested on yesterday," Leon said flatly. The sandy blonde nodded.

"Really? What was he testing?" Roxas asked.

"Drugs," Leon said. He reached forward and turned Demyx around to face the food line and nudged the other Carrier along towards it. Roxas followed after them quietly. They didn't speak again until they were sitting at the table with Marluxia. The avian Carrier fished around in his bowl of seeds and grain, searching for something edible. Roxas couldn't tell the difference between a good seed and a bad seed but he didn't question the Carrier's judgment on the matter. After a few minutes of watching him dig though, he was beginning to get too curious.

"How can you tell what's good and what's bad in there?" Roxas asked, eyeing Marluxia carefully. Demyx sat next to the Charge, staring at his plate blankly. Leon poked around his own dish, finding a few less-disgusting pieces of meat today and eating them cautiously. Marluxia picked up a handful of seeds and crushed them in his palm. When he opened it again, there was a gelatinous mash of shells and pulp in his hand. He shook his hand off the side of the table, flinging mashed up bits everywhere, mostly on the floor.

"The shells are supposed to crunch," he said.

"Oh," Roxas said. That made sense. He looked to Demyx. "Don't want to talk about what happened?" The sandy blonde shook his head.

"No," he said sadly.

"Please tell me you didn't eat someone," Marluxia said. Demyx shook his head again.

"I didn't."

"Why do you smell like blood then?"

"I said I didn't want to talk about it," the sandy blonde said.

"You've got balls to ask someone you don't know that question," Leon interjected, sending Marluxia a glare. Roxas was confused. He didn't smell any blood.

"I have a right to know if I'm sitting near a murderer or not, don't I? I believe that he didn't kill anyone, but I figured it was worth a shot to sate my curiosity a little. It's a little unsettling for me to be near an apex that smells like he was wallowing in human blood," Marluxia said. Demyx's eyes started to water and he shrunk down in his seat some. Roxas tilted his head to look at the Carrier's face.

"Please stop talking about it," the sandy blonde squeaked quietly.

"It wasn't your fault. Xemnas is responsible," Leon said.

"What did Xemnas give you?" Roxas questioned. Demyx squeezed his eyes closed and hid his face in his hands as tears slid down his face. Marluxia furrowed his brows that the sandy blonde's willingness to show weakness in front of him. A delicate hand came from behind and landed on Demyx's shoulder, causing the Carrier to jump and turn quickly in his seat. Mary squealed in surprise, expecting Demyx to jump her again but she could tell by his puffy eyes that he wasn't going to. The other three turned to her as well.

"Mary!" Demyx cried. The girl backed away some and sat in another chair at the table behind them. She wrung her hands nervously, giving the Carrier a suspicious look.

"I…" she started and swallowed the lump in her throat before trying again, "I've been a Charge for over two hundred years, Demyx. It's difficult for me to be afraid of Carriers and I'm trying my hardest to… accept what happened. I know you said Xemnas gave you something, and I believe you. I… I don't blame you," she said timidly. "Xemnas said he was testing things on Carriers but I didn't understand what until… you know." Demyx took a shaky breath before exhaling it.

"Mary I…" he started before stopping and looking down at his hands. He chewed on the inside of his cheek a bit. Tears dripped off of his cheeks and he laughed, but it sounded more like a hoarse huff of air rather than anything of merit. "My Charge isn't even female if that can get you to understand how unlike me I was acting," he said quietly and looked up at her again. She gave him a watery smile.

"I figured that when you asked me if I had a dick," she said and they both laughed a bit. Roxas was deeply disturbed. Leon turned back to his meal and Marluxia raised a brow.

"Yeah well…" Demyx trailed and rubbed the back of his neck. He wiped at his face. "I feel better knowing you're not terrified of me but I still feel horrible. Especially since…um…" he stopped again and looked around before scooting out of his chair and moving to the one next to the girl. He leaned in and cupped a hand around her ear and whispered something to her. She blinked and her mouth fell open a bit. He sat back when he was finished and she looked to him.

"I hadn't even considered that yet," she said and chewed on a finger a bit. "Um…s-should I call you if—"

"Yeah. I don't even know how I'm going to explain this to my Charge yet," Demyx said quietly. Mary knit her brows together and wrung her hands again, looking contemplative. She looked to Demyx again and eyed the collar around his neck.

"Well, I have your model number now so why don't I give you a call regardless?" she asked. "I can help explain then if you want. When do you go home?"

"…Six weeks," Demyx said flatly. She gasped.

"You're _here_ for six _weeks_?" she exclaimed. He shook his head.

"I'm here for four, but then I'm doing service work for another facility for another two. So I won't be home for six," he said and his eyes started to water again. He sniffled and wiped at them again, "damn it," he swore at himself. She sighed and shook her head.

"This is so wrong," she said. Roxas furrowed his brows. He had suspicions of what Demyx and the girl had done together but he wasn't entirely sure. The girl didn't seem very upset with Demyx and the blonde wondered how much it was genuine and how much of it was an act.

"You should probably go and try to eat something. Thanks for trying to make me feel better," Demyx said and gave the girl a weak smile. She nodded sadly and patted him on the shoulder before standing and leaving quietly. The Carrier pushed himself out of the chair and went to take his original seat again. He sighed and resumed staring at his plate.

"I vote we castrate Xemnas," Leon said flatly and flicked another less than fresh piece of meat across his tray.

"I still don't fully understand…" Roxas said and rubbed his brows.

"I raped that girl, Roxas," Demyx blurted dully. The blonde sucked in a sudden breath and choked on it. He coughed a few times. "I don't want to be here for another four weeks," the sandy blonde continued and rubbed his face. "It's bad enough already, what if Xemnas makes me do it again?"

"He won't if I get my hands on him before then," Leon said.

"That's an unsettling prospect. I have no desire to rape anyone," Marluxia said. Roxas looked Demyx over. He couldn't imagine the doofy Carrier doing something so heinous. Mary's temperament helped soothe the shock some because if _she_ was able to register that it wasn't really Demyx, then it softened the blow considerably but it was still upsetting. The blonde's stomach churned a bit when he realized why Demyx supposedly smelled like blood yet the girl was still alive without any gashes or cuts on her. He pushed his tray of unappealing goo away from himself, his appetite ruined.

"You guys don't hate me?" Demyx asked and looked at his friends. Leon and Roxas shook their heads. Marluxia wasn't a factor. The sandy blonde let out a breath. "I don't know what to say to Zexion. I…I can't even imagine trying to explain."

"Just tell him like you told me," Leon said.

"You make it sound like it's just that easy…" Demyx trailed. Leon shrugged. Roxas glared at the table. He didn't want to be raped by anyone. He wondered how many products Xemnas had created and if he did happen to end up in a room with a Carrier, if they would act differently than Demyx had. It was a possibility, but he was also afraid of not knowing what to do if the Carrier was to have some sort of reaction to the drug and start to die before him. There were no medical facilities that he knew of in the area and even if he did know how to treat any other Carrier aside from Axel, he doubted the probability of being able to use them. Not that he had very much experience in treating Carrier's in the first place, because he didn't yet, but he had studied like he was supposed to.

Their meal continued on in relative silence, with everyone's mind racing with the probability that they would be tested on in some shape or form. Roxas was mostly concerned with protecting himself. Demyx was hoping the he was left alone for a while, though he was expecting something to happen to him again. Leon was silently worrying about his tumor and hoping that Xemnas knew about it and wouldn't force him into any sort of violence against anyone. Marluxia was hoping he died of starvation before he had a turn with the drugs; he was heading into his fourth day of hardly eating anything. The Charge of the group ended up eating a few tasteless spoonfuls of his glop just to keep his stomach from growling at him. His mind started to wander a bit.

"Hey Marluxia?" Roxas asked after a mindful of questions popped up. The avian Carrier looked up from his bowl.

"Hm?"

"I know that Demyx and Leon have their Links in their teeth, which is okay since they have their teeth when they change, but you don't have teeth when you change do you?"

"That's right."

"So where is your Link?" Roxas asked. Marluxia didn't say anything and opted for turning in his seat so his back was to the blonde before lifting the hair off the back of his neck. Directly under his hairline was the plug for his Link. "Huh," the Charge huffed, thinking it was strange to have an open hole in his neck but didn't push it. The Carrier let his hair fall over it again and turned to stare at his food again. Demyx flicked through his plate a bit and found a few pieces of meat that looked safe and pushed them onto Marluxia's tray. Roxas raised a confused brow as the avian Carrier ate one.

"These people obviously don't know what an omnivore is," Demyx huffed and pushed through his foodstuffs again. The blonde was even more confused. How did Demyx know what Marluxia was? Roxas made a mental note to ask later.

"Thanks," Marluxia said quietly.

"I like helping," the sandy blonde said idly in response.

"Even if you're horrible at it," Leon snorted. Demyx nodded.

"It's true," he agreed. Roxas smirked a little.

"Can you fly?" the blonde asked, looking to Marluxia again.

"Not very far," he said.

"I wish I could, that'd be fun," Roxas said.

"It's not all that exciting, really. Now, if I could get as high and last as long as a hawk, I'd probably be more into it. It's more like exaggerated jumping in my case," Marluxia said.

"Well I didn't even know peafowl could fly in the first place so you're already impressive to me."

"Oh. Well thank you," the Carrier said and smiled. Leon snorted again and chuckled to himself.

"What?" Demyx asked and nudged him. Leon shook his head.

"I was just thinking on what makes certain Totems impressive and I just thought that Axel would be considered impressive because of his size and pattern, but then I thought about Axel trying to fly for some reason and I couldn't help myself," Leon said. Demyx laughed.

"That'd be awesome," he said.

" _Any_ of you fatasses trying to fly would be awesome," Roxas snorted.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

By the sixth day of his quarantine, Roxas was going partially insane. At least he _felt_ like he was going insane. He spent his massive amounts of free time counting the divots in the concrete on his walls or fliping through the various applications on his watch. He wondered how long the batteries would last, or if the device even ran on batteries in the first place. He hadn't needed to do anything with it to keep it running since he got the thing. He still hadn't bathed, he hadn't shaved, and he barely slept. He was starving most of the time only to go to the cafeteria for a meal and lose his appetite. The food no longer hurt his stomach but that didn't make it any more appetizing. He wished he had a scale to see how much weight he had lost.

Nothing had happened to Leon or Marluxia yet but Roxas had a feeling that wasn't going to last very long. Demyx had been left alone as well and he shared awkward conversations with Mary for a few days to see how she was feeling. She assured him she was fine and that she would stay in contact if anything came up. It didn't make the Carrier feel much better but he appreciated the gesture. Mary was released the previous day and Demyx relaxed considerably once she was gone and was able to smile more. Nobody blamed him.

A thunderous bang on his door startled the hell out of the blonde and he had barely a second to suck a breath in before the door swung open. Another random goon was standing there, leering at him. Roxas glared at the man in return. It wasn't anywhere near meal time and he had a horrible feeling he was going to be carted away to somewhere he didn't want to be. The man stomped into the room and the blonde backed away from him even though his mind was screaming at him, telling him how futile it would be to try and get away. The theory proved to be true when the man grabbed onto his arm and dragged him out of the cell and down the hall, opposite the way of the cafeteria.

"Where the fuck are you taking me?" Roxas cried and tried to wrench his arm away feebly. The man didn't answer him and soon enough they stopped in front of a door. It was shoved open and the blonde was pushed inside before he could say anything else.

"One hour," the man barked and slammed the door shut again. Roxas gaped at the exit for a moment. An hour? For what? He turned around and observed that he wasn't the only one present in the space he was in. He was in a large room that reminded him very much of the locker room he had in high school. He was thoroughly confused. There were several other people milling about, some Carriers and a few Charges all of mixed genders, but no one he recognized. Suddenly a bundle was shoved into his arms and he startled again and looked down. He had been handed a new set of beige clothes and a razor as well as a bar of soap. He raised a brow and looked up again just in time to see another dreg stalk off across the room and back where he came from. The door behind him opened and closed again before someone crashed into him from behind.

"Whoa! Get the fuck out of the doorway, kid!" cried an obnoxiously shrill female voice. Roxas whirled around and took in the woman behind him. She was taller than he was, though not by much with electric aqua eyes and slicked back yellow-blonde hair with two random pieces sticking up like antenna. He blinked a few times at her and she glowered down at him. "What the hell are you staring at?" she barked.

"…Your teeth," he said. Her canines were long, much like the feline Carrier's he was used to, but hers went far beyond anything anyone else's he had seen before. They hung out of her mouth and past her bottom lip, nearly digging into her chin. It was obvious that she was a Carrier, not only because of her appearance but because of the collar around her neck. In response to his claim, the woman scoffed and stuck her nose in the air.

"You've never seen a pair of tusks before I take it?" she asked and gave him a condescending smirk. Roxas shook his head.

"No…is your Totem the Elephant or something?" he asked. She let out a high pitched whining laugh.

"Kid, Elephants aren't the only things with tusks in this world. My Totem is the Walrus," she said as her laugh slowly dwindled into a light series of giggles. Roxas' eyes widened a bit, he wasn't expecting that one. "The name's Larxene."

"Um, I'm Roxas," he said. The same dreg as before came over and shoved a new set of clothes and a bar of soap into Larxene's arms as well before stomping away again. The Charge looked between his own pile and hers. "What are we doing exactly?" he asked. She laughed at him again.

"Apparently this is your first quarantine too, yeah? We're here to shower."

"What? Co-ed showers?" Roxas asked, aghast with the idea. After a second of consideration though he didn't think it was such a bad idea. A shower sounded nice, some wet boobs sounded okay too, but he didn't really like the idea of a community shower with _everyone_ looking. Larxene gave him a mischievous grin which looked more like a deranged snarl with her teeth protruding as much as they did.

"Are you scared my dick might be bigger than yours or something?"

"Fuck no, I was just surprised," Roxas shot back quickly. Larxene laughed yet again. The Charge furrowed his brows, remembering Yuffie saying something very similar to him a while ago. Larxene shook her head a bit, her grin persisting and nudged him along and out of the doorway. He followed after her as she weaved between several other bodies in varying stages of undress to an open spot. She tossed her pile of clothing on the floor and began to disrobe, flinging her dirty clothes over her head without a care in the world. Roxas tried not to stare and followed her lead, albeit a bit more sluggishly. She skittered away happily around another corner, carrying her new clothes with her and Roxas tried to keep up. He stumbled into the shower room and the color rushed to his cheeks.

There were _a lot_ of people in amongst the billows of steam and water. The blonde tip toed away to the nearest open shower head and clicked on the water, setting his clothing on a shelf away from the spray. He didn't want to, but he had to look around. He noticed that there weren't any mirrors anywhere around and he'd have to shave by feel and without any shaving cream. Fantastic. He was envious of the few female Charges he noticed. The girls were talking casually amongst themselves and shaving their legs easily because they could see what they were doing. The other guys he saw were all winging it as far as their own faces went. He sighed and stared at his bar of soap sadly. He was betting on some awful razor burn.

At least he was warm, finally. The last of his shivers drained away under the water and he stood under the spray with his eyes closed for a few minutes, simply letting his tired and aching muscles relax. The pattering of the water against his scalp echoed in his ears and drowned out most of the conversation around him, letting his mind drift relatively peacefully. He was able to ignore the plethora of naked bodies around him up until one decided to press itself along his back and force him out of his quiet moment.

"Coming in!" Demyx cried and draped himself over Roxas' back. The blonde's eyes flew wide and his posture stiffened. The sandy blonde laughed.

"Don't do that!" Roxas cried and elbowed the Carrier in the ribs. Demyx wasn't all that much taller than he was but the fact that they were both naked meant that Roxas could feel everything pressed up against his back and he really didn't want to know Demyx _that_ well. Suddenly, the sandy blonde disappeared off of him, letting out a series of squeaks as he was pulled backwards by his hair.

"Ow. Owowow! Let go!" Demyx whined and batted at Leon's hands. The russet Carrier flung him under another shower head and clicked on the cold water, causing Demyx to squeal as he was pelted by liquid ice. Leon silently clicked on another head and began to wash himself. Demyx fumbled with the temperature control of his shower for a second before he was satisfied with how it felt before coming back to Roxas.

"Don't touch me please," the blonde huffed and kept his eyes on the Carrier's face. Demyx grinned.

"I was actually going to offer to shave your face for you. You don't have a mirror and I don't want you to sever anything important in your neck," he said. Roxas raised a brow. He considered it for a moment and caught Leon turning around in his shower in his peripheral vision. The blonde gaped at him and Demyx turned to see what was up.

"What the hell happened to Leon?" Roxas whispered. The Carrier's entire chest and torso was covered in a series of old faded scars; some large, some small, but it was obvious they were all obtained a very long time ago. Demyx shrugged.

"He's had those forever. I have no idea. He doesn't say anything to anyone about them. I think Cloud is the only one who knows," the sandy blonde said. "Did you want a shave or not?" he asked, turning his attention to Roxas again. The Charge blinked a few times and forced himself to pay attention again.

"Um…"

"I'm not going to kill you," Demyx reassured.

"Sure? I guess? I don't see what the hurt is, you can't do any worse than I would without a mirror," he said.

"That's true," he agreed. Roxas handed him the bar of soap and reached behind himself for the razor. Demyx got to work, lathering the bar between his hands and the Charge lifted his chin for the sandy blonde to spread it over his skin. Roxas kept his eyes squeezed shut for the first few swipes of the blade over his face simply because he was expecting chunks of his skin to come flying off in the process, but Demyx was careful. Once he pulled his eyes open again he almost startled with how close their faces were. The Carrier was concentrating strongly on his task with his tongue poking out between his lips idly as he worked. The blonde fought back a snort. It took Demyx over twenty minutes to get the blonde completely clean and ran his fingers over the face a few times to make sure he didn't miss anything. Roxas cracked his neck when he was finally able to move again.

"All good?" the Charge asked and felt his face for himself. "Wow, I'm impressed," he added when he didn't feel any missed hairs or any nicks.

"You don't live with a hairy ape for ninety years without learning a few things," Demyx said and grinned. "Want me to shave your sack too?"

"Uh…no I'm fine," Roxas stammered, the visuals overwhelming him a little bit. He took the razor from the Carrier quickly before he decided to jump him anyway. Demyx laughed.

"What about hairy apes?" a deep grumbling voice sounded. Demyx's eyes widened and he and Roxas looked to the side to take in the Carrier standing next to them who was glaring down on the sandy blonde with needles shooting from his pupils. He wasn't particularly tall as he was extremely bulky but the amount of _hair_ on his body made Roxas look like an infant in comparison. It also didn't help that it was all jet black and stood out against the Carrier's skin with sharp contrast. He had angular features that were accented by huge mutton chop sideburns that sloped upwards and onto his cheeks. The hair that was piled on top of his head was a mass of sopping dreadlocks that reached past his shoulder blades. Roxas couldn't help but stare at his enormous eyebrows, which were oddly shaped, just like his sideburns.

"Wow! You're furry!" Demyx blurted and immediately slapped a hand over his mouth. In the background, Leon held his face in one hand with a heavy sigh but didn't make a move to interfere with the sandy blonde making an idiot of himself yet _again_.

"You got a problem with hairy apes, pretty boy?" the new Carrier growled at Demyx, leaning forward and bringing their faces close. The sandy blonde shook his head hurriedly.

"No…" Demyx trailed. He sniffed a bit. "Could you back up a bit?" he asked. Apparently the newcomer hadn't gotten around to taking his shower properly just yet. Roxas wrinkled his nose a bit as the musk wafted over him. That was the one problem that the blonde had with Carriers that he doubted he would ever get over. After a while, they all tended to smell like their Totems. Not that Roxas could tell the different between the smells as it always sort of congealed together into one massive odor but he still didn't like it very much. Except for Axel. Axel smelled okay all the time. Then again they had never been around each other while one lacked a proper shower for a week, so maybe the redhead could work up a stench just a strong. Roxas didn't want to find out.

"Oh so now you have a problem with my scent?" the hairy Carrier muttered.

"Kinda…" Demyx said quietly. The other Carrier grit his teeth angrily and was prepared to say something else but Roxas had seen enough.

"Okay! I think we're done here," he blurted abruptly and waved an arm between them. He really wasn't prepared to watch Demyx get the shit beat out of him for the millionth time since they had met and Roxas could see that that was the road the sandy blonde was headed down. He put his hands on Demyx's chest and pushed him back a few feet so he could stand between them without getting too familiar with them physically. He turned to the newcomer. "Sorry, my friend is an idiot. His mouth opens before he thinks most of the time. We're really not looking for any trouble Mister…" he trailed, looking for a name. The Carrier snorted.

"Xaldin," he spat grumpily.

"Right. Xaldin. Sorry again," the blonde said quickly. Xaldin glowered down at the little Charge before flicking his narrowed gaze back to Demyx who had a hand clamped over his mouth again to prevent himself from speaking. He looked to Roxas again before giving another indignant snort and stomping away. Roxas raised a brow as he took in the enormous patch of gray hair on the Carrier's back, but decided to ignore it. He whirled on Demyx once the other Carrier was distracted in his shower. "Are you out of your fucking mind? Did you see the arms on that guy?" he barked. Demyx shrugged.

"You didn't smell him? Whew!" the Carrier said and waved a hand in front of his nose. Roxas smacked him in the shoulder.

"Do me a favor and don't say stupid things to people when I could get caught in the cross-fire if they decide to throw a punch at you. And by the way, you don't smell like daisies and rainbow farts either so I wouldn't say much about anyone else," the Charge said.

"Yeah well there's a _huge_ difference between my smell and Gorilla smell."

"…That guy was a Gorilla? How do you know these things?"

"Carriers have awesome noses. It's part of the Link system. We can recognize anyone. It's a safety feature for our Charges really. A Carrier can easily go out and buy clothes and blend in well enough to lure someone else's Charge away and kill them or do whatever if they choose to so we need to be able to detect other Carriers at will. Plus it also helps that he was getting all uppity about 'hairy apes' and that sort of thing. Did you see the hair on his back? He's obviously a silverback. He's top shit."

"And you were antagonizing him? Oh my god Demyx," Roxas groaned and stomped away, back to his shower. The sandy blonde snorted a laughed a bit, heading back to his own. There was a loud wet slap and Demyx let out a yip as Leon smacked him in the chest harshly.

"Idiot," the russet Carrier spat. The blonde rolled his eyes and went to work scrubbing the buildup off of his skin. He was tempted to use his t-shirt as a washcloth but decided against it. He stared ahead of himself, keeping his eyes glued to the wall underneath the shelf. He was aware of a shower being turned off next to him and the person leaving before another took their place and it turned on again. The blonde wondered if there was socially acceptable or dainty way to scrub the underside of his scrotum without looking like he was masturbating in public. He furrowed his brows at his soap in thought.

"No one is going to care about whatever it is you're thinking about," came Marluxia's voice from the shower next to him. Roxas startled a bit by the random intrusion and his eyes shifted to the side in reflex to see who it was only to be presented with a very obvious view of the Carrier's genitals. He stared for a second. Marluxia was _very_ well endowed. The blonde tore his eyes away from the scene and forced them upwards just in time to take in the Carrier's perplexed expression. "Dilemma?" he asked calmly as he worked his own bar of soap between his hands.

"Uuuh…" the blonde trailed, his voice cracking a bit which made him feel even more awkward. Marluxia hadn't noticed Roxas' stare and thought the Charge was having some sort of moral issue or problem he was contemplating.

"Oh what the fuck?" Demyx groaned from his shower, pulling the pair's attention to him. The sandy blonde's posture was slumped and he was gaping at Marluxia. "The god damned finch is bigger than I am," he sighed. Roxas' jaw dropped at the statement. Not because he cared about Demyx's penis size, but because he had the audacity to say something. Talking about dick sizes in a public shower didn't seem like a very couth way of going about things. It equated to watching other guys pee at the urinals. It just wasn't okay.

"Finch?" Marluxia asked. "I assume you mean me? I'm not a finch."

"Finch. Chicken. Whatever. Food," Demyx huffed.

"Pheasant," Marluxia corrected, the annoyance building in his voice.

"Fucking racist," Leon grumbled, sending Demyx a sideways glare.

"I'm not racist! Apex predators aren't supposed to make friends with their food is all. Especially if they have an extra limb that hangs down to their fucking knees!" Demyx cried.

"Have some class," Marluxia spat with a frown. Roxas raised a brow. Carrier racism? That was a new concept.

"I'll just settle for some damn manners," the blonde grumbled and Marluxia nodded in agreement. Leon sighed and looked to Demyx.

"You're almost as bad as the Technicians some days with you're mouth," Leon muttered.

"You take that back! I'll _never_ be like those bastards!" Demyx yelled, instantly offended.

"You angry about what I said? Good. Because it's the truth. Not shut your fucking hole before shut it for you. I'm already tired of your shit today, Demyx," Leon growled.

"Fuck you and your hoity toity 'holier than thou' attitude, Leon! You have no power over me. Stop acting like you do! Take it back!"

"Uh oh," Roxas said quietly and scooted back into his shower. Stopping Demyx from being a jackass by himself was one thing. Stopping Demyx from being a jackass to _Leon_ was another.

"You think me asking for a little civility and manners from you, is having power over you? Come off it, Demyx. Once you start acting less like an infant every time you're around me, _then_ I'll take back my words," Leon snorted calmly and shook his head a bit before resuming his shower. Demyx was glaring daggers at the other Carrier and Roxas looked to Marluxia who was watching with a bit of confusion on his features. When he looked back to his friends, Demyx was reaching out. He grabbed onto Leon's arm and spun him around to look him in the face.

"You didn't _ask_ for anything, jackhole. You told me I was like a _Technician_. Take. It. Back!" the sandy blonde snarled directly into Leon's face. The russet Carrier looked at him calmly and placed a hand on his chest to push him back a few inches. Not a shove, but a firm press. Demyx smacked his hand away harshly and resumed his glare.

"Back off," Leon warned.

"Fucking make me. Your _pride_ of _women_ isn't around here to watch your back. Are you sure you can handle me?"

"Now you're sexist too? What the fuck do they have you on today? First penis envy, then racism, now you've got an issue with my sisters?"

"I wouldn't have a problem with anything if you'd just take it back. Then, I'd be quiet and you wouldn't have anything to use to twist my words around! Take it back!"

"Fuck off, Demyx. You need to prove yourself to me a little bit and so far, the last hundred years or so haven't done you any favors. You're reminding me why I don't hang around you while Zexion isn't around."

"Don't bring Zexion into this!"

"I'm not saying anything negative about him. He keeps you on a decent enough leash. I can tolerate you when he's around."

"A leash? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

"An infant," Leon said calmly. Demyx's eyes narrowed further and Roxas didn't have enough time to say something before the sandy blonde's fist came up and connected with the side of Leon's face. Marluxia backed a few more feet away, further into his shower, eyes wide. The russet Carrier's upper body was what moved the most with the force of the blow, his feet stayed planted. He straightened again after a second of adjustment and ran a hand over his face. His eyes were absolutely murderous. Demyx held his ground though and glared straight back at him with equal anger.

"Infant?" the sandy blonde questioned with a smug smirk.

"Infant," Leon confirmed and punched the other Carrier square in the jaw without any more hesitation. Demyx was floored almost immediately from the force. Leon quickly shut off both of their showers and grabbed his clothing with a rough snatch. He went to the sandy blonde and leaned over him. "Did you ever think that Marluxia's dick might be bigger than yours because his _Implant_ is bigger than yours? He's taller than me too, if you haven't noticed. Are you going to go home and bitch at Axel for being so fucking tall? Are you going to whine and moan that you're not huge to _Zexion_ who's _smaller_ than you and _proportioned_ to you better?"

"Wh—" Demyx sputtered.

"Shut up, I'm not finished. Who gives a damn if Marluxia isn't like us? He's still a life just like we are and he wants respect just like anyone else. Fucking learn your place as an _equal_ before you learn your _superiority complex_. You haven't _earned_ the right to treat anyone like they're your subordinate and I'm tired of you acting like you have, Demyx. And if you _ever_ say shit to me about my sisters again I will personally see to it you can never have any of your own," Leon spat angrily, glowering down at the other Carrier. Demyx furrowed his brows, glaring at the floor and people's feet more than anything else. When he didn't respond, Leon straightened and stalked away, weaving through the other showers and out of the room. Roxas and Marluxia looked to each other.

"Uh…Did I miss something?" Marluxia trailed. Roxas shrugged.

"Demyx is having a bad week. Don't mind him."

* * *

Axel was trying his hardest to stay occupied. Cloud was well again so that distraction had expired. He and Roxas' glob of cells was fine and not doing much. Slicing apart sperm was fine for productivity but he was becoming cross-eyed for doing it for so long. Sitting around and jerking off had absolutely no appeal. He could only eat so much at a time. Demyx wasn't around to create mischief with. Zexion didn't talk a whole bunch. Tifa and Zack were busy. Yuffie was being boring. Axel was afraid to talk to Cloud and Leon's daughters for fear of being forced to do female things with them. Ansem _still_ hadn't responded to his and Zexion's report. He was _bored_. So incredibly bored that he had been reduced to cleaning.

"Are you fucking _nesting_ or something?" Cloud interjected abruptly from the lab doors. Axel startled from his position on the floor under the Catalogue terminal and he jerked upright, smacking his head into the underside of the keyboard. Cloud laughed.

"Asshole, don't do that!" the redhead spat. He hauled himself out from under the computer and stood, brushing the dust off of his shorts and rubbed his head. "What?"

"I came to tell you my findings but if you're going to be a bitch about it, I don't have to share," the taller blonde said.

"Findings?"

"From mine and Leon's test."

"…Tes—Oh! The wigged out sperm thing? You actually tested the drugs? I didn't think you guys would actually do it."

"We did."

"Huh…well what did you find?" Axel asked, not wanting to pry into specifics. He was curious, of course, but he wasn't stupid enough to ask Cloud about the details of whatever bedroom etiquette he and Leon had. Not only would the blonde refuse most likely, but Axel would probably be punched in some way simply for having the gall to ask in the first place. Plus, making up his own stories was always much more fun.

"Come on," Cloud urged and left the lab. Axel followed after him and soon enough they were in Leon and Cloud's lab, where Zexion was already looking into a microscope. Immediately, the redhead noticed a gestational tank in the back filled with liquid signifying that it was in use. He quirked a brow.

"Did you already plop a zygote in a tank using the whacked out sperm?" Axel asked. Cloud nodded.

"Figured it was worth a shot," the blonde said calmly. Axel went to where Zexion was at the Extractor and the Charge stepped aside for him. The redhead pressed his eyes to the microscope and took in the hyperactivity. He was quickly able to see several of Leon's sperm mercilessly poking and prodding at several of Cloud's dead sperm, like Demyx and Zexion's were before. Axel also noticed that the space around the activity was littered with other dead sperm and he was a little confused.

"Wouldn't all of Cloud's dead sperm be attacked by Leon's whacked out ones? What's wrong with the ones that are just lying around?" he asked.

"Those aren't Cloud's sperm. Those are Leon's Totem sperm," Zexion said. The redhead quirked a brow and looked to him. "It's a little disturbing that the drugs only work on the human sperm of the Carrier. It makes me wonder if the drug either sterilizes and kills the Totem sperm upon contact or they died on their own."

"They didn't die on their own; they were put in the specimen canisters right away," Cloud said and cleared his throat, not enjoying the sharing of he and Leon's methods. It needed to be said though.

"That bothers me. I assumed with Demyx's that they died on their own," Zexion said. He nudged Axel out of the way of the microscope and used the controls to shift the view around. He motioned for Axel to look again and the redhead was even more confused. There were several living sperm swimming around that weren't attacking or being attacked and looked a little lost amongst all the action. "Those are Cloud's living sperm. Leon's human sperm only attack the dead ones, which is also weird."

"Taking the path of least resistance maybe?" Axel said, furrowing his brows at the little swimmers.

"It doesn't seem to hinder the making of human children, but it may be a problem when it comes time to make the Implant," Cloud said. The redhead nodded and backed away from the microscope to think. "Then again there isn't any reason we couldn't use another non-drugged sample to get healthy Totem sperm for that. I don't see the issue."

"It bothers me because I wonder if it damages the Totem testicles," Zexion said. History had taught him to be concerned about the condition of such things with Demyx. Cloud considered it for a moment.

"Well did you get any samples from Demyx after you guys tested them?" the blonde asked. Zexion shook his head.

"No. I didn't. I wish I had. I assume you didn't get any from Leon?"

"Nope."

"Well that's a problem," Zexion said and looked to Axel. "Want to do me a favor?"

"I'm not taking anything," the redhead said and narrowed his eyes.

"Didn't think so," the Charge sighed.

"Maybe Riku w—" Axel offered before he stopped himself. Zexion quirked a brow and watched Axel's pupils dilate for a second before going back to normal again. The redhead blinked and shook his head a bit, laughing some under his breath.

"What the hell was that?" Cloud asked, with a raised brow.

"Sorry… my Signet's flipping out," Axel said and chuckled.

"Is everything alright?" Zexion asked.

"Yeah. Everything's fine. Roxas must be bored, that's all."

"…How can you tell when he's bored?" Cloud asked.

"Well the sensitivity is set really high on ours right now," Axel said. Cloud looked even more confused.

"You can adjust the sensitivity?" the blonde asked.

"You didn't know that?" Zexion asked. Cloud shook his head and looked at his watch.

"No, should I have?" he asked. Zexion cleared the distance between them and looked at the blonde's watch with him.

"You have the older model from like… twenty years ago. You can't adjust the sensitivity on those," Zexion chuckled.

"And do you realize that it's been up until about a year ago that I was asking for a new one? I keep getting ignored," Cloud grumped.

"I had to smash mine beyond repair before they gave me a new one. Coming up with a plausible excuse as to _why_ it was so smashed was the hard part," Zexion said. Axel wasn't really paying attention to their banter; he was busy standing off to the side with a small smile as he paid close attention to everything that was being transmitted over the Signet for him. He couldn't feel the same things Roxas was feeling, but being told about it was almost just as good.

"What did you end up telling them? Maybe I should try the same thing," Cloud asked. He now understood why the Signet hadn't said anything about Leon's tumor. It wasn't a life threatening issue, so the little machine didn't see the problem. Perhaps if he was able to turn up the sensitivity like most everyone else was apparently able to, they may have seen it weeks or even months ago. The thought that something so simple could've prevented everything made his blood boil but he decided to save it and rip Ansem a new one later.

"I almost don't want to tell you," Zexion said and laughed a bit.

"Oh yeah? Why not?"

"Because I told them it was your fault," the shorter Charge said. Cloud gaped at him.

"What the hell? Really?"

"I did. They believed me relatively easily, too."

"Oh good lord," Cloud said and rubbed his forehead. He sighed. "I guess I'll have to come up with something better than that I suppose." He hesitated. "You know what? No. I'm not done with this. What did you tell them I did to it?" he asked, turning to Zexion fully and crossing his arms over his chest. The other Charge shrugged.

"Ran it over with your motorcycle."

"Why the _fuck_ would I bother doing that?"

"I have no idea. Which is why I was a little surprised when they believed me," Zexion said simply. Cloud sighed again and grumbled under his breath. Axel snorted a bit and they looked to him. He smiled.

"Sorry, I'm a little distracted. I have no idea what you were talking about. Did I miss something important?" the redhead asked. Cloud shook his head.

"Forget it," he huffed. "What were you saying about Riku before?"

"I was going to suggest asking Riku to test the drug for you and see what his results are. I'm…" the Carrier trailed for a moment. "I'm actually going to get back to you on that, I need to take care of something," he said quickly and left. Zexion and Cloud exchanged a confused look with one another.

* * *

 _What to do? What to do?_ Roxas thought to himself as he air dried in his room, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't have very many options. He was feeling considerably better though since he bathed and was able to get rid of the lawn on his face. His morale was a little better and he let his mind wander for a bit before deciding he wanted to think about Axel. All the talk about dicks previously and being surrounded by wet naked bodies did nothing to sate his libido and the redhead was quick to come to mind once he had a moment to himself.

The blonde took a moment to think before he started anything. Old habits were beginning to rear their heads in the back of his mind and he glared at the wall across from him in spite of himself. Was he _really_ getting ready to masturbate to thoughts and mental pictures of Axel? Roxas didn't know what to think. He had never masturbated to anyone personal before let alone another guy. He was usually either having enough sex to not care about jerking off or there was porn involved. Not the whole 'sit around and fantasize about my boyfriend' thing he seemed to be conjuring up for himself.

 _…Boyfriend?_ He thought. Could Axel even be called that? They had never talked about titles or whatever before but the concept was intriguing. It was understood that he was Charge to the redhead's Carrier but was there anything outside of that they should concern themselves with? Roxas didn't know. If they did decide to call each other something more, didn't that imply a certain amount of love that needed to be involved? Did Axel love him? Did he love Axel? The thoughts began muddling together and he ran tired fingers through his damp hair. His chest tightened a bit as he tried to sort them out and he ended up pushing them all aside in favor of taking care of his libido issues first.

 _One thing at a time_ , he assured himself.

* * *

By the time Axel had skittered back into his bedroom, sample canister in hand, his chest hurt with how much he missed his Charge. He had effectively distracted himself enough to keep the pain away for a while but the thought of Roxas needing to pleasure himself without the option of asking for his assistance brought everything back. He was fully prepared to leap into his bed and join the blonde in his ministrations and hope the signal he sent back to told him 'hey, I'm thinking about you too' but the longer he thought about it, the more upsetting it was. He laughed a bit; he felt like Roxas. Forcing himself to think too much and ruining the moment. He tossed the sample canister on his bed and watched it roll to a stop. He had hesitated too much in Cloud's lab anyway. The blonde had already finished.

* * *

Roxas was washing his hands when his door was bashed open for the second time that day. He yelped and was immediately thankful he had bothered to get dressed after he was finished because Xemnas strode in, poking away at his tablet and looking surly.

"What the fuck do _you_ want?" the blonde asked snidely. The Technician shrugged.

"Oh nothing," he said casually and motioned over his shoulder a bit before a large man strode in behind him and grabbed the blonde's arm harshly. Roxas immediately tried to pull away from him but his efforts were fruitless. An overwhelming sense of dread came over him and he was yanked out of his room quickly and dragged down the hall.

"No! I don't want to go with you!" Roxas cried and tried to grab any doorframes or knobs as they passed by in an effort to delay their movements. Xemnas exited his room calmly, still occupied with his tablet and marched after them. They didn't go very far before the large man pulling the blonde pushed open another door and flung the Charge inside.

"Just keep breathing!" Xemnas called into the room before the door was slammed shut again and locked.

" _Shit_ ," Roxas swore to himself as he tried to pull the door open again even though he knew it wouldn't budge. He kicked it. He let his forehead rest against the metal for a moment, his mind racing. That's when he noticed the smell of vomit and he turned some. He startled. He wasn't alone like he thought he was. In one corner on the far wall was a puddle of regurgitated mess, like he knew there would be but the Carrier that was in the corner opposite to that was what scared him the most. The male was panting heavily and trying to support himself against the wall with shaky arms, trying to remain in control of himself. His legs started to shake and he let himself flop to the floor, keeping his face averted and in the corner. Even though Roxas couldn't see him, he already knew who it was and it scared him to no end. The male was already feeling the effects of whatever drugs Xemnas had injected into his body and it was obvious to the Charge that the Carrier was in a lot of pain. Whether how much of that was physical, he wasn't sure but Roxas dreaded the amount of emotional turmoil they would put each other through once they went home after their quarantines.

After all, one hundred and forty years of being faithful to Cloud was sure to rip Leon apart.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

Roxas' mind was flying a mile a minute. He had absolutely no idea what to do. Demyx hadn't gone into specifics as to what happened between he and Mary outside of the rape itself. All he knew was that Demyx hadn't acted like himself. Leon intimidated Roxas by just being himself all the time, the Charge couldn't imagine how he would be if he _wasn't_ himself. Leon was struggling though, that much was obvious. The Carrier seemed fully aware that he was going to hurt someone and was doing everything in his power to prevent it, which gave Roxas some comfort.

A light clicked on behind a window Roxas hadn't realized was there before. In the room on the other side was a stool and the blonde watched Xemnas calmly walk in, take a seat, and start watching. Roxas was horrified. The only thing he could think of to make it worse was if Xemnas was recording everything, which it didn't seem like he was. His attention was brought back to Leon though when the Carrier let out a loud grunt and his fists went up to grab onto his hair in a frantic attempt to keep everything at bay.

Leon could already tell who was in the room even without looking. He knew Roxas' scent just like he knew most everyone else's. He was trying his best to keep himself lucid but the drugs were creeping in the edges of his mind and making things incredibly difficult. A headache was brewing and he focused on the pain rather than the intense heat he felt under his skin. His desires were beginning to grow and he grit his teeth against them. He kept his eyes squeezed shut and his body facing the wall. He _refused_ to let himself get out of control. He couldn't allow it. Even if it killed him.

Roxas didn't know what to do. He was afraid to say anything and bring Leon's attention to him. He was afraid to move for the same reason. He needed someone's advice but didn't trust himself enough to ask Leon for it. That'd be an odd question, 'Hey, how do I keep you from raping me?' That didn't seem like the best way of going about things. He watched Xemnas. The Technician was watching Leon intently and jotting notes on his tablet the longer the Carrier struggled. Leon released his hair and looked over at the window shakily. Roxas could see the Carrier's eyes wildly flipping through every color imaginable and he wondered what Axel's would look like doing the same thing.

Leon swallowed thickly. He could see Xemnas clearly. He no longer cared about Roxas being in the room with him. His eyes were locked on Xemnas and his breathing sped up. The drugs were forcing him under but so long as he could focus on Xemnas, Roxas would be safe. That's what he told himself anyway. He wondered how thick the glass between them was. That was the last coherent thought he formed before he was taken over. His body surrendered to the heat, the desire, the pain, everything.

Roxas raised a brow. Leon's tension left him and the expression on his face went cold, unregistering of anything else. He was staring at Xemnas and he calmly pushed himself from the ground and went to the window between them. The Technician raised a brow suspiciously. On his side of the window, Roxas could hear Leon laugh a little under his breath, almost like a sound of relief as a malicious grin spread over his face. Xemnas's bows furrowed. He didn't hear the laugh, only saw the smile.

The window itself was almost as tall as the rooms it divided. There were a few feet at the top and maybe a few inches at the bottom where the wall showed but it was built for observation so everything needed to be seen. It was more of a glass wall than a window, but it didn't quite span the entire length of the room. Leon's grin persisted and the longer it stayed, the more disturbed Roxas became. Xemnas raised a brow again at the Carrier and pointed to Roxas through the glass but Leon didn't look. The blonde's heart skipped a beat when he was pointed to but was happy when he wasn't given the consideration. No, Leon wanted Xemnas.

In Leon's hazy state, he was weighing his options. He needed the one behind the glass but he wasn't sure if he could bust through it with enough time to grab him. He looked around the window and took in its steel frames. It was built strong and the man behind it didn't seem very worried, which was such a shame. Leon wanted to scare him; to smell that delicious fear underneath that caramel skin. It was so tempting. He put a hand on the glass and felt it, he pushed a little, feeling it stay in place firmly. Xemnas watched him curiously, completely calm. He didn't feel threatened in the least.

* * *

Cloud's watch started to beep at him and he growled at it and its awful noise. He hated the little device, regardless of how useful it was. All it did was beep and then deliver bad news. There was no happy involved. He looked at it though, like a good little Charge.

_Instinct threshold pushing limit_

_Implant/Primal manner interchanging_

_Predatory instinct peaked_

_Fever_

_Self control malfunction_

_Loss of Implant free will_

_Foreign antigens in cranial cavity_

_Link distortion_

_Electrical frequency fluctuating_

Cloud's eyebrows rose. He didn't know what to make of it all. Something was seriously screwing with Leon's Link and it was unsettling. Immediately, his mind went to the Carrier's tumor. Had it spread? Did it grow? What was it pressing against now? There were too many questions for him to feel comfortable with. He considered sending a report to Ansem but then remembered how useless the man was in emergencies. His mind flew through a list of options but he settled on one.

He had to stop by the store though.

* * *

Roxas inched along the wall and made his way to the corner that was the farthest away from Leon. He was frightened, to be sure, but he was also insanely curious as to what he was witnessing. Leon was feeling the glass like it was a fine piece of silk. His fingers traced along its glossy surface gently, even in his crazed looking state. It was strange. The Carrier started to knock on the glass in several places, feeling the vibrations through his fingertips for any sort of fault in it's makeup he could exploit. He laughed to himself bitterly when he found a spot. It was small, but it might be enough.

The thrill was in the chase after all. Just like ostrich eggs. Feel and manipulate the hard surface until you can get a fang in, and then rip it apart. Xemnas looked completely befuddled by the Carrier's strange behavior. Leon stood in front of the imperfection in the glass and stared at the Technician. He laid his forehead against the surface and pressed his hips against it, grinding his needy genitals in his direction. Xemnas scowled. Leon's grin was the most angering part though. The Technician needed him to react to the Charge behind him, not windows.

"Get over here…" Leon sneered through his teeth though Xemnas didn't hear. Roxas did though and he was confused. He decided to sit on the floor and watch, making himself as small and as nonthreatening as he could, to keep Leon's attention away from him. The Carrier licked the glass, leaving a long streak of saliva across it before pressing his body against it fully and taunting Xemnas. The Technician rolled his eyes and stood from his stool. He went to stand directly in front of Leon and banged on the glass to get him off of it. The Carrier backed up an inch and laughed.

Everything happened in a blur. Leon reared back and sent his fist straight through the glass, grabbing onto Xemnas' lab coat and yanking him harshly into the window. Roxas startled and yelped at the sudden activity and the Technician let out a strangled bark. The glass itself was a spider web of cracks around the hole and the Carrier was quick to manipulate them, pulling the shards away and ignoring them as they dug into his fingers. The floor on Roxas' side was littered with the glittering pieces and the rest of the window was splattered with tiny droplets of Leon's blood.

Leon used both bleeding hands to grab onto Xemnas' clothes and pull on him, breaking the window further with the force. The Technician was emitting a series of loud grunts mixed with terrified yells as his body bowed outward, breaking through the barrier. Eventually the hole became big enough and Leon ducked, pushing his upper body through and grabbing the man around the waist and pulling him. The Carrier used his legs to brace himself on the cracking window and with a few quick yanks, the window shattered and Xemnas was pulled through completely.

The Technician landed with a thud, flopping harshly against the hard floor as Leon flung him backwards, falling to the ground with him. Roxas was on his feet and attempting to get away from the fray. He bolted across the room quickly before Xemnas could skid too close to him. His shoes crunched across the glass loudly and he hoped he didn't distract Leon. Once he was in the other corner, he could see that Leon was bleeding a lot. None of the cuts he had looked very deep though, which was good and it obviously didn't bother him very much because he was on his feet again quickly.

Xemnas though, wasn't faring as well. For as tough as he was, Xemnas was still human. He wasn't a match for Leon's strength and being thrown onto the floor like he had been didn't help matters. His face was bleeding, his neck was bleeding and the only reason the rest of him wasn't bleeding was because he was fully clothed. He attempted to regain his composure and get away before Leon had a chance to reach him again, but he couldn't. The Carrier caught him easily and threw the back of his lab to the side and wrapped his fingers over the tops of the man's slacks and yanked on them.

Roxas couldn't watch. He scooted around the wall and carefully made his way through the broken window into the other room. Xemnas' tablet was on the stool and he eyed it curiously. He was distracted though when the Technician let out a strangled yell and the sound of cloth tearing rippled through the space. Xemnas was clawing at the ground trying to pull himself away but Leon was right there to thwart his feeble attempts. Roxas furrowed his brows. Xemnas had a nice butt. He shook his head to get rid of the image and mashed his palms into his eyes to obliterate it further. He forced his eyes away and looked around. He noticed the door on his side and went to check it. It was locked. Apparently Xemnas didn't like any disturbances while he was observing the mayhem he created. Roxas couldn't even feel bad for him anymore, Xemnas deserved whatever Leon was going to give him.

* * *

Cloud galloped down the hall as fast as his legs would carry him. He nearly crashed into Axel when the redhead rounded the corner suddenly though, forcing him to hesitate.

"Whoa! Where're you going?" Axel called after the blonde as he took off again. "Cloud!" he called again and ran to catch up, which wasn't very hard.

"I need to see Leon. Something's wrong with him," the Charge said as they burst through the front doors of the facility together. Cloud bolted across the lawn, digging in his pocket for his keys. Axel chased after him.

"What's wrong?" the redhead asked. Cloud swung a leg over his motorcycle quickly and shoved the key in the ignition just as his watch beeped again. He checked it.

_Bloodlust_

_Hunting instinct initiated in Implant form_

Cloud paled. Axel looked over his shoulder and his eyes widened. Without waiting for an invitation, the redhead plopped onto the motorcycle behind Cloud and the blonde startled a bit, snapping out of his foggy state. He turned the ignition over and they were off. At the very least, if Axel came with him, the redhead could be the muscle that stopped Leon from whatever it was he was doing.

* * *

Leon was out of control. Everything Xemnas did made him desire the man more. His screams, his fear, the smell of his blood, his attempts to scramble away, the feeling of his skin, the smell of his sweat, everything. The Carrier couldn't even focus on how tight the Technician was around him. Everything else was clouding his mind over and taking control of him. Leon pounded into Xemnas with enough force to push the man's body across the floor and force him into a corner. The constant slaps of skin against skin coupled with the sound of Leon's animalistic grunts and snarls made Roxas' stomach churn.

The blonde was _overjoyed_ it wasn't him. Xemnas was frantic and trying to fight back but the Carrier had him pinned, he wasn't getting away from it. Roxas took up the Technician's tablet and stylus, sitting on the stool and attempting to ignore what was happening on the other side of the window. He had no remorse. Xemnas was an awful person and years of beating Carriers down probably ingrained some sort of feral hate into Leon's temperament anyway, and it manifested when he wasn't in control of himself. Even if he tried to, Roxas wouldn't be able to stop him. He could barely do a pull-up in gym class back in high school. He wasn't much of an athlete, to say the least.

What he could do though was read. Xemnas' tablet was like the Pandora's Box of information for him and he flicked through the windows of text, quickly becoming lost in its tomes. Every report of every Carrier the man had tested on was in there, and apparently, Xemnas had made over a dozen different drugs to use on them. There were marketing plans for the ones that were successful, and the information he would need to mass produce them. It was fascinating at how detailed everything was. It was all very meticulous. Roxas furrowed his brows.

* * *

"Get fitted for a suit," Cloud ordered and pointed across the storefront. Axel jogged across the space and started talking with the clerk. The blonde turned down an aisle and checked the stock of clear-coats. "Cid!" he called.

"Is that you Cloud?" the other, older blonde called from his position behind the counter. Cid owned a shop by the gate entrance that carried the latest in anti-radiation clothing and clear-coats for vehicles. He and Cloud had gotten to know each other fairly well over the years. They looked similar in some respects. Cid was older Cloud was but his stasis treatments hadn't started until he was in his early forties so he was obviously a little more aged in appearance. He was a little rough around the edges but he never turned down a good customer or an opportunity to keep someone safe from the drudgery that was the unrelenting radiation.

"I need a spray," Cloud said and picked up a couple cans of clear-coat. "Like right now," he continued and pushed the cans into Cid's arms. The owner looked his friend over.

"Something up?" he asked and Cloud put up a hand.

"No time, I need to leave," the Charge said quickly and set his keys on top of the cans before leaving the other standing in the aisle confusedly. Cid furrowed his brows a bit but shrugged. So long as Cloud paid, he didn't care. He quickly made his way into the back of the shop and out the back door, cans in hand.

"I hate shoes," Axel grumbled as he forced on a pair of boots. The little female clerk who was working with him giggled. The Carrier was lucky that Cid was nearly as tall as he was, because that meant the store carried anti-radiation suits that would fit him. He could survive the radiation longer than humans could, but taking the risk was never a good thing. If he was exposed to it for too long, he'd break down just like anyone else would. As the redhead worked to lace the boots up, his mind reeled. Most of his concern was for Leon, but he didn't know where his friend was, and that meant Roxas might be in the crossfire somewhere. The biggest problem that Leon would face would be when it came time to sedate him. Would the people involved deem him a rogue and kill him on sight or give him a chance? Axel didn't know the circumstances surrounding everything so he couldn't say for sure.

Cloud's mind was working so quickly to form coherent thoughts that his body went on auto-pilot. In the back of Cid's shop there was a storage area for reoccurring customers and he had a locker back there of which he was digging through to find his suit. He heard Cid's sprayer start up outside and he breathed a little sigh of relief; at least the man had taken him seriously and got to work. It would take ten minutes to cover his bike if the man worked quickly enough and another ten to dry. It would take forty-five minutes to get to dome 815 if he drove full speed and didn't hit anything too huge along the way. He didn't like the gap in time, but he had little choice. Customs at the gate would probably give him some grief about Axel too, which was an added hindrance.

Anti-radiation suits looked more like glorified footie pajamas except made for adults. They had attached feet, and attached gloves, and an attached hood that looked more like it belonged on a wet suit for scuba diving. They came in a wide variety of colors and styles but the most practical ones were black. Cid sold black ones mostly, but he had a small stock of other overly bright colors for the ladies if they so chose. They were made of a lightweight skin tight material with a long zipper encased behind another strip of fabric for total protection. Just like the clear-coats for vehicles though, they were temporary repellants and only lasted for about six hours per suit before it needed to be exchanged for a new one. Six hours was more than enough for their purposes.

"I feel like I should be deep sea diving," Axel huffed as the suit clung to him uncomfortably. The clerk smiled at him.

"You could technically do that if you want to. You just need an air tank," she said cheerfully. Axel snorted. She left him for a moment before coming back with a helmet for him. The helmet looked like any other motorcycle helmet one could find, but had an extra membrane inside that slid over the wearer's head and face to make a complete seal for the suit. The mouth of the helmet was a bit thicker and contained a special respirator with an anti-radiation filter inside so the person could breathe easily. The entire helmet was able to be seen through though, with a sort of one-way mirror plastic material without the reflective outside. Only the one wearing it could see out, but they were shielded from the intense sunlight from the outside. Axel was thankful for that, but he couldn't get over the odd sensation of having to wear shoes. He had to wear some while they went to the convention but they were light and hardly noticeable. The boots he was wearing now were thick and clunky to protect his feet from the rocks and dirt flying everywhere outside. Also, if he happened to stick his foot on the hot exhaust pipe of Cloud's bike, he wouldn't get scorched.

Cloud joined him just as Cid came back in from clear coating the bike. The Charge was quick to pay him for the work and Axel's suit but didn't stick around for any small talk. He pulled the redhead along back outside and made their way back to Cloud's bike. It had a nice pearly sheen all over it and the blonde poked at it, making sure it was dry before plopping himself on it again. Axel joined him and they were off yet again.

* * *

Roxas was absorbed into Xemnas' tablet. He couldn't even hear the man's muffled screams anymore. Leon had the Technician's face squashed into the floor with the end of his lab coat stuffed in his mouth to keep him from making too much noise. After the first few times, the Carrier's headache had pushed through everything and though he still had needs he needed to fill, he was getting annoyed by the man's voice. Roxas was busy reading everything he could find. Reports, inspections, agendas, missions, information on other dimensions where he needed to go to find possible Charge candidates, information on other Technicians, the security reports for his apparently very lavish home, everything.

It wasn't until his eyes started to hurt from so much reading that he stopped and refocused his attention elsewhere. By that point, he had been reading and Leon had been raping the hell out of the man for over an hour and Roxas was a little put off at how easy it was for him to not give a damn. He was also wondering why no one had come to help. Xemnas had been making a lot of noise in the beginning but the blonde assumed the room was soundproofed just like it was locked. Total privacy for whatever happened, he assumed. It wasn't like anyone was banging on the doors so no one in the hall probably cared to listen.

Roxas was hungry. The rooms were beginning to smell funny as well and he wondered how long this was going to last. Every time he felt a little disturbed by the instance that was playing out not too far from him, all he had to recall was the image of Axel's back after the convention and he didn't care anymore. Xemnas could rot for all he cared. For all the pain the man had caused for Axel and Demyx (not to mention countless others), being raped by one of the 'creatures' he fought so hard to control of and keep underfoot seemed to be fitting punishment for him. He only hoped Leon would puncture something so the man would get an infection and possibly die. That'd be fine too.

Then, the dynamic changed. Leon wasn't getting enough and his anger began to increase. Roxas had gone back to reading the man's tablet and discovered a few of the various controls it had, such as forcing Carriers to change at will, and other things so he was too occupied to notice. The russet Carrier dug his nails into Xemnas' skin and raked back layers of his skin, feeling how easily it gave into his force. Leon stopped, taking in the new feeling. The Technician whimpered against the cloth in his mouth and tried to pull himself away and Leon let him for a few feet. Xemnas crawled away pathetically, blood dripping down his legs from where Leon had abused him, and his back aching with the new openings. He pulled the wad of his coat out of his mouth and looked behind himself at the Carrier. Leon was leering at him and it made his blood run cold.

It wasn't so much the expression on the Carrier's face that was terrifying but it was the fact that the shifting colors of his eyes had sped up considerably and his hair was starting to flicker as well. Xemnas hadn't seen that adverse reaction in his tests previously and it terrified him because he was going to be on the receiving end of whatever else the Carrier wanted. His observation had lasted all of a few seconds before Leon gripped his ankles and pulled him back across the floor. Xemnas' throat was scorching and dry, his pleas had turned into hoarse squeaks more than anything language worthy. He was flipped onto his back and he yelled as pieces of broken glass dug into his skin. He didn't have much time to adjust though before Leon was inside him again and pounding away.

All Leon could see was red. Everything needed to either please him, or it was dead. There was no gray area anymore. Xemnas wasn't pleasing him anymore and it angered him to no end. Leon wasn't Leon anymore. The drugs mixed with his anger and his headstrong chemistry had raked him over and turned him into something no one would recognize. He was still physically like Leon, but he wasn't himself mentally anymore. Xemnas had coerced something out of him that the man couldn't even comprehend. The only thing that could've given Xemnas some mercy was maybe if Leon was in his Primal form so his death would be quicker.

The Carrier snarled and the muscles rippled in his arms when he couldn't get enough out of the body underneath him. He began to rake his nails into Xemnas' torso angrily and the Technician screamed and his skin was slowly torn apart. Leon quickly ripped a piece of the lab coat off of him and shoved it into the man's mouth to keep him quiet. His head was _pounding_ and he didn't need the distraction. Roxas' attention had been brought back to them at this point and he gaped at the Carrier as Leon's hair flickered wildly before going completely white and lifeless.

"Leon!" the blonde cried when he noticed the Carrier ripping into Xemnas' skin. He attempted to stand from the stool and by the time he made it to the hole in the window, Xemnas' torso was a bleeding mess as Leon began to disembowel him with blunt fingers and rough movements. Roxas' stomach lurched and pieces of the Technician splattered onto the floor with wet plops. The Charge staggered away from the window and turned into a corner to vomit.

Leon pushed himself up onto his feet and leaned over the man below him. He pulled Xemnas' up by his hair. The Technician was unconscious, possibly even dead, but Leon didn't care. All he knew was that this person was making him unsatisfied and incredibly angry. He threw the body to the side and it smacked into the wall before slumping to the floor. The Carrier stalked after him and grabbed the face he hated so much and looked it over. Xemnas was unresponsive. Leon snarled again and grabbed onto the man's throat. He squeezed as hard as he could until his fingers closed around anything in its path. By the time he was satisfied, his fingertips were nearly touching the inside of his palms, crushing everything in between. He twisted harshly and pulled backwards, ripping the man's throat open and pulling everything out and flinging it behind him.

* * *

Axel's Signet was going nuts. Roxas was having a serious emotional breakdown somewhere and vomiting. The two problems were probably related, they usually were. If the redhead had to bet, he would've said that Leon was doing something terrible and Roxas was there to witness it. According to the signals Cloud had, Leon was most likely killing someone or something. That prospect in of itself was frightening. Roxas being anywhere near it, scared Axel even more. He wondered if Demyx was having the same issues before but not to the same extreme. Whatever Xemnas was doing over there to the Carriers was enough to make them go out of control. Axel was worried, but riding on the back of Cloud's motorcycle made communication difficult so he couldn't say anything just yet.

They were almost there though, he could see Dome 815's gate.

* * *

Roxas had pushed himself into the furthest corner of the room, away from Leon. He was having a panic attack. The Carrier was ripping chunks out of the Technician like he was made of cotton and paper but filled with blood. When he didn't have the leverage, Leon crouched down onto Xemnas' remains and resumed his bloodbath. The Charge couldn't stop watching. He wanted to, he desperately _desperately_ wanted to, but he couldn't. No amount of reading was going to distract him from what he was seeing.

He was scared. If Leon got bored, would he go after the blonde? What was going to make him stop? Roxas didn't know and he couldn't think straight enough to come up with a way out. With how easily the Carrier had torn into the man, he doubted he could get away. Leon was faster than him and would catch him easily. There was no way around it. The doors were locked and no one had come in yet, so Roxas doubted anyone else had a key. Xemnas probably had them in his coat somewhere but he wasn't making any moves anytime soon.

At the very least, the Carrier hadn't started using his teeth. Everything was being done with his hands. Roxas wouldn't be able to take it if Leon had started eating the man. Leon had pulled most of Xemnas' innards from his abdominal cavity and strewn them about, loving the feeling of the warmth and the smell of his blood against his skin. He raked his fingers through the man's lungs and deemed his ribcage was a problem. He grabbed the bones in either hand and with a quick pull in either direction they snapped open like an old wooden crate.

Roxas' stomach lurched again and he had barely enough time to stand and stagger away from his spot before he heaved up whatever was left in his stomach. Once he was finished he wobbled over to the door and tried to pull it open again. There weren't any more latches or knobs to pull and there was only a keyhole in the knob signifying that one tiny lock was what was keeping him inside. The sounds of bones crunching and moist slaps and splashing resounded over the space and the blonde's legs felt weak from it all. He couldn't stand it anymore and the turmoil wracked his body, forcing pathetic tears from his eyes as he pounded a hysterical fist against the door.

"Please…make it stop," he pleaded with the door as he hiccupped. His pounding dwindled to open handed slaps and he slid to the floor, sobbing loudly as the mayhem continued unseen. He huddled on the floor and covered his ears, but the damage had already been done and he couldn't get the sights and sounds out of his mind.

* * *

Cloud and Axel dismounted the bike and quickly pulled off their helmets. Axel immediately pulled down the little hood and shook his hair free. Cloud did the same, but did it on his way to the door. The redhead joined him quickly and the Charge growled in frustration when he found the door to be locked. Axel put a hand on it, and grinned. It was the same kind of door that was used on the bedrooms in the facility. The only problem was that it needed to be pulled outward, instead of kicked inward and the frames were steel instead of the usual aluminum.

"Hang on," Axel said and nudged Cloud backwards. Axel grabbed the knob and put a foot on the wall beside it. He gave it a firm tug and it didn't budge. He pulled harder, and the same result. He bore down again and used his legs and the metal creaked loudly before the doorknob broke and he pulled the mechanics outward, causing him to stagger backwards. He raised a brow and shrugged. Good enough. He knocked all the pieces out of the hole where the knob was and yanked the door open.

"Hey!" a guard called down the hall when he heard all the commotion. Axel and Cloud strode inside easily and the Charge put a hand up to stop the guard's protests.

"There's a problem," the blonde said.

"And why the fuck should I give a damn?" the guard barked. Axel stood behind the blonde, waiting to be useful again. He sniffed the air a bit. He smelled blood. There were a few other human guards around, but no one else and he didn't know where it was coming from.

"My Carrier is here and he's having a serious problem and we need to address it," Cloud continued. Axel put a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you smell blood or am I being weird?" the redhead asked. The guard quirked a brow. Cloud sniffed the air a bit and shrugged.

"Blood?" the guard questioned. "Where?"

"Hang on," Axel said sniffed a bit more. He pushed past Cloud and the other man before making his way down the hallway.

"H-hey! You can't go in there!" the guard called after him. Axel ignored him and wrinkled his nose a bit when he knew he was getting close. Cloud chased after them, a sense of dread coming over him. He knew Leon was having problems of the killer variety but he was fearful of the discovery. He couldn't smell the blood like Axel could, but he didn't doubt the redhead any. Blood at quarantine wasn't a very good thing. Quarantine wasn't supposed to be violent and when there was blood involved that _wasn't_ coming from women on their menstrual cycles, it usually meant there was foul play involved. With the way Axel was acting, cautious and careful, Cloud felt uneasy. He knew the amount of blood the redhead smelled couldn't have come from someone's discarded tampon. Axel had gotten a whiff all the way at the entrance, for Christ's sake.

"Here," the redhead said as he stopped in front of a pair of doors. He put an ear to one and could hear sobbing, coupled with a series of noises he couldn't even place. He put his ear to the other and the unfamiliar sounds were louder. The guard stared at him and the color drained from his face. The man knew what those doors were. Xemnas used the rooms for his tests. Axel moved back to the first door and listened to the cries. He furrowed his brows. "Roxas? Roxas!" he yelled when the realization hit him. He grabbed the knob and pulled on it. Nothing.

* * *

Roxas hiccupped again. The noises had stopped on the other side of the room and there was a light crunching as Leon walked across the pieces of broken glass. The blonde blinked back eyefuls of tears and looked up to see the Carrier stagger through the hole in the window, covered in blood. His hair was as white as could be and his eyes had stopped shifting colors. The Charge froze in fear. Leon staggered a bit, blearily blinking his eyes as he stumbled into the room with the blonde. His glossy gaze shifted to Roxas. He stood still for a moment before his abdomen lurched and he abruptly vomited, most of it containing water and blood. The Carrier staggered again once he was finished and he looked to Roxas again before his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed onto the floor. The blonde was horrified. He grabbed his hair and let out a scream as he stared at the lifeless Carrier a few feet away from him.

* * *

The guard had left the pair at the doors to go find a set of keys. Axel was frantically trying to yank the heavy steel door open but he couldn't get it to budge. Cloud was pulling on the other just as much. The redhead froze when he heard Roxas scream and he banged on the door to get some sort of response.

"Roxas! Hang on!" he yelled into the metal and kicked it.

* * *

Roxas startled and was pulled from his hysterics for a moment when he heard his name. It was extremely quiet and seemed so far away, but the banging on the door and the jiggling of the knob accompanying it helped considerably. His entire body was shaking and his gaze flicked from Leon to the door and back again. He didn't know what to think.

* * *

Eventually, the guard had come back and he fumbled with the keys clumsily before finding the right one and fumbling some more to get it into the keyhole. The man didn't know what to think, but he did know that blood mixed with Xemnas' tests were never a good thing. He feared for his boss' life. When he could get the door unlocked Axel shoved him out of the way and pushed it open quickly. Cloud shoved the guard away further and pushed past Axel.

"Squall!" the taller blonde screamed and bounded across the room, sliding across the floor on his knees to his lover's side.

"Axel!" Roxas yelled from his position on the floor and the redhead's attention snapped to him.

"Roxas…" Axel sighed in relief. He stepped to his Charge and knelt to him, gathering the quivering blonde up in his arms and hugging him close. "Are you okay?" he asked. Roxas burst into tears again and clung to the Carrier in a desperate attempt to keep the flood of recent memories at bay. Cloud scooped Leon up off the floor and squashed the Carrier to his chest. He tried to feel for a pulse in his neck but the anti-radiation suit didn't help any and he set Leon down again to unzip it some and pull an arm free. He felt Leon's neck again and let out a long sigh. He was alive. He was fine.

"Sir!" the guard gasped as he crossed the room and looked through the hole in the window. Axel and Cloud looked to where the man was looking and they both startled at the sight if the carnage. Cloud looked at the mess that was Xemnas' corpse and then at Leon again, taking in the Carrier's appearance for the first time. The pieces started to put themselves together for the Charge little by little and he ran his fingers through his lover's colorless hair and sighed sadly.

This was a problem.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

Roxas clung to Axel. He felt like a helpless child with the way he was crumbling apart emotionally on the redhead but he couldn't help himself. The Carrier didn't think any less of him though and pulled his Charge to his chest and scooped him up. The guard was staring at Xemnas' mostly empty body with his mouth hanging open and was too distracted to notice Axel take Roxas out into the hall. The redhead leaned against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. The blonde held his face in his hands and leaned against Axel's collarbones, his body shaking uncontrollably with his traumatized tears.

Cloud, on the other hand, was practically ready to skip home gleefully. He was overjoyed that Leon was safe, despite how awful the circumstances were. Gore didn't do anything for him. He could handle innards and blood. He could also handle broken bones, large puddles of vomit and dead bodies. He had a small smirk on his face as he carefully tucked Leon back into his shorts and zipped them into place again. The guard was devastated though and his legs buckled before he fell to his knees, eyes locked on Xemnas still. Cloud shifted Leon around and hoisted the Carrier up with a light grunt. When he exited into the hall, Roxas' cries halted for a moment.

"How can you be so calm? Leon's dead isn't he? What the fuck is wrong with you?" the blonde screamed at the other Charge, his voice hoarse and cracking. Cloud quirked a brow.

"He's dead? I thought he was sleeping," the taller blonde said calmly. Roxas furrowed his brows together, horribly confused. Axel had no idea what Cloud was talking about either but didn't want to talk about Leon right now. He grabbed Roxas' face and pulled the blonde's attention back to him. His Charge sniffled loudly and looked to him with wide drippy eyes and it made Axel's heart melt.

"Is everyone insane? Why isn't anyone upset?" Roxas asked quietly, snorting back a noseful of snot. Cloud took a seat in the hall several yards away from them and cradled Leon in his lap. Axel gave his Charge a tiny smile.

"You seem pretty upset to me," the redhead said. The blonde pushed his brows together. Axel laughed a bit. "I'm just happy to see you. One thing at a time, Roxas," he said. The Charge took a second to register what he said. It almost hadn't occurred to him that Axel was there. Like, he knew Axel was there, but he hadn't realized that he was there in _quarantine_ with him when he wasn't supposed to be. It was an odd feeling, but one he didn't dwell on very long. He sniffled again, filling his head with the image of Axel's face, rather than what was inside the room next to them. Axel's face was so much nicer to think about. The guard came bounding out of the room and he ran down the hall, yelling for his cohorts. Roxas blinked.

"Tablet," he blurted abruptly. Axel raised a brow.

"What?" the redhead asked.

"Grab Xemnas' tablet," the blonde said and pushed himself off of the redhead. Axel pulled himself from the floor and made his way back into the room. The Technician's tablet was sitting on the stool, right where Roxas had left it. He brought it back out into the hall with the stylus. Roxas took it from him and thought for a moment before lifting his shirt and tucking it against the band of his shorts and dropping the fabric over it and stuck the stylus in his pocket. Axel hiked a brow again. He sat on the floor again and Roxas replaced himself in the redhead's lap, pressing the tablet protectively between them.

"Why do we need that?" Axel asked, feeling he was inadvertently being involved in something sneaky.

"Evidence," Roxas said and reached shaky hands up to feel the redhead's face. Axel smiled a bit and leaned against one of the blonde's hands. Roxas' nerves were shot, stomped on, and blown to smithereens. He couldn't control the quaking in his limbs and he was battling horrific visions every millisecond but he could survive so long as he could watch the different flecks of green in Axel's eyes. He could feel his eyes water again and tears drip down his cheeks. The overflow of conflicting emotions was too much and he couldn't stop himself from breaking down again. The Carrier pulled him close and rubbed his back, letting him cry out all his twisted senses into his chest.

Cloud didn't do tears. Had Leon ever come to him like Roxas was to Axel, he'd be completely lost. No, he was perfectly content with Leon lying on him unconscious and not saying anything. So long as the Carrier was breathing, he didn't care. They could fix it. A flock of random guards and nameless dregs came down the hall and the taller blonde had the insatiable urge to stick his foot out and trip them all. He didn't though. He was already going to get enough unwanted negative attention once they realize Leon had killed their boss. It didn't take very long.

"Grab them both, toss them in a room and keep them there," one particularly perturbed guard barked as he pointed at Cloud and Leon. A few men came out and made to grab them but the Charge held up a hand to stop them and willingly stood, bringing Leon with him; there was no point in resisting. The men shoved the taller blonde down the hall and into the nearest available room and locked them inside without any complications.

"What about these two?" another guard asked and pointed at Axel and Roxas, the latter of which was still sobbing. The self appointed leader of their group looked at them and waved a hand.

"Take them to the little one's room," he barked and Axel took that as an open invitation to stand. He leaned a cheek against his Charge's hair and spoke softly into his ear.

"Where's your room?" the redhead asked and Roxas sniffled loudly and pushed away from his chest.

"I have no idea," the blonde said.

"Well who are you?" the guard asked impatiently.

"Roxas."

"That means nothing to me, kid."

"4x31's Charge," the blonde corrected and the guard nodded some.

* * *

Axel kicked Roxas' poor excuse of a bed across the room until it settled in the corner. He sat, taking the blonde with him and propped himself against the wall, letting Roxas settle against him comfortably. The blonde continued sniffling and crying on him softly and Axel pet his hair, rubbed his back, and rubbed a few tears away with his thumb. The gravity of the situation was slowly setting in for the redhead. He doubted he would sleep very well that evening with the view of Xemnas' body etched into his mind. He had had only a glimpse, a moment, almost like a snapshot of experience with the scene and he was horrified. He couldn't imagine what it was like for Roxas to watch it all unfold. He still had no idea what had happened, though the end result told the general idea.

"What are you wearing?" Roxas asked quietly as he sniffled again and sat up. He was beginning to run out of tears. He wiped at his face.

"Anti-radiation suit," Axel said simply. The blonde nodded and felt the fabric a bit, picking at it and pulling it away from the redhead's skin and letting it snap back into place. It was an idle activity he could use to distract himself as his mind fogged over. He was tired. So very tired. He wanted nothing more than to curl up against his Carrier and take a three day nap. His brain was blanking out and he couldn't think anymore but he was afraid to close his eyes. He lifted his shirt and pulled the tablet out again.

"Xemnas…" Roxas trailed, forcing his brain to work to form the words. He opened and shut his mouth a few times and settled for poking through the droves of information in the little device, looking for the reports of the drug tests. "He was testing drugs he had made on the Carriers," he said finally and sniffled some more, handing over the tablet to Axel which had Demyx's report. The Carrier took it and Roxas pushed himself out of the bed to go and brush his teeth. He wanted to get the tasted of stale vomit out of his mouth. Axel glared at the little screen as he read. Roxas came back after he was finished and sat on the bed, waiting for the redhead to finish reading. The blonde sniffled again and used his shirt to wipe his face and his nose.

"…Demyx raped someone while on these things?" Axel asked, his voice blank and slightly monotone. He started to put the pieces of story together. Roxas nodded.

"Yeah. Leon was raping Xemnas too. It would have been me had he not noticed Xemnas behind the window first," he added shakily, he sniffled again. Axel furrowed his brows and looked at the tablet, then to Roxas, then the tablet again. He set the device aside in favor of tugging his Charge to him again. He squeezed the blonde to his chest protectively and kissed his hair several times. With the new information, his mind had conjured up a series of images which replaced Xemnas' beaten corpse with Roxas' and he needed to confirm with himself that it hadn't happened. He let the blonde go for a moment to unzip the top half of his suit so he could slip his arms free and feel Roxas properly. The Charge was receptive and slipped his arms around the redhead's chest and rubbed his face into the fabric of his t-shirt.

"We need to get everyone out of here," Axel said, rubbing Roxas' back. The blonde nodded.

"How?" he asked. Axel slid a hand down and wiggled a finger into the blonde's pocket and tugged the stylus free. He took up the tablet up again and worked over the blonde's shoulder. Roxas turned to watch. Axel exited out of Demyx's report and went to the top of the list of documents. He clicked and dragged a loop around the entire list and went about sending everything to Ansem.

"When we send a status report, or a condition report, or something like that to Ansem, it gets sent to his home Catalogue terminal and sits around waiting for him to read it. But if a Committee member sends him something. It goes to him directly and this should grab his attention. Especially since I'm going to tell him that Xemnas is dead," Axel said and poked at the tablet's keyboard with the stylus, typing out a message. He didn't have the fine details like Roxas did but he knew enough to get the point across. He didn't say who was sending the report, but he did mention that he and another Charge tried to contact him earlier about this. Once it was sent, he set the device aside again and went back to rubbing Roxas' back. "Hopefully, he'll wake up and take control of the situation. We don't know who actually deserves to be here or not so I don't think it'd be wise to go around opening doors. Besides, it's not like we can get out."

"True," Roxas said and sighed. He resituated himself against Axel and laid his cheek on his shoulder. Axel held him lightly and they shared a long comfortable silence together, feeling content with simply being near each other.

"I missed you," Axel said after a while. Roxas looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"I missed you too," he said and the redhead gave him a small smile back.

* * *

The guards were an absolute mess. They had sent out an S.O.S to every available Technician in their dome and some responded, bringing with them a very chaotic sense of authority. No one would follow anyone else and there wasn't one united voice to make everything clear for them. What did need to happen, that everyone agreed on, was the mess needed to be cleaned up. Several low level dregs were assigned to scooping all of Xemnas' pieces back into a pile and removing his body from the room and transporting it down to a medical center in town. Not that anything could be done for the man by that point, but a report needed to be filed.

Meal time wasn't happening that day. There was too much blood to distract any Carriers from getting to the cafeteria and if they got a hint as to what had happened there could be problems. There could be an uprising that much was certain. They needed to wait until they could get a Committee member on site, so they contacted the next best thing.

They called Saïx.

* * *

Roxas' stomach growled. He didn't want to eat, but he couldn't help but be hungry. He looked at his watch. Meal time had come and gone. Axel was busy unlacing his cumbersome boots and pulling them off. Once his feet were free he sighed and smiled a bit and wiggled his toes. Roxas smiled with the simple action and watched the redhead shove himself out of the suit as well. The Carrier was still fully clothed underneath the clingy fabric and he shook the loose cloth of his clothing back into place once he was free again.

"Wasn't it hot in that thing?" the blonde asked. Axel shrugged.

"Probably. I didn't notice it very much. Cloud was sweating though so it most likely was," he said and replaced himself on the worthless bed. "God, this thing is awful," he remarked and pushed a hand into the pad, pushing down into the springs.

"I know," Roxas said blandly. The air was a little more relaxed now that Roxas' sniffles and hysterics had calmed. He still felt jittery and shaken, but his exhaustion was the predominant feeling and he let his mind blank as much as it could. He still doubted he would be able to sleep though, he was afraid of it. Trying to come up with a topic of conversation was difficult and there was a strange silence before he thought of something. "How's the glob?" he asked abruptly. Axel raised a brow.

"The glob? Oh, the bean? She's fine," the redhead said and smiled.

"'Bean' sounds better, doesn't it?"

"I like to think so. She looks like a bean anyway. I tried to toss a few others in the tank with her to see if I could get any more to take, but none of them did. She's a trooper."

"You can have more than one at a time?" Roxas asked curiously.

"That's what Leon and Cloud did, yeah. Theoretically you can have five infants going at once in a single tube. Obviously, as they grow they're not all going to fit and you need more tubes but for the first year or so, one tube is enough. It's difficult to do though so it doesn't happen very often. Leon and Cloud only had three for the longest time and their ages were very close together so it was a little easier to maneuver."

"I can see where it would be a problem if you had a six month old fetus and a three week old blastocyst in there at the same time. How would you get the fetus out without killing the other, you know?"

"Right. There's a very small window of opportunity there and really they shouldn't be more than six or seven months apart from one another because if you drain the liquid in the tank to get the bigger one, the littlest one gets sucked down into the plumbing. That isn't the most ideal situation."

"Babies in the water supply," Roxas said and chuckled a bit, rubbing his face with a shaking hand. Axel laughed and waved a hand.

"They'd fish them out eventually, I'm sure."

"That'd be a terrible job. What would the title be? 'Baby Fisher?'"

"Well I think 'Baby Snatcher' is a tad illegal in most domes so it would have to be," Axel said. Roxas laughed a bit, a dry and airy sound. To Axel, it was obvious that Roxas was still having an issue, but he was happy the blonde was trying to keep himself under control. He didn't like seeing Roxas cry. They shared another silence of which Roxas spent the minutes staring blankly at the floor and blinking tiredly. "Did you want to take a nap?" Axel asked.

"I don't think I can," the blonde admitted. The redhead pursed his lips in thought for a moment before scooting closer and pulling his Charge to him again. He leaned up against the wall again and Roxas settled against him in between his legs. Axel stroked the blonde's hair with soft rhythmic motions, coaxing the sleep out bit by bit.

* * *

"Have you guys seen Cloud or Axel?" Zexion asked when he entered Riku and Sora's lab. The pair inside looked to him and raised simultaneous brows, which the Charge found amusing but didn't let on that he had.

"Not since this morning," Riku said and Sora nodded in agreement.

"I can't find them anywhere. I was only gone for a couple hours and I went back to ask Cloud something and he was gone," Zexion huffed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'll help you look for them, if it'll do any good," the brunette offered and Zexion nodded a bit before leaving again. Riku shrugged and went back to his work while Sora made his way out of the lab.

* * *

Cloud wrung out Leon's t-shirt in the awful excuse of a sink. He had left the Carrier on the 'bed' and stole his shirt to rinse it some and possibly use it to wipe some of the grime off of the Carrier's body. He tried not to think about what might happen to his lover after everything was said and done. He doubted he would be able to live without the smug bastard and would probably follow after the lead of so many other Charges before him and kill himself. Then again, he doubted that he could even do that much. He was upset, and not thinking like he normally would so he couldn't say for sure what he would do.

Leon's shirt was a disaster but Cloud didn't have very many options and used whatever clean side he could get to begin scrubbing the remnants off of the Carrier's limbs. The blonde's watch wasn't beeping and Leon was breathing normally so he assumed he was unconscious in the same way he was before after they tested the drugs together. If that was the case, Leon was actually awake in there but couldn't physically move himself. Cloud didn't have much to say to him though and paid attention to cleaning the Carrier up.

After a while of wiping, Cloud was growing impatient with the slow progress. Once again he was reduced to pulling the bed across the floor and over to the sink. He rinsed the shirt again and filled it with as much water as he could before plopping the sopping cloth over Leon and working harder at it. The water was freezing cold and the Carrier's skin broke out in goosebumps but that was of little concern to the blonde. After the thick film of gore came off, Cloud noticed hundreds of tiny cuts and scrapes all over Leon's limbs and feet. He sighed, remembering the broken window and went about the tedious task of checking each one to see if it was deep enough to house a wandering piece of glass. There were only a few that concerned him and they were in the bottoms of Leon's feet.

While he was picking at them, he remembered having to push the Carrier's member back into his shorts. He furrowed his brows. Why was Leon hanging out everywhere to begin with? There was only one way to find out and he quickly disrobed his lover and grimaced. There was blood and other things caked on Leon's pelvis as well. Not nearly as much as the rest of him, but it was there. The blonde growled under his breath and soaked the t-shirt again before plopping it heartlessly onto the Carrier's waist and setting out to scrub away everything else he found as well with the icy fabric. As he worked, his mind raced. He could remember Roxas crying and huddling in the corner and Cloud couldn't grasp the concept of being so upset with seeing a dead body so his mind drifted to other things. His heart sunk and he hoped that when Leon woke up, he had a very good excuse for everything.

Otherwise, he didn't know if he could forgive his Carrier for having sex with Roxas.

* * *

Roxas refused to fall asleep. As comforting as Axel was being, he just couldn't allow himself to do it. After a while of sitting together, the redhead was starting to drift a little instead. He had a thought pass through his mind and he startled and sucked in a breath. The blonde looked up at him.

"What is it?" Roxas asked. Axel stared ahead of himself with wide eyes for a minute.

"We forgot Zexion," he said flatly. There was another silence before Axel snorted and started to laugh. "Oops."

"Well don't tell Demyx that, he'd be pissed," the blonde said and laughed a bit with him. Axel nodded.

"I wonder if they're going to feed you ever," he said, furrowing his brows. Roxas shrugged.

"I'm hungry but I don't want to eat right now."

"Ah. Okay. I won't worry about it then. You lost weight though."

"I expected as much, honestly. I didn't eat very much. The food is terrible."

"Yes. Yes it is."

"Is it really that noticeable?" Roxas asked and sat up, lifting his shirt and looking at his torso. He couldn't tell. Axel shrugged.

"I noticed. I can't say anyone else did though," he said and slid and arm around his Charge's exposed waist and pulled him back. Roxas reciprocated and lifted the redhead's t-shirt a bit to wrap his arms around the warm skin underneath. He let out a sigh and rested his cheek against Axel's chest again. The Carrier kissed his hair before resting his chin on it.

* * *

Several hours passed. Axel and Roxas lay together for most of that time and held brief conversations together but the majority of the time was filled with comfortable silence. Neither of them had much to say that wasn't already obvious nor having to do with the current predicament. Axel didn't care for the bed much but lay on it anyway and let the blonde use his body as a pillow instead. Roxas was grateful for the action and took advantage of it. He was tired of the floor. In order to keep himself awake, since he could fall asleep just about anywhere, Axel kept his hands busy by touching his Charge in some way; rubbing his back, petting his hair, rubbing his arms, or holding his hands and fiddling with his fingers. Roxas didn't mind the attention in the least.

"You're lucky I had a shower today otherwise this could've been seriously uncomfortable," Roxas said and looked at his watch. It was late. Axel had taken a moment to send Zexion a message from Xemnas' tablet earlier but neither the Charge nor Ansem had responded yet.

"Oh yeah? How long had it been since the last one?" Axel asked with the amusement in his voice obvious.

"I hadn't had one since I left the facility," the blonde said.

"Ew, really? That's new. When I was here I got one every other day."

"Lucky," Roxas huffed. Axel chuckled and stretched his arms over his head, pulling stiff muscles into place with the satisfying strain. His back was starting to hurt from the insignificant mattress but he wasn't prepared to lie on the floor just yet. He didn't want to disturb Roxas yet, either. The blonde disturbed himself though and pushed himself up, sitting on the redhead's stomach and imitating his stretch. The Charge yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"You should really try and sleep," Axel urged. Roxas shook his head.

"Not yet," he said defiantly. The Carrier sighed.

"I really wish you would."

"Why?"

"Because you'll feel better and I have to pee," the redhead whined and stuck his bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout.

"…Oh," Roxas deadpanned and laughed a bit. "Well that's a little awkward."

"Yeah, I know. Go the fuck to sleep already," Axel ordered. The blonde shook his head again.

"I've been trying for hours. I can't."

"You haven't been trying for shit, don't give me that."

"Yeah well…I'm a little afraid to."

"I could tell. I don't blame you but you should try anyway. Even if I didn't have to pee, I would tell you that. You look like you need it."

"I do need it; I'm not going to lie. But you're the most comfortable thing in here and I can't sleep on this bed. I've been on the floor since I've come here. How do you expect to pee if I'm sleeping on you?" Roxas said. Axel looked at him blankly for a minute, letting his words sink in. He sighed and fidgeted a bit.

"Well _I_ refuse to have a problem peeing in front of you. But do _you_ have a problem with it? The ball's in your court, creampuff," the redhead asked, raising a sly brow at his Charge. Roxas looked thoughtful for a moment. He shook his head.

"Not really," he said.

"But if I do, you have to try and sleep."

"…Are we negotiating trading your bodily functions for me taking a nap?"

"Yes."

"We're really bored."

"Yes. Yes we are."

"I… I have no words," the blonde sighed and chuckled, holding a palm to his face. He stepped off of the bed and pulled himself off of the redhead and nudged his leg with a foot. "Go pee," he ordered and Axel all too happily rolled himself off the bed. Roxas sat again and plugged his ears and closed his eyes, humming a little tune and pretending he was somewhere else for a minute. He startled when a wet pair of hands touched his face. "Gah!" he cried and shoved Axel away and wiped at his cheeks. "That better be water!"

"Of course it is, duh. I wash my hands after, don't you?" Axel chuckled and flicked his fingers, sending little droplets through the air and onto his Charge's face. Roxas huffed and wiped at them.

"Yes, but I don't dry them on people," he grumped.

"Well what else do you expect me to use?"

"Your shirt or something? Let them air dry?"

"But my shirt and the air don't react as well as you do," the redhead said.

* * *

Zexion tapped his stylus nervously against his tablet and stared at the report Axel had sent him. He desperately wanted to go to the dome himself and whisk Demyx away but that could bring on more punishment than they had bargained for. He had tried to contact Ansem but the man wasn't answering him, as usual. He sighed. His room was so empty without the sandy blonde there to take up space and love on him relentlessly. His mind was swimming with possibilities and he was starting to grow impatient. At least he knew why Demyx had such a wide list of problems before, but the fact that he had raped someone was unsettling. Zexion didn't blame his Carrier though. It wasn't his fault. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. He connected his watch to his Catalogue terminal and opened a line of contact with Yuffie.

"Oh! Hey Zexion!" she said cheerfully after taking a few moments to answer him. He waved a bit and her face grew concerned. "What's wrong?" she asked sadly.

"It's a long story; do you still have a car?"

* * *

Ansem was furious. It had taken him all of three minutes to feel that way once he read the report he had received. It had taken him fifteen minutes to force his driver behind the wheel of his car and leave the dome he was in. The entire seven hours of driving did nothing to sate his anger and he stomped from the vehicle once inside Dome 815 and made his way into the quarantine facility. A series of guards snapped to attention for him and he brushed past them and headed into the back of the building where Xemnas' office was.

"Sir!" a guard called after him but the Technician ignored him. He angrily slid into the deceased man's chair and connected his tablet to the Catalogue terminal therein. The guard stood in the doorway. "Is there something you need, sir?" he asked, his voice wavering a bit by his intimidation.

"Get me your head of security and anyone else official you can think of. Bring them here, we need to have a discussion," Ansem barked and the man at the door tensed a bit but nodded and left.

Ansem got to work. He knew every one of Xemnas' test subjects already but he needed to figure out how many more were planned on being used. He didn't have the time to mourn his friend, or even think about his death because there were over a hundred other lives that needed addressing first. The Technician had always encouraged his Carriers to care about their own well being and the safety of their own kind simply because it kept the projects on track. Worrying about everyone at once was Ansem's job and Xemnas had made it insurmountably more difficult with his plans. Ansem was disgusted. He wasn't alone for very long though because the guard had listened to him and came back with several other guards of higher rank.

"Sir?" the head of security asked. Ansem whirled on the man and stood.

"Do none of you people have any sense of ethics? How could you not report everything Xemnas was doing here? You let your men stand around and _ignore_ humans being raped and nearly killed on a regular basis here? Even if you didn't have a soul and could look past that, the fact that Xemnas was using _multi-million Credit machines_ to test his products on is enough of a reason for me to have you all fired and strung up by your toes! Every single one of these Carriers could have gone out of control and killed twice the number of people they came in contact with! Do you not have any brains? Any intelligence? Are you all mindless?" the Technician berated. The men stood with their heads hung, looking at the floor and staying silent. "As soon as I figure out who deserves to be here and who doesn't, you're all to release the ones that don't. Everyone who has been tested on, be it Charge or Carrier, is to be released immediately and everyone that has an unreasonable punishment for meaningless misdemeanors is to go with them. Get out of my sight until I need you again and don't pussy-foot around and make me angrier, is that clear?"

"Sir!" the men said in tandem.

"What makes you so certain any of these disgusting creatures has the right to be released?" Saix interjected before the men could leave again. He strode into the room with a confident gait and went to Ansem's side, boring holes into the man's face with narrow golden eyes.

"What makes _you_ think they shouldn't be? If they're here because they committed a legitimate offense, then they will stay. But if they haven't, they shouldn't stay. Outside of the ethical standpoint, it costs a lot of money to keep this place running at full capacity," Ansem said.

"Need I remind you that one of these things _killed_ our colleague? Ripped him to shreds? What makes you think they're stable enough after the tests to be released? You talk of ethics like you know them. Releasing harmful Carriers back into society doesn't seem very ethical to me," Saïx spat.

"No one else has attacked anyone else, correct? They all went back to normal after the drugs wore off? Unless someone hasn't reported something, this is the proof I have," Ansem looked to the guards standing around in the room. "Well? Has anyone else died?" he asked. The men exchanged looks with one another.

"Not to our knowledge, Sir," the head of security said. Ansem looked back to Saix.

"Well? Any other objections?"

"Aside from the show of weakness?"

"Weakness?"

"Weakness. We bring all of these beasts in here, slap them on the wrist and then let them go after we make a mistake? What kind of message is that sending to them? Our control over them will slip if we let them go right away."

"And what do you propose we do? Xemnas' funds were raised by himself. His marketing plans for these drugs are what were going to keep this place in operation at maximum capacity like he wanted to. Are _you_ going to fork over the millions we need to keep it operation because of some show of pride on your part? Quarantine is a necessary show of punishment, I will admit, but if we have a chance to save a little money in the face of fairness, I'm not opposed. Frankly, Saïx, you should stick to the ecosystems and let me handle internal affairs."

"Well you've certainly handled everything _swimmingly_ so far, Ansem. How many things did you have to overlook in order to not notice Xemnas' little party over here? Did you just happen to ignore it all so you could frolic in the primroses with your little animal friends?" Saïx asked snidely.

"I could ask the same of you. Did you know what was happening here?"

"No, I wasn't informed."

"So all your brownnosing to Xemnas has gotten you nowhere then. I don't have time for a power struggle with you. I have work to do. If you have a better way of handling things with the budget restraints, the ethics, and the common sense, feel free to stay and get involved but I can't afford anymore hesitation," Ansem said and looked to the other men, "expect my list within the hour for the releases. Arrange for transport in the mean time, I expect a lot of people need to be delivered back to their respective domes. You're all dismissed."

"Sir!" the men barked and left.

"People?" Saïx scoffed. "You're disgusting. I can't believe you consider these machines and their fuck-toys _people_."

"And why shouldn't I?" Ansem asked angrily and sat in his chair again and started typing away at the Catalogue terminal.

"Because they're not. They look like people, but genetically they're hardly close. If they're people, then the one who slaughtered Xemnas needs to be taken to court and tried for murder. He'll surely get the death penalty."

"He was under the influence of something Xemnas had given him with excessive forced used to administer it. He can't be blamed for things he couldn't control. Besides, that particular Carrier has additional problems inside of him that need to be addressed and I'm sure the drugs were no help in keeping him from doing things he shouldn't be doing."

"Additional things? Euthanize him then if he has so many problems," Saïx said simply, as if it solved every issue.

"That's not a cost effective way of going about things."

"Cost effective? A two hundred Credit tranquilizer versus thousands in corrective surgery? Is this one an original and the only one of his kind or something?"

"No, not any more. He is extremely successful though and has proved incredibly useful over the years and I believe that's enough to put the work in to save him."

"Oh good fucking lord, Ansem," Saïx sighed and rubbed his brows angrily. Ansem ignored his displeasure and kept working diligently.

"At this point, Saïx, I don't see your purpose here. You may leave if you don't agree with my methods. Leon deserves as much of a chance at life as the rest of us productive members of society do. You're just going to have to live with my decision."

"They have _names_ to you now? They're members of _society_ now? I can't believe this nonsense! I drove nine hours to get here on a distress call and you throw this bullshit in my face and tell me to leave so you can cuddle with your creations? I'm not letting this die, Ansem. I'm calling a meeting with the Committee, you're losing your focus," Saïx spat and stomped out of the room. Ansem sighed a bit as he felt the pressure of everything the other man implied. He sat back in his seat and rubbed his brows a bit, considering his options.

He might have to do Leon's surgery sooner than he thought he would. Before the Committee could stop him.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

Zexion slammed the door shut and hesitated before running to the building before him. Yuffie had emerged from the driver's seat. They were both stunned as the view of dozens of large transport vehicles littered the front yard in front of the quarantine facility. There were Technicians and various guards milling about between them, but neither Yuffie nor Zexion could understand what was happening. The steely-haired Charge jogged across the open space and approached one of the Technicians.

"Excuse me," he asked politely and tapped the woman on the shoulder. She turned to him.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Um well… my Carrier is in there, should I be worried that something's happening?" he asked. The woman held up a finger in a 'one moment please' fashion and took up her tablet before scrolling through the list of model numbers she was given.

"Model number?" she asked.

"7x295," he replied quickly. She took a moment to flick through the list and she nodded.

"He's being released. If you want to take him home with you, that's fine but you have to wait out here," she said simply. Zexion blinked, startled. Yuffie raised a brow. She didn't believe she heard the woman correctly.

"Released? Why? Was there a problem?" the Charge questioned further.

"That information is classified for now. If you want to argue with me, I can think of a reason for him to stay," she warned.

"No no, I'm okay. I was just curious," he amended. "Can you check a few other numbers for me?"

"Sure," she said, stylus at the ready.

"4x31's Charge and 9x8b," Zexion said and the woman looked them up. She hesitated a bit.

"4x31's Charge is being released. I cannot disclose any information on 9x8b as of yet," she sad. Zexion furrowed his brows but didn't pry. He walked the few feet back to Yuffie and quickly explained what he knew to her. Axel hadn't mentioned being released, and only told Zexion of the tests and where he was. Yuffie was just as confused but couldn't say much.

* * *

A certain lack of communication between the masses was an essential part of any organization in order to keep things in line when they needed to be. Keeping information from one co-worker while giving it to another that had more of an influence towards a certain instance was just the way things were done. It was common for the Committee members to keep things from the general Technician public. No one needed to know every tiny insignificant detail of everything that went on amongst their ranks. Hell, even some of the Committee members didn't know what was going on one hundred percent of the time.

But the thing that _didn't_ happen, was keeping information of something so massive out of the original three. Ansem, Saïx, and Xemnas had made an almost unspoken pact thousands of years ago to keep each other informed of such big developments. Once Ansem had done his work, and sent out the list of Carriers and Charges that needed to be released, he had time to reflect on this idea and consider what was possibly going through Xemnas' head during all of this.

It was common knowledge that the sex drug industry, though hush-hush and consisting mainly of underground activity, held incredible potential as far as kick starting the Carrier Projects in both a scientific sense and a financial sense. Ansem had reviewed everything that Xemnas had on the matter, including what Zexion had originally reported, Xemnas' own tests, and what drugs were made of what and what they were meant to do. It was all meticulously detailed and all the bases were covered from a marketing standpoint. It would've become public eventually, that much was certain, so was Xemnas really hiding things or simply making sure he was prepared before he said anything? Ansem would never know.

Over two thousand years of camaraderie told him to analyze his deceased friends' intentions further. He was honestly upset about Xemnas' death but at the same time he could understand what happened. The two millennia he had spent around Carriers had cemented the bond for him and he was serving a mind for each obligation. Two thousand years with Xemnas, and two thousand years with Carriers. Which did he sympathize more? Was Xemnas attempting to do something legitimate, like it seemed, even if the methods were brash and hard edged? The money needed to come from somewhere, didn't it? How else was the deceased man supposed to understand the effects of the drugs without testing them?

It was the practical versus the emotional for Ansem. He held no ill will towards anyone personally which is what was making things so difficult. He had no one to blame. No one to point to and say 'yes this happened because you did this, this, and this.' It would be so much easier to understand and internalize if he had such a person. He liked to think he understood his partners, Saïx and Xemnas, but he was second guessing himself. He didn't know what to think anymore. What he did know he had to do though, was take care of Leon before the Committee could do anything to hinder him further.

* * *

Demyx sighed sadly and stared at the wall of his room, willing the tiny dots and divots to turn into either Zexion's face or something he could eat. He was starved. He didn't know what was going on or why they decided to skip meal time today, but it was late, and he knew he wouldn't eat again until tomorrow. Maybe. He was thinking about what Leon had said to him in the shower. How childish he acted all the time. Perhaps it was time for a change.

Then again, Zexion didn't dislike him so that had to mean something. He understood that he needed to think things through a little more whenever he set out to do something, but Leon was the only one who ever complained about his personality outside of his awful ways of helping people. It was probably just Leon being Leon, after all. The guy did what he wanted whenever he wanted but he did it in such an efficient and logical way that no one could ever find any fault. Demyx sighed again. That wasn't fair.

Demyx's sister Morgan's Charge Lilly has a very spunky and upbeat personality. Demyx was most like her in those respects. Leon had come from a completely different gene pool from an outside source so Demyx couldn't even get where the guy was coming from most of the time. Cloud was about as equally as confusing and together they made a befuddled mess out of the sandy blonde's comprehension abilities. Demyx was by no means unintelligent, he could sit down and do Genetic Chemistry and complex algorithms just as easily as anyone else, but he had an awful time figuring people out that didn't share his mental wavelength. Roxas was almost as bad as Leon and Cloud in his mind on most days. _That_ particular blonde irked him in several ways though he would never say anything, for Axel's sake.

He was startled out of his thoughts when his door swung open suddenly and one of the nameless dregs beckoned him over to the doorway. Demyx hesitated. He didn't trust the sudden intrusion. He eyed the man suspiciously and the dreg sighed with exasperation before going inside and approaching him.

"You want to leave or not?" the man asked impatiently and dug out a set of keys. Demyx backed away from him.

"Leave? You must think I'm stupid if I you think I'd believe that," the sandy blonde spat. The man groaned his frustration and stepped forward again. Demyx backed himself up into a corner, though he didn't want to. The man held out a small key and held the Carrier loosely in order to insert the little metal piece into the lock on his collar and take it off. Demyx blinked confusedly and rubbed his neck where the annoying strap had been. "Seriously?" he questioned.

"I still think you're stupid, but yes, Technician's orders," the man said grumpily. He made to leave the room and Demyx spied several other Carriers trickling past the open door, confirming the man's words. The sandy blonde followed after them and saw Marluxia several feet ahead.

"Marluxia!" he called and the Carrier stopped to turn. Demyx jogged to keep up.

"What do _you_ want?" the avian spat. The sandy blonde flinched a little, remembering all the awful things he had said before. He sighed.

"I was originally going to ask you if you knew what was happening but I remembered I should apologize first. I'm sorry," Demyx said. Marluxia looked him over suspiciously.

"No, I don't know what's going on and I forgive you," he said after a few moments of hesitation. The Carriers and Charges were being let out a few at time, and they shouldered past the pair of roadblocks standing in the hall, reminding them both that they should be leaving. Demyx's heart did a flip when he realized he was going back to _Zexion_. Joy of joys! They moved with the traffic, weaving through the halls and eventually exited the building together only to be assaulted with the view of dozens of transport vehicles.

"What the—" Demyx started. Marluxia shared his confusion.

"Demyx!" Zexion called and left Yuffie standing at the car to run across the open area.

"Zexion?" the sandy blonde said aloud at no one in particular and turned towards the voice. "Zex!" he cried and took off towards his Charge. Marluxia quirked a brow and looked around for his Celia but couldn't see her anywhere. Zexion skidded to a stop when he realized Demyx was running at him full speed and he startled.

"No no, Dem wai—" he tried to sputter seconds before the Carrier tackled into him, knocking the wind from his lungs and sending them both flying backwards onto the grass. He emitted a loud grunt when he hit the ground and Demyx immediately sat up on him, hauling his aching body up and squashing his face into his t-shirt.

"Zexion!" Demyx cried again as tears welled up into his eyes. "I missed you so much!" he squealed as the salty droplets streamed down his cheeks. Marluxia furrowed his brows a bit and decided he wanted to investigate. Why did Demyx get his Charge but he didn't? That wasn't nice. He tromped across the grass and went to the pair. After the initial impact, Zexion was able to recuperate and hug his Carrier back, despite his face being crushed. The world was good again. Marluxia cleared his throat a bit, pulling the pair's attention to him.

"Can I ask why you're here? Are the other Charges coming as well?" he asked politely, hoping his voice didn't sound too anxious. Zexion blinked a few times, but the rest of his face was still pressed against Demyx. The sandy blonde released him and they stood. Zexion brushed pieces of grass off of his shirt and he shook his head.

"Um, no. Sorry, I came by myself even before I knew everyone was being released," he said. Demyx twittered and hugged him abruptly again.

"My knight in shining armor came to save me!" he squeaked and rubbed his face against his Charge's affectionately. Zexion nudged him away a bit, muttering under his breath about manners and being in public. Marluxia's hopefulness drooped. He was a long way away from his dome and probably wouldn't be able to see Celia again before the morning if he was truly going home. The avian Carrier looked back at the transports and sighed. He didn't like little spaces. His cell of a room was enough of a cage already, now he had to anxiously wait in an even smaller space.

* * *

Axel was dozing. Roxas had fallen asleep on him like he was supposed to and had stayed that way for a couple hours, much to the redhead's surprise. Roxas must have been extremely tired to be able to sleep so well after such an ordeal. After a day of rest and being able to absorb everything though, he wasn't sure how the blonde would feel. It was going to be rough road ahead of them that's for sure. He sincerely hoped that Roxas wasn't terrified of Leon though.

Axel still didn't fully understand what happened with his russet friend. He got that Leon was on drugs and did terrible things. But why did he stop? Why did Cloud say he was 'sleeping' rather than being 'dead'? The taller blonde had said it with so much certainty Axel couldn't help but feel that it had happened before. He had so many questions he needed to have answered for his own peace of mind before he himself could sleep properly. He had spent the time while Roxas napped to doze but he doubted he would find anything more satisfying than that.

Xemnas' tablet was an intriguing thing though. Axel knew it held far more information than what they initially found but he didn't care to look through it just yet. He was busy feeling Roxas' heartbeat against his. He had folded his anti-radiation suit up neatly with the device tucked inside though, and was planning on leaving with it whenever they had the opportunity to. If they had a bigger, more comfortable bed to lay in he would've gladly given up all of his clothing and tossed it on the pile to cuddle with the blonde. Which brought up another point. Would Roxas even feel comfortable enough to be intimate with him again anytime soon? Axel's heart sunk a bit with the uncertainty.

He didn't have time to think about it though because the door was pushed open and Ansem of all people stepped inside the room calmly. Axel gaped at the man. He had no idea the Technician had even received his report let alone came to the quarantine facility. Ansem approached them quietly and gave Axel a small forced smile. The redhead rubbed Roxas' back, shaking him gently and urging him to wake up. After a few minutes, the blonde blearily opened his eyes and shifted around a bit before trying to fall back asleep. So very tired. Axel was relentless though and nudged him some more.

"Roxas," Ansem said abruptly, startling the blonde. Roxas gasped and shot up from his position with wide eyes and gaped at the man. The Technician let him calm down and adjust for a moment before continuing. "I'm sorry to disturb you but I need you. Will you accompany me?" he asked gently. The Charge blinked a few times.

"Um…" he said, his voice cracking a bit. He looked to Axel then back to Ansem.

"Axel can come too," the Technician assured. Roxas nodded deftly and rubbed his eyes a bit. "Did you want a minute?" Ansem asked and the blonde nodded again. "Alright, I'll leave the door open with guard to lead you both back into the office. Take your time," he said calmly and took his leave. Roxas blinked groggily and looked to Axel.

"I'm just about as surprised as you are," the redhead said.

* * *

Zexion had explained what he knew to Marluxia and Demyx. The avian Carrier had wanted to wait around with them to see Roxas off but apparently it was closing time. He shuffled his feet, biding his time and stalling as much as he could so he didn't have to sit in the tiny box that was the transport vehicle heading his way. The mood between Demyx and Zexion had calmed some and the sandy blonde was beginning to dread starting the new strain of uncomfortable conversation that would bring up what he had done to Mary, especially in front of Marluxia. He decided to wait until after the other Carrier left.

"I think it's time for me to go, I suppose," Marluxia said as the vehicles started to leave, descending down the hill and heading towards the gate.

"What's your model number again? I remember seeing it on your collar but I forgot," Demyx said.

"s9dv2," Marluxia said.

"Okay, well I'll tell Roxas and have him call you, yeah? Maybe you guys can be pen-pals!" the sandy blonde twittered, though the back of his mind was telling him to stall as much as he could in order to steer clear of the inevitable. Marluxia nodded and made to leave. "Wait! One question?" Demyx called.

"Hm?"

"Why pink?" he asked with a grin, pulling at a piece of his own sandy hair.

"It's Celia's favorite color," Marluxia said simply. "See you around. Nice meeting you both," he said politely and strode off towards his van.

"What a nice guy," Yuffie said idly. "Are you guys going to be a minute? I want to run into town for a second and grab some coffee. We've got a long drive back and it's already almost eleven. If Axel and Roxas come out, just have them wait with you," she said. Demyx and Zexion nodded and went to take a seat in the grass against the building while the woman got back behind the wheel. She left quickly, descending the hill right behind Marluxia's van and the pair was left alone.

Zexion picked at the grass. He had so many things to say to Demyx but he didn't know how to form the words. There was one last van sitting by the door unoccupied, probably waiting Axel and Roxas. He watched it for a while, wondering when his friends were coming out. Perhaps the Technician woman had been lying to him. He didn't doubt it. It wouldn't be the first time. Demyx picked at the grass with him nervously. He was equally as confused and didn't know what to say. He took a few deep breaths.

"Zex," he said quietly and his Charge looked to him. His heart twisted uncomfortably and his chest hurt. He could feel the heat of tears well up in his eyes the longer they held eye contact. He knew he didn't have control of himself when he was with Mary but he couldn't get past the idea that he had had sex with someone else. The thought of Zexion pushing him away because of his betrayal crushed him and he was afraid to say something, but wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt if he didn't. Would Zexion even believe him? "I…" he trailed. "I did something terrible," he blurted finally.

"I know," Zexion said. Demyx blinked rapidly a few times in shock, his tears sliding down his face freely.

"Y-You do? You know what I did? To Mary?" he asked quickly, needing to confirm that they were on the same page. Zexion nodded.

"I didn't know it was a woman but yes, I know."

"Wh—Ho—"

"Axel sent me a report from Xemnas' tablet somehow with all the information. I know that Xemnas was testing things on the Carriers and you happened to be one of them. I know enough. I don't need specifics, but I know what happened," he said calmly. Demyx let out a sigh.

"You're not angry?" the sandy blonde asked.

"Not at you, no. I'm upset, but more because you and this Mary girl both had to go through so much against your wills. I'm angry at Xemnas but I also want you to keep yourself in check so you never have to come back here again and possibly go through it again. It isn't your fault that it happened to you, but it is your fault that you came here in the first place," Zexion chided. Demyx nodded a little and looked at the grass. He swallowed thickly.

"Um… I told Mary to call if she…If I got her pregnant," he said shakily. Zexion blinked. He hadn't had enough time to register Mary as girl to understand the mechanics involved. He furrowed his brows. That would be a problem.

"…I hadn't considered that," he said flatly. Never before had he wished Demyx hadn't gotten the corrective surgery on his testicles. Not that he would say anything.

"What would we do if she was?" the Carrier said.

"Well…I doubt she'd keep it. We don't know if her Carrier would let her or if they were successful enough to have a human family yet. Do you even know anything about her? Is she even anywhere close to us?"

"I only know that she's been a Charge for over two hundred years. I don't know anything else about her. I guess I should've asked, shouldn't I have?"

"Possibly, but it's not like we can do anything about it now," Zexion huffed. Demyx lowered his eyes, he knew that tone. His Charge was annoyed with him. Demyx had been so focused on making sure the girl had felt okay and that he hadn't hurt her too bad. He hadn't even considered the long term repercussions of his actions. Now, the only thing they could do was wait and see if she called.

"What if she tries to keep it? Do you think she'd try to push it on us?" he asked. Zexion shrugged.

"You know her more than I do. We wouldn't be allowed to keep it anyway. We don't have a home of our own and we're nowhere near successful enough to have one, let alone a child," the Charge sighed. A pang was sent through Demyx's chest. He didn't like to be reminded of how behind they were on everything. It was true enough though. Zexion ran his fingers through his hair and pushed the large swatch of the follicles out of his eye and stuffed it behind his ear. He put his elbows on his knees and his chin in his palms, thinking. He sighed again after a moment. "We can't worry about this. She'll call if there's a problem, right? Until then, we can't do anything. It's on the back burner."

"Right," Demyx agreed and looked his Charge over. Zexion was stressed and he knew it was all his fault. Everything was. The drugs, the quarantines, the heartache, the turmoil, everything was his doing all because he couldn't stop himself from being obnoxious. The tears had dried on his face and rubbed at his skin, picking the salty flakes off of himself.

"I still love you though," Zexion said quietly, looking ahead of himself. Demyx froze.

"You do?" he asked.

"Of course I do."

"Ich liebe dich, auch," Demyx said quietly, testing the waters. Zexion smiled and looked to him.

"Ich weiß es."

* * *

"I need to know everything that happened from start to finish," Ansem said calmly and folded his hands on Xemnas' desk. Axel and Roxas were sitting across from him in two separate chairs. The redhead's suit and boots (with Xemnas' tablet) sat on the floor next to him. "Once I know what happened, I can deal with Leon accordingly and we can release you."

"Wait, I'm going home?" the blonde asked in astonishment. Ansem nodded.

"You and over a hundred others. Xemnas had procured the Carriers for his tests through obviously unfair means and so, with his passing, I have the authority to take over and do as I see fit. The unfair treatment of most everyone here has warranted early releases in my opinion, but I need the whole story before I release you. Everyone else who was supposed to leave has vacated already. Only the legitimate cases are staying."

"Demyx is leaving too?" Axel asked, his eyes hopeful.

"Yes he is. He should be gone already."

"That's great," the redhead sighed with a smile.

"What about Leon? And Cloud?" Roxas asked.

"I can't say yet. I need your statement. There are outside circumstances influencing my decisions pertaining to Leon that go beyond what Xemnas has done but the current situation is what I need to fill in the blanks," Ansem said calmly and took up his tablet and stylus. He was prepared to jot everything down that Roxas would give him. "You may begin whenever you're ready."

* * *

Leon was in agony. His entire body hurt from the physical trauma he had put himself through and the mental pain of knowing what he had done. He was disgusted with himself. He had lost control. He never lost control. It just wasn't an option for him. Even when he and Cloud had tested the drugs together he had enough restraint in himself to keep from panting and begging things from his Charge openly and without abandon like a pathetic bitch. Even though he was the dominant one when he was with Xemnas and had reduced the man to nothing, it didn't soothe his ego. It had been obliterated long before that point.

Outside of the fact that he allowed himself to turn that way, he had mixed feelings about what he did. He was more concerned about what Cloud thought. During their entire stay in the cell that was his quarantine, the blonde never said a word. Not a grunt, a scoff of disgust, nothing. He knew his lover was upset though. His scrubbing had become more forced and angry once he had been disrobed. He knew that Cloud knew something was up in addition to Xemnas' death.

Xemnas had a history with Leon and Cloud. They both despised the man to no end and both of them were happy that he was gone. Overjoyed, even. It was the means that was the problem. Leon had never killed anyone with his bare hands before. He had killed a few Thompson's Gazelles while in his Primal form a few times but not with such brutality. Even through his pain and inability to force himself to move, he could still feel the sickening sensations of Xemnas' carnage against his fingers. It bothered him. A lot. He doubted he'd be able to eat his meals with his hands anymore and would have to force himself to learn his ways around a fork again. The feelings of raw meat didn't hold the same appeal anymore.

At the very least, he told himself, he didn't get a hold of Roxas. Once he had let himself slip under the control of the chemicals, he didn't know what happened to the little blonde. Everything became Xemnas. Roxas wasn't a factor anymore. He wouldn't be able to live with himself had he killed or raped another Carrier's Charge, especially one that reminded him so much of Cloud in his younger years. At least Xemnas deserved the brutality, even if he was defenseless.

Every few minutes he would attempt to move himself. He lay still for a very long time until he got any sort of reaction and even then, he didn't want to do it anymore. Everything hurt, but his neck especially. That's where Xemnas' needle had stuck him. It had taken seven men to pin the russet Carrier to the ground and wrench his face to the side enough to get the syringe in. He regretted putting up so much resistance now, his neck was killing him. He managed to pull his eyes open after a while and his vision was blurry. He blinked a few times, forcing the ceiling into focus. He flexed his jaw a bit, preparing himself for the torture before testing his back and finding he could move. He let out a loud groan as he pulled himself upwards.

Cloud was there in an instant and Leon had barely a second to register him before the blonde punched him in the jaw. The Carrier let out an unrestrained yell as every fiber of his being screamed and he flopped to the side, hanging off the bed at a strange angle. Cloud was quick to gather him up into a strong hug afterward, soliciting another series of angry pained noises from Leon in response. The Carrier got the message though. 'I hate what you did, but I love you and you worried the shit out of me.' No words needed to be said. It took Leon a minute but he was able to sling a heavy arm around his Charge's waist in response. Cloud released him and stood back, folding his arms over his chest.

"Explain yourself," the blonde demanded.

* * *

By the time Roxas had finished his tale of woe, it was over an hour later and he had been reduced to a quivering mess yet again. He had tried so hard over the last few hours to allow himself to go blank and focus on Axel being with him and it had all been shattered, leaving him feeling weak and vulnerable. He hated it. The visions of everything he had seen came flooding back and he wailed incoherent cries of defiance at them, mashing his palms into his eyes to push them away. Axel had tugged him out of his chair and held him in his lap protectively, petting his flaxen locks and keeping him close.

Ansem was deeply disturbed. He hadn't expected something quite so horrific and his heart went out to the Charge before him. Roxas was quite brave for hanging on as well as he had. He needed to assess Leon though and see if the russet Carrier had recovered. The Technician's mind was reeling with the possible complications the drugs had caused him with his tumor. He let Roxas have a few moments to let out his pain before rising from the desk and tucking his tablet in his lab coat's pocket.

"I know you're having a moment but it's time to leave, Roxas. There isn't anything else I can do for you here, you need to go home and rest," Ansem said calmly. Axel looked to the man before looking to Roxas again. "There should be a transport outside for your both, I need you two leave so I can address my new tasks as heartless as it may seem."

"Okay," the redhead said quietly and rubbed Roxas' back some. He knew the blonde had gone through a lot, but he hadn't realized how much and in such detail. Roxas had watched every piece of Xemnas fly free, every motion of Leon's hands, and every drop of blood fly across the room. It had been a terrifying experience. Then, to have the activity stop and have the fear of possibly Leon turning on him only to watch the Carrier collapse on the floor as if he had died, sealed the deal so to speak. For as traumatic the experience had been, Roxas was still upset with the idea that his friend may have died in front of him. Ansem had assured him that Leon wasn't dead though and it helped but it didn't erase the experience in the least.

"I'll send for a therapist for him if he so desires," Ansem offered as Axel leaned to the side and picked up the anti-radiation suit and boots. He pushed the clothing into Roxas' arms and the blonde held onto it all so Axel could lift him easily. The blonde hadn't registered what Ansem was saying so Axel answered for him.

"We'll get back to you on that. Right now, we just need to get home. You'll keep us informed on Leon though won't you?" the redhead questioned. Ansem looked contemplative for a second.

"As much as I can," he said.

"Then that's all I can ask right now. I need to get Roxas home."

* * *

Yuffie had come back quickly, just like she had said. She parked the car off to the side and reclined in her seat to take a light snooze as she waited for Axel and Roxas to emerge from the building. Demyx and Zexion had taken the opportunity to get some face time together in the grass a short distance away. With everything coming out and the words hanging in the air around them like a floating weight, they both felt considerably better knowing there was no animosity. Demyx was the only one who had expected any sort of pain between them and he was sure it would come eventually, but right now all that mattered was that Zexion loved him still. He could deal with the rest of it later.

Axel had booted the door outward again, cradling the sniffling and shaking blonde to his chest and he looked around once outside. It was extremely late, and the moon was high in the sky by that point but it only took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Roxas wasn't paying any attention to his surroundings and stared at Axel's boots in his hands. They were very elaborate for simply being a safety measure. They had to have at least twenty five eyes for the laces and a few hooks in the tops for them as well. The soles were thick and heavy and he wondered if he could get them resized to fit him and steal them from the redhead. He'd be at least two inches taller in them.

Axel quirked a brow when he noticed _two_ vehicles parked outside instead of just one in addition to Cloud's motorcycle. One was a boring box of a van and another looked like a personally owned car. Near the car though, there was a familiar head of wild hair attached to another face at the mouth and he rolled his eyes. Demyx was making out with Zexion in public again. This new habit of theirs was quickly becoming tiresome for the redhead and he stomped his way across the grass. He stuck his foot into Demyx's side and gave him a hard nudge. Demyx startled and squeaked into Zexion's lips a bit before pulling away and turning towards the intrusion.

"Axel!" he cried happily. "I found my Zexion!"

"So I see," the redhead huffed. Zexion blushed a bit and wiped the excess saliva off of his face before standing and pushing his clothing back into place. Demyx was all smiles as he stood as well and he peered around Roxas' slumped and curled frame to take a peek at his face.

"What's wrong, Roxas?" the sandy blonde asked, his face quickly falling to a look of concern. The blonde didn't move or answer him and Axel took a step back to create some distance between them. Zexion kept an ear open but went to knock on the window of the car. Yuffie startled a bit but she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Yuffie?" Axel questioned when he noticed her. Demyx turned and checked, nodding quickly.

"Zexion came on his own when he got your report and so we get to ride home with her," the sandy blonde explained. Axel nodded.

"I don't care who takes us so long as we get there," he said blandly and looked down at his Charge, grimacing when he couldn't see the blonde's face. Roxas was willing his mind to blank out again. He didn't want to talk or to think anymore. He just wanted to get home, crawl in the bed and be held. He felt horribly emasculated for admitting it to himself, but he couldn't help it.

Axel made his way to the side of the car and Demyx followed to open the back door for him. Zexion made a point to sit in the front, garnering a pout from his sandy counterpart. Demyx took a minute to consider the situation like he was told to before he opened his mouth and realized that he probably wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of his Charge if they sat together. He huffed. He didn't like it, but he understood. Axel awkwardly maneuvered into the back seat with Roxas in tow and situated them both comfortably. The car was wide enough to accommodate them both if they sat side by side but he didn't want to let the blonde go. Roxas didn't care. Demyx closed the door for them and rounded to the other said and took the last available seat.

"This is a major safety issue, you realize," Yuffie said, eyeing the redhead in the rearview. Axel shrugged and wrapped his arm around Roxas protectively, giving the girl a clear indication that he wasn't to be moved. Yuffie sighed a bit but started to car anyway. Everything around the group clicked as the doors and windows sealed themselves, keeping any radiation they might encounter at bay. Demyx crossed his arms grumpily and kept his eyes locked on Zexion, who was calmly watching the scenery pass by.

* * *

"Fine," Cloud snorted when Leon finished telling him everything. His tension never left him but at the very least he knew that Leon hadn't screwed Roxas. He didn't like that he had screwed Xemnas either, but at least the man was dead and they didn't have to live with him. Living with Roxas if Leon had raped him would've created a whole mess of emotional trauma that the taller blonde wouldn't even be able to being to understand or deal with. At least with this scenario, it was cut and dry. Leon raped Xemnas, Leon killed Xemnas, and Xemnas didn't need to be dealt with anymore. Okay. Time to move on. One foot in front of the other.

"Fine? That's it?" Leon asked. He knew that wasn't the full extent of Cloud's reaction but he didn't expect to get much. The Charge rubbed his face tiredly and checked the time. It was almost one in the morning. He didn't want to be there anymore.

"We'll deal with the personal shit later; right now we need to figure out what we're going to do right this instant. What are you going to say to the Committee to keep them from euthanizing yo—" Cloud started. His statement was interrupted when the door opened and Ansem stepped in. They were both speechless. The man looked them both over briefly before settling his eyes on Leon. He smiled.

"It's time," the Technician said calmly.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

Roxas was beginning to wonder if Axel was ever going to let him walk again. The redhead hadn't put him down since they left Xemnas' office and had insisted on carrying him around as they got themselves resituated back home. Home. Roxas wondered when he had started thinking of the facility in such a way. They had taken a detour to drop off the bundle of clothing in Axel's bedroom before the Carrier whisked the blonde away to his own room. When they entered, Roxas startled a bit at the enormous Tigger sitting on his bed.

"Holy shit," he blurted when he saw the thing. Axel chuckled. "Where the hell did you find that thing? It's as big as I am!"

"Radiant Garden, actually. All of them were from there. There's no Tigger here," the redhead said.

"Well where the fuck did you keep it for so long?"

"You know that storage closet in the back of the lab?"

"Yeah…"

"Yeah, don't go in there."

"But I _have_ gone in there."

"Then don't go in any farther," Axel said and chuckled again. Roxas furrowed his brows, a little frightened of wandering too far in and finding Axel's secret trove of Tigger fetish items. Between what he saw in Radiant Garden (the mugs and charms and clothing) and what he's found in the facility, he wasn't sure just how much more there could be. Axel obviously had tigers on the brain all the time and the blonde had the sinking feeling that the Tigger fandom was the redhead's way of dealing with his loneliness. It was…sad. Strangely cute as well, but mostly sad. He was beginning to notice that Tiggers only showed up after periods of time where they had little contact. In the beginning they were generally popping up when Roxas had been an ass and didn't talk to Axel for while. Now, well apparently Axel had had a rough time without him because the newest one was massive. Roxas had no idea where he was going to put it. The other three had ended up sitting on top of his armoire.

"…I'm really not sure what to say about it," the blonde admitted, staring at the plush with wide eyes. Axel smirked and set him on the bed.

"Well it was mostly here for my benefit while you were gone," the redhead said.

"Sleeping in my bed, were you?"

"I said I would. Then it started to smell less like you and more like me and so I moved to my room but left that," he pointed to the stuffed animal, "here for you. If you want it," he said quietly and shuffled his toes amongst the fibers of Roxas' carpeting. The blonde had a thought and snorted a bit into a laugh.

"I just had a horribly cliché thought," he said. Axel raised a brow.

"Do tell."

"No, that's alright. It was stupid," Roxas tried to deflect, feeling a little embarrassed with himself.

"No way, you mentioned it now you have to tell me. Don't leave me hanging like that."

"No, I'll spare you," the blonde insisted. Axel leaned over him, pushing their faces close together and giving his Charge a suspicious eye.

"Tell me," he ordered with a light smile.

"Eh…"

"Tell me," Axel repeated. Roxas smiled some and his cheeks darkened a bit. He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well I was going to say I don't need a giant Tigger to sleep with because I…have you," he trailed and gave the redhead a sideways glance. Axel's face blanked for a brief moment before it split into a huge grin.

"That _was_ really cliché," he said, holding back a laugh. Roxas frowned.

"I'm aware of that, which is why I didn't want to say anything. Now I feel horribly sappy and stupid, _thanks_ ," he spat grumpily. Axel laughed and bypassed the blonde to push the giant offending piece of stuffed fabric off the other side of the bed. It took Roxas minute to realize that he was finally home again and in his own bed which didn't hurt his back, had a blanket, and had adequate pillows. It was a beautiful thing. The Carrier discarded his shirt and flung himself under the covers and waited for his Charge. Roxas took a moment to feel the fabric of his comforter. He had only been gone for a week. Why did everything feel so unreal? He wasn't completely convinced that he was home, and safe.

"…Roxas?" Axel asked and scooted across the mattress. The blonde had been staring at the comforter blankly for several minutes and it was worrisome. Roxas blinked a few times before looking at him.

"Hm?" he hummed in response, seeming like he wasn't all there just yet.

"Coming to bed?" the redhead asked. Roxas nodded deftly and toed off his shoes before discarding his shirt as well. He contemplated getting rid of his shorts too but he couldn't decide what kind of message it would send. He was far too tired for any sort of lustful romp. He decided to keep them and inched under the blanket. The minute he laid down and couldn't feel each individual bump and nook in his mattress, he sighed happily. Axel watched him carefully before sitting up and reaching over to turn off the side table lamp. He settled back and when he looked the blonde over again, Roxas had already closed his eyes and was drifting off. Axel smiled.

* * *

"I still don't see her," Roxas said and squinted at the gestational chamber with his nose nearly touching the glass.

"Yeah she floated away somewhere; I can't see her ether right now. Honestly, it took like four hours of searching the _last_ time I saw her. She's elusive," Axel said.

"How the hell can she be elusive? She has nothing to hide behind," the blonde huffed. "I think you're just dicking with me. You've never seen her, have you?"

"Fuck you, yes I have!" the redhead insisted. They shared a light glare at one another before they both started to laugh. Roxas had slept very well the night before simply because he couldn't stay awake anymore. His body ached as it worked to readjust into its original positioning and got used to a legitimate mattress again, but he felt considerably better. Axel hadn't allowed him to sit around and wallow and they had done everything together so far that day aside from things involving the toilet. The redhead was thrilled with the companionship but he still had an underlying uneasiness for his Charge. Their laughter dwindled as the Catalogue terminal in their lab started to ring and Axel went to answer.

Roxas stiffened a bit when he noticed Cloud on the screen and deliberately turned away from it to search the gestational tank some more so he couldn't see Leon. Axel hadn't noticed the blonde's reaction and was focused on the scenery behind the other blonde Charge before him. Cloud had somehow come across a very luxurious home and the background was filled with lavish bedroom furniture which was mostly made of wood and bright fabrics. Wood! Axel couldn't believe it. He hadn't seen a wooden _anything_ since his time in Radiant Garden. It was all very elaborate and beautiful but Cloud looked horribly out of place.

"Whoa, who's grandmother did you screw to get all that?" Axel sputtered. Cloud smirked.

"It is a bit much, isn't it?" the taller blonde asked rhetorically and looked behind himself at the scenery. "It isn't mine though. It's Ansem's."

"So what, are you like his personal bitch or something now? Why are you there?"

"Fuck off, I'm no such thing. I was just calling to tell you where we would be for the next few days and to tell you to check up on our lab every once in a while."

"Tell me, huh? No asking?"

"Do I ever?"

"Good point."

"Glad we agree."

"I guess one of us has to be a responsible parent anyway. I'll check up on the booger for now, but I want a souvenir," Axel said and folded his hands behind his head and leaned back in his seat.

"We're not on vacation," Cloud said and gave him a glare.

"Well what are you doing then? Having tea and getting buddy-buddy with Ansem? Shouldn't he be a little more upset with you two?" the redhead asked. Roxas froze, his mind flooding with recent memories and he squeezed his eyes shut, his hand on the glass tube.

"Leon's having something done and then we'll be home, I don't have to tell you anything more than that. Just check on the lab every now and again and we should be back soon," the taller blonde huffed. Axel raised a brow. He knew better than to pry but he wanted to know what was up.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes."

"…I don't believe you."

"Do you really think I would take the time to call you if it wasn't?"

"I suppose not…" the redhead trailed, giving the Charge a sideways glare. Cloud nodded.

"Good. See you in a few," he said and quickly ended the transmission. Axel huffed and disconnected his Link before turning in his seat. Roxas had taken to holding his head between his hands as visions of dismembered body parts flying through the air passed through his mind. They were so lifelike, so _real_ that it made his stomach twist. He could almost smell it again. He grit his teeth at them and willed them to go away, but they persisted. He nearly jumped out of his skin, letting out a frightened yelp when Axel placed a hand on his shoulder. The redhead immediately backed off and held his hands up.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you," he said quickly. Roxas stared at him with unfocused wide eyes for a moment before his senses returned to him and he let out a breath. He relaxed a bit and regained his composure.

"Sorry…" he said quietly. Axel gave him a half-smile.

"It's okay," he said. Roxas shook his head.

"No, no it's not."

"Why wouldn't it be? I startled you."

"No I mean I started to see things when I thought about possibly seeing Leon again. I can't really explain it very well. Just… trust me when I say it's not okay."

"Oh. Did you want me to call and set up a therapist for you?" Axel asked, his brows pushing together in concern. Roxas shook his head again.

"I don't really hold a lot of merit for psychology. Psychobabble. Nonsense," the blonde huffed.

"Well the offer is there if you feel the need. I was never one for that sort of thing either. Not that I have a whole lot of life experiences to go to therapy for in the first place, but whatever. I'm here if you need anything though," Axel offered. Roxas nodded. The redhead stepped forward again and the blonde reacted automatically to him and they intertwined themselves in a firm embrace. Roxas was totally oblivious to the simple yet meaningful movement. Axel was astonished but he didn't let it show on his face. That was the first time he didn't have to initiate a hug. He didn't have to tug or prod or touch the blonde in any way before Roxas got what he was going for. He kissed the top of his Charge's head and Roxas looked up. Axel smiled and the blonde gave him a wobbly smile back.

"And here I thought you _weren't_ bumpin' it together," Sora blurted abruptly. The pair startled and looked at the doors where the brunette was standing with his arms crossed over his chest and a knowing smirk on his face. Riku arrived shortly after and waved his greeting calmly. Roxas didn't miss a beat though and scoffed at his younger sibling.

"That's only because you're as dumb as a brick," the blonde said. The brunette glared.

"Am not," was his paltry defense. Riku chuckled and crossed the lab to look at the gestational tank. Sora gaped at his Carrier. "Riku, you think I'm stupid?"

"I didn't say anything of the sort," Riku said simply.

"But you laughed like you thought it was funny! You obviously agree with him," Sora grumped. Axel rubbed Roxas' back a few times before going to join Riku at the tank. They exchanged a quick glance in recognition and looked it over together. Sora skittered over to his brother and yanked the blonde out of the lab, much to Roxas' confusion. They clattered down the hall together and around a few corners, far out of the earshot of their Carriers. Roxas was quickly losing patience and dug his heels into the tile and halted their movements. He wrenched his wrist out of the brunette's grasp and gave him a glare.

"What the hell, spaz?" the blonde spat and rubbed his abused limb. Sora's expression faltered and he shuffled his feet a bit. Roxas furrowed his brows.

"I wanted to talk to you about some stuff," the brunette said sheepishly.

"Well you could've asked instead of pulling me around like a damn wagon."

"Sorry… how was your quarantine by the way?"

"Awful. I don't want to talk about it."

"O-oh…"

"Is something wrong?"

"Well, I wanted to ask you about something but then I remembered you were gone and that we haven't really done much together lately," the brunette said and gave him a nervous laugh. Roxas shrugged. He didn't see the issue. He had spent two years in college and away from his brother and it didn't hinder their relationship before. Spending an entire childhood together tended to do that. One generally got tired of being around their siblings constantly. He was okay with not seeing the brunette. Sora didn't seem all that upset either, which was contradicting what he was saying and the tone of faux concern in his voice. Roxas knew something was up.

"Just tell me what you dragged me over here for, stop pussy-footing," the blonde said.

"Gee, so understanding," Sora said and gave him a sarcastic glare. The brunette took a deep breath. "Well, Riku and I got a notice from the Committee saying that they wanted us to come look at a new section of the ecosystem dome. Apparently they've expanded it to accommodate more land and stuff and they wanted a Carrier to come and assess it and make sure everything's up to snuff. It'd only be a for a few days but it takes a while to get there and I can't really do much outside of stand around and be awesome like I am," he said and grinned. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Okay, so what does that have to do with me?" the blonde asked.

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to come with and keep me company. It's not for like six months yet but I figured I'd ask now."

"Just me?" Roxas questioned and raised a brow.

"And Axel too if he wants, I don't care."

"…Axel's habitat is the _jungle_ , Sora. Riku lives in the _tundra_. There's a serious conflict of interests here. If Axel won't do it, I can't guarantee that I'll go."

"He's got you that whipped, huh?" the brunette asked and wiggled his eyebrows at his brother. Roxas rolled his eyes again.

"No, but a lot has happened during the last week and asking me right after it all makes me not want to go anywhere. Do you know anything about what happened?"

"Only what Demyx and Zexion told me. Xemnas was testing drugs on Carriers and a bunch of bad stuff happened and they had to release everyone early. That's about it."

"Xemnas is dead," Roxas blurted. He took a breath. "Leon did it while he was on the drugs the guy gave him and I watched it happen. It…I…" he trailed as his breath got caught in his throat. Sora blinked and pushed his brows together worriedly as his brother's face blanked out as the memories zoomed by again.

"Hey…Roxas?" the brunette said and waved a hand in front of the blonde's face a few times before snapping his fingers in front of the blonde's nose. Roxas startled and blinked a few times, his eyes coming back into focus.

"Sorry…" he said quietly and rubbed his forehead.

"That was weird," the brunette said. "When did it all happen?"

"Early yesterday sometime."

"Damn," Sora said and held his chin in thought. "I didn't know, sorry. You don't have to answer me right now about going on the trip, I honestly don't even know if they'll let you come yet but I wanted to ask you before I asked them, you know?" he asked. Sora didn't fully understand why Roxas was acting as strangely as he was or what was going on but it was obvious that the blonde was upset with whatever had happened so the brunette didn't pry. He figured it'd all come out soon enough.

"Why did you need to drag me all the way over here to ask me about it though?" the blonde asked, forcing the visions away as best as he could.

"Well there was something else I wanted to tell you but I'm not sure how well you'd get it and give me advice," Sora said and smiled.

"Um…okay. What is it?"

"Riku told me he loves me," the brunette said quietly and shuffled his foot against the tile a bit, some color coming to his cheeks. Roxas blinked.

"So?" he asked.

"…See that's what I mean. You're really terrible with this shit," the brunette laughed. "The problem is that I don't know if I can say the same to him."

"Oh. So?"

"Damn, Roxas."

"What? What do you want me to say? 'Lie to him?' If you don't feel the same way, then you don't feel the same way. There isn't much you can do outside of force yourself and that doesn't seem like the best way of doing things."

"Well…I—don't _you_ love Axel? How do you deal with it?" Sora asked, almost pleading. Roxas opened his mouth to say something but he didn't know what the words were. He closed his mouth again and looked to the side, contemplating. He had no idea. The topic of love had never come up between him and the redhead. He had thought about it briefly in quarantine but nothing since and nothing before that.

"…I have no idea," he admitted after a few moments of thought. Sora sighed and ran his fingers through his unruly hair. Roxas had an idea. "Ask Demyx. I bet he'd love to gush to you about Zexion."

"I would if I could find them," the brunette said.

"They're probably in one of their rooms fucking each other senseless," the blonde said gruffly, feeling displeased with the possibility of walking past a door and being able to hear _everything_. Sora pursed his lips and thought a bit.

"Probably. That's not a bad idea though. Did you want me to report back with my findings like a good pretend scientist?" Sora said and nudged the blonde. Roxas scoffed.

"Nice. Pretend science. It's basically what you're doing isn't it? Have you even touched any of the machines yet?"

"Barely. I have, but I'm really bad with them."

"Why does Riku keep you around then?"

"I have no clue. Oh wait. Yeah I do. We're fucking."

"…Wonderful," Roxas said flatly.

"Cloud and Zexion want us to test those pills for them though. Riku's unsure about it but I think it'd be awesome. My ass needs a break."

"Sora! God! Stop! I don't need to know this shit," the blonde gasped and backed away a few feet. Sora laughed.

"Why? Are you telling me _you_ top Axel with your tiny ass?"

"Stop!" Roxas barked, his cheeks turning a bright crimson. The brunette sputtered and laughed even louder at his brother's expense.

"You should see your face! You look like a pissed off hamster!" he cried and held his sides. Roxas stomped to him angrily and kicked him in the shin harshly. Sora yelped and hopped onto one foot, rubbing his limb but his laughing broke through. Roxas fumed in his spot, waiting for the other to calm down. The younger sibling finally stopped and rubbed his eyes, getting the last of his giggles out.

"I hate you sometimes," the blonde huffed.

"Yeah, I know. But it's normal."

"Do you think Riku would actually go through with it though?"

"I have no idea. You know what would be really mean?"

"What?"

"If I told him I'd love him if he took them."

"That's just evil. Don't do that."

"I know. I won't. It was just a thought," the brunette said and itched his cheek. "I can't help but wonder if he'd let me top just because I asked him to though. It seems like the common theme here is for the Charge to be on the bottom, yeah? Does anyone even _ask_ to switch things up?"

"That's actually a good point. I never thought about it."

"How about this? You ask Axel and I'll ask Riku. Let's get scientific about this and report back to each other. It'll be like some kinky party game," Sora said with a doofy open mouthed grin. Roxas looked at him like he was insane.

"You're not supposed to play kinky party games with your siblings, Sora."

"Psh! Oh come on! You're not the least bit curious?"

"I am, I'm just a little disturbed by the way you phrased it."

"Whatever. My ass is tired. I'm just overly excited with the possibilities."

"How much sex have you been having that you're this messed up about it?" the blonde asked, horrified he even had the gumption to ask such a question. He wasn't even sure he wanted to know.

"Once, sometimes twice a day," Sora said simply and shrugged. Roxas gaped at him.

"Good god! Can you even digest properly anymore?"

"I'm fine, thanks. Ew. Don't ask about that stuff, dude. Why? Are you and Axel dry humping all the time or something? How much do you have?"

"Twice."

"See? You d—"

"Twice. Period. Finite amount."

"…Well now I feel skanky."

"I feel like a prude, don't feel bad."

"It's settled then. You need to get laid and I need to keep my pants on," the brunette said matter-of-factly and gave a sage nod. Roxas smirked.

"Possibly."

* * *

Roxas was surprised to find a note taped to his door when he was heading to bed that evening. He held the thing like it was an alien. He hadn't seen a piece of paper since he signed his contract with Axel. It hardly even felt like paper to him but he pushed the thoughts aside and opened it to find very precise computer font handwriting that looked very much like Axel's.

_Marluxia: s9dv2_

_Love, Dem-Dem_

"Dem-Dem?" Axel questioned, leaning over the blonde's shoulder with a suspicious tone. Roxas shrugged.

"I have no idea. Do _you_ understand him half the time?"

"Not really. Who's Marluxia?"

"The bird guy with the pink hair, remember?"

"Oh yeah! That guy. You found him?" the redhead questioned and Roxas unlocked his door, pushing it inward and heading into the room.

"I did. He's actually a lot nicer than I thought he was going to be. I expected someone a little more…"

"Gay?" Axel blurted with a snicker.

"Yeah," the blonde said and laughed a bit. He had decided that the new Tigger he had acquired needed to live in the little room that held his Catalogue terminal and he startled when he opened the door to find it sitting in there staring at him. Looming almost. He shook his head a bit and ignored its woven eyes in favor of sitting at the terminal and plugging his watch in and waiting for it to start. Axel came in and sat on the floor, leaning against the plush like a chair. "I thought inorganic materials couldn't be brought through the crystal…thing. And for that matter, when did you bring them all back?" Roxas asked, eyeing the giant toy suspiciously.

"I had to go back every few years for a check-up to make sure I was functioning okay. They're all made of cotton though. No polyester."

"…Didn't everyone forget you when you left though? How did you keep jobs and build up an employment history?"

"I wasn't born there so they don't forget me. I don't really understand it as well as a Technician does but it has to do with the string theory of the various dimensions and the essence of human existence. If I go back there now, I'd probably be arrested for tax evasion and be slammed with a bunch of debt. Now, if I _had_ to go back there I could, but hopefully I won't need to because that would mean I'd be there to find another Charge. If I had to choose another one, I'd purposefully avoid Radiant Garden and the entire plane surrounding it for at least another hundred years and let my history die."

"Does that mean that people remember Technicians?"

"They do."

"Weird. I wonder if I've ever met one and I don't know it," the blonde said and thought about any random people he may have come in contact with that had asked too many questions.

"It's possible, but highly unlikely. They're very sneaky."

"That's creepy."

"Yeah it is."

"This entire system is just full of stalkers isn't it?" the blonde huffed and started typing away at the terminal, opening a line of communication and inputting Marluxia's model number. He had two options of terminals to call, one in the avian Carrier's lab and one in his home. He chose the home line.

"Stalkers and inadvertent incest, yes. Isn't it beautiful?" the redhead sighed with a sarcastic wistfulness.

"That's fucked up, Axel," Roxas said flatly.

"Hey, don't blame me. I didn't make it up." The call took a moment to go through and when it did, it wasn't Marluxia who answered but his Charge Celia. She was incredibly beautiful with a fair complexion and a splattering of light freckles on her cheeks. She had large almond shaped emerald eyes, a button-like nose, and soft pink 'come hither' lips with a defined Cupid's bow shaped upper lip. Her hair was a lustrous strawberry blonde that fell nearly to her elbows in soft waves. She was wearing a pink sun dress with small white polka dots. Roxas wasn't expecting her and his breath caught in his throat, unsure of what to say to her.

"Hello? Who're you?" she asked curiously, giving him a small smile. Roxas nearly melted. Axel glared at the screen a little.

"Um…" the blonde trailed, trying not stare at her amble bosom. Celia laughed a bit.

"Are you looking for Marluxia? You must be because I don't believe we've met."

"I'm Roxas," he blurted. She looked thoughtful for a moment before it dawned on her and she nodded, her smile widening.

"Yes! I remember you from the Charge Forum. Marluxia mentioned you but he didn't think your friend would actually remember to give you the message to call. Hello! I'm Celia."

"I heard about you."

"I'm glad to hear it, let me go find him really quick. I'll be right back," she said quickly, took off her watch, and stood to leave. Roxas blinked when he caught a glimpse of her stomach. Celia was pregnant. Very pregnant.

"Whoa," Axel said quietly from his position on the floor. Once the screen was free of her wobbling frame Roxas could take in their home. It was set up much like Leon and Cloud's was but the Catalogue terminal was in the common area that included the kitchen, dining area and living room. The biggest difference was that it was decorated in citrus colors of soft oranges, pinks, greens and yellows. There were a series of metal rods hanging from the ceiling at various points and Roxas wondered if they were meant to be decorative or if they held a purpose. Obviously Celia had given the home an overhaul over the years. Either that or Leon and Cloud were both incredibly boring individuals. Roxas was betting on a little of both. The woman came back with Marluxia in tow, but he wasn't what Roxas was expecting.

Marluxia's Primal form was, for lack of a better term, pretty. The bird was a shining example of what all good Indian Blue Peacocks should be and Celia was careful to cradle him delicately in her lap and let his elaborate plumage hang off the side of the chair. She reached up and pulled a second Link cable from behind the terminal and Marluxia craned his neck a bit for her to push the tiny feathers out of the way and plug the chord into his Link. Celia pressed a few buttons afterward and sat back.

" _Testing…one, two…_ " Marluxia's voice came over the transmission. Celia giggled.

"Uh…Hi again," Roxas said. It was all a bit much to take in. He didn't know hardly anything about the Carrier outside of what they talked about in quarantine all of which wasn't very personal. He had so many questions for the avian but he had no idea how to go about it. Axel on the other hand, was insanely jealous and gave the terminal the evil eye from his spot on the floor.

" _Hello Roxas. I'm surprised to hear from you. Demyx didn't give me the impression he was entirely reliable in relaying the message._ "

"I'm a little surprised, myself," the blonde said.

"I bet Zexion did it," Axel snorted. Roxas looked behind himself, he had almost forgotten about him. The redhead pushed himself up and went to loom over his Charge.

" _Hello. Axel?_ " Marluxia asked.

"Yeah. Nice tail," Axel said flatly.

" _Thank you._ _I grew it myself. It is quite nice, isn't it? I was originally hoping for a call to give a proper goodbye. I didn't get to see you off from the quarantine facility._ "

"Yeah, some things came up and we had to stay a bit longer. I was planning on posting a big huge thing on the Charge Forum eventually so I don't really want to get into it right now, but even then I'm not sure of how much I'm allowed to say."

" _The news feed said that Xemnas passed away. I can't say I feel very sorry for him but whatever happened meant I could come home early so I'm grateful_."

"Now that's a little harsh, don't you think?" Celia chided and Marluxia looked to her and blinked a big glassy black eye at her.

" _I suppose, but he wasn't my best friend to say the least._ "

"There's more to it than that and I'll try to post something soon…" Roxas trailed as his thoughts began to drift. Axel put a hand on his head and ruffled his hair a bit, pulling him back and he blinked a bit to refocus his attention.

" _I'm glad to see you made it home safely, regardless of the circumstances._ "

"Thanks. You too, though when I called I didn't expect… well I didn't know what to expect, honestly. I like your house," the blonde said, which was a partial lie. He wasn't very fond of the color scheme but he did like the house itself.

" _Oh. Well thank Celia for that. She spends a lot of time here lately and she's been on a womanly rampage getting things in order and tossing frilly things everywhere._ "

"You said you liked it," the woman huffed and glared at her Carrier.

" _And I do. I was simply stating the method,_ " he insisted.

"Good. I'm not changing it again," she said and stuck her nose in the air. She blinked a few times. "Excuse me," she said politely and slid her hands under Marluxia's body and lifted him a bit and stood before replacing him in the chair. The height difference was almost comical as Roxas and Axel could barely see the top of his head anymore and he let out an exasperated sigh as he couldn't see the screen very well from his new vantage point. Celia skittered off to the back of the house and climbed the stairs.

" _Damn it, hang on_ ," Marluxia sighed again and shifted around in the seat before pulling himself up to stand on the arm, flicking his train of plumage up and over the back so it could hang comfortably over the side again. " _There, my apologies_."

"Roxas has height problems too, don't worry," Axel chuckled. The blonde whirled on him with a look of pure malice and smacked him in the arm. The redhead grinned.

" _Yes well, my Implant is much taller._ "

"I'm surprised you squeezed it all into your Primal, now that I've seen both," Roxas said.

" _Wonders of modern science indeed,_ " the avian said and shifted his footing a bit, making the chair wobble unevenly.

"Where did Celia go so suddenly?" the blonde asked. He was sad to see her leave. She was nice to look at.

" _Probably to go do pregnant woman things. Bathroom runs and such. I make an effort to not bother her though I wish she would've put me on something other than the chair._ "

"When is she due?"

" _Two weeks._ "

"Wow, you would've missed it if you hadn't come home early."

" _It's true, which is why I'm extremely pleased to be here._ "

"Congratulations," Axel said. Roxas nodded in agreement.

" _Thank you. It's our first. Hopefully everything will go smoothly._ "

"…Can I ask how old you are?" the blonde asked sheepishly. He didn't know much about Carrier etiquette and what was appropriate and what wasn't.

" _Four hundred and twenty-five,_ " Marluxia said simply. Roxas' eyes widened.

"Oh," was all he could think to say. Axel furrowed his brows; it had been a long time since he felt young. It was an odd sensation. Marluxia chuckled.

" _Old bastard, right?_ "

"Sort of," the blonde laughed.

" _I have two older brothers, if you can believe it. Four younger ones and eight sisters._ "

"Oh wow. You obviously have enough natural offspring too, do you know how many?" the blonde asked curiously. The redhead flexed his jaw a bit. He really didn't want to hear about Marluxia's success.

" _I've lost count. There're so many generations now we don't even bother keeping track of them all._ "

 _Good, let's go hunting. I could go for a turkey leg,_ Axel thought to himself snidely.

"That's awesome," Roxas said and smiled. Celia descended the staircase again and came back to her chair. Marluxia wobbled a bit on the arm again when she sat but he held steady with a quick flap of his wings and resettled himself. She looked a bit flushed and there was a crease in her brow she didn't have before.

" _Feeling alright?_ " the avian questioned and looked her over.

"Crampy," she huffed and rubbed her belly.

" _Did you want to lie down?_ "

"If you don't mind," she said and cast her gaze to Roxas. The blonde quirked a brow.

"I feel like I overstayed my welcome as it is," he said and gave her a nervous smile.

"Nonsense, it was nice talking to someone new. But if you'll excuse us, I think we need to say our goodbyes," she said.

" _It was nice talking to you again, Roxas. And it was nice to meet you as well Axel. Keep in touch,_ " Marluxia said. Celia disconnected his Link and he turned around on the arm of the chair a bit before hopping to the floor. He was there for a few seconds before jumping again and flapping his way up to one of the metal rods that hung from the ceiling. A perch, apparently. Celia smiled to the pair on the screen.

"We'll talk again soon, yes?" she asked. Roxas nodded.

"Sure," he said. Axel waved to her with his fingertips and she waved back before ending the transmission.

"Bedtime please," the redhead said flatly and made his way out of the tiny room. Roxas furrowed his brows a bit at his Carrier's tone but disconnected his watch and went to join him. Axel tossed his shirt aside before tugging the covers down and flopping onto the bed. He shifted a bit in his spot and pushed his shorts out of the bed with a foot before settling on his stomach and pulling a mass of pillows to his face. Roxas raised a brow. The redhead's movements were tense and he wasn't sure why. The blonde peeled his clothing off as well and scooted in next to him. Axel didn't make a move to cuddle with him though.

"Something wrong?" Roxas asked. The redhead looked to him.

"Nothing. I'm just being horrendously immature. Give me a minute," he huffed and laid his face in the pillow again before heaving a heavy sigh. Roxas waited and a few moments. Axel looked to him again. "Okay I'm done," he said simply.

"Um…alright," the blonde said. "Why were you being immature?"

"Because I'm jealous of a guy who's four centuries my senior and it's stupid," Axel admitted. Roxas thought about it and nodded.

"It is kind of stupid."

"Right. Time to move on," the redhead chuckled. Roxas smirked and scooted closer. Axel rolled onto his side and the blonde moved to him and pressed himself along his Carrier's body readily. The redhead smiled and hugged him close, reveling in the skin-on-skin contact he had missed so much. Whether or not the blonde was aware of how meaningful the movements were, Axel was unsure, but so long as they didn't stop he didn't care. Riku had told him what he had confessed to Sora and the story weighed on the redhead's mind. When he and his Charge were like this, close together and in their own peaceful space, he could honestly say that he felt the same sort of chemistry.

It was the uncertainty of whether or not Roxas felt the same way that confused him.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

Axel had no idea when it had happened but when he went to check on Cloud and Leon's lab a few days later there was a pile of people inside. Large metal rimmed dividing walls with black fabric for panels were set up like a barrier around the Diagnostic Care Center in the back of the lab as well. Most of Leon's kind was present with the few remaining Charges in tow, lying on a series of air mattresses, getting the last couple hours of sleep in before the day began. Leon and Cloud were nowhere in sight, but that didn't mean they weren't behind the panels of fabric. The redhead was confused. He decided to leave everyone alone though and inch out of the lab before he disturbed anything.

Ever the early riser, Axel was at odds with what to do with himself. Roxas didn't usually get up with him and their last couple nights together hadn't been the best. The blonde would occasionally shoot up out of a dead sleep because of some deranged nightmare he was having and though he was quick to fall asleep again, the redhead would lie awake and watch over him anyway, just to make sure. He supposed he could whittle the wee hours of the morning away slaving over a pair of hot sperm but when he went to retrieve one of his samples and took a gander, he scowled. They were beginning to degrade. He sighed. It had been a while since he provided a fresh one so it made sense, but attacking his Charge at four in the morning to procure a new one didn't seem very polite. He contemplated this for all of three seconds before deciding that Roxas would forgive him for the inconvenience and left the lab with a new sample canister in hand.

* * *

Roxas groaned. It was still dark out and Axel was being awfully touchy. He hadn't realized when the redhead had left but he was aware of when he came back because suddenly there was a pair of warm hands running over his thighs. Admittedly, it wasn't a bad way to wake up but he hadn't had the intention of doing so until at least sunrise. He groggily pulled his wrist up to his face and clicked a button to illuminate the time and immediately regretted it when he blinded himself with the tiny screen. It was twenty after four in the morning and he pressed his palms to his face, letting out a sigh. Axel chuckled and laid a series of kisses along the back of his neck leading down to his shoulders.

"Axel?" Roxas asked.

"Hmm?" the redhead responded, continuing his peckish movements.

"It's early."

"Yes it is."

"…You're not bothered by that?"

"Nope," the Carrier said simply and slid his hands up the blonde's thighs and intertwined his fingers amongst the wiry patch of hair found on his Charge's lower abdomen. Roxas' stomach tensed as a flurry of tingles spread over his skin.

"Is this a business endeavor or are you just saying hello? Because I would prefer to take a pee and brush my teeth first," the blonde said.

"A little of both, but you can do that if you want," Axel said and planted one last firm kiss between Roxas' shoulder blades before he let the blonde scoot away. Roxas took his merry time exiting the bed and grumbling like a crotchety old man all the way to the bathroom. Axel was thoroughly amused with the display and waited patiently. Inside the bathroom, the blonde went about his business but did it crankily as he contemplated whether or not the redhead even understood that his twenty year old chemistry didn't allow for his brain to function very well before his proverbial bowl of Cheerio's and cup of coffee. When he left the light of the bathroom behind him he was blinded yet again but by the darkness, and he clumsily smacked his knee into the bed before flopping into it again with an exasperated huff. Axel stifled a laugh.

"Damn it…" the blonde sighed into the comforter.

"You're so dainty."

"Shut up," he spat and hauled himself up and dragged himself across the bed before collapsing face-first into his pillow again. He lifted an arm and waved his hand lazily. "Okay go," he said, his voice muffled by the fabric, and Axel raised a brow.

"You're just going to lay there?"

"I'm really tired, Axel. Like… I don't even have the energy to argue."

"Oh my. It's the apocalypse."

"Glad we understand each other then."

"I suppose I could be nice and let you sleep," Axel said and inched over to him and laid a kiss in his hair. He was disappointed of course, but he understood. Well maybe a little more than disappointed. He hadn't even felt Roxas' lips since the blonde returned and he was hoping the excuse of needing a sample would urge him back to where they were before. Apparently not. He shuffled out of the bed again and pulled on his shorts before taking up the sample canister with and his shirt. Roxas pulled the covers up over himself again and could barely make out the redhead's silhouette in the darkness as the Carrier took his leave, closing the door behind him quietly.

* * *

Axel tried not to let himself think too much into Roxas' rejection. The blonde was tired, traumatized, and probably just having a hard time adjusting. Hopefully. It was three hours before Roxas showed up in the lab for work and by that point the redhead was going cross-eyed from sorting through his samples and figuring out which were useable and which weren't. Most of them were, though just barely. He needed to use the older ones before he used the new one, of course, but the process was horribly tedious. He was taking a break from the Extractor and was checking up on their little bean's progress scans when the blonde joined him.

"G'morning," Roxas said and yawned, scratching his scalp some as he went to lean over the back of his Carrier's seat and read whatever it was he was doing. Axel looked up at him and smirked.

"You need a haircut," the redhead said, taking in the shaggy bed head his Charge had opted to wear for the day.

"Feh…" the blonde trailed and squinted at the screen on the Gestational Terminal. "How is she?"

"Peachy," Axel said simply and smiled.

"Good," Roxas said and went to the Catalogue terminal and took up his tablet that had been lying there and poked at it until it woke up for him. Over the course of the last few days he had been going through Xemnas' tablet and reading whatever he could find and as a result he had neglected his own device. The deceased Technician's was much more entertaining after all and contained a veritable utopia of information most of which was interesting but useless because Roxas didn't know what to do with it. He steered clear of anything having to do with the quarantine facility though since there was no point in rehashing everything. He especially liked reading about the different planes the man had traveled to recently and the information on different Charges he had gathered. Roxas had gotten a small glimpse of some of them from the Charge Forum before but he was interested in the details versus the overall picture.

"What's on the agenda for today, captain?" Axel asked as he swiveled around in his chair to look at his Charge. Roxas' expression drooped.

"Well…It's Saturday."

"Right."

"Implant day."

"Right again."

"…Internal exam day," the blonde finished flatly.

"Think you'll be able to do it this time around?" the redhead asked, politely keeping a smile at bay. Roxas had purposefully avoided this particular task like the plague and Axel doubted he really had much of anything else to do that day in order to push it off again. The blonde sighed.

"Do I have a choice? Did you want to do your teeth first or your ass first?" he grumped and tossed the tablet on an exam table.

"Teeth first. Ass to mouth is a big no-no for me," Axel said and chuckled. Roxas cast him an annoyed glare and the redhead failed at forcing his face to convey that of innocence. The blonde was not amused and grumpily stomped over to the storage cabinet and tore it open to rifle through its contents for his instruments. Axel furrowed his brows at his Charge's sour attitude but obediently went to set up their station which amounted to pulling the extension out from under the exam table and finding something to prop his head up on. Once it was all in place he lay on the cold metal surface and waited. Roxas joined him shortly thereafter wearing a small headlamp and toting a bundle of sterile dentistry instruments and a pair of latex gloves.

The purpose of an oral exam was to not only make sure that Axel's mouth was clean and tartar free but to check on the Link and make sure it was staying in place like it was supposed to and that the Signet sensor was still in firmly implanted. Placing an open hole of any sort anywhere on one's body posed its own set of problems. Obviously, depending on where it was on the body was a major factor and for large predators like Axel, the biggest issue was keeping it free of food particles. The redhead couldn't feel the hole in his tooth even when it did get caked in meat hunks but he was diligent enough to keep it clean anyway and Roxas rarely had to break out something metal and pointy to pick the debris out. Once the exam was finished and the blonde deemed that his Carrier was orally healthy (as expected) he went about the second half which was where he plugged his tablet into the Link and made sure everything connected easily and that the electric conductivity was sufficient, which it was. It was a simple and painless process that was done regularly while deep cleanings only needed to be done yearly. Roxas hesitated before beginning to clean everything up and put it all back in its proper place.

"Where do you want me?" Axel asked as he pushed off of the exam table and went to pull the shades over the windows in the lab doors.

"It doesn't matter," the blonde said quietly as he fished through the cabinet for the tube of gel they had that was gathering dust somewhere. He wasn't nervous to see Axel naked but he wasn't exactly skipping though the tulips with the idea of sticking his fingers in the redhead's ass. He was silently thanking whoever invented latex gloves as he pulled out a fresh one. Axel wasn't thrilled either; the back of his mind was irking him with the idea of presenting his backside to someone regardless of the reasoning or who they were. It was a very vulnerable position, after all.

Axel watched his Charge fumble around in the cabinet for another few minutes, the tension obvious in his movements. He went to the exam table and bent at the waist, balancing his chin on his palms. Roxas found the gel and turned to the redhead and hesitated again. The fact that Axel was so much taller than the table didn't help his positioning as he was unknowingly sticking his hips in the air in such a way that made his rump look… supple. The blonde rubbed his eye, pretending to remove a piece of dust or something from it when in reality he was attempting to de-sexualize the entire process for himself. He was thankful Axel wasn't looking at him.

"Excuse the cobwebs," the redhead said as he began to unfasten his shorts.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the blonde asked, a little offended.

"Would you rather I crack a joke along the lines of 'forgive me Father for I have sinned, it's been over eighty years since my last prostate exam?' That seems to be in bad taste."

"Oh. Never mind. I thought you meant something else," Roxas said and laughed a bit. He pulled on the glove before uncapping the gel and squirting out a dollop onto his fingers. Axel let his shorts dip low but held them up in the front to avoid letting them drop to the floor just in case Demyx decided to make himself known like he tended to do. He held his face in his free hand, feeling the color come to his face as the degradation set in. He hated it. "So… if it's been eighty years but you came back here from Radiant Garden for checkups, did they just ignore this part?" the blonde asked and squished the gel around on his digits.

"Yes. I gave a sample whenever I came back to show that I was functioning alright but no one ever went this far, which I'm thankful for. Don't talk about it anymore and just get it over with, please," the redhead sighed and rubbed his brows, glaring down at the tabletop. Roxas fidgeted a bit before setting his hand in the right place and looking away. He didn't really want to see what he was doing. Axel let out a grunt when he could feel the blonde press against him. The intrusion was awkward, uncomfortable, and created a newfound appreciation for the discomfort he put his Charge in when they had sex. Roxas only had a general idea of what he was doing and felt around for the little rubbery triangle he had read about. "Let's move this along," Axel urged impatiently, his Charge was taking forever.

"Sorry. I need a GPS," the blonde grumbled. Axel would've laughed if he wasn't busy feeling so emasculated. His thighs gave a violent twitch when Roxas managed to scrape over the little bundle of nerves and he sucked in a breath. The blonde noticed and felt the organ like he was supposed to and deemed that it wasn't overly huge and healthy feeling. As a measure of curiosity though, he gave it an extra poke, garnering another harsh twitch from the redhead and sudden glare from over the shoulder.

"Are you trying to provoke me?"

"Into doing what?" Roxas asked, finding the reactions amusing enough to continue, his eyes focused on Axel's rather than his fingers.

"This isn't a date, Roxas," Axel grumbled and grit his teeth against the sensations of the blonde prodding around where he didn't need to be. The worst part was he could feel himself hardening against his hand where he clutched his shorts and if the blonde was just messing with him, he wasn't going to be a happy camper. Roxas was considering his and Sora's conversation from a couple days ago by this point. Axel wasn't helping his curiosity by giving him a flustered glare with pink cheeks that barely peeked over his shoulder. The entire view was more than enticing.

"Should we make it one?" the blonde asked. He was perfectly fine with the idea of being on the giving end of everything. Axel on the other hand, furrowed his brows at the proposition.

"Not like this."

"Aw, really? Afraid I'll make you scream too much?" the blonde teased and wiggled his finger around a bit more, eliciting a very satisfying grunt from the redhead. Axel didn't say anything but slammed his fist down on the exam table, startling the blonde before shoving it forward a few inches so he could free himself and stand upright again. Roxas didn't understand what the problem was. Axel ignored the excess gel that stuck to his skin and quickly pulled his shorts up and fastened them into place again. Roxas took off the glove and tossed it aside but the redhead didn't wait for him and stomped from the lab without a word, leaving the blonde gaping at the doors as they swung shut. He sighed.

* * *

Axel stalked around in his room, his mind teetering between extreme embarrassment, anger, and arousal. It was an odd combination but the last feature was quickly losing presence in his crankiness. Roxas had taken a process that was less than favorable for him and turned it into something worse. Something that reminded him of other shortcomings he had as well as challenging his dominance in a way that was unacceptable. As he had expected, there was a knock on his door.

"Go away, Roxas. I don't want to talk just yet," he said. He needed to calm down to keep himself from saying things he didn't mean but he was sure he was coming off like a pissed off teenager regardless. Not that he cared. There was silence from the door for a moment before the distinct sound of someone leaning against it and sliding down to sit on the floor. Axel rolled his eyes; he didn't want the blonde to wait. What part of 'go away' didn't he understand? He sighed and rubbed his brows before going to open the door. He leered down at the blonde and Roxas looked up at him, the strange backwards angle making his eyes look like enormous globes of water and Axel mentally cursed him for being so damn cute.

"That was quick," the blonde said.

"I told you to go away, not sit in front of my door like a lost puppy."

"Well what else was I supposed to do?" Roxas asked and pushed himself up from the floor. Axel flexed his jaw a bit before sighing again and stepping aside and holding the door open.

"Get in here," the redhead ordered. Roxas stepped in and Axel closed the door.

"You mind telling me what I did that was so wrong?" the blonde asked.

"You embarrassed me," Axel said simply and crossed his arms over his chest.

"That's it? Embarrassed you in front of whom, exactly?"

"Just in general. I don't like prostate exams and you made it worse by trying to turn it sexual and _then_ you decided to mock me."

"Mock you? I didn't mock you."

"You decided that the reason I didn't want you to take me was because I would scream too much. I don't like that I do that if you haven't already noticed," the redhead said, attempting to keep the light blush from coming to his cheeks but only succeeded in making it worse. Roxas furrowed his brows.

"It was a joke; I didn't think you'd take offense. I'm sorry. If you don't want to do anything like that, that's fine I guess."

"It's not that I'm refusing you completely I just wish you would've not turned it into a joke and picked a better time to approach me for it."

"So you're allowed to come solicit sex from me at four in the morning but I can't turn an unhappy experience into a better one?"

"But I didn't embarrass you in order to do it. I was trying to use the excuse of needing a new sample to get a bit closer again because I feel like we've taken a few steps back from the way it was before you left. I was trying to give you some space to readjust but my samples are degrading and I was hoping I wouldn't have to use my hands on myself quite as much. Am I being selfish and pushing you too much or something? Or did I do something wrong?"

"No…" the blonde trailed.

"Well… then what is it?" Axel asked, attempting to search his Charge's face but Roxas wasn't giving him anything to go off of. The blonde was silent for several moments, letting things process and sink in.

"I haven't really thought about it very much. I guess it's on the back burner for me and I didn't even realize it was. I've…" he hesitated. "I've been worrying about not thinking about anything and forcing myself to blank everything out too much, I guess. You're right though. I mean…" he trailed again gave a wry laugh, "we haven't even kissed."

"I don't want to guilt you into anything; I just need to make sure there isn't some underlying problem I've been missing. Are you sure you don't want to see a therapist?"

"I don't want to, no. I'm not sure I should just yet, either. I can think about it without shitting myself now but I'm not sleeping as well as I should be so I'm getting mixed messages. If anything I just feel like a baby for letting myself get so upset in the first place."

"It hasn't even been a week yet so don't expect miracles. Just…consider it. I'm not happy with this weird limbo we've put ourselves in."

" _I've_ put us in. There isn't a 'we' here. I didn't even realize I was doing it, which is the bigger problem, isn't it?" Roxas questioned. Axel shrugged.

"It could be, but I'm not a professional—" his words were cut off by a knock at the door. They exchanged a glance before the redhead turned to open it. It was Demyx and he was standing calmly, looking up at his friend with a smile. Axel quirked a brow. "Is someone holding a gun to your back? My door is still in one piece," he said and reached forward and put his hand on the sandy blonde's forehead, checking his temperature. Demyx scowled.

"Hey! Dick, I'm trying to stop doing that," he spat and batted the redhead's hands away. Axel smirked.

"My goodness, _everyone_ is just going through life changing experiences lately aren't they?"

"Shut up," Demyx huffed. Roxas snickered a bit.

"Well what did you need?" Axel asked.

"I was coming to see if you wanted to go for a run and to ask if you know anything about what's going on in Leon and Cloud's lab."

"What's going on in Leon and Cloud's lab?"

"There's a big ass wall…thing in front of the Care Center and I didn't know why. Do you?"

"I have no idea. I went to check on their gestational tank and almost everyone in their family was in there when they weren't yesterday. Sneaky bastards must have come home while everyone was sleeping."

"Oh… well damn. They're all still sleeping still so I can't go in there and screw with them otherwise I might be killed."

"That's always a good plan," Axel said.

"Ah well. We'll figure it out eventually, I'm sure."

"Who shoved a maturity pill up your ass? Wait, never mind. Don't answer that," the redhead added quickly. Demyx grinned.

"No one did. I shoved it up Zexion's ass."

"Gah! Okay! That's enough. I deserved that but I don't need any more," Axel said and waved a hand. Demyx laughed.

"Did you want to go for a run or not?" he asked. Axel contemplated it and turned to Roxas, who shrugged. The redhead thought about it a bit more.

"Can I take a rain check until tomorrow?"

"I _guess_ ," Demyx huffed and crossed his arms. He stood defiantly in the doorway for a moment before shrugging and bidding his goodbyes. Axel closed the door again and turned to his Charge.

"Not feeling it?" the blonde asked.

"Tomorrow I'll be in my Primal form anyway so why do it more than I have to?"

"I really wish you'd get over that. I like your Primal."

"It's just a habit, I guess," the redhead said and shrugged. Roxas stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Axel's waist in a tight hug. The Carrier smiled and hugged him back. The blonde was silent for several minutes, listening to the redhead's heartbeat, eventually though he looked up and Axel smiled at him. Roxas felt guilty for all the confusion he had put the redhead through. Axel was always so supportive of him regardless of what his actions were. Whether he was being an ass and figuring himself out or acting traumatized and infantile. He didn't understand how someone could put up with so much and still be willing to move forward with him. Whenever any of his girlfriends had gotten too overbearing he had dropped them like hot potatoes. Perhaps it spoke volumes of the redhead's age or maybe it was simply Axel. "Is something on my face?" Axel asked. Roxas blinked, realizing he was staring.

"Another cliché thought," the blonde blurted and started to laugh under his breath.

"What's that?" the Carrier asked. Roxas chewed on his lip a little, stifling another laugh at his own expense. He pushed himself up on his tip toes and laid a gentle kiss on the redhead's lips.

"I was going to say there wasn't enough of me on your face."

"Wow. That was awful," Axel said and grinned.

"I know. I almost failed my Poetry class in high school," the blonde said and moved his arms up to wrap them around his Carrier's neck and pull him back for another kiss. Axel more than happily responded and their tongues were quick to come together, setting Roxas' skin on fire with gossebumps. He had nearly forgotten what Axel's tongue felt like and he chastised himself for it. He was only away for a week! How could he forget something so important? They broke for air and the redhead was all smiles as he rubbed their noses together.

"I've missed you," he said. Roxas smiled.

"Well I'm here now. Most of the way at least."

"Most of the way is better than where we were three minutes ago."

"I agree," the blonde said and they shared a light breathless laugh together.

"Did you want to go for 'all the way here' or is most of the way okay?" Axel asked. Roxas chewed on his lip a bit again as his cheeks pinkened.

"I was actually thinking we could try something different."

"…Is this going back to where I thi—"

"No. Not that," he assured and backed away enough to take the redhead's hand and pull him to the bed. He nudged Axel along until he climbed in. Roxas followed after him quickly and hovered over the redhead for a minute before leaning forward and stealing a few quick kisses and moving down. Axel craned his neck and allowed the blonde access to the soft skin to be found there. Roxas nipped the tugged at the Carrier's pulse, sending a bout of fluttering tingles down his spine. Axel's eyes slips closed as he reveled in the attention and slid his hands under the blonde's shirt to feel his skin, his warmth. The blonde reciprocated and started inching the redhead's shirt up his torso. Axel was quick to remove it and prop himself up on his elbows watching Roxas move down his body.

His Charge had never paid so much attention to him like this before and Axel was a bit suspicious but didn't want to jinx it. Roxas' hands did most of the talking as they danced along the Carrier's skin, feeling every divot of muscle and every goosebump on his stomach. He looked up at the redhead's face with his lips pressed against his chest, Axel looked unsure but his eyes were glossed over so that had to be a good sign. Roxas clamped onto a nipple and gave it nibble, eliciting a light hiss from Axel as he sucked in a breath through his teeth. The blonde scooted backwards, leaving a trail of light kisses down the line of the redhead's body, his hands finding the tops of Axel's shorts. He positioned himself in between the Carrier's legs and unfastened the clothing quickly.

Axel sucked in another breath when the blonde freed his hardened member from his shorts. Roxas's cheeks darkened again feeling a little unsure of how to start or what to expect. He watched Axel's face as he gave him a few firm strokes. The redhead sighed at the sensations and closed his eyes; Roxas couldn't help but smile a bit. While the redhead was distracted he took a tentative lick, just to make sure he wasn't going to be burned or something equally as terrible. Axel's attention was snapped back to him instantly and the blonde blushed wildly but continued. The redhead gripped the comforter and curled his toes as his Charge wrapped his tongue around him and pulled at the excess skin a bit with his lips.

Roxas teased him relentlessly for what seemed like an eternity before timidly pulling the sensitive head into his mouth. The blonde's cheeks never stopped burning as he began to suck, pulling as much of Axel as he could into himself and attempting to imitate what he knew he liked done to himself. The redhead, in his infinite amount of inexperience, was satisfied with whatever his Charge was willing to give him. Every lick, every suck, and every occasional stroke was pleasurable for him. Roxas could've been doing everything wrong for all he knew. The blonde was receptive though and took notice to the redhead's thighs twitching and the upswing in his breathing patterns, not to mention the soft groans he would be rewarded with every now and again. Axel could feel himself getting close and as much as he wanted to finish with Roxas' lips around him, he knew he couldn't. There was still work to be done, after all.

When the blonde took a few seconds to catch his breath, the redhead quickly wrapped a hand around the one on his weeping arousal and pulled the rest of the body attached to it upwards. Roxas blinked confusedly for a moment but wasn't given enough time to comprehend before Axel's lips were on his and his tongue was pushed into his mouth. The redhead's free hand cupped his cheek and held him in place as the other urged the blonde's hand to move with his and stroke him. It didn't take long for the new sensations to build and Axel choked back his groan into Roxas' lips as he climaxed, sending a cascade of white across his stomach. They waited for the twitching against their fingers to calm before letting go and Axel settled back, pulling away from his Charge's lips and locking eyes with him.

"Sorry… I need that," he said breathlessly. Roxas raised a brow before he registered what the redhead was talking about and looked at his stomach.

"Holy shit, Axel," he said, gaping at the large amount of ejaculate the redhead had produced. The Carrier looked at it and shrugged.

"What can I say? It's what I'm good at," he said sheepishly, his cheeks pinkening. Roxas snorted a bit. Axel scooted himself backwards until he could reach over the side of his bed and open his side table and dig out a sample canister. He picked out the plastic cup from inside and scraped himself clean using the rim and capped it again before putting it in the canister and pressing the button, sealing it all in place. Once he was finished he flipped himself over onto his stomach and crawled back to Roxas, who was waiting patiently. He took the blonde's cheeks in his hands and lay a spattering of kisses all over his face. Roxas sputtered and playfully pushed him away and the redhead laughed before releasing him and using the backs of his fingers to stroke his cheek gently.

Axel leaned forward again and captured his Charge's lips with his again tenderly, giving his silent thanks. He wasn't nearly satisfied yet though and their kiss was swift to deepen as he pushed forward, urging the blonde to lie back. His hand dove under Roxas' shirt again, feeling his lithe body twist and tighten under his touch. The hand traveled southward and he felt the blonde through his jeans. He froze and pulled back from their kiss. Roxas blushed and looked to the side. Axel furrowed his brows.

"You're not enjoying this any?" the Carrier asked carefully, feeling how unresponsive the blonde was in his pants. Roxas sighed and gave him a dejected sideways glance.

"It's not you it's…maybe I should go to therapy…" he trailed quietly. Axel moved his hands away and shifted around to push himself back into his shorts and fasten them back into place. He resituated himself over the blonde again and Roxas wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck loosely. Axel's hands went to cradle his face and pet his cheeks with his thumbs, his brows knitting together worriedly.

"Seriously?" he asked. Roxas nodded a bit. The redhead laid a firm but brief kiss on his lips and pressed their foreheads together, looking into the cerulean orbs with heavy concern.

"I'm sorry," the blonde said, barely above a whisper.

"Don't be. I understand. We can call Ansem today and get everything sorted out."

"I hope," the blonde said.

* * *

As luck would have it, Ansem wasn't answering his home line or his office line. After an hour of trying, Axel threw his hands up in the air and decided to try Leon or Cloud and see if they knew where he was since they had apparently spent some time together lately. When the redhead entered their lab, only Cloud and Naomi were inside with a pile of deflated air mattresses. Cloud had his eyes to the Extractor while Naomi was at the Pre-Gestational Prep Center, both working away diligently. Leon wasn't anywhere in sight but the large panels of fabric were still up, blocking the Care Center from view and it was bit of a concern. Cloud looked to him when he entered.

"What?" the taller blonde asked automatically, already losing his patience. Axel raised a brow.

"Do you know where I can find Ansem?" the redhead asked. Cloud shook his head.

"No. Leave."

"What's got your panties in a twist?"

"Cranky. Leave."

"…Fine, asshole. God," the redhead sighed and pushed through the doors again. Cloud went back to his work without another word. When he got back to his own lab, Roxas was standing at the Catalogue terminal looking over a tablet. He glanced at the redhead before speaking.

"I wonder if Ansem realizes we have Xemnas' tablet. Do you think it'd be weird to send him another report from it or would we get in trouble?" the blonde asked.

"I think it would send a red flag, yes. I'm not entirely sure what the repercussions of having the thing would be. I don't really want to risk it though, honestly. I don't want to be separated again," Axel said. Roxas nodded in agreement and went to put Xemnas' tablet back in the desk drawer. "I don't know of anyone personally who would come see you though otherwise I would go out and find them myself. Did you want to find someone here? Or did you want a professional?"

"I have no idea. I can't even begin to understand what the issue is outside of general trauma. It's not like I cared that the guy was raped or anything, as awful as it may sound and it wasn't like _I_ was raped. It was the… everything else I had a problem with," the blonde sighed and squeezed his eyes closed as the memories threatened to come back but he managed to keep them at bay. He ran a hand through his hair a few times and furrowed his brows, pulling a piece down and looking at it. "Damn, I really do need a haircut, don't I?"

"That was an awesome bit of ADD there, Roxas," Axel chuckled. His Charge shrugged and let the strands fall back into place again. They both sighed and shared a brief silence.

"Where would I go for a one, anyway? Is there even a barbershop in the city?"

"There is and like fifteen salons if you want to get your nails done too. Or, you could go to Tifa, she's a bit closer. She does nearly every Charge's hair when she has the time. I'm sure she has a few minutes if you want to give her a call."

"She took the time to learn how to do hair?" Roxas asked, raising a brow.

"She has a whole story for why she did and she _loves_ to tell it. I'm sure she'd enlighten you. She's an awesome listener too and maybe she can help you with everything else while we look for a professional for you," Axel offered, giving his Charge hopeful eyes.

"I'm not so sure I want someone else within the facility to know about all my…issues like that. It's not exactly a confidence booster," Roxas huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. The Carrier crossed the lab and went to him, wrapping his arms around him and planting a kiss in his hair. The blonde relaxed against him and hugged him back, his mind full of contemplation and worry. He _really_ didn't want to have erectile dysfunction in his twenties, especially since his twenties were going to last for an extremely long time. Axel chuckled a bit, smashing his worrisome thoughts.

"Sorry, I just had the mental image of you sitting around under a giant hood dryer with your hair wrapped up and gossiping to a bunch of old women about your woes."

"Oh. How _wonderful_ ," the blonde spat, forcing the redhead to laugh outright.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

"I'm sorry, Cloud. My hands are tied," Ansem said sadly as they stood together in front of the Diagnostic Care Center where Leon was floating in the sterile liquid, healing. The Technician was supposed to be off talking to the Committee and fighting for the Carrier's life. He had already performed Leon's surgery and everything had gone smoothly, so why then, did he give up so quickly and come to deliver the bad news? Cloud wasn't sure of the reasoning but he sure as hell wasn't going to let Ansem waltz in and pull the plug.

"Your hands are tied? How exactly did that happen so quickly? It's an open and shut case! Xemnas was in the wrong and Leon couldn't control himself!" the blonde protested furiously. "You assured me this wouldn't happen!"

"Calm down. I still have his original blueprints and we can do just as Tifa and Zack are and try to create another Carrier for you if you wish to remain a Charge," the Technician said coolly.

"That's not what my problem is! You can't just give up! Why did you even bother doing the surgery if you knew you were just going to run away with your tail between your legs?"

"I didn't run away. The Committee apparently frowns upon murdering one of their eldest and most influential members, is all. It didn't matter to them what Xemnas was doing; I'm sure he padded their pockets nicely so they would turn the other cheek when it came to his experiments," Ansem said dryly. He made to approach the Care Center's terminal but Cloud ran in front of him and blocked his path.

"You're not touching this thing. Not while I'm here," the blonde said and glowered at the man. Ansem sighed.

"You're making this harder than it should be, Cloud. He isn't going to feel any pain, if that's the problem."

"You don't think killing him is my problem? The fact that I spent almost a century and a half by his side isn't a fucking factor for you? That he suffered through six years of my painful bullshit isn't important? Did you just _choose_ to not notice all of those scars on him? Did you want to see mine? Will that make you realize how much this fucking hurts?" Cloud screamed directly into the man's face. Ansem didn't react; he simply stared back blankly like a vacant statue.

"If you don't move out of my way, I will have to remove you forcefully and you won't be able to say your goodbyes," Ansem said calmly. Cloud's eyes narrowed angrily on him before he put his hands on the man's chest and shoved him backwards a few feet. Ansem stumbled back and gave the Charge just enough time to skitter off to the side of the terminal where there was a small storage cabinet. Inside was a pistol and he was quick to train it on Ansem's face. The Technician froze, hands in up in a defensive position.

"You fucking move and I will blow you face off. Don't test me. You know my history," Cloud said, clicking the safety off just to show how serious he was. Ansem smirked.

"I wonder where Leon got his new behaviors from. Was it you? It probably was. You were always so violent yet you were just following orders, weren't you? Is that how you convince yourself that everything you did was alright? That you're innocent? Xemnas and I had been friends for over two thousand years, far longer than you and Leon even existed, and yet you want me to believe that because of some outside influence, that killing my colleague is okay? Just like all your sins are forgiven? It's always someone else's fault, isn't it? No one ever wants to take responsibility for anything anymore," Ansem said. Cloud flexed his jaw, grinding his teeth together, his hand unwavering.

"I can take responsibility for what I did because I did it all willingly. You're right; I could've resisted and stood up for what I thought was right. I might have been able to sleep more because of it but that doesn't validate what Xemnas did to Leon. There was no right with the situation other than maybe preventing it in the first place. What's done is done, but you can't expect me to believe that you think Leon is guilty of something when he wasn't even in his right mind to begin with. Xemnas' reports even said that he was reacting to the drugs. It wasn't his fault, but if you choose to keep me from doing what I think is right now, I can't guarantee what wrongs I'll commit."

"It still doesn't erase what happened," Ansem said and stalked towards the Charge, attempting to call his bluff.

"And it never will," Cloud said simply and pulled the trigger.

* * *

Cloud's eyes flew open with a light gasp, his eyes focusing on the lab ceiling while a few tears slid free from his lids and down the sides of his face. He sat up, causing his air mattress to squeak against the floor something terrible and he winced at the sound. He wiped at his face with the backs of his hands quickly even though he didn't have anyone around him to feel embarrassed by. His makeshift bed was set up behind the black panels of fabric and next to the Diagnostic Care Center where his lover floated safely in his glass bubble. He had been having the same series of dreams for the last few nights ever since Leon had his surgery and they all ended relatively the same way. Either Leon would die or Ansem would die. Very rarely did Cloud wake up with tears though.

There wasn't really a storage cabinet with gun inside next to the terminal, but Cloud seriously considered getting one. He didn't know what he would do if Ansem really did decide to give up and let the Committee euthanize Leon. Cloud would probably do what he did in his dream and kill the man but he couldn't do much to save Leon after that so they'd both end up dying anyway. The blonde heaved a heavy sigh and ran his fingers through his hair, wishing the Technician would keep him up to date on the negotiations but they would have their answer soon enough, he was sure.

He just needed to be patient.

* * *

"So, once upon a time, there was this female Carrier that decided her Charge was going to be this really hot guy with crazy black hair," Tifa giggled, using a spray bottle to wet Roxas' hair and comb it flat so it was more manageable. "And this really hot guy with this crazy black hair was a raging alcoholic. He owned a little restaurant with it's own bar and he would drown the hours away with his customers. He was everyone's friend and when the female Carrier decided to make contact with him, she opened a little salon next door to his restaurant. Naturally, being as nice and as sociable as he was, he came over to see if the new lady with the big boobs wanted a drink.

Now, being a Carrier, she couldn't actually drink without getting horribly sick. She went with him anyway and she ended up getting horrendously drunk and ill. The really hot guy with the crazy black hair felt so guilty that he brought her to his home so she could barf on his carpet in peace. She ended up passing out in his bed, and, being the gentleman that he was, he took the couch. She left quickly when she woke up though; feeling embarrassed with her behavior and managed to sneak away while he was still asleep."

"Are you telling this story _again_?" Zack scoffed when he came back into the lab with a cup of coffee. Tifa grinned at him, combing Roxas' hair down and taking up her scissors.

"Of course, it's my favorite," she said wistfully and blew him a kiss. He smirked and set the cup aside when he reached their Gestational Terminal, getting to work on checking the progress scans of their Carrier. Tifa turned back to Roxas. "Anyway, they didn't talk very much for the next few days because neither of them knew what to say but what the really hot guy with the crazy black hair _did_ do was send all of his customers her way for a cut and style whenever they needed it. The female Carrier noticed an influx in the amount of drunken patrons she was getting and thought the gesture was nice but her butt was getting sore from being slapped so much by all the dirty old men. So she decided that she would take a lunch break one day and went to his restaurant to confront him.

What she found made her very sad because the really hot guy with the crazy black hair was passed out on the floor behind the bar at two in the afternoon. She was immediately concerned because, well, this was supposed to be her Charge after all, and she went around the bar and tried to wake him up. When he didn't, she called an ambulance and he was whisked away. She decided to close her shop and follow after him. He was out for several hours and she waited and waited in the lobby for him and when the nurse came to get her, she was addressed as 'Mrs. Fair.'

Now, the female Carrier was a little confused but she went to see her Charge anyway and he was all smiles when she came in, even though he looked like he had been hit by a bus. She didn't really care though because he was still hot, and when she asked him why the hell she was called in as 'Mrs. Fair' he said 'because I've never seen a girl puke as gracefully as you before and I thought we could get married and have a bunch of kids that would puke just as well.' It was so charming," Tifa said and giggled, clipping away at the unruly strands of flaxen hair. Roxas laughed.

"Wow, Zack," he said. The man in question simply scoffed.

"It worked, didn't it?" he asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Sort of. We aren't married but we have a few kids and I'm sure they barf just as well as I do," Tifa said. "Especially the ones with four legs and fur, those ones barf pretty well."

"You don't drink anymore, I take it?" the blonde asked. Zack shrugged.

"I do if I have a reason to. My downfall was supposed to happen in my mid thirties and I bet you can guess what it was," he said.

"Cirrhosis?" Roxas asked.

"You got it. I keep all that in the back of my mind just so I don't go overboard. Can't be a widower, now can I?" he chuckled and took a swig of his coffee.

"You do that, I'll wake you up and kill you again myself," Tifa huffed. Roxas smirked to himself. "So that's why I know how to cut hair. I like it and it's a nice hobby so I don't mind doing it for everyone. Especially the girls. It's always fun to gossip with them. I don't know what it is about women and liking to talk about their lives whenever they have someone working on their hair but I hear a lot of weird stuff."

"Oh yeah?" Roxas asked. Tifa nodded, walking to his side and combing his sideburns down before pulling them away from his face and clipping them.

"Like, I heard through various stories that Karen, one of the Carriers for the Ocelot, likes to go out into the city wearing her Charge's clothes and see how many humans she can get to hit on her before telling them what she is. She's apparently gone out with her Charge and slept with them before, isn't that strange?" the woman asked.

"Is her Charge a woman?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah. Karen and Melody."

"Well so long as neither of them gets pregnant and it doesn't bother them if the other sleeps with someone else, I guess there isn't much of an issue outside of maybe a disease. I wouldn't do it though."

"It's illegal though. Carriers aren't allowed to have sex with humans outside of their Charges."

"True, but if everyone is willing, who would say anything?"

"I suppose…" Tifa sighed, her brows pushing together in thought.

"You mean you don't want to go into town and have an orgy with a bunch of people you barely know?" Zack asked with a sarcastic inflection. Tifa scowled.

"No, Zack. I don't," she huffed. The man chuckled.

"Okay good. Just checking."

"How is he?" she asked, combing Roxas' hair back into its normal haphazard shape to see how she was doing. Zack clicked through a series of screens on the Gestational Terminal.

"He's coming along faster than we originally thought, actually," the raven haired Charge said.

"Oh? When should we be expecting him?"

"Within the next six months probably," Zack said. Tifa gasped excitedly and tossed her scissors aside to scamper over to her Charge and hug him abruptly. Zack grunted as he was squashed into her chest but recovered quickly and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into his lap for a heavy kiss. Roxas quirked a brow but didn't disrupt the moment. He sat patiently, twiddling his thumbs, and after a few minutes of celebration, Tifa parted ways and came back to him, her face nearly split in half with her grin.

"How long has he been maturing?" the blonde asked, casting a look to the Carrier in the tank. He looked young in the face but Roxas couldn't tell how tall or how big he was very accurately.

"Twenty-one years," Tifa said, taking up her scissors again with her spray bottle and rewetting what had dried. "He was estimated to be coming out sometime early next year but I'll settle for sooner. I'm perfectly okay with that. Hopefully Yuffie will be compatible with him so no one has to go through any additional stress and we can get serious again. I want another litter," she said. Zach chuckled again.

"When _don't_ you want one?" he asked, standing from his seat and heading over to get to work at the Extractor. Tifa pouted.

"Shut up," she spat grumpily, a light blush coming to her cheeks. Roxas smiled a bit at their banter while the back of his mind was nagging him with a series of questions. He wasn't sure what was okay to ask and what wasn't but there was still so much he still didn't know about the pair and they were both incredibly nice and forthcoming. Tifa didn't miss his thoughtful expression. "Something on your mind, Roxas?" she asked kindly, resuming her work on his hair. He shrugged.

"I have a lot on my mind but I'm not sure what's okay to talk about and what isn't."

"Ah. Confidentiality. My bane," she said and giggled.

"It's not so much that, but I don't want to be rude."

"Kid, it's really hard to insult us. Say whatever you want," Zack piped from across the lab. Tifa nodded in agreement. Roxas chewed on his lip a bit.

"Well…Axel never had a reason to explain how the whole female Carrier thing works. Like, I understand pregnancy and breast feeding - don't ask how that came up - but I mean…with guys they constantly produce sperm and things to give as far as genetic material goes but don't you have a finite amount of eggs? Do you guys have to wait until you ovulate to get one or do you somehow suck them out of you?" he asked hesitantly, eyeing Tifa's face out the corner of his peripheral vision. She smiled.

"Most of my genetic material comes from my blood," she said, stopping cutting to put her wrist in front of his face. Roxas had never paid attention to the various blood vessels under the skin of Carriers before but now that he was forced to notice, there were two very distinct veins to be seen. "The darker one is my Implant, my human blood, and it's closer to the surface and much easier to obtain samples from. But the lighter one is only lighter because it's deeper. In reality my Totem blood vessels are nearly black but it makes it easier to see them even if they are so much farther in. I donate blood on a regular basis just like someone would at a blood bank and we work off of that. Now," she said and resumed cutting, "obviously I have womanly bits and I do have menstrual cycles just like all the girls and we do harvest my eggs every time I ovulate. In addition to my ovaries, I have a very small synthetic organ that's attached to them almost like a cyst and it's connected to my Link. When the Link goes about separating my two types of blood when it's created, it pulls some of the DNA and proteins out of it and creates an egg for my Totem and an egg for my Implant. One type in either ovary, so when I do ovulate, I give two eggs at a time. Make sense?"

"Yes. Does the rate of success depend on what kind of sample you give?"

"It does. The Link goes about keeping a certain number of eggs in the ovaries all the time so in theory I could have Zack stick me with a giant needle every other day and suck a bunch of them out but I don't like needles very much. Some females do that though. But we work almost constantly and chew through probably ten times the amount of samples in blood so our success rate is just as high as anyone else's. If we want to cut back sometimes I bite the bullet so to speak and let him poke me so we can get a few eggs. It makes the beginning process much easier because his sperm are naturally attracted to eggs and they fight over them like a bunch of savages but they can just as easily die in the Gestational Terminal and the gestational tanks like anything else.

Natural eggs are far more delicate than the synthetic ones you and Axel use and they're extremely susceptible to outside influences and are almost like tissues in that sense. Just use them and toss them. So the amount of eggs we would need to take from me in order to be completely safe and assure success just isn't worth the pain for me so we settle for the blood and sperm in the synthetic eggs. There's a higher volume of material to work with and it hurts way less for me. I envy you guys. Giving samples is always a happy experience for you," she said and giggled. Zack snorted.

"But then I have to deal with you doing gross woman things and I have to get my hands dirty trying to dig eggs out of you. I pay my dues," he said. Roxas' stomach twisted at the visual. Tifa shrugged.

"I _guess_. I suppose the tradeoff is that I get to have the babies. I like babies," she said.

"Well if you need a human baby to start everything off why do you guys need the gestational tanks? Couldn't you just… have a baby?" Roxas asked.

"Having children is very taxing. If I had had as many children as we've needed or have had as many failed pregnancies as we've had samples fail, I would've probably died a long time ago. I'm over two hundred years old, Roxas. I can't be pregnant all the time. If we get the same results through artificial means, and can assure genetic diversity that way, then it's much safer for everyone involved and it equals a successful program with a long life. Just because we don't age, doesn't mean we can't hurt our insides. Zack had to get a whole mess of work done when he crossed over to our plane because of the damage he had caused to his liver before I made contact with him. He's fine now but if he ever decided to go out and drink like he used to, he'd die just like everyone else. Same thing if anyone decided to take up smoking. Now, if we ever get to the point where we want our own children, I'd be happy to have them."

"Damn straight!" Zack agreed. "Make me some kids, get a house, move out of this boring ass place and take a day off. That's my 'to do' list for my life."

"But don't you have kittens like you have natural babies? Doesn't that do just as much damage?" Roxas asked.

"Well here's a good scenario," Tifa giggled, moving in front of him and pulling out the sides of his hair, checking the evenness. "Vaginas are made to stretch, yes?"

"…Yeah," Roxas agreed carefully, unsure of where the conversation was going.

"Now, human babies usually weigh six to eight pounds each and can be about the size of a watermelon. Imagine giving birth to that and then imagine giving birth to a two or three pound cub that comes out in its own little slippery sac. Which sounds easier?" she asked with a smile. Roxas paled a little bit.

"Cubs would be easier I suppose."

"Right. Though on the flipside I have two or three cubs at a time. Larger Totem species, like let's say an _elephant_ , have to do all their offspring by artificial means for obvious size reasons. Even if I do damage myself in some way with my cubs, the Technicians and the Committee are far more willing to help me out because the idea of the project is to make cubs and it's understandable. If I went about my time squirting out human babies all day, then there'd be no point. Right?"

"Right," Roxas agreed. Zack decided to come over and loom over them both, checking Tifa's work and making sure she wasn't getting too distracted by talking and hacking the young Charge's ears off.

"Besides, having cubs means everything goes back into place easier and it all stays nice and tight for _me_ ," Zack said with a sly grin. Tifa slapped him on the arm, her cheeks turning crimson.

"That's enough of that thank you," she huffed, pushing him away. He laughed. Roxas snickered and chewed on his lip to keep the grin at bay. "Don't encourage him, please," she pleaded, casting a dejected gaze to the blonde.

"Sorry," Roxas said through a light laugh. "Aren't you guys worried about having human children though? Society doesn't exactly like Carriers to begin with; doesn't that translate into their human children too?" Tifa sent Zack one last glare before returning to the blonde.

"Human children are human children. They don't legally lose any rights if they're born here and they can go to school and do everything else they're supposed to even if one of the parents is a Carrier. I can't say for certain that they wouldn't be teased by their peers, and it is a concern, but I doubt it would be any different if the child was a homosexual or something like that. Society will be whatever it wants to be and maybe by the time we can have our own, they'll be more accepting. Plus, aside from my teeth, and where we live, there isn't a whole bunch of outward indications saying 'hey! Mom's a Carrier! Beware!' so we could just buy me a nice pair of pants and a few other shirts to wear and I'll blend right in. Except for having to change every now and again but we can hide that too if needed."

"Plus, you're totally going to be one of those moms all the kids want to sleep with," Zack piped from across the room. Tifa huffed again and took up a spare comb and flung it across the room at him, hitting him the back. Zack chuckled. "Our son's friends are going to be like 'dude, your mom is _so_ hot, I totally want to bang her,' and then I'd show up and be like 'kid, don't I know it! Hands off though, otherwise I'd have to call your ugly ass mom and I don't want to do that.'"

"Oh my god Zack! Stop!" Tifa cried, hiding her face in her hands. Roxas laughed.

"I would call you a Cougar at that point but then I'd be politically incorrect," Zack added. Tifa let out a frustrated groan and set the scissors aside and stomped over to her Charge and proceeded to beat on him. Zack laughed and backed away from her and smacked at her hands as they tried to reach him. They flailed at each other harmlessly for a minute before the Charge caught one of her wrists and tugged her inward and hugged her firmly to his chest, further squashing the rest of her resistance. Tifa sighed, defeated, and hugged him. Zack leaned down and whispered a series of sweet nothings into her ear before sending her on her way with a pat on her rump. Tifa gave a defiant snort in his direction, showing she was unfazed by his advances but Roxas caught the small smile that played on her lips.

* * *

"Much less furry," Axel said with a smile when Roxas reappeared in the lab. "It took you forever though. Was there some sort of extra hair hiding somewhere that I've never seen before? Or were you visiting?"

"I was in the chair the entire time but Zack was distracting Tifa a bunch so it took longer than what I would've liked. It was all very entertaining though," the blonde said and ran his fingers through his hair a few times. "Are you ready?" he asked, heading across the lab to pick up his tablet and stylus. Axel nodded and stood. They headed out of the lab and down the hall towards the pool area. As they were passing by Leon and Cloud's lab, Demyx stumbled out of the doors backwards, nearly colliding into them. Cloud was after him and the sandy blonde squealed and darted away from him. The taller blonde was livid and glared after the Carrier as Demyx skittered down the hall and around the corner. Cloud turned his fiery gaze to the stunned pair.

"What?" he spat, glowering at them for simply being near him. Roxas raised a brow and Axel raised his hands defensively.

"Nothing, just passing by," the redhead said. Cloud looked them both over before stomping away and back into his lab. Axel looked to Roxas and the blonde shrugged. They continued down the hall and found Demyx staring like a deer in headlights ahead of himself, his back against the wall.

"What happened?" Roxas asked and the sandy blonde looked to him.

"I um… dropped by to see what was up and got a little too close to the Care Center and saw Leon inside. Cloud got really pissed and chased me out," Demyx said quietly.

"Well that would explain where he's been," Axel said. "Did you get a good look? What's wrong?"

"All I saw was a bald head, a lot of bruising, and a big ass bandage. He didn't look too good."

"I wonder what happened," Roxas said.

"Bruising and bandages where?" Axel asked.

"All of it was on his head," Demyx said.

"Wow, maybe someone tried to bash his head in or something. Could be why Cloud's so grumpy," Axel said. The three of them started walking together, heading towards the pool again. Demyx snorted.

"That, or he hasn't gotten laid in a while. That always makes me grumpy," the sandy blonde said.

"That, or he's just worried. You ever think he might have feelings?" Roxas asked.

"Or both," Axel added. Roxas nodded in agreement. Demyx shrugged. Zexion was already outside, making idle chit chat with Sora. Riku was off in the distance, already in his Primal form, lounging. Demyx and Axel broke off from Roxas to head behind the rocks and change while the blonde headed for his brother and Zexion.

"Hey Roxas," Sora greeted. Zexion waved quietly, clicking his watch to silence when it started to beep. Roxas did the same.

"Hi," the blonde said and flicked through his tablet, checking to see what he was supposed to be doing.

"I was just telling Zexion about our trip, did you decide what you want to do yet?" the brunette asked. Roxas shook his head.

"I haven't even talked to Axel about it yet. Other stuff came up that needs to be handled first."

"Okay. Let me know though so I can put in a call and see if it's alright."

"I will. You could always ask first and get a quicker answer. It wouldn't matter what my decision was if they said 'no' anyway, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Sora said. The trio shared a comfortable silence, each of them flicking through their tablets for various reasons. There was a splash that pulled their attention away and Roxas sighed as Axel had immersed himself in the pool completely, save for his face and ears. Demyx came around from behind the wall of rocks and let out a loud yip that sounded far too much like a 'meow' for it to be anything threatening and Sora snickered. Zexion answered the call by leaving the siblings and crossing the grass towards him. "Demyx sounds so… delicate," the brunette remarked once Zexion was away. Roxas shrugged and headed over towards the pool. Sora went back to Riku.

"You're a dick," the blonde huffed, looking down at the water as Axel paddled about, blatantly ignoring his displeasure. Roxas set his tablet and earpiece aside and began to strip down to his shorts. He tested the water with a foot before lowering himself in gently. He shivered. Axel paddled past like a piece of orange driftwood and the blonde attempted to catch his tail but it slipped out of his fingers. The cat did a U-turn and came back, idling around as Roxas gabbed hold the tail firmly. Axel pulled him along like a raft for a bit before his legs started to burn from the effort and he headed to the shallow end. The Carrier plopped onto the slope with a grunt and Roxas followed after him but went to retrieve his earpiece first. He connected into the cat's Link and took a seat on his ribcage.

" _You're fat; I don't want to pull you around anymore. My legs hurt_ ," Axel whined.

"You're the one who got in the pool before we could get anything done. I assumed it was playtime," Roxas said.

" _Yeah well…it was hot._ "

"It's not that hot. Quit whining."

" _It's not hot because we went for a swim. See the logic?_ "

"Yes, yes," Roxas sighed. He removed the earpiece from his ear and set it on the cat's head since it was the only dry thing around and went to fetch his tablet. He came back and sat on the edge of the pool. Axel scooted towards him and the blonde took the earpiece again.

" _Do you need to stick your fingers in my ass again?_ "

"Thankfully, no. Just general feely stuff."

" _Ah. Very scientific._ "

"I thought so too."

* * *

"So how's it going? Still weirded out?" Roxas asked, nudging Sora lightly with his elbow. The pair sat in the grass with Zexion, who was listening but focusing on his tablet, while the trio of Carriers chased each other around in the grass a short distance away. The brunette sighed.

"I don't know. He doesn't do anything different but ever since he told me, it's been awkward. I've been trying to cut back on the sex though," Sora said. Zexion quirked a brow behind his swatch of hair so it went unseen but he didn't say anything.

"Trying to?"

"Yeah…" the brunette trailed and blushed a bit. "I give in a lot. I can't help it."

"Well so long as you're fine with it, it doesn't really matter. You came to the conclusion on your own that you needed to cut back, I couldn't care less."

"Has he considered testing the pills for us anymore?" Zexion interjected.

"He hasn't said anything, no. I want to though," Sora said.

"Perhaps he's worried about the risks. Demyx's Totem sperm aren't doing all that well right now but I don't know whether it's because of our drugs or Xemnas' drugs. There is improvement though so it's quite possible he'll recover fully. I would still like a clean test though, if for no other reason than to ease my curious mind."

"I'll see what I can do, but I have a hard time talking to him lately. I've actually been studying more just so I can avoid it," Sora admitted. Roxas raised a brow.

"Really? It scares you that much?" the blonde asked.

"I don't think I'm scared so much as I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say to him anymore, I'm afraid I'll do something that hurts his feelings or make him think I don't care."

"Do you care?"

"I care, but it's not the same as love. I don't… I don't know," the brunette said and pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them.

"Give it some time. You can't expect the answers to come flying out of nowhere and hit you in the face."

* * *

"Why don't we ever go into your room?" Sora asked, peering up into Riku's face. The snowy Carrier shrugged.

"Because you've never asked. I doubt you'd like it though," he answered, leaning down to capture the brunette's lips again but Sora wormed away from him. Riku furrowed his brows, a bit confused, as his Charge wiggled out from underneath him and sat up.

"Can I see?" Sora asked, hoping to distract Riku from his advances.

"Right now?"

"Yeah. Why not? You hardly ever sleep with me in my bed and I was wondering what's so special with yours that you run away from me."

"I don't run away from you, I just prefer my bed to yours."

"Show me why," the brunette insisted. Riku sighed and pushed himself off the bed and looked around for his shirt.

"If you want, we can do that," he said. Sora had been acting very strange ever since he had blurted out his feelings to him. He wasn't as willing in their bedroom activities as he once was and he was reading a great deal more rather than sitting around in the background and making his company enjoyable. Riku was horribly confused and sincerely hoped he hadn't made some awful mistake with his confession. The last thing he needed was for Sora to push him away and become distant. He didn't know what he would do if he lost another Charge.

Sora went about pulling his shirt over his head again and they exited the brunette's bedroom together and headed down the hall quietly. It was late and most everyone else had turned in for the evening. The normal routine for the pair was to finish work, eat some dinner, spend some time outside, come in, get ready for bed, possibly have some sex, and then they would usually go their separate ways and sleep in separate beds. Riku had a very legitimate reason for doing so but he knew Sora wouldn't understand with just an explanation. He unlocked his door and ushered the brunette in.

"Holy fuck!" Sora cried and wrapped his arms around himself, shivering when he was blasted with a sudden wave of cold air. Riku's room was mostly white with a bit of icy blue in the bedding which made the atmosphere just that much colder. There was frost licking at the edges of the windows and the doorknobs leading into the bathroom and Catalogue terminal room.

"Your room is too hot," Riku said simply and shrugged. "I have a hard time sleeping in there because of it. You don't have to stay," he said. Sora's teeth clicked together as he looked around, taking it all in.

"Y-You s-s-sleep in here?" he chattered, looking at Riku with wide eyes.

"I do," the Carrier said. Sora looked around some more before shuffling to the bed and reached a shaking hand out to lift the covers and test their thickness. It wasn't any thicker than his own bedding and he didn't know if that was a good or a bad sign. "What are you doing? We don't have to stay in here, Sora," Riku said.

"B-b-but I w-want to s-s-sleep next to you," the brunette shivered and pushed himself under the blankets and curled up into a ball to conserve his warmth. Riku watched him confusedly for a few minutes.

"If you're going to make a habit of this we need to get you some thicker pajamas," he said and flicked the light off before crawling in the bed as well. Immediately Sora was stuck to his side absorbing his warmth and he chuckled, turning over and hugging his Charge close. After a few minutes of radiant heating, the brunette's shivers calmed some and he settled in against the Carrier comfortably. None of Riku's previous Charges could stand the cold before and the scene was enough to reaffirm why he chose Sora and let the brunette have his heart even if he didn't reciprocate the feelings. The compassion and dedication was enough for now.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

"Papa, you need to eat," Naomi urged and held out a plate to Cloud. The Charge eyed the sandwich and the salad like they were the scum of the earth. He wasn't hungry; he was incredibly tired, and horribly lonely. Leon was due to come out of his sterile bubble in less than a week but after two weeks of waiting around already, Cloud was at the end of his rope and wanted him out _now_. He had effectively alienated himself from most everyone he knew because he knew he was being unpleasant but it had taken its toll.

Outside of Naomi and occasionally Theresa, no one really spoke to him which was just as well. He wasn't in the talkative mood and the lack of contact Ansem had kept wasn't helping his sour attitude any. He attempted to save Leon some pride by keeping everyone away and not letting them see him in his weakened state but that meant he had to bottle everything up even more. What little he could gather from the news feed said that Xemnas' colleagues were busy debating what to do with his lover _still_. Last he heard, everything was leaning in Leon's favor and the probability that he was going to be allowed to live was relatively high. Nothing was for certain though. History had told Cloud that much. So he sat. And waited. And waited. And waited.

"Thanks," he sighed, taking the plate from Naomi. She handed him a fork as well and left him to eat while she went back to the Extractor. Cloud grumpily stuffed a forkful of leaves into his mouth. He ate quietly, trying his hardest to not think about anything.

"Um…Papa?" Naomi asked after a period of silence, her eyes still glued to the microscope.

"Hm?" he grunted at her.

"…Brother's samples are degrading," she said quietly and timidly looked over her shoulder at him. Cloud sighed and rubbed his brows in frustration. Now his work was going to stall, giving him even less to do.

"Use what you can and then…go back to your own lab I guess. I don't know what to say," he said. She nodded. They hadn't had any further success with getting another zygote to take but the one that was already in the gestational tank was coming along fine despite the drug fueled sperm it came from. It was the only tiny blessing Cloud could count on for now.

Hopefully it wouldn't be his last.

* * *

Roxas stretched his arms over his head and leaned back in his chair, cracking his spine in several places. It was a satisfying feeling as he had been hunched in his spot for over an hour, studying. He and Axel's little bean was growing well and it was time to start thinking about the Implant that would take nearly seven months to put together. So until they could start working on it, Roxas needed to become more familiar with Link/Carrier Chemistry and Totem/Human Chemistry before he could even begin to understand what he was doing. The redhead was patient with him and continued working in the background, humming a tune here or there but never loud enough to be a deterrent in Roxas' concentration.

As far as everything else went, there wasn't much progress. Roxas' sleep patterns were still erratic and fraught with nightmares some of which kept him awake and some of which allowed him to fall back asleep relatively quickly. Try as they might though, little progress came of their attempts at intimacy. Not only was it emotionally defeating but Axel feared for their project. If Roxas couldn't deliver, his samples would expire and everything would grind to a halt until they could fix it. Needless to say, that was not the ideal situation. Ansem hadn't gotten back to them about finding a therapist for the blonde and things were looking grim.

What Roxas did do, was post a detailed description of what had happened on the Charge Forum. It had taken him over two hours to write four paragraphs of information because he would have to take a break at regular intervals in order to keep himself sane. He recalled as much as he could, but kept Leon's name out of it. The responses he received ranged anywhere from ' _OMG that's awful_ ' to ' _you should be happy_ ,' and they numbered in the hundreds and were teetering on thousands. The entire forum was in an uproar at the post and there were thousands of debate threads going about the subject and what should happen to the Carrier involved. Most everyone supported Leon, including Marluxia and Celia. Roxas had received a call from them telling him as much and so he could meet their new baby. Celia had had a healthy little girl. They named her Juliet after Celia's grandmother and she looked so much like Marluxia it was almost scary. A pretty baby for a pretty family. It made Roxas' chest hurt.

"I'm concerned," Axel said over his shoulder.

"What else is new?" Roxas asked blandly.

"Well that was dark."

"It's true isn't it? We haven't had any peace for almost a month. If it's not one thing, it's another."

"Yes I know, but I've been ignoring most of it for a couple weeks now but your samples aren't exactly fresh and we need to figure out a solution quickly," the redhead said. Roxas sighed and folded his arms on the table in front of him and laid his face on them.

"If I could, I would. Believe me."

"I know. I'm thinking of taking a little trip into the city to see what I can see. I want you to stay here while I go though."

"…Goody? I don't want to stay here," the blonde protested.

"I knew you'd say that but I want you to."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because," the redhead said and smirked.

"Why do I get the feeling you're hiding something from me?"

"Because I am."

"Oh. Well at least you're honest about it," the blonde huffed and picked his head up from the table. Axel chuckled and went back to his work. "Well once you're done with whatever you're doing, can we go out sometime?"

"I don't see why not. Cabin fever?"

"A little."

"I completely understand that feeling," the redhead said flatly.

* * *

Sora was looking in the gestational tank in such a way that it reminded Riku of puppies in a pet store. He had gone to one in Radiant Garden simply for the novelty value of the excursion and there was an entire wall of cages behind a large glass pane. The puppies would put their squishy front paws on the glass and stare up at him with enormous glassy eyes with their tails wagging like little propellers. If Sora had a tail and paw pads, his positioning against the gestational tank would've been almost an exact copy. They had just finished dumping an egg cell brimming with genetic material in the tank. The brunette couldn't contain himself and had spent the last half hour staring at the liquid, willing something amazing to happen.

"I wish cells weren't so damn small," Sora huffed and stepped away from the tank, leaving a couple of handprints in his wake. Riku chuckled.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could make something interesting happen. Give her a couple months and we can see everything just fine. If you're really impatient then it's just a few weeks but it'll be difficult to see her."

"Is she going to have a belly button?" the brunette blurted randomly.

"No, she won't."

"Weird."

"I suppose. It's not all that vital in this situation."

"Yeah…" Sora said and lifted his shirt a bit and poked his own belly button. "But it'd be weird to look down and have everything be completely flat," he added. Riku smiled at the simplicity of the brunette's logic and turned back to the Extractor. Sora flattened his shirt down again after a few minutes of thoughtful poking at himself and went back to the exam table where he had left his Chemistry textbook. It was times like those he wished he had half of the mental capacity of his brother. He had been staring at the book for most of the time he had spent in the new world and he still didn't remember three quarters of what he had seen. He had to constantly go back and review what he had looked at the day before and even then, he couldn't remember it all. He was a little better at Biology because there were a lot of pieces parts that were consistent throughout many species of things but if it went any deeper than general facts, he was lost.

Riku didn't mind. He had blown through hundreds of samples in their recent past and had had several dozen of them make it through to completion but they never survived long enough in the gestational tank. After a week or so of slow development and growth, the sample would die and they would have to start over again. Such was the nature of the project, but Riku was beginning to wonder if there was some other reason things weren't going so well. He had seriously considered taking Leon's pills to see what he could come up with since Cloud had managed to get a sample to survive longer than any of his had. Demyx and Zexion hadn't had any success with their tripped out specimens but they've always had problems before so it wasn't a big surprise. The fact that Axel and Roxas had managed to get one to survive was the biggest reason behind Riku's worries. Perhaps a little underlying envy was roaming around but he was curious why it was becoming so difficult for him when previously it wasn't. It used to be that years ago his samples would last in gestation for several months before something would happen. Why then, was his progress degrading? He didn't have an answer.

"Sora?" Riku asked as he pulled himself out of his thoughts.

"Yeah?" the brunette responded, happy to set the book down again. The snowy Carrier turned to him.

"Did you still want to test Leon's pills?" he asked. Sora blinked a few times.

"…Is this because we haven't been having as much sex?" he asked hesitantly. Riku had deflected this line of thinking for a while now, so it was an abrupt change. Sora suddenly felt guilty for denying him.

"No. Of course not. Why would you think that?"

"Well I mean…" the brunette trailed and rubbed the back of his neck. "We haven't been as…um, _active_ lately and I don't want you to do something you don't want to do just because you think it'll make me happy or something. I don't want to guilt you into it."

"I have my reasons. I'm a little apprehensive on what embarrassing things they might make me do but I'm becoming overly curious with their potential for our project."

"Oh. You don't need to be embarrassed about it. It's just me."

"I know. Perhaps I'm being a little egotistical and prideful. That's probably a better way to phrase it," Riku said and smirked a little in spite of himself. Sora grinned.

"I see how it is. So long as you're okay with it, I'm okay with it. When?"

"Whenever you think you're ready for it. Demyx said it lasted almost twelve hours. Will you survive?"

"Oh god…" the brunette trailed, his expression drooping. Riku chuckled.

"Perhaps a few days to prepare?"

"Yeah. That sounds like a good plan," Sora said and rubbed his brows, wondering if he was ready for it. Probably not, but he wouldn't know until he tried.

* * *

Axel didn't like being in the public eye. He rarely went out, like most Carriers, but he went out _alone_ even less. In an effort to not stand out quite as much he changed his hair color and style to something a little more neutral and cleared his tattoos away. He wore his hair flat and pulled back into a loose low ponytail. He almost had to do a double take at himself whenever he passed a reflective surface because he didn't see a streak of red anymore but a soft wheat color. It was…boring, which was fine when he needed to blend in as much as he could. He considered buying himself a normal looking outfit just to keep around but his resources were limited enough already and he had other plans for his money.

Carrier allowances weren't all that much when there was only a single participant in a project. When Axel was in Radiant Garden, he had taken the time to compare currencies and see just how little he was given. He equated a single Credit to the Japanese yen. A shirt of equal substance that cost two thousand yen cost just about two thousand Credits with some minor discrepancy. Carriers weren't given their allowances until they had a Charge. Each week the Carriers were given twenty-five hundred Credits to do with as they pleased. Most everyone saved their money because they didn't know what to do with it.

The real payoff came when projects started getting bigger because everyone's allowances were multiplied by the number of Carriers they had to their kind. For instance, Leon and Cloud's weekly allowances of twenty-five hundred Credits was multiplied by eight (for their remaining daughters plus Leon himself) so their total would be twenty thousand Credits weekly. It used to be more before the poaching, obviously, but they still manage to pay their bills and buy food for themselves. What was nice about it was that _everyone_ of their kind got twenty thousand Credits a week. So if Axel and Roxas' Carrier matures, she'll start out making five thousand Credits a week when she obtains her Charge.

The city surrounding the facilities was filled with successful Carriers, Technicians, people like Yuffie who were affiliated with the facilities and familiar with them, the human staff that worked at the facilities, shop owners, civil and service workers, and a very small population of the general public. Most everyone in the facility domes were on alright terms with Carriers and they could walk the streets in relative peace. The only exception to the unspoken rule were the people that lived there because they had no other choice; the general public. The cost of living in a facility dome was far less expensive than some of the regular community/city domes and thus the people that lived there that had nothing to do with the Carriers weren't of the highest caliber. The community parts of facility domes were often referred to as ghettos and other adjectives that equated with the word 'shithole.' Axel wouldn't care about those sorts of things if the shopping district wasn't in the middle of the city and was of easy access to everyone. He would've stuck to Yuffie's shop if he could have, but what he was looking for she couldn't provide.

"You're a Carrier, aren't you?" came a feminine voice from behind him as he was about to enter the shop he had been searching for. Axel looked over his shoulder briefly before turning around and coming face to face with a young woman who was looking at him all too closely. She wasn't very tall but the enormous black boots she wore gave her an extra few inches and she was almost eye level with his collar bones because of it. Her hair was greasy and had been dyed a rainbow of unnatural colors. Her clothes were torn in strategic spots and she had a plethora of piercings in her face and hanging off of her ears. The worst part about her though, was that she was smoking and she exhaled a hazy cloud of smog directly into his face. He tried not to breathe, but she had asked him a question. He nodded in response.

"Yes ma'am," he said politely and made to continue into the shop. She stopped him with a hand on his arm and he fought the urge to break her fingers. She tugged him back a few feet and he sighed, allowing himself to be pulled along.

"Bethany! Look what I found!" the woman called and Axel grimaced. He really didn't want any extra attention, especially not from someone who looked like she had been passed around at a local bar recently. Across the street there was a little café and there was a small group of girls that looked and dressed similarly to the one that was touching him sitting around a table outside. He didn't like this.

"Is that what I think it is?" one of them cried. Axel assumed that was 'Bethany.'

"Hell yeah!" the touchy one responded back to her. Axel dug his heels into the ground and halted their movements. The girl turned to him, cigarette dangling from between her lips with a scowl. "Come on now, I want to show you to my friends. We don't see Carriers very often," she urged and tugged his arm.

"I appreciate the novelty I must hold for you but I can't stay. I have things to do," Axel said calmly. Bethany was tired of waiting and got up from her seat and jogged to the pair and looked Axel over.

"You got a big one, Jess," she said with a grin. 'Jess' nodded a few times.

"I know and apparently he doesn't like us," she said.

"Aw, really?" Bethany asked and looked the not-redhead over again. She peered into his face like he was some sort of side show attraction and gave him a little wave. "Hi there," she cooed, as if she didn't think he would understand her or she was speaking to a small dog.

"Hello," he said flatly and attempted to tug his arm back to himself and out of Jess' grasp. The girl held steady and dug her grubby nails into his skin. He scowled.

"What's it like being a Carrier?" Bethany asked eagerly.

"It's…" he started but Jess' grip on him was distracting him. He pulled at her fingers, "please let go of me," he said, his annoyance growing.

"Are you going to run away from us?" Jess questioned, batting his hand away from her digits. Her cigarette waggled in between the fingers of her free hand dangerously close to his arm and Axel eyed it warily.

"Just let him go, whore," Bethany said and smacked her friend in the chest. Jess grimaced and rubbed her abused breast before scoffing and dropping Axel's arm. She took another long drag of her cigarette before exhaling it in no particular direction and it wafted over the not-redhead again. Axel wrinkled his nose. Bethany turned to him again with glittering eyes and she looked him over again. The Carrier was beginning to wonder what her intentions were and he took a step back from her. "So? What's it like?" she persisted.

"It's fine, I suppose," he said carefully, not understanding what she was trying to get at.

"Ever think about trying to leave? Join the people and all that? Getting married?"

"No."

"Aw, so there's no hope?"

"Hope for what, exactly?"

"Well it's always been a secret fetish of mine to be reamed by a big strong Carrier like you," she said without shame and a sly smile. Jess laughed a bit to herself and shook her head. Axel raised a brow.

"That isn't a fucking secret," Jess said and tossed her cigarette off to the side.

"That's all well and good but I'm afraid I can't help you," Axel said.

"Tch, got something against humans?" Bethany spat, her anger instantly apparent.

"Of course not but I'm afraid I'm already taken. Plus, I'm just about as gay as a butterfly in the field of rainbow daisies so I don't think we'd get very far," he said and smiled. Jess snorted loudly before doubling over in an obnoxious guffaw. Bethany's expression drooped as her mind mulled over the information. Axel thought he had made his point clear but the girl brightened considerably a split second later and latched onto his arm, rubbing her cheek against his skin.

"You're gay? That's so cute!" she squealed and the not-redhead tried to gently push her away with a scowl. It was obvious to Axel that the girls had absolutely no idea about anything having to do with Carriers and he was quickly losing his patience because of it.

"Let me go, please," he urged and took a few steps back, but she trailed after him. There was a sudden searing pain in his foot and he let out a loud yelp as he skittered to the side away from the sensation. Bethany startled and let him go and he looked at his heel and picked Jess' still smoldering cigarette butt off of his skin and flicked it away. He sighed.

"Holy shit! Are you okay?" Bethany asked worriedly. Jess rubbed her arm.

"Sorry about that," she said. Axel shook his head and rubbed his heel against the ground a few times, grinding the ash away. _That_ wasn't going to help his walk home any.

"I'm fine. I'm going to go now," he said and turned to leave.

"Wait! What are you going to do? You're not going to walk around like that are you?" Bethany asked.

"I was planning on it, yes," Axel said over his shoulder as he kept going. The girls ran back to their table at the café and gathered their things quickly and bid their goodbyes to their other friends. By the time they caught up to the Carrier again he was already inside the shop he was originally heading for.

"What are you looking for?" Jess asked as they watched him pick through a series of bottles and vials. Axel read each label carefully before setting them aside.

"It's rather personal and I would prefer not to share," he said flatly. The girls exchanged looks with one another.

"Did you need help?" Bethany asked. Axel thought for a minute.

"Do you girls have boyfriends?" he asked. They giggled to each other.

"Jess just left hers, I've been with mine for three years," Bethany answered for them. Axel raised a brow.

"And your boyfriend is alright with you going around propositioning homosexual Carriers for sex?" he asked. Jess started laughing in her obnoxious way again and Bethany let out a nervous giggle.

"That's why I said it was a 'secret' fetish," she admitted.

"Ah. I see. Well, perhaps you can help me with mine," Axel said and looked another label over. He sighed and set the bottle aside. He picked up another and looked it over before uncapping it and holding it out to Jess. "How's this?" he asked and the girl leaned forward and gave it light sniff.

"Oh wow. That's hot," she said and blushed a bit. Axel held it up to his own nose and took a whiff. He shrugged and held it out to Bethany. She sniffed it as well but she wrinkled her nose at it in disgust.

"Ew. I hate it," she said. Jess looked at her like she had sprouted four extra arms.

"Seriously?" she asked and her friend nodded.

"I can't smell it so I may need your help," Axel said and sniffed it again, getting nothing. The girls exchanged another look.

"We could get our friends and we could all help you," Bethany offered. Jess nodded before skittering out of the shop and across the street again. The Carrier shrugged.

"A wider testing pool never hurt anything, I suppose," he said and picked up another bottle.

* * *

After taking a shower to rid himself of the dirt and the smells of the city, Axel hobbled down the hall to the lab where Roxas was studying away still, looking horribly bored. The Carrier had taken a moment to return his appearance to it's normal look, effectively hiding his little adventure save for the burn on his foot. Bethany and Jess as well as all of their friends had had a grand time carting him around to a series of stores showing him a whole new side of human chemistry he never knew existed. Axel absorbed everything that they had showed him and made a few purchases along the way, but he was saving them for a specific time so all he had to show for his efforts was a sore foot for now.

"Roxa _aaaas_ ," he whined and stuck his lower lip out in a pout as he wobbled across the lab. The blonde raised a brow at the tone and looked up from his book.

"What the hell was that?" he asked.

"I hurt my foot," Axel whined and gave a fake sniffle.

"Doing what, exactly?"

"Walking, apparently. People need to put their cigarettes out properly," the redhead said in a normal tone, standing on one foot, sticking the hurt one up in the air. Roxas pushed himself out of his chair and went to him. Axel turned around and hefted himself up and sat on an exam table. The blonde pulled the foot in question upwards and sighed.

"Why did you feel the need to take a shower before you showed me this?" the Charge asked, eyeing the Carrier's damp hair. Axel shrugged.

"I probably should've come back right when it happened too, but I chose to walk on it for four hours before having to walk home on it too," he said and smiled. Roxas rubbed his brows and shook his head a bit before heading to the cabinet and pulling it open to rifle through its contents.

"And if you had gotten an infection?" he asked.

"Then…it would suck more?" the redhead guessed. Roxas sighed again and pulled out a first aid kit before closing everything up again and heading back to the exam table.

"Wear some shoes next time," he said.

"What shoes? I'm not wearing those awful boots anymore," Axel huffed and swung his leg around so it sat stretched out along the table's surface. Roxas set the kit next to his foot and opened it and picked through the tiny bottles and tubes of things before finding the antiseptic, a sterile moist towelette, and a proper bandage.

"I actually like those boots," he said as he wiped the area clean with the towelette and globbed a bit of the ointment on the burn. Axel's toes curled at the stinging sensation.

"Well if they fit you, you can have them. They're too heavy," the redhead said. Roxas pressed an adhesive bandage over the wound and smoothed it down before packing everything up. "What? No SpongeBob band-aids?" Axel asked when he curled his leg around to take a peek.

"Sorry, I'm working with what I got," Roxas said and laughed a bit.

"I miss SpongeBob. It was such a mindless show."

"I couldn't watch it, it made me twitch. Sora loved it though."

"Figures," the redhead chuckled and pushed off the table. "I miss television in general, now that I think about it."

"I didn't watch enough of it to remember it. I could always mess around on the internet and see if I can find something, I'm sure."

"T.V. still exists, just not here. You _could_ go watch it online I suppose," Axel said and made his way to the blonde's chair. Roxas ignored the occupied seat and sat on his Carrier's legs and leaned back against him. He pulled the book off of the table and held it up in front of himself so he could read. Axel wound his arms around the blonde's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder.

"I don't have time for that," Roxas said and flipped a page. Axel shrugged.

"I'm okay with that," he said and kissed the side of the blonde's neck before leaning his head against him.

* * *

Several days passed. Only a couple more before Leon was free again. Cloud had sent Naomi back to her lab and he spent his time looking over progress scans and pacing. He ate, though very little, and he slept, though even less. He hoped Leon wasn't expecting any sort of grand welcoming because the Charge decided that once he could see that his lover was healthy and walking around again he intended on taking a week long nap. Not literally, of course, but he was going to sleep as long as he could, definitely. His pacing was interrupted when a call rang through on the Catalogue terminal and he went to answer.

"About fucking time," Cloud spat when Ansem appeared on the screen in front of him.

"My, how polite," the Technician said.

"You were supposed to keep me posted on everything. I thought we had that understanding."

"My apologies. I say a lot of things I apparently don't keep up on. It is a flaw, I agree, but in my defense, I've been incredibly busy."

"Yeah? What's the word?"

"Leon is safe. He will be allowed to live and his tumor was benign."

"Oh thank god," Cloud sighed in relief and laid his forehead on the terminal's keyboard, pressing a series of buttons in the process. He took a couple deep breaths as he felt the tension leak out of his shoulders. He sat up again. "Thank you," he said, looking at Ansem.

"I'm not going to say 'you're welcome' because I don't want this to happen again but I appreciate the thanks. It was difficult for me to defend him, but I understand the situation. Do me a favor and lay low for a couple of decades. I really don't need any more reasons to fight with the Committee members about you two."

"We never intended to give you any reason to fight in the first place," Cloud said.

"Yet Leon decided to create the drugs," Ansem chided. The Charge sighed, having nearly forgotten what started everything.

"Right, right. I know," he said and rubbed his brows.

"I will say this though; some of the drugs Xemnas created off of Leon's blueprints most certainly had some interesting effects. Not all of them had such violent results and a few were stable enough to possibly take to market relatively quickly. We could be looking at a new era for Carrier creation because of it and I'm going to send out a few sign-up templates for any Carrier/Charge pairs that want to volunteer to test them for me. I'll be offering a few benefits for those who want to, of course," Ansem said. Cloud quirked a brow.

"What kind of results are you expecting?"

"Accelerated cell growth mostly. Xemnas' subordinates happened to find that once the samples were set in the gestational tanks that the growth speed was nearly tripled with the right combination of prenatal nutrients. The theory is that the growth would halt just like it normally would when the Carrier is removed from the gestational tank because the prenatal nutrients wouldn't be there anymore. Isn't that something?"

"Wh—really?"

"Oh yes. I'm quite intrigued. The stability is solid as well but we haven't tested it enough to fully understand it. I don't agree with Xemnas' methods so I'll be counting on volunteers."

"So instead of twenty or more years for maturity, what would we be looking at here?"

"Six to eight, most likely. The bigger issue is developing the Implant and the fusion process. We would need to come up with an easier way to create the Implants because as it stands the process takes too long. The zygote to infant growth rate would only be three months versus the normal nine, you see."

"I don't know what to say. That's phenomenal," Cloud said and leaned back in his seat, eyes wide and his mind racing with the possibilities. "Would the same hold true for the natural Totem offspring as well?"

"Possibly, but we haven't gotten that far yet. Obviously we wouldn't be able to use Carrier mothers for the birthing process if we were to try this new method but I don't foresee that being an issue. We may be able to skip the entire 'childhood' stage for them as well and create adults right away if everything moves quickly enough."

"Does Leon get a finder's fee?" Cloud asked and gave the Technician a lopsided smirk.

"Absolutely not. Xemnas paid with his life. That is enough," Ansem said.

"No comment," Cloud added. Ansem sighed and shook his head.

"I choose to ignore that last bit. You now know as much as I do. If there are any issues with Leon's recovery, feel free to contact me. He is doing alright, isn't he?"

"Yeah. He's fine. Much less pretty but he's fine."

"Well aesthetics don't have much to do with how I feel about it. So long as he recovers and you both continue to give me results, I'm satisfied."

"Alright. Thank you for your efforts," Cloud said with as much sincerity as he could muster. Ansem nodded and bid his farewells before ending the transmission. The Charge let out a long and heavy sigh. He watched the floor for a few minutes before letting out a series of breathy light laughs that sounded a little like he was going insane. He continued the sounds and rubbed his face, grinding his palms into his eyes. "I'm so fucking tired," he said to no one in particular with an airy grin across his face.

* * *

Axel wondered if he was going to set something on fire. He furrowed his brows. He never understood the appeal of candles before. Humans had the bad habit of stuffing the waxy cylinders with things that made his nose itch and he had expressed his displeasure when Bethany and Jess (along with their friends, of course) had tried to shove an armload of the stinky things in his face. He had politely declined them though after he explained why he disliked them and they understood. The candle he did end up buying was special though and he couldn't smell it, which was a nice bonus.

He ran through his mental checklist of things he had prepared to make sure he had remembered everything. Hopefully he wouldn't give Roxas a heart attack with it all. He was still unsure of how the blonde was feeling about everything and he hadn't gone through any therapy but they needed to fix things. Desperately. His Charge's samples were quickly becoming unusable and the redhead didn't want the added pressure to push all forms of intimacy away and make things worse. He paced back and fourth a bit and eyed the little dish next to the bed. There were two different kinds of ominous things contained therein and he hoped he wouldn't offend the blonde any by offering them if they were needed.

* * *

Demyx giggled to himself as he thought about his mission. Axel had given him very specific instructions on what he was supposed to do and he couldn't contain his excitement. His friend was being so incredibly cute it was almost suffocating. He had coerced the entire story from the redhead and though sad, the sandy blonde also thought it was sort of funny. He could understand Roxas' predicament though and he squelched any urge to tease him when he entered the lab. The blonde was studying and being boring, just like Axel said he would be.

"Hey Roxas," Demyx greeted. Roxas looked to him.

"Oh. Hi. Axel isn't here," he said.

"Yeah? That's okay because I wasn't looking for him. I was looking for you."

"Okay. What did you need?"

"I want to show you something."

"…Right now? I was sort of studying."

"Only sort of? How dedicated," Demyx said and grinned.

"Well I equate studying to retaining the information. I can't guarantee I'm getting it all but I'm trying."

"Take a break. Come with me," the sandy blonde urged. Roxas furrowed his brows.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"It's a surprise."

"…You understand my skepticism."

"I do, I don't blame you either but you should come anyway."

"Does Axel know you're trying to disturb me?"

"Yes he does, actually," Demyx said. Roxas raised a suspicious brow. He thought about it a bit and decided he didn't have anything to lose. He set his book down on the exam table and followed Demyx out of the lab. The sandy blonde lead him around the halls in no particular direction for a few minutes, making the Charge think he was just being messed with. Roxas was about to begin protesting when the stopped in front of Axel's bedroom door. Demyx giggled and skittered behind the blonde and nudged him forward.

"You could've just told me we were coming here," Roxas huffed. Demyx nudged him again.

"Go on," he urged. Roxas furrowed his brows and glared a bit over his shoulder at the Carrier. Demyx's doofy expression wasn't helping ease the suspiciousness he felt but he knocked on the door anyway. Demyx giggled again and skipped down the hall, leaving them to it and Roxas gaped a little, feeling like he had walked into some sort of horrible trap or prank. The door opened some and Axel was quick to reach out and pull him inside. The redhead closed it again and locked it. Roxas froze and took in the scene before him before turning to his Carrier and gaping at him.

"Axel, wh—"

"Happy Birthday, Roxas," the redhead said and smiled.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

"It's—?" Roxas started and hesitated. He looked at his watch. "It's my birthday," he concluded, taking in the date.

"August thirteenth, right?" Axel asked. Roxas nodded deftly, staring at the little digital screen in mild shock. "See? I pay attention."

"Apparently so. I totally forgot," he agreed.

"You don't sound very happy," the redhead said, his brows pushing together sadly.

"Well…twenty-one would be alright if I was back home because then I would have the novelty of being able to legally buy my own beer. Birthdays were never a big deal for me otherwise so it just sort of feels like any other day. But…" the blonde trailed and looked behind himself. "All of _that_ has me worried."

"Too much?" Axel asked. Roxas let out a nervous laugh.

"Well no, but it's horrendously corny. I mean…candlelight and rose petals? What cheesy nineteen seventies porn were _you_ watching?" he asked with a grin. Axel chuckled and shrugged.

"Those are less important. That," he said and pointed to the side table next to his bed. Roxas looked and didn't know what to think of the plethora of small bottles and vials that sat on its surface. "Is what we're going to be playing with," the redhead finished. The blonde looked to him again.

"But—"

"I know what you're thinking but we need to fix this. So I'm going to try my hardest to do that," Axel said and pulled his Charge in for a firm hug. Roxas hesitated for a few seconds before surrendering and wrapping his arms around his Carrier. They held each other for a few minutes before the redhead broke away and went to sit on the bed with his back against the wall. The blonde followed after him. Axel pulled him into his lap and reached over to pick up the little dish on his side table. Inside the dish were a pill and a glass cylinder with a rubber stopper filled with clear liquid.

"Um…" Roxas trailed, not understanding.

"In the event I fail miserably at this, I have an alternative. This one," Axel said and picked up the glass vessel, "is the drug Demyx gave me a while ago that'll _force_ you to deliver. But if having _me_ roll around and beg things from you is enough to get you going, then I can take the pill, which is Leon's drug. I don't want to use either and I would prefer if we can do things ourselves but…I need _something_ ," he said and set the dish aside. Roxas' expression fell and he picked up a petal from the comforter and rubbed it between his fingers. He felt guilty for making Axel go to such lengths. He knew how much the redhead disliked the drugs but he didn't know how to fix himself.

"Should I just take it now and save you the trouble?" the blonde offered flatly. Axel scowled and pulled the petal from his fingers and tossed it off to the side. He nudged the blonde around until they were facing one another and he took his Charge's hands in his, rubbing the backs of his palms with his thumbs.

"I don't need a sample from you just for work. In reality I could use your blood just as easily. Maybe I'm being a little immature and egotistical but I feel like you shouldn't let yourself wallow in whatever it is that's holding you back and you should be focusing on me. I understand the severity of what happened but I also think you're giving up too easily and surrendering yourself to therapy and methods you don't even agree with. I need something from you because I want to make sure everything is functioning properly physically and mentally. Plus…I mean, you don't want to have any sort of release?" the redhead asked. Roxas shrugged and kept his eyes low and adverted. "Roxas?"

"Hm?"

"Look at me, please?" Axel urged. The blonde picked his eyes up and looked at him but his face remained low and timid. "Is there something else that's bothering you? Is it me?"

"No. It's not you. It's…I…" he stammered and his gaze dropped again. "I feel guilty."

"Guilty? Roxas you should've feel guilty for something you couldn't avoid. What happened wasn't your fau—"

"I feel guilty because of how childish I've been and how much I've put you through without giving much back to you. I feel selfish for taking it all without being able to reciprocate. Even now, I can't even do my work properly despite how much you've tried to help me and…maybe I am giving up by wanting to try therapy but I don't know what else to do for you. It may be my birthday but for me all of this is just another thing I can't give back especially if I force you to use drugs on me or yourself."

"You've done more than enough for me. Just being here with me is enough."

"See, you say that but I don't feel it's enough. I do my work that the Technicians assign me every week like I'm supposed to and I sit around and spend time with you but that's all I can do. I can't even have sex with you properly anymore and I'm running out of shit to give. Don't think I'm naïve enough to think that the rose petals weren't expensive, because I know they were. I don't even have an income to give you horribly corny things like that as materialistic and shallow as it may sound."

"Roxas, I've lived for eighty-six years without giving a damn about materialistic things. It's nice to be able to break up all of the gray in my room with a little orange but I don't care about receiving presents from anyone. Demyx was nice enough to buy me a few things for my room in the past but I always felt strange for accepting them. I'm fine with having you. Everything else is secondary. When I said you should be focusing on me, I didn't mean this sort of thinking. The last thing I want is for you to feel guilty for being my Charge."

"But—"

"No 'buts.' I want you focus on me," the redhead interrupted and pulled the blonde forward to press their foreheads together. "But I want you to focus on the happy things. There are happy things, right?" he questioned and Roxas nodded some. "Okay good."

"My chest hurts," the blonde blurted. Axel raised a brow and let him sit back.

"Hurts like how? My Signet isn't telling me anything's wrong."

"No. I noticed it in quarantine," Roxas said and blushed a bit. "I found myself thinking about you too much and how much I disliked being away from you and it made my chest hurt," he said and took a breath. "Which is new, because I thought I loved my girlfriends before but apparently not as much as I thought I did because they never made me feel like this," he said and looked to the redhead's face. Axel wore an expression of mild shock and it made the blonde blush even more. "Maybe…maybe I've been avoiding the happy things and focusing on the guilt because I'm afraid to admit that I love you," he said quietly and looked away. When Axel didn't say anything, his heart sank. "Sorry," he said.

"What the _fuck_ are you apologizing for?" the redhead sputtered and reached forward and pulled Roxas' face around to force eye contact. The blonde startled and gaped as a string of tears streaked down Axel's cheeks. "Don't ever apologize for something like that. You've made me so happy I could crush you."

"…I did?"

"Yes!" the redhead cried and tugged on him, pulling him forward and squashing the blonde into his chest. He let out a shaky laugh as he held his Charge close and used one hand to wipe at his face. "I'm being terribly unmanly I know, but I can't help it. Here I thought I'd be the first one to say it and then I'd scare you away and we'd be in even more trouble but…god Roxas," he sighed and laid his cheek against the blonde's hair. "Even if you made me cry with that curveball I'm still so damn happy I don't even care." Roxas didn't know how to take such an overwhelming reaction. He thought for sure he would be pushing things a little too far with his confession. Axel pulled away from him enough to look at him with a watery smile.

"You love me too?" the blonde asked quietly, needing a bit of reassurance. Axel nodded quickly.

"Of course I do," he said. "You're not telling me this because you feel like you have to give me something are you?" Roxas shook his head.

"No. I mean it," he said. Axel's smile spread into a grin and he rubbed their noses together.

"And here I thought it was _your_ birthday. Why am I getting all the nice gifts?"

"Because we haven't gotten to the point where I get mine yet?" the blonde guessed with a light shrug. "Besides, it's not exclusively your gift. It's mine too. Aside from the nice feeling of being loved back, you wouldn't believe how much lighter I feel," he added and let out a sigh. "I never realized how much it was weighing me down. God…" he trailed and sat upright. "I'm…I'm really happy."

"Fantastic," Axel said and laced their fingers together. Roxas scooted forward a few inches and pressed their lips together gently. The redhead let out a peaceful sigh and gave the blonde's hands a squeeze before letting go and settling them on his Charge's hips. Roxas' arms wrapped around Axel's neck loosely and their kiss deepened as his fingers combed through the ends of the crimson strands. Axel pulled on the blonde's hips, sliding him closer until they were pressed together. His hands slid up under Roxas' shirt and they danced over his warm skin eliciting a soft sigh from the blonde. They broke for air and Roxas let out a breathless laugh.

"I hope that stuff is returnable," he said and Axel raised a brow.

"What stu—oh that stuff?" he asked and hitched a thumb over his shoulder at the bottles and things on the side table. Roxas nodded and took the hand and pressed it to the front of his pants to show just how happy he was feeling. Axel grinned. "And you said _I_ was corny."

"Yeah well… what can I say? Apparently I'm a hopeless romantic," the blonde snorted but couldn't hide his smile.

"Works for me. We can still keep them around though. Mess with them when we feel like it, that sort of thing," the redhead said and leaned back and picked up one of the bottles. He read its label and set it down before picking up another one and deciding it was the one he was looking for. "Like this one."

"What is it?" Roxas asked and turned it around in Axel's fingers, squinting at the label but was unable to read it in the dim lighting. He grumbled a bit and stole the little thing from him and scooted across the bed to hold it next to the candle and see. Axel quirked a brow since apparently the blonde didn't just want him to tell him what it was like had asked. Roxas was having a terrible time trying to read the tiny writing and the redhead too the opportunity to scoot across the bed to him. He unceremoniously unfastened the blonde's pants and started pulling them off of him. Roxas let out a surprised yelp as his legs were pulled out from under him and his pants and boxers went flying over Axel's shoulder. "Getting right to the point?" the blonde gasped as he was exposed.

"No, I'm attempting to show you what it is since apparently my explanation wouldn't be good enough for you," Axel chuckled and started to pull the blonde's shirt upwards. His Charge didn't resist as the other piece of fabric fluttered away as well. The redhead started to disrobe as well and the blonde raised a brow.

"Is this some sort of fancy lube or something?" Roxas questioned and squinted at the bottle again. Axel chuckled and wiggled out of his shorts.

"No, I just want to be naked too," he said and took the bottle from him. Roxas laughed a bit and made to flip over onto his back but Axel nudged him back onto his stomach. "Stay there," he said and pulled the seal off of the bottle before depositing a stream of the clear substance onto the blonde's back. Roxas twitched as the liquid slid around on his skin. Axel capped the bottle again and tossed it aside before squashing his hands into the little puddle of oil and started to rub it into his Charge's skin, kneading into the muscles as he went.

"You could've just said 'massage oil' and I would've got it," the blonde sighed and reveled in the attention and the feeling of Axel's hands on him.

"You took it upon yourself to try and read it even after you asked me to explain what it was. So I figured a demonstration would get your attention better," the redhead said and pressed the blonde into the mattress, garnering a grunt from him but then another sigh as the Charge allowed himself to relax. As Axel worked him over, a light scent wafted over him and he blinked a few times, trying to discern the specific odor. It was familiar and was quickly becoming intoxicating as he thought about it more. His skin flushed with color and he tingled all over, even in the places that Axel hadn't touched yet. "I take it the candle hit you?" the redhead questioned as he could feel the blonde's temperature rise a bit under his hands.

"That's the candle?" Roxas asked and gave another light sniff.

"Yes. It's the same concept as my pheromone soap."

" _That's_ where I recognize it from, okay," the blonde agreed. Axel chuckled and pulled on his Charge's side. Roxas rolled over onto his back. The redhead reached over and took up the bottle of oil again before squeezing out another glop into his hand and tossing it aside again. He turned back to the blonde and smirked a bit. Whether he realized it or not, Roxas was giving Axel an extremely tempting and desirable expression. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes were at half mast and glassy, and his gaze was glued to the redhead's hands as he rubbed the bit of oil between his palms.

"Feeling fuzzy?" Axel asked. Roxas blinked slowly a few times.

"Hmm?" he hummed. Axel smiled and chuckled again.

"Never mind," the redhead said and began to rub the oil into his Charge's thighs. Roxas sucked in a breath as a wave of tingling pleasure twisted up his spine but he let it out in a long sigh when he got used to the new feeling. As he kneaded and rubbed the blonde's legs, Axel kept flicking his gaze upwards to see his Charge's expression become more and more slack. He smiled. It was nice to see Roxas so at ease. The redhead hadn't seen him this way since he was in middle school. He slathered the blonde in affectionate rubs, effectively coating him in a glossy sheen in the process. When he was finished, Roxas had been reduced to a gelatinous blob on his stomach and lay limp on the bed with a satisfied smile.

"I would offer to give you one but I don't think I can move," the blonde said, his words partly slurred as his cheek was squashed into the comforter at a strange angle. Axel laughed a bit.

"Well don't fall asleep just yet."

"Oh, I'm not. Believe me."

"Good," the redhead said and stretched himself along the bed beside the blonde. Roxas rolled backwards onto his side, pressing his oily back to Axel's front and the Carrier wrapped his arms around his waist comfortably. He slid his hands over the blonde's thighs and he kissed the back of his neck several times. Roxas' hazy mind was only allowing him to think of a few things at a time. They mostly consisted of sex, Axel, and then more sex. He reached down and pulled one of Axel's wrists inward and pressed his palm into his neglected arousal. The redhead grinned into his skin and used his free hand to pull the blonde's hips back against his own. The feeling of Axel's hardened length pressed up against him sent shivers down the blonde's spine. The Carrier stroked him a few times, eliciting a gasp and a series of soft moans from his throat. Axel purred his approval into the shell of his ear and continued.

"A-Axel…" the blonde groaned in partial frustration as the redhead caressed him, all the while grinding himself against his oily skin and teasing him relentlessly. Axel licked a line up his neck, further adding to the aggravation. His hand picked up the pace, sending tremors over Roxas' thighs and the blonde attempted to grab his wrists and stop him before he climaxed but his efforts were easily thwarted as the redhead persisted. Axel was quick to push him over the edge and the blonde grit his teeth against a moan. The redhead quickly backed off and pushed him on his back just as he released, almost painfully, sending a streak of white across his abdomen. Axel held him until the tremors stopped and Roxas relaxed back.

"Feel better?" the redhead questioned with a smile.

"That's not what I wanted," the blonde huffed. Axel grinned and draped himself over the edge of the bed and pulled open his side table for a sample canister.

"Glad to hear it, but I wanted to get the work out of the way so we can focus on the loving," he said and retrieved the little plastic cup from inside and began scraping the blonde clean.

"Oh. I forgot about that," Roxas sighed.

"I thought so. But it's alright. I forgive you," Axel chuckled and set the occupied canister aside once he was finished. He pushed himself up onto his knees and grabbed the blonde's ankles and pulled him across the bed to him. Roxas let out a strangled yelp as he slid across the comforter on his back only to come to rest with his rump against Axel's thighs. The redhead pushed his legs open and settled himself on top of his Charge, smiling down on him with their faces hardly an inch apart. Roxas shifted around to get comfortable and made a disgruntled face.

"I think I have a flower petal in my butt," he blurted and Axel laughed.

"Sounds like a personal problem to me," he said and leaned forward, pressing their lips together tenderly. Roxas pulled away from the kiss quickly and stuck his hand down behind himself to see what the problem was. Axel couldn't help but laugh again when his hand came back up with not one but four rose petals he had discovered.

"I'm beginning to question the functionality of rose petals in a romantic setting," Roxas sighed and tossed them aside. Axel shrugged.

"I have no idea, it wasn't even my idea. A couple of girls and a bunch of their friends told me I had to and so I did before they could start yelling at me."

"Girls, huh?"

"Yep. Apparently I'm incredibly cute and so they followed me around and told me about a bunch of things I didn't even know existed."

"Oh?" the blonde questioned and ran his fingers through the redhead's hair a bit, pushing it around and causing most of it to fall forward over them like a curtain. "Cute?"

"Yes. They called me cute."

"Weird. I wouldn't say 'cute.' 'Handsome' is more like it," he said matter-of-factly and Axel smiled.

"Oh. Why thank you. I've never been called cute before so it was a little strange. You're cute though."

"So I've been told. I've been called a lot of things, I don't really listen half the time anymore," Roxas shrugged. "Thanks though. I can work with cute, I suppose." His skin flushed again as he caught another whiff of the candle's tempting ways. Axel looked thoughtful. He pushed himself off of the blonde and scooted across the bed to blow the flame out and reach over to push the window open. He went back to Roxas and replaced himself on him. "Don't like fire anymore?" the blonde questioned.

"It's not so much that as it's distracting. Had I known I wasn't going to need any of this, I would've confessed my feelings for you weeks ago," he grinned and rubbed their noses together. "I want to make love to you when you're not all hopped up on pheromones. Candles are fine for work but this isn't work anymore," he added. Roxas smiled and wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck and pulled him down for another kiss. It was soft and gentle but it sent goosebumps over his skin all the same. They spent a few minutes letting the candle's essence waft out the window, sharing the time with light pecks and nuzzles. Once Roxas couldn't smell it anymore he pushed up into their kiss just enough to snake his tongue into Axel's mouth. The redhead received him happily and his hands began to wander.

Roxas' breath hitched when he could feel his Carrier's fingers begin to press into him. He was relaxed enough to where it didn't bother him all that much and the remaining massage oil was an added bonus. The fact that he could feel Axel's tenderness with the entire process helped even more. With how easily Leon and ripped Xemnas to shreds, Roxas had a new appreciation for how gentle the redhead must have been forcing himself to be with him all the time. He was beginning to wonder how often Axel had to remind himself to be soft with him, that is, until the redhead's fingers jabbed his prostate and snapped him out of his euphoria. His thighs twitched and his hips shot up, grinding them together and making the redhead pull away from his lips for a smile. Roxas' cheeks flushed but he managed a small smile in return. Axel's hand left him and he reached out, searching the comforter for the little bottle of oil. After a frustrated grumble and a handful of annoying rose petals thrown through the air later, the bottle was found and the redhead squeezed a dab onto his hand again.

The Carrier wanted to see everything. That much he knew, but he kept an eye out for his Charge's reaction when he settled himself back on his knees. Roxas didn't seem to get his intentions until the redhead stroked himself a few times and coated himself in the oil before lifting his thighs and pushing his legs back towards his chest. The blonde felt horribly exposed and open, not to mention flabbergasted that he could even bend that much. But he reminded himself it was okay. This was alright. Because he was with Axel and he knew the redhead wouldn't demean him in any way. He hooked his hands behind his knees and held his legs in place, giving the redhead a sheepish and blushing look. Axel nearly exploded at the expression. He gaped at the blonde's large cerulean eyes framed in his pinkened skin and seared the look into his mind.

"Axel?" Roxas questioned. His cheeks darkened the longer the redhead sat there staring at him.

"Wh—Hmm?" Axel stuttered, blinking a few times.

"Are you going to do something or should I put my legs down?"

"I would if you'd stop distracting me with your big ass eyes," the redhead said and grinned.

"I'm holding my ass open for you and you're focusing on my _eyes_? I don't know if should call that polite or weird," the blonde blurted and Axel laughed. He reached forward and ran his hands over the underside of Roxas' thighs, his attention resituated to the matter at hand. He moved them down and lifted the blonde's hips a bit before positioning himself at his Charge's entrance. Roxas grit his teeth and held his breath, expecting a moment of harsh pain as Axel pushed inside. It was there, but not as much as he could remember and he was able to let his breath out and focus on their connection.

"Okay?" the redhead asked breathlessly when he noticed the blonde's slightly pained expression. Roxas nodded several times, not trusting his voice to sound sincere. Axel took him at his word (or nod as the case may have it) and pressed forward, watching himself as he did so. The view of his Charge taking him made his legs weak. It was a beautiful feeling that was accentuated by the way Roxas watched him, his face slack and needy. Needy _for_ him. For Axel. The redhead had never felt needed before in his life and he almost wanted to cry again it was so overwhelming; but he was too distracted. Once he was completely sheathed, he allowed the blonde to relax around him, which didn't take too long.

He didn't trust himself to hold out very long if he allowed himself to be assaulted by the imagery and he leaned forward against Roxas' legs. The blonde let go of his knees and let them settle on the redhead's shoulders. He brought his hands up to run them over Axel's cheeks and neck, feeling the light film of sweat that had already developed on them. He gave his Carrier a wobbly smile and he reciprocated with one of his own. Axel began to move. His careful movements allowed his Charge to adjust to the feelings again but their extreme angle gave him a wonderful vantage point to scrape over the blonde's little bundle of nerves. He hit it once and Roxas' fingers dug into his arms. He hit it twice and Roxas cried out and his thighs gave a violent shake.

The blonde could hardly see through the sensations. Besides the feeling of Axel thrusting against him and filling him, the redhead was letting out a string of grunts and pants that reverberated over his skin and sent chills down his limbs. He couldn't focus on the way his spine was bent over onto itself and was beginning to hurt, or the way his knees kept prodding into his chest painfully. Everything he could sense was Axel. There was nothing else. The spikes of pleasure gathered and they prodded under his skin, urging him closer to the edge. He pulled a hand away from Axel's arm as the teasing became too much and the release stayed just out of reach. He started to stroke himself and the redhead pushed himself back onto his knees. He nearly melted at the sight of the blonde pleasuring himself while he allowed the redhead to take him. It was too much.

Axel let out a shuddering groan as he climaxed into his Charge and the blonde tensed as the sound danced over his skin. He released a moment later, gritting his teeth as a moan caught in his throat. Panting, Axel watched the blonde relax back with a sigh. They locked eyes, catching their breaths together and sweating. Roxas's legs slowly lowered themselves as his muscles creaked into place again. They shared an entire wordless conversation that lasted a few quiet minutes before the blonde pushed himself up and balanced himself back on his palms. Axel leaned forward and wrapped his hands behind Roxas' back and pulled him up. He resituated his legs under them and settled the blonde in his lap and hugged him close. Roxas wrapped his arms the redhead and laid his cheek against his chest. He inhaled Axel's scent, mostly by accident, but he found he didn't mind it anymore. The redhead pulled back from their embrace and smiled at him. Roxas smiled back and pushed himself up for a light kiss.

"Again," the blonde said and Axel grinned.

* * *

Sora was just about to drift off to sleep next to Riku in his new thicker and much warmer pajamas. His mind wandered (as it often did) back to his life that he had in Radiant Garden and how much he missed everyone. His parents, his friends, maybe even Kairi a little bit. He could remember chasing after Roxas and his friends when his elder brother had gotten a new bicycle for his ninth birthday. Being seven, his stubby legs couldn't keep up very well and they left him in their dust, as older siblings tended to do. He was so upset that they wouldn't let him play with them that he had stormed back into their home and ate the last piece of Roxas' birthday cake. Roxas' birthday. His eyes flew open and he gasped a bit and shot upright.

"Shit!" he barked with a puff of condensation coming from his breath. He grabbed onto Riku's bare shoulder and shook him. The Carrier startled and groaned a bit and blearily rubbed at his eye and sat up. Sora blinked a few times, still amazed that his Carrier could sleep naked in this frigid ice box of a room.

"What is it?" Riku asked tiredly.

"I forgot Roxas' birthday!" Sora cried. Riku stared at him for a minute, blinking slowly.

"Okay?"

"Not okay!"

"Well what do you want me to do about it?"

"I didn't get him anything, what should I do?" the brunette pleaded and ran a hand through his unruly hair. Riku took his other arm and pulled his sleeve up and clicked a button on his watch and took in the time.

"It's one in the morning of the day _after_ Roxas' birthday, Sora. Not only are all the shops in town probably closed, he didn't even say anything about it so I doubt he'll care a whole lot. Besides, Demyx says Axel is giving him enough for the next ten birthdays."

"Gross," the brunette snorted.

"Well it's true."

"I feel like an asshole though. He's never forgotten one of mine."

"Then apologize to him later for it. Or, we can get up early and go get something then. You can apologize and give him something."

"Yeah?" Sora asked and cast him a hopeful eye. Riku nodded and flopped back onto his pillow.

"Granted, you don't wake up every two hours and flip your lid on me."

"I didn't wake up, I haven't fallen asleep yet."

"Good lord. Sleep already."

"But I _can't_ ," Sora sighed and pulled the blanket up and lay back, resting his head on Riku's chest and curling the rest of him around his Carrier's side. Riku's arm came up around him and rubbed his back idly.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm nervous."

"About what?"

"About testing Leon's stuff."

"Well we don't have to."

"I want to but I don't know if I'll be able to keep up," the brunette said and laughed a bit. Riku chuckled.

"You'll be fine, I'm sure. Did you want a few more days?"

"No. I'm anxious to do it and I'm nervous. It's weird. And I keep thinking about Radiant Garden and my family. Like, I'll flip out about the drug and then calm down enough to sleep and end up thinking about my family and wake up again."

"You miss them?"

"I don't know. I just recall memories and stuff. It's not like any of it's painful to think about but it happens. Is that bad?" he asked and pulled his head up to look at Riku's face. He couldn't see very well in the dark but there was a neon glint as the Carrier's eyes shifted to him. Riku shrugged.

"I don't know if it's bad or not. Though, if you feel depressed or anything I want you to tell me, alright? Don't bottle it up. Promise?"

"Yeah. I promise," Sora sighed and lay his cheek against Riku's chest again.

* * *

The next morning was a little rough. Or rather, the next _afternoon_ was a little rough. Roxas had woken up to a sore butt, a sore back, and a sticky everything else. He was happy though, which made things better. That, and the fact that Axel was so worried that he had hurt him, made everything just a little sweeter. It had been a good birthday overall and he wouldn't have traded it for anything else. It had taken them forever to wake up, stop cuddling, stop kissing, shower, and get dressed before they headed to lunch to officially start the day. All eyes at the table were on them and they both stared at everyone blankly until Axel got what was going on and narrowed his eyes on Demyx. The sandy blonde gave him a doofy grin and wiggled his fingers at him in a teasing wave.

"Three seconds, start running," Axel growled and Demyx's face drained of color before he bolted upright and took off. The redhead chased after him and they were out the door in seconds. Roxas raised a brow at them and set his tray down before taking his seat gingerly. He turned to his food but yelped when he came face to face with his brother's eyes and an enormous grin.

"Hi _Roxaaaasss_ ," Sora drawled at him. Roxas leaned back in his seat and stared at him.

"Hi Sora," he said flatly.

"Have a nice birthday?" the brunette asked, settling his chin on his hands with his elbows on the table. Riku rolled his eyes as his Charge lay draped over most of the table's surface and taking up everyone's space. Zexion scooted over a few inches and resumed eating.

"I did. How was your day?" Roxas asked and stabbed his fork into his plate.

"Oh fine, fine. Demyx told us some things. Is it true?"

"Is half of anything Demyx says true?"

"I dunno. He seems pretty convincing."

"Well then you answered your own question. It doesn't matter what I think then, does it? If Demyx is convincing, then you obviously already believe him," Roxas said and started eating calmly. Zexion smirked but didn't say anything.

"Aw, you're not going to share?" the brunette pouted.

"It's my own personal business. I don't believe I have to."

"No fun," Sora sighed and sat back. He spent the next few minutes pouting at his brother before Demyx skittered back into the cafeteria and dove to the ground, pushing his chair out of the way and hiding behind Zexion.

"Zex! Save me! He's going to kill me!" Demyx cried as Axel stormed into the room again with fire in his eyes. Roxas looked between the redhead and the tuft of sandy blonde hair he could see peeking over the edge of the tabletop. Demyx squealed when Axel hauled him out from where he was hiding by his arm and pulled him to his knees. Roxas was on his feet and he rounded the table, putting a hand on Axel's chest to keep him from clobbering his friend. The redhead stopped his advance and looked at him. Roxas pulled Axel's hand off of Demyx's arm and the sandy blonde scooted away quickly. The blonde took a handful of red hair and pulled Axel's face down, crushing their mouths together, tongue and all. The redhead didn't miss a beat and wrapped his arms around his lover loosely, kissing back heatedly. Roxas released him and patted him on the chest.

"Calm down. It's not a big deal," he said and Axel nodded, his anger dwindling quickly.

"What was _that_?" Sora squealed gleefully, staring up at them with twinkling eyes.

"What was what?" Roxas asked looking at him. Axel let him go and went to sit and eat. Roxas followed after him and sat gently and resumed eating like nothing had happened.

"That! That thing you just did! That was a kiss! And it was _hot_! Oh my god!" the brunette said happily and held his face in between his hands with a grin. Riku sighed and rubbed his brows.

"I didn't do anything. Did you do anything?" Roxas asked looking at Axel. The redhead shrugged.

"I didn't do anything. Did you see anything Zexion?" Axel asked. The other Charge shrugged.

"I didn't see anything. Demyx?" he asked calmly, looking down at the floor where the sandy blonde was trying to put his heart back into his chest.

"Huh?" Demyx sputtered.

"Exactly," Roxas agreed. Sora glared at him.

"That's not cool, Roxas," he huffed.

"I never said I was," the blonde said blandly. Sora watched him eat for a minute before sighing, defeated. He perked up a bit as one of the cafeteria workers came to their table and set another plate on its surface. She left quickly without saying anything and Sora grinned. Roxas quirked a brow at the four cupcakes sitting next to him.

"They're finished! Yay!" the brunette said and pulled the plate around in front of his brother. "Happy Birthday! Should we sing?" he asked. Roxas' expression drooped.

"You sing, I punch you. You're late, by the way."

"I know. I remembered at like… early o'clock. I'm sorry. But! It took me two hours to beg the cafeteria workers to let me use an oven, so I think I paid my dues alright."

"There's only four," Roxas said. Axel laughed.

"I'll eat one only if I can vomit it up on Sora's carpeting," the redhead said. Sora scowled.

" _That's_ why there's only four. I was hoping Cloud would be here but apparently he's not done being a dick somewhere. I'll take one to him later. Unless you want to eat it," the brunette said, looking at the blonde. Roxas shrugged and picked one up.

"No, one is fine. Thanks," the blonde said and smiled. Sora grinned.

"You're welcome. Happy birthday."


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

Demyx pouted as Naomi's hand on his chest kept him from bursting into Leon and Cloud's lab. Behind her, the blinds were drawn over the windows, there was yellow and black 'Caution' tape over the doors and a note that said:

_Demyx, I'll kill you._

_-Cloud_

"He knows me so well," the sandy blonde giggled and waved at the woman guarding the doors as he left. Naomi was not amused and crossed her arms under her bosom and gave everyone who passed by her best menacing face. Beside her were her sisters Theresa and Liv in their Primal forms, sitting and adding an extra bit of muscle to keep any intruders at bay. Today was serious business and Papa had asked for no disturbances. He was bringing Brother back to them and they needed their privacy.

Cloud kept telling himself he was manly. He didn't really feel it today though as his fingers anxiously typed away at the Diagnostic Care Center's keyboard, initiating the first in a series of chemical changes that would wake Leon up. Outwardly, he looked as calm and as stone faced as ever but under his skin, his nerves were on fire and they were making his work incredibly difficult. Not many people believed him when he said he could get excited about things, feel happy about things, or even be merry. He usually didn't care about those things so long as Leon understood, which he always did, but right then, he didn't have anyone to share it with and he was feeling jittery. He felt like a teenage girl waiting for her date before Prom. It bothered him.

The liquid in Leon's glass bubble slowly started turning blue as a stream of chemicals leaked in. The color headed straight for the Carrier's skin and for nearly ten minutes Leon was coated in a haze of blue as they osmosed into him. Cloud drummed his fingers on the terminal impatiently as he waited for the screen to give him the 'OK' to head to the next step. He smirked a little as he typed away. The last time Leon had to be in the Care Center, Cloud had figured out exactly what the second step did and he found it particularly comical. A small metal rod descended from the top of the tube where the head of all the machinery was. There was a quick flash as the terminal literally shocked the Carrier inside to alertness. Leon's eyes flew open and a stream of surprised bubbles flew from his nose. Cloud couldn't help but laugh a little; both from Leon's angry twitching and the fact that he was awake. Leon scowled as best as he could around his breathing tube, his eyes flickering before their color died away from the jolt. The color died from his eyebrows and pubic hair as well. Cloud initiated the draining sequence and the liquid slowly started to lower. He pushed himself from his seat and went to retrieve a blanket.

Leon settled at the bottom of the cylinder and immediately pulled the breathing tube out of his mouth with shaking hands and started to pull the bandages from his head. Cloud sighed and tugged the door open and tossed the blanket on him before batting his hands away.

"Stop it, dipshit," the blonde huffed and Leon gave him a defiant glare. The Carrier sighed and unfolded the blanket some more and wrapped it around himself as the shivers set in. He huddled under the fabric and waited as Cloud stepped out of the tube again and went to retrieve his medical kit. The blonde came back quickly and held out his hand to Leon. The Carrier took it and allowed his Charge to help him stand on wobbly legs. He hobbled away from the Care Center and plopped into a chair, his teeth chattering. Cloud opened his kit and shuffled around before producing a small pair of scissors. He wedged the blades carefully under the bandages and snipped an opening before beginning to unwrap them. Before too long the outer bandages were removed and only the little square of gauze was left over Leon's incision. It peeled away easily and Cloud smiled. "Beautiful," he said as he took in the healthy heal that left behind only a light scar. There was still some minor bruising as well but those would be gone in a few days.

"Wonderful," Leon huffed, his dry and underused throat causing his voice to crack. "Can I have my hair back now?" he asked crankily.

"You don't want me to spit shine you so you can blind people with your luminous sheen?" Cloud asked and ran his fingers gently over his lover's bald head. Leon sent him a glare.

"Is that a yes?" he asked.

"Yes, you can," the blonde sighed. Leon pushed himself up again and took a second to steady himself before sitting in front of the Catalogue terminal and plugging in his Link. He flicked through the color index and reset his hair and eye color before moving quickly over to the style index. Cloud cleaned up the bandages and his kit before heading over to the terminal to loom over the Carrier's shoulder. Leon sighed tiredly as he flicked through the index before settling for typing in the style number he had so carefully memorized. He accepted his choice and within a minute he was able to disconnect his Link and sit back. He skin itched something terrible but he ignored it as the strands pushed through to the surface at a steady pace. Cloud ran his hand over the russet peach fuzz with a smirk.

"Enjoying yourself?" Leon asked and closed his eyes. He was exhausted and his body felt like it weighed ten tons. Neither he nor Cloud were going to be able to sleep any time soon though. They had a battery of tests to go through and it would probably take all day.

"I don't get to see you like this very often, so yes," the blonde said. It would take a little over an hour for Leon's hair to regrow itself so Cloud had to enjoy it while he could. "Nothing hurts though?"

"Not really. Nothing on my head anyway. Not yet."

"Alright. You're not allowed to change for another four weeks though."

"I guessed as much. That's fine."

"Hungry?" Cloud asked.

"And thirsty and tired and sexually deprived and everything else, yes."

"Good. I'll let the girls know and they'll get you something to eat," the blonde said and made his way to the door.

"The girls? You have them waiting out there?" Leon questioned, opening an eye to watch his Charge.

"Demyx has been trying to bust in here for a week and I'm tired of it. So yes, they're outside but they're acting as guards more than anything else."

"I see." Leon closed his eyes again and pulled the blanket around himself tighter. Cloud spoke to Naomi through the doors and the woman agreed to his request and left. The blonde yawned a bit and went to inflate the air mattress. Even though he was awake and walking around Leon looked awful. It could've been much worse but Cloud took pity on him anyway and decided they could do most of their work lying down if the Carrier cared to. Leon waited in his chair, pulling his legs up and folding them in front of himself comfortably. He could almost fall asleep right where he was but he didn't allow himself to. When the little battery powered air pump sounded and the mattress began to fill, he looked to it, longing to lie down and sleep for a week. Spending so much time in suspended animation did nothing for him other than keep him from being active and hurting himself while he healed. He had a lot to catch up on. One thing he did happen to notice though was that the gestational tank was in use. Intriguing.

Naomi came back and undid the 'Caution' tape on the door before pushing them open and entering. She set a tray down on the exam table of a plate of food for either man. She smiled at Leon and he gave her a small one in return. She didn't stay though; she knew they would have their time when Cloud was finished. She left quietly and replaced the tape over the door when they swung closed. The Carrier reluctantly pushed himself up from his chair and trudged over to the table. Cloud watched him move, gauging how well his limbs responded to him. When the mattress was full he capped it and pushed the little motor away. He went to join his lover, all the while keeping an analytical eye out for anything suspicious. Leon was just sitting and staring at his food blankly.

"Problem?" Cloud asked as he pulled a seat up on the opposite side of the table. Leon shrugged a bit.

"Trying to wake up," he said tiredly. The blonde nodded and took up his fork and pushed his fruit salad around. Eventually Leon relented and picked up a cube of beef and squished it between his thumb and forefinger. Very unpleasant sensations coursed through his fingers and he set the cube down again. Naomi hadn't brought him a fork. He didn't blame her but he also didn't like that he couldn't even enjoy his food without being reminded of the awful things he had done. Cloud surrendered his utensil over to him and he took it with a scowl. They ate quietly, the blonde watching his lover carefully the entire time and making sure everything was working properly, which it was.

"What do you want to do first?" Cloud asked after they had finished and pushed the dishes aside.

"Sleep," Leon said flatly, but he knew he wouldn't be able to. He ran his fingers through his shaggy hair as the length was just then ghosting over his ears.

"Aside from that."

"Fuck you."

"Later. Pick something work related."

"…Fuck you?"

"Reflex testing it is," Cloud said and cleared his throat. He crossed the lab and took up his tablet and stylus. "Ansem didn't say how much exertion you were allowed to do. I don't even know if sex is allowed yet," he added. Leon scoffed.

"I don't _have_ to do much. I chose to. In reality I could just lie there and make you do all the work," he said and stood. "Besides, half the tests we need to do could be concluded on how well I perform without passing out, correct?"

"I would rather not skip out on this stuff. It's sort of hugely important in gauging your wellness," the blonde said and scrolled through his list.

"Have it your way," Leon said and went to the air mattress and splayed himself across it on his back. He billowed the blanket around him and ran his fingers over his skin, waiting for Cloud to notice. The blonde intentionally ignored him for over ten minutes but eventually ran out of things to stare at on his tablet. His attention flicked to his lover for a brief second and he sighed.

"You've been awake for a half hour and you're already trying to seduce me?" Cloud asked skeptically. Leon shrugged.

"I have needs. I've eaten, you won't allow me to sleep, and so I'm trying my best for two out of three. Forgive me but we've been apart for nearly a month, need I remind you?" the Carrier said. The blonde looked him over with a light glare, feigning defiance. In reality the way Leon's hair had grown in so far, with it feathering over his eyes and ears, sent a pang of nostalgia through the blonde's chest. So many memories associated with that hair came rushing back to him and he looked between Leon and his tablet several times.

He sighed and started to unbuckle his belt.

* * *

Axel shoved the lab doors open hefting a pair of large boxes through them. Roxas raised a brow over his textbook as his Carrier wobbled in and plopped them in the first available open space. The redhead was all smiles as he ripped the first one open, humming a jovial tune. Packing peanuts and stuffing went flying in every direction as he searched through the box for his prize. The blonde furrowed his brows at the mess as he remembered the broom was in the storage closet and that particular space was terribly foreboding now-a-days. There was a light ' _Aha!_ ' from Axel and he lifted up what looked to be an infant and another smaller box. He set the box aside gently. To Roxas' horror, he shuffled the larger boxes aside and held the infant by the wrist and dangled a bit before dropping it. At the same time his foot came up and he kicked the baby harshly, sending it sailing through the air and across the lab.

"Baby football!" he cried and started laughing.

"Oh my god! What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?" Roxas yelled as the infant landed on the floor and bounced a little before laying still. Then he stopped himself. Actual babies don't come in boxes. He was still disturbed though and gave the redhead a look depicting such sentiments.

"Baby football!" came a distant voice. There was the sound of rapidly approaching feet and Demyx burst through the doors abruptly, looking around. "Where?"

"Over there!" Axel rasped out between his laughs and pointed to where the infant had landed.

"Yes!" Demyx grinned and bounded across the room and picked it up before booting it back across the room to his friend. Axel was laughing so hard he couldn't even make an attempt to catch it and it hit him in the side and flopped to the floor again. Demyx started to laugh right along with him and Roxas looked at them and felt horribly left out. They continued for several minutes, the redhead holding his sides and falling to the floor. He leaned forward until his forehead touched the tile, his laughs becoming hoarse squeaks in the process. Demyx's laughter got caught in his throat as his breath ran out and he was reduced to silent quaking. Roxas waited until they were finished. Eventually, Axel gathered himself enough to grab the infant by the foot and head out of the lab.

"Riku!" he called down the hall, his breath breaking up as he kept the giggles at bay. There was a brief silence.

"What?" Riku called back from his lab entrance.

"Baby football!" Axel yelled to him.

"Ooh! Pass it!" the other Carrier yelled as he started to laugh. Roxas quickly rounded the table and headed for the hallway. He exited the lab just in time to see Axel throw the infant like a javelin down the hall. Riku watched it sail to him and held up his arms. He caught it easily and started laughing uncontrollably. Sora exited their lab looking horribly confused.

"Where's Cloud?" Axel yelled down the hall. Sora shrugged at him while Riku collapsed onto the floor. Naomi rounded the corner several yards away from Sora and Riku's lab and she gasped. "Oh fuck," the redhead said quietly. "Women aren't too keen on child abuse."

"I have no idea what's going on," Roxas said and itched his scalp. Demyx came out into the hall and he squeaked.

"Riku! Run!" he yelled down the hall and the snowy Carrier slowed his laughter just enough to see Naomi heading for him. He shot upright and started running towards them, infant flailing along behind him. Axel and Demyx started laughing again. Sora was left at the doors, mouth agape and Naomi sprinted down the hall after Riku. The snowy Carrier made it to Axel first and slammed the baby into his chest and kept running, rounding the corner and out of harms way. The redhead fumbled the infant around but managed to not drop it. "Pass it!" Demyx cried and sprinted down the hall at full speed. He ran past Naomi and the woman hesitated, looking at him confusedly. Axel reared back and threw the infant again, over her head and the sandy blonde ran with his arms outstretched, watching it soar from over his shoulder. He jumped a bit and caught it, and hit the ground running again.

"Demyx!" Naomi cried angrily. "Brother is awake!" she yelled and he skidded to a stop, sliding a few feet in the process.

"Oh shit, really?" Demyx asked.

"Yes! I have a mind to tell him what you all are doing!" she said.

"Hey! Tell Cloud to come play while you're at it!' Axel called to her and she whirled on him, mouth agape.

"Papa doesn't play such horrid games!" she yelled.

"Sure he does," Demyx said and waggled the infant by it's wrist at her. Naomi huffed loudly and stomped down the hall towards him. Demyx snickered a bit and held the baby to his chest protectively, expecting her to try and snatch it from him. She bypassed him and stalked around the corner again. Riku peeked around his corner when he heard the yelling stop.

"Is she gone?" he asked and Axel nodded. He let out a sigh and came around to join them.

"What the _hell_ is going on?" Roxas asked, his brows knit together in annoyance. Axel grinned at him.

"Baby football," he said simply.

"Yeah I heard but what the fuck?" the blonde questioned. In the distance there was excited chatter to be heard before the sound of running bare feet against the tile.

"Demyx!" Cloud yelled, rounding the corner dressed only in his pants. He zoomed passed the sandy blonde and said Carrier started to laugh again and threw the infant to him. The taller blonde caught it and kept running.

" _Cloud!_ " Leon bellowed from around the corner, presumably from their lab. Demyx nearly jumped a mile at the sudden echo and started to sprint down the hall towards the group. He passed Cloud easily and skittered to a stop, sliding along the floor and hiding behind Axel. The taller blonde grinned, which to Roxas looked far to malicious to be sane, and continued jogging down the hall at an easy pace, infant tucked under his arm by it's neck. Riku whistled innocently and decided to walk back down to his lab casually where Sora stood, gaping at them still.

"He's pissed," Cloud said calmly when he reached them and tucked his hands in his pockets effectively strangling the baby against his side.

"You smell horrible," Axel said and wrinkled his nose. Roxas took a light sniff, taking in the musk that fumed off of the other Charge.

"You'll have that," the blonde said, knowing full well he was covered in Leon's scent and not caring in the least. "He'll be a minute though. He doesn't know where I put his shorts," Cloud added. Axel snorted.

"How's he feeling?" the redhead asked.

"He's fine. Angry now, but he's fine."

"Good. I was worried."

"Oh yeah?"

"Not really."

"Me either. Once Ansem said he wasn't going to be euthanized, I was fine."

"Fantastic," Axel said and smiled.

"Did his hair grow back yet?" Demyx snickered.

"Mostly," Cloud shrugged. Roxas itched his scalp again, wondering what had just happened. He looked the taller blonde over and found the same thing he had found on Leon in the showers in quarantine only his were in a different place. Scars. Everywhere on the taller blonde's back and sides. His mind started to wander some with those memories and he tensed at the thought of seeing Leon again. It had been a while, but he still wasn't as prepared as he thought he needed to be.

" _Give me the Blank!_ " Leon barked angrily as he stomped around the corner, dressed only in his shorts. Roxas blinked a little at his appearance. Aside from his lack of clothing, his hair had only grown to his chin. His face was contorted into one of pure malice as he stalked down the hall towards them. Demyx backed away a few feet before heading off around the corner behind them and back to his own lab. Roxas squeezed his eyes shut, Leon's expression bringing back a series of painful memories. He grabbed his hair in fistfuls and tried to force them away. Axel looked to his Charge before looking to Leon and putting the pieces together quickly. He jogged towards the russet Carrier.

"What's wrong with you?" Cloud asked, looking Roxas over. The smaller blonde shook his head several times, not trusting his voice. Roxas swallowed thickly and forced his legs into motion and he stumbled back into his lab.

"Stop," Axel said and put his hand out in front of Leon. His friend glowered at him.

"Give me the Blank. You all think it's fucking _hilarious_ to toss them around like they're something to be wasted bu—"

"Yeah yeah, I know. 'Reprehensible behavior' and all that but you're freaking the shit out of Roxas so you need to calm down before you get any closer to him," Axel ordered and gave him a stern look. Leon took a second to register what he had said and he let out a breath. He ground his teeth together a bit in frustration but forced himself to stop his rage. He took a deep breath.

"Give me the Blank, and I'll leave," he said calmly.

"It's mine, I need it for a demonstration despite what you may think," the redhead said and smirked. "Hello by the way. Welcome back."

"Thank you," Leon spat.

"Can we get back to work now?" Cloud asked as he came up behind them, the Blank still dangling out from under his arm unhealthily. Leon looked at its pathetic shape and sighed again. The taller blonde handed the prosthesis off to Axel and the redhead took it by the arm.

"You both are such awful parents," Leon said and shook his head. He turned on his heel and left. Cloud waved over his shoulder to the redhead as he followed after him.

Axel quickly jogged back to his lab where Roxas had plopped himself in a chair. He was bent forward with his elbows on his knees and his fists in his hair still. The redhead tossed the Blank back into its box as he passed it and quickly made his way to his lover. His heart sank when he took in Roxas' face. The blonde had grit his teeth painfully tight and his eyes were squeezed shut still. Tears leaked out from between his lids and dripped off of his nose. Axel reached forward and placed his hands on the blonde's shoulders and Roxas yelled and bolted upright, eyes wide and frightened. The redhead's hands flew up and away defensively. His Charge looked at him, his breathing labored, for what seemed like an eternity before his expression crumbled and he held his face in his hands and heaved a quiet sob. Axel frowned and sat on the floor in front of him and reached forward for the blonde's waist and pulled him out of the chair gently and into his lap.

"Roxas," the redhead sighed quietly, rubbing his back and allowing the blonde to cry against his chest. He pushed his brows together worriedly and hugged his Charge to him. Roxas sniffled loudly and hugged him back tightly, burying his face into the redhead's neck. Axel continued to rub his back and leaned his cheek against his face. It took a few minutes but Roxas was able to calm himself and sit upright again, wiping at his face. Axel shooed his hands away and took the blonde's face between his palms and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. He laid a gentle kiss on his lips and pressed their foreheads together, watching the scared sadness play through the blonde's irises. Roxas sniffled again and he took a breath.

"I'm okay," he said quietly and gave the redhead a quick peck. Axel watched him closely for a few minutes, just to make sure, before releasing his face and sitting back. Roxas wiped the remaining moisture from his face again. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Axel said sadly.

"I'm being stupid."

"You're allowed to."

"I don't want to be. It's just… his face looked exactly like before and... I just… it was so vivid," Roxas said and held his forehead with one hand. "Had he not looked so angry I probably would've done better."

"Understandable. Demyx ran away even without going through what you did. Leon's scary when he wants to be. He's fine now, but he and Cloud are busy so I wouldn't try and bother them anytime soon."

"I don't want to anyway," he said and took another deep breath. He blinked a few times, clearing the last of the haze in his mind away before looking at Axel. "So… baby football?"

"Oh yeah. It's a great game, want to play?" the redhead said and grinned. Roxas let out a dry laugh and shook his head.

"No, but I would like an explanation."

"Well about seventy years ago the Technicians discovered a new way to make the Implants for Carriers. They sent everyone an unused Implant, or a 'Blank,' to show them what they were going to use from then on and so we could get familiar. Demyx found out that the things are pretty close to indestructible and so we were kicking one around to see if we could break it and 'baby football' developed from that. Riku and Cloud got involved and the entire scenario was just really funny because Leon and most of the women who saw us dicking around with these things thought that we were really terrible. Their reactions were _awesome_. So, every chance we get to make a new Carrier we usually order two Blanks just so we can beat the shit out of one for our amusement," Axel said and chuckled.

"That's… really terrible," Roxas said but his light laughter betrayed his sentiments. Axel shrugged.

"Leon's argument is that the Blanks are the beginning of new life and we should treat them with care. I get it, but when I punch the thing in the chest and nothing happens to it, I start thinking about it as less of a life and more of what it actually is. And what it is is a machine. There's nothing organic about it and it's basically a shell of something that looks human, but isn't. You could almost call it a doll, but a doll has a face so it's not quite the same."

"Wait, it doesn't have a face?" the blonde questioned. Axel shook his head.

"Nope. All it is is the infant body and its skin with that middle layer of lubricant that helps us change. The inside is a hollow shell which is made of carbon and calcium which is then absorbed into our skeletons and helps our bones thicken and protects the Link. The full term baby in the gestational tank will be joined with the Blank and over the course of about a week, the Blank will grow into what the Carrier is going to look like and then it can be called an Implant," the redhead explained. "That's the short story. In reality it takes a while to put the Link in the Blank, make sure everything is connected right, test the conductivity and everything it needs, and then have them join together and see if it takes."

"Yeah, I read about that stuff but I'm still going to be lost until we get to that point."

"That's fine. So long as you have the general idea, I can get us through it and teach you. Demyx is actually one of the best at putting Links inside Blanks. He's helped a lot of other Carriers, including Leon and Cloud, get theirs together when he and Zexion were having issues in the past. He takes it very seriously."

"Well that's good. At least I know he isn't completely hopeless."

"You'd be surprised how good he is at what he does. He and Leon taught me most everything I know. Riku was too busy dealing with his Charges up and dying on him so he wasn't much help in the past but he's just as knowledgeable," Axel said. He put his hands on either of the blonde's biceps and rubbed them up and down. "Anyway, are you alright? Seriously?"

"I am. Don't worry too much. Hopefully the next time I see Leon, he won't be quite as cranky and we can talk a bit," Roxas said and tried to give his lover his bravest smile. Axel gave him a worried one in return before pressing their lips together firmly. Roxas relaxed a little more and wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck loosely, combing his fingers through the other's hair gently. Axel pulled them closer and settled his arms around the blonde's waist. He had a thought and broke their kiss to voice it.

"You know what would be really awesome?"

"What's that?" Roxas asked.

"If there were two of you so one could stay in the lab and do all the work while I had my way with the other one all day long," he said and grinned. The blonde rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh but smiled a bit.

"Random question?" Roxas asked.

"Hmm?"

"How often do you have to remind yourself to be gentle with me so you don't break me in half?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well I realized how easy it is for a Carrier to literally rip someone apart," the blonde said and swallowed thickly. "I know you'd never do that to me but I wondered if you had to remind yourself at all to be gentler with me because I'm human and I'm not as strong as you."

"In the beginning I had to remind myself a lot, but I don't have to anymore, no. It's just like in Radiant Garden, the first time I went to the grocery store and picked up an apple. I squeezed it a little too much and it just exploded in my hand and a bunch of people looked at me funny. I cracked a joke about the fertilizer for the trees being filled with C4 and everyone laughed but it was the first time I realized that even just shaking someone's hand could be dangerous for me. It's a learned behavior at this point though and I don't really think about it much."

"Is that why you get all uppity about hurting me after sex?" Roxas asked and raised a brow. Axel nodded.

"The only times I really have to remind myself about it anymore is when we have sex, yes. Why?"

"No reason, really. All the talk about having two of me and sex just reminded me of things I was wondering about is all. I would say 'don't hold back' but I really like my colon being in one piece and quite honestly the idea of you just plowing me into oblivion _sounds_ okay but it scares the hell out of me. Maybe after twenty years of it, I'll develop some calluses on my ass and it won't be so bad but not now, not yet," Roxas said. Axel laughed.

"Such a delicate little vixen," the redhead cooed teasingly and the blonde gave him a glare before smacking him on his arm. Axel was undeterred and rubbed their noses together before planting a soft kiss on him. "Anyway, I would sit on the floor with you for the rest of the day but we should probably get back to work. We still have a couple weeks yet before we need to start working on the Implant so we should get as much done outside of that as we can before we have to switch gears." Roxas nodded in agreement and stood.

* * *

"Ready?" Riku asked with Leon's pill sitting between his thumb and forefinger. He and Sora were in the brunette's bedroom and surrounded by everything Zexion had suggested they would need. Sample canisters, lube, and Sora's tablet. The brunette was still horribly nervous and fidgeted in his spot a bit. His Signet sensor's sensitivity was turned up so he could take note of everything that happened to his Carrier. Hopefully he wouldn't lose focus and could get everything done that he needed to get done. He vaguely wondered what Riku's Primal would be like if they fed the cat the pill.

"I guess I am? This isn't exactly sexy," Sora huffed in reference to the stern and bland atmosphere between them. He was quite fond of the beginnings of their bedroom escapades together because Riku was very attentive to him and showered him in affection even before they did anything important. This time though, was different. Cloud had told him it wasn't playtime but work time, and Sora could understand why he felt that way. There weren't a whole lot of niceties to be had. Riku gave a shallow shrug.

"We don't have to, you know. If it upsets you we can stop."

"No, I'm fine. I just wish it wasn't so…I don't know. Unromantic? I guess I had the idea that it was going to be different and not…work."

"Well it is for work. The only reason I want to try it is because our samples are hardly surviving when before they would, for a longer period of time anyway."

"Really? You didn't tell me that."

"I know, but I wanted to confirm it before I said anything. It used to be that Jasmine and I would be able to get a fetus to last for over seven months. We were even able to transfer some into the Implants though obviously none of them survived. For us though, we've been drilling through zygotes and blastocysts like mad but they only last a few weeks. If that."

"So this is your way of giving it a push?" Sora questioned. Riku nodded.

"Just a test to see if we can get some results. I have no idea what it is that's making things go downhill for us but this little pill certainly gave everyone else who tried it a nudge in the right direction, so I wanted to try it."

"I see," the brunette said flatly.

"You don't seem quite as happy about it."

"I'm a little disappointed that it's all just for work. I guess part of me was hoping that…I don't know," Sora sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Never mind, just take it and let's get started." Riku furrowed his brows.

"No, tell me what's bothering you," he urged and set the pill on the little table next to the brunette's bed. Sora shrugged.

"I don't really understand it myself so I don't have an explanation. I'm being hypocritical. I was all hot and bothered to try it out and now that we are I'm…upset? I guess? I'm not sure what to call it," he said and laughed a bit, his cheeks reddening. "I mean, I want to switch it up a bit and I'm more than okay with being on top but…I don't think I want you to have to take a pill in order for you to let me have it. Am I weird?" he asked quietly. Riku blinked a few times and looked thoughtful.

"I don't think you're weird. If you wanted it so badly why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think you'd be okay with it," Sora said sheepishly.

"Well I'm a little apprehensive because I've never tried it before but if it's something you want, I'm alright with letting you have me," Riku said and scooted closer to him. He reached forward and ran his fingers through a few chestnut spikes and smiled.

"Really?" the brunette asked, in mild disbelief. Riku nodded.

"I told you that I love you, Sora. If this is what you want to try and it'll make you happy, I'm willing to go through with it because of my feelings. Even if you don't feel the same way, I'm still set on keeping you by my side for as long as I can so it'd behoove me to indulge you, correct?"

"You're just doing it for me then? You don't want to?"

"Forgive me for sounding like a perverted old lecher but I want you any way I can get you," Riku said and smiled. Sora blushed and wrung his hands a bit.

"No pill?" the brunette questioned.

"No pill," the Carrier responded.

"You won't laugh at me if it's awful?"

"Of course not," Riku chuckled. "Just be gentle with me. I'm a virgin."


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

"When I was younger than Roxas, I was killing people because I was told to. If he were a child I would say that his reaction is acceptable but this is bullshit," Cloud scoffed.

"We came from a different era and place, Cloud. He was just going to school minding his own business and didn't go through any of the things we did. The most blood he's ever seen was probably when he fell off his bicycle and scraped his knee at some point in his childhood," Leon said calmly.

"It's true. I don't even remember seeing him around any sort of violence in his life outside of schoolyard fits and squabbles. He's never even broken a bone before if I recall. Sora has, but he wasn't even around to see that," Axel said. The three of them were standing around in Leon and Cloud's lab discussing Roxas' issues. Cloud obviously, was not on the bandwagon while Leon and Axel were far more understanding.

"Well, if he needs something else to be a child over, let's get him in here and we can play back the time I set the orphanage on fire. _That_ was a fun day," the taller blonde Charge said sarcastically.

"Stop it," Leon said and gave him a light glare.

"No, I'm serious. This is completely unreasonable. If he's going to piss himself every time he sees you, then we might as well go out and buy some adult diapers for him. Otherwise, his dirty laundry is going to be an everyday affair. I really just want to go slap him and tell him to get over it and be a fucking man," Cloud spat and crossed his arms over his chest grumpily.

"You touch him, I break your fingers," Axel growled.

"I'll break his arms afterward," Leon added and Cloud smirked.

"Whatever you say, you two. You can both coddle him if you feel like it but I for one won't stand for it. I'm not going to give him any sympathy. It would be completely different had Squall laid a hand on him somehow, but he didn't so Roxas shouldn't have a problem. 'Oh no! Blood! Oh no! Entrails!' Give me a fucking break," Cloud huffed.

"Do you get some sick enjoyment out of being such an asshole?" the redhead asked, raising a brow.

"I'm only an asshole when I have a reason to be. I don't have an opinion of it one way or another. What I'm more concerned about is having to cater to his needs every time we pass in the fucking hallway. For that matter, what is he going to do if you ever decide to chase after a meal in your ecosystem dome? If you decide you want to chew on a boar or something is he going to run away and cry behind a tree when you rip its abdomen open? What will happen when your natural offspring need to be taught how to hunt? Is he _ever_ going to get over it?" Cloud asked.

"He has a point. Will he be able to differentiate between boar innards and human innards?" Leon asked, looking to Axel. The redhead furrowed his brows in thought.

"That's a long while from now though. I can't imagine he'll still be traumatized over this particular incident by then."

"It doesn't matter. He still comes from the same white picket fence background and he still doesn't have a grasp of the concept of violence and carnage like that. Even if nothing happens between now and when you two get to that point in your program, he still has that inexperience. I'm a little concerned about Sora in that same respect. Personally, I think you should do a trial run and take an antelope out into the field and kill it in front of him just to gauge his reaction and see if he can handle it. It's going to happen eventually, isn't it? Why not train him to _not_ be immature about it?" Cloud asked.

"Immaturity and inexperience are two different things, Cloud. No need to belittle him for something he couldn't avoid. Personally, if we could've avoided most of the things we had to go through together I would've happily traded it for Roxas' kind of blissful ignorance on the subject," Leon said. Cloud shrugged.

"My life was what it was. I couldn't have avoided it had I tried. Sorry if it wasn't picturesque for you enough," the taller blonde said flatly. Leon sighed.

"That's not what I meant. Don't be like that."

"Regardless of how envious either of you may feel of Roxas' very clean upbringing, I actually agree with Cloud's idea," Axel interjected before either of them could get legitimately irritated. "Plus, cow is getting boring," he added and grinned.

"Cow is boring, I agree," Leon added with a nod. "I'll attempt to steer clear of him until you give me the 'okay' but I can't avoid him permanently. It's just not possible even if we don't talk or do anything together."

"He wants to talk to you, that much I know. I'll let you know when he's ready to do that. If you want to tell the girls I'll be hunting soon, they're more than welcome to come and partake in the meal with me. They don't need to feel obligated to, but I mean…I can only eat so much by myself," Axel said and smiled.

"I'd join you if I could," Leon said. Axel shrugged.

"I'll save you a piece."

"How kind," the russet Carrier said and smirked.

"I'll try not to get a bunch of spit and grass all over it, too," Axel grinned. Leon chuckled.

"It's not like it's been much of a deterrent for me in the past."

"True enough."

"I almost want to sit and watch so I can smack him if he flips out," Cloud said. Leon and Axel sent him a glare and he smiled pleasantly at them.

"Don't whine if we don't invite you," the redhead said.

* * *

Riku could almost get used to the new development between him and Sora. Being on the bottom wasn't all that enjoyable but the aftermath of being cuddled was quite nice. All too often he was the one giving the cuddles. The receiving end was much better. Sora was exhausted. He had thoroughly enjoyed himself even if he felt completely inadequate. It was a short lived experience, unfortunately for him. Too much stimulation all at once made things difficult for him to keep everything at bay but his Carrier didn't hold it against him and didn't laugh, just as he had said. Riku was completely okay with it not lasting very long.

Sora couldn't sleep again. Even with being so physically drained he couldn't keep his mind in one place long enough to close his eyes. He still hadn't heard from Roxas about the trip to Riku's ecosystem. He wondered what his sibling would choose. In addition to that uncertainty, he was thinking a lot about his family. So much had changed for him he almost wanted to jump back into Radiant Garden and see if Riku was telling the truth about people forgetting him. He wanted to share his experiences with someone who was unfamiliar with their environment and see what they said about it all. He wanted his friend's opinions, Kairi's opinion, his parent's opinions, everyone else's opinions. He couldn't sit around and share his story with anyone because everyone knew it already. He considered wandering off into the city to meet some new people. Was that even allowed?

"Hey Riku?" he blurted out loud, his fingers combing through the Carrier's gossamer hair. Riku was most of the way asleep and he grunted a bit before lifting his head off of Sora's chest to look at him.

"Hmm?"

"Am I allowed to have friends? Like, friends outside of the facility?" the brunette asked curiously.

"I…" Riku trailed, forcing his brain to wake up and form the words for him. He itched his scalp a bit. "I don't mind. It isn't against any rules I don't think. All of your interactions with them would have to be outside of the facility though. I don't believe anyone who isn't a Carrier, Charge, Technician, or employee is allowed here."

"Oh. Well I don't mind that. It's not the most exciting place to be. Do you ever want to meet new people?"

"I don't think about it much, honestly."

"Really?" Sora questioned, the concept sounding very strange to him. Riku shrugged.

"I guess I'm not very much of a social butterfly."

"Would you come with me to make new friends?"

"I believe I would be a hindrance. Carriers aren't allowed in a lot of places and I assume some of the humans in the dome like to go to those places."

"Do they have some sort of test to show that you're a Carrier, though? Or could you wear some normal clothes and just walk into anywhere?"

"They don't have a test, no. I would have to change my hair and eye color most likely if I was to try and fake it. They're not exactly natural looking. I wouldn't be able to smile much or show my teeth either."

"But I like your hair and eye color," Sora protested. Riku smiled.

"I like them too, but it's the truth. It's highly illegal for me to try and disguise myself though and sneak into places I'm not supposed to be. If anyone figured it out and they called the police, I could face quarantine. Or worse. The Technicians have become very good at fabricating stories. Gone are the days of just doing something against the rules because you just wanted a little freedom. It has to be a legitimate crime anymore. If I was to go into a bar or a restaurant, they could claim I was there to steal food or stalk some drunk human with the intent to rape them."

"You'd never do that though," the brunette said and furrowed his brows.

"I know. But the Technicians don't feel the same way. I'm a beast, remember? A savage?"

"Oh, you're a beast all right," Sora said and grinned. Riku chuckled.

"For you, it's a good thing. For everyone else? Not so much."

* * *

"Why are we doing this again?" Roxas asked. He and Axel were out in the field several days later after the redhead had gotten permission for an antelope to be released to prance about the facility grounds. Its crate was in the distance, ready for someone to pull it open and release the unsuspecting animal. The Technicians had consented to this under the assumption that Leon's family was going to be teaching the cubs how to hunt. Little did they know that once they dropped the crate off, it was fair game for Axel to claim for his little experiment. The redhead himself, already in his Primal form, sat patiently and waited for Sora and Zexion to pull the heavy doors of the crate open. Demyx and Riku had been invited for the after party meal as well and they were far enough away on the other side of the field where they wouldn't interfere.

" _Well first off, cow is boring. Secondly, I want to test something_ ," Axel said; he had purposefully skipped breakfast that morning. Roxas was clueless to its true meaning. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to watch Axel rip something apart but the redhead had explained why it was important to at least get used to the idea. The blonde agreed, begrudgingly. Unbeknownst to them both, Leon and Cloud were watching as well from behind the medical storage building a short distance away. " _After we're done here and I get cleaned up we can start talking about the Blanks and all that_."

"Legitimate work, you mean?" Roxas asked grumpily.

" _Yeah, that stuff_."

"Good."

"There's three in here!" Sora called to them as he pulled himself up the side of the crate and looked into the barred windows. Zexion did the same on the opposite side and sighed.

" _Well that sounds fun. Tell them Demyx and Riku can have the other two if they care to otherwise I'll snatch them all,_ " Axel said almost giddily. Roxas was a little disturbed by his tone. He reiterated Axel's words to his brother and upon hearing that proposition, Demyx pulled himself from the grass and started to pace. Riku didn't move but was paying attention more. In the shadows, Leon started to tap his foot impatiently. Cloud smirked.

"What would the repercussions be if I changed and went to join them?" Leon asked, watching as Sora and Zexion started to undo the fastenings that were holding the crate closed.

"Your skull could crack open again as it shifts around and you'd probably hemorrhage," Cloud said calmly. Leon let out an indignant snort. "You can play in a few weeks. Don't worry."

"But they're here _now_ ," Leon protested crankily.

"It's true. But this is for Axel and Roxas more than it is for you. Did you want to leave? Is the temptation too much?"

"No. I at least want to watch."

Sora and Zexion each took a door and pulled them outward, exposing the huddle of fearful antelope inside the crate. None of the cats were visible to them but they knew something wasn't quite right with the situation. There was another set of doors behind them and Zexion and Sora went around to them and started to undo their fastenings as well. The antelope startled when the supposed wall behind them opened and they clambered around in the metal box confusedly. Zexion, having done this several times before, stood in the new opening and clapped his hands a few times. The noise echoed into the crate and the antelope stared at him with wide eyes before galloping out of the other opening and stumbling into the field. Outside of the strange new environment, nothing threatening could be seen and they stood around in a tight group, looking around.

Roxas disconnected his earpiece from Axel and the cat skulked off to the side as low to the ground as he could. The field was surrounded by several buildings, including entrances to the male and female housing areas, the medical supply building and a shed where they kept things of entertainment value like giant hard plastic balls and toys for the natural offspring. Other than those, the crate, and a few chairs scattered around it was open grass and Axel was at a distinct disadvantage sneaking around in the foliage. The grass was a little taller than what Roxas would keep in his yard if he had one, and offered little camouflage for stalking prey but the antelope were jittery and distracted. Roxas had to stand perfectly still in order to appear as another inanimate object for the antelope to ignore, as did everyone else. Demyx and Riku were hiding behind the open doors of the crate though, so they were fine to twitch impatiently.

One of the antelope spotted Axel and startled before scampering off to the side, bringing its friends with it. They headed back towards the crate and Riku crouched low, watching them come close to him from under the door. He sprung into the air when they drew close, scaring them something terrible and they faltered to the side before veering off in the other direction. Their momentary distraction was enough for Axel sneak closer before taking off across the grass at full speed. The animals scattered and Axel was hot on the heels of the slowest one and in a split second, was able to hook an enormous paw around its back leg. The animal tripped and faltered. Axel launched himself into the air and landed on its back and hind area, toppling it to the ground under his weight. Immediately the antelope started to flail and kick but it was a useless endeavor as Axel clamped his giant maw over its throat and waited for it to stop. Roxas swallowed thickly and his stomach twisted.

Demyx didn't wait any longer and bolted from his hiding spot and quickly caught up to one of the others that was nearby. The antelope weren't the fastest breed the Technicians could've found and they were no match for the cheetah as he took one down to the ground easily, it's throat in his mouth. Riku on the other hand, didn't prefer to run and traipsed over to another hiding spot closer to Leon and Cloud and flattened himself on the ground, eyeing the last animal. It was visibly shaking in its fear, its buddies having been taken down by beasts it had never seen before. It huddled behind the medical supply shed, completely unaware of Leon, Cloud, and most of all Riku. The cat snuck around silently to the other side of the building. He looked at Leon and Cloud in surprise but quickly ignored them in favor of sneaking up in front the antelope that waited for him at the back of the building. The animal was looking around nervously and Riku was able to get close enough that a quick burst of speed and a jump secured it's airway between his teeth. The antelope was dragged to the ground as Riku swung by its throat limply and he dug his snowshoe paws into its shoulder to hold steady.

Axel was quite pleased with himself and he stood, pulling the carcass across the grass easily. He was hoping for something a little bigger but he had to make do with what he had, of course. It weighed next to nothing compared to him and he pulled it along, waddling awkwardly as the body swung under him and in between his feet. He dropped it a few yards away from his Charge and went to the blonde. Roxas looked him over for a second before pulling a clump of the antelope's hair out of his lip that had gotten stuck. He connected his earpiece to Axel's Link.

" _So?_ " the cat asked.

"So what?" Roxas asked. His stomach was in knots but he tried not to think about them.

" _No opinion?_ "

"Not yet, no. You're not going to eat it?"

" _Oh I am. I just wondered what you thought. That was the whole point of this, you know. To see how you felt about it._ "

"I know. But I don't have an opinion on it just yet. My stomach hurts but that's about it."

" _Okay, well…don't freak out too much._ "

"Why would I freak out?"

" _If you don't know, then it's better to keep it that way_ ," Axel said and opened his mouth. Roxas disconnected the earpiece, a little confused. The cat left him and went back to his kill. The blonde went to take a seat in a nearby chair. Sora scampered off to find Riku. He didn't have to wait very long because the snow leopard was tugging his own antelope out from behind the medical supply building, scooting backwards. Zexion simply sat in the grass and flicked through his tablet and waited for Demyx who was already tearing into his meal shamelessly and coating his face in the animal's blood. Cloud waited by the medical supply building as Leon went off to tell the girls the food was on if they cared to join them.

The first thing Axel made a point to do was rearrange the carcass so the abdomen faced Roxas. He sincerely hoped that he wouldn't traumatize the blonde anymore but the scenario was going to play out eventually be it him or their natural offspring doing the work. He was hoping to force the first step of recovery on his lover and get things back to normal as much as they could be. Axel had only killed a couple other animals in his life and he didn't mind it all that much. He usually let his mind blank out and let his teeth go on auto-pilot when it came to start an opening in whatever body he was going to consume. He made a point to concentrate and open the antelope's abdomen first though. Normally he would ignore that part and go for a leg or a shoulder, something with more substance, but the carnage was more of the point than it was for his meal. He unceremoniously used his front paws to pull most of the abdominal cavity out into the open, spilling a puddle of entrails in his wake. He left them there and went around the back of the animal to chew on a thigh, like he wanted to, leaving the view completely unexposed to Roxas. The blonde in question paled when he saw what Axel had done.

It was a disgusting thing, but it didn't do what Leon or Axel had feared it would do. He wasn't reminded of Xemnas. He was simply grossed out. As subconscious as his lack of fear was, he wasn't looking forward to sleeping next to the redhead that evening after seeing it all. He was trying his hardest to separate the two forms, like he usually did but the view in front of him wasn't helping. His stomach twisted several more times as Axel pulled on the meat, causing the innards in front to jiggle and glisten in the sun. He swallowed thickly, willing his breakfast to stay down.

In the distance, Riku was busy pulling the hair off of his meal with Sora standing off to the side a few feet away, watching curiously. The snowy Carrier tugged at a bit of fluff and shook his head quickly to fling it away before going back for another piece. It was a strange habit, the brunette thought, but he also figured it was better for Riku's stomach. Less hair meant more meat to occupy the space. Sora's attention was pulled away for a minute before several lionesses came through the doors leading into the female facility, followed by their Charges, the natural lion cubs, and Leon. The cubs were more than happy to prance off to pick at one of the kills, the closet one being Demyx's. The cheetah looked at them for a minute and they hesitated in their advance. He jumped forward a few feet, scaring them back a bit before returning to his meal. Roxas looked the cubs over. They had grown considerably since he had seen them last though they were still young and clumsy.

The bevy of activity that ensued didn't help Roxas' stomach at all. The lionesses joined the other two males in their meals while the cubs teetered off to Axel who was more familiar and less threatening to them. He didn't give them much of a reaction when they came over and continued eating peacefully but Roxas was desperately wishing they would leave. They squished around in the pile of innards like they weren't there and pulled it all apart like some sort of grotesque toy. The little male was the worst though and decided that he wanted to open up the antelope's throat and pull everything out, creating a new scene of carnage for the blonde's stomach to revolt against. Sora crossed the grass in between the various bloody messes and stopped in front of his brother.

"You look like you're having a bad day," the brunette said, raising a brow. Riku hadn't ripped his antelope open so much and Sora had managed to handle everything quite well because of it.

"Yeah well…" Roxas said and pointed to Axel and the cubs. Sora looked to them.

"Yuck," the brunette said and paled a bit.

"Exactly."

"Lucky you?"

"Not really."

"I agree."

"I'd hate to be the maintenance people who come out and have to clean it up," the blonde said.

"Seriously," Sora agreed and pulled his eyes away from the gore. Axel had eaten his fill and pulled himself up. He nudged the cubs away before pulling on the back leg of the carcass and rolling it over. He grabbed the other back leg that was untouched and put his paws on its back before pulling the leg backwards with his jaws. The joint snapped loudly and Axel ripped and tore at the skin until the leg freed itself from the rest of the body. He looked around a bit before heading off towards Leon with the leg hanging from his teeth by the hoof. "That was awful," the brunette said and held his stomach.

"Yeah it was," Roxas agreed and grimaced. Cloud came out from his hiding spot and crossed the field to where Leon and Axel were. Roxas raised a brow, unaware that he was there in the first place. Leon had taken the leg from the tiger and held it out to his Charge. Cloud looked at it blankly for a minute, they exchanged a few words, the taller blonde rolled his eyes, but he took it and held onto it. Axel headed back to Roxas, licking the blood from his lips as he went. His Charge didn't look to be enjoying himself, but so long as he wasn't reduced to tears, Axel was fine with that. Sora turned away from the legless carcass the cubs were ripping apart greedily. The blonde looked to his Carrier. "All done?" he asked. Axel couldn't respond but padded his way towards the doors to answer the question.

* * *

Axel scrubbed at his skin harshly. Most of the mess he had made didn't translate over to his Implant but some of it did and he was having a hard time getting the remnants to disappear. He settled for picking the flakes off of his skin with his fingernails. He had flossed and brushed his teeth several times to get the rest of it out of him and by the time the entire process was finished and he was squeaky clean again, all he wanted to do was take a nap and digest. Overall, he was happy with the way Roxas handled it. It was a good sign and the fact that Leon was there milling about and the blonde wasn't fearful of him was even better. Then again, the redhead didn't know how much Roxas had paid attention to Leon. For all he knew the blonde could've not even noticed he was there. He exited the bathroom expecting Roxas to be there on his bed waiting for him but he wasn't.

"Roxas?" he called.

"In here," the blonde responded from the Catalogue terminal room. The redhead raised a brow and wrapped his towel around himself before heading in.

"Want to take a nap with me?" Axel asked. Roxas was reading something on the Charge Forum again. He shook his head.

"I thought we were going to get back to work. I was just waiting for you to finish showering."

"Oh yeah…but a nap seems so much nicer right now; food coma and all that. Just a little one?"

"You can, I'm not going to," the blonde said flatly. Axel furrowed his brows.

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

"Are you ever going to look at me? Or are we going to hold this entire conversation with you staring at the Forum?" the redhead asked. Roxas looked up at him. His eyes averted themselves a few times before they settled on a point over Axel's shoulder. The Carrier frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I just need a bit to separate the Implant from the Primal again," the blonde said quietly. "Go ahead and nap. I need to distract myself."

"…Oh," the redhead deadpanned, his heart sinking. It hadn't occurred to him that his little experiment would've done more harm than good outside of things relating to Xemnas. Regardless of the current situation, it was still something that Roxas needed to get used to. Even if the process of teaching the natural offspring how to hunt was years and years away, it may take the blonde just as long to get accustomed. The sooner the better though. Axel snuck off into the bedroom proper and tossed his towel aside and shimmied himself under the covers. His brows knit together worriedly as he thought about what damage he might have caused. Roxas made to leave the room shortly after he lay down and Axel watched him carefully. The blonde's face was blank but his mind was reeling. He left quietly, the silence making the redhead's chest hurt.

To Roxas, it wasn't so much the fact that Axel had killed and eaten something in front of him than it was his own mind turning against him. He had never considered Axel's Primal as anything else other than part of his work and an additional companion. Truthfully, he liked Axel's Primal form and they had fun together even if what most of what they did was work. The display he had seen though cemented into his mind that Axel's Primal is something more than all that. It's an animal; something capable of acting and eating like an actual wild tiger, even if it had a human brain to offset the instincts. He had never thought about it like that; an animal, a beast, something inhuman. Added into that, the fact that it was part of Axel himself, the part that the blonde loved, it was a little unsettling.

He was always aware of both halves but he never had any experience to link the two together so wholly. Axel having to shower afterward and wanting to nap because he was so full really hadn't helped Roxas separate the two again. It was always 'Axel is a kind of weird guy that has extra pieces parts,' and 'this is Axel's Primal, it's different,' but never one and the same. He didn't know how to feel about it. But he did know he needed to be by himself in order to sort things out again.

* * *

It was two hours before Axel managed to wake up again. He figured a longer nap was okay since Roxas didn't seem too interested in being around him for the moment. He was a little upset by that, but he also understood. The human psyche was a fragile thing and one that was less than thirty years old was even more so. He ran his fingers through his hair a few times and remembered he fell asleep on it wet. He sighed. It was going to be awful. He made his way into the bathroom and glared at himself in the mirror as his fiery locks stuck up in hundreds of odd directions. He forced a brush through it before pulling it back into a ponytail and being done with it. He got dressed and made his way to the lab.

He furrowed his brows. Roxas wasn't there. He tried the cafeteria but it was empty. The pool was unoccupied as well. There were a bunch of people everywhere else but not the one that mattered most to him. He eventually stumbled upon the blonde's room and knocked on the door. No one answered. It was locked as well and he considered pulling a Demyx and kicking it inward but decided against it. He put his ear against the door and closed his eyes, listening carefully. Silence. He sighed and idly stuck the tip of his index finger in his mouth for a thoughtful chew. He decided to ask around.

"Demyx?" the redhead questioned as he pushed the doors to Zexion and the sandy blonde's lab open. The Charge inside was vigorously scrubbing at a streak of red that still clung to his lover's face from the antelope and Axel raised a brow.

"Yeah?" Demyx asked, squinting at him with only one eye since the other was being assaulted with rubbing alcohol and a cloth. He snorted. "Nice hair," he said. Axel rolled his eyes and waved a dismissive hand.

"Whatever. Have you guys seen Roxas?"

"Nope," Demyx said. Zexion shook his head to corroborate and continued scrubbing. The sandy blonde let out a frustrated mewl. "Ow, Zex. Not so rough."

"Maybe this will teach you not to submerge your entire face in a carcass next time," Zexion huffed in response. Demyx pouted. Axel smirked a bit but left.

"Riku?" he asked when he made his way into said Carrier's lab. Riku was working quietly but Sora was nowhere to be seen. His friend turned to him.

"Yes?" Riku asked.

"Have you seen Roxas?" Axel questioned. The other shook his head.

"Not since we came inside."

"Oh. Where's Sora?"

"He decided to wander around in the city. Perhaps he convinced Roxas to go with him, but I don't know for sure."

"Aren't you worried about him?"

"Not really. He's social and quirky, but he's not stupid. He probably won't go very far. He isn't exactly the most athletic and he doesn't really like walking all that much."

"Ah. Okay. Thanks," Axel said and took his leave. Leon and Cloud's lab was empty when he made it there and he sighed dejectedly. They probably wouldn't know where his lover was either, now that he thought about it. Leon had been distracted by the giant hunk of antelope the redhead had presented him with and was probably forcing Cloud to prepare it for him at their residence. Axel considered the probability of Roxas following after Sora into the city and he frowned. He didn't want to chase after them through such a place.

* * *

Sora plopped onto a bench on the side of the road with a tired sigh. He had made it to the city center and grumbled to himself about how fat he was; which wasn't all that much but he certainly felt like he weighed five hundred pounds. He sat and watched the people pass by and looked at the shops and places that were around. There were a few Technicians in their white lab coats milling about and talking over coffee, but everyone else looked completely normal to him. It was an odd sensation. There was life outside of the facility. He had forgotten about that. Riku had given him his Credit card to spend on whatever he wished and he looked at his watch and took in the time. He could do dinner.

There was a small bistro-looking building not too far away and he thought it was as good a place as anywhere else. He strolled inside and looked around at the various faces to be found. There was a small bar area where there were several younger people sitting and chatting away over drinks and immediately his eyes zeroed in on a familiar head of blonde hair. He looked the blonde over a bit, furrowing his brows in confusion. If Roxas had wanted to come with him, he should've said something. It would've made the walk there much less boring. The only problem was that Roxas had his ears full of holes with elaborate earrings and things handing from them. His clothing was grungy at best and he looked generally disheveled. He was smiling and talking away with the people around him though and Sora timidly made his way to the blonde, hoping he wouldn't get punched for disturbing him.

"…Roxas?" Sora questioned and the blonde turned around in his seat to look at him. The brunette's heart dropped. The person he had approached looked almost exactly like his brother, but it wasn't him.

"Who's that?" the new blonde asked, his tone sounding annoyed. Sora gaped at him.

"You look just like my brother, I'm sorry. I thought you were him for a minute," the brunette sputtered, looking the blonde over. The girls sitting at the bar with him started to giggle. Now that he was close, he could take in the blonde's appearance properly. Roxas' face and this new person's face were nearly identical save for a few details only Sora (and possibly Axel) would notice. The new blonde's hair stuck up strangely just like Roxas' as well but his demeanor and choice in style were vastly different. Roxas was far more…clean. The newcomer's nails were painted black and his earrings were mostly sharp points and spikes that stuck out of his face threateningly. He had an eyebrow piercing as well as a septum piercing through his nose. His clothing was baggy and hung off of his small frame limply save for the black t-shirt that clung to his torso. He had about six different belts and chains hanging from his waist that clattered together as he moved in his seat and his jeans were faded and torn in several places. Everything about him screamed 'I'm an undesirable individual' and Sora wasn't sure if the spiked rings on the blonde's fingers were for decoration or for punching people.

"Well I'm not," the blonde said blandly.

"Right, I get that now. Sorry," Sora said quickly. The newcomer looked him over and eyed the watch on his wrist. The brunette put his hands behind his back, to keep the blonde for trying to steal it from him.

"Nice watch," the blonde said. "Can I see?"

"Sorry, it's important to me and I don't like people touching it."

"Why? Because your Carrier said you shouldn't?" the blonde asked snidely. Sora's eyes widened.

"Wh—"

"I know what you are. You're a Charge, aren't you?" he asked and the girls at the bar exchanged looks with each other.

"Yes?" the brunette said questionably and gave him a suspicious look over.

"Perfect," the blonde said and smiled. Sora quirked a brow at him. The newcomer pulled out his Credit card and handed it to the man behind the bar to pay for his drinks. Once he was finished, he gulped the last of whatever was in his glass and pushed himself off of the stool. "Let's take a walk," he said and nudged Sora out of the building and back into the street.

"No thanks, I think I'll just be on my way," the brunette said and tried to take off in the opposite direction from the blonde. The stranger's hand shot out and caught his arm though and Sora hesitated.

"I'm not going to kill you, kid. I just want to talk."

"No thanks. I'm good."

"Don't be like that. Here, how about this? My name is Ventus. Now we're not strangers anymore."

"Um, yeah we are," Sora said flatly.

"Well what would it take for you to just sit and talk with me for fifteen minutes?"

"Fuck if I know dude, but get your hands off of me," the brunette said and pulled his arm free.

"Feline or canine?" Ventus asked abruptly. Sora blinked.

"What?"

"Is your Carrier from the feline or canine facility?"

"Feline."

"Beautiful."

"You're creeping me out, what do you want?" Sora asked and gave him a glare. Ventus laughed.

"I want a lot of things. But most of all, I've always wanted to be a Charge."


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

For as weird as he was, Ventus was actually a very interesting individual. He and Sora strolled around the city block a few times, and by the third lap, the brunette's uneasiness had died considerably. The blonde described himself as a Carrierphile. It wasn't an actual word and was mostly accepted as slang amongst he and his vast social circle but Sora found the concept intriguing.

The Technicians never went around their current plane of existence looking for Charges. They traveled in order to find them and thereby saved the integrity of the human populace. After the Great War, humans, much like all other forms of life, had had a major population decrease. In order to keep the human on human bond strong, the Technicians decided against looking into the current population for Charges. If people became too involved in the Carrier Program, their overall population could become even narrower with the restrictions the programs had as far as reproduction went. Every Carrier needed a Charge after all, and Ventus was betting that there was a Carrier for every human person in the world.

He had his hopes set. He wanted to be a Charge more than anything. The entire program was fascinating to him and he spent most of his young life studying up on its inner workings so that maybe, at the very least, he could be a Technician. He had applied of course, but he was promptly rejected. Apparently the cranky old men that made up the Committee didn't like his appearance or his mediocre Biology and Chemistry abilities. Be that as it may, Ventus had his heart set. He wanted to be involved with Carriers so badly, he had even moved out of his parent's home and came to live in Dome 813, where he could possibly interact with them more. He had lived there for three years already and didn't happen upon one. Sora felt bad for him. Ventus' expressions and how animated he became when he spoke of the Carriers was a very convincing display in terms of his sincerity.

"I don't know what to tell you," the brunette said when they took a seat at a small table set up outside of a small café. He had spent a couple hours talking to the blonde and listening to his story. Apparently, there were a lot more people out there that felt the same way as Ventus and the idea of bringing outsiders in, people who were already versed in their world, was all too interesting.

"Do you think you could bring your Carrier here? So I could meet him?" the blonde asked excitedly. His eyes glittered and betrayed his rough and tumble exterior. It was an amusing trait that Sora never found on his brother's features. Their demeanors weren't similar in the least even if their faces were. The brunette wondered what Axel would think of Ventus.

"Well, I could ask I suppose. I don't mind, it but it's really up to him," Sora said. Ventus nodded hastily.

"I understand completely. You said I look like your brother? Is he a Charge too?"

"Yeah he is. You guys could be twins, it's really creepy," the brunette said and laughed a bit. Ventus looked thoughtful.

"You know what would be really funny? If I could switch places with him for like… an hour and see what his Carrier does. Do you think he'd notice?"

"Definitely. Even if we dressed you in his clothes and you took out all of your piercings, you still wouldn't smell like Roxas enough to fool him. I actually considered telling him about you though and I want to know what he would do if he saw you. I really think you'd be surprised at how identical you guys look."

"Strange. Here I thought I was pretty different. Turns out I got some guy from another dimension harshing on my look," Ventus snorted, almost spitefully. Sora smirked.

"We won't know anything unless we try, right? I could bring them here if you want. Probably not today though, it's getting sort of late," the brunette said, looking at his watch. The sun was beginning to set but it was later than what he thought it was. Hopefully Riku wouldn't become worried.

"You walking back?" the blonde questioned. Sora nodded. "Psh! Fuck that, I'll drive you," Ventus said and dug in his coat pocket, the sound of clinking metal ringing out. He produced a set of keys and jingled them at the brunette.

"I'm not sure that's allowed, actually. You going up there, I mean. Not me getting a ride. Even halfway would be awesome."

"I can just drop you off outside. Maybe as repayment, you can drag your Carrier outside and we can say 'hello,'" the blonde said and stood from the seat, giving Sora a wink. The brunette chewed on a fingernail in thought. He didn't seem the harm but he would have to ask Riku and make sure Ventus stayed outside. He considered the possibilities as they walked all the way to a small parking area that was perched behind a strip of shops. Ventus' car had seen better days and was quite small and compact. It only had the front cabin and couldn't seat more than two people at a time. Sora plopped into the only available seat next to the blonde and scowled a little at the vast amount of what could only be described as 'crap.' He shuffled around the stuff in the space where his feet were supposed to fit and settled for simply placing them on top of everything rather than worrying about crushing anything. "Sorry for all the shit," Ventus said and laughed a little.

"It's okay, my room is a mess most of the time," the brunette said. The car started and sounded healthy enough, despite its rough exterior. Ventus knew exactly where he was going and as they drove Sora idly looked through the pile at his feet, taking in all the oddities. There was a plethora of papers he could see as well as a lot of leather straps and chains. He didn't want to be rude and so he only looked at it all but he was a little unsettled by the collars, handcuffs, and the single syringe he could see. Bondage and possibly drugs? Sora wondered what he had gotten himself into.

* * *

Axel sighed. He had searched all over and still couldn't find his Roxas. His Signet wasn't alerting him to anything so he knew at the very least that the blonde was healthy, but it was still horribly depressing. It was getting dark and he was quickly becoming more worried as the minutes ticked by. He had rearranged his hair enough to where it lay like it usually did and was able to pull out the rubber band that kept it back. He paced a bit in front of the entrance that led out towards the city, considering going out and searching for his lover but he was unsure. That's when he saw a really beat up car pull up and come to a stop out front. Sora pulled himself out of the passenger seat and he ducked his face into the door and told the driver something before shutting it and jogging towards the doors. The driver got out but closed his door and leaned against it, his back to the facility. Axel's heart flipped when he saw the familiar head of blonde hair and he pulled the door open for Sora, only to bypass the brunette and make his way outside.

"Axel wai—!" Sora tried to say but the door cut off his words as it swung closed. Axel ignored him and rounded the vehicle with a smile. His expression blanked when he took in the blond before him.

"Roxas?" the redhead questioned. Ventus looked to him with a raised brow.

"Nope. You're the second one to call me that today. He must be a popular guy, or ridiculously hot, just like me. I take it you're his Carrier?" the unfamiliar blonde asked. Axel furrowed his brows and approached him, looking him over with a scrutinizing eye.

"Axel!" Sora called, having come back outside. The redhead's gaze flicked to him briefly before going back to Ventus' face. The brunette made it to them quickly. "Axel, this is Ventus. Ventus, this is Axel. He's Roxas' Carrier."

"With how much he's staring at me, I would say he is," Ventus said and gave the Carrier a pleasant smile. Axel's mind was going a mile a minute and he stood upright again. Definitely not Roxas. But oh so interesting. Ventus was actually a couple inches taller than his lover though their faces were quite similar. The one before him was probably a few years older than Roxas as well, though the redhead couldn't say for sure. Axel reached forward and took Ventus' wrist and pulled him around the car and towards the doors. The blonde, a little surprised, was quickly filled with anxious excitement. Sora gaped at them as they cleared the doors without him. He ran after them.

"Demyx!" Axel yelled, the volume echoing down the halls and startling his new blonde discovery. Ventus watched Axel move with silent astonishment. Such a marvel of science he was and yet he was so human at the same time. Fascinating. The pair garnered many confused looks as they quickly traversed the halls, heading towards Axel and Roxas' lab. Much to Ventus' curious delight, he spotted dozens of other Carriers, all of them dressed in their boring beige garb.

"Yeah?" Demyx called back as he rounded the corner, looking around for Axel. He saw the redhead tug a very flustered and very strange looking Roxas around the corner and he jogged after them, and nearly collided with Sora in the process. "Whoa!" he said, narrowly escaping the impact.

"Sorry!" Sora said and followed after Axel. He didn't even want to think of how much trouble he would get in if anyone important figured out Ventus was there. Demyx joined them all in Axel and Roxas' lab and he froze.

"Holy crap! What did you do to your face, Roxas?" the sandy blonde asked and scampered over to Ventus and took his cheeks between his hands. He moved the blonde's face around and inspected all of the pieces of metal sticking out of it.

"Demyx, stop it. That's not Roxas," Axel said and quickly moved to the storage cabinet and rifled through its contents. Ventus was speechless. The lab was beyond comprehension and the sandy blonde before him was even more interesting. Demyx's hands were so incredibly soft; it was hard to believe his skin was synthetic. He gaped at the Carrier in amazement. Demyx released his face and waved a hand in front of the blonde's wide eyes.

"Hello in there not-Roxas," he said and grinned. Ventus blinked a few times and gave the Carrier a once over. "I know I'm sexy but you don't have to stare," Demyx twittered. Axel sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Um…hi," Ventus said blandly, his brain slowly stopping all rational thought.

"You smell funny," Demyx said cheerfully and smiled.

"That's a little rude," Sora huffed. "Where's Roxas? I want them to meet," he asked.

"I have no idea where he is," the redhead said sadly.

"What? Why not?" the brunette persisted.

"He's scared of me, I think. I haven't seen him for a while now," Axel said and rummaged through the cabinet some more, his frustration growing as he couldn't find what he was looking for. Sora scowled. It wasn't like Roxas to leave without saying anything.

"Did you ask Tifa?" Demyx asked, looking to Axel. The redhead's digging ceased suddenly.

"No. No I didn't. I'm going to feel really stupid if he's with her and I've been flipping shits for the last five hours over nothing," Axel sighed. He abandoned his task at the cabinet and went to the Catalogue terminal to give Tifa a call. Demyx snickered at his friend's inability to multitask.

"Why did you bring him in here?" Demyx asked and stuck a thumb in Ventus' face.

"Hmm? Oh. I want to test something," the redhead said and turned in his seat to look at them. "Do you mind giving me some of your blood?" he asked Ventus. The blonde blinked a few times, his focus mildly returning.

"I guess not? Don't touch it though. It's probably full of germs," he said and gave them a wry smile. Axel shrugged.

"Demyx?" the redhead asked. The sandy blonde sighed.

"Yeah yeah," he agreed and went to resume Axel's search in the cabinet. Sora itched his scalp confusedly.

"I'm going to go get Riku," the brunette said and Axel waved his hand to see him off. Tifa's face appeared on the Catalogue terminal's screen and Ventus' jaw dropped as he took in her appearance. She was _hot_.

"Tifa? Have you seen Roxas?" Axel asked anxiously, getting right to the point and ignoring any sort of greeting. The woman nodded.

"He and Zack went out, why?" she asked. Axel let out a relieved sigh.

"He didn't tell me where he was going and he's been gone for hours. I was getting worried."

"Oh, well he was here for a couple hours just visiting and it seemed like something was bothering him so Zack took him out. They're probably getting drunk right now if I know him well enough," Tifa said and grinned. Axel quirked a brow.

"Huh. Weird. Well hopefully they make it home in one piece."

"I'm sure they will. Zack isn't _that_ irresponsible."

"Says you."

"Right, says me," she said and gave him a knowing wink. Axel chuckled. They continued their idle chatter while Demyx sighed at the cabinet and went off into the storage closet in the back of the lab. Ventus was left to look around at everything he could see. Mostly Tifa and her breasts but he did take a second to look at all the machinery. He knew the names of the machines but never saw any pictures of them to put the name to the face so to speak, so he didn't really know what they were. Sora came back through the doors with Riku in tow and Ventus was left gaping again. Riku, for all intents and purposes was also hot; prettier than Tifa if he had to compare them on that level.

"Now Sora," Riku sighed once he saw Ventus. The brunette stopped walking and let go of his hand.

"It's Axel's fault! I wanted him to wait outside but Axel grabbed him and dragged him in here," Sora huffed. Ventus went to the brunette.

"He's your Carrier?" the blonde asked and Sora nodded.

"Riku, Ventus. Ventus, Riku," he said.

"Wow," the blonde gasped as he looked the snowy Carrier over. Riku gave him a polite smile before bypassing him and going to Axel. The redhead was interrupted mid-sentence by his friend and Riku leaned over his shoulder and started to speak angrily into his ear. Axel's brows furrowed together.

"Oh calm down," Axel dismissed and nudged him back a few feet. Tifa looked curious on the monitor. Riku sent him a glare.

"You can't bring outsiders in here, Axel. This is a serious problem," Riku said sternly. There was a fumbling crash from the storage closet.

"Damn it Axel!" Demyx yelled from the tiny space and a stuffed Tigger came flying out of the door and landed on the tile noiselessly. The sandy blonde stumbled out grumpily with a box in his hands. "I'm not cleaning it up," he huffed and went to an exam table. Axel rubbed his brows; there were too many people bitching at him at once. He bid his goodbyes to Tifa and ended their transmission.

"I just want to test something," the redhead said, looking to Riku.

"It doesn't matter what you want to do. He's not allowed to be here. Did you need me to call Leon? I'm pretty sure he'll share my opinions."

"And he'll do what? Show up and bitch at me too? Goody," Axel huffed and stood. He went to Ventus and nudged him back towards the exam table Demyx was at. "Sit. Coat off please," the redhead said and the blonde nodded before pulling himself onto the table. Riku sighed and ran his fingers through his hair crankily. Ventus shrugged off his oversized coat.

"Whoa," Demyx said with a sly grin. Sora blinked at him. Ventus was in extremely good shape. If he wasn't so thin and lithe in stature the brunette could almost say that he was 'bulky' but the word didn't quite fit. Not only that but one of his arms was covered in an entire sleeve of tattoos while the other was only about half done. The scrolling pictures on his skin curled up into his shirt and when he sat forward, the back of his shirt rode up a little and Sora could see the tattoos continued all the way down his back. Ventus looked between the brunette and Demyx.

"Problem?" he asked they both shook their heads. Axel raised a brow as he took it all in but decided against asking questions. He went to the cabinet and retrieved a pair of latex gloves and a few sterile moist towelettes. He pulled the gloves on. Demyx pulled open the box and rummaged around before producing a package of clean syringes. He pulled it open before handing one off to Axel and the redhead tore open a towelette.

"I would ask 'are you okay with needles?' but I think that'd be a bit redundant," Axel said as he took one of Ventus' arms and wiped the crook of his elbow clean with the towelette. The blonde smirked.

"Just a little," he agreed. "Why do you want my blood, now?"

"Do you know anything about the way Carriers and Charges work?" the redhead asked calmly. He tore open the packaging of the syringe and its accompanying needle. He joined the two.

"I know more than you think I do, actually," Ventus said.

"Well good," Axel said and jabbed the blonde in the arm and sucked out whatever he could get from wherever he could get it from. Ventus didn't even flinch but Sora's stomach churned. "I've always been curious about how the compatibility between Charges and Carriers is determined. The Technicians go out and find us Charge candidates and we choose them from a list, but no one ever says how the Charges got there in the first place outside of possible potential for our work. Roxas, whom you've heard about, is extremely academic and a harsh personality to break through while his brother, Sora, is extremely personable but not the most…" the redhead trailed, looking for a word that wouldn't insult the brunette who was standing two feet away.

"I'm not the sharpest tack in the box," Sora finished for him with a grin. Axel smiled.

"I didn't want to say anything," he said but the brunette shrugged it off.

"Eh, I know my limits," Sora said.

"Anyway, I was wondering if the compatibility is determined by personality, aesthetics, mental capabilities or something else because honestly, the explanation the Technicians provide for us doesn't really meet all the criteria," Axel continued.

"And what does that have to do with me?" Ventus asked.

"You look almost identical to Roxas, which is the aesthetic part. What were your grades like?"

"I was a B-C student for the most part. Not the best but not the worst."

"See Roxas got straight A's but he had the personality of a brick for the better part of half of our relationship," Axel said and capped the syringe. "You're much more pleasant than he was on our first meeting."

"Oh, thanks?" Ventus asked with an unsure smile. Axel shrugged.

"You seem like, to me, the bridge between Sora and Roxas' type of person and I want to put you into our database just to see if your DNA would come up as compatible to someone. Possibly even Riku or myself. After all, the DNA is what needs to be compatible for our program, not the people involved though it does help if they are. A decent relationship makes it easier for the Charge to comply to what needs to be given to the program. You have enough of Roxas in your appearance to see if the compatibility is only skin deep or not in terms of your genetic makeup."

"I'm sorry," the blonde said and gave a dry laugh. "This is a little surreal for me. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this stuff. Wow…" he trailed and ran a hand through his hair. Axel smiled and went to retrieve a sample canister.

"You can't be serious, what if someone finds him in there?" Riku asked in disbelief.

"He's not going to stay," Axel said and dug the little plastic cup out of the canister. He uncapped the cup and the syringe and emptied the needle's contents into it before putting it all back together. Ventus was a little sad with the idea of not being left in the database but at the very least he'd be able to figure out if he was even capable of becoming a Charge. Demyx went to him and pressed an adhesive bandage onto the little hole the needle had left on his arm. Axel pulled off the latex gloves and tossed them and the syringe into the garbage. He went to the Extractor and shoved the sample canister into the retrieval unit. The machine went about scraping the little plastic cup clean and depositing Ventus' blood on a clean sample dish. After a few seconds of waiting for the automated process to finish, Axel brought his eyes to the microscope.

"Tell me if you find any aliens in there," Ventus said.

"No aliens, but did you know you have HIV?" Axel asked as he fished around, adjusting the strength of the lenses to find various pieces parts of things.

"Yeah I know," the blonde said flatly. Sora's jaw dropped.

"They have pills for that, you know," the redhead said.

"If I could afford them, I would take them," Ventus said.

"Ah, I see. No insurance?"

"Not in my line of work, no."

"What do you do?" Sora asked. The blonde let out a wry laugh.

"Ask me how I got HIV and you'll answer your own question," he said, looking over his shoulder at the brunette. Sora furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to ask but Riku's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Sharing needles or sex, Sora, think about it," the snowy Carrier said. Sora's mind flipped back to the contents of Ventus' car and he paled a bit. Demyx looked thoughtful. Ventus wasn't offended by their line of questioning or whatever conclusions they came to. He watched Axel carefully.

"How old are you?" Sora asked.

"Twenty-five," Ventus said. The brunette's heart dropped. He turned to Riku.

"There're pills for HIV? Like a cure?" he asked. Riku nodded.

"There are. They're very expensive though without insurance. All of the older sexually transmitted diseases are curable now. There're newer, much worse ones out there that we don't have a cure for but HIV and AIDS are almost like having the flu anymore. If left untreated it can kill, but it's an easy fix otherwise," the Carrier said simply. Sora furrowed his brows together sadly. Ventus had heard all of this already and wasn't upset. He sat quietly, letting them talk as if he wasn't there.

Axel went about slicing open the blonde's red blood cells and depositing a large amount of cytoplasm onto a clean sample dish. He pressed the button and sent the glob over to the Pre-Gestational Prep Center but didn't bother with putting it in a synthetic egg before sending it over to the Gestational Terminal. There, he let the machine analyze the sample and compile a genetic map for Ventus. The process would take a while to complete and he let it run itself while he went back to the group. Sora looked utterly crushed with the proposition that someone he knew would probably die within the next few years simply because he didn't have any insurance to purchase himself a cure for his ailment. Demyx still looked thoughtful and the redhead raised a brow at him.

"Something on your mind?" he asked and the sandy blonde looked to him. He shrugged.

"Just thinking," Demyx said.

"About?"

"You really want to know?" the sandy blonde asked with a wide grin.

"Yeah," Axel said with a smirk.

"Roxas sandwiches. A couple of bananas with a big ol' Axel strawberry in the middle," Demyx said. Ventus burst into laughter.

" _Wow_ , that wasn't completely suggestive at _all_ ," he sputtered sarcastically. Axel seemed to ponder this carefully.

"That was awful," Riku said and ran a hand over his face. Sora's cheeks pinkened and he scowled.

"What's so funny?" a familiar voice rang out as the lab doors were pushed open. Ventus' laughter died quickly and he gaped at the blonde standing in the doorway. Axel's heart flipped again.

"Roxas! You came back," the redhead said. He desperately wanted to rush over and scoop the blonde up and smother him into oblivion but he remembered what had made his lover leave in the first place and that kept him at bay.

"Of course I did. What, did you think I'd just permanently leave without saying anything?" Roxas asked, his brows furrowed together. He scanned the room and his eyes fell on Ventus. "Whoa. _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_ , much?" he asked, giving his near twin a once over. Ventus pushed himself off the table, the copious amounts of metal hanging from his waist clinking together as he moved.

"This is weird," Ventus said, glaring at the younger blonde a bit. Roxas glared at him right back.

"What the fuck, Axel? I'm gone for a few hours and you try to find a replacement or something?" Roxas spat, shifting his gaze to the redhead in question. Axel's mouth dropped open and his hands flew up defensively.

"What? No!" he gasped.

"It's my fault, I guess," Sora said. "I met him in the city and I brought him here. Axel wanted to test something and Ventus let him."

"Ventus, huh?" Roxas asked.

"Roxas, huh?" Ventus said, mocking his condescending tone. The younger blonde flexed his jaw in his annoyance before scoffing.

"Fucking freak," he spat and stomped out of the lab. Ventus scowled and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well isn't he just a ray of sunshine?" the older blonde asked. Axel groaned and held his face in his hands.

"Now you know how he treated Axel for, like he said, the better part of half their relationship," Demyx said matter-of-factly. Ventus turned to him.

"Really? Why would you put up with that bullshit?" he asked, looking to the redhead.

"He doesn't do it anymore," Axel sighed.

"To you anyway," Sora said flatly. He looked to Ventus. "Don't get me wrong, I love my brother and everything but he's really bad when it comes to new things and people who don't fit into his mold."

"Clearly," Ventus snorted.

"Plus, I think he's drunk," the brunette said. All eyes turned to him and he smiled. "He gets angry real easy when he's drunk. I have a hard time believing that he would automatically jump to thinking Axel was cheating on him if he was sober."

"Oh," Axel said. Demyx nudged him with a doofy smile.

"Drunk sex is awesome sex, go go!" the sandy blonde urged and the redhead sent him a glare. Ventus snorted before laughing again.

"I probably shouldn't disrupt anything else by sticking around," the older blonde said. "Get back to me on those results, yeah?" he asked, motioning to the Gestational Terminal that was still working away. Axel nodded before making his way out of the lab.

"I'll walk you out," Sora said.

* * *

By the time Axel found Roxas again, it was pitch black outside. The blonde had found his way to the pool. He was sitting on the water's edge, listening to the waterfall with his feet in the shallow end. His arms were folded on his knees and his chin rested on them as he thought. The redhead was cautious in his approach and sat next to him and stuck his feet in the water. The blonde smelled a little like a bar, but he couldn't tell if he was properly drunk or not.

"Roxas?" Axel asked quietly.

"What?" the blonde grumped. The redhead winced a little at his tone.

"I wasn't trying to replace you."

"Why would you even give someone like that the time of day? The guy looks like he was hit by bus filled with terrible. He obviously has issues."

"Sora's the one who brought him to my attention. I just wanted to test something."

"Oh yeah? It's scientific, is it?"

"Yes, actually. I wanted to see what it is that the Technicians look for when they do a compatibility match up. He looks like you but isn't as academic as you are and your personalities are different but I wondered what would happen if I tossed him in the system anyway. Would his profile match yours based on his genetic outsides or his insides and that sort of thing."

"And if he does come out as a compatible match for you?"

"Then good for him? It wouldn't change anything."

"Then why do it in the first place?"

"Because I'm curious," Axel said. Roxas sat up and looked to him grumpily.

"And if you figure out the only reason you and I are 'compatible' is because some Technician thought it was hot for a redhead and a blonde to be together? What if the entire system isn't actually based on anything concrete in terms of personality or mental capabilities? What then?" the blonde asked. His breath smelled of alcohol but his coherent actions weren't telling Axel that he was plastered; it confused the redhead. The only other person he had been around while they were drunk was Cloud and all he did was sit in a chair quietly and glare at things.

"Well what about it? Are you telling me that everything we've done would be a lie to you then? I didn't think that mattered. So long as you're happy and the program is working, is it really such an issue?" he asked. Roxas sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"What… what if Ventus comes up as a match, for whatever reason, and his genetics work better with yours than mine do. Like…what if…what if his samples are stronger than mine and he can give better results as far as the whole Carrier production goes? What if his genetics turn the entire trial and error process into a non issue? You guys could be so 'compatible' that you could increase output way more than I ever could."

"Roxas, I think you're thinking too much into this."

"No, I had enough time to think about it and draw my own conclusions. I was outside the doors for a while. I heard a lot. The DNA is the only thing that needs to be compatible after all, right? I only need to comply enough and give you what you want. Ventus seems more than happy to hand over whatever you want from him. He let you, a virtual stranger, take a sample of his blood after all. I wouldn't do something like that, that's for sure," the blonde spat. Axel paled and his mind blanked. "Maybe your guys' compatibility is deeper than yours and mine is. You two got along fine right away, just like Sora and Riku did. Isn't that how it's supposed to work?"

"Wh—that's not…" the redhead sputtered.

"Perhaps our chemistry isn't all that deep. I bet if you decided you wanted to kill and antelope in front of Ventus, he'd be fine with it and would be able to get on with his business easily enough. Unlike me. Sora did fine with Riku and Zexion was just able to ignore it. Why can't I? Why am I having such an issue separating your two halves and keeping myself sane?"

"Because you're an innocent person? Ventus has _HIV_ , Roxas. He pretty much admitted that he was a whore to us or that he does drugs to some degree. He's obviously been around the block a few more times than you have in terms of the bad stuff so he might just get off on watching animals rip each other apart."

"Sora isn't like that though. Why is it okay for him but not for me?"

"I have no idea. You heard him admit he isn't all that intelligent, maybe he's just too stupid to understand," the redhead said. Roxas sent him a glare.

"Sora isn't stupid, Axel."

"Sorry. You're upsetting me though. Had I not thought that Ventus was you, I would've never approached him. I only saw the back of his head at first. How the hell was I supposed to know someone else in the world had hair like yours?" Axel asked. Roxas sighed and rubbed his eyes again.

"Fine. You didn't meet him on purpose but it still bothers me that he might turn out to be compatible with you. If he is, what are you going to do? If it turns out he can give you better results are you going to choose the program or me?" the blonde asked. The redhead opened his mouth to answer but he closed it again when he found he wasn't sure. He new he loved Roxas, that much was certain, but what if what he said was true? What if Ventus' genetics did prove to work better? He swallowed thickly and looked down at his hands.

"I don't know," he said quietly. He couldn't see himself passing up such an opportunity to advance his program more but he also didn't want to lose Roxas. "Ventus isn't my Charge. Even if I wanted to keep him around just to make more Carriers, I wouldn't be able to. The Technicians wouldn't let me. If it did turn out that he was genetically more compatible with me and he was allowed to stay, I guess I would have my ideal situation then, wouldn't I? I would have two Roxas' and I could make one do all the work so I could lay around ravage the other one senseless all day," he said and gave the blonde a weak smile, hoping his humor would break through. Roxas wasn't amused.

"If that happens, I wouldn't stay."

"You don't want to lay around with me all day?"

"That isn't the problem. This program isn't just about you anymore, Axel. If you haven't noticed, I've been working my ass off for it too even without the additional eighty years of wanting to make it happen. These are _our_ Carriers we're talking about. They may have your half in them, but they have mine too. It's… they're…" he trailed and pushed his brows together. "They're our family," he said quietly. He heaved a shaking heavy sigh and stood, picking up his shoes as he moved. Axel gaped at him.

"Wait, where are you going?" the redhead asked when Roxas started to walk away. "Roxas!" he called but the blonde didn't say anything and continued on back into the building. Axel was stunned and stared at the door silently as it clicked shut.

* * *

Demyx laughed when he entered Ventus' genetic map into the Catalogue terminal. He had brought Zexion over to share in his amusement but Riku and Sora had left a while ago. Zexion couldn't help but snicker a little bit right along with him. They didn't have the capabilities the Technicians did to send Ventus' profile to all the Carriers in the world but they did a comparison with Roxas' and Axel's profile. According to the genetics, Roxas matched Axel chemically a whopping fourty-three percent. Anything above fifteen percent was considered compatible enough for a Charge/Carrier relationship. Ventus, on the other hand, in all of his tainted glory, matched Axel an immense ninety-four percent. Demyx and Zexion weren't even that close. It was rumored that Leon and Cloud were that high, but they had never seen anything like it with such concrete evidence. They both found it funny.

"Wow, that's really bad. I wonder what Axel will say," Demyx said as he saved the report. Zexion shrugged.

"I have no idea. It's not like he could keep the guy around even if he wanted to drop Roxas."

"I wonder if there's a clone of you running around out there that could match me better," the sandy blonde said and Zexion smacked him on the shoulder. "Ow! What? We're only at sixty-nine percent!"

"So?"

"So, you and I could buy a condo and force your clone to dick around in this place and do all the work. Then again…" Demyx said and sighed a bit. "You were never the problem. It's always been me."

"I'm not going to deny it," Zexion huffed angrily. Demyx furrowed his brows together and turned around in his seat. He wrapped an arm around his lover's waist and pulled him into his lap. Zexion sat with a sour expression and the Carrier giggled a bit at him before nuzzling his face into the side of his Charge's neck. Zexion heaved an exasperated sigh. Demyx grinned against his skin and left a trail of light kisses up his neck before nibbling on his earlobe. Zexion melted. "Alright fine, I forgive you," he said and leaned against the sandy blonde.

"Okay good," Demyx breathed into his ear.


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

Axel didn't spend the night with Roxas that evening. He had sat by the pool for several hours before trying to sleep and everyone was in bed when he came in. He took the stuffed Tigger Demyx had thrown out of the storage closet in the lab and slept alone with it. He was extremely worried and it made proper rest anything but easy to come by. The next morning though, he trudged around and managed to eat something and head to the lab. To his surprise, Roxas was already there. The redhead hesitated by the doors, looking him over carefully. The blonde looked like he hadn't slept well either and he was reading something on the Catalogue's monitor with strong interest. From where he was standing, Axel could see it wasn't the Charge Forum like it usually was and his worry renewed itself.

"…Roxas?" Axel asked quietly. The blonde looked to him, his eyes bloodshot. The redhead furrowed his brows. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Roxas said flatly and went back to reading.

"What are you doing?"

"Reading."

"Well yes, but what are you reading?"

"Ventus' genetic map," Roxas said. Axel's breath hitched and he felt a lump form in his gut.

"What does it say?" he asked and walked closer.

"That he is almost twice as compatible with you as I am."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"…And your opinion is what?"

"That I'm holding you back. We should test him and see if he can deliver better results than I can. If he does, then we should report it and see what the Technicians say," Roxas said blandly. "Who knows? Maybe they'll refocus their energy and find Charges in this world instead of going out and ruining other people's lives without their permission first."

"D-do you feel that I ruined your life by bringing you here?" Axel asked, almost afraid to know the answer. Roxas pushed himself out of his seat and stood.

"I need to talk to Sora," he deflected. It was a little after five in the morning and he knew the brunette wasn't going to be awake but he didn't want to talk to Axel at the moment.

"Wait, no. Answer my question," Axel said. Roxas made to leave and the redhead grabbed his arm. The blonde immediately jerked the limb out of his grasp.

"I haven't decided yet," he spat and left, pushing the doors harshly out of the way. Once again, Axel was left staring at the doors in stunned silence as they closed behind him. He blinked several times before furrowing his brows, his anger slowly boiling under his skin. He stomped out of the lab after the blonde and caught up with him quickly. He was prepared to chew his Charge out but when he approached, Roxas was huddling against the wall with his face in his hands, his shoulders quaking as he struggled to hold back his sobs. Axel put a hand on his back and the blonde swung an arm backwards, smacking it away.

"Leave me alone," Roxas said, his voice surprisingly calm considering his internal hysterics. He stood straight, mustering up the last of his pathetic dignity and looked to the redhead, his face stained with tears and his eyes cold. Axel's heart nearly shattered into a million bits and pieces with the expression.

"What makes you think I would do that?" the redhead asked as evenly as he could. Roxas contemplated, his face unchanging.

"Fine. Do what you want," he said. "I can't do this anymore Axel. All the bullshit that's come up in the last couple months has me at the end of my rope. Between the quarantine, Xemnas, everything with Leon, my personal beef with your Primal, and now all of a sudden some diseased whore that looks like me, I'm done. I'm broken. I can't do it. What is it going to take to get everything to stop so I can focus on being myself again? You bringing me here didn't ruin my life, but I can't say that it hasn't been ruined within the last couple months because of everything else."

"What are you saying? You're not telling me you're leaving, are you?" Axel asked.

"I'm seriously considering it. If I could bring you with me and get you out of it, I would, but I can't. Your project has the potential to be as successful as Leon and Cloud's if you start working with Ventus. I know how much that would mean to you so you should probably think about it more and make a convincing argument for the Committee," Roxas said flatly. His expression didn't change neither did the evenness of his voice, but the tears dripped off his face as he spoke.

"You're not serious."

"Sorry. I am."

"We don't even know if 'compatibility' is even a legitimate factor in Carrier production or if the Technicians just made it up so we'd feel better or some shit. We don't understand what it is that makes us compatible or why you guys are chosen in the first place but what I _do_ know is that I don't want you to leave. So what if a computer told you that Ventus is more 'compatible' with me? He isn't you. I hardly know the guy and quite personally, I didn't invest the time and the energy to bring him here. I chose _you_. I put in the time for _you_. We already have a Carrier in the gestational tank even with our own compatibility levels. Does that not matter to you?"

"Of course it does. But you could have so many more going at the same time."

"Yeah, and I could also fuck Demyx if I wanted to. It doesn't mean I'm going to or that I give a damn about it. Forgive me for sounding like an insensitive asshole, but Ventus is going to get AIDS and die here in the next ten years. That's a bit of a turn off for me. So even if I did get something from him, it wouldn't last because he'd die and I'd be back at square one again anyway. I don't have health insurance either, by the way."

"I still want to test him. The uncertainty isn't something I'm willing to live with," Roxas said, wiping at his face and effectively deflecting the rest of the conversation. He was attempting to not melt into a complete immature puddle and claim that Axel was basing his decision on the fact that he wasn't going to die in ten years like Ventus probably would. He knew the redhead wasn't that shallow but the idea was still there.

"And what will that prove?" Axel asked.

"I don't know. But I'm curious. Isn't this how it all started? Your curiosity?"

"True enough, I suppose. Does this mean you're not leaving?"

"I don't know what I want to do yet. I meant what I said though. I'm at the end of the line, here. I don't know how much more I can take with this back and fourth emotional bullshit. I just want to make progress and be normal as much as I can."

"I think you need to get out more. There's too much here to dwell on."

"I agree. Despite how upset I was I did have fun with Zack yesterday."

"That's good."

"Sora wants us to go to Riku's ecosystem dome with them. Apparently the Technicians expanded it and they want a Carrier to go check it out and make sure everything's okay. You and I would just be company for Sora since he's pretty useless as far as the whole science and important shit goes. Maybe we can consider it a vacation."

"…Snow?" Axel asked, raising a corner of his lip in disgust.

"Yeah, I know. But it would give us an excuse to get out for a while and not think about too much."

"True. We'll have to see. When?"

"A few months."

"After we have to introduce the Blank into the gestational tank then. That's good, that means we don't have to worry about getting someone to work on the Blank for us while we're gone. Did the Technicians really give Sora permission to drag us along though?"

"I don't think he asked yet but he wanted our answers before he did."

"Oh. Well I suppose I don't mind so long as we can get everything sorted out before we leave. Are we okay though? You're not mad at me for all this?"

"I'm very tired. I can't tell if I am or not, honestly. I think I'm more upset with the idea that someone out there might be better for you than I am, not at you personally. Like you said, there wasn't any way for you to know that he wasn't me when you first saw him outside of his obnoxiousness so I don't blame you completely. Sora on the other hand, I could punch in the teeth for even bringing him here in the first place," the blonde sighed and wiped his eyes some more, his expression slipping into an exhausted haggardness. "And I'm fucking sick and tired of crying like a prepubescent girl. God damn," he grumbled crankily. Axel smiled a bit.

"I don't mind. Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Not really. My hangover started to kick in when I was beginning to fall asleep after staring at the ceiling for three hours," Roxas said, rubbing his face.

"Ah. So you _were_ drunk?"

"Not drunk so much as I was really fuzzy."

"Yet you had a hangover?"

"Okay maybe I was a little drunk."

"You're a very coherent drunk, then."

"Yeah well Ventus sort of killed my buzz; which also didn't help me like him any more. I was totally prepared to fall into the lab and slobber all over you but my plans of drunken debauchery were blown out of the water."

"Now I'm even sorrier that I brought him inside," Axel chuckled. Roxas shrugged.

"Oh well. Zack got pretty shitfaced too. He's an awesome drinking buddy."

"How did you two even get home?" the redhead asked, sounding astonished. Roxas gave him a wry smile.

"Zack didn't come home. He ended up drunk dialing Cloud and he came to the bar and took me back here before going back for Zack and calling Tifa. I think he spent the night at Leon and Cloud's."

"No! Oh god," Axel said and laughed.

"It's true. By the way, riding on a motorcycle while you can't see straight is pretty awesome."

"Geeze, Roxas. Drinking until you can't see straight is pretty bad. Don't make a habit of it."

"I'm not. If you remember, I haven't touched anything alcoholic since we went to Leon and Cloud's house for the first time and I haven't been legitimately shitfaced in over a year so I think I'm okay."

"Yeah well, I also say that in reference to Zack. He doesn't need to make a habit of it either."

"That much I know. Tifa didn't seem too bothered by us going out so I figured it was okay."

"Oh. Well good. Did you want to take a nap then? Or, go to bed since you didn't really sleep to begin with?"

"If you don't mind, that would be nice. I feel a little better," the blonde said and started walking towards his bedroom. Axel followed after him and made to go back into the lab as they passed by. "You're not coming with me?" Roxas asked. The redhead froze mid-step; he looked to his Charge in mild astonishment.

"You're okay with that?" he asked. Roxas nodded a little and reached for his hand. Axel laced their fingers together without hesitation. "But what about the antelope thing and my Primal and—?"

"Do you want to sleep with me or not?" the blonde spat grumpily.

"I do, I was just checking."

"Just shut up and take advantage of my mental relapse."

* * *

Occupations outside of those having to do with the Carrier facilities made living inside a facility oriented dome very difficult when it came to finding work. A lot of the retail oriented jobs were run by a single person and a series of computers while the food service jobs were usually family run and tended to keep the jobs inside said family. After only six months of living in Dome 813, it was very clear to Ventus that he wasn't going to be living easy despite the low cost of housing there. So, he turned to the oldest occupation in the world: prostitution. Regardless of the world, the timeline, the dimension, or the society, someone was _always_ looking to get laid. Every three marriages had a troubled partner and so long as that partner had disposable income, Ventus had work.

The hours were flexible, he could take days off when he wanted to, he could do whatever he liked in his spare time, and he could live alone and support himself. It was an alright gig, he supposed. He had his own libido satisfied 24/7 and even if he wasn't into giving anyone his ass that day, he could just as easily earn his money in other ways. It also helped that he was incredibly desirable simply because his face was young and innocent looking. He could gather a clientele of middle aged men in an instant at a bat of an angelic eyelash. If he cared for a woman, all he had to do was take off his shirt and flex a little for them and lure them away from the competition. What was most important about his job to him though, was that he could be himself.

Ventus knew he was walking a fine line with his life. His chosen occupation had garnered him a plethora of health problems, most of which he had taken care of, but that one last nagging illness forced him to be extra careful. His HIV made him a walking time bomb. So far, he had been able to keep his customers virus free but it was only a matter of time before someone came after him, threatening his life because he ruined theirs. Most of the people in the dome that were like him, the general public, didn't have the means to pay for the medication without insurance. He was saving his Credits though, just so he could cure himself so at least he had his priorities straight. For him, it was a waiting game. Eventually, the HIV would mutate into AIDS and he wouldn't be able to work anymore so he had to earn enough before that.

He never felt particularly guilty when he would sleep with someone. It was the other party's own stupid fault for not being able to sort out their personal issues and coming to him in the first place, after all. They were digging their own grave with that one. He only got nervous when he thought about them coming after him and trying to kill him, but even then all he would have to do was bury his nose in a virtual book and he could forget about it for a while. Ventus had no formal education outside of high school but he was still very interested in all things involving Chemistry and Biology. What he knew was mostly self taught which was another reason the Committee denied his application to be a Technician. He wasn't deterred though and was determined to worm his way into the Carrier programs somehow. Needless to say, he was anxious to hear from his new buddies up at the feline facility.

It was a little after three in the afternoon a few days after he had met Sora and Ventus was sprawled out on his back on his bed, asleep. He had given the brunette his home number as well as his cell number which he usually didn't do. The tiny portable device was his work line and he liked it to stay free of personal business so he didn't miss a call from a regular client. He had told Sora this and the brunette had agreed to use the home line unless it was an emergency, even without knowing all of the details. Home terminals were similar to Catalogue terminals in shape and general usage. The biggest difference between the two being that it served as more of a glorified personal computer than anything else. It didn't have the capabilities that the Catalogue terminals had that the Carriers used, but he could order pizza and chat with his buddies easily enough.

Ventus was not a morning (afternoon) person. So when his Home terminal started to ring and wake him up, he assumed it was one of his friends that could leave a message. After ringing for over a minute, he groaned and rolled over onto his side to smash a pillow over his face in attempts to ignore it. On and on the machine went and eventually, he had had enough and threw himself out of bed angrily and stomped over to it to answer. He clicked a few buttons in its flat panel glass keyboard and let the call come in while he went to find a proper pair of pants.

Sora blinked confusedly from the other line as he was presented with the back view of a mostly naked and very grumpy Ventus on his terminal screen. The blonde was muttering under his breath as his pulled on a pair of wrinkled jeans he had picked up off of the floor at random. His hair was a mess and half of his piercings were gone from his ears, as were all of his rings from his fingers. The brunette took in the massive amount of ink work that spread over his back and dipped into his pants. Ventus was covered in things that looked like dismembered mechanical parts and gears that were being overgrown by a forest with the occasional animal lurking about. As the tattoos spread over his shoulders and down his arms they became more abstract and meaningless, like he was saving the bigger story for the one on his back but still liked getting tattoos. When he turned around, his chest was completely clear of design save for a barbell that was shoved through each nipple. He gaped at his Home terminal.

"Holy shit! I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd actually call me," the blonde gasped when he saw Sora on his screen. The brunette gave him a nervous smile.

"Well I did. Did you want me to call back so you could get dressed?" he asked. Riku milled about in the lab behind him, drawing Ventus' attention away for a second but he shook his head.

"So long as you don't care about my shirtlessness, I don't," he said and smiled. Sora shrugged.

"It's nothing I've never seen before. Nice nipples by the way," the brunette blurted. Riku furrowed his brows and looked over his shoulder with a disturbed expression. Ventus laughed.

"Thanks? That was a new one. I could show you the other piercings I have but I don't think your Carrier would appreciate it," the blonde said.

"…That scares me," Sora said flatly as his mind rushed with the possible images. Ventus grinned, Sora was just too cute.

"Anyway, you got me all excited. What do you have for me?" the blonde asked and pulled a chair over with his foot before sitting and lacing his fingers behind his head.

"Well, Roxas and Axel want to run some tests on you. Would you be willing to come back up here?"

"Are you kidding me? Can I just move in and save myself the travel time?" Ventus asked.

"That was sarcasm, right?"

"Yeah. It was. I know I can't do that. If I was allowed to I would though. In a heartbeat."

"Oh. Well okay then. When can you get here?" Sora asked.

"Give me an hour to make myself pretty and I'm all yours," the blonde said and smiled. The brunette gave him another nervous smile, unsure of how to handle his choice in language.

"Um… okay then, see you when you get here."

"Sure thing," Ventus said and ended the transmission. He nearly skipped out of his seat, unable to contain his excitement.

* * *

Things were gradually getting better. Roxas was allowing Axel to cuddle and be with him in close proximity for the most part. The underlying issues the blonde had created for himself concerning the redhead's Primal form though, kept all forms of intimacy on the sidelines. His subconscious kept prodding him, reminding him that he was in love with someone who had an inhuman and wild part of himself. It bothered him, but not enough to push the redhead away completely. He couldn't ignore their history, after all. He was trying his best, which was all Axel could ask for. The redhead himself treaded lightly and waited for Roxas to initiate things between them. A little kiss here, a hug there, and maybe a little hand holding kept his spirits up enough to where he was able to function around the blonde without falling to pieces. Things were better, but shaky.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Axel asked curiously as he watched Roxas pace back and fourth in front of an exam table.

"I do. I can't get my mind off it until I have evidence."

"Well what are you going to do if we find that he does make things easier?"

"Like I said a few days ago; we'll send a report to the Technicians and see what they say."

"…Oh," the redhead deadpanned.

"If by some miraculous happenstance they want to make Ventus your Charge instead of me, then I guess we won't have much of a choice, then will we?"

"Why do you say 'miraculous' like it's so farfetched?"

"Because I have hard time believing they would upset their entire way of doing things just so they could get Ventus in here. Like you said, the guy is going to die if he doesn't take the pills. Do you really think the Technicians would provide them for him?"

"I have no idea. They fixed Zack's liver."

"Yeah but Zack was brought in through their system. Ventus is an outsider by comparison."

"True, but I can't help but be worried. We could always just figure it out and then… ignore the results and continue on our merry way, you know. I'm okay with that."

"And then let Ventus go and have him go to the Committee instead? Do you realize how much trouble we would be in?" Roxas asked and stopped pacing. "At least if it's successful then we have something on the table to bargain with in order to keep us out of harms way."

"Yeah but that opens us up for being separated. I don't want to take that risk. We can ask Ventus to keep his mouth shut and see if he agrees."

"I doubt he will," Roxas sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Axel sighed as well. He didn't like how quick the blonde was to judge people. Neither of them knew Ventus very well and for all they knew he could be an incredibly honest person. He didn't say anything though; he didn't want to risk upsetting his Charge further. Roxas began pacing again and after another twenty minutes of uncomfortable silence, Sora pushed the lab doors in and came inside, followed by the stranger in question. Ventus had forgone his oversized jacket for the day but had replaced all of the metal he had removed in order to sleep. His jeans were a different color but still tattered in a stylistic way and he wore a red form fitting t-shirt above his many belts and jingly things. His heavy black boots clomped against the floor as he strode in with his head held high and a smile on his face.

"Hello again, gentlemen!" he said happily. Roxas furrowed his brows but Axel didn't react outwardly.

"Hi," the younger blonde spat. Sora glared at his brother.

"Don't be dick, Roxas," the brunette said.

"He can if he wants to be. He has that right," Ventus said and shrugged. Sora sighed. "So what did you guys need me to do?"

 _Fall off a cliff_ , Roxas thought but Axel spoke up before he could voice his opinion.

"We want to see if your genetic map corroborates your compatibility. The computer tells us you're ninety-four percent compatible with someone while their current Charge is only forty-three percent. If the Technicians are indeed telling us the truth about compatibility, your DNA should mix with this Carrier's nearly flawlessly," the redhead explained.

"Okay so what do you need for that? Blood, spit, love juice?" Ventus asked.

"Anything you're willing to give but sperm work best," Axel said and went to the storage cabinet to retrieve a sample canister. He handed it off to Ventus and the blonde looked thoughtful.

"What, right here? Or do I get a room with a door that closes?" the older blonde asked.

"So willing to give. Are you going to charge us for it?" Roxas scoffed. Ventus raised a brow at him.

"Why? Are you willing to pay, shortcake?"

"Stop it," Sora grumbled, sending his brother a glare. Roxas ran a hand over his face and breathed in an angry and tense breath.

"Hell I don't mind dropping trou right here but I figured I'd spare you all the unwanted peep show," Ventus said. Axel shook his head.

"No, that's fine. You can use my room, it's as good a place as any I suppose," he said quickly and nudged the older blonde along towards the doors. Roxas opened his mouth to protest the possibility of Ventus doing horrible things inside of the redhead's room and leaving his…remnants everywhere but Sora put up a hand and stopped him. The pair left quietly and the brunette turned to his sibling.

"Can you stop being judgmental for three minutes? He's a little weird but Ventus is a nice guy and he hasn't done anything to warrant so much hostility," Sora said.

"But he mig—" Roxas was cut off by the brunette waving his hands and making a series of incoherent and nonsensical sputtering sounds with his lips.

"Stop. I don't care what you think he might do. He's a friend and you're being a dick. Give him a chance."

* * *

"Don't think I'm ignorant enough to not catch what you were trying to say back there," Ventus said quietly as he followed after Axel, sample canister in hand. The redhead hesitated for a second but continued on down the hall.

"What do you mean?" Axel asked.

"I'm more compatible with you than that Roxas kid," the older blonde said matter-of-factly. "I know how the system works and I know that the odds are stacked in my favor, especially with a huge percentage like that. Fuck…" he trailed, his mind wandering in his bliss. "This is awesome. Despite what you may feel, I think this is great."

"Apparently. I would prefer you keep quiet about it," the Carrier said flatly and dug his keys out of his pocket. He unlocked his door and pushed it open. Ventus stayed outside.

"Why? Is it really that bad?" he persisted.

"Personally, I would've liked to just bury the entire scenario and pretend it never happened. Roxas is the one who needs the closure. I'm happy with just him."

"Oooh, I see," Ventus said and pursed his lips, nodding a little.

"Do you really?" Axel asked blandly, wondering if the blonde genuinely understood the gravity of the situation.

"I do. You love your little tight ass Roxas kid and he loves you. If anything, I'm just a third party that just happens to have jizz that mixes better with yours. Like I said, I know more than you think I do. I know the system. If you put a label on the machines that told me the names I bet I could learn them real easy. I know all of their names and what their purposes are and what does what. I've done my research, Axel."

"That's…a little impressive, actually."

"I'm a little obsessed. I told Sora that I've always wanted to be a Charge, and I meant it."

"Did you ever consider becoming a Technician?"

"I did. I applied but they rejected me. I didn't have the money to go to college and my parents are just about as poor as I am. The only problem is that they're drug dealers with no taxable income and they're technically living in illegal housing so I can't even apply for financial aid with their help. My credit is shot too so I can't get loans without a co-signer so I'm sort of stuck where I am. Believe me, if I could get in somewhere I would. I've exhausted all of my options. The only thing I haven't tried is finding myself a pimp or someone who might float me the money like that, but I'd like to hang onto my pride for as long as I can."

"So you really are a…"

"A whore? Yeah. I guess," Ventus said simply and shrugged. "I've accepted my life the way it is and I only look for ways into the Carrier Program anymore. I mean… I can't even afford to move back to my other dome, so why focus my energy anywhere else, you know?"

"Wow. I had no idea," Axel said sadly.

"I don't worry about it and neither should you. Life's too short to get all pissy about the small things and dwell on the past mistakes. So anyway," the blonde amended and pointed a finger at the open room. "This is your room? Nice. I'll try to keep it clean," he said. Axel nodded deftly and Ventus made his way towards it. He stopped at the doorway and heaved a sigh. "You know, I'd feel really awful if I gave you anything. Do you have a condom or something so I make sure I don't get anything anywhere?" he asked. Axel blinked.

"Um… no I don't actually. You can use my shower if you're that concerned about it. Is…it really that big of an issue?" the redhead asked carefully. Ventus grinned a laughed a bit.

"I have a Prince Albert through my dick and it tends to send things in a bunch of different directions if it isn't a constant stream if you get my meaning," the blonde said without shame. Axel's face blanked which only succeeded in making Ventus laugh more. The tone of the sound was one of general humor geared towards the fact that he was able to surprise the redhead so easily versus one of condescendence and poking fun at him. "How about I just spit in the cup and save us both the heartache?" the blonde offered. Axel shrugged.

"If that's what you want to do, that's fine. I appreciate the concern but if you just use the shower it takes care of all that."

"Alright," Venus said with a small smile. "If you're going to insist on me getting wet and naked, I suppose I should comply."

"Now wait…that's not wh—"

"I know. I know. It was a joke, relax," the blonde said and chuckled. "You really should find a hobby or something. You _look_ like you're wound pretty tight. Feel free to tell me to fuck off if I'm prying too much, but is everything okay?" he asked with genuine concern. Axel shrugged.

"Stress. I don't really want to discuss the details."

"Fair enough. Anyway, I'll be out in twenty or so. Are you going to wait out here or should I wander around and try to find my way back on my own?"

"I can wait if you're okay with it."

"Sure," Venus agreed. He looked Axel over carefully and put a hand on his shoulder. "You know, you're allowed to think and make decisions for yourself. You don't have to be so accommodating," he said calmly and patted his shoulder a bit before heading inside. He closed the door behind himself gently and the redhead furrowed his brows, watching the floor.

* * *

Roxas was pacing impatiently when Axel and Ventus returned; Sora was watching him with a sour expression. They had taken _far_ too long for Roxas' liking and he looked the redhead over carefully for any sign that Ventus had his hands on him. He couldn't see anything, but he still had his suspicions. Ventus' hair was wet and it made him nervous. The older blonde on the other hand, ignored Roxas completely and strolled around the lab looking at things. He stopped at the gestational tank and watched Axel and Roxas' little peachy bean float around. Axel went straight for the Extractor.

"Did you get the newsletter from Ansem?" Sora asked, looking at Roxas. The blonde's vulture-like stare on Ventus shifted to him.

"The what?" he asked.

"The newsletter. Apparently one of Xemnas' drugs super speeds the Carrier growing process and they can mature in six to eight years versus the normal twenty. He sent out a sign-up for Carrier/Charge couples that want to volunteer to test it. He's giving some awesome bonuses for whoever does. Riku and I are seriously considering it," the brunette explained.

"Whoa. Seriously?" Roxas gasped.

"We're doing it," Axel said without any further explanation needed. Roxas snorted.

"I at least want to know the side effects," he said.

"Everything's in the newsletter," Sora said. Ventus' curiosity was piqued. Roxas trotted over to his tablet and jabbed the poor device until it woke up for him. He was quick to pull up the newsletter and began reading. Ventus strolled over and loomed over his shoulder. Roxas put the tablet against his chest protectively and sent an acidic glare over his shoulder at the other blonde. Ventus smiled at him.

"Can I see?" he asked sweetly.

"No," Roxas spat.

"You can see mine," Sora said and left the lab to retrieve his tablet. Roxas gaped at the doors. Ventus shrugged and walked over to Axel at the Extractor.

"Well?" he asked.

"It's…yeah. Yours is working way better," Axel said, almost sadly. He didn't pull his eyes away from the microscope.

"Huh. Well how 'bout that?" Ventus said wistfully. He couldn't help but smile. Roxas had a death grip on his tablet and he stared at the pair with a blank expression that betrayed how much he was hurting inside. He swallowed thickly and forced his arms to set the tablet down. His legs felt like jelly when he tried to move but he used them anyway and made his way out of the lab quietly. Ventus raised a brow at the motion. "I'll be right back," he said quickly to the redhead and followed after Roxas.

"Hmm?" Axel questioned and looked around the room. "Roxas?" he called.

* * *

Ventus caught up to Roxas after a few minutes of searching. The younger blonde was nearly running to his room to hide himself away before he could embarrass himself but the older one caught him and forced him to stop a few feet from his bedroom door. Ventus grabbed his arm to keep him from going anywhere and Roxas reacted immediately to the touch. He whirled in the other direction and punched the older blonde square in the face. Ventus let out a surprised bark and let go of him to put a hand to his cheek.

"What the fuck is your problem, kid?" Ventus gasped. He looked at his fingers and touched his face a few times to see if he was bleeding. He wasn't.

" _You_ are! You're my brand new problem that sprung up out of the fucking dirt all of a sudden! Get the fuck away from me and don't you _ever_ put your diseased hands on me again!" Roxas bellowed and stomped towards his room. Ventus furrowed his brows and followed after him. He caught the younger blonde's door before it swung shut and pushed himself inside. Roxas glowered at him. "Get out!"

"Not until you get your panties out of their knot, asshole!" Ventus yelled back.

"You want to be a fucking Charge so damn bad? Fine. Take it. Take my job, my family, my friends, and my Carrier! Take it all! It's all yours! I hope you're fucking happy. I'll be back in ten years when you're dead," Roxas spat.

"What th— no! I'm not here to take anything from anybody! What makes you think I came here with the sole intent on taking anything from you? Yeah sure, I want to be a Charge more than anything but I don't want _yours_. I want my own! I keep telling everyone that I know the system and I do. Roxas, there are a finite amount of Charge candidates out there. Just because I'm compatible with Axel doesn't mean I'm not compatible with Billy-Bob-What's-His-Face over at the snake facility or some shit. I'll probably be hard pressed to find someone else I'm so compatible with but it doesn't mean I can't be useful elsewhere. But even then! It's a moot point! The Technicians are never going to let me be a Charge because I don't have the one thing you do."

"What's that? A clean blood test?" Roxas spat spitefully.

"Well maybe that has a factor in it, now that I think about it, but I meant that I don't have an erased past. You came here with a clean slate. No one knows you anymore from whatever dimension you came from and you don't have any other obligations outside of the facility now. This is your _life_. My life has a tail attached to it and I've been involved with too many people to keep all of it out of the program. If there was some way I could sever all ties that easily with everyone, I would, but I can't. Like you said, I'm going to die in ten years! Probably less! What use am I going to be if I can't even get a god damned stasis treatment?"

"They don't let people with HIV get stasis treatments?" Roxas asked with a quirked brow.

"It wouldn't matter either way. I'd still die if I don't get the cure, and I don't see any hand-outs in my near future," Ventus said calmly and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'll admit that this new drug Sora was talking about has me interested. If by some miracle I did become a Charge, I could squeeze out a couple Carriers of my own before I kick the bucket, you know? It doesn't matter though. My obsession is just that: an obsession. Almost a hobby. I would love it if I could pursue it but I can't," he said and gave the younger blonde a disheartened shrug. Roxas furrowed his brows in thought.

"What if…" he hesitated, chewing on his lip. "What if I could help you?"


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53**

"…Are you bipolar?" Ventus asked hesitantly, giving his younger lookalike a suspicious once over.

"No, why?" Roxas asked.

"Three seconds ago you were yelling at me for ruining you life, essentially, and now you're offering to help me? Help me with what? Why?"

"With your problem."

"Which problem? I have a few."

"Your HIV," Roxas said and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Don't dick with me like that," Ventus scoffed.

"No, I'm serious," the younger blonde insisted.

"Oh yeah, and I'm the princess of Dildo Land."

"…What?"

"Dildos, Roxas. Rubber dicks you—"

"I know what a fucking dildo is," Roxas sputtered quickly, cutting him off from finishing his strange topic change. Ventus smirked. The younger sighed and ran an exasperated hand over his face. "Look, I want to run a few more tests on you and if everything turns out okay like I think it might then I can try to help you with your HIV."

"Try to? You're not certain?"

"Well I have limited resources but I'll do what I can with what I have."

"Why are you so receptive all of a sudden?" Ventus asked with his brows pushed together lightly.

"Because if my idea works, I know how happy it would make Axel to give us a little push. I also pity you and my brother brings up a good point. You haven't done anything to warrant my hostility and I'm being judgmental. When I first met Axel I hated his guts too because of the way he looked and it took me a minute to remember that, but I'm trying my hardest to get past it quickly. You still gross me out to no end, but at the very least I suppose I can be civil," Roxas said hesitantly and with a grumpy face. "But in order for my plan to work, I need you to be able to live much longer so therefore I would have to help you with your HIV."

"So…you're only going to help me if I meet your criteria?"

"Yes. Otherwise I could bring unwanted attention to Axel and myself and we could be punished for being involved with you."

"You're such a tease," Ventus said and gave him a light glare. Roxas shrugged.

"Oh well? I don't really care what you think of me," he said and reached around the older blonde to open his bedroom door and leave. He hesitated a bit and sent Ventus a glare. "Keep your hands off Axel," he ordered.

"Aw, but he's so big and cuddly," Ventus teased. Roxas' eyes narrowed and turned icy. "Whoa, slow down there, it was a joke. I like Axel because he's a nice guy. I have no intentions otherwise. He's yours."

"Damn right he is," Roxas spat and left. Ventus sighed and shook his head a bit.

 _I need to get this kid a piercing, or a tattoo, or laid, or_ _ **something**_ ; he thought to himself and followed after him.

* * *

"Wait, what?" Axel asked, his mouth agape. Roxas and Ventus had been gone all of ten minutes. They came back and the first thing Roxas did was ask Axel to run a comparison on his and Ventus' compatibility. The Carrier, understandably, was horrendously confused. Why would Roxas want to know if he was compatible with Ventus? There was no point that Axel could see.

"You heard me. I want to know if I'm compatible with Ventus," Roxas said. "Or just tell me how to do it and I'll do it myself."

"Are we going to have kids or something?" Ventus asked, looking to the younger blonde and sharing in Axel's confusion. Sora came back in with his tablet and tried to catch what they were talking about.

"Just humor me for a minute," Roxas insisted. Axel furrowed his brows, his mind racing. He looked between them both a few times before shrugging.

"Alright," the redhead sighed and went to compare the genetic maps. Ventus looked Roxas over questioningly but the younger blonde paid him no heed and went back to the Catalogue terminal to retrieve his tablet and resume reading Ansem's newsletter. Sora handed his own tablet off to Ventus and the older blonde looked at it a bit.

"What did I miss?" the brunette asked. Ventus shrugged.

"I have no idea, honestly," he said and chuckled.

Ansem's newsletter was just what Sora said it was. It was the information about the new drug that Xemnas had created plus the restrictions, expected side effects, and the benefits. The drug itself was something to be injected and Ansem had found that so long it stayed in the human bloodstream of the Carrier, they would stay mentally intact. The expected side effects included the usual battery of things one would associate with a new drug; nausea, vomiting, shortness of breath, mild fever, and possible diarrhea. None of those things seemed particularly appetizing to Roxas but he could deal with them so long as they didn't involve dismemberment or rape in any form.

"… _Charges should expect their Carriers to perspire excessively, respond quickly to sexual stimulation, and require constant and possibly overbearing physical contact, but no hostility. If the Carrier seems to be slipping into a hostile state of mind, I urge you to leave the vicinity quickly and seek help or wait for the drug to pass. The duration of the effects varies from six to eight hours depending on the metabolism rate and size of the Carrier._

 _If both the Carrier and the Charge are willing to participate, send me notice within two weeks and I will get the specialized dosage to you as quickly as I can. The amount I give will have to be measured out carefully based on the weekly physical progress reports the Charge has submitted to me and thus may take up to three days to deliver. In return, I expect proper documentation of everything that happens while the Carrier is under the influence. Attached to this newsletter I have sent a blank report that must be filled completely as well as the signup template. If any report is inadequately filled or the Charge does not complete it within a week of receiving the drug, disciplinary action will be taken_ …"

It continued on to list the various types of punishment that could incur for ill performance, but Roxas wasn't all that interested in that. He knew what they were already and he was more concerned about what the benefits were.

"… _Since both the Carrier and the Charge are taking a significant risk in testing this for me, I am prepared to give rewards for those that successfully document their experience for me. I will offer a monetary reward of either a lump sum_ _ **or**_ _a raise in individual Carrier allowances for a year. In addition to that, for the Charge, I will grant a_ _ **reasonable**_ _request including: material possessions, a week pass for Carrier/Charge societal freedoms, or a disciplinary revocation_ …"

"Axel?" Roxas asked, raising a brow at his tablet.

"Hmm?" the redhead hummed in response while his fingers continued to type away at the Gestational Terminal's keyboard.

"What's a 'pass for Carrier/Charge societal freedoms'?"

"It's a little slip of paper that says that you and I are allowed to go places together where normally, we wouldn't be able to go. Like if you and I wanted to go out to dinner or something, we could do that. Normally it's illegal for me to go into a restaurant but so long as we have a pass for it, it's okay. It has its limitations, like I can't go out and have sex with whoever I want even if you told me it was okay, but it's way more freedom than I normally would have," Axel said.

"Ansem is offering one of those that would last a week," Roxas said.

"Really? That'd be nice. Personally, I wouldn't want to go out to a restaurant though. Too greasy," the redhead said and stuck out his tongue a bit. Roxas smiled.

"Not worth the barf," he said and Axel nodded in agreement. Ventus finished reading and handed the tablet back to Sora with a smile as his thanks.

"Riku wants to try it," the brunette said.

"I have a feeling a lot of people would want to," Roxas said.

"I want to," Axel said.

"I can start filling out the signup template then," the younger blonde said and looked around, trying to find his stylus. Ventus furrowed his brows in thought and started to stroll around the lab, looking at the machinery as he moved. Axel finished his task and scrolled through the results and started to laugh.

"Okay, it's telling me you and Ventus are twenty-two percent compatible. I find that funny," the redhead said. Roxas shrugged.

"It's high enough for a Carrier/Charge relationship if one of us was a Carrier. Good enough for me," he said and found his stylus and began poking away at the signup template.

"You mind explaining why that matters?" Ventus asked. Roxas shrugged.

"I need to submit a report to Ansem first and see if he will consider my idea. Until I get an answer from him, don't worry about it. It may take a while, since it isn't all that important and we have some time yet before we really need to get serious," the younger blonde said. Ventus sighed.

"I wonder what Leon and Cloud's compatibility percentage is," Sora said idly.

"Well with how successful they are, I'm sure it's abnormally high even if it's hard to imagine since they always seem so cranky with each other," Axel said. There was a shrill and obnoxious ringing noise all of a sudden and Ventus stuck his hand in his pocket to find his cell phone. He checked the name with a blank and bored face before answering.

"Veronica?" he asked, sounding far too excited even though his face looked like he was reading the dictionary. He listened to the woman on the other line for a few minutes. "I don't know, let me check," he said and held his hand over the receiver and looked to Axel. "Am I finished here?" he asked. The redhead looked to Roxas, who shrugged.

"I guess so, I can't think of anything else we need you for," the younger blonde said. Ventus went back to his call. Sora motioned to him to follow and the older blonde waved to Roxas and Axel before heading out of the lab.

"Fantastic, it looks like I _am_ free. Did you want me to pick up some cookies for the kids?" Ventus' voice trailed as he left. Roxas looked to Axel with a questioning expression and the redhead shrugged.

"Either his kids or Veronica's kids. Maybe he sees her a lot?" the Carrier guessed. Roxas scowled.

"I couldn't imagine being a child and thinking my mother's prostitute is a friend of the family. They're in for a nasty wake-up call if the father finds out and gives a damn."

"I hope for Ventus' sake the father is dead so he _doesn't_ find out, or if the kids _are_ his, that he's at least involved with them a bit," Axel said. Roxas set his tablet down and rubbed his eyes with a tired sigh.

"I just… I can't even think about it anymore. He's nasty and disgusting yet somehow he's more compatible with you than I am. It bothers the shit out of me and I'm trying to bargain with him to keep him interested in us instead of trying to go the Committee and bringing this all out into the open in the wrong way."

"What are you planning exactly?"

"I want to see if he would be compatible with her," Roxas said and motioned to their little bean in the gestational tank. "If the theory of compatibility is correct, then him being compatible with us both would make him compatible with her. I can petition Ansem to let him become more familiar with our program and possibly cure him of his HIV in the process with the idea of jumpstarting our program and not waiting for her to go through the process of getting her own Charge like someone normally would. Similar to what Zack and Tifa are doing with Yuffie and Josiah's replacement. It would keep him close enough so we can keep an eye on him and serve our own needs in the long run.

The only problem with that is how much I just really don't like him. I mean, he could die tomorrow and I wouldn't give a damn. I can't ignore how much he genuinely wants to be a Charge though and I can't run the risk of him doing something that would rip us apart further. Over time, as she matures, I hope he can clean himself up enough to get into my good graces. I'm not even sure Ansem would go for it and I could just be wasting our time so in an effort to not get his hopes up too much and being civil about it, I'm going to keep him in the dark. Am I insane? Do you even think it's a good idea?" Roxas asked, casting a weary eye to Axel. The redhead thought about it for a second and he shrugged.

"Honestly, I don't have that much of a problem with him outside of his germs and his lifestyle choice. He seems like an okay guy to me otherwise. He's already ahead of the game with how obsessed he is with the Carrier Program so it would make training him way easier. We could focus on grooming him more while she matures for him and if she doesn't choose him, well, we can send him off to another Carrier that will take him and make someone else's job easier, I suppose. That's if Ansem will allow it. I'm not sure he will, but without Xemnas around to get in the way… who knows?"

"What about Saïx?" Roxas asked.

"What about him? He's small potatoes compared to Xemnas. It's like a video game. Usually there's a series of little boss battles before the big guy at the end, you know? Well we skipped the little bosses and went right for Xemnas, the big guy. Ansem can handle Saïx if he feels strongly enough about something, I'm sure. We just have to convince him this is a good idea. I think it is. We have another twenty years to determine what kind of person Ventus really is and if he's wonderful and she accepts him then we just saved ourselves years of waiting around for her to obtain a Charge. If not, then we saved a life. That's an okay thing too."

"Right," the blonde agreed and took up his tablet again. "Or, we don't even have to use her. If this drug works, we may have someone for him sooner rather than later," he said. Axel nodded.

"True, but even then we'd have more than enough time to hammer out all the details," he said. Roxas nodded a bit. He poked at his tablet some before sighing and setting it down again. He crossed the lab to Axel and shoved himself in the redhead's lap abruptly. He wrapped his arms around his neck and pressed himself against the Carrier's chest. Axel was a little startled but recovered quickly and hugged him close.

"I'm so tired of the distractions. The physical ones and the ones I've created for myself," Roxas sighed into the redhead's t-shirt. Axel rubbed his back and planted a kiss in his hair.

"I agree. They're not very fun."

"At this point, I don't even care about Leon and what he did to Xemnas. I don't even care about the shit I decided to bombard myself with about your Primal. I'm way more concerned about Ventus trying to pull something to make his obsession a reality. Be it taking you away from me or getting us in trouble with the Committee or something," Roxas said and shifted himself around to straddle Axel's legs. He scooted inward to press as much as of himself as he could against his lover in hopes that he could absorb his comfort and warmth through osmosis. Axel let out a relieved sigh and lay his head on the blonde's shoulder and wrapped his arms around him tightly.

"He's not going to take me away from you," the redhead reassured.

"But if he goes to the Committee and they decide that ninety-four percent is way better than forty-three, then we won't have much a choice and it scares me."

"I don't know what to say to make you feel better. It scares me too." He moved his hands up and took Roxas' face between his palms and pressed their foreheads together. "But even if it does happen I still wouldn't stop loving you. I'd probably make Ventus do work while I sneak off and find you in the city or something. I wouldn't be with him like I am with you; it just wouldn't be the same. I love you, Roxas."

"I love you too. I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. I don't know what my problem is… I just…I…" he trailed when he couldn't think of the words. "There's no excuse."

"You're just overwhelmed. I'm actually more concerned about your well being than I am about getting attention from you."

"Yeah but I was denying myself the things that make me feel better to begin with by ignoring you so I sort of screwed myself," the blonde sighed. "I'm sorry."

"You said that already," Axel said and smiled. "I forgive you, but only if it'll get you to stop apologizing."

"…Okay," Roxas said meekly.

"Neither of us are going anywhere right now so we can't start worrying about things that may never happen," the redhead said and rubbed their noses together briefly before pressing a soft kiss to the blonde's lips. "If you start now, by the time something happens you'll be mostly dead and won't be able to handle it." Roxas nodded some. "For now though…" Axel trailed and slid his hands down to pat the blonde's rump, "I have a few questions I want to ask Leon and Cloud."

* * *

"Compatibility percentage? What's that?" Leon asked curiously. Cloud furrowed his brows together with his eyes to the Extractor's microscope. Axel raised a brow. Roxas hung back a few feet behind them and tried to think of nothing. Not Leon, not Ventus, not Xemnas, not himself. It was proving to be a difficult task so he decided to think about Axel frolicking around in the snow and mountains, which made him smile.

"You didn't check your compatibility percentage with Cloud before you chose him?" the redhead asked. Leon pushed his brows together, trying to remember.

"Fuck if I know, it was so long ago. I can check it now, I suppose. I'm a little curious," he said and made his way to the Catalogue terminal. His fingers went to work quickly, typing away at the keyboard and bringing up the archives of Cloud's Charge record. Axel watched all the information zoom by on the screen. The videos of Cloud's past and childhood, his health records, his education records, his occupational records, his genetic map, everything. It all flew by so quickly, Axel wondered if there wasn't a lot of information that Leon kept or if the Carrier was just that versed in his search. Eventually though, Leon found Cloud's original Charge file. The one he looked at before he chose the grumpy blonde from his original choice list. Axel burst into laughter when the page appeared.

"Nice fucking hair!" the redhead cried when he took in the picture of Cloud from so many years ago. At the ripe age of seventeen, he must have been _hot stuff_ with the enormous spire of golden hair that jutted from the edge of his hairline surrounded by other, less huge, spires of hair that fell off one side of his face. The Charge in question abandoned his work and went to see what was so funny. He groaned and held his face in one hand. Leon was far too amused and sat in his chair with a smile.

"Now I remember why I paid so much attention to you," Leon said and started to laugh, looking over his shoulder at his lover. Roxas quirked a brow and went to see, he snorted back a laugh so hard it made his chest hurt. Cloud sighed and rubbed his face.

"Yeah yeah…laugh about it now old man, you know I was sexy," the taller blonde huffed and sent Leon a glare.

"It's like a _really_ bad yearbook picture," Roxas said. Leon chuckled and started to scroll down the page to find their compatibility percentage. Axel watched the information move along and jumped when he thought he saw something interesting. He waved a hand at the screen.

"Wait! Go back up," the redhead said quickly and Leon complied. "Stop," Axel said when he found the line again. He read it quickly and turned to Cloud with his mouth hanging open.

"What?" Cloud asked.

"You were _illiterate_? At _seventeen_?" Axel asked, completely astonished. Roxas looked to Cloud as well, equally as stunned.

"I was until I came here, yes," Cloud said simply. Axel nudged Leon.

"You had to teach this bastard how to read?" he squawked and started to laugh. Leon shrugged.

"What can I say? I like them young and impressionable," the Carrier said with a smirk and continued his search. Roxas furrowed his brows.

"How did you get a job?" the shorter blonde asked. Cloud shrugged.

"Don't need to read to be in the military; just able bodied and stupid. I didn't know anything until I came here. No math, no science, no literature, just how to disable someone enough to get them to spill whatever information they had without killing them."

"That's awful," Roxas said and wrinkled his nose.

"It is what it is. What matters is that I know what I'm doing now. You need to remember I'm one hundred and fifty-five years old. That's a long ass time to catch up."

"Don't remind me," Leon sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He squinted at the screen a bit and pointed, looking to Axel. "There. Eighteen percent. Is that what you wanted?" he asked. The redhead's eyes nearly fell out of his face.

"What? Eighteen? Not eighty? There's no way that can be right!" Axel gasped. Roxas was speechless and furrowed his brows. Leon shrugged.

"I never paid attention to it before. 'Compatibility' doesn't mean shit to me. All I give a damn about is that he does what I say," he said. Cloud scowled but rolled his eyes, allowing Leon to have his machismo for a few more minutes.

"Why are you guys so interested in this all of a sudden?" the taller blonde asked. Axel rubbed his neck, looking at the screen confusedly. Roxas rubbed his face.

"It's been a really long week," the smaller blonde said. He proceeded to tell them all about Ventus and what his plan was. Leon listened with his back to them, his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. Cloud furrowed his brows together.

"You guys are making things way too complicated for yourselves," Leon said when Roxas finished. "Just tell him to fuck off and die."

"My, how considerate," Cloud snorted.

"Well it's true. It's what I would do if I was in the same scenario. The kid is encroaching on someone else's territory. If it were me, I would protect what's mine. Did he _say_ he was going to go to the Committee if you guys didn't do something for him?"

"No, but we don't know him well enough to determine that he won't. I'm going to take my time with this," Roxas said. Leon waved a dismissive hand.

"Personally, I think you're insane. You do whatever you want to your own project but I swear if he starts living here and he touches one of my girls, I'm going to break him in half and then I'm coming after you both," Leon threatened and gave Axel a glare, purposefully ignoring Roxas to spare him his angry expression. The redhead shrugged.

"You bring up a good point actually. Can prostitutes give up the lifestyle that easily? I mean, if I was having sex on an almost constant basis I don't know if I would be able to give it all up overnight. Going from tons of sex to none at all… wouldn't that be like trying to give up drinking or drugs?" Axel asked idly, a finger to his chin to emphasize his thinking face. "I didn't consider the possibility of him soliciting the others for sex if he comes here."

"See, this is why the Technicians know what they're doing, as much as we may not like them. They pull people away from their pasts and force them to start over so we have control of everything. This is why we do the Carrier part and they do the Technician part. They're the professionals. You two are essentially trying to do both jobs at once with your own system and it just isn't going to work," Leon said and rubbed his brows.

"I agree. I say drop the kid before he gets more involved than he already is. Take your chances with him going to the Committee, because odds are, they won't pay much attention to him if they already know his past," Cloud said.

"The possible pros of this outweigh the cons for me, actually," Axel said. "I'm all for giving the project a push. If we can avoid another ten, twenty, _eighty-three_ years of idle time, I'm all for it. All of my Charge candidates needed at least seventy-five years before I could make contact with them and if the trend starts to trickle down to the rest of my kind, we won't see natural offspring for hundreds of years possibly. I'm not that patient. I would like to do as much as I can to get it going as quickly as I can."

"Especially if Xemnas' drug works, we could be in business here relatively quickly," Roxas added and the redhead nodded his agreement. Cloud scoffed.

"You know what Leon?" the taller blonde asked.

"What's that, Cloud?" Leon asked in return.

"I'm really getting tired of the _kids_ ," Cloud said, pausing for emphasis and giving Axel and Roxas both the evil eye, "wanting to push shit with whatever convoluted scheme they can get their hands on. As I recall, you and I put in years and years of hard work for our progress and up until recently, haven't had any outside influences to help us. What is it with everyone lately with wanting to fuck with a system that already works?"

"You make a good point," Leon said and sighed. He contemplated for a minute and shrugged. "I don't know what everyone else's problem is."

"Everyone's circumstances are different. I have my own unique problems, Demyx and Zexion have their problems, Riku and Sora don't seem to have many issues but their progress is pretty stunted as well so they might. Your guy's program has gone relatively smoothly until the poaching so I don't want to hear any complaints. You guys had success in less than a hundred and forty years, which is phenomenal. I'm only sixty years behind you and I've just gotten started! How can you even compare that?" Axel asked, his tone sounding insulted.

"Don't assume all that we've done has been bump-free and easy," Leon said coolly.

"I never said that it was easy."

"You insinuated it was. But whatever, you do what you want, like I said. Use your drugs, bring in your…prostitute. I just don't want to hear it if it all blows up in your face."

"I won't let it," Axel said. Leon shrugged.

"So you say."

* * *

Roxas was waiting patiently for Axel to finish his shower before they went to sleep. For whatever reason, the redhead had insisted he needed to shower before bed every evening. It was a strange habit that the blonde couldn't comprehend because Axel would wake up the next morning and take another one regardless. He wondered how much the redhead's water bill was every month when he lived in Radiant Garden.

In order to keep himself occupied, Roxas completed the signup template that Ansem had sent for his drug. It seemed stable enough and the blonde trusted the Technician to know what he was doing so he wasn't all that concerned about it. Hopefully he and Axel wouldn't have some horrendous twelve hour romp like Demyx had expressed to everyone. Being that active for that long scared Roxas a bit even if everything they did was wonderful. After he finished filling the template out and sent it off to Ansem, Axel _still_ wasn't finished. Roxas sighed and dug around in his side table for Xemnas' tablet. He felt that if he was really going to go through with his plan involving Ventus, he should do some research.

As he cruised around the various applications Xemnas used in his travels, Roxas wondered in the back of his mind if anyone even realized that the tablet was missing. It seemed to him that it held some pretty important information. Wouldn't they want it back? Then again, he figured that tablets are like any other piece of portable equipment. They break, get lost, or are otherwise rendered unusable so maybe no one really cared. Xemnas' Catalogue terminal would be the real deal, Roxas figured. He easily found the preliminary report templates the Technicians used when finding a new Charge and his eyes widened. He never realized just how in depth the information was. The blonde sighed, he would have to drill Ventus for some very personal information and he wasn't looking forward to it.

Roxas was vaguely aware of the shower turning off. A few minutes later, he became vaguely aware of the redhead's weight on the end of the bed. A few seconds after that, he was vaguely aware of the weight crawling towards him. It wasn't until a set of thin fingers crested the top of the template and pulled the device out of his hands that Roxas became fully aware of the very naked and very wet Axel in front of him. The Carrier grinned at him and squashed his sopping hair into his chest. Roxas let out a yelp and shoved at him.

"Cold! Cold!" the blonde squealed as the moisture beaded on his skin and dripped into his bed linen. Axel laughed and pushed himself up just enough to shake his face back and forth, sending a chilling spray in all directions. Roxas sputtered and yelled. He reached behind himself and waited for Axel to still before pulling a pillow around and slapping him in the face with it. The redhead grunted in surprise before pulling the weapon away and flinging it over his shoulder. He supported himself on all fours, hovering over the blonde, who had slid down under the covers more. The redhead smiled down on him as more water dripped from his face and pattered against Roxas' skin.

"Hi Roxas," Axel said.

"Hello Axel," the blonde responded with a squint as a few more droplets fell on his face.

"It's bedtime, not work time," the redhead said matter-of-factly and picked up Xemnas' tablet and dried it on the comforter before setting it on the side table.

"I was just waiting for you to finish primping. Did you not see the towel I left you?"

"No I did. I just didn't care to use it."

"Oh. Well alright then."

"Is it a problem?"

"Well it is a bit cold, and now the blankets are wet. As is my carpeting and…" Roxas trailed and looked around for more evidence of misplaced moisture, "part of my wall, my side table, the lamp, both tablets, my pillows, and myself."

"Oh. My apologies. If it makes you feel better, I know for a fact that water evaporates and things tend to feel drier after that."

"Really?" the blonde asked with a smirk.

"Yes. I know this because I've spent millions of my own hard earned Credits researching this phenomenon. It's a fascinating concept. Almost as interesting as watching grass grow."

"Ah. Well I'll have to take your word for it then. I would ask for more evidence but I'm afraid my schedule is booked solid with more entertaining activities; like watching paint dry."

" _Fascinating_ ," Axel purred and gave the blonde a sly smile. "I have a better idea though."

"What would that be?"

"You could watch _me_ dry."

"Or, you could dry yourself with a towel and then come back. By that point, I might be more willing to roll around naked with you."

"I guess I could…" the redhead trailed, looking thoughtful.

"I'm afraid I must insist," the blonde said flatly, wiping the droplets from his face. Axel smiled and chuckled.

"Okay," he said and pushed himself off the bed again to return to the bathroom. Roxas sighed, his mind drifting to his previous demons. Hazy remembrances of a disemboweled antelope played through the back of his mind and he squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them to make it stop. Perhaps Ventus wasn't as much of a distraction as Roxas was hoping he would be.

He got out of bed to retrieve his thrown pillow and Axel emerged from the bathroom and roughly the same time. The redhead caught the blonde from behind and snaked an arm around his waist and leaned forward to plant a series of kisses between his shoulder blades. Roxas knew all the extra attention stemmed from him ignoring Axel for the most part as far as the physical things went but he couldn't help himself. He hated that he had basically lied to the redhead when he said he wasn't concerned about his Primal anymore. It made his stomach twist into knots when he thought about how much he might hurt Axel if he went back on his word. He gripped his pillow tightly and took a breath to calm himself.

"…If this isn't okay, you're allowed to say something," Axel said as if he could read the blonde's mind.

"It's fine," Roxas blurted quickly. The redhead furrowed his brows a bit and let out an exasperated sigh. He released the blonde abruptly, his patience waning. He strode to where he had left his clothing and began to pull on his shorts.

"I can't help what I am, Roxas. You didn't have a problem with me until I tried to show you new things that we would need to do in the future. Your inability to accept change that you can't control is really grating on my nerves and I'm not sure how much more I can take of you pushing me away," Axel said blandly, pulling up his zipper angrily. Roxas turned to look at him, mouth hanging open a little.

"Wait, no, Axel," the blonde said quietly. Axel pulled his shirt over his head.

"Do you love me? Or do you only love part of me?" the redhead asked sternly. Roxas opened his mouth to say something but the words wouldn't come. Axel waited for him to think of an answer, his jaw flexing as he ground his teeth together. After a few moments of silence, he shook his head a bit and made his way towards the door. Roxas panicked.

"No! Don't leave," he pleaded and the redhead hesitated a bit. He let out a dry, breathy laugh.

"Why did I think your confession to me was genuine? It was abrupt, out of nowhere, and without reason. It surprised me so much it brought tears to my eyes because I knew it wasn't a Roxas-like move. Isn't there a saying that goes something like 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?' Well, I think I'll save myself some shame and not give you another chance to fool me. When you grow up a little and can accept me completely, come to me and prove it. Otherwise, I can't do anything else except work with you," Axel said and pulled the door open. He left quietly, leaving Roxas gaping at the door as it clicked shut. The blonde's chest suddenly felt like it had imploded, leaving a gaping hole where his heart was.

He gripped his pillow between shaking hands, his breath getting caught in his throat. He stared at the door, willing Axel to come back and tell him it was all some twisted joke. In the back of his mind, Roxas knew it wasn't one. He didn't want to admit it though. He swallowed thickly as his world fell to pieces little by little around him. It was the final straw for him. The last nail in the proverbial coffin. He didn't even have any tears to shed because he had wasted them on everything else that had happened. The hurt compacted itself when he realized how all of his other problems paled in comparison to this one. He had taken Axel for granted. His kindness, his patience, his strength, his stability, his…love. It had never occurred to him that Axel might snap and leave. What made it worse was that he left because of something Roxas fabricated himself. The blonde had no one else to blame for this one.

It was his own fault.


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

"I don't know what to tell you, Ax," Zack said and swirled his coffee around in his cup. Axel heaved a heavy sigh and let his head drop forward onto the exam table. It had been three days since he had cut all romantic ties to Roxas and he was hurting. The blonde had resorted to his original way of dealing with things: seclusion. Axel didn't see his Charge at all for two days before he showed up to work for three hours and then left again. They didn't speak very much, they didn't eat together, and they most certainly didn't go near each other's bedrooms. Axel had gone to Zack and Tifa for moral support and to ask for advice. Only, Tifa was out doing something else.

"How did you react when Tifa had to kill and eat something in front of you for the first time?" Axel asked, his voice partly muffled by the tabletop.

"I was a little grossed out, but we were pretty stable by that point so I didn't really care all that much. I made her brush her teeth about twenty times though. She said she couldn't taste anything for two days after that, which I laughed at."

"Roxas and I have never been stable. My bringing him here was sloppy and rushed and caused a whole bunch of problems. Sometimes I wonder if that was the catalyst for all of this. _Everything_ seems to be rushed and triggering problem after problem, be it my fault or someone else's. By this point though, part of me wants to just take a step back and wipe the slate clean and start over. The other part of me wants to push forward and try to sort things out but there's so much to figure out that I don't even know where to begin."

"Wipe the slate clean? Like how? Find a new Charge and everything?" Zack asked, raising a brow.

"Possibly. I've damaged him and I feel like an asshole for it but at the same time, he hasn't made my life all that much easier either. Everything we do gets fucked up somehow by either an outside influence or Roxas' erratic mentality."

"Maybe he needs medication or therapy. I had to take anti-depressants for years after I quit drinking like I used to. It made dealing with everything much easier and let me bond with Tifa more. I went off them after about ten years and found that Tifa was all I needed but I was too screwed in the head to see it before. Personally, I would push forward. Wiping your hands of the situation never got anyone anywhere."

"I know. I don't want to replace him. He's just so unhappy all the time anymore. I don't know what to do to help him. It was dragging me down so much I finally had to cut it and sort of bitch slap him. I have to worry about myself, too."

"Self preservation is the building block of all things human, my friend. You need to be sane before you can even hope to help anyone else. Taking a step back was an okay move so long as you don't dump him completely and let him get too down in the dumps. Sit on the sidelines for a while and keep an eye on him. It's really all you can do."

"I suppose," the redhead sighed and folded his arms on the table and laid his cheek on them. "I think I need a change. Like… for myself."

"Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll mess around on the Catalogue and see what I can come up with. A new tattoo, maybe a different hair style."

"I envy you guys. Any sort of body modification I want to do always seems like I need a government contract before I start. With you, all it is basically an on/off switch."

"Government contract?" Axel asked and raised a brow.

"Which means I need to ask Tifa," Zack said and chuckled. Axel laughed.

"You're so whipped."

"And I'm happy that way, honestly. I know a lot of other guys that would call me a bunch of names because of it but Tifa treats me right and gives me everything she can. I mean…she saved my life when she could've easily chosen someone else, you know? If being a little whipped is my repayment for all that, then I can deal with it. Plus, it's not like she's overbearing or anything. I can understand if she doesn't want me to be covered in ink and holes."

"See, I almost wish Roxas' downfall would've been something that he would've died from because the selfish part of me wants to have that gratitude from him. All his downfall was, was him being miserable and losing all motivation for anything productive and losing his drive."

"Can I say something that might make you feel like shit?"

"…Do I have a choice?"

"Not really," Zack said and smiled. Axel rolled his eyes.

"Go ahead then."

"It sounds like to me that his downfall and his current situation are basically one and the same. He was _supposed_ to be miserable and lose all his drive. Well…he _has_. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I see what you mean. And yes, it made me feel like shit," Axel huffed.

"Yeah well, I kind of figured you were already feeling that way so I didn't see the hurt."

" _Wonderful_ ," Axel sighed. Zack shrugged.

"If you're hurting so bad for him, why are you pushing him away?"

"Call me immature, but I feel he needs to know what it feels like. First, he was pissy and pushing me away for dressing strangely. Then it was because of homosexuality. Now, after all the masks and all the labels are gone he chooses to push me away for being me. Not 'Axel the weird Genetics professor' or 'Axel the sexual deviant' or anything else. He has a problem with _me_. The core of myself, the one part I can't change for him. I would've almost preferred he was racist or something else equally as stupid because at the very least I could change my skin color to suit him. I have _nothing_ else to be discriminated against aside from being a Carrier and he chooses to zero in on that one point. Religion, gender, skin color, sexual preference, hair color, eye color, my height, clothes, hair style, my fucking dick size, _everything_ is changeable but I _have_ to be a Carrier. I'm hurt, I'm insulted, and I feel like he's been lying to me from the very beginning. It's…it's maddening."

"Damn," Zack snorted and took a sip of his coffee.

"That's it? That's all you have to say?" Axel asked and laughed a bit.

"Yep. I'd be pissed off too if it makes you feel any better."

"It does. I don't feel quite as horrible now. At least I know I'm not just flipping out for nothing and someone else agrees. What I don't understand is why now? I've eaten raw meat in front of him since day one, we held conversations while I'm in my Primal form, as much as I hate to say it I've _attacked_ him, we've done so much together yet he waits until I'm at the end of rope with the emotional roller coasters to push me away. I realize the shit he went through in quarantine was a big deal, but I can't do anything for him if he can't even be around me. My methodology obviously didn't help very much but he doesn't let anything out to give me any indication as to how to assist him."

"You can't rip the information out of him. He's lost and I bet he probably won't be able to figure it out, which means you'll be out of luck until he either gets over it, or has an epiphany. Maybe both."

"Great. Meanwhile the project and my sanity fly out the proverbial window," Axel spat.

"Now now, passive aggressiveness never got anyone anywhere, either," Zack chided. Axel rubbed his eyes with a heavy sigh.

"Maybe he does need to see someone. Someone who isn't me."

"Go out and find someone. Or get Sora to talk to him."

"…I didn't consider Sora. That's not a bad idea, actually."

"Good. Meanwhile, you need to get out and get some fresh air. Do something for yourself even if it's little and stupid."

* * *

"Sora, I don't want to go out," Roxas sighed as he pulled the covers over his head. He felt like absolute garbage mentally and physically. Whether or not he was legitimately sick or if it was just his mind pitting itself against him, he couldn't tell. The brunette huffed in the doorway and stepped inside, closing it behind him roughly.

"I haven't seen you in like three fucking days and here I come to find out you're being a pussy in your bedroom? Good god, Roxas. What happened to you?" Sora asked grumpily.

"What do you mean 'what happened to you?'" the blonde asked, just as grumpily. The brunette rolled his eyes and stomped over to his brother's bed and stepped onto it. He walked across the comforter and placed a foot on either side of the depressed lump and grabbed the covers. He yanked them out of Roxas' fingers and the older sibling sent him a glare from out of his peripheral vision. He shivered a bit as the sudden breeze chilled his topless torso. Sora glowered down on him.

"You're being a bitch, you know that? It used to be that relationship trouble hardly fazed you. It used to be that you'd laugh at roadkill. It used to be that you could handle just about anything with a straight face and still be my _older brother_. Not my six year old sister. Now, get the fuck up. We're going out," the brunette ordered and stalked down the bed, pulling the blankets behind him so Roxas couldn't huddle away anymore. He yanked them off the bed completely and across the carpeting. He flung the blonde's armoire open and began rifling through his clothes. Roxas sat up just in time to catch a pile of fabric with his face.

"You're not going to let me shower?" he asked.

"No because you might cut your wrists while you shave, emo kid. You can brush your teeth," Sora said. Roxas rolled his eyes and straightened his shirt out before pulling it over his head. He shuffled out of the bed and wiggled out of his pajama pants and replaced them with his jeans. Apparently he wasn't allowed to have any clean underwear either. Sora disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes and came back with the blonde's toothbrush primed and ready for use. Roxas sighed and took the little plastic stick and shoved it in his mouth so he could finish pulling on his socks. After brushing properly, finding his shoes, washing is face, and running his fingers through his bed head, Roxas was presentable enough for Sora's tastes. The brunette shoved him out of his bedroom and down the hallways, through the doors, and out into regular society.

"So what are we doing?" Roxas asked flatly.

"We're walking," Sora said simply.

"Yeah, but to where?"

"Fuck if I know. You just need to get out and do something. Riku gave me some money so we could go out to eat, get some coffee, go shopping, whatever."

"I should be working."

"Oh, you were _so_ getting ready to do that when I found you. Yeah, right," the brunette said sarcastically. "What's wrong with you?"

"Recently? According to everyone else, I'm a bitch, bipolar, and a terrible boyfriend. Not to mention generally mentally unstable."

"So I hear. You really need to stop cock blocking yourself. It's not healthy and it probably gives Axel some serious blue balls, which is also not good. Denying oneself of sexual release is the beginning junction down the road to prostate cancer, Roxas."

"Thank you Sora. I'll keep that in mind," Roxas sighed.

"I hear you've gotten over your thing with Leon though. Why is Axel the problem now?"

"I haven't been around Leon much. The last time I was he had his back to me the entire time and he wasn't angry as far as I could tell. I think what happened between us is what set my problems off with Axel though. I can't think of any other logical reason."

"Maybe you're focusing on the wrong issue. Maybe you're just transferring your problems with Leon onto Axel because you're around him more and it's an outlet. You never found a therapist for what happened to Xemnas, you know? You probably should."

"You know how I feel about therapy and all the mental bullshit."

"Yeah, but you're putting yourself through your own mental bullshit by trying to deal with it yourself. If you can't go to Axel about it, then you need to try someone else. I'll listen if you want me to but I'm not a professional and I can only give you my two cents. I also happen to lack a prescription pad."

"You think I need to take meds?"

"Maybe. Not okay?"

"No, not okay," Roxas said and sent his sibling a glare. Sora shrugged.

"I'm just telling you what I think. You need a distraction that much I know. Something nice amongst all the yuck and unhappy."

"I had one of those once."

"Yeah? What did you do to it?"

"Ruined it."

"Oh. What was it?"

"It was about six foot four with red hair and tattoos under its eyes."

"…That was really dramatic, you know that?"

"It's true though. I…I ruined the one good thing I had because I can't keep myself together. He told me to grow up and figure it out before I came back to him. I would have to prove myself before he would even consider anything outside of a working relationship again."

"And let me guess. You've spent the last three days trying to figure out how you can do that?" Sora asked.

"Most of it, yeah. The rest of the time was spent trying to figure out what the fuck my problem is."

"I see. Didn't come up with anything?"

"Obviously. If I had, we wouldn't be here right now," Roxas said.

"True," Sora agreed.

They spent the rest of their walk in relative silence which was only disrupted when either of them saw something that they could make a comment about. They wandered around the city in no specific direction and without a specific plan. They passed by most of the shops and boutiques and only purchased food when they became hungry and a cup of coffee because Sora wanted caffeine. After several hours of window shopping and mild people watching, the sun was beginning to set and they decided to head home. Roxas' spirits were a little lighter than what they once were and he found he could smile at some of his younger brother's random outbursts. He was glad Sora had come to him and forced him out of his hole, even if it was just a little bit. The blonde still couldn't figure out what he could do to prove his feelings for Axel, but the outing wasn't a total loss. He was able to think a little clearer about everything and he was a little more confident the he'd be able to figure it out.

"Hey Roxas?" Sora asked curiously.

"Yeah?" Roxas responded.

"…Do you know where we are?" the brunette asked, stopping his steady gait to look around. Roxas furrowed his brows and took in their surroundings. There weren't any stores around and the buildings were much taller than what they would normally be. It was clearly residential but the quality was slipping. Most of the buildings appeared to be vacant. The windows weren't open holes in the walls like some of the nicer houses had. They had glass panes like regular windows had and in some cases, bars or grates over them. The outer layers of the concrete or plaster finishes were chipping in some places and a lot of the doors had dents and missing knobs. It was quickly becoming obvious to them both that they had stumbled into the seedy end of the neighborhood and Roxas' blood ran cold. There wouldn't be any Technicians or Carriers here and without a public shop around, they wouldn't have a terminal to call home with. The biggest problem was, it was quickly growing darker out and in less than an hour, they'd be open to whatever night life had to offer them.

"No, no I don't. This is bad," Roxas said and looked behind him. The street they had followed seemed endless and neither of them was paying much attention to where they were going to begin with. Sora swallowed thickly.

"Where do you think we should go?" he asked quietly, as if he felt that the volume of his voice mattered all of a sudden.

"Well…do you know if the sun sets in the west here? I've never paid attention before. Because if we can figure out where west is, I know the facility is in the northeast and we can sort of figure it out."

"I have no idea, dude. I never paid attention either."

"Fuck," the blonde sighed and looked around. There weren't any people around, which was strange and added to the unsettling atmosphere. Everything was eerily quiet and one by one, the streetlights started to flicker on. At least, they were supposed to flicker on. Most of them had blown out or were rendered otherwise useless and the disjointed lighting made things even bleaker.

"Well we can't just stand here, we need to find a phone or something," Sora said and Roxas nodded in agreement. They picked a direction and went for it. They walked as quietly as they could for a little over an hour. By the time they found a person, it was pitch black outside. In the distance, standing under one of the few working streetlamps, was a woman. Roxas sighed and rolled his eyes. To him, she was obviously a hooker just by the way she was dressed. Most of her skin was exposed and she wore gaudy bangles and bracelets from her rail-thin arms. She stood on extremely thin tall heels and carried a purse that was just big enough to hold her cigarettes and a box of condoms. Her hair was stringy and unclean and as they drew closer to her, Roxas could tell she was much older than she should be if she was truly working the streets. Maybe she was the reason no one else was around. Natural people repellant.

"Excuse me," Roxas said when they came close. Sora hung back behind the blonde and watched her from around his shoulder. The woman turned to them and exhaled a cloud of cigarette smoke to the side. Her appearance was absolutely terrifying for someone that was looking for potential customers and Roxas desperately wished they could've found someone else that was less disgusting. She squinted her make-up encrusted eyes at him and stared at his face for a few minutes before rasping out a ragged cough that shook her entire body. Roxas flinched a bit even though he wasn't close enough to be in the line of fire.

"'S that you, Ven? Who's yer friend?" she asked hoarsely and stuck her cigarette in her mouth again.

"Um. No. Actually, we're lost and I was hoping you might let us borrow your cell phone? Or know where we can find one?" the blonde asked hesitantly, hoping his politeness would keep her from coming any closer to him. Sora leaned into his ear.

"I think she's about to die," he whispered as the woman hacked away, puffing out several lungfuls of carcinogens. Eventually, her coughing stilled and she straightened.

"Baby I don't got one, but I got somethin' else if yer lookin' for some fun," she said in a tone Roxas could only assume was her attempt at being sultry. He nearly gagged. "You got such a pretty face I almost thought you were a friend o' mine. Lord knows Venny won't let me touch his pretty ass. You'd be doin' me a favor if you'd fill that little fantasy o' mine. I'll even knock down the price for yer friend there."

"Wait," Sora interjected. "You know Ventus?"

"Sweetie who _doesn't_ know 'im?" she asked and gave him a crooked smile. She was missing a few teeth and Roxas almost wanted to pull out a marker and write 'gutter skank' across the ones that were still in place. If only he had a marker.

"Do you know where we could find him?" Sora asked and the blonde glared at him from over his shoulder.

"Fuck no!" Roxas said. The brunette scowled.

"He's got a phone and a car, shut up," Sora spat. The woman raised her brows at them. The hamsters in their wheels turned sluggishly and forced her brain to think for a few moments. She made a disgruntled face.

"You boys can afford him?" she asked. Roxas resisted the urge to deny all forms of accusation she was implying. What Sora said was true, and as much as Roxas hated to admit it, they needed his help.

"Sure we can," the blonde said flatly. Sora snickered a bit. The woman looked them over a bit more and inhaled another lungful of her cigarette. She took her time to absorb the smoke before exhaling again. She turned to the side and pointed a thin finger down the street.

"Four building's down, 'partment 6G," she said. Roxas and Sora's eyes widened a bit. "Tell 'im Maggie said he owes her a polish fer sendin' you."

"…A polish?" Sora asked stupidly. She gave him another strange grin.

"Polish my pearl, sweetie," she said.

"Oh god," Roxas gagged and grabbed Sora's wrist and hauled him down the street towards Ventus' apartment building. The brunette watched the woman for a few seconds before picking up his feet properly and trailing after his brother.

"Pearls?" Sora asked. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Pearl. Singular. She means Ventus owes her oral sex, Sora. Pearl equates to clitoris."

"Augh! Nasty! She was so gross!" the brunette gasped. Roxas shook his head with a sigh. Sora let out a whimper as he was assaulted with the mental images associated with all that he had learned. "I'll never take Riku's pretty face for granted again, I feel like crying."

"How do you think I feel? I had to explain it to you," Roxas said. Sora huffed and mashed his palms into his eyes. They walked quickly instead of running. They didn't want to bring any unwanted attention to themselves even if they both desperately wanted to be inside the building and away from the streets. The door to the building in question let out a horrible squeak when Roxas pulled it open and they both winced. There was a wall of buttons that buzzed their respective apartments and Sora was first to find '6G' and press it. There wasn't an intercom or anything for the person in the living area to confirm who the visitor was, which Roxas found strange. The inner door clicked loudly as it was unlocked and they quickly ran up the stairs, following the oversized signs on the walls. Once they climbed up to level 'G,' they stopped. Most of the lights in the hallway were blown out and they took a few minutes to squint at the faded numbers on the doors. Eventually, they found the sixth one and Roxas took a deep breath before he knocked. It took Ventus a few moments to answer.

"Whoa. You guys aren't Gustav," the older blonde snorted when he took in his visitors.

"We need your phone," Roxas blurted grumpily.

"Well hold your horses, I have a client coming up here in a few," Ventus said. There was a loud buzz, and the older blonde let out a sigh and pressed the button to let 'Gustav' in.

"Two minutes," Roxas urged. Ventus scowled.

"Why the fuck should I? You're interrupting my paycheck. Wait out here until I'm finished."

"Please?" Sora asked nicely. Ventus' annoyed eyes flicked to him briefly before looking to Roxas again. There were heavy footsteps to be heard from the open door to the staircase a few yards away and he fidgeted a bit. He sighed.

"Alright fine. In," he said and opened his door the rest of the way. Roxas and Sora were quick to enter. Ventus shut the door quickly and nudged them along.

The first thing Roxas noticed about Ventus' apartment was the distinct lack of doors. Everything was open to the world including every storage area available. As he was pushed along down a dingy hallway, he could make out the bathroom as well as two bedrooms. At the end of the hall was an open area of a living room with an adjoining kitchen and even there, all of the cabinetry was doorless. The entire home was drab, gray, and mostly empty save for a few key pieces of furniture like the bed and a seating arrangement. Ventus ushered them along and plopped them on the couch in his living room. Roxas looked around.

"Where's your terminal?" he asked.

"In my bedroom. Like I said, you need to wait until I'm finished. Stay here, be quiet, don't move," Ventus said irritably. There was a loud knock on his front door.

"We can't use your cell phone?" Roxas persisted. Ventus began to head back towards the entrance.

"No, it's my work line," the older blonde called behind him as he disappeared down the hall. Roxas' jaw dropped and he looked to Sora. The brunette looked to him with wide eyes.

"He doesn't have any doors…" Sora trailed, whispering.

"I know," Roxas said flatly. The front door swung inward, letting out a small squeak.

"Gustav!" Ventus twittered with a grin. "How's my favorite sociopath?"

"Needy," a gravely male voice echoed down the hall. Roxas furrowed his brows as he heard Ventus chuckle lowly.

"Gloria's still holding out is she?"

"Stupid bitch. Never would've proposed if I knew she would turn on me three years down the line," Gustav growled and clomped into the home. The door closed gently.

"Eh…her loss, right?" Ventus purred and pulled Gustav along towards the bedroom. Roxas rubbed his brows and heaved a light sigh. There was a light squeak of bedsprings as one of them landed on the mattress. The other was quick to follow and the sounds of heavy and wet kissing echoed into the living room, making Roxas' skin crawl.

"This isn't worth a god damned phone call," the blonde spat quietly. He stood from the couch and quietly made his way into the open kitchen and started searching for anything he could use, preferably Ventus' car keys. He would rather take his lookalike's vehicle than sit around and listen to him have sex with someone. Is if on cue, the bed squeaked again and there was a loud rustling of clothing being removed and tossed to the floor. Roxas' search became more urgent but he couldn't find anything. He ran his fingers through his hair angrily and ground his teeth together. Sora had taken to holding his ears closed to block out the noise. Roxas went to the couch again.

"We can't even leave. What if they see us? He told us not to move," the brunette whispered, ears still closed. Roxas shrugged and plugged his ears, resigning himself to his fate. He closed his eyes for good measure. It was another fifteen minutes before his eyes flew open again when the sounds of Ventus' loud panting and moaning broke through to his eardrums. He glared at the carpeting as his blood slowly started to boil. Sora's eyes were wide as well and they looked to each other, sharing in the trauma. The pleasurable sounds continued as the older blonde put up a good performance for his client and after twenty minutes of being able to hear everything, Roxas sighed and pulled his fingers out of his ears. It didn't matter if he tried to block it out anymore. He silently wondered if Gustav had a problem climaxing or if he had incredible stamina because Ventus' vocalizations hadn't stopped and they had been going at it for over a half an hour. Sora gave up his futile effort to stop the noise as well and settled for holding his head in his hands with a heavy sigh.

"Fuck," Gustav growled as everything started to slow. The squeaking of the bed, Ventus' pants, and the client's own grunts dwindled until they stopped completely.

"What's the matter?" Ventus asked softly, his voice laden with concern. Roxas raised a brow as he strained a curious ear to listen. Gustav spoke too quietly for him to hear though. "Did you want me to get the stuff?" Ventus asked. Again, Gustav spoke quietly and Roxas couldn't hear. The bed squeaked again with movement before Ventus emerged from the bedroom, completely naked. Roxas snorted back a comment and his hands flew up to his eyes. Sora let out a quiet squeak, but his eyes froze in place as the older blonde ignored them and went to a storage area in the hallway to rifle through its contents. Ventus pulled out several pieces of leather something or other and a length of chain that clattered across the floor before heading back into the bedroom. The conversation resumed between he and Gustav. Roxas couldn't listen because as soon as the older blonde was out of sight, Sora nearly pounced on him.

"Roxas! He's got _metal_ in his _dick_! Did you see it?" the brunette whispered hysterically. Roxas batted at him and shoved him away.

"Yeah I saw it! Stop!" he whispered back, smacking at his sibling's grabbing hands. Sora refused to let go of his arm, despite his struggling. Ventus had not one, but _three_ piercings in his appendage. Roxas knew one of them was a Prince Albert but he didn't know the names of the other two, either way, he was completely disgusted. "We need to leave. _Now_ ," he sneered quietly.

"Where are we going to go? We don't know anyone else. What if… what if Ventus' neighbors are rapists? Oh god, Roxas!" Sora pouted sadly, his voice turning hoarse as he tried to keep it quiet. Roxas grabbed the brunette's shoulders and shook him a little.

"Calm the fuck down," he growled lowly. In the bedroom, the chain clinked together gently and there was a resounding ' _smack_ ' before Ventus let out a loud and unabashed moan. Roxas and Sora stared at each other, wide eyed and wordless. The bed began to squeak again and Gustav's grunts rang out. Ventus was reduced to a puddle of pants and moans again that thundered through the tiny apartment the longer they persisted. The chain's clinking and the following cracks against the older blonde's skin broke through the rest of the noise though, searing the mental imagery into Roxas and Sora's minds. After a good ten minutes of the cacophony, Gustav let out a loud groan and the chain clattered to the floor. There was a series of loud slaps of skin against skin that shook Ventus' voice before Gustav grunted and the activity halted suddenly. Both bodies panted heavily for a few minutes.

"My goodness," Ventus said with a light twitter behind his voice. Gustav chuckled. "I would say I'd make you dinner after that one but I'm afraid our time is almost up."

"Another hour?" Gustav questioned, sounding hopeful. There was a pause and a thoughtful ' _hmm_ ' from Ventus.

"Please say no, please say no," Sora chanted quietly.

"I would love to, but I have another appointment right after you. You still have ten minutes though if you can think of something," Ventus offered. Gustav was silent for a minute before the bed squeaked a few times. Ventus chuckled. "You're so sweet," he cooed. Roxas furrowed his brows together, expecting a bunch of disturbing noises to follow. The silence baffled him. There was an occasional light pucker of lips parting but other than that, Gustav's remaining ten minutes were tame and quiet. Ventus' cell phone let out a series of beeps, signaling their time was up.

"Damn," Gustav sighed. The bed squeaked again as they parted and there was a series of rustling sounds as clothes were picked up off the floor. They both padded into the hallway quietly and Ventus' front door opened.

"Next week. Same time. You know where to find me if something comes up," Venus said.

"Alright," Gustav said. There was a brief silence before there was another quieter beep. The door closed quietly and Ventus let out a sigh before coming back into the living room.

"Are you both out of your fucking minds? What the hell was with all the talking?" Ventus yelped at them. He was dressed in his underwear, glaring at them both with a little black device in his hand. Roxas' jaw dropped open.

"Don't you even get angry at us! You could've let us use the damn phone and we could've been gone!" he yelled back.

"I told you to wait out in the hall. Sora's the one who went all doe eyed at me and basically begged to let you guys in. I was doing you a damn favor! If Gustav had found out you guys were out here, we'd all be fucking dead."

"Why? He's got a problem with an audience?" Roxas spat.

"No, because he's a god damned politician. He risks his reputation to come see me because his fourth wife is a fucking nun when it comes to their love life. He packs heat everywhere he goes and if he had found you guys, we'd all be brains splattered against my walls. You get me?"

"…Are you that good or something?" Sora asked. Roxas smacked him in the chest. "Ow! What? A politician is a big deal!" he protested. Ventus sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Whatever. What's done is done. He's deaf in one ear so I knew there wasn't much of a chance he'd hear you unless you guys were really obnoxious," he said. Roxas noticed that Ventus' wrists were bruising and he had a series of welts and lashes against his chest.

"Didn't that hurt?" the younger blonde asked. Ventus looked at his chest and shrugged.

"Not really. My Home terminal is in my room, go ahead," he said.

"I'm almost afraid to go in there," Sora said. Roxas rolled his eyes and pushed himself off of the couch.

"Make it quick, I'm busy," Ventus added as Roxas made his way down the hall.

Ventus' bedroom was sparse. There was a closet (with no doors), a large bed, a chair, and the Home terminal that hung off the wall in the corner. The floor was littered with clothing and the air smelled of sex. The chain was where Gustav had dropped it off the side of the bed and there was a series of leather straps amongst the disheveled comforter. Roxas cringed when he took in several used condoms that had been tied in a knot as well as their accompanying wrappers. He gingerly pulled the chair over to the Home terminal and prodded the machine until it turned on. He had to concentrate a bit since he was used to the overly complex system the facility used but he eventually found the access point for the dome's directory. He connected to the facility, and then typed in Axel's model number. He selected the terminal in the lab and let it ring. After a while of silence, he tried Axel's room terminal. The redhead answered and Roxas gaped a bit. He was presented with a view of his Genetics professor. Axel had replaced the beading and strange charms and bells in his hair. They clinked together as he moved, just as Roxas remembered.

"Whoa. Nostalgia," the blonde said. Axel raised a brow. If the redhead had replaced all of the piercings the he had had previously, Roxas might have been reduced to tears by the sudden flood of memories. The look wasn't exact, but it was close and it made his chest hurt.

"Where are you?" Axel asked, ignoring the blonde's outburst.

"Um…good question," Roxas said. Ventus strode in and Axel's face blanked as he took the older blonde in. Ventus went about picking up the condoms and straightening out his bed.

"Ventus?" Axel asked and the older blonde waved to him before heading back out of the room. "Roxas…you didn't…" the redhead said quietly, his brows pushing together worriedly. It took a moment for the blonde to register what he was insinuating and he gasped.

"No! No way! Fuck! No!" he blurted quickly.

"…I don't know if I should believe you. I don't know what to think about you anymore," Axel said hesitantly.

"No no! I didn't! I would never!" Roxas insisted. Axel looked away for a brief second before turning back to him.

"So…why did you call then?" he asked, deflecting the rest of the conversation.

"Sora and I got lost and we found this gutter skank that told us where Ventus was because we knew he had a phone and a car and we ended up here but he had a client so we had to sit around and wait for him to finish and I hated it and it made me sick to my stomach and I would never sleep with him because he's a whore and he's gross and I really hope you can believe me because I need your help and I don't know where we are," Roxas sputtered quickly in one long, hysterical sentence. His mind was a frenzy of activity as he scrambled to amend whatever hurt he had caused the redhead by calling him. Axel looked contemplative for a moment.

"Well unless Ventus can give you a ride, there isn't much I can do. I don't know where you are either but if you're way on the other side of the city, which I think you are, I won't be able to make it to you before curfew anyway."

"…Curfew?"

"Carriers have a curfew, Roxas. We're not allowed to be out after nine."

"…So unless Ventus cancels his appointments and gives us a ride home, we're stuck here for the night?"

"I'm afraid so," Axel said quietly. Roxas ran his fingers through his hair several times before slamming his fist down on the terminal's keyboard.

" _Fuck_."


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55**

For as disgusting as it was, Roxas couldn't help but admire how organized Ventus' little operation was. His clients only stuck around for an hour, he gave himself a half hour break in between, and his partners alternated between male and female. Apparently he had an entire schedule set up in his cell phone with alarms to signal the end of everyone's time with him. The little black device Roxas didn't recognize turned out to be a portable Credit machine. Since physical money wasn't used, transactions between individuals needed to be done electronically. Ventus' little machine kept a running total of his profits for him to hook up to his account when he was finished and everything moved through at once. Roxas had a hard time digesting the fact that the older blonde's clients were paying for sex with Credit cards even if 'credit' was the currency name versus the pits of debt. It was very strange to him and only added to how much he disliked Ventus.

Much to the younger blonde's chagrin, Cloud and Leon weren't answering any of his calls. He had tried them twice with the hopes that Cloud would take pity on him and Sora and come get them. Little did Roxas know that they both slept like dead rocks and one simple phone call wasn't going to wake either of them. He just thought he was being ignored, which was something he sort of expected but it was still upsetting. Roxas spent the entire time Ventus was 'working' sulking around in the living room and trying to ignore it. Sora had reduced himself to huddling on the couch with his hands over his ears. The worst part about it was that Ventus worked a complete eight and a half hour shift, which was also mildly admirable but equally as disgusting. With all the noise, the traumatizing sounds and general disturbances, sleep for either innocent party was nonexistent. By the time Ventus was finished for the evening it was nearly four in the morning.

Roxas could hardly keep his eyes open. He was so incredibly tired but he couldn't let himself fall asleep in Ventus' vicinity after hearing so much. He desperately wanted his bed, and hauled himself off of the couch to stagger into Ventus' bedroom doorway. Much to his surprise, Ventus was sitting on his bed, completely unperturbed by all the physical activity and abuse he put himself through. His fingers typed away at the little pad of numbers on his Credit machine. Roxas sniffed the air a bit and wrinkled his nose when he noticed a little dish with a trail of smoke coming from it and a white stick jutting from its side. The only problem was, it didn't smell like cigarettes.

"Are you fucking kidding?" the younger blonde snorted angrily as he glowered at Ventus.

"What are we supposed to be joking about?" the other asked plainly.

"Please do _not_ tell me you're smoking pot."

"…Smoking what?"

"Pot. Marijuana. Mary Jane," Roxas rattled off.

"What? Oh this?" Ventus asked and picked up the white stick from the dish and stuck it between his lips.

"No, I meant the other thing you're smoking. Yes. That."

"This is Zen. What's 'pot?'"

"It smells like the same shit to me. Where I come from, that's pot and it's illegal."

"This isn't illegal. It's organic. Nothing organic is illegal here," Ventus said and took a deep inhale before setting the stick, a very tightly packed blunt, aside again. He held the smog in his system for a bit before exhaling and poking at his little machine again, adding his total up. Roxas furrowed his brows.

"Well whatever it is, stop it. I need you to take us home."

"I'm not your taxi service. I'm hardly even a bed and breakfast and you're lucky I let you guys stay in here otherwise you could've spent the night outside. That, in comparison, could've been a disaster. Be happy with what you have."

"It's four in the fucking morning. I'm irritable and—"

"Look. I'm tired and I've done what I can for you. I'll give Axel directions when he's allowed out and you'll be gone in two hours, tops. Just leave me alone until then if you're going to be an asshole."

"Done what you can? How about all you're willing to?"

"Is there a difference? You want to know why I drive a shitty car? So no one steals it at night. I don't leave my apartment after dark and neither should you. Only people looking to get robbed, killed or raped go out after dark around here. If I happen to get caught out at night when I'm coming home from something I run like a little bitch to get inside. I'm serious," Ventus said. "Now either mellow out with me or go sit on the damn couch."

"I'm not fucking smoking with you."

"Then the couch awaits," the older blonde said and pointed out the door.

"Do you smell pot?" Sora asked abruptly, coming up behind his brother and looking over his shoulder with a thoughtful face. Roxas heaved an irritated sigh and rolled his eyes. The brunette sniffed a little.

"Go lay down, Sora," the younger blonde said and rubbed his eyes. His sibling ignored him and squinted at Ventus.

"Want some?" Ventus asked and felt around his comforter behind the little ash tray. He produced a plastic bag that had a manufacture's label on it like he had legitimately purchased it from a store; Roxas wasn't entirely convinced. Sora, on the other hand, was very interested.

"I'm tempted," the brunette admitted. Roxas threw his hands up in the air with another roll of his eyes and he stomped out of the doorway back towards the living room. Ventus sighed and shook his head. Sora glared at his brother as he disappeared around the corner.

"Come on," the older blonde urged and waved Sora over. The brunette mulled it over for a minute before stepping inside. Ventus pointed to a large ball of cloth that had been tossed on the floor. "Those are the dirty sheets. These are clean," he assured and patted the bed. Sora hesitated. "I promise. Did you want me to change them again in front of you?"

"No it isn't that, I'm just a little concerned about what Riku would think."

"I'm not really sure why you're both so hung up about it. Is it really illegal where you guys come from?"

"Yeah. It's considered a drug."

"Well the only illegal 'drugs' I know about come in pills and liquid form. Shit that comes from seeds and the ground in its purest form isn't illegal. Now if I was to somehow alter this in some way to make it more potent, then it would be illegal. But as far as I know, it was grown, picked and dried. That's it. They sell it in the grocery store. I have a damn receipt."

"Yeah…but it's still a little weird to me. Riku knows all the stuff I do about our home but I don't know if he considers it illegal here too, you know?" Sora said. Ventus shrugged.

"Whatever you want to do. The offer is there if you reconsider," he said and moved his ash tray aside before pushing himself from the bed, his portable Credit machine in hand. He went to his Home terminal and pulled a chord from behind the monitor and plugged the device in before typing away at the keyboard for a few seconds.

"Thanks," Sora said. "I can still sit and talk with you I suppose. Roxas is being grumpy."

"Yeah he is," Ventus snorted and pressed a few more buttons. He waited a moment. There was a light ' _beep_ ' before he unplugged the device. He read something on the screen before abandoning it again and going back to flop onto his bed. "I would apologize for having to work while you guys were here but I didn't exactly invite you so I feel a little weird saying that."

"Yeah… sorry," Sora said and went to sit in the available chair. Ventus shrugged.

"I lost all sense of modesty a long time ago so I don't really care about you both being around. It's my clients I was more worried about. Some of them don't want an audience, you know?"

"Y-yeah. Understandable," the brunette said and fidgeted. Ventus pulled himself across his bed so he could reach his blunt. He inhaled another thick lungful, willing his body to relax. "Can I ask you a question? Feel free to say no if I'm prying."

"Sure."

"What happened to all of the doors here?"

"I was robbed…two weeks ago?" Ventus asked, squinting at the ceiling in thought. He nodded a bit. "Yeah, two weeks. Someone came in with a sledgehammer or something equally as big and knocked them off the hinges. All of my storage areas were ripped apart and everything was thrown all over the place. They took most of the big stuff, like my furniture, but I didn't have a whole lot to begin with. Everything smaller was either food or things I use for work so it was all pretty useless to them. I keep everything of value on myself."

"Wow."

"Yeah. I don't have the available funds to replace them and I live by myself so it's not like my clients care about it. My landlord is a dick and won't spring for them either. Whatever," the older blonde said and shrugged again.

"Oh. Well that sucks. Did you ever consider moving to a better part of the city?"

"I could, but then it would eat into my savings and I need that money for other, more life saving things. Like medicine and hospital visits. I was telling Roxas that I drive a shitty car so no one will steal it and make me buy another equally as shitty car. I'm not trying to brag, but I make really decent money and I could in fact move somewhere else and get a better car and all new stuff, if I didn't have HIV and needed the money for other things."

"How much does the medicine cost?"

"Millions. It's ridiculous. I really have my doubts that your brother is willing to help me, which is why I can't ignore a paycheck just to help you guys. I can't take the chance that whatever he's planning won't pull through. Personally, I would've preferred to tell everyone 'sorry, I'm closed today' but I couldn't. I would _love_ it if I could abandon this lifestyle and be a Charge and stick around and be healthy, but I can't. I got sick way in the beginning of this career move, if that's what you can call it, and I've been walking on eggshells ever since. I've been so careful for so long I can't just drop everything and pin all my hopes on a half-assed promise made by an asshole who obviously doesn't like me."

"I would try to tell you what Roxas has up his sleeve but he and Axel won't say anything to me. I wish I could give you some sort of encouragement."

"It's fine. I don't expect anything from anyone. He probably won't tell you because you're actually nice to me. I appreciate that, by the way. The lack of judgment on your part is really refreshing."

"You're welcome. I will admit that after everything I heard tonight…it's a little more awkward," Sora said and laughed nervously. Ventus chuckled and took another hit of his Zen.

"Sorry. Like I said, I would change if I could."

"Which I can appreciate. I believe you. It doesn't seem like the most relaxing line of work."

"It really isn't. After doing it for a few years, it's more of a performance than anything else. It stopped being legitimately pleasurable for me after about six months. Since then, it's been work, work, and more work. But, I'd be hard pressed to find better money in this city and now, I need to make as much as I can as quickly as I can."

"Can…" Sora trailed and hesitated. "Can I ask how much you make?"

"Well tonight I made a little over one hundred eighty grand."

"Wh—Holy fuck."

"Yeah but you need to remember I have bills to pay. _Maybe_ half of that will make it into my savings."

"Oh. True, I forgot about that. To me, that sounds like so much because I don't really understand the currency conversion here. I can't really go back to my world and compare prices of things so it's really difficult for me."

"Well how much would an apartment of this size usually rent for where you're from?"

"See, that's the thing, I have no idea. I graduated high school and immediately went off to live in a dorm at college so I never got a place of my own to rent and stuff."

"I see."

"You could probably ask Riku though if you're really interested. He'd know more about it."

"Possibly," Ventus said and yawned widely. Sora's stomach let out a strangled grumble and he frowned. He couldn't remember when he and Roxas had had dinner. It had been a while. The older blonde finished his blunt and snuffed out the end before rubbing his eyes. "I might have to take a nap so I can be awake enough to give Axel directions."

"Why do you need to give them to Axel? Just give them to us and we can walk back when the sun comes up. It would be stupid to make him come all the way out here just to go back."

"He and Roxas insisted. I don't really understand it either. This area is fine so long as the sun is up. If you're outside you're generally safe. Then again, I did get robbed in the middle of the day when I wasn't home, but nothing ever happens to the people directly as far as I know."

"Speaking of the people, Maggie says you owe her a polish," Sora said with a light grimace.

"Maggie? What the fuck for?" Ventus growled a bit, furrowing his brows.

"I think she thought she was doing you a favor by telling us where to find you."

"Eugh…" Ventus groaned. "I'm not touching that cesspool. If you want a prime example of a diseased whore, just pick her up and see what you get afterwards."

"No thanks, I'm good," Sora said and frowned at the imagery. Ventus laughed.

"My thoughts exactly."

* * *

"Okay, he said apartment 6G," Axel said. Riku looked up at the building in front of him with a light scowl. It was a little after ten in the morning and it had taken them several hours to find Ventus' neighborhood. It wasn't the best place to be and they were both worried for their Charges. Axel pushed his beaded hair behind his ear before tugging the overly squeaky door open and heading inside. Riku followed after him quietly. The air of the building was acrid and unpleasant. They both wrinkled their noses as they browsed the wall of buzzers. Axel found the one for Ventus' and pressed it. They waited impatiently and it was a good ten minutes before the door clicked loudly and unlocked. He and Riku bounded up the stairs quickly and squinted at the dim lighting before finding the sixth door and knocking. Ventus opened it with bleary eyes and wild bed head.

"Hey," the older blonde greeted tiredly before stepping to the side and allowing them access. Axel and Riku carefully entered and Ventus closed the door behind them. He bypassed them in the narrow hallway and led them to the living area where Roxas had spread himself over the couch on his back. Sora had plopped himself on his brother's stomach and they were both sleeping soundly, the exhaustion having overwhelmed them hours ago. Axel snorted a little.

"I feel like I should take a picture," the redhead said quietly. Riku shrugged.

"I just want to leave," he said crankily and made his way to the couch to nudge Sora.

"Nice hair," Ventus said and flicked a tiny bell that hung from a piece of Axel's hair.

"Thanks. I like color a lot and this is a cheap alternative to buying a whole new wardrobe," the redhead said with a shrug. Ventus nodded.

"I know that feeling. Anyway, sorry I couldn't drag them home myself. My car is really small."

"It's fine. I appreciate you taking them in and keeping them off of the streets," Axel said. The brunette stirred enough for Riku to nudge him upright. Sora groggily blinked at his Carrier.

"Hi," he said quietly. Riku smiled.

"Time to go," he said and Sora nodded. Roxas shifted around uncomfortably, pulling his eyes open. Axel stuffed his hands in his pockets and kept his expression neutral. The younger blonde rubbed his eyes a bit and sat up to look at him. Riku pulled Sora off of the couch and crouched low to the ground. The brunette happily climbed on his back and wove his arms around Riku's chest and sellted his cheek against his shoulder.

"Did you want me to carry you?" Axel asked. Roxas shook his head and yawned.

"I'll be fine," he said tiredly and pushed himself off the couch. The redhead nodded. The group followed Ventus back to the entrance and the older blonde held the door for them as they all filed out into the hallway.

"Thanks again," Axel said to the older blonde and Ventus nodded.

"No problem," he said and closed the door quietly. Sora was asleep again in an instant and Riku focused on keeping his steps light and even so he didn't jostle his Charge around too much. They all poured out into the street and Roxas followed after the Carriers, his eyes to the sidewalk and Axel's feet. His mind was hazy and he looked at his watch to take in the time.

"How long did it take you guys to get here?" Roxas asked.

"About four hours," Axel said. The blonde groaned. "I can carry you if you want to sleep."

"I'll be fine," Roxas insisted. The redhead shrugged.

"Alright," he said. Had Riku not been there, Roxas felt he could've told Axel all sorts of things. The blonde was aching to be carried simply because he could touch the redhead again but even in his groggy state, he knew it would be awkward. He wanted to ask Axel what he could do to make things up to him again, what would make him the happiest, and what his expectations were. There were too many unanswered questions, too many suspicions, and too many raw feelings for the blonde to deal with in public. He knew if he had asked Axel to carry him and he laid his face against his back like Sora had done to Riku, that he would hear the redhead's heartbeat and he probably wouldn't be able to keep it together. A four hour silent walk wasn't exactly thrilling either, but at the very least Roxas could keep himself sane.

* * *

Axel walked Roxas back to his room and was prepared to leave and pull the door closed. The blonde's grip on the knob kept him from doing so and the redhead furrowed his brows a bit but ignored it and turned to leave and get back to work. Roxas' arm shot out and grabbed his hand.

"Don't leave," the blonde ordered. He didn't know exactly what he was doing but the pain in his chest was unbearable when he thought about leaving things unfinished between them. The entire walk home did nothing to ease his nerves and his frazzled mind but he knew he couldn't leave things like they were. Axel hesitated.

"Did you need something?" he asked blandly. Roxas gave his hand a pull.

"Come in here," he said. Axel shook his head.

"I have work I need to do. Go ahead and sleep."

"I want to talk to you though."

"About what?"

"About…everything."

"Now isn't the time. You need to catch up on your sleep and I need to catch up on our work."

"No. Do it later. I need to talk to you," Roxas said and pulled his arm again. Axel chewed on the inside of his cheek a bit in thought before letting out a little sigh and entering. Roxas' heart did a flip and he quickly closed the door behind him.

"What did you need?" the redhead asked flatly.

"I…I wanted to thank you for coming to pick me up and…" the blonde said quietly, as he racked his brain for the right words. "And…and…I'm really bad at this," he admitted and went to sit on his bed. He kicked off his shoes and folded his legs under himself and ran his fingers through his hair. Axel waited for him to continue with a blank face and even less body language. "I've been trying to think of something I could do to prove myself to you. When I wasn't working, which wasn't very much to begin with, I couldn't stop thinking about how much I've taken advantage of you and what I can do to fix it. I've come up with nothing…aside from more guilt. It's really painful and I just wanted you to know that I'm trying, despite my lack of results," Roxas sighed. He swallowed thickly.

"Okay," Axel said and turned to leave again.

"Wait. Stop. Please," the blonde sputtered. The redhead took a deep breath and turned to him again. His hair clinked together lightly with the movement and Roxas' heart suddenly felt like it was going to explode out from his chest. The flood of memories, bad memories, crashed into him. He hated himself for how awful he had been to Axel in the past and he hated it more that his old habits hadn't changed but simply shifted to the new situations as the time progressed and things changed around him. He had to stop himself from speaking to try and force the lump out of his throat. His eyes watered but he managed to keep the tears from escaping.

"I should leave before I upset you even more," Axel said.

"No. It's not you. It's me. It's always been me. I'm just…a bigoted asshole. I feel like I'm in some sort of _Romeo and Juliet_ scenario with myself. Only my mind has taken up the roles of Romeo's and Juliet's families that are trying to keep them apart. I… I want…" he trailed again as a couple tears dripped out of his eyes. "I want you so god damned much that it hurts to breathe. But I can't understand why my brain keeps making up demons to get in the way. Maybe…I have commitment issues. Maybe Sora's right and I'm transferring my unsolved issues with Leon onto you because you're readily available. Maybe…maybe I _am_ bipolar. At this point, if someone told me I was insane, I would probably believe them just so I could use that as a springboard and try to figure the rest out."

"There isn't much I can do for you outside of finding you a therapist, Roxas. I don't know what you're expecting me to do. Until you can show me that you're going to accept all of me, I have to worry about my own integrity and stay away. I can't let you drag me through the mud anymore because then we'd both be a wreck and everything we're working for would grind to a halt and I can't have that. It would put us both at risk as far as the Committee and punishments go if everything stopped. I wish I could help you more. Perhaps it's best if you left," the redhead said quietly.

"Leave? Like… leave the entire project?" Roxas asked, his eyes widening. He gaped at Axel.

"If it would save you from yourself, you might want to consider it. Did you ever think that maybe this is all too much for you? The pressure of constant work and worry about every detail is a lot to take on and maybe after everything that's happened, you're not equipped to handle it anymore. I don't want you to leave, but if it's the best decision for your well being, then it should probably happen."

"N-no! I'm not leaving!" the blonde cried and pushed himself off of the bed. "How can you even think something like that would be beneficial?"

"I'm just thinking outside the box. There are a few options we have to consider. You figure it out yourself, you find a therapist, or you leave. All of them would be to your benefit in the long run. It would be wonderful if you could figure it out yourself but you're making it sound like that's not going to happen so I don't know what else to suggest," Axel said. Roxas wiped at his face a few times and took a deep breath. He couldn't let himself get hung up on the suggestion of leaving so he took a minute regain his composure and think of something else to talk about to keep the redhead around.

"I…just…um…" he stammered. "Can I have a hug?" he ended up blurting abruptly. Axel furrowed his brows again and shook his head lightly.

"No, Roxas. I think you need to sleep."

"No. I don't want to. I want you to stay in here with me and I'm trying to think of ways to make you do that without jumping on you, damn it," the blonde huffed angrily. His anger was geared toward himself but Axel raised a questioning brow regardless. "That wasn't supposed to come out of my mouth," he amended and pushed his brows together.

"Clearly," the redhead agreed. Roxas stepped a bit closer and Axel took a step back. "Please don't try to rape me or something, it would end badly for both of us," he said flatly.

"I'm not. I just want a hug," the blonde said quietly.

"You need to sleep."

"No, I need a hug."

"I'll go find Demyx then."

"No, I want a hug from you."

"I don't want to," the redhead said meekly.

"Yes you do."

"…If I hug you, will you go to sleep?" Axel asked, blatantly ignoring the insinuation.

"Yes," Roxas said and held his arms out. The Carrier sighed and leaned forward just enough to give him a quick squeeze and back away. At least he tried to back away, but blonde clamped onto him tightly. Axel groaned.

"I knew you would do that," he said.

"Sorry," Roxas said and pressed his face into Axel's chest. That's when he had an idea. He pushed himself against the redhead so he could run his hands over his back and move them up into his hair. Axel tried to gently push him away but Roxas held steady and pretended to fiddle with the things in his hair.

"Roxas… let go," the redhead said.

"Not until I can accept all of you," Roxas said sternly and quickly moved his hand forward to Axel's ear. He clicked the metal stud found on the redhead's earlobe and a split second later his watch started to beep.

  _Change code initiated._

"Rox…as…" Axel choked as his body lurched forward, pushing the blonde back. His hands gripped his chest and Roxas gave him a weak smile before pulling the redhead's t-shirt upwards. Axel tried to swallow back the uncomfortable sensation of his ribcage pushing outward. He forced himself to let Roxas pull his shirt off. Axel's breathing sped up and he squeezed his eyes shut as he fell forward onto all fours. Roxas moved behind him and wrapped his arms around the redhead's midsection to reach the front of his shorts. Axel's skin rippled under his fumbling fingers but he managed to unfasten the button and pull down the zipper. He yanked the clothing down the Carrier's thighs as the bones underneath began to pop and shift. Once everything was out of the way, Roxas moved to Axel's front and sat so close he was nearly underneath him.

Throughout the entire process, the blonde forced himself to watch and connect the two forms in his mind. It had occurred to him that the only other time he actually witnessed the change take place was at the convention. All of the other times, in the past, Axel had politely gone behind something to change and came out in his Primal form. Roxas hoped that rectifying the disconnection there was a key part to helping himself accept the redhead completely. His mind needed to see everything to believe everything. It was his logical nature, he understood. So there he sat, and watched his lover change his entire form into the thing he was unsure about; a cascade of beads rolling out of his hair and down his shoulders. Axel's skin peeled off his face and fell in front of him, revealing the thin layer of fur underneath. Their faces were barely an inch apart and Roxas waited until the popping and cracking stopped to lock eyes with the Carrier. The tiger's coat gave one last shimmer as the shifting colors cemented themselves in place. Roxas reached up and ran his fingers through the large tufts of fur on either side of the cat's face, registering with himself that everything was okay. He would have to vacuum his room later, but it was okay. He moved a hand forward to touch Axel's nose and make sure it was dry before planting a light kiss on it.

"I love you Axel," he said and smiled a bit. "I'd love to hear your reaction but I left my earpiece in the lab." He backed away some to give the cat space. Axel straightened out and shook himself to jostle the rest of the pieces of skin free and fling them to the ground. The blonde pushed himself backwards to sit on the edge of his bed. Axel followed and hauled himself up onto the mattress. The bed frame groaned under his weight but he ignored it and slowly lowered himself across the comforter, taking up most of the space. He settled in and laid his enormous face between his paws. Roxas watched him get comfortable. "Nap time?" he asked and Axel rolled onto his side to demonstrate the point. The blonde chewed on his lip a little, wishing he had his earpiece but he got the idea and pulled down his blankets and slid under them. He lay against his pillows, watching Axel's chest carefully as he breathed. Sleep slammed into Roxas and nagged him for a good ten minutes, pulling the blonde's attention back to the fact that he had a horrible night. He pushed it away as much as he could so he could continue to watch his Carrier be at peace longer but he was eventually dragged under, much to his distaste.

* * *

Roxas awoke to a weight against his back, an arm wrapped around his chest and the back of his head nestled underneath a chin. At some point he had not only rolled over, Axel had changed back, and they ended up together again, but he realized how much better he felt. He looked at his watch and discovered it was after dinner and his eyes widened. Roxas rubbed his eye and slowly shifted himself around. He went to wrap an arm around Axel's waist and realized the redhead wasn't under the covers with him. The movement was enough to tug the Carrier out of his light doze though and he moved back enough to see the blonde's face. Roxas blinked up at him and smiled some. Axel smiled back.

"You probably shouldn't go without sleep for over twenty-four hours very often. If you tempt me into watching you sleep for five hours every time it happens, we may never make any progress ever again," the redhead said and ran his fingers through the blonde's hair. Roxas let out a sigh and closed his eyes again.

"Does this mean you forgive me for being an asshole?" he asked quietly.

"Well, I must admit you practically forcing me to change pissed me off but once you kissed my nose, I was smitten. Are you alright though? Is this okay?" Axel asked. Roxas nodded and reached up and took his hand out of his hair and rubbed his thumb over the backs of the redhead's fingers.

"I feel awful for hurting you. We were only apart for four days but I feel like it was years. I hated how I felt the entire time. How can I make it up to you?" the blonde asked, looking up at Axel through pieces of his hair. The redhead shrugged.

"I have no fucking idea, honestly. I just like being able to touch you."

"Oh. Okay," Roxas said and opened up the redhead's hand and pressed it to his face. Axel chuckled. He pulled his hand away so he could push the covers out from under himself enough to get under them. Roxas immediately pressed their bodies together and buried his face in the redhead's chest. Axel smiled and wrapped his arms around the blonde tightly. "Umm…" Roxas trailed.

"Hmm?" the redhead answered.

"I know that I'm okay with you and everything now, but I scared myself with how easily I fell apart and pushed you away in the first place. I…think I should see someone and get some help. I still haven't really dealt with my issues with Leon and I think that's the cause, like Sora said. So…yeah. Let's find someone," he said quietly. Axel gave him a light squeeze and kissed his hair.

"Okay. I think that's a good idea," he agreed and rubbed Roxas' back. The blonde let out a contented sigh.

"When did you change back?"

"About fifteen minutes ago."

"Oh…I'm surprised you didn't as soon as I feel asleep."

"Yeah well…I fell asleep too," Axel said and chuckled. "I haven't been getting adequate rest either."

"I'm sorry. Again. For everything," the blonde said and weaved his arms around the redhead's chest and clung to him. "If I ever act like that again towards you…just smack me. I never want to push you to the point of leaving me ever again. It hurt too much."

"I'm glad I wasn't the only one then."

"I feel like an idiot," Roxas sighed. Axel smiled and took the blonde's face in between his palms and locked eyes with him.

"But you're _my_ idiot, so it's okay," he said and smiled. Roxas huffed.

" _Wonderful_ ," he pouted. Axel's smile spread into a grin.

"Well regardless of how you feel, I'm quite pleased," he said and gave the blonde a light kiss. Once he pulled away, Roxas pushed forward again for another one. Axel chuckled.

"What?" Roxas asked, furrowing his brows. "I missed you."

"I'm glad to hear it. I love you too, by the way. From…several hours ago. I never stopped loving you but I needed confirmation on your part since you were confusing the hell out of me. I'm sorry I hurt you, but like I said, I needed to start thinking about myself."

"…I know," the blonde said flatly. Axel frowned a little at his tone but kissed him again anyway. Roxas pushed into the kiss readily, the feeling of the redhead's lips against his igniting tiny campfires under his skin. The Carrier's hand on his face kept him from deepening things further and he pulled away, a bit concerned. "What's wrong? Are…are you still angry?" Roxas asked hesitantly.

"Truthfully? A little bit. Well, not so much angry, but cautious. Besides, if we jump in to all things hot and heavy, you might fall asleep on me again afterwards and I'll have to wait forever for you to wake up again so we can begin the test."

"…Test?"

"Ansem sent us the dose of Xemnas' drug, remember? I got it yesterday while you and Sora were out. I can't have you tire out now. There's work to do," the redhead said and gave him a small smile. Roxas blinked a few times as the situation digested.

"Oh. Well when did you want to do that?"

"I don't know. We have two weeks to do it and I'm trying to keep my excitement at bay long enough for us to readjust to each other and get back on track, you know?"

"You're excited?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I want to have sex with you for eight hours? What's more, the probability of our Carriers maturing faster because of it just adds to it all."

"Oh," Roxas said again and chewed his lip. "I'll let you decide when you want to do it then. Just let me know."

"Oh. I will," Axel said and grinned.


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56**

Roxas was attempting to study again. Granted, he was mostly studying Axel's butt, but it was still studying. The redhead had distracted him from his academic studies when he had bent over to dig around in the other large box that contained the Blank they were going to use for their Carrier. The other Blank, the football, had long since served its purpose and was bashed up pretty good. Axel felt he could use it still for demonstration purposes so it was sitting off to the side but he needed both for accuracy. So there he was, flinging packing peanuts and stuffing in all directions with his back end in the air and tempting Roxas' eyes away from the things he should _really_ be doing.

"Sometimes I wonder why they even bother sending the damn things in such a huge box—Ah!" Axel exclaimed as he found his treasure. He pulled up the prize, a faceless, featureless, smooth–as-a-bowling-ball female Blank. About the only discernable thing about it was the fact that it had a vagina, butt crack, and a navel. The football was a male.

"Even if they did send it in a huge box, that doesn't mean you can fling all the shit inside everywhere," Roxas said blandly, pointing to the mess on the floor. Axel raised a brow and looked down at his feet.

"Oops. Well whatever. It's fixable. I'll do it later," he said and crossed the short distance to the exam table. Roxas had his arms crossed over his book and his chin resting on them, so when Axel plopped the Blank down in front of him in a spread eagle position, he was presented with an infantile vagina and he stared at it blankly for a minute. "It's a girl," the redhead added.

"I'm aware of that, yes. Painfully so now. I'm actually quite curious as to why the Technicians bothered to make it anatomically accurate, I mean, it has a hymen. Does virginity _really_ matter all that much?" the blonde asked and sat up properly and closed his book.

"You need to remember that most of the things Carriers have, have them for their Charge. The fact that I have a belly button and nipples is so that when I take off my shirt in front of you it doesn't freak you out. I have no use for them otherwise. For all we know, her future Charge might give a damn about her being pure like that, you know?"

"I suppose," Roxas agreed and set his book aside. "So where do we begin?"

"Not with this one," Axel said and pushed the female Blank aside and took up the male. He held the prosthesis by its chest and its waist before bringing his knee up and cracking its back harshly over it. There was a resounding ' _crack_ ' and he wiggled it a bit before repeating the motion, further breaking it apart. Roxas scowled a bit as the redhead twisted the body harshly; all of its fractured inner bits grinding together. After a good ten minutes of manipulation, he was able to pull the Blank into two halves, exposing the insides.

"God damn," the blonde said.

"I know. These things are resilient," Axel chuckled and set one of the halves down. Roxas tilted his head to the side to see inside and he was presented with what looked like the inside of a Jawbreaker except it was hollow and baby shaped. Around the outsides of the body itself, was a rainbow of colors in layers with a liquid middle layer that oozed out from where it was broken. Roxas couldn't tell how many layers were there exactly just by looking at it but it wasn't very thick. Axel turned the half he had in his hands, the bottom half that included the legs, so Roxas could see. He leaned his elbows on the exam table and brought his face close to the blonde's with the half quick to follow.

"Okay, so that's the layer of lubricant, that much is obvious," Roxas said and poked a fingertip into a drip of the goo and rubbed the substance between his finger and his thumb. Axel nodded.

"Yep, the layer underneath that is what fuses to the bones, and the layer above that is what makes hair. If I was to strip all of the top layer and the skin and the lubricant away, I would be presented with basically a 3D shell that has a diagram of a skeleton on it. All along the spine, there are a series of…well… let me show you," Axel said and set the Blank half down and squashed a finger into the layer of lubricant and wiggled his digit up underneath the top layer. Breaking through the top layer and the skin was much easier and he pulled upwards, snapping the materials apart so he could open them like a book. He brushed the layer of lubricant aside and Roxas could see faint outlines of a skeleton, with the addition of what looked to be millions of dots along the spinal path.

"Huh…" the blonde trailed, running a finger over the dots.

"Those are Link pathways," Axel said and let Roxas fiddle with the Blank so he could go to retrieve the additional little box that came with the Blanks in the mail. He pulled the box open and produced a long blue fibrous…thing. Roxas didn't know what to think of it, but it almost looked like a horse's tail with several bands along its length to hold the strands of blue together. They were all very thin strings, the ends of which were gold. "This is a Link," the redhead said and Roxas' eyes widened.

"Wait…it's not already inside the Blank somehow?" the blonde asked. Axel shook his head.

"No, once inside the body, Links are Totem and Carrier specific. Outside the body though, they're all the same. We have to manually attach the Link to the Blank and set up the access point, the part we plug into when we need to use the Catalogue or something. Once the Link is attached, and the Totem DNA is introduced, we can check and make sure we did it all right."

"So wait," Roxas said and picked up the end of the Link and closely examined the ends of the fibers. "Each one of these tiny chord things, is going to attach to a dot along the spine?"

"Right, then after that, we attach the access point, change code sensor, and the Signet receptor which is that thing that lets me know what's wrong with you in my head. I like to call it my 'Roxas antenna' but there really isn't a specific name for it outside of 'receptor.'"

"So how do we know which chord goes where?" Roxas asked, the entire process suddenly becoming far more daunting for him.

"The Technicians gave us a general map to follow, but it's not like we're going to be welding a motherboard for a computer together. The Blank and the Link go into that machine back there," Axel said and pointed to the back corner of the lab. Next to their Diagnostic Care Center, were two more machines, both of which had been collecting dust before this point. Roxas had studied how to use them, and he was vaguely familiar but the prospect of using something that was essentially completely new, was a little terrifying. "Once they're both in there, the computer attaches to them and picks up the receptors in the chords and the dots and tells us what they are. _Then_ we have to go about making a unique Link map that would equate to our Carrier's fingerprint. Everything the computer tells us is a general idea of where things are to go. Like it's saying 'this cluster of dots controls this, so I need the chords that do those things to go there,' but it lets us do it how we please otherwise. In addition to genetic diversity, we need to have the Link diversity, otherwise, we'd have a bunch of Totem clones and the natural offspring will have genetic defects because of it.

Way back in the beginning when you were asking me how Carriers worked, I mentioned that every time a new Carrier is made, the Totem DNA changes a tiny bit to give it diversity. That diversity comes from when we attach the Link to the Blank. Once we introduce the Totem DNA to the Blank, the Link is officially active and it begins functioning like it normally would. The Link itself grows with the Carrier and adapts to their changes and keeps the equilibrium between the Totem and the Implant, like you know already. You can almost think of it like a second spinal chord. It generates the genetic information needed to create the Totem blood stream and vessels, Totem reproduction cells and organs, and the things needed to keep the body in once piece when we change. It's all preprogrammed in the Link itself but creating a unique footprint is what starts it all."

"That's…" Roxas trailed with a dreamy glint in his eye.

"Amazing?" Axel asked with a smile.

"Yeah. How does the Link get inside though? Does the machine cut the Blanks open and stuff?"

"Yes. What I did to rip open the male one wasn't too far off from what the machine does but it does it much more cleanly and with way more precision. Once the first machine attaches the Link correctly and it seals it up again, we can actually see the incision when we take it out of the machine and move it to the next step. By the time the Carrier is a year old though, the incision is gone."

"And the name of the machine that does all that is the Link Distribution Center, right?"

"Right. The second machine introduces the Totem DNA, tests the Link stability, prints a model number, assigns the Carrier a change code and syncs a Signet sensor set and stuffs the sensor itself under the Blank's tongue."

"Bastard, you mean to tell me I got a giant needle in the mouth for my Signet and you weren't even alive to feel yours?"

"Yep," Axel said and chuckled. "The second machine is called the Totem Terminal since that's its main function."

"Yeah I knew that part but I'm still miffed you didn't get to go through the same torture as I did," Roxas huffed.

"Well you better get over it because I'm not about to let you stab me like that. You had your chance."

"I should make you get your tongue pierced, just to give you an idea."

"Make me, huh?"

"Yeah," the blonde said defiantly and puffed up his chest a bit in mock intimidation. Axel snorted before starting to laugh at his display. Roxas joined him. It took them a few minutes to calm down again. "So when did you want to start this?"

"That's a good question, actually. Part of me doesn't want to start it today but the rest of me wants to. I'm not sure what part to listen to," Axel said.

"Well what would we do if we weren't doing this?"

"Either more work or testing Ansem's drug," the redhead shrugged. Roxas raised a brow.

"And you make it sound like you have a choice now. If given the option between hours and hours of sex that can be counted as 'work' or actual boring work, which do you think I'm going to go for?" the blonde asked. Axel made an exaggerated thinking face before dramatically draping himself over the exam table.

"But Roxas I don't know if I'm _ready_ for it yet," he sighed with a pout.

"Good. More fun for me, where'd you put it?"

"…You do realize that was totally not cool."

"I do, actually."

"Just checking. In reality I could just lock you out of my room and inject myself and just jerk off for a few hours. I don't _need_ you," the redhead huffed defiantly. Roxas gave him a blank stare.

"And when Demyx comes bursting in, don't blame me when you have to replace your door," the blonde said.

"Good point. He'd probably be more than willing to kick it in for you. I'm serious when I say I'm not so sure I'm ready for it though."

"…Oh. Really?"

"Yeah, I'm a little apprehensive."

"Why?" Roxas asked and leaned against the table next to him and combed his fingers through the redhead's hair lightly. Axel closed his eyes and shrugged.

"I don't know. I want to believe that Ansem knows what he's doing, but I'm scared something could go wrong and I'd end up hurting you. I would prefer it if I knew who else was trying it and could wait and see how they do."

"I can ask Sora and Riku for you if you want. I'm pretty sure they're going to use it."

"Nah, you don't have to ask them. That's a little awkward."

"Yeah, but if it'll make you feel better…"

"I'll be fine," Axel reassured.

"Just let me know when you feel okay to start. Until then I guess we should get some legitimate work done."

"Legitimate?"

"Well I don't consider testing the drug to be work. It's not exactly the same as doing things on our own but I equate work to tedious drudgery and sex is not quite on that level."

"Ah. I see. Very scientific."

"Well it's true."

"I agree," Axel said and reached his arms forward and hooked them around the blonde's waist. He pulled Roxas a bit closer and slid his torso across the tabletop more and hugged the blonde's side to his face.

"You know I could just walk around the table and give you hug that way."

"This was readily available. Call me an opportunist," the redhead said and nuzzled his face into Roxas' shirt. "Thank you for being patient with me."

"Yes well, I'm not being completely patient."

"Oh? How so?"

"I still want…you know…you and…stuff," the blonde trailed, his cheeks pinkening a bit. Axel chuckled.

"I suppose I've neglected you, haven't I?"

"It's not all your fault but yeah I can agree with that."

"The last time was…what? Your birthday?"

"…Yeah."

"Poor Roxas has been starved of my attention for almost three weeks. Oh no!"

"Alright, you don't need to poke fun at me now."

"Of course I do. Especially since I'm going to decline the invitation," Axel said matter-of-factly and rubbed his stomach a few times before releasing him and pushing himself up off the exam table. Roxas turned to him with furrowed brows.

"That's just mean."

"I like to call it 'dramatic tension,'" the redhead said and gave him a sage nod.

"Where I come from 'dramatic tension' is apparently the same as 'cock blocking.'"

"Tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to."

"Is this a refusal because I've done something else wrong or are you just being a jerk?"

"What you call being a jerk, I call being a tease," Axel said and gave him a polite smile.

"If there wasn't a table in my way, I'd probably punch you."

"Yet you were so willing to come _around_ the table just two seconds ago."

"Oh so you want to play the asshole game now? Okay, I can do that," Roxas said and gave him a devious grin.

"Don't get too violent now, I'm faster than you and can get away don't forget."

"You can do a _lot_ of things faster than I can, sometimes without meaning to, isn't that right?" the blonde said.

"…Oh it's on now, creampuff," Axel said and gave him a light glare. Roxas sent him one back.

"You say that like it's supposed to intimidate me."

"Whether it does or not is none of my concern, but I _will_ break you. Believe me."

"Break me how, exactly?"

"I'm going to hold out on you until we test the drug. If you masturbate before then, I win," Axel said simply and crossed his arms over his chest. Roxas pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes as he mulled the challenge over.

"Alright fine. But the same goes for you. Just remember our time limit, we can't exceed two weeks of this," the blonde said.

"Right, I know. Everything is prepared in my room for it but I'm not going down that easily."

* * *

Demyx was horribly confused. He was sitting quietly across from Axel and Roxas at the lunch table, eating peacefully. From the look on Sora's face, he was as equally as confused. Axel looked far too happy with himself, but Roxas looked to be about to have an aneurism. The sandy blonde slowed his chewing to more of a thoughtful move and watched the two across from him curiously. Axel and Roxas each had a hand under the table and Demyx was under the impression they were doing what he and Zexion were doing which was simply holding hands. Apparently not, because the blonde's face got redder and redder the longer he sat there and Axel's grin got wider and more demonic. The sandy blonde was extremely tempted to stoop under the table and see what they were doing but he resisted. It was almost more fun just to guess.

"Don't kill him, now," Demyx said cheerfully, casting a smile to his redheaded friend.

"He might think I am, but I'm not. All he has to do is say 'okay Axel, I give in' and it'll stop," Axel said and laughed a bit.

"Okay Axel…" Roxas started. Axel's grin nearly split his face in two.

"Okay what, Roxas?" he asked gently.

"Time to fuck off and let me eat," the blonde finished. Axel barked out a laugh and brought both his hands up in the air above the table with a smile. Roxas let out a breath before glowering at him. "You're awful, you know that?"

"Now I know why the bad guys in movies do what they do. It's fucking _fun_ to terrorize people," Axel chuckled and started eating. Roxas sighed and followed his motion. Sora furrowed his brows a bit and looked between them a few times.

"What's going on?" the brunette asked. He looked to Demyx, who shrugged.

"They're obviously having some sort of competition or game or something," the sandy blonde offered.

"Don't worry about it," Roxas said around a mouthful of sandwich.

"Well whatever it is, I wouldn't stand up any time soon," Cloud interjected from further down the table. Aside from Axel, he was the only one sitting on the same side as Roxas and he could see everything. Leon raised a brow from across from him.

"Tell me about it," the smaller blonde Charge agreed. Cloud chuckled.

"…Why?" Sora asked.

"Axel broke my foot and I don't want to hurt it any more," Roxas said bluntly. The brunette gaped at him and looked to Axel, who started to laugh again and nearly choked on his food in the process. Riku sighed and rubbed his brows.

"Really?" Sora asked stupidly. Roxas held his face in one hand.

"Yes Sora, I'm writhing in pain as we speak."

"Don't encourage him, please," Riku said, sending the blonde a light glare. Roxas smiled and shook his head.

"It's his own fault for being so gullible."

"Hey now, I'm right here," the brunette said with a huff. Suddenly, Leon slammed his fist on the table, startling everyone present. Cloud had taken to lounging back in his seat and Roxas could see that he had removed one of his shoes. The russet Carrier cleared his throat and sent his Charge a malicious glare.

"Get your foot off my dick unless you want a fork stuck in between your toes," Leon threatened, glowering at Cloud. The taller blonde gave him a smile.

"I was just trying to see what all the fuss was about; I'm totally bored with this actually. I don't see the appeal."

"Then stop," Leon growled. Roxas scooted a bit closer to Axel and forced himself to start eating again so the sound of chewing and looking at his plate could distract him from Leon's expression. The redhead looked down at the blonde and furrowed his brows together lightly before rubbing his back. Zexion looked between Roxas and the pair further down the table.

"Get a room, guys," the steely-haired Charge warned with a stern tone. Cloud raised a brow and looked to him. Zexion was watching Roxas and the taller blonde followed his line of sight. He sighed and rolled his eyes before pulling his leg back, but not before he kicked Leon in the shin.

"Stop being angry," Cloud ordered and leaned his head in Roxas' direction. Leon looked to the smaller blonde. He sighed a bit and waved his fork threateningly at Cloud a bit more before resuming his meal. The taller blonde leaned down to pull on his shoe again. Axel leaned down and gave Roxas a kiss on his temple before rubbing his back with one hand while the other picked up a cube of beef. Sora itched his scalp.

"I missed it again, didn't I?" the brunette asked, looking around at all the faces at the table. Leon cast Riku a sarcastic 'seriously?' look and the snowy Carrier sighed a little and pat Sora's hair.

"It's okay, I didn't get it either," Riku lied.

* * *

"Name?" Roxas ordered, holding Xemnas' tablet up and waiting for a reply.

"V-E-N-T-U-S space A-M-A-R-A-N-T," Ventus said pleasantly with a smile. It was two days later and Roxas had called Ventus to begin getting all of his personal information together to send to Ansem for his proposal. The older blonde, thankfully, wasn't working that day and was more than happy to take the call. He leaned back in his chair in his room, watching Axel mill about in the background of Roxas' screen. The younger blonde typed away at the template he had found for new Charge information.

"Date of birth?" Roxas asked.

"August twelfth, two-thousand forty-six."

"…Blood type?" Roxas asked, tempted to type in 'diseased.'

"AB+."

"Home plane?"

"Um, I was born in Dome 536 but I live here now. But that isn't really a 'plane.' I'm not even sure what the Technicians call this place."

"Just write in 'Centric Plane,'" Axel called over his shoulder. "The Technicians call this place, the 'Center' or 'Home' more often than not. It doesn't really matter because once you put in 'Dome' they're going to know you mean here."

"Alright," Roxas said and poked away at the tablet. He continued reading the prompts and furrowed his brows. "There's a lot of terminology I don't know here. I'm assuming these words pertain to the other dimensions and things."

"Probably, I wouldn't doubt it. Just skip all that. Ventus is from here so they don't even need to know all the extra details about the world itself, they already know it," the redhead said. Roxas nodded some and continued. He picked the next prompt he could understand and started to laugh. Ventus raised a questioning brow at him.

"What?" the older blonde asked. Roxas continued laughing for a few more minutes.

"They want…" he tried to say but he had to stop to clear his giggles out again. "They want your employment history."

"And what's so funny about that?" Ventus asked with a light glare.

"Because I have a hard time imagining you having a legitimate job."

"I did at one point, I'll have you know."

"Oh yeah? Do tell," Roxas said, snickering a bit with his stylus at the ready.

"You'll laugh."

"I probably will. But I need to know, anyway."

"Well…" Ventus trailed giving the younger blonde a suspicious gaze. "Before I moved here, which was almost four years ago, I had a job at the library in Dome 536. I was there for almost five years. I sat around and read books all day when I wasn't putting them on the shelves," he said. Roxas' cheeks puffed out as they filled with sudden laughter. He snorted loudly before letting the buildup of air sputter out from between his lips as he broke into laughter again. Ventus glared at him.

"Now now, Roxas," Axel chided though he purposefully kept his back to the terminal to hide his smile.

"So judgmental," Ventus sighed. He waited patiently for Roxas to stop laughing at him which wasn't until he had typed in all the information and moved onto the next prompt.

"Oh god they want your lineage," the younger blonde sighed. Ventus raised a brow.

"How _much_ lineage?"

"Great-great-grandparents to present," Roxas said.

"Skip it, if they care that much about it, they can go back and check," Axel said and waved a dismissive hand.

"Seriously, I only know up to my grandparents," Ventus huffed.

"I don't even know why that would matter to them," Roxas said and scanned the next few prompts. "There're a lot of questions about the plane you live on, like environmental hazards, atmosphere conditions, and soil quality. It almost sounds like they're planning an invasion and want to know if the new planet is stable for their alien life forms or something," he snorted. "Here's a good one, shoe size?"

"Why the fuck do they need to know my shoe size?" Ventus asked with furrowed brows. Roxas shrugged. "I wear a ten. Is that some strange indirect way of asking me about my dick size or how healthy my balls are? You'd think they'd be more concerned about that than anything else. Isn't the whole thing centered on my ability to produce sperm?"

"You'd think it would matter more, I agree. I'm sure we'll get there, this list is enormous," Roxas said. Ventus sighed. "Let me scroll past all this boring crap about the worlds and your family," the younger blonde continued and pushed the list up, revealing more information. He rolled his eyes when he had to bypass over forty questions. "Alright. Health questions. This sounds fun," Roxas said.

" _Great_ ," Ventus drawled.

"Any genetic disorders or long term hereditary diseases?"

"Skin cancer runs in my family, two of my uncles on my mom's side died of heart attacks, and…" the older blonde trailed, pursing his lips and thinking. "I think that's it. Nothing too bad."

"Any long term illnesses on your part aside from the HIV?" Roxas asked, poking away at the tablet.

"Nothing to my knowledge."

"Do you drink?"

"Seldom."

"Smoke?"

"Tobacco or recreational?"

"Anything."

"Just recreational herbs."

"Right," Roxas said and shook his head a bit. Ventus ignored him. "Hard drugs? Hallucinogens, downers, uppers?"

"Nope. I've been known to try out some sex drugs though."

"…Oh goody. Just what I need to talk about. It doesn't ask about those so let's just drop it."

"Okay," Ventus said and smiled.

"How many piercings do you have? And—damn it I don't want to know this shit," Roxas huffed and glared at the tablet. "It wants to know where they are too."

"That's a kinky template."

"Just answer the question."

"Six in each ear, so that's twelve. One in each nipple so that's fourteen. My septum and my eyebrow, so that's sixteen. Three more on my dick, so that's nineteen. And three on my scrotum. So twenty-two total."

"Good lord," Axel snorted.

"Seriously," Roxas agreed and scowled.

"What?" Ventus asked innocently.

"I'm surprised you don't have one in your tongue," the younger blonde said while he typed it all in. He had to extend the answer box so he could fit everything.

"I tried but it got infected so I had to take it out. Been kind of scared to get another one," the older blonde said.

"I have to ask, do you jingle when you pee?" Axel asked over his shoulder with a doofy smile.

"…I suppose some of them would if I listened close enough, but I don't hear it," Ventus laughed. Roxas ran a hand over his face.

"Alright, that's enough. Don't need any more information than that," he huffed. Axel snickered and went back to his work. "I know you have tattoos on your back and arms, anywhere else?"

"Nope. Why do they need this stuff?"

"To make sure your Carrier has the right person when they go to find you. Also it gauges your lifestyle and what the Carrier needs to do in order to blend in and make contact," Axel said.

"Or, you can do like Axel did and look to be the complete opposite of the kind of person I would normally hang out with and freak the hell out of me," Roxas added. Axel shrugged.

"It got your attention, that's all I care about."

"So you say, but I think you liked it."

"I can't lie. I did enjoy it. It was a nice change."

"What kind of Carrier do you think I would get if I'm allowed in?" Ventus asked. Roxas shrugged. He hadn't given the older blonde the specifics outside of 'I'm going to see if I can get Ansem to allow you to be a Charge so I need you to answer some questions.'

"Hopefully one that has overbearing parents that you'll have to work your ass off to impress," the younger blonde said blandly. Ventus raised a brow at him.

"Why do you say th—"

"Next question. Oh wow…" Roxas trailed. "Do you even know how many sexual partners you've had?"

"…Not total, no. I had a lot of girlfriends even before I moved here and chose this way of life so I can't give you an exact number."

"More than fifty?"

"…More like probably over two hundred. Working the streets before you build a steady clientele will do that."

"That's… different," Roxas said and furrowed his brows a bit, resisting his urge to add in a snide comment.

"It's not something I'm proud of," Ventus said and averted his eyes from the screen for a few seconds.

"Well that's comforting."

"Yeah well… if these questions keep busting my balls so much I might have to cut you off for the day. My ego is sort of dead."

"I don't think they get much worse. How many needles have you been in contact with outside of a medical facility?"

"Um…zillions? I don't know. Getting tattoos require lots of needles."

"I think it means syringes and hypodermics."

"Probably four? Five? I don't really remember."

"I'll just put down four," Roxas said and stabbed at the tablet. "This template is stupid. I don't think I want to ask anything else of you. A good part of it is your appearance, which I can do by myself and the world you live in. The other stuff we've gone over mostly. Oh wait. Here's one. Are you allergic to anything? Allergens and medication included."

"Nothing to my knowledge, but I've never been tested for it all so I could be."

"Alright. I think we can end it here for today. I'll start talking to Ansem for you and see what I can come up with. With any luck, he'll listen for more than twenty seconds and give me a minute to explain my reasoning. If I need anything else, I'll call back," Roxas said and tossed the tablet aside and ran a hand over his face.

"Okay. Talk to you later then," Ventus said and ended their transmission. Roxas let out an exasperated groan.

"Oh. My. God. That guy is so nasty," he sighed and slouched in his seat.

"Yes well, everything you think is gross on him is probably rectifiable given enough time," Axel said and abandoned his work at the Extractor to go over to his Charge.

"He has six piercings on his genitals alone. It makes my skin crawl," the blonde said and looked up at the redhead.

"Aw, I was thinking of getting one."

"…Please tell me you're joking."

"Roxas, even if I wanted one, it would fall out once I try to change with it in."

"True. I forgot," he said and squinted a bit as his mind flooded with strange pictures. Axel raised a brow.

"Something wrong?"

"I just had the mental image of a tiger with a Prince Albert."

"…That's just wrong," Axel grimaced.

"Yeah I know," Roxas agreed and sighed, rubbing his eyes between his thumb and index finger.

"What time is it?" the redhead asked. The blonde looked at his watch.

"A little after ten."

"Bedtime," Axel said and yawned a bit as if his body had conveniently forgotten about sleep until that point. He stretched his arms over his head and popped his back satisfyingly. He stooped down and draped his upper body over the blonde's lap in the chair. Roxas raised a brow. "Carry me," the Carrier sighed dramatically.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I can't lift you," Roxas snorted and combed his fingers through the ends of Axel's hair.

"Well go lift some weights and come back and get me when you're strong enough."

"Wonderful plan. Tell me how weeks of starvation feels when I get back, will you?"

"M'kay," the redhead sighed and closed his eyes. His body relaxed with the gentle ministration against his scalp and he let himself hang off of Roxas' lap limply.

"My legs are starting to fall asleep, Axel," the blonde said.

"Good. The stupid brats were too loud and were keeping me up. Maybe now _I_ can get some sleep," the redhead said. Roxas pulled his fingers from his hair and patted his head. Axel heaved a tired sigh and pushed himself up, allowing the blonde to stand. Roxas took up Xemnas' tablet and offered a hand to Axel. The redhead took it and the blonde helped pull him to his feet. Roxas headed off towards the doors and Axel hung back a few feet. Once they were out into the hall, the redhead draped himself on top of the blonde's shoulders, and leaned on him.

"Why so clingy?" Roxas questioned flatly as he tried to keep walking. Axel waddled after him awkwardly, attempting to keep most of his weight against his Charge.

"Because I can, that's why," the redhead said. They rounded the corner and headed towards Roxas' room. Demyx and Zexion were heading in the other direction towards Demyx's room and the sandy blonde raised a brow at the redhead.

"What the hell are you doing?" Demyx asked, watching Axel's disjointed excuse of a walk.

"The backstroke," Axel said sarcastically and waved a dismissive hand. Roxas chuckled. Demyx watched them leave and looked to Zexion. The Charge raised a brow at him.

"Don't even think about it," he warned. Demyx grinned.

* * *

Axel emerged from the shower and into Roxas' room, rubbing his hair with a towel. The blonde was being boring again and working on filling in as much of Ventus' Charge template as he could. The redhead tossed the towel aside and crouched low to the ground. He made his way to the bed quietly and lifted the bottom of the comforter and eased himself between the covers. Roxas didn't pay him much attention until he felt a hand on his foot. The blonde blinked a few times, his stylus frozen in confusion. Axel rubbed the foot between his fingers a bit, using the tips to knead into the soles. Roxas flexed his toes to tell him that he noticed. The redhead chuckled lowly and pushed the foot up so he could have better access to the bottom. Roxas set the tablet aside and furrowed his brows.

Most of Axel's lower body was still hanging out of the bottom of the bed and it wasn't what the blonde was expecting when he decided to pay attention. He half expected Axel to either tickle his foot, or continue rubbing it but he didn't. Roxas let out a surprised gasp when he felt the Carrier's tongue wrap around his second toe. Axel chuckled at the sound, which was much more than he could've hoped for. He was extremely happy that Roxas was a clean individual otherwise the action would've been a bit disgusting. He held the twitching appendage in place and kneaded the sole with his thumbs firmly as his tongue slid in between each tiny digit in turn.

"That feels really weird," Roxas said huskily. He couldn't deny that it felt good, but the sensations were new to him and he felt a bit unnerved that he wanted Axel to continue. The redhead chuckled against his skin. He continued for a few minutes before hauling himself further up the bed in between the blonde's legs. Roxas lifted the blanket some just as Axel emerged from below and pushed himself up sit with his legs folded under him. "What about the other one?" the blonde asked. The redhead shrugged.

"What _about_ the other one?" he asked. Roxas narrowed his eyes at him and Axel grinned before running his hands over the blonde's naked thighs. Roxas' glare grew colder. "All you have to do is say 'okay Axel, I give in.'"

"No way," the blonde huffed. Axel smiled.

"So tough. Had I known you had a burgeoning foot fetish though I would've done that weeks ago," he teased. Roxas looked down to his own half hardened member and scoffed at it.

"Pay him no heed. He's a traitor," he said and glared at it. Axel laughed. Roxas pushed himself up a bit and shoved the redhead out from between his legs. The Carrier batted at him playfully and they smacked at each other for a minute. The blonde landed one good whack and Axel cried out dramatically before throwing himself to the side.

"Oh no! I am defeated!" he squealed and sprawled out all over the bed. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"To the victor go the spoils then," the blonde said and grabbed a mass of blankets and wrenched them upwards, pulling them out from under the redhead and piling them up on his side of the bed. He wrapped the copious amounts of fabric around himself protectively so the Carrier couldn't get his devious hands on him anymore and lay back against the pillows.

"Aw. It's like a Roxas burrito," Axel cooed with a snicker. In response, the blonde huffed and turned up his nose.

"Whatever you say. At least this way you can't cheat and try to get me to jump you anymore."

"You saw through my plan. How cunning," the redhead said and rearranged himself on the bed properly. He snaked his arms around the entire mass that was his Charge and pulled the blonde to him. He kissed Roxas' hair before settling against the pillows comfortably. "Just don't forget that I'm a light sleeper and it's going to get _really_ hot under all those blankets eventually," he warned. Roxas' face blanked with the realization.

"…Damn it."


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57**

"Roxas."

"Yes, Axel?"

"…I need to walk."

"No you don't. I'm good with this."

"But I need to walk," Axel repeated and tried to shuffle one of his legs forward, only to be blocked by the blonde that had clamped onto it. Roxas was using his foot as a seat while he wrapped his limbs around the redhead' leg like a pole. Axel didn't quite understand what the point of the motion was.

"Oh come on, you're the big strong Carrier, right? You should be fine," Roxas assured and pulled the leg of Axel's shorts away from his limb so he could snake an arm up them. "Maybe you should invest in some boxers, this is way too easy," the blonde added.

"The point of me trying to walk was so I could walk away from yo _uuu—Ah!_ " Axel trailed and grabbed onto the exam table for stability as the blonde's fingers wrapped around him and gave him a light stroke.

"See this is the advantage of being the little guy. I can totally cling to your leg like a koala and get all up in your crevices," Roxas laughed.

"My 'crevices' huh? Th-that's sounds _totally_ sexy," Axel said sarcastically, trying to ignore the blonde's ministrations. He couldn't of course and he swallowed thickly, closed his eyes and summoned up all of his will power.

"You should know by now that I'm really bad with words," Roxas said.

"Yeah well _you_ should know this is _extremely_ awkward to walk in on," Cloud blurted. Roxas' hand froze and Axel's eyes widened. The redhead looked to the doors.

"Oh. Hey Cloud," Axel said and laughed a bit. The taller blonde held up a hand and wiggled his fingertips at him in a light wave.

"Hello Axel. I want to borrow your hand job chimp," Cloud said and pointed to Roxas.

"Chimp?" Roxas questioned and pulled his hand out of Axel's shorts. His cheeks were on fire and he fought the urge to hide them in his hands.

"You look like a baby chimpanzee clinging to his leg like that."

"Oh. Well I'm not going to be _your_ hand job chimp so what do you want?" Roxas asked and pushed himself away from Axel's leg. The redhead offered him a hand and the blonde took it and was pulled to his feet. Cloud crooked a finger at Roxas.

"We're going out," the taller blonde said.

"…To where?" Roxas asked.

"Just out. Zexion's coming too."

"Oh. Okay? I'm not allowed to know where exactly?"

"Not yet, no," Cloud said. Roxas furrowed his brows and looked to the other Charge before looking to Axel. The redhead shrugged.

"It's getting late anyway, we can be done with work for today I guess," Axel said. Cloud laughed.

"Oh is that what you were doing? Wow, Leon and I have been doing this _all_ wrong, then," the older blonde snorted. Roxas' cheeks reddened again. The redhead chuckled and ran his fingers through his flaxen hair lightly.

"So long as you bring him back in one piece, I suppose I can let you borrow him," Axel said, looking to Cloud. The taller blonde nodded.

"Of course. I'll try to have him back before it gets too late."

"…Are we really going to be out that long?" Roxas questioned hesitantly. Cloud shrugged.

"We might. Demyx said to have Zexion back by eleven if I could, so it probably wouldn't be much later than that. Both of you are way too whipped for my tastes but if you need to be back by then too, I guess I can oblige."

"Leon doesn't care if you're out until all hours of the morning?" Axel asked.

"If he does, it doesn't matter to me. I'm a big boy, I can handle myself."

"I would think he'd be more concerned about you waking up for work the next morning."

"He's come to work without me before, you know."

"Still…" the redhead said and furrowed his brows.

"Why is it any of your concern?"

"Well waking up for work the next morning is what _I'm_ concerned about," Axel said.

"Fine. Then he'll be back when I bring Zexion back," Cloud said. The redhead looked to Roxas. The smaller blonde cast a suspicious gaze to the taller one.

"I would feel better about leaving if I knew what we were doing," Roxas said.

"Too bad? You can refuse," Cloud said.

"Give us a minute," Axel said. The older blonde gave them a look as if to say 'are you fucking serious?' but left quietly. Roxas turned to the redhead. Axel smiled. "You don't need to be that wary of Cloud. He's kind of an asshole, but he's not out to hurt you."

"Yeah, but this is really weird. He hardly ever initiates conversation with me, let alone takes me places. I feel better that Zexion's going but it's still really awkward. Especially since I have no idea what we're doing."

"I wouldn't worry about it too much. He knows what is okay and what isn't. It's not like he's luring you away to sell you into slavery or something. Go out and get some fresh air and be social for a little bit, okay?" the Carrier urged. Roxas chewed on his lip a little in thought.

"Well…" the blonde trailed and thought some more. "Okay. But don't bring any more prostitutes home while I'm out, alright? I don't need any more." Axel chuckled and opened his arms a bit. Roxas responded quickly and they wrapped each other in a warm embrace.

"I won't. I don't plan on going out front anymore by myself. Too many strays," the redhead said and laid a firm kiss on the blonde's temple. "Have fun. Be safe."

"Okay," Roxas said and looked up. Axel smiled and leaned down for a quick kiss before they pulled apart. The blonde waved over his shoulder as he made his way out into hallway where Cloud was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, looking surly.

"Did you get permission?" the taller Charge asked. Roxas gave him a light glare. Cloud smirked and pushed away from the wall and headed down the hall. The smaller blonde followed after him. Demyx and Zexion were in the front of the facility already waiting for them.

"About time!" the sandy blonde cried. Cloud ignored him and made his way over to his motorcycle. "I want my Zexion back in one piece, lubed up, but with no barf please," Demyx said. Cloud waved a dismissive hand and Zexion sighed. Roxas raised a brow.

"What?" the smaller blonde questioned, looking to Demyx. The Carrier grinned.

"Drunken sex is the best kind of sex, Roxas. But only if you don't barf all over the other party involved," he twittered. Zexion smacked him on the arm before giving him a glare. Demyx giggled and waved before heading back into the facility. "Have fun!" he chimed over his shoulder.

"We're going drinking?" Roxas asked Zexion. The other Charge nodded.

"Cloud called it 'alcohol therapy.'"

"That sounds unhealthy."

"Oh it's not for him. It's for you."

* * *

The ride to the bar was extremely awkward. Roxas, being the littlest, had to be sandwiched between the other two Charges on Cloud's bike. He wasn't looking forward to the ride home because of it. He was now far more acquainted with his friends than he ever wanted to be and he was wondering what the general public thought about the view they must have created. What made it worse was that he couldn't get the feeling of Cloud's butt mashed against him out of his head. It wasn't until they got there, which didn't take very long, that the feeling subsided because the taller blonde immediately leapt off his bike as soon as it stopped and forced Roxas and Zexion inside.

"After today, we're never doing that again. Between your dick against my ass and the battery cooking my nuts, that was a whole mess of awkward that I'd rather not deal with again. That stays between us, got it?" Cloud barked as he weaved his way between the other patrons.

"Don't need to tell me twice," Roxas agreed. Zexion either didn't care or didn't have anything else to add because he stayed silent. The bar wasn't exactly what Roxas was expecting. He was thinking something small, like the one he and Zack had gone to that only had a few tables and the bar itself. The current one had more than two dozen tables, a stage for some reason, and an enormous bar in front of a kitchen area. Apparently, it was more of a restaurant than just a simple drinking establishment. Roxas was okay with food and drink. He wasn't so sure he was okay with the stage. It was more of a catwalk than anything else but it had a very obvious and suspicious pole at the end. What's more, the waitresses and bartenders were scantly clad at best. Cloud picked a table.

The table was round but it was still a booth with one solid round cushioned seat. Cloud slid into the seat and scooted around the surface until he was sitting in the middle. Zexion and Roxas took either end. The smaller blonde furrowed his brows a bit. In the middle of the table was a little black device with a keypad. It looked similar to the one Ventus conducted his business with and it left a bad taste in Roxas' mouth. Cloud was unperturbed though and dug around in his back pocket for his wallet. He pulled out his Credit card and slid it through the device and pressed **3** before sitting back again.

"So anyway—" Cloud started as he slouched in his seat a bit.

"Did you bring me to a titty bar?" Roxas asked abruptly, squinting at the other blonde.

"Possibly. Don't like girls?"

"No, I'm alright with it, I was just making sure. It wasn't what I was expecting," the smaller blonde said. Zexion drummed his fingers on the tabletop a bit.

"This is hardly the place for a serious discussion," he said flatly, casting a raised brow at Cloud. The taller blonde shrugged.

"You knew we were coming here before we left. You could've protested then," Cloud said.

"Does Leon know you come here?" Zexion questioned.

"He does, actually. Contrary to popular belief, while I may not give a damn if he cares about most things, I still think about his feelings when I do stuff like this. I'm not _that_ socially inept. Zack comes too sometimes when he catches Tifa on a good day. I never come here by myself though. That'd just be sad."

"Does Demyx care?" Roxas questioned, looking to Zexion.

"I'm not entirely sure he fully understands the whole 'strip club' idea, honestly. He doesn't care about most things though so long as I come back to him eventually, which I intend to."

"Oh. Demyx never went to a strip club while he was with you before you came here I take it?" the smaller blonde asked. Zexion shook his head.

"Early nineteen hundred's Bautzen didn't have strip clubs like we know them here. If there was any sort of sexual debaucheries to be had, one would go to the brothel and buy a woman that way. This sort of… show wasn't common," Zexion said and waved a hand at the stage. "I prefer this over a brothel though. As strange as it may sound, this is far cleaner than any whore house I've ever been in."

"You…You went to brothels?" Roxas asked in disbelief.

"I hated my wife," Zexion said flatly.

"Holy shit, I didn't know you were married," Cloud snorted. Zexion shrugged and didn't add anything further. Roxas chewed on his lip some as he mulled the new information over. His attention was distracted though when a waitress came up to their table with hardly any clothing on. Roxas blinked as her breasts jiggled underneath her tube top precariously close to his face. She had a small electronic tablet in one hand and three menus in the other. She slid them over the table for them before giggling and flicking her wavy auburn hair over her shoulder.

"Hi Cloud," she said in a singsong tone and waved her fingers at him.

"Hi Stacy," Cloud said, mimicking her inflection. Roxas blinked again and attempted to find a name tag on the woman. She didn't have one.

"Who'er your friends?" she asked.

"Zexion and Roxas," Cloud answered simply, motioning to each of them in turn. Stacy smiled at them both. "Annabelle knows Zexion but Roxas is new," he continued. Stacy's smile widened and she took the opportunity to sit next to Roxas. She draped an arm around his shoulders and leaned on him a bit.

"Is that so sweetie?" she asked. He tried his best to ignore the breast on his shoulder and nodded some, pulling a menu towards himself. Stacy giggled. "Well you're in for a _real_ treat then tonight. The dancing starts in an hour but the third act is Gretchen who is one of our best," she said. She took her arm off of him and brought up her little tablet and stylus. "What can I get you gentlemen?" she asked.

"Give us a minute if you would," Cloud said and she nodded. She nudged Roxas a bit with a smile before pushing herself out of the booth and trailing away. "I'm not a big fan of Stacy," the taller blonde said once she was a fair distance away.

"Oh. I couldn't tell," Roxas said. Zexion smirked.

"You'll know when a girl comes around that he likes," the steely-haired Charge said. Roxas raised a brow.

"How often did you say you come here?" he asked, looking between them both.

"As often as I can," Cloud said.

"This will be my sixth time," Zexion said. Roxas chewed on his lip for a minute, wondering how Axel would feel if he came here more often. So far, just be able to sit around and talk with a couple of friends was enough entertainment. Doing it while intoxicated sounded like more fun, especially if there were half naked women involved. For as much as Roxas loved Axel, the redhead was still lacking a few things in the way of physical features. The blonde was still a little confused with himself as far as his sexuality went. He _knew_ he still liked women but he also knew he loved Axel. But at the same time, he knew he didn't go around thinking other men were sexually attractive. He was comfortable enough to admit that some guys were better looking than others but it wasn't like he had fantasies about massive orgies involving a group of men. He didn't know if he could call himself bisexual because his attraction at other men started and stopped with Axel. Being attracted to one man out of billions of women didn't seem like enough. It was strange.

"Strife!" another female voice called. Cloud blinked a few times before looking over his menu. His eyebrows rose at the woman who was approaching them. She was prettier than Stacy but with half the amount of breasts which was fine because it suited her smaller frame. She had light mousey brown hair that fell to her waist and legs that stretched on for miles. She came to the table quickly with a wide grin but before she said anything else, she ducked under the table and disappeared. She remerged on the far side next to Cloud and wiggled around until she could sit with him comfortably. He leaned back, abandoning the menu and lifted an arm for her. She hugged him around the waist and rested her head on his shoulder. He draped his arm around her and rubbed her back a bit. Apparently Cloud liked her much more than Stacy.

"Hi Colleen," Cloud said and smiled at her. Her grin persisted and she hugged him.

"Hi Cloud. When are you going to marry me?" she asked abruptly. Cloud chuckled.

"You ask me this every time you see me and yet I give you the same answer. As soon as my husband divorces me, I'm all yours," he said. Roxas snorted and hid behind his menu. Colleen pouted.

"That joke is getting really old," she said and giggled. Cloud shrugged.

"What can I say? It's all I've got."

* * *

Axel poked at the Link Distribution Center idly. The beginning processes of making an Implant were far too boring for his tastes. His boredom was compounded when he remembered he didn't have Roxas to pester. In order to keep each other in the spirit of their little competition, they had both turned up the sensitivity of their Signets extremely high. It kept things interesting enough because neither one of them could sneak away to relieve themselves. Now though, Axel considered turning his down. He didn't know how to take Roxas' apparent arousal. He really wished Cloud had told him what he had planned on doing with Roxas. Things were getting suspicious.

* * *

"So anyway," Cloud said and set down his beer. The first girl had just finished her routine and Roxas was sad to see her leave. "There was a reason I wrenched you away from your activities with Axel."

"Yeah?" Roxas asked around a mouthful of burger. Cloud nodded.

"It's about Leon."

"…Oh," the smaller blonde said and finished chewing before sitting back. He almost wished he had skipped the food and went straight to the booze. At least then, he'd probably be less apprehensive. Cloud rubbed his brows some as his expression grew more serious.

"I'm not good with words, so I don't really know how to say things delicately so… I apologize in advance. Leon is about as awful as I am when it comes to talking to people about this short of deal and I know for a fact that he would never approach you about it so I'm trying to do it for him. If you haven't noticed, which you probably haven't, Leon is legitimately upset about what he did. Personally, I couldn't give two shits about it because Xemnas was an awful guy and I hated him with every fiber of my being. That being said, I also think you're being a tremendous pussy for letting something like this effect you so much. It's getting to the point where we can't even be ourselves around you because Leon is afraid that he'll upset you somehow. I can't even pick at him and purposefully get him angry like I used to around you and it bothers the hell out of me. If you don't believe me, you should try to pay attention more when we're around you. Leon has trained himself to use a fork now because the feeling of raw meat makes him sick," Cloud said and furrowed his brows a bit.

"I noticed it quickly because we've known each other longer, Roxas, but I can say with the utmost certainty that things have changed considerably," Zexion agreed. "Leon, though a bit rough around the edges, is an incredibly compassionate person and he values life more than anything else in existence. For him to end a life, even if it's one that he hated, probably damaged something inside him that none of us can comprehend. When he upset you at lunch several days ago, it made me realize how much his guilt is tied to you and your reaction. His entire demeanor is built around subtlety and I don't expect you to understand, but I ask you to take my word for it when I say that he's hurting. Would you say that's fair, Cloud?" he asked, looking to the taller blonde. Cloud nodded.

"He has too much pride to admit it openly but when we're at home by ourselves, it's blatant. If he had been by himself when it happened and didn't have a constant reminder of his actions afterward then he'd probably be way better off but your fear of him keeps it fresh. My patience is wearing thin and I didn't have a whole lot of it to begin with. I'm really tired of seeing him mope around like a half dead slug. He doesn't talk about it, he doesn't say anything about you, he doesn't blame anyone but himself, but it's so obvious to me I _had_ to say something. Sorry I dragged you out here and away from your comfort zone but Axel is too much of a crutch for you and I think it's time you stood on your own two feet about this and man up. Leon didn't touch you at all, right?" Cloud asked.

"Right," Roxas agreed.

"Then what's the problem? Seeing something isn't the same as experiencing it so I'm having a hard time comprehending this. I'm not going to go into detail but I did some awful things in my previous life and it really takes a lot for me to get upset about something like this. So seeing something would be nothing for me. Help me understand so that I can help you somehow because this shit needs to stop," the taller blonde said grumpily.

"I don't know what I can do to help myself. Axel and I have been trying to find me a therapist but we need Ansem's approval before we can move forward and we've been waiting for weeks. We don't have health insurance so we can't afford it ourselves and we don't have the money to pay out of pocket, either. Honestly, I don't have a problem with Leon until he gets angry. His expression is what makes me remember things and it isn't so much that I fear him but the memories he brings back for me. I've never seen someone be…dismembered before. I hardly watched horror movies in my previous life simply because I didn't like the gore. I never got nightmares from them but the…innards and things made me sick so I don't really have any experience even with fake movie blood," Roxas said.

"I'm envious. I wish I could say the same things about myself," Cloud snorted.

"Do you have any positive memories about Leon?" Zexion asked. Roxas chewed on his lip as he thought about it.

"Well I don't have any additional _bad_ ones but I also don't spend a whole lot of time around him. Most of the memories I have that involve him are mostly neutral every day occurrence kinds of things," Roxas said.

"Perhaps spending a day with him would be beneficial then."

" _There's_ an entertaining proposition. He'd bore your skin off," Cloud said and laughed a bit. Zexion shrugged.

"It's worth a shot though. Think about it. If Roxas can connect the regular Leon with the one that triggers bad thoughts, then his subconscious can be reassured that the Leon that traumatized him really wasn't Leon. It doesn't have to be the most exciting thing in the world, but at the very least Roxas can have the opportunity to be at peace around him and it could help."

"I don't argue that it could help, but it could also make things worse," Cloud said.

"I'm aware of that but I can't think of anything else. Is there an activity that Leon likes to do that has the least probability to make him angry?" Zexion asked. Cloud furrowed his brows. He thought for a moment before giving a wry smirk.

"Well most of the things I can think of involve food or the bed. I don't need them getting _that_ close. That'd be weird."

"Yeah I agree," Roxas said and furrowed his brows. Cloud laughed.

"He's a really boring guy. Food, sex, sleep, work, with the occasional bathroom break is about all he does on a regular basis."

"Like most Carriers," Zexion said.

"Unless you're Demyx and you can con Axel into doing stupid things with you," the taller blonde said, casting a sideways glance to the other Charge. Zexion thought about it and nodded some.

"True. Demyx is one of the more active ones," he agreed. Roxas leaned forward again and took another bite of his burger and chewed thoughtfully. He had never thought about it before but it occurred to him that Axel, when left to his own devices, doesn't really do anything exciting either. He didn't know whether or not that was a good thing. The lights dimmed again as another girl made her way onto the stage. There was light applause from the other patrons in the bar before the pulsating music began again. The conversation ceased as the trio's attention was pulled to her.

* * *

Axel flopped backwards onto Demyx's bed with a sigh. It was still a couple hours before Roxas was expected home but he couldn't force himself to stare at the Link Distribution Center anymore. Demyx was mostly ready for bed and was pretty much in the same boat. He welcomed the company while they waited for their Charges to come back to them.

"So how's the peanut?" the redhead asked, turning to his friend. Demyx shrugged.

"Alive, which is really really nice to say. I hope she survives," he sighed dreamily.

"I hope so too. I'm really curious to see what kind of kid you and Zexion can produce. Hyperactive bookworms are really hard to imagine."

"I'm not hyperactive. I'm…sociable," Demyx huffed.

"No my friend, you're hyper. They have this stuff in Roxas' plane called Ritalin. I suggest we go back and get some, it's supposed to help wayward kids like you," Axel said and chuckled.

"…Did you just call me a kid?" Demyx questioned with a confused face. Axel laughed. The sandy blonde huffed again and crossed his arms over his chest. "Zexion says I'm getting better."

"You are. I was just dicking with you."

"Okay good because I was about to punch you. How's your Blank coming?"

"Good enough I suppose, I haven't gotten very far so I don't really have a status report for you. How's yours?"

"I'll probably be done in a couple months," the sandy blonde said.

"Wow. That was fast."

"Well it's what I've been doing almost constantly for the last two months. I haven't touched the Extractor or anything else in the lab. It's possible to finish them in three months but a lot of people take their time with it because it's so damn boring."

"Are you guys testing Ansem's drug?"

"No way. I'm never touching anything that involves the word 'drug' ever again. Unless its medicine or something, it's not coming near me," Demyx said and furrowed his brows. "Are you?"

"We plan on it. We're playing a game first though."

"Was that the 'grope the Charge but don't finish the job' game from a few days ago?"

"Yep."

"Sounds fun. Horrible. But fun."

"It's torture."

"He's allowed to do it to you back? Ah! Priceless!" Demyx laughed. Axel grinned. "Well let's hope Cloud brings Roxas back completely shitfaced so you can have your way with him and he won't remember anything. Gives you an unforeseen upper hand, you know?"

"Cloud is getting Roxas drunk?" the redhead asked with a raised brow.

"He didn't tell you?"

"No. He just came in and took him essentially."

"Oh. Well…surprise?"

"Apparently," Axel snorted.

* * *

"Are you sure?" Roxas asked blearily as he cast a sideways glance to Cloud who was looking Zexion over carefully. Between the three of them, they had covered the surface of the table with empty glasses, plates, and beer bottles. Zexion had grown extremely quiet after his twelfth beer. Cloud insisted he was drunk but Roxas wasn't convinced. The smaller blonde had only had six by that point but he also ate the least while the taller purposefully kept his alcohol consumption minimal because he was driving. Zexion on the other hand, was a tank. He had consumed the most of both food and drink but looked completely unfazed and had kept his table manners the entire time. It was an amazing thing.

"Totally," Cloud said. "Zexion."

"Hmm?" Zexion hummed, looking to his friend and blinking slowly.

"You're not going hurl all over my bike are you?" Cloud asked. Zexion shook his head lightly and went back to watching the pretty lights and breasts on the stage. Roxas snorted a little. He desperately wanted Zexion to say something just for the novelty of hearing him trip over his words for once. Cloud looked to the smaller blonde. "How about you? You're good?"

"Yeah. Fuzzy, but good. I could do a few more and get completely hammered but then you'd have to carry me and I'm not into that," Roxas said.

"Glad we agree," Cloud said and sat back in his seat. He looked at his watch to take in the time. They had an hour before they were expected back which gave Zexion enough time to digest a little before they shook him up with the ride home. Hopefully his stomach was just as good as keeping the food down as it was taking it all in.

* * *

Once ten forty-five rolled around, Demyx went outside to wait for Cloud to bring Zexion home. Since Axel didn't have anything better to do, he decided to keep his friend company. They sat on the grass with their backs against the outside wall of the facility, watching the moon through the wavy glass of the dome overhead.

"Have you ever had alcohol before?" Demyx asked.

"No. I don't intend to either," Axel said.

"I tried it once. It made me sick. It burns and smells funny too."

"Yes, which is why I don't plan on drinking any anytime soon. I don't see the appeal."

"Yeah, but I've always wanted to try and get drunk though. I want to know what it feels like and why humans get addicted to it."

"Ask Zack."

"I could, but it's not the same. I mean, I've been lightheaded before and I've been sick enough to where my coordination is off but I can't imagine the lightheadedness and the lack of coordination together. Is it really all that fun?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Zexion's funny when he's drunk."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. He's really quiet around other people but when we're by ourselves, I can poke at him and he gets all twitchy. And then if I poke at him enough he gets really horny really fast and then he's insatiable and doesn't leave me alone for four hours or until he passes out, whichever comes first."

"…That's way more than I needed to know, Demyx," Axel sighed.

"I'm giving you encouragement for when Roxas comes home," Demyx giggled.

"Well I've seen Roxas drink before but I've never been around him when he's legitimately drunk so I don't know what to expect. Sora said he gets angry easily, which bothers me."

"Uh oh. Domestic violence."

"I'm extremely happy most of his furniture is cemented to the floor."

"Well if he starts beating you up, call me and I'll kick his ass," Demyx said and puffed his chest up bravely.

"I think I can handle him," Axel laughed.

"Yeah, he's kind of shrimpy."

"Not shrimpy, but he is smaller than me so I can just… sit on him or something."

"Or pick him up by the arm and hold him away from you," Demyx laughed.

"He's not _that_ short."

"He's shorter than Zexion. That makes him fucking short."

"Alright fine. He's short," the redhead agreed. There was a low rumble in the distance that made Demyx break out into a grin. A few moments later, Cloud's motorcycle crested over the hill and slowed to a stop. Demyx was on his feet in a split second and skittered over to the bike. Zexion pushed himself off the vehicle, which freed Roxas, and teetered in his place a bit. The smaller blonde dismounted easily to let Cloud scoot back on the seat so his testicles weren't being boiled anymore by the battery that was perched in front of the seat where a gasoline tank would normally be. Roxas watched Zexion for a bit with a smirk. The other Charge blinked at Demyx a few times.

"You okay?" Demyx asked, Zexion nodded quietly. The sandy blonde grinned at him. "Awesome," he said and gathered his Charge into his arms and looked to Cloud. "Thanks for the gift!" he twittered. Cloud rolled his eyes and ran a hand over his face with a sigh. Demyx pulled Zexion away from the motorcycle and Roxas waved to Cloud before heading towards Axel. Cloud turned around and left quickly, leaving them in his dust. Demyx hefted Zexion upwards and the Charge clamped his legs around his lover's waist and let himself be carried away. "See you guys tomorrow!" the sandy blonde giggled as he went inside. The redhead pushed himself up from the grass and looked Roxas over.

"You don't seem drunk," Axel said. Roxas shrugged.

"Not as drunk as Zack got me. I'm pretty fuzzy though," the blonde admitted and smiled wistfully. Axel snorted a bit and smiled back. The redhead stretched his arms over his head as far as they would go and pushed himself up on his tip toes to stretch out his legs. He yawned afterward for good measure.

"Bedtime," he said and Roxas nodded. Axel held out his hand and Roxas laced their fingers together as they made their way inside.

* * *

Roxas fought off the food coma and the beer lullaby as he waited for Axel to finish his shower. It was a quick one and the redhead was back in the bedroom within fifteen minutes, rubbing at his hair furiously to get most of the water out. He didn't bother to brush it and opted to rake his fingers through it a few times before he crawled in the unoccupied side of the bed. He lay on his side facing his lover and Roxas extended a hand. Axel scooted closer and took it, curling their digits together and tucking them under his chin. The blonde smiled, watching Axel's eyes glint in the moonlight. The Carrier smiled back at him.

"Did you have fun?" he asked quietly, as if he felt he was going to break some invisible rule if his volume was too loud.

"Yeah. I wish Cloud would've told me he was taking me to a strip club though. It was a bit of a surprise."

"…A strip club? We're talking about the same Cloud, right?" the redhead asked suspiciously.

"Oh yes. Apparently he's a semi-regular there."

"Weird."

"I know."

"Were the girls pretty at least?"

"They were. His main prerogative was to talk to me about Leon though."

"And he chose to do it in a strip club?" Axel chuckled.

"That's what Zexion said. I will admit that if we hadn't been there and he had approached me by himself, I probably would've been more upset so I kind of understood. It was a nice gesture though; he paid for everything. It just wasn't the best time for a strip club on my part. Between you teasing me and the girls teasing me, I'm almost in pain," he sighed. Axel smiled and scooted a bit closer. He let go of Roxas' hand and ran his fingers though his flaxen hair.

"Poor Roxas is all backed up," the Carrier cooed.

"It's not fair," Roxas huffed.

"I know. It's getting close to when we need to test the drug though. If you wake up with a hangover tomorrow you won't be able to do much and then we'd only have a few days before the deadline and that's cutting it a bit too close for me," Axel said and leaned forward enough to lay a gentle kiss on the blonde's hairline.

"Is the game over then?"

"Unless you want to keep at it."

"Fuck no," Roxas hissed. Axel chuckled.

"I'm surprised you didn't jump me. I'm impressed," the redhead said.

"Thanks. I can get really competitive. It does weird things to me. When did you want to test the drug?"

"If you're up to it, I'm ready to try tomorrow. If not, then whenever. Preferably sooner rather than later. What about tonight though?"

"Honestly? I want to, but I don't think I can move. If you shake me up too much I might just barf on you and that's not very sexy. Beer makes me sleepy. Hard liquor makes me stupid. Cloud gave me beer."

"What did Zack give you?" Axel asked.

"Hard liquor."

"Oh. Well I missed that opportunity then," the redhead sighed. Roxas laughed a bit.

"Sorry. I can go out and buy some and you can get me smashed after the test. If you can get Sora drunk, it's even better but I'd feel bad for Riku afterward."

"Why so?"

"Sora's got a sensitive stomach but a liver made of steel. He needs to drink a lot to get drunk but the amount he needs to drink makes him vomit almost instantly once he reaches the threshold. It's really weird."

"Huh…" Axel trailed, furrowing his brows. Roxas blinked slowly a few times before letting out a tremendous yawn. "Sleep time?" the redhead asked. The blonde nodded.

"Sorry," he said and cleared the rest of the distance between them and pressed himself against the redhead comfortably. Axel smiled and hugged him close.

"It's alright. I can wait. Goodnight Roxas."

"G'night Axel."


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

"Axel, hold still," Roxas growled.

"No! You're trying to hurt me," the redhead pouted.

"You're being stupid. Stop!" the blonde barked as Axel tried to wiggle away from him again.

"I hate needles! Why must you insist on putting me in pain? I thought you loved me!" Axel cried. Roxas let go of his wrist and sighed. The redhead pulled his arm to himself protectively and scooted across the bed and flopped onto the floor. He squashed himself up against his side table and hid himself behind the bed enough so only his eyes and the top of his head could be seen over the mattress and gave his Charge a series of cranky dirty looks. He heaved a dramatic sniffle. "Roxas hates me," he pouted.

"…You're not serious," the blonde said flatly, the syringe of Ansem's drug pointed toward the ceiling in his hand.

"No I'm not, actually. I'm just fucking with you," Axel laughed.

"Okay good because I was going to go find a camera to capture how much of a tremendous bitch you were being because I know no one would believe me without proof."

"Pretty convincing, right?" Axel asked and grinned. He pushed himself up enough to drape his arms onto the bed again with his inner elbows pointed upwards for easy access.

"It took me a minute to catch it," Roxas chuckled and scooted across the bed to him. Axel squeezed his eyes shut and looked away when the blonde lowered the needle towards him.

"I really do hate needles though," the redhead said.

"Me too," Roxas agreed and carefully angled the syringe so he wouldn't go too deep. Axel had very healthy visible human veins on the underside of his arms and it was making the blonde's job incredibly easy. A quick poke and a wince later and Roxas was able to toss the empty syringe in the garbage and start typing away on his tablet. Axel sniffled dramatically again and pulled himself up onto the bed.

"It burns," the redhead said as the spreading heat radiated up his arm. Roxas gave him a sterile pad to squash over the little needle hole to stop the bleeding. The blonde took note of the burning and started filling in the prompts on the blank report he was given. Axel held his arm over his head with the sterile pad pressed into the crook of his arm and sighed.

"What's wrong?" Roxas asked.

"Nothing, just apprehensive."

"You'll be fine."

"I wish we could go to work naked every day," Axel blurted with a grin and shook his hips a bit. Roxas laughed.

"That'd be alright with me," the blonde said. The redhead pulled the pad off his arm and found it had stopped bleeding so he tossed it aside. "Feeling anything yet?" Roxas asked. Axel shrugged.

"Not really. My chest hurts a little and I'm really warm but other than that, I'm okay."

"Alright. I wonder if Sora and Riku tried theirs yet. I haven't talked to either of them in days."

"We're bad friends," Axel chuckled.

"That's pretty much how I feel about it. It's like… I can go forever without talking to Sora and pick up right where we left off. I feel guiltier because I still don't really know Riku all that well and I've known him for a while now."

"Some personalities you mesh with, some you don't. Riku's not as quiet as Zexion but he isn't the most sociable person around either. You hardly know Leon too if you think about it, regardless of how much you two went through together."

"Yeah. I feel weird saying that I know Cloud more than I know Leon."

"Which is the way it works with them. While Leon is more pleasant to be around, Cloud is the more talkative one," Axel said and shrugged.

"Zexion thinks spending a calm day with Leon will help me get over whatever trauma I have," Roxas said. Axel thought about it for a moment as a bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face. The blonde noticed and made a note as the redhead wiped it away.

"I can see where that would be beneficial. I can't think for the life of me what you two would do together, though."

"That's what Cloud said."

"He likes spending time with the kids, maybe you can convince Theresa to let you two babysit together."

"…Possibly. The cubs are getting a little big though."

"True, but they won't hurt you on purpose and with Leon there I'm sure they'd be more occupied with him anyway."

"Maybe. I can say something to Cloud," Roxas said. Axel nodded and rubbed his chest, furrowing his brows. "Problems?" the blonde asked.

"Getting a bit hard to breathe deep and if I keep sweating like this, it's going to smell awful in here before anything fun happens," the redhead said and wiped at his forehead again. Roxas snorted a bit and made a note before pushing himself out of the bed to open the window.

"The shortness of breath was expected as is the sweating. I'm not that concerned about it. So long as you're not vomiting and shitting everywhere, I'm okay."

"Yeah, no. Everything is happening on my top half; my GI tract isn't involved thankfully," Axel said. Roxas' watch started to beep and he silenced it quickly and looked at the alert.

_Fever_

"I'm not dying am I?" the redhead asked. Roxas shook his head and made a note on his tablet before he reclaimed his spot on the bed.

"Nope," the blonde said and put his hand on Axel's forehead. The redhead felt a little warmer than normal but nothing too horrible. He took his hand away and wiped the sweat on the comforter. Axel scowled.

"Don't like my sweat?" he asked.

"I need to hold my stylus; it's got nothing to do with your sweat. I don't mind it," Roxas said simply and poked away at his tablet to illustrate his point. "You sweat like this when we have sex normally so this isn't new."

"Oh…I do?"

"Yeah. You don't notice?"

"No. I'm focused on other things."

"Oh."

"Glad to know you pay attention to the details instead of the overall experience," Axel said flatly and gave him a sideways glare.

"It's sort of hard to not notice when a drop of sweat fall off your nose and lands in my eye," Roxas said.

"…That's happened before?"

"Yep."

"Sorry."

"It's not like you can control it. I'm not upset."

"Yeah well… it's kind of gross," Axel said and wiped at his forehead again. "Apparently I'm just really good at producing various bodily fluids."

"Can't argue with that," Roxas said and grinned. Axel huffed before a sharp pain shot through his chest causing his breath to get caught in his throat. He pressed a hand to his chest as he involuntarily rolled to his side and curled up into a ball with his eyes squeezed shut. The blonde was immediately worried and dropped his tablet and scooted next to the redhead. "What's wrong?" Roxas asked. Axel opened his mouth to say something but could only utter a strangled squeak. He attempted to suck in a series of shallow breaths with little success. After a very long forty-five seconds, the pain slowly leaked away and he was able to breathe better. He let out a long breath.

"Ow," Axel grunted. Roxas pushed his brows together and laid a hand on the redhead's arm.

"Are you alright?" he asked and Axel nodded some before forcing his body to relax and roll over. When he opened his eyes again, Roxas was a little taken aback. The Carrier's eyes were changing colors by themselves much like he had seen Leon's do before he attacked Xemnas. It made his blood run cold and he scooted away a few inches, warily watching the redhead.

"What's wrong?" Axel asked, taking in Roxas' sudden change in demeanor.

"Your eyes are changing colors. Leon's did that…you know. Before," the blonde said hesitantly. The redhead furrowed his brows.

"I don't feel anything different though. I think I'm okay," he assured and reached a hand out towards his Charge. Roxas chewed on his lip a little before taking the hand in his own. Axel pulled him closer and the blonde lay on the bed next to him. They locked eyes for a few moments and Axel could see his reflection in the cerulean orbs. He blinked in spite of himself. He had a hard time believing that he couldn't feel his eyes changing so quickly, but at the same time he didn't feel it when they changed normally anyway. Roxas brought a hand up and picked a few pieces of hair off of the redhead's face that had stuck to his layer of sweat. The gentle touch of Roxas' fingers against his skin sent fireworks up and down Axel's spine; far more stimulation that he would normally feel from something so simple. His body shivered and he closed his eyes.

"Axel?" Roxas questioned when the Carrier lay still. Shifting eyes opened again and looked at him. The blonde gave him a light smile before stroking his cheek lightly with the backs of his fingers. Axel shuddered again. Roxas looked down between them to see that the redhead was completely stiff and ready to go. He fought the urge to laugh and make a smartass comment. He was completely aware of how easily Axel would respond to him but he didn't think it would be _that_ easy. The redhead pulled his hand away from his face and wrapped his tongue around two of the blonde's fingers, snapping Roxas' attention back to him.

Axel was still mentally stable but he feared what his control would be reduced to if he was to mount Roxas. Already, he could feel the urge to pound him into the mattress but he couldn't let himself get that carried away. So even though it was a bit embarrassing for him, he released the blonde's fingers with a thick coating of saliva and rolled onto his stomach and pulled his legs under himself, forcing his hind end in the air. Roxas sat up and blinked at him a bit and Axel buried his face in the pillow to hide his pinkened cheeks. His breathing was picking up and his mind was beginning race with frighteningly incoherent thoughts of rejection. Roxas didn't know what to think. He was more than happy to take Axel but the redhead's body language was like a neon sign in his corneas screaming 'I'm ashamed of myself,' and he didn't like it. He wiped his wet fingers on the comforter and pulled himself up towards the redhead's face and ran his fingers through Axel's hair.

"Roxas?" the Carrier asked quietly and turned his face towards the hand.

"Why are you hiding from me?" the blonde asked sadly. Axel reburied himself in the pillow and heaved a shuddering sigh.

"I'm trying to stay in control. I just… need you touch me. If I go after you I'm afraid I'll hurt you. If this is too much though, I understand…" he trailed, his words partially muffled by a mouthful of fabric and stuffing.

"Too much? We haven't done anything and you're not going to hurt me, don't worry about it," Roxas said. Axel hesitated a bit before pushing himself up onto his elbows and looking at the blonde sheepishly through pieces of his hair. He gripped the comforter in order to keep his hands under control. His hands shook with how tight the grip was and the blonde furrowed his brows. Roxas reached forward and grasped Axel's wrists and pulled on them. The redhead resisted for a few seconds before relenting and letting himself be tugged along. Roxas put one arm on either side of himself on the bed and reached behind himself onto the side table. He felt around blindly a bit between the empty sample canisters they had gathered before his hand fell on the bottle of lube and pulled it forward. He wiggled it at Axel and the redhead stared at it. "I don't want you to be ashamed of this. You go first," the blonde said.

"Roxas… I don't think…"

"Stop," Roxas interrupted and dropped the bottle to take the redhead's face in his hands. "Drugs or no, I still love you and I trust you. Just remember we need samples," he said and rubbed Axel's cheeks with his thumbs. The Carrier let out a light sigh and closed his eyes. The blonde smiled and lifted his face a bit more so he could lay a kiss on his lips. The redhead's eyes snapped open, the frantic prismatic display startling Roxas a bit. Axel gripped his hips suddenly and pulled him further onto the bed, causing him to flop onto his back and be dragged forward.

The redhead wasted no time in prostrating his lover before him and drinking in the view with ravenous eyes. Roxas swallowed thickly, watching Axel's eyes scan him carefully. He was thankful to realize the redhead had enough sense in him still to reach for the lube and squeeze a generous portion on himself. Axel slathered them both with the slick substance, his overly warm hands sending wild tingles all over Roxas' skin. Two of his fingers dipped low and made the blonde gasp when they suddenly plunged inside him almost painfully. Axel lowered himself onto his Charge and nipped and pulled at his skin on his chest and stomach while his fingers went to work, pulling the blonde open for him. Roxas' heart sped up with he realized he had opened the floodgates on himself. Axel wasn't patient enough to keep things slow like they usually did and the blonde tried to mentally prepare himself for a rough ride.

Axel withdrew his fingers quickly and grasped Roxas' hips again. The blonde's mind was in a bit of a flurry as he was forcibly flipped over onto his stomach and pulled to his knees by his hips. He had a brief ' _oh shit_ ' moment before he could feel the redhead spread his cheeks apart. Once Axel's member pressed against his entrance his ' _oh shit_ ' mentality went into a full blown ' _I'm going to die_ ' moment. The Carrier pushed forward and let out a low grunt as Roxas's body resisted against him. The blonde grit his teeth with a pained hiss and gripped the blanket. He let out a yelp when Axel persisted with increasing force. The redhead held himself steady with one arm on either side of his Charge and the limbs shook with the effort to keep himself steady. With a quick thrust forward, Axel easily broke through the blonde's resistance and their hips met with a slap. Roxas squeezed his eyes shut and pulled at the comforter and bit down on the fabric in an effort to not cry out in pain. He had, after all, told Axel that this was okay and couldn't go back on his word now.

The Carrier's body shuddered as his member was clamped down on by his Charge's walls. The sensation set rivulets of pleasure over his entire body. He didn't hesitate very long though and started to move, much to Roxas' chagrin. The amount of force the redhead used on him racked his entire body and shook him horribly. The bed, which was bolted to the ground with a frame of metal quaked right along with them which worried the blonde even more. The burning he had from when Axel forced himself inside compounded with the redhead's bruising actions of his hips and made it difficult to breathe. Roxas held onto the comforter and let out a series of strangled squeaks with each impact. He had a newfound appreciation for Axel's ability to be gentle with him normally, though. He made a silent promise to himself:

No more drugs for Axel after this.

* * *

"Blackberries and raspberries are the most horrible fruits," Cloud snorted and stared at the offending berry that he had impaled on his fork.

"You're a horrible fruit," Leon said flatly as he flicked through his Charge's tablet. Demyx let out a sputtered breath through his lips before bursting into laughter. Sora nearly choked on his glass of water. Riku and Zexion chuckled a bit as well. Cloud, on the other hand, was not amused and sent Leon a glare through the prongs of his utensil. He pointed the loaded weapon at his lover and flicked the berry off the end of the metal and sent it sailing across the table. It bounced off the side of Leon's forehead and the Carrier blinked a few times as it landed directly onto the sentence he was reading on the tablet. He used his palm to wipe the little spot of berry juice off his skin before picking up the fruit and looking at Cloud. "What did this blackberry ever do to you?" he asked.

"It has a shit ton of seeds that get stuck in my teeth. It should know better," Cloud said and stabbed the fork back into his fruit salad.

"You like strawberries though. They have 'shit tons' of seeds too."

"But they're small enough that they don't bother me. Plus, when I eat them for whatever reason it makes you really horny and I find that _hilarious_ ," the blonde said and wiggled a piece of the aforementioned fruit at him that he had found in his salad. Once again, Demyx started laughing along with everyone else. Leon's expression went blank as he glared at his Charge.

"You better hide in the bathroom when we get home if you want your ass to survive the night," Leon threatened.

"Ooo, so scary," Cloud cooed. "I'm truly terrified."

"Be sarcastic if you want but you're the one who's going to have to explain your rectal trauma to the medics. I'm going to wait inside and just repeat 'I told him to stop being a twat but he didn't listen.'"

"…Did you just call me a twat?"

"I may have."

"Say it again. I dare you," Cloud growled and narrowed his eyes on Leon.

"Ooo, so scary. I'm truly terrified," the Carrier mocked. The blonde's murderous gaze on his didn't relent. "What are you going to do? Bitch at me to death?" Leon asked.

"Say what you want old man, I'll get you. I make your meals. Just remember that," Cloud scoffed and stuffed the piece of strawberry in his mouth. Had he had a whole one he might have taunted Leon with it but the effect wasn't the same with just a piece. He made a mental note to stop by the market before they went home.

"That's low. Threatening a man's food," the Carrier snorted and wiped the berry residue off the tablet and resumed reading, setting the actual berry aside. Cloud shrugged.

"You guys are fucking awesome," Demyx twittered.

* * *

It didn't take very long for Axel to finish his onslaught. Between the drugs and the nearly five weeks of abstinence coupled with the eleven days of relentless teasing, the redhead was ready to burst, much like his blonde counterpart. Roxas was extremely happy when the redhead let out a groan and pulled out of him, sending ribbons of white down his back. He wasn't so pleased that he was covered in Axel's…remnants, but he was happy the redhead was finished hurting him. He couldn't tell if he was bleeding or not but he immediately dropped his hips so Axel couldn't take notice if he was. He gingerly scooted himself across the bed and grabbed a sample canister and tossed it behind him. The redhead took a minute to catch his breath before he registered what the blonde needed him to do. He unscrewed the canister and retrieved the little plastic cup and scraped his Charge clean before sealing it all up again.

"Roxas?" Axel asked when he noticed the blonde not moving much.

"Hmm?" Roxas responded and looked behind him over his shoulder. The redhead was still flushed and sweating and it was clear that they weren't nearly finished. His eyes had gone back to their previous state of near-ashamed apprehension but their colors never stopped changing. Everything hurt on the blonde and he just needed a minute to stretch out again and take his notes.

"…I hurt you didn't I?" Axel asked quietly, his brows pushing together sadly. Roxas shook his head in a blatant lie and pushed himself up to a sitting position. He winced inwardly and hoped it didn't show on his face.

"I'm fine," he said and smiled. He reached towards the edge of the bed for his tablet and stylus. He started poking at his report but was interrupted when Axel had his hands on him again. Only, the redhead pulled his hips upward again and spread his cheeks apart to inspect him. Roxas' cheeks flushed bright red and he tried to pull himself away but Axel held him steady. The blonde was abruptly shoved to the side before the redhead pulled him forward again by his arms and squashed him to his chest. Roxas let out a yelp with all the force but calmed quickly when he realized Axel wasn't going for round two.

"I'm so sorry!" Axel cried and gathered the blonde in his entirety into his arms and hugged him close. Roxas tried to pull away so they could make eye contact but the redhead was too strong. He settled for simply hugging him back.

"I'm fine, Axel. I told you not to worry about it," he sighed.

"But you're bleeding…" the Carrier said and pet his hair.

"I'm fine. Really," Roxas insisted. Axel pulled back enough to take the blonde's face in his hands and hold him like he was a piece of delicate china. His mind was a flurry of activity with horrible pictures of his beautiful Roxas writhing in pain underneath him and bleeding because of it. It made his chest hurt and his eyes water with unshed tears. Roxas' lips parted in a slight gape as a cascade of moisture streamed down the redhead's face. "Axel… why are you crying?" he asked.

"Because I hurt you," he said meekly.

"But I told you I was fine. Twice," Roxas said and reached up to comb his fingers through Axel's hair lightly with one hand. The other hand wiped at his face gently. He was sure the drugs were making the Carrier unstable to some degree but he couldn't help but wonder if this was what would be his normal reaction too. Axel had been adamant about not hurting the blonde so it made some sense if it devastated him regardless off the severity. Roxas was sore but he knew he'd recover and be perfectly fine in a couple days. Axel didn't though and abruptly laid his head on the blonde's shoulder and wrapped his arms around his chest tightly. Roxas furrowed his brows sadly and hugged him, rubbing his back reassuringly. He could feel the redhead's silent tears fall over his shoulder and down his chest and he sighed, waiting for it to pass. He could also feel the redhead's hardening member press against his leg and he wondered what the conflicting emotions felt like but wasn't envious.

"Did…" Axel started and trailed to sniffle a bit. He sat upright again and wiped at his face. Roxas batted at his hands and wiped it for him since the redhead was completely disregarding the amount of bacteria he was smearing into his eye. "Did you want to stop?" the redhead tried again. Roxas shook his head.

"No. Are you okay though? Did you want to stop?"

"I want to, but I don't have a choice," Axel sighed and shifted his weight around so Roxas wasn't crushing him quite so much.

"True. We can get a shower though."

"Okay," the redhead agreed. Roxas shuffled himself out of the Carrier's lap and scooted across the bed gently. He picked up another sample canister before heading into the bathroom, walking as evenly as he could. Axel received another pang through his chest when he noticed the small smear of blood on one of the blonde's cheeks but he followed after him obediently anyway.

The Carrier could feel another wave of intense heat under his skin as he waited for Roxas to get the temperature of the water right and step under the spray. Axel followed after him quietly and forcibly kept his hands to himself as he watched Roxas wash his backside gently. The blonde managed to keep his face neutral to betray his discomfort. Once he was finished though he took a couple handfuls of water and wet Axel's member before lathering the soap in his hands and setting it aside. The redhead shuddered when the blonde wrapped soapy fingers around him and squeezed lightly. Roxas stepped out of spray and pulled Axel forward by the back of his neck with one hand. He pressed their lips together roughly. The redhead responded quickly and their tongues met and tangled together as his hands slid around his Charge and held him close. Roxas' other hand began stroking him firmly and the redhead groaned against his mouth. The blonde took the opportunity to not only wash Carrier but to procure another sample from him as well as get himself aroused. Hearing Axel moan and groan at him was a decent aphrodisiac and by the time the redhead sent another spray of white over his stomach and his Charge's hand, Roxas was more than ready to continue back in the bedroom; after another quick cleanup that is.

Axel fell backwards onto the bed with Roxas on top of him. They were both dripping wet still and the air circulating around the room because of the open window chilled them both, regardless of the amount of heat Axel was radiating. The blonde was doing an alright job in ignoring his soreness and focused on Axel's tongue wrapping around his. The redhead forced himself to allow Roxas to do everything, knowing that if his Charge relented and gave him the 'okay' again, he could seriously do some damage. Roxas wasn't about to do that again though; he had learned his lesson. He wiggled his way down the Carrier's body and pushed Axel's legs open so he could settle between them. He scooted forward, pushing the redhead backwards with his thighs so he could grab the bottle of lube again.

Axel's cheeks were pink again as he propped himself up on his elbows and watched Roxas squeeze a generous portion of the substance into his hands. He mimicked the redhead's earlier movements and smeared them both with the oil but neglected Axel's entrance in favor of being able to watch him squirm a bit. The unsure but half-lidded and lustful look the redhead was giving him was too much to pass up and Roxas took the opportunity to grip the Carrier's member and stroke him harshly. Axel's hands immediately flew up and grabbed onto the blonde's shoulders as his back arched and he let out a loud unabashed moan. His body recoiled in reflex and he pulled his legs back towards his chest, his toes curling. As Roxas continued, using both hands too massage his sensitive flesh, Axel's grip tightened on his shoulders. He grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. Roxas' pace quickened and the amount of stimulation was almost painful for the redhead. His layer of sweat renewed itself as his hips bucked lightly involuntarily into Roxas' hands. Another few minutes of ministrations later, Axel's back arched again and he threw his head back in a choked moan as he climaxed. Roxas waited until the redhead's twitching stopped and he relaxed back with a tired sigh before retrieving another sample canister and scraping the redhead clean. The blonde replaced himself between Axel's legs and waited for the Carrier to catch his breath and for the drug to run its course again.

"Getting tired?" Roxas asked and ran his hands over the redhead's thighs gently with a small smile.

"Yeah…" Axel trailed and closed his eyes, reveling in the blonde's touch. He could still feel the drug coursing through his body though, tickling him at the edge of his periphery. "How long have we been at it?" he asked. Roxas looked at his watch.

"Almost an hour and forty-five minutes," he said.

"Oh god. My balls are going to turn to dust," the redhead sighed and mashed his palms into his eyes. Roxas chuckled and moved a hand inward to feel the redhead's scrotum.

"They feel fine to me," he said simply and Axel snorted.

"Okay good." The Carrier pushed himself up on his elbows again and gave his Charge a small smile. "Um…is it your turn then?" he asked quietly, his cheeks pinkening again. Roxas shrugged.

"I would like one, yes. Is that alright?" he asked. The redhead nodded hastily.

"Yeah…I uh," he hesitated and looked off to the side shyly. "I want it," he said and cast the blonde a sideways glance. His skin flushed all over as the drug picked up again, but it also helped that he was embarrassed with himself. For what reason, he had no idea, but he couldn't help it. Roxas smiled and pushed himself up so he could hover over the redhead on all fours. Axel looked up to him and the blonde leaned down for a tender kiss.

"I love you Axel. Tell me if it hurts," the Charge said quietly and looked into the Carrier's prismatic eyes for reassurance. Axel rubbed their noses together briefly.

"I love you too Roxas," he said and wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck and pulled him down for another kiss. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he resisted the urge to force the blonde to begin. He cherished the moment for as long as he could but the drug pushed him too much and he ended up pushing his hips upward and poking the blonde to get his attention to shift to his neediness. Roxas smiled against his lips.

"Well if that wasn't an open invitation I don't know what is," he said.

"Don't tease me, I can't help it," Axel huffed.

"I know," the blonde said and laid one last chase kiss on his lips. "I just hope I don't have to drug you every time if I want to take you from now on."

"It depends on how good you are," the redhead said and pursed his lips with his newfound faux pouty attitude. Roxas raised a brow and grinned.

"I take that as a challenge," he said with a devious glare. Before Axel could open his mouth again for a witty retort Roxas dropped on him and attacked his neck. The blonde went about doing one of his favorite things to do to his partners: giving hickeys. Marking someone made them his, in his opinion and since he had the opportunity to, he set out to give Axel a good one. He pulled at the redhead's skin with his teeth and massaged the spot with his lips and tongue, sucking at the pulse to leave a deep purple bruise. The Carrier let his head fall back, exposing more of his neck and the blonde worked his way down, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. He clamped onto one of the redhead's nipples and pulled at it with his teeth, making Axel gasp and his skin ignite in a flurry of goosebumps. The blonde snaked a hand to other nipple and pinched and tugged at it. Axel picked his head up to watch as Roxas circled the darkened spot of skin with his tongue, giving him a whole series of dirty lustful looks with his eyes. The redhead bit his lip and furrowed his brows.

"Stop teasing me," he said. In response, Roxas grinned and pushed his hips downward, grinding their lengths together and the redhead grit his teeth and sucked in a breath as his eyes fluttered closed.

"That's what I thought," the blonde said huskily and wiggled in between the redhead's legs again. With one hand he groped around and found the bottle of lube again and with the other he massaged the inside of one of the redhead's thighs. Axel sighed and relaxed as much as he could with the touch, anticipating what was going to happen next. "Now, I've never done this with a guy before so you're just going to have to bear with me," Roxas said as he coated his fingers in the slick substance again.

"Okay…" the redhead trailed, not sure what the difference was. Everyone has an ass after all; male or female. He immediately understood though when Roxas leaned down and engulfed his sensitive head in his mouth. The blonde's tongue danced over his skin with the occasional suckle, forcing Axel's abdominal muscles to contract and his breathing to hitch. Roxas had a method. Anal sex was one of the things he enjoyed the most with his previous girlfriends because it was often the tightest place to fuck with zero chance of pregnancy. In order to goad his girlfriends into giving him what he wanted though, he had to train himself to give them something they wanted. So he figured by the time he had traced the entire alphabet and the numbers one through twenty-five over a clitoris with his tongue, they were more than willing to continue. They always were. Now, of course, was a little different and he was mostly using his method to distract the redhead from any discomfort as he pressed a finger inward. He used his free hand to hold Axel's member steady and to keep him from bucking upwards and jabbing him in the throat.

Axel could hardly think. He could barely feel Roxas' fingers inside him and focused on the blonde's tongue which was doing much more interesting things. He grasped the comforter with breakneck force to keep his hands to himself. He desperately wanted to shove the blonde's mouth further down his length and feel it convulse around him but that could end badly. Roxas looked up occasionally at the redhead as he worked his way through the alphabet and could tell he was struggling with his control. The blonde persisted though and was determined to make it a pleasurable experience for him; drugs or no drugs. He was satisfied when he managed to get the third finger in and felt Axel relax a bit around them. He was only on twelve when he finished but he figured there would be another time to complete the cycle. He gave the redhead one last good suck before releasing him and sitting up, his fingers still in place. Axel's entire body was coated in another layer of tense sweat and his cheeks were as red as apples.

"Can you do that again when I'm not whacked out on drugs?" the redhead asked breathlessly. Roxas grinned.

"I suppose I could," the blonde said and scooted his hips forward. He wiggled his fingers apart some and the redhead's face twitched.

"That feels weird," Axel said flatly.

"I know," the blonde said. "Ready?" he asked. The redhead swallowed thickly and nodded some, watching Roxas' hips intently. The blonde used his fingers to open the redhead for himself as he pushed inside, stretching him further. Once he was a couple inches in he pulled his hand away and allowed Axel to close around him. His legs nearly broke off and melted into jelly when the redhead's inner walls clamped onto him. It had been so long since he wasn't on the giving end it was perilously close to feeling like he was losing his virginity again. His heterosexual virginity, that is. He pressed forward, watching Axel's face for any sign of pain. The redhead grit his teeth and tried to accept the new feelings as well as he could. The drugs helped considerably but it was still new and different. Roxas took a minute to calm himself and to let the Carrier adjust. He balanced his weight on one hand and used his other to stroke the redhead's weeping arousal a few times, eliciting a gasp for the body beneath him. Axel grabbed his wrist to stop him and they made eye contact.

"Move," the redhead said and pushed himself up more, letting his hand fall away. Roxas moved his away as well and used it to balance his weight again. They exchanged a few kisses, keeping their faces close as the blonde pulled out some and pushed back in gently, watching Axel's expression. The redhead's breath hitched and he let himself fall back. His legs pulled themselves towards his chest more, lifting his hips in the process and he replaced his hands on the blonde's shoulders. Roxas took that as an open invitation to continue and set out to start a steady rhythm.

"Fuck…" the blonde gasped at the immense tightness and heat surrounding him as he moved. After a few minutes he had to readjust his positioning, pulling his knees in front of him, to give him better leverage and thus, more force. The redhead gripped his shoulders tightly, eliciting a series of pants and light squeaks as his breath caught in his throat. A film of sweat broke out on the blonde's body and he struggled to keep control of himself. A familiar twang of pain shot through his backside though when he started to get too ambitious and it distracted him enough from the pleasure to keep going.

"Ah!" Axel barked and chewed on his lip a bit. One of his hands dropped down between them and he began stroking himself. Roxas knew _that_ gesture all too well and took it as a positive sign. The redhead was close and the edge was just out of reach and he needed a little push. The blonde steadied himself again and picked up the pace; he feverishly pumped into Axel and listened to his grunts and felt them reverberate over his skin. The Carrier threw his head back suddenly as his climax slammed into him. The motion squeezed the blonde to near suffocating degrees and Roxas grit his teeth against it. He slammed into Axel a few more times and released inside him and with shuddering moan. They both stayed in place for several moments, panting at each other and watching the other sweat. Roxas spoke first.

"Okay?" he asked between breaths. Axel nodded a few times and pointed at the side table on the other side of the bed. The minimum requirement of samples that Ansem had set for them was five. They had seven canisters just because they felt like being over achievers but now, Roxas doubted he could continue for three more rounds. He slowly eased out of the redhead and the Carrier grunted in response and let his legs fall back into place. Roxas pulled himself across the bed with watery limbs and tossed a sample canister to him. Axel took a minute to relax but eventually scraped himself clean again.

"Fucking fountain," he muttered in relation to his uncanny ability to produce fifteen gallons of semen at will. Maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but not much of one. Roxas laughed at the comment and scooted towards him again. Axel put the sample canister together again and flopped back onto the bed. His eyes were still going wild and he shifted them up to the blonde.

"Did I hurt you?" Roxas asked. The redhead shook his head.

"No. It wasn't all that bad, actually. I expected it to feel way different. Let's do it again when I can feel it properly instead of having drugs flip my nerves out."

"Sure," the blonde said. Axel smiled.

"You look tired."

"I _am_ tired. It's been a while."

"Yeah well…now I know how you feel," the redhead said and made a disgruntled face and shifted his hips a bit. Roxas laughed.

"If you feel the urge to fart, _don't_. Trust me. It's not a good idea unless you're over the toilet or in the shower," the blonde said. Axel laughed.

"Wow, Roxas. That's a little disgusting."

"Cum farts, Axel. Not a fun time," Roxas chided knowingly.


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59**

Roxas was exhausted. Apparently Axel was more exhausted because after almost seven hours, the redhead's eyes suddenly stopped changing colors and he promptly fell asleep. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing though. The Carrier had good reason to be so tired but Roxas still desperately wanted help cleaning up. The report was filled to completion and all seven sample canisters were in use. The only problem was that the blonde and his lover were completely covered in various forms of bodily fluids and while Roxas could take a shower, he couldn't lift Axel enough to bring him in with him.

The blonde was sore in more ways than one. His back and thighs were aching from so much exertion and his ass was still tender. As he took his time bathing, he let the scalding water relax his muscles for him. After the shower, he rifled through Axel's possessions to find a change of bed linens. He ended up discovering the original white sheets the redhead must have had before he acquired the orange ones. He held the fabric between his hands and looked to the bed with a sigh. Even after being clean, he couldn't lift Axel to change the bed clothes. Setting them aside, Roxas decided to handle his report and take the sample canisters to the lab before he tried anything else.

With an armful of metal tins and his tablet in hand, the blonde wandered down to the lab. He dropped the canisters on and exam table and headed to the Catalogue terminal to hook his tablet into the machine so he could send his report. He let it process and be sent through while he went across the lab to dig through the box that the drug had been sent in. Inside the box, there was a sheet of stickers. He peeled them off and stuck them to the sample canisters to indicate which ones were the ones acquired from the test before putting the canisters in the redhead's storage cylinder. By the time he had finished that, the report had been sent through. He disconnected his tablet and was about to leave when the Catalogue terminal began to ring. He raised a brow and answered. He was presented with an image of Ansem and was about to speak when the man interrupted him.

" _This is an automated message so don't embarrass yourself by talking to me,_ " the man said and smiled. Roxas snorted and listened. " _First off I sincerely thank you for completing the test and if your report is filled out adequately you can expect a team of my subordinates to come to your facility within the week. With them they will bring the equipment needed for the second phase of the test as well as your requested rewards. Don't expect any warning before they show up, just be ready for them. Keep the area around your Gestational Terminal clean for them. Again, I thank you and let us hope for positive results, yes?_ " the man said pleasantly. With that, the transmission was ended. Roxas furrowed his brows a bit trying to think of what the Technicians would bring them but the more he thought about it, the more exciting it was. First things first though. He needed help getting Axel cleaned up. He headed for Demyx and Zexion's lab.

"Demyx," Roxas said when he entered the lab. Zexion was at the Catalogue terminal while Demyx was perched in front of the Link Distribution Center working away. They both looked to him.

"Hi Roxas. I'm surprised you're up and walking!" Demyx twittered and winked. Roxas smiled a bit, his cheeks pinkening even though he tried to hold it back.

"Yeah well…I need your help. Axel fell asleep and he's really gross. I need you to help me get him in the shower so I can change the sheets and get him cleaned up."

"He's that fat, huh?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"Alright, hang on," the sandy blonde said and typed away at the Link Distribution Center for another moment before pushing himself out of the chair and following after the blonde. The walk back to Axel's room was quiet.

"Try to be mature about this please, it smells like tigers and he's totally naked, I'm aware of it already," Roxas said as they hesitated by the door. Demyx puffed out his chest and gave him a lopsided salute.

"Yes sir!" he said and giggled. As Roxas pushed the door open he wondered if he should've gone to ask Leon or Riku for help instead. Demyx snorted and wrinkled his nose but didn't say anything as the musk wafted over them. The phrase 'dead tigers' came to mind but he forcibly kept it to himself. Roxas went to start the shower again and came back quickly.

"I just need you to get him in the water. I can change the sheets really quick while you do that and then I just need you to wait while I clean him up and you can carry him back in here. If that's okay with you," Roxas said.

"I can clean him up," Demyx offered. Roxas shook his head. He wanted to save Axel some pride and didn't know what his reaction would be if he found out Demyx knew what _kind_ of sex they had been having. The sandy blonde shrugged. "Alright," he said. He pranced around the bed to Axel's side and grabbed a limp arm and tugged him closer. "Come on Romeo," Demyx grunted as he hoisted his naked friend upwards bridal style. Roxas resisted the urge to laugh. Even though Demyx was taller than him and much stronger, he was still much smaller in stature compared to Axel and the redhead practically flooded out of his arms like a rag doll.

The sandy blonde trudged off towards the bathroom and eased inside. Roxas was quick to yank the bed clothes off the mattress and ball them up on the floor. Demyx came back out and shooed him away and began redressing the bed. Roxas took the help and made his way into the bathroom again. He disrobed and climbed into the shower with the redhead. It took him over a half an hour to get him mostly clean. The blonde had his doubts as to _how_ clean he really was but at the very least he didn't smell horrible anymore. He just hoped he had paid attention enough to how Axel normally cleaned himself and didn't leave huge infectious gobs of bacteria under his foreskin. He clicked the shower off and stepped out to retrieve a towel. He wrung most of the water out of Axel's hair before attempting to dry him some. It was almost as tiring as trying to get him clean. Afterwards, he waved Demyx back into the bathroom and the sandy blonde hoisted the redhead upwards again and deposited him on the bed again.

"Where are the laundry facilities?" Roxas asked abruptly. That was one mystery he never figured out. Demyx looked to him with a raised brow.

"I can show you," he offered. The blonde nodded and waited for Demyx to tuck Axel in before hefting the ball of bed clothes and leaving with him.

* * *

Roxas was beginning to get worried. It had been two days and Axel hadn't woken up yet. The redhead's room had successfully aired out and everything was falling back into their normal routine without him. At the end of the second day, Roxas was easing himself into bed next to his lover for a night of sleep when Axel decided to wake up. Roxas didn't realize he was awake until the redhead rolled over and curled an arm around his waist, effectively startling him out of his pre-slumber haze.

"Axel?" the blonde asked and looked over his shoulder. The redhead's arm around him tightened in a half hug.

"Hmm?" the Carrier grunted at him. Roxas smiled a bit and shimmied around to face him. He tucked himself under the redhead's chin and pressed up against him. Axel's arms encircled him and the redhead laid a tired kiss in his hair.

"Good morning," the blonde sighed, relieved that their adventures hadn't killed his lover or put him in a coma.

"Mhm…" Axel sighed.

"Tired still?" Roxas asked.

"Hmmng…" the redhead grunted. The blonde chuckled and kissed his chest before closing his eyes and attempting proper sleep.

* * *

Ventus was busy primping himself when his peaceful routine was interrupted by a loud bang from down the hall. There was a raucous voice yelling profanities coupled with loud stomping. As Ventus listened, he thought he could recognize the voice. As it drew closer to his door, his heart sped up. When he realized the profanities and newly accompanied threats were pointed at him, he paled. He quickly skittered out of his bathroom and into his bedroom. Someone's foot collided with his front door and it made him jump. He quickly shoved his Credit card, Credit machine, car keys, and his cell phone in his pocket before practically leaping over his bed and to his window. The windows themselves were old and dilapidated and he had to practically break one in order to get it open.

His hesitation at the window didn't help him because by the time he had an escape route and was on his fire escape, the intruder was in his apartment and had discovered him. Ventus swallowed thickly as he and one of his clients held eye contact for a few brief and nerve racking seconds. Granted, Ventus was already outside and they were staring at each other through the glass but it didn't help the tension especially since the man inside his room was holding a gun.

"You fucking diseased bastard! You've ruined my life!" the man bellowed, training his weapon on the blonde on the other side of the window. Ventus' eyes flew wide and he bolted to the side and out of harms way. His window was blown outward and the bullet ricocheted off the steel fire escape, making him jump yet again. He didn't hesitate though and clambered down the rickety ladders at a clumsy pace. He managed to get down a couple levels before the man was able to wedge himself out of the apartment's window and onto the escape with him. Ventus' blood ran cold and his movements became more frantic. He slipped and fell backwards harshly onto the platform below him, luckily it was only a few steps down.

The man was almost as bad as he was at maneuvering the ladders and Ventus managed to get down another level before the man tried to take a shot again. The blonde yelped as the sound of the bullet bouncing off the grated platforms rocketed down the alley with a thunderous echo. The man's aim was poor at best but the blonde's fight or flight instinct wasn't letting him think very well. By the time he had reached the lowest level and let himself drop onto the pavement, the man was almost directly on top of him. Ventus started running as fast as his legs would carry him down the alley. The man took another shot, chipping the concrete directly to the blonde's left. Ventus' arms flew up and vaguely covered his head in a defensive motion as his adrenaline pushed his legs faster.

Completely disregarding the fact that he had a car, the blonde rounded the corner and deposited himself into the mild hustle and bustle of inner city pedestrian traffic. The day wasn't quite over and it was still technically safe to be out on the street so there were some people walking to wherever they needed to go. Being in such a hysterical hurry, Ventus managed to run into just about everyone. When there was another gunshot to be heard though, many people screamed and spread away from the sidewalk, exposing the speeding blonde to his attacker. Ventus didn't dare to look over his shoulder and kept running. Another gunshot made him scream at the sudden pain in his arm and grasp at the abused limb. He didn't stop to look and kept running.

* * *

Grocery shopping was just about one of the most mundane and boring activities. So, in order to punish himself further for some odd deranged reason, Cloud forced the most boring and mundane person he knew to come along with him. He brought Leon. Normally, the Carrier didn't give a damn what his Charge brought home to eat so long as it didn't give him gastrointestinal distress. So when the blonde decided that he needed company this time around, Leon was less than excited. The market district was wedged in between the shopping district and the part of the neighborhood that housed most of the general public. In order to appear as a couple of regular people, Leon had raided Cloud's closet and stole a pair of proper pants and a shirt as well as a pair of boots. The Carrier didn't like drawing unnecessary attention to himself, like most of his semi-inorganic comrades; even if it meant he had to break the rules to keep himself concealed.

The market district was mostly a series of open stalls and shops that housed fresh produce as well as a small refrigerated section for fish and meat products. Leon was bored out of his skull and milled around a couple of the non-food related stalls, looking at the useless trinkets and shiny things that humans like to have for reasons he didn't understand. There were a few younger girls looking at glass gemstone charms and their accompanying earrings that noticed him. One of the girls nudged her friend and whispered excitedly to her. The friend looked to Leon, blushed, and whispered back to her friend. At his stall, Leon picked up a glass figurine of a lion and gave it a disgruntled face. The tiny fake animal was made from several different colors of glass and glittered with a rainbow of sparkles. It made his gut twist.

"Excuse me," a timid voice came from behind him. Leon set the figure down and looked over his shoulder. There was a frail looking girl looking up at him with wide and adoring eyes.

"Yes?" the Carrier said carefully, keeping his teeth as concealed as he could.

"Um…here," the girl said abruptly with wildly blushing cheeks. She held up a folded slip of paper and Leon turned to take it. He looked at it questioningly for a second but the girl didn't wait for a reaction before skittering back to her friends. He furrowed his brows and watched the girls gossip excitedly to their timid friend. Leon looked to the slip again and opened it. He smiled to himself and stuck the slip in his pocket. The girls watched him walk away from the stall with wide eyes. They darted around a series of people to keep the Carrier in view as Leon wove through the light crowd to find Cloud.

"Asshole," Leon said, knowing the girls weren't too far away. The blonde raised a brow with a bunch of grapes in his hand.

"What?" he asked.

"Some random human girl just gave me her phone number," the Carrier said with a smirk. Cloud snorted before laughing.

"Seriously?" the blonde asked. Leon nodded and dug in his pocket for the little slip of paper. He handed it to his Charge and Cloud looked it over. He laughed again. "Go find her again and invite her over for a threesome," he said. Leon smacked him on the shoulder.

"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed. Cloud handed the phone number back and shrugged.

"Well what else do you want me to say? Good for you? Did you want a gold star or something? You could always go talk to her and have some fun while I toil away deciding if these grapes are good or not," the blonde said and shook to the bunch in his hand at him. Leon furrowed his brows and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked back into the crowd and spied the group of girls in the near distance. When they saw him looking at them they started talking excitedly to each other again. "At the very least go back and let her down gently if you're going to feel bad for not calling her," Cloud said and turned back to his produce stall.

"I'm a little more concerned about them stalking us home. They're still staring at me," Leon said.

"Well stop being pretty and you won't have this problem."

"…I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that."

"Suit yourself," Cloud said and left the current stall in favor of browsing another one. Leon sighed and traipsed off towards the girls. Their excited whispering became more fervent as he drew closer. He approached them as unthreateningly as he could, holding the slip of paper in his hand.

"Hello," he said when the timid girl stepped forward. She looked so incredibly nervous Leon almost could've called her 'cute.' He held out the piece of paper for her and she took it with a dejected look. "I'm sorry. I can't accept this," he said.

"Oh…" she said quietly. Her friends, whom were standing behind her, gaped at him as if he had punched the girl in the nose. "Can I ask why?" she asked. Leon smiled.

"Because I don't think it would be fair of me to give you the idea that I have the intention of calling. I'm taken you see, and quite committed. I'm flattered that you tried though. If I was single I probably would've called because you are quite attractive," he lied. She was plain at best. She gave him a small smile as her cheeks turned rosy again.

"Thanks," she said. Leon smiled again and gave her a light wave before walking off. The girl's friends pounced on her again and their excited jabber echoed after him. He sighed and shook his head as he went to find Cloud again.

Suddenly there was a loud bang that had people ducking for cover and screaming. Leon looked to the source of the sound. Over a few crouched people he could see a large man with a gun training his weapon on Roxas, who was crawling awkwardly across the pavement on an already bleeding arm. People started running when they realized a gun was in the vicinity and Leon bolted towards the man with the weapon without a second thought. He could see Cloud out of the corner of his peripheral vision doing the same thing, only much closer. His Charge reached the man first.

Cloud did a running tackle into the man's sternum, which sent them both sprawling backwards. The man let out a bellowing yell as the wind was knocked from him. His arms flew wide and the gun clattered away out of his grasp. Leon made it to Roxas' side and pulled the blonde into his arms. Cloud was quick to regain control on the situation and pushed off of the man to grab the weapon. The attacker tried to make a grab at his ankle as he ran off but a quick stomp on his fingers gave the message that Cloud was not to be trifled with. When he found the gun, the Charge quickly pulled out the magazine and pocketed it, holding onto the rest of the firearm in his free hand. The man groaned and pushed himself upright. Cloud took the opportunity to bring his leg around and kick him at the base of his skull, effectively knocking the man out.

"Roxas!" Leon cried, rolling the blonde over. He blinked and gaped at the body in his arms. It wasn't Roxas. Ventus looked up at the Carrier with hazy eyes. He let out a breathless laugh.

"Sorry. Not quite," he croaked. His vision was swimming because of his exhaustion and blood loss. His consciousness began to fade in and out. Leon furrowed his brows. Cloud quickly rolled the attacker over and pulled off his shirt to tie around the man's wrists to keep him in place.

"Cloud!" Leon called and the Charge looked to him. "Leave him. This kid has other things to worry about!" he said. Cloud nodded and dropped the gun on the incapacitated man but kept the magazine. He trotted over to his Carrier and looked Ventus over.

"Huh. Weird," the Charge remarked at the other blonde's appearance. Ventus blinked at them groggily. Leon rearranged the smaller blonde so he could lift him easier.

"Come on, let's get him some help," he said. Cloud nodded.

* * *

Axel and Roxas were hard at work again, the redhead having made a full recovery. They were both happy with the results they had acquired and were anxious to move on to the next step. During their work period that day, they exchanged several series' of stupid love stricken looks with one another, filling the air with all manner of cliché romantic notions. The work got done, of course, but it was much more enjoyable when they thought about the potential of the drug and thus, the high probability of expanding their family together much sooner than they had anticipated. They were cleaning up for the day when they received a call on their Catalogue terminal. Axel went to answer and was surprised to find Leon on the other line. Roxas stood behind the redhead and listened.

"Hey there," Axel said. Leon looked less than amused.

"There's been an incident," Leon said flatly and stood straighter. His shirt was covered in a large smear of blood and the background portrayed a mostly empty hospital lobby. Immediately, Axel was concerned.

"What happened? Is Cloud okay?" the redhead asked hastily. Roxas pushed his brows together worriedly.

"He's fine. It appears your prostitute friend did something to get himself in a bit of trouble though. Cloud and I were in the market district when he and some other man decided to barge through the crowd. This… Ventus? He's been shot. We're at the medical facility that's down the street from my home."

"Ventus?" Roxas interjected. "Is that his blood on your shirt?"

"Yes."

"Don't lick it."

"I don't intend to," Leon said. "He asked for you before they took him into surgery though. I can't imagine why."

"Me specifically?" Roxas asked. Leon nodded. The blonde sighed and rubbed his brows.

"What did you want to do?" Axel asked, looking over his shoulder to his lover.

"…I have no idea. It depends on what he wants. We can't do a whole lot for him. I guess it wouldn't hurt if we just went to visit him though, I suppose. When do they expect him to be out of surgery?"

"They didn't say," Leon said. "If you do come down here though, bring me a new shirt, will you? And one for Cloud, too."

* * *

It took an hour and forty five minutes, but Axel and Roxas managed to find the little medical facility. It was getting late and they couldn't stay out very long without the Carrier getting in trouble for violating curfew. Axel handed off two of his own beige shirts to Leon and Cloud when they found the pair sitting in the lobby together. Cloud was completely topless and didn't seem to care all that much. Leon was dressed in his Charge's clothes and the entire scene was a bit off putting. Neither Roxas nor Axel said anything though. It was best not to ask. Leon shoved a shirt into Cloud's hands and the blonde fiddled with it before pulling it over his head. The russet Carrier exchanged shirts quickly on himself.

"Damn, I liked this shirt too," Cloud said as he was handed the bloodied cloth. Leon shrugged.

"Oh well. Hope you didn't like these pants too much either," he said. The Charge sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"I hate shopping," he muttered before balling up the soiled shirt and tossing it in the garbage.

"Where's Ventus?" Roxas asked. Leon pointed to a hallway that went off to the left.

"Third door on the left. As far as I know all they did was sew him up. I don't think the bullet was stuck in him and it missed his bones so he should be fine given enough time. We're leaving though now that you're here," he said. Roxas nodded.

"Alright," the blonde said. Axel waved at the pair and they waved back as they made their way out of the building. The redhead looked to his Charge. Roxas shrugged at him. They headed off down the hall that Leon had pointed out. Roxas knocked on the third door on the left before entering the small recovery room. Ventus was lying on his back, propped up in bed. There were several tubes leading into his right arm as his left one was bandaged up and tied to his chest in a sling. He was pale, sickly, and extremely haggard looking. One of the tubes was hooked up to what looked to be a bag of blood and Roxas cringed a bit. Ventus wiggled his fingers in a light wave and gave them a tired smile.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Why did you call us here?" Roxas asked crankily, getting right to the point.

"I'm fine thanks, how're you?" Ventus shot back with a scowl. Axel nudged Roxas a bit, urging him to be nicer. The Charge's patience was already pushed to its limits and he sighed.

"Sorry," he spat. "What did you need?"

"A huge favor. One of my clients came after me and, obviously, shot me. He said I ruined his life which probably means I gave him the virus. This hospital bill is probably going to wipe out my savings and I won't be able to afford my apartment—"

"Oh no. You're not going to ask me if you can stay with us, are you?" Roxas interrupted with a glare. "What happened to all your other happy clients? Go stay with them."

"…I only have three inside this dome. I can't afford to travel to stay with the others. I can't take the risk of this guy finding me again unless I have a death wish. The other two clients here know him and actually recommended me to him so the probability they know I infected him is really high."

"You don't have any other friends?" Axel asked.

"Not ones that live far enough away from my apartment," Ventus said. Roxas threw his arms up in an exasperated motion with a roll of his eyes.

"Whelp! Looks like you're homeless then," Roxas said angrily and stomped out of the room. Axel gaped at his Charge as he left.

"Roxas!" the redhead said but the blonde ignored him and continued on. Axel sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Sorry. You guys don't have to. I figured I'd try though. I called most everyone else I know and they declined too for various reasons. Your other friends helped me out tremendously and that's really all I can ask. I should be happy with what I have, right?" Ventus asked and gave the redhead a smile. Axel furrowed his brows and looked at the floor.

"I'll talk to him," the Carrier said and exited the room. He ventured out back into the lobby but couldn't find Roxas anywhere. He checked outside and found the Charge leaning against the building with his arms crossed angrily over his chest. Axel went to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't try to convince me to let him stay," Roxas barked automatically.

"Roxas…"

"Stop. It's against the rules, we have nowhere to put him, he's disgusting, and it's his own damn fault he is where he is. Let him rot."

"I thought we were going to use him though," Axel said.

"Yeah, if he can survive long enough for us to help him with the HIV. Apparently, he decided to disregard everything we're offered him and continue on his way down the road to whoreishness so I'm really not all that sympathetic. All he had to do was stay out of our hair long enough for us to convince Ansem it was a good idea and he couldn't even do that much. If he infected his client and the guy came after him, I think it's safe to say that he never told any of them that he was sick. That's irresponsible and from where I come from: illegal."

"Prostitution isn't illegal here, Roxas. Because of that, spreading disease is also legal. We have so many partially synthetic lives running around, everything that is considered natural or organic is legal. Sex is natural. Disease is natural. So people can do whatever they want with one another and it's completely legal. His clients would know the risk going into it."

"And that should change my opinion, why?"

"It doesn't?"

"No. It's still disgusting and irresponsible to me. Why do you give a damn anyway? We have no obligation towards him. All we've offered is out of the idea it would help us but it's not necessary in the long run if it doesn't happen, you know? This little development doesn't mean shit."

"I feel bad," Axel said and shrugged lightly.

"You expect me to accept him just because you pity him? I pity him too, that doesn't mean I'm willing to put my own ass on the line for him and let him invade our space unless it's to our benefit somehow. I see no upside to this. Are you sure all you feel is pity?" Roxas asked and gave the redhead a suspicious glare.

"What are you implying? That I want him for something more?"

"I have a hard time believing that such generosity stems from pity alone."

"I'm insulted," Axel spat and glared at the blonde. Roxas shrugged.

"Prove me wrong then. Why should we let him stay?"

"Because it's a kind thing to do? He's easy enough to hide if we need to and while he's there he can learn the things he'll need if he does become a Charge. If we get approval from Ansem, then we just gave ourselves a head start, yeah? Plus, you heard him. He said the hospital bills would wipe out his savings. If the point of us trying to get him to join us was to give us a jump start, then doesn't it matter that he can't afford to pay for his cure of his HIV? What if he was really close to affording it and now it's all gone? It sort of puts a damper on everything if he up and dies from his disease."

"And what do we tell everyone? He has to come and eat at some point. Even if the other Carriers and Charges don't give a damn, the cafeteria and other staff might. What if someone reports us and the Technicians come to investigate?"

"Then we dump him off somewhere for a day and say that they've been seeing you walking around?" Axel guessed.

"And what if someone on the staff is one of his former clients?"

"No one's confused you for him yet. I don't think that's the case."

"Axel…" Roxas sighed.

"I promise he means nothing like that to me," Axel assured.

"Where are we going to put him?" the blonde asked and rubbed his brows.

"My room? We don't sleep alone anymore anyway so we don't really need two rooms. If we feel like switching we can dump him in the room we aren't using," the redhead suggested.

"You do realize this is an invitation for more chaos, right?"

"Possibly. But then again, it may work out just fine."

"We have Technicians coming to set up equipment sometime this week."

"Like I said, it's easy enough to hide him. They aren't going in the bedrooms, just the lab."

"We have a trip with Riku and Sora coming up."

"An _unconfirmed_ trip. Besides, if he proves useful and competent enough with the process, he can do the work while we're gone."

"…I don't like him."

"I know. But I love you."

"I love you too but that doesn't mean I have to comply."

"But you will because you love me."

"…I know," Roxas said grumpily. Axel grinned.

"You're so nice."

"Shut up."

"Yes dear," the redhead said with a smile. The blonde glared at him for a few moments before he heaved a defeated sigh.

"You owe me," Roxas growled and stomped towards the entrance again.

"I'll suck your dick when we get home," Axel offered and followed after him.

* * *

Luckily, the next afternoon brought the team of Ansem's subordinates to the lab. There were far more people than Roxas felt were necessary but he quickly found out that half of the people were heading down to Sora and Riku's lab to set up the same equipment there. The lab was a flurry of activity as the Technicians went to work setting up several additional gestational tanks and their respective terminals. Axel and Roxas had taken to sharing a chair in the far corner of the room out of the way of their work. The tanks themselves were hooked up to the main Gestational Terminal but were also connected to a smaller station that settled on top of them like a giant mechanized cap.

The Technicians dropped off a series of boxes as well as a bunch of supplementary material that the pair could use for reference if they couldn't understand what they needed to do. Roxas was given an additional program on his tablet as well that acted as a remote progress scanner. He could keep track of whatever was in the gestational tanks from anywhere in the dome just in case something remarkable happened. They were given several additional files of information on their Catalogue terminal that included their instructions, blank reports to fill, and what to expect. After several hours of prep work and copious amounts of activity, the Technicians left with one last parting gift that they handed to Roxas. An envelope.

"Open it," Axel urged, bouncing the blonde in his lap and settled his chin on his shoulder to see. Roxas slid a finger under the paper flap carefully and dug inside the envelope. He produced a Credit card and a laminated strip of paper.

"It's the week pass of societal freedoms," Roxas said with a smile. They had chosen to receive the monetary bonus in one lump sum on the Credit card. After all, if they were going to go out and do things, they needed the money now instead of over the course of the next year. Axel hugged Roxas against his chest and nuzzled his face into the blonde's neck. "It has an expiration date on it. It's good from this coming Sunday through that Saturday."

"That's fine with me. I just like the idea of being able to go on a date with you," Axel grinned. Roxas looked over his shoulder to the redhead.

"Yeah? A date?" he asked and looked at the pass again. He turned it over in his hand a few times, inspecting it. "I suppose that's what we'd be doing isn't it?"

"Exactly. I wonder what Sora and Riku asked for," Axel said. He didn't give Roxas the indication that he cared to ask them just yet though because his hands abandoned their positions at his waist and slid down over his thighs as he began laying several dozen kisses on the side of his neck. Roxas sent him a sideways glance over his shoulder.

"A little excited?" the blonde asked with a light laugh.

"Yes. Not only do I get to go on a date with you, we have the possibility of amassing a whole heap of Carriers now. It's surreal but it makes me very happy," Axel said. Roxas smiled and pushed out of the redhead's lap enough to toss the pass and card on the exam table. He shifted his positioning around so he could face his lover while straddling his legs. Axel rewrapped his arms around the blonde's waist and laced his fingers together in the small of his back. Roxas draped his arms around Axel's neck and combed his fingers through the crimson follicles. He was a little disappointed that the hickey he had left on the Carrier's neck was mostly skewed by his massive amounts of hair but he figured that when everyone else did discover it, that the reactions would more than make up for it. They smiled at each other for a few moments, pressing their foreheads together and rubbing noses gently.

"I just hope that when we bring Ventus here you can hang onto that happiness," Roxas said.

"I'm going to try," Axel said and laid a tender kiss on the blonde's lips.

 _Me too_ , Roxas thought before pulling him in for more.


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter 60**

"Ready?"

"No."

A moment of silence.

"Are you ready now?"

"No."

"Are you ever going to be ready?"

"No."

"Oh. Did you want to not do this?"

"Yes."

"Did you want to tell him to fuck off and die?"

"Yes."

"Let me rephrase. Are you _going_ to tell him to fuck off and die?"

"…No. Damn it," Roxas sighed.

"Okay then, let's go," Axel chuckled.

"He's your responsibility. You have to potty train him and make sure he doesn't rape anyone."

"Yes, you've said as much," the redhead confirmed as he pushed the front door of the facility open. He held the door open for his blonde counterpart and Roxas huffed before stepping outside.

It was yet another sunshine filled day at Dome 813, and all that was missing were the flowers swaying in the breeze and the birds singing overhead and it would've been picturesque. Roxas felt like his life was ending. It was one of the few times in his and Axel's recent past that he seriously considered punching the redhead in the genitals for being so fucking compassionate. The redhead's ability to forgive and forget was akin to Sora's at times and while most of the time it was alright, this time it wasn't quite so much. Roxas was not happy that Ventus was coming to stay with them to say the least. He was fully prepared to emasculate the other blonde as much as possible and keep him under close scrutiny.

Everyone in their immediate social circle knew what they were up to. There were mixed opinions. Leon and Cloud simply gave them dirty looks. Sora thought it was a decent idea while Riku thought they should be incredibly careful. Demyx was excited for the amount of debauchery to be had but Zexion didn't really react. Tifa and Zack thought it was an okay idea so long as they could keep him hidden when he needed to be; they didn't see this issue. Roxas envied their naïveté; if only they knew.

In an effort to keep Ventus hidden away when they needed to, Roxas had taken the liberty of surrendering his room. Axel's previous suggestion of switching around if they cared to became a moot point when Roxas thought about the idea of sleeping in the same bed that Ventus had touched. No, the room was tainted once the older blonde stepped foot in it and Roxas wasn't having any of it after that point. Since he had less stuff to move, the practical decision was for him to cram his belongings into Axel's room versus the redhead carting all of his things down the hall to Roxas'. They managed to make it all fit and rearranged the décor accordingly, leaving Ventus with a blank canvas of white and gray.

"I love you," Axel chimed with a smile when they got a few yards away from the facility.

"I know you do," Roxas said gruffly.

"Do you love me back?"

"Not at the moment. Ask me later," the blonde huffed. The redhead chuckled and patted his hair a few times. Roxas purposefully bent awkwardly and wrapped his arms around the redhead's waist and buried his face into his side. Needless to say his walking pace became a little disjointed as he leaned on the Carrier, putting most of his weight against the redhead's ribcage. Axel smiled and rubbed his back a few times as they continued their trek. Since they knew where the little medical facility was now, their trip was expected to be much shorter than it was a few days prior. When Leon said 'the medical center down the street from my home' what he should've said was 'the medical center three streets down and around a couple of corners' to save the pair over an hour of wandering around aimlessly.

"Did you want me to carry you?" Axel asked.

"No," the blonde huffed again.

"Are you being defiant for the sake of being defiant or are you legitimately wanting the exercise?"

"I'm being defiant," Roxas said. Axel laughed and stopped walking so the blonde could clamber onto his back. The redhead hooked his arms around the blonde's legs and splayed his hands out for him to use as a seat. Once Roxas was firmly planted in his place Axel started jogging. Jogging turned to running after a few yards and the blonde wrapped his arms around the Carrier's chest to hold steady. After a half an hour of alternating speeds, the pair were in the general vicinity of Leon and Cloud's home. Axel slowed to a walking pace to catch his breath and to remember which way to go. Roxas pointed out directions and after another half an hour of walking, they made it to the little medical center that Ventus was staying in.

Roxas, begrudgingly, talked to the lady at the front counter and explained that Ventus was leaving with them. She didn't really seem to care all that much and simply nodded several times at him and typed away at her computer. He vaguely wondered if she even heard him. Axel milled around in the lobby behind him, garnering a few strange looks from the sparse inhabitants of the room. There were a couple Technicians in the lobby with them but they didn't seem to care that they were there; the facility was, after all, in the right part of town for Carriers to frequent. A doctor came out to greet the pair and tell them what Ventus needed during the course of the rest of his recovery which amounted to a whole lot of 'not much' with a side of bed rest. Roxas didn't care anyway. After over twenty minutes of waiting, Ventus was brought out to the lobby and the Charge was thoroughly confused.

"What happened to your sling?" he asked. Ventus' arm looked fine aside from the bandage that was wrapped around the meat of his upper arm near his shoulder.

"It was temporary. I wasn't really shot _through_ the arm so much as I was sliced. I'm missing a piece of it but the muscle is in tact enough for me to not need a sling. Hurts like a bitch though. Hope you don't need me to do any heavy lifting any time soon," Ventus said and gave him a weak smirk. He went to the front desk and began talking to the receptionist about his bill. He patted his pockets a few times before producing his Credit card and the woman swiped it through. Ventus ground his teeth together as three quarters of his savings account was instantly drained away. When he was handed the card back with a bunch of papers, he looked at it all with a sigh. Before Roxas and Axel could say anything, Ventus tossed the papers in the garbage followed by his keys and cell phone.

"Why'd you do that?" Axel asked. Ventus shrugged as he made his way towards the exit. They followed after him.

"The phone died yesterday and I don't have my charger. If I'm not going to do that line of work anymore, I don't really need it anyway. I'm not going back for anything at the apartment either so that means I'm leaving my car too. I don't really have anything else of value. If you don't mind, I would like to stop by the store so I can buy myself some new clothes. After that, you guys can have whatever I have left in my account," the older blonde said as they made their way out into the street.

"What? Why?" Roxas questioned even though his first instinct was to just accept it without another thought.

"Because I know how much you guys are risking by taking me in. It's the least I can do since I don't have much else. I'm serious when I say you guys were my last option and I'm really grateful that you're even giving me the time of day. I thought I had more friends than I really did, but as it turns out, people really don't like a whore to be living with them. I'm a 'need to visit' kind of person apparently. I'll do whatever I can to help you guys out so I can make myself the smallest burden I can be."

* * *

After a short trip to Yuffie's tailor shop, the trio made their way back to the facility. Now that Ventus was able to take his time and look around at the structure, he deemed that the building was incredibly boring. His new room was even more boring. Roxas handed the key over to him but kept the spare just in case. In turn, Ventus handed his Credit card and the little Credit machine they would need to access his account to transfer his funds over to them.

They attempted to give him a tour but after twenty minutes of wandering around, the dirty looks the older blonde was getting from everyone else made things a little too awkward and they settled for sitting around in the lab. Ventus milled around by the Gestational Terminal, taking in the new additions that had appeared since the last time he was there as well as the little bean floating in the original one. She was growing well and was clearly visible now. The older blonde still had no idea he was intended to be her Charge specifically and Roxas didn't feel like elaborating that point just yet. They needed to gauge how much Ventus could adjust.

"What's in all the boxes?" Ventus asked as he wove through the dozen or so brown cubes that had arrived with the additional equipment a couple days prior.

"We haven't gotten that far yet," Roxas said over his shoulder as he read some of the supplementary files the Technicians had uploaded onto the Catalogue terminal.

"I suppose we could look now," Axel said and his Charge nodded. The redhead was quick to pick a box at random and yank the flaps open. It was filled with packing peanuts and stuffing and he began his usual process of flinging it all over the floor to find his prize. Roxas sighed as the tile was carpeted in crunchy bits. The redhead's hands collided with the treasure and he grabbed it, lifting it upwards. Both he and Roxas were startled to find that it was a female Blank.

"They need us to do more Blanks?" Roxas asked. Axel ran his hands over the back of the prosthesis, feeling along the incision in its synthetic skin.

"No, this one already has a Link in it," he said.

"Hang on," the blonde said with furrowed brows as his fingers went to work, typing away at his documents. "This thing says that since the prenatal gestational period is expected to be so quick for the Carriers made from the genetic material we got from the test, that the Technicians took the liberty of putting together Blanks for us that we could use instead of doing it ourselves. All they need is to be put in the Totem Terminal."

"Holy shit, that makes our job easy. I just hope the low level bastards they used to force these things out know what they're doing and we don't have any problems. I'm not so sure I like the idea of not doing it myself because I can't go and double check my work. It's almost a blind faith move with these new ones, you know?" Axel said.

"Yeah. I'm a bit leery," Roxas agreed and started reading again. Axel set the Blank back in its box.

"I wonder what happens if we exceed the number of Blanks we've been given or if we fill the gestational tanks too quickly. Do we get more or is this all we get?" the redhead asked. Roxas' fingers went to work, searching for the answers.

"We get more apparently," he said after a few minutes of searching.

"Damn," Axel said. "I wonder where they're getting the manpower for all this."

"They're probably taking another look at people who applied to be Technicians and didn't make the cut, like me. I know a lot of people that would like to work for the Technicians but they were rejected for one reason or another," Ventus said.

"Plus the amount of Blanks and additional equipment needed is limited to the people who volunteered," Roxas said. "The news feed says that the number of applicants was relatively small since what Xemnas was doing at the quarantine facility came to light. A lot of Carriers and Charges were suspicious and declined the invite to test the drug. Lucky us, right?"

"I'm happy we did. Can we use one of these Blanks for the bean?" Axel asked.

"Bean?" Ventus questioned. The redhead pointed to the tiny fetus growing in the gestational tank. "Oh," he said in recognition.

"I don't see why we can't, but we better wait until we run out of test samples before we count on using one. We don't want to run out of Blanks for the ones that would grow quicker, yeah?" Roxas asked.

"Right," Axel agreed. The redhead thought for a few minutes as the conversation died down. "Wouldn't it be awesome if all of this worked as well as it sounds like it could? I mean if we get ten zygotes out of all of the samples and enough gestational tanks to grow them in, we could be working on cubs in less than fifteen years if everything goes okay."

"I know," the younger blonde said and smiled over his shoulder. Axel smiled back. "As exciting as this all is, today is Saturday," the blonde continued to say. "If we get to work now, we can get your Implant report sent in and do a quick Primal assessment so we have tomorrow free to start using our pass."

"Ooo. You're right," Axel said and grinned. Ventus wanted to question what they meant by all of that but decided against it. He didn't want to push his luck and decided that if it was relevant for him to know, they would've said something to him. He went back to looking around the lab and familiarizing himself with the machines that he read about, still not fully understanding what they were since he didn't know the names. Meanwhile, the redhead pushed himself up onto an exam table and lay down on the metal surface for Roxas to do his thing.

While they worked, Ventus paid them only half of his attention. Axel wasn't his Carrier so he didn't need to know the intimate details of what was going on with his body but the process seemed simple enough. He wandered around the lab, contemplating what his future Carrier would be like. He was still expecting the pair to train him to a certain degree before he was shipped off to another facility to meet another group. He was so in the dark about the fine details he didn't even know what Axel's Totem was even though he knew it was some sort of cat. He knew he would figure it all out eventually.

So far, what he knew was all a matter of public record. The inner workings of the Carrier Project were all on file in the local libraries if anyone cared to notice the literature. The only things that were kept secret were how the machines were made, the specific details like names, and everything that involved the traveling mechanisms the Technicians used. The Project as a whole was outlined clearly enough and gave everyone who read the material a good overview of what it was like to be a part of it all. It was at his previous job at the library that Ventus fell in love with the Carrier Project. He just hoped he could become a part of it before he died. In order to do that, he had to do whatever Roxas and Axel wanted him to do since his life was literally in their hands now.

It was a depressing thought process and Ventus was trying his best to avoid it. He hated being dependent on other people but he felt he had little choice. He wasn't lying when he said Axel and Roxas were his last option. All of his other 'friends' had rejected him outright with excuses of 'I don't have the money to support you' and 'I'm afraid of your HIV' and 'your medical bills would be outrageous.' None of those answers held any merit for him because he had no intention of dumping his financial history on any of them and he didn't plan to bleed on anyone or have sex with them. He just needed a different roof to sleep under. He had enough money to pay his medical bills and buy food for himself but everyone he called took his question as 'I'm hopeless, will you take care of me?' when it was clearly not the case. No one listens to the guy with health problems, regardless of his situation, he found out. He was officially an outcast in his little shabby community, which was saying a lot since it didn't take a whole lot of character to live there in the first place.

Trying to survive by himself had put him in a much deeper hole than what he had originally anticipated. He could accept having HIV because he understood that it was his own fault for choosing his career path. Having the disease was manageable enough and he automatically had a goal of getting better once he found out, which made the process easier to swallow. He could've shut down and let himself slip into a rampant drug or drinking habit to numb the feelings but he chose to take them in stride and move forward. He lived with it for two years already, and was doing well with earning the money to get better. He swore that once he healed himself, he would stop his lifestyle and choose another career. Well, now he was back to where he was even before he got sick and losing all that progress blasted a hole through his ambition.

Before he went to the hospital, Ventus had saved enough money to pay for half of the regimen of pills he would have to take to eradicate his HIV. All of it was gone now. Two years of work and sacrificing his humanity to people who would pay for it was erased in less than four days. Inside, he was crushed. He put on a brave face for Axel and Roxas though, because he wasn't ready to break down just yet. If things fell through with Roxas' plan, he would have to start from the ground up again and that was time he didn't feel he had. It scared him. He would probably be found again and killed before he could cure himself if he had to start over in the same dome. Starting a new career with that risk was out of the question. He would have to start whoring himself again; he couldn't live with the guilt if some coffee shop co-worker was hurt or murdered because his former client stormed the store with a gun looking for him.

"Okay. Outside," Roxas said abruptly, shattering Ventus' thought processes. He hadn't realized it, but he had been standing around thinking for the entire hour Roxas was looking over Axel. The redhead hopped off the exam table and laced his fingers with his Charge's before they headed towards the lab doors. Ventus followed after them quietly, eyes glued to their joined hands.

Enviousness bubbled under his skin. He wanted what they had; a blind happiness together, safe in their little facility bubble. Healthcare, food, clothes, a job, security, money and housing was provided for them and he felt neither of them had a clue as to what the struggles of everyday life were. He was appreciative of their generosity but he knew they couldn't relate to him fully. No one at the facility could, in his mind. He was just as much as an outcast there as he was back at his apartment but at least at the facility, people were a littler nicer about it and didn't have guns. He had to pick his battles.

"Be back in a minute," Axel said and planted a kiss on Roxas' temple when they made it out back to the pool. The redhead walked off towards the towering wall of colorful rocks that made the waterfall, pulling off his shirt as he went. Ventus blinked a few times, not expecting to see the Carrier's back littered with scars. Roxas didn't acknowledge him and poked at his tablet idly, pulling up his blank weekly report. His watch beeped and he quickly silenced it. He left Ventus by the door as he headed towards the pool. He set his tablet to the side and began pulling off his shirt and shoes before he sat on the edge of the shallow end, waiting for Axel to join him. Ventus cautiously went to sit on a nearby rock, looking around the area and taking it all in.

"Whoa," the older blonde said when Axel eventually appeared from around the corner.

"What?" Roxas questioned, looking over his shoulder to him.

"You didn't tell me his Totem was a tiger."

"…Is it a problem?"

"No, just unexpected," Ventus said, watching the cat with glittering eyes.

"Fine," the younger blonde huffed and dug around in his pocket for his earpiece. Axel opened for him willingly and Roxas connected to his Link. The Carrier flopped himself in the water and waited.

Through most of the exam, Roxas was silent. A few times though, Ventus had to raise a brow because the younger blonde would make a face and blush a little before smacking the tiger somewhere to get him to stop saying whatever he was saying. Unbeknownst to Ventus, Axel was telling Roxas all manner of inappropriate suggestions so he could watch the smaller blonde squirm around uncomfortably, knowing he wouldn't say anything in front of the older blonde. The cat acted utterly casual though and even went so far as to begin licking the bottom of one of his front paws idly as he told Roxas _just_ how much he liked his taste and what he planned on doing to him that evening.

"You look like you're going to have a stroke," Ventus remarked after forty-five minutes of watching Roxas act flustered as he tried to do his work.

"I just might," the younger blonde said, prodding the tiger in the face with his stylus to get him to be quiet for three minutes. "Stop it," he ordered.

"What's he saying?"

"Things I would rather not share with you."

"Oh. You can just take the earpiece off."

"I suppose I could but I sort of like it," Roxas said and picked up Axel's back foot to spread his toes apart and check the webbing between them. The tiger flexed the appendage and splayed his squishy pads apart as far as they would go for him. Ventus was amazed when half of Roxas' hand disappeared as the Charge pressed his fingers in the foot to feel the bones behind the tufts of fur. Axel relaxed his toes back into place, encasing the younger blonde's digits in their furry dungeon. Roxas attempted to pull his hand away but the Carrier curled his foot up, squeezing him further and keeping the hand in place. The Charge sighed and started to wiggle his fingers, lightly ruffling the strands of fur around them. Axel jolted his foot away when a barrage of tickling sensations flew up his spine, releasing Roxas' hand. The cat flexed his foot a few times, willing the annoying sensations to go away and kicked at the water to wash them away further, whining into the earpiece all the while. Roxas smirked, feeling satisfied with himself, as he made notes on his tablet. Ventus watched the exchange with a raised brow.

"And you just know how everything is supposed to feel on him?" Ventus asked abruptly. Roxas nodded and poked Axel in the nose. The Carrier opened for him and the Charge disconnected the earpiece. The cat pulled his hulking frame up from the water and walked a few inches away. Instinctively, Roxas raised his tablet up to block out his face as Axel shook his entire body, flinging water in all directions, most of it landing on Roxas. The younger blonde sighed a bit as he waited for the Carrier to finish. Axel walked out of the pool calmly after that and back around the waterfall to change back.

"It took me a while and I did a lot of studying, but I know it all now," Roxas said as he finished typing on his tablet. He eventually set the device aside and stood to wring the water from the bottoms of the legs of his shorts. "Some of the newer things we've come across in the lab are still a little hazy but stuff about Axel? Easy," he said.

"It seems like a lot," Ventus said.

"It is but you get used to it. We're practically hermits up here if you think about it. We don't have anything else to do aside from what our work dictates and what we can do with each other. But the thing about Technicians making Blanks now frees up tons of time and we can get some of the stuff we've been neglecting done since we only have to focus on finishing the one we've started."

"Neglecting?"

"Some personal stuff and some minor work things. Cleaning, mostly. The back storage room needs an overhaul. Demyx destroyed it and we haven't touched it since."

"…I was actually there for that," Ventus said, remembering the sandy blonde's excursion into the closet and the stuffed Tigger that came flying out while he was inside.

"Then you know what I mean," Roxas said and pulled his shirt back over his head. Axel came back around the rocks and spied his Charge being preoccupied by his conversation. Mischievous thoughts went through his mind and he tip toed across the grass towards him. He had to hurry before Roxas put his shoes on.

"Are your friends upset that I'm here?" Ventus asked, his gaze flicking to the sneaking redhead for a brief second but he ignored it. Roxas shrugged.

"Mixed opinions. I would stay away from Leon and Cloud if you can. They were the least favorable," the Charge said.

"Leon and Cloud are the ones that helped me, right?"

"Right."

"I never got a chance to thank them properly."

"Well you should probably do that, _then_ stay away from th— _eeeem_!" Roxas yelled as he was hoisted upwards by his armpits suddenly. Axel laughed and held the young blonde over his head easily and trekked towards the deep end of the pool. The Charge was quick to notice where they were going and began to struggle. "Axel I swear to fucking god if you thr—"

_Splash!_

"Oops," the redhead said innocently. Ventus snorted before laughing. Roxas resurfaced in the pool a few seconds later with the sourest expression Axel had ever seen on him. The Carrier had to bite his lip to hold back his sudden urge to burst into laughter.

"Bastard," Roxas spat with acid practically dripping from his mouth. Axel grinned.

"I didn't know your hair could lay that flat," the redhead said. He eased down to the grass before shuffling himself in the water with his Charge. He paddled closer to Roxas and smiled. "Better? I'm in too."

"No. When you have to suffer through the feeling of wet boxers shoved up your ass in the most horrible wedgie you've ever experienced, then you will know my pain," Roxas growled and swam away towards the shallow end. Axel laughed.

"Roxas," the redhead called when he got several feet away.

"What?" the blonde spat grumpily and turned to look at him again. He was met with a faceful of water as Axel splashed him without warning. Ventus started laughing again.

"Dude! I could see that coming from a mile away!" he cried and held his sides. Roxas spit out a mouthful of water and turned glaring eyes to him.

"I don't want to hear anything from the peanut gallery," Roxas said and pointed a threatening finger. Axel swam up behind him and wrapped his arms around the smaller blonde's waist. Roxas froze. He expected Axel to push him under the water but the redhead proved him wrong and simply hugged him for a few minutes. It was a short lived peace because the Carrier chuckled lowly before sliding his hands down and giving the blonde a firm grope. Roxas jumped a bit and Axel laughed before pushing away and paddling towards the shallow end. Ventus couldn't tell what the redhead did exactly but from the color on Roxas' face, he could make a fair assumption.

* * *

"If I gave you a hand job would you put on a skirt and dance around for me?" Leon asked; completely out of nowhere and with a slightly bored sounding monotone. Cloud's hands on the Extractor's controls froze, leaving the slicing mechanism in place for too long and obliterating what he was working on. He shut the machine off and turned to the Carrier, who had apparently asked the question over his shoulder because his back was to him.

"Can I ask why before I give you an answer?" Cloud asked with a confused expression. Leon looked over his shoulder at the blonde and shrugged.

"I don't know. Entertainment value?"

"Are you on something?"

"No."

"Just making sure."

"Will you?"

"Of course not."

"Okay," Leon said and turned back to what he was reading on the Catalogue terminal. Cloud furrowed his brows and gave his lover a skeptical look before turning back to the Extractor. He glanced over his shoulder a few times, waiting for the Carrier to say something else. When he didn't, Cloud considered asking what the hell was up. He heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head before going back to work.

* * *

Demyx, being the immature horny bastard that he was, couldn't stop his giggles when Ventus joined their table for dinner that evening. It wasn't so much the idea of the older blonde eating that was funny but their chosen seating arrangement. Axel sat between Roxas and Ventus and the sandy blonde just couldn't control himself. He flopped over into Zexion's lap and buried his face into his Charge's thigh, laughing like mad. Zexion was unperturbed and continued eating like nothing happened. Ventus gave them both suspicious looks as he began eating as quietly as he could. The cafeteria food most certainly wasn't home cooking but he figured he couldn't be choosy. Axel looked to each blonde in turn before picking up on what Demyx was laughing about and kicked his friend's shin under the table.

"Stop it," the redhead growled. Demyx continued his jovial noise despite the order.

"What's so funny?" Sora asked stupidly. Roxas shrugged.

"I have no idea, don't worry about it," the older sibling said, genuinely confused by Demyx's laughter as well. The sandy blonde sat up again and wiped at his eyes.

"Roxas…" he trailed as his giggles failed to cease long enough for him to finish his sentence. Axel narrowed his eyes on his friend.

"Demyx I swear if you say it I will castra—"

"Roxas sandwich!" Demyx cried and abruptly slammed his folded arms on the table and laid his forehead on them, his shoulders shaking from his uproarious laughter. Axel slammed his fist on the table and stood. The sandy blonde didn't pay him any attention. The redhead glared at his friend and stalked around the table. He grabbed Demyx by the back of his hair and wrenched him out of his seat. The sandy blonde let out a squeal as he was dragged away towards the entrance of the cafeteria and out into the hallway. Ventus stared at the scene with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open slightly. Everyone else failed to react and he couldn't understand why.

"What just happened?" the older blonde asked and looked to Roxas. The younger blonde shrugged.

"Demyx says stupid things, Axel gets angry, Demyx gets beat up, and then they come back."

"He deserves it," Zexion added, Riku nodded in agreement. Sora sighed.

"I have such violent friends," the brunette said.

" _Zexiooon!_ " Demyx squealed from the hallway before there was a loud thud. Zexion sighed and pushed himself out of his seat and walked towards the doorway calmly. Before he could get to there though, there was another loud thud followed by a smack. Zexion hesitated for a moment. He continued to the doorway and looked out into the hall. He shook his head and reentered the cafeteria and went to take his seat again.

"I don't have any sympathy," he said solemnly as he resumed eating.

* * *

Ventus sighed as he closed his new bedroom's door quietly behind him. After dinner, Axel and Roxas weren't doing anything they felt he could be involved with so they told him to rest up and take it easy. Easier said than done, in Ventus' opinion. It wasn't so much the idea of sleeping by himself that was unsettling, but being by himself with his thoughts. He hadn't expected the transition to his new life to be so sudden and so hard to take in. Everyone he had socialized with that day seemed nice enough and they didn't make things overly complicated or nerve racking, which almost made things worse in some ways. He felt out of place, and rightfully so.

His arm hurt. It hurt a lot. He had refused the prescription for pain medication the hospital had tried to get him to take. It wasn't necessary for his survival and therefore he had no intention of spending the extra money. He had accepted the antibiotics though. He needed those. He started to disrobe and toss his clothing on the floor, pulling the little bottle of pills out of his pants pocket as he did so. The room itself was barren save for a few basic toiletries in the bathroom and a couple of beige outfits in the armoire. Ventus had to stick his face in the sink almost under the faucet to get a gulp of water so he could take his pill.

He was drained. By the time his head hit the pillow, he was almost asleep. His frantic mind wasn't helping things though and he lay there, staring at the window and willing the thoughts of death and disappointment to go away. They didn't of course. He attempted to convince himself that all he would have to do was just work really hard to prove to Roxas and Axel, as well as the Committee that he was good enough to do what he wanted to do. He was relatively confident he could learn everything; it was more the process of changing people's judgmental minds that was the bigger task.

* * *

The clothing went flying as soon as the door closed and locked behind them. Roxas toppled backwards onto his and Axel's bed with the redhead himself attached to him by the lips. The sexual tension between them was staggering ever since the Carrier spouted his raunchy intentions to the blonde at the pool earlier that day. The mental imagery of all that was implied coupled with Axel grabbing on him earlier meant Roxas was more then tempted to rip his lover apart in a fit of passionate lovemaking that left them both sore in the morning. Everything probably would've happened much sooner if Ventus hadn't been around to peep on them, but they were determined to make the wait worth it even though neither of them said anything.

"Wait," Roxas gasped suddenly when he thought he heard something. Axel's tongue on his neck and the hands massaging the blonde's scrotum froze. The redhead lifted his face to make eye contact.

"What is it?" he asked. Roxas shushed him and waved a hand.

"Do you hear that?" he asked and Axel strained an ear to listen. It was coming from the floor. The redhead looked under his arm, down between the line of their bodies to the pile of clothes scattered near the door. He left his Charge on the bed to rifle through them. Roxas' tablet was beeping erratically and he furrowed his brows and handed the device over.

"Shit," the blonde swore as he clicked the device and noticed it was an alert coming from the new program the Technicians had given him. Something was wrong with the Gestational Terminal which meant…

…something was wrong with their Carrier.


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61**

Axel didn't know Roxas could run that fast. Consequentially, he also didn't know Roxas could run that fast in his boxers. He was thankful his Charge was modest enough with his choice in underwear to get the kind with the button in the front otherwise there would've been a whole mess of awkward happening during their frantic scamper through the facility to get to the lab. Halfway down the hall though, the beeping on Roxas' tablet stopped. Neither of them noticed though until they reached the doors of the lab. Axel got there first of course, and stopped dead in his tracks when he took a brief look through the lab door's window. Roxas nearly crashed into him.

"What the hell are you waiting for? Get out of the way!" Roxas barked and tried to shove past him. Axel's hand on his shoulder stopped him. The blonde resisted but the redhead held him in place, his eyes frozen on the figure in the lab.

"Look," he urged and pointed through the window. Roxas did as he was told and he gasped before trying to pull away with more fervor.

"Let go! He's killing her!" he yelled.

"No. He isn't! Look at the light," Axel said. Roxas furrowed his brows and scanned the gestational tank. On the top console of the glass tube there was an alarm system and the mechanics used to dispense nutrients into the liquid below as well as a series of sensors. On the console itself though was a light that went from green to yellow to red. Green meant everything was okay, yellow meant that the problems were being worked on, and red meant there was an issue. The light was currently on yellow as Ventus' arms moved with his typing. Had the older blonde been doing something that wasn't involved in fixing the problem, then the alarm would still be going off and the light would be red.

"I bet he did something and started it!" Roxas barked with a malicious glare to the redhead who was holding him back. "How did he even know the alarm was going off?"

"Your bedroom is at the end of the hall, Roxas. It would be hard _not_ to hear it," Axel said. Roxas gaped at him as he let the words sink in. It was true. "Come on. Let's see what the problem is. Don't rip his head off," the redhead continued and laid a gentle kiss on the blonde's forehead before easing the doors open with one hand.

Ventus was typing, but it was an uneasy careful typing. It was incredibly slow as he didn't fully know what he was doing but the Gestational Terminal was making things far easier than he thought. The levels of nutrients had dropped suddenly for some reason and the levels showed on the screen. The ones that were too low blinked and all he had to do was select one, and raise it up little by little until it stopped blinking. He was hoping he was buying some time for Axel and Roxas to get there. The alarm had scared him out of his skin and he skittered over to the Gestational Terminal without much thought. It wasn't until he got there that he realized he had no idea what he was doing but when he looked to the interface, he noticed it was feasible enough. At least for a few moments.

"What happened?" Roxas asked venomously, giving Ventus' back a hard glare. The other blonde startled and looked over his shoulder. All of them were topless but it was only Roxas who wasn't wearing proper pants.

"I don't know what started it but I heard the alarm and ran over here and did what I could figure out," Ventus responded. He had a crease indented into his face that looked suspiciously like the stitching of a pillow as well as a series of crinkling indents on his chest from his blanket. He hadn't been out of his room very long. Axel smiled and bypassed him and went to the terminal. Ventus backed away and gave him some room. Roxas narrowed his eyes on the older blonde, still suspicious of his actions.

"Go back to your room, we're here now," Roxas spat. Axel sighed a bit as he started typing away at the terminal. Ventus nodded a few times before quietly taking his leave. The doors swung closed gently behind him, leaving the pair to themselves.

"He didn't do anything wrong," the redhead said. "The bean transitioned from three months old to four months old and the computer didn't adjust the levels of nutrients before it scanned her. It was just a computer error, Roxas. One that was hardly a big deal."

"How did he know it was _our_ lab and not someone else's though?" Roxas asked crankily.

"Maybe when he heard it, he thought it was ours without even thinking about it. I bet of it had been someone else's he would've run down here anyway. He saved his own Carrier though. Had the terminal not scanned her when it did it probably wouldn't have caught its mistake. She would've been dead by morning. A couple hours would be fine but not all night," Axel said.

"It still bothers me. How did he know what the alarm sounds like?" the blonde persisted.

"Because I was here looking at her a few minutes before the alarm went off," Ventus interrupted abruptly. Roxas whirled around with wide eyes. "Sorry. I was eavesdropping even though my mommy always told me not to. I knew you would blame me so I waited for it. I couldn't sleep no matter how long I lay there so I came here. Just for a look. Sorry if I broke some sort of unwritten rule."

"No rules about it. Looking isn't bad," Axel said before Roxas could open his mouth again. The light above the bean's gestational tank turned green and he finished typing. He turned to look at the two blondes.

"What did you mean by 'his own Carrier'?" Ventus questioned, looking to the redhead. "Were you guys making one specifically for me?"

"No," Roxas blurted. Axel sighed.

"When we figured out you were compatible with both of us to a certain degree, Roxas came up with the idea of making you her Charge," Axel said and pointed to the gestational tank. "When I was first picking out my Charge I only had three choices and the waiting period I had with all of them was at least seventy-five years. The idea was that we would avoid the monstrous waiting period if it was going to be a trend with all of my kind, so we decided to try and bring you in with the idea you would be compatible enough with her and we could get started right away once she matures. If she chooses you that is."

"We're waiting for Ansem to reply to my proposition though. So we may not be able to do even that much. I wasn't going to say anything that detailed until we had confirmation, just in case it all falls through," Roxas said carefully.

"Ho—Wha—You don't even like me. Why would you even consider something like this?" Ventus sputtered, completely dumbfounded.

"Because I love Axel. I know how much it hurts him to be by himself so I'm willing to take everything I can in order to get this project off the ground. You're right though. I _really_ don't like you, but Axel doesn't seem to mind you so I can at least attempt to put up with you for the sake of getting started sooner rather than later. If Ansem says everything is okay, then I had planned on ripping into you and telling you all of my expectations and demands that you would have to conform to if you really wanted to be a Charge. Especially if I was going to offer you my daughter," Roxas said. Axel blinked at him a few times as did Ventus.

"I don't know what to say…" the older blonde said as he gaped at the younger. Roxas shrugged and hugged his tablet to his chest.

"Like I said, I can't guarantee anything. Ansem could shoot down my idea, she could reject you, or you could do something really stupid to piss me off enough to throw you out. We won't know for a while yet."

"Right," Ventus agreed. He chewed on his knuckle in thought. There was so much to process and all it made his skin tingle with excitement. He stared off the side blankly for a few minutes only to be drawn back to Roxas when he heard the younger blonde drop his tablet onto the floor. Axel had swooped in and crushed their mouths together. Roxas squeaked and stared at the redhead with wide eyes. The Carrier pulled back abruptly, grinning from ear to ear.

"You're so stupid," Axel laughed. Roxas' brows immediately fell into a scowl.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm not by myself anymore. You're here," the redhead said, his grin spreading to near painful proportions.

"I…" Roxas started before the words cut off and he couldn't think of any more to say. His cheeks turned a deep pink which made Axel laugh again. The Carrier straightened and pulled his Charge to his chest and squashed his face into his skin. The redhead laid his cheek against the blonde's hair and squeezed him tightly. Roxas let out a grunt from the force.

"Stupid naïve Roxas," Axel cooed and rubbed his face against the flaxen locks with a smile. Roxas huffed. "Go ahead and try to get some sleep, Ventus. I have to take Roxas back to our room and do horrible dirty things to him," the redhead continued, forcing his Charge's cheeks to darken further. Ventus laughed and waved a hand.

"Alright then," he said and took his leave again. When the doors swung shut again, Axel took Roxas' face in his hands and gave him a smile.

"Back to bed," the redhead ordered pleasantly. Roxas opened his mouth to say something but Axel clamped a hand over his lips to keep his quiet. "I said, back to bed," he repeated. Roxas let out a defeated sigh and bent to pick his tablet up. Axel gave him a devious grin and slapped his rump harshly. Roxas jumped and looked at him with a glare and two sets of pink cheeks. Axel laughed. "Hurry up before I tackle you and take you in the hallway," he urged. Roxas' eyes widened a bit with the mental imagery and he hurried off towards the doors. Axel laughed and chased after him.

* * *

Demyx hummed happily as he brushed his teeth vigorously, ridding himself of his acidic morning breath before Zexion came in the bathroom to use the shower, as was their routine every morning. Today was Sunday and that meant he could spend the day lazing around in the grass with his Charge and playing with his siblings. Sundays were always the best days, in Demyx's opinion. He didn't bother bathing in the mornings on Sundays because any smelly synthetic skin would fall away in a couple hours anyway so it was a waste of soap and shampoo. Zexion couldn't do that though, so after Demyx finished brushing his teeth he surrendered the bathroom to his lover and went to sprawl out all over the bed again, completely naked.

Zexion was always good about ignoring Demyx when the sandy blonde was trying to distract him from his daily routine by being cute. On the few occasions that Zexion had reached the bathroom first and had time to wait for Demyx to get cleaned up, the Charge had mimicked his antics and was able to pull the sunshine filled Carrier away from his morning ritual fairly easily. This morning though, was like most mornings and Demyx was forced to wait for his Charge in the bedroom, thinking of new ways to pull Zexion's attention to him.

When Zexion emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and his damp hair a complete mess, he automatically went to his armoire to find a clean pair of underwear and a pair of pants. He pulled open the drawer and froze. All of his underwear was missing. He furrowed his brows and stared at the empty compartment for a moment. That's when he heard Demyx giggle. He looked to the bed and was presented with a view of his Carrier sitting on the disheveled comforter with his lower lip stuck out as far as it would go, his eyes as big as dinner plates and glistening with unshed dramatic tears, and his arms outstretched towards him with his hands making nonsensical grabbing motions in the air, beckoning him closer. Behind him was a pile of underwear.

"Dem," Zexion stated flatly with unfazed eyes. Demyx responded with a quivering chin and a loud sniffle.

"Two minutes?" the sandy blonde asked weakly. Zexion stared at him with a stony expression for a moment before letting out an exasperated sigh and coming closer. Immediately, the act dropped away and Demyx giggled happily as his Charge crawled into the bed with him again. The sandy blonde lay back as Zexion settled between his legs and lay on top of him for a cuddle. Demyx combed his fingers through the steely hair and rubbed the damp strands between his fingers.

The Carrier hated waking up simply because he didn't like getting out of bed and disrupting cuddle time. Until they were both out of the room and heading to breakfast, Demyx pestered his Charge for another two, five, ten, twenty minutes of hugging. Zexion didn't mind, but he was also incredibly practical and knew he couldn't oblige his lover too often otherwise nothing would get done. Usually, if Demyx asked for two minutes and Zexion gave in, the Charge knew they wouldn't be done for another hour. Possibly two. This time though he paid attention to the clock and pushed himself up when Demyx's requested two minutes were up. The Carrier pouted of course but the Charge gave him a light kiss on his nose before reaching over to the pile of underwear and grabbing a pair.

"Put those back, will you?" Zexion requested as he scooted off the bed and pulled his tighty whities on, discarding his towel in the process. Demyx grinned and picked up a pair of the undergarments and stretched the elastic band between his fingers and let one end go, flinging the fabric across the room. They sailed through the air at a gentle speed and flopped into the open drawer. Demyx raised his hands above his head.

"Score!" he squealed with a grin and reached for another pair. Zexion shook his head with a small smile and went to find a pair of pants. After getting dressed, he tossed Demyx his t-shirt and shorts and the Carrier sighed dramatically as he pulled the offensive fabric on. He also disliked clothing. Regardless, he listened to his Charge and did as he was told. He picked up the remaining armful of undergarments and deposited them back into the armoire before closing the drawer and following Zexion out of the bedroom.

Breakfast was boring. Only Riku and Sora were to be seen anywhere near their usual table and even then, they were leaving. So Zexion and Demyx said their brief hello's and goodbye's before taking their seats and eating peacefully, one hand from each laced together under the table as per the routine. Demyx always finished his meal first and he leaned his face on Zexion's shoulder and waited for him to finish. When they were both ready, they headed out back to the obstacle course to meet Demyx's siblings. Demyx's two sisters and his brother were already in their Primal forms and milling around on the rock outcroppings with their Charges. Zexion handed the fidgeting Carrier his Signet and Demyx excitedly faceted it to his ear and initiated his change code.

Demyx took off like a bolt of lightning though the obstacle course as soon as his clothing was pulled off of him and his change sequence finished. His brother met him halfway and they tackled into each other, tumbling to the ground in a furry pile of teeth and claws. They smacked and nipped at each other playfully, pulling at each other's fur before scampering away and starting the process all over again. Zexion watched with a smile as they wrestled around and exhausted each other, waiting for Demyx to plop into the grass so they could do their weekly check-up.

* * *

Cloud hit puberty when he was fourteen years old, as most human boys tend to do around that age. Ever since then, he's hated shaving. After doing it for one hundred and forty-one years, one might have thought the rebellious facial hairs would have gotten the hint and simply stopped growing. Surely after being decapitated every few days for so long, they'd have gotten tired of it by now, right? Wrong. Cloud vaguely wondered how long it took people to evolve for the hairs on the undersides of their arms to stop growing naturally. Or the backs of their knees. He then wondered if he would live long enough to force his facial hair to stop growing. His thoughts were broken though when a sensation around his midsection startled and forced him to drop his razor into the sink below him leaving half of his face and neck covered in shaving cream.

"Yes?" he asked grumpily as he looked down and noticed Leon's hands pressed against his chest. The Carrier didn't answer for a brief moment and Cloud was going to ask again but he stopped himself when Leon leaned on him and rested his face between his shoulder blades, hugging him around the chest. The blonde blinked a few times and furrowed his brows. He craned his neck to look over his shoulder but could only see the top of Leon's head. "What's wrong?" he asked. Leon didn't respond but gave him a firm squeeze before releasing him and patting his back a few times as he made his way over to the shower. Cloud watched him click the showerhead on and test the water before stepping inside, attempting to read his lover's subtle body language.

Something was wrong, but the blonde couldn't pick up on what it was exactly. He retrieved his razor from the sink and finished shaving and wiped his face clean. He had already taken his shower for the day but he abandoned his pajama pants in order to force his way into the shower with Leon anyway. The Carrier stared at him with a raised brow and a disgruntled look but the blonde was unfazed and stared back at him with scrutinizing eyes. Leon blinked a few times and reached a hand up to run a finger over the scar on his face, rubbing it lightly. Cloud's hard expression fell immediately and he grabbed Leon's face between his palms and pulled the Carrier's face forward so he could lay a gentle kiss between his brows. Leon sighed.

"See, this is why I didn't say anything. You get all uppity about it," the Carrier chastised.

"But—" Cloud started.

"Stop. It's just sore. Get over it," Leon ordered and gave him a glare through the dripping pieces of his hair. Cloud glared right back at him.

"You going to be alright today?" he asked. Leon nodded.

"I'll be fine. We waited four weeks. It should be enough. Now either wash my back or start my breakfast. Either way, you're fat ass is taking up too much space."

"Are you sure it isn't your enormous ego and all the hot air you spit that's making it feel close in here?" Cloud retorted.

"No, I'm pretty sure you just need to work out. Pick one. I'm trying to shower."

"Fine," the blonde said and took up the bar of soap. "Turn around."

"Where have I heard _that_ before?" Leon chuckled but did as he was told. As Cloud's soapy hands glided over his back and the attempted jovial atmosphere drained away. The scar on the Carrier's face was a sensitive subject for both parties involved and Leon regretted saying anything, as slight as it may have been. Cloud respected his request though and didn't bring it up again.

After the shower, breakfast was next, followed by the ever present battle for the sink when the teeth needed to be brushed. Leon won, as he usually did, with a threatening shake of his lathered toothbrush and a light glare. Cloud let him believe he had won because of his cranky display but in reality he was hurting inside and watched Leon's scar the entire time the Carrier used the sink to finish brushing his teeth. He didn't even notice it anymore except on days he caught his lover rubbing it. Leon would do it absently simply because the stupid mark hurt for whatever reason, not because he wanted to make Cloud feel bad. The rest of the scars on him didn't hurt, just the one on his face, the only one that mattered. The memories associated with it were painful.

The ride to the facility was quiet, as it usually was. The pair made their way to their lab in silence and Cloud dug around amongst their things for his forgotten earpiece and his tablet. He was nervous to a certain degree and hoped that everything went well today. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let Leon change and his skull cracked again and his brain started to hemorrhage. They had talked to Zexion the day before and knew he and Demyx would be at the obstacle course today. Cloud had asked for his assistance just in case something went wrong and Zexion had agreed without hesitation.

They passed Demyx's brother coming inside from the obstacle course and they greeted him with a light wave as they passed on their way out. The area outside was empty save for Demyx and Zexion of course, true to their word. Zexion looked over his shoulder to them and waved his greeting. They waved back to him in recognition and the steely-haired charge's hand fell back and resumed rubbing Demyx's ear. Leon, like most Carriers, didn't have a lot of modesty when it came to preparing himself for his change. Which amounted to disrobing and standing around in the buff for a few minutes before Cloud was ready for him to initiate his change sequence.

"Xigbar please! Reconsider!" squealed a frantic female voice from a near distance. All four heads present whipped to the small path in the grass that descended the hill and lead to the canine facility. It was rarely used and when it was, it was usually when someone needed supplies right away and couldn't wait for the biweekly delivery. The nature of this visit didn't seem friendly as an enormous grey wolf crested the hill, his body riddled with scars with his nose to the ground. Behind him scampered his Charge, a small girl with wavy black hair and big brown eyes surrounded in adorable cherub-like features. Demyx recognized Mary immediately and was on his feet, pulling Xigbar's attention to him. The tension in the air rose tenfold when the rest of Xigbar's pack trickled in behind him.

"Cloud," Leon stated, forcing his Charge's attention away from the group of wolves. "Force me."

"Are you fucking insane?" the blonde gasped.

"Do it! Xigbar doesn't come by with his pack for a meet and greet!" Leon barked at him with a strong glower, his voice an irritated whisper. Mary fell to her knees in front of the alpha wolf.

"Xigbar! He didn't mean it! Please! Stop this!" she pleaded and burst into tears.

"Cloud!" Leon urged and gave him and firm nudge.

"I can't! What about your incision?" Cloud protested. His Carrier made a grab for his tablet but the blonde pulled it away. Xigbar's pack began to spread over the grass, encasing Demyx and Zexion in a semi-circle of gray fur and teeth. Leon reared back and punched Cloud in the gut, causing the Charge to double over with a loud cough. He snatched the tablet away and started flicking away at the applications. "Stop!" Cloud yelped but it was too late. Leon entered his model number into the device and clicked the accept button.

Leon let out a scream as pain rippled through his body. He doubled over as his skin rippled a fell away with near explosive force as his entire body cracked at once and shifted around. Cloud watched with wide eyes as the process that normally took almost fifteen minutes to complete, ripped Leon's body apart in under a minute. The lion panted heavily as his body slumped onto the grass, waiting for the trembling pain to subside. A few of Xigbar's pack looked to Leon questioningly but returned their eyes quickly to the other feline Carrier before them. Demyx looked around at the wolves that slowly surrounded him with threatening gazes. He then remembered Zexion was with him and he scooted closer to his Charge, bearing his teeth to Xigbar that returned the gesture with ferocity. Mary clung to her Carrier in a desperate attempt to keep him at bay.

Xigbar ignored her desperate cries and pulled away from her. He and Demyx knew each other relatively well from the feline Carrier's goofy excursions at the canine facility over the years. But this time, Demyx had crossed a line. Drugs or no, no one but Xigbar was allowed to get Mary pregnant.

The entire standoff lasted all of two minutes before the pack lunged forward at once and attacked. Xigbar went first of course, sprinting across the grass towards Demyx, his maw open and prepared to rip the other's throat open. Cloud abandoned Leon and rushed forward to grab Zexion. He didn't make it halfway before another wolf crashed into the steely-haired Charge and knocked him back. Demyx was on the offending canine in an instant and gripped the animal with his claws before sinking his teeth into its spine. The wolf let out a high pitched whine barely a second before Xigbar landed on Demyx's back and clamped down on the back of the cheetah's neck. Mary let out a horrified scream and she grasped at the skin on her face in a desperate attempt to calm herself enough to do something useful.

Demyx whipped himself to the side, flinging the wolf that was on Zexion away, while Xigbar held steady, digging into his skin with teeth and claws. Demyx staggered to the side, away from his Charge as the rest of the pack descended on him in a flurry of ripping paws and searing pain. Cloud grabbed Zexion and hauled him to his feet quickly. The dazed Charge attempted to resist, to run to Demyx's aid, but the blonde on his arm was far stronger than him and pulled him away. A flash of tan and brown ran past them as Leon tackled into the pile of wolves that was attempting to harm his friend. Over seven hundred pounds of lion crashed into the ninety pound wolves, tossing them aside like ragdolls with a swift swipe of his enormous paws. Cloud had mixed feelings about Leon joining in. On the one hand, the Carrier was healthy enough to change and stay in one piece enough to help Demyx; on the other hand… he was helping Demyx and putting himself in more harm. Mary ran across the obstacle course, weaving between the rocks and lengths of rope.

"I'm so sorry!" she said when she met up with Cloud and Zexion. "I should have called before I told Xigbar! I tried to stop him!" she cried, tears streaming down her adorable face. Cloud led Zexion to a chair and helped him sit, to clear his head a bit, before he ran off towards the door that led back into the facility. Once he was gone, Zexion immediately stood again and tried to make his way back to Demyx but Mary grabbed his arm and kept him in place.

"Let me go!" he sneered at the girl and jerked his arm but she held steady.

"No! I don't want you to get hurt!"

"Who the fuck _are_ you?" Zexion barked. How dare some random girl attempt to stop him from helping Demyx!

"I'm Mary!" she squealed. He froze and the color drained from his face. Leon suddenly let out a thunderous roar as Xigbar's brood toppled him over and the alpha himself clamped his jaws around the cat's throat, tearing away at his mane. Demyx lay in the grass off to the side, barely a few feet away. His breathing was heavy but he was otherwise not moving. Zexion shoved the girl away harshly and she squealed as she backpedaled before flopping onto the grass. The steely-haired Charge sprinted across the obstacle course before sliding on his knees to the ground to Demyx's side. Leon was completely covered in gray fur as the Carrier struggled to keep his hold on them.

Suddenly, the door to the facility flew open and a streak of orange and black sped across the grass followed by an entire line of gold. Axel leapt into the air and came down on Xigbar with snarling teeth and claws outstretched. Leon's entire pride of females staggered into the grass, having just been forced to change but not yet fully functional. Some of the females recovered enough to pounce on the canines and fling them to the side. The others slowly padded around the group, waiting for an opportunity and for their bodies to adjust. There was a howling squeal as Axel bit down on Xigbar's hind leg, crunching the limb between powerful jaws, snapping it in two. Mary's watch started beeping erratically and her tears renewed themselves as she covered her face in her hands, sobbing.

"Axel!" Roxas yelled. His Carrier ignored him and brought down his enormous paw across Xigbar's face, knocking him to the side so hard, he didn't get back up. The other wolves dispersed immediately as soon as the alpha flopped onto the grass and lay still. Axel tensed up and turned his attention to the rest of the group, bearing his teeth and laying his ears back threateningly. He snarled and lunged forward, a paw outstretched, scaring the group back several feet, allowing Leon to pull himself up. The pride descended on their brother and nudged and licked and pawed at him, to make sure he was alright. Mary pulled herself up from the grass and sped across the grass and flopped next to Xigbar. She looked him over quickly before punching him in the ribcage as hard she could.

"Fucking bastard! I told you to not do this!" she screamed through her sobs. She turned her murderous and puffy eyes to the rest of the pack. "Get back to the facility and get help before I kill you all!" she roared. The wolves hesitated for a moment before one by one; they trickled away, off towards the path in the grass. Cloud jogged to the group of lions and the females spread away for him to kneel in front of Leon and look him over. Everyone's attention was pulled to Demyx though when Zexion let out wailing sob as he cradled the broken cheetah's face in his lap. Mary abandoned Xigbar to run to the pair but Zexion pushed her away immediately.

"This is your fault!" he cried through his tears. "If you want to be helpful, get some god damned help!" he barked. Roxas beckoned Axel to him and the Carrier followed him back inside the facility quickly. Cloud left Leon and sped over to Demyx, giving Mary a harsh glare as he crouched down to help. The girl stood off to the side helplessly, unable to force her legs to move. Cloud gently laid a hand on Demyx's side and felt the erratic and weak rise and fall of his chest under his bloodied skin.

"I'll be right back," the blonde Charge said as he pushed himself up and ran back into the facility. Leon broke off from his sisters and padded over to the pair and gently sniffed at Demyx's wounds. He determined the least amount of damage was on Demyx' face which managed to only get a few light cuts and the russet Carrier eased onto the grass. He proceeded to lick Demyx's face, coaxing the other Carrier to stay awake. Zexion wiped at his eyes and looked around with a loud sniffle. He spied his tablet in the grass a few feet away and crawled over to it in order to take some notes as he assessed the damage. The lionesses milled around, waiting to be useful, and kept an eye on Xigbar and Mary.

The doors flew open again and Axel, dressed in his shorts, poured out of the facility, carrying a large sling. Riku was next with another sling, followed by Cloud, Sora, and Roxas who was holding the door. Cloud jogged over to Zexion and handed the other Charge a large medical kit. Riku and Sora jogged over to Xigbar and laid the sling on the ground before spreading it open. The sling itself was simply two metal bars with a stretch of canvas between them. Mary was next to them quickly, a worried look on her face as Riku and Sora (mostly Riku) gently lifted the wolf a few inches off the ground and laid him on the sling. Axel and Cloud did the same with Demyx. They each took a metal pole in each hand and lifted the Carriers into the air and headed off back into the facility followed by Zexion and Mary. Roxas held the door for them and let it close again, gently.

When Roxas looked back to the grass, Leon was in the middle of changing back. The fur receded and the follicles spread over him like a growing puddle, creating new skin and eradicating his minor cuts and scrapes in the process. His toes extended and created fingers attached to hands while his legs pushed out and created human feet. It was an interesting transition as his face receded inward and his mane decended under his skin until only his regular hair remained. Once completed, he shook his head a bit and raked his fingers through his hair before blinking a few times and pushing up to stand on his two legs again. Roxas averted his eyes quickly, having already seen the Carrier naked once and not needing any more. Leon padded his way to his clothing and pulled on his shorts quickly. The lionesses all started to change back as well.

"Wait for the other wolves to come back, then bring them inside," Leon said to his sisters before picking up his shirt and heading off to the door. Roxas opened it for him and the Carrier nodded his thanks before they both went inside.

There was a lot of yelling happening inside, mostly between Zexion, Mary, Cloud and Riku. Sora, Ventus, and Axel were standing outside of the brunette and Riku's lab, waiting patiently for any sort of direction. Cloud and Zexion's voices were coming from Demyx and Zexion's lab and were more like frantic barks at one another as they both rushed around attempting to help the Carrier with whatever wounds he had. Roxas had no idea to what extent the damage had been done to his friend, but judging by how upset Zexion was and how much blood had soaked through the Carrier's golden fur, things couldn't be very good. Mary was simply arguing with Riku.

"How can I trust you're going to help him? He's been an overbearing idiot yes, but I still don't trust you!" Mary yelped at the snowy Carrier who was standing near Xigbar's still body which had been placed on an exam table.

"Fine, I'll just dump him back outside then. It's going to be at least an hour before the rest of the pack gets back here, if they run at full speed. You can have a band-aid and a wet towel if you feel that's all he needs. It'd be stupid of you to deny my treatment simply because you don't trust me. Be grateful I'm even offering this much," Riku said calmly. Roxas joined his brother, Ventus, and Axel. Leon bypassed them and headed towards Demyx and Zexion's lab to join Cloud. There was the sound of running footsteps thundering down the hall and Demyx's brother and two sisters rounded the corner with their Charges and medical kits in tow. Roxas and Axel watched them speed down the hall, the blonde weaving his arms around the redhead's waist absently and giving him a gentle hug, thankful that he wasn't injured. His lover kissed his hair and hugged him back.

"I…don't…you can't hurt him…please…" Mary whimpered quietly before her sobs renewed themselves.

"I'm not going to. I have no intention of killing him. I'm sure he had some legitimate, if rage filled, vendetta to fill if he decided to risk himself and his family against Carriers four times his size. I know Xigbar is a little hot headed but he had to have been extremely angry to be this reckless. I'll treat him as much as I can and let his pack take him when they get back. You have my word," Riku said. Sora broke off from the tiny group in the hall and reentered their lab quietly.

"What do you need me to do?" the brunette asked. Mary's cries continued, covering their conversation as they discussed their plan. Ventus looked to Roxas and Axel.

"What happened?" the older blonde asked worriedly, pushing his brows together.

"Our date just got postponed," Roxas sighed sadly before he rubbed his eyes. Axel smirked with a light snort and rubbed his Charge's back reassuringly.

"Let's go see if we're needed anywhere," the redhead said. Roxas nodded in agreement before lacing his finger's with Axel's and leading him down the hall.


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 62**

Stabilizing Demyx wasn't all that difficult. He wasn't really all that _unstable_ to begin with except for some trauma to his chest cavity. He was littered in scratches, cuts, bites, and blood which made things seem a whole lot worse. The only problem with all of that was it made finding out the legitimate injuries far more painful because they had to be felt. But there was another problem, one that was much worse:

Demyx had to change back.

One thing was certain though, one of Demyx's front paws was crushed. He lay on the exam table and wiggled his broken foot at his siblings, Leon, Cloud, and Zexion weakly and as soon as one of them touched it, he made a horrible noise followed by a horrible face. Compared to his friends, Demyx had the second smallest Totem; Riku, being the smaller one obviously. Taking down a one hundred and forty-five pound cheetah was far easier than taking down his friend Leon, who was morbidly obese in comparison based on weight. Never mind _Axel's_ fat ass. The resulting damage from having so many ninety pound wolves on him at once, was a few bruised and battered ribs which wasn't all that bad so long as your body stayed in one place. Unfortunately for Demyx, he couldn't do that.

Leon and Cloud had left shortly after they weren't needed anymore. Demyx's siblings, their Charges, and Zexion were enough for now. They stood around the Carrier once he was lowered to the floor, only Zexion sitting with the cat and they waited for Demyx to pull all of his courage together in order to change back. The beginning processes were quiet, the slow receding of the Carrier's pelt and the subtraction of claws. Once the bones started to move around, Demyx started screaming in a half human, half strangled animal sort of disastrous way. Zexion's eyes watered as he watched his lover writhe around the floor in complete agony, unable to help him. Changing back was marginally quicker than changing in the first place, but for everyone involved, it seemed like an eternity.

Once the functions of Demyx's tear ducts returned to him, his face was drenched in the sudden downpour. Everywhere he turned was pain. Searing, white hot pain eating away at the innards of his skeleton. His cuts and scrapes were gone by the time he was finished and very little blood remained but the bruising was already blatant and his hand was a mess with several fingers bent at awkward angles. He lay on his back with his eyes squeezed shut as a hoarse scream ripped from his throat. Zexion was there in a split second and laid a hand on the Carrier's clammy forehead. Demyx's breathing was labored as he attempted to adjust himself around but gave up after a few seconds and settled for laying still and catching his breath; which was difficult.

Zexion blinked a few times to keep his tears at bay and attempted to comfort his ailing lover by running his fingers through the dusty locks. It hadn't been a few minutes before Demyx coughed and blood suddenly spurted from his lips. His siblings were on him in an instant, hauling him upwards by his shoulders and legs and replacing him on the freezing cold exam table, the surrounding area of which contained a series of Carrier specific portable medical machines with a trail of chords and wires that lead across the floor to the Diagnostic Care Center and the Catalogue terminal where the Charge's watch lay. Zexion gaped at the space on the floor where the Carrier had been seconds before. Before he could get hysterical, his mind fogged over and his body went on auto-pilot. He stood and stomped out of the lab and down the hall.

Riku was still attempting to take care of Xigbar with Mary hovering around him like a wounded butterfly. Sora was standing with his Carrier and following directions carefully. Axel and Roxas hung back, waiting to be useful. The opportunity presented itself when Zexion burst through the lab doors. He immediately ignored any sort of protesting Riku and Sora made and stalked over to Mary. Axel's eyes widened and he leapt across the room to hook his arms under Zexion's armpits when the Charge reached his hands forward in attempts to strangle the girl. Mary squealed and backpedaled a few feet away from him and his murderous gaze. Axel lifted the steely-haired Charge upwards, effectively stopping his tirade when his feet no longer touched the ground.

"Whoa!" the redhead gasped and stepped away from Mary, bringing Zexion with him. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked. Roxas watched the exchange with astonished eyes.

"If Demyx dies she does too! They both do!" Zexion roared as he kicked and thrashed about against Axel's grasp.

"Die?" Mary questioned with her jaw practically hanging to the floor. Xigbar looked up at the struggling pair from his position on the exam table. "Is it that bad?" she gasped. Zexion grit his teeth as his voice cracked when he sucked in a breath. He stared at the girl with venom in his eyes that betrayed his tears as his resistance dwindled. Eventually he gave up his rage fueled fit and slumped in Axel's arms and the redhead lowered him to the floor. The gravity of what he had said sunk in and his hands flew up to his face as he let out a loud sob. Axel looked to Roxas with a light gape, the blonde stared back at him in the same manner. Xigbar let out a loud yelp suddenly when Riku started to manhandle his leg.

"Zexion, are you sure? Is it that bad?" Roxas asked quietly. Zexion nodded a few times through his tears.

"Zexion!" Morgan, Demyx's sister, called from down the hall. The Charge startled and he quickly realized he had abandoned his Carrier and that he still had work to do. He scrambled to his feet and made a dash for the doors before he could explain anything to his friends and Mary and Xigbar. Sora's expression dropped and he and Riku exchanged looks. Normally, Zexion wasn't so scatterbrained. It was a telltale sign that things were not good. There was nothing any of them could do to help any further though. Seven people working on Demyx was enough. Any more bodies in the immediate area would be a hindrance.

"You do realize that you attacked probably the most docile and sweetest person in this facility?" Riku asked flatly once Zexion was gone. He looked to Mary with a hard glare before turning his cold eyes to Xigbar. The girl shifted her weight uncomfortably from leg to leg as she fidgeted.

"I…" she trailed as her eyes began to water again.

"Save the waterworks for someone who gives a damn," Sora spat. Roxas raised a surprised brow at his sibling. Riku seemed mildly stunned as well but didn't say anything. He only nodded in agreement.

"As harsh as it may sound, I have to agree," Axel said and took his place by Roxas' side again with his arms crossed over his chest. "As Xigbar's Charge it's your responsibility to keep him under control, or so the Committee says. Xigbar can't exactly open his mouth and say anything right now so unfortunately you're going to take the brunt of the abuse. If he's any sort of a man, he would've been a little more level headed about everything. I assume he stormed over here because of what happened between you and Demyx at quarantine?"

"There's more to it than that," Mary said quietly and looked to the floor as a reluctant tear slipped from her eye. She wiped it away quickly. She sniffled loudly. "We're slated to get our own house within the next month. Which is great and everything, but it also causes us problems because it's one less excuse I have to get an abortion."

"…Wait," Sora said and squinted at her suspiciously. He handed Riku a strip of tape and the Carrier began wrapping it around Xigbar's temporary splint. The wolf let out a light whine at the pressure but otherwise remained steady. Mary swallowed thickly and looked to Sora.

"Yeah, I know. I'm pregnant," she said flatly and looked away again. "Neither of us likes the idea of abortion and before we found out about the house, we were planning on going through with it. The list of reasons why we should was relatively short but the biggest issue was with the lack of space. Well, now that's not a problem."

"Do it anyway. Are you both so against it that you would live with a child of rape? Did you even consider Demyx's opinions? What if he wanted to have children with Zexion and Zexion only? You both agree that none of this is either of your faults. Why put him through such punishment? To have a child out there and not be a part of its life sounds like far more painful than preventing the child from existing in the first place. Especially in this scenario. It would've been different if you two had come together willingly, but this doesn't seem like the type of situation where you'd be willing to let Demyx be a part of his child's life. Am I correct in assuming this? That you wouldn't let Demyx in?" Axel asked gruffly. Roxas furrowed his brows lightly, the redhead's insensitive tone unsettling him.

"I-I don't know. I mean, it's not like I'd flat out deny him I guess…" Mary trailed. Xigbar's eyes snapped to her and she fidgeted under his cold glare. She frowned at him. "Don't give me that look. Do you realize how guilty I would feel if Demyx came knocking on our door and I had to slam it in his face?" she asked grumpily.

"It seems Xigbar doesn't agree with your generosity," Riku said flatly.

"Did the Committee approve your abortion though?" Axel asked. Mary shrugged.

"I put in the request last week, before we found out about the house. I haven't heard back from them but there's no going back once we're approved. I still have time to deny the application," she said. Sora furrowed his brows.

"You can't just go out to a clinic and get one? You need permission?" the brunette asked and looked to Riku. The Carrier shook his head.

"Situations like these aren't supposed to happen. The Charges are allowed to have children with their Carriers and vice versa, only. But when they wrote the rules, they said all 'females' in the program were supposed to have permission because abortions are potentially dangerous and can leave harmful scars. They never specified what kinds of females are supposed to get permission so _all_ of them have to. I can't imagine they would deny a female Charge's application though. It's not like she has to carry natural Totem offspring. Plus, if they're just now earning a home, they obviously haven't gotten to the point where they can have children together yet. Even if she denies the application, they may just take it anyway," Riku explained.

"That's not necessarily true," Mary interjected. "Unlike most apex predator Totems, we have over twenty-six Carriers to our name which far exceeds the quota of eleven for everyone else. There's more leeway there and we may be able to keep it if we so choose because the work will be distributed equally enough amongst everyone else while we raise it."

"You could suggest that they give the fetus to Demyx and Zexion so they could make another Carrier from it for their program if you don't want to kill it completely," Axel said. Again, Xigbar shifted around and sent a sharp glare to the redhead.

"I have to talk to Demyx. I don't know what else to think. There are too many 'ifs' and 'could be' situations," the girl sighed and rubbed her forehead before wiping away a stray tear and sniffling loudly. There was a knock on the doors before Naomi pushed them open and stuck her head inside.

"The dogs are back," she said angrily and sent Xigbar a harsh look. Mary nodded and made her way out of the lab to greet them. Riku and Sora began cleaning up their medical supplies and Axel and Roxas waited to be useful again. The blonde turned to the redhead.

"I'm going to go check on Ventus," he said. Axel nodded.

* * *

Ventus was right where Roxas and Axel told him to be; in the lab, at a table, surrounded by piles of fat textbooks. The older blonde's new clothing would be arriving within the next few days to Yuffie's tailor shop so for now, he was wearing spare pairs of beige shorts and beige t-shirts that had accumulated in his armoire somehow. Not that he cared, he didn't have anyone to impress anymore. He pulled his eyes away from his book when Roxas made it into the lab and he smiled a bit.

"How goes the battlefront?" Ventus mused.

"Painful and emotional. Are your eyes crossing yet?" Roxas asked. The other blonde shook his head.

"Not yet. Thankfully I knew the first six chapters of this book already. And most of the other ones. It's a little weird because I have actual books versus digital screens, but I think I'm okay for now. I'm just finding the names of things and checking to see if I missed anything," he said and held up the book to show the cover so Roxas could see what he was talking about. It was one of the books describing the make and usage of the various machines in the lab. Roxas nodded.

"Good. That's one of the most important ones."

"I thought so."

"Well…alright then. I guess I don't have anything else to add," Roxas shrugged. He half expected to burst into the lab and find Ventus scurrying back to his seat because he wasn't doing what he was supposed to be doing. It was a pleasant surprise to find him at the table. It sent the right messages. He waved a bit as he made his way out the doors again and Ventus returned the gesture before returning back to his book. Roxas waited for a few minutes out of sight before peeking in through the windows again, and found that the older blonde wasn't moving or doing anything suspicious. In fact, he seemed rather engrossed in his reading material. Roxas watched him for a minute before shrugging again and heading back to Sora and Riku's lab.

* * *

Xigbar was whisked away, but they left Mary behind. She volunteered of course and she sat quietly outside and waited for Zexion return. He and the other cheetah Carriers had stabilized Demyx enough to get him into town so they could use the medical center's facilities. The Carrier's hand would have to be reconstructed surgically in a few places and when he had shifted back, one of his ribs was pushed inward too much and scraped across his lung, causing a slight bleeding problem. It wasn't as bad as if say, his ribs had skewered his lung completely, but it was enough of a problem to have to go in and fix it. The feline facility, like all Carrier facilities, was not equipped to do extensive surgery but a proper medical center was never more than a few miles away.

Xigbar got away with scrapes and a broken leg. Mary, though happy he would recover, felt guilty. Rightfully so. She knew she should've told Zexion and Demyx before the opportunity arose for Xigbar to flip out. It was bound to happen but her naïve side combated with her practical side and denial won out over all. She only hoped Demyx would recover fully otherwise she felt she may not be able to forgive herself.

The tension was high at dinner that evening. Zexion hadn't returned and that meant Mary was left to eat with Axel, Roxas, Sora, Riku, and Ventus. Leon and Cloud had left for the evening. The conversations were brief between everyone since their minds were filled with worry and unpleasant thoughts. Ventus was a little more at peace than everyone else, but that was only because he didn't know Demyx and Zexion as well. He knew what had happened and how upsetting it was, but he kept his mouth shut to keep the peace. No one seemed very happy to be around Mary and the question of the hour hung in the air like a thick smog.

"When are you leaving?" Axel asked grumpily, narrowing his eyes on the female Charge in question. She fidgeted in her seat a bit.

"As soon as I can talk to Demyx and Zexion," she said quietly, hanging her head.

"Go home. Give them a call in a few days," the redhead ordered. She shook her head.

"I can't. I need to do this face to face."

"Then come back. I'm tired of looking at you," Axel spat. "You're a constant reminder of Xigbar's stupidity and how awful this entire day has been. Not to mention, the horrible things that Xemnas has caused."

"Axel…" Riku trailed warily, giving his friend a careful glare out the corner of his eyes. Axel's eyes flicked to him briefly before turning back to the girl.

"It's true though. I haven't been able to think of anything else since you've shown up. I'm tired of it. We don't have anywhere for you to sleep either, and the day is wearing thin. If you start now, you'll be able to get in your own bed before dark," Axel said. Mary shook her head again.

"I can't be around Xigbar right now. I'm angry with him. I can sleep on the floor somewhere if need be, but I _have_ to do this. I won't have any peace before I speak with them," she said. Her voice was quiet still but there was a firmness in it that wasn't there previously.

"She can sleep with me," Ventus offered sarcastically with a smirk. Roxas nearly choked on his mouthful of salad. He swallowed the food particles quickly and coughed a few times as he started to laugh. Mary didn't understand why it was so funny and looked at the pair with a raised brow. Seeing both blondes side by side confused her even more but it wasn't her place to question anything.

"No thank you. I'm angry at Xigbar but I couldn't do that to him," she said politely. Roxas pressed his forehead into Axel's arm, laughing still. Ventus started chuckling as well.

"But my bed is so cold," the older blonde said sweetly and batted his copper lashes at the girl. Axel snickered a bit as he watched the display. Sora tried to hide his smile behind an enormous spoonful of mashed potatoes but was hardly successful. Riku smirked. Mary looked around to everyone with furrowed brows.

"Am I missing something?" she asked, unable to keep her confusion to herself any longer. Ventus grinned and wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders and pulled her close. He leaned his face close to hers.

"You're missing a lot, sweet pea. Especially me. I'm sort of a big deal and I'm having a hard time believing that you're not the least bit curious," he said with a suggestive purr tangled between his words. She grimaced and pushed away from him.

"What?" she gasped and glared at him. Roxas nearly fell out of his seat as his laughs caught in his throat and turned into hoarse squeaks. Axel held him upright and buried his grin into his Charge's hair. Sora slapped a hand over his mouth and turned to hide his giggles behind Riku's shoulder. The snowy Carrier was the best at hiding his amusement and only smiled.

"Oh come on. Just one night?" Ventus asked and gave the girl a sly smile. Mary scoffed disgustedly at him.

"You're deplorable," she said. Ventus waved a dismissive hand.

"Yeah I get that a lot. Your loss though. I wouldn't have charged you anything. A pity fuck every once and a while is an okay way to do my good deeds for the week," he said blandly and returned to his meal, his expression shifting to one of sheer boredom. Mary's jaw dropped.

"How dare you say such things to me! Like I'd even consider doing something like that with someone like _you_ ," she growled. Ventus shrugged.

"Whatever you say, sweet pea."

"Don't call me that."

"I didn't call you 'That' I called you 'sweet pea.' Jeeze, listen a little bit," he snorted.

"You know that's not what I meant!" she squeaked. Ventus only smiled to himself and continued eating. Mary huffed. Slowly, everyone else went back to their meals as well and another uncomfortable silence befell them. Sora and Riku finished first.

"We need to talk to you guys when you're finished," Sora said, looking to Roxas and Axel. They both nodded to them instead of talking around mouthfuls of food and the other pair left quietly. Axel looked over Roxas' head to Ventus.

"You can go ahead and either go back to your room or continue studying if you want. I'm not sure if what they want to talk about is something we need you listening to," the redhead said. Ventus nodded.

"I'll go back and study some more," he confirmed.

"Mary…well whatever. Apparently you're going to do whatever you want. So I'm not even going to waste the energy," Axel said. Roxas snorted.

* * *

Sora and Riku were both dressed in pajamas and having a light conversation between themselves when Roxas and Axel made it to their lab. To the blonde, it looked like something was bothering his brother. Sora's demeanor wasn't quite as energetic and cheery as it usually was and Roxas hoped it was just everything with Demyx that was making him upset. He didn't know if he could deal with yet another issue that would rear its ugly head and have to be dealt with. The conversation ceased when they entered and Sora put on a small smile.

"We got confirmation from Saix," the brunette said.

"Confirmation for what?" Axel asked bluntly.

"The trip to Riku's ecosystem dome, duh," Sora laughed. The redhead blinked a few times.

"Oh! I forgot. Sorry. Saix is allowing us to come along?"

"On one condition," Riku amended. Axel and Roxas looked to one another before looking to Riku again. "On the way back from my ecosystem dome, we have to go by yours and repeat the process. Apparently they will be finishing an expansion there as well and if we go by, it would save Saix the trouble of wrangling another Carrier into traveling there. Is that alright?" he asked. Axel brightened considerably. Roxas blinked a few times.

"Hell yeah that's okay!" the redhead twittered happily. He looked to Roxas. "Right?" Roxas shrugged.

"I don't care what we do. I've never been to a rainforest before. Nor have I ever gone and crawled around in the mountains. So both places are totally unfamiliar and I can't give a legitimate opinion. How long is this going to take though? With everything that's happened with the gestational tanks and the Terminal and Ansems drug, we can't be gone too long otherwise we may have a problem. That's my only concern," Roxas said. Axel looked thoughtful before nodding in agreement.

"We would be gone for almost three weeks. Between the time it takes for us to inspect each dome and the traveling, it'll be quite a haul," Riku said. "I honestly have the same concerns about our own lab and equipment. We talked to Tifa and Zack and they said they should be able to come over here and keep an eye on things for us. Perhaps Leon and Cloud would do the same for you. Is Ventus trustworthy enough to leave alone though?" he asked.

"So far, he seems alright," Axel said before Roxas could. The blonde still had his doubts but Ventus hadn't done anything wrong yet to warrant them and he was indecisive.

"Well this isn't for another four months. Perhaps by then, he would be comfortable enough to help as well. So long as you feel alright with it that is," Riku said. Sora nodded.

"I think his intentions are good," the brunette said. Roxas shrugged. Axel nodded.

"We'll see. I'm excited though. I've only seen my dome once before," the redhead said and did a tiny dance in his place with a smile to show his enthusiasm. Roxas smiled at him.

"I'm more concerned about the heat," Riku said with a sigh. Axel laughed.

"Yeah that could be a problem. The humidity makes it worse. If it makes you feel any better, I hate snow."

"Yes well you could always put on six sweaters and feel better. I can't carry around a block of ice. It would melt," the snowy Carrier said. Sora patted him on the shoulder.

"You'll just have to walk around naked," the brunette said reassuringly.

"I just might," Riku agreed.

"We can get you a portable fan," Roxas offered. Riku shook his head with a small smile.

"I'll be fine. I complain, but I'm not going to die."

"Do what I do. Take a dip in the pool. It makes it a lot easier," Axel said. Riku shrugged.

"I suppose I'll have to try it. I've never submerged myself like that before," he said. Sora gasped.

"Really? You've never swam before?"

"Really," Riku confirmed. "Showers and rain are the only things I've gotten completely soaked by. Pools and bathtubs were never my thing."

"Ohmygodyay!" Sora squealed and hugged his Carrier abruptly with a grin. "I get to teach you!" he said happily. Roxas laughed.

"Good luck with that one, Riku," the blonde said. Riku shrugged.

"I'll be fine, I'm sure."

"If you disappear suddenly, we'll know what happened and give you a memorial service," Axel said and chuckled. Riku laughed.

"I'm not that bad! I was on the fucking swim team in high school!" Sora cried with a huff.

"I know. Which is why I'm not worried," Riku said.

* * *

"What did you want to do in the morning?" Roxas asked as he pulled his shirt over his head and down his arms before tossing it aside. Axel threw himself face first onto the bed with a tired sigh and shrugged.

"I have no idea. Part of me wants to visit Demyx and part of me wants to do what we were supposed to be doing before all of this started," the redhead said. The blonde tossed his jeans aside and scooted onto the bed in his boxers and ran his fingers through Axel's hair.

"We can visit Demyx. I don't mind. I think we should, honestly," Roxas said.

"Yeah but this was supposed to be _our_ week," the Carrier grumbled. The blonde shrugged.

"A couple hours isn't going to ruin it."

"That's not the problem. Seeing him all hurt and stuff is going to kill the mood for the rest of the day. In fact, just thinking about it gets me down."

"Oh. Yeah I see what you mean."

"I feel like going back and beating the hell out of Xigbar," Axel said angrily.

"You already did that."

"Not enough."

"If you say so. We could strap Mary to your back and you can carry her back while we're at it."

"Possibly. Don't joke about it anymore. I'm seriously considering it."

"Okay," Roxas chuckled. He shuffled away from the redhead and peeled off his boxers before shoving himself under the covers. "Go ahead and get your shower. I'll be out here," he said and folded his hands on his lap neatly. Axel picked his face up off the comforter and looked to his Charge. His expression turned thoughtful for a few seconds before he pushed himself up and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and yanked it over his head quickly and flung it off the bed. He quickly crawled across the bed to Roxas. The blonde blinked a few times when suddenly Axel's face was in his with a sly grin nearly splitting it in half.

"What if I want to smell funny for you tonight?" the redhead asked. Roxas shrugged casually.

"You don't smell funny. One shower a day is enough. I have no idea what compels you to take two. Do I smell funny? I only take one."

"You always smell funny to me."

"…Well now wait a minute," the blonde said and furrowed his brows.

"But I like your smell so don't worry about it."

"Humans smell. That's what they do," Roxas tried defensively. Axel laughed.

"True enough, I suppose. If I put you in a giant terrarium with a wheel to run in I'm sure that's all you'd do. Sit around and smell," the redhead said and reached up to ruffle the blonde's hair. The Charge glared at him.

"I'm not your pet. I'm not a hamster either."

"Also true," Axel said and cleared the last inch between them to lay a gentle kiss on the blonde lips. "I don't make love to hamsters," he said and chuckled when Roxas' expression turned sour.

"…I'm not your pet," the blonde denied again. Axel grinned.

"So you think. Little do you know I've got a whole pet shop in town filled to the brim with Roxas clones for people to buy and take home with them so they can sit on the bed and look surly all day. It's ingenious really. People will buy anything with a pretty 'designer' label attached."

"That's really twisted," Roxas laughed.

"Oh but you haven't seen the miniature versions! They fit in your purse!" Axel twittered stupidly. Roxas laughed again and shook his head. The laughter seeped away slowly and they shared a brief comfortable silence simply smiling at one another. Roxas was the first fidget under the chanteuse gaze after it lingered too long.

"What?" he questioned. Axel's smile spread into another grin.

"Nothing. I just like your smile," he said. Roxas looked away as his cheeks turned pink and said smile threatened to get bigger. Axel chuckled and reached up and pulled the blonde's face back so he could press their lips together again. Roxas responded immediately and wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck and pulled him closer. Tongues were quick to emerge and intertwine as they thoroughly tasted one another.

Axel pressed forward. Roxas got the hint and slowly lay back against the pillows, allowing the redhead to hover over him. The Carrier brought one leg over his Charge and straddled him, encircling the blonde's face with his hands and forearms. His fingers caressed Roxas' skin and hair, reveling in the closeness. They broke for air briefly and shared a smile before coming together again for more. Roxas' hands slid over the redhead's chest and Axel let out a pleased shudder and lowered himself further so their bodies were pressed together fully through the comforter and Axel's shorts. The blonde's fingers danced down the redhead's back, feeling the light ridges of the Carrier's scars, until they grazed the tops of the shorts. He grabbed the fabric and gave it a tug, pulling away from Axel's mouth to speak.

"Off," Roxas ordered huskily and Axel grinned before pushing himself up enough to get at the mechanics at the front of his clothing. As soon as the zipper was pulled, Roxas' hands were in the fabric, grabbing impatiently at the redhead's half hardened length. Axel let out a shaky breath with the intrusion as the gentle touches sent tingles all over his skin. He managed to back away enough to shuffle out of his shorts fully though and kicked them off the bed. Roxas shoved the covers off of himself and Axel replaced himself on top of his lover before pulling them back, encasing them both in a fabric cave. Their tongues were together again almost instantly and hands began to wander.

Right when things were getting seriously heated, there was a light knock on the door that made Axel's ear twitch. With the way Roxas' fervent kissing never hesitated, the redhead got the impression the blonde didn't hear it. After ignoring the sound for a few minutes there was another knock and the Carrier growled low in his throat as his frustration began to bubble. Roxas pulled away from their kiss and gave the redhead a raised brow. Axel turned and glared at the door just as another knock sounded. Roxas sighed and rolled his eyes a little as he lifted the covers, giving Axel the go ahead to answer. The Carrier angrily pushed himself out of the bed and stomped to the door.

"Wait Axel what abou—" Roxas tried to stop him but the redhead flung the door open suddenly. The blonde sighed. "…clothes," he finished quietly to himself.

"What?" Axel barked angrily. Mary squeaked and her hands flew up to cover her eyes when the redhead presented himself to her.

"I'm sorry! I just thought you were asleep!" she said quickly and peeked through her fingers. She took in Roxas sitting up on the bed with the blanket barely covering him and her entire face turned as red as a tomato.

"What the fuck do you want now?" Axel sneered crankily. She turned to the side to avert her eyes and dug in her pocket. She produced Zexion's watch, which was beeping erratically. The redhead snatched it from her before stepping back and slamming the door closed. He looked at the tiny device with furrowed brows and silenced it.

_Internal hemorrhaging into pleural cavity_

  _Hypovolemic shock_

Axel's jaw dropped and he paled. Roxas pushed himself out of the bed and went to him. He peered into the watch's tiny screen and his eyes widened. He looked to Axel and noticed the redhead zoning out as his eyes turned glassy. Roxas pulled the watch from the redhead's suddenly limp fingers and took the hands in his. Axel blinked a few times and looked to the blonde worriedly. They watched each other for a few tense minutes.

"Let's go," Roxas said and Axel nodded hastily.

* * *

Leon and Cloud were already at the medical facility when Roxas and Axel burst through the doors. They were sitting in the lobby with Zexion between them. The Charge was hugging a beige t-shirt to his chest with tears streaming down his face. Leon and Cloud looked to the pair entering the building with haggard and beaten expressions. Axel's heart dropped into his stomach when he took in the group and his knees felt weak. Roxas was speechless. None of Demyx's siblings were anywhere in sight and it gave him a little hope. They could be in the back of the building working on Demyx or they could be visiting him. The lobby itself was relatively quiet save for Zexion's quiet sniffles and light sobs. Neither Leon nor Cloud were making a move to comfort the ailing Charge but Zexion didn't seem to mind. Their presence was more than enough of a show of emotion. He knew they weren't one for physical contact in these sorts of situations.

"Zexion?" Axel asked as he approached the steely-haired Charge and lowered himself onto the floor in front of him to look up into his face. Zexion sniffled loudly and pushed his large swatch of hair behind his ear and wiped at his face. Roxas blinked. He had never seen the entirety of Zexion's visage before. He half expected to see some horrible disfiguring scar or a blind eye that was completely white, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. If they had had any sort of close connection outside of mutual friendship Roxas may have considered calling Zexion 'pretty' but they didn't, so he couldn't. He wasn't in that mindset anyway. He was concerned about Demyx.

"Why are you here? Did Morgan call you?" Zexion asked tiredly. Axel shook his head and dug in his pocket and produced the Charge's watch for him. Zexion took it with weak fingers and scoffed at it. "Useless thing," he said but fastened it around his wrist anyway.

"Tell me about it," Cloud snorted in agreement. Leon absently itched his scalp where his incision scar was before he realized what he was doing and quickly refolded his arms over his chest.

"Mary is at the facility still. Xigbar was taken back by his brothers but she insisted she stay behind to talk to you both. Can… can she talk to you both? Will she be able to?" Axel asked hesitantly, skirting around the subject. He didn't want to blurt out 'did Demyx die?' but the temptation was there. The words hung in the air, suffocating everything around them. Zexion wiped a few more tears off of his face as they escaped his eyes. He was tired. So very tired. All he wanted to do was crawl home and into the bed and sleep for a week. He looked to Leon.

"Can you tell them please? I don't want to repeat myself again," he asked hoarsely and licked his dry lips.

Leon nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleural Cavity = The part of the chest cavity that contains the lungs. The lungs themselves are contained in a sac-like membrane called the 'pleura.' Thus, pleural cavity.
> 
> Hypovolemic Shock = A type of physical shock that is attributed to internal bleeding where the heart cannot properly circulate the blood because it's going other places. Also called 'hemorrhagic shock.'


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter 63**

"One of Demyx's ribs was cracked before he changed back. During the process of coming back to his Implant, it cracked all the way through and raked across his lung. It started out small and Zexion and everyone else were able to get him here before it grew worse. They were in the middle of surgery when it escalated and were able to jump on it and get it taken care of, hopefully, before any permanent damage could be done. Demyx is in the back now, indisposed, while Morgan and Lilly give him a blood transfusion. He's been put in a medically induced coma for now and they're going to repair his hand and put him in the Diagnostic Care Center to heal for a few weeks before they bring him out of it," Leon explained. Zexion nodded in agreement with everything that he said. Axel and Roxas let out a sigh of relief.

"Meanwhile, I guess I have to deal with Mary, don't I?" Zexion asked irritably. Another stray tear slipped out of his eye and he wiped it away with what was assumed to be Demyx's t-shirt.

"She can wait," Axel said. Zexion shook his head.

"No, she can't. If she's there to tell me what I think she's going to tell me, she has little time to wait," he said and held his face in his hands for a few seconds before rubbing at his skin vigorously to wake himself up more. "Fucking women," he muttered. All eyes turned to him with astonished expressions. Zexion looked over the tops of his fingers and raised a brow. "I said that out loud, didn't I?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. Yeah you did," Cloud snorted. "Tell us how you _really_ feel."

"I'm sorry. Mary said she knew she should've called before everything and she reminded me a few things my ex-wife used to do and it was…yeah…just… I'm sorry," he repeated and ran his fingers through his hair, causing the uneven side to slip from behind his ear and conceal half of his face again. He sighed.

"You didn't offend my testicles in the least," Cloud said and waved a dismissive hand. Zexion gave a small laugh, which sounded more like a quick huff of air versus anything substantial, followed by a weak smile.

"Though you might have to explain your outburst to his vagina," Leon added. Cloud sent the Carrier a nasty glare. That warranted a stronger laugh from Zexion. Axel and Roxas snickered as well. Cloud let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed his eyes between his thumb and index finger.

"I don't have the energy to put up with your shit, asshole," the taller blonde grumbled. Leon shrugged.

"Whine to someone who gives a damn. You might get a more favorable reaction," he said simply.

"I hate you," Cloud growled.

"No you don't."

"Yes. I do."

"No. You don't."

"Stop telling me how I feel."

"Stop having your menstrual cycle and I wouldn't be able to read you so easily."

"Squall, I swear I will curb stomp you in the dick. Stop it."

"Yes dear," Leon said curtly and sat a little straighter and gave his lover an unfazed face. Cloud's glare turned murderous.

"Ah, young love. They grow up so fast," Axel sighed dreamily. Leon snorted.

"I'm eighty years older than you," he said. The redhead shrugged.

"You're the one that admitted it."

"I never denied it. I simply don't like it."

"Did you need me to get your walker?" Cloud asked abruptly. Leon gave him a light glare.

"No, but my geriatric legs are so very tired. You might have to carry me home," the Carrier said. Cloud laughed.

"Fuck that, you can sleep here."

"You're awful."

"No, I'm practical. A bed is a bed. They have them here and you can sleep in one," the taller blonde said finitely.

"Don't worry buddy, I'll carry you home," Axel said and grinned at Leon.

"See? Axel loves me," Leon said.

"Good, he can take care of you then," Cloud said.

"No more people to take care of please. Ventus is enough," Roxas injected abruptly and held his face in one hand. Everyone laughed. Zexion sat back in his chair and listened through a muffled filter to the ensuing conversation. Most of it was light bickering between Leon and Cloud but he didn't have the mind to listen and be amused anymore. He was worried, to say the least. Several weeks without Demyx sounded like a horrible proposition even if the end result was positive enough. He didn't notice when the conversation stopped and Axel started talking to him. He stared ahead of himself blankly. Axel furrowed his brows and snapped his fingers in front of the empty Charge's face. Zexion startled and blinked a few times.

"Are you going to be alright?" the redhead asked and peered into his unsure eyes worriedly. Zexion nodded.

"I'm… yeah. I'll be fine," he said quietly. Axel didn't seem convinced but he didn't add anything else.

"Can we see him?" the redhead asked. Zexion nodded and sniffled back a glob of snot again before he shuffled out of his seat. Axel pulled himself up from the ground and took Roxas' hand before they followed the other Charge down the hall. They wove through the little facility relatively quickly before Zexion stopped in front of a long row of windows. The blinds were open and created thin vertical obscurities but the view was clear enough.

Demyx looked to be sleeping, but the massive amounts of tubes and wires protruding from his mouth and upper body betrayed the serenity of the action. His chest was wrapped in bandages that could be seen over the top of his blanket. His hand was covered, though it was clear that nothing had been done to it yet. The unevenness of the lumps under the fabric was enough of an explanation. He was hooked up to a ventilator and a series of monitors. His arms were turned upright, exposing the undersides while a small tube came from either limb and dipped off to the sides of the bed. Next to him, on either side, were his sister Morgan and her charge Lilly who were attached to him by said tubes. Morgan's line was nearly black as she was sharing her Totem blood with him. Lilly's looked like the normal red human kind. Both women looked pale and extremely tired as they lay on their mostly empty beds. The rest of their company, Demyx's other sister and brother with their Charges, were on the sidelines in various chairs and benches, attempting to stay awake. It was a heart wrenching scene to see Demyx so indisposed and sickly even if his sleeping face seemed to be at peace underneath all of the plastic and silicone.

* * *

Zexion came back to the facility the next day around lunch time, but only briefly. He grabbed a shower and some clean clothes before heading out again to do Demyx's surgery on his hand. Mary attempted to talk to him, but he brushed her off with a barely uttered 'later' and disappeared again for the rest of the day. Axel and Roxas didn't have the morale to go out and do something together, not after seeing Demyx at the medical center. The day after that though, was a little better and they were able to talk a little more freely amongst their friends without the mood dropping too much. Riku and Sora had gone to visit Demyx as well and even the brunette was depressed and droopy. Mary stuck around and was constantly pestered by Ventus, who was the least effected still. She didn't give in to his advances, nor did she crack under the pressure to leave, but she was obviously hurting the longer she stayed.

Axel and Roxas didn't care all that much about her. She was overstaying her welcome something fierce and _everyone_ wanted her gone. They were determined to get out and do something together though, regardless of the way the air around them hung like a bunch of dead bodies. It was stifling and tense but as soon as they stepped outside to head to Yuffie's tailor shop, it eased a little. Ventus' order had come in and was waiting to be picked up but there was an additional package for Axel that Roxas hadn't realized was going to be there. Once there, the redhead disappeared into the back of the shop and didn't reappear for another twenty minutes. Yuffie was fluttering around Axel excitedly and fussing with him. It wasn't until Roxas could actually see the redhead that he understood why.

Axel had gotten new clothes. A whole boxful apparently. Not only that but he had opened the box and changed into an outfit while he was out of sight and came back dressed differently, and with his hair pulled back in a low ponytail. It had been so long since Roxas had seen the redhead in normal clothes he had almost forgotten what he looked like. The outfit was simple but not unlike the ones he had worn in Radiant Garden. The black jeans were tight and fit around his waist and thighs snugly before billowing out with excess fabric after the knees. The toes of his red and black sneakers peeked out from the bottoms of his pants which offset the vibrant red of his form fitting t-shirt rather well. There was a black and gray silkscreened organic pattern adorning the crimson fabric of no particular symmetrical design. In addition to his attire, Axel had also procured himself a simple silver ear cuff that sat halfway up the shell of his ear. Roxas had his suspicions that the piece of metal belonged to Yuffie. She had several of the adornments in her ears as well. He suspected that pulling Axel's hair back was also her idea. She was fussing with the hair tie and yanking the redhead's hair around into whatever order she felt comfortable with. Axel sighed and batted her away when she became to incessant and turned to Roxas. The blonde blinked at him a few times.

"What? Too dark?" Axel asked and looked at himself. Roxas hurriedly shook his head.

"No. Um…no," he stammered when he couldn't think of the words. Truth be told, Axel looked incredibly appealing but there was more to it than that. Roxas didn't recognize him as anyone other than Axel. Not his Genetics professor, not his Carrier, just Axel. With their pass from Ansem, the blonde was free to see him and treat him as a normal person without worrying about social ridicule. Well, maybe from homophobes but not from people that saw him as a bestial abomination anymore. He was going to go on a date with Axel. Like any normal person would do with the person they loved. It was a surreal feeling.

"Ax, you're so sexy," Yuffie twittered happily and patted him on the shoulder. Axel laughed as a bit of color rushed to his cheeks. "I'll hold onto your stuff with that other guy's and you can pick it up on your way home," she said. The redhead nodded.

"Thanks," he said. She grinned.

"No problem. Oh! I talked to Tifa and Zack the other day. They said their Carrier would be maturing soon and I may be able to be a Charge again!" she squealed. Axel grinned.

"That's great! I hope everything works out for you guys. Think you'll be able to handle it?"

"Psh! Easy!" Yuffie giggled. She turned his shoulders towards Roxas again and pushed him along towards the front of the store. "Enough about that though! You guys got work to do!" she insisted. Axel laughed and started walking on his own and she stood upright. The redhead went to the blonde and smiled. Roxas blinked and looked up at him with pinkened cheeks and wide eyes. Axel fidgeted a bit under his glossy gaze.

"Um… Roxas? We should probably go. Time's a'wasting," the redhead said hesitantly. The blonde blinked a few times. He nodded deftly before reaching for Axel's hand. The redhead smiled and laced their fingers together before waving with his free one and bidding their goodbyes to Yuffie.

"I want to go home," the blonde said when they got into the street again and began walking together. Axel furrowed his brows.

"What? Why?" he asked sadly.

"Because I need to get you in the bed. Like… right now," Roxas blurted. Axel's eyebrows shot up and he laughed.

"Well! I have no problem with that but we're already out here so we may as well enjoy ourselves a little before we head back," he said and leaned over and planted a firm kiss in the blonde's hair. Roxas smiled a bit.

"Yeah I know. I chock my neediness up to hormones, personally. Not to mention those pants give you an ass that's bigger than Tifa's."

"Really?" Axel asked and stopped walking to twist at his waist and looked behind himself. It wasn't really effective in getting a decent look at himself but he shrugged anyway, taking Roxas' word for it. The blonde laughed a little. The started walking again. "Wasn't there some sort of popular rap song about 'junk in the trunk' back in Radiant Garden?" the redhead asked idly after a few minutes. Roxas laughed again.

"There were _a lot_ of those. I don't think any of them referenced _male_ junk in the trunk though. I always got the impression those rappers were all about the ladies."

"True enough," Axel agreed. "I bet you like…at least twenty percent of those guys were flaming homosexuals behind closed doors though. Some of them have to be compensating for something. There is no way all of them can degrade women that much and not have some sort of complex. Hell, half the time I listened to any of them _I_ was insulted because they made it sound like all guys give a damn about is money and sex."

"Not much of a rap fan, are you?"

"Most of it has an okay beat, and if you can ignore the lyrics, it's fun to listen to. I have a hard time ignoring the lyrics though. It really bothered me when I was cruising around a music store and heard this little boy signing with this rapper while wearing one of those big sets of headphones that let you listen to music demos in the middle of the store. All I heard was 'bitch this' and 'fuck that' and there was even a 'cunt' thrown in and… it made my skin crawl. He couldn't have been older than six."

"Yikes. It makes me wonder where the kid's mother was."

"I have no idea. I didn't think they let the demos with the parental advisories be played through those things though. Apparently, I was mistaken. I'll admit it was partly the stores fault and the parent's fault, but it still bothers me. Free speech is nice, but there's a limit for things children should be able to listen to."

"We should invent a special filter that kids can wear that blocks out swear words and things pertaining to sex and replaces them with Morgan Freeman reading the phone book or something."

"Or like…kitten sounds. Could you imagine listening to someone and all of a sudden they make a random kitten meow and continue on like nothing weird happened? Cloud would be _awesome_ to listen to if we had one of those," Axel laughed. Roxas did as well. The redhead looked around and tugged on the blonde's hand when they came to a junction in the street.

"What?" Roxas questioned.

"Speaking of Cloud, he and Leon's house is the next street over. I want to breeze by and see if we can pick up on them doing something weird together," Axel said and grinned. The blonde raised a brow but followed after him, remembering the time the redhead and Demyx asked him along to listen to Leon getting a prostate exam. Now that he was more comfortable in his environment, not to mention his own skin, hearing something similar to that situation would prove to be entertaining. Only, when they reached the pair's street and jogged down a few houses from the corner, it was evident neither Leon nor Cloud were having any fun. In fact, it sounded like they were fighting.

Two blocks down from the home, they could already hear the yelling. Roxas wondered why he could hear them so clearly but then he remembered that none of the houses had glass in their windows. It was an easy thing to miss. The windows in the facility had glass in them, after all, and he was used to it. They slowed their pace when they neared the house and they both realized they couldn't understand what the pair inside was yelling about. Axel blinked a few times and raised a brow. The noise was coming from upstairs but it slowly filtered down as Leon and Cloud descended their staircase.

"What language is that? I've never heard anything like it," Roxas asked and furrowed his brows, trying to listen to the random babbling sounds and pick up something from his limited exposure to foreign dialects.

"Zack would probably know. He and Cloud are from the same plane," Axel said.

"Wait…not Radiant Garden's plane?" the blonde questioned.

"Right. I don't know anything about it. I've only heard them talk in it a few times and afterward I never have the courage to ask what it is only because they were always fighting when it happened. Cloud's probably really pissed if he can't even remember our tongue though."

"…Should we leave?"

"Fuck no. This is golden," Axel laughed. Roxas chuckled a bit and shook his head. The yelling inside the house grew louder as they stood in the living room, which was right in front of the door. Cloud said something. Leon said something. Cloud said something again. Then Leon said something. Then silence. Earth shattering silence.

"Uh oh," Roxas said. Axel chuckled and patted his shoulder.

" **OUT!** " Cloud screamed. Suddenly, Leon attempted to talk to him in a quieter, more subdued manner. His speech was quick and indiscernible to Axel and Roxas again but Cloud wasn't having any of it. Leon's babbling got closer and closer to the door before it suddenly swung open and the Carrier was shoved out of the house. The door slammed shut again and the lock clicked. Leon didn't even notice the two outside and he continued talking to the door for a few moments in whatever language Cloud understood. There was silence from inside and eventually Leon simply sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Axel and Roxas stayed silent and let Leon notice them. When he did, he jumped a little in surprise.

"What the hell are you two doing here? Stalkers," Leon grumped. Axel cracked a wide grin.

"Oh nothing. Just in the neighborhood. We felt the earth falling apart around us and decided to look into it. Sure enough, it was you two fighting again. I feel the love, Leon, I really do," the redhead said.

"Yes well… sometimes my brain to mouth filter doesn't work and I end up locked out of my own home. How's that for compassion?" Leon asked wryly. He looked Axel over. "Nice pants."

"Thanks," the redhead said and smiled. Roxas gave his hand an extra squeeze.

"Can I ask what it was all about? It's none of my business but I'm insanely curious," the blonde asked. Leon sighed again and rubbed the back of his neck, looking at his house. He looked to Roxas again before crooking a finger at them both and urging them to walk down the street with him. Once they were a few blocks down, Leon began speaking again.

"I was being an ass to him again and apparently he wasn't able to cope with the joking today. I should've stopped while I was ahead but then I said some things that were way out of line and…well…here I am. It's really my fault. So here I am, forced to act like a kicked dog and sulk around until he lets me back inside," Leon said with a sarcastic smirk.

"Damn, what did you say?" Axel asked.

"I said something about this girl he used to know in his former life and I should've never brought her up. She's a touchy subject but I forgot myself for a moment and let it slip. Ah well. He'll get over it eventually and hopefully I'll be able to sleep in my own bed tonight."

"Buy him some chocolates and flowers," the redhead teased.

"Oh no. Not flowers. That'd just add insult to injury. I'm not that stupid," Leon scoffed.

"Seriously? Is he allergic or something?" Roxas asked. Leon laughed. It was an empty, tired sound.

"No. He'd probably punch me and I'd be locked out for days. Flowers are reminders. He doesn't mind them so long as he isn't thinking about Aerith and, well, he's brooding about her right now. You two didn't hear that from me, by the way. I'm not even sure why I'm telling you all of this."

"You're upset," Axel said simply. He knew it was always easier to get information out of Leon when he was distracted by other things. Especially when it came to Cloud. The russet Carrier shrugged his indifference to the redhead's claim. They walked together quietly for another fifteen minutes before Leon stopped and looked around.

"What is it?" Roxas asked.

"Nothing. I was just thinking of where I could go to wait this out. I'm not feeling going back to the facility just yet. Anyway, I'll let you guys get back to whatever you were going to do," he said and waved a bit before taking a right and ducking between a couple of buildings. Axel and Roxas watched him leave and when he disappeared, they exchanged looks.

"Did that seem a little rushed to you?" Axel asked. Roxas nodded. The area they were in was still a housing district but the large wall of crystalline rock formations were close by, jutting from the ground dozens of feet into the air. The blonde looked them over carefully with a light smile as he watched the light bounce through them and forced them to glitter slightly. He still preferred plants but he couldn't deny that they were pretty. Leon had headed off toward them.

"I know it isn't my place but I want to know why he hurried off so quickly," Roxas said. Axel shrugged.

"Spying on people is always fun," he said with a sly grin.

"You're terrible."

"You know you want to hide and watch him though. He and Cloud are like a couple of zoo exhibits. They don't do much most of the time but when they do, it's fucking great."

"Yeah… I know," the blonde said with a sheepish half smile. Axel chuckled and laid a gentle kiss on his forehead before pulling his hand a bit and leading him towards the gap in the buildings Leon had taken.

The area Leon had wandered into had Roxas gaping at the dazzling scenery. In between the gaps in the wall of rock formations was a small clearing where smaller, yet still substantial, boulders had come to rest. They formed a lopsided amoeba-like shape and were just as clear and shining as the wall itself. The biggest difference though, was there were _plants_ inside the clearing. Steadily climbing vines surrounded by tufts of small thread-like flowering grasses littered the ground around Leon's feet as he paced, his bows pushed together as his mind raced with what he could do to rectify his problem. The sharp contrast between the jagged blue walls and the softness of the underbrush was astounding. The lighting helped considerably and the cyan ethereal atmosphere bounced off of everything, giving it an otherworldly feel. Both Axel and Roxas were extremely surprised to find something like this. Neither of them had any idea that such a place existed in their sterile city filled with cubes and geometric shapes. They quickly ducked behind a couple of boulders and waited for Leon to do something interesting.

The russet Carrier paced for the longest time with his hands folded behind his back and glaring eyes set to the ground. Eventually though, he stopped and let out a tired sigh. He resigned himself to staying where he was. He'd try going back to the house in a few hours. He looked around and saw that the vines had grown a bit higher than the last time he had been there and he gently plucked the delicate plants off of their home and let them droop off to the side. He made sure they were all out of his way before he pushed himself up into a space between two boulders and settled his back against one side and used the other as a foot rest. It was quickly becoming clear to Roxas and Axel that Leon had no intention of being interesting as the Carrier in question folded his arms over his stomach and closed his eyes gently.

Axel pulled Roxas' hand again and urged the blonde to follow him deeper in between the rocks. The blonde followed after him, looking around curiously. The way the lighting reflected made things a little disorientating. It was hard to tell where one wall ended and another started but so long as a path was cleared, they could manage to wander for another twenty minutes and not get hopelessly lost.

"What are we looking for?" Roxas asked after a while of silence.

"I'm not sure. I've never really paid attention to these rocks before. Like, I'm aware of them, but I never knew you could walk between them," Axel said.

"Sort of," the blonde added as they climbed over a small ledge and kept going. The path wasn't quite all on the same level and there was a fair bit of climbing to do, but nothing overly strenuous; a couple feet at best in the most difficult places. The path suddenly veered off to the right and they followed it for another few minutes before Roxas stopped suddenly with a light gasp.

"What?" Axel asked when he was tugged back. He looked to where the blonde was gaping and his jaw dropped as well.

"It's a tree!" Roxas cried and let go of Axel's hand to skitter off into the clearing. It was similar to the one Leon had been pacing in but there was far more overgrowth. The vines climbed several feet above Axel's head and the grassy tufts were spread out in a continuous bed over the entire floor. There were far less boulders littering the outskirts, but what was most important was the tree. It wasn't a huge one, but it was more than anything else the blonde's imagined. The whiteish bark led Roxas to believe it was some sort of birch, but its tiny green leaves were covered in a layer of fuzz and they confused him. The trunk itself was also a little strange. It looked like an olive tree, with its wide rope-like structure winding around itself and stretching the branches high into the air. It was probably only about twelve feet tall, but it was still amazing. The bark was smooth and held little damage, but was tinted a light blue from the surrounding rock walls.

"How the fuck is it growing in here? It doesn't get any water," the redhead asked and joined his Charge at the tree and ran his hands over its surface. He bent down and ghosted the palm of his hand over the grasses. They were incredibly soft and he smiled a bit. They reminded him of down feathers. Roxas braced himself on the tree with one hand and used the other to pull off his shoes and socks, tossing them towards the entrance of the clearing where they wouldn't damage anything. Axel blinked a few times and followed his lead.

"I feel weird being here," Roxas said and hugged himself a bit.

"I know. It's probably been here for years without anyone bothering it. I feel like we're trespassing," Axel agreed and tossed his shoes near Roxas'.

"I just… this is fantastic though," the blonde said and smiled. "It's been so long since I've seen something green and growing aside from grass. It makes my chest hurt a little."

"Aw. Homesick?" the redhead cooed and smiled. Roxas shrugged.

"Not specifically. It does remind me of Radiant Garden but I don't really consider it my home anymore. Besides, this tree has no bugs on it. If it was truly like Radiant Garden, there'd be ants all over it. If I see one, I might just pee my pants. But I don't, so I'm okay."

"Well that's a relief," Axel laughed.

"Pun intended?" Roxas asked.

"Most definitely."

"That's awful."

"I know."

"Do you think we should tell anyone about it though?" the blonde asked and turned to his Carrier with a thoughtful expression. Axel shrugged.

"I don't see why we have to. It's been fine for a while now, judging by its size. The scientist in me wants to dig around and figure out how it's surviving but my romantic side wants to keep it as is and not question it. I don't know if anyone else knows it's here and I kind of like the idea of a place we can go together to escape everything, you know?"

"That's corny, Axel," Roxas said with a smile.

"Well it's true. Sorry to kill the serene mood a little but I've been trying my damnest for the last three days to get some face time with you and between Ventus, Mary, and general chaos, I haven't been able to. If we had a toilet and some food, I'd spend the night here with you just so I can get some peace."

"We've never really truly been alone together, have we? Well aside from that one time in quarantine, but that doesn't really count, does it?" Roxas asked quietly, contemplating.

"Right. It's always been a little shaky. You're never alone when you can hear your neighbors talking outside your door. Let me rephrase though, since you brought up quarantine. We've never been truly alone and _happy_ together," Axel said, emphasizing his point. Roxas though for another moment before nodding.

"I can agree with that. It's not perfect, but I'm happier now than I think I've ever been. If Demyx was healthy, Ventus wasn't quite so irritating, and we had more Carriers, I'd be satisfied but on a general note? I can say that I'm happy. Everything that's 'wrong' will be rectified soon enough. I just have to be patient."

"I feel the same way," Axel said and smiled. Roxas smiled back. The redhead looked around thoughtfully for a place to sit that wouldn't crush too many delicate plants. There was a wide flat boulder several feet away and he stretched his legs as far as they would go and tip toed between the tufts of grass towards it. Most of the surface of the rock was clear save for a few stray vines, which he gently plucked away, mimicking Leon's actions. He pulled himself up onto it and shifted around so he could sit with his legs folded under him and beckoned Roxas closer. The blonde gently stepped along until he could reach the redhead's hands and put a foot on the side of the boulder for stability as Axel pulled him up. He clambered into the redhead's lap and settled in the pit his legs made, with his back against the Carrier's chest. Axel wove his arms around the blonde's waist and laid his cheek on his shoulder. Roxas relaxed back and rested his head against the redhead's. They both let out a relaxed sigh.

"I have a hard time believing no one has noticed this tree before though," Roxas admitted.

"I don't, really. None of the buildings in this dome are taller than the rocks and the tree isn't all that big. Any planes that fly overhead probably couldn't make out the details through the wavy glass so I'm not all that surprised," Axel said and turned his face to nuzzle his nose in the soft skin below Roxas' ear. The blonde smiled and closed his eyes.

"I assume we're not going to use our pass today?"

"Not right now, anyway," Axel chuckled. "Fuck restaurants, I like plants more."

"The novelty factor is a great contributor, I'll admit. I don't mind, but we can't stay here forever. Food needs to happen eventually at the very least."

"Damn bodily needs," the redhead said and laid a gentle kiss against the sensitive flesh. Roxas' skin ignited in a flurry of goosebumps in response but he shied away, forcing Axel to chase after him a little. The redhead obliged him and chuckled lowly, his arms tightening around the blonde's waist and pulling him back. He attacked his Charge's neck again, leaving a spattering of kisses on the side before circling around the back of his hairline and to the opposite side. He buried his face into the crook of Roxas' neck and hugged the blonde to himself tightly.

* * *

Cloud was not the daintiest person around, Leon knew. His footsteps were heavy and when coupled with the thick boots that he liked to wear all the time, the blonde was downright disastrous. God forbid someone wanted to use his glittering aqua eyes for any sort of character portrayal in a ballet. The production would fail so miserably, they would likely have to burn down the theatre just to get the insurance money to recoup the losses. So when Leon heard the plodding footsteps from across the planet, he knew Cloud was coming to find him. The Carrier smirked to himself knowingly but continued to keep his eyes closed and pretending to snooze lightly, like he had been on and off for several hours now. It was getting dark outside and he opened his eyes when he felt a finger prod him in the shoulder. He blinked a few times and looked to his Charge. Cloud glared at him with his arms folded over his chest.

"Come on," the blonde ordered flatly.

"Not angry anymore?" Leon asked.

"I am. But you're right. Regardless of how much it hurts, you're always right. The past is the past. I can't change it. After so many years you'd think it wouldn't affect me anymore, but I guess I'm less of a man than what I thought I was," Cloud said.

"Well, regardless of how you feel, I will admit that my actions were uncalled for. I apologize. Are you alright?"

"I will be."

"Anything I can do to help you along?" Leon asked and pushed himself up into a proper sitting position. Cloud sucked in a deep breath and let it out through his nose.

"Make me forget."

* * *

Axel's stomach let out a loud unhappy gurgle. Roxas' lips against his spread into a grin as he started to laugh. The redhead smiled as well though it was more of an embarrassed expression than anything else. They had spent the better part of their day together wrapped up in each other's limbs and neither of them wanted to part ways. But, the blonde's stomach was aching in agreement with Axel's, and though the cuddling and the pleasant conversations were nice, food needed to happen otherwise his innards were threatening to implode. Not to mention the lack of a bathroom was seriously putting a damper on being pressed together. The both shuffled off of the rock and tip toed through the grasses to the entrance to their little clearing. They pulled on their shoes again and laced fingers before heading back the way the came. They paid careful attention to how they got there; making mental maps of the path so they could come back another time. Perhaps tomorrow.

Axel headed down the path first with Roxas trailing behind him. He rounded the corner and peeked into the clearing where Leon had been, expecting to see it empty. He let out a strangled snort in surprise before he stopped quickly backed up. Roxas opened his mouth to say something but the redhead clamped a hand over his lips and pulled him back to their previous hiding place. The blonde furrowed his brows and peeked over the rocks to see what Axel was so flustered about. His eyes flew wide and the color rushed to his face. The Carrier grinned.

Leon had Cloud wedged into the crevice in the rocks where he had been taking his nap, on his back, with the bottom half of his body completely exposed to the world, with his legs wide open. They were completely engrossed in each other as they practically sucked the skin from each other's faces. Leon's shorts were precariously loose around his hips but it was obvious what he was doing as has he languidly moved against his Charge, causing Cloud to grunt softly against his tongue.

"Oh god…" Roxas squeaked embarrassedly and covered his eyes with his hands. Axel chuckled quietly and patted him on the back.

"Apparently they made up," he whispered.

"Yeah, but I didn't need to _see_ it," the blonde shot back.

"They might see us if we try to sneak past."

"I'm willing to risk it."

"I say we head back to the tree for now if you don't want to watch."

"Why the _fuck_ would I want to watch?" Roxas asked quietly with a light glare. Axel shrugged.

"I have no idea. I think it's funny. They're so boring."

"You…You're not right in the head sometimes, you know that?"

"Hey. I get entertainment from whatever I can. People should make a movie about those two; they're so random and confusing. Seeing them have sex like normal people reminds me that they're people too. Not only that, it reassures me that they don't actually hate each other like they let everyone think. As a friend, I feel better knowing that they have intimate moments because it's less bullshit I have to deal with," the redhead explained with a grin.

"If you say so. I think you're just a dirty bastard that gets off on Leon and Cloud porn," Roxas said with a raised brow.

"Eh. Not really. Did you want to feel? I'm not all that excited," Axel offered, pushing his hips forward a little to accentuate his point. Roxas shook his head.

"Later. Let's leave them alone," he said and crawled across the ground back towards the tree. Axel chuckled and gave the mating pair one last glance before following after his Charge.


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 64**

For the next hour, Axel and Roxas moved back and forth between the tree and the clearing where they had found Leon and Cloud. At the hour and twenty minutes mark, the enraptured pair finally left, allowing Axel and Roxas to escape without bodily harm. Both of them were absolutely starving and in desperate need of a restroom by that point and they skittered back to Yuffie's tailor shop as quickly as they could. It was getting late, and though their pass allowed Axel into certain establishments, it didn't free him of the Carrier curfew. Neither of them seemed to mind that they had spent the day traipsing around in accidental nature; the point was to spend time together and that's what they did. They used Yuffie's bathroom, picked up the boxes of clothing and headed back to the facility for a little food before sleep. Well, a meal, then sex, and then sleep.

The next day was relatively peaceful. Ventus was happy to have some normal clothes to wear again and flitted around in his room with his arms full of books to read. He only came out to eat, which Roxas was perfectly fine with. Mary was still hanging around and they figured out that she had asked around and found a bedroom that was unoccupied to sleep in. The other men in facility kept giving her odd looks whenever she would walk around the halls. The redhead and the blonde were both beginning to wonder if she would ever leave. It was slowly becoming clear that she was in fact, Xigbar's Charge. They knew she was already but their personalities were similar, which seemed all too fitting. They were both as stubborn as a mule with a temper to match. The only difference was that Mary was a little more couth in the way she handled herself.

Zexion and Demyx came back to the facility after lunchtime. The sandy blonde was ushered into their lab and immediately immersed in the Diagnostic Care Center where he would stay for several weeks. Zexion was not pleased, obviously. Mary was quick to find them though and stood around in their lab until the other Charge relented and paid attention to her.

"What did you need to tell me?" Zexion asked tersely after ignoring the girl for a good twenty minutes.

"Listen. I'm trying my hardest to do the right things but everything sort of blew up in my face so I'm having a hard time. You have no idea how guilty I feel for what's happened and if I could go back a week and try again, I would. I'm… I'm so sorry for what Xigbar did," she said and stepped a few feet closer to him. Zexion gave her a stony expression and it didn't falter even when her eyes began to tear up.

"I don't blame you personally anymore. I did initially. If Demyx was that upset I doubt I would've been able to stop him either."

"Thank you. That means a lot," she sighed and wiped at her eyes. "Originally, I was going to call you two and tell you some things."

"I assume that you're with child?"

"…Yes," she said flatly. "Is it that obvious?" she asked and looked down at her abdomen. She didn't think she was showing yet. Her pants weren't even tight.

"Not physically, no. What else would have Xigbar so upset though? Why else would you even bother talking to us? I never got the impression from Demyx that he made friends with you officially," Zexion said and stepped away from the Diagnostic Care Center to go into the storage closet in the back of the lab.

"I suppose that's true," Mary agreed and followed him for a few feet to keep him in earshot. Zexion reemerged from the closet with a large tarp-like cloth. He pulled a chair across the floor behind himself as he headed to the Diagnostic Care Center again. "What do you think?" Mary asked.

"Personally, I wonder where the confusion is. You've confirmed that it's his child?" he asked and set the chair in front of the large glass cylinder where Demyx floated peacefully.

"…Yes."

"You've done a DNA test and it wasn't Xigbar's?"

"I… I was on my menstrual cycle during the quarantine and he doesn't touch me when I'm on it, so I wasn't pregnant before I went. We… I haven't been able to have intercourse with him…because…I'm scared. I don't blame Demyx but it wasn't the best experience for me. And…well I've missed two cycles already and I took a test and found out I'm pregnant and so, here I am," she said hesitantly, the color coming to her cheeks slightly to show her embarrassment.

"I see," Zexion said flatly and stepped onto the chair and held one end of the cloth and let it unfold itself to the floor. He tossed the fabric over the cylinder to conceal Demyx, who was, aside from his bandages, completely exposed. He knew the Carrier didn't care about his nudity all that much but Zexion still felt he shouldn't be seen like that by anyone other than him. He stepped off the chair when he was finished and pulled it back to where he had found it.

"No opinion?" the girl asked.

"Again, I wonder where the confusion is. I'm surprised Xigbar hasn't forced an abortion on you yet. We don't have the capabilities to take care of a human child, so essentially we're out of the equation."

"Well…there may be a way for Xigbar and me to keep it."

"…Why would you put Demyx through that?" Zexion asked angrily and gave the girl a harsh look. "Unless you're willing to allow him to be an active part of the child's life, you would be torturing him. You apparently have no idea what he's like and how much he desperately wants children. _Any_ children. Talking about how behind our program is for any length of time is enough to bring him to tears. Don't be heartless."

"So you would rather I murder the child so he _never_ has the opportunity to make a connection?" she asked, a firm inflection hinting under her calm voice. "What about you? Would you even care about it?"

"I'm not involved. I will support Demyx through whatever your decision is but I don't have a say in what happens. I know him though. He would be less heartbroken about an abortion. To have the child live and grow through a lifetime without him is far more torturous. To prevent it would be saving him the continuous distress. I can guarantee that tears will be shed for the child's life but at the very least he won't be weeping for however long the child lives. Surely Demyx would outlive it if you don't intend to pay for stasis treatments."

"We wish to. Parents shouldn't outlive their children. Xigbar and I still have a role to fill, after all. The work isn't finished and neither are we. We both value life. The option of abortion doesn't sit well with either of us and since we're the ones who would be raising this child, it is ultimately our decision, like you said. I came to you as a gesture of courtesy and respect. I didn't expect to be greeted so harshly but I can see now that you, Zexion, have no soul if you're intending on guilting me into doing something that is against my beliefs," Mary said sternly.

"I'm not guilting you into anything. You wanted an opinion and I gave you one. Demyx and I are extremely close and I know what he would prefer. The ideal situation is to not have this happen at all, but we can't ask that much. I can guarantee you that Demyx will be hurt, regardless of the outcome. Even if you put the child up for adoption, he would still want to know what's going on with it. But who in this world is going to adopt a Carrier's offspring? If you feel I have no soul simply because I speak the truth, then that's your own prerogative. If you're going to do whatever it is you want without any consideration towards Demyx's feelings, then I will hold ill will towards you, but I can't stop you."

"Ill will?" Mary questioned.

"I don't enjoy seeing Demyx in pain. Doing whatever you want with his child without giving him any say is just plain heartless. It'll rip him to pieces and thus, you won't be making friends with me anytime soon. I will not welcome your company."

"What makes you think I wanted your company in the first place? Like I said I'm talking to you out of courtesy and respect because you both deserve to know. If this is how the air between us will be, then so be it. I've said my peace. I will contact you with our decision in the near future," Mary said and gave him an indignant scoff before leaving the lab with her nose in the air. Zexion watched her leave with a stone faced and uncaring expression. Once the doors swung closed and she was out of earshot he allowed his face to show how he was truly feeling. He sat heavily in a chair and held his face in his hands, attempting to keep himself silent as quiet sobs racked his body. He didn't have the strength to go through such an ordeal by himself and though he knew what Demyx would say, the fact that the Carrier _couldn't_ say it upset him more than anything else. It was too personal of a subject to talk with anyone else about and for the first time in over ninety years, Zexion felt completely alone and lost.

He could remember those feelings clearly from before he crossed the dimensional threshold with Demyx. They never truly left him completely. More like they had been pushed to the sidelines in favor of flooding himself with the sunshine that Demyx brought him. He knew it was a bad place to be and that he shouldn't let himself fall so quickly but he couldn't help himself. He felt like Mary had punched a hole in his chest and ripped out his heart to do with as she pleased. She was carrying Demyx's child, something that they had discussed together for decades. A family that would start from infancy and grow before their eyes; a beautiful existence that they could share together. Mary didn't deserve to be a part of that even if it wasn't her fault that she was involved. Least of all _Xigbar_. Zexion had a hard time believing that the overbearing canine Carrier would let the child live with the belief that _he_ was its father versus Demyx. The ensuing ridicule wouldn't make for a healthy childhood.

Axel pushed the doors to Zexion and Demyx's lab open gently to peek inside. The Charge's back was to him but it was obvious from the way his shoulders were shaking and how he held his face, that he was upset. The redhead had seen Mary leave (finally) and came to see what she had said. Axel was the only other one aside from Demyx that knew what Zexion's previous life was truly like. His sandy blonde friend had told him nearly everything about their life together on Zexion's home plane. The steely-haired Charge's suicidal tendencies, his reckless teenage years, his tortured home life after he had been forced to marry some woman he barely knew, everything. Axel feigned surprise whenever Zexion admitted to something about his previous life but the truth was, he knew it all. Seeing his friend so upset though, sent off a few alarms for the redhead and he stepped into the lab to offer his assistance.

"Zexion?" he asked quietly. The Charge startled a bit and sat straight and wiped at his face before turning to the redhead.

"Yes?" he asked quietly.

"Are you going to be alright? Do I need to put you on watch?" Axel asked, referring to suicide watch. Zexion sniffled a bit and swallowed thickly.

"I don't… I don't think so," he said after a bit of hesitation. Zexion was aware of himself and knew he was slipping, but he couldn't quite bring himself to think that he would actually harm himself. Demyx's healing process was temporary after all, and he wouldn't want to leave the Carrier by himself but the prospect of spending the rest of his life with a tortured soul was daunting. Really, had Mary been a little more responsive, he probably wouldn't have been so upset but his jumbled mind couldn't make cohesive sense of everything just yet. It was too fresh.

"You don't _think_ so?" the redhead asked and raised a brow. Zexion fidgeted a bit.

"Right," he agreed.

"Would it be too much to ask you to spend some your time with Roxas and I for a day or two?" Axel asked carefully. Zexion flexed his jaw a little with his contemplation. He looked to the Diagnostic Care Center briefly before looking back to the redhead again.

"I can do that. Did you two want help with anything?"

"If you're willing to work, I have no problem giving you stuff to do. So long as you're all right though. It's been a rough week so far. Don't push yourself too much. Will you tell me if you're having a hard time?"

"Yes, I just… need a distraction for a little while," Zexion said and pushed himself out of his chair.

* * *

After a day of doting after Zexion, Roxas and Axel were getting ready for bed when they received a call on the Catalogue terminal in their room. Axel was still mostly nude from his shower and he decided against wearing a pillow this time around so Roxas was forced to answer. He pulled the door open to the little room that held the terminal and shuddered a bit when the enormous stuffed Tigger stared at him blankly from its spot in the corner. He plunked into the cold metal seat and answered. He was surprised to find Ansem on the screen, looking rather aloof but not angry.

"Roxas," the Technician stated sternly. The blonde sat up a little straighter.

"Yes?" he asked.

"I'm going to be perfectly honest and tell you I am not pleased with your report about this 'Ventus' person whom you feel should become a Charge. Need I remind you it is my responsibility as well as everyone under my tutelage to find proper candidates?" he asked impatiently with a slight glower. Roxas blinked a few times, slowly registering what the man was talking about.

"No, I understand that," the Charge defended.

"And you do understand that you are a Charge? You rejected my offer of becoming a Technician if I remember correctly."

"Yes, I know."

"Good. I'm glad we understand each other then. Be that as it may, you are not the first Charge to ever send me this sort of proposition, though yours is a little more outrageous than some of the others," Ansem said and relaxed back into his seat, his posture becoming more casual and easier to look at. Roxas furrowed his brows.

"Really? How many others asked?"

"Only a few hundred or so over the years. Varying types of Carriers and all that as well. It's not common but not unheard of. It's true that the Technicians attempt to keep Carrier business amongst the system but there are a lot of things that are required by the government to be a matter of public record. It's really no surprise to me that some of the general public might be interested in what we do, but very few of them are brought to my attention in such a manner. As I said, you're not the first to stumble upon someone who wants to be part of it."

"Oh. Well that makes me feel a little better. I feel less weird asking about it knowing I'm not he first. Were any of those people accepted into the program though? Or are you telling me to cut Ventus loose?"

"Only three of them were rejected. The rest were accepted after a rigorous training process and months of screening," Ansem said. Roxas's eyebrows shot up in his surprise. The Technician reached off screen and took up his tablet and began scrolling through the information therein. "The biggest issue that I see with this individual is that he has a terrible work history and is harboring a strain of HIV. Correct?" Ansem asked.

"That's correct. I'm not exactly thrilled with it either," the blonde agreed and relaxed back in his seat. He winced a bit when the backs of his arms rested against the cold metal but he ignored it.

"What's keeping him from running off if we cure him of it, I wonder?"

"You make a good point, but I honestly don't see that happening. Even before we made our intentions clear to him, he wanted to be a part of this. Before we knew what he was like, before we knew he was sick, before we knew his profession, hell even before we knew his _name_ he's wanted this. I can't imagine he's only in it for the cure."

"I see. You trust him, then?"

"…Enough for it to matter. I trust him enough to give him a chance."

"You don't sound very convinced."

"It's more of a personal thing for me. I don't doubt that he wants it, and I don't doubt that he has the ability to do the work. Just his mannerisms and his history irk me a bit but that can clear up given enough time, I think. He just doesn't have that time if we don't help him first."

"I can agree with that. You don't have to like him in order to work with him that much is true. It would help if you did get along though."

"We get along enough to be called 'co-workers' but nothing more than that."

"How does Axel feel?"

"He's all for it. And…I'll adjust for him if I have to," Roxas said quietly, a light blush coming to his cheeks reluctantly.

"How noble. I'm glad to see your past has finally left you and you can accept your role fully, regardless of what all of that entails for you both."

"Y-yeah…" the blonde stammered and chewed on his lip as his cheeks grew a few shades darker. Ansem chuckled.

"Well, I am willing to give Ventus a chance to make something of himself. It's not going to be easy but I welcome the opportunity to push some of my workload off on you if you're going to accept it. Are you prepared for it all? Axel may have to work on your Carrier project by himself for a few weeks so you can get all the information to me."

"Um…yes? I mean, I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"Not if you want to go through with this. There is much to do and I expect diligence."

"Of course. I'll…I'll do my best. Should I tell Ventus right away? Are you going to cure him before or after everything?"

"I'll wait for the first series of reports before I make a decision about his health. Hopefully he can hold out until then. It hasn't progressed any, has it?"

"Not that I can tell."

"Fine. He has time then. If anything new comes up, I'll be here. Expect a load of templates and reports to be sent to you before the end of the week though. I wouldn't dawdle too much if I were you," Ansem warned. Roxas nodded.

"I won't. Thank you," he said and smiled, though there was a lump in the pit of his stomach forming from the foreboding unknown. Ansem nodded and gave him a smile in return before ending the transmission. Roxas swallowed thickly and disconnected his watch from the terminal before padding back out into the bedroom. Axel raised a brow at him as he brushed his hair, dressed in a pair of loose fitting pajama pants. They would be having an additional party sleep with them that evening, one they really couldn't ignore for fear of causing more problems.

"What's up?" Axel asked and set his hairbrush aside and raked his fingers through his damp follicles.

"Ansem is going to give Ventus a shot," Roxas said hesitantly. Axel blinked a few times before he brightened considerably and smiled.

"Really? That's great!" the redhead said. The blonde nodded. "You don't seem very thrilled. Having second thoughts?"

"No, I'm just a little intimidated with the amount of work that needs to be done. Ansem said he wanted 'diligence' but I think he's leaning more for 'perfection' since I'll essentially be doing his job for him, you know?"

"Well I can help. You're not in this by yourself. Should we expect a cure for him soon?"

"After a little while, I think. Ansem wants to test the waters first."

"Understandable," Axel agreed and went to the blonde. Roxas reacted immediately and they wrapped each other in a firm embrace. The redhead grinned and kissed the top of his Charge's hair. "Zexion should be here soon."

"This is going to be awkward…" the blonde said. The Carrier chuckled and leaned back from their hug to make eye contact.

"He just needs some comfort. Seriously, if you had Demyx hanging on you for ninety years and suddenly he wasn't there to share the bed with you, wouldn't you feel like it's a little empty? Plus, I don't really trust him enough to be by himself right now."

"I know. I just hope he doesn't snore."

"I doubt it. If anything he might suffocate on his hair which could be funny."

"Only if he doesn't die, I hope?"

"Of course," Axel grinned. There was a light knock on their door and they both looked to it briefly. The looked to each other again and pressed together for a quick kiss before they parted ways. The redhead went to go find himself a shirt while Roxas went to the door. Zexion was standing there waiting for him, like they had anticipated, but with his eyes to the floor with his hair hiding most of his face.

"I feel childish," he blurted. Roxas smiled.

"Don't worry about it. We don't think any less of you."

"Yes, well, as nice as that sounds it doesn't exactly do much for my dignity. No offense."

"None taken. Come in," the blonde urged and opened the door for him the rest of the way. Zexion shuffled in and Roxas closed the door again.

"I like sleepovers," Axel twittered with a giddy snort. Roxas laughed a bit.

"I didn't think I'd be having one in my twenties," the blonde said. The redhead scoffed.

"Roxas, the first week of my life here was spent in the bed with _Leon_. If that isn't awkward as hell, I don't know what is. Especially since he already had Cloud here by that point. It wasn't like he was just some random Carrier that was by himself."

"…Creepy," Roxas remarked and pulled the covers down.

"We should call Sora and Riku and get them in on this," the redhead snickered.

"No thanks, Sora kicks."

"Does he? That's a shame."

"Riku probably has to tie his legs together and to a post to keep him in place so he can sleep."

"Good thing the beds are big," Axel grinned. The insinuation made the blonde groan and rub his face with an exasperated sigh. The redhead lifted the other side of the covers and deposited himself in the bed. Roxas shuffled in from the other side close to him and they both looked to Zexion who was hesitating.

"Are you sure this is alright with you two?" he asked quietly. Axel nodded.

"Sure. No big deal," he said. Roxas patted the mattress and Zexion heaved a little sigh before he scooted across the carpet and stiffly plopped himself in the bed. Roxas and Axel settled back against the pillows together and the redhead wove an arm around the blonde's midsection and hugged him close. Zexion avoided eye contact and slowly inched down under the covers and pulled them up to his chin. He cast an unsure glance at the other members of the party before he reached over to the side table to turn off the light. He settled back again and curled up into a tiny ball, pulling the covers over most of his face. Roxas' eyes were already closed and he was attempting sleep, but Axel watched Zexion's body language with worried eyes. Zexion was quiet, sure, but he had never seen him look so timid and… weak. For once in his life, the redhead was thankful he was a light sleeper. If Zexion moved and tried to leave for whatever reason, he would be caught quickly. Axel only hoped the Charge could hang on to what little stability he had left until Demyx was better, otherwise the redhead wasn't sure he could forgive himself if he let Zexion do something drastic.

* * *

Ventus yawned and stretched his arms far over his head, arching his back in the process and earning himself a very satisfying ' _pop_.' Sleeping in a bed that wasn't full of lumps and didn't squeak was doing wonders for him and he found himself actually enjoying the waking up process. The only problem was, he was getting a little lonely. He had shared his bed with so many people in the past it was almost becoming a chore to fall asleep without someone. Waking up alone wasn't a problem. Usually if anyone spent the night with him, they were gone before he woke up so he was used to it. He almost wished that random Mary girl had taken him up on his offer just so he could have an extra warm spot to lie in.

Scratching a light itch that was on his stomach, he hauled himself out of the bed and plodded around the room and tried to decide what to wear for the day. He blearily blinked at his clothing before giving up and deciding that he should shower first. After that was accomplished and he had brushed his teeth, he shrugged off any serious decision making and picked a pair of pants and a shirt at random. Dressed and clean, he exited his room and looked around. He still didn't really know anyone and was still getting strange looks from the unfamiliar faces, but he shrugged it off. If they wanted to get to know him, they were allowed to, but staring at him wasn't a way to get his attention.

The cafeteria was empty for the most part, as was Roxas and Axel's lab. He didn't even have a proper clock to tell what time it was though the sun had risen so he didn't know when they would wake up. He looked to his pile of text books, and then around the room. The boxes of Blanks had been stacked neatly on one side and everything was clean. His eyes fell on the gestational tank and he had a thought. Searching through his books, he quickly found the one that would help him figure out the controls of the Gestational Terminal. Pulling up a chair, he sat in front of the machine and poked away at its keyboard, following the guide the book provided for him. He managed, after about ten minutes, to pull up the growing Carrier's genetic map. He searched around for a moment before he was able to find the model of what the Carrier was projected to look like when she was matured; the one Axel and Roxas had built together when they were first setting her up.

"Ooo…" Ventus cooed to himself as he looked the female over. Who knew such a stuck up asshole like Roxas would make such cute kids? Then again, he was fully aware that he looked very much like the blonde Charge and would probably produce kids just as cute if given the chance. He smiled. He was thoroughly pleased with her appearance. If only she had a hair and eye color.

"What are you doing?" came a sudden voice from behind him. He startled and turned around in his seat quickly. Roxas was standing a few feet away with his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. Axel wasn't anywhere in the immediate vicinity.

"Looking," Ventus said as innocently as he could. He held up the book. "I figured the buttons out. Aren't you proud of me?" he asked teasingly with a wide grin. Roxas' scowl slowly faded.

"You did?" he asked and stepped closer, peering over the older blonde's shoulder. "Huh. You were just looking?"

"Yeah. I was curious about what I was waiting for. She's cute."

"Oh. Okay."

"…That's it? Just okay? You're not going to yell at me?"

"No. Why? Should I?"

"Well no, but it's a little hard to believe," Ventus said skeptically.

"I figure I better get used to it. I got a call from Ansem last night."

"Yeah?" the older blonde asked as he closed the book and gave Roxas his full attention.

"You're allowed to stay. He doesn't actually know you're _living_ here already, but you're allowed into the program for now. You won't be official yet until we do a bunch of paperwork and cut a bunch of red tape, but you're in for the time being. He's going to send me a bunch of things we need to get accomplished but do me a favor and don't fuck this up."

"I won't! You're serious though?" Ventus asked and stood quickly. Roxas nodded. Ventus immediately dropped the book and threw his arms around the other blonde. He squashed Roxas' face into his chest and squeezed him with all his might. The younger blonde let out a strangled yelp as his airway constricted. He attempted to push away from Ventus, but the older blonde was too strong for him. He was released abruptly but hands on his shoulders kept him in place. Ventus was grinning from ear to ear. "You've made me so fucking happy I could kiss you."

"Yeah, don't do that," Roxas said with lightly furrowed brows.

"I'm not going to but I could. I seriously could and I wouldn't even care."

"I would though," Axel interjected abruptly. Roxas looked over his shoulder and Ventus stood a little straighter though his grin didn't fade. The redhead went to them quietly and peeled Ventus' hands off of Roxas and slowly backed the younger blonde up. Roxas staggered backwards until his back was against Axel's front. The redhead leaned down and wrapped his arms around his Charge and gave Ventus a light glare. "This is my Roxas. Not yours. Get your own," he huffed. Ventus laughed.

"I know. Sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate anything. I'm just excited."

"That's fine. But no touchy," the redhead said and tugged Roxas to the side a little, further away from Ventus. The older blonde put his hands up defensively with a smile.

"Deal. Do you guys have plans again today?" he asked.

"We do. Zexion has graciously given us permission to go out while he stays here and starts showing you things. I would appreciate it if you don't leave him alone for very long. He's still pretty upset about Demyx and needs some companionship but insists we leave because he thinks he's being a burden. Which is nonsense," Axel said with a light sigh. He stood upright again and let Roxas escape his grasp. The blonde didn't move away and opted for simply holding his hand instead.

"Ah. Tag team babysitting. I watch him, he watches me. Love it," Ventus chuckled.

"Don't get all queer on him, please," Roxas asked. Ventus laughed.

"Me? Queer? Never," he scoffed.

"I'm serious."

"I know. I promise I won't be too weird."

"Fine," Roxas sighed. "Going to breakfast?"

"I could eat," the older blonde agreed. Roxas nodded and tugged Axel's hand, and the three of them left in search of sustenance.

* * *

"Keep an eye on him. Don't let him get carried away," Roxas requested. Zexion nodded.

"Of course. Everything's safe with me. Have fun," the steely-haired Charge said and gave the blonde a small smile.

"You're sure?"

"Roxas, I appreciate the concern, but I'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Axel's waiting."

"Alright. Thank you," he sighed. They parted ways with a light wave, Zexion heading down the hall towards Axel and Roxas' lab while the blonde went in the opposite direction and met up with his Carrier who was waiting for him outside in front of the facility. Axel's choice in wardrobe was substantially brighter that day. He chose to wear a pair of faded blue jeans that were looser than his black pair, much to Roxas' chagrin. His shoes were relatively plain and white with small blue stripes adorning the sides. His shirt was lightweight with long sleeves though the purpose of those sleeves was unknown since he had chosen to roll them up to his elbows. The cloth itself was adorned with a very simple graphic of a geometrically shaped forest in a deep blue along the bottom hem. The shirt was white otherwise. Yuffie's ear cuff was back but Axel let his hair lay unrestricted. Once he caught sight of Roxas coming out of the building he smiled and extended his hand. The blonde took it without a word and they began walking.

They had two hours to take their time walking around before they had to find the movie theater. So really, they had less time than that since they both only had a vague idea of where the building was. The day had dwindled by at a relatively easy pace earlier. Zexion hadn't been too tough to be around and helped out in the lab for a few hours before going to check on Demyx and coming back to do more work. He seemed to be holding up alright, but after the stories Demyx had told him, Axel was still a little wary. Even if Zexion was a grown man and could very well take care of himself, a small part of him couldn't help but feel something was amiss. He hoped it was just his imagination and that spending the rest of the day with Roxas would help him get past it.

The movie theater wasn't very crowded when they finally found it. It was a very small building with only three different show rooms which only held maybe a dozen rows of seats each. The movie selection was minimal but the content wasn't important. The point was to use their pass to do what they pleased and the novelty of watching a movie together was a little too great to pass up. Axel led the blonde by the hand to the back of their show room. The seats they chose were in the very last row, far in the back corner of the room and right up against the walls. Roxas chewed on his lip to keep back a snicker, knowing that neither of them would actually be watching the movie. Thankfully, the only other two pairs of people in the room with them were at least a few rows ahead of them and actually seemed to care about what was on the screen.

"How long is this thing?" Roxas asked as he plunked down in his seat next to the redhead.

"I have no idea, like three hours or something. I don't even know who's in it or what the title is," Axel grinned. The blonde snorted.

"Wow. This feels like high school. 'Let's go to the movie theater to pay ten bucks for tickets to a show we're not even going to watch because we'll be too busy making out,' yep, that sounds about right."

"That's nothing, look," Axel said and lifted the armrest that was between them so they shared one continuous couch-like seat. All of the seating was one large metal bench after another with plastic covered cushions and movable armrests every few feet. Roxas chewed his lip again as he got a thought and reached over and pushed the next armrest up as well so they had even more room. The redhead shifted and draped a leg on the bench and leaned against the wall he held his arms open. The blonde settled against his torso comfortably and stretched the rest of himself along the seat. Axel smiled and ran his fingers through the flaxen locks a few times.

"This place is practically begging for inappropriate PDA," Roxas grumbled and rubbed his face against the redhead's stomach.

"I'm perfectly fine with that," Axel chuckled. Roxas grinned.


	65. Chapter 65

Chapter 65

After a half an hour of attempting to pay attention to the movie they had paid to see, one thing was becoming clear: it was awful. Neither Axel nor Roxas knew enough about general society outside of their dome to actually understand the jokes and the humor that the other people in the show room with them seemed to get and laugh at. It was a poorly made out plan on their part as far as entertainment went but Axel was almost grateful he was normally barred from coming into movie theaters. They were a waste of money for him anyway now that he was able to witness one. Now, he would trade movie theaters for a working television any day. At least then he could watch the news and figure out how people interacted with one another on a regular basis and feel like he was part of the proverbial social loop.

While the redhead glared at the screen in a futile attempt to understand _why_ Josie thought it was so incredibly funny that Don's Aero wasn't working properly, Roxas had given up a while ago and settled for watching the light bounce through Axel's eyes, making them glint and shift like a cat's in the dark. Which was fitting, but still fascinating. It took Axel a few minutes to realize the blonde was watching him, but when he did, the movie was suddenly completely irrelevant. Roxas smiled at him. Axel smiled back. The blonde made a thoughtful face and chewed on his lip a bit as he looked around. He pushed himself up and tapped on the redhead's thigh that was attached to the leg that was hanging off of the bench. Axel took the hint and pulled his other leg up, Roxas moved so he could do so, and crossed the limbs at his ankles. The blonde deposited himself on his Carrier's lap, straddling the limbs comfortably.

The redhead encircled his Charge in his arms and laced his fingers behind his back, settling them in the curve of his spine. Roxas' hands immediately went up and started combing through the vermillion follicles. Axel smiled and closed his eyes and leaned his face towards the touch. The blonde smiled a little wider as his hand moved down and forward, wedging a finger in between the area where the redhead's ear met his head. Axel's face went a little more slack as Roxas rubbed gently, an amused grin slowly making its way from his lips. After only a moment though, the redhead turned his face which forced the blonde's hand to fall away from the sensitive spot. Axel laid a kiss on his palm before opening his eyes and taking the hand in his.

"You're putting me to sleep with that," the redhead whispered with a small smile.

"Good to know," the blonde responded just as quiet. Axel gently massaged Roxas' fingers with his thumbs before replacing the hand on his face and leaning his cheek against it, holding it in place with his own. The blonde smiled at the tender gesture and brought his free hand up to cup the other cheek before leaning in for a chaste kiss. He pulled away, but just barely, and purposefully bumped noses with the redhead gently. Axel smiled again and pressed their foreheads together, letting his eyes drift closed again and reveling in the closeness.

The moment was short lived. Neither of them noticed the person approaching them until Roxas' airway was suddenly cut short by his shirt being pulled backwards tight against his throat. He was yanked away from the redhead and Axel's eyes flew opens and he blinked confusedly for a split second as suddenly his lap was void of additional weight. In the darkness, there was a very large and very male figure lifting Roxas into the air by his shirt with a set of gleaming teeth clenched in an angry snarl.

" _You_ ," the angry man spat, causing everyone in the show room to startle and look behind them. "You ruined my life!" he bellowed into the blonde's face a mere second before his fist collided with Roxas' mouth, forcing the Charge to let out a strangled yelp in surprise. Axel was on his feet in an instant. The man was nearly as tall as he was but twice as bulky. Not that it mattered any, but it made lifting him a little more awkward. His hand closed around the offender's throat easily and Roxas was instantly dropped onto the next row of seats, flopping strangely between the arm rests and partially onto the floor under them. The man gagged around Axel's hand as he was lifted from his feet a few inches off of the floor. The other people in the show room started to talk excitedly amongst themselves before hurriedly making their ways out to find someone to assist them.

"Don't you fucking lay your hands on him!" the redhead sneered with a menacing growl at the man before whipping his arm around and smacking the body into the wall behind them. He pulled their faces close. "Do you understand me?" he roared into the frightened visage before him. The man coughed a reply, staring with wide eyes at the Carrier's teeth and glinting furious eyes. The remnants of Axel's voice bounced off the walls, echoing into the assailant's ears as he managed a vague nod. The redhead released him and he fell to the floor with a loud thud, before he let out a series of ragged coughs and gasps. The Carrier leapt over the seats and crouched to help Roxas pull himself up out of his awkward position. Once on his feet again, the blonde let out a pained hiss and touched his lip, pulling his fingers away and finding blood. Axel frowned.

The lights flew on, making everyone squint at the intrusion. The redhead was less concerned about that though and took his Charge's face in his hands and looked the busted lip over. Roxas winced a bit. The offending man was able to pull himself to his feet just in time to be mobbed by a pair of uniformed theater security 'officers.' Not that Roxas and Axel had any reason to believe that they were any sort of legitimate authority figures, since they had seen the same people behind the concession stands out front, but they pulled the man towards the doors none the less. The man struggled with a series of angry screams and a lot of foul language.

"That asshole is fucking animals now!" the man bellowed causing both Carrier and Charge's eyebrows to furrow together. "Let me go! There's a Carrier in here! The tall one!" he struggled. The movie theater staff froze, holding the man in place but turning their attention to the pair in between the seats. One of the staff members dropped the man's arm and came towards them. Roxas immediately started to dig in his back pocket for their pass and handed it to the staff member as soon as he was in arms reach. The assailant let out a triumphant laugh before he wrenched his arm free from the other staff member and staggered down the middle aisle. Axel glared at him for a moment before his eyes flew wide.

Roxas was abruptly pulled against the redhead's chest as the Carrier swung his body around, creating a barrier between the blonde and the crazed man. An echoing gunshot rang out a split second later and Axel let out a pained cry. The man let out a hysterical cackle before he pulled the safety back for another shot with a resounding ' _click_.' Roxas' face paled and his limbs grew cold as the redhead leaned against him unstably. There were distant screams from outside the show room when the people in the lobby realized a gun was involved in the disturbance. The blonde could hardly think straight as his mind reeled in its attempts to understand what was happening. Axel was aware though and let himself stagger to the side, pulling Roxas down with him between the seats. The blonde fell on him numbly, eyes wide and frightened. The Carrier looked ghostly pale and he grunted as he pushed himself up some on weak arms. Roxas was shoved to the side and under the seat as Axel scooted closer to him, on his side, his body creating an enclosed wall for the blonde to hide behind.

The man was tackled to the ground by one of the braver theater staff members and the gun was tossed to the side before it went off again as it met the floor, forcing the pair under the seats to flinch. The bullet ricocheted away harmlessly. Several more staff members flooded in to restrain the man, followed by a few police officers of the _official_ variety. It took Roxas a moment of uneasy peace to realize his watch was screaming at him and that Axel was having serious problems.

_Foreign Body in Carrier Implant_

_Blood Loss_

_Internal Bleeding_

_Elevated Respiratory Rate_

_Extreme Emotional Distress_

_Perforation of the Small Intestine – Left Iliac Region – Dorsal Side_

Realization smacked into the Charge like a building falling on him. A shaky hand pressed against his face snapped him back to reality and he gaped at the redhead before him. Axel gave him a weak smile.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice hoarse. Roxas nodded quietly. "Good," the redhead said and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I need a hospital, Roxas."

"R-right, hang on," the blonde stammered and shifted himself around onto his stomach before pulling himself along under the seats a few feet so he didn't have to move the redhead any as he fumbled out from under his hiding spot. The staff and police were wrangling the assailant out of the doors as the man laughed hysterically over his shoulder. Once he was standing, an officer was next to him, asking him a series of questions that fell on partially deaf and frantic ears. Roxas didn't give the man time to finish before he grabbed the front of his uniform and shook him lightly. "Ambulance!" he squawked in his face.

"Alright son, hang on. It's on its way," the officer tried, grabbing the blonde's wrists and prying them from his shirt gently. Roxas nodded deftly and looked down to Axel, taking the reddened hole in the back of his shirt. There was a growing puddle beneath him but it wasn't as big as the blonde was expecting. His eyes watered immediately though and he dropped to his knees and crawled back to the redhead and scooted himself back under the seat to see his face. The officer left them and started talking hurriedly to his associates.

"Axel…" Roxas coerced and stroked the redhead's cheek, hoping he would open his eyes. The redhead grunted groggily before forcing his lids open and looking at the upside down face that he loved so much. He attempted another smile.

"Hospital soon?" he asked. The blonde nodded and sniffled a bit as a few tears streamed out of his eyes sideways and dripped onto the floor. "I'll be alright. I trust you'll take good care of me. I love you, Roxas."

"I…" the blonde attempted but choked on a light sob. "I love you too," he finished and stroked the redhead's hair some. Axel's smile widened just a bit and he blinked weakly a few times, trying to force his eyes to stay open.

The next few moments threw Roxas into auto-pilot. Two Technicians and a few normal paramedics were there and gently scooted the redhead backwards and away from his Charge before hefting him upwards and carrying him off to be placed on a gurney. Roxas followed after them clumsily, putting his hand down unintentionally in the puddle of Axel's blood. He froze when the mildly warm liquid squished under his palm and he pulled his hand up with fogged eyes and an even foggier mind. All he could think of was how Axel trusted him to take care of him. If Axel's small intestines had a bullet shaped hole in them, that meant he would have to have surgery to remove it and put him back together. The blonde paled a bit as he stood, absently wiping is hand across his shirt, completely ignoring the horrific smear it made. He wasn't sure he was ready for such a process. He had only studied after all, but he knew what he would have to do anyway to fill his role as the redhead's Charge.

He would have to do Axel's surgery.

* * *

Leon and Cloud weren't doing anything horribly exciting. The usual work load was getting accomplished in a comfortable silence. That silence was abruptly shattered, however, when a random female Technician burst through their lab doors. Immediately Leon grinned and held up his hands defensively before pointing to Cloud.

"Whatever the problem is, it's his fault," the russet Carrier confessed. His Charge's jaw dropped.

"What the fuck?" Cloud sputtered and sent Leon a glare.

"9x8b?" the Technician asked sternly, ignoring the accusation.

"Yes?" Leon asked and put his hands down, guessing that now was not the time for joking.

"4x31's Charge has requested your assistance. I have a transport ready. Quickly now," she said and turned on her heel to leave. Leon blinked and looked to Cloud, who shrugged. They exited the lab together just in time to see Sora and Riku following after their own Technician.

"What's going on?" Cloud asked when they caught up.

"Something's wrong with Axel," Riku said.

"That's really vague," Leon snorted as the four of them jogged together down the hall towards the front entrance. Zexion appeared from Axel and Roxas' lab with Ventus' head peeking out of the doors behind him with a raised brow. They watched the Technicians speed past them followed by everyone else but Sora held back.

"Hold down the fort. We'll be back as soon as we can," the brunette said. Zexion raised a perplexed brow but nodded and Sora took off to catch up with the rest of the group.

* * *

Roxas was tossed into a whirlwind of hospital related activities. Including, but not limited to, being disrobed and tossed into a set of blue scrubs. There were several Technicians rushing about around him and they paid him no heed as they attempted to contact Ansem. Axel had been taken back to some unknown room and without any family to console, they were both virtually by themselves. At least Axel was unconscious. He wasn't even aware of all of the chaos surrounding him but for Roxas, it was making his head spin. The hospital they were in was much larger than the little medical facility that they had been frequenting over the last week and the blonde was becoming lost as he was shoved along by the Technicians.

He didn't know how long ago Axel had been hurt, or how long he had been waiting around for someone to tell him where they had hidden the redhead, but the one thing he did know was that if he had to wait for much longer he was going to explode. His hands were sweaty and shaking in his anxiety ridden fear. His scrambled mind was reeling with vague remembrances of everything he had studied over the course of the last year and a half. Part of him wished he had gone to medical school instead of following the Genetics field. He wasn't a doctor (least of all a surgeon). He was a Charge. Axel's Charge, and though he had only half of an idea of what he was doing, he had to do it anyway and to the best of his abilities.

"Charge," came a stern voice from behind him. He startled and looked to the Technician that had addressed him, sort of. "Where are his kin?" the man asked.

"Kin? He doesn't have any," Roxas said quickly. The Technician blinked at him a few times.

"Why didn't you tell us that before?"

"I didn't think it was relevant. I already sent someone else go to find my brother and our friends for some help. I've never done this before; I've only been here for less than two years. I've been trying to ask for help but everyone's ignoring me," the blonde spat.

"Oh good god," the Technician groaned and Roxas furrowed his brows.

"Can we get started already? No one's even told me where he is," he asked impatiently.

"There isn't an OR open for him. He's a Carrier. He's low priority."

"Low pri—Are you fucking insane? How can you be so damn casual about this?" Roxas yelled, the sudden urge to hit the Technician almost overwhelming him. He attempted to chew his lip, his nervous habit, but quickly stopped when he chomped down on where it was split. He hissed a little and reached up to touch it. It wasn't bleeding, thankfully.

"He's in a human hospital, Charge. Did you want us to transport him to the other facility?" the Technician asked grumpily as he folded his arms over his chest.

"If he'll be taken care of there instead of being forced to sit around and _wait_ while his innards fill with blood then _yes_! God, are you people stupid?"

"Its protocol," the man said, brushing the blonde off. As if he had explained everything.

"To hell with your fucking protocol! Get him to where I can treat him!" Roxas roared. The Technician gave a flippant wave.

"Fine. Wait here," he said blandly and left the seething blonde to go find someone to talk to.

"Roxas!" Sora called as he galloped down the hall.

"Oh thank you god," the blonde sighed when he saw his sibling. Cloud was hot on the brunette's heels. Sora plowed into his brother, wrapping him in a tight hug.

"What happened?" the brunette squeaked.

"No time," Roxas said and squinted at Cloud. "Where're Leon and Riku?"

"Human hospital. Carriers aren't allowed back here. They're in the lobby," Cloud said.

"In theory we're going somewhere else. As soon as I can figure out where they hid Axel, we're supposed to transfer," Roxas said.

"You don't know where he is?" Cloud asked. The shorter blonde shook his head.

"They separated us as soon as we got out of the ambulance. They made me change clothes and sign some papers and I've been waiting ever since."

"God damned idiots," Cloud grumbled and rubbed his face. Sora suddenly pointed down the hall with a gasp. Roxas turned quickly just as a group of Technicians wheeled a gurney right past them with a familiar head of red hair laying on it. Roxas didn't think twice before chasing after them and caught up to them just as they were lifting Axel into another ambulance. Sora and Cloud had seen all of this and instead of following them directly, they headed back towards the lobby to retrieve Leon and Riku.

* * *

To Roxas, the ride over to the little medical center near the feline Carrier facility seemed to take forever. The Technicians that were in the back of the ambulance with him and Axel looked bored out of their minds and Roxas wanted to punch them both. Axel was sickly pale and his breathing was erratic but he wasn't dead, which was a plus. The blonde hovered over him worriedly, holding his cold and sweaty hand in one of his own and running the unoccupied one through his hair. The Carrier had been wiped clean from what the blonde could tell, and his clothing was gone and had been replaced with a flimsy green hospital gown. He was coated in a thin film of sweat but he wasn't shivering so at the very least Roxas knew he wasn't getting an infection and running a fever just yet.

Once they reached the little medical center, the Technicians were quick to disembark and yank the redhead away from Roxas by the gurney and start pushing him inside. The blonde furrowed his brows angrily and contemplated yelling at them for manhandling the Carrier, but he knew it was a futile effort. For people that did research and lived practically side by side with the Carriers for so many years, one would've thought that they would be a little more compassionate. Roxas wondered whose subordinates they were. Ansem's? Or Saïx's? If they were with Saïx and just happened to be in the area, it was more understandable where their sour attitude came from.

Leon, Cloud, Riku, and Sora arrived shortly after Roxas did and they followed after the frantic blonde into the facility. Much to Roxas' surprise though, when they burst through the medical center's operating prep area, Ansem was there, dressed in his own pair of scrubs and washing his hands and forearms vigorously. His faded golden hair was pulled back and tucked under a cap that matched the blue of his scrubs and a thin mask covered most of his face.

"Ansem?" Roxas asked with wide eyes even though he was relieved. Axel continued through the prep area and into the operating room proper. The Technician turned to him with a small smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes.

"This is your first surgery, correct?" he asked calmly.

"Y-yes…" the blonde stammered.

"Alright. I'll be here to walk you through it. Get washed. I'll see you inside," Ansem said and rinsed his hands. He made his way through the prep area and pushed the door into the OR proper with his back, holding his hands up to keep them decontaminated. Roxas watched him leave through a fuzzy filter in his mind. Cloud and Sora burst through the doors behind him, pulling him back to his senses.

"Riku and Leon not coming again?" the shorter blonde asked blandly, taking a little offense that his friends couldn't be bothered.

"They're not allowed to help with Carrier surgeries that involve a Totem strain outside of their own. If one of them cuts themselves and their blood mixes with Axel's, it would royally fuck him over," Cloud said and crossed the room to rifle through a storage cabinet and find he and Sora a pair of scrubs.

"Oh," Roxas deadpanned. Next to the sink Ansem had used to wash up was a box of caps and masks. The shorter blonde tucked as much of his hair into a cap as he could and tied a mask around his face before moving to the sink. He scrubbed at his skin with vigor, getting all the nooks and crannies he could find coated in a thick lather before rinsing it away. He went through the doors into the operating room in the same manner Ansem did and was bombarded suddenly by one of the Technicians that had wheeled Axel inside. They held up a secondary gown that the blonde slipped on backwards to completely cover his front before they snapped a pair of latex gloves over his hands.

Ansem was already prepped and waiting beside Axel. The redhead had been flipped over onto his stomach and was in the middle of being hooked up to half a dozen monitors by the other Technician. A chord trailed out of his mouth and snaked along the floor before mixing with several more chords that lead over to a Catalogue terminal that was taking down all of the information it could gather. The Carrier was already under anesthesia and was ready to be worked on as far as Roxas could tell. Cloud and Sora joined them shortly.

"The biggest risk we have is infection. Intestines have a bad habit of harboring nasty strains of bacteria especially when they get outside of the intestinal wall. Let's hope the hesitation at the other hospital didn't cost us valuable time. In theory we should be done in a few hours. Get in, remove the bullet and excess leakage, close everything up, and get out. Simple. I'm ready for you whenever you are, Roxas," Ansem said calmly. The blonde swallowed thickly and looked Axel over one more time before looking to Cloud and Sora. The brunette smiled at him in reassurance. Roxas sighed.

"Let's get started then," he said.

* * *

"I seriously hope Roxas doesn't put two and two together on this one right away," Leon said as he cruised through the terminal in the medical center's lobby. Riku sat in another chair a few feet away from him. They had been waiting for a few hours by this point and instead of trying to take a nap, Leon decided he wanted to use his time to do some reading. Neither Carrier was trying to think too much about Axel's health in an attempt to keep most of the worry away. The snowy Carrier raised a brow.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"According to the news, the guy that shot Axel was not only drunk, but extremely upset that someone named 'Ventus' infected him with HIV. If my assumption is correct, the man that attacked the actual Ventus is the same one that attacked Roxas at the movie theater. He probably thought Roxas was Ventus the same way Cloud and I thought Ventus was Roxas. Cloud and I were there the first time the man tried to kill Ventus and we not only let him go, but Cloud left the gun on him even though he took the ammunition. If this is all true…it would be partially our fault that this all happened. There was probably more we could've done to incapacitate the man but we were more worried about getting Ventus some treatment. Well, _I_ was more worried about getting him treatment anyway," Leon said flatly.

"Do you think he really found Roxas and Axel _after_ they were in the theater? Especially if he was drunk. It's sort of a stretch of the imagination, don't you think?"

"Well if you saw Axel's freakish hair towering over everyone else, wouldn't you look at him? Then if you saw some blonde kid that reminded you of some guy you hate next to him, wouldn't your inebriated mind tell you to go after them? It's not that farfetched. If the man was blasted out of his mind it would've taken him a minute to get himself together enough to get in there. I would be curious to find the surveillance video and see if he was staggering around outside and in the concession area before getting into the theater itself."

"I can believe all of that but that wasn't my point. I was attempting to make you feel better _before_ you started blaming yourself," Riku said and smirked. Leon gave him a blank sideways glare.

"You're almost as much of an asshole as I am sometimes, you know that?"

"You're the one who's jumping to conclusions even before you hear anything else. Ventus has probably slept with hundreds of people. The probability that he infected a least a few of those people is relatively high. It's even higher if we're talking about the ones who would be upset about it," Riku said.

"True, but this is too much of a coincidence to be anything else. I'd rather prepare myself for the worst and receive relief if it's turns out to be someone different than not be prepared at all and get blindsided," Leon said and folded his arms over his chest and leaned back in his seat.

"Understandable. Are you that concerned about what Roxas will say though? I would think he'd be just as angry at Ventus."

"I can see that too. Call me a delicate flower if you will, but I do have a relative amount of compassion when it comes to hurting other people. I don't enjoy doing it and if I can avoid making Roxas upset, I would like to. God only knows he doesn't need another reason to think I'm a monster," Leon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You're still upset about that? I thought you were past it."

"I'm alright with myself now. I don't have control over what Roxas feels and that's the part that concerns me. He seems to be doing alright though."

"I agree to a certain extent. At least Sora isn't worrying about him anymore. I can't read Roxas very well so I have a hard time understanding him."

"He's an oddball, yes. But then again, so is Cloud."

"You don't seem to have a problem making Cloud upset. Why is it different with Roxas?"

"I don't go out of my way to intentionally hurt _anyone_. I pick on Cloud because he gives me the best reactions and he always comes back. It's his own fault really. I stopped having sympathy for him decades ago when it comes to our squabbles."

"Just your squabbles? When is it serious?"

"That's not something I'm willing to share with you," Leon deflected flatly. Riku waved a dismissive hand.

"Alright then. Keep your secrets. It makes finding things out by accident so much more fun," the snowy Carrier teased with a soft smile.

"Between you, Demyx, and Axel, Cloud and I can never keep anything to ourselves anymore, can we? You're all stalkers."

"Forgive me for being sucked into the gossip circle. There isn't much else to entertain myself with once the work is done and Sora is sated."

"Alright that was more than I needed to know," Leon snorted and laughed a little.

"Well… it's true. Unfortunately."

"He can't keep up with you? Are _you_ ever sated?"

"Oh I'm fine. The poor thing just tires out so quickly sometimes if wonder if I've broken him. Then again, so did Jasmine, so maybe it's just me."

"Stamina of an elephant. I know that feeling. I find the women get tired more quickly than the men though. What's-her-face was like that."

"What's-her-face?"

"Yes, some girl I went to the Garden with back before I made contact with Cloud. For as energetic and interesting as she was, she was a terrible lay," Leon said and sighed a little and slouched in his seat. "Ah well."

"My my," Riku chuckled. "Covered all your bases, did you?"

"A few of them. It's not like anyone would've cared. Cloud certainly couldn't have said anything. Not without being accused of hypocrisy. That's all that mattered to me. Still, matters to me."

"Ah. I suppose that's all that _should_ matter then," Riku said. The conversation slowly died and they shared a comfortable silence. Leon and Riku had known each other for the entirety of Leon's existence. The russet Carrier got along with him the best out of all of their other friends even though both of them didn't care to spend a lot of time in each other's company. It was an odd relationship, to be sure, but one that had helped them both tremendously in the past.

"Look alive," Leon said quickly when he saw Cloud emerging from the hall that lead into the back part of the medical facility. He and Riku stood to greet the blonde. Leon raised a brow.

"Where's Roxas?" Riku asked, before the other Carrier could.

"They're setting him up to give Axel a transfusion. Sora's with him," Cloud said when he made it to them.

"So Axel made it then?" Leon confirmed. Cloud nodded.

"For now. Getting the surgery done was the easy part. He's at extremely high risk for infection and Ansem is going to fill him up with antibiotics here relatively soon. I can't for the life of me figure out what they were doing though. Who the hell goes out and comes back with a damn bullet in the gut?"

"Axel does apparently," Riku said. Leon shrugged.

"I have one theory," he started. Cloud raised a brow as his lover explained to him how it was partially their fault.

* * *

Roxas winced when the needle poked him, his eyes squeezed shut and his face turned to the side. The pointy metal sticks weren't one of his favorite things to deal with when it came to himself. He could give someone a shot easily enough, but he tried to avoid them like the plague if they were to come anywhere near his skin. Contrary to that acute dislike, he still donated blood on a semi-regular basis simply because he thought it was a nice thing to do and essential to most medical procedures. That, and once he did it the first time, the Red Cross never stopped calling him. He had never given blood _directly_ though. From the line in his arm, the liquid life seeped out of his limb, up to a bag, and down another line into Axel.

Once the feed was set, Ansem backed off and let the transfusion run its course. It had been explained to Roxas that the majority of the blood Axel lost was human, but his Totem blood needed time to recuperate its mild loss as well. In order to do that quickly, the Technician would have to force Axel's Link to slow the human blood production in favor of speeding up the Totem's. Roxas' blood would supplement him until that process was finished. Were Axel not the only one of his kind, that process wouldn't need to be done. If there was another Carrier that could offer him some of their Totem blood, then the redhead's Link would've been left alone.

Roxas lay back on his crunchy hospital bed with a sigh. He was exhausted. Once the surgery had begun, a strange sort of calm came over him even though his adrenaline was pumping and he was able to remember most of what he had studied. Of course, Ansem and Cloud being there helped tremendously. Even Sora, who had turned into more of an errand boy than anything else, was helpful in his own way. Roxas was surprised at how collected his brother had been through the entire thing. He had thought for sure the brunette would've been more squeamish, but the contrary was welcomed. The worst part of it (aside from it happening in the first place, that is) was the _smell_. Roxas never wanted to venture into _anyone's_ intestines ever again. Even after it was all said and done, his nose still burned.

Ansem had told him that he had done well for someone who was completely inexperienced. Cloud had chimed in and added that he himself studied for over a decade before he needed to do a surgical procedure on Leon. Roxas still had his doubts. Even though he could remember it all clearly and could recall the calm he felt, he was certain that Ansem and Cloud did most of the work. Sure, Roxas' hands were just as bloodied as everyone else's when it was all said and done, but it was still surreal to think that he was halfway successful.

"Do you remember your attacker's face?" Ansem asked quietly. Roxas had closed his eyes in attempts to collect his thoughts a little more and let his body relax now that the chaos had subsided. His lip hurt, his head was aching, and he never wanted to leave the facility again, but all of that was secondary now. He still had to worry about Axel. He peeled his lids open and looked at the Technician.

"It was dark and the movie wasn't giving enough light to see him clearly. If I heard his voice again I'd probably be able to recognize him," the blonde said.

"What did he say?" Sora asked curiously from his seat near the door.

"He said I ruined his life. I've never talked to anyone outside of the facility long enough to ruin their li—Oh fuck," Roxas halted when the realization smacked him in the face.

"What is it?" Ansem asked.

"I bet that guy thought I was Ventus. He grabbed me from behind so he probably only saw my hair. God damn it…" he sighed and reached a hand up to rub his eyes. "Of course he did. It was probably the same guy that shot Ventus before. The guy was probably aiming for me and…then Axel…" he tried but the words caught in his throat. He looked over to the unconscious Carrier with glassy eyes.

"He'll be okay, Roxas," Sora said sadly.

"I hope so," the blonde said and wiped the excess moisture from his eyes before it had a chance to escape onto his face. "It bothers me that I can't even go out on a god damned date without someone possibly trying to kill me simply because Ventus and I look alike. It doesn't help my opinion of him, it doesn't make me want to help him more, and it doesn't ease my nerves. He better be one genius of a Charge if he wants to redeem himself after this one…"

"Did he start working yet?" Ansem asked. Roxas nodded.

"This morning."

"Ah, well it's a little late to go back on your word now. Somehow I don't believe he would intentionally send someone after you though so don't let your anger cloud your judgment too much. Then again, I've never personally met him. Does he come off as a malicious person?"

"No. He's actually really nice," Sora said before Roxas could open his mouth.

"Then I would give him a chance to explain," Ansem urged. The blonde let out another sigh and flexed his arm a few times to keep the blood flow going.

"It doesn't matter if he has a good explanation or not. So long as we look alike and there are people in this dome that will recognize him, I can't go out with Axel very much without putting us at risk again."

"You could go out with Ventus a few times and make sure the people he knows know you exist too and to take a closer look before they leap," Sora offered. Roxas picked his head up enough to give his brother a glare. "It's just a suggestion, Roxas. Don't get all pissy."

"I don't ever want to hear an idea like that again. It's insulting, not to mention just _begging_ for more shit to happen to me," the blonde growled and let his head plop back against the pillow again. There were a few moments of silence before he sighed again. "Hopefully they have the guy in custody though."

"I haven't heard the entire story. All I was told was that a Carrier had been attacked and shot. I found out it was you and Axel when I arrived here," Ansem said.

"Am I allowed to press charges?" Roxas asked.

"For assaulting you, yes. Not for hurting Axel, I'm afraid."

"Right, because he isn't dead," the blonde spat bitterly.

"Unless you can afford the lawyers yourself, I don't think you'll be getting very far anyway. The Committee doesn't allocate money for lawsuits that don't involve Carrier death."

"Fucking assholes. No offense."

"None taken. Very few of my colleagues share my opinion of how this entire operation should be run. If there were ten more of me, it would be completely different. Too much emphasis is put on the money aspect anymore, when the original idea was to save what little resources we have left and restore our world to its previous natural beauty. I'm one of the few that still sees it as its original intention."

"When did it change?" Sora asked.

"The project itself hasn't deviated very much aside from advances in the technology over the years. The people have changed; which is always the case. The Committee as it stands now is only a few hundred years old. It changes as the members cycle through, even though Saïx and myself have always been a constant," Ansem said, intentionally leaving Xemnas out of the discussion. Both siblings nodded their understanding.

Even though Roxas' revelation had put him on edge, the worry he had for Axel was still overpowering all of his senses. He desperately wanted the redhead to open his eyes and say something though he knew it wasn't going to happen for at least a few days. He sighed inwardly and let his neck and shoulders relax as much as they could as he prepared himself for the long wait he had before he was able to take his Carrier home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry everything seems a bit rushed. I honestly tried to write the actual surgery out but I'm not knowledgeable enough to do it accurately. I know anatomy. Not physiology and actual medical practices. I dislike it when I put a ton of effort into something and someone more knowledgeable comes by and goes "Uh... that ain't right." I know it would've happened. It's one of my flaws. Rampant paranoia.


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter 66**

"Ansem? Why are you still here? I mean, everything's done and we just need to wait. You don't have to feel obligated to be here anymore if you have more important things to do," Roxas asked after several hours of waiting around with the Technician and Sora in Axel's recovery room. The redhead's blood supply was back up to speed, he was resting, and the antibiotics were coursing through him. Ansem could've left hours ago, but there he was, sitting in another chair off to the side. He chuckled and smiled at Roxas tiredly.

"Don't tell anyone, but I'm hiding. Sometimes an old man wants to sit around and talk to people who are actually pleasant to talk to. It's been at least a few months since I've able to sit and have a moment of peace even if the circumstances surrounding this one are not the best. I can leave if I make you uncomfortable," the Technician offered. Sora grinned.

"No way! You're the coolest old guy I ever met. Well, except for grandpa. He was pretty awesome," the brunette said. Ansem laughed.

"Yes well, I'm a little older than him, I'm sure."

"Only by a little bit," Roxas said and smiled. The gesture was tired, partially empty, and didn't quiet reach his eyes. He could appreciate Sora's happy demeanor and Ansem calmness as they tried to offset the depressing atmosphere around him, but all Roxas really wanted to do was crawl in the bed with Axel and sleep. He couldn't to the first part very effectively, he knew, but the sleep part seemed alright.

"Can I ask a random question, and hope I don't offend you?" Sora asked cautiously. Ansem raised a brow.

"It's extremely hard to offend me personally anymore, Sora. Go ahead."

"Did…do you ever get tired of living? You've been around a _long_ ass time, I just couldn't imagine doing it," the brunette asked. Roxas' eyes flew wide and he gasped at his sibling's audacity.

"Sora!" the blonde hissed. Ansem held up a hand with a small smile to calm him down.

"It's alright, Roxas. A lot of people are afraid to ask such questions and I can appreciate the gumption. I'm not offended. But to answer your question simply, Sora: yes. It does get tiresome," the Technician said.

"Have you ever considered just… stopping?" Sora asked. Ansem nodded.

"I have. All of my family has long since passed. My wife, my children, obviously my parents, my siblings, the only things I have left are the Carriers and the Committee. I consider the possibility of stopping my stasis treatments frequently, but they never come to fruition when I realize I still have so much to do. The world wasn't built in a day, and fixing it will take much longer. I can't stop. Not yet. Once the animals and the nature are restored and able to live _outside_ the domes, then I will consider my work complete," Ansem said.

"That's the ultimate goal? To get rid of the domes?" Roxas asked. Ansem nodded.

"It's a lofty one, I'll admit. So long as the atmosphere is tainted with man's sins, we cannot achieve it. The government is running behind us in that regard. It has people who pay their taxes, so they're satisfied enough to let them stay in their glass bubbles to live out the rest of their days. I don't have control of their research and their attempts to fix the atmosphere; otherwise I would be pushing for much more. But as a Technician, I can only do so much. I'm limited to the Carrier Program."

"Wow, do you ever get a vacation?" Sora asked.

"Oh, I have the option to go and do whatever I please. If I want all I've worked for to come crashing down around me, I suppose I could take a month or two off. Saïx would most certainly turn everything into one giant profit show if he had his way."

"Why is he such a dick?" the brunette asked with a scowl, crossing his arms over his chest. Roxas sighed and rubbed his face in response to his brother's less than tactful way of speaking.

"It's the way he's always been, Sora. He doesn't like taking orders very much and though he is a brilliant scientist and an even better engineer, he still can't make very many decisions that don't involve his greed. So, I'm forced to keep him underfoot. He and I have a long history, to say the least, but Xemnas used to be the buffer between us and kept things a little more stable. Now that he's gone, Saïx seems to believe that change is in the air, and it's to his benefit."

"Are things changing?" Roxas asked. Ansem shrugged.

"Things are always changing, Roxas. With Xemnas' death, most of his subordinates went to Saïx's side and under his jurisdiction. None of those people are legitimate Committee members so it's really not very different, but it does give Saïx more sway with his work. He can reach farther than he could before, you see. This dome isn't affected as much, but quite a few of them are. Especially the avian domes."

"…What do the subordinates do? Like, if they're not Committee members then why does it matter whose side they're on?" Sora asked.

"The Technicians that were helping us with Axel were just two who happened to be in the area. They weren't my subordinates and I can only assume how harshly they treated him. They are required to respond to Carrier medical emergencies, but only just that. Get him to a hospital, and wait around for orders. I was foolish to think they would've taken him to one that treated Carriers and not a human hospital, but I've learned my lesson. I apologize for that, Roxas. Had I known it wasn't my people who responded, I probably could've done something sooner."

"Well they said they were waiting around for you at the other hospital," the blonde said and furrowed his brows together.

"Yes, because this dome is under my jurisdiction. They may have been Saïx's people but when they're here they follow me. I was only told of the emergency and came here, thinking this is where Axel would be sent. Needless to say, that wasn't the case and we lost time. He should be fine though. Once we know he isn't going to turn septic on us, he can rest in the Diagnostic Care Center for a week."

"Oh…" the blonde trailed quietly. He didn't want Axel to float around for a week in recovery. Ansem looked to him curiously.

"You don't sound very confident about it."

"It's not that… I just like being able to touch him while he's hurting. Comfort him and everything," Roxas said as his cheeks turned pink. "Floating around in a tube has its benefits but it doesn't do much for me, you know? It's just me being selfish though. I can deal with a week. Zexion has way longer to go than I do and he seems relatively okay."

"I understand. Quite honestly, after your last convention, Axel should've gone into the Diagnostic Care Center for his back but he refused. I'm sure if given the chance again, he would rather suffer outside with his wound than 'float around in a tube' as you put it. He's rather stubborn when it comes to taking care of himself," Ansem said.

"He doesn't like it?" Sora asked. Ansem shook his head.

"More often than not, Carriers would prefer to keep working. Usually when they're indisposed is when they're put in the Care Centers. Leon, for example, has only been in the Diagnostic Care Center a few times though he's probably needed it dozens more."

"Oh. Do they have some sort of preprogramming that makes them want to work and disregard themselves?" Roxas asked. Again, Ansem shook his head.

"Not something that's hard wired into them, no. They are taught to think that way though. Either by the Technicians they come in contact with or the other Carriers around them. We don't do too much with the actual human brain power other than make it adjust to their Totem and the Link. The personalities they have are the same as if they would've been born human. The environment they live and develop in is purposefully enclosed around the influences that keep them working towards their project goals though. It keeps them safe, it keeps the Carrier Project on track, and things get done to benefit the common good. I sincerely hope that if the Project ever fully succeeds and this world is restored, then the people will be a little more accepting of the Carriers as people themselves."

"That sounds nice," Sora said and smiled. "I would like to go out with Riku and climb a tree under the actual sun."

"Without getting shot, you mean?" Roxas added bitterly. The brunette scowled.

"Yeah, that'd be a bonus."

"Well if I do my job right, then hopefully we can get there some day," Ansem said. "I never expected it to get this far when we first started though, so I'm optimistic."

"Were the first Carriers the same as the ones today?" Roxas asked.

"They were far less stable. Originally the Carrier Project was extremely small and built around restoring the endangered species of animals before the Great War. We only had a few miles worth of facilities and there were less than twenty Carriers walking around, and they were kept secret. After the Great War though, everything came to fruition and the government encouraged the production of Carriers to begin rebuilding. Our resources were split into thirds. I handled the Carriers themselves as well as their Charges and stasis. Saix handled the ecosystem domes, their plants and elements, and the ability to simulate actual weather sequences. Xemnas handled the Technicians and searching for Charges outside of our plane.

The first Carrier for the Project, if I remember correctly, was more of an experiment. Before, the ones we used for the restoration of the endangered species were only meant to live twenty years or so. Now, we suddenly needed them to live much longer. For a while, stasis treatments worked for extending their lives. But after a while, the chemicals would damage the Link and eventually the Carrier would either die, or turn feral and attack people. The firsts were like that. After about sixty years, they turned and were unusable and had to be euthanized. Their Charges were made into Technicians and some of them are still alive today, believe it or not. They are some of my closest friends.

But during the times of our failures, we were also having successes. By the time all of the original Carriers were gone, we had perfected the technology and the stability of the Link. The method hasn't changed very much over the years outside of processes that sped up maturity rates so we could have more Carriers in less time. But the way the Carriers appear now is pretty much how they were back then. They are still imperfect as far as living beings go, but they are a far cry from the first ones," Ansem explained.

"Is the first stable Carrier still alive?" Sora asked. Ansem shook his head.

"The oldest living Carrier we have today is only about twelve hundred years old. Even he is on the end of his rope and has expressed his desire to be left to die to me. His Charge is ill and probably won't live another five years. Once she goes, he wants to leave with her. Which is understandable. That's generally the story I hear. The Carriers live for as long as they can, doing as much as they can for little gratitude and unfair treatment by general society. They stick around for their Charges and try to adjust for them as much as they can but eventually it becomes too much for them both. Usually the Carrier tires out before the Charge does and then they wait until the other is ready and go together. That is, if they're living peacefully enough. It's different if one of them abruptly dies due to some tragedy. Very few Charges have the strength to live without their Carriers and end up committing suicide. Carriers tend to be little more stable but it's not unheard of to see the same scenario play out if they lose their Charge. The general life span is around seven hundred years for Carriers. For one reason or another."

"Wow," Sora deadpanned, his mind reeling with the information. Seven hundred years sounded like a long time, never mind twelve hundred. He couldn't imagine it.

"What is the eldest's Totem?" Roxas asked. Ansem smiled.

"The Tortoise, fittingly enough. All of his sub species have enough Carriers to keep the work up and he himself has countless natural offspring as well as several human children. His children told me they want their stasis treatments to end once their parents leave so they can continue on normally and have families of their own. He won't be forgotten."

"Reminds me how far behind we are," Roxas said and cast a glance to Axel. Ansem laughed, pulling his attention to the Technician with a small scowl.

"Roxas, you've only just begun so don't count yourself out just yet. Axel used to sound just like that when he was first matured. Impatient, envious of everyone else and their uniqueness, and insistent. He was alive barely a week before he started comparing himself to the others around him. He calmed down, but only after several years of encouragement. Everyone has been working far longer than you both, you can't expect success overnight."

"I know. All we've had are delays though. It's a little discouraging."

"And I just told you a story about a Carrier who is over twelve hundred years old. You have time. Don't push it too much," Ansem said. Roxas nodded a few times.

"I know… I just…I don't know what," the blonde sighed and rubbed his face. "Why haven't Cloud, Leon and Riku come back here yet?" he asked abruptly, hoping to steer the topic somewhere else. Sora shrugged. Ansem smiled.

"Usually, the etiquette dictates that the waiting party waits out in the lobby until the injured party says they're ready for visitors. You haven't invited them back," the Technician chuckled.

"Oops," the brunette said.

"Can you go get them?" Roxas asked, looking to his brother. Sora nodded and pushed himself out of his seat and headed out of the room.

"Are you staying here all evening?" Ansem asked.

"Am I allowed to? I didn't think there was overnight visitation," Roxas said. Then he remembered that Zexion didn't come home all evening when Demyx was admitted but he couldn't amend his statement before Ansem answered him.

"You are. You'll be by yourself though. Only the Charge and kin are allowed to stay with the Carrier overnight."

"Oh. Well Sora is _my_ kin, does he count?" the blonde asked, and then he had a thought. "Wait… no. I want to ask him to go back and check on Zexion," he said mostly to himself.

"That's very kind of you but I believe Zexion will be fine."

"Probably, but Axel was concerned for him and that makes me concerned for him too."

"It's your choice. I believe the staff will allow Sora to be here if you want him to be."

"I'll figure it out. I'm indecisive. What I would like to do though, is wake Axel up enough to ask him if he wants to be in the Diagnostic Care Center," Roxas said. Ansem chuckled.

"Or is that a roundabout way of telling me you don't want him to be because you'll be lonely and you're hoping that he'll refuse and save you the pain? Even though you know he should be," the Technician said and gave the Charge a knowing smile. Roxas' face blanked. "I think he should go in the Care Center, just to be safe. But so long as he sticks to a liquid diet and doesn't do anything strenuous for a little while, he should be alright granted he doesn't get an infection if you decide against it."

"Right…" the blonde trailed as his cheeks turned a light pink again. Ansem read him like a book and it was a little unsettling. Luckily, the train of thought was smashed once Sora returned with Leon, Cloud, and Riku in tow. Cloud looked relatively unfazed, having been there through the entire process, but Leon and Riku looked Axel over carefully. Sora plunked back into his seat and let everyone do their thing.

"How long will he be out for?" Leon asked, looking to Ansem.

"As long as Roxas is willing to let him. You should ask him. He's the one in charge here," Ansem said, motioning to the Charge. Leon blinked a few times before looking to Roxas. He had assumed Ansem was calling the shots since the Technician had stuck around for so long, apparently not. Roxas shrugged.

"He needs to stay here for observation until we know he won't turn septic. After that, he'll be either in the Diagnostic Care Center or on bed rest for at least a week. I haven't decided," Roxas said.

"I always prefer bed rest, at least then I can entertain myself," Leon said.

"Yeah because you seem to think I'm there to wait on you hand and foot," Cloud spat.

"You mean you're not?" Leon asked with an innocent inflection. He gave his Charge a small pouty smile and batted his eyelashes at him. Cloud groaned. Leon smiled a little wider and his expression turned normal again. Riku chuckled at their exchange.

"It's less painful to be in the Care Center," the snowy Carrier said, looking to Roxas. The blonde nodded.

"I figured it would be. Part of me wants him awake so I'm not by myself, and I would be okay with that if I didn't think he would try to get up and do things. I know he will and unfortunately I'm not exactly strong enough to hold him down," Roxas said and smiled a bit. Leon scoffed.

"I took advantage of it. I didn't move."

"Yeah I _know_ ," Cloud hissed and gave him a glare. Ansem chuckled.

"Tomorrow we can wake him up and ask him if you genuinely want to know his input. Unfortunately for everyone else, visiting hours are coming to a close. Sora, did you want to stay behind?" The Technician asked. The brunette blinked and looked to Roxas.

"Did you want me to stay?" he asked. The blonde shrugged.

"I was hoping you and Riku would keep an eye on Zexion for us."

"I can handle Zexion," Riku offered. Sora looked to him.

"You sure?" he asked curiously. Riku smiled softly and patted the chocolate spikes.

"I'm sure. One night apart won't kill me."

"Okay…is that alright?" Sora asked, looking to Roxas again.

"Yeah. Thanks," he said.

"No problem," the brunette responded and smiled.

* * *

"Are you okay? You seem a little down," a gentle voice asked curiously. Zexion looked up from his enormous tome and blinked a few times as he was greeted with a wide and innocent pair of aquamarine eyes. It took him a few seconds to focus his eyesight enough to bring the face in with the glittering orbs. He was greeted with a youthful and delicate face with a mischievous smile playing on its thin lips. The person (who was decidedly male) brought a hand up and twisted a piece of his foppish sandy hair around his finger. The hair was relatively bland even though it was uneven in a lot of places. Zexion couldn't help but think the choppiness and the way it hung in the boy's eyes didn't suit him very much. Somehow, the way the other's eyes twinkled at him with a playful ambiance betrayed his relatively normal appearance. He almost expected something more, but then he stopped himself. He had only seen this person for all of four seconds and thought it silly to make a judgment so quickly. The boy wiggled his fingers at him in a light wave. "Hello in there?" he asked. Zexion blinked a few times as he slowly realized he had been staring.

"H-hello…" he sputtered, unsure of why it was suddenly so hard to think.

"I say, you seem a little down. Are you okay?" the stranger repeated as his smile widened more.

"Yes. I'm just… I'm reading," Zexion said and lifted the fat book he had cradled in his lap some to show the cover.

"Well do you always look like your world is crumbling around you when you read? Because if that's normal, then I can leave you be but somehow I don't think that's the case."

"…I wasn't aware that I had any sort of expression while I read. I'm sorry for causing you concern. I'm fine."

"Oh. Okay," the stranger said with a chipper inflection. He suddenly grinned and Zexion startled when he took in the persons…fangs. He could only think of them as such. His heart sped up a little and he furrowed his brows. The grin dropped quickly and the face went neutral again with a small smile. "Something wrong?"

"No. Nothing," Zexion said quickly. The stranger's smile widened again and he tilted his head to the side curiously, looking him over. Zexion fought the urge to fidget.

"Did you want to come out into the sunshine with me?" he asked abruptly. Again, Zexion blinked a few times.

"…I'm reading."

"So? You're also reading by lamplight. It's a far cry from the natural flame in the sky. Come outside and read. It's not going to kill you."

"Why are you so concerned with what I'm doing? I don't know you," Zexion shot defensively. This person was quickly moving down the wrong path with him. It had started out nice enough, but after the sudden flash of unnatural teeth, things were turning strange. The stranger giggled at him and cupped his own cheek in one hand.

"I'm not concerned. I'm just trying to get someone to spend some time with me. You looked so unhappy I thought I'd try to cheer you up enough to come outside with me. Is that such a crime?"

"Are you a child?" Zexion asked grumpily as he furrowed his brows. The person seemed relatively young but not so much as to ask him to come out and play in the sun with him. It was a very random proposition, admittedly. He himself was already twenty-three years old and far too adult to run around outside without doing something productive. Besides, the sun was not his favorite thing. Books and quiet peacefulness were the only things he truly enjoyed.

"Of course not!" the stranger twittered and giggled again. He took in Zexion's sour expression carefully. His smile never faded though. "If you're really that against it, I suppose I could leave you alone. I think you're missing out on quite an opportunity. After all, actual sunlight is a gift and you should take advantage of it for as long as you can before you have to be enclosed in a glass bubble."

"A glass bubble?" Zexion parroted confusedly.

"That's right. How can you be so sure that a few years from now the world won't be encased in a series of glass cages to keep the people safe from the elements? I bet, that one day, everything will be different and we won't be able to enjoy the sun like we do now. Trees, plants, animals, nature, all of it could be gone tomorrow and wouldn't you regret refusing my proposal then?" the stranger asked and sat on the floor properly, folding his legs under himself neatly. He leaned forward intently, keeping Zexion's eyes locked with his.

"Where is this all coming from?"

"I don't know. Your refusal to come outside with me has me a little confused, honestly. I'm just trying to understand how you think. If you're more willing to sit inside by yourself in a dark corner in the library versus coming outside and feeling the sun then you probably need a little more logic to coerce you. I'm just trying to give you another point of view to see. Think about it though. Would you be upset if you found out tomorrow you couldn't go outside in the sun and you decided to stay inside today?"

"I don't enjoy the sun all that much so I can't say for certain that I would. Granted, I've never lived a day without it so I could just be taking advantage of it."

"You're not taking advantage of anything aside from the lamplight and the dust. You could just as easily read your book outside as you could inside yet you choose to be reclusive. Why is that?" the stranger asked without a hint of malice. Zexion furrowed his brows.

"You speak as if you know me. Don't assume so much," he said as his annoyance grew. The stranger balanced his elbow on his knee and rested his chin on his hand, peering at Zexion with a polite smile and probing eyes. The other was suddenly feeling incredibly scrutinized and his heart rate sped up again. He wasn't comfortable anymore and he could feel his inner calm coming over him in his anxiety as he let his face blank and eyes turn cold defensively. The stranger raised a brow.

"No need to take offense. I'm not here to make you upset, I was just curious. I'll leave you alone if that's what you really want but something deep down in my core tells me that you're really just in need of someone who will give you what you crave. Honestly, when I first saw you and your hopeless expression, my heart ached and I wanted to see if I could do something to help. Do you really _truly_ want me to leave you alone to your solitude? Or did you want me to offer you what you really want?"

"And just what is it that I crave so much?" Zexion asked bitterly, narrowing his eyes at the stranger who was delving into very personal territory. They had only been talking for fifteen minutes. It wasn't possible for someone to see through his internal walls so easily, was it?

"If you have to ask me, then you obviously need more time to figure it out for yourself. Which is fine, everyone needs that time. But you didn't deny that you need _something_ so I would urge you to come out into the sun. At the very least the fresh air will help you think clearer. Plus, I want some companionship."

"Why don't you ask someone who has the time to frolic around like no other responsibilities exist? I'm trying to read, to study, and you're bothering me with strange philosophies about myself and the world around us when I didn't ask for them. You're being incredibly rude and I would like it if you would leave me alone," Zexion spat, feeling exposed. The stranger giggled again, his smile spreading.

"Have it your way," he said cheerfully before shifting his legs around so he could push himself up. He left quietly, a light bounce in his step, and Zexion glared at his back until he rounded the bookcases and was out of sight. He sighed once he was by himself again and reached across the floor to turn up the flame of his lamp for more light before he attempted to turn back to his book and pick up where he left off. He groaned a bit and rubbed his forehead when all he could see were glittering aquamarine eyes in between the words.

* * *

Zexion's eyes flew open, the memories making his chest hurt and his eyes water. He blinked at the darkness, wiping at his eyes before the moisture could escape, and uncurled his limbs from himself. He rolled over and squinted into the night at Riku's hair, the brightest thing around him. Again, he felt childish for accepting the Carrier's proposal to spend the night together. Riku was missing Sora, and he Demyx, and Roxas and Axel were still at the hospital together so the idea seemed like a good one at the time. He didn't hold anything against his snowy friend for inviting him along, but he couldn't help but feel as exposed as he did when he and Demyx first met. He knew the intent was nice, but his internal defenses were crushed from not needing them for so long and it left him feeling vulnerable.

Zexion's room was an inferno to Riku. Not to mention the stifling clothing he was wearing. He wasn't sleeping very well and when he felt the steely-haired Charge turn over, it caught his attention quickly. His back was to Zexion, but he could feel his eyes boring holes into his shoulder blades. Riku rolled over carefully and took in Zexion's crestfallen face. The Charge's eyes were glistening with unshed tears as he stewed in whatever emotion turmoil he was going through and the Carrier's heart went out to him. He could remember the Zexion he had met when Demyx first introduced them. The guarded, secluded individual from the past had been shattered and replaced with one that relied on Demyx's happy strength almost fully.

Being separated was taking its toll on Zexion in the most obvious ways. When Demyx was in quarantine, it had been easier to deal with. At least then, the Charge was under the impression Demyx would be safe, if a little bored. Having him injured and so close by without being able to reach out and physically comfort him was like a constant tease. A torture. Zexion would've almost preferred Demyx be in quarantine so at the very least he wouldn't be able to torment himself. He let out a shaky sigh and considered getting up to go see his lover but he knew it would only add to his anguish. His vision unfocused as he stared ahead of himself blankly, attempting to conjure up some of his dilapidated courage. A warm arm snaked itself around his shoulders and he was hugged against a firm chest. Riku rested his chin against the ailing Charge's hair and rubbed his back comfortingly. Zexion's mentality cracked with the contact and he grabbed onto the front of Riku's shirt...

…And sobbed.

* * *

"Are you _sure_ this is what Ansem said to do?" Roxas asked as he held the little electrical prod. Sora nodded.

"You heard him yourself. He said 'turn the anesthesia off, give him the blue shit, then poke him,'" the brunette insisted. The blonde furrowed his brows.

"He didn't say it quite like that though."

"Yeah well, I'm not as old and eloquent as he is. I know what he said though, I _thought_ you were listening."

"I was, I was just hoping to not have to scare the shit out of him. Like…maybe I missed something," Roxas said and looked Axel over. The redhead seemed so peaceful. Too bad he was about to get a rude awakening. The blonde grit his teeth and pushed his brows together nervously as he slowly lowered the prod down and touched the end to the Carrier's arm. There was a sharp ' _clack_ ' as it shocked him and his eyes flew open with a yelp. His hair flickered wildly with his eyes for a brief second before both lost all color and life. His tattoos slowly receded into his skin until they were completely gone, causing Roxas to raise a brow. Axel groaned and grabbed his arm where he had been assaulted.

"What the fuck was that for?" the redhead hissed, sending the offender a glare. When he realized it was Roxas, his expression softened considerably. Then, he was fully aware of the pain in his back and he grit his teeth and tried to force his tense muscles to relax. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths, his fingertips digging into his skin to keep himself calm as he forced himself to settle back. Roxas quickly set the probe aside from where he got it.

"I'm sorry! I needed to ask you some things!" he said quickly, pulling at the redhead's fingers in a desperate attempt to keep him from hurting himself. Axel held up a hand to keep him at bay while he gathered himself.

"Hang on, hang on," the redhead urged through his teeth. Roxas nodded and stepped back. He sighed sadly. Sora came over and patted the blonde on the shoulder. It took Axel several minutes to calm down enough to speak again. "Sorry. How long have I been out?" he strained.

"Two days. I want—" he started but stopped himself. He looked to his brother. "Can you give us a minute?" he asked. Sora blinked a few times.

"Oh! Yeah. I'll go get some coffee," he said quickly and gave Axel a smile and a little wave before making his way out of the room, pulling the door closed behind himself. The not-redhead held out his hand and the blonde looked at it quietly for a moment before taking it in his.

"I wanted to ask how you wanted to spend your recovery," Roxas asked. The guilt of what Axel had done for him was creeping in. Between zapping the hell out of the Carrier only to have him writhe in pain a minute later, and the act of taking a bullet for him, there was a lot weighing on the blonde's mind. At the very least he felt he should give Axel the option to do what he wanted with himself even if Roxas desperately wished that the Carrier would choose bed rest so he wouldn't be by himself.

"Um…I have no idea, Roxas. I've been awake for three minutes," Axel said. Roxas nodded, looking off to the side and avoiding his lover's colorless eyes. The not-redhead gave his hand a gentle tug. "Hey. Look at me," he ordered. Roxas hesitated before slowly bringing his eyes up and looking at Axel through pieces of his hair. The Carrier pushed his brows together. Before he could say anything though, another sharp pain shot up his side and he hissed, his torso twitching to the side a little. Roxas blinked a few times and looked to him fully.

"Did you want me to turn down your nerve sensitivity?" the blonde asked.

"That would be wonderful. Not all the way though. Half-ish," the not-redhead agreed and let go of his hand. Roxas nodded and crossed the room to the Catalogue terminal. He took up the plug for Axel's link and pulled out as much excess chord as he could and crossed the room again before handing it over to the not-redhead. The Carrier plugged into his Link and closed his eyes as he waited for relief. There weren't a lot of pain medications for Carriers and oftentimes the easiest solution for their ailments was to turn down the sensitivity of their nerves versus spending the extra money for intravenous sustenance. They had pills for the basic headache but anything more than that got awfully expensive. Roxas' fingers typed away at the Catalogue quickly, and he was able to turn down the sensitivity within a few minutes. Axel let out a relieved sigh as his pain eased from a fervent stabbing to a dull sting. He couldn't really feel his fingers anymore, but that was secondary. Roxas turned up the sensitivity of his Signet, just in case before exiting out of the application. Axel unplugged his Link and let the chord settle on the bed.

"Better?" Roxas asked and went to his side again.

"Much. Thank you," the not-redhead said with a smile. Roxas gave him a weak one in return. "If you'll allow me to stay like this, I can do bed rest."

"Only if you stay in the bed. Like, constantly unless you have to go to the bathroom. No work," the blonde said.

"No work? Not even if I sit all day?" Axel pouted.

"Or you can go in the Diagnostic Care Center."

"But I don't like that thing."

"Well that's too bad. If you can't promise me you won't stay in bed then that's your only other choice."

"But Rox _aaasss_ ," the not-redhead whined. Roxas didn't seem very amused with his display. Axel furrowed his brows as his mood turned serious again. "Are you alright?"

"No. I'm not," the blonde said flatly.

"Why not?"

"Did you really need to ask that? Look at yourself and tell me what's wrong."

"Don't tell me you feel guilty about this. Neither of us could've prevented it from happening. It's not your fault," Axel said sternly.

"You took a bullet for me," Roxas said. The end of his sentence cracked with his voice as his eyes started to water. "You could've died. Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because," the Carrier said as if it explained everything. He reached out a hand towards his Charge and Roxas took it. Axel pulled the blonde closer and dropped the hand in favor of draping his arm around Roxas' waist.

"Just because?" the blonde asked and wiped at his eyes.

"Right. I didn't think about what I did before I did it. I saw the gun and grabbed you. Aside from the obvious fact that I love you to bits, it's what my role is in this Charge/Carrier thing we have. I told you in the beginning that I was supposed to provide protection for you and I meant it. Even if our relationship had remained what it was so long ago, strained and a little weird, I would've done it. I think I would be less happy about it if we hadn't progressed so much though," Axel said and took the blonde's other hand in his free one and turned the palm towards himself to lay a series of light kisses on the small expanse of skin.

"You're _happy_?" Roxas asked with a light glare. Axel smiled against his hand.

"Of course I am. You're safe. You're not happy?" he asked curiously, casting wide colorless eyes to his Charge.

"No. You're hurt."

"Hurt. Not dead."

"Yeah but—"

"Stop it."

"But—"

"I said 'stop it,'" the not-redhead ordered and gave the blonde a glare. He and Roxas shared eye contact for a few minutes before the blonde sighed and bent at the waist to lay his forehead against Axel's shoulder. The Carrier turned his face and laid a gentle kiss in his Charge's hair, his hand petting Roxas' back reassuringly.

"I still feel awful."

"Don't. Everything will be fine," Axel insisted.

"How can you be so positive?"

"Because I'm older than you are?" the not-redhead guessed. "I have no idea, Roxas. I'm just happy you're safe. I wish you wouldn't dwell on this and focus on the positives with me. It'll make my recovery a little more pleasant."

"I'll try," the blonde sighed though he was unsure of how well that would work.


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter 67**

"Stay."

"But—"

"Stay."

"I just want—"

"I said _stay_!" Roxas barked and sent a menacing glare over his shoulder. Axel bit down on his lower lip and sat back down on the bed obediently, looking up to his Charge with wide glassy eyes. The blonde paid his immature face no heed and turned to glower down on the Carrier and force him to obey.

"I just want a glass of water…" Axel sniffled dramatically and shuffled his feet a bit on the carpeting. They hadn't been home for more than an hour and the redhead was already causing the blonde a headache. They had traveled home, Axel had reset his colors and tattoos, got dressed, had lay down, fidgeted a bit, and then decided he needed to get up again. Roxas wasn't having any of it and kept a threatening eye on the Carrier and a tranquilizer a short distance away just in case Axel got too incessant; he was already pushing his luck.

"I'll get it for you," Roxas said and stomped away to the bathroom.

"Oh come on! I'm not an invalid!" the Carrier protested with a glare.

"Stay in the fucking bed," the blonde ordered. Axel huffed defiantly when he heard the water running for a few seconds. He furrowed his brows together, muttered several inappropriate curses under his breath and comments about 'over bearing blonde midgets' before he reluctantly pushed himself back onto the bed properly and leaned against the pillows like a good boy. Roxas resurfaced from the bathroom shortly thereafter and handed the glass of water over. Axel took it with a pout and glared at his Charge over the rim as he took a drink and set it aside.

"What am I supposed to do all day?" he asked grumpily.

"Fuck if I know. Sleep?" Roxas offered with a shrug. "I don't care what you do so long as you do it in the bed and stay in one piece."

"I'm not allowed to go into the other room and dick with the Catalogue?"

"No."

"Roxas…"

"Stop it."

"But—"

"Axel. Stop. Please," the blonde said sternly, his demeanor turning more serious. The annoyance in his face dripped away to a more of a pleading look, one wrought with guilt. The Carrier sighed and reached out for his hand. Roxas hesitated before taking it but eventually did, and sat on the side of the mattress. Axel tugged on his hand and the blonde hesitated, again, before gently laying his face on the redhead's chest. The Carrier wrapped him in a hug and kissed the top of his hair.

"I wore you down that easily, huh?" Axel teased with a light smile. Roxas pushed up from his chest to look at him. The redhead's heart sunk a little at the downtrodden expression he could see in the back of the blonde's cerulean eyes. Roxas wasn't overly sad looking facially wise but there was a definite lack of luster in his gaze. Axel ran a hand through the golden hair a few times.

"Just…stay in the bed, please. I don't want to have to put you in the Care Center _or_ do surgery again. I know way more about your insides than I ever wanted to know now and I'd rather not recreate the experience. If you need _more_ motivation though, we can turn your nerve sensitivity back up again," the blonde said and gave the redhead another glare. It wasn't as piercing. Axel raised a brow.

"Threatening me so quickly?" he asked. Roxas shrugged a bit.

"Just making my intentions clear."

"I see. Well played," Axel said and nodded sagely.

"I would like to take a nap though. I haven't slept very well these last few nights. Hospital beds aren't very comfortable."

"We can do that," the redhead said and released him. Roxas sat up again and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly before standing and beginning to strip. Axel took the hint and pulled his own shirt over his head and tossed it aside. The Charge only went down to his boxers though before crawling over him and into the bed. The redhead pouted a little to himself, taking the cue that it wasn't sexy time, and left his shorts in place. Roxas pulled the covers out from under them both and deposited himself in between them and watched Axel do the same. They settled in together and let out a tandem sigh.

* * *

Ventus was a little confused. The day before, and the day before that, Zexion had been relatively normal. He didn't know the steely-haired Charge very well, but the general vibe Ventus got from him wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Zexion was more than willing to teach him the ins and outs of Carrier production in Axel and Roxas' absence, but today he seemed… off. It was a little concerning and while they were working together in Axel and Roxas' lab, he caught the Charge staring off into space more times than he could count. He kept Axel's request to keep an eye on Zexion in the back of his mind as they went about their day, but the longer they were together, the more Ventus began to worry.

"You know, if you want to lie down and get some rest, I can sit around and study," Ventus offered that early evening before dinner. Zexion blinked several times before averting his eyes from the wall and looking to the blonde.

"No… I'm fine. You're doing well though. Much better than I expected from someone who's just star—"

"Cut the shit," Ventus interjected abruptly and gave him a scrutinizing once over. Zexion raised a brow.

"Excuse me?"

"I said: 'cut the shit.' You're having problems and you need to fix them. It probably has something to do with Demyx being out of commission but I get the feeling it's more than that."

"You assume you know me," Zexion said flatly, his dilapidated defensive walls coming up as his eyes grew cold. Ventus gave him a nonchalant shrug.

"I don't. But you're being awfully easy to read. I don't know what you can do to help yourself either, but if you need something you're allowed to ask for it. Regardless of whom you ask it from. I'm trying my hardest to make some friends here even if my circumstances stack the odds against me, and I'm willing to help you if you'll accept it."

"I don't need anything from you."

"Okay, maybe not from me, but you do need something, right?"

"What I need is for people to stop assuming I'm weak simply because I'm by myself. Being upset and being pathetic are two different things," Zexion said firmly. He was attempting to reassure himself more than anything else with his statement. He _felt_ weak and pathetic, but he was attempting to not come off as such. Apparently, he was failing.

"I don't think you're pathetic," the blonde said.

"Yes well, you and everyone else insist I need to be coddled like an infant when I don't need to be."

"I'm not coddling you. I'm just offering help if you need it. If you don't want it, then just tell me. No need to bite my head off."

"I don't need anything," Zexion said flatly and sent the blonde a nasty glare. Ventus put his hands up defensively.

"Okay okay, I get it. I'm sorry."

"Fine," Zexion spat. He ground his teeth together in his frustration. He was angrier at himself than Ventus, but the blonde was being an easy target and he couldn't help himself. A tense silence fell between them as both men attempted to go back to work. After all of three minutes though, Zexion's anger and unbridled frustration was grating on his nerves so much that he feared what awful things he could say. Without a word, he turned away from the Extractor and stomped out of the lab before he could say anything demeaning that he would later regret.

He escaped to his bedroom and threw himself on his bed with a sneer. He hated himself when he was like this. Angry at himself for being so dependant on someone else, feeling worthless without Demyx's constant fawning, forgetting that he used to love being by himself but could no longer bring himself to do it, relying on people who held a fraction of the emotion that Demyx had for him. Everything made his blood boil. It would've been easier to deal with had he had someone else to blame. He could yell and scream and quite possibly punch whoever it was and feel better. Unless he was willing to hurt himself, he didn't have that option. He wasn't willing to do that just yet, much to his relief when he realized it. Demyx would be extremely upset with him if he reverted back to his old habits just because things were getting a little rough.

What he _needed_ was some proper sleep. Taking that thought and running with it, Zexion pushed himself off his bed and made his way into his bathroom to rifle through his medicine cabinet. Tossing several pill bottles aside, he picked one up and read the label. It had been a while since he needed to take something to sleep, and the pills themselves might have been expired, but much to his surprise, they weren't. Not for another three months anyway. Good enough.

* * *

Zexion fiddled with his cufflinks anxiously and cast one last pleading glance to his father, who in return, didn't even notice him. He sighed inwardly and pulled at the stifling material of his thick suit jacket, one that bore his family's seal, in a desperate attempt to relive himself of its clutching wrath. He hated weddings. The fact that it was his own didn't help. He stood numbly in front of one his family's closest friends - the local Bishop - and attempted to look like he was happy. He wasn't, and he was failing miserably at his task. His mother sent him a menacing glare when he looked to where she was sitting in the front row, demanding he be a little more chipper.

It was an arranged marriage. One that would strengthen ties between his father's company and his soon to be father-in-law's. The bride in question was an awful excuse for a lady. Zexion hated her more than anything he had ever felt in his entire life and the fact that her nose was about as wide as his fist didn't help matters any. She was shrill, demanding, over bearing, and just about the most hideous creature he had ever laid eyes on. About the only redeeming qualities she possessed was an incredible rack of breasts, a delicate chin, and startling aquamarine eyes.

Not that Zexion ever saw _her_ when he looked into those distant and cold orbs. No, his best friend had been flitting around in his mind in all manner of inappropriate ways ever since they met three years prior. He kept his pining to himself, for the sake of saving face and keeping the disgrace out of his family's way. But even as Demyx stood off to his side as his best man, he couldn't help but have an overwhelming sense of gloom. He didn't want this woman. What was her name again? He could barely remember.

"It's _soooo_ hot," Demyx whined almost silently from his side and pulled at his tie. Zexion managed an amused smile. He had never gotten the indication that the sandy blonde considered him more than a friend and that small barrier between them made standing at his wedding a little easier to bear. At least his own heart was the only one going to be crushed after this joke of ceremony was finished. Demyx would find a nice girl eventually, he knew.

The ceremony progressed at a sickeningly slow pace. By the time the vows were exchanged and the Bishop had finished prattling on about 'God' and other things Zexion could care less about, the heat had obliterated any sort of happy inflection he held. His bride's hands were scaly and sweaty as they gripped his fingers too tightly. When the time came for them to seal their marriage with a kiss, he nearly vomited when he turned to her and took in the yellowed stains under her arms that marred her incredibly expensive and pristine white dress. Her lips were like sandpaper and he made to pull away quickly after initial contact but she decided to show how ladylike she was and wrap her arms around his neck and force her tongue into his mouth.

From behind him, Demyx fought the urge to pull the 'woman' away from his Charge and punch her in her over inflated nose. Zexion, keeping his composure like a saint, let her have her way for a moment but gently pushed her away when she became too incessant. She giggled in her hoarse, manly way and gave the groom a wink, telling him that they could continue their one-sided ministrations later that evening. Zexion managed a crooked grin which looked halfway between a murderous snarl and an attempt to keep his projectile vomit sealed behind his teeth. The Bishop cleared his throat when their gazes lingered on one another for too long and the woman let go of her groom, smoothed down her dress unceremoniously and gave the man a smile. The closing words were short, much to Zexion's relief and they left together as husband and wife.

The reception was boisterous and full of drinking, drinking, cigars, some food, and then more drinking. The bride's family members were all loud and almost as obnoxious as she was and Zexion avoided them all like the plague. After several hours of forced dancing to bland orchestral music and talking to people he would never want to see again, Zexion plunked down at a table and watched the people around him. Demyx was talking happily with several of the guests in the distance even though he hardly knew them. Zexion was envious of his friend's ability to be so sociable and wished he had the same ability. How could he though? His life was ending that evening. His studies had been disrupted when his father decided he needed to marry, he was pulled out of the comfortable environment he had created for himself and thrown into the dregs of big business, and the object of his desires had absolutely no idea of how he felt. He was a coward. He should've said something to Demyx far before they got to this point, but he couldn't. The shame would've brought down his entire family, not to mention it would've killed their friendship if Demyx didn't feel the same way.

Zexion resolved himself to his miserable fate. Demyx would be happier this way, he was certain. He couldn't disrupt his best friend's life just so he could encroach upon him his inappropriate desires. The only thing he could think to do now was to drink himself stupid so he could at least pretend he loved his wife enough to consummate their marriage.

Somewhere around his eighth drink of something that no long burned his throat, Zexion felt he should probably stand and stretch his legs a little. He teetered around in his spot for a minute before deftly making his way towards the large doors that lead out into the reception hall's main hallway. There was a raucous group of girls surrounding the plastered bride in the hall. The figure in white was doubled over in front of a waste bin, vomiting her innards out while her friends held her hair back for her and laughed all the while. Zexion sighed and shook his head a bit as he bypassed them quickly, stumbling a bit in his drunken state when he crested the threshold of the large wooden doors that led out back behind the building.

The night air was cool on his face and Zexion inhaled deeply before leaving the immediate vicinity of the doorway and staggering off to the side out of sight. A few moments of peace were all that he asked for and thankfully, the other party goers were too preoccupied inside to take advantage of the atmosphere outside. The sky was black and void of clouds that allowed the stars to shine brilliantly against the contrasting backdrop. The moon was a thin crescent amongst them, illuminating the summer grasses of the hills below as a light breeze pushed them to and fro. A few trees dotted the landscape, breaking up the monotony, but not distracting from the wide expanse of land.

"Zex?" came a gentle curious voice, one that wrenched his heart in yearning every time it came at him without warning. Demyx stepped outside with a thoughtful face and went to his side and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Wonderful," Zexion said flatly and let his eyes drift closed. He leaned against the building and let out a sigh.

"You don't look wonderful."

"Because I lied."

"Oh. Well what can I do?"

"Bed Ilka so I don't have to," he responded. He was amazed that he could remember the woman's name, even in his hazy state. Demyx snorted and started to laugh.

"No thank you. I don't prefer married women."

"I'll give you five thousand Marks."

"Don't try to pawn your woman off on me. It won't work," Demyx twittered through his giggles. Zexion gave a wry smirk.

"I understand the feeling. I wouldn't lay with her for five thousand either. Hell, I can't even get paid to anymore. My parents desire grandchildren."

"Ah. I wouldn't mind a family of my own some day. I can understand their sentiment; though it would be a little more appealing on your end if she was somewhat attractive. She's an ogre."

"Somehow I think it's terribly uncouth to talk about my bride as such on our wedding night but I can't help but agree," Zexion sighed and lowered his eyes from the sky to the grass. Demyx looked him over carefully.

"Want to take a walk?" the sandy blonde asked and pushed a piece of hair behind his ear. Walking and doing things outside was a common Demyx practice to get Zexion to clear his head a little. After their first contact over three years ago, the Carrier had taken to pestering the hell out of his future Charge in attempts to pull him out of his shell. It had worked, but only when they were by themselves. Demyx would see Zexion's walls fly up again once others trickled into the scene, but he treasured the moments when they didn't. Zexion smelled like liquor and it burned the sandy blonde's nose, but he hoped a little stroll would sober him up enough to be presentable for the rest of the party he had to perform for.

"Sure," Zexion agreed and unsteadily pushed himself off of the wall. Demyx folded his hands behind his head and started walking towards the nearest tree in the distance. He could only see part of its trunk and its canopy because it was down the hill a ways, but he figured it was far enough to get some air into his Charge's lungs. Zexion wobbled after him, keeping his eyes to the grass. They managed to make it to their destination with little incident but the effect wasn't what Demyx was hoping for. The additional time they had taken allowed Zexion to absorb more the alcohol through his empty stomach and he plopped down on the ground and leaned against the trunk, hopelessly inebriated. Demyx sighed and sat next to him, pulling his legs up to his chest and setting his chin on his knees.

"Do I need to carry you inside again?" the Carrier asked with a smile. Zexion silently shook his head lightly. Demyx shrugged and decided to ask again in a little bit. He looked up to the sky and took in the twinkling stars and the milky sheen of the moon. They shared a comfortable silence, the sandy blonde completely unaware of how Zexion was looking at him. The ailing groom's liquid courage wasn't helping his mentality any as his mind drifted to his shameful thoughts about his friend. The sight of Demyx's features in the moonlight was doing things to him, things he couldn't control.

A hand ghosting over his and the smell of liquor pulled Demyx's eyes from the sky and towards where he _thought_ Zexion was sitting and sobering up. He was suddenly presented with an extreme close up of his friend a split second before his lips were encased in the other's. He startled, but only because he knew he should have. Inside, Demyx's heart was doing flips in his bubbling excitement. He had longed for this sort of contact with Zexion for years, many more than his human Charge could possibly comprehend. The only problem was, Zexion was completely drunk. It didn't even matter that it was the eve of his wedding day. Demyx wanted Zexion aware of what he was doing before he could accept such feelings. Reluctantly, the sandy blonde pushed him away and scooted back from him.

"What are you doing, Zex?" he pleaded, hating that he had to do so. He desperately wanted to progress things further but it could lead to disaster in the end. Zexion blinked blearily a few times before he could comprehend what he had done. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in his shock. He sat back on his heels and slapped a hand over his mouth.

"I'm so sorry Dem! I don't… I don't know what I was thinking…" he gasped, horrified he had taken such a drastic step and so suddenly. His cheeks flushed wildly as he looked his friend over carefully, trying to read his body language and see if he was disgusted or not. Demyx looked a bit confused but wasn't angry, much to his relief.

"You're married, Zex. Do you know what you're doing?" Demyx asked carefully, his voice taking a serious tone that Zexion found totally unfitting.

"I… I'm…" the future Charge stuttered.

"You're drunk. As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I don't want you to do something you'll regret tomorrow."

"You…you're not disgusted with me?"

"Nope," Demyx said and smiled wide. Zexion furrowed his brows together in his confusion. How can Demyx be so accepting? He didn't understand. The sandy blonde giggled a bit and folded his legs under himself comfortably. "I don't mind, Zex. I just want you to be a little more lucid if you really want to do these things with me. If you can remember this tomorrow, you're more than welcome to try again. Not that I encourage adultery, but… well yeah. I guess I'm encouraging adultery," he said and giggled again. Zexion's cheeks flushed a few shades darker.

"I apologize. I don't… I'm so confused."

"That's fine. Take a while to figure it out. I'm not going to run away from you like you're some sort of monster."

"I don't…I…"

"Stop. Don't worry yourself over it. Regardless of our relationship, I don't plan on ever leaving you. Especially not for something as silly as a confused kiss," Demyx said.

****~o~** **

Zexion didn't see Demyx for several weeks after his wedding. Hazy remembrances of their encounter swirled around in his head like a thick syrup, taunting him. Did it happen? Or didn't it? He couldn't decide. Sometimes he would remember Demyx becoming upset. Sometimes it would be the opposite; that his sunshiny friend looked perfectly at peace with their awkward moment as if he expected Zexion to do such a thing. Such a shameful shameful _shameful_ thing.

One thing was certain though: Zexion didn't see his wife as she was anymore. Any sort of intimate encounter he was obligated to have with her was on his terms. The woman wasn't horribly disgusting so long as she was flipped over on her stomach with her hind end presented to him, with her face smashed into the pillows. So long as she was like that, it was bearable. Her masculine voice would be muffled by the copious amounts of fabric on their lavish marital bed, allowing Zexion to close his eyes and let his mind drift freely into his shameful thoughts.

Slowly, their ruts together became more and more lethargic as Zexion lost all interest in having any sort of contact with her. It eventually got to the point where just being around her for longer than an hour drove him insane. He didn't _want_ her. He didn't _like_ her. He most certainly didn't _love_ her. What was her name again? He could hardly remember some days. It became a common practice for him to leave their home for hours at time in order to get some work with his father done, and have a moment of peace. It was a false peace though. So long as he was attached to wife, he wouldn't have any actual relief.

"Dearest?" his wife asked one day as she approached his enormous desk they had nestled in the back of the study. Zexion was writing away and ignored her for a few minutes, to finish his train of thought, before looking up at her.

"Yes?" he asked impatiently.

"You wouldn't happen to have a little money you would care to let me take to the market, would you?" she asked pleasantly with a happy inflection. Immediately, Zexion sent her a light glare.

"What happened to the money I gave you yesterday?" he asked. She smiled and fanned her face with her hand a little, attempting to be flirtatious, but all Zexion could pay attention to was the enormous mole she had on her neck. Money wasn't an issue, but the fact that his wife spent it so willingly without any discretion irked him. Especially since he was in charge of it and she needed to talk to him in order to get any. The more she spent, the more contact they had.

"Oh you know… the girls and I had a little fun. There's no sin in that, is there?"

"What sort of 'fun' costs you a hundred Marks in one day? It was supposed to last you through the week. Did I not make that clear yesterday?"

"Did you not see my new sun hat?" she asked innocently and battered her eyelashes at him.

"A sun hat costs that much? Inflation is _that_ high? My, I must redo our books if that's the case. For all we know, we could be impoverished."

"No need to get offensive. So I spent what you gave me, are we worrying about these things now? Since when?" she asked haughtily. Her demeanor fell and she gave him a childish pout with a furrowing of her brows. It was times like those that reminded Zexion of their age difference. His wife was young, only sixteen, and he in comparison, was a late bloomer. She had a point though, for as much as he hated to admit it. Money wasn't a concern and having fun wasn't a sin. So he relented and gave her what she wanted. With a scaly kiss to his cheek and a giddy squeal, she left him to his work, skittering away to squander his wages on whatever her heart desired.

He was envious. The things he desired couldn't be bought with money otherwise he would've given it all away already. Some of it could be bought if he really cared to; the physical things. But so long as the heart wasn't attached, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not only would it ruin his family's name if he was caught, any hope that Demyx would've been alright with a relationship with him would've been smashed. He couldn't take that chance. He had had enough of whore houses. His frequent visits in his younger years sort of killed the appeal for him anyway.

But, there was nothing wrong with a visit. He and Demyx could still be friends, especially since everyone loved the sandy blonde and his cheerful nature. He was fearful though. He wasn't sure what kind of welcoming his friend would give him after what he could remember doing on his wedding night. Such a shameful thing.

* * *

Zexion screamed in surprise when his dream was suddenly disrupted by a loud bang. He bolted upright and stared at his door with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. The door itself was practically ripped from its hinges, Leon staring at him with a look of relief. Roxas was behind him as was Ventus, and the three of them let out a loud sigh as they attempted to relax back. Leon let go of the door handle and the metal let out a loud creak as the last bolt holding it to the frame bent and sent the entire mechanism crashing into the carpet.

"What the fuck is wrong with you people?" Zexion bellowed angrily.

"Are you alright?" Roxas asked quickly, stepping around Leon and entering the room. He stood to the side of Zexion's bed and gave his friend a worried once over.

"No I'm not alright! You all nearly scared the skeleton from my body!"

"Why didn't you answer the door?" Roxas persisted.

"Because I was sleeping! Is that a crime?"

"We were yelling and banging on the door for over twenty minutes. We thought something happened to you," Leon said. Zexion let out an angry sigh and rubbed his face.

"I took something to help me sleep. I apologize; they keep me under pretty well. I just…I need to sleep and to be alone. Please."

"Well…" Leon trailed and looked at the door with a disgruntled face. Zexion let out another sigh.

"I have Demyx's keys. I'll stay in his room. Fix that before tomorrow, would you?" Zexion asked grumpily, giving his friends a glare. Leon nodded and took his leave quietly. Roxas furrowed his brows together.

"You sure you don't want to hang around with Axel or someone? He's not going anywhere…" the blonde offered.

"I'm fine Roxas. Really," Zexion insisted.

"The offer stands if you feel you need it," the blonde said before giving his friend a small smile and leaving. Ventus leaned on the doorframe and looked Zexion over.

"Sorry," he said.

"What for?" Zexion asked, his patience waning.

"I told Roxas that I didn't know where you went and he and Axel sort of flipped out. So… it's my fault that you're awake and your door is…demolished. Damn," he said and picked up a piece of a hinge and looked it over. "Do all Carriers have strength like that or is Leon just some sort of crazy beast?"

"All of them do. Well… most. If their Totem is strong they can tap into it. Some of the other Totems, like birds and rodents and relatively weak animals, aren't any stronger than a normal human when they're in their Implant form. Unless they do some sort of physical training, which most of them do."

"Oh. Good to know. You'll be alright though?"

"I _am_ alright."

"Okay. I'll see you later then, I guess. Sorry again," Ventus trailed and dropped he piece of metal on the floor again before taking his leave. Zexion let out an exasperated sigh and plopped back against his pillows, staring up at the ceiling.

* * *

"Do you remember what you told your grandfather you wanted to be when you grew up? Like, way back when you were like… three or so?" Axel asked curiously, leaning over the semi-sleeping blonde to his left and peering into his only visible eye.

"I don't remember much from before I was five. Some stuff, but not much," Roxas said gruffly, his voice muffled by his pillow as he attempted to wake up. He wasn't really sure where the conversation had come from, since it was six in the morning, but he assumed Axel was doing too much thinking since he really didn't have anything else to do all day so his guess was as good as any.

"I remember. It was Sora's first birthday and you were outside with everyone else getting ready to sing 'Happy Birthday' to him and you found your grandfather talking to your dad about work stuff," the redhead said and slowly lowered himself back onto the mattress properly, snuggling up against Roxas' back and laying his cheek against his Charge's hair. "You asked your dad what they were talking about and he sort of dismissed you and tried to send you on your way but your grandfather picked you up and asked you what you wanted to do when you grew up."

"I think I remember this… wasn't I swimming or something before that?" the blonde asked.

"Mhm, you were."

"Right. I remember yelling at my cousin because she got a bunch of grass in the pool."

"Yeah. That was funny. You would've thought she had committed murder with how pissy you got."

"…I was three. It was a big deal," Roxas huffed. Axel chuckled and rubbed his face against his hair affectionately.

"Anyway, you looked really confused when your grandfather asked you that but then you thought about it. After a while you made this really cute face before you smiled really big and said 'I want to be a fish!'" the redhead grinned. Roxas groaned and held his face in one hand. "At that moment, I was sitting in my apartment eating and watching and I nearly choked to death because I started laughing and inhaled my food," the Carrier continued. He wove his arms around the blonde's waist and pulled them together tightly, his hands rubbing on his Charge's stomach. "It was just about the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my entire life."

"What? Me being three or you choking to death?"

"You being you."

"Oh," the blonde deadpanned as his cheeks turned a little pink. "Not that I don't appreciate the compliment or anything but I'm a little confused about why that was important."

"I'm not sure. It was a little random, wasn't it?"

"Just a bit."

"Well…" the redhead trailed and thought about it for a moment. "I think it stemmed from me thinking about Mary and Demyx's situation and what Demyx's kids would be like. I guess, when I think about how you were when you were little, a part of me hopes that the children we might have will turn out the same way."

"…What kind of children?" Roxas asked and shifted around so he was laying on his back, looking up into thoughtful chartreuse eyes. Axel propped himself up on his side with one arm. He shrugged.

"Any kind," he said with a smile. "If we ever get to the point where we can have human children, I'll gladly have them with you."

" _If_ we ever? Are you doubtful that we'll get to that point?"

"It's a long way away, Roxas. I mean…yes I have my doubts since we've had a lot of delays with the project but I'm not pitting my hopes against it or anything. Whenever I think about it…" the redhead trailed as he looked off to the side, gathering his thoughts. His tone grew a bit more serious. "When I think about it, I can't help but feel a little upset. Were I human, we wouldn't have any restrictions and could do as we pleased right here right now. I don't really think its fair for you, you know?"

"It's not fair for you either. Why do you say it's not fair for only me?"

"Sometimes…I wonder what would've happened had I intervened in your life just enough to keep you from going to the club with Hayner and getting Olette pregnant. You wouldn't have caused your own downfall and probably would've been able to finish school and possibly be with Olette or some other girl and do it the right way. I guess…I doubt the system sometimes. Did I really do the right thing in bringing you here? Or did I just give you more of the same? Is your life really that fundamentally different now than it was back then? If you wouldn't have met me you would've been a prisoner in your own self. Being here and being restricted by me and what I am is sort of the same thing, isn't it?"

"Are you telling me you regret bringing me here?" Roxas asked, furrowing his brows together. He pushed himself up onto his elbows. Axel looked to him and shook his head hurriedly.

"No! No. I don't. I just wonder if bringing you here was really the right thing to do. Is disrupting other people's lives for the Carrier's own benefit all that much of an improvement versus letting them live for themselves?" the redhead asked with a hint of sadness and pondering.

"What brought all of this on? Is there something you're not telling me that's making you feel this way?" the blonde asked. Axel gave a tiny shrug.

"Just being a little self conscious again I guess."

"Self conscious?"

"Feeling inhuman, I guess is a better way to put it. I don't know, I'm just thinking too much."

"I think you need to get out," Roxas said and lifted a scrutinizing brow.

"Are you allowing me out of the room?" Axel asked, mimicking the brow lift. The blonde chewed on his lip a little.

"Was your meaningful speech some sort of clever ploy to guilt me into letting you out of the bed?"

"No, actually. I wasn't even thinking about it like that. But if it works, hey, I'm not picky," the redhead said and grinned. The blonde sighed and rolled his eyes.

"If I let you come to the lab you have to promise me to sit as much as you can. Got it?" Roxas said sternly. Axel nodded several times before pushing himself forward enough to plant a kiss on his Charge's lips.

"Yes dear."


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter 68**

Zexion was relatively pleased. His business trip to Austria had ended sooner than he had anticipated and he was on his way home to his own space, his own bed, and quite possibly a visit with Demyx. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than what he had been getting lately. After a year of tension between him and his wife, he was finally able to accept his life and push any sort of shameful thoughts of Demyx away long enough to feel somewhat whole. He was still friends with the sandy haired ball of life but he kept his mind locked behind a strong gate with security guards. Call it maturity, call it peer pressure, but he had done it. His wife hadn't gotten any more appealing than what she always had been, but he was able to ignore her for the most part and get on with his work with relative sanity. The only problem was the lack of children.

Being married for a year was supposedly a milestone. Zexion didn't feel like it was, but he took everyone else's word for it. His father was the only one who didn't agree with everyone else and kept pestering his son relentlessly about grandchildren. Being married for a year without a single pregnancy? There was something wrong! They should've at least had one, even if it ended in miscarriage or the infant was stillborn. Clearly, there were problems. And Zexion's father was persistent in his nagging hoping that the constant annoyance would somehow make a child happen. It didn't help.

Regardless, the business trip ended sooner than he thought it would and Zexion escaped into his home and away from his father's voice. One of the maids greeted him at the door and she went off to summon some male help to take in his bags. Zexion hug up his coat, ran his fingers through his conservatively short hair a few times, and wandered off to figure out if his wife was around to tell her he was home. He checked the bedroom, the kitchen, the parlor, and even the backyard terrace without any luck. He shrugged it off and figured she wasn't home. He was actually sort of happy that she wasn't because that meant he could find a book and take a seat in his study for some quiet alone time.

When he pushed open to the door to his study though, he didn't expect to see what he saw. He wasn't immediately upset, more surprised and a little hurt. The pair inside weren't even aware of his presence and he contemplated just leaving them alone. At least, if his wife wanted to have an affair, she was giving him free reign to go about his own deception as well and that almost made him happy in some twisted way. He stood in the doorway with furrowed brows as he tried to think through the new information as his wife panted like a lustful whore at the man who was apparently pleasing her to no end all over his favorite lounge chair. He was more upset about the chair than he was anything else. As he thought about it though, he started to laugh.

"Zexion!" his wife cried through a gasp when she heard him. She craned her neck to look behind herself and over the arm of the chair to see him in the doorway. Her lover bolted upright and clumsily attempted to conceal himself. Zexion wasn't paying them any heed and held onto the doorframe as the laughter wracked his body and he was beginning to lose his breath. His wife, whatever her name was, shot out of the chair and wrestled around with her clothing.

"Are you…" Zexion tried but the laughs stopped him for another moment. "Are you _seriously_ having an affair?" he laughed hysterically as he held his sides and leaned on the doorframe. His wife ran to him with a puzzled look.

"Zexion I…" she said. "I should've told you. I should've said something before…why are you laughing?" she squealed at him angrily. He took another moment to calm himself and stood upright before wiping at his eyes, through a few stray giggles.

"Because I can divorce you without losing face!" he blurted at her and started laughing again. Her jaw dropped. "But please, do continue! I'm…" he trailed and laughed a few more times. "I'm sorry I disturbed you," he said finally and staggered away from the doorway and started pulling the door closed again. His wife stopped it from closing all the way and shoved herself out into the hallway.

"You can't be serious! Don't you even care?" she asked with wide angry eyes. Zexion sucked back the last few laughs he had and wiped at his eyes some more.

"Of course not. Why should I?"

"Because it's your fault!"

"So you say."

"It is! You hardly touch me anymore! We haven't had any children or anything beneficial from this marriage! Don't you feel…"

"Emasculated?" he finished for her.

"Yes! You don't care that you can't please you wife?"

"Ilka, I don't think I've _ever_ finished when we've had intercourse. You're not even appealing to me. You wonder why we've never had children? Well, that's why. I've been waiting for an excuse to leave you since we've met," Zexion said flatly though he couldn't help a smile from twitching up the sides of his lips. "If that man in there wants to make you his bride then that's perfectly fine with me. I hope he makes you happy."

"Damn it Zexion! Get angry! Do something! Show some other emotion other than complacency and annoyance!" she ordered shrilly.

"Why should I? You've just made me the happiest man in the world."

"Be a god damn man! Hit me! Do something!" she repeated. Zexion laughed again.

"You want me to hit you?"

"Or something that would tell me you give a damn!"

"My masculinity is weighted on how much I would beat you if you ever had an affair? Why doesn't that sound right?" he asked, furrowing his brows together confusedly. His wife let out a frustrated scream that echoed through the halls of their home and made his ears ring. He blinked a few times and raised a brow at her.

"You're so befuddling! You never let me express myself when we made love, you made me lay on my stomach like some sort of backwards whore, you don't give me any pleasantries other than a 'hello' in the morning or anything! You're the most inadequate man I've ever been with and completely unsatisfying! Even now, when you're the one who's supposed to be upset, you won't even give me the satisfaction of seeing you get angry!" she bellowed.

"I don't love you," he said simply. She looked at him like he had suddenly sprouted three heads.

"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked.

"If I had loved you, I would've been more responsive. I don't, so I'm not. Our circumstances weren't optional and though you said you loved me, I doubted highly the sincerity. You love my money and well…you're not getting any of it."

"W-what do you mean?"

"Our marriage agreement? You didn't read it? Oh yes, that's right… you went out for pastries with your friends instead of attending the meeting between our parents. If you had been there you would've been aware that any sort of infidelity on either of our parts meant that this farce of a marriage would be terminated along with all of the business agreements made at the time of the proposal. That being said, the infidelity clause also said that we leave with what we came with. You came with nothing so you get nothing."

"You lie," she said, her eyes wide.

"Perhaps you should've told me, like you said. Perhaps you should've said something about me being inadequate and how much it hurt you, and maybe I would've been more forgiving. But, since this was obviously all a game for you, to see if you could make me angry, I guess I'll have to play my own cards then. Everything you've purchased with my money? It's all mine. I think I'll donate your gowns to the church," he said thoughtfully.

"No wait! Zexion. Dearest. Please reconsider. What…" she trailed as she tried to conjure up some sort of excuse. "What would your father say? Surely he cares more about the company and the downfall it would bring if we were to part."

"I'm sure he will be upset. Not as upset as your father though when it comes to light that he's raised a whore. How many others should I contact for my refund, by the way? I'm fairly certain your frequent spending went to the brothels and other things of that nature," he asked. Her face grew about ten shades of red. "Ah. It's been that many?"

"Be quiet! You can't stand there and tell me you haven't had at least one affair! I fail to believe you would never give yourself relief with me and continue to live without it!" she squawked.

"I haven't touched anyone else. I've wanted to. Oh, have I ever," he said and heaved a sigh. He started to laugh again, a slow chuckle escaping his throat. "And now I can. I suppose I should thank you for giving me that freedom."

* * *

"Ow…" Axel groaned and laid his head on his arm. In order to keep him from getting too active, Roxas had insisted they turn his nerve sensitivity up again. He wasn't feeling the full brunt of the pain but it was still incredibly uncomfortable. The plan was working though. Axel was allowed to be in the lab and participate in things but the pain kept him planted in a chair. He didn't even _want_ to move anymore. He contemplated just asking if he could go lay in the bed again. But for now, he needed to be in the lab since Roxas had to change his bandage.

"Hold still," the blonde said as he gently peeled the square of fabric away from the redhead's skin. Ventus sat off to the side watching. Zexion had taken to his own lab and was spending more and more time by himself, which, so long as he was safe, was an okay thing. Roxas or Ventus went to check on him regularly by way of peeking in the windows and so far, things were fine.

"But you're hurting mee _eee_ ," Axel whined and sniffled. Roxas sighed. The redhead was laying on his stomach on an exam table with his shirt pulled up while his Charge worked on him. The blonde managed to pull the bandage off and he tossed it in the waste bin before setting out to cut a new one. Ventus leaned over the table curiously and took in the healing incision. He grimaced a bit. No one had told him _exactly_ what happened or why, and Roxas was trying to keep the blame away from him. Ventus had no real direct involvement in getting Axel shot and the younger blonde really couldn't blame the other simply because they looked alike.

"Quit being a baby," Roxas chided and set down the large swatch of gauze and took up the square he had cut. He squirted a glob of antiseptic on the fabric before smoothing it over Axel's wound and taping it all in place. The Carrier sniffled dramatically and stuck his lower lip out.

"Kiss it better?" he whined and looked over his shoulder to his Charge who was completely unfazed by his display. Roxas ignored him and started to clean up their supplies. Axel looked to Ventus. "Can you believe him? So abusive."

"I know right?" Ventus snorted in agreement. Axel chuckled and gently shifted himself around so he could push himself off the exam table. He carefully made his way to a chair and sat down with a small wince.

"Ventus," Roxas said flatly after he put everything away and took up his tablet. The older blonde raised a brow to him.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Zexion said you were doing well with the machines. That's all fine and dandy but it's secondary to what we need to do to get you registered into the Charge list. There's a lot of stuff you and I need to do together," Roxas said as he flicked through the list Ansem had sent him.

"Okay, well what do you want to do?"

"…Apparently I need to give you a physical," the younger blonde deadpanned. Axel snorted abruptly and started to laugh a little. Ventus' brows shot up and he looked Roxas over with careful eyes.

"Like a 'turn your head and cough' kind of physical?" he asked.

"…Yes."

"Yay?" Ventus guessed.

"Not really," Roxas sighed and rubbed his brows.

"Well… um, you know a lot of my issues already do you really need to stick your fingers in my ass? I can tell you that everything works okay."

"Oh this is awesome," Axel snickered from his seat as he started to bring up the progress scans of his and Roxas' little bean in the gestational chamber.

"Stop it Axel," Roxas growled and looked to Ventus again. "I would like to just ignore it but if there's a problem you're not aware of already we need to figure it out so we can move forward. You don't honestly expect me to believe you're shy?"

"Well no, I'm not, but we're not exactly best buddies either and it's a little weird," Ventus admitted. Roxas couldn't argue the truth. He shrugged and scrolled through the list again before stopping again and sighing.

"You need to provide a sample for us again as well," he said.

"That much I can do."

"Yeah well… you need to do it in front of us so we can make sure everything is functioning properly."

"…You're serious?"

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't say anything," Roxas groaned and tossed his tablet onto the exam table with a loud clatter. He ran a hand over his face.

"If it makes you feel better I had to do the same things when I was first matured," Axel said.

"Really?" the younger blonde asked.

"Yeah. It wasn't very fun but that's when I found out how easy it was to make Saïx angry and get him all flustered," the redhead grinned.

"You had to jerk off for Saïx?" Roxas confirmed.

"Yep."

"Oh god…"

"I know," Axel laughed and turned back to the Gestational Terminal. "But when the entire system revolves around reproductive material it makes sense. Can't be squeamish. If it makes you that uncomfortable I can do all it for you."

"I'd almost prefer that," Ventus said, garnering a sharp glare from Roxas.

"Why?" the younger blonde asked, narrowing his gaze.

"Because I get along better with Axel than I do you? If it's that big of a deal you can do it. I was just saying my preference."

"I was just offering my services because you seemed uncomfortable, Roxas. I didn't mean anything by it," Axel said. The younger blonde looked between them for a minute before throwing his hands in the air.

"Fine. Do whatever you want," he said quickly and stomped away. Axel gaped at him some and watched him leave.

"What just happened?" he asked and looked to Ventus. The older blonde sighed.

"Sorry. I guess I'm just making everyone's lives more difficult lately. I'm not trying to," Ventus said and went back to his seat.

"Don't immediately blame yourself. I sort of forgot what Roxas was like when he was forced to change a little. It'll pass eventually."

"You _hope_."

"Right. Well, it is an improvement that he's going through with it still. After everything that's happened I'm surprised he didn't toss you out."

"…Why would he toss me out like that?"

"Well…damn. I shouldn't have said anything," Axel admitted and laughed a bit. "I was shot."

"Like…with a gun kind of shot or a vaccination kind of shot?"

"With bullets. Well, one bullet. The guy who did it thought Roxas was you."

"Oh. _Oh_. Motherfuckers," Ventus growled and held his face in his hands. The tension in his shoulders was evident and he let out an angry sigh. "I am so sorry. I don't…"

"You didn't do anything wrong. You can't change the past, as recent as it may be."

"I feel so guilty," Ventus said and held his face in one hand, his pained expression focused on the floor tiles. His foot started to tap in his anxiousness.

"And that's enough for me to not get angry at you. If you had started laughing or something else, I think I would've punched you in the mouth. It's okay to feel bad about it but just know that I'm not angry and I _think_ Roxas is attempting to not be angry either."

"He must blame me."

"Probably. But I don't think he's immature enough to follow through with it. He knows it wasn't your fault. It's not like you hired the guy to come and kill us or anything."

"Right, but…" Ventus tried and sighed. "I'm already in your guy's debt for taking me in and letting be a part of what you do. To have something like this come up in addition to all that I've taken from you…it's too much. I feel like I should leave so I don't cause you two any more harm."

"It's up to you whether or not you want to stay but it's not like the guy stormed the facility or anything. So long as you're here and you _stay_ here, they won't know where you are. He was caught and taken in and hopefully is being charged with gun possession or something that'll keep him away for a while. Plus, right now might be more of a trial for you but you'll be able to pay us back eventually with the work you'll do later."

"If you say so. For right now though I think I should just stay away for a few days. Be by myself and everything."

"Do I need to worry about you like I worry about Zexion?" Axel asked, pushing his eyebrows together.

"No. I'm not like that. I'll just study in my room and let you guys get back to some sense of normalcy. I'll come out for meals and stuff so you guys know I'm not dead. Besides I…I really need to think about whether or not I should stay."

"If that's what you feel you need to do, I'm not going to argue with you. Just keep what I said in mind. I'm going to go find Roxas."

"Alright. I'll…see you later."

"I hope so."

* * *

Things were going better than expected. For several days, Ventus left Roxas and Axel alone. The younger blonde still had his issues but was able to calm down considerably after he realized how stupid he was being. His immediate reaction when Ventus said he preferred Axel was that the older blonde had some sort of plan to steal the redhead away. That, coupled with how much chaos the older blonde brought with him didn't help Roxas' mentality when it came to making a rational plan of action. But, Axel was there to reassure him and he felt better after a couple hours.

The major benefit of Ventus staying away was that the pair was able to start working through the samples they had procured from Ansem's drug test. The excitement was insurmountable and they blew through several canisters before the end of the week. They lost a lot of sleep in the process but they didn't care. They were coming up with successes and by the time they were finished with all of the canisters, all three additional gestational tanks were in use. They had seven additional zygotes growing between the trio of tanks and they wrote report after report to Ansem telling him of their progress. They were both overjoyed, if a little exhausted.

Riku and Sora were coming up with similar results. Their tanks were in use as well but they managed to bring eleven samples together. According to them though, they had almost double the amount of material to work with. Sora was all giggles when he explained to his brother how much of a sperm machine Riku was, reveling in how Roxas twitched uncomfortably at the description.

After a week of solitude though, Ventus eventually came out of his cave and timidly shuffled around the lab as Roxas and Axel worked. They spent the better part of three days in relative silence together. Roxas ignored the older blonde for as long as he could but he couldn't deny that he had deadlines to attend to. Ansem was probably waiting for the Charge information that Roxas needed to get and the younger blonde cringed at the things he would have to find out.

"So, okay. I know I have to give Ventus a physical but how did you figure out all that stuff for me?" Roxas asked Axel one day. The redhead was feeling considerably better and was able to amble around on his own accord with his nerve sensitivity set back to its natural setting.

"Stole your medical records," the Carrier said simply. Roxas laughed.

"Seriously?" he asked. Axel shrugged and nodded some.

"Basically."

"Well what about the sample part? Did you watch me jerk off or something?"

"Didn't need to. Your doctor made everything clear enough for me," Axel said and ginned. Roxas' cheeks turned a bit pink.

"That's gross. My doctor never touched me like that."

"No, but that doesn't mean he never gave you a prostate exam either. Besides, I _knew_ you were having sex with your girlfriends even if I never stayed to watch. I think you would've been a little more upset had you not been able to perform. You weren't, so I didn't worry about it," the redhead chuckled lowly. "You just want me to watch you masturbate don't you?" he teased.

"No!" Roxas huffed as his cheek flew three shades darker. Ventus held back a snicker which forced him to make a strangled snort. The younger blonde sent him an acidic glare.

"It's okay though. You don't have to do anything. I've decided to leave and save you both the headache," Ventus said carefully with a small smile. Roxas scoffed.

"Oh fuck off. You're not going anywhere," he said. Ventus raised a brow.

"What do you mean? I know what I caused and how much trouble I've been. I don't wan—"

"Just stop it. You don't actually want to leave so why should you? If you had been the one to pull the trigger, I would be more upset. I'm trying my hardest to not blame you personally and separate the old Ventus from the current one so don't undo my hard mental work by blaming yourself for me. Just take it for what it is and move on," Roxas said. Ventus blinked a few times.

"R-Really?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Can I ask why?"

"Because I'm tried of being angry and stressed all the time. As weird as it may sound, Axel and I have an entire family growing right now and the relief of success and not having to worry too much about how far behind we are has helped me clear my head considerably."

"Success is like Roxas' drug of choice," Axel added with a sage nod. The younger blonde shrugged and smiled.

"I can agree with that. It's a nice thing to have. I just hope everyone can hang on long enough to mature," he said and looked the gestational tanks over carefully.

"Well…we'll introduce the Blanks in three months, go on our trip, and come back and worry about it then. I'm sure they'll be okay."

"I know," Roxas said and took a deep breath. He looked to Ventus. "So you're staying."

"Um, okay," Ventus agreed warily.

"Don't think you're off the hook though. You still have a lot of ground to cover and you _will_ work you ass off."

"Okay," the older blonde said and shuffled his foot on the floor.

"Fine. When did you want to do your physical?"

"Whenever, I guess. I don't have much to do outside of studying."

"Alright. Give me a few minutes to get everything together and we can get it over with," Roxas said and set his tablet down to go dig around in the cabinet. Ventus furrowed his brows together, unable to really understand what had just happened. He was certain he would be out on the streets by this point but he figured he shouldn't push his luck. He went to Axel, who was sitting at the Gestational Terminal again checking the gestational tanks and making sure everything was alright.

"So how many girls and how many guys?" Ventus asked, looking over the redhead's shoulder.

"Total? Or just from the seven new ones?" Axel asked.

"Total."

"Well, the bean is a girl as you know. There are four other females and three males and then myself. If they all come to maturity, then we'll only be two Carriers away from meeting the quota and then we can work on cubs. Hopefully we won't have to wait too long for two more to come along," the Carrier explained and smiled to himself.

"Maybe Ansem will send us another dose of the drug and we can get even more," Roxas said, pulling out several pairs of rubber gloves, some sterile moist towelettes, a few plastic tongue depressors, and the tube of lubricating gel before going to the exam table and depositing it all onto its surface. He then crossed the lab again and went to the storage closet in the back. He remerged pushing a small box-like cart across the room. He left it by the exam table and pulled the electrical chord from the back of it and went to find an available plug in the wall close by. The metal cart itself was an off-white cream color with a small screen on it. Hanging off of its side was a blood pressure cuff, an otoscope and a hefty supply of disposable plastic speculums, a stethoscope, and an ear thermometer. Ventus raised a brow at it all.

"Do I get a lollipop after all this, doctor?" he asked with an amused smile.

"Nope. Sorry. You get to jerk off into a cup for an audience," Roxas said flatly. "If you want to get really weird about it, I can go and find you a rectal thermometer."

"No thanks. I'm good. You know, I had a physical about five years ago if you wanted to steal my medical records," Ventus offered.

"Not recent enough. It's a nice idea though," the younger blonde said. Axel finished what he was doing and went to the lab doors to close the blinds over the windows.

* * *

Two weeks without Demyx was not fun. Zexion was holding it together though. His past mistakes reminded him over and over what he shouldn't do to cope with the empty feeling he had in his chest. His first temptation was to sleep. And sleep. And sleep. And sleep, until Demyx was finished healing and they could fill the void with each other again. That's what he needed to stay away from though. It was an unhealthy thing to do, considering the things he thought of doing in order to _keep_ himself asleep.

He found that he eventually got the message across to his friends though. After several days of incessant 'I'm fine's to them all, they left him alone. Though he did catch the occasional tuft of red or blonde hair moving past the lab windows when they didn't need to be. He was alright with that much. So long as he was alone and able to think, he was fine. Or so he told himself.

Demyx's siblings had come to check on him several times over the last two weeks, and none of them stayed very long. Zexion didn't give them much to go off of aside from a 'he's stable' and they seemed satisfied with that much. The tarp stayed over the Diagnostic Care Center's tube where the sandy haired Carrier floated constantly. Zexion didn't allow anyone to touch it, even himself. Seeing Demyx so incapacitated and helpless made his chest hurt and forced him to remember that they were apart. Well, he was always aware that they were separated but he didn't like the reinforcement. So he milled about, getting his work done and hoping that Demyx's samples wouldn't degrade too much before he was allowed to come out from his watery prison.

"Zexion?" came a calm and even voice. The steely haired Charge turned from the Extractor to see Leon's face poking through the doors.

"Yes?" he asked.

"You have a couple of visitors."

"…I do?"

"Yes. Did you want to meet them outside or should I bring them in here?" Leon asked. Zexion shrugged.

"I suppose I could go to them," he said and turned off the Extractor's cutting mechanism before heading off for the doors. He followed Leon down the hall, around the corner, noticed that Axel and Roxas' lab door blinds were drawn, and around another corner before being brought out to the obstacle course. In the middle of the grass in front of the path that led to the canine facility, were Xigbar and Mary. Xigbar, in his Implant form, heaved a sigh and looked relatively displeased to be there and teetered on his crutches to keep himself amused. Mary looked less than thrilled as well but not quite as bored.

"Did you want me to stay?" Leon asked when they stepped outside. Zexion shook his head and the Carrier nodded before leaving him. The Charge took his time getting across the grass. When he reached them he stood with his arms crossed over his chest and a light glare in his eyes.

"What?" he asked impolitely. Xigbar gave him a sour look but Mary started speaking before he had a chance to say anything.

"We've been given two options," she said though her voice sounded a little shaky.

"I assume you mean about the child?" Zexion asked. She nodded.

"Abortion, which you already know our stance on that, and another one that Axel suggested to us in passing. If we could run a test to see how compatible Demyx and I are, we could very well donate the child to your project with the hopes that another Carrier could be made from it," she said carefully. Zexion lifted a brow.

"I still don't think we should give them _anything_ ," Xigbar sneered through his teeth, giving Zexion a menacing look. Mary elbowed him in the ribs.

"Stop it. I've already told you that Demyx isn't to blame for what happened," she chided.

"We should keep it for ourselves and see if Demyx is compatible with _me_ and make it _our_ Carrier," Xigbar spat.

"We have enough. We have to give something back to make up for what you did to him. He could've _died_ and then what? You'd have his and the child's blood on your hands when the Technicians would come to take it without Demyx around for the other option. Do you really want that?" she asked, turning to her Carrier with an angry scowl. They held a stubborn staring contest with one another for a moment before Xigbar scoffed and looked away.

"Fuck its life over for all I care," he grumbled. "Make it a damn pussy cat; see if I give a damn when you regret it. Fucking stuck up jackholes…" he trailed and clicked away from the pair on his crutches. He found a rock in the obstacle course and sat on it with a grumpy huff. Mary sighed and shook her head and looked to Zexion again.

"Is that something you would rather we do? I'd much rather it have a life, any kind of life, than just killing it outright," she asked quietly. Zexion furrowed his brows.

"Are the Technicians willing to give us the equipment to handle a dual gestation? We already have one growing and introducing another one at random like that could cost us that additional life," he said.

"I would assume so. They wouldn't have given me the option had they not thought that through enough. You're willing to though? Even if it isn't your child?" she asked bluntly.

"It's not my ideal situation, I'll admit. But I can't deny what an opportunity it would be. You would have to give birth here though. In our lab."

"Yes, I know. I'm not very excited about it but if it's the only other option, then I can't really argue."

"Your genetic map is in the Catalogue though, correct?" Zexion asked. She nodded. "Alright. I suppose we can do that now if you want. Is Xigbar going to join us?" he asked.

"He can stay out here. He's being a little hard to handle today," Mary said and gave him a small smile. Zexion shrugged his indifference before turning and heading back towards the facility with the girl on his heels. Xigbar watched them leave with a surly glare but didn't move from his spot on the rock. The pair of Charges made their way though the halls quietly and eventually made it back to Demyx and Zexion's lab. Mary took a seat and Zexion immediately went to the Catalogue terminal to bring up her information along with Demyx's. He set the machine to run a comparison before turning to the girl.

"I'm going to be completely honest. I have mixed feelings about this. I'm grateful you're offering us a life and progress instead of wasting it but a selfish part of me desires only Carriers of mine and Demyx's blood. I sort of feel you're encroaching on our territory even though that isn't your intention," Zexion said flatly.

"I understand. That's why I hesitated. I would feel strange as well but like I said, life is better than nothing even if I won't have much control over it. Would you allow me to visit?" Mary asked.

"I don't see why not, though I'm not entirely sure we should let it know that it's a child of rape and the awful circumstances surrounding its life."

"I can understand that as well, but at the same time I would feel incredibly… hurt, as a mother to see her child grow without it knowing where it came from."

"I don't know what other explanation there would be unless we made it sound like Demyx wasn't entirely faithful to me. I'm not so sure that's the best plan either," he said and rubbed his brows a bit. "For now, I don't think we can decide that just yet. Not without Demyx anyway."

"When will he be able to come out?" she asked quietly and looked to the Diagnostic Care Center.

"Not for several more weeks. Probably around four if I had to wager a guess. His progress scans are positive for early recovery stages but it's still uncertain."

"Will you call me when he's ready to talk?" she asked. Zexion nodded.

"I will. Or he will. We'll be in touch," he said quickly. The Catalogue finished analyzing the data and Zexion turned to the machine to check the results. "It says you're twenty-seven percent compatible," he said. Mary brightened some.

"That's great! Good enough for Carrier production!" she said. He nodded and straightened again and looking to her.

"Hopefully this will work. I don't think I've ever heard of it happening," he said.

"Well the way I see it, as morbid as it may be, if we get an abortion now, we never gave it a chance. Even if it dies when it's introduced to the gestational chamber and the Implant, we at least gave it a chance at life before giving up hope. Either way, the only other option I have is certain death and I want to avoid it."

"It's a nice philosophy. I just hope Demyx shares the same sentiments."

"…You don't think he will?" she asked cautiously. Zexion shrugged.

"I can't speak for him. I can remember a lot of times where I thought for certain he would react one way but then surprised me by doing the complete opposite. I know him pretty well when it comes to the subject of children though. I can't say for certain but I think he'll be fine with it."

 _I just hope I'll be alright with it eventually too_ , he thought to himself.


	69. Chapter 69

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was a Zemyx day chapter. It's completely arbitrary to the actual plot of Save the Kittens. Just a forewarning.

**Chapter 69**

Demyx enjoyed his simple life while he was staying in Germany. He spent twenty-three years covering his historical tracks and while time consuming and a little exhausting, he was rewarded greatly with experiences and life fulfilling know-how. He had many human friends, a small house of his own with a generous plot of land in a secluded country corner outside of Bautzen, a job at the local butcher shop just inside the city itself, and anything else he could need, including a very small herd of cattle. He didn't have much, but he didn't need much. His cattle were enough to supply him with food and when they weren't ready to eat, he always had his job at the butcher shop to supplement his meals.

Of course, like any Carrier, he had to return back to his own plane once every few years, but his minimal absences in his entire stay in Bautzen wasn't a cause for concern. No, his only problems came when Zexion wanted to visit or he needed to change. His house was incredibly small (barely three rooms) but the area underneath it, the cellar, was enormous. That's where Demyx housed his Catalogue terminal, and the portal connecting Bautzen with his home plane. Since he didn't have hard wired electricity, the Technicians had assisted him in faceting a series of solar panels to the roof of his little home disguised as shingles. The only problem with that was, it was constantly drawing energy in and it was difficult to hide the soft bluish glow that radiated out from under the cellar door on constant basis since he couldn't really turn anything off. He knew Zexion was curious about it, but thankfully his Charge had enough tact to not ask.

His Primal wasn't exactly a squirrel. He couldn't hide very well when he needed to change and tended to stick to padding around inside his home when he was on four legs. It was upsetting and sometimes he pushed his luck and sprinted around on his property, scaring the hell out of his cattle, and disregarding how out of place he was. The instances were few and far between though, since he knew the dangers, but he needed to do it at least a couple times a year to keep the equilibrium in his body. He hated being by himself though. For as useful as seclusion was, he was horribly lonely. He spent most of his free time watching Zexion by way of his camera moths. His Charge was so oblivious to the insects sometimes and Demyx was able to follow him with relative ease.

Demyx had a choice. The time period he was in was full of conservative mind sets and religious rule. If anything overly strange were to happen, the person involved could very well be ostracized from society, which wasn't good. So, the use of hallucinogenic materials was not a good way to go as far as making contact with his Charge. If Zexion were to wake up with black goo dripping from his ears and tell tales of a giant cat that he's never seen before invading his dreams, his overly conservative family could deem him all sorts of things and quite possibly bring about his downfall way before it was his time. The only other option Demyx had to prevent that from happening was showing everything to him to his face. It was the more difficult option and had far more risks. If Demyx were to scare Zexion too much, the Charge had the means and the livelihood to come back and hunt him down. It was a fine line and he took it very seriously.

The following weeks after Zexion had found out about his wife's affair were not easy. She was still living in his home until the divorce was finalized since her father had essentially disowned her after the news of her adulterous ways came to light and Zexion wasn't heartless enough to toss her out into homelessness. He did cut her off of everything else though outside of her basic needs. She had a bed to sleep in (far smaller than their marital bed and on the other side of the house) and food to eat. Outside of that though, she was on her own. If she had been any other woman though, she would've taken what she was given and attempted to start over. But not her, oh no. Not Ilka. She continued to push her luck with Zexion's patience by either attempting to solicit sex from him, or bringing home suitor after suitor to lay with.

Needless to say, he was not pleased. The benefit to being male and in the same situation though was that it wasn't as frowned upon to go out and find someone to bring home for the evening. Only, Zexion didn't enjoy whores soiling his bed. He couldn't deny that he still had needs though. He had held several conversations with his father in order to gauge his reaction on certain things. It was mostly back and fourth banter on how worthless his soon to be ex-wife was and how unsatisfying she was but the important part came at the end of the conversation that gave Zexion the go ahead to satisfy himself, but it was bittersweet.

"You're free of her for now. May as well enjoy it until I can find you another wife. Hopefully the next one won't be such a whore," his father said and pushed a small sum of money his way.

Now, Zexion was a little taken aback by that statement. Not only was his father buying him a whore for the evening, but he was also telling Zexion that he was planning on ruining his life again. Clearly his father was looking for valuable investment options as far as his marital life went, but it wasn't entirely fair for Zexion. Once he was tied to another woman, even if she was fantastic, it still wasn't what he wanted. He still wasn't free, he still wasn't his own person, and he still couldn't even try to figure himself out any more than he already had. To think that he would be locked away in his father's prison until the man died was an awful thing. He really hadn't expected a second wife, but now that the intentions were obvious, he was expecting a third, and a fourth, maybe even a fifth.

Before it came to that point though, Zexion felt he should attempt to find something other than Demyx to fill the void in his life with. After several weeks of revisiting the whore houses that had missed his company from his younger years, and finding little solace there, he turned to other material things. After a rampage of spending on anything he could think that he wanted, he still didn't feel any better. Drinking, though enjoyable enough, wasn't his forte unless he had an occasion to. For as much as he liked his solitude, he still felt he needed someone to drink with otherwise he felt horribly pathetic. Having a beer or two a day by himself wasn't the problem, it was the getting completely annihilated part that was sad. He had goaded Demyx into trying a little in the past but the sandy blonde promptly grimaced and then soon after vomited as if Zexion had poisoned him. Zexion didn't try again after that.

The only time Zexion found any peace was when he was sleeping. In his waking hours, his mind was racing with all manner of unpleasant thoughts. Thoughts of how he was hardly in control of his own life, thoughts of how unobtainable Demyx was, how empty his life had become after he stopped studying to focus on work and his father's demands, but most of all, the thoughts of how utterly pathetic he was for letting it all happen in the first place. His solitary nature slowly overwhelmed him as he sat in his study for hours upon hours at a time when he wasn't with his father. Ilka still lived with him (even after five months after declaring the divorce) and even she left him alone during those times. The paperwork was being sorted out and he doubted that he would be rid of her before the year was over, but so long as she stayed away, he could stand it. Besides, he got a sort of twisted entertainment whenever he came home from the brothels to find her sulking around the house in a huff because of how utterly satisfied he led her to believe he was. He wasn't, but he was a relatively decent actor when he wanted to be.

Demyx was growing worried for Zexion as the time progressed. His Charge was growing more and more distant from him, as well as everyone else. The hours upon hours he spent sleeping were also a concern. Zexion had taken to lacing tobacco with poppy latex or smoking the pods outright in order to knock himself out. To escape. After an hour of whirlwind blissful mental activity he would suddenly plop onto his bed and be dead to the world for several hours after. If he didn't have something important to do, he would start the cycle again after he woke up. It wasn't necessarily illegal at the time, but Demyx knew the repercussions of such abuse. He was almost jealous of Zexion's ignorance on how unhealthily he was treating his body. The end of his downfall timeline was growing close and Demyx was getting anxious. So, two weeks after Zexion's twenty eighth birthday, Demyx decided to pay his friend a little visit.

The maids were happy to see the sandy blonde, as usual, and they let him in readily. They warned him that Zexion was sleeping though and probably wouldn't be very exciting to visit with. Demyx shrugged them off with a smile and went to his Charge's bedroom anyway, where he found Zexion, as expected. The Carrier went to his Charge's side and started to poke at him. It wasn't that hard to do since Zexion had passed out on his stomach in the halfway stages of undress and was sprawled all over his bed unceremoniously without even getting under the covers. If he hadn't been under some drug induced coma, Demyx would've found the scene funny, but it wasn't the time for such pleasantries.

"Zex," the sandy blonde tried as he rolled his Charge over onto his back. He crawled up onto the edge of the bed and leaned over his friend to tap him on his cheek several times. Zexion, though breathing and seemingly alright, didn't respond. Demyx tapped him a little harder. Then a little more. And then a little more. It wasn't until the sandy blonde reared back and slapped him harshly across his face did Zexion wake up and even then, the effect was hardly satisfying. The Charge slowly pulled his eyes open and brought a hand to his face to rub his abused cheek lightly with a scowl.

"What was that for?" Zexion groaned, looking up at Demyx lazily. The Carrier sighed sadly with furrowed brows.

"Time to wake up," he said and gave his friend a small uncertain smile. Zexion's vision was blurry and he slowly blinked at the wobbly face in front of his own. Demyx waited for his Charge's eyes to adjust.

"Dem…?" Zexion questioned, squinting at his friend.

"Yep," the sandy blonde confirmed with a slightly wider smile. A few moments of confused and hazy pondering passed before Zexion fully registered what was happening. Demyx was there with him, in his bed, looking down at him with a smile. His delirious mind slowly pieced things together in a sort of awkward manner.

"I'm dreaming," he concluded and closed his eyes again and attempted to roll back over. Demyx's hand on his chest kept him planted in place for a second before he used his free hand to peel Zexion's eyelids open again. The sandy blonde lifted a brow when the Charge reopened his eyes with a disgruntled face.

"I'm afraid you're not," Demyx said finitely. Zexion blinked at him a few more times, as his brain attempted to figure out if it was true or not. He couldn't decide. The scenario seemed unlikely, but the hand on his chest was all too real.

"Let me finish my…my…" the Charge trailed as he started to drift off again. Demyx furrowed his brows and slapped him across the face again, garnering an angry yelp. Zexion jolted awake again and punched his friend in the arm. "Stop that!" he barked.

"You've been sleeping too much!" Demyx cried with a glare. In order to keep Zexion from relaxing back and attempting to drift away again, he scooted back a foot and took his Charge's wrists and pulled him upright. Zexion offered no help and flopped forward tiredly, blinking blearily at his blankets. The sandy blonde picked up his face by his jaw and used his free hand to tap his fingers against the Charge's face. After a moment or two of abuse, Zexion let out a frustrated growl and attempted to pull Demyx's hands off himself.

"Stop!" he barked again, and sent the Carrier a glare. The sandy blonde released him but kept close to start again if Zexion started to fade. The Charge squinted at him for a moment in quiet contemplation before looking at his bed tiredly, then back to him again.

"Are you awake now?" Demyx asked impatiently.

"No, but if you…if you contin—you to beat me, I have no ch—" Zexion attempted as his eyes started to slip closed again. Demyx grabbed onto his Charge's nipple and gave it a rough twist. Zexion gasped and grabbed his wrist instantly, letting out a pained yowl. Demyx released him after a moment, but kept his glare firm. Zexion gaped at him. "Are you insane?" he yelled, rubbing his chest angrily.

"You told me to stop hitting you! So I tried something different!" the Carrier cried defensively.

"Stop hurting me!" Zexion yelled back.

"You're hurting yourself!"

"How is trying to take a nap hurting me?"

"Zex, it's after 16:00! You can't tell me this is normal!" the sandy blonde protested. Zexion opened his mouth to say something but closed it quickly. His first instinct was to tell Demyx to 'just leave me alone' but he knew he didn't want that even with his hazy mind. The sudden rush of unabashed emotions crashed into him as he thought about it more. Demyx pushed his brows together worriedly as the conflict of interests played out through Zexion's eyes. "Hey…" he said.

"This is a dream," the Charge repeated flatly and balled his hands into fists before mashing his palms into his eyes. "Please… just let me sleep."

"But Zex, you need to stop. It isn't healthy to be so reclusive. I haven't seen you in forever. We're still friends, right? I didn't do something to make you turn inward like this, did I?" Demyx asked quietly and put a hand on Zexion's shoulder. The Charge's skin broke out in goosebumps but he held his face in his hands still in order to keep himself steady. His control was slipping as he attempted to stay alert and the remnants of his substance abuse were making it hard to focus completely.

"No. I just…please stop touching me," he said after a few minutes of hesitation. A pang was sent through Demyx's chest as his mind whirled through his options. He chewed on the inside of his cheek in thought. He was taking a risk simply by being there in the first place and so long as Zexion was using, he didn't plan on straying very far anymore. He figured it was alright for the next step so long as he could be there to prevent his Charge from doing anything drastic. So instead of giving in and listening to Zexion's pleas, he scooted a bit closer and wrapped his arms around his Charge and pulled him to his chest. Zexion sucked in a breath and he froze.

"I don't want to leave you like this," the sandy blonde said and laid his cheek against the steely hairs and hugged him tight. "Don't push me away when you're in so much pain."

"Don't taunt me like this. I beg you. It isn't fair. Not…not while…" Zexion said as he started to fade again against his will. Demyx pet the back of his hair reassuringly.

"You're going to stop this. I'll let you sleep it off this one last time but I'm not leaving you to destroy yourself," he said. Zexion was silent as his consciousness slowly drifted away. Demyx held him close until the Charge lay completely still against him. He let out a sigh which was a mixture of relief and sadness. He gently resettled Zexion back on the bed before pushing himself out of it.

Immediately, he took up the bottle of liquid opium and the small bundle of pods from Zexion's side table and went to one of the bedroom's windows. Hurling the offending things as far as he could into the tall grasses behind the home was probably one of the most cleansing experiences he would ever have. It gave him a small sense of victory even though he knew his battle was only just starting. Zexion had no concept that he was doing anything harmful to himself and the impending withdrawal was going to be horrendous. Granted, it would've been much worse had he been taking the future chemically manipulated cousins of opium but it still wasn't exactly going to be a picnic under a rainbow. Demyx searched around in his Charge's room and came up with a few more pods, but not much else, which was fine with him. He would've liked to go into Zexion's study and root through there as well, but that would've been suspicious and the maids may have asked questions. So, he locked the bedroom door and crawled back in the bed with his Charge to wait for him to wake up.

**~o~**

After another two hours, Zexion finally stirred. Albeit, the stirring was more akin to a slug crawling through a pit of sludge, but he was awake. There was something in front of his face and he assumed it was a pillow. Pulling his arms up and curling them around the surface to hug whatever it was firmly into his skin pulled him out of his cloudy mind a little more. It was firm, sort of square, and had a pulse. His eyes flew open and backed himself away a few inches with a gasp when he realized he had just nuzzled his face into Demyx's chest. He shoved the Carrier away from himself and held his hands together against his chest as if he had burned them. Demyx opened his eyes and blinked a few times to clear away his cat nap. Zexion bolted upright and backed himself away quickly. He didn't realize how close he was to the edge of the mattress though and flopped backwards off of the bed and onto the floor with a loud ' _thud_.'

"Zex!" Demyx cried and crawled across the bed quickly to look down at him. Zexion was hardly fazed by his fall but stared up at the sandy blonde from the floor with wide eyes and frantic breathing, and his legs up in the air.

"Wh-What are you doing here?!" the Charge cried hoarsely.

"You don't remember? I came to check on you since you worried me by not talking to me for so long."

"I remember that part but why are you here _still_?"

"Because I'm worried about you," Demyx said, partially repeating himself.

"I'm fine," Zexion replied quickly. The sandy blonde sighed and reached over the edge of the bed and grabbed his Charge's ankles before hauling him back over the edge and onto the mattress properly again. Zexion let out a strangled yelp with the activity but it was quickly silenced when Demyx pulled him against his chest again.

"No, you're not. You're pushing everyone away again and this time you're not doing anything useful like reading a book. You're just sleeping the days away and it's not healthy. I'm worried, Zex. I don't like it when you're like this," the Carrier explained and hugged him close. Zexion's mind, though considerably less inebriated, was still extremely confused. His friend had never been so physical with him before. Not even after their awkward kiss on his wedding day nearly two years ago. He was extremely paranoid that this was just some sick joke, but he desperately wished it wasn't.

"I'm sorry…I didn't realize I was hurting you," he said carefully, not trusting himself to hug Demyx back. He swallowed thickly. Demyx pulled away from him and he looked his Charge over. To him, Zexion looked like he was about to burst into tears. Whether he was actually going to or not was yet to be determined.

"Why are you hiding from me?" the sandy blonde asked quietly.

"I'm not, I'm right here," Zexion insisted.

"No, I mean… why didn't you ever say anything to me? You've been so careful and nervous whenever you've been around me anymore. Even before you stopped talking to me, which is also confusing. I feel like I did something wrong."

"You didn't!" the Charge blurted quickly, an overwhelming sense of guilt coming over him. Demyx knew how scared Zexion was of him. The Charge had made it blatantly obvious over the last few years and the sandy blonde had seen it all, even the parts where Zexion thought he was alone and didn't notice the moth sitting high on his wall watching him. The only problem was that Zexion needed to admit it to him openly for it to be marked as any sort of progress.

"Well… then why?" Demyx asked. Zexion looked away from him and remained silent. The teasing was becoming insatiable and the sandy blonde had to focus in order to keep himself from blurting something that would ruin what little stability they had.

"I…my father said…that he's finding me another wife," the Charge said finally.

"What does that have to do with me? He hasn't come to me and propositioned anything," Demyx tried to joke with a small smile.

"No, but I don't want another wife."

"You never wanted the first one, why would this be any different?"

"Because it's torture. To be forced to spend the rest of your days with someone you don't even like while the one you do want is so close by and so…so caring and understanding and such a beautiful person…it's painful. So very painful. That's why I'm so upset. I don't want to drag you down with me so I figured the best alternative is to leave you alone so you can live in peace. Marry someone you love, Dem. Don't do it out of necessity," Zexion said.

"I don't care about marriage. If you do though, that's fine, but I never got that impression. I also never got the impression you had feelings for someone," Demyx lied. "You do though? Who is it? I'd love to meet her," he said and smiled, ignoring the way his heart was about to burst out of his chest in anticipation. Suddenly Zexion's eyes turned fearful and he looked to the quilt underneath them, studying it as if it was the last thing he was ever going do. "Zex? I'm not going to laugh if she's not the most prestigious woman around. You love who you love, it doesn't matter who it is to me," Demyx urged.

"It's…it's shameful for me to like this person the way I do. I don't want to welcome ridicule," the Charge admitted and looked up to Demyx through stray pieces of his hair.

"Ridicule? From who? Me? You must be joking!" Demyx laughed. He took Zexion's hands in his casually and shook them excitedly with a wide smile. "Come come! Tell me!" The Charge looked at their hands thoughtfully for a few moments. His pulse was racing a mile a minute as his frantic mind tried to put together a coherent sentence.

"Give me your word that you won't leave me?" Zexion asked quietly. Demyx raised a brow.

"Of course I'm not going to leave you," he said.

"I have your word?"

"Yes yes," Demyx replied anxiously with a smile.

"You're sure?" Zexion asked. The sandy blonde sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Zexion. You have my word."

"Even if it's completely disgusting and unnatural?"

"Unnatural? Please don't tell me you wish to marry a chicken or something," Demyx said and furrowed his brows. "I mean, I'll support you in whatever you want to do but I think that may take a bit of adjustment on my part before I can commit."

"No, it's not like _that_."

"Then why do you call it so?"

"Because…" Zexion trailed. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head a bit. "Because I'm in love with another man," he blurted quickly, anticipating some sort of earthquake to happen or for Demyx to strike him.

"And this is new and exciting, why?" Demyx asked curiously. Zexion opened his eyes and looked to his friend with his mouth hanging open a bit. The sandy blonde grinned and squeezed his hands. "You seem to forget your wedding day. If that wasn't any indication you had no interest in women, I don't know what is," he said calmly, hoping to lead Zexion to believe he had figured out his sexuality by that simple act alone and not years of watching him from the shadows.

"Well…I don't think I have _zero_ interest in women. They're easy enough to sleep with but I've never _loved_ one before."

"Such a ladies man," Demyx teased and giggled. Zexion shrugged but kept his eyes averted. "So who is it?" the sandy blonde persisted. The Charge shook his head.

"I don't want to say."

"Why? I've already told you I'm not going to ridicule you."

"I know…but a general topic versus specifics is always easier to deal with," Zexion defended.

"But I wish to know."

"No, Dem. Please just drop it."

"I'm not going to. If this person is the one you want, you can have him. We just need to go out and hunt for him and make him see how much he means to you. I'm sure he'll feel the same way once he sees how amazing you are," Demyx proclaimed. Zexion chuckled wryly.

"You make it sound as if there are so many more men like me. I highly doubt that. Something must have caused me to be like this. It's shameful," he said flatly.

"Well now wait, that isn't fair. How do you know I don't have the same desires? Would that make me shameful, too?" the sandy blonde protested with a huff. Zexion looked to him then with a firm and steady focus.

"D-Do you? Are you?" he asked, his throat suddenly dry. Demyx smiled at him again.

"Do you think I am? I wasn't upset when you kissed me, I've never been with _anyone_ let alone a woman, I don't have any children, and I'm not bothered by your confession in the least nor do I think the notion is disgusting," he explained. Zexion stared at him intently for a few moments as he let the idea digest.

"Don't toy with me like that," he said quietly.

"I'm not, Zex. I'm being honest with you."

"Just tell me frankly. Are we the same?"

"In that regard, yes."

"Y-you're serious?" Zexion asked and swallowed thickly. Demyx nodded.

"Do you really not believe me?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well even if you don't, will you tell me who you're pining for?" the Carrier asked carefully.

"You won't leave?" Zexion asked.

"No. I've already said this," his friend sighed. Zexion looked thoughtful again, and a bit nervous. Demyx was struggling to keep himself from pouncing on his Charge and the anticipation mounted considerably.

"You," he said finally. His face flushed with color and he looked away, ashamed.

"Me?" Demyx asked curiously, trying his best to sound surprised because he knew he should. Zexion swallowed thickly and nodded a few times, unable to get his throat to cooperate with him and force himself to speak. Demyx let out the giddy squeal he had been holding back and abruptly crushed Zexion to his chest. The Charge startled, the reaction unexpected, and he grunted as the air was squeezed from his lungs. "I'm so happy!" the sandy blonde twittered and nuzzled his face against Zexion's hair. It took the Charge a minute to gather himself.

"Really?" he asked and pulled away a bit to see Demyx's face and recapture his breath. The Carrier nodded several times with an enormous grin across his face.

"Of course! Why shouldn't I be?" he asked.

"Well…I…don't know," Zexion trailed. Demyx giggled.

"Just know that it's true. I'm happy. You should be too."

"I know I should. I'm…relieved before anything else though. I've confused myself again. I'm not really sure how to deal with it. I'm…you're really not upset?" Zexion asked suspiciously and sat up. Demyx released him but took his hands again.

"No, I'm really not," the sandy blonde assured and smiled. "Is it that foreign of a concept?"

"Well I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I feel but the immediate acceptance is new, yes," Zexion admitted. "I mean…I'm glad you're so receptive but it doesn't change the fact that I can't pursue anything with you. Which is what's hampering my celebration," he said. Demyx raised a brow curiously.

"Oh? Is it because of your father?" he asked.

"Yes. He's the one who's really in control of my life and…" Zexion said and squinted thoughtfully. "Why is it so easy to talk to you all of a sudden?" he asked. Demyx grinned.

"Well you just told me you loved me, I guess everything else pales in comparison. Quite honestly I don't give a damn what your father thinks. Even if he does find you another random woman to marry for his own personal benefit, you could always run away with me," the Carrier giggled. It was Zexion's turn to raise a brow.

"Run away with you? You're serious?" Demyx nodded. "To where?" he asked.

"There are a _lot_ of things you don't know about me, Zex. I'm ready to not hide it anymore and part of that is my connection to places outside of Bautzen."

"Outside? Like outside of Germany entirely?"

"Oh yes. But right now, you're free to do as you please so we don't have to worry about it," Demyx said soothingly and reached up to run his fingers through Zexion's hair a bit. It was entirely too symmetrical for his tastes and made a mental note to urge his Charge to change it eventually. "Everything about me will come to light eventually; you just need to trust me. Did you still have aspirations to be a doctor?" he asked. Zexion blinked a few times.

"Are you telling me that I could resume my studies if I ran away with you?" he asked cautiously.

"Well really, nothing was stopping you from studying to begin with if you think about it. You could've continued reading your books just like anything else but you chose to worry and sleep all day," Demyx chided. Zexion furrowed his brows. The Carrier giggled again. "We are our own worst enemies, Zex. I don't blame you for anything you've done in the past. It was your own mind that got in your way more times than you probably thought to admit. I would actually encourage your studies, yes. I'd let you handle yourself however you pleased so long as you don't push me away again and you stay healthy."

"You mean that?" the Charge asked. Demyx nodded with a smile. "That sounds so nice…" Zexion sighed.

"Doesn't it though?"

"It does. It's unrealistic, but it certainly sounds nice."

"Unrealistic?"

"If I could abandon everything I'm responsible for in order to be my own person, I would've done it years ago. But what would my family say? Even if I was disowned, my parents are too old to have anymore children to fill the void. I couldn't do that to them. If you're willing to stay with me while I have this period of mild freedom, I'm not going to push you away, but I can't guarantee how long it would last. Think about it Dem, we can't have children. What about my family's bloodline? What about heirs?"

"I suppose that's true," Demyx lied. The urge to spill the entire story to him bubbled up but he squelched it down again. He wasn't discouraged though and kept his smile. "But you're willing to give it a try though? Even it's only temporary?" he asked.

"Yes. The rational part of myself is telling me to cut it off here and save us both the prolonged pain but…I've wanted this too much for too long. Do…Do you think less of me for saying so?" Zexion asked hesitantly. Demyx grinned.

"Of course not. I've been waiting for you to say something for years."

"Y-you knew?"

"You kissed me on your wedding day. There were plenty of men at the reception you could've attempted to make a pass at but you chose me. It was a subtle hint to say the least," the sandy blonde said sarcastically. He let out a small nervous giggle as his cheeks turned a bit pink. "Forgive me for saying strange things but… when we're together, regardless of the circumstance, I feel like I've loved you even before you were born."

"Alright…" Zexion trailed, unsure of what to make of it. Demyx laughed.

"My apologies. That was a bit much, wasn't it?"

"A bit. But, I've come to expect it from you so I'm not that bothered by it. I'm glad though. I was so fearful that all of this was one sided. Even if we do progress, I'm curious to know what you meant when you said I'm not aware of a lot of thing about you. Can you tell me something that I don't know?"

"Well…" Demyx trailed as he thought it over. He gave Zexion a lopsided grin as his cheeks colored again. "I have…a condition of sorts I guess you could say."

"A condition?"

"Yes. Well, it's more of an embarrassing thing that happens whenever I perspire too much. I tend to get rather…erm, musky? I suppose would be the best way to put it?" the Carrier admitted sheepishly with a small chuckle.

"…Don't we all?" Zexion asked.

"Not like this though. This is far more than you've probably ever been assaulted with," Demyx laughed. "It's downright wretched at times."

"That's… different," the Charge said and rubbed the back of his hair a bit, mulling the information over.

"Well it's true. You wanted to know something and I told you."

"Anything else I should watch out for?" Zexion asked with a raised brow.

"Well unless you're afraid of my teeth, there isn't a whole lot I think I should concern you with just yet. Well… actually there may be one thing. Though I'm not sure how to word it," Demyx admitted after some thought. He made a thoughtful face before picking up Zexion's hand and folding his fingers down until just his index stood straight. "Just… trust me on this," the sandy blonde said and stuck his tongue out before pulling the Charge's finger forward and resting the tip on it. Zexion startled and pulled his hand away quickly.

"What…what the hell is that?" he asked, his curiosity instantly piqued even though he was surprised. Demyx shrugged and put the tongue away. "No no, wait. Again," Zexion said and pushed himself forward and stared intently at Demyx's mouth. The Carrier giggled at him before obliging him and sticking his tongue out again. Zexion grabbed his jaw with one hand to hold him in place before taking the muscle in between his thumb and index finger. He felt the texture by rubbing with his thumb several times. "That is the most fascinating thing I've seen in a long while," he admitted and sat back when he was satisfied. "Were your parents some sort of strange feline people?" he asked abruptly. Demyx laughed.

"Not quite, no. I'm glad it doesn't scare you though. I was a little worried."

"I'm a little perplexed but I'm not frightened of it," Zexion said before he laughed. "It almost reminds me of the book _Frankenstein_ by Mary Shelley; having a body made up of various obscure parts and all. Not that I feel you're a monster or anything because I don't. You're far more…appealing than that," he admitted with a light blush. Demyx grinned.

"I'm glad you think so. Though I will admit I do feel like Frankenstein's monster sometimes, myself. The few features I have that set me apart from everyone else makes it painfully obvious how different I am at times."

"You're not _that_ different."

"Thank you for saying so," Demyx smiled, hoping Zexion would be just as accepting when he figured the rest out.


	70. Chapter 70

**Chapter 70**

Peaceful moments were to be treasured. Between work, the divorce, family pressure, and the meetings with potential bride candidates, Zexion had very few of those snippets of time. He had met more women in a week than he had ever cared to and only two of the girls seemed relatively interesting. But, it wasn't his choice. Sure, he could tell his father 'oh she's pretty nice, I'd like to see more of her' but it just didn't work that way. So there he sat, silent. He would half pay attention to what the bride's fathers would say, but he really didn't see the point in participating. His ex-wife's reactions were always fun though. She tended to tackle him when he came home and would demand to know what the other women were like. He had fun brushing her off.

There came a point though, where Zexion couldn't take all the activity anymore. He wasn't upset with Demyx for discarding his poppy pods but he desperately wished he still had them. The sandy blonde had made him promise to not smoke anymore, even though he couldn't understand why it was such a problem. He had a brief but horrific illness that had made forgetting the pods much easier a few days after he and Demyx confessed to each other, but after another week, the urge for dead sleep was almost too much even if the sickness was gone. His nerves were shot, he was irritable some days and on the verge of tears on others, he could feel the stress in his shoulders whenever he moved, and he couldn't sleep. It was a problem.

Relief came to him though. His ex-wife had gotten so frustrated with him and his seclusion that she stomped out of the house in a huff and said she wouldn't be back for several days. She was apparently going to stay with her aunt in Berlin and blamed it all on him. Why he needed to be blamed, he didn't know, but he also didn't care. She was gone, and it was going to be wonderful. He even went so far as to give the maids and the groundskeeper a few days off so he could be by himself. Alone.

He spent a day by himself, purposefully ignoring anything important he had to do and lounged about his home, soaking in the silence. He thought a lot. About Demyx, and the strange things his friend had said to him and what he couldn't possibly know about him. He also thought about how Demyx had said he didn't like him to be so secluded and it made him feel a bit guilty. It was already late by the time he decided he wanted the sandy blonde's company though, and he figured he could go out back to the servants quarters in the morning and goad his groundskeeper into giving him a ride to Demyx's.

Unbeknownst to Zexion though, Demyx was fully aware of his quasi vacation. He woke up extra early to feed and water his cattle in order to make it into the city by late morning to drop by for a surprise visit. With a small satchel of goods in hand, the Carrier made his way through the front gardens of Zexion's lavish home, nearly colliding with the homeowner himself as he was heading out. Zexion startled and blinked at him a few times, gaping.

"Dem! What're you doing here?" Zexion asked in his shock.

"Coming for a visit, of course! I wanted to ask you a few things. Is now an alright time?" Demyx asked innocently.

"Yes! Now's a perfect time, actually. I was just about to drop by and visit you, but you saved me the trip. Ilka went to see her aunt in Berlin and I gave the help a few days rest. Would…" Zexion trailed as he realized how suddenly suspicious he must have been coming off. It seemed a bit inappropriate to welcome one's love interest inside when the interest knew they would be alone and the feelings were blatant between them. Demyx giggled when he hesitated though.

"Yes, I would like to spend time with you," Demyx finished for him. Zexion's cheeks pinkened a bit and he cleared his throat. With everything going on in his life, the Charge hadn't spent very much time with his Carrier alone. A few chaste and timid kisses had been exchanged between them but hardly anything more than that. The fear of discovery coupled with the lack of know-how between them made things a bit awkward. But, as they headed towards the doors of Zexion's large and empty home, the Charge couldn't help but be a bit more curious. He wondered how much he could get away with for the sake of sating his curiosity.

After a few rousing games of Sechsundsechzig, and a couple beers in Zexion, things weren't progressing as well as he had hoped. Demyx seemed perfectly content simply being around him, which was partially true. The sandy blonde loved spending time with his Charge but he was also incredibly good at hiding his tension. The urge to leap over the tiny game table between them, and ravage the Charge senseless, was almost too much. So during the next hand of their game, Demyx kept his eyes glued to Zexion with the hopes that he would look up and notice.

Zexion glanced to Demyx, and then looked back to his cards. It took him a moment to realize the sandy blonde was staring at him and he took another glance. Then he looked to his cards again, furrowed his brows a bit, and then looked back to Demyx. They stared at each other for over a minute before the Carrier suddenly quirked a brow and casually tossed his hand of cards over his shoulder and then laced his finger together politely and settled them on the table's surface. Zexion cleared his throat a bit and set his hand down quietly and pushed himself out of his chair and stood. Then he did something that both surprised and delighted Demyx to no end.

Zexion casually smoothed a wrinkle out of his shirt, fiddled with his sleeve, cast one last glance at the sandy blonde, smiled politely, and then started running. It took a moment for Demyx to realize what was happening but as soon as he heard Zexion's shoes click against the staircase heading up into the rest of the house, he bolted out of his own chair, satchel in hand. Up the stairs, down the east wing, through a large set of wooden doors, and into his Charge's bedroom, he ran. Zexion was already there waiting for him and as soon as the door swung shut behind the Carrier, they were on each other.

Any form of apprehension Zexion had before that instant was abruptly obliterated as soon as Demyx's lips were on his. He had to remind himself who he was with for a brief second when Demyx's tongue touched his, but even then, there wasn't any legitimate fear. Their movements were feverish but awkward. Demyx's more so because of his complete lack of experience. He did manage to fling his satchel across the room and have it land clumsily on the bed though. Regardless, their heated tongue lashings and groping hands were set on their respective missions in a rather successful manner.

Undoing buttons and untying leather chords were frustrating tasks. More than once the fastenings were broken and rendered useless as the fervent kissing continued, Demyx slowly advancing on his Charge and urging Zexion to walk backwards towards the bed. Instead of letting Zexion flop back onto the mattress, Demyx leaned down enough to scoop the Charge up by the backs of his knees and prepared to deposit him down gently. Zexion startled once his feet left the ground and he clamped his arms around the Carrier's neck, sucking in a surprised breath.

"The idea was for you to go backwards, not cling to me," Demyx giggled and shifted his hands around so Zexion sat on them comfortably rather than using his torso for most of the support.

"You surprised me," Zexion defended flatly. "How is it you're lifting me so easily? I realize I'm not the bulkiest man around but you're not even straining."

"I do manual labor every day?" Demyx guessed. He gave his Charge a light toss to shift his weight around and caught him again easily. Zexion gave him a light glare.

"You do know that I'm a grown man and I don't need to be thrown around like an infant?"

"You throw infants around?" the sandy blonde asked with a light gasp. Zexion's eyes narrowed further and Demyx giggled at him. "Alright alright, here," the Carrier said and leaned over the bed and dropped him. The Charge flopped back with a grunt. "Better?"

"Yes," Zexion huffed. Demyx crawled in after him and gave him a grin before pressing forward for another kiss. The temporary frustration was forgotten immediately as the hands started wandering again, stripping the last of the clothing away and tossing it off the bed. They both took a minute to look each other over, but only Zexion's cheeks pinkened in his renewed anxiousness. Demyx was simply enjoying the view. Watching from afar had its benefits sometimes, but it couldn't hold a candle to being face to face.

"Something wrong?" the sandy blonde asked when he noticed how red his Charge's face had become. Zexion glanced to him for a half a second and shook his head quietly. Demyx squinted at him suspiciously before gently laying himself over the other, pressing most of their bodies together. Zexion's heart sped up and thundered against Demyx's chest. The Carrier furrowed his brows a bit and reached up to pet his Charge's hair gently. "We don't have to," he said. Zexion shook his head.

"I want to, it's just that my mind is getting in the way," he admitted. Demyx raised a quizzical brow.

"Did you want to give it more time?"

"No, I meant…I never really contemplated how this was supposed to happen. The more I think about it, the more daunting it is."

"…I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"I'm talking about the physics behind having intercourse with another man, Dem."

"…Oh!" Demyx twittered with a grin. He giggled a few times when Zexion's complexion suddenly rivaled that of a tomato's. "You think too much," he said.

"And sometimes I wonder if you think enough. Between the two of us, we might make up one normal mind," Zexion huffed.

"Possibly," Demyx said and laid a kiss on his lips. Zexion responded eagerly but the Carrier pulled away again with a smile. "I'll give you a hint though," he said and crawled up Zexion's body and straddled his stomach for a second before moving his hips backwards. The resulting movement wedged Zexion's member in between his cheeks. The Charge's face ignited again.

"I had a feeling but I didn't want to sound strange…" he admitted sheepishly. Demyx grinned.

"I knew you couldn't be _that_ naïve."

"Yes well…" Zexion trailed and cleared his throat.

"Apprehensive?"

"Very."

"For you or for me? We haven't exactly discussed who would be on the receiving end."

"Why do I feel like we're doing this wrong? I feel like I should be signing paperwork," the Charge snorted. Demyx giggled.

"Well, I know how you are Zex. You need to know all the facts otherwise you won't progress very well. It'll get better."

"So you say."

"That I do," the Carrier said and leaned down to steal another light kiss. "It's okay though," he said and shuffled off of his Charge. He scooted his way across the bed to where his satchel landed and picked it up and rifled through its contents for a small jar. Zexion rolled over onto his stomach and caught up with him. Demyx handed him the jar and he squinted at it.

"Hand cream?" Zexion questioned and raised a brow. Demyx nodded before tossing the satchel aside again. He scooted backwards so his back met with the large grouping of pillows at the head of the bed and leaned against them. He opened his arms for his Charge and made small nonsensical grabbing motions in the air with his hands, beckoning him closer. Zexion blushed a bit again before scooting over to him, jar in hand. Demyx took the jar again and set it aside close by before pulling Zexion over him, settling the Charge between his legs with his own spread open for him. Zexion seemed a bit confused and Demyx smiled up at him and ran his fingers through his hair a few times reassuringly.

"I want you to take me," Demyx said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Zexion blinked a few times as he thought about it. It would be a new experience to say the least, but it wasn't like it was his first time at being in control. It was however, the first time he actually cared about the person he was with. Suddenly the urge to satisfy his lustful needs was completely secondary and the worry of possibly hurting the sandy blonde in the process of their romp was overwhelming. Demyx pushed himself up to squelch those feelings down a bit with another kiss though, which helped.

"You're sure?" Zexion questioned. Demyx nodded and smiled.

"I want you to trust me. Completely. The things I may ask of you in the future will be based on how much trust we have between us. Now isn't really the time to delve into details, but by giving myself to you I hope that we'll be able move forward and break down all the unknowns that I've been dying to share with you. You have to trust me when I say that the last thing I want to come between us is fear and I feel this is a good first step. Whether or not I'm thinking too much into this is irrelevant but once we go this far, I want you to know that you're _mine_."

"…But Dem you know that's not possible," Zexion said sadly. "As much as I want it to be true, it's just not the way things work."

"That's where the trust comes in, Zex. We've known each other for a long time now and I know that you trust me enough to call me a companion and to love me even if the rest of your environment doesn't allow you to. But do you trust me enough after I tell you that you only know half of me? Are you going to disregard the years we've spent together just enough to use me for whatever desires you have?"

"Wh…Why are you saying all of this _now_?" Zexion asked and sat back on the bed. Demyx pushed himself up to sit with him. "Dem, we're sitting nude on my bed together in the dissipating throws of lust, why is this all coming to light right this instant?"

"Because this means a lot to me. I don't know if you can ever understand the gravity of it all, honestly. I want to know that I have your trust even before you know _everything_ about me. Does it scare you that I can say with the utmost honesty that the things I know and the things I've kept from you are life changing?"

"Change whose life, yours or mine?"

"Both of ours. If you choose to accept and trust me. Completely."

"How can I accept things when I don't know the whole story?"

"The fact that you can or can't is what's going to determine whether or not we can continue. Like I said, I know how you work Zex. You need to know all the facts involved before you can comfortably move forward. But, can you continue forward against your nature in order to make me yours? Do you love me that much? I can't let you have me until you can tell me you do."

"…You're saying all of this so casually. I trust you enough to love you and take your word for it but I'm fearful to say so and make a commitment when I can't very well keep it. My father is searching for another wife for me as I spe—"

"Ignore your father and his wishes for three minutes," Demyx interjected. "This is about you and me. Outside influences have no say in what we do right this moment."

"But they do! They influence everything," Zexion insisted.

"Then you don't trust me completely. I ask you to ignore the others for three minutes and you can't do that for me?" Demyx asked. Zexion let out and exasperated sigh and ran a hand over his face, setting the jar down on the blankets again.

"This isn't what I intended us to be doing."

"So you _were_ just bringing me up here to use me. I must admit I'm a bit surprised," the Carrier said and chewed on the inside of his lip. His attempts to force Zexion to think for himself outside of what his penis wanted were failing miserably. He was beginning to think he had been seeing Zexion in a way that wasn't the actual way he was. His Charge was visibly upset by his accusation though.

"No! That wasn't my intention! I just…" Zexion trailed and grabbed a fistful of his hair as his mind flew a mile a minute, attempting to put his thoughts together enough to give Demyx an honest answer. "I _want_ to Dem. I want to love you completely like you want me to, and to trust you, and to be with you. I don't think I'll ever have the words to describe how much I want that but I _can't_ have you in the end. I told you this was temporary as much as I wish it wasn't. I never intended on making it seem I've only wanted to use you but…in a way that's what it is, I suppose. I've wanted this for so long now; all I can think about is making the most of it for however long we have together. It's really the first time I've _ever_ been able to obtain something that I've ever truly wanted and I suppose a selfish part of me was only thinking about that instead of how you were involved. I…I apologize."

"Don't. You didn't do anything wrong aside from letting other people's opinions and plans impose upon you. I'm giving you an option to trust and to love me, because in the end, that's what really matters in one's life. Far too long have you lived by other people's rules, basing your decisions on what other people may think of you or how it would interfere with the grand scheme they have for you. You need to think for yourself for a few minutes and ignore everything else. Do you, or do you not trust me completely?"

"…Yes," Zexion said with only a few moments hesitation. Demyx smiled as happiness bubbled in his chest. He knew it was a shaky 'yes' because Zexion had absolutely no clue what was in store for him, but it was a 'yes' that Zexion came to on his own accord. The Carrier scooted closer to him and cupped his cheek, pulling him in for a tender kiss.

"Do you love me?" Demyx asked.

"Yes," Zexion said, the hesitation nonexistent. Demyx grinned.

"Do you want to change your life so you can live for yourself and be with me?"

"Yes." Another kiss.

"Do you trust that I can do that for you?"

"You can?" Zexion questioned with a raised brow. Demyx nodded.

"I can. Do you trust me enough to believe me?" he asked. Zexion looked thoughtful for a few minutes as he contemplated the possibilities.

"…Yes," he said finally.

"You hesitated."

"Because I'm not entirely sure how you would change everything so drastically but I don't believe you would lie to me about something so serious."

"I can believe that," Demyx said and pressed forward for another kiss. "I'm glad we got that cleared up. I feel much better."

"I'm glad you do. I'm still quite confused about some things."

"That's fine. So long as you know what you want, and you trust me. Everything else will come."

"I have your word on that? Will things change?" Zexion asked. Demyx grinned and ran his fingers over his Charge's face and through his hair.

"It will change, yes. Whether or not it's a good change is based on how accepting you are of new things. So long as you trust me and you really, truly, love me, everything should be fine. I have confidence in that."

"Alright. I'll trust you," Zexion said, watching the Carrier's face closely. Nothing suspicious passed through the sandy blonde's eyes and Zexion felt the knot in his gut loosen considerably. The warmth and the sense of peace that played on Demyx's features was refreshing and Zexion smiled at him before meeting him again with a series of light kisses before deepening for more. The heat rose between them quickly and the awkwardness and the anxious apprehension dissipated quickly. Soon, Demyx had pulled Zexion back to their original positioning against the pillows with the Carrier underneath the Charge. They broke for air and the sandy blonde groped around for the jar of hand cream before holding it in front of Zexion and wiggling it at him.

"Make love to me, Zexion. Just be gentle with me. I bruise easily," Demyx said and smiled.

* * *

Cloud idly rubbed his eye before continuing to flick through his tablet. The same old routine was playing out again, just as they did every week. Or, at least the same old routine they _attempted_ to do every week. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't but they made the effort to get Leon's Primal checkups done, just like they were supposed to, none the less. Besides, the Carrier hadn't changed peacefully in over a month and they really needed to catch up. So there they sat on a large rock in the obstacle course together after Xigbar and Mary had left, the Charge going through his list of things to do while the enormous beast of a Carrier lay quietly, waiting for him.

Leon didn't usually do a whole lot while in his Primal form, much like he did the rest of the time. If he and Cloud weren't working and the kids weren't around to occupy them, he preferred to lie wherever and soak up the sun. Today though, he was having a problem that shattered his peaceful relaxation and forced him to move around. At first, he tried to ignore it. Then he tried to move his tail around and be discreet. He shuffled a foot, moved his leg, and grunted, but none of it helped. He refused to lick himself though and sighed his annoyance into Cloud's earpiece before hefting himself up onto his feet.

Cloud raised a brow but finished reading his sentence before looking to the lion. Leon shuffled himself around before sitting on the rock and gently grinding his hips into it a few times. The Charge's jaw dropped at the strange maneuver and he gaped at Leon in disgust. The lion ignored the blonde's reaction, his problem solved, and resettled himself on the rock's surface as if nothing happened.

"What the fuck was that? Did you just hump the rock?" Cloud sputtered.

" _Remind me to ask you to itch my testicles for me next time, if you have a problem with it,_ " came Leon's flat reply. He lifted a leg to expose himself to illustrate his point. " _Go on then. Some of it's still lingering_."

"Ugh! I only touch those when I have to. Why in the hell did you do it that way anyway? You have feet and they can reach."

" _Some of us don't have fingers at the moment otherwise I would have. Are you jealous of the relationship this rock and I share? Is that what you're hinting at?_ "

"Don't start," Cloud said and gave the Carrier a glare.

" _But I've obviously neglected you somehow, otherwise you wouldn't be so upset_ ," Leon cooed.

"Stop," the blonde sighed and rubbed his brows. Leon let out a low chuckle before pulling his hulking frame up again and crossing the few feet between them. Cloud gave him an empty glare directly into his eyes when their faces were pushed close together. They stared at one another for a few moments before Leon's tongue suddenly dropped out of his mouth and coated Cloud's face in a thick film of saliva. The blonde let out a disgusted cry and tossed his tablet aside to pull his shirt up and wipe his face off. Leon laughed into the earpiece and didn't give his Charge much time to recuperate before using a huge front paw to pull Cloud's legs around and underneath him. Cloud, in response, tried to pull himself away before the lion lay himself partially on top of him, trapping him in his place. The blonde attempted to push out from under the cat by way of shoving at his face, but it was of little use. He let out an angry sigh and lay still.

" _You break my heart, trying to run away like that. All I'm trying to do is love you a little bit. Why must you wound me so?_ " Leon asked as he used the front leg that wasn't trapping his Charge to wedge his paw under the blonde's shirt. Cloud was lying on his side with his back presented to the animal, with most of his legs wedged under Leon's body. Once he felt the foot press into his back, he tried to struggle away again.

"I don't want your love. I hate it when you do this!" he barked and tried to reach up to the edge of the rock to use it to pull himself. The surface was extremely wide though and his fingertips barely made it over the edge. Leon exposed a small expanse of skin before pressing his icy wet nose into Cloud's back. The blonde let out a growl followed by a strong twitch at the sensation. "Stop it!"

" _Do I disgust you that much?_ " Leon asked and licked a trail over the blonde's skin.

"Yes! Let me go!" Cloud sneered and tried to pull his legs out from under their furry prison but was met with little success.

" _Ouch, Cloud,_ " the Carrier said flatly. His joking spirit drained away as he concentrated on changing back. Cloud lay still when he felt Leon's body shift around behind him. His legs were freed but he didn't try to get away anymore. He pushed himself up when Leon's fingers expanded again and the Carrier sat upright. Leon let out a dejected sigh and looked at his Charge.

"Oh come on. You can't honestly expect me to believe I hurt your feelings. You know how I hate it when you assault me like that," Cloud grumbled, sending the other a glare. Leon shrugged and looked off to the side. The blonde pushed his brows together and scooted a bit closer. "You're serious?" he asked. Again, Leon shrugged. Cloud let out an exasperated sigh and sent the Carrier apologetic eyes. Leon looked to him, took in the expression and leaned towards him a bit and tapped his cheek. Cloud planted a kiss on him but before he could pull away again, Leon abruptly grabbed his face and licked him from chin to forehead. Cloud let out another cry and shoved the Carrier away.

"Which is worse?" Leon questioned. The murderous expression in Cloud's eyes made him grin openly before he started to laugh. The Carrier quickly scooted away across the rock and dropped onto the ground to find his shorts.

"Fucking bastard," the blonde growled.

* * *

"…So then I said to him, 'Lars, you really need to get out more if you think putting a gauge into your nostril is a good idea,'" Ventus said and waved a dismissive hand. "But, he didn't listen to me and I came back next week to get my other nipple done and he had this huge hole in the side of his nose."

"Ugh, really?" Axel asked, disgusted. Ventus nodded with a light shrug.

"He wouldn't have been a bad looking guy had he stopped at one or two piercings in his face but he was obsessed. Covered in holes and scars from where some got infected and healed and stuff," the older blonde continued.

Roxas had mixed feelings about the exchange Ventus and Axel were having. It was just a conversation, and Ventus was cooperating with whatever Roxas needed to do, but the casual air between them was a bit unsettling. The younger blonde could remember how difficult it was to get along with Axel when they first met but here the redhead was with Ventus, chatting away like they were old friends. The fact that Ventus was sitting on the exam table in his underwear didn't seem to be a deterrent either, which was also unsettling. They were talking about the older blonde's piercings, obviously, and Roxas could only imagine the discussion they would come up with when Ventus' underwear came off. He wasn't looking forward to it.

He had successfully gone about the basic preliminary procedures on Ventus. Blood pressure, checking his eyes, ears, and throat, he did a dental exam, and tested the older blonde's reflexes amongst other things. Everything indicated that Ventus was healthy outside of his obvious virus problems. He took very good care of himself and aside from the various forms of body modification he had done, nothing was strange or out of place. So far so good, Roxas thought, but there was still at least half of the list to do. They had been going at it for over an hour and the younger blonde could only hope that the last half of it could go even quicker than that.

"Alright," Roxas interrupted. The conversation ceased and the redhead and the older blonde looked to him expectantly. The younger blonde took up his tablet and made his last few notes. "Time to get on with the unpleasant things," he sighed. He set the tablet aside and pushed the off-white metal cart aside towards the storage area.

"Unpleasant?" Ventus questioned, watching Roxas move to the pile of supplies he had gathered. The younger blonde started to pull on a pair of gloves.

"Yes, unpleasant. Drop the boxers and sit down again so we can get this over quickly," the Charge grumped.

"Would you get angry at me if I waited until just the right moment and farted on you?" Ventus asked with a lopsided grin. Axel snorted and started to laugh. Roxas sent the other blonde a glare.

"Yes, I would," he said flatly.

"Oh lighten up. I'm attempting to keep this civil, Roxas. I'm not getting much out of it either. The least we could do is make the atmosphere a little lighter for both our sakes," Ventus said as he pushed himself off the exam table. Axel leaned to the side and took up a blanket Roxas had gathered up before and handed it off to him. Ventus smiled and wrapped the cloth around himself and pushed his boxers down and wiggled out of them before kicking them towards the pile of clothing already mounded on the floor across from them. He pushed himself up onto the exam table again and swung his feet a bit, waiting patiently.

"I still want to know if you jingle when you pee," Axel said. Ventus laughed.

"Would you believe me if I said I've tried to listen? I'm actually a little curious myself," he said. Roxas let out a tired sigh and went to the exam table again.

"Lie back," he ordered and Ventus did as he was told. He sprawled out over the tabletop on his back with his arms folded behind his head. It was a bit cold but he didn't mind. Roxas took a deep breath to calm his annoyance some as he pulled the swatch of cloth away from Ventus's pelvis. The older blonde was unfazed but one look at the glittering pieces of metal that had been impaled through his genitals and Roxas was just about finished and ready to leave.

"Huh," Axel huffed with his brows pushed together curiously as he took in the jewelry.

"You can stop staring," Roxas growled at the redhead. The Carrier shrugged.

"I feel like I'm about to star in a really bad porno. 'The Twin that Diddled My Meat: the mini series,'" Ventus said. Axel laughed. Roxas was not amused.

"Didn't those hurt?" the younger blonde asked, taking in the two Dydoe piercings and the Prince Albert. They made his skin crawl the longer he looked at them but he couldn't stop his curiosity. Ventus shrugged.

"I'm okay with pain," he said simply. Roxas shuddered visibly. "Hey, don't knock it until you try it. You don't understand how amazing those things feel during sex. Makes my toes curl."

"…That's enough. I don't need to know this," the Charge said flatly. He reached over Ventus' legs and took up his tablet and stylus again to make a few notes about the general appearance, much to his chagrin. He could understand the importance of observation though. Had Ventus had some awful discoloration somewhere on his member it would've been a problem. The three small metal hoops that adorned his scrotum in a neat vertical line were also a distraction though they didn't seem to be nearly as painful as the ones in Ventus' head. The older blonde wiggled his toes as he waited, watching Axel's overly curious face out of the corner of his periphery. Roxas finished his note taking and didn't bother to set the tablet aside again before reaching out abruptly and squashing Ventus' scrotum between his fingers, feeling for any lumps or things out of place.

"Whoa! Warn me next time," the older blonde said with a light glare when the younger blonde nearly scared him out of his skin.

"With any luck there won't be a next time," Roxas said flatly and made a few notes about how everything was fine. Ventus huffed and reached down to readjust himself a bit. Axel's thoughtful expression didn't falter as he strolled away towards the storage closet in the back of the lab. He began rifling through things, but Roxas didn't pay him much attention. Ventus noticed though, but didn't ask. "Off the table, bend over," he ordered.

"You're so loving, you know that? You make me just _melt_ with that sultry tone of yours," Ventus teased and he pushed himself up.

"Shut up," Roxas said gruffly as he went back to the pile of supplies for the tube of gel.

"Calm down, good god. You're making me feel like I'm some sort of alien," Ventus sighed and shuffled off the table, bringing the blanket with him. He bent over and balanced his elbows on the tabletop after draping the cloth over his back end and letting it trail on the floor. Roxas came back to him and set the tablet aside and began pulling the excess fabric upwards and piling it all over Ventus' back.

"You _are_ an alien. I don't know what sort of normal human willingly skewers their genitals," Roxas said as he uncapped the gel and squeezed a dollop onto his fingers. Ventus looked over his shoulder to the younger blonde with a shrug.

"I don't know what to say to that, really. You can have your opinion. You don't have to like it. I urge you to try it though before you knock it, just so you can deny it with a more informed attitude," he said. Roxas pushed his brows together and took a quick look at Ventus' back end just so he could say that he did and could make an honest note of its outward health. Before he could think too much on it though, he quickly squished the gel around on his fingers and dove in. Ventus let out a yelp at the sudden intrusion and his legs shook. Axel stuck his head out of the storage area with a raised brow.

"What the hell was that?" the redhead asked. Ventus sent Roxas a venomous glare over his shoulder.

"That was asshole shoving two fingers in me without any warning," he said to Axel. "That fucking _hurt_ , jackass," he spat to Roxas.

"Didn't think you'd be that tight. Besides, I thought you liked pain," the younger blonde said nonchalantly and probed around. He found Ventus' prostate quickly, having a relatively alright idea where it was supposed to be by this point, and stabbed at it. Ventus bit his lip and let out a few grunts at the stimulation, clenching his hands into fists angrily and glaring down at the table top. Once he was satisfied with the results, Roxas withdrew and started to walk away from him casually, pulling off his gloves as he went. He tossed them in the nearest garbage can and took up a towel and threw it to Ventus.

"What the fuck is with all the hostility?" the older blonde asked angrily as he wiped himself clean. Axel was attempting to read Roxas' empty expression and even less expressive body language.

"Forget about it," Roxas deflected. Ventus threw the towel into the garbage can as well before stomping over to his clothing and beginning to pull them on. "What are you doing? We're not finished," Roxas said.

"Fuck you, yes we are. I may have not had the cleanest history in the world but I've never felt _violated_ before. When you want to be a bit more professional about this, then come and find me. Otherwise, I'm done for now," Ventus spat angrily as he buttoned his pants. He picked up his shoes and his shirt and stomped out of the lab quickly without bothering to put them on. Roxas watched the doors swing closed behind him. Axel came out of the storage closet.

"What the hell was that about?" Roxas asked, looking to the redhead.

"You hurt him. I'd be upset too. I understand you don't like him very much, Roxas but I can't help but side with him on this one. You're being an ass. Again," the Carrier said. Roxas glared at him. "Don't look at me like you don't think it's true. You _know_ you're being judgmental."

"I know I am."

"Why? He hasn't done anything."

"That's the problem."

"…I don't follow," Axel said, pushing his brows together confusedly. Roxas sighed and ground his teeth together.

"I don't like that you guys get along so well. He's absolutely disgusting, and yet when you guys have such casual conversations it's like it doesn't matter. It reminds me of how hard it was for you and I in the beginning and…then I end up thinking about what the computer said and how he's way more compatible with you than I am and it gets me upset," the blonde sighed. "He hasn't worked or put in any effort to get along with you, and that's why it bothers me. It's not fair."

"I won't talk to him then," the redhead offered. Roxas heaved another sigh before running a hand over his face.

"That's not the solution…I just…I don't know what to do. I think I just need to be by myself for a bit. I'm sorry," the blonde said as his posture sagged. He turned to leave quickly, before Axel could say anything and the Carrier was left to himself.

The redhead watched the doors for a minute before he let out a tired sigh and started to clean up.


	71. Chapter 71

**Chapter 71**

The following weeks' periods of personal time were spent at Demyx's tiny home outside of the city. Once Ilka had returned from her visit with her aunt (early, though thankfully neither male was home at the time) the dangers of discovery were increased tenfold. With the divorce in its final stages of closure, the hawkeyed wretch of a woman was looking for any excuse to ruin Zexion. A homosexual relationship was just the fodder she needed, but thankfully, the pair was smart enough to keep things discreet. Though it was painful, they purposefully didn't see each other any more than what they usually did. Their visits were usually only once, maybe twice a week and tended to last most if not the entire day. It was enough for now, but Demyx was getting anxious.

The sandy blonde Carrier was fully aware of the era he was in. He knew the quickly approaching history he would encounter if he and Zexion lingered in that plane much longer and it scared him. The Charge's downfall wasn't predicated to happen until his early thirties, but World War I wasn't going to wait for him. No, if Demyx didn't get Zexion and himself out of there soon, things were going to get a bit strenuous. He wasn't about to let a little thing like war to come between him and his project, let alone his love life. He just hoped Zexion was prepared for everything.

He hinted. And hinted. And hinted. And hinted, over and over again to his Charge that things were going to get strange, and quickly. He often talked about cheetahs and urged Zexion to look over the various research materials that were provided in that era of the African plains and their inhabitants. His Charge obliged him, though with much confusion. Demyx insisted it was an obsession of his, just like one of his many odd quirks, but Zexion was a little more suspicious of the urgency than anything else. He didn't have any idea what was about to befall his country and the world around him.

Eventually, the time came for Demyx to introduce his Charge to the marvels of the Catalogue, something he had been dreading for years. It would blow a hole into Zexion's understanding of the world he lived in and quite possibly put him into shock. Whether it was the amount of technology that would do it, or the understanding that he was sleeping with something that wasn't exactly human, Demyx couldn't guess. None the less, the war was set to start in less than a year and they needed to get moving.

"You promise to stay by my side?" Demyx asked earnestly, holding Zexion's hand in his own and giving him serious eyes. The Charge raised a brow to him.

"Whatever it is you're going to show me can't possibly make me think less of you. I've been dying to know what is down in your cellar for years and I'm not going to settle for anything short of spectacular," Zexion insisted. Demyx pushed his brows together worriedly and took a deep breath, his free hand on the doorknob.

"Don't let go of my hand," he said. Zexion gave it a reassuring squeeze and Demyx took another breath before pushing the door open gently. He led his Charge by the hand down a few creaky steps before reaching behind him and closing the door again. Zexion kept his eyes on the fast approaching space at the bottom of the staircase and the blueish glow that covered it. Things were completely silent save for their footfalls as they descended down together, and it was reassuring to him. At the very least he could safely say Demyx wasn't hiding strange demons and animals in his basement.

Zexion pushed his brows together when they stepped off the stairs together and he was presented with a wide open space harboring a tall boxy glowing…thing. He wasn't afraid of it, but more intrigued. Demyx watched his face carefully and chewed on his lip nervously, giving his Charge a minute to soak it all in. Off to the side, a few feet away from the glowing thing was a large rock looking formation that sat in what looked to be a steel ring. It wasn't lit up or anything strange and though he noticed it, Zexion was far more interested in the glowing thing attached to the wall.

"Huh…" he said after several minutes of staring at it. "I'm not really sure what I'm seeing though it is rather pretty to look at," he said with a shrug. He looked to Demyx, who was still gnawing away at his lip.

"You're alright so far?" the Carrier asked.

"It's not going to kill me is it?" Zexion asked. Demyx shook his head. "Then I'm alright."

"Simple logic. That's a good plan," Demyx agreed and pulled his Charge along towards the Catalogue terminal. He sat in his chair and scooted it across the floor towards the keyboard and patted his leg. Zexion helped himself to the seat and Demyx wrapped his arm around his waist possessively and leaned against him. The Charge squinted at the nonsensical symbols in front of him on the screen.

"I do hope you're going to explain this to me," he asked. Demyx nodded.

"Enough of it anyway. The basic things. From where I come from, this is a very basic piece of equipment. It's called a 'terminal' but the system we use on it is the 'Catalogue' so what we really call it is a 'Catalogue terminal,'" Demyx said and reached up with his free hand to pull the Link chord out from behind the monitor. He handed it to Zexion who looked it over carefully, attempting to understand what it was. "The things I've kept from telling you may change your opinion of me once you know them. I want you to remember that my words and my thoughts and my love for you don't change regardless of how you think of me."

"…Alright," Zexion said hesitantly, holding the Link chord by the plug. Demyx took his hand and pulled it towards his face. He shoved Zexion's fingers in his mouth along with his own until he could wiggle the chord around enough to plug into his Link. Upon feeling the soft ' _click_ ' the connection made, Zexion jerked his hand away with wide eyes. Demyx let the chord trail out of his mouth as his free hand set to work on the Catalogue terminal's flat panel keyboard. The keys lit up under his fingers and Zexion's attention was brought to it immediately. His mind was quickly beginning to become jumbled as he attempted to understand what was happening.

"Just ignore me for a minute," Demyx said as he typed away.

"Wait. Wait, what are you doing? Explain," Zexion asked.

"I will when you can understand more. I just need to get the basic idea across and then we can go into detail if you want anything more to do with me after this," the Carrier said with a hint of sadness in his voice. He brought up the application that changed is hair color. "Please don't fear me," he said, looking up at his Charge who pulled his attention away from the keyboard just as Demyx spun the dial at random and picked a green color to flick his hair to. Zexion startled and gaped at him, attempting to pull away immediately. Demyx's arm around his waist kept him in place and the Carrier's expression fell with his resistance. He quickly hugged Zexion around the midsection and pressed his unnatural hair into his sternum.

"Wh-what?" Zexion sputtered and tried to pull away from him. Demyx hugged him close as his heart felt like it was being ripped out from his chest.

"Zex, please don't run away from me," he said, his throat suddenly dry. He kept his eyes down and away from the Charge's face. Zexion struggled against his arms and after a few moments Demyx let him go, the tears stinging his eyes. The Charge backed away with wide and frightened eyes. His back met with a cabinet he hadn't realized was there before and he leaned against it, staring at the Carrier. It took him a minute to realize that Demyx was beginning to cry. Zexion swallowed thickly, his mind unable to comprehend what was happening outside of the fact that his lover was in pain. As far as he was concerned though, at that moment, that's all that mattered. Even if Demyx was doing odd things.

"Wait…Dem, don't do that," Zexion said and quickly forced himself back to the Carrier. He kneeled in front of him on the cellar floor and looked into Demyx's face. The not-sandy blonde's eyes dripped his fear down his cheeks as he looked into his Charge's face. Zexion reached up and wiped Demyx's face for him. "Please don't cry."

"You're not afraid of me?" the Carrier questioned, sniffling as he did so.

"I am, but that doesn't mean I want to hurt you either. Just…calm down enough to explain and I'll try my best to listen," Zexion said shakily. His fingers were beginning to tremble a bit the longer he was left in the dark and Demyx nodded his comprehension. He took his Charge's hand in his and stroked the backs of his fingers with his thumbs. He pulled the digits up to his face to lay a kiss on them before he eased out of his chair and kneeled with Zexion on the floor. He abruptly hugged his Charge to his chest.

"I knew I made the right choice," he giggled lightly into the steely hairs as another few more tears sneaked out of his eyes. He sniffled and released Zexion and held his shoulders at arms length. He smiled through his quivering chin. "I'll start from the beginning."

* * *

Ventus didn't spend very much time in Axel and Roxas' lab for the next two weeks. He whittled his time away with textbooks and the Catalogue terminal whenever he could. The only time he could use the computer was when Sora was around because the brunette would let him use his watch to gain access, but it was entertaining enough when it was available. It wasn't all that difficult to figure out once he got the hang of it; it was a bit more difficult then his Home terminal, but he meandered his way around it just as well. He didn't know what most of the applications did just yet, but he could understand how to get to them easy enough, which was progress.

Roxas didn't try to talk to him or apologize for his immaturity. Ventus wasn't particularly upset anymore and he wasn't really hurt all that bad in the first place. Sure, it was an uncomfortable situation, but he knew it was purposeful on Roxas' part and he knew the initial intent so he reacted as such. Ventus knew Roxas was power tripping during the entire physical, using the process to demean the older blonde whenever possible and Ventus had had enough by that point. The teasing and the judgment he could handle, but Ventus didn't like being hurt without permission, as slight as it may have been. He didn't care if Roxas never talked to him again, but he was a little upset that Axel didn't put his foot down and say something to the younger blonde. Ventus thought he and Axel were friends to some degree, but, apparently he thought too soon.

"Axel," Ventus said after his sixteenth day of semi-solitary confinement. He had ventured down to the lab to approach the redhead, and was delighted to see his blonde lookalike wasn't anywhere in immediate eyesight. Axel turned from the Extractor to look at him.

"Yeah? Need something?" the Carrier asked.

"I just wanted to talk, can we go somewhere?" Ventus asked. Axel looked a bit unsure as he thought about it for a moment. He nodded though and the older blonde felt a breath of relief escape him. They left the lab together and headed out towards the front of the facility, where the least amount of traffic would be. They sat together in the grass with their backs against the building.

"What's up?" Axel asked, looking the blonde over. Ventus was obviously not very happy, and the redhead wasn't naïve enough to not understand why but he didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"Does Roxas really want me here? Or it this all your doing?" Ventus finally asked.

"He does, but he still doesn't know how to handle change. We finally settled into some semblance of normalcy right before we were attacked at the movies and I don't think it helped. Our recent past hasn't exactly been the most stable. He told me once that he didn't know how much more he could handle, and I don't know how small of an instance could tip him over the edge, you know? I'm trying to tread lightly around the entire thing."

"Right, well I don't get the impression that either of you give a damn about what he did to me. I understand he's a closed minded jerk and that he doesn't like me but that doesn't give him the right to treat me like garbage. I'm trying my hardest to keep the focus on the work and studying but I want to come out of my room eventually. I appreciate what you guys are offering me and trying to do for me, but I didn't think it would be this hard to accept it."

"I'd apologize for him but I don't think that's what you want to hear," Axel said.

"Not from you anyway."

"Well if it's any consolation, I give a damn about what he did. I'm just trying to keep my distance enough to appease him and get on the right track again. Personally, I just think the both of you need to get shitfaced together and get laid and a lot of this would clear up," the redhead said with complete seriousness. Ventus laughed.

"You mean you guys haven't been going at it?" he asked.

"Hell no! I hate it when he's like this. That, and we're both being overly cautious with my…hole in the gut. I don't like calling it an 'injury' or a 'wound' it sounds so wimpy when I say that. I've only been able to eat solid food for three days now so he'll try to attack me soon probably, but before now? Nothing."

"Aw, I'm sorry. I would offer to sleep with him for you but then I'd probably get him sick and then it'd transfer to you and I'd feel bad. That, and I might come out of it missing one of my balls," Ventus said with an amused chuckle. No _wonder_ Roxas was being an extra tightwad lately.

"Yes well, I'm not so willing to share just yet," Axel chuckled.

"Yet?"

"Eh…maybe eventually."

"…You're serious?"

"Possibly. Though it would be a little awkward later in life when your Carrier matures. 'Yeah, your father and I slept with your Charge before you got here. Hope that's okay,'" Axel said. Ventus stared at him with a raised brow.

"Well! That's not what I was expecting to hear when I came out here," he laughed. Axel shrugged.

"Call me a dirty old man if you must but I can't deny that you two look nearly identical from behind and well… that's just fantastic," he said. Ventus snorted a bit before laughing again and giving the redhead a playful shove.

"Oh my god! That's amazing!"

"I'm not giving you an open invitation or anything. Like I said, I'm not willing to share right this second but I'm not going to lie and say I haven't considered it. Roxas would be really pissed at me if he knew though. He wouldn't understand the novelty behind it."

"I could only imagine the appeal. 'Roxas sandwich,' indeed."

"I blame Demyx for the idea, personally. Had he not said anything, I probably wouldn't have considered it," Axel sighed.

"He's a bad influence, is he?"

"Sometimes, yes. He's really dependable when you need him to be but if he's left to his own devices for very long, he tends to get bored and gets himself into trouble somehow."

"Or gets _you_ in trouble as the case may have it," Ventus amended for him. Axel nodded.

"That too," he said. A moment of silence passed between them. "Don't say anything to Roxas, alright?"

"No, no, of course not," Ventus said and waved a dismissive hand.

* * *

"How're you feeling?" Roxas asked later that evening when Axel emerged from his shower. The blonde was finishing up a report he had been making for Ansem on his tablet and hardly bothered to glance over the top of the device to the redhead. The Carrier shrugged his indifference.

"Alright, I suppose," he said and tossed his towel aside to deposit himself in the bed.

"That doesn't sound very promising, what's wrong?" Roxas asked and set the tablet aside and turned off the light next to their bed. Axel was lying with his back to the blonde and Roxas pushed his brows together. He scooted across the mattress and ran his hands over the redhead's back a bit before moving lower to feel the little dent that made his scaring bullet wound. "Does it hurt?" he asked.

"No," Axel said simply.

"Well then what's wrong?" Roxas persisted.

"I'm a little upset with you," the redhead admitted and rolled onto his stomach. The blonde raised a brow at him. Axel looked to him as he pulled a pillow under his chin and folded his arms under it.

"What did I do?" Roxas asked, pushing himself up to support himself on an elbow.

"You need to apologize to Ventus," the redhead chided. Immediately Roxas let out an exasperated sigh, rolled his eyes and rolled himself backwards to lie against the pillows with a huff.

"I didn't do anything wrong," he said.

"You hurt him. That's wrong."

"I _highly_ doubt I hurt him as much as he made it seem like. The guy was a prostitute for how many years? A damn prostate exam isn't enough to warrant all the drama."

"It doesn't matter. You're being a prick."

"And he's disgusting. So it balances out."

"Stop it, Roxas. Now you're acting like an _immature_ prick."

"I told you why I'm upset, and you told me you understood. Taking his side with things isn't helping my attitude any. I can't help that I get pissed off when you act all buddy-buddy with him after everything he's put us through. And sometimes if I think about it enough I wonder if that was your original purpose for bringing him here, like I said before we picked him up at the hospital."

"You're still thinking I want him for something more?" Axel asked, pushing himself up onto his elbows and giving the blonde a glare.

"It's the only explanation I have that makes the most sense. Why else would you completely disregard _my_ feelings and take his side?"

"Because…" Axel sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Because I just want some damn peace. Ventus isn't going out of his way to do anything wrong to us and he's putting a lot of effort in to learn what he needs to in order be a successful Charge for _our_ project. Ours. Not just mine, but ours. He's helping _us_. I thought we had an understanding on this. You've done nothing but hinder him since he got here."

"Hinder him?" Roxas barked and sat up abruptly. "I've done the work to get him in here in the first place. I've followed Ansem's orders and was attempting to do what I had to in order to keep everything on track. I'm doing this shit because it'll help us, because I know how much _you_ want to get this project off the ground. I understand you've had to wait a long time to get even this far, Axel, but I'm not in any huge rush and I haven't been since I've got here! You obviously didn't even think about _me_ when you came up with the idea to bring him here, what did you expect me to do? Skip around and throw confetti?

I was perfectly happy letting him live in his shitty apartment way on the other side of the dome away from us and our business. I could deal with him being a part of the project that far away. All he had to do was stay alive and wait for us. But _no_. Because of his disgusting lifestyle he had to impose on us and you _let_ him. I was okay with dropping him if he couldn't keep it together long enough to get him here legitimately like… a year from now or something. But I couldn't, because you decided that it would be a _fantastic_ idea to have him live here _now_. In the middle of all the bullshit we've been going though, _now_ is the time to let some nasty stranger into our lives? Why the hell _should_ I be nice to him? All he's succeeded in doing since he got here is making you feel guilty and turning you against me!"

"I'm not against anyone! I'm just trying to get you to be a bit more peaceful with him, regardless of how you feel about him or whatever you think he's doing. It's called being _civil_ , Roxas! There's a certain level of maturity I thought you acquired once we got comfortable with each other but apparently I was wrong. Had I known you were going to revert to your old ways with this, I would've never said anything! Forgive me for trying to think more of you. I regret it," Axel said, sending his Charge a glare.

"You do, do you?" Roxas asked, his voice losing its angry tone as it turned inward, more hurtful. The redhead pushed his brows together, slowly registering what he had insinuated.

"Wait…" Axel trailed, pushing his brows together as he tried to piece together how Roxas was taking it.

"Don't bother. You obviously didn't listen to anything I just said so why should I expect you think differently just because you're hurting me? I have limits, Axel. I was willing to try and bring him in to help us because I knew it would mean a lot to you in terms of giving us a push. I didn't expect you to disregard me completely once he got here. I forgot that was the entire purpose of bringing _me_ here in the first place, too," Roxas said and shuffled his way out of the bed. He retrieved a pair of pajama pants quickly and pulled them on as the redhead gaped at him.

"That's not what I meant. You can't seriously think I regret—wait!" Axel gasped as Roxas left, closing the door behind himself quietly. The Carrier stared at the door for a moment before he frantically threw himself out of the bed. He scrambled around and pulled on a pair of shorts before nearly leaping over the bed and throwing the door open. Roxas wasn't anywhere in immediate eyesight and his heart dropped into his gut.

* * *

Roxas didn't run but he certainly wasn't hesitating when he left the bedroom. As he stalked down the hall past Ventus' room, the cafeteria, and eventually the front entrance, he attempted to not think very much. He wasn't very successful and his mind kept reverting back to Axel and Ventus' compatibility percentage. He tried to put together the numbers and attempt to understand why it was so easy for them to get along. Then he remembered Leon and Cloud's paltry eighteen percent and it threw a wrench into his mentality. He couldn't understand why it was all so significant and why it hurt so much to be less compatible with Axel. His feet went on auto-pilot as he left the facility, his mind fogging over in his confusion as he headed into the city.

* * *

Sora was quite comfortable in the snug little niche Riku had created for him with his body and warmth. The Carrier's bedroom was still hopelessly freezing but Riku had curled himself around his Charge enough to where it didn't matter to Sora anymore. The brunette slept soundly under the tangle of his Carrier's limbs, his breath making tiny puffs of condensation as they left him and dissipated into the snowy hair that hung in front of him. They both startled and let out tandem surprised yelps when their peaceful setting was disrupted by a series of loud knocks on the door. Riku was awake almost instantly and picked his face up to glare at the door. Sora let out an annoyed mumble and attempted to roll over and ignore it. There was more knocking, and neither of them could just will it away. Riku sighed and, much to Sora's chagrin, left the bed to answer the door. It was Axel.

"Have you seen Roxas?" the redhead asked worriedly without a proper greeting. Riku blinked at him a few times as the sleep barely leaked away.

"Hmm?" he grunted confusedly. He was being assaulted with too much thinking too quickly.

"Roxas. He's gone," Axel repeated earnestly. "Please tell me you've seen him."

"No, we haven't," Riku muttered and rubbed his eye. Sora sat up and clung to the covers, his chocolate spikes sticking up more than they usually did.

"Wha' happen?" the brunette asked drowsily. Axel ran his fingers through his hair a few times and let out a sigh.

"He got angry at me and left. I've looked everywhere for him and I can't find him. I thought he'd come here. No one else has seen him either," the redhead said.

"How long has he been gone?" Riku asked.

"Over an hour."

"Oh. Should we call the police or something? Do you think he left the facility?"

"…I don't think he'd be that stupid after everything that's happened but I can't think of anywhere else he would be. I even called Zack and Tifa and they didn't see him. I can't imagine he got very far if he did leave," Axel said. Sora rubbed his face and leaned across the bed and picked up his watch to take in the time. He groaned. It was after one in the morning.

* * *

Leon had Cloud in a near headlock. Not on purpose, but it was just the way their positioning had ended up in the middle of their night of sleep. Neither of them would realize how strange it looked until the morning when they were forced to wake up and notice. That is, had they made it until morning. There was a fervent banging on their front door that prodded at them both in their respective sleepy hazes. Neither male was an easy riser and in his subconscious euphoria, Leon's arm curled inward as he slowly started to register the noise. Cloud was awake quickly though as his airway was suddenly cut off. He gasped and took a second to remember where he was before he sent his elbow backwards into Leon's ribcage harshly. The Carrier's eyes flew open and he coughed at the force. Cloud struggled against him and Leon released him quickly. The blonde sat up instantly and coughed a few times, pulling the much needed oxygen back into his system. He glared at his Carrier before punching him in the stomach.

"What was that for?" Leon groaned and rolled over.

"For trying to kill me!" Cloud barked angrily rubbing his throat lightly.

"You probably deserved it," the Carrier huffed and rubbed his eyes. The banging on the front door sounded again, reminding them both of why they were awake in the first place. Cloud looked at his watch.

"It's fucking two in the morning," he growled at the device like it was its fault for the time.

"Well go on, go get it woman," Leon snorted and reached his arms up under his pillow and pulled it into his face with a tired sigh. Cloud sent a glare to him before shifting himself around and shoving his feet into the Carrier's back. Leon groaned again as he was pushed across the mattress unwillingly. The blonde continued to kick at him until he nearly fell off.

"Fuck you. Get up," Cloud sneered. Leon put a leg over the edge of the bed to prevent himself from doing a face plant onto the floor. The blonde kept kicking him until he slowly pushed himself up with a grunt.

"Stop it," he grumbled and grabbed Cloud's foot. "If you have enough energy to abuse me, why do I have to get up?"

"Because you almost suffocated me. Go," the blonde said. Leon gave him a look that said 'and I should care about you suffocating, why?' before he heaved another sigh. He looked to Cloud, then to himself. Cloud was wearing pants, and Leon wasn't. The Carrier used the blonde's foot as leverage and pulled him across the bed abruptly. Cloud slid across the fabric with a yelp but didn't react fast enough when Leon's hand snaked up and his fingers wrapped around the tops of his pajama pants. The Carrier unceremoniously yanked the fabric off of his Charge's body and down his legs before disrobing him completely. Cloud kicked at him some more but Leon simply laughed at him before stepping away a few feet and began pulling the pants on himself. He tossed the blonde's underwear over his shoulder and they landed on the floor uselessly.

"Thanks," he said as he situated the fabric on his hips before heading to the door.

"Bastard," Cloud huffed but didn't make a move to retrieve his clothing. He simply shuffled the disheveled covers into some semblance of order before laying himself down again and attempting to finish his sleep cycle.

Leon was quite pleased with himself, and by the time he made it to the door he wasn't even annoyed for being awake at such an ungodly hour. He was halfway expecting it to be a Technician or someone else coming to tell him about some emergency he needed to attend to about his family, or one of his sisters for the same reason. What he wasn't expecting, was Roxas. He threw the door open and blinked at the vertically challenged blonde confusedly for a moment, registering his appearance. Roxas was wearing just about as much clothing as he was.

"Uh, hi," Roxas said flatly. Leon raised a befuddled brow.

"Hi. Lost?" he asked. The blonde shook his head.

"No. I need to ask you something."

"You do realize it's two in the morning?"

"No, but thanks for the update. Sorry."

"Do you also understand there are serious safety issues when one walks around in the city with hardly any clothing on at this hour?" Leon asked.

"It's not one of the most intelligent things I've ever done," Roxas admitted.

"Good. Just so we're clear. What did you need?"

"What was your relationship with Cloud like when you guys first met?"

"…Well that's a bit personal don't you think? Not to mention completely random and strange to hear on my end."

"Yeah I know but for my own peace of mind could you just humor me for two minutes?"

"Can I know why this is relev—You know what? You need to come inside," Leon said when he realized that they were starting an entire conversation, barely dressed, in his front doorway. He held the door open and lifted his arm enough for Roxas to walk under it comfortably. The blonde went inside quietly and plopped onto the couch with a grumpy huff. Leon went to the stairs. "Cloud!" he yelled. Roxas flinched a bit from the sudden volume increase.

"Shut the _fuck_ up, jackhole!" Cloud yelled back.

"Don't come down here without pants!" Leon yelled back at him.

"…I'm going to kill you," came the gruff muttered reply Roxas could hear more through the ceiling than from the stairs. He raised a confused brow but Leon didn't say anything further and went to take a seat in one of the armchairs next to him.

"Umm…" Roxas trailed. Leon waved a hand.

"Don't worry about it," he dismissed.

"Right, okay. So…what were you guys like?"

"Can I know why this is relevant?"

"Well," the blonde started as his cheeks pinkened a bit. "I was trying to understand why compatibility percentage was important. Axel gets along way better with Ventus than he did with me when we first knew each other. Ventus, as it turns out, is way more compatible with him than I am and I was wondering if you guys got along at all to support your percentage. I mean… you're not um…" he trailed as he tried to find the right words to sound at least _somewhat_ manly about this.

"Lovey dovey and stupid?" Leon finished for him. Roxas shrugged.

"I guess. But you guys obviously give a damn about one another in order to be together for so long is what I was getting at. Demyx and Zexion are lovey dovey and stupid together and I can bet their percentage is higher than mine and Axel's. I don't think the percentage has much to do with anything once a relationship starts and the people involved get closer but I was curious about yours because it was so low."

"We hated each other," Leon stated simply.

"When did it stop, exactly? You speak as if my hate for you is in the past tense already," Cloud interjected abruptly as he padded down the stairs in a new pair of pajama pants. He stopped at the bottom and raised a confused brow at Roxas. "Why are you half naked in my house?" he asked grumpily. Roxas shrugged.

"Seemed like the exciting place to be at the moment," Roxas replied without missing a beat. Cloud snorted.

"You've got really dull tastes then, kid," he muttered as he headed into the kitchen. He pulled open the refrigerator and started rifling through its contents. Leon pushed his brows together and looked over his shoulder at the glowing appliance.

"Hey fatass, it's still dark out," he said pointedly.

"Shut up, it's what I do every damn day. Wake up. Eat. Been doing it for a million years and my stomach doesn't know what time it is," Cloud huffed and retrieved himself a container of leftovers. He kicked the door shut again and went to fetch himself a bowl. Leon sighed tiredly and rubbed his eyes before looking to Roxas again.

"Does that answer your question?" he asked. The smaller blonde nodded.

"It does. And, believe it or not I feel better because of it," he said. Having some explanation outside of Axel simply being social reassured him some. At least now he could delude himself into believing that the computer told him to be an ass to Axel in the beginning. Deep down he knew that wasn't the case, and he had no real excuse, but he had some reassurance none the less. It also helped him understand why Axel was gravitating towards Ventus more. Not completely, because he still didn't have that much of an idea of what the compatibility score was based on in the first place, but it helped. Sort of. Maybe. Kind of. He couldn't decide, but after waking Leon and Cloud up at two in the morning, he couldn't let on that he was still confused and hope to escape the house with his skin in tact.

"Does Axel know you're here?" Cloud asked as he shoveled a forkful of something vaguely chicken-like into his mouth.

"Probably not, if he's looking for me," Roxas said.

"Did you leave while he was asleep or something?" Leon asked.

"No, we had a fight," the smaller blonde said flatly.

"Ooo," Cloud cooed with an amused chuckle.

"Really? How did you get away so quickly without him realizing where you went?" Leon asked. Roxas shrugged.

"I don't know if he's looking for me. He might have just gone to sleep, assuming I'm in the lab somewhere."

"Cloud will drive you back."

"Like hell I will," the taller blonde spat.

"Cloud will drive you back," Leon repeated and pushed himself out of his chair and headed for the stairs.

"Fuck you," Cloud huffed around another mouthful of chicken.

"Cloud will drive you back," the Carrier repeated again as he started heading upstairs. Roxas watched him go with a raised brow.

"It's the middle of the night!" Cloud insisted. There was a moment of brief silence before a set of keys sailed down the stairs and clattered onto the tile at the bottom. Cloud glared at him and sighed as he set his fork down and started to put the container of leftovers away.

"Drive him back," Leon ordered from to top of the stairs one last time before he went to put himself back to bed.


	72. Chapter 72

**Chapter 72**

On January eighth, in the year 1914, Germany declared war on Russia and it was the official start of World War I. Demyx was not pleased. Hardly two weeks passed since then before there were papers being delivered to him, Zexion, and most of his male human friends that called them in to serve their country. Demyx felt no obligation towards Germany outside of Zexion. He couldn't give two damns about the war and whatever was involved in it. He knew the dates, and the basic idea of what happened, but it really wasn't his concern otherwise so he disregarded it. Zexion, on the other hand, was conflicted. They sat together in Demyx's little cottage with their draft papers, thinking.

"I think it's time to go, Zex," Demyx said after a long silent pause. Zexion had stuck by him and listened to all of his confusing tales of 'Carriers,' 'Charges,' 'Domes,' 'Technicians,' 'The Great War,' and so on and so forth. He retained maybe half of what he was actually told, but all he knew for sure was that he didn't want to leave Demyx's side. Regardless of whatever Demyx happened to be physically, he was still Demyx inside and that's what mattered. He couldn't say that leaving his current existence in exchange for something totally different didn't scare the hell out of him though. That, coupled with the sense of duty he felt towards his home country made him even more apprehensive.

"Do you think I'm ready for it all so soon?" Zexion asked as calmly as he could. Leaving his old life as a whole seemed okay. He wasn't really enjoying it all that much and his minor attachment to his parents would fade with time, though he would never forget them. His father was very business-like and treated him more like an investment versus a son for pretty much his entire life and his mother… was his mother. The woman was just about as catty and as shrill as most of the other women Zexion had come in contact with over the course of his life. She was his mother, yes, but he was always under the impression she never wanted to be. He didn't take it personally; she was much younger than his father and probably wasn't ready for a child as far as her maturity level went. He was raised by nannies and the help until he was old enough to read. Then at that point, he was taken by his father around to various business affairs and his life of seclusion with his books began whenever he had time to himself. It wouldn't be hard to say goodbye.

"I don't think you'll ever be ready if we stay here," Demyx chuckled. "It's one of those situations where you _have_ to see it in order to fully understand. Regardless of what your choice is, I know that at the very least that I can't stay. I can't participate in this war for more than one reason outside of simply not wanting to."

"You do realize dodging the draft is highly illegal, yes?" Zexion questioned, raising a brow. Demyx laughed.

"Good thing I don't intend to come back then," he said.

"You're serious?"

"I am. I can't leave and let you do whatever you feel you need to for a period of time and then come back for you, Zex. We don't have much time before the draft officers come to get us, either."

"Well…" Zexion hesitated as he carefully considered the situation. _Not_ being dragged off to war sounded like an okay thing too, even if he felt he should be to some extent. "When did you want to do this?" he asked after several minutes of silence. Demyx perked up considerably and he gave his Charge a huge smile.

"I'm ready whenever you are. We can't take much with us, something very small if we must and it needs to be made of natural materials. Did you have anything you wanted to take?" he asked. Zexion pushed his brows together in thought.

"Nothing completely natural, no. You say they have books, correct?"

"Oh yes. Most of them are in different forms than the ones here, but we have them. A lot of the literature from here is over there as well so some of your favorites you may be able to read again."

"I see. And you want to leave now? Right this moment?"

"I don't see why we should hesitate. It wouldn't matter if we said goodbye to anyone, you know. We've been over this."

"Yes, I know. I'm…just a little apprehensive is all."

"Understandable. I would be too if I was in your situation. But I'll be right there with you every step of the way. I won't leave your side. You have my word on that," Demyx said and set his papers aside and stood from his chair. Zexion fiddled with his own documents for a moment, his nerves settling in. He looked up to the sandy blonde and Demyx gave him a smile. The Charge then looked around the room a bit before heaving a shaky breath and standing as well. He let the papers fall out of his hands and followed after Demyx to the cellar door.

****~o~** **

The next thing Zexion could recall from those distant memories was waking up in his stasis chamber on around the sixth day of the first treatment. He could vaguely recall his confusion when he heard the language of the new world for the first time, as well as a few pairs of hands on him that he wasn't sure were Demyx's or not. When he could open his eyes though, Demyx was right there in front of his glass tube, just as he said he was going to be. Through the distortion in the glass, Zexion could see that the Carrier had changed his clothing and that he wore an expression of pure elation. But other than that, he couldn't discern much else. Demyx looked over his shoulder and it was clear he was talking excitedly to someone and he gave a small jump in his place as he pressed his hands to the glass. He looked back to Zexion, grinning from ear to ear before he squashed his entire body against the chamber, giving it a hug.

It was somewhere around that point Zexion realized he was completely naked. But, he couldn't do much about it and tried his best to ignore it. Instead, he thought about what was to become of him and what the hell he was doing floating around in a tube of liquid anyway. Demyx hadn't mentioned the tube.

****~o~** **

The seventh day of Zexion's treatment rolled by as slow as it possibly could. Demyx paced around in front of the stasis chamber impatiently, waiting for the machine to signal when it was over and his Charge was stable enough to come out. The previous week was torture for him. Usually, Charges opened their eyes around the third day and the fact that Zexion hadn't, scared him. He was so incredibly frightened that the stasis chemicals were eating his Charge from the inside out, like they sometimes did, but much to his relief, Zexion turned out fine. There was a loud ' _beep_ ' before a blue light lit up at the top of Zexion's stasis chamber. The Charge inside seemed to notice and turned his head towards the larger machine he was connected to. Demyx's face split into an enormous grin before he skittered away to the Stasis Terminal's controls and started typing away.

Zexion was slowly pulled downward as the water drained from his glass cylinder. He suddenly felt like he weighed three thousand pounds and he flopped onto the floor of his tube with a groan. The air tube that was stuffed in his mouth and the plug in his nose were immediate hindrances, but he couldn't muster the strength in his arms to lift them and pull them out. He didn't have to wait long though. The door to his watery home was pulled open and Demyx was suddenly in his face with a blanket for him. The air tube and the nose plug were removed and Zexion flexed his sore jaw a few times.

"Hi there," Demyx said happily as he used a corner of the blanket to wipe at Zexion's face and hair. The Charge blinked at him groggily but managed a small smile. It took him a moment to register that Demyx wasn't speaking German anymore and he pushed his brows together. The Carrier noticed his expression and giggled a bit before wiggling an arm around Zexion's waist and under his legs and pulling him out of the stasis chamber.

After drying the Charge as best as he could, Demyx wrapped Zexion up in several blankets just as the shivering set in. The sandy blonde scooted his Charge around and draped Zexion's legs around his waist, and his arms over his shoulders, and lifted him up. Zexion sagged against him tiredly and rested his forehead in the crook of the Carrier's neck. Demyx giggled again and laid a series of small kisses against his face before heading out into the hall towards his bedroom. Zexion didn't have the energy to pay attention to where he was going. He was quite pleased that the journey wasn't far though.

Demyx sat on his bed carefully, making sure not to land on Zexion's legs. He scooted backwards until his back met with his pillows, pulling his Charge along with him. He pushed Zexion's limbs around so he lay between his legs and against his chest comfortably and wrapped him in a firm embrace. Zexion was silent, but Demyx wasn't worried. The Charge was breathing and with him, so everything was fine. He rubbed Zexion's back a few times.

"You're allowed to sleep," the sandy blonde urged. Zexion blinked slowly a few times, watching the walls across from his line of vision. He nodded a bit after another moment of silence ad let his eyes drift closed again. Demyx smiled and pet Zexion's dampened hair some, waiting for his breathing to deepen and even out. It didn't take long and Demyx was able to shift them both around so Zexion lay on the mattress properly, allowing the Carrier to get up and get them both under the covers. Demyx pulled his Charge against him comfortably, a sense of triumph coming over him.

His eyes watered a bit in his happiness as he took in Zexion's sleeping face. It was just about the most beautiful thing he had ever seen before and he couldn't stop another grin from spreading across his lips. He was successful in finding his Charge and bringing him over. They could live together and focus on each other and their work peacefully. Zexion didn't have to worry about whatever anyone else thought of him and could live the way he wanted to live by Demyx's side. It wasn't going to be entirely stress free, but he had the ability to make his own decisions at last, which was more than anything he could've hoped for. Demyx held a little apprehension in the back of his mind though. He knew the level of personal freedoms Carriers and Charges had weren't the best and he hoped Zexion didn't hold any ill will against him for not making that entirely clear. As far as he knew though, the things Zexion wanted were completely obtainable and he hoped it was enough.

It was, after all, just the beginning but Demyx was confident they could make it work.

* * *

"There you are!" Sora squealed when Cloud and Roxas crested the hill in front of the facility on the taller blonde's motorcycle. Roxas was sure that they had woken up most of the neighborhood along the way, but he wasn't about to pass up a free ride, even if it was a begrudging one from his driver. His little brother was pacing around out front when they saw him. Cloud cut the engine when they settled though, and turned to Roxas so they could share some words. The look of pure malice in the taller blonde's eyes when they met his, made chills fly up Roxas' spine.

"If I ever catch you waking us up at this time of night again, I swear on all that I have I will make sure you can't walk by the time you leave, got me?" Cloud growled into his face. Roxas stared at him, unable to move for a few moments. Sora was visibly shaken as well, and hesitated stepping closer to them. Eventually, Roxas swallowed thickly and nodded deftly a few times. Cloud pulled away from him enough so the smaller blonde could breathe again.

"Thanks… for the ride," Roxas trailed nervously as he jerkily pulled himself off the bike.

"I'm not going to say 'you're welcome' because you're not. I don't like getting up in the middle of the night, kid. Don't do it again unless someone's dying," Cloud added with a sideways glare.

"Right," Roxas agreed.

"Good," the other spat and started the vehicle up again. Sora and his brother watched him leave quietly. Once Cloud was gone and the rumble of the engine dissipated, the brunette turned to Roxas.

"Well now I know where you went. Axel's been having like eighty heart attacks!" Sora squeaked angrily. Roxas gave him a blank face and a nonchalant shrug.

"Surprising," the blonde said, only a _little_ spitefully. Just a little, honest. Sora furrowed his brows together.

"Did you guys fight that bad?"

"It wasn't like a screaming match or a fist fight, but he said some things and yeah, it hurt. I'm going to ask Zexion if I can bunk with him tonight," the blonde said flatly.

"You can have my room. No need to wake him up."

"You're staying with Riku, I take it?"

"Yeah, I have been for a while now."

"That's good, I suppose," Roxas said and gave a little nod. He and Sora hadn't talked very much over the last few months because well… neither of them had much to say. They each had their own lives to live even if they were so close in proximity all the time. Idle chit chat at the meal table every day didn't necessarily count as quality bonding time, but then again, they lived together and were up in each other's faces for over eighteen years before Roxas graduated and went off to college. They didn't care to know every tiny detail of each other's lives.

"I enjoy it anyway. I'll have to show you his room sometime, it's like… at a constant thirty degrees or something stupid."

"Wow. Nice. And you still have all your fingers and toes?"

"Surprisingly, yeah. He's really warm."

"Cute, Sora. Real cute," the blonde snorted and gave his sibling a nudge. Sora's cheeks pinkened a bit and he smiled.

"I know I am. Don't need to tell me twice," he joked. Roxas laughed.

"Well, is your bed clean at least? I don't need to sleep in crunchy sheets."

"Yuck, dude. Yeah, it's clean," the brunette said with a disgruntled face. They both headed off towards the entrance. "So, can I ask what Axel said?" he asked once they were inside.

"He said he regretted thinking more of me," Roxas replied flatly.

"In what context?"

"He thought that because we were comfortable with one another I would've changed and become this drastically different person and not have opinions of other people like I used to. I don't like Ventus for a lot of reasons and Axel seems to believe that just because he and I are okay, that I should magically be okay with Ventus too. Well, I'm not. And he's angry at me for it."

"You say 'opinions like I used to.' You mean judgmental ones? You're being a prick again?"

"In some ways, yes. I'm trying my hardest to be civil with him for Axel's sake but Axel doesn't seem to understand that I have limits. There's only so much forcing I can make myself do before I just can't do it anymore. I can agree that I haven't been the nicest guy, but to completely disregard my mentality for the sake of accommodating a burden is a bit much. Neither of us is completely right in this situation, but he didn't have to say he _regretted_ anything," Roxas said and let out a tiny sad sigh. They wove through the halls together and headed for Sora's room, which was just down the hall from Riku's room. Axel and the snowy Carrier were standing outside of Riku's door together, talking. Axel's back was to the approaching siblings and he didn't seem to notice them, even though Riku's eyes flicked to them briefly in acknowledgment. Sora quietly unlocked the door to his own bedroom and ushered Roxas in quickly so they could continue talking in peace.

"Once again, I feel this is one of those situations where you just kind of need to accept it and move on, Roxas. Personally, I like Ventus. He's a really nice guy and I'm sure he's not doing anything purposeful to hurt you or make you hate him outside of just being himself. I know he's a little weird, but he's not _bad_ ," the brunette said and made his way across the room to sit on the bed. Roxas followed after him and sat with him. "If I recall, you had the same issues with Axel when you guys first got together. He was weird too."

"I realize that, which is why I can understand Axel's point of view. I just need some time, and both of them being in my face about my attitude isn't helping me to adjust. He's only been here for what, less than a month?"

"A month is a long time, Roxas," Sora said, pushing his brows together.

"I don't think it is, and when Ventus is making Axel, _my_ Axel, side with him on everything in such a short amount of time, it bothers me."

"What is Axel siding with Ventus on? I didn't get the impression there was much to side with him with in the first place."

"It's not so much that we're having like… debates about politics or something, but every time there's an issue, it's never Ventus' fault. It's always 'Roxas is being a dick, again,' sort of things."

"Well, _are_ you being a dick again when that happens?" Sora asked. Roxas pushed his brows together as he thought about it.

"I don't…" he hesitated. "Well…"

"That would be a 'yes,'" Sora finished for him. The blonde let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I can't change your opinions on Ventus, dude. I can see where you're coming from a bit and I can see where Axel is coming from. I can agree that suddenly having a third wheel added into yours and Axel's happy bubble is a bit of a ball stomper, but at the same time, I thought the idea was to have Ventus help you in the long run. Jealousy isn't exactly the best way to go about things."

"Jealous? Me? Of Ventus?" Roxas grumbled, giving his brother a sideways glare. Sora shrugged.

"What else would it be? You're getting pissy because Ventus is getting Axel's support, when in reality, all Axel wants is for you to stop being a bitch and to have a little civility. Did you ever think about how stressful for him it is to have you be the way you are? You seem to forget that he's been in Ventus' shoes before, dude. He probably pities him to some extent," the brunette said and waved a dismissive hand. "You make it sound like Axel's about to drop on his knees and suck Ventus' dick when he's _way_ more likely to propose a threesome for you _all_ to enjoy."

"Oh god, Sora. Don't talk about Axel like that," Roxas spat.

"Well it's true. You're making it sound like he's going to drop you and run away with the guy. He just needs you two to get along to certain degree so you all can work together peacefully. You don't _have_ to be Ventus' best friend; just don't bash his balls every time you see him."

"I know."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Habit," Roxas said, hating with how much more mature Sora was than him at that moment. The argument was paltry at best, and he knew it. The brunette gave him a look that said a sarcastic 'seriously?' before punching him in the arm. The blonde scowled and rubbed the abused limb a bit.

"Well, then we should get you some anti-dick patches like the kind they have for people who quit smoking."

"Possibly," the blonde agreed and heaved another sigh.

"Now that you know the problem, you should get out of my room and go back to yours so you can apologize and possibly salvage the night and get laid. Maybe some sleep," Sora said finitely and yawned. Roxas gave him a curt smile and a small snort.

"You offer me your room and then kick me out?"

"Yep. I knew we would talk more and you'd probably feel like an ass and feel like you have to apologize."

"I never said I felt like an ass," Roxas defended, even though he did indeed feel relatively stupid.

"Yeah well, I don't pretend to not know you enough to think that you don't. Axel told us his side of the story already including what you did to Ventus and Riku and I both agreed you were in the wrong. Not cool, dude."

"Oh nice," the blonde sighed and rubbed his face. Sora shrugged.

"So long as you feel bad about it and know the way you've been acting is totally immature and assholeish, I don't care."

" _Thanks_ , I feel wonderful now," the blonde said sarcastically.

"It isn't my job to make you feel better anymore, dude. That's what Axel is for."

"The insinuation there is awful, Sora. Think about it," Roxas said and laughed a bit. The brunette made a thoughtful face as he thought about it for a moment. He gasped when he caught on and smacked his brother on the arm again.

"Ugh! Dude! Not like _that_!" he groaned. Roxas laughed and pushed himself off the bed and stood.

"I know, I know. Thanks though. Even if all you did was make me understand what an annoying prick I am," he said. Sora grinned.

"No problem, 's what little brothers are for, right?"

"I suppose."

* * *

Riku had told Axel that he saw Roxas and Sora go into the brunette's bedroom. They continued talking afterward for a few minutes before Axel made his way back to he and Roxas' bedroom, satisfied that he knew that the blonde was at least unharmed. He didn't stop to eavesdrop on the conversation he and Sora were sharing even though the temptation was there. He simply went back to the bedroom, and lay in the bed, feeling depressed. He didn't want Roxas to think that he regretted their relationship or bringing him to that world to be his Charge, but he also didn't want to press his luck. Roxas had come back to the facility, which was enough for now. It was after three in the morning by that point and he just wanted to sleep, if his reeling mind would allow him.

He wasn't there for twenty minutes before the door opened behind him. He looked over his shoulder and bolted upright when he realized it was Roxas, much to his surprise. He hadn't expected the blonde to come back to him so quickly.

"Roxas?" the redhead questioned in his disbelief. Roxas didn't respond and simply closed the door behind him, plunging the room into darkness yet again. The blonde made his way to the bed quietly and shuffled under the covers with him. Axel furrowed his brows in his confusion. He didn't want to sleep in the same bed with the blonde if he was going to get the silent treatment. That'd just be cruel.

"I'm sorry," Roxas said after another minute of silence. "I'll apologize to Ventus in the morning."

"Wh—" Axel started, his confusion with the blonde's sudden change of heart evident.

"You don't have to say anything, Axel. I understand what you meant when you said what you said. I'm not angry anymore. It was stupid of me to be angry in the first place, really," the Charge continued and patted his pillows around to where they were they would be comfortable for him. He settled against them, and looked up to the redhead, who was slowly coming into focus as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Axel, who could see him just fine, watched Roxas for a moment before lying back down as well.

"Just like that?" the redhead questioned.

"If you want to argue again, I guess we could."

"No no, I was just making sure. I don't want to leave something like this unfinished. You're sure you're alright?"

"I will be, yes."

"…Oh. Okay," Axel said, though his skepticism remained in the back of his mind like and itch he couldn't scratch. "Don't leave me like that again. You had me so worried," he added. Roxas nodded.

"I heard. I'm sorry."

"Where did you go?"

"I wandered around for a while but eventually ended up at Leon and Cloud's. Cloud, as it turns out, wasn't happy."

"Uh, _yeah_. I wanted to call them and see if they had seen you but I _know_ better than to wake them up. I'm surprised you still have all your limbs," Axel chuckled. Roxas shrugged a bit.

"Cloud's not so scary," he lied. He was actually terrified of what the taller blonde would do to him if he somehow stepped out of line again. He doubted Leon's control over his Charge and had a feeling that Cloud _let_ Leon top him, instead of being forced to.

"Then you obviously haven't seen him when he's genuinely angry," Axel said.

"That is a very real possibility."

"I'm glad you came back though. To me, that is," the redhead said and scooted a bit closer. Roxas nodded and met him halfway and pressed himself into the Carrier's chest, absorbing his warmth. Axel wrapped his arms around the blonde possessively and rubbed is face into his hair.

"So, I'll ask again since we're okay now. How're you feeling?" Roxas asked.

"Much better. Why? Are you expecting something different?"

"Well, I was just making sure befo—" the blonde's statement was interrupted by the sudden sound of banging on the door. Roxas groaned and rested his forehead against Axel's chest. The Carrier raised a confused brow.

"I don't hear any cries of passion in there!" Sora barked from the other side of the door.

"Wait, what?" Axel asked confusedly. Roxas rolled over to face the door so he wasn't screaming into the redhead's ear.

"I was working on it! Christ! Go away!" he sneered. The sounds of Sora's giggling filtered under the door.

"…You brought Sora?" the redhead asked.

"No, Sora followed me to make sure I didn't do anything stupid again."

"…That's really weird."

"Yeah well, sorry. I didn't ask him to," the blonde huffed, sending the door a piercing glare. He couldn't tell if Sora left or not. He doubted it. Axel didn't seem to care though and pulled the blonde back against him again from behind, weaving his hands together on his Charge's stomach. He curled his legs up under Roxas' so the blonde seemed to be sitting on his lap even though they were lying on their sides. He buried his face into the flaxen locks again and grinned against the scalp underneath.

"Cries of passion, hm?" he questioned with a low chuckle. The reverberation of the voice against his back sent Roxas' skin into a flurry of goosebumps. "You do realize it's after three in the morning?"

"Yeah, I do. But I was trying earlier too, which is why I asked if you were okay. I'm still a little paranoid you'll reopen something if had I just attacked you randomly."

"Ah. I see," the redhead said and pulled away enough to move his face lower. He started slathering the back of Roxas' neck with a series of light pecks. "I think I'm okay," he said into the skin.

"Still," Roxas insisted and pulled away from the touches enough to roll over and face him again. He gave the redhead serious eyes.

"So…is that a no?"

"No," the blonde said and nudged the Carrier's shoulder. Axel took the hint and rolled onto his back. Roxas scooted around so he could wiggle out of pajama pants and shove them away with the covers. He crawled on top of the redhead and laid himself over him, using his knees and palms to keep most of his weight off of Axel's torso. The Carrier raised a brow at him and weaved his hands together in the small of Roxas' back. The blonde smiled a bit. "It just means that I want to do most of the work. This way, I can be paranoid and get laid at the same time. It's a win-win as far as I'm concerned."

"You're such a romantic. You're turning me on with all that dirty talk. Mmm baby," Axel snorted sarcastically with a light laugh. Roxas shrugged and leaned forward to press their lips together briefly.

"I told you I almost failed my poetry class in high school, why do you doubt these things?" the blonde asked.

"I just thought I'd make a point to tell you. You have this amazing ability to be the unsexiest thing at the weirdest times and yet you still manage to get me as hard as a damn tree. Is it you or am I just an easy lay?"

"…Regardless of how I answer that, it's going to sound bad," Roxas grinned. Axel nodded his agreement with a tiny shrug. He lifted his head up to close the distance between them again, capturing the blonde's lips with his own. He slid his hands down and gave his Charge's rump a firm squeeze, forcing the blonde's hips forward a little and his breath to hitch. Roxas' hands came up to run his fingers through the redhead's hair, simultaneously snaking his tongue into Axel's mouth. The Carrier welcomed him hungrily with his own as his grip on the blonde's cheeks tightened. They stayed like that for several minutes, reveling in the warmth and the closeness of the other, only pulling apart for air.

When the teasing became too much, Roxas pulled away and leaned over to the side table and nearly threw the drawer onto the floor, he opened it so fast. Axel chuckled at him as he slid down a few inches so he could wrap his lips and teeth around one of the blonde's nipples. Roxas' body gave a visible shudder with the contact and his incessant digging through the drawer of random stuff quickened. It had been a while since they touched each other intimately like this. Axel's recovery put a serious damper on their lovemaking, obviously, and even though they both still provided samples for the lab, it was hardly satisfying. With a triumphant grunt, Roxas slammed the drawer shut, his treasure in hand. Before he could move down and start kissing the redhead again like he wanted to though, the bottle of lube was stolen from him by one of the redhead's hands, while the other held him in place.

Axel continued sucking and pulling at the blonde's skin as he flicked open the bottle and deposited a generous amount of the oily substance in his hand. He snaked his hand under Roxas and up between his legs, slicking his entrance in one swift movement before lowering his hand to his own member and leaving the excess liquid on himself for later. His fingers moved back to Roxas and he began to massage the blonde's neglected muscle. The Charge wasn't going to let Axel rip the skin from his chest anymore and shuffled himself backwards, practically impaling himself on the redhead's fingers. He didn't care though, they weren't that big of a deal anymore, he was more concerned about wrapping his tongue around Axel's again.

The Carrier's clean hand came up and cupped the back of the blonde's neck, keeping them together as his fingers worked away. The air between them was electrified and heavy with deep pants and the occasional approving groan from Roxas. After about the third finger, the blonde pulled away to catch his breath. Axel immediately attached himself to the blonde's neck and licked and pulled the skin with his lips, marking him greedily in several places. Roxas didn't have enough hair to hide them, and they both knew it, but neither of them stopped. The Charge raked his fingers through the crimson follicles, further pressing the mouth to his skin, encouraging the assault on his pulse.

Axel's fingers left him and palms pressed into his thighs, urging him backwards. Roxas shuffled back, causing the redhead's mouth to let go of him as well. The Carrier quickly gave his length a few strokes, coating himself in the neglected lubricant and held himself steady, waiting for Roxas to move back enough. The blonde hesitated with a thoughtful chew on his lip, and Axel could've smacked him for it. Roxas looked behind himself, then down at Axel's face.

"If you don't get on me soon, I'm going to fucking punch you in the dick," Axel growled. Roxas' eyebrow nearly shot off his face, it rose so quickly.

"Good god, threatening much? I was just thinking of doing something different, not stopping," the blonde laughed. The redhead gave him a frustrated huff. Roxas continued chuckling to himself as he moved off the Carrier briefly and scooted down his body another foot. He redeposited himself on the redhead's legs, backwards. He scooted back until Axel's length was wedged between his cheeks and he looked over his shoulder. "Yeah?" he asked as his skin flushed about eight different shades of pink.

"Oh yes, I'm good with this," the redhead grinned. Roxas chewed on his lip as he nodded. He pushed himself up a bit so he could wrap his fingers around Axel's member and positioned it properly, before lowering himself onto it carefully. The redhead watched himself disappear into the blonde and he nearly exploded. The sight made his toes curl and his chest tighten. Roxas grit his teeth as he moved downward slowly until the Carrier was completely sheathed inside him. He sat on Axel's pelvis and attempted to recapture his breath. The redhead pushed his brows together worriedly and kneaded the blonde's back with his fingers lightly, hoping to relax him some. Roxas looked over his shoulder to him again and gave him a soft smile.

"Sorry. Give me a minute, it's been a while," he said breathlessly.

"You don't have to do it this way if it's too much," the redhead offered. Roxas shook his head.

"No, I'm fine," he insisted, willing his trembling thighs to stop.

"Don't hurt yourself, please," Axel said. Roxas nodded.

"I'm fine," he repeated. He pulled in a deep breath before leaning himself forward, pressing his palms into the comforter between Axel's legs for stability. He gave his hips a timid lift, testing the pain level some before pressing them back down again. Axel's eyes flicked between the show, and Roxas' hazy eyes that peeked at him from over his shoulder. He didn't know which to watch, they were both so appealing. The blonde smiled at him for a moment before his focus turned to the task at hand. The pain wasn't the greatest feeling, but it was bearable enough. His body was slowly becoming accustomed to the feelings again and really, he wanted more time to adjust, but he didn't want to torture the redhead anymore that he already had.

With another breath, Roxas started to move. He had never actually had to lift his hips in such a way before and it took a few times between breaths to find a decent rhythm. He couldn't go too high without having Axel slip out of him, and the strange sort of control he had to force upon himself made his back become sore quickly. It didn't take long for Axel to grow impatient though and the redhead grabbed his hips and scooted them both backwards so he could prop himself up on the pillows and have some stability. The blonde was driving him absolutely mad with the view and he desperately wanted more control to see all that he could before it was over.

With his arms no longer being used to hold himself up to see, Axel was able to hold onto Roxas' cheeks firmly and guide his hips up and down over his length. He used his thumbs to spread the blonde open a bit more so he could see every detail as Roxas took him fully over and over again. His Charge flushed with the gawking and the greedy hands on him, but it gave him a thrill to know he had such an affect on the redhead. Axel could feel himself growing close to release the more he watched. In an effort to hold out a bit longer and help Roxas with his own climax, he completely disregarded the caution they were attempting to take and moved himself up more to a near sitting position. The blonde was a bit confused where the redhead was going with this since he couldn't move very well anymore. Axel reached around the blonde and took his hands in his own and pressed them to his Charge's length. Roxas blinked a few times and looked over his shoulder to the redhead.

The Carrier hooked his arms under the blonde's legs and hoisted him up some, causing Roxas to yelp as he was forced to recline back against Axel's chest. The redhead grabbed his cheeks again from underneath him and started to lift and move him over his length for him. The blonde was impressed with the amount of strength it must have taken to move him so effortlessly, and without the added stress of having to focus on doing it himself, he found the experience to be much more enjoyable. He let himself be guided around by the redhead's hands, letting him know how much better he felt with a few breathy moans. Axel buried his lips into the blonde's neck and immediately one of Roxas' hands came up and curled behind his neck, holding him in place. The other hand moved down as he began stroking himself, coaxing fourth his much needed release.

Axel's plan of holding himself back worked for all of three minutes. As soon as he caught a glimpse of Roxas pleasuring himself, his eyes were locked on the motion and the ocular overstimulation pushed him over the edge. He climaxed with shuddering moan that rippled down Roxas' spine, giving him goosebumps and causing his ears to ring a bit with the volume. The redhead didn't give himself time to relax and dropped Roxas' legs to curl his arms inward and shoo his hands off of himself. The blonde was relatively close himself, but as soon as Axel's hands were on him and stroking him, it became so much more. The redhead's lips pulled at the skin on his neck roughly as his hands worked his Charge over, forcing Roxas' back to arch and a cry to escape his throat as he released, sending ribbons of white over Axel's fingers and onto his stomach.

They both relaxed back, attempting to catch their breaths with heavy gulps. Axel, completely ignoring the mess, hugged Roxas around the waist tightly and rested his forehead on his shoulder. The blonde patted his arms tiredly and let out a long breath. He didn't want to move, he didn't want to think, he didn't want to say or do anything but bask in the afterglow, but they both desperately needed a shower now. If they waited too long, they would risk falling asleep and that didn't tend to end well. Crunchy sheets and possible urinary tract infections on Axel's end made bathing a necessity, but oh so tiresome.

Then again, round two in the shower didn't sound so bad either.


	73. Chapter 73

**Chapter 73**

"Roxas? Forgive me."

"What did you do?"

"It's not _what_ I did so much as it is what I feel I have to do."

"Uh, okay."

"I think I need to have sex with Ansem."

"…What?" Roxas asked, turning his attention to Axel fully. They were sitting in the relatively deserted cafeteria together, much to the blonde's elation. For whatever reason, the room was mostly empty and their friends were off doing other things. It was after two in the afternoon though, and a strange time to have breakfast, but the previous night's festivities didn't let them have any sleep until after five in the morning and they both decided to be lazy that day because of it. Axel was completely fine and showed no signs of their activities. Roxas, on the other hand, looked like he had been bashed in the neck with a baseball bat. He had over a dozen red marks and purple bruises where the redhead had latched onto him a few hours prior. Normally, he would be upset. But he thought of them as badges that showed everyone that they were okay now. Together, and okay. He was still happy no one they cared to associate with saw them yet though.

"Look," Axel said and turned in his seat, holding his plate of meat chunks out for the blonde to inspect. Roxas blinked at it.

"What am I looking at, here?" he asked, raising a brow at the pile of uncooked pieces.

"You don't see the difference?" the redhead asked. Roxas squinted at it some more before shaking his head. Axel let out a sigh and set the plate down. He picked up two pieces and held them up. "These are two different animals. Different! Variety!" he said happily. Roxas squinted at the morsels again. Indeed, he could see some slight variation in color now that he knew what to look for.

"Why does that constitute you having sex with Ansem?" he asked curiously.

"Because it's probably his doing," the redhead continued and stuffed both pieces in his mouth with a smile.

"What animals did it come from? Can you tell?"

"Goath an' cow," Axel sputtered around his mouthful. Roxas scowled a bit but ignored it. Normally the Carrier's table manners were better and he chocked the momentary lapse up to excitement. Eating regular cow meat for ninety years had to get dull, and the added novelty of having a bit of goat tossed in must have been fantastic. Roxas didn't notice any difference with his food. He was a bit jealous.

"Why do you think its Ansem though? It would make more sense that they had a surplus of cloned goats and didn't know what to do with them all so they gave them to the facilities."

"No," Axel said and swallowed. "The prices in goat meat would drop for the masses. Carriers wouldn't get it unless it's on the verge of spoiling. But this stuff is…really really good. Like the goat was in the back twenty minutes ago and now it in my face. Oh my god," he continued lustfully as he chewed on another piece.

"Weird," Roxas remarked and continued eating. The meal continued on in peace, Axel stopping every now and again to drape his face on Roxas' shoulder to make a variety of noises that sounded more like he was having sex with the food rather than eating it. The Charge was amused with the display though and let him have his fun without complaint. He was secretly grateful that the cafeteria staff portioned the meals to each specific Carrier, otherwise Axel may have over eaten and literally busted his gut when it came time to digest. After turning their trays in, and the redhead washed his hands, they laced their fingers together and made their way out into the hall and down to the lab to check on things. They didn't make it, because Sora was talking excitedly to Riku in front of their own lab down the hall.

"Roxas! Axel!" the brunette called and waved them over. They exchanged a look before heading down towards them. When the blonde came into focus though, Sora gasped and rushed over to them. He nearly tackled his brother to the ground, grabbed his face, and turned it from side to side, looking his neck over. Roxas tried to bat him away but the brunette held steady. "Who do I need to beat up!" he squeaked. Axel let out a snort.

"Really? Are you that oblivious?" he asked with an amused chuckle. Sora looked to him with a light glare, then back to Roxas who rolled his eyes at him and heaved a tiny sigh.

"Oh wait," the brunette said and let go of his brother's face. "Never mind," he said and giggled. Behind him, Riku closed his eyes and shook his head lightly with a small smile. Sora didn't notice. He grinned at Roxas. "I would make a comment, but I think I've said enough already. But! But! We need to show you things!" he said, bouncing a little in his place.

"Indeed, there is much activity happening outside," Riku agreed calmly. Axel blinked and raised a brow.

"Really?" he questioned. Riku nodded and motioned for them to follow. Sora skittered down the hall after him. The pair exchanged another look before heading after them. They wove through the halls together and eventually emerged out by the pool.

"Holy _shit_ ," Axel gasped. Roxas' jaw dropped.

Neither of them could guess what time all the activity started, but it was obvious there had been a lot of people doing a lot of things very early in the morning that day. The pool area normally contained the pool itself, and a wide expanse of grass for lounging and doing whatever. But now, there was hardly any grass left. Suddenly, there was a mass of upturned earth surrounding the colorful rocks and water. Trees, of every variety and size as well as bushes and perennial flowers had been stuffed into the ground, covering the grassy area in a very lush landscape. Leon, Zexion, as well as many others were all milling about getting their hands dirty in the soil. Cloud was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Ventus. The blonde and the redhead looked at each other and shared their silent astonishment.

The biggest change was the enormous magnolia tree that had somehow made its home in the middle of the open area. It was flowering and leaking petals everywhere as the people underneath it filled in the giant hole it needed with the misplaced dirt. Day lilies of vibrant oranges, yellows, and deep plums were scattered everywhere amongst masses of tall fuzzy grasses and daffodils. There were dozens of different flower beds covered in bright purple irises, a rainbow of primroses, and tulips with other decorative grasses and sprigs of baby's breath meshed between them. In the distance, there was a bevy of trucks filled with huge piles of dirt and mulch as well as several crews of people standing around them. The trucks themselves were mammoth in scale with large onion shaped domes of anti-radiation glass and accompanying pearly sheen over their beds. Technicians rushed around behind them, making reports and talking amongst themselves. It was evident that there was more work to be done still, because there was an additional truck behind those with even more plants to be deposited.

"I'm… really confused," Roxas said. Sora grinned from ear to ear.

"Isn't it great?" he squealed. The blonde nodded.

"Yeah…I just… don't know what to think. When did this all start?"

"This morning at around sixish, I think. That's what Zexion said, anyway. Nobody's said _why_ yet, but it's pretty awesome. It smells so nice," the brunette said and took a deep sniff. Riku went off to help push around dirt clods with Leon and Zexion. Sora pointed up, and the pair followed his direction. They both were rendered speechless again for a moment.

"What the hell is _that_?" Roxas asked.

"That's a weather generator," Axel said simply. There was a massive machine dangling from the top most part of the dome. People, who looked like tiny dots in comparison, were upside down and attached to the glass panes around it somehow and hard at work doing whatever it was they were doing. From the ground underneath them, it was hard to tell the details of everything that was going on. The machine itself looked like an enormous white cube but Roxas wasn't entirely convinced that was all there was to it.

"Wait. So we're all of a sudden getting plants and weather?" the blonde asked, looking back to his brother. Sora shrugged.

"Apparently. There are supposedly people over at Leon and Cloud's house installing windows for them. Like, actual windows. Not holes in the walls. That's where Cloud is now," the brunette explained. Axel pushed his brows together and looked around at all the activity.

"Wow," was all the redhead had to say. Everything was happening so quickly, it all seemed so surreal. For Roxas, and quite possibly Sora as well, it was a little too good to be true. They had both grown accustomed to the weatherless and anti-flowering atmosphere and to suddenly switch back to the closest that world could come to Radiant Garden, was a bit strange. The brothers shared smiles, but there was a bit of apprehension behind their cerulean eyes. It was unreal.

"I wonder if this is connected to the switch in food?" Roxas questioned, looking to Axel.

"Riku noticed the food too," Sora said. "He was really happy."

"Yeah. Different food is nice, but I never expected _this_. I'm a little overwhelmed," the redhead admitted. "I have this really big urge to change and roll around in the dirt. Then change back and have sex in the flowers," he added bluntly.

"Riku and I have first dibs in the clearing in the tall grass," Sora said and turned a bit to point over his shoulder to a large expanse of fuzzy tall grasses. Roxas scowled and whacked his brother on the shoulder.

"Maybe the tree," Axel said and cast a thoughtful glance to the magnolia tree.

"We have our own tree," the blonde said, giving him a nudge.

"Very true," the redhead agreed with a smile. Sora raised a brow.

"What?" he asked. Roxas waved him off, dismissing the discussion. The brunette made a disgruntled thinking face before shrugging it off and looking around.

"I wonder if the Charge forum will say anything," the blonde said.

"You could go in and check," Axel offered. Roxas nodded.

"I think I'll do that. Possibly see if I can find Ventus in the process," he said. The redhead nodded and leaned over to kiss the top of his head, sending the blonde on his way.

* * *

After an hour of searching, Roxas couldn't find anything about the sudden changes amongst the topics in the Charge forum. The general newsfeed didn't say anything useful either. He was quickly growing frustrated as his questions went unanswered and the minutes ticked by. Eventually, he gave up and exited out of everything and headed out of the lab. He hoped that Ansem wasn't heartless enough to change everything around without saying something eventually and that he would figure it all out later. The facility was mostly empty as he weaved through the halls. Practically everyone was outside enjoying the new additions and helping set everything up. It was odd that Ventus wasn't out there with them. Roxas found him in his room.

"Ventus?" the younger blonde asked when he pushed the bedroom door open and peeked inside. The room was pitch black save for a bit of light streaming through the sides of the shade that had been pulled over the window. Roxas stepped inside and closed the door behind himself quietly. "Hey."

"Hmm?" Ventus grunted before looking over his shoulder and squinting at the intruder. He was huddled in his bed, his hair barely ghosting the top of the covers. When he woke up enough to realize someone was there with him, he reached an arm up and flailed around for the light on the side table next to him. He clicked the lamp on, shedding a light glow and obliterating the darkness. He squinted against it before looking to Roxas again. The room was a hot mess, and smelled a bit stale to the younger blonde. Books littered the floor and there were random piles of laundry everywhere because Ventus had nowhere to put them. The bed was a jumbled mess as well as Ventus lay beneath the comforter, curled up in a ball in one of the top corners against his pillows.

"You look like shit," Roxas blurted. The older blonde ignored him and pulled the covers over his head to block him out. Of what the younger blonde could see from the brief glimpse of Ventus' face, the other looked like complete garbage. He had taken all of the metal out of his face and ears, his eyes had dark rings under them, his hair was a disheveled mass of bed head, he was deathly pale, and he was sweating. Visibly sweating, even from where Roxas was standing.

"If you're here to kick me, do it and leave. I feel like I've been hit by a bus and I don't need your bullshit today, Roxas," Ventus grumbled with a hoarse voice through dry lips. The Charge winced a little at the harsh tone.

"I wasn't intending on kicking you, but I can if you want," Roxas attempted to joke.

"If I have an option, I would prefer you didn't. Just leave."

"Well, I actually came to apologize."

"It only took you what? Two weeks? Goodness, you must be pushing yourself," Ventus spat bitterly and glared at the wall across from himself. He coughed a few times, pulling his hands up to cup over his mouth. Again, Roxas winced. It sounded like the older blonde had inhaled an entire barrel full of sawdust and was trying to push it out through a straw. A bendy straw.

"Yeah…I know. I've already had the 'Roxas is an asshole' discussion with Sora. Admittedly, it isn't the first time I've had the same talk. Practically everyone I know has said it at some point."

"Well… okay. Is that all you needed?" Ventus asked, looking over his shoulder groggily. Roxas shrugged and nodded.

"I'll make more of an effort to be less assholeish."

"Thank you."

"Did you need something though? How long have you been sweating that much?" the younger blonde asked and scooted his way around the bed to see Ventus properly. He stooped down too look into his face. Ventus pushed his brows together.

"Nice hickeys," he said with a hoarse chuckle which ended in a few coughs. He said it with a smile though, so it wasn't completely awful.

"Yeah, I'm aware of them. Seriously though, did you need me to do something?"

"I don't know. I get sick a lot, Roxas. I've been taking care of myself for a while now. I was prepared to just wait it out."

"And meanwhile, this may be the one time whatever you have develops into pneumonia and you die on my watch. Not happening. Sorry."

"Nice paranoia. I need to get some of that."

"It's a very real possibility and you know it."

"It is, I understand. I'm not really sure what you could do though."

"I'll go raid the medical supply shed and see what I can see," Roxas offered and stood again. "What are your symptoms?"

"…You don't have to do this, you know."

"Symptoms," Roxas repeated. Ventus furrowed his brows together. He wasn't actually prepared to be taken care of like a child just yet. He honestly didn't feel it was the end of the world if he became a little sick here and there though he knew the repercussions behind it. The various illnesses he had contracted over the years from his repressed immune system was the main reason to get rid of the HIV, as expected, but he never had anyone to fawn over him like a mother hen before. Not that Roxas was being overly loving, but the concern was evident. For as much as they didn't get along, the last thing on Roxas' mind was to wish physical harm on the older blonde. Annoyance and general displeasure, yes. But a possible death wish? Not so much. Ventus mulled the scenario over a bit and let out a sigh.

"My entire body aches, I'm sweating a lot, I probably have a fever, I'm exhausted after sleeping well enough, headache, my throat hurts, and I have a cough," he grumbled flatly and burrowed under the blankets again. Roxas nodded and stepped around the bed again.

"I'll be back," he said and left the room quietly. He made his way through the halls and out to the pool again where Axel had taken to digging around in the dirt with everyone else. Sora was off with Riku by the trucks where they were helping the crews and Technicians unload more plants. Zexion wasn't in immediate eyesight. Leon was with Axel, but Roxas only found him there when he approached the redhead. The blonde thought it strange that he couldn't see Leon right away because he was nearly buried up to his elbows in soil and surrounded by a bed of huge irises. Roxas had no idea what he was doing in the middle of the plants like that, but he didn't question it. For the first time since Roxas had met him, Leon had a look on his face that could only be described as one of absolute joy. He didn't want to jinx it by talking to him. Axel noticed him quickly though and dropped what he was doing to stand and talk to him.

"We heard Ansem is going to do an announcement later today on the newsfeed shortly after dinner," the redhead said. Roxas blinked, he had forgotten he was trying to figure out what all the renovations were for.

"Oh. Okay. I have a bigger problem though."

"What now?" Axel asked and pushed his brows together.

"Ventus is sick," the blonde said. Leon noticed and stopped… whatever he was doing and looked up at him from the dirt.

"Like, sick sick or HIV sick?" the redhead asked.

"Well, he's probably got something relatively simple but he's not dealing with it very well. I was just about to head over to the medical supply shed and get some stuff for him. I figured you'd want to know."

"Alright. I'll come with," Axel said and Roxas nodded and headed off to walk around the side of the building. The medical supply shed was in the field, which was the next common outdoor area over from the pool if one was to head around the building's edge. All the landscaping stopped once they were out of the immediate area. It either meant that the field was staying as-is, or they hadn't gotten that far yet. Both were very real possibilities. It couldn't very well be a field anymore if there were a bunch of trees and plants in the way. They crossed the grassy area quickly and headed into the tiny building.

The medical supply shed was a fully stocked, refrigerated bunker-like building on the inside. It was really only called a 'shed' because of its relatively small size. It didn't have extensive equipment or anything that could be pulled into the facility to do overly complicated procedures, but if one needed some sort of mild medical care, everything was there for them. Packets of intravenous fluids, liquid antibiotics and painkillers, extra hypodermic needles, drip stands to hang things from, bandages and other dressing materials, sterile needles and medical thread for small stitches, and everything in between; including the equivalent of a small pharmacy of over the counter medications for various ailments, and a plethora of vitamin supplements.

To gain access, a Carrier (or Charge) had to enter the model number associated with them and scan their thumbprint. Each item inside had a barcode as well as a metal sensor attached to the packaging that had to be scanned at the door before they were taken out. The scanner would deactivate the sensor and they could leave without setting off the alarm. If someone was to try and steal something, or take excessive supplies without needing them, the alarm would sound and a Technician would be called. It was up to the Carrier or Charge to take what they needed and measure out the dosage accordingly. The Technicians trusted that each party knew what they were doing enough or that they had enough sense to ask for help if they were unsure.

The supplies themselves were restocked every two weeks. A delivery crew came in and placed the replacement inventory in their proper places, in their cabinets, and made sure the labels were properly placed. Very rarely was there a shortage of something or someone took too much and overdosed. No one liked the discipline that followed and kept their distance. Axel and Roxas were no different in this instance. They took a drip stand, a couple bags of fluid, some antibiotics, and bottle of vitamin C tablets with them and headed back into the facility. Axel went ahead of the blonde so Roxas could stop by the lab and pick up a few extra things. The lab had a regular supply of a lot of the non-consumable items that the medical supply shed had; the shed acting as more of a refill station for those particular things.

Roxas met up with the redhead again, just as Axel was about to set the drip stand up and get everything situated in Ventus' room, his hands freshly washed. The blonde let his armful of supplies scatter all over the bed. Ventus himself was now propped up against his pillows, looking the same as he did twenty minutes before. Miserable, sweaty, and sickly. Roxas did notice that he was glaring at his comforter something fierce though. He was obviously not pleased with all the attention, which the younger blonde found odd. The Charge tossed a pair of gloves as well as several sterile moist towelettes at Axel.

"You guys don't have t—" Ventus attempted.

"Be quiet, yes we do," the redhead interjected before he could finish. Ventus let out a sigh followed by another cough before he surrendered. He remained silent, but grumpy. Having the lights on and glaring into his corneas wasn't helping his headache or his attitude any, either. Axel pulled on a pair of gloves and took up a small flashlight Roxas had brought in and sat on the side of the bed next to the ailing blonde. "Open," he said.

"What're you looking for?" Roxas asked when Ventus opened his mouth and Axel poked around with his finger using the light as a guide. The older blonde's throat was a bit red and raw looking, but otherwise, it was fine. The redhead clicked off the flashlight and tossed it aside again.

"I was checking for white spots. If he gets any sort of discoloration in his mouth like that, it could be a sign that his HIV is progressing. But, he's fine. Well… fine enough anyway," the Carrier said and leaned over to the pile of supplies to take up a sterile wipe. "Arm or hand?" he asked, looking to Ventus. Roxas moved around the bed and began piecing together the various plastic and silicone parts to make the older blonde's IV. Ventus looked between Roxas and Axel a few times before heaving another sigh and holding out his hand. Axel scrubbed his skin with the sterile wipe and Roxas handed over the needle once it was ready for him. Ventus' papery pale skin made the redhead's job easy and within seconds, the drip was set, taped into place, and he was good to go. The older blonde shuffled down under the covers again and pulled them up to his chin, watching the pair tiredly.

"Thanks," he rasped out after a moment of silence. Axel smiled while Roxas didn't make much of a reaction.

"One of us will come back in an hour or so and check on you again. We'll see how much clears up once we replenish your fluids and pump you full of antibiotics. Try to get some rest and don't roll over onto your line. That would be bad," the redhead said. Ventus nodded. Roxas left them to go into the bathroom and retrieve a glass of water. He came back and set the bottle of vitamin C and the glass on the side table for Ventus. The older blonde glanced at it briefly but didn't say anything.

"Once you get better though, there's a lot to see outside," Roxas said.

"Yeah?" Ventus asked. The pair nodded in tandem.

"Hopefully you're not allergic to flowers," Axel said and grinned.

* * *

Later that evening, Roxas and Axel huddled together at the Catalogue terminal in the lab, waiting for Ansem's broadcast. The newsfeed application had various articles and text, but there were sometimes videos accompanying it all. A placeholder video box had been inserted underneath a brief article stating the start time for Ansem's appearance since apparently, he was going to do a live feed for everyone to see. The activity outside had calmed considerably once dinner had been served (a very delicious one at that) and nearly everyone in the facility was in front of a terminal, waiting with bated breath.

There was a light beep, after about ten minutes of waiting before the video blinked on. Ansem was shown sitting at a wooden desk, with a small smile. In the background, Saïx was standing and looking out a window with tense shoulders and folded arms, his back to the camera. They seemed to be in either a lavish office or meeting hall together, but that wasn't the important part. Ansem started speaking after a moment of hesitation.

" _My friends, I have some bittersweet news. Well, I can only believe it is bittersweet for my end of things, really. I'm sure that by now, all of you are aware of Xemnas' passing and the circumstances surrounding it. Regardless of your opinion on the matter, many things have become unearthed with his absence. The biggest issue of this is the budget. Perhaps it was my own naïveté, or simple wishful thinking of his innocence and business intellect, but I was alarmed to find how incredibly self sufficient Xemnas had become over the years. Fraud, money laundering, cruel scams in illegal drug testing and trading had apparently become his forte. Though some of this had become legitimate sources of income and progression for the Committee and the Carrier Program overall, a lot of it was stockpiled for Xemnas' own use._ "

Ansem's expression turned more solemn as he continued. " _When Xemnas had passed, my initial thought about the awful circumstances at the quarantine center was that… maybe he was doing what he thought he had to in order to succeed with his new chemical creations; that it would all come to light eventually and become a beneficial thing. Perhaps he passed before he had a change to tell anyone about it and that's what led to all the secrecy that came before it. Well, once I got my hands on it all I was quickly corrected in my thinking. Yes, I will admit that the drug I allowed some Carrier/Charge couples to volunteer to test for me came from Xemnas' findings. I believe I made that clear before the sign-up templates were sent out. But…I cannot tell you all how much more there was to it._

 _I will be the first to admit that Xemnas betrayed my trust in a lot of ways. His budget that he led us to believe he needed for the quarantine facilities was astronomically high and the surplus from it was supposedly used for research. Indeed, some of it was. He was giving us results so none of us thought to question it. After so many years of living, he had amassed so much money, that it makes me feel incredibly foolish to admit how much we missed. I can't give you an official number because of confidentiality concerns but it was exceeding billions, that much I can say._ "

Ansem smiled again. " _Now, I'm sure most of you in Dome 813 are wondering what all the new additions were about. For me, I consider them to be my formal apology for everything the Carriers at the feline and canine facilities have gone though at Xemnas' hand. But all the Carrier domes will receive the same treatment eventually. Newer fresher foods, landscaping, windows for homes, and weather simulators will all be installed in due time and I hope everyone in Dome 813, my home, will share their discoveries over the Mainframe Catalogue so everyone will get an idea and can look forward for it all._

_Everything is being paid for with Xemnas' surplus. It all legally belongs to the Carrier Project and as a result, will be limited to the Carrier domes. Community and general society domes will not have anything additional added to them because that is technically the government's territory and I have no say there. I'm sure the money will run out eventually for all the enhancements but I am prepared to supplement with my own profits from the stasis treatments until everything is finished, again, as repayment for my ignorance. Unfortunately, the improvements are on public record. People from outside the Carrier domes will be aware of the special treatment and I don't expect the general public to be happy about it. I can only caution everyone to be careful._

_I cannot express my sincerest apologies sufficiently enough. So many of you had been the subject of Xemnas' cruel ways and I will do everything in my power to rinse away any wrongdoings. You all work far too hard for such cruelty and I've been aware of it for a very long time. I've only now been able to gather enough support to move forward with my sentiments though, even if it isn't absolute. I thank you all for your efforts and they will not be in vain. Change is in the air my friends, and it's for the better. I assure you._ " The transmission ended with another smile from the Technician and everything went quiet. Axel and Roxas watched the blank screen in silent astonishment for over a minute.

"I think I'm going to cry," the redhead said abruptly. The blonde looked to him with a smile. The Carrier blinked his glassy eyes a few times, smiled back, and let out a light laugh. Roxas' smile spread into a grin and he shifted around in Axel's lap enough to wrap his arms around the Carrier's neck. The redhead hugged him close and laid his face on the blonde's shoulder. Roxas combed his fingers through the crimson follicles and Axel rubbed the blonde's back in return.

"I'm happy you're happy," Roxas said. Axel pulled back so he could see his Charge's face.

"You're not happy just because?"

"Well… it's all more for your benefit, isn't it? It's cool that's all happening, and I like it. But it's really more for you than it is for me."

"Oh. I suppose that's true. I'll just have to accept that happiness for what it is then, yes?"

"Afraid so," Roxas said and gave a sage nod. They sat together, watching each other smile for a moment before they both started to laugh. Axel abruptly caught Roxas' lips with his own in mid giggle and the blonde immediately went slack against him and responded. Axel's hands wove around and hugged the blonde against his chest, pulling him in and deepening the kiss quickly. Roxas shifted around a bit to straddle the redhead comfortably instead of being twisted strangely and settled back in his place. The redhead's hands almost instantly dove under the blonde's clothes and started feeling around. The Charge pulled back from the kiss and gave the Carrier a breathy smile. "A little excited?" he asked. Axel grinned.

"Just a bit. I _really_ like it when we can both be happy."

"Apparently so, but we're a little exposed in here."

"So?" the redhead ask and smooshed his face into the blonde's neck and started kissing. Roxas laughed.

"You're not bothered by that?"

"Mmm… not really, no," Axel said and continued his ministrations. Roxas could feel himself lean into the touches but he stopped himself. He really didn't want to give any random passerby's a show. He pulled away from the Carrier a bit and crushed their lips together again, immediately shoving his tongue into Axel's mouth. Once the redhead's attention was his again he pulled away and fiddled with a piece of red hair and pressed their foreheads together.

"I'm not so voyeuristic. Take me to bed, please," the blonde said. The Carrier seemed to think about it for a moment.

"Alright," he said with a grin.

* * *

Over the course of the next two weeks, thing progressed quickly. Ventus was well enough to be out and about after a week of rest and recovery. He and Roxas spent little time together but when they did, it was quiet and civil. Axel was quite pleased. The work outside continued on at a steady pace. All of the various outdoor common areas were eventually coated in a lush landscape of various flowers and trees, except for the field which got new grass seed but nothing else. Even the outdoor enclosures for the natural offspring got a sprucing up. Everyone was incredibly happy with all of the changes and after about a week and a half, the weather simulator had successfully been attached to the highest point of the dome. There were still a few things to work out, but by the two week mark, it was ready to go.

For as much change and jovial activity that was flying around, one individual just couldn't get himself to feel the same energy. That person was Zexion. He was glad that everything was happening the way it was, but he still felt a severe sense of foreboding with everything involving Mary and Xigbar. It had been four weeks since he last talked to them. An entire month of being alone. He wasn't enjoying the solidarity like he once did. He found that he had become used to Demyx accompanying him pretty much everywhere he went. He didn't do many things by himself anymore. After the first two weeks of Demyx's recovery, the sandy blonde's samples had degraded and the work had stopped, leaving Zexion without much to do. He reread a few books, fiddled with the gardening some, did a bit of research, but mostly, he sat around and waited. It was torture.

He wasn't sure if his frequent remembrances of he and Demyx's past together were a good thing or not. He enjoyed reliving the memories to a certain degree but they always left him feeling empty afterward. He couldn't hold Demyx and share the stories. He couldn't be bugged by the Carrier for an extra few minutes of cuddling in the morning. He couldn't even have a simple conversation with him. Things got very dark for him towards the end of the recovery period, but everything was instantly better when he checked the sandy blonde's progress scans after the four week mark. Demyx was stable, could breathe on his own without much difficulty, and his hand was mostly healed. He would have to remain with a bandage and a splint on his fingers for another two weeks, and he wouldn't be able to change for at least another three, but all those details didn't matter to Zexion anymore.

Because it was time to wake Demyx up.


	74. Chapter 74

**Chapter 74**

Zexion had to force himself to remain steady as he typed away at the Diagnostic Care Center's terminal. There were several occasions where he had to stop, shake his hands vigorously to get his fingers to stop trembling, and then get back to work. Things weren't going as quickly as he wanted them to and he was torn between doing it right, or smashing the glass tube with a chair. Once his mind felt like it was at the breaking point with his anxiety, he had to stop and sit down. He didn't know why he was so nervous, or why he felt so scared. Perhaps he was confusing the excitement with fear, but there was no one to tell him differently.

He took a shaky breath and ran his fingers through his hair. He was afraid. He was certain of it. He didn't want Demyx to wake up only to deal with the ensuing drama with Mary. He didn't want Demy to wake up and possibly be hurt again. So long as he was in the Care Center, he was safe. Zexion felt a bit selfish for wanting him back and putting him in danger, but he knew it was the right thing in the end. The project needed to move forward, Mary needed Demyx's opinion more than she needed his, and well…there were so many positive changes at the facility he needed to share with the sandy blonde.

He took a minute to pull the tarp off of the glass cylinder, revealing Demyx for the first time in over a month. Immediately, his heart sunk. The feelings he had been ignoring for weeks came back full force. Demyx, so helpless and immobilized was not a happy sight for him. He felt tears sting the backs of his eyes as he forced himself over to the terminal again and resumed his work. Unlike Cloud, Zexion didn't think the waking up process was very amusing. After Demyx absorbed the stream of blue chemicals through his skin, the electrical jolt he received made Zexion wince a bit. Demyx's eyes and hair lost all life and color, but he was awake and that's all that mattered.

The liquid that kept the Carrier suspended couldn't drain fast enough. Zexion practically leapt across the lab to retrieve a blanket. He made it back to the tube just as Demyx slumped down to the bottom, blinking tiredly at the glass across from himself. Zexion flung the door open and Demyx gave him a groggy smile after he removed his breathing tube. Zexion nearly collapsed on him. He couldn't bring himself to smile just yet but he draped the blanket over the not-sandy-blonde and wrapped him in a firm embrace. The residual moisture was soaking through his pants, but he couldn't bring himself to care. It took a moment but Demyx eventually hugged him back and let out a long sigh.

"Hi," the Carrier croaked after a few squeaks of his unused vocal cords. Zexion pulled away to see his face. Demyx gave him a wobbly smile. "Did you miss me?" he asked. Zexion attempted to smile in return but it was strangled behind a sudden giddy sob that squeezed his throat and forced tears to his eyes. Demyx grinned at this though and hugged his Charge to his chest, ignoring the biting pain he felt with the pressure. He winced outwardly though Zexion didn't see.

"Only a whole lot," Zexion said after pulling his composure together again.

"Good. Did you behave yourself?" the not sandy blonde asked. Zexion sniffled hard and sat back on the chamber floor, again, ignoring the moisture soaking through to his skin. He wiped at his eyes a bit.

"I did. Mostly," the Charge said quietly.

"Mostly…?" Demyx trailed, giving Zexion a suspicious look. "How many did you take?"

"About twelve, but over the course of several days. But it was only after your samples had degraded and I had nothing else to do but sit around and wallow. Are…are you upset?" Zexion asked, a bit worried. Demyx smiled and shook his head. He reached his undamaged hand up to push his Charge's hair out of his eyes gently.

"I think I would have a hard time sleeping if I was in your situation, too. I want you to toss the rest of the pills out though. I don't plan on leaving you again for so long. Hopefully I don't have a reason to anymore. Have you heard anything from Mary and Xigbar?"

"We can handle that in a minute. There's a lot of stuff we need to do first," Zexion said and wiped the rest of his face dry. Demyx nodded his agreement. He wasn't feeling one hundred percent just yet and he needed to know just how much he could do. Zexion pulled himself up and bent to assist Demyx to his feet as well. The Carrier trailed the blanket after himself for the first few feet out of the cylinder but the shivers were quick to set in and he wrapped himself up in the fabric tightly as he took a seat. Zexion moved around him, purposefully avoiding too much contact. He wanted desperately to wrap himself around the Carrier and get lost in their own little world together, but if he allowed himself to falter too much, there could be serious repercussions. Demyx's health came first.

Pulling the end of a stethoscope up to his mouth, Zexion attempted to breathe on it a bit to warm it up. When that didn't work so well, he held it against his palm and used his free hand to peel away Demyx's bandages that covered his ribcage. The incision had healed nicely, leaving a relatively light, if long, scar in is place. The Carrier let out a small pout when he saw the mark but Zexion was just happy it had healed properly. He could let himself get upset later. He pressed the stethoscope's diaphragm to the not-sandy-blonde's ribcage gently and listened. Demyx fought the urge to giggle when the cold metal touched his skin. The Carrier's breathing was a bit wheezy, but stable. Demyx didn't seem to be having any difficulty with it, even if things were sore.

Moving on, Zexion undressed, checked, and redressed Demyx's hand for him. Only his index finger, thumb, and pinky were left to be used. Once again, the Carrier pouted but Zexion ignored it. While Zexion cleaned up and went about procuring him some pain medication from the medical supply shed, Demyx took a few minutes to reset his hair and eye color, as well as his style. His Charge returned with clothing for him and the liquid pain killers. Demyx obediently got dressed and followed Zexion through the halls to his bedroom. It was extremely early, he found, and hardly anyone was awake. That was alright though. He didn't necessarily want anyone stopping them from their journey to alone time.

Zexion forced Demyx into the bed and tucked him in comfortably. He left the sandy blonde there for a few minutes while he went to measure out a bit of pain medication and get the Carrier a glass of water. He brought it back and Demyx drank it all down before holding out his arms expectantly. Zexion hesitated before crawling in the bed with him. He couldn't lie on the Carrier like he normally would have so they switched things around. Demyx placed himself in between Zexion's legs and hugged his waist carefully, keeping his damaged hand out of harms way. He snuggled his face into his Charge's abdomen and let out a sigh.

"I would rip your clothing off and have my way with you but I'm not sure I can do that just yet," Demyx huffed. Zexion smiled and combed his fingers through the sandy strands a few times.

"It's alright. I don't think you should do that much, either. I'm just happy you're here again. The rest can wait," Zexion said. Demyx smiled and gave his waist an extra squeeze.

"Will you tell me what Mary and Xigbar had to say now?"

"A lot has happened. Even outside of that."

"Well, I have time."

"If you can stay awake."

"I can."

"Alright. I'll start from the beginning then," Zexion said with a sigh.

* * *

Roxas and Axel were at a crossroads. A figurative one, not a literal one. They had neglected the remainder of Ventus' physical because of their personal issues and really, it just came down to them not wanting the other to watch Ventus masturbate. An understandable situation in an exclusive relationship, if one was to think about it. It took them a while, but they eventually came up with a solution: bring in an outside third party. They didn't even bother to ask any of their friends to do it for them, because that would just be far too awkward and they couldn't imagine anyone actually agreeing to it. So, they solicited the help of a Technician who was willing to take some time out of his day to come and sit. They only had a name, and knew that he was one of Ansem's subordinates, but it was enough.

The Technician came by on the promised day a bit after lunchtime. He was tall, broad shouldered and far too muscular to be a Technician in Roxas' mind. Technicians had become synonymous with the word 'nerd' for him over the years. Science and math oriented people with little to no social skills with a relatively small body mass (See also: Roxas). This particular Technician was none of those things, however. Sure, he seemed professional enough but his strange chocolate colored hair style of a Mohawked sideways half-mullet that reminded Roxas of something one would get if they mashed Leon and Demyx's hair together, gave him an air of casualty. His sapphire eyes were kind and his smile genuine, which was a bonus. He seemed to enjoy his work enough to not need an air of arrogance and superiority around himself, and Roxas attributed that to him coming from Ansem's tutelage.

"Ventus, this is Terra. Terra, this is Ventus," Roxas introduced when he and the Technician entered the lab. Ventus was busy working on something in his Chemistry book with his brows furrowed and a stylus clenched in his teeth in thought. He took a brief second to finish what he was reading, glanced up at the pair at the doors, gave a nod in recognition, and went back to his book. Barely a second after that, he looked at Terra again suddenly, and his mouth opened a bit, dropping the stylus onto his lap. Roxas raised a brow. He had never seen Ventus flat out gawk at someone before. It was very strange.

"Uh…" Ventus trailed, looking Terra over. The Technician gave him a polite smile and a small wave.

"Good afternoon," Terra said calmly.

"Ok _aaaay_ ," Roxas trailed, looking between them a few times. Axel emerged from the storage closet in the back of the lab with a box in his hands. He crossed the room, giving Terra a wave and a smile before stuffing the box in the cabinet in the front of the lab. The Carrier went to his Charge and took his hand. Roxas looked to Terra. "Ventus knows where everything is that you might need. My tablet is on the Catalogue terminal and… yeah. I don't know what else."

"I'm sure I can handle it," Terra said with a light chuckle.

"Well, I appreciate it. Take your time," Roxas said. He shook the Technician's hand before leaving the lab with Axel. Terra looked to Ventus with a small smile.

"I can see where this stage of the game would be a problem for them. The similarities are uncanny," the Technician admitted, looking Ventus over and giving him a mental comparison to Roxas. Ventus swallowed thickly and fought the urge to fidget under his gaze. Not that it was particularly piercing or anything, but he had never felt so nervous about meeting someone new in a very long time. Especially not one he knew he was immediately attracted to. He felt like he was in high school again.

"Y-yeah. They're close and stuff," Ventus blurted, instantly feeling like a blithering idiot. He didn't understand what his problem was. It took him a few moments to gain a bit of comprehension. For the last several years, people came to him for not much outside of sex. It was easy to initiate first contact with others by himself, but when people made the first move on a nonsexual basis, it was a bit odd for him. It had been a while since he needed to censor himself because really, his clients didn't mind a little bit of obvious skank talk. It was expected. But in this situation, Ventus was a little lost. The things they would be doing together and the things Terra would see of him, seemed like something he would do with a client, but the intentions were purely professional and almost business like. What he really wanted to say to Terra was something along the lines of 'they're so wrapped up in each other's asses they can't handle a bit of man cream between friends' but that didn't sound like something one would bring to a job interview.

"So where do you want me?" Terra asked.

 _Naked, in my bed. This one doesn't squeak, I promise_ , Ventus thought. "Wherever, I guess. I… you're really not bothered by this?" he asked openly. Terra gave a little shrug before crossing the lab and picking up Roxas' tablet and finding a chair.

"I've done this before. It's part of my job," the Technician said.

"With Charges?"

"With Carriers."

"Oh."

"Which, outwardly, it's the same thing. Only the men need to have this procedure. For women, unfortunately, it isn't as dire that they be able to orgasm so long as their ovaries are functioning well enough."

"Aw, now that's not cool. I mean, I'm not happy that I have to do this but they should at least make sure the ladies can have fun too," Ventus said and started to close up his books and stack them on the end of the exam table. Terra laughed and it sent chills up the blonde's spine. Ventus' mind was flooded with sudden fantasies of what that voice would sound like doing more labor intensive things.

"I agree. But, I haven't worked my way up the ladder high enough to make much of a difference," Terra said simply. Ventus had the urge to ask him if he would jump on the opportunity to watch women masturbate all day versus a bunch of men. It was a loaded question, he knew, but an essential one. The blonde was slowly beginning to wonder if he could somehow goad the Technician in for a one night stand, or… a series of one night stands. He felt a little guilty to be reduced to such a mindset and so quickly. He was technically taken by Axel and Roxas' Carrier but he couldn't deny his loneliness. Even if there was a button to heat the mattress, his bed still felt so cold. All of his wondering and random desires would be a moot point if Terra played the straight field though, so he needed to know.

"I…god. I feel like an idiot," Ventus admitted abruptly with a small cynical smile aimed mostly at himself. He ran his fingers through his hair a bit and let out a long breath.

"Did you need something? What do you need me to do?"

"Whoa, don't ask me that," the blonde laughed. Terra let the insinuation sink in a bit and he laughed a bit.

"Well I need you to feel reasonably comfortable otherwise we won't get very far. With Carriers, we just hook them up to the Catalogue and force them to react if they can't do it willingly. I can't do that with you so I need another outlet. If there's something I can do for you, I will. Did you need me to turn away?" Terra said.

"I thought the point was to watch?"

"Yes but if one minute there's nothing and then a bit later there's something, my brain can piece together what happened and I can give you a positive report. If you're really bothered by this, I'm not heartless enough to force you. I've been seen here doing my job so it's enough to fabricate a story if I have to."

"Oh. Well no, it's not really what we're doing that bothers me. It's…" Ventus trailed and laughed again. "There's no delicate way to put it. It bothers me that you'd just come here, watch me jerk off and we'd never see each other again," he lied. It was more of a half-lie. It didn't bother him that Terra would leave and that would be it. He was more disappointed to see him go without seeing him naked first.

"…Are you saying we should've done some preliminary dating before we took our relationship to this level?" Terra laughed. Ventus laughed right along with him. The statement would've sounded completely serious had Terra been able to keep his chuckles to himself but the random spout of humor was unexpected. Refreshing, but unexpected.

"Ah, well. Maybe. Seems to be a bit of a waste, you know? Come in, get naked, beat off, say goodbye. If I had met you under different circumstances, I would've totally tried to get more out of you."

"Is that why you were staring at me like a starving man in front of a buffet?" the brunette asked. Ventus blinked a few times before he did something he hadn't done in _years_. He blushed. He let out a nervous laugh.

"You caught that, did you?" the blonde asked.

"I did."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm flattered."

"Yeah well it's still a bit creepy. I met you fifteen minutes ago. The transition was a bit fast, wasn't it?"

"It was, I agree. I'm not upset though. This is the first time I've been in this situation. Normally it's me coming after someone else. The change is quite nice."

"Well can you blame me? I go from complete societal freedom to this place and seeing the same people every damn day. I can't touch any of them without serious consequences and seeing someone new who could possibly be someone I can interact with the way I want to who's pretty fucking hot; well… needless to say I'm interested."

"You don't beat around the bush, do you?"

"Not in these sorts of situations. I don't speak the language well enough to know what I really want to say and put it in a way that doesn't make me sound like a backed up gutter skank," Ventus said with a shrug. Terra laughed again.

"I'll have to admit this is a first. I've never been to one of these procedures and have had any other thoughts other than getting it done and leaving as quickly as I can."

"Glad I could make you think?" Ventus guessed and pulled himself up to sit on the exam table. "Sorry that was so abrupt. I can understand if you're a little creeped out by me. I don't know how much you know about me, but my previous lifestyle was way more bedroom active if you catch my meaning. It all suddenly stopped when I came here and there are times where I miss it just for my own self satisfaction."

"Ah. Living the life of a monk isn't in your favor, is it?"

"There's more to it than a simple 'yes' or 'no.' I like it here because I can do what I've always wanted to do, but unless I focus on that alone I find myself going a bit stir crazy," the blonde said and started to unbuckle his belt. Terra gave him a few nods in comprehension and he looked down at Roxas' tablet, scrolling up to read what the younger blonde had on Ventus already. Everything for the most part was filled out adequately. The Technician took a moment to look over Ventus' employment history, and his health report. He put two and two together quickly.

"Well, I can understand what you're getting at a bit more once I look over your employment history," Terra said. Ventus let out a groan and held his face in one hand.

"Ugh, _everything_ is on there? It makes me look awful. Stop reading it," the blonde said and kicked off his shoes.

"It does. I agree. But from what you're telling me, it's a bit more understandable."

"Yeah well…" Ventus trailed and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. Terra chuckled a bit, and the sound pulled the blonde's attention to him again. The Technician was giving him a kind smile and Ventus fought the urge to blush again but failed miserably.

"I wouldn't pay you," Terra said simply. Ventus pushed his brows together as he attempted to understand what that statement implied.

"Was that a 'yeah let's go but I'm not going to pay you' or a 'you're disgusting and I would never pay you for sex?'" he asked.

"Which would you prefer it to be?"

"The first one," Ventus said quickly, his throat suddenly dry.

"Alright then."

"Wh—you're serious?"

"Sure."

"…Really?"

"It gets the work done and helps us both. Why not?"

"Just like that?"

"Are you telling me you've never had an encounter where strangers agree to have sex with you? If that's the case we should probably change your employment history around a bit," Terra said casually and looked down at the tablet again.

"Well it's not that. I just didn't think you'd be game."

"Why not?"

"Well… I don't know. You're a Technician?" Ventus guessed.

"I am also human. It happens."

"You're aware that I'm sick, right? I'm okay to move forward but if that's an issue for you…"

"I'll be fine."

"You say that now—"

"Ventus, I've been a Technician for a very long time; centuries. I'm not ignorant to what could happen but I also have the money to help myself as arrogant as that may sound."

"Holy shit. Maybe you _should_ pay me. Then maybe I could like… not be sick," Ventus snorted. Terra laughed.

"Well if you're working to become a Charge, they're going to help you eventually, right?"

"Yeah but sooner is always better than later."

"Ah. That's true. Unfortunately I'm not _that_ personally wealthy. I could really only help one of us at a time, even with my health insurance."

"That's alright. I wasn't serious."

"Good, because I'm still not going to pay you."

"That's cool," Ventus said with a grin. "Hope you like piercings."

* * *

"You can't be serious."

"Sure I am, hang on. Give me the towel."

"This isn't going to work."

"You won't even let me try?"

"Roxas, there are physics behind this. I'm six foot four, and I weigh one hundred and eighty-five pounds. You're five foot three and probably weight about….what? One ten? Dripping wet?" Axel asked skeptically.

"One fifteen, thanks. Asshole," Roxas spat with a glower.

"Hey, you are what you are but it doesn't change the fact that you're going to hurt yourself if you do this. Seventy pounds of weight difference is a lot if you don't lift weights regularly."

"Shut up. Come here."

"So persistent."

"Well, I want to try. If your fat ass breaks my back, then I won't do it again."

"'M not fat…" Axel huffed with his brows pushed together. He looked down at his abdomen and pinched a piece of skin for emphasis. Roxas snorted.

"You're the one who pointed out how much heavier than me you are, I don't want to hear it. Now come here."

Axel sighed and rolled his eyes before approaching Roxas who, like himself, was fresh out of the shower. Ventus' physical and momentary distraction allowed them to steal away from quick romp and subsequently, a shower together. Previously they had been making idle chit chat about nothing in particular but the conversation eventually drifted towards Sora being able to lift Riku. Now, Sora and Riku weren't that much different in size; Riku being only a few inches taller. But Roxas, after so long of having himself convinced that he couldn't lift Axel, wanted to try and see if he could. There wasn't any real reason other than to sate his curiosity because he knew that even if he could get the redhead off the ground a few inches, he wouldn't be able to hold him very long.

"You're sure?" Axel questioned. "Don't hurt me."

"Don't be a wimp," Roxas said. The Carrier snorted. Axel draped his wrists over Roxas' shoulders limply and let the blonde go about it however he wanted to.

"Don't smash my nuts, either," the redhead warned. He couldn't deny that the fact that they were both naked seemed to be a bit of hindrance. There wouldn't be any clothing in between them to make the transition any easier once everything was squashed together. Roxas only laughed at him in response, which made him a bit nervous. The blonde hugged the Carrier around the waist and bent at the knees a bit to use his legs to lift. After a grunt and shove upwards he managed to lift Axel about four inches off the ground and hold him. The redhead abruptly clung to him out of surprise. He hadn't expected to actually get anywhere and the sudden shift in weight threw Roxas off balance and they both were sent backwards onto the bed with an audible ' _whump_.' In reflex, the blonde had closed his eyes but when he opened them again he was presented with an extreme close up of Axel's genitals.

"Well that's not what I was expecting," the Charge admitted. Axel laughed.

"I know. I bounced, sorry," he said and looked down the line of his body to Roxas. "I could teabag you and ruin the experience."

"You do that, and you won't have any nuts after," the blonde huffed and started to scoot down and out from underneath his Carrier. Axel rolled over onto his back.

"Well I'm glad you didn't fall forward. If I had landed on my ass, I think I would be in tears."

"Sorry? You told me 'harder.' It's your own fault."

"I did. But I never would've had I intended on falling on my ass afterwards. But I'm surprised you got any lift at all. You're alright?"

"I'm fine," Roxas said and waved a dismissive hand.

"Good. Do you think Ventus and Terra are done?"

"We could always go by the lab and see if the curtains are closed."

"Sure," Axel agreed and scooted off the bed gingerly. They found clothing quickly and headed out into the hall, hand in hand. The journey to the lab was quiet. When they arrived though, the curtains weren't drawn and the lab was empty. They were both thoroughly confused. Roxas' tablet was gone though so Terra hadn't left yet, otherwise it would've stayed behind.

"Where do you think they went?" Roxas asked, hoping he didn't already know the answer. He had a sneaking suspicion of what Ventus and Terra could be doing together but he wasn't sure. Axel shrugged some.

"I can't imagine they went outside to do this. You…you don't think they went into his bedroom, do you?"

"…I would like to think they didn't," Roxas said flatly. They both thought about it for a few minutes before they both had the same idea and headed out of the lab again towards Ventus' bedroom.

"Are you going to be upset if they're having sex?" the redhead asked. The blonde furrowed his brows together. "Because there isn't anyone to be jealous of or to betray in the scenario. You don't know Terra and you don't like Ventus. So if they're going at it, you have no excuse to be angry."

"Except that Ventus should be thinking about his future Carrier?" Roxas guessed.

"Were you thinking of me when you lost your virginity with your girlfriends? How is this any different?" Axel asked. "Carriers understand that Charges have lives before they came together. I don't think the bean would be all that upset if she found out what happened while she was still a fetus."

"I wonder if Terra knows about Ventus' HIV."

"I'm sure he's not that ignorant. He had Ventus' profile in your tablet."

"It still bothers me," the blonde huffed.

"I know. It bothers me too."

"What? Why did you make it sound like I would be in the wrong for being upset then?"

"Because you're the only one who would act on it," Axel said and grinned. Roxas opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. It was true. The Carrier chuckled when the blonde pouted again and leaned down to plant a kiss on his temple.

The door to Ventus' room was closed, as it usually was, and there were no outward signs of anything strange going on. Zexion passed by them abruptly with a tray of meat hunks and a tray of regular food though. They waved at him and he nodded in return before continuing on quietly. Axel and Roxas exchanged a look with one another and they both made a mental note to visit Demyx later, but there were more pertinent things to handle. They both chose a piece of door to lay their faces against and listen to. It was obvious there was a lot of movement happening in the room beyond from the sounds of fabric rustling around everywhere, but it wasn't until Ventus let out a loud and unabashed moan that sealed the deal for them. They pulled away quickly with matching scowls.

"If I had had his ability to seduce people while I was in high school, I think I would've been a much happier teenager," Roxas said flatly.

"Oh yeah? You think so?" Axel asked. Roxas nodded a bit and sucked in a breath before letting it out slowly.

"Well…I'm not happy. But I can't do a whole lot about it without sounding like a complete jackass."

"That's very true. Want to go outside?"

"Sure," the blonde agreed.

When they emerged outside by the pool, Sora, Riku, and Cloud were there already. Sora and Riku had claimed the magnolia tree. Riku, in his Primal form, had draped himself along a branch and was letting his limbs and huge fluffy tail dangle in the breeze. Sora was propped up against the tree's trunk on a separate branch, seemingly asleep. Roxas was unsure of the stability of such a sleeping arrangement, but it was his brother's fault for falling if he did. Cloud, looked annoyed. The only reason Axel and Roxas could say he was there was because the top of his head poked out of the expanse of tall grasses that took up one side of the area. The taller blonde was rooting around in the blades for whatever reason.

"What are you _doing_?" Axel asked. Cloud turned to him with an annoyed scowl.

"I lost something in here," he said simply and went back to his search. Axel looked to Roxas and they both shrugged at one another before heading out into the area properly to mill about in the water and sniff the flowers.

Roxas looked up. The weather simulator couldn't actually be seen anymore. Its main purpose was to mimic the appearance of the sky, clouds, and weather conditions so the huge white cube was hidden behind the picture. It had the added bonus of actually creating the weather when it needed to, true to its name. Since it had been installed, it hadn't done anything outside of showing the sunshine with some clouds though, which was alright by Roxas. He knew it could create anything it wanted, and he was not looking forward to the first thunderstorm, whenever it was going to happen. The plants needed rain though, so it was a necessary evil. The machine made it hard to believe that they were still encased in a dome. It was still there, but the simulation had camouflaged it behind the sky perfectly. If one was to travel to the edges of the dome though, the wavy glass panels were easy to see and expanded upwards a few dozen feet until the image took over.

Roxas' peaceful pondering was shattered once Cloud let out a surprised yelp and his head disappeared into the tall grass. Axel looked to Roxas briefly before they both made their ways over to the disturbance. The smaller blonde was being pummeled by the blades as they fished through them and the redhead hoisted him up and settled him on his shoulders like a toddler. Roxas was about to protest when he realized he had a much better vantage point and guided Axel around to where the grasses were shaking around and being disturbed. They waded through until they found Cloud again, who had been tackled to the ground by a lion and was being rubbed on, much to his displeasure.

"Aw. Isn't that cute?" Axel cooed and snickered. The taller blonde sent him a nasty glare as his attempts to pull himself out from under Leon were thwarted when the lion lay on his legs, comfortably trapping him in his place. The redhead patted Roxas' legs in a sign to get down and the blonde slowly lowered himself to the ground again. Cloud attempted to shove Leon away with little success.

"Are you going to stand there and stare at me or help me?" Cloud growled.

"I don't see any immediate danger," Axel shrugged. "But if you're going to cry about it, I suppose I could help you," he added. Roxas raised a brow. He didn't know what Axel meant by that but the Carrier went to Leon anyway. He put one leg on either said of the cat and stooped down to wrap his arms under Leon's ribcage. The lion stopped his assault on his Charge once he felt Axel's arms but he didn't react fast enough before the redhead stood upright again, lifting the cat into the air. Roxas' jaw dropped.

"Holy fuck, Axel!" he yelped. Cloud skittered out from under them quickly and stood again and brushed the grass pieces off his clothing. The redhead teetered in his place a bit. Even if he was able to lift the cat, Leon was still much bigger than he was in their respective forms and the size difference made holding him a bit awkward. The lion himself wasn't much help and dangled limply as dead weight in Axel's arms. Once Cloud was sufficiently out of the way, he dropped the lion back onto the ground.

"Thanks," Cloud muttered, giving Leon an acidic glare. Axel shrugged.

"It's not every day he lets me do that. I was happy for the opportunity."

"I should've taken a picture," the taller blonde chuckled. Leon ignored them and headed back into the tall grasses for another preemptive strike on his Charge later. Roxas was busy gaping at Axel.

"I didn't know you could lift that much," he said. Again, Axel shrugged.

"I've never had the occasion to show you. I didn't know you were interested."

"I didn't know I was either. How much can you lift?" Roxas asked.

"I'm not sure. I know I have a limit somewhere close to however much Leon weighs. It wasn't exactly stress free."

"Oh. That's awesome," Roxas said.

"Leon's about as strong as I am though. He can lift my Primal too."

"I remember that. That was funny," Cloud snorted. Axel nodded.

"I thought so too."

"Was Leon what you were looking for?" Roxas asked, looking to Cloud. The taller blonde nodded.

"He insisted I try and find him and then he jumped me out of nowhere. Bastard. It was a trap and I knew it once I went in to look for him but I stupidly did it anyway."

"Hide-and-seek doesn't sound like something Leon would randomly bring up," Roxas remarked and pushed his brows together.

"He's been like this ever since the plants came in. He's a total hippie," the taller blonde snorted. Axel laughed.

"Tree hugging hippie or 'give peace a chance' hippie?" the redhead asked.

"Probably a mix of both but more tree hugging than the other."

"Really?" Roxas questioned. Cloud scowled and nodded.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Not a fan?" Axel asked. Cloud shrugged.

"It's one of the few things that carried over from my previous life that I would've liked to have left behind. The dislike of people like him was something that was engrained into my head for years and it's been difficult to look past it on a few occasions. It's also one of the few things that I will admit is my problem."

"How very grown up," the redhead chuckled.

"Fuck off."

"Ah. Never mind."

"I'm sort of with you on this one though. I'm not sure how happy I would be if I was playing hide-and-seek with a lion and got ambushed," Roxas said.

"See? Roxas understands my plight," Cloud said. Axel laughed.

"I take it you don't want to play hide-and-seek with me, then?" he asked, looking to his Charge. Roxas shook his head.

"No thanks. I'll pass. You'd crush me."


	75. Chapter 75

**Chapter 75**

"Sora, we're friends, right?" Ventus asked sweetly, leaning across the lab table in the brunette and Riku's lab to give his friend a wide smile. Sora quirked a brow at him.

"It depends on what you want, but yeah. We are," the brunette said carefully.

"You know me so well," Ventus chuckled and grinned. "I need a favor."

"Uhm… again, it depends on what you want."

"I need something out of the medical supply shed and I don't have a Carrier or a registered thumb print. Do you think you could help a buddy out?"

"…What do you need from there?" Sora asked, immediately suspicious. If Ventus needed something that looked bad, such as a plethora of pain killers to get high off of, it would be the brunette's ass on the line when the Technicians came with questions.

"Condoms," Ventus said simply. Sora blinked a few times.

"Oh. That's it?"

"Yep."

"Yeah, I can do that," Sora agreed and pushed himself out of his seat. Ventus grinned.

"You're sweet, thanks," the blonde said and followed Sora out of the lab and down the hall.

"Can I ask who you conned into sleeping with you?" the Charge asked with a light snicker. Ventus gasped.

"Sora! You really think I need to _con_ someone to spend the night with me? I'm hurt. Truly," the blonde said and heaved a dramatic sniffle.

"Well I'm just curious. It can't be Axel or Roxas."

"What makes you so certain?"

"Because Roxas would be acting strangely if you had. They've been all over each other lately so I can only assume nothing new and interesting has happened."

"Ah. I can see your point. Very observant. No, it isn't Axel or Roxas. Though I have always been overly curious to test out the whole 'go fuck yourself' insult. If Roxas suddenly came to me begging for sex I'd totally try it out just so I could say to people who tell me to 'fuck myself' that I have already. That'd throw them for a loop. I'd pay to see the expression."

"Ew, dude. That's my brother."

"And a very sexy one he is I'll admit," Ventus said and cupped his face in his hands and batted his eyelashes at Sora. The brunette snorted before starting to laugh.

"You're a nut. Do you realize how trippy it is to see you, and mistake you for Roxas at first glace? Sometimes it takes me second to remember that he doesn't have any piercings and the initial interaction weirds me out."

"I can only imagine," Ventus said. The field was unoccupied as they crossed the grass together to the medical supply shed. Sora typed in Riku's model number and scanned his thumb to allow them entry and they stepped inside.

"You know, I've always wondered why they kept condoms in here. They're not exactly _medical_ in a way, you know?" Sora said. Ventus shrugged.

"Well they're used often enough. Can't have a bunch of knocked up girlies running around with human babies, you know?" the blonde said as he strolled around the little building, looking for the boxes of prophylactics.

"True, but you'd think they'd make the guy Charges go out and buy them themselves. I mean… Maybe a third of the Carrier/Charge couples are heterosexual. A lot of them are guy-guy and girl-girl couples. Riku says it's because a lot of times they start out as friends and end up crossing over together as beginning lovers. And it's usually easier to make friends with people your own gender."

"Makes sense to me. Riku seems to know what he's talking about. He always talks so it makes sense," Ventus said as he looked over the wide selection of condoms the facility provided. He was a bit surprised to see so many kinds. Sora looked over his shoulder curiously. The brunette reached over and picked up a box and looked it over.

"You know, maybe you can answer this question," Sora said.

"I can try," Ventus agreed.

"Do 'ribbed for her pleasure' condoms really feel all that much better to the girls? I've heard they feel like cheese graters, but I've never been with a girl to figure it out," the brunette asked, turning the box over to read the other side. Ventus laughed.

"I haven't had anyone complain, but that doesn't mean they're all that great, either. Though, you'd think that if some woman was paying some guy to have sex with her that she'd want her money's worth. So if the condom is actually painful, you'd assume she'd complain and make him switch to another one."

"True."

"So you're really totally gay, huh? Never been with a girl?" Ventus asked, giving Sora a thoughtful once-over before turning his eyes back to the stack of condom boxes and selecting one. The brunette shrugged and set his box back where he got it.

"I have no idea. No, I've never been with a girl but I was never really given a chance before I came over here with Riku. Not for a lack of trying on my part, anyway. Friend zone and all that."

"Ah. I remember that bullshit. I eventually gave up girls as friends if I had any inkling of sleeping with them and just kept to female fuck-buddies until I graduated," Ventus said and waved a dismissive hand. They headed back towards the entrance and Sora took the condoms and scanned them so the door would open for them and they stepped back out into the field.

"I didn't even get a chance to get that far. I don't go around thinking 'oh he's cute' or anything so I don't _feel_ like I'm totally gay but I've never been with any other guys either to say for sure," the brunette said.

"Wow. Riku's your first and last, hm?"

"Yeah…" Sora said. They stopped walking and stood around in the grass together. Ventus raised a brow.

"You don't seem all that excited about that," he said. Sora shrugged.

"Don't get me wrong, I like Riku and everything, but I can't help but feel it was a bit too soon for me to leave everything behind and become exclusively his. I mean… I'll be twenty soon but I came over when I was eighteen and hardly out of high school. I was in college for all of maybe two months and didn't get to live very much."

"You regret it?"

"No…" the brunette sighed and pushed his brows together. "I regret it to a point, I guess. If given the chance to go do my own thing for a couple years, I would. But I would come back in the end. I like it here and I like Riku but…I don't know. I feel like I missed a lot."

"Am I hearing you right? You only _like_ Riku? You don't feel some obnoxious amount of love for him like Roxas has for Axel?" Ventus asked, his face growing a bit more serious. Sora sighed a bit and nodded.

"Riku decided he loved me really quickly. I don't have a problem with it anymore but it bothers me that we've been together for so long and I can't say it back to him without feeling like I'm lying. I don't want to lie to him about something like that," Sora said.

"Well at least you know enough to not lie to him. That's got to be something. Have you tried talking to him about it? Does he know?"

"He's aware of it, yeah. I don't know how much he thinks about it but he seems happy enough, but I know he'd be even happier if I could say it and actually mean it. I tried talking to Roxas about it a few times but he's not very good with people and he didn't really help."

"Yeah, I can see where that would backfire pretty badly," Ventus snorted.

"It wasn't _horrible_ , it just wasn't what I needed," Sora laughed. Ventus smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Well… do you _want_ to love Riku? Or do you feel _obligated_ to?" the blonde asked. The brunette pushed his brows together again and thought about it for a minute.

"Maybe a little of both? I want to say I love him to make him happy. He's been through a lot in the past and I know how much it would mean to him to have someone permanent say it, but I'm still hesitant because of what I said before. I haven't had a chance to live very much and decide for myself what I really want. I mean… I have more freedom here than I did back home, as weird as that may sound. I can like… leave and get a coffee if I wanted to and not have people ridicule me because I'm not hiding in Roxas' shadow enough. I… I don't know what I want in the end, I guess. Having someone by my side all the time that would never bat an eyelash at anyone else sounds nice but for someone like me who wants to get out more and experience things, it's a bit stifling. I like him… I really do… and I don't want to hurt him…" Sora sighed and held his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, dude. I got way sidetracked and went all sappy and deep on you when all you wanted was a box of condoms," he said and laughed a bit.

"Hey, that's totally cool. I have no problem listening if you don't get what you need from someone else. You sound like it's been bottled up for a while," Ventus said and reached forward and took the brunette's hand. He tugged it a bit as he sat in the grass and Sora sat with him, giving him apologetic eyes. "Go ahead and say whatever you need. I'm here. I look like Roxas but I can guaran-damn-tee you I'm way better with people than he is."

"Thanks," Sora said and smiled.

* * *

There was a baby crying somewhere. Marluxia rubbed his eyes tiredly and Roxas had genuine pity for him. The rosy colored Carrier had called to ask about the changes to the dome that he and Axel had experienced with everyone, but apparently the few minutes of non-crying peace the Carrier thought he had were complete lies. The little baby, Juliet, was apparently having a bad bout of colic when everything Ansem had done was announced but Marluxia had stupidly thought that a few weeks of screaming was all he had to deal with. Apparently Juliet had other plans for him.

"I apologize," the Carrier sighed as the racket continued. Celia's voice chimed in with the infant's but with more of a soothing coo than an obnoxious wail. Neither female was in the background of Marluxia's screen, so Roxas could only assume they were both upstairs; which was even more disturbing because the volume sounded like they were standing next to the blonde in his own lab.

"No problem. You go handle it. I'll try to see what I can do about getting pictures up on the Charge forum," Roxas said.

"That would be lovely. Thank you Roxas. I'll talk to you again soon," Marluxia said and smiled a bit before ending the transmission and the cacophony of screaming stopped. Roxas let out a relieved breath.

"Have you ever heard of the 'brown noise?'" Axel asked abruptly. Roxas raised a brow and turned in his seat to look at the redhead. The Carrier was looking over the progress scans for the various gestational tanks.

"You mean the mythological noise that is supposed to make people shit themselves instantly when they hear it?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah. You know what would be really awful?"

"What's that?"

"If a baby crying like that was the brown noise."

"What the—how the fuck do you come up with this stuff?"

"I don't know. I can't even give you a precursory thought process to help understand where I was coming from. It just sort of happened," Axel laughed. Roxas rolled his eyes but smiled.

" _Any_ way, I'm thinking we should invest in a camera," the blonde said.

"Oh yeah? Because Marluxia wants pictures or just because?"

"Well, a little of both. I want one just to have one but I was thinking we could use it on our trip, too. I'm also one of the few people on the Charge forum that doesn't have a picture of me with my Carrier on there and I feel the peer pressure leaking in."

"How very mature. If your peers told you to smoke crack, would you do it?"

"Only if Marluxia was there to encourage me, too," Roxas said with complete seriousness. Axel had to stop what he was doing and look at the blonde before he could see that his Charge wore an enormous grin.

"Okay good. I was worried there for a second," the redhead laughed.

"I'm glad you have so much confidence in me. But I'm serious. I want a camera."

"Okay, well that would constitute leaving the facility."

"I'm aware of that."

"You'll be alright?"

"I was thinking of asking Sora and Riku to go with us. Safety in numbers and such. I don't know, maybe I should dye my hair or something first, too."

"That's a little _too_ paranoid. I think having additional people with us would be fine. Just in case something happens."

"Well…I'll think about it. Let me go ask Sora if he wants to come with first," Roxas said and pushed himself out of his chair and headed out of the lab. He went to Sora and Riku's lab to see if he was there. Only Riku was.

"Need something?" Riku asked, pulling his eyes away from the Extractor to look at the blonde.

"Where's Sora?" Roxas asked.

"Ventus came in and asked Sora if he could retrieve a box of condoms from the medical supply shed. Sora agreed and then they came back and said they were going to Sora's bedroom for a bit."

"…You do realize how awful and suspicious that sounds, right? Ventus asks for condoms and they're going to Sora's bedroom right after?"

"That's a very good point but I don't believe Sora is that easy," Riku chuckled.

"So you hope," Roxas said. Riku shrugged and returned to his work. The blonde left again.

When he was halfway to Sora's bedroom, he had to stop and listen. There was a pounding beat that echoed out of his brother's room and filtered into his ears. He couldn't help but feel a bit suspicious and proceeded with a skeptical brow and careful expression.

" _I'm feeling Yummy head to toe (you see me)  
Ain't got no patience so let's go (you see me)  
Look, I'm diet drama  
Wanna spend the night? Don't bring pajamas  
Man there's so much heat beneath these clothes (you see me)_

 _Walk in, the place  
They know, my face  
Encore, sophomore  
Only one solo, I swore  
Big mouth, applause  
Oh please, one more  
Wanna hear it before I say naw  
Let me check my itinerary  
Ummm, alright  
Presto, skintight  
Escaped & I risked my life  
For what? So I can watch them bite…_"

Roxas was horribly confused, for more than one reason. First of all, he recognized the song from his home plane. Second, what it was doing filtering out of Sora's room, he couldn't even guess. When he entered his brother's room he went straight for the tiny room where the brunette's Catalogue terminal was since, thankfully, the bed was empty. Sora's watch was hooked up to the internet and he and Ventus were dancing around stupidly together as the music filtered out of the machine.

"… _I know you've been waiting but I've been off making babies  
& like a chef making donuts & pastries  
It's time to make you sweat  
Sex & sugar is the flavor  
Ovens & beaters & graters  
Beats made of bongos & shakers  
It's time to make you sweat…_"

"Roxas?" Sora asked, which was more of a yell over the volume. He skittered over to the Catalogue terminal and paused the music. "What's up?" he asked. Ventus continued dancing though, doing a tiny shake of his hips in his place.

"Uhm…well several things. One, what is Gwen Stefani doing here?" Roxas asked confusedly. Sora shrugged.

"What do you mean?" Ventus asked with a raised brow.

"Gwen Stefani. She was a singer from our plane. What's she doing here?" the blonde repeated. Ventus blinked a few times.

"Really? That's weird. Let me check," the older blonde offered and started typing away at the Catalogue terminal. He did a quick internet search and there were suddenly hundreds of topics on the singer at his fingertips. He selected the first one and read a paragraph. "It says she was born in Anaheim, California. Wherever the fuck _that_ is. Uhmm…" Ventus trailed, reading further. "Apparently, about ten years ago, a former hairdresser of hers crossed over to the Centric Plane, here, to become a Charge and brought a lock of Gwen's hair with her. Ew."

"That's kind of creepy," Sora said, pushing his brows together. Ventus shrugged and continued on.

"Well apparently this hairdresser was such a super fan they eventually goaded someone into cloning Gwen from the hair and eventually she started her music career here," Ventus said.

"Why the _fuck_ would anyone want to clone Gwen Stefani? What a waste of resources. They could've at least picked someone with a little more talent," Roxas said with a scowl.

"I kind of like her…" Sora said quietly and shuffled a foot against the ground.

"I love me some Gwennie. I always thought she was born here though. Well… I mean… she kind of is but you get what I mean. I wonder how many other celebrities we have are clones," Ventus said and started typing again, putting in a search for the answers. He found a list and his jaw dropped. Roxas looked over his shoulder and started laughing at the enormous amount of entertainment personalities that had been stolen from his home plane.

"Again, why would anyone clone Adam Sandler?" the younger blonde asked. Ventus pouted.

"Everything I know is a lie!" he sniffled dramatically and draped his face on the Catalogue terminal's keyboard. "All of my favorite people are clones…" he added.

"You're not serious, are you?" Roxas asked. Ventus sat up quickly and shook his head.

"No. I'm not. I actually knew some of them were but I honestly didn't expect _that_ many. Damn," Ventus laughed and scrolled through the list.

"What did you need?" Sora asked, reverting the conversation back to its original purpose. Roxas looked to him.

"I want a camera for our trip and… well, because I want one. I was wondering if you and Riku would come with and help settle my paranoia a bit."

"Scared to leave the facility still?" the younger sibling questioned.

"Some. Not fear stricken but nervous, definitely."

"Oh. Well I don't have a problem going with you. I could always stand to get out."

"Alright," Roxas agreed. He looked to Ventus. "And why exactly did you need to pilfer a box of condoms from the medical supply shed?" he asked, giving the older blonde a suspicious once over. Ventus looked to him with a raised brow.

"How'd you figure that out?" he questioned.

"I don't think Riku knew it was a secret. Which furthers my suspicion."

"Are you telling me that I'm not allowed to have sex any more?"

"No, but I would like to know what kind of company you're keeping so I don't get shot at again."

"Terra," Ventus said and crossed his arms over his chest in a huff. "He's not paying me if that's what you're thinking. He just likes me enough to come back when he needs me."

"Please don't get attached and run off with him. That would put a serious damper on what we're working towards," Roxas sighed. Ventus waved a flippant hand.

"I don't plan on it. As far as I know, he doesn't have any sort of plan for marriage or anything but he does admit he doesn't get out as much as he would like. We're using each other for the same purpose and that's all it is. He knows what I'm working for and I know that even if I wanted to get more involved with him, I wouldn't be able to because he travels too much. But I don't. So I'm not."

"How long did he stay here last time that you were able to discuss so much?" Roxas asked with a raised brow.

"He stayed a _really_ long time and left before most everyone woke up. That's why I was late getting up the next day. But I already apologized for that," Ventus said and shrugged. "Aside from an awesome lay, he's really nice to talk to. It's just something different to break up the monotony."

"Just… be careful, alright?" Roxas asked with a low grumble. He wasn't thrilled with the situation but it could've been worse. At least with a Terra being a Technician, he wasn't someone who would be frowned upon just randomly showing up. Had Ventus gone out and found himself another random person to partner with, there would've been more issues. Plus, Ventus was right. Terra had to travel a lot, so the frequency of his visits would be bearable. Maybe once a week if Ventus was lucky.

"Yes Dad," Ventus said with a small smile. He stuffed his hand in his pocket and pulled out the box of condoms and wiggled it at Roxas. "I'm not stupid. We'll play safe."

"Fine," Roxas spat. He ground his teeth together a bit and let out a heavy sigh. "Do you have a preference?" he asked.

"A preference?" Ventus asked as he shoved the box back into his pocket.

"It occurred to me that Axel and I never even asked if you had a preference for gender when we offered to let you join our project. So, do you?"

"Aw, Roxas I'm touched. You do care about me," the older blonde teased. Sora let out a stifled snicker. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Just answer the damn question."

"No, I really don't. I'm satisfied with what you guys have given me already."

"Good. Fine. Fantastic," Roxas said and left quietly. Sora pushed his brows together confusedly. He and Ventus exchanged a look before the brunette left and followed after his brother. He caught up to him in the hallway.

"Hey…" Sora trailed. Roxas stopped walking and looked to him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," the blonde said quickly.

"Sure there is."

"Well… nothing that I can't chock up to me being an asshole. I'm not pleased he's taken to sleeping with Terra but it's not hurting anything so long as they play it safe and Terra doesn't have a problem with him. I can't stop it, even if it disgusts me. So, no, nothing's actually wrong. I just need to get over it," Roxas explained with an exasperated sigh. "Axel shared my opinion when we first figured out that they had slept together so I don't know if he would be happy with this either."

"I can see where you're coming from, but I'm glad you're trying to work past it without having a hissy fit over it," Sora giggled. Roxas shrugged.

"I'm trying. It's all I can do."

* * *

It had been four days since Demyx woke up. He and Zexion had spent the time together isolated away from everyone else in Demyx's room. The cuddling, the love, the support, and the relaxation helped the sandy blonde pick himself up enough so that by the fourth day, he was ready to get up and start handling what needed to be done. Everyone had visited here and there over the previous four days, but no one stayed very long. They hadn't talked to too many people otherwise.

"I want to go outside today, Zex," Demyx said with a smile, pulling his face up from Zexion's stomach and looking to his face. Zexion looked under his tablet to the Carrier with a raised brow.

"We can do that," Zexion agreed. Demyx grinned and tightened his hug around his Charge's waist and nuzzled his face back into his abdomen. Laying together with Zexion in various stages of undress was one of Demyx's favorite things. Zexion didn't mind it either because it gave him a chance to catch up on his reading. Most of the times the Charge was looking at his tablet, he was actually reading a book he had recently downloaded. Now wasn't an exception. He could just as easily pick up his reading where he left off under the artificial sunshine so long as Demyx was with him.

For the most part, Demyx was functional. He hadn't tried to run yet, or do other physically demanding things that required additional respiration, but he could do most everything he needed to by himself otherwise. Even with his damaged hand. The lungs and chest cavity were extremely important to a cheetah. The amount of exertion the animal needed to run as fast as it could, required an oversized ribcage to accommodate and protect a huge pair of lungs. Zexion had informed Demyx of how badly damaged the organs were when the Carrier went into surgery to fix them. The scar tissue alone was enough to hinder Demyx's capacity and he had to be extremely careful whenever he tried to run again. Going outside to lounge wasn't a problem, but being outside was associated with running and playing for Demyx, and Zexion was a bit leery of how he would react.

Demyx had only been told of the changes outside. His bedroom wasn't on the outside wall of the facility like Axel and Roxas' were. As a result, he didn't have windows. He did have a skylight however and he could see the clouds go by from his bed, which was nice for a while, but not as nice as lying on the grass and seeing it for himself. So, they dressed quickly and left the room together and headed outside. The obstacle course was one of Demyx's favorite places. He preferred the field or the track when he had plans for a run, but to lounge around and not do anything? The obstacle course was the place to be.

When they emerged outside, Demyx was speechless. He stood a few feet away from the door and stared at the massive overhaul the area had received. Not only where there new flowers, but there had been additional pieces of equipment to use. Sets of monkey bars, rope swings, new rocks to climb, new posts to scratch, a wooden tower with passages to crawl through and outcroppings to lay on, had all appeared in the time he had spent asleep and the sudden urge to change and use it all made his chest hurt. The fact that he couldn't, made it hurt even worse. Zexion took his hand and pulled his attention out of its euphoric wandering. His Charge gave him a small smile in reassurance and Demyx gave him a wobbly one in return. Zexion could see the anxiousness ghost through the Carrier's eyes; the need to get up and be active.

"This is…um…this is really great," Demyx said, looking back over the landscape. He laughed a bit.

"It is. Where did you want to sit?" Zexion asked. Demyx looked around for something nearby that was relatively close to the ground they could sit on. There wasn't much that he wouldn't need two hands to pull himself up on, so he led Zexion over to a tree and took a seat under it. His Charge sat with him and they settled together in the grass; Demyx gently laying himself on Zexion's stomach and looking up at the simulated sky and watching the clouds go by. They shared a quiet few minutes together, Zexion attempting to pick up his reading where he left off, before Demyx's thoughts started to wander.

"I'm angry," the Carrier said simply. Zexion raised a brow and looked to him.

"About something specific?"

"I'm angry at Xigbar."

"I am too, that's expected."

"I…I'm not sure I want to be connected to him."

"What do you mean?"

"If Mary… keeps the baby… she and I would be connected whether she's an active part of my life or not. I can't help but think Xigbar… wouldn't just leave us alone. I… may never be able to run as much as I like to again because of him and I don't know if I can forgive him," Demyx said quietly, pulling his hand up to pick at a piece of bandage.

"I feel the same way, honestly," Zexion said and ran his fingers through Demyx's hair. They had already discussed the main things that had transpired between Mary and Zexion while Demyx was in recovery but no major conclusions had been made. The Carrier needed time to think.

"Wh—do you think she should keep it?" the sandy blonde asked.

"If she can stay away once she delivers and we immerse it into a gestational tank for our project, I don't have a problem with it. But if she's going to shove herself into our lives because of this child then I'm afraid my opinions are much less favorable," Zexion said finitely.

"I feel so selfish," Demyx sighed.

"At this point I feel as though she should've just had the child in secrecy and kept us out of it if she had planned on keeping it the entire time. The circumstances are just awful and I'd rather not have a constant reminder that is in no way helpful to us in the long run."

"I know… I agree with you… but… it's a baby, Zex," Demyx said and sniffled a bit. He looked up to his Charge with glassy eyes. Zexion's heart twisted.

"Don't cry, Dem. Please…" Zexion asked, his brows pushing together worriedly as a cascade of tears streamed out of Demyx's eyes. The Carrier pushed himself up gently and nestled himself under the Charge's chin. Zexion tossed his tablet aside and hugged the sandy blonde close, laying his cheek against his hair.

"I don't want babies with Mary," Demyx rasped out between sobs. Zexion didn't say anything but rubbed his back reassuringly. Demyx eventually pulled himself together enough and sat up some to look into his Charge's face.

"I don't know what to say. I don't want you to have babies with her either. But you both need to come to a decision together. I don't have much of a say. You know my opinion and it seems yours is the same so I'm sure you'll be able to make the right decision for us both. Alright?" Zexion asked, reaching forward to wipe the tears from Demyx's face. The Carrier nodded and sniffled again.

"I don't want to be outside anymore…" Demyx sighed. Zexion nodded and pushed himself up to give the Carrier a kiss on the cheek. Demyx sat upright and allowed his Charge to stand and help pull him to his feet. Zexion grabbed his tablet again and they headed in together.

* * *

Zexion was asleep. It was a little after nine o'clock and they had spent the remainder of their day in bed together. Demyx had taken a nap earlier so he was wide awake. He watched his Charge sleep for a while before he decided he needed to do something useful. He knew his samples had all degraded and they needed to replenish, but he wasn't really in the mood to take care of things himself. So the other option was to settle things with Mary. He made sure Zexion was tucked in snugly before heading into the little room that contained the Catalogue terminal and pulling the door behind himself quietly. He let out a hiss when the cold metal of the chair pressed into his shirtless back, but after a few minutes of sitting, he didn't notice anymore. He plugged in his Link and sent a call through to Mary. He was surprised to find there was an extension that led outside the canine facility and he decided to try that one since the only other option was their lab.

"What the fuck do _you_ want? Haven't you ruined our lives enough?" Xigbar spat when he answered the call. Demyx blinked a few times. Not only was the background one of a normal home in the city, he had really expected Mary to answer. There were large stacks of boxes behind Xigbar's annoyed face and it was obvious their accommodations were new. Demyx hesitated.

"I uh… wanted to talk to Mary," the sandy blonde said as evenly as he could. The underlying anger and anxiety he felt prickled his skin, but so long as Xigbar was on the screen and not in his presence, he could deal with it easily enough.

"Fuck you. As if I'd let you talk to her."

"Xigbar, please. We have things we need to talk about."

"We already talked enough with your Charge. The plans are set, we're done. See you in six months," Xigbar growled and reached forward to end the transmission.

"No! Wait!" Demyx barked, sending the other Carrier a glare. "You almost killed me, don't you think that warrants a bit of common courtesy?"

"A life for a life is a fair trade in my eyes. You ruined mine, why shouldn't I take yours?" the canine sneered.

"I can't change what happened but none of it was on purpose. Don't get me wrong, Mary's a nice person and everything but I don't even like women like that. Why would you think I would go out of my way to touch her if I wasn't even attracted to her?"

"The reasoning behind it doesn't matter to me. It still happened. She's having your child before she has mine and that's enough for me to want you in the ground rotting, regardless of circumstance. You should be grateful I love her enough to go with what she wants. I wanted to keep it for our own project and not let you have any part in its life."

"That's what I want to talk to her about! I don't want her to have it at all," Demyx said with a crestfallen expression. Xigbar's expression flashed between shock and anger so quickly the sandy blonde thought he was going to try and leap through the screen and try to wring his neck right there.

"So you want her to murder it now? We were going forward with the idea that it was going to live, we were starting to adjust. All of a sudden it's changing and you just expect us to accept it and move on because you got a stick up your ass? No fucking way. Death isn't an option. Not when I'm involved."

"So it's alright to kill me, but not prevent years and years of pain you'd put Mary though?"

"You say she'd be in pain and she probably will, but she'd be worse off if she had that sort of blood on her hands."

"I'm not having this discussion with you. I need to talk to Mary," Demyx said sternly.

"Too bad. Being a rapist and getting rewarded with a child isn't enough for you? You want to add 'murderer' to your list as well? Fucking sick bastard. You're lucky I can't come up there and try again."

"I'm not a rapist! You're the only one who thinks so! Mary even said she doesn't blame me! Please! Just let me talk to her!" Demyx cried, tears stinging the backs of his eyes.

"Why should I? She's already distanced herself from me enough as it is with the trauma you put her through. I can't even touch her without her flinching away and bring you up again. You're all she thinks about!"

"And nothing is going to change if we don't settle this! She needs closure! Having my child when I don't even want her to isn't going to help her cope any! I wanted children with Zexion and Zexion only! I've never had even the slightest inkling to betray him and have them with someone else. Why can't you get it through your fat head that I never wanted any of this and just want it all to go away?" Demyx rasped as the tears leaked out of his eyes.

"It's never going to go away. What you did to her was unspeakable and I'll never forgive you for it. Compounding the pain with murder isn't going to help her any and you're an idiot for thinking it will."

"Xiggy?" came a timid voice in the distance. Demyx wiped at his face and tried to take in shallow breaths to calm himself. Xigbar pulled his attention away from the screen to turn and see Mary coming around the corner into the bedroom with a worried expression. She looked at the screen. "Demyx?" she asked.

"Mary, I have to talk to you but Xigb—" the sandy blonde tried.

"He doesn't have anything useful to say," Xigbar interrupted.

"Well I would like to talk to him first before you make that decision for me," Mary said, sending her Carrier a light glare. They held a silent staring contest for a moment before Xigbar let out an angry huff and pushed himself out of his chair. His leg was still in a cast and he hobbled away and flopped himself onto the bed that was a short distance away. He couldn't go very far even if he wanted to because his Link was what was keeping the call open. Mary took his seat and plugged in her watch so he could unplug himself and roll farther away from them.

"Hi," Demyx said sadly and sniffled.

"Hi Demyx," Mary said and gave him a wavering smile. "Are you feeling better?"

"Mostly, yeah. I'm not all the way better but I'm okay," the sandy blonde lied. He didn't feel 'okay' anymore. "I um…I know you guys talked to Zexion while I was asleep and he said some stuff, and for the most part, I agree with him. It would be really cool if we could use the baby for our project but… I think I have a problem with that."

"Oh?" she asked, her expression turning guarded.

"I…I don't think I want you to have the baby. At all."

"What? Why?"

"Because I want everything Zexion and I do together to be exclusively ours. If I bring in something that connects you and me together, then that's not okay. You know I never meant to have any of this to happen and if I could turn back time and prevent it, I would…but…I can't. I think it's best if we just… erase everything that connects us and move on with our separate lives," Demyx said quietly, keeping a cautious eye on the girl. Mary pushed her brows together as she thought about it.

"Wh—I don't know if I can do that. I don't agree with your reasoning. If you don't want the child, then Xigbar and I can do with it as we please. Which would mean another Carrier for our own project. If that's the case then I need you to come to our lab so I can see if you're compatible enough with him for Carrier production," Mary said.

"No. I can't deal with someone else having my child," Demyx said flatly, sitting a bit straighter.

"…Zexion can't have children, Demyx."

"You know what I mean. I can't deal with having a child with anyone else. It isn't fair for you to disregard me completely."

"Isn't that what you're doing to me?"

"Not as severely. You don't seem to understand how difficult it's been for me for my entire life. My whole project, everything I do, has been an uphill battle. I've had very little control over anything and the one time I ask for something to go my way, it blows up in my face. You two are already successful. You even have your own house now! My sister Morgan started the cheetah project and two hundred years later, we don't even have a quarter of what you have already. I'm over one hundred and thirty years old and all I have to my name is my Charge and some bastard child I don't even want because it'll pull me away from the one constant in my life. The one thing that holds me together and reminds me I'm not a complete fucking failure at everything else. I can do anything so long as Zexion is there with me but if this child comes into existence, I know things won't be the same.

Everything will change when I don't want it to. I see it in his eyes when we have to talk about it. He says it doesn't involve him, that he doesn't have a say because it isn't his child. But that's wrong, even if what he says is right. It isn't his child, it isn't his confrontation, but that's the problem. It's not something that involves us both. And…I can't have that. The appeal of having children is too much for me, and I can guarantee you it'll be hard for me to get over it, but having something that he doesn't feel he's a part of in my life is just…it's hell. I'm not strong enough to separate myself from the child enough to where I can stay exclusively his. A piece of me will always be thinking about what's going on with the baby, or what it's plans are, or whatever. It won't be just us anymore. Which would be fine, if it was our child. But it's _my_ child. Not his. I… does that make sense? Or am I just rambling and crying because I'm stupid?" Demyx asked and sniffled loudly, wiping at his cheeks.

"Your codependency with each other is sickening," Xigbar interjected before Mary could say anything. The girl whirled in her chair to send his a nasty look before turning back to Demyx again.

"I understand what you're saying, but it doesn't change the fact that I'd be killing my child. It's mine too, you know. I'm alright with taking it for our project if it would be too much for you, but I don't think I can get an abortion just because you want me to."

"…I'm asking for miracles, I know. Will you at least consider it?" Demyx asked, sniffling again.

"I'll…I'll consider it. I'll…let you know," she said. Demyx nodded a bit, keeping his eyes away from the screen and on the keyboard. "Is that all you needed?" she asked. He nodded again. "Alright. Well, I'll keep in touch," she said and closed the transmission, leaving the Carrier to himself. He sighed.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Demyx healed. He was able to change to his Primal form after a while and life resumed its sense of normalcy as much as it could. Axel and Roxas acquired a camera, like they wanted, and flooded the Charge forum with pictures of their facility and all of its new accoutrements as well as a few of themselves. Terra frequented Ventus' bedroom as much as he could. Sora and Riku lost four Carrier embryos but everyone else held steady. Leon and Cloud's life together was quiet, thankfully, and their project started to pick up again.

The peace, the civility, the lull in activity, was welcomed by all. But it was temporary, and only last two months.


	76. Chapter 76

**Chapter 76**

Roxas couldn't decide how he felt about Axel's new habit. The redhead really enjoyed the rain; far more than any one person should, in the blonde's opinion. Whenever the precipitation would start to drop, the glint in Axel's eye told Roxas 'oh! It's time to stop whatever we're doing and frolic like a couple of idiots!' To the Carrier's dismay, Roxas would always refuse. Axel would then go outside by himself or with Demyx and run around enough until he could come back inside looking like a drowned rat and drip all over the carpeting. Roxas wasn't pleased.

The only difference this time around was that Axel was being insatiable. His pleading eyes and droopy face was jabbing at the back of the blonde's mind enough to force him to consent to standing out in the rain for three minutes with him. With a huge grin, Axel leapt to his feet and yanked Roxas out of the lab and down the hall with him, leaving Ventus alone to be boring with his textbooks. Ventus didn't mind. He had seen and felt the rain already and deemed it evil, just like Roxas had. It was one of the few things they could agree on.

"Hang on!" Roxas cried when he was about to be pulled out the door. Axel stopped and looked to him.

"What now?" the redhead sighed. The benefit of artificial rainfall was that it usually lasted longer than natural rainfall and was far more predictable. If the sun was extremely hot and the soil really dry for several days, chances are the machine in the sky knew and would dump a bunch of rain on them within a couple days after. No one had to water outdoor plants because the machine was so efficient. There were more and more people tearing up their concrete patios to put down grass and gardens, forcing some color and life into the city. There was the added bonus that no one had to do any additional weeding in their beds because the weed seeds didn't come in with the plants, so nothing troublesome grew.

"I want to take my shoes off, give me a second," Roxas said and kicked off his socks and sneakers by the inside of the door before allowing Axel to yank him outside. Immediately, he scowled. The rain was cold, unpleasant, and he hated the feeling of half damp and heavy clothing. They were in the field so he had nothing to hide behind, either. Axel loved it and he looked to his grumpy Charge with a smile before he started to laugh, making Roxas' sour expression deepen.

"You look so angry. It's funny," the redhead chuckled.

"I'm not running around with you. I told you I'd be out for three minutes, then I'm heading back inside," Roxas huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. He shivered a bit as a breeze came through and whipped his face with more droplets.

"Aw, I'm sorry it's so torturous. At least it isn't a storm," Axel said. Roxas heaved a sigh and glared at the grass. The Carrier stifled a laugh and stepped forward to wrap his arms around the blonde and hug him to his warmth. "I love you, Roxas. Thank you for humoring me," the redhead said and rested his cheek on the golden and quickly drooping locks.

"Yeah, whatever," Roxas huffed and hugged him back, attempting to bury his face into Axel's damp t-shirt. To his major dissatisfaction, Axel pulled away and looked at him.

"You don't love me back?" the redhead asked.

"I haven't decided. I'm cold and wet. If it gets to the point where my underwear gets soaked and sticks to me, I might have to make you sleep in another bed tonight," the blonde said. Axel grinned.

"Ah. I see how it is. Alright, fine. Here," Axel said and took Roxas' hand and began pulling him across the field. The blonde trudged after him crankily until they reached the medical supply shed. The redhead pulled him around to the back of the tiny building where there was a small overhang. There was a tiny sliver of dry land back there underneath it and Axel nudged the blonde up against the wall so some of the water was deflected elsewhere. It helped. Some. But Roxas wasn't entirely satisfied.

"I'm still really cold, Axel," Roxas said between his chattering teeth. He hugged himself and huddled in his semi-dry spot and looked up at the redhead with angry eyes. His annoyance wasn't helped when Axel didn't consent to going inside and smiled at him instead. The Carrier leaned down so they were face to face and rubbed his nose with his Charge's.

The redhead had an ulterior motive that the blonde couldn't seem to conceptualize. He took Roxas' wrists and gently tugged them until the blonde let go of his arms, then he pushed them up over his shoulders so they draped around his neck loosely. Axel bent a bit and slid his hands down and around Roxas' thighs and grabbed them and hauled the blonde upwards. The Charge let out a surprised squawk and held onto Axel's shoulders for stability as his feet left the ground and his legs were forced to encircle the redhead's waist. Axel grabbed onto Roxas' rump and held him up easily, letting him lean back against the wall some.

"Warmer yet?" the redhead questioned, attempting to give the blonde entirely innocent eyes. He couldn't help the sneaky smile that split across his lips though. Roxas' cheeks pinkened at the insinuation.

"I have the distinct feeling that I've been pulled into some sort of dirty trap."

"I would say that's a fairly accurate assumption."

"Yes well…you have me now. What are we doing?"

"I was thinking you could lose your clothes in a flurry of passionate rubbing and then we can see where it gets us," Axel said with an even voice and a completely serious face. Roxas pushed his brows together.

"Out here? Really? In the wet and the cold and the public? What's gotten into you?"

"I'm excited," the redhead said and smiled.

"Because of the rain or because of tomorrow?" Roxas asked. Axel shifted his hips forward and wedged the blonde against the wall so he could wrap his arms around him and hug him tightly.

"Right this second? A little of both. But the precursor was me thinking about tomorrow," the redhead said and nuzzled his face into Roxas' hair. The blonde hugged him back with a whimsical smile ghosting his lips. Tomorrow was the day they would be able to add the Blanks into the gestational chambers. All of them. The bean, and all seven of her siblings would officially become Carriers by the same time next week. It was a huge milestone and both Axel and Roxas were willing the day to pass quickly so they could get on with tomorrow.

"Okay," Roxas said. Axel pulled back so they could see each other and moved his hands down again so he could hold the blonde up properly.

"Hmm?" the redhead questioned with a raised brow.

"Okay," the blonde repeated. "But you need to let me down for a second so I can get out of my shorts."

Axel grinned.

* * *

Demyx sighed sadly, watching the peanut (now eleven months into gestation and a successful Carrier infant) float around in her tube and twitch the way only babies did. He desperately wanted to reach in and pull her out for a quick cuddle before throwing her back in again. His mind had spent the last two months preparing himself for the inevitable visit from Mary when she would present to their proverbial doorstep, in labor, and the chaos that would ensue. It was still a few months away, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. Especially since he was halfway finished with the new baby's Blank. A little boy.

"Are you alright?" Zexion asked, laying a hand on the sandy blonde's back. Demyx shrugged.

"As much as I can be."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Babies."

"I see. That's nothing new."

"Yeah but thinking about them never made me sad before," the Carrier sighed. Zexion came around to stand in front of Demyx. He leaned forward and snaked his arms around the sandy blonde's chest and hugged him. The Carrier smiled a bit and hugged him back tightly. They each heaved a tandem sigh before parting again.

"It's raining; did you want to see if Axel wants to run around in it with you again?" Zexion asked. Demyx thought about it for a minute before nodding a bit. He planted a kiss on Zexion's forehead before leaving the lab and heading out for Axel and Roxas'.

"Axel?" Demyx questioned when he pushed the doors open and stuck his head inside. Ventus was the only one he could see and the blonde looked to him with a raised brow.

"Um, he forced Roxas out into the rain with him. I think they went to the field," Ventus said. Demyx nodded.

"Alright, thanks," he said and left again, making his way down the hall and eventually out into the rain. He looked around curiously, squinting against the droplets, taking in the empty expanse of grass. The air was heavy with moisture and he took a deep sniff, picking up the smell of water and grass. There was a lingering musk in the scents' afterthoughts. He couldn't quite place it, but it was obvious that Axel and Roxas weren't there so he decided to follow the outside wall of the facility, heading in the direction of the smell. After several yards it quickly became clear what the smell was. Tigers.

Now, Demyx's mischievous brain had to do some serious pondering. Out of all of his friends, Axel (especially in conjunction with Roxas) was probably one of the most private with his love life. No one really ever had the opportunity to make fun of the pair for their voyeuristic tendencies because well… there weren't any. Everything had been confined to the bedroom behind a lock and key, and aside from Axel's volume problems, no one ever really knew that they were intimate. Riku and Sora at least played tonsil hockey every now and again in the lab if someone cared to pay attention. Even Leon and Cloud had been caught together at least a couple dozen times by Demyx and various other outside parties. And it was no secret whenever the sandy blonde himself and Zexion were rolling around together. So to smell Axel's distinct musk that only came out of him during and after such private moments, in the middle of a public place, was a very entertaining thing for Demyx to discover.

He quickly snuck his way across the grass and pressed his back up against the medical supply shed's wall to become as flat as he could. Before he could get any closer to the edge, he could already hear them. Roxas' heavy panting coupled with Axel's guttural grunts and the wet sounds of skin on skin made Demyx' face darken a few shades of red. He couldn't say that it was exciting or stimulating in any way, because it wasn't when he thought about Axel and Roxas being the culprits. But he had the sudden urge to dash back into the facility and tackle Zexion to the tile and force the same sounds out of him that Roxas was making and that train of thought was enough to give him a bit of a thrill. He couldn't do that just yet though; he had to take a peek just to sate his curious mind. He inched down the wall and poked his head around the corner just enough to see.

He was a bit surprised to find the pair in the position they were in. Number one, he never realized Roxas was that flexible. Number two, he had never considered having sex standing up the way they were. Of course, Axel had the upper body strength to support Roxas entirely and Demyx doubted the stability if he and Zexion were to try the same thing. The blonde had one of his legs almost completely hooked over the redhead's shoulder while the other one was threaded under Axel's arm and around his waist as much as it could be. The redhead held the blonde with one hand cupped around the small of his back and the other a little lower than his shoulder blades. Roxas' shoulders and head were being supported mostly by the wall. His fingers were gripped onto Axel's biceps like vices as his entire body shook with the redhead's thrusting but the noises accompanying it all were a bit muffled by his Carrier's lips. They both still had their shirts on but no pants, so they were exposed to the world, but Demyx didn't care about that; the amount of multitasking and the tangling of so many limbs was enough to make him want to take a picture for further study.

"A-Axel!" Roxas gasped suddenly, pulling away from the redhead's fervent kissing. The Carrier let out a low chuckle and moved to bury his face into the blonde's throat, nipping and pulling at the skin. Roxas' arms pulled up and wrapped around Axel's neck to cling to him and his sopping wet shirt as the redhead's pace picked up. It wasn't long before Roxas let out a stifled cry and spilled a stream of white onto himself. Axel was soon to follow and he grit his teeth in an obvious effort to keep himself quiet. He managed to strangle the sound back as he climaxed, letting out a strange squeak followed by a series of deep pants with the exertion. Demyx took that as his cue to leave and slowly made his way towards the doors again, his mind reeling with ideas of what he could do with Zexion.

Axel gathered Roxas up against his chest and slowly lowered them both back so he could sit on the grass. The rain hadn't let up since they started so the freezing wet blades pressing into his butt didn't faze him. They were both completely drenched but neither of them cared. The redhead held the blonde comfortably in his lap for a few minutes as they caught their breaths. Eventually, Roxas sat upright and picked a few pieces of red hair off of Axel's face and pressed their lips together gently.

"I love you," Axel said when they pulled apart. Roxas smiled and rubbed his nose with the redheads.

"I love you too," he said, forcing the Carrier to smile with him.

"We should get back inside before one of us gets sick."

"Probably," the blonde agreed and laid his head on the redhead's shoulder. Axel hugged him and heaved a contended sigh. There was a soft, familiar squeak that startled them both. Their eyes flew to the door that lead back into the facility just as it was beginning to swing closed again.

"Do you think someone saw us?" Axel asked quietly, pulling Roxas' attention back to him. They shared wide eyed and startled looks for a moment.

"I hope not…" the blonde trailed, his cheeks turning pink. Axel chuckled and rubbed his back.

"Just act normal. Hopefully we can make it back to the room without any disturbances."

* * *

"Are you going to cry?" Cloud asked with an empty inflection and a slight monotone. Leon was standing next to him with a downtrodden expression as they faced the gestational tank that housed the fetus that had been created with the sample from their test of Leon's drug. The tiny life had died some time over the last evening from genetic complications that no doubt came from the chemicals it had been made with. The fetus itself was a little oddly shaped and it was obvious that it wouldn't ever be a normal Carrier even if it had survived. Cloud was surprised it even made it that long into its growth cycle.

"Will you think less of me if I do?" Leon asked blandly as he scowled with his eyes averted off to the side from the tank. There were two other tiny lives in the cylinder with the dead one and extracting the fetus wasn't going to be a fun. Because they couldn't drain the tank without hurting the other two, they would need to open the top console and literally fish the fetus out and send it off to the Technicians to be dealt with. Cremation seemed like the most economical solution for the human fetuses (such as the one they had now) but once a Blank was introduced and the Carrier itself started to grow, there was a much more involved process that needed to happen. Synthetic parts didn't tend to burn very well, after all.

"No," Cloud responded calmly and leaned over to his lover and laid a gentle kiss in his hair. Leon nodded quietly and the blonde left him to take a seat in front of the Gestational Terminal. Cloud's fingers went to work, halting the top console's operations. The console itself was simply a mechanical cap that made the top part of the gestational chamber and deposited the prenatal chemicals and kept the environment stable for the lives inside. In order to open it and gain access to the tank, it had to be turned off, but they needed to turn it on again within an hour to keep everything inside alive.

Cloud had to have the unfortunate job of fishing the dead fetus out of the tank. Because of Leon's Carrier body and the nature of the program, the lives inside the liquid would react to him if he were to stick his arm into their environment. The chemicals they used during the growing processes helped the fetuses become naturally attracted to Carrier bodies, so when the Blank was introduced, the merger would be steadier. If Leon was to dip his arm into the tank now, before any Blanks, the lives inside would literally attempt to fuse into his skin and that could pose a lot of problems.

Dead Carriers had to be dealt with in a number of ways. Depending on the size of the life at the time of death, the ones in charge could fish them out, place them in a sealed container and send them off, such as the current case. Anything bigger than five pounds didn't fit in the containers though and the pair involved would have to live with the deceased floating around in the gestational tank until the Technicians sent them something to put it in. Leon was thankful they didn't have to deal with that again. Watching his dead brother in the gestational tank all those years ago wasn't his idea of a party, to say the least. Especially since the toddler had opened his eyes before he died and kept staring at him for the week they had to wait for the Technicians to do their job. It was then that they invested in the oversized black panels that Cloud had used to block Leon off when the Carrier was in the Diagnostic Care Center.

As Cloud worked, Leon went off into the storage closet in the back of the lab to find the step ladder and bring it out. He unfolded it and set it in front of the gestational chamber before heading back to the closet to find the metal arm and the canister they would need to seal the fetus inside. The arm itself was simply a metal rod with a ring on the end that held the canister. Leon opened the canister and held onto the cap, before dropping the cup into the ring. He handed the tool off to Cloud when the Charge was finished and the blonde took it and climbed the step ladder. He unlatched the top console and pushed it aside from the cylinder and rolled up his sleeve before dipping the cup into the liquid below. He had to stand on his tip toes and stick his arm all the way in to get in the fetus' general vicinity.

Leon stood in front of the glass and gave Cloud directions on which way to go. After twenty minutes of fishing, Cloud managed to get below the fetus and scoop it into the cup. He accidentally caught one of the living fetuses on the way up and scowled as he had to gently nudge the dime sized glob of life back into the liquid with his finger. Leon reached up and handed him the lid to the canister and the blonde capped it. He pulled the top console back into place and closed everything up again. Leon went to fetch a towel and handed it off to Cloud just as the blonde descended the step ladder again. The Carrier took the canister from the metal arm and sighed as he looked it over and Cloud dried himself off. The canister was relative to the size of the fetus, so it was on the small side. He was able to hold it comfortably in his hand and look over its non-descript black coloring with a heavy heart. It couldn't have been much bigger than an ordinary drinking glass.

"Are you alright?" Cloud asked as he unrolled his sleeve again. Leon nodded quietly. "You're sure?" the blonde persisted. Leon shook his head. "Did you want to go home and figure it out?" he asked. Leon nodded. "Okay," Cloud said and went to go restart the Gestational Terminal.

Leon set the canister aside and took the metal arm and step ladder back into the storage closet. On the lid of the canister was an imprinted address that went straight to the Committee. They would have to stop by the post office and hand the canister off to be sent there before they could go home and Leon wasn't looking forward to it. He would be able to keep it together until he and Cloud were alone together, but that post office was the hard part. It wasn't exactly a respectful place to leave the dead. Regardless, it had to be done. They exited the lab together just as Axel and Roxas passed by them, dripping wet and smelling absolutely _awful_.

"What the fuck have you been rolling in?" Cloud blurted with a frown. The bypassing pair froze with matching sets of pink cheeks.

"Uhm…" Axel trailed.

"That's his musk," Leon concluded casually. Cloud looked to him, then back at the redhead. Neither of them had ever encountered Axel post coitus without a shower. Roxas inched back to the redhead's side, attempting to hide behind him. His embarrassment was obvious and the grip he had on his shoes tightened as he stared at the floor.

"Good god," Cloud gasped. He reached out and gave the redhead a shove. "Keep going; don't get it all over this part of the hall. I don't need to come back and smell it again."

"You guys are leaving? This early?" Axel questioned and looked between them. Leon wasn't making eye contact, which was strange. Cloud… seemed like Cloud. Not much had changed. Leon was also hiding his hand behind his back which, unbeknownst to Axel, held the canister.

"Yeah, so?" the taller blonde questioned. "Are you going to miss us?"

"What's wrong?" Axel asked, ignoring Cloud's attitude. He peered to Leon expectantly but the russet Carrier didn't respond or seem to notice him.

"That's none of your business," Cloud said sharply. Roxas peeked around Axel and looked Leon over. He pushed his brows together worriedly. The taller blonde didn't give them any more time to respond though and took Leon's wrist and tugged his arm as he started walking away. The russet Carrier followed after him quietly and they left the smelly pair to themselves. Axel and Roxas watched them leave confusedly.

"Something died," Axel said after a moment of silence.

"What? Really? How can you tell?" Roxas asked, looking up at the redhead.

"Leon doesn't get like that unless he's seriously depressed. He's only depressed when something dies. That, and the black thing he was holding probably has a dead fetus in it. That's the only use we have for those kinds of canisters."

"Why wasn't Cloud more upset, then?" the blonde asked.

"Because he's weird? I have no idea. I hardly understand them as it is."

* * *

The next day was chaotic. It was a good kind of chaos, but chaos none the less. Roxas had never been so thankful to have Ventus around. The added pair of hands was a valuable asset as Axel handled configuring the Gestational Terminal so it could handle the new additions. The pair of blondes ran around hurriedly shuffling Blanks around and making sure things matched up perfectly. Roxas had taken a minute to label each of the eight gestational tanks with the model number of the Blank that was to be matched to it so when Ventus helped, he wouldn't get confused.

Configuring the Gestational Terminal was the easy part. Opening up the gestational tanks and dropping a Blank in each one was even easier. But the aftermath was absolute torture. Having to sit for several hours and fill out reports for each Carrier was the hard part. There were so many statistics and tiny details to send off to the Technicians that by the end of it, Roxas and Axel's eyes were crossed and they had headaches. Ventus had served his purpose for the beginning part and he couldn't help very much with the report filing so he went back to his studies obediently.

Riku and Sora were nervous. Less than twenty four hours before, they had lost another fetus. Their count was up to five, and they feared the stability of the remaining six. Riku was more upset than Sora was but neither of them were very happy. The brunette had never seen a dead infant before. The fact that he had to remove and touch several of them in various stages of growth left a bad taste in his mouth. Riku didn't know what to do. Late into the previous evening, only a few hours before their fifth death, Leon had called him and told him about his and Cloud's loss. The snowy Carrier took that as a bad sign for his own project.

To have complications from Leon's drug impact the health of developing Carriers was bad. To have an entire brood of growing Carriers come from the same chemical pool as the one that led to abnormalities, was even more fearsome. Leon's drug was the precursor to Ansem's drug and though they were two separate things, Riku didn't know how much they actually differed. The unknown possibilities of mutated Carriers that they would need to abort later in the growth cycle scared him. He didn't want any more failures.

Then again, Axel and Roxas' Carriers seemed to be doing fine. Nothing strange that Riku knew of showed on the progress scans and the pair couldn't have been happier. Once again, Riku was left with a series of questions and no answers. He had never gotten this far with any of his other Charges but he wasn't naïve enough to think he was in the clear. He tried to put up a strong front for Sora but the uncertainty was eating at him. On the plus side, the Blanks went in and the entire beginning process went smoothly.

"Riku?" Sora asked after the reports had been filed. The Carrier looked to him.

"Yes?"

"Do you really think everything will be okay if we leave?"

"You mean the trip to the ecosystems?"

"Yeah. I'm scared."

"Well, there isn't much we can do to change it. We're leaving in less than four weeks and this trip has been scheduled for some time now. Saïx needs us to be there. It'd be too short of notice to back out now and we could get in some serious trouble if we just up and decide we don't want to," Riku said. Sora sighed. The Carrier went to him and pulled him into a firm embrace. "I can't guarantee that everything will be one hundred percent but…" he hesitated. "Whatever happens will happen whether we're here or not, Sora. I don't really want to leave for much of the same reasons either, but we have more than one responsibility at this point."

"What do you think we should do?" Sora asked, hugging the Carrier back. It was moments like those that Riku had to remind himself to watch his words. What he really wanted to do was spout a poetic and corny speech about how everything would be fine so long as they loved each other but… Sora didn't love him. Riku kept telling himself he would be fine so long as Sora didn't leave, but he knew now how much he was lying to himself. It hurt.

"Between Leon and Cloud and Demyx and Zexion, I'm sure everyone will be taken care of. If something does happen, I trust them enough to handle it efficiently. Don't you?"

"I guess," the brunette said with blatant uncertainty.

"Plus, Ventus will be here and he has that Technician friend of his over here every few days. I'm sure if there's something serious, everyone can pull him off of Ventus long enough to help, yes?" Riku attempted to joke, pulling away from Sora and taking in his uneasiness. "I'm not helping, am I?"

"Not really," the brunette said flatly.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to tell you to make you feel better. It is what it is. I can't change it just by willing it to."

"I know. I just…" Sora sighed. "I want to talk to Roxas. I'll be back," he added and backed away from Riku and turned to leave. The Carrier watched him go feeling like his heart had been ripped from his chest. Once the doors swung closed and Sora was gone, he heaved a heavy sigh and ran his fingers through his hair a few times hoping that it didn't start falling out with his stress.

"Hey buddy," Ventus said when Sora pushed the lab doors open and stepped inside.

"Hey. Have you seen Roxas?" the brunette asked when he couldn't see his brother.

"Uh… Axel attacked him when they were finished with the Blanks and filling out the reports. He said something about making a video with Roxas and their camera to show the brothers and sisters where they came from. I don't think he was serious but I'm pretty sure they're naked and all over each other in the bed right now regardless," Ventus said calmly and flipped a page in his textbook. Sora pushed his brows together with a disgruntled face.

"Wow. Gross. Well… do you have a minute?"

"Sure, pull up a chair," Ventus said and pointed across the room where Axel had left a chair in front of the Gestational Terminal. Sora dragged it over to Ventus' table and sat with him. "What's up?" the blonde asked, closing his book and resting his elbow on it and his chin on his palm.

"Riku and I lost another Carrier yesterday," Sora started. Ventus' brows rose and pushed together in sympathy.

"Fuck, I'm sorry."

"Thanks…but I'm almost used to it by now. It's only been a couple months but we've lost almost half of them. I'm scared to lose any more. Riku doesn't really know this but I went back and looked over a bunch of reports about his progress with one of his previous Charges. The one that committed suicide, Jasmine. I think I told you about her…"

"Some, but I heard a lot from a lot of different people so I know what you're talking about. Go on," Ventus urged.

"Well apparently she and Riku had problems before with Carriers only getting to be about seven months old before they died and stuff. He's made more progress with me, but things still aren't all that great. In the reports he sent back and forth to Ansem, it said something about compatibility percentage and it reminded me of yours and Axel's and Axel and Roxas'. It didn't make a whole lot of sense to me and I wanted to ask Roxas if he understood more than I did."

"What's your percentage with Riku?" Ventus asked.

"Seventy-two."

"Do you know Riku and Jasmine's?"

"Sixty-four or something. Less than ours but not by much. I don't really know what that means; you know, if it's a good thing or not or if it even matters. I was hoping Roxas would be willing to help me sit down and figure it out."

"I remember my DNA mixing together with Axel's better than Roxas' did and I remember Axel telling me about Leon and Cloud's percentage being like… really fucking tiny. Maybe it doesn't have a whole lot to do with literal compatibility in the chemical sense, you know? Maybe it just measures how well the Carrier and Charge are supposed to get along at first meeting. Axel and I were cool as soon as we met while I hear he and Roxas were about to kill each other at one point. I…Leon and Cloud confuse the hell out of me. I don't know what the fuck their problem is. They seem like they hate each other but I highly doubt it."

"But does that mean that compatibility changes? Like… yeah, Roxas and Axel didn't get along before but now they're hardly ever apart. Hang on…" Sora trailed with a curious inflection as he pushed himself out of the chair and made his way over the Catalogue terminal. He plugged in his watch and quickly started typing away, trying to find the archive of reports he had read about Riku and Jasmine. Ventus scooted across the floor in his chair to take a look. "See, the reports and messages Riku and Ansem exchanged stops right when Ansem started talking about testing their compatibility percentage again. That's why I'm confused. I don't know why that would matter. but if it changes over time, then it makes more sense."

"It's entirely possible. You could always test yours and Riku's against the first report. But what does this have to do with Carriers dying on you guys?"

"Riku explained to me that he chose me, a guy, because the women he had gotten involved with got way more involved with his looks and crossed over with him quickly because of it without actually understanding what was going on. He said that he didn't doubt that had the other two survived stasis they would've been like Jasmine and realized their situation and eventually committed suicide. Jasmine supposedly followed him because he was pretty and charming and left a really full life behind to be with him. She was some sort of high standing lady in society and had everything handed to her and when she came over here, the culture shock is what did her in. But by the end of it she was telling him how much she hated him for bringing her over and how she regretted even meeting him, which, sounds a lot like Roxas when he first came here. I'm curious to find out what her and Riku's percentage was right before she died. Riku says that their progress really slowed down once Jasmine started to become more distant but I don't know if that's because she wouldn't cooperate with him or if it's the compatibility, you know? It's a sore subject and I want to figure out as much as I can before I bring it up again," Sora said.

"Are you worried that if the percentage does fluctuate with relationship status that you might be part of the problem with your Carriers dying? Because you don't love him?" Ventus asked carefully.

"Yeah…" the brunette trailed sadly. "Do… do you know how to run an analysis to find people's compatibility? Because if we test some recent samples from Axel and Roxas and its way higher than it was before, that would prove the theory, yeah? If we just do it with Roxas' Charge profile it'll just give us the initial report percentage again."

"I have no idea how to do that, but!" Ventus said and scooted his chair back over to the table and shuffled a couple of textbooks around and picked one up. "I have a book that should tell us," he continued, holding up the Catalogue system's instruction manual. He opened the back and started flipping through the index. Sora went across the lab again and opened the storage vats that held the canisters of sample material for Axel and Roxas. He was a little disgusted to find that the containers were so full of material but he took it as a positive sign that his brother and the redhead were in fact, incredibly happy together. He stared at the canisters for a moment, trying to figure out which ones were the most recent and eventually settled on picking them at random. He hadn't seen Axel and Roxas apart from one another for more than an hour for several weeks and figured all the samples were recent enough to use.

Ventus was typing away at the Catalogue Terminal, book in hand, as he called out the steps to Sora. With fumbling fingers and the precision of a blind man aiming for a target hundreds of yards away, the brunette went about putting Roxas' sample into the Extractor and ripping apart sperm. Had he been doing some serious work with the machine, his methodology and results would've been far worse, but all he needed to do was get a big enough glob of cytoplasm together to send over to the Gestational Terminal. Once Roxas' was complete, Sora went about doing the same thing for Axel's sample. The redhead's took a bit longer since Sora had to weed through the human and the Totem sperm, but after two hours of awkward messing around, the results of the Gestational Terminal's work was sent over to Ventus to analyze with the Catalogue. The blonde poked around with the genetic profiles until he could find a number.

"A-ha!" Ventus cried out triumphantly as he slammed the book closed. "Your brother and Axel are one hundred percent compatible, my friend," he said and looked over his shoulder to the brunette. "I wonder if mine and Axel's dropped any, give me a second," he continued and poked around to pull up his own genetic profile and compare it to Axel's current one. "Yeah, we're down to eighty-three percent now. We were ninety-four before. It makes me wonder what Leon and Cloud's is. Demyx and Zexion are probably a hundred percent too; they're never apart and all over each other's faces constantly."

"So… it is my fault then. They aren't surviving because Riku and I aren't as compatible as we should be. But… Riku loves me and I… oh god," Sora said and held his face in his hands. "All those babies…it's all my fault because I can't love him back…" he trailed, feeling tears sting the backs of his eyes. Ventus set the book aside and stood from his chair. He pulled the ailing brunette into a hug and rubbed his back.

"Hey now, don't start crying on me. You might get me going too. It's not the end of the world, Sora. You guys have a lot of time to make it work," the blonde attempted.

"But it's been two years already! If it was going to happen it should've happened already!" Sora said as the tears broke free from his eyelids and trailed down his cheeks. Ventus scowled and allowed the brunette to soak the front of his shirt, patting his back reassuringly.

"Everyone's different. It could just be the way you guys are. You don't have to be like Demyx and Zexion right away. Two years compared to an unlimited lifetime is a really short time span to force a relationship to happen. You said it yourself that you don't know what you want, so maybe you just need to figure it out. Give it time, dude," Ventus said. Sora pulled away from him and wiped at his face and nose, sniffling loudly.

"But what about the babies we have right now? I don't want them all to die…" the brunette said.

"There's no guarantee that they're going to. There's a lot more to it than a couple of happy sperm making out, you know? Are you sure they other five died because of poor compatibility? Or was it something else?"

"I don't know…Riku tried to explain it but I didn't understand and…argh! I'm so fucking stupid," Sora huffed and started pulling at his hair in his frustration. Tears leaked out of his eyes and he sniffed another glob of snot. Ventus batted his hands away from his hair and shoved his shoulders around so he stood a bit straighter.

"Stop that," the blonde ordered. "Don't get discouraged over stuff you don't understand. If you really want to know, you have to ask Riku to explain it to you again and again until you get it. I make Axel do the same thing for me sometimes with my studies. It's frustrating and it sucks but you can't get all upset over it when you don't even know why. For all you know it could've been something completely unrelated to your percentage, right?"

"Right…" Sora said quietly and wiped his nose again.

"Good. Now get back to Riku and start asking questions. Somewhere along the way you need to figure out what you want and maybe if you talk to him more, you'll figure it out," Ventus said and nudged the brunette towards the doors. Sora ground his heels into the tile to halt their movements and whirled on the blonde suddenly. He quickly hugged Ventus around the waist tightly in a brief 'thank you' before skittering out the doors. The blonde watched him leave before he heaved a heavy sigh, silently wishing him the best.


	77. Chapter 77

**Chapter 77**

Sora and Riku were sitting in the brunette's bedroom together. It had taken Sora another two weeks to work up the gumption to approach the snowy Carrier about everything he had discovered and even though he had that extra time, it wasn't helping him very much. He was incredibly nervous, and Riku knew it. The Carrier wasn't really aware of what had transpired but the brunette's jitteriness scared him a bit. Sora didn't know how to start such a conversation.

"Riku…I—it's my fault," he blurted when he couldn't think of anything else.

"What is?" Riku asked confusedly, pushing his brows together worriedly.

"The babies… and the dying…and the lack of progress…it's my fault," Sora said haltingly, keeping his eyes averted and his voice low.

"Why do you say that? Did you do something to the machine?"

"No, it's…compatibility percentage and…stuff," the brunette said.

"I'm not following. Explain a bit more?" Riku asked. Sora took a deep breath, unsuccessfully settling his nerves, before he started to repeat what he and Ventus had discovered. He said everything, from looking up the old reports about Jasmine, to what they concluded and how the compatibility percentage fluctuates. He also went on to express how he felt he crossed over too soon and never got a chance to decide for himself how he felt about things and that whole conversation as well. Riku listened closely and pieced everything together, but eventually Sora got so incredibly upset he was forgetting to breathe.

"…and I know how much you want all of this to work but I can't force myself—"

"Sora."

"—to do something that I don't feel and I know we've been over this—"

"Sora."

"—but it hurts so much to hurt you because you're such a nice person but I don't know—"

"Sora!" Riku cried and grabbed the brunette's cheeks between his palms and held him steady. Sora stopped talking and gazed at him with watery eyes and a defeated expression that pulled at the Carrier's heartstrings. "It's alright. I understand what's happening."

"Y-you do?" Sora asked. Riku let go of his face and folded his hands in his lap with a tiny sigh.

"I think there are some things you should know."

"What kinds of things?"

"About the circumstances surrounding your previous life and things that should fill in the holes with your feelings. I understand what you mean when you said you didn't get to live enough and how you crossed over too soon. It's because you did."

"Wait, what?" Sora asked confusedly. Riku held up his hand to stop any further questioning.

"Let me explain. The reasons I've told you surrounding why I chose you are completely truthful and nothing different. But I wasn't supposed to make contact with you until you were twenty-three," Riku said and heaved another sigh as he pulled his thoughts together. "As I watched you grow up, I realized how strong of a bond you had with Roxas. I made an executive decision around your sixteenth birthday that I would take you at the same time Axel took Roxas so that you would have each other when you crossed over. Jasmine taught me that having a bit of one's old life around kept things a bit more stable on the mental level. The theory I had was that if you had Roxas with you, it would prevent a lot of heartache and you would be more willing to stay with me unlike Jasmine did.

Had I known how easily you could separate yourself from your brother and still be relatively happy, I would've done things correctly and followed the rules. I should've taken it as a red flag when you were so willing to listen and follow me in the beginning but I selfishly thought less of you and doubted your personal strength. Had I realized you would've been fine without Roxas and that your main goal was to develop more as your own person, I wouldn't have been so hasty. My past and my own feelings clouded my better judgment and for that I sincerely apologize. I've hurt you in more ways than I ever could've conceived and I don't know how I can make it up to you."

"I…five years early?" Sora questioned. Riku nodded. "Well…what was I supposed to be doing during all that time?"

"It's not a definite thing, but you were supposed to take a couple years off of school to do things your own way for a bit but you were to return around twenty-one. Then…things between you and Kairi were to develop and you'd graduate together and eventually get married by your early thirties…" Riku trailed quietly.

"What?" Sora barked. Riku flinched.

"Had I stayed with the timeline I was given I was supposed to make contact when you were twenty-three and have until your downfall at thirty-four to bring you over."

"Well… what was my downfall? Was I supposed to die or something?"

"No, yours was similar to Roxas' in that nothing seriously bad happened to you physically. After several years of marriage Kairi was supposed to bear a child and then you'd lose interest in anything else. It wasn't a 'downfall' in the actual meaning of the word but it would've made you unusable for my project. I should have taken my time with you…maybe then you would've been more certain of yourself and you wouldn't be so miserable…" Riku said and rubbed his brows. "I'm so sorry, Sora."

"…Why didn't you tell me this before?" the brunette asked flatly, anger slowly bubbling up under his skin.

"I didn't think it was relevant; I thought I had made the right decision. You seemed so happy for so long I just thought your issues with 'love' were because you didn't know what it was and your naïveté was getting the better of you. Now that I understand the entire story, I…I'm ashamed of myself. I don't even know how I would even make it up to you."

"You can't. There's nothing you could do that'll make me forget about this," Sora said. "I thought everything that was wrong between us was my fault. For two years I stewed in my feelings and beat myself up because I thought I was hurting you. But…all of it could've been prevented if you had just waited?" he asked angrily, giving the Carrier a piercing glare. Riku hesitated but eventually nodded.

"Most likely…" he trailed quietly. Sora ground his teeth and furrowed his brows together as he mulled the information over. He had an enormous urge to punch the Carrier in the mouth but he was trying to prevent that as much as he could. The anger swelled inside him until the tension hurt his shoulders and his fingers were gripping the comforter so tightly he felt like his knuckles were going to explode from his skin. Riku's Signet alerted him to his Charge's high level of emotional distress and he reached forward to lay a hand on Sora's arm to try and comfort him. The brunette immediately smacked his hand away.

"Don't fucking touch me," Sora spat.

"Sora…I—what can I do? It wasn't my intention to hurt you like this and I feel awful for it. Please, find it in your heart to not hate me."

"You took advantage of me. Of my stupidity and how trusting I am. I would've grown out of it had you just _waited_ and I could've made a more informed decision and maybe been a little happier in the long run. I didn't know how selfish you could be."

"I know that now. I can't apologize enough. But I honestly thought you'd be happier here with Roxas because losing everything and a major lifestyle change is what Jasmine—"

"I'm not Jasmine!" Sora yelled. Riku closed his mouth and stared down at the comforter. "Stop comparing me to her! We're completely different!"

"I understand that—"

"Apparently you don't! Isn't that how this all started? Because you haven't gotten over her or something? I get that it sucks and it hurts that she's not here but don't you think it's time to move on a little and think about _me_? Like how I've been worrying about _you_ and how much I've been supposedly hurting _you_? God…I wasted two years of brain cells thinking about this shit when it wasn't even my fault. I wonder if that's why I can never stop thinking about my family and Radiant Garden. Regardless of how much I try, I can never escape it."

"I guess there's something to be said about following the rules, isn't there?" Riku sighed. "Do you genuinely regret it though? Do you think you would've been better off never having met your brother?"

"Why the hell would it matter? If I had forgotten him, I wouldn't have known any difference in the first place so there would be nothing to miss."

"I think Roxas would beg to differ. He would've remembered you."

"Yeah? And? If he told me we were brothers and I didn't believe him, a DNA test would show that we're related and we could've started over. The things I missed by coming here early are irreplaceable. A relationship with Roxas can be restarted. I can't go back and restart with Kairi. I can't… go out and be _normal_. I can't re-lose my virginity or have an option of who I want to lose it to. I can't go out and be stupid with my friends and possibly get arrested or anything halfway interesting. But…I _could've_ had you just _waited_. I can't decide if I'm angrier with myself for being such a fucking idiot or if I'm angrier at you for being so selfish."

"I…I don't know what to say," Riku said.

"Whatever. I need to talk to Roxas anyway. I'm done," Sora spat and scooted across the bed and stood. Riku didn't make a move to stop him, the guilt holding him in place.

* * *

Roxas squinted at his tablet. Saïx had sent out a supply list to him for things he and Axel would probably want to bring on their trip. Sora and Riku received the same list. From what it sounded like, the housing accommodations were going to be little more than beds concealed in some sort of structure with a bathroom. There were two different lists, technically; things for the snow and things for the heat. Aside from toiletries and the basic travel necessities, they had to buy their own luggage, as well as pack any bedding they would need. Pillows, blankets, and sheets weren't included. Wherever they were staying had electricity because it had a Catalogue terminal and Roxas wondered if they should pack a space heater and fans. It was going to be a long three weeks.

They were flying to the ecosystem domes. Or rather, they were flying to the nearest community dome and driving the rest of the way. Riku and Axel were classified as cargo and didn't need a plane ticket because they would fly in cages under the plane in the luggage hold. In addition to that, because they would be interacting with the general public outside of their home dome and Carrier Project affairs (such as conferences), they had to wear collars that not only displayed their model numbers but kept them tethered to Roxas and Sora. Nobody was happy about that little detail. Saïx sent out the collars and leashes two weeks before they were scheduled to leave so Riku and Axel could get acquainted.

"I wonder if we're allowed to keep these," Roxas said curiously as he snapped the lockable leather strap closed around Axel's neck. The Carrier tried to swallow and breathe normally but he ended up coughing as the offending thing choked him. Roxas loosened it for him. The redhead sent his Charge a glare.

"You can't be fucking serious," he spat grumpily. Roxas held the heavy duty cloth tether in his hand and shrugged a bit.

"I was thinking bondage, not humiliating you," the blonde said casually.

"Oh my, I'm not sure I'm ready for that," Axel said and chuckled. He reached forward and pulled the blonde closer. He was sitting on the bed in their disheveled bedroom and was able to hug Roxas' chest to his face comfortably. "Give me the thing, I want to try something," he said and pulled the tether. Roxas let it slip from his fingers and Axel gripped it in his hands tightly before pulling in either direction and attempting to break it. He wasn't able to. "Oh wow. Too bad I could rip your arm off if I really wanted to get away."

"I think it's more for looks; public appearance. Really, the practicality of it is nonexistent. If you _really_ wanted to escape you could just pick me up and take me with you."

"Or, rip your arm off," Axel repeated.

"I would prefer you didn't," Roxas said flatly.

"Yes dear," the redhead chuckled and looked around. "Where's the key?"

"Here," Roxas said and stuffed his hand in his pocket. Axel craned his neck and the blonde pulled the lock around and unlocked it. The Carrier tossed the oppressive device aside and sighed.

"I don't want to sit in a cage for six hours," he whined.

"I don't want you to either but there isn't anything we can do about it. Play cards with Riku or something. Sleep. Read. It's not as bad as it could be. At least it'll be quiet and you won't have to deal with crying babies."

"True, but I still don't like it," Axel huffed.

"I know," Roxas said and leaned forward and gave the redhead a light kiss on the forehead before heading off to pick at the various supplies they had compiled in their room already. They had purchased most everything they needed so far and just needed to get the luggage that would house it all. "Are you okay with bug spray? Or will it kill you like perfume does?"

"I don't think you'll need it, honestly."

"Fuck you. The rainforest doesn't have bugs?"

"No it does, but you smell like a tiger. I don't know very many bugs that go for tigers outside of ticks and I don't think bug spray would do much for them. I assume you want it mostly for the mosquitoes?"

"Yeah."

"Well you might get chewed on but they don't carry diseases like they used to. Malaria is a dead illness here and all the bugs are farm raised and clean otherwise. They're food for the other species', not chemical weapons."

"I don't care if they're flying around but I don't want them on me regardless of what I smell like or how clean they are. I'm bringing some," Roxas grumped and took up his tablet to make a note to buy some. Axel laughed.

"You're such a girl about stuff. 'Ew! Bugs!'" he mocked.

"I hated them in Radiant Garden and I hate them here, even if I don't see any."

"True enough."

"Do you know how food is being handled?" Roxas asked. Axel shrugged.

"I assume Riku and I will have to catch it."

"You're not serious."

"I am."

"And then what? Gut it and cook it?"

"Yes. That's generally how it works."

"Good fucking lord," Roxas sighed. "I'm going to have to find a book on edible jungle and tundra plants. Sora and I can't do meat twenty-four seven for three weeks straight. We'll have to bring clean water too if we have to find that too."

"This is getting way more involved than I thought. Talk about survival skills," Axel snorted.

"I know. I think I'll send Saïx a message and ask him about some stuff. There is no way he expects us to fend for ourselves completely. Especially since you and Riku can go a few days without eating and be perfectly fine. Sora and I would have to figure out how to store the food so we can eat regularly and that opens a whole new book of complications I can't even comprehend. I mean, I've been camping before, but only for like… four days. It sucked and I never did it again."

"I remember that trip, actually. I've never been camping and I can agree it was brutal. Your dad only brought enough food for maybe a day and his outdoorsman skills were less than what he thought they were," Axel said.

"Yeah, mom wasn't happy with him when he brought us home half starved and smelling like rotting bodies."

"You mean you don't smell like that normally?"

"If I do that means you do too. I supposedly smell like tigers, remember?"

"Touché, creampuff. Touché," Axel chuckled. Roxas smiled to himself as he attempted to sort through a few piles of clothing to see if he had enough underwear. He doubted they had laundry facilities wherever they were going and he refused to wear a pair for more than a couple days at a time. There was a knock on the door about halfway through the pile and Axel pulled himself off the bed to answer. It was Sora, looking crushed.

"Hi…" the brunette trailed sadly, shuffling his feet a bit and avoiding eye contact.

"Whoa, who killed your puppy?" Axel asked worriedly. He opened the door the rest of the way and Sora stepped inside and took a seat on the edge of the bed. Roxas stopped what he was doing and went to sit next to him. Sora was quiet for a few moments before everything suddenly started to come out at once. Riku's confession, the last couple meaningful conversations he's had with Ventus, compatibility percentage, everything. It took a half hour for him to explain everything through his anger and tears, but when he was finished he felt considerably better. Roxas and Axel took a moment to think about everything and attempt to keep all the details straight.

"The way I see it…" Roxas started, hesitating a bit to put together his thought processes. "If you hadn't been so adamant to come here, I don't think I would've left with you. I never would've gotten closer to Axel and I never would have gotten as far as I have. I would've been stuck back home and miserable after I fucked my life over with Olette so at the very least… I'm happy you came here. Regardless of how you feel about it."

"I have a hard time believing Riku had malicious intents when he pulled you over here early. I didn't even know the timeline he had when he selected you and I just assumed he was doing it the way he was supposed to. Did Kairi mean that much to you that you'd choose her over Roxas?" Axel asked. Sora sniffled and wiped at his eyes.

"I have no idea. I never had to compare the two before. I never got a chance with her to even figure it out, which is what I'm more upset about," the brunette said.

"So are you going to disregard the last two years with Riku completely just because you regret not pushing a relationship with her more? I was always under the impression he and you were happy together even if you were confused about some stuff," Roxas said. "I seem to remember you getting pissed off because she wasn't responding to you anymore and you were about ready to give up anyway."

"Yeah but Riku said we were supposed to be together eventually and—"

"And what? Riku would've tried to make a connection with you anyway even if he had waited. Really, from what you're saying, all he did was skip to the inevitable. All it would've succeeded in doing was fucking your relationship over with me had I left before you. I'm a little pissed that you'd push me away so easily. Fucking Kairi is more important than family?" Roxas persisted.

"Fucking Kairi isn't what I'm upset about, the fact that I never had a choice—"

"But you did. You told me when we first came here that I was being a dick even though I made the choice to come here. You were given the same option as I was and I followed your lead because I didn't want to lose you. Admittedly, Axel had hardly anything to do with my decision at the time and it was all centered on you. I understand what you're saying when you feel you missed a lot, and I can sympathize. But really, there's nothing stopping you from going out and doing the stuff you want to do now. If you _really_ want to go out and sleep around I'm sure there's a few people Ventus can recommend and he probably knows where the good bars and clubs are too.

You had as much opportunity as I did to stay home. You can't sit there and tell me that after two years of doing something completely different that you'd rather go back home and fuck around doing nothing important while Riku sits here and stews because he thinks you hate him. If you were that concerned about all of this, I can't believe you're that stupid to not realize it before. I think you were totally aware of your personal uncertainty problems way before any of this ever happened and Riku is just a convenient target because you've never had to face them before."

"Roxas…" Axel trailed, giving the blonde an uneasy look. Sora opened and closed his mouth several times as the words left him. The whole reason he left his old life was to escape and be his own person. Once that realization slammed into him, he felt like an enormous hypocrite. The wording Roxas chose was a bit harsh but for once, Sora was thankful his brother wasn't all that delicate. He needed to hear it. Sure, the brunette was still upset that he missed some things, but the whole point of leaving was to begin again. What Roxas said was true. Riku wasn't forcing Sora to do anything and there wasn't anything holding him back from experiencing new things if he wanted to. Talking to Ventus for suggestions wasn't a bad idea either.

"What? He's being a bitch," Roxas grumbled, looking to Axel with a surly expression.

"You're right," Sora said quietly. Roxas looked to him again with mild shock.

"What?" the blonde asked.

"Y-you're right. Neither Riku nor I are right in this situation. I'm still angry at him though, but not as much," the brunette sighed.

"I can agree it was sort of a dick move on his part in some ways but I can also see where he thought he was doing you a favor. You can't fault him for that," Axel said. "You have to admit that you did a lot of stuff with Roxas for most of your life. I always thought you guys were really close, too. It wasn't until you were both here that I realized you could not talk to each other for several weeks and be perfectly fine."

"Yeah…" Sora trailed.

"You're allowed to be angry at him, and you don't have to love him all of a sudden, but as his friend I want to ask you to not let him sit around moping for too long," the redhead said. The brunette nodded.

"You know, as weird as it may sound, you might want to talk to Cloud," Roxas said. Both Sora and Axel looked to him like he was insane. "Wait, before you flip out, let me explain. Cloud has to be one of the most stable people I've ever met. Yeah, he gets annoyed easily, but he's really confident with himself and I've never seen him be unsure of anything before. He's also stable enough to go out and do what he wants without giving a damn about what other people will think of him, like taking innocent bystanders to strip clubs with him. Maybe that's what you need, Sora. If you're that unsure of yourself now, I can easily see you guilting yourself into doing things simply because other people want you to or you think you should. If you can get him to do it, I'm sure Cloud can help you be a little more confident."

"Cloud scares me, dude. I don't want to be alone with him," Sora said, sending his brother an uneasy glance. Axel snorted.

"He scares me too sometimes, but I can see where Roxas is going with this. For as confusing as he is, Cloud is probably the strongest person I know emotionally and mentally. Regardless of his stance on various issues and whether or not you agree with them, he's never changed them at least for as long as I've known him. I couldn't say what he was like before I came around but for the last ninety years or so? He hasn't changed. I mean seriously, a bunch of his kids were murdered and he _still_ doesn't get upset when he and Leon lose a fetus. If that doesn't take some immense mental capacity to not eventually go crazy with the internal stress and shoot a bunch of people, I don't know what does," the redhead said. Roxas nodded in agreement. Sora rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

"I was thinking about Roxas' suggestion to ask Ventus about stuff," the brunette admitted.

"Personally, I would feel safer with Cloud. It's got nothing to do with Ventus on a personal level, either. If you happen to run into someone that knew him outside of the facility a lot of bad shit could happen. At least with Cloud he's responsible enough to not let you be a complete idiot and he doesn't have a target on the back of his head. Plus, he's an unbiased party and can give you an opinion you probably haven't heard already," Roxas said. Sora thought about it for a moment before nodding.

"I wouldn't even know how to ask him," the brunette said.

"Offer to buy him a beer, that usually works," Axel said. Roxas laughed a bit.

"I can try…" Sora agreed. Roxas reached over and patted him on the back.

"It can't hurt anything," he said. Sora nodded and pushed himself off the bed.

"Thanks guys. I need to think a bit, but I'll get back to you soon," he said and made his way to the door. Roxas and Axel bid their farewells as he left and gave each other a wary look when the door shut behind him quietly.

"This is one of those situations where I have to wonder if it's really the best thing to yank people from their lives for the Carrier's own benefit," Axel said. Roxas shrugged.

"I can't say for sure if it is or isn't, but I like to think it turned out well enough for us," the blonde said and reached across the bed and laced his fingers with the redhead's. The Carrier smiled and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Yeah, but everyone's different. For some it starts out good and declines as time passes, and some are like us and it starts out rough and gets better. Riku's track record has been the former. Out of all of our friends, he's the oldest with the youngest Charge in terms of age and how long they've been together. That's not necessarily something to be proud of. He knows it, too. Demyx gets all upset because he's had Zexion for so long and they haven't made any progress, but at least they've had each other the entire time. I pity Riku the most in that regard because he's on his fourth Charge and he still hasn't had any progress. I bitch about my own delays but it's a different type than what they had. I'm not alone anymore so I can't really complain anymore, either," Axel said. Roxas gave him a small smile.

"It's true. We're working as fast as we can and getting results as quickly as possible so you don't have a whole lot to whine about, do you?"

"And I'm happy I can stop doing it, honestly," the redhead said and reclined back on the mattress. "Being down in the dumps and feeling sorry for myself was way more effort than just accepting things and moving forward. Hopefully Sora learns that soon and picks himself up a little. He was sort of digging himself a mental hole with all of that blame and self pity."

"It doesn't suit him," the blonde added. He scooted closer to Axel and lay next to him and rested his face on the Carrier's chest. The redhead hugged him loosely and rubbed his back.

"Hopefully he and Riku can pull themselves together enough before we have to leave on our trip," Axel said. Roxas nodded.

"I hope so too."

"Did you hear about that compatibility percentage?" Axel asked, changing the atmosphere with a sly inflection. He gave the blonde a light nudge and Roxas looked to him.

"What about it?" he asked casually.

"Hundred percent isn't a big deal?"

"It would've been had we figured this out when I was flipping my shit, but now? I sort of already felt it. So, yeah it's reassuring, but Ventus isn't a threat to me anymore."

"Oh. Sweet, let's have a threesome," the redhead blurted with a grin. Roxas immediately sat up and punched him in the gut. To Axel's surprise the force was enough to knock the wind out of him and he let out a cough and held his midsection and rolled to the side.

"Don't say stupid things," Roxas ordered grumpily and left the bed to resume his sorting.

* * *

Sora did something very un-Sora like. He pulled a Roxas and sat in his room for two days, thinking. Riku had tried to talk to him on several occasions but the brunette ignored his attempts. He couldn't decide what to do for himself. He didn't really have a problem talking to Cloud once he could figure out how to approach the abrasive blonde, but the remainder of his problems weren't so easy to settle on. He still couldn't figure out what he wanted to do. He still felt relatively betrayed by Riku, but he could blame himself just as easily. Needless to say, Riku ruined the image Sora had of him with his confession and the brunette needed time to piece it all back together again. When the third day approached, he still didn't know but he figured talking to Cloud was at least a step in the right direction.

"Um…" the brunette trailed when he stuck his head inside Leon and Cloud's lab. Cloud promptly ignored him and let Leon deal with it. The Carrier looked to him with a raised brow.

"What did you need, Sora?" he asked calmly. Sora had partially expected them to show some sort of residual emotion over the loss of their fetus, but it seemed like it never happened based on their casual demeanors.

"I was hoping I could talk to Cloud, actually," the brunette said timidly, casting a wary gaze over to the taller blonde. He could see Cloud quirk a curious brow around the Extractor's microscope's eyepiece. He took a moment to finish what he was doing before he gave Sora any attention.

"What?" Cloud asked.

"If you have a minute, I wanted to ask you few things. Axel said I should offer to buy you a beer but I never not the impression you liked to start drinking at two in the afternoon," Sora blurted. Cloud pushed his brows together in a scowl and looked to Leon. The Carrier shrugged and went off to resume working. The taller blonde let out an impatient sigh before heading over to Sora. He pushed the doors open and headed out, holding it open for the brunette as he followed after him. Standing around in the hall wasn't the most ideal environment for Sora but apparently it was all Cloud was willing to do because he stopped and leaned against the wall with an expectant expression.

"What is it?" the blonde asked. The brunette swallowed thickly as the words became a jumbled mess in his head again. He berated himself for not rehearsing some long and involved speech so Cloud didn't think he was too much of an idiot.

"Um…well…I—that is…" he stuttered anxiously.

"Spit it out, I have work to do."

"I—well…you see…"

"Come back when you can speak a coherent sentence," Cloud said and pushed himself away from the wall and headed back towards the lab.

"No! Wait!" Sora cried and grabbed his hand. Cloud froze and looked over his shoulder to the brunette. Sora was too busy becoming instantly fascinated with the taller blonde's hand to notice the icy glare he was receiving. "Holy shit, dude. You're hands are like… baby ass soft," the brunette blurted, a tiny amused smile ghosting his lips. Cloud yanked his hand away.

"That happens after a hundred and forty years of not doing any manual labor. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about or was there something else? Because if you're done, I have shit I need to do."

"No, that's not what it was. But I suddenly feel way more comfortable knowing you have hands that could rival the texture of kitten fur," Sora snorted. Cloud's eyes narrowed into an unamused scowl. "Right. Sorry," the brunette amended with a nervous laugh. "I wanted to ask you how you how you can…I don't know how to put it…be you? I guess? How do you just not give a shit about people and how can you be so…blank all the time?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Cloud asked.

"I… well…I'm having problems with individuality, I guess. I need to know how to be my own person and you're like…the most confident guy I know so I was hoping we could talk I can try to understand you more? Is that stupid?"

"That's totally stupid."

"Oh. But you're not willing to humor me?"

"If you have a specific question you need to ask me, I can do that. But I'm not about to spill my entire life story on you with the hopes that you find something enlightening about it that teaches you to be less of a pussy."

"Well you don't have to get insulting about it."

"But if I speak the truth, then it's not really an insult, just a fact. You come to me with your personal business and dump it on my shoes and expect me to help you fix it? No fucking way. Number one, I don't do that bullshit unless you're my kid. Number two, I don't give a damn how unsure of yourself you are. I couldn't even help you with it if I wanted to. It's something you need to figure out for yourself. But if you let other people dictate how you should run your life by constantly asking questions and not accepting the answers, then you're never going to get anywhere."

"How do I not care what other people think though? Isn't that what it's all about?"

"If you live your life working to constantly please everyone, then you're not really living _your_ life. If you have something you really want to do and you're not sure what everyone will think, do it anyway. It's their problem if they can't handle you acting on your own and being your own person. But in order to be your own person, you have to figure out what you like and stick with it."

"But…what if you upset someone by doing what you want?"

"Who are you worried about upsetting?"

"Riku…" Sora trailed.

"And just what could you do that would make Riku hate you or dislike you any?"

"…I'm not sure."

"Okay well, don't you think it's sort of important in a relationship to know what your partner approves and disapproves? Leon probably doesn't like it when I go to strip clubs but it doesn't reduce him to a puddle of angst and self-pity when I do. If he was really _that_ offended that I go watch tits jiggle around a pole then I would stop. It's always been my experience that in order to be happy with your relationship, whatever it is: friendship, family, or otherwise, you have to be content with yourself before you can worry about what the others think. If that means hurting some feelings along the way in order to obtain that internal self satisfaction, then so be it. It's human nature to be concerned about self preservation over all else, and when you can make sure yourself is secure, then you can worry about the other party. If Riku is being that overbearing and he's forcing you to conform to his mold, then tell him to fuck off and do your thing. Grow some balls."

"Riku isn't overbearing or forcing me to do anything…"

"Then what's the problem?" Cloud asked, his paper-thin patience reaching its limit.

"He did some stuff in the past that he decided to wait to tell me about until now and I'm sort of angry with him for it and myself for trusting him so easily and letting him get to me and make me upset about stuff that wasn't even my fault."

"He blamed you for something?"

"Well no… not exactly—"

"Then why do you make it sound like he made it your fault?"

"He didn't, I thought it was and it wasn't until he told me about what he did that I realized I had no reason to worry so much."

"So you're saying it was all self inflicted."

"I…uh…yeah. I guess."

"So aside from you acting like a bitch and wallowing in your own mental uncertainty, what part of that makes Riku look bad?"

"…Um," the brunette deadpanned.

"So it _is_ your fault, then."

"Well he could've told me sooner!" Sora cried in paltry defense.

"People make mistakes. If that's the worst he's ever done to you, I'd say you're pretty damn selfish for not looking past it. Are you that fucking miserable with him that you'd hold a lapse in judgment against him? That he's tortured you so badly that you can never forgive him? If Leon and I never forgave each other for any of our wrongdoings, then we wouldn't be here right now. We wouldn't have everything we have and I'm pretty sure we would both be fairly unhappy. Possibly even dead."

"Wh—but…that's not—"

"I'm done, Sora. Figure the rest of it out yourself. If you ask me for help and you can't just accept what I say instead of arguing with it, then I'm afraid I have no time for you. Take my advice and either ignore it or use it, but don't bitch at me," Cloud spat and left the brunette in the hall to himself.


	78. Chapter 78

**Chapter 78**

" _Oh sweet baby Christmas Jesus that's just about the best thing I've felt in ten years_ ," Axel moaned into Roxas' earpiece. The Carrier, in all of his orange and black glory was prostrated before the blonde as the Charge vigorously scratched at his ribcage akin to something one would do with the family dog. Only, this dog was an enormous tiger and it could talk to him and make completely inappropriate sexual connotations at him because no one else could hear.

"You saw _Talladega Nights_?" Roxas asked with obvious amusement.

" _I did. It was my favorite movie for a long time. Then 'Avatar' came out and I about wet my pants and fell in love with an overly tall gangly blue lady with sparkly skin._ "

"I didn't get a chance to see that movie before we crossed over. But I remember the previews so I know what you're talking about."

" _Aw…I'm sorry. We should get Terra to help us cross back over so you can see it. Might have to rob a bank to get the money first but it'd be worth it._ "

"I'm alright. James Cameron is a talented guy but I'm not going to commit a crime to see _Titanic II: Now We have Blue Skin and Tails and Way Less Boats_ ," the blonde said. Axel laughed. Roxas spread his hands farther apart and moved down either side of the cat's chest. The Carrier helped by rolling himself onto his back so his entire underside was exposed and allowed his Charge's hands further access.

" _Ooo-ooh god…_ " Axel sighed under the ministrations. Roxas made a smug smirk and he shook his head a bit.

"I'm pretty sure this isn't sexual in any way shape or form so could you stop making it sound like I'm molesting you? It's a little disturbing when you're like this."

" _I will in a minute. Lower,_ " the Carrier urged. Roxas hesitated a bit before he obliged and scratched under the bottoms of Axel's ribs and a bit onto the soft fluff of his belly. " _You need to do this to my Implant. You have no fucking idea how amazing it feels. I can't feel my toes._ "

"That's wonderful. If I do, you have to reciprocate."

" _Gladly_."

"Hey Roxas," a new yet familiar voice chimed. The blonde startled and looked behind himself to see Zack. The raven haired Charge waved and gave him a kind smile. "What's happening? Long time no see," he asked. Tifa was beside him, in her Primal form. She padded over to Axel and looked down curiously at his upside down face, her obsidian pelt glittering like an oil slick as she moved. Roxas had forgotten about the woman's melanin allele. Her Primal really was elegant with its addition, but he forced himself to pay attention to Zack.

"Um, a whole lot actually. I haven't talked to you guys in months…god. I feel like an ass," the blonde laughed. Zack shrugged and went to sit next to him on the grass. The four of them were in the middle section of the track, which was just an open expanse of grass in the center of the rubber paved loop. Before they left for the trip, Roxas needed to recheck all of Axel's statistics to make sure everything was in order and he was fit to travel. They were already finished, and were taking the time to relax a bit before they headed back inside, but the visitors were a welcomed surprise.

"It's not like I made a huge effort to stay in touch, either. No hard feelings," Zack assured with a slight grin.

"How's your Carrier? Last we spoke you said he'd be out in six months. It has to be getting close," Roxas asked. Axel, still on his back, picked his head up to look at Tifa. He rolled back onto his side and tapped Roxas' knee gently with a paw.

" _Unhook me,_ " he asked and opened his mouth. Roxas did as he was told and disconnected his earpiece from Axel's Link. The tiger picked himself up and playfully batted at Tifa a bit before jogging off, encouraging a chase. She went after him.

"He is. Around this time next month he should be ready," Zack said.

"Are you guys excited?"

"Extremely."

"And Yuffie?"

"She's hopeful. As are we, but she has things to worry about. Like whether or not he'll accept her. Tifa and I, as parents, don't have to worry about that because even if he hates us, he can't deny where he came from so we have the upper hand. Cloud said you guys aren't doing too shabby either."

"That's right," Roxas grinned. "We have eight at the moment."

"Holy shit! Congratulations! That's fantastic!" Zack cried with a wide smile. "Cloud made it sound like it was way less that what it is. But then again that may just be him. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's all him."

"Probably," the blonde said. Tifa let out a loud half-groan that pulled the pair of Charge's attention to her and Axel. The tiger had somehow flipped her over and was pushing her around with his face and front paws. Tifa writhed around trying to escape and retaliate but every time she managed to get a few inches away Axel wrapped a leg around her and pulled her back for more abuse. "Can I ask you a question?" Roxas asked abruptly.

"Sure," Zack said.

"Do you ever get jealous of other guys getting close to Tifa?"

"No. I think if she was a little more responsive to them in any way outside of a platonic relationship, then I'd be more concerned. Plus, even if she seems really close to another Carrier, she really isn't in that way. I've never heard of anyone straying away from their Charge to another Carrier for that kind of intimate companionship. Why do you ask? Is Axel overly affectionate with her and I'm just missing it?"

"No, but I have noticed that whenever they see each other they seem to pick up right where they left off regardless of how long it's been between visits. I was just wondering if they ever had anything before or if I was just over analyzing things again."

"Tifa's mothering instincts tend to leak out and get all over everyone she knows. She tried to pull some of that on me for a while and I eventually had to tell her to back off a bit. She was there for a lot of Axel's dark times when he was younger and I think that his responsiveness to her nurturing was what brought them together more than let's say… her and Leon. She's known Leon way longer than she's known Axel but Leon wouldn't let her baby him any so she sort of lost that additional interest. I think it's funny. She kind of has an inadvertent 'you need to be my child otherwise we can only be kind of friends' clause to her relationships. But if Leon ever came to her asking for help she'd drop whatever she was doing and help him, I'm sure."

"Ah. I see. It makes sense. When your entire purpose seems to be centered on having babies and being a mom, it's probably difficult to separate friends from children after a while."

"Eh, I wouldn't go that far. She's a bit more extreme than a lot of the other female Carriers though, I will admit. Some of them have kids and push them off on their sisters so they can do other things, or they're more concerned with their Charges than they are the actual project. I'm lucky to have the best of both worlds. Tifa's entire life is focused solely on me and the kids. She hardly ever has any inkling to much of anything else and I'm perfectly okay with that."

"Axel's the same way, now that I think about it."

"Whether or not you can attribute that to Tifa, I have no idea. I often wonder how a lot of the Carriers can have such high morals when it comes to their dedication to their work and their Charges without having any parental guidance in their early years. Last time I checked, glass tubes don't exactly make the best parents," Zack said, watching Axel and Tifa intently. They had stopped wrestling and were lounging together. Axel had his head down on the grass and Tifa was busying herself attempting to lick a spot off of his forehead. Roxas was a little confused as to why she was doing that, and he had the sudden urge to go over and see if Axel had mud on him or if she was licking him just for the sake of licking him.

"In the beginning I could see where a lot of the parenting issues would be more prevalent but after having so many Carriers together in one place, I think they just…parent each other. Probably not intentionally, but they support each other, definitely," the blonde said. Zack nodded his agreement and they shared a moment of comfortable silence. Tifa stopped licking Axel long enough to butt foreheads with him. She held against him for a second or two before rubbing her jaw line along his face properly. From where he was sitting, Roxas couldn't see much of the tiger's expression but he could imagine Axel either falling asleep, or wearing a mask of placid contentment.

"How's Sora doing? I haven't seen him in a while, either," Zack asked.

"He and Riku have been having issues but I haven't talked to him in a couple days. It could've changed," Roxas said.

* * *

Things hadn't changed. They didn't get worse, per se, but there definitely wasn't any improvement. Sora stayed holed up in his room, contemplating the mysteries of his young life and deciding what he wanted to do with himself. Meanwhile, Riku was declining. The situation hadn't changed but the longer Sora didn't talk to him, the more the Carrier felt he had to prepare himself for the inevitable. He was reaching the end of his line and had spent the majority of the last week trying to come up with a plan for himself once Sora left him.

Riku didn't expect a lot from anybody. History had dictated to him that he needed to get used to being dumped and left alone for years at a time and after one hundred and eighty years of existence he thought he was growing accustomed to it. He was wrong, of course, and he felt like a fool for thinking it was going to be different with Sora. He didn't hold any ill will towards the brunette personally though, and took all the responsibility on his shoulders because he genuinely believed he deserved it after acting so selfishly. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.

He heaved a heavy sigh as he paced back and fourth in front of the six gestational chambers that held his siblings. So far, things were stable. It was the one positive he could hold onto as the rest of his life crumbled around him. Riku had never paid much attention to the merger between human infant and Carrier Blank before. He found it hard to believe that the immaculate lives in front of him had looked like mutated Siamese twins less than a week ago, when the Blanks literally began to absorb their human infant counterparts through their skin in a blatant display of macrophysical osmosis. It was even harder to believe that the unaccountable uncertainties of human existence influenced their health just as much as a fatal disease did.

The invisible line that tied everyone together in the background of the so-called existence of 'life' was just as important as the statistics, the science, the math, and the chemicals. The immeasurable things that surrounded every person had just as much impact. Sure, the Carrier Project needed physical genetic evidence to work in principle. Life can be created when one smashed two relatively likable cells together, but things were much more difficult if the two parties involved didn't have the emotion to nurture it.

There was a theory. There were the physical chemicals that the body produced to feel a certain way (serotonin, melatonin, endorphins, etc.) and the neurons in the brain that registered them. The idea was that everyone has their own brand of those chemicals (a hormonal thumbprint as it were) and how they interacted with someone else's chemicals was a decent judge of how well those people would interact on a similarly chemical level. How well their DNA mixed, how well they got along, how easily they could trust each other, how healthy their children would be, so on and so fourth. But, it was a fickle thing, because just like how hormone levels changed, so did the people that made them. _That_ was the compatibility percentage. Or so the theory goes.

Riku understood it. After Jasmine died he had studied it for decades in order to understand and to give himself some closure. Her death was abrupt and it was only until after she was gone that he realized the warning signs. She left no note, no explanation with any of her friends, nothing. He had been out in the city purchasing something for her that she had asked for when his Signet alerted him to her asphyxiation. Even though he ran full speed back to the facility, she had already been dead for over an hour by the time he got there; hanging from his ceiling for him to find.

As if that hadn't been bad enough, Riku had the responsibility of cutting her down and getting rid of her. The Committee had little sympathy for him and simply sent him a large metal drum to stuff her in; similar to the canisters they had used to dispose of the dozens of fetuses they had lost together. There was no ceremony, there was no respect, there was nothing but his silent mourning and the orders to get back to work. Life, though the centric idea of the Carrier Project, was also disposable like a tissue. A fickle thing that was influenced by the physical and the metaphysical.

Jasmine had taught him a lot. He had lost one Charge before her and purposefully kept his emotional distance from the Charge that had come after her and it proved beneficial when she died in stasis. He was upset, yes, but he was able to pick himself up and try again. He tried to keep away from Sora as much as he could on that personal level, just in case it happened again, but he couldn't. He was so thankful to finally have a companion that seemed to understand and love him enough to stay. But…Sora didn't actually love him and Riku was fooling himself. He blamed himself.

But he wasn't entirely convinced that things wouldn't be different. He had siblings now. They couldn't interact with him just yet, but they were there and they looked like Sora. They were beautiful, and even if Riku couldn't succeed, he felt they could. It was comforting to know. The snowy Carrier doubted he could continue on and go though the Charge selection process again, but so long as the brothers and sisters survived, he wouldn't be missed.

Having a partially synthetic body that was kept in check by what amounted to an internal computer system made suicide a very easy and painless process. Euthanasia was a common practice for the Technicians to use when a Carrier got out of control and lost human sensibilities, but anyone could do it. Carriers themselves did it if they felt their job was finished and they were ready to die with their Charges. Sometimes tranquilizers were used, sometimes Carriers got too sick in the Diagnostic Care Center and the chemicals were introduced there, but there was one other way: the one accessible to everyone. The Catalogue terminal could flick the switch from 'on' to 'off' in a Carrier in the blink of an eye. It was instantaneous, painless, and mess free. Riku considered this option when he was certain he would have to find another Charge.

He kept telling himself everything would be fine so long as his siblings survived. His project wouldn't close, and the Technicians wouldn't have anything to complain about either even if they did die. They could use the DNA from the infants to make clones and start up again in twenty years. It was simple enough. Sora would be happier at the very least. Riku's unrequited emotions wouldn't plague him anymore and he could live freely to do whatever he pleased. It would be okay.

"What are you doing?" came a stern, unmoving voice from behind him suddenly. Riku startled in his seat and looked behind himself. He had been mentally preparing himself for his end as he sat in front of the Catalogue terminal; the words 'Euthanasia Program' illuminated on the screen in very obvious bold lettering. Leon had apparently come in at some point while he was lost in his thoughts, and he didn't look happy.

"Nothing," Riku responded nonchalantly though his heart was racing.

"Doesn't look like 'nothing.'"

"It doesn't matter what it looks like."

"But it looks like you need to be put on watch, which is something I never thought I'd have to say to you. I thought you had a better head on your shoulders," Leon said calmly. He reached over Riku's head and typed away on his keyboard for a moment, exiting out of the program. Riku sighed a bit and sat quietly until everything was closed. He unplugged his Link when he was able to but didn't make a move or eye contact afterward.

"You don't have to do this. Everything will be fine regardless of whether or not I'm here," he said simply.

"Yeah, you can say that, but then I'd have to look after your whiny ass in the afterlife once I die too and I don't need that. I've already got Cloud's bullshit for eternity. Come on," Leon said and grabbed Riku's wrist and pulled him out of his chair. The snowy Carrier trailed after him as they left his lab and headed off for Leon's.

"Where's Cloud?" Riku asked when he took in the empty room.

"Stasis. Guess who gets to stay occupied by picking up his slack," Leon said and nudged his friend towards the Extractor. He didn't make any additional moves to force Riku into doing the work and left him to check the Gestational Terminal's progress scans. Riku watched him quietly for a few moments before he heaved another sigh and looked to the Extractor. He hadn't even considered what Leon's reaction would be were he to kill himself, or any of his other friends' for that matter. He immediately felt even more foolish, but kept it to himself.

"Leon?" he asked after a few moments of silence between them. The russet Carrier didn't turn to him.

"Hmm?" he hummed in response, which was about the most Riku was going to get.

"Don't tell Sora."

"Hadn't planned on it," Leon responded with complete seriousness. Riku nodded to himself a bit before heading over to the storage cylinders that housed Leon and Cloud's samples. He selected a couple before heading over to the Extractor.

"And Leon?" he asked again.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"No problem."

* * *

"You know, if anyone saw you like this, they'd probably have an aneurysm. And I'd be in the corner laughing at them going 'I told you he's different!' as they bleed out of their ears," Demyx said simply.

"Yes well, you've corrupted me," Zexion responded as he shuffled around in a special box he and the sandy blonde kept in the back of his armoire. Demyx giggled as the pieces of metal clinked together with his Charges' movements. The anticipation was killing him but he did as he was told and stayed on the bed. Zexion eventually threw a pair of handcuffs across the room and they landed harmlessly on the mattress a few feet away from him. They had tried various other restraints before but the handcuffs were the only ones strong enough to not break if Demyx got a little over zealous. When it was Zexion's turn to be strapped to the bed his preference was silk ties. They were much easier on the skin. Demyx's jovial curiosity slowly started to dwindle the longer Zexion took looking in the box though.

"What's missing?" the sandy blonde asked confusedly. Restraining his hands was enough torture, in his opinion.

"What happened to the ring?" Zexion asked.

"Aw I don't want that thing! Come on!" Demyx whined.

"But I like the faces you make with it on," his Charge retorted calmly. Demyx pushed his brows together and grumbled a bit under his breath. Zexion chuckled to himself as he kept searching. "Do you suddenly regret telling me I could do what I wanted tonight?"

"Yes. Very much," Demyx huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You'll be fine. Fifteen minutes. I promise," Zexion assured.

"You only say that because if it was any longer I'd be sterile."

"I can neither confirm nor deny that statement."

"You're such a dirty little sex kitten. I love it," Demyx twittered with a grin as he threw himself back on the bed and rolled around on the blankets with his excitement.

"I blame you," Zexion said.

"And I'm perfectly okay with that. I take full responsibility."

"Yes well…did you hide it from me?"

"No," Demyx said. Zexion sent him a sharp look over his shoulder. "What? I didn't!" he vehemently denied.

"Well where did it run off to, then?" Zexion questioned as he pushed the box aside and began digging through the racks of clothing. "Never mind. My apologies, it fell out of the box," he amended as he found the elusive adjustable circle of metal hiding in one of his shoes. It was technically two rings held together by an adjustable band between them; one to loop around the shaft and one to hug the testicles. They had specifically gone out and retrieved that model because it kept the scrotum from retracting inward during orgasm and the added pressure, they found, made for a very intense sensation.

"See? I don't hate it _that_ much," Demyx giggled.

"I didn't actually think you did," the steely-haired Charge said and made his way to the bed. He picked up the set of handcuffs and shook them in Demyx's direction. "Behind your back or over your head?" he asked. The sandy blonde pursed his lips as he thought about it. He scooted to the middle of the bed and reached his arms over his head and waited.

Zexion's bed, like all of the beds at the facility, didn't have posts or a headboard for them to use. As a result, if anyone wanted to restrain someone to the bed, they had to pull the mattress and box spring down a few inches so the restrained party could bend their arms back at the elbows and reach the metal frame underneath. The tradeoff was that the clanking and grinding of metal on metal when the restrained party struggled or moved made a lot of additional noise. Unless, of course, you're Zexion and you enjoy cloth restraints more. But Demyx didn't have many options. His strength got the better of him more often than not.

Once his arms were successfully bound to the bed frame, Demyx couldn't keep the doofy grin off his face. Any sort of new idea in the bedroom usually came from him. Zexion simply loved him enough to go along and try it a few times but Demyx always had ulterior motives. He knew Zexion was an addictive personality in that, he tended to get hooked on things that felt good or gave him contentment. Books were a good example of that but Demyx didn't get much pleasure out of watching his Charge read so he tended to push the envelope in other places. But Demyx wasn't stupid. He knew Zexion's past with addiction and purposefully kept the focus on things they could do together or in a group so they could keep an eye on everything. Plus, the more practice Zexion had with something, the more proficient he became. It was a huge bonus for Demyx when those somethings involved him and the bed.

Zexion kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks before moving to the side table and quickly retrieving a bottle of lube from the drawer. Demyx watched him carefully, wiggling his toes idly as he waited. He would've like to being disrobing himself as Zexion did but he couldn't. Once completely nude Zexion walked across the surface of the bed and placed either leg on Demyx's sides and sat on his stomach. The Carrier let out a grunt from the weight but Zexion ignored it. He purposefully took his time running hid hands over Demyx's chest, smoothing out the wrinkles in his t-shirt. He stood the bottle of lube up on the Carrier's sternum, using it like a table and took a moment to turn the label a certain way. It didn't really matter which way the label pointed but the extra delay added another frustrated wrinkle to the crease between Demyx's brows that Zexion took great pleasure in seeing.

"Legs up, knees together," the Charge said firmly and Demyx let out an impatient huff as he pulled his limbs up, planting his feet firmly apart as they bent at his knees. Zexion scooted backwards and used them as something to recline against, while the sandy blonde's abdomen served as his seat. He spread his legs open more so Demyx could see everything before he reached forward and took up the bottle of lube again and deposited a dollop in his hand. He set it aside and squished the liquid around in his hand to coat his fingers. Demyx's confusion was immediate and obvious.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing much," Zexion said as his hands moved inward again and he began to stroke himself. It didn't take very long for him to become fully erect and Demyx expected him to stop and move onto something else. It wasn't until it became obvious that Zexion had no intentions of stopping when he started to struggle against the handcuffs, the loud scraping of the metal chain against the bed frame ringing in his ears.

"Wh—wait, what about me?" Demyx whined worriedly when Zexion made a point to add a slight moan to his display.

"What _about_ you?" the Charge asked breathlessly. Demyx's mouth dropped open.

"Oh don't you even…" he growled, sending Zexion a glare.

"Don't do what?"

"Ignore me like that. That's just evil."

"Oh. Well I'll apologize in advance then," Zexion said simply. He slouched more in his place and slid a hand further down and pressed a couple of fingers between his cheeks. Demyx gasped at his audacity and yanked against his restraints.

"Not funny, Zex! That's enough!"

"You give in so easily," Zexion chided.

"You're upsetting me, stop it."

"I don't hear my watch; you're in no immediate danger."

"Beep beep beep! Come on!" Demyx whined and let out a frustrated groan. He craned his neck and pulled his shoulder more towards his face. He closed his eyes and tried his best to hide behind his arm. The visual torture Zexion was putting him through was enough, but compounding everything by not being able to touch him was maddening. That, and Demyx still had his clothes on and his shorts felt incredibly tight. Zexion adjusted his positioning and leaned forward again. He pulled his hands away from himself and balanced on all fours above the sandy blonde. Demyx peeked out of his shirt sleeve to a view of Zexion's face hardly an inch away from his own with a smile turning up the corners of his mouth ever so slightly.

"You didn't really think I'd forget about you, did you? I was attempting to prep myself for you. You want me to bleed?"

"No…" Demyx trailed quietly.

"Did you want to stop?"

"No, I just thought you were serious."

"Sarcasm isn't my forte, you know that."

"Yeah, I remember. Sorry. Continue," Demyx said and grinned again.

"No need to apologize. If I was in your situation, I'd be frustrated too," Zexion said and scooted himself backwards. Demyx let his legs slide flat again and his Charge continued on back until he could get at the tops of the Carrier's shorts. He quickly undid the fastenings and pulled the fabric down the sandy blonde's thighs. Demyx let out a relieved sigh as he was released from his strangling cloth confines. But the sensation was short lived because Zexion reached for the bottle of lube again and liberally coated his neglected length before taking up the ring. He threaded the Carrier's shaft through the first band before carefully pushing his testicles through the other. With a firm tug on the middle connecting band, the ring clicked and tightened to form a snug fit. Demyx huffed, which made Zexion smile.

"You're awful," the Carrier grumbled.

"You're the one who suggested we start taking turns again. Then you made your problems worse by telling me I could have what I wanted. Don't complain simply because you finally realized your mistake," Zexion chuckled and stroked Demyx several times, coaxing more blood to come through and become trapped by the metal, engorging the sensitive vessels and nerves. The Carrier let out a cry in response and wriggled his hips in his place. Zexion pushed himself up onto all fours again and moved back up Demyx's body enough so his hips were level with his own. He pressed downward, sliding the sandy blonde's length between his cheeks and rubbing against him, keeping his eyes on his lover's face and watching his expression contort between anger, frustration, and pleasure. Demyx was able to force himself to stay still up until Zexion took it a step further. The Charge reached under himself and grasped Demyx's length and leaned it downward and pressed his hips back against the tip, creating pressure that felt like Demyx was allowed entry but not actually getting that far. The sandy blonde's hips bucked when he couldn't stand it anymore and immediately Zexion released him and sat up, effectively stopping everything.

"Oh my god, Zex you're killing me…" the Carrier groaned and threw his head back against the pillows with a growl.

"I know, but if you get too eager, you're liable to hurt me."

"I'm trying but—"

"Stop it, we're wasting time. Control yourself and it won't last as long," Zexion scolded. Demyx scowled but sucked in a deep breath through his nose to calm himself. Once he was sufficiently cooled off, Zexion resumed right where he left off and began to press Demyx's tip against his entrance a bit more. He wouldn't take more than a half inch at a time to allow his body to adjust and it was driving his Carrier insane. Demyx writhed beneath him as his hands gripped the bed frame to prevent himself from resisting against the cuffs too much and hurting himself.

"Ah! God! Stop!" Demyx cried. "Zex, my hands. Please. My hands!"

"Please? Stop? Oh my I've broken you so easily," Zexion chuckled as he gently rocked back, taking Demyx into himself completely. Demyx moaned loudly at the sudden warmth and attempted to lift his hips up and begin to move properly. Zexion pushed himself up onto his knees, quickly withdrawing again. "Don't hurt me, now."

"Oh fuck off; I've never hurt you before regardless of how hard I went. Don't give me that shit," Demyx spat angrily. Zexion quirked a brow. It was a rare occurrence that the Carrier talked to him like that.

"Well that's not a very nice tone."

"You're killing me! I'm dying!" Demyx sputtered. "Oh look… here come the angels to take me away…" he trailed, gazing up at the ceiling. "They look like Zexion. The one I feel in love with, not this evil incubus that he's been replaced with. This must be his malicious clone, Sexion."

"Really, Demyx?" Zexion asked blandly.

"Yes. They look similar but I'm sure that if I threw an encyclopedia across the room, Sexion wouldn't bat an eye. Zexion would run after it like a Frisbee."

"…I don't read encyclopedias."

"Then the phone book or whatever. I don't care. I'm dying."

"Well then I'll arrange a nice funeral for you. But for now, I still have use for you," Zexion said calmly and lowered himself again. He quickly sheathed Demyx inside of himself again, pulling the sandy blonde's attention away from his pathetic display and sealing it away behind a loud gasp and a toe curling moan. Zexion pressed his hands into the Carrier's abdomen for stability as he slowly moved his hips along the heated length, purposefully taking his time to feel every detail. He continued until Demyx began struggling against his cuffs again. The desire to feel the Carrier's hands on him crept in and he took his time to withdraw again and crawl up Demyx's body. He leaned down and captured the Carrier's lips with his own in a deep fiery kiss. Demyx tried to pull his body up and curl around to enter Zexion again but the Charge avoided it. Instead, he kept the sandy blonde's attention averted with his tongue while his hand crept up above his head.

The tables swiftly turned once the handcuffs clicked and opened. Demyx's arms swung down in his hurriedness and quickly shoved Zexion to the side. The Charge startled at the sudden force but he didn't have much time to recuperate. Demyx was quick to dispose of the remainder of his clothing and nearly tackled Zexion into the mattress. He crushed their mouths together, stealing his lover's breath right from his lungs. Zexion reacted immediately and wrapped his arms around the sandy blonde's neck and his legs around his waist. Demyx wasted little time in thrusting back into Zexion and they both broke away from the other's lips just enough to belt out tandem screams of pleasure.

They clung to each other's skin as the Carrier's feverish movements picked up and shook them both. Incomprehensible guttural sounds escaped them and littered the atmosphere with sweet nothings that only the other could understand. Sweat dripped out of every pore as the effort to keep the pace wore at them. Demyx's hand snaked between their bodies and he grasped Zexion's length and pumped his fist in time with his thrusts, coaxing the climax out of his lover quickly. It wasn't until after Zexion finished that Demyx remembered the metal ring restricting him. He pulled his hips back enough to grab hold of the connecting bar and clicked the release. The pressure subsided immediately, rocketing a pleasurable relief up his spine that he rode during the last few thrusts into his Charge he could muster. His vision blurred as he released into Zexion, his breath catching in his throat almost instantaneously and cutting off his shout.

"Holy fuck…" Demyx sighed shakily as he grasped Zexion's thighs with quaking fingers and his legs slowly turned to liquid. The Charge lay sprawled out on his back, attempting to catch his breath. He pulled his wrist up to his face to check his watch.

"Take it off, we're almost at fifteen minutes," Zexion panted. The Carrier blearily blinked a few times before nodding deftly and pulling back enough to sit. He gently removed the rings and tossed them aside before flopping onto his back tiredly. Zexion pulled himself up and turned himself around so he could drape himself on top of his lover's torso. Demyx hugged him loosely and rubbed his back gently.

* * *

Sora stared wide eyed at Zexion's bedroom door. He was frozen mid-knock and pale from all the he had suddenly heard. He had originally gone there looking for Demyx, to ask his opinion on some things relating to Riku, but he had the sudden urge to run back to his own room and hide. The mental imagery of whatever it was the pair could _possibly_ be doing together not only made him feel incredibly awkward, but he found himself wondering how the passerbys heard his and Riku's times together. Or if they did at all. He didn't live in the same hallway as they did so he barely ever heard Demyx and Zexion, unlike Axel and Roxas who were only a few doors away, but now that he was far more acquainted than he ever needed to be, he didn't want Demyx's advice anymore. He left quietly.

* * *

Sora didn't come out of his room for much until two days before everyone was scheduled to leave for the ecosystem domes together. He spent a day retesting all of Riku's statistics, like what Roxas needed to do with Axel, but they had little contact otherwise. Meals together were brief and quiet, not to mention horribly tense. Leon kept his word and didn't say anything to Sora about Riku's dark mentality over his own life, but it was going against the russet Carrier's better judgment. He felt Sora should know, but he also knew it wasn't his place. Riku could handle himself. Hopefully.

Everything was packed as per Saix's suggestion, including the additional emotional baggage, and it was finally time to head to Dome 814 for a plane ride regardless of how prepared Sora and Riku were.


	79. Chapter 79

**Chapter 79**

Roxas nearly jumped out his skin when Axel let out a particularly effeminate squeal and dashed across the front yard of the facility. Roxas had never had a time where he had looked at Axel and said to himself 'man, that douchebag is fucking gay as _hell_ ' without any other influence besides the Carrier's appearance. Axel wasn't like Marluxia and pink and frilly and girly on the outside, but right at that moment as the redhead skipped merrily across the dirt and grass towards Saïx, Roxas had to hold his old habitual bigotry at bay. After all, the blonde was just as homosexual as Axel was by that point in their lives and he didn't have much room to talk.

"Saïx! My favorite person!" Axel twittered as he wrapped his strong arms around the Technician's upper body and crushed him to his chest. Saïx immediately started to resist and shoved at the redhead forcefully.

"Release me! I do not have time to play games 4x31!" the Technician barked angrily. Axel gasped loudly and held Saïx at arms length by his shoulders, gaping at him with his brows pushed together mournfully.

"Oh, you're cranky because Xemnas isn't here to take care of your diaper rash. No matter. Let mama hold you and make it better," the redhead cooed through pursed lips and squinting eyes. Before Saïx could pull away Axel literally swept him off his feet and cradled him like a child against his chest. The Technician flailed around attempting to get away. His cologne made Axel's nose burn.

"Unhand me! I'm not your child, you're not a woman, and even if you were I wouldn't touch you!" he bellowed with little success. Roxas had forgotten how much Axel liked to get under Saïx's skin, but the display was far from flattering. Once they were out in public, he sincerely hoped the redhead would stop. Sora and Riku exited the facility together with their cart of luggage and they both made disgruntled faces at Axel's behavior. Sora opened his mouth to say something but Roxas held up a hand to stop him and shook his head with a sigh. He tugged his and Axel's cart of luggage towards their transport vehicle.

The car itself was only large enough to hold six plus the driver, and was a vast improvement to the blank cubicles Roxas had traveled in before. It had windows, which were a novelty, but it also had a semi-comfortable looking interior like a normal car would. There were two rows of bench seats with accompanying seatbelts in addition to the drivers seat and one passenger seat. Each pair would have a row to themselves, but Roxas found it odd that Saïx didn't have anyone with him; any additional muscle to make sure things went smoothly. The trunk space was large though and Riku started loading the bags in without any prompting, ushering Roxas away to handle Axel, who was still cuddling on Saïx as if the man was a helpless waif, ignoring the burn in his nostrils. The redhead grinned to his Charge when he approached.

"Roxas, go go for a car ride?" Axel sputtered quickly before turning his gleaming smile to Saïx. "Time to go go for a car ride, Saïx!" he exclaimed and promptly dropped the Technician and skittered away to a door. He yanked it open and practically threw himself across the seat excitedly. Roxas hadn't even said anything to him to bring on such a reaction and he was thoroughly confused. The blonde offered a hand to Saïx, who had landed on his butt in the dirt with an angry growl. The Technician begrudgingly took it and Roxas helped pull him to his feet. With a muttered 'my thanks' Saïx stomped away, glaring at his tablet. Sora began helping Riku load the trunk and it gave Roxas an opportunity to slip inside the car with Axel to ask what the redhead had been smoking.

"What is your problem?" Roxas asked when he took his seat next to his Carrier. Axel smiled at him pleasantly, his hyperactive outbursts having subsided.

"Just being the thorn in Saïx's ass. Don't mind me. He doesn't have his electric pokey things anymore since Ansem whipped him a new one so I get to jab at him all I like and he can't hurt me. Sorry if I'm a little excited. The guy's a dick. He smells awful, too."

"What? How do you know he doesn't have his tazers and stuff anymore?"

"You apparently haven't been reading the news feed lately. The entire disciplinary system is being revamped. Quarantine can't exceed three weeks since most genetic samples degrade by that time, electrical defense weapons damage Links so they're gone too, and really all the Technicians can do is write reports to the Committee about inappropriate behavior anymore. All the stuff that hinders the programs directly has to be changed because it's not good for productivity in the long run. I'm sure they'll come up with more punishments eventually, because you really can't have everyone running amok, but for now it's sort of up in the air and I can probably get away with a lot of stuff."

"And what if we find out you _can't_ get away with it? Can you air on the side of caution a little? For my sake?" Roxas asked warily. Axel chuckled and leaned over to plant a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm not doing anything serious. I don't plan on doing more than what I've already done. It'll be fine," he assured.

"If you say so…" Roxas trailed. Saïx finished what he was doing on his tablet and threw the drivers side door open and took his seat with a huff. Around that time, Riku and Sora had finished packing the back and they took their seats in the available bench. Sora shoved Roxas' carry-on over the back of the seat and the blonde took it and put it on the floor. Riku and the brunette were quiet and the tension in the vehicle was stifling. But it only lasted a few minutes because Axel dove through the gap between the driver's seat and the passenger seat and started to mess with the buttons on the center console on the dash. The radio clicked on and four different stations worth of static rung through the speakers before Saïx laid a hand on Axel's face and shoved him away.

"Get back in your seat!" Saïx bellowed angrily. He whirled in his seat and sent Roxas an acidic glare. "Charge! Restrain your Carrier!"

"No need to get him involved, honey bun. I'm just fucking with you," Axel teased, sending the Technician a wide smile and small wave by wiggling his fingers at him. The vein in Saïx's forehead was about to burst from his skin as he glowered down at the redhead. He stared at the Carrier for a long moment before he let out a huff and stuck his hand in his pocket. He produced a set of keys and jammed one in the ignition and started the vehicle. He immediately slammed his foot on the accelerator and the car lurched forward, sending Axel backwards. The redhead yelped when the back of his head connected with the seat. Roxas reached down and grabbed Axel's shirt sleeve and attempted to help in into his seat but the Carrier wasn't having any of it. He gently pushed the blonde's hand away and leapt through the gap between the front seats and deposited himself in the passenger seat. Saïx slammed on the brake and Axel just barely caught himself from smacking into the dash board. Sora and Riku nearly slid out of their own seats while Roxas successfully flopped onto the floor.

"In the back," the Technician spat, leaning over his arm rest and glaring at the redhead with all his might.

"Not a chance," Axel said smugly.

"Come on Axel," Roxas urged, pulling himself back into his seat. The redhead looked to the blonde, pouted, then looked to Saïx. He repeated the process several times before letting out an exasperated sigh and scooting back between the seats to the one next to Roxas. The blonde made a point to click on his seatbelt this time and Riku and Sora followed suit. Axel put his on but slouched in his spot so much it almost didn't matter. Roxas prodded him in his shoulder and the Carrier looked to him. The blonde patted his lap and Axel's face split into a sudden grin as he twisted around in his seat to lay his face on Roxas' thighs. The Charge began rubbing behind the redhead's ear in a clear signal that said 'it's time to shut up and sleep for a bit.'

* * *

Much to Roxas' relief, Axel behaved himself for most of the trip to Dome 814. The blonde could see the anger and malcontent the redhead held against Saïx once they got through the gate and headed towards the airport. That was when the Technician told them that Axel and Riku needed to wear their collars. But the way Saïx said it, with a very amused and almost joyful inflection, was what made Axel's hate for him extremely obvious. The redhead's expression blanked while his eyes froze, angrily glaring at the Technician's face in the rearview mirror. The tension in his shoulders was unlike anything Roxas had ever seen on him before and it was clear that all the other times the blonde had thought he had seen Axel become angry were lies. All of the other times paled into mild annoyance with this new expression.

It wasn't until Roxas took in Saïx's face that he understood where it was all coming from. The Technician looked like he had just won the lottery. He didn't have an obvious outward smile but the light and slight glitter in his golden eyes was telling of just how much he was enjoying it all. Roxas's gaze flicked between Axel and Saïx a few times before it settled on the redhead again. He had the sinking feeling that something was going on that he didn't understand but his main concern was getting rid of that awful searing expression Axel was making. He reached up and pulled the redhead's face to look at him. The expression left in an instant once they locked eyes. Axel gave the blonde a small smile and apologetic eyes.

Axel pulled on his collar impatiently as he and Riku unloaded the bags onto the luggage cart the airport provided them. The Carriers were garnering all manner of strange looks from the general public that milled around them and Roxas would've liked to help them unpack in order to distract himself from it but he couldn't. He and Sora's main job was to hold the tethers and look like they were keeping a secure eye on things for the public's sake. Saïx left them in order to find the appropriate paperwork for Axel and Riku.

"I'm sorry," the redhead said after everything was loaded onto the cart. He took a few steps closer to Roxas and pulled the blonde into a hug. The Charge hugged him back readily.

"It's okay. Just try to keep it together long enough to not attack him and get yourself into real trouble, alright?" Roxas asked. Axel nodded.

"So I can keep bugging him?" the redhead asked hopefully. Roxas smiled and laughed a bit.

"If it helps."

"Oh it does," Axel said and grinned. Riku attempted to seem like he was only interested in the doors leading into the airport, but he couldn't help but feel a little twinge of jealousy with how easily Roxas and Axel got along now. It was incredibly immature of him, he knew, but with Sora so close yet acting so distant, it was hard to ignore. He was genuinely happy for the blonde and the redhead though, and he had been ever since they started getting on the right track, but the new developments in his own life had pushed through and were dominating his thoughts.

Saïx could be seen coming towards them from inside with a stack of papers and Axel's renewed mischievousness got the better of him. He made meet the Technician halfway but forgot about being tied to Roxas. As he moved forward, the tether pulled taught and Roxas was yanked forward off his feet by his wrist and fell flat on his stomach. The redhead was immediately choked, of course, and he spun around to see what the problem was. Sora couldn't keep the giggles back.

"That was just about the best face plant I've ever seen," the brunette laughed. Axel hurried back to Roxas' side and scooped him up.

"I'm sorry! I forgot!" the redhead cried worriedly and brushed the blonde's hair from his face to make sure everything was still in place before he smoothed his hands over the rest of him. Roxas batted at his wrists. Axel was overreacting, as if he had dismembered his Charge versus doing what essentially amounted to tripping him.

"Axel, I'm fine, it's okay," the blonde assured. Axel nodded sadly but wouldn't settle for that much. He shifted Roxas around laced his fingers together under the blonde's rump like a seat before standing again, bringing his Charge with him and sitting him up on his hip. Roxas crossed his arms over his chest and gave the redhead a glare. "I'm not a child," he protested.

"I know," Axel said. "But you said that if I wanted to get away I should just pick you up and take you with me instead of ripping your arm off."

"I'm glad you remembered. Where are we going?" Roxas asked. Axel shrugged.

"I don't know. Just wanted to get prepared so I don't pull you off your feet again," the redhead said.

"Alright fine," Roxas relented with a sigh. Saïx exited the building and waved for everyone to follow him. Sora and Riku grabbed the luggage cart and steered it through the doors followed by Roxas and Axel. The area wasn't as crowded as the blonde thought it would be and it wasn't all that different from the airports he and Sora had been in at Radiant Garden, which he found surprising. The huge floor to ceiling widows boasted a view of the same run of the mill runway one would normally expect and the planes themselves weren't all that different than normal ones outside of their pearly anti-radiation coating.

They were taking a direct flight from Dome 814 to Dome 965. Everyone was happy with the lack of layover but it meant that Axel and Riku wouldn't be allowed out of their cage for any sort of bathroom break, food, or water. They didn't get to have their own carry-on luggage or any sort of luxury, so even Roxas' suggestion of playing cards with each other or reading a book was a no-go. The cage itself had been deposited in the middle of the thoroughfare and was propped up on a dolly for easy movement. It was little more than a large breed dog crate in Roxas' eyes and he immediately hated it. Not that it would've been any better had it been bigger, but the principle was still there. He doubted either Carrier would even be able to kneel comfortably in it and at the very least, Axel wouldn't be able to stretch his long legs out.

"Wait a fucking minute, why is there only one?" Roxas protested angrily.

"Because I only wanted to pay for one, is there a problem?" Saïx asked casually with a smug half smile.

"Uh, _yeah_ that's a problem," Sora interjected. The Technician waved him off.

"They're both homosexuals so I don't see the issue with sharing a confined space together," Saïx said. "Be happy the third party isn't of your breed otherwise she might have been in there with them."

"Third party?" Roxas asked.

"The prey? You can't test an ecosystem's stability with just an apex predator. Don't you know anything? Or are you just that simple?" Saïx asked.

"Back off, fluffy," Axel spat, leering at the Technician. Saïx chuckled, completely unfazed.

"Poor pussy cat," the Technician cooed. Roxas could feel the tension creep back into Axel's posture as his anger bubbled up. In an effort to keep him calm, the blonde ran his fingers through the redhead's hair a few times. His Carrier took a deep breath before looking to him. Roxas smiled a bit and gave him a light kiss before resting his head on Axel's shoulder. The redhead shifted him around so he could wrap the blonde in a hug. Several people around them began whispering and talking amongst each other but they ignored them. Sora and Riku exchanged a look before they both focused on the floor again.

"When is the other party supposed to be here?" Roxas asked, half of his face buried against Axel's neck.

"Within an hour or so. You all have that time before then. Don't go too far," Saïx ordered. Roxas wiggled around and Axel lowered him to the floor again. He took the redhead's hand, clasping the end of the tether between them to prevent additional pulling. They left the luggage cart and the Technician by the cage and went to find a place to sit, Sora and Riku trailing behind them quietly. Axel was more than happy to leave Saïx's cologne behind.

"Is it going to be this awkward the entire time we're together?" Axel asked abruptly, looking to the moping pair when they all sat together. The people around them moved away either to a completely new section of seats, or several additional feet away. Sora and Riku exchanged looks.

"Possibly," was all the brunette could think to say. Riku kept his eyes averted.

* * *

After an hour of quality time, the so called 'third party' hadn't shown yet. Roxas was growing impatient. He just wanted the plane ride done and over with; his thought process of 'get Axel in the cage, then out of the cage, hug on him, then play in the snow' was getting tedious to listen to. Saïx had wandered off somewhere and was nowhere in sight and Riku and Sora had stayed silent for most of the idle time. Axel had slouched in his seat with the backrest serving as his pillow as he took a light snooze. The thoroughfare was quiet as most of the people had boarded their planes and the next rush hadn't made it inside yet.

Roxas found the whole take-off scenario to be quite fascinating. Through the huge windows that were off to his side, he could see the runways clearly as several flights had gone on their ways. Before the planes started, a siren would sound. Every person without an anti-radiation suit would run inside the airport, pulling carts and equipment that had their own respective anti-radiation coatings, behind them. Once everyone was either inside the port, or outside the gate that lead back into the main community dome, the plane would start. At the same time, the dome overhead would open. The building itself had a flat roof and there was apparently a system of sprayers housed on it that would release a cloud of anti-radiation spray just as the dome finished opening. A raincloud of iridescent mist would coat the atmosphere around the airport, protecting the inhabitants inside. Then the plane would leave, the dome would close, and everything else would return to normal. The excess anti-radiation spray as well as a series of fans and filters would cleanse the air so the people could go back outside and resume their work. But even all the activity wasn't enough to stave off the boredom Roxas had.

"Excuse me," came a soft female voice from directly behind Roxas. Axel startled awake and sat up quickly. The blonde looked over his shoulder at the Carrier that had suddenly appeared. She wore the same drab clothing all Carriers did, and she had her own collar already displaying her model number, _nx14_ , clearly. She couldn't have been much taller than he was, and had eyes similar to his but a bit lighter. The ends of her hair barely ghosted the bottom of her jaw and it reminded Roxas of Tifa's pelt. It was black, extremely black, and almost painfully shiny. She had thin brows and a small smile, but all of that wasn't a problem. It only became a problem when Roxas could hear a small gasp come from his brother. She looked almost exactly like Kairi.

"Uh… can I help you?" Roxas asked, purposefully acting like he hadn't heard Sora's recognition.

"Mr. Saïx said I was to wait with you four?" she guessed.

"You're going to EcoDome 487 as well?" Riku asked, Roxas had to take a moment to realize that the snowy Carrier was referring to his ecosystem dome. He only knew Axel's dome number but wasn't used to hearing them being referred to in such a way. The girl nodded.

"How come you don't have a leash, too?" Axel asked. She shrugged.

"I wasn't aware I was supposed to have one. Mr. Saïx never gave my Charge one," she said. Axel let out a growl and snatched the tether from Roxas and unclipped it from his collar. He threw it to the floor muttering a string of very colorful profanities to himself. Roxas patted his shoulder. Riku unclipped his own lead, but with much less violence.

"Where is your Charge?" Roxas asked.

"Saying goodbye to his daughter, I believe. She's going to stay with his wife's mother while they accompany us," she said.

"Wait, what? Your Charge has a wife? What about you?" the blonde sputtered in disbelief. The girl's face turned somber as she gave another tiny shrug. Roxas gaped at her for a few moments but she didn't say anything. Axel furrowed his brows together in thought.

"Well…I'm Axel and this is Roxas," the redhead interjected to break the awkward silence, motioning to the blonde. He held out a hand for her and she shook it lightly.

"I'm Xion," she said. "I don't believe you're the one who's going to be hunting my natural offspring though," she added, giving the redhead a curious once-over. Axel blinked a few times.

"Ah, no. That would be him," the redhead said and turned to point to Riku. Sora was staring at the girl with wide eyes and pinkened cheeks. Riku gave her a small wave.

"I'm Riku and this is Sora," the snowy Carrier said and looked to his Charge briefly. He had to do a double take at the brunette's expression before he looked Xion over again. The realization settled in quickly and he let out a small defeated sigh he hoped no one noticed. Axel did, and he looked between Riku and Sora several times.

There was laughter echoing through the space as Saïx approached the group with a man and a woman. The man, Roxas immediately had a bad feeling about. He assumed he was Xion's Charge since he felt there probably wouldn't be anyone else that would talk to Saïx, but he wasn't sure. He was tall, not as tall as Axel, but taller than Saïx. He had long hair that draped past his shoulders and was the color of dusty wheat. His features were very angular and sharp and his eyes glittered a brilliant emerald green that lit up as his conversation with Saïx continued. His wife was plain. At best. She was tall, very thin and had long pointy fingers that Roxas felt could puncture children if she touched them. Her eyebrows were extremely high up on her forehead and she wore far too much makeup that offset her salt and pepper hair. She and Xion's Charge looked somewhat similar though in their facial structure. Both had high cheekbones that could slice a cake from fifty feet away.

"Vexen these ar—," Xion attempted when the trio came close enough. She was cut off mid-word as the woman suddenly whipped her arm out and backhanded her across the face. The female Carrier cried out and grabbed her cheek.

"Be quiet! We're speaking!" the woman ordered with a sneer. She smiled pleasantly when she turned back to her husband and Saïx though and the conversation picked up again where it had been left off. Roxas assumed the husband was 'Vexen.'

"The fuck was that bullshit?" Axel blurted, sending the woman a strong glare. She turned to him.

"Excuse me?" she asked haughtily. The redhead stood and towered over her.

"Axel…" Roxas said warily but it fell on deaf ears.

"I asked, 'the fuck was that bullshit?' Xion didn't do anything wrong, you didn't have to smack her like that," Axel growled.

"I don't believe that is any of your concern, 4x31. Back away before you incur serious consequences," Saïx warned, his overpowering scent wafting into Axel's nose again. Vexen put an arm in front of his wife and she backed away a few steps so he could stand in her place. The electricity between him and Axel was nearly visible as the two glared at each other. Xion stepped in and laid a hand on Axel's arm. The redhead looked to her.

"I'm fine. I spoke out of turn," the female Carrier said timidly. She looked to Vexen. "I'm sorry. Sir."

"See to it doesn't happen again, nx14," Vexen scoffed. Roxas furrowed his brows together. Xion nodded in comprehension and stood quietly with her eyes averted to the floor.

"At any rate, it is time to board," Saïx interjected merrily. He, Vexen, and the wife left together, their conversation starting back up again. Their laughter was disgustingly loud as they obviously enjoyed each other's company, leaving Xion behind with the rest of the group. Everyone picked up their things and followed after them, the air heavy with frustrated emotion. Another cage had been brought out and was settled next to the other one that was intended for Axel and Riku. Xion was ushered into it quickly, her small frame taking up less than half of the space. Riku shuffled into the other one and scrunched himself up as much as he could. Axel hesitated.

"See you in a few, I guess," the redhead said, turning to Roxas. The blonde nodded a few times quietly. Axel wrapped him in a warm embrace, pressing their lips together briefly. Immediately, Vexen's wife gagged.

"Oh that's wretched," she sputtered in disdain. Vexen furrowed his brows together and nodded in agreement.

"I tried to warn you," Saïx added.

"I regret not taking you seriously. I won't make the same mistake twice," she said. Axel sent them all a nasty glare as he straightened. Roxas watched him attempt to squeeze himself into the cage with Riku, his chest feeling like it had been impaled with a javelin. The redhead had to sit Riku between his legs so they could both fit. Axel heaved a heavy sigh as he settled in, hunched over in his spot. Two airport attendants met with them and the cages were wheeled away. Axel watched Roxas over his shoulder for as long as he could before they rounded a corner and were out of sight.

* * *

"Sorry," Axel grunted as he accidentally kicked Riku when he tried to shift around.

"It's alright," Riku assured.

They had been wheeled to the back of the cargo hold together. Both cages were directly next to each other and if they cared to, they could reach through the bars and poke at one another. Xion had consented to allowing part of her cage to occupy Axel's legs and the redhead attempted to thread the limbs through the bars so he could stretch out. It took some creative maneuvering, but he was able to accomplish his task with minimal bruising on Riku's part. In turn, the redhead agreed to let Riku rest his feet on his stomach if he needed to stretch out. Riku declined and folded his legs under himself as much as he could. They settled in as the rest of the luggage from various other passengers was pushed in around them. The immediate area contained all of their luggage though and one of Roxas' bags had been shoved up against the bars directly next to Axel. He leaned against it, taking it the light wafts of Roxas' scent and attempting to keep himself sane. Saïx's cologne was there, clinging to his shirt, reminding him to be an asshole later.

"So… where are you from?" Riku asked, looking to Xion. She seemed surprised that he was even speaking to her.

"Dome 826," she said finitely.

"Oh," Riku deadpanned. There wasn't much else he could ask her about her home that he didn't already know, since most every Carrier facility dome was the same. The idle silence fell over them again as they listened to the remainder of the bags being tossed in. It took another twenty minutes, but everything made it in and the enormous cargo hold door closed with a loud echo and they were plunged into darkness. Not that it mattered. The mechanism that sealed the entrance clicked and they were sufficiently protected from the radiation.

"So I have to ask," Axel started. "And… it may come off as a bit rude since I'm not in the greatest mood right now, but what's up with you and your Charge?" he asked Xion. She picked at her fingers a bit nervously.

"He's… my Charge. I don't really know what to say," she answered.

"It doesn't bother you that he has a wife, and apparently a daughter?" Axel persisted.

"It does, I suppose. I don't really see him but a few times a month so it doesn't really matter if he has another life outside of me. He's happy."

"But what about you? I mean… maybe it's become your norm, but it's not supposed to work like that. I've _heard_ of Charges that leave the Carriers behind for another life but I didn't think it was actually true. How does your project work? Does he even love you?"

"Why are you concerned?" she asked, pushing her brows together with her confusion.

"Because I'm curious," Axel said. It was a partial lie. He was actually hoping that hearing Xion's story would help Riku with his problems a bit since obviously, her life was more miserable than his was. The redhead wasn't aware of Riku's suicide attempt but he knew his friend wasn't doing so well. Perhaps hearing about a life that was worse off than his own was enough to give the snowy Carrier a push in the right direction as far as optimism went. Riku couldn't deny that he was overly curious about how Xion made things work between her and her Charge.

"Well… what do you want to know?" Xion asked.

"Start from the beginning, it's generally the best place," the redhead said.

"Alright, well…I picked Vexen because I noticed he was extremely academic and a brilliant scientist. His downfall timeline was long and I had a lot of time to make contact with him. After I showed him everything I could in his world, he was intrigued enough to follow me. I honestly don't know if he ever loved me, but after I was able to explain the program in detail, he seemed even less interested in me than before. For a while, I honestly thought he was homosexual, but as I came to find out, I was just too young in appearance for him.

He admitted that he felt that if he were to lay with me, he felt he would be raping a child. I understood how he felt and I offered to alter myself for him as he wished but he insisted I was fine and he could function without the sex. Or… the love. He started to go out more and eventually happened upon Maleficent. I don't like her very much, because she's extremely conservative and doesn't like Carriers all that much. She was only living in our dome because her previous husband left her with nothing in the divorce and its cheap housing. They eventually grew more serious.

Our project was very slow in taking off. It took us over a century to mature one Carrier together but after that first one, everything came a bit easier. Within another century, we had enough for natural offspring. Then, after twenty years of that, we earned a home. Only, once that happened, Vexen proposed to Maleficent and they moved in after the wedding."

"So you still live at your facility, while they live in your home?" Axel asked.

"Yes. But I understand they need their space. Vexen has control of all our money and pays for Maleficent's stasis treatments and their bills and now, their daughter. Aurora really is a beautiful child," Xion said with a small smile. "She likes me a lot but her mother won't let us visit very often. Vexen only comes by a few times a month anymore to do my examinations. He's changed a lot. He's more like his wife and whatever small amount of emotion he had for me no longer exists; I'm merely part of his job now. But, so long as he's happy and the natural offspring are plentiful and healthy, I can live with that. I don't fault him for anything because he's done nothing wrong. I can't give him a human life like he desires. So, I don't bother him anymore."

"But, that's wrong! On so many levels!" Axel insisted with a frustrated groan. Riku took to heart what Xion said. Her overall tone of voice was even and calculated, but he sensed an underlying string of sadness. He had a lot of questions.

"How long?" Riku asked.

"How long, what?" Xion asked.

"How long were you together before he found Maleficent? How long before he left you to marry her? How long did it take for him to withdraw completely?"

"Oh my… um," she said as she tried to remember. "They've been married for seventy…six years? Something like that. They were together for a little over ten before that. Then, for all the time going back to the beginning, we were together sort of. Working together anyway."

"When was the last time he left a sample with you to work on Carriers?" Riku asked.

"It's been a few years. Any Carriers we make would be surplus and though I would like to have more brothers and sisters, I don't really _need_ them."

"I'm sorry if this offends you, but that's just fucking ridiculous," Axel snorted. Xion shrugged.

"Axel…I've been living this way for over three hundred years. It's normal for me. Would I have liked a semi-romantic relationship with him? Yes. But I can't change it," Xion said.

"But you called him _sir_ and he addressed you by your _model number_ ," the redhead said. "Did he ever call you by your name?"

"At first he did, yes, because I never gave him anything else to call me. But once I gave him my number, he preferred that."

"God…I couldn't even imagine having that sort of relationship with Roxas."

"It frightens me because I feel like I'm heading towards it with Sora," Riku said. Axel looked to him.

"Seriously?" the redhead asked. Riku nodded.

"Yes. He won't talk to me any more than he has to. He's gone back to sleeping in his own bed, and he hardly comes to the lab anymore. I don't know what more I can do. I've tried, Axel, I really have, but I feel the damage I've caused is irreversible."

"He's just confused."

"And he's allowed to be but I can't even get a word in long enough to apologize properly. If he would just…if he…if he would come up with a plan for himself, regardless of what it is, I would feel better because I would know what he's thinking. I keep hoping that he'll turn around and tell me that he won't leave but after hearing Xion's story and how easy it is for them to go off and find someone else…I just…it scares me," Riku said. He swallowed thickly and looked down to his hands. "I don't see it happening though."

"See what happening? Him staying or him figuring out what he wants?"

"Everything."


	80. Chapter 80

**Chapter 80**

"I pushed your paperwork through," Terra said quietly before the rest of his words were silenced behind a breathless grunt, his fingers tightening to a fist in reflex in Ventus' hair. The blonde's ministrations stopped suddenly and he attempted to look up at his Technician plaything but Terra's hand was keeping him in place. So he decided to be very uncouth and talk with his mouth full.

"Paptherwormk?" Ventus grumbled around the shaft of Terra's member. The brunette released him quickly, realizing he had just initiated a business related conversation in the middle of casual oral sex. The blonde straightened and wiped a line of drool off his chin as daintily as he could. "Which paperwork?" he asked. Terra cleared his throat a bit as the awkwardness set in.

"Your Charge papers. I noticed they were amongst the ones on the waiting list over at the Committee Headquarters last time I was there so I pushed them through. You're official now so long as your Carrier accepts you," he said and smiled. Ventus blinked at him a few times.

"Wh—you're serious?" he asked in his shock.

"Yes. If everything goes well, you'll most likely receive treatment for your HIV within six weeks. I should probably get myself tested after you're better, just to make sure I don't re-infect you if I have it already," Terra said. Ventus' mouth dropped open and he sat back on his heels, his eyes widening as he stared ahead of himself.

"I'm… I'm not going to be sick anymore?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper.

"Hopefully. Are you alright?" the Technician asked worriedly as the color drained from Ventus' face. The blonde's eyes filled with tears as the realization sunk in and he nodded a few times.

"Yeah…I uh…I'm sorry," Ventus stuttered as he laughed a bit and the tears slipped free. He quickly wiped at his face. "It's been a long time since I've cried in front of someone…but I just…thank you," he said and looked up at the brunette with wide watery orbs. "I don't know what I can ever do to repay you. I don't think you realize how much you've done for me. I…I almost feel guilty that I'd have to stop having sex with you once my Carrier matures since it's really the only thing I have to give you. Wow…" he trailed. "I'm such a whore," he laughed.

"Don't take this the wrong way, since I genuinely like you and wanted to help you, but I was just doing my job. It was literally maybe an hour's worth of paperwork and data entry. It wasn't anything huge," Terra assured. "You don't have to be in my debt. Especially with the adage of calling yourself a whore. I don't like that."

"Well…it's true. But I won't say it if you don't like it," Ventus snorted.

"Fair enough," Terra smiled. Ventus smiled back and wiped at his eyes a bit. He pushed himself back onto his knees and leaned forward enough to wrap his arms around the brunette's chest and hug him firmly. Terra reciprocated.

"Thank you so much," the blonde sighed and pulled back to see Terra's face. The Technician smiled.

"You're welcome," he said. The fledgling Charge looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I should probably call my mom," he said. Terra laughed.

"Put some clothes on first."

* * *

Roxas tapped his fingertips impatiently on the armrest between his and Sora's seat, idly whittling the time away as his mind reeled about Axel. He didn't think the redhead was in any actual danger but he didn't like seeing him squashed into such a tiny space. A stewardess had brought him a bottle of water and he finished it. He stuffed the empty container in his carry-on with the intent of throwing it out on his own. He didn't want to talk to the stewardess again. Her breath was awful. His brother wasn't helping his mood any, either. Sora had been completely silent for the entire first four hours of their flight and aside from a bathroom break and a nap, he hadn't done anything worthwhile. After sitting for so long in silence, Roxas' resolve eventually reached a breaking point.

"Okay," the blonde sighed. Sora looked to him.

"Hmm?" the brunette hummed.

"I'm finished with the bullshit, Sora."

"What—"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Um…not really."

"Oh good god," Roxas sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Xion looks like Kairi. But you're having problems with Riku. So are you going to try and get with Xion because you have some lasting regret about not fucking Kairi or are you going to attempt to make things better with Riku? Because if you haven't noticed, Riku's a little upset."

"I know he is," Sora said.

"So what do you plan on doing about it?"

"What can I do? I can't force what isn't there, Roxas."

"Okay so when you attempt to get Xion in the bed, are you going to think its love or are you going to use her, too? Because Xion isn't Kairi so the feelings wouldn't be there, and unless you're some amazing Casanova that I've never noticed before, you aren't going to force her to feel whatever you want her to. I'm not asking you to drop whatever you're doing and change your entire life around to make him happy. But I think it's seriously unfair that you're torturing him simply because you can't make a decision."

"You don't understand…"

"Yeah, because maybe I don't think it's okay to just rip someone apart and leave them hanging like that. I don't care what you feel for him, that's just cruel."

"It isn't like that."

"Then explain it to me, Sora. I really don't want to live the next hundred years thinking my brother is some sort of closet sociopath who gets off on other people's emotional trauma."

"I…" Sora sighed. "I remember when I first saw Riku. I was with Kairi in our English Literature class. He came in like he was walking on water and had this air around him that I couldn't describe. You noticed it too."

"Yeah… I remember that. So what? He's not like that anymore."

"I know. That's part of the problem. Well, I'm part of it too. I remember being so frustrated with him when Kairi started to freak out about how pretty he was, is, still is. I followed him here because he told me a nice story about how I can be whoever I wanted to be if I came over. I thought that, maybe I'd learn something new and be able to go back and make Kairi like me just as much as she liked him even though she didn't even know him. I didn't believe him when he said we couldn't go back. Then… he said we could go back, you remember?"

"When I was thinking about becoming a technician, yeah? You wanted to know if I would help you go back."

"Right. Even if I would be like an illegal alien everywhere I went, I still wanted to know what would happen. If I learned new things and changed a little, maybe if I did go back, Kairi would like me more or I'd be able to find someone else and be normal. Ever since I found out we could technically go back, I've been thinking about it. I lose sleep thinking about mom and dad, our family, my friends, Kairi. I didn't really understand what I was getting myself into when I came here. Even Riku changed some and it made what he told me seem like a lie. I can't really be my own person here so long as I'm tied to him.

Then… after letting me drift along with no real purpose for so long, he told me he took me early. He…purposefully made shit up so I would follow him instead of doing things like Demyx and Zexion did or even Tifa and Zack did. He lied to me. Even the way he presented himself when we first met is completely different now. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I've been kidnapped. I feel like an idiot for falling for it all. I…I don't want to be here anymore, Roxas," Sora said, looking to his brother with crestfallen eyes.

"You're not serious," Roxas said, pushing his brows together.

"I am. I don't feel like I know him anymore."

"Wh—so…what are you going to do? You're just going to finish what we need to do here and leave?"

"I haven't decided. But you're right. I can't leave Riku hanging like that. Regardless of how much I feel he's betrayed me…I still can't blame him. He's desperate for someone to stay with him. It'd make me a bit manipulative, too."

"I have a hard time believing Riku intentionally turned you against him. He probably doesn't even realize you're thinking like this. Hell _I_ hardly believe you're thinking like this. You really, truly, honestly believe his feelings for you are just fabricated to make you stay with him?"

"I don't want to believe it, but I can't help it. There's no other explanation."

* * *

"Hi…" Axel sighed, his face pressed up against the bars of his cage and his eyes looking up to Roxas. They had landed in Dome 965 successfully and the luggage had been collected. Axel, Riku, and Xion had been wheeled out and deposited in the main thoroughfare. Vexen and Maleficent had arranged for a private vehicle to take them to the ecosystem dome and they were discussing directions with their driver as well as baggage arrangements. Roxas wasn't concerned about that though. He wanted Axel out of the cage. Saïx had the key, though.

"Hi," Roxas said and smiled at the Carrier some. Axel reached through the bars and took his hand. "Was it bad?" he asked.

"Not as bad as I initially thought. Xion let me stretch out into her space a bit through the bars so at least I wasn't too scrunched up. I really have to pee though."

"Well, there are worse things. I'm glad it wasn't too bad," Roxas said. Saïx approached them from the boarding gate, flipping a stack of papers and skimming over them idly. The blonde let out a relieved sigh. At least Axel would be out soon. He stopped next to Sora and Roxas, but didn't look at them.

"Tether your Carriers and they can be released," Saïx said blandly. Sora pulled open his carry-on and stuffed his hand inside. He pulled out Riku's leash and went to clip it to his collar through the bars. Roxas made to mimic the movement but when he opened his bag, expecting to find the tether inside, it wasn't. Neither he nor Axel had picked it up when the redhead ripped it off.

"I think ours may have been left behind at the other airport," the blonde said. Saïx lifted a brow and looked to him over the papers.

"Oh really? That's a shame. I suppose 4x31 will just have to wait until we get to the ecosystem dome. Can't have him running free, now can we?"

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute there, fluffy. You can't leave me in here," Axel protested. Roxas gaped at the Technician.

"I'm afraid I can. You're a severe safety hazard. If I was to free you and have you run off in some blind fury and attack someone, it would be my liability, you see. We're in my jurisdiction, so I'd take full responsibility."

"What makes you think I'd do something like that? Xion doesn't have a leash either. She's a Carrier too," the redhead persisted.

"Yes, but she isn't a threat. An apex predator such as yourself? Oh, I'm quaking in fear with the possibilities of carnage. Truly," Saïx said with a smug smile.

"Well…" Axel sighed as he realized he was fighting a losing battle. "How far is the ecosystem dome from here?"

"About four hours until we get there, then who knows how long until we get to the cabins. Weather permitting it could be another three after that," Saïx said. Axel furrowed his brows.

"Can I at least take a pee first?"

"Oh! Of course not! That's just begging for an opportunity to arise! No cameras in the restrooms, nothing to keep a record of your violent behavior, what an awful thought," Saïx gasped with mocking dramatization and feigned horror.

"You're kidding," Roxas spat.

"You think I'm a fool, apparently," the Technician said. He stuffed his hand in his pocket and produced a set of keys. "Switch places," he ordered sternly. Axel was at the front of the cage while Riku was in the back. In order to get Riku out, they would have to reverse their positioning. Saïx opened Xion's cage first to give them time to move. Axel and Riku exchanged looks.

"I can stay, it isn't fair for you to be the only one," Riku said and shrugged some. Axel shook his head and sighed.

"No… it's fine. If I have to be in here I'd rather you be out so I have more room. Thanks though."

"You're sure?" the snowy Carrier asked skeptically.

"Yeah. Go on," Axel urged. Riku hesitated a bit before he moved forward. Axel pressed himself against the side of the cage as much as he could so the other could squeak past. Saïx unlocked the cage door and let Riku out. He slammed it again once it was clear. Roxas' mind reeled as he watched the redhead's face. Axel was not only angry, but he seemed incredibly sad. Previous conversations they had shared together about Axel's self consciousness and tendencies to beat himself up for feeling inhuman came back to the blonde and it made his chest hurt. Before Saïx could lock the door behind Riku, Roxas laid a hand on his arm and stopped him.

"Wait. I want to stay with him. In there," the blonde said. The Technician looked at him as if he had sprouted extra limbs from his nostrils.

"No, Roxas. Stay out there. I'll be fine," Axel urged. Roxas shook his head and hugged his carry-on to his chest. He then had an idea but he didn't think he could voice it in front of everyone.

"Please?" the blonde asked, giving Axel a pleading expression with as much doe-eyed innocence as he could muster. If the Carrier had been made of glass, he would've physically shattered right there. His eyes flicked between Saïx and Roxas several times before they settled on the Technician.

"Can he?" Axel asked. Saïx snorted and started to laugh.

"If you both want to be miserable together then that's fine by me. You both can stay in the back of the transport with the luggage for all I care," he said and swung the door open again. Roxas quickly scooted inside and waited for Saïx to close the door again. He squished himself into the smallest space he could with his back against the door and his carry-on between his legs. He gave Axel a wink and a smile. The redhead seemed confused by his gesture but didn't say anything.

"You sure you'll be okay in there?" Sora asked, squinting at his brother confusedly. Roxas nodded.

"I'll be fine," he assured.

"If it comes right down to it and he's starving, I'd let him eat me," Axel snorted. Sora laughed a bit. Xion watched the two in the cage curiously for a moment before she looked to Vexen and Maleficent. Riku watched Xion carefully.

"I just hope we don't throw a clot in our legs," Roxas sighed. Axel nodded.

"Yeah."

"What?" Sora asked with his brows pushed together.

"Blood clots, Sora. If you stay in one position up against a hard surface for hours on end, there's a possibility of getting a blood clot. It's basic. You didn't know this?"

"Uh, no."

"God forbid something happens to Riku…" Roxas sighed and rubbed his brows tiredly. "It's why it's so bad when old people fall on the floor and can't get back up even if they haven't broken anything. It's why—you know what? No. I'm not even going to explain anymore. You want to figure life out on your own and be independent? Fine. Well you can figure the book-smarts shit out yourself, too. Go away. You're pissing me off," the blonde spat. Axel furrowed his brows together at Roxas' sudden tone. Sora blinked a few times before an angry crease formed on his forehead.

"Fuck off, Roxas. You made it sound like you understood me. Don't turn all high and mighty just because people are around."

"I'm not turning anything. Yeah, I understand. But I don't agree with it. I never did. If I gave you that impression then that's your problem for interpreting it that way. You can do whatever you like with your life, Sora. But don't expect me to support you through all of it if you decide to hurt me or my friends. That's including helping you understand things better. So go on. Do your thing. I'll be over here, living my life happily because I found a way to enjoy it. Call me if you're dying, but otherwise don't bother," Roxas said and waved a flippant hand.

"Roxas…" Axel trailed. The blonde held up a hand to stop him.

"Don't worry about it. Sora and I had a wonderful discussion on the plane and he knows how I feel. It shouldn't be anything new to him. So, I'm done. He has to do the rest himself," he said. Sora pushed his brows together angrily and gave his brother an angry once-over.

"Whatever, I don't need you," the brunette grumped and turned away, folding his arms over his chest. Roxas shrugged his indifference. Riku was speechless, and he looked between the brothers several times with heavy concern. Xion was confused enough as it was with all the new people to register so she headed off to stand next to Vexen and wait for her directions. Another man had entered the airport and approached Saïx. They held a brief discussion before the Technician nodded.

"It's time to leave," he said.

* * *

Vexen, Saïx, and Maleficent left before everyone else did. According to Xion, Vexen had said they were going out to dinner before they all headed for the ecosystem dome. Which was fine with everyone else, since no one was playing favorites. Axel was happy he wouldn't have to be crammed in the car and smelling Saïx's cologne. It was bad enough it was all over his shirt. The new transport vehicle they were taking was bigger than the last one. The back storage space was larger and accompanied not only Axel and Roxas in the cage, but all of the additional luggage from Vexen and Maleficent. As it turns out, Xion only had one bag, and it was filled with her toothbrush, toothpaste, a hairbrush, and her entire wardrobe of only four shirts and four pairs of shorts. Roxas didn't know how he felt about it but it wasn't his place to say anything. He couldn't decide if she was just frugal and didn't care about much or if Vexen had a stranglehold on her funds. He did hope she had a blanket hiding somewhere he just hadn't seen yet.

Sora, Riku, and Xion piled into the oversized passenger area of the transport behind the driver, who was the man Saïx had spoken to before everything was loaded up. He was large and bulky and incredibly quiet. He didn't introduce himself or anything. He just sat in his seat looking grumpy. In the back, Roxas and Axel couldn't see much. The luggage had been piled around them and created almost like a cave for them to stay in with only a small space in one of the corners exposed to the rest of the vehicle. If they wanted anyone's attention, they almost had to yell for it because they were buried so well and so far away from everyone else. It was alright though. They didn't feel they needed anything.

"So you mind telling me why you're in here?" Axel asked as he settled in. Roxas shrugged.

"I didn't want you to be by yourself. Plus…" he trailed and pulled his carry-on bag open and stuffed his hand inside. "I don't want to risk bladder infection, here," he said and produced the empty water bottle from his plan ride. He handed it to Axel. "Have a potty."

"Oh good lord, Roxas," the redhead laughed.

"I'm serious! Don't laugh at me."

"I'm sorry, but I think it's cute that's the reason you're in here."

"Well, it's true. Holding it for that long will cause problems. We could be in here for more than seven hours, Axel. Plus, I feel like an asshole for not picking up the leash before we boarded. I completely forgot about it. I was distracted with Xion."

"I don't blame you, so was I."

"Yeah," Roxas agreed.

"Anyway, I have to pee. And since you're so resourceful, you get the privilege of being in my presence for it," Axel laughed.

"Gah! Don't talk about it just do it!" Roxas sputtered. He opened the side pocket of his bag as wide as it would go. "Once you're done put it in here. I don't want to touch it. Besides, if you remember, we've been here before. Quarantine? Remember?"

"I'd rather forget, honestly," the redhead said.

"I know, but this is old news so don't worry about it," Roxas said. "I'm not here," he added and plugged his ears with his fingers, closed his eyes, and hummed to himself. Axel had to shift himself onto all fours to get the leverage he needed but he managed to not get any anywhere. He capped the bottle, threw it in Roxas' bag, zipped it closed, and leaned forward to kiss the blonde on the forehead to signal he was finished.

"Thank you," he said and smiled. Roxas smiled back.

"You're welcome," he said and rubbed noses with the redhead briefly. Axel chuckled and sat back. He shoved his hand into the main compartment of Roxas' bag and shuffled it around.

"What else do you have in here?"

"Nothing much. A couple snacks, my tablet with the books I downloaded, that little travel pillow thing I found, and most of my bathroom stuff. I find the novelty of being able to bring a bottle of shampoo on a plane to be almost overwhelming. I always try to pack that stuff separate so it doesn't explode all over my clothes in my big bags so most of it ended up in there."

"Ah yes, I remember finding airport security in Radiant Garden to be a literal government project. You can hide weapons and bombs in a tube of toothpaste, seriously?"

"Hell if I know. I never tried it. I'm glad they don't think about that here though. Made things so much easier."

"Yeah it did. What books do you have?" Axel asked, pulling out Roxas' tablet and poking at the screen.

"Your guess is about as good as mine. Zexion put them on there, I haven't even paid attention. He supposedly reads just about anything though so the genres might be all over the place."

"I can believe that. He's the type that if you give him a box of crackers he'll read every letter on it right down to the copyright for the label," Axel snorted.

"Well so long as he doesn't write a book report on it, that's fine."

"He may if he runs out of shit to read," the redhead said and stuffed his hand into the bag again and shuffled around. He pulled out Roxas' travel pillow and propped himself up against the back of the cage as much as he could. He beckoned the blonde to him and Roxas settled between his legs comfortably. Axel settled his arms around his Charge and flicked through the list of titles, holding the tablet up on Roxas' chest so they could both see. After a short debate, they picked a title, settled in together, and set the text to scroll at a steady pace so they could both read it and they wouldn't have to flip pages and wait for each other. Roxas got comfortable against the redhead and Axel curled a hand up and gently ran his fingers over the blonde's forehead and the front half of his hair over and over again, petting him gently and reveling in how much it relaxed his Charge. Axel didn't actually care to read anything and was more focused on sneakily urging the blonde to sleep with his gentle strokes. The trip would be easier for Roxas to handle if he was asleep.

* * *

The tension in the front passenger half of the vehicle was so thick, one might've tried to slice it, toast it, and serve it with breakfast. The only reason it was so thick was of course, Riku and Sora; mostly Sora in this instance, because he had been paying attention to Xion the entire first two hours of the car ride. They made idle chit chat and get-to-know you conversation for the majority of it, and Riku attempted to sleep since they weren't all that loud. But for him, the temperature in the car was far too warm and he was having difficulties. He was tempted to sleep out in the snow once they arrived to their destination.

Their trip was taking them to the environmental equivalent to the foothills and mountains of the Himalayas. High altitudes, freezing temperatures, snow, rocks, caves, and cliffs. There had to be enough plant life to sustain Xion's natural offspring that Riku would have to hunt, so he believed they would be sticking to the lowland forests and at the base and shallow cliffs of the mountain. Riku's job, as an apex predator, was to find and hunt Xion's kin, and secure himself enough food to survive. It would take a lot of work on his part and the time span of how long he could stay in his Primal form would be stretched to the limit but so long as Saïx had done his job right creating the ecosystem, it would be sustainable. Xion's job was to hide and make sure Riku couldn't find her or her kin. If they, with their human intelligence, could do it easily enough then in theory their natural offspring could manage as well. It wasn't a foolproof system, but one that offered marvelous insight.

"Radiant Garden sounds lovely, Sora," Xion said and smiled.

"It is, it's really nice. I miss it," the brunette said. The girl shrugged and nodded.

"I believe that's natural," she said. She wasn't sure what she should and shouldn't say. After listening to Riku's pathetic tale on the plane, she knew how much Sora had taken an instant interest in her. Xion didn't know how she felt about that. She was flattered that someone could like her so much but she would've much preferred it to be someone she was already close with and not occupied by another Carrier, let alone one that was so troubled by his Charge's change of heart. Xion sympathized with Riku immensely. She couldn't help but feel flattered that Sora liked her so much, though. It was a nice feeling.

"You think so? Roxas doesn't seem to miss it at all," Sora said. Xion knew Riku's story. She just hoped she wouldn't insult the brunette by giving him her two cents.

"Well I believe that's because Roxas has probably found something here that keeps him happy enough to let Radiant Garden go. He's moved on, it seems. Perhaps you haven't found what you need yet," she said kindly. Sora nodded.

"I think you're right. I have no idea what I want though."

"Well, maybe it'll take a while. Vexen didn't find Maleficent right away. He's happy with her now. You can't rush things."

"I still don't think that's fair to you though. Vexen with her instead of you."

"It isn't, I agree. But…I would rather see him happy than worry about myself. It's a painful way to live, but I'm at peace with myself for letting him be his own person," she said. Riku, eyes closed and pretending to sleep, listened intently to everything they were saying. He heard Sora's hesitation.

"I wonder how many Carriers feel the same way as you do," the brunette said.

"I don't believe I have ever met one that wasn't willing to sacrifice themselves for their Charge. Regardless of how that sacrifice was done; emotionally or physically. Axel told me the story of how he took a bullet for Roxas. To me, that's the same as what I do for Vexen. What Riku does for you," she said carefully. Sora pushed his brows together and looked behind himself to the snowy Carrier. He looked back to Xion.

"I see," he said and sat back in his seat properly and folded his arms over his chest, the conversation grinding to a halt. Riku wasn't happy that his Charge decided to end it and hoped they would start back up again, but they didn't. Sora stayed silent, staring ahead of himself and thinking. Xion felt she had stepped on some proverbial toes and decided to move away from them both. She retreated to the last passenger seat, the one farthest away from the front, and closest to the luggage. She peeked through the tiny exposed space between the bags and took in Roxas and Axel in the cage. Axel had set the blonde's tablet aside and was still petting his Charge affectionately. The redhead's eyes were closed and his face leaned forward enough to bury his nose in Roxas' hair. His lips were twitching forward ever so slightly, laying hundreds of tiny kisses against his Charge's scalp. Unbeknownst to Xion, Roxas had been asleep for at over an hour and Axel hadn't stopped since he had drifted off.

* * *

Roxas awoke when the ground went from relatively smooth, to rough and uneven. Not because he wanted to, but because everything was vibrating and being thrown around. Axel had drifted off on his own for a couple hours as well, but when he woke up all he could think about was how much his back hurt and how numb his butt was. Riku was awake and moved to the back of the vehicle and stuck his face as far as he could into the exposed corner of the cage between the bags.

"We just got into the dome, you guys. We're making a stop. The driver says he can let you out if you want," the snowy Carrier said.

"Awesome! Yes please," Axel said happily. Roxas sat up and rubbed at his eyes tiredly, deftly reaching around in the cage for his tablet. He found it, and Axel handed him the pillow, and they were both stuffed back in his bag.

"How far did you get in the book?" Roxas asked and yawned. The redhead shrugged.

"I read about three pages and put it down," he said.

"Oh. Okay," the blonde said and shifted himself around. He deposited himself onto Axel again and hugged the Carrier tight. The redhead hugged him back. "You must be really sore," he said.

"A bit, yeah," Axel agreed.

"I'll do something about it when I can," Roxas said and yawned again.

The door to the luggage area was opened wide and the cold air began to leak through the baggage as it was shifted around. After twenty minutes, the door to the cage was exposed and Axel and Roxas squinted against the light. The cage was opened and they both climbed out gratefully. The driver didn't do much except close everything up and put the luggage back. Roxas tossed his carry-on back in as an afterthought. Everyone else had left the car and were headed into a small building together, so Axel and Roxas went to catch up.

The gate area of the ecosystem reminded Roxas of a rest area along the highway. There was a small building in the middle of a parking area that sold menial food and drink items, and had a bathroom. There was a water fountain and benches to sit on in a small grassy area as well. It was all common enough until he looked farther down the gate. There were the regular gate patrolmen and guards that check everything going in and coming out. The gate itself was made of the same wavy glass as the rest of the area, but off to the side of the gate was another building where dozens of Technicians came in and out of. They were all staring intently at their tablets and milling around doing what Roxas' assumed was work. Normal gates didn't have that building, nor the rest area, but it was fitting that an ecosystem dome would.

After a brief reunion between the pair from the cage and the tense trio, they all used the restrooms, washed up, and Sora and Roxas found something to munch on, they piled back into the car. The driver didn't seem bothered by letting Roxas and Axel out, and the blonde figured that was only because Saïx wouldn't be arriving until several hours after them and wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Roxas was thankful for the nameless man. The driver handed back a bottle of pills with the instructions for everyone expect Riku and Xion to take one. Sora, Roxas, and Axel did as they were told. Apparently the pills were used to dilate the bronchioles in the lungs so they could absorb more oxygen. The atmosphere within the ecosystem was set up to mimic high altitude situations without actually having to climb very high to get to them. The pills would take effect in an hour when the air should just be getting thin. After they wore off in a few days, everyone should be adjusted to the conditions.

Once inside the ecosystem dome, Roxas, Axel, and Sora were glued to the windows, gaping at the landscape. The dome itself was several thousand feet high and hundreds of miles long and just as many wide. The outside of it was lumpy and bumpy as it was actually a series of regular sized domes fused together as the need for more space increased but once inside, no one could tell. There were hundreds of weather simulators attached to the tops to create the climate changes and fluctuations and to display the appropriate sky.

Roxas doubted how much the ecosystem really resembled the actual Tibetan frontier, but it was convincing enough for him. He didn't know what specific plants should be there, or what the ground cover should look like, but the pine trees, the short grasses, the mosses, and the rocks made for a very realistic show. He did notice as they drove along, that there were large spires of orange crystalline rocks jutting from the ground in between the pieces of forest and nature. They reminded him of the blue rock formations that made up the pool at the facility and the ones that housed the strange tree he and Axel had found together. They were probably the same, but made of different sediment that melted together during the nuclear blasts of the Great War. He found that interesting.

The temperature slowly turned shiver-worthy and the blonde huddled in Axel's arms for warmth. Sora sat in his seat shivering and bearing it, while Riku desperately wanted to hug him and keep him warm. The brunette made no move to touch him though.

As they ventured forth, the trees became less dense and the incline in their trail grew steeper. They were heading up into the foothills of an enormous mountain range. The formations themselves grew and grew until their tops disappeared into the clouds overhead, and Roxas had the sudden urge to go hiking. They continued on until the line of trees stopped, and the snow began. The vehicle stopped in a very obvious line in the nature encrusted world where there sat three small buildings in a tight cluster. There were no other vehicles around, nor were there any people. They were the first to arrive.

As soon as Roxas stepped out of the vehicle, he immediately wanted to get back in. It was _cold_. He instantly backed up into Axel to steal his body heat and the redhead chuckled a bit and hugged him close. How the redhead could manage in the weather so easily, Roxas couldn't understand. Axel wasn't even wearing shoes. The redhead hefted the blonde into the air and Roxas sat on his forearm and clung to him, feeling like a toddler. Axel went around to the back of the vehicle and opened the trunk. He looked around for a moment before yanking out a piece of Roxas' luggage. He quickly hurried inside one of the buildings with the blonde and the bag in tow.

"Here," the redhead said as he set them both down. He quickly unzipped the bag and pushed around some of its contents and pulled out a heavy jacket the blonde had purchased for himself. Roxas quickly pulled it on and hugged himself.

"How are you n-not f-f-freezing?" the blonde stuttered through his chattering teeth. Axel shrugged.

"I hate the cold, but you need to remember I'm supposed to be the embodiment of the tiger populace as a whole. That includes the Siberian tiger, Roxas. You remember Siberia. That really fucking cold place in Russia where it snows a lot? I can deal with it but it's not my favorite place, believe me."

"That's n-not fair," Roxas huffed. Axel laughed.

"Sorry. This is probably one of the few times in my life where I can say that being a Carrier is to my advantage. I don't plan on going out into it very much unless you want me to though."

"Not right now, we need to unload the car," Roxas said. Axel nodded and leaned forward to lay a kiss in the blonde's hair.

"Alright."


	81. Chapter 81

**Chapter 81**

There were three buildings. Two were housing, and one was basically a laboratory that anyone could use that was missing everything except a Diagnostic Care Center, a Catalogue terminal, and the medical facilities. Roxas was relieved that there was at least some way to care for any injuries that may happen along their stay. He couldn't deny that everything was boring and drab though. They all inspected the buildings and deemed, through use of common sense, that the building containing the greater number of beds was the one they were all staying in. The other building only had two beds. They assumed one was for Saïx and one was for the driver. They were wrong.

Saïx, Vexen, and Maleficent were staying together in the one building. The driver took the transport vehicle and left once all the bags were unloaded. Xion would stay with the other four in the other structure in a bed she would have all to herself. The building itself looked like an efficiency apartment; only the bathroom had walls around it. The living area contained the beds, and a small table with chairs. That area opened up into the kitchen, which was little more than a wall of kitchen-like facilities; a sink, a huge refrigerator, a stove with an oven, and cabinets. Next to those was the door that opened up into the bathroom which looked like any other generic bathroom they had ever come by; stainless steel plumbing and all.

There were only three beds in their building though; which posed a problem if Sora and Riku weren't sleeping together. Axel and Roxas also felt that the fact that they were all lumped together in the same room posed privacy problems as far as bedroom activities went, but they didn't say anything. All of their clothing would have to stay housed in their baggage and they would have to cycle through it as it was needed. But they did have heat and electricity so it wasn't too horrible. That is, until they noticed the veritable luxury Saïx was staying in with Vexen and Maleficent.

The other building, the one they weren't staying in, looked the same on the outside but the inside was basically like a normal house. They had rooms for the beds, with accompanying bedroom furniture like lamps, dressers, and side tables. Their bathroom was bigger with a bathtub attached to the shower and their kitchen had better appliances. Not only that but they had a legitimate living room with seating around a very comfortable looking fireplace. It wasn't such a drastic difference that it would make everyone else jealous, but the definition between the societal ranks was clear and it was enough to irritate everyone.

Saïx, along with Vexen and Maleficent, showed up almost three hours later than everyone else did; which was fine by everyone because no one was really missing them. Roxas and Axel had made their bed together and were working on inspecting the kitchen when Saïx came to announce his arrival. Riku and Xion followed him out so they could speak about what they needed to do in the morning, leaving Sora behind to contemplate the bedding situation. In the kitchen though, Axel and Roxas noticed that there wasn't much in the ways of food for Riku and the redhead. The refrigerator was fully stocked with vegetables, fruits, breads, and some minor meat products, but not nearly enough to sustain either carnivorous Carrier by themselves let alone both at the same time. Either they were supposed to catch their own meals or they were supposed to keep a stiff upper lip and eat the foliage anyway. Roxas couldn't decide which, but either way he didn't like it. Axel may be able to stand the cold, but he wasn't exactly camouflaged like Riku was to go out and hunt on his own. It was a problem.

"I can't even get angry at this, I'm so damn tired," Axel sighed. Roxas closed the refrigerator and looked to him.

"Are you feeling alright?" the blonde asked.

"I'm just sore and cranky. Old. I feel really old right now," the redhead admitted. Roxas snorted a laugh.

"That's because you _are_ old. But come on, I'll help," the blonde said and took his Carrier's hand and led him across the room to their bed. He tugged on Axel's t-shirt before pointing to the bed. "Off, then on your stomach," he said and the redhead did as he was told. He plopped onto the mattress with a sigh and buried his face in the pillows after tossing his shirt aside. Roxas climbed over him and straddled him for a brief second before shifting around and using Axel's butt as a seat for himself. He leaned forward and pressed his hands into his lover's aching muscles and began to knead them some, pushing the knots away. Axel heaved another sigh and allowed his body to go limp. Sora, in the next bed over, watched them out the corner of his eye with a scowl.

"Can you guys go somewhere else and do that?" the brunette asked grumpily.

"Do what?" Roxas asked, giving his younger sibling a glare. "I'm not allowed to give Axel a backrub?"

"You remember that one time in high school when you decided it would be so cool to have sex with that one girl in our bedroom while I was supposedly asleep? It kind of feels like that," Sora asked, returning his brother's glare with one of his own. Roxas scoffed at him and rolled his eyes.

"Oh please. Spare me the dramatics, Sora. Number one, I apologized for that years ago. Number two, this is hardly the same thing. If seeing a guy with his shirt off is that traumatic to you, I suggest you don't look in the mirror the next time you're about to take a shower. You might go blind."

"That's not what I meant and you know it. You know what's going on right now with Riku and me and you're choosing to ignore it and…and… flaunt in front of me!" Sora cried.

"How the fuck is this flaunting? I'm not doing this because I wanted to rub my relationship in your face; I'm attempting to help Axel. If we were at the facility, I'd be doing the same thing in our bedroom. And what the fuck are we flaunting, if I'm allowed to ask? It's not like we're naked and comparing dick sizes or anything and trying to demean you any. If it's that insulting that I'm happy enough to do something like this for him, then you really need to get away from me before I come over there and hurt you," Roxas threatened with a growl. They shared angry eye contact with one another for several moments before Sora decided to speak again.

"Would you even give a damn enough to stop and respect my feelings if that _is_ the problem?" the brunette asked.

"My happiness is a problem for you. Nice. Wonderful. Fuck off Sora," the blonde spat and continued working away on Axel's back. The redhead turned his head to the side so he would speak, peeking around the fabric and stuffing at the brunette.

"I remember, a while ago, when I came to you to ask you for Roxas advice. You told me that the only thing you could think of that I could give Roxas to make him happy was a stable relationship. But at that time you seemed to be happy enough with Riku. So, now that things are rough on your end, is it really fair to try and guilt Roxas into feeling bad for finding his own happiness? I may not have any brothers, but that doesn't seem like something one would actually do," the redhead said and pushed himself up to balance on his elbows. Sora opened his mouth to say something in protest but Axel started talking again first, cutting him off. "Yeah I don't really want to hear you talk anymore, Sora. So I suggest you either leave, or shut up, because I'm already not very happy to begin with and I don't need the added annoyance." Sora closed his mouth in a huff and pushed himself off the bed. He rifled through his bags on the floor and pulled out a heavy coat before stomping his way out of the building, slamming the door behind himself.

"You didn't have to say that," Roxas said quietly. Axel looked over his shoulder at him.

"Say what? How I feel? He keeps talking to you as if I don't even exist and I was getting tired of it. It's like… 'Uh, hello! I'm the one with the old man back pains, aren't I part of this, too?'"

"True," the blonde agreed with a shrug. He pushed his hands into the redhead's skin again and Axel laid himself flat again. "You still didn't have to defend me."

"I may not have needed to but I think Sora needs to hear ridicule from someone aside from his brother. It's normal thing to hear your siblings bitch but to hear it from an outside party is different."

"I just wonder where all his maturity went."

"I'm sure he's just like any other unsure young adult and only has maturity for other people's problems. I met a lot of people in Radiant Garden through my jobs and very brief teaching career. It's the same story regardless where the people are. You can try to solve everyone else's problems but once the problems are gone, and you have to focus on yourself, it's way more difficult because you realize you never tried to help yourself in the first place and you tend to feel sorry for yourself. I have a feeling he's been digging this hole for himself for a while and now that he doesn't have your problems to focus on anymore, he's having a hard time switching gears and working on his own. That, and no one really seems to support him with his attitude and I bet he was hoping someone would so he would have an outlet."

"Also true," Roxas agreed and smoothed his hands up and over the redhead's shoulder blades and squeezed the expanse of muscle leading into his neck. Axel let out a groan followed by a sigh.

"If you weren't so sensitive to the cold I'd take you out back and pound you into the snow," the Carrier said. The blonde snorted and laughed.

"That was abrupt. Thanks for the invite but I like my testicles outside of my body, honestly. That much cold would reverse puberty on me and then everyone would call you a pedophile."

"It'd be worth it," Axel sighed with a smile as Roxas continued massaging him.

"Random thought."

"Do tell."

"Do you think Ventus sees his Carrier as a sexual entity yet? Like… she's an infant now and looks like any other baby would. But in twenty years she's supposed to be attached to him like I am to you. Do you think it weirds him out to be like 'yeah, you're hot but I watched you grow up.' You see what I'm saying? It's odd. You don't normally watch your sexual partners from birth."

"Isn't that what I did with you, though? What Ventus is doing with the bean is just a bit of role reversal from what all Carriers do with their Charges."

"But at what point did you decide you felt the way you do for me? Is there like a mental barrier that prevents you from thinking three-year old me isn't as sexually appealing as the current me?" Roxas asked. Axel gave a light shiver.

"That's a really creepy line of thinking, Roxas. But I understand what you're getting at. Yes, I have the memories from when you were little with me and I'll never forget them but when I think back to your birth and all that important stuff up until you crossed over with me, I put it into the context of having children with you. I mean… like when I think about you as a toddler, I don't go into the mindset of 'that is some damn fine pedo bait' or anything. I think, 'man, I hope our kids turn out like that.' Does that make sense?"

"It does."

"I'm sure it's different for everyone and I really hope Ventus isn't perving on the bean before she's ready for him, but that's the way it is for me."

"I'm glad. You were there for my birth, though? Like… physically there?"

"I wasn't physically in the vicinity, no. But I saw you. I wasn't down in front or whatever so I can't tell you what your mother's vagina looks like, but I had a fly hanging out on the wall and I saw you come out, yes," Axel said. Roxas stopped rubbing the Carrier's back to furrow his brows together in thought and itch his scalp a bit. The redhead looked over his shoulder at him again. "Does that scare you?"

"Well…it's a little strange, I'll admit. I…I don't…Hmm…" the blonde hummed thoughtfully as he rubbed his face a bit. "I feel embarrassed and I'm not really sure why. I think because when I think of babies being born, they're all gross and covered in stuff and it's just really… nasty. I get all weird when I think of you having seen me like that even though in the back of my head I know I was literally just born and it wasn't like I had any control over the situation."

"Modesty from birth, that's cute, Roxas."

"Shut up, I'm confused about it enough as it is."

"You were very manly during your circumcision though. You didn't cry until your mom tried to change your diapers and wipe you."

"Okay, that's enough. We're done with this conversation," Roxas said and slapped the redhead on the back in warning. Axel laughed.

"When we get back home you could watch your own birth. How many people actually have that lovely experience?" the redhead teased.

"Ugh. Stop it."

"If you're grossed out about it now, what are you going to do when the bean has cubs? Or for that matter, any of the other ones?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm not as grossed out about it as a concept until we get personal and start talking about my own birth. I can live without that, thanks. What about you? I don't even know your birthday."

"I didn't have a birth so I don't technically have a birthday."

"Well what day did you mature? If you want to be technical."

"August eighth."

"What the—your birthday is five days before mine and you didn't even tell me? You're a dick."

"How does that make me a dick?" Axel asked.

"Because that's just enough time between the days to warrant an entire week of birthday shenanigans for both our benefits and no one could argue," Roxas said. The Carrier laughed.

"Shenanigans?"

"Yes, shenanigans."

"I'll remember that for the next time August rolls around. What about right now?"

"What do you mean?"

"What about shenanigans for right now? I could go for some of them."

"I thought you were being old and cranky."

"I was but then we discussed a bunch of stuff that reminded me of how much I love you and now I want to run around and be stupid with you. Plus, Saïx is here and I haven't fucked with him in several hours and I need to remind him that I exist."

"I'm sure he hasn't forgotten you," Roxas said and shuffled himself off of the redhead. He sat on the edge of the bed properly. "I honestly don't want to go outside at the moment. Between the snow and Sora, it's not a very appealing place."

"Oh. Well that's fine. I don't have to do much, but I do have an idea. Do you still have the bottle you gave me in the car?"

"Oh fuck it's in my bag. I forgot to take it out. Gross."

"Don't worry about it I'll take care of it," Axel said quickly and pushed himself out of the bed. Roxas raised a brow as he watched the redhead pull out his carry-on out from under the bed and plop it onto the mattress. He zipped open the side pocket and removed his impromptu toilet from its confines and made his way toward the door, still topless. He returned several minutes later with the empty bottle and tossed it in the garbage. He went to the sink in the kitchen to wash his hands before coming back to the bed.

"What did you do with it?" Roxas asked. He had just expected the redhead to empty it into the regular toilet but outside worked just as well he supposed.

"Nothing much. I just dumped it all over the upholstery in Saïx's car," Axel said with a light chuckle. Roxas gasped with wide eyes.

"Axel!"

"What? It wouldn't be any different if I had sprayed him as if I was marking my territory."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?!" Roxas barked.

"Oh come on. He deserves it. It's also partially his fault for leaving the doors unlocked. He should've expected something from me after we've been apart for so long," the redhead said. He lifted the covers and deposited himself under them. Roxas gave him a blank stare and Axel pulled the blankets up to his nose and gave his Charge wide innocent eyes. "I'm sorry Roxas. I didn't mean to inadvertently pee all over the inside of Uncle Saïx's car. It was an accident."

"It was childish."

"I agree."

"We should get you some Pull-Ups."

"Well now wait a minute. I didn't _actually_ pee all over his car. I kind of did. We could say I tripped."

"Axel…" Roxas sighed and rubbed his brows. "I really wish you wouldn't be so reckless. I get it. You don't like Saïx. I don't like him either, but you can't just ruin his stuff because you feel like it."

"I know."

"And you expect him to just take it and move on? You can't seriously make me believe you think he's just going to laugh it off. He's either going to make us pay for a new car or a new interior or he's going to come up with something else."

"I know."

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing."

"That's not reassuring," the blonde groaned. "How can you not feel anything?"

"Because he's the only person that I've come across in my entire existence that I've come to hate more than anything else I've ever experienced," Axel said with a tone of voice that was completely even and without inflection. Roxas looked to him with furrowed brows. The redhead peered back to him over the covers with a serious face.

"Wh—well what did he do to you? Aside from the stuff I've seen," the blonde asked. Axel's sudden change in demeanor scared him. Literally, he was afraid to hear the redhead's story. Especially in the flat even tone the Carrier was using. Axel gave a wry laugh coupled with a small smirk.

"Honestly, Roxas? It's been over eighty years since I've talked openly about it and… I really don't want to," the redhead said.

"But he did do something," the blonde confirmed.

"He did a lot of things to everyone. I'm not a special case."

"What, is he some sort of serial rapist?"

"No, no, no, it's not like that."

"Then tell me. He obviously didn't murder you, and if he didn't rape you, then it doesn't seem all that traumatic to me."

"It shouldn't have been as bad as it was but… please. I don't want to talk about it."

"But—"

"Please. I'll tell you eventually, but not right this second."

"You promise?" Roxas asked.

"I promise. Come to bed?" Axel asked and pushed the blankets down for him. Roxas heaved a sigh before he nodded. He pushed himself off the bed and stripped down to his boxers. Tossing his clothing into one of his bags, he stretched a bit before climbing into the bed. "Are you upset with me?" the redhead asked as he settled against the pillows. Roxas shook his head.

"I'm not upset. I'm a little frustrated that you know everything about me from birth to present but I don't know hardly anything from before we met. Eighty-six years is a long time, Axel. I find it hard to believe you did absolutely nothing during all that time."

"You know a lot of it already though. You know most of the stuff I did with Demyx, you know I sat around and studied a lot, you know I went around and asked a lot of weird questions to get all my information, and you know I didn't bum around in my Primal form like everyone else does. It's…the bad stuff you don't know about. There isn't a lot of it outside of regular Carrier based drama and societal punches to the balls, but I didn't think you _wanted_ to know any of that stuff."

"Well how bad is 'bad'? Like quarantine kind of bad or just general asshole bad?"

"It's…" Axel sighed. "Please stop. I'm tired and sore and cranky and old and I just want to cuddle and try to sleep. I promise I'll tell you, but not right this second."

"Sora's been gone for a while…" Roxas said abruptly and sat up. Axel rolled his eyes and rubbed his brows.

"We need to get you something for that ADD, Roxas."

"No, I'm serious," the blonde insisted and looked at his watch. "He's been out there for at least forty-five minutes. Even when we were little he didn't like snow _that_ much."

"What are you getting at? You think something happened to him?"

"I hope not. But I'm worried. He may be pissing me off at the moment but that doesn't mean I want him to get frostbite and lose toes," Roxas said. Axel furrowed his brows and pushed himself up as well. Through the window, they could hardly see the snow falling. The light from inside that streamed out through the glass barely illuminated the flakes as they drifted past in the nighttime darkness. But it was there; the snow, the dark, and a significant lack of Soras.

"I'm sure if something had happened to him, Riku would be here freaking out on us. I'm not worried," Axel assured.

* * *

Riku wasn't even aware he should be 'freaking out.' He was under the impression that Sora was still with Axel and Roxas. He was, however, incredibly tired. It was cresting into the wee hours of the morning when Saïx finally finished talking to him and Xion about what they would be doing tomorrow. Or today. Whichever made more sense. He and the girl walked quietly through the snow together on their way back to their cabin and Saïx veered off away from them to head to his own. Riku hoped that Sora figured out the bed situation, otherwise one of them may end up sleeping with Xion or out in the cold. Riku actually didn't have a problem sleeping in the snow aside from the fact that it would melt around him and he would be wet for most of the evening because of it. He had never slept in his Primal form before, but he was willing to give it a try if Sora was to actually toss him out. But when they entered the cabin, the brunette wasn't there. Axel and Roxas were, and were sitting in bed together, talking.

"Where's Sora?" Riku asked immediately. The door to the bathroom was open so he wasn't in there. Roxas and Axel stopped talking and looked to him.

"We were hoping you would know," Axel said. Xion blinked a few times and pushed her brows together worriedly.

"We just came from the lab, he wasn't there," she said.

"How long has he been gone?" Riku asked.

"About an hour," Roxas said.

"He left with a coat on I hope?" Riku persisted. Roxas nodded, but it didn't ease his nerves any.

"We had an argument and he left. He didn't say where he was going, which has me worried."

"I feel bad, I was the one who told him to leave," Axel said. Roxas shook his head.

"You gave him an option. He chose to leave because he couldn't keep his shit to himself. I don't blame you," the blonde said.

"My Signet tells me he's upset but he isn't frostbitten so he can't be too bad off," Riku said and rubbed his temples. "I need to find him," he said quickly and turned to open the door again and rush out into the cold. He ran directly into Sora, who was attempting to come inside. The brunette let out an ' _oof_ ' and staggered back some.

"What was that for?" he asked grumpily as he rubbed his nose, having smashed it into Riku's sternum. The Carrier let out a relieved sigh.

"I'm sorry. We thought you went missing and I was just about to look for you," Riku said. "Where were you?"

"I was talking to Vexen and then Saïx came and kicked me out, is that a crime?" Sora asked.

"Well… no, it isn't, but you had us worried," Riku insisted. The brunette let out an exasperated grumble and stomped into the room.

"Whatever. Sorry," he spat irritably. Roxas furrowed his brows together and opened his mouth to say something about his brother's attitude but Axel put a hand on his shoulder and stopped him. He leaned in close and laid a kiss in front of the blonde's ear.

"It's not worth it," he whispered as he pulled away. Roxas rubbed his eyes with a nod in agreement. Xion left Riku's side to climb into her own bed, which was on the opposite wall from all the males. Vexen had been kind enough to provide her with a blanket and two pillows. Sora went to rifle through his things to find a pair of pajamas to change into. Riku hesitated.

"Where would you prefer I sleep?" he asked. Sora straightened with an armful of clothes and headed for the bathroom to change.

"It doesn't matter. Pick a place," the brunette said. He closed the door behind himself gently and everyone exchanged a tense look. Roxas groaned and rubbed his temples between his fingers on either hand.

"I won't kill him. I won't kill him. I won't kill him…" he muttered over and over to himself. Axel laid down again and curled and arm around the blonde's waist and pulled him down with him. Roxas heaved a sigh and tucked himself under the redhead's chin, his mind reeling with angry thoughts at his brother's insensitivity. Riku hesitated again, staring at the available bed.

"You can sleep with me if you want," Xion peeped from her bed, peeking over the edge of the blankets at the snowy Carrier. Riku looked to her with a raised brow.

"I couldn't."

"Suit yourself. I don't know what else you would do. Unless you want to sleep in the snow."

"I may do that."

"Oh come on," Axel snorted. Riku looked between the redhead and Xion several times before letting out another sigh and heading towards the girl. She lifted the blanket for him and he quickly disposed of his shirt before climbing in and settling down. It was barely another minute before Sora came out of the bathroom, dressed in his pajamas and he scowled a bit when he saw his empty bed. He was sure Riku would take the opportunity to sleep with him but apparently the snowy Carrier was keeping his distance. It didn't help the brunette's attitude towards him any, and the anger was compounded when he realized who Riku was bunking with. He clicked off the light for everyone before forcibly plopping into his bed with a huff.

* * *

There were very few things in life that Leon would admit he genuinely enjoyed. Eating was one of them, but he didn't think that was very strange. Most men enjoyed their food. Having sex. Again, he didn't feel he was odd for that. And spending time with his family. Once again, something normal. But when one has a family made exclusively of women, that's where things tended to get interesting. Leon himself didn't particularly care what they were doing together so long as he had company, but after about a dozen rubber bands breaking and snapping at his fingers, he had had just about enough.

Cloud was in stasis with several days left to go, so the only male company to be had in his family was missing. Unless he wanted to traipse around with the male cub out back, he was stuck with his sisters who, being women, liked to do things with their hair. Or so Leon's theory went. It couldn't possibly be because it was fun to do and they genuinely enjoyed doing it, but it was because they were women and they were one of the few things that still left Leon with confusion at his age. So there he was, in Theresa's bedroom, listening to Theresa herself jabber away with her sisters about things he couldn't really care about, braiding hair.

It was a veritable party, by Leon's standards, and he was the only pair of testicles in sight. His problems were compounded when Tifa abruptly arrived, bring two of her own sisters into the fray and all of a sudden Leon found himself flooded by giggles and gossip coupled with a few hands in his own hair, proclaiming how pretty it was. He refused to let any of them get near him with ribbons though. He had to hang onto _some_ of his pride. His thoughts were shattered when the hair in his hands was pulled away and suddenly he had a tablet with a magazine on the screen shoved into his face.

"Don't you think so, brother?" Theresa asked with a wide smile and glittering eyes. Leon blinked a few times and pulled his face a few inches back so he could actually focus on what he was looking at. There was a picture of a man in his face; some nameless human whom he didn't recognize but was, according to the subtitle at the bottom of the page, ' _2072s Sexiest Man Alive_.'

"Uhm…what am I supposed to think?" Leon asked. Theresa let out a groan and rolled her eyes.

"I don't think he's all that attractive but Liv insists he deserves his title. Do you agree with me? Or her?"

"That's a bit of a loaded question," Leon snorted. He took the tablet in his hands and flipped a few pages, taking in the other 'contestants.' In reality, he would be basing his decision on not giving a damn and giving them an answer that would hopefully not earn him a bunch of angry squeals.

"So? Answer!" Theresa urged.

"Are you asking me this solely because I'm homosexual or because you genuinely think I could give you an answer other than 'he's not your father so why should I think he's attractive?'"

"Ugh! You're so old fashioned!" Theresa sighed and took the magazine from him. She grumbled to herself and flicked her unfinished braid over her shoulder. Leon picked up right where he left off without another word. There was an assortment of giggles as the conversation picked up again that he attempted to ignore.

The hair party, or whatever it was Leon was involved in, continued on for another couple hours. His task of braiding hair eventually bled away until he was expected to be a part of the conversation. Did he actually participate? Not really. But being around his sisters and having company while Cloud was occupied was enough. Eventually, he and Tifa struck up a conversation and though it was brief, it was a welcomed distraction from the rest of the gossip. Apparently, there was a lot of it because the girls went on and on about who did what with who and why they think they did it. Leon felt he was sitting on an entire sub-culture without even realizing it.

He bid his goodbyes when the activity dwindled and left Theresa's room by himself. He weaved through the halls and headed out across the facility grounds back into the male half. Most everyone was asleep and paid him no heed as he made his way through the building and into the back where the stasis chambers were. The only time Leon has ever felt uncomfortable around a penis was when he was in that back room. Usually, none of the stasis chambers were empty at any given time so every time someone would traverse to the back, they were assaulted with two dozen phallic appendages they weren't familiar with on a normal basis. There were a couple of separate stasis chambers in their own labs for new Charge arrivals, but once they cycle needed to be repeated, they went into the big room with a bunch of other people floating in tubes with them. The community fountains of youth, as it were.

The worst part was, at any given point, one of them could wake up. The entire process was done while the Charge was awake, technically, and though the regular sleep cycles came and went, most of the time everyone was up and alert. The only problem with that was Leon had to go in every now and again and check Cloud's progress scans. Well, every time he would go in, Cloud would look like he's asleep. Usually. He would give the Carrier a false sense of security before he would abruptly bang on the glass, giving Leon a small heart attack. Today was no exception.

Leon went about his business and was about to leave when suddenly there was a loud ' _bang_ ' that nearly scared him out of his skin. Immediately his attention flew to Cloud's chamber that was to his left, and saw that the blonde's hands were pressed up against the glass. Cloud wore a wide smile that peeked around the corners of his air tube, his entertainment quota for the day having been met. Leon presented his Charge with his middle finger before stomping away crankily. Before he could leave though, Cloud gently knocked on his tube and caught his attention again. He was pressed up against the glass, giving the Carrier apologetic eyes.

Leon sighed and rolled his eyes and went back to stand in front of Cloud, his arms crossed over his chest and an expectant expression on his face. The blonde waved to him, and the Carrier waved back. Leon waited for the blonde to do something interesting before letting his arms drop to his sides. He gave the blonde a look that said 'is there a reason I'm standing here?' but Cloud didn't react very much. It was another few minutes of staring at each other before he made a move.

He took a deep breath and removed his air tube from his mouth. It released a string of bubbles as it floated freely for a moment and Leon gave his Charge a puzzled look. Cloud beckoned his Carrier closer to the glass and Leon had to stand on his tip toes to be level with the blonde's face. Cloud smiled a bit before he pressed his lips to the glass. Leon gave him a disgruntled expression. He looked around to see if anyone was watching before he kissed the glass in the same place. It was quick, because Cloud had to pull his breathing tube back to his mouth, and Leon backed away, hoping no one had seen. He wasn't one for rampant public displays of affection.

He had grown used to having people around. It used to be, that he could go days without talking to anyone and be perfectly fine. His family had obliterated that 'loner' ideal in him. Or more specifically, Cloud had. As he waved goodbye to his lover, and the blonde reciprocated, he left the room with a heavy heart. He couldn't bring himself to go back to Theresa's room and ask for some company while he slept, so he resigned himself to walking home. Alone.


	82. Chapter 82

**Chapter 82**

Everyone else had taken their shower for the day and Roxas and Axel were using that tiny fact to their advantage. It was mid-morning by the time they had rolled out of bed together and fell into the bathroom in a sleepy haze. Teeth were brushed and the water was started, giving them just enough time to wipe the crunchy flecks out of their eyes. They stumbled under the spray together, as per the usual morning routine. It didn't take long for the gentle scrubbing to turn more heated though. The lack of naked contact had worn on them both down and reduced them to a puddle of panting limbs and sweat soaked skin.

They both had their eyes closed, using the memorized maps of the other's body as guidance for their ministrations. Axel dragged his tongue up along the length of Roxas' neck and clasped his lips around an earlobe, gently pulling and nibbling on it with his teeth. Roxas let out a pleased hum and wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck, encouraging him further. Axel left the ear and pressed their lips together again, using his hands to pull the blonde's hips forward against his. Roxas met him eagerly and rocked up against him in his anticipation. The redhead's hands slid down and cupped the blonde's rump and hoisted him upwards. The Charge's legs wrapped around his lover's waist immediately and he was balanced against the wall and Axel's arms safely.

Then all off a sudden, the shower curtain was ripped from its rings and was sent flying. It was replaced by a very obvious and very pissed off Saïx. Roxas' solution to the problem was to bury his face in his hands, as if it provided adequate coverage for everything else. His cheeks turned red instantly. Axel's solution was to hug the blonde close and hide him behind his own body, which was much more effective.

"Whoa! Trying to take a shower here!" the redhead barked angrily as the Technician glowered at him, the vein in his forehead standing out far enough to hang a coat on. He ignored Axel's protests and grabbed a fistful of red hair through the spray of the shower and wrenched the Carrier backwards. Axel's hands flew away from his Charge and Roxas let out a yelp as he attempted to cling to the redhead enough to lower himself down gently. He managed to not flop onto the floor but by the time he was off of Axel, the Carrier had been pulled out of the shower. Saïx whipped Axel around and slammed his face into the mirror above the sink, holding him in place with one hand. The Technician leaned in close with a sneer, further pushing the Carrier into the glass. The mirror cracked in several places with the pressure.

"You think what you did was _funny_. Do you think it was _cute_?" Saïx growled into Axel's face. The redhead grit his teeth against the pain as the mirror sliced into his skin. He let out a strangled squeak in response. Saïx pulled the redhead back several feet by his hair before thrusting his arm forward again and smashing the mirror in with the Carrier's face.

"Axel!" Roxas screamed and he jumped out of the shower. He grabbed Saïx's arm and tried to pull him back and when it didn't budge, he froze. Saïx was incredibly strong. The Technician pulled Axel back again and dropped him to the ground. The Carrier landed on his back. Saïx stepped on his chest and leaned down to peer into his bleeding face.

"I'm docking your pay until you've purchased me a new interior, 4x31. You'd do well to hold back your temptation to cross me unless you want a more severe punishment to befall you. And your Charge," the Technician spat. Axel blearily blinked at him a few times but didn't respond. Saïx watched him for a moment before his satisfaction was filled. He left the bathroom quickly, a thick trail of his cologne tainting the air behind him. After the door was closed, Roxas dropped to the floor and attempted to scoop Axel into his arms. The Carrier groaned at him and sat up before he could get very far.

"Let me see," Roxas insisted and grabbed the redhead's shoulders and tried to force him to turn. One half of Axel's face was worse off than the other. There were a spattering of cuts all along his cheek and his bottom lip was sliced on the one side. There were a few other minor cuts on the rest of his face, but the blood was making it difficult to tell how bad everything was. Roxas scooted backwards, pulling Axel by his arm. The redhead followed after him and the blonde tugged him under the shower again. The Carrier winced and let out a hiss as the droplets cleared his skin. Roxas pushed his face around inspecting the cuts. There were many, but none of them seemed very deep. They wouldn't scar, but Axel would probably bruise.

"That's not what I was expecting him to do," the redhead laughed. Roxas punched him in the shoulder and send him a smoldering glare.

"That's not funny, Axel. He could've seriously hurt you. Why didn't you resist?"

"Because I couldn't. Number one, that would make him angrier. Number two, if I had hurt him, what would I do? I'd be in way more trouble if I was to fight back like that. Why do you think I torment him from a distance?" Axel asked. Roxas let out a frustrated grumble and rubbed his brows. "It's the way things have always been, Roxas. He's easy to anger and easy to turn violent. I tease him because if he's going to beat me, then I better give him a reason to. I learned my lessons."

"This has happened before?" Roxas asked.

"Of course it has. Why should that surprise you?"

"Well, I didn't think he took it to that extreme very often. All I ever see is him getting pissed and looking angry."

"He's done it to me, he's done it to Demyx, Leon, Riku, Tifa, everyone. Zack's gotten in more trouble fighting back to defend Tifa than he has doing anything else. Saïx is strong though. Abnormally strong. It's freaky."

"Is he? Is that was you were trying to avoid talking about yesterday?"

"Yeah, I… it's pathetic."

"How is that pathetic?"

"Eh…every time I think about it I'm reminded of how… I don't know, wimpy I acted? I guess?" Axel said and sat up and felt his face. Roxas batted his hands away and pulled his cheek closer, inspecting the cuts as best as he could and looking for any pieces of glass.

"What do you mean 'wimpy?' Avoiding additional punishment by not provoking him further isn't a weakness."

"I was a completely different person during the first ten years of my life. It wasn't until I got really tired of being stepped on that I decided to change myself. Hell, I didn't even have the balls to give my hair and eyes color until I was sixty-three. All the time before that was spent studying people, human behavior, and finding myself. But before all that, in the beginning, I was marginally pathetic."

"I don't believe that."

"I have videos."

"Of you being pathetic or of Saïx beating people?"

"Both."

"That's really strange."

"If it makes you feel any better, it's recorded messages from when I was talking to people in other labs. See, before legs were invented, Demyx and I would be stupid and talk to each other through the Catalogue terminals. But once we figured out our conversations were recorded all the time, we stopped and decided we would walk the four and half feet to talk to each other face-to-face."

"I didn't know the Catalogue conversations were recorded."

"They are if a Carrier or Charge makes the call."

"Oh. Doesn't your face hurt? We sitting here talking like nothing just happened," Roxas said.

"It does. But once I change, any pieces of glass will fall out and the cuts will be gone. I'm not that worried. Saïx broke the shower curtain though. The floor's getting wet," Axel said and shifted himself around to sit up properly. A shallow puddle was starting to form around him and was soaking into the bath mat. The sink was coated in shards of glass and there were a few pieces on the floor.

"Yeah…well, what did you want to do? I need to finish my shower, but if you're going to go change, it doesn't actually matter what you do. You're sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine. Like I said, it's always been like this. Saïx gets annoyed, he gets angry, and then he gets violent. The only difference now is that he doesn't have his electric pokey things to hit me with. The physical damage is repairable and much easier to deal with. The electrical is harder to handle. I didn't expect him to burst in here and disrupt sexy time though; that was new."

"Still, he could've seriously hurt you," Roxas insisted. Axel gave him a small smile before leaning in and planting a gentle kiss on the blonde's lips.

"Thank you for the concern. I love you too."

* * *

Riku and Xion were standing outside together with Saïx, Vexen, and Sora. After cleaning up the mess in the bathroom, and attempting to hang the shower curtain again, Axel had gone outside and changed into his Primal form and was lounging in the snow comfortably in the distance, trying to act casual. The temptation to run up to Saïx and molest him was immense, but he tried to keep things to a minimum for Roxas' sake. After his hair was dry enough, and he was well bundled, the blonde came out of the cabin and went to play with his Carrier. The group of five, however, was outside for work.

First things first. Riku and Xion needed to change. Riku went first as he was able to keep his clothing on and shake the fabric off once he was finished. Xion, however, was a different story. Without much warning, she began to strip and Sora's eyes were locked on her the instant her shirt lifted. She purposefully kept her back to the men though and clicked her Signet, which was fashioned as a nipple piercing. Riku attempted to keep himself busy by rolling his fur through the snow, getting a feel for what his natural habitat was supposed to be like. Sora's eagle eyes on the girl were a bit upsetting.

Watching Xion change was quite strange. Instead of paws, she had hooves that sprouted from her wrists in on sudden push, versus each finger bending and twisting individually. Her forehead sprouted a pair of stumpy horns that extended several inches above the crown of her head. Her ears traveled upwards and extended out as her face elongated to create her muzzle. Her limbs thinned and extended, while her belly pushed outward. Her tail was short and coated in bristly hairs. Once the physical popping and cracking subsided and she was able to stand, her coat gave one last shimmer before it settled into a soft tan with a white underbelly.

Xion carried the Bharal, otherwise known as the Himalayan Blue Sheep. Riku was to find a herd of her kind and procure himself a meal. Which was a challenge because he would have to climb the rocks and the cliffs to chase after them. The bovines were notorious for their innate climbing ability and were capable of many daredevil-like aerial feats. But the biggest danger he would face were the males. They were extremely territorial and had a set of horns like massive battering rams that could crush him with one relatively well-placed hit. But if they didn't get him, poor footing on the cliffside could do him in just as easily.

Xion was allowed an hour's head start and she didn't waste any time galloping away, gracefully leaping over the uneven terrain and heading down further into the foothills to hide. If either Carrier happened upon one another, they were to keep a mental tally and report their instances to Saïx once they were finished. If Riku couldn't find himself a meal before his Primal form time limit was up, then the ecosystem needed adjustments. Ideally, his natural Snow Leopard offspring should be able to find food every two to three days, even if they didn't need it that often.

" _I want me one of those,_ " Axel said into Roxas' earpiece as they watched Xion sprint away. The blonde looked to him curiously.

"For what purpose?" he asked.

" _Food, of course. I haven't eaten in two days._ "

"Ah. Well, you could try but I don't think climbing is your thing."

" _Going up isn't the problem. Getting down is. Maybe I'll skulk around in the woods and try to find me a rabbit or something. If I find a couple, do you want one?_ "

"Uh, no thanks. I have enough here."

" _Your loss._ "

* * *

Roxas was attempting to distract himself by reading in bed. Riku and Xion had been gone for several hours, which was to be expected. Axel left not long after they did and for whatever reason, Sora decided he needed to spend more time with Vexen. The blonde was thoroughly annoyed with his brother for not talking his problems over with Riku and opting for the less than favorable approach. Vexen most likely had nothing positive to say that would help Sora with his dilemma. He would probably give him a million reasons why it was good idea to leave. Roxas didn't want Sora to go. Especially not with the attitude and outlook he had been having. It was an extremely bad note to end everything on.

He sighed and set his tablet down, rubbing his brows tiredly. It was the late afternoon and he hadn't eaten much since that morning. He set his tablet aside and went to the kitchen to find himself something to eat. He wasted an hour munching on pieces of fruit before he was at odds again. His book was entertaining enough but after sitting and reading for so long, his legs were feeling a bit stiff and his eyes hurt. He put his tablet away before pulling out his thick jacket and scarf and bundling himself up again. A stroll around the immediate area didn't seem too bad.

Heading out into the cold wasn't horrible. It was warmer than the previous day but it still wasn't enough to melt the snow and it was much cloudier than before. It crunched under his boots as he plodded along to the backside of the cabin. He followed the rocky mountain wall a bit, looking between the cracks in the rocks to see if he could find anything interesting to look at. If he were about ten years younger, and in much warmer climate, he might have tried to overturn some of the rocks to look for frogs or salamanders but the snow made things difficult. He couldn't tell what season it technically was, and for all he knew it could be summer, but he knew amphibians didn't do well in the snow regardless.

His short journey took him around the tiny trio of buildings several times but eventually he decided to knock on Saïx's cabin door and see if Sora was willing to come out and be civil with him; for entertainment's sake. He knocked on the door a few times and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited, for a good five minutes. Eventually, the door opened and he was suddenly face-to-chest with Vexen who was giving him a curious eye. Behind him, Roxas could see into the living area where Sora was seated in front of the fireplace comfortably.

"Did you need something?" Vexen asked impatiently. Roxas blinked a few times and looked to him.

"I was going to ask if Sora would come out here," the blonde said.

"We're having a discussion. He's preoccupied."

"Oh. Well I needed to talk to him anyway. It'd be just be a minute."

"I will tell him you're looking for him," Vexen insisted.

"Is his company really that interesting that I can't interrupt for sixty seconds?"

"What he is telling me, interests me greatly. I do not wish to disrupt any more than I already have. I will tell him you're looking for him. Goodbye," the elder Charge said and closed the door in Roxas' face. The blonde scowled at the metal for a moment before heaving a sigh and trailing back to his cabin. He had a vague idea of what Sora could be talking to Vexen about since the only thing they had in common was their relationship with their Carriers, and he didn't like it.

Roxas understood his brother's confusion with himself, and he wasn't asking for miracles on the brunette's part. All he genuinely wanted was for Sora to find peace without ripping Riku apart, even though he wasn't the best at voicing his views. He believed that Sora could be happy with Riku if the brunette would just be willing to let go. Forgetting about the past was a difficult thing if one wasn't happy in the present but in order for Sora to forget about the past he needed to find his happiness, and the only thing that was openly willing to give it to him now was Riku. Roxas couldn't do much for his brother anymore aside from attempt to give him some guidance, but even then he doubted its worth. His language skills weren't the best. But at the very least he hoped Sora wasn't stupid enough to burn his bridges with Riku and follow Vexen's leadership.

* * *

"I'm sorry for the interruption. It is as you've said, your brother seems to be bent on stopping you from thinking for yourself," Vexen said as he made his way away from the door and back to the sofa across for Sora's. The brunette had spent their time together telling the man about his troubles. The way he figured it was that Vexen was an outside party with completely different views than Roxas and all of his friends had. He was a minority amongst Charges when it came to his relationship with Xion, and Sora doubted he would have any other opportunities to talk to someone like him.

"I didn't really want to talk to him right now anyway. Regardless of what he's trying to do," Sora said and watched Vexen take a seat. Between them was a coffee table and on it was a mug of hot chocolate that he was allowing to cool for a minute before diving in. His range of sweets had been extremely limited since he crossed over with Riku and he was anxious to have a taste but he valued the skin inside his mouth.

"Yes well… where was I? Ah. Yes. From the beginning I never saw nx14 as anything else but a partner in intellect. You see, when she made contact with me I was actually a professor of biological sciences at the local university. She posed as one of my students and though she was extremely interested in her academics and spent more time with me than the other students, she never made her motives seem anything more than platonic. So our relationship was never one of romance in the first place, and once we came here, I still couldn't see her as anything more than what we had already established.

I made an effort to. I honestly did. Not physically of course, but mentally I tried to see things from her perspective and give it a chance. Her extremely young face is what kept me at bay even though she was already forty years my senior. She still looked like my student, sounded like my student, and hardly ever did anything that seemed like something a non-student would do. She was constantly studying and testing new things, and never really broke out of that mold she had created for herself. I didn't come to this plane for romance though and after a while, I didn't see the point of pursuing something like that with her since I was perfectly fine without it. She never gave me any indication she wasn't alright with it either. So, we ended up functioning separately.

I met Maleficent purely by accident and as you can plainly see, I was more apt to have a relationship with her. The details surrounding that aren't important nor are they any of your business, but what I will tell you that my wife has imparted some of her influence on me and helped me see the light, so to speak. Nx14 isn't a person, like all Carriers, Sora. They look human and sound human in a lot of ways, but if you get under the skin and understand what they are and why they are that way, then you'd see a plan.

Everything a Carrier is circulates around the Charge. Physically, they may as well be robots working for a greater purpose. Not only is roughly half of their bodies synthetic, but all the extra details they have are for _us_. Navels, hair, nipples, nails, color, everything superficial is for the Charge. If humans weren't so fearful of the unknown I'd wager that the Technicians wouldn't even have bothered with the human appearance at all and simply given us blank cubes that produce eggs and sperm. They were created that way for the sole purpose of bringing in a Charge to help them and together they would achieve a goal. No more, no less.

They are lives, I know. But synthetic ones. Manipulative ones. Ones that serve to satisfy their goal and nothing else. The pressure is constantly on us to produce results to repopulate their Totem and to bring this world back up to its former glory. It's a noble cause, I will admit, and I am proud to be a part of it. But really, all of the Charges were manipulated by the Carriers in order to get them to follow. Follow them to this plane, follow the 'rules', follow them into the future, the project, the goal. It may not be a malicious one, but it doesn't change the fact that we Charges are being used by the Carriers for everything that we're willing to give.

I feel I'm fortunate enough to not have fallen for it in the beginning even if I wasn't aware of it. Maleficent knew from the first time she heard of the Carrier Project that it was a shameful process. For a human to be sucked into a life that supposedly promises them happiness in such an environment is an unrealistic view. The Carriers are not only inhuman, but the entire relationship they have with their Charge is based on deception. It begins with deception, it progresses with deception, and it will ultimately end with deception and for most, they are blissfully unaware of what is outside the facility and what true happiness is like. I found my happiness, Sora. I honestly believe the project is working for the greater good and I enjoy my profession, but the Carriers are a major flaw and I achieved my happiness by cutting myself from nx14's grasp and living my own life," Vexen explained. Sora picked up his mug of hot chocolate and sipped it a bit, savoring the taste.

"Everything you said makes so much sense to me. It explains a lot," the brunette said.

"I'm glad I could enlighten you."

"At this point in your life, what do you think of Carriers? I mean… I know you think they're manipulative and everything, but do you feel like Maleficent does? She doesn't seem to like Xion all that much."

"It is true. My wife despises Carriers and doesn't hesitate to show it. At this point in my life I feel resentment towards nx14. Had she made her motives clear and had been honest with me from the beginning, I wouldn't have wasted over a century with her and could've been much happier much sooner. I honestly don't find any fault with the way Maleficent treats nx14 or the way society, or the law does. It's what they deserve for their manipulative ways and their deception. Humans are their creators and they should behave as such. Total submission would be to the project's benefit, I believe. If beating them to the ground and having them show their fabricated synthetic tears and emotion is the way to get the point across, then so be it. If they're such free thinkers and so human-like they should've gotten the idea thousands of years ago. I can guarantee you many Charge lives would've been much better off without their pestilence."

"…I don't think they should be _beaten_."

"They don't have to be but they bring it upon themselves. I equate it to training a dog. If it soils the carpet you rub its nose in it and give it a firm whack to get the point across. If we were to establish packs amongst all the Carriers and Charges like a bunch of wolves, it would be no different. Pack leaders bite and fight with the underlings to establish rank and if the Charge wants to get anywhere in order to find their true happiness in this world, then a little pain is to be expected to become top dog."

"I've never come across any Carrier that forces their Charge into submission though. Why do we need so much violence to establish something like rank when it isn't there to begin with?"

"I can see your Carrier still has a hold on you. You believe that there aren't any fluctuations in the hierarchy when in reality, that's what he wants you to believe so he can have a hold on you. You're still trapped, Sora. You need to think past what you've been taught—"

"I haven't been 'taught' anything, though. I've _seen_ it all. If Riku was trying to keep me underfoot, why would he allow me to think for myself at all? If what you're saying is true, he would try to keep me here so I could do what he wanted. He'd…tie me to the door or something so I couldn't leave. He'd argue with me. Guilt me into staying. But he isn't! He's…he's…" Sora trailed quietly. He hesitated some as his throat tightened and his tongue dried out. "He's letting me do what I want."

"Is he? It sounded like he was comparing you to his former Charge and creating a sob story for you to listen to so you'd pity him. Are you even sure any of his stories are true? How do you know he isn't lying to you like he lied to you in the past?" Vexen asked.

"I've read the reports, I've seen the messages he's sent to Ansem, and I've seen the profiles. Jasmine existed and she did kill herself. I don't think he's lying to me about that. He's never really _lied_ to me about anything else, either. He didn't tell me about bringing me over early because… well… I mean really, if I hadn't been freaking out and being stupid it would've been irrelevant. He said we couldn't go back to our home plane because it'd be pointless if we did."

"Hiding information and disguising it behind something else is the same thing, Sora."

"But if he was hiding it, he wouldn't have said anything at all. He wouldn't have exposed his supposed 'lies' like that, don't you think?" the brunette asked, giving the other Charge a curious look. Vexen shrugged.

"I don't know enough about your Carrier to say what his tactics are. I still believe he's deceitful. They all are. I would use caution around your brother's Carrier for sure. He seems to have Roxas in pretty deep and after the stunt he pulled with Saïx's car, I could only imagine the other things he's daring enough to try to achieve whatever vendetta he has. I would watch out for your brother since he obviously doesn't have a hold on 4x31 very well and he could wind up seriously hurt if he steps out of line," Vexen said.

"Are you suggesting that Axel would hurt Roxas? That Roxas is under his control?" Sora asked, a scowl crossing across his lips.

"I know he is. Have you seen them? Your brother hardly has a mind of his own! Willingly climbing into a cage with a Carrier. Foolish. Why would he demean himself in such a way if the Carrier wasn't controlling him for his own benefit?"

"I don't know… I thought Roxas was being kind of cute when he did that…" the brunette said and shuffled his feet on the carpet a bit.

"Cute! Oh Sora, you need help. You're too far into the Carrier's mindset if you believe such atrocities are cute. Humans are the top of the food chain, they always have been. Do you really believe that something they create, a synthetic life, deserves to be on the same level? That these… beasts, objects, are really serving for both their own and the Charge's purposes? They are not equal. They can't be. People don't belong in cages, and obviously your brother is brainwashed enough to feel otherwise. I can't believe you don't pity him more."

"Why should I pity him? Regardless of what you say he should and shouldn't do, if he really believes he's happy, why is that bad? If everything you say is completely true, and this is all because the Carriers want us to believe whatever they want us to, then shouldn't we all be blissfully unaware of the bigger plan? Wouldn't we be much better off? Even if everyone on the outside thinks the happiness is fake, so long as the ones living it thinks it's real, isn't that enough?"

"Do you really want your brother to live a lie? Do _you_ really want to live a lie? Do you never want to find your happiness like I've found mine?"

"Well how do you even know that the happiness the Charges feel with their Carriers is fake? You didn't even try it!"

"But you did. You're unhappy and struggling to fix it," Vexen said.

"I'm unhappy…" Sora trailed again as he thought it over. He looked down to the mug in his hands and pondered why he was unhappy for the fifty millionth time. "I…" he sighed. "You helped me understand what I couldn't, but I can't agree with you. You helped me realize that Riku hasn't really lied to me and I have no real reason to be angry at him. You've helped me understand that sometimes it takes over a hundred years to find a 'true' happiness. But the rest of everything that fell out of your mouth is complete bullshit," he said, anger slowly bubbling up behind his words. He sent the elder Charge a strong glare for all of his baseless accusations and insults to everything Sora had witnessed and learned over the last two years. Vexen scowled at his tone and raised a suspicious brow.

"Excuse me?" he questioned, warning the brunette to watch his mouth.

"You heard me. Carriers aren't 'beasts' or 'objects.' Things and animals don't hold conversations, they don't have opinions, and they don't show emotion or do things for the hell of it because it's fun. They don't have hobbies, or read, or write, or do any of the other things that supposedly classify them as 'inhuman.' But Carriers do. They do everything we can do and in a lot of cases, they can do them better. Why? If it was their big plan to manipulate their Charges into what you made sound like mindless slavery, then wouldn't they just skip all the human mannerisms and get right down to business? Why have a name? Why forge a relationship? Fuck, why would they even have sex? If all they wanted was results for their project wouldn't they just herd us around like a bunch of cows and force us?"

"It's the Technicians. They force the human hand on the Carriers to keep things bearable for the Charges. They are the saving grace of the projects. They have the sensibilities about them to not fall for the Carrier's games. They use them like tools to keep things on track and that's why the Charges have as much as they do at their disposal. I'm quite certain that if the Technicians weren't there, then it would be just as you said. A herd of human cattle for the Carriers to use."

"That's fucking bullshit. Why the hell would the Technicians even bother to make the Carriers they way they are if the Carriers were just giant headaches that they needed to control? If anything, you need to push your judgment onto the Technicians. They're the ones who started all the things that you seem to hate so much."

"Sora you misunderstand—"

"No, _you_ misunderstand. Maybe if you hadn't been such a dick in the beginning of your life here you might have been able to find the happiness that Roxas has with Axel. If you're telling me that what I see between them is all lies then you really need to just stuff your shoe up your own ass before I do. That's bullshit. The only reason I don't have that with Riku is because I'm a fucking idiot. You helped me understand it all because of your prejudice and closed-minded fuckery. I don't think like you do. At all. And unless I do, I shouldn't leave because there isn't any reason I should. I have the freedom, as a person, to go out and live my life the way I want to, even if I go home to sleep next my Carrier every night. And if you tell me that's because I'm brainwashed and I'm thinking the way Riku wants me to, then oh fucking well. Maybe I want to be brainwashed. It's my life to do with as I please. And if I decide in a hundred years that it's all been some awful waste of time, then that's my prerogative too," Sora said with a stern voice and a harsh glare. He stood from the sofa, picking up his jacket at the same time with his free hand.

"You're making an enormous mistake, Sora," Vexen warned as the brunette began stomping away. The brunette stopped in front of the fireplace and sent him another glare.

"At least it's my mistake and I decided to do it on my own. And by the way, your hot cocoa tastes like piss," Sora spat and tossed the mug behind himself into the fire. He quickly swung his coat over his shoulders and pushed his arms into the sleeves. "I really hope you come to your senses before you die, Vexen. Xion doesn't deserve your mistreatment and the karma you've racked up letting your wife beat on her is going to come around and bite you in the dick eventually."

"As if you understand anything. I've explained all the facts to you as if you were a child and yet you're still ignorant enough to believe the hogwash your Carrier has told you. If you're going to go back to your fantasy land of candy and gumdrops, where Carriers are innocent and aren't using you for their own benefit, then tell nx14 I said 'hello,' and that she can go home with you," Vexen sneered.

"I'm sure she'd be happier with me anyway," Sora snorted and made his way to the door. He stepped out into the cold and slammed it closed behind himself. He let out an immediate yelp and covered his head with his arms. In his anger and frustration, he hadn't heard the wind pick up and the storm that had started outside. He could hardly see his nose in the blinding white as it whipped his skin and blasted him with the freezing temperatures. His steps forward were slow and uneven, but he managed to traverse the fifty feet it took to get to his cabin. He let his arms down to grab the handle and tug the metal door open. It took a lot of effort to force it against the wind but he managed to stumble inside without much damage. It was pitch black inside and he fumbled around for the light switch.

"Hello?" Roxas asked from somewhere in the room. It took a moment to stop his teeth from chattering, but Sora eventually managed to speak.

"Hey," he said flatly. His fingers flicked the switch and nothing happened.

"Don't try the lights, the power went out like twenty minutes ago," the blonde said.

"Oh, where are you?"

"In my bed."

"Is Axel here?"

"No, he went out to find himself something to eat, but hopefully he's far enough away that he didn't get caught in this bullshit," Roxas huffed. In his bed, he had wrapped himself up like a burrito in his blankets. No power, meant no heat. Sora hadn't been inside long enough to notice. The brunette stripped off his snow caked jacket and let it drop to the floor with his boots.

"Are you dealing with it okay?" he asked, eluding to the blonde's fear of storms.

"It's not a thunderstorm, I'm fine. Worried. But fine."

"Yeah, I hear you. Riku and Xion are out there too," Sora said.


	83. Chapter 83

**Chapter 83**

_Chicken chicken chicken chicken_ , were the thoughts that raced through Axel's mind as he barreled down on a pheasant that had happened upon his hiding place. He was more of a fan of pork but in his situation, he couldn't be choosy. He had found that if he hid in the bushes and tall grasses, he could remain concealed long enough to get close to something. His coloration didn't matter in the long run because the dense foliage was enough cover and his stripes helped considerably in breaking up his shape. The pheasant never saw him coming. But it could still fly and it flailed around once he hooked a huge paw into its body. Axel had to stop his advance so he could get another foot around and trap it. It was a quick death but not nearly enough to sustain him.

Even if he found adequate shelter, he was still at a severe disadvantage. The bigger prey roamed the fields and clearings along the tree line. He would be set if he could grab a deer or even one of Xion's kind. He wouldn't have to eat for a week. But the open areas gave less coverage so he was stuck with birds and whatever rodents he could snag. Marmots and other groundhog-like creatures were relatively easy to come by and tended to have more meat on them than the weasels, but the pheasants were even bigger than that. He settled down under his bushy hiding place and began the painstaking process of pulling out the bird's feathers with his teeth. He really wasn't partial to stuffing himself on the plumes before he could get to anything substantial.

After his snack, Axel pulled himself to his feet again, licking his lips and whiskers clean. He had seen plenty of things to eat but had only managed to catch himself the bird, and a couple of mice he had crunched up like potato chips. If he was desperate by the time he needed to head back to the cabin, he could always substitute the rest of his meal with grasses and any berries he could find. It wasn't an ideal situation, but he could make do with it. He just hoped he could figure out what kinds of berries were okay for eating.

* * *

Riku was having even less luck than Axel was. He was much further up the mountain than the tiger and was caught in the blizzard. He had found a small group of bharals when the snow started to pick up but lost them along with his visibility within ten minutes. So he hunkered down between two rocks and curled himself up as small as he could, covering his face with his tail to wait it out. After an hour of waiting, nothing had changed. The wind was still shoving his coat around and the tips of his hairs were becoming crystallized. He wasn't really all that cold yet though. Unless something happened and he suddenly became soaked right down to his skin, he wouldn't be bothered by it. But the clock was ticking and the more time he spent doing nothing, the less time he had to find food. He was hungry, and hunting was serving more purposes now than just work.

* * *

Xion was having the easiest time. She was strolling around the low shallow cliffs of the foothills, keeping her distance from a large herd of her kin that she had found. She couldn't just walk up and expect to be accepted, and she wasn't staying long enough to make the effort to be part of the group. Her solution was to hang around the perimeter and pretend she belonged. It wasn't hard and she brought little attention to herself from the males, which would've been bad if they had thought she was on the mating scene. Without any of Riku's natural offspring around, she had very little to worry about when it came to predators as well. So she milled around, nibbling on the flora and acting casual. It was relaxing, and she could allow her mind to wander.

* * *

For the first time in his life, Sora was having an issue with his pride. He had effectively come to his senses with his whole situation around Riku but he was avoiding admitting his mistakes to Roxas. They sat together quietly in the dark and the growing cold for two hours before Sora finally summoned up the courage to say something. They had wrapped themselves up in layers upon layers of blankets as the wind whipped around outside, making the atmosphere feel colder than it actually was. Roxas had busied himself with his reading, while Sora whittled the hours away doing nothing but thinking. He had had enough, though and clambered out of his bed and flopped into Roxas', dragging his blankets behind himself and piling them on with his brother's.

"Can I help you?" the blonde asked, raising a brow in his suspicion. The light from his tablet had ruined his night vision so even as he looked over the screen, he couldn't see his brother. But he was there.

"I'm sorry," Sora blurted with an almost desperate sounding inflection.

"Uh, okay. Thanks? You're going to have to be more specific than that."

"I'm sorry about everything. The last few weeks, the way I've been a complete dick, how I've pushed you away for no reason. Everything. I've… I've made a huge mistake."

"Oh. That. Well, yeah. I agree. Mistakes were made but I only deserve a couple apologies. You have way more to give to Riku. What brought all this on?"

"I can't decide if it was good or not, but I went to talk to Vexen and he cleared a lot of things up. He's a really awful guy, and he gave me a good idea of what I would come off as if I was to just… up and leave Riku hanging. I still don't know what I want to do exactly, and I still don't love Riku like I'm probably supposed to, but at the very least I know I don't want to leave. I can be happy sticking around; I just need to figure out how."

"I'm sure Riku will help you. I'm glad you're staying. I thought Vexen was going to corrupt you even more than what you had done to yourself."

"He tried to. He told me a really scary way of looking at things and it made a lot of sense, but as soon as he started to support the Carrier mistreatment and all of that, that's when I saw what an awful person he really was. I'm happy Xion isn't actually part of his life, regardless of how lonely she must feel. It'd be worse to be with him."

"You should've realized he was a bad guy when he let Maleficent smack Xion at the airport without doing anything about it," Roxas huffed. Sora winced at his harsh tone but understood.

"Yeah I know, but I wanted to believe it wasn't really that bad," the brunette said.

"Alright fine. I accept your apology," the blonde said flatly.

"Why don't you sound very thrilled?"

"Because I think it would have more of an impact if I could see your face."

"Should I be crying or something?"

"Possibly."

"…Why?"

"Because it'd be more dramatic."

"Oh," Sora deadpanned, scrunching his brows together confusedly.

"At any rate, half my head is still stuck worrying about Axel. I'm glad you came to your senses. Really. But so long as the snow is blowing and the power is out, I'm not feeling very optimistic."

And so the air remained between them. For the remainder of the day and into the next, the storm raged on outside. Sora and Roxas did what they could to stay warm and take care of each other. The refrigerator stayed closed as much as it could, but it wasn't like anything was going to rot if they left it open. The room temperature had dropped to just above freezing. The plumbing hardly worked but it was enough to keep things civil, if a bit sticky. They spent most of their time wrapped up in a blanket together, stealing the other's body heat and worrying about the Carriers, all of which were still missing. Sleep was light and far from satisfying. Vexen, Maleficent, and Saïx hadn't stopped by or attempted to make any contact but neither sibling expected them to.

By the time the storm subsided, it was almost two full days after it started. The power flicked on abruptly, startling the siblings some, but allowing them to breathe a sigh of relief. The heat turned on again and the vents screamed to life as the warm air flowed in, thawing out their skeletons from the inside. But the Carriers were still missing, and it left them worried.

* * *

Axel's stomach was bothering him. He wasn't exactly hungry anymore, but he wasn't full either. His hunting abilities were less than what he thought they were and after almost two days of paltry success, he was just about fed up. He needed to head back to the cabin though, before he needed to change back. He had marked a path for himself on the trees as he passed by them, leaving a scented roadmap to find his way back with. He followed his nose for several miles as his angry stomach gurgled away at him.

All was not lost though. He did manage to eat enough to sustain himself for a few more days, and he had caught a hare that he was saving for later. He carried it in his teeth gently, attempting to not rip it apart before he could get it back to the cabin to share with Roxas. He hoped his Charge wouldn't be too repulsed by his gift because really, there are more romantic things he could bring home than a dead hare, but he also didn't want Roxas' protein consumption to dwindle to nothing because the refrigerator dictated it. A growing boy needed his vitamins, after all, and even though Roxas refused the Carrier's invitation for a bunny-themed meal, Axel wasn't going to let that be a deterrent.

The journey back to the cabin was quiet. Birds chirped overhead, and the trees swayed in the breeze giving the air a hushed ambient soundtrack for the tiger to listen to as he trekked through them. As he grew closer to the mountain again the forest gave way to rocky foothills and his steps slowed as they became more careful. He almost lost his hare on several occasions, but even with his clumsy climbing abilities, he managed to set foot on the smooth snow again, just as the sun was beginning to recede. His stomach was being a major pain still, and he was tempted to stop to graze on what little grass he could find, much like someone's pet dog would do to help himself vomit. Perhaps that what it would take to make him feel better. He decided against it though. He wasn't in the mood to eat a bunch of grass and by the time he had considered the idea, the cabins were already in view again.

Doorknobs. They were a problem when one didn't have fingers. Axel wasn't ready to change back yet simply because he wondered if whatever was wrong with his stomach had to do with the bones he had ingested. If he were to change back now, and it _was_ a bone causing a problem, he could hurt himself when his stomach shrank to accommodate his Impant. He didn't know how long he had left to stay in his Primal form, but he didn't feel any problems just yet so he figured a couple more hours couldn't hurt. But that didn't change the fact that the doorknob was posing a serious problem for him. He pawed at the door, scratching at it and pulling at the jamb with his claws. It took several minutes for someone to notice but eventually, Sora opened the door for him with a confused face.

"Axel? What—Oh god, is that a rabbit?" the brunette squealed, his face turning distressed when he noticed the limp form in the Carrier's teeth. Axel inched the door open more with his foot and shoved Sora aside with his face before heading in. The brunette tried to push him back outside. "No! Don't bring it in here! Gross!"

 _Well it's going to end up in the kitchen eventually_ , Axel thought to himself. Sora's attempts to stop him were thwarted easily though as he kept pushing inside. He padded across the room and pushed himself up enough to drop the hare into the sink. Ignoring the brunette's protesting, the tiger looked around the cabin for his Charge curiously. When he noticed the shower running behind the closed bathroom door, he was instantly intrigued. He went to the door and sat in front of it, looking to Sora expectantly. The brunette looked between the hare and the cat several times before letting out an exasperated sigh and heading over to the bathroom door. He inched in front of Axel and opened it a crack, just enough to yell inside to his brother.

"Roxas, Axel's ba- _aaack_!" Sora squealed as the tiger shoved him out of the way. The brunette flailed around as one of his legs was shoved upwards, forcing his equilibrium out of balance and making him stumble so the door opened fully with him clinging to it for dear life. Roxas, in the shower, pushed his brows together and stuck his head out from behind the dilapidated shower curtain.

"Axel, what the fuck? Change back and then come in," the blonde huffed, watching as the cat made his way into the space that hardly had enough room to fit him. Axel sprawled out on the bath mat, taking up most of the floor space and making his intentions clear. He wasn't leaving. Roxas sighed and looked to Sora, who was pulling himself up from the floor with a scowl. "Could you go get my earpiece?" he asked. The brunette sent Axel a glare before nodding and heading back out into the main space. He came back a few moments later and handed the device off to his brother before leaving them, pulling the door closed as he left. Roxas pushed the shower curtain open and knelt in front of the cat. Axel opened obediently.

" _I think I need to cough up a hairball,_ " Axel said once the earpeice was in place.

"Uh, hello to you too. I was worried," Roxas snorted. "Hairballs?"

" _I'm serious. Only mine would be more…skeleton related rather than fur. My stomach is killing me_."

"That's really disgusting, Axel. I was sort of hoping you'd be more cuddly versus barfy once you came back. I haven't seen you in two days, the least you could do is say 'hello.'"

" _I'll cuddle once I'm able to change back. I promise. I just want to make sure it isn't a bone poking me that's making my stomach hurt_."

"Eating everything whole?"

" _When most everything you find is small and just big enough for a couple of mouthfuls, it's sort of hard to pick out the pieces you don't want to eat._ "

"Not much luck finding one of Xion's kind?"

" _No. Sadly. I did find a hare I want you to eat._ "

"…You _found_ it?"

" _Caught it._ "

"Oh. Well why don't you eat it? I'm fine."

" _Because I don't want you to have a protein deficiency while we're here. All that's in the refrigerator is weeds and sticks._ "

"You mean vegetables and fruit," Roxas corrected with an amused smile. There was more than that but he could agree the amount of protein was a little lacking. He wasn't about to help Axel gut an animal for a meal though.

" _Right. Weeds and sticks._ "

"Well, so long as you handle it all for me and just hand off the finished product, I can deal with it. I need to finish my shower though and you're taking up all the room in here. Can you wait outside for me?" the blonde asked.

" _Oh well I_ _suppose_ _,_ " Axel sighed. Roxas laughed a bit and disconnected the earpiece. He shuffled out of the shower and around the cat and hide behind the door as he opened it. The Carrier padded out into the main living area where Sora was staring at the hare in the sink like someone had just presented him with a sick orphan puppy with only three legs and his mom wasn't letting him keep it. There was a knock on the front door that startled them both. Sora peeled his eyes away from the animal and went to answer. It was Saïx.

"I saw 4x31 come back. I want a report," the Technician said sternly and without greeting. Axel padded across the room to him and stood next to the brunette, peering up at the man. Saïx glowered at him. A light breeze came through and pushed his strong cologne into Axel's nostrils and the Carrier's stomach gave a violent lurch. Without warning the Carrier could feel everything start to churn and come up and he bolted outside, knocking Saïx backwards into the snow. After galloping several feet away Axel stopped and waited for everything to come up. Once all the indigestible pieces parts of all the animals he had consumed littered the ground in front of him, he felt a million times better. He sighed a relieved mental sigh and was happy to be able to change back.

"Saïx!" the redhead cried happily as he bolted towards the Technician, completely naked. Sora's hands flew to his eyes and he stumbled back into the cabin, closing the door on them both. Axel hauled the Technician to his feet again and crushed him into his chest. Saïx let out a disgusted yell and pushed at the Carrier.

"Unhand me you disgusting wretch!" the man bellowed angrily but Axel held steady.

"Your nasty smell made me barf! Now I feel better! Thank you!" the Carrier twittered and swung Saïx around like a ragdoll. The Technician was strong enough to push Axel around on many occasions but if the redhead could surprise him and subdue him some, he found that Saïx wasn't that hard to deal with on a physical level. If only he'd stop bathing in his cologne, he might have been tolerable. He let go of the Technician and held him by the shoulders at arms length. "And now I need to go inside and have crazy homo sex with my Charge. Bye!" he said and dashed to the door. He yanked it open and swooped inside before Saïx could say anything else.

"Gah!" Sora cried as his eyes were assaulted again. He covered his face with his hands again.

"Sorry, sorry, hang on," Axel amended and hurried over to his luggage. He pulled out a pair of clean shorts before heading further into the room and shoving himself into the bathroom again. Roxas startled and peeked out from behind the shower curtain.

"Oh. Hi again," the blonde said and went back to his bathing.

"Hi," Axel said casually and strolled to the sink. He pulled his toothbrush out of the cup that everyone had left theirs in and groped around for the toothpaste. He brushed his entire mouth out vigorously and made sure all of the remnants of his adventures in the outdoors were gone before he dropped his toothbrush back into the cup and abruptly deposited himself in the shower with the blonde. He didn't give Roxas very much time to react before he wrapped his arms around his stomach from behind and buried his face into the flattened flaxen tufts.

"Feeling better?" Roxas questioned.

"I am. Saïx made me barf. So now I'm good, and I can cuddle."

"Wait, Saïx is out there?"

"He was, yeah. He wants a report from me but he can wait. He hasn't chased me in here yet so it must not be that dire."

"Axel…" Roxas sighed and rubbed his brows.

"Relax. It's fine. I'll make a report later. After I smother you into the tile and make you dinner."

"If you could do both at the same time, I'd sell tickets," Roxas laughed. He tried to let Axel's carelessness slide for now. The Carrier smiled and bent down to rest his face on his shoulder. They stood together under the warm spray for several minutes before Roxas decided to strike up a new conversation. "So, how did you do in the storm?"

"There was a storm?" Axel questioned confusedly. Roxas attempted to peek at him but couldn't see much aside from a mass of red hair.

"Yeah, the power was out for almost two days. It started a few hours after you left."

"Oh. I didn't get caught in it."

"Lucky. It was freezing in here. I could've used you," the blonde huffed. Axel pulled away and gently turned Roxas around by his shoulders to face him.

"I'm sorry. Had I known, I wouldn't have left."

"What happened to being able to feel storms coming?"

"Well I can't feel _simulated_ ones. It's a whole different technology than the actual sky, Roxas. The weather simulators don't have their own atmospheres like the planet does."

"Oh. Well never mind then."

"I really wish I could tell when they're coming though. I would've been able to stay here and kept you warm."

"It's fine. Sora and I stuck to each other."

"You're on speaking terms again?"

"Yeah. He's finally stopped being stupid. He's staying, though things are still a bit shaky. He needs Riku to come back so they can patch things up. And when that happens, I think you and I might have to disappear for a couple hours if you get what I mean."

"Aaah, yes. The obligatory make-up sex."

"If Sora's that giving, yeah. Quite frankly I think Riku deserves at _least_ a decent blowjob after all the bullshit he's gone through the last few weeks," Roxas said gruffly and crossed his arms over his chest. Axel snorted and laughed.

"That sounds really strange coming from you."

"My train of thought ends there; I don't need the mental imagery of my brother sucking someone's dick."

"Well regardless, I'm glad Sora's not a twat anymore."

"You and me both," Roxas agreed and let out a sigh. Axel wrapped him in a firm embrace and kissed the top of his head. The blonde leaned against him and draped his arms around the redhead's waist limply.

"I'll try not to be out as long next time. Hopefully my ecosystem dome will be a bit easier for me to hunt in. I'm glad you're safe though."

"I hope it'll be easier for you too. I'm the one who should be grateful you're safe though. You were in far more danger than I was. Nature and the elements and all that."

"Eh, when you're an apex you don't have to worry about much coming after you. Plus most of the things I chased gave me a look like 'what the fuck is _that_?' so I'm pretty sure even if something was to come after me, they wouldn't really know what to do," Axel chuckled and leaned down for a kiss. Roxas smiled and met him halfway.

* * *

One of the things Radiant Garden and that whole plane's society did to the immigrants is shoved all the unpleasant jobs off on them for minimal pay. People would come to America in search of more work and a better life and would find dumpy jobs cutting people's grass or working with often bloody results and heavy labor. Axel, in his time pretending to be a Swedish immigrant, did a lot of those jobs because people rarely asked questions and were only looking for an extra pair of hands. It was during that time he learned a few extra skills he didn't actually think he would ever need again, such as skinning and cleaning animals. Working in a meat packing plant was not only profitable and allowed him to feed himself during his stay in the other plane, but right at that moment, Axel was feeling particularly manly and it gave him a small smile the entire time he spent outside cleaning his catch in the snow.

Providing a meal for loved ones gave him a smug satisfaction he couldn't really explain. It wasn't like Roxas was his child or anything, even less so when he thought about Sora, but it felt right. Like he was supposed to be doing this. Like it was his purpose to take care of the blonde and ensure that he had enough to eat and a pair of warm arms to sleep in. To Axel, those were the few things that he could give Roxas aside from a lasting and loving relationship and children. Those just came with the territory. Security was the hard part.

Burying the insides and skin in the snow, Axel wiped his hands off in the powder as much as he could before tossing his naked and headless hare into its roasting pan with the knife he had been using. Hoisting the pan up high so he could walk into the cabin without Roxas accidentally peeking at the carnage, he headed straight for the kitchen and plopped it on the counter. Roxas, in reflex, buried himself under his blankets with his tablet. Sora simply ignored the redhead as Axel struck up a tune with himself as he washed his hands and rinsed the knife. Cooking was another skill the Carrier wasn't aware he would ever need to use again. They had very little in terms of spices but a bit of salt and pepper was enough for him as he hummed quietly to himself, shoving the roasting pan into the already pre-heated oven. He stared curiously at the oven's console for a few moments before he figured out the timer and set it. He stood straight again and gave his clothing a once-over, making sure he didn't get anything on himself before he made his way to his and Roxas' bed.

Roxas had shared a few books with Sora and the brunette was engrossed in his own novel for a brief second before he noticed Axel sneaking across the room. The brunette watched him with a raised brow but quiet contemplation. The redhead held an index finger up to his lips to assure Sora would stay quiet as he snuck closer to Roxas' lump under the covers. The brunette caught on immediately and returned to his book innocently. Axel got as close as he could before he launched himself onto the unsuspecting lump and tackled into his Charge. Roxas let out a surprised scream as the fabric went flying with his tablet in a jumbled mess. Axel clamped his arms around the blonde's waist and waited for Roxas to remember that he wasn't being axe-murdered. The blonde stopped after a few minutes and held his chest with one hand, panting heavily in a failing attempt to catch his breath. Sora held his sides with his laughter and rolled to his side.

"Practicing Lamaze? Is there something you're not telling me, Roxas? When was your last menstrual cycle?" Axel asked innocently, peering up from the blonde's stomach to his face. The Charge's face was coated in a thin film of sweat and he swallowed thickly, blinking a few times. He sent the Carrier a piercing murderous glare. Axel grinned and nuzzled his abdomen with his nose.

"I hate you," Roxas spat. Axel laughed.

"I'm pretty sure that's an enormous lie."

"Not at the moment it isn't."

"Ah well. You'll get over it," the redhead assured and released the blonde and sat up. "Dinner in and around a half hour, by the way."

"I've never eaten a rabbit before…" Sora said and scrunched his brows together.

"Technically it's a hare. There's a slight difference but they taste the same. To me anyway. It's not bad," Axel said.

"I can't stop thinking of the bunnies in the pet store though," the brunette said. Axel snorted.

"Yes well, I can guarantee I didn't steal it from someone's house. No worries. But you don't have to eat it if you don't want to."

"I'm still on the fence about that."

"You're still on the fence about a lot of things," Roxas snorted. Sora shrugged and nodded.

"I can agree with that." They fell into a comfortable silence together as the hare cooked away, filling the air with the pungent smell of roasted meat. The longer it lingered, the hungrier Roxas became and the less he thought about his disgust with having to see it before it was his meal. It was a necessary part of nature for prey to be eaten and since Axel had made such an effort to save it for him, the least he could do was try it. A few minutes before the timer on the oven went off there was a light scratching at the front door that pulled everyone's attention to it. Sora set his tablet aside and pushed himself out of the bed to answer.

Riku had come back and was peering up at the brunette curiously when he opened the door. Sora gave him a small smile, the beginnings of the mending process, and Riku's heart did a flip in his broad fuzzy chest. He was already overly pleased with himself and the added niceties his Charge was giving him swelled his pride even more. He couldn't reciprocate the smile though, because he was still in his Primal form, but he flicked his tail happily anyway. He had spent the last nine hours dragging his trophy from the cliffs and managed to pull it all the way back to the cabins in one piece. He scampered away from the door to where he had dropped it a few yards away. He sat in the snow next to it and waited for Sora to notice.

"Holy _fuck_ ," the brunette gasped as his jaw nearly hit the ground. That reaction prompted further investigation and Axel and Roxas appeared behind Sora to see what was up. The redhead let out a gasp.

"Oh fuck rabbits. That's not even fair," Axel huffed.

Riku had managed to snag himself a bull bharal that had to have weighed at least one hundred and fifty pounds. Compared to Riku, who was much lighter, the feat of dragging it back home alone was enough to impress anyone. How he managed to do it without falling to his death was another matter, and how he wasn't crushed by its enormous span of horns was even more mystifying. Riku was satisfied letting them think whatever they wanted to because the fact that he was successful was enough to keep him in a smug sense of self satisfaction. In reality, it was much less dramatic than what they were probably thinking. Sure, rock climbing took some effort and dragging the beast home was a literal pain in the jaw, but the actual catch was relatively easy. The storm had calmed enough for him to see and one of the male bharals had taken to curling up on the ground with it's back to the wind less than fifteen feet in front of him. All it took was a quick sprint and well-aimed teeth and it was over. He didn't even have to jump. The rest of the time was spent figuring out a route back to the cabins that wouldn't drop the animal too far and split it open. Riku was exhausted though and only allowed his gloating to last for a few minutes before he left the catch where he had dropped it and headed towards the doors.

"My my," came a partially surprised yet very calm voice. It was followed by a female haughty gasp of disgust. Everyone looked across the way where Vexen and Maleficent had emerged from their cabin and were walking towards them. The man stopped when he was about to pass Riku's catch and peered down at it's face before giving it a wide, snarl-like smile. "Well done," he said, looking to Riku, who had stopped to notice him. The Carrier proceeded to re-ignore him again and pushed himself inside between everyone's legs.

"Now if only nx14 would bring her useless self back here we could get out of this hellish place," Maleficent scoffed and hugged her fluffy fur coat around herself further. It was synthetic fur, or so everyone hoped. Vexen shrugged and nodded.

"Patience. She'll be back soon, I'm sure. She can't stay out there much longer."

* * *

After giving his report to Saïx that evening, Axel went back to the cabin where Roxas and Sora had finished their meals. The redhead had picked all the meat off the bones of the hare and handed it off along with a salad for them. They ate everything without protest though it was clear Sora was straining to not think of pet store rabbits during the meal. They didn't hate it, and Axel was pleased enough. Riku had changed back and promptly fell asleep in Sora's bed without having a conversation with anyone. It was clear he was done for the day and Axel only hoped he would share his bharal with him in the morning. He was sure it would happen because Riku was cool like that, so he wasn't too worried. Everyone _was_ worried, however, for Xion. She hadn't returned.

Two cars arrived shortly after Axel made his report. One was a rental intended for Saïx's use while the interior of his own was being replaced, and one was to take the driver of the rental back. They hooked the soiled car up to the back of the one that was leaving and it was towed away for repairs. Axel was thoroughly pleased with himself, regardless of how immature the entire situation was. He stood in front of the window inside the cabin and watched the cars pull away with a soft chuckle. Even if it cost him a years worth of pay and mild bloodshed, it was worth it. Saïx deserved everything he could dish out, he felt.

The evening was quiet otherwise. The dishes were washed, the kitchen cleaned, and pajamas were donned. Axel and Roxas cuddled up together quietly and attempted peaceful sleep even though their minds were racing for their female companion's well being. Sora was having similar difficulties but they were compounded when he needed to get in the bed. Riku had sprawled out over it's surface in his hurriedness to get some proper rest and the brunette was left with hardly a sliver of blanketed real estate to squeeze into. Then there was the fact that he felt he didn't even _deserve_ to sleep next to the snowy Carrier anymore. He felt extremely foolish for everything he had done and the longer he hesitated to get into the bed, the worse off he felt.

He had genuinely missed Riku while the Carrier was off on the hunt. He wasn't going to openly admit it to Roxas however, and kept it mostly to himself. Seeing how peacefully Riku slept now without him, wasn't helping either. Reluctantly, Sora leaned over the bed and nudged Riku's shoulder a bit. The Carrier didn't seem to notice. He nudged harder. Again, no luck. Sora had to practically lift him and roll him over before Riku stirred enough to notice what a hindrance he was being. The snowy Carrier grunted at the brunette in apology a few times before scooting away as far as he could and curling up against the edge of the mattress, giving his Charge as much room as he could with the impression Sora still wasn't okay with him.

The brunette proved him wrong though and quickly climbed into the bed and snaked his arms around Riku's chest and hugged him from behind. Riku was awake in an instant and looked behind himself to a mass of chocolate spikes. He was confused, but didn't want to chance his luck with words. He gently rolled over and scooted them both into the middle of the bed and quickly wrapped his arms around Sora, hugging him close. The brunette buried his face into the Carrier's chest and heaved a sad dejected sigh. Riku rubbed his back reassuringly a few times. Sora pulled back and looked up at him with apologetic eyes and a pleading face. He opened his mouth to say something, to blurt all of his pent up apologies and excuses out into one long run-on sentence, but Riku pressed a finger to his mouth to silence him. The Carrier gave him a smile before leaning down and planting a tender kiss to the brunette's forehead.

"I love you, Sora."


	84. Chapter 84

**Chapter 84**

There was a light ruffling of blankets that Riku was vaguely aware of somewhere around four thirty in the morning. The mattress beneath him wasn't moving so he knew it wasn't Sora. The brunette was still safely tucked under his chin and the Carrier was also, at that moment, vaguely aware of his arm being numb from his Charge's weight. But there it was, the ruffling sound again, and Riku picked his head up to look across the room. Xion's bed was still flat and to his sleep filled and groggy brain, that wasn't a problem yet. Then, there was a dip in the mattress behind him and that woke him up a bit more. He untangled himself from Sora as gently as he could to roll over. He had to throw a hand over his mouth to stifle the startled gasp he was about to let out when he was suddenly presented with an extreme close up of _Axel_.

"Axel hungry," the redhead pouted in a mocked tone, one as childish as he could make it. He was stooped on the ground next to the snowy Carrier with his hands grasping the edges of the bed and peeking over it sheepishly. Riku's own stomach chose that moment of early morning energy to let out a loud growl. Axel snorted back a laugh. "Apparently I don't need to dance around the subject. Want to grab some breakfast before they wake up and give us weird looks?" he asked in his normal voice, just barely above a whisper.

"You want my goat. That's why you woke me up at this awful hour?" Riku asked quietly, bringing a palm to his eye in order to rub it.

"Dude. Seriously? If you can eat that entire thing by yourself, I'll fucking buy you a lacy negligee for Sora to wear."

"That was a little uncalled for."

"But you don't deny it would be awesome. The suggestion alone is worth at least a steak. I'm _starved_."

"Hunting didn't go as well as you had hoped, I take it?"

"Uh, no," Axel said flatly. Sure, what he initially thought would stick around for a few days sounded nice when he was relatively full. He would probably survive even if he did force himself to wait, but with a veritable smorgasbord outside slowly gathering frost as the time ticked by, he couldn't help himself. "In my defense, I did as much as I could in the time I was allotted and out of my natural habitat. I think I did okay. I want you to go out and hunt in the rainforest, just so you could experience my pain."

"I will probably have to. So no worries," Riku agreed and slowly pushed himself up. Now that he was relatively awake, he could assess the situation a bit better. He decided he agreed with Axel's notion of getting up early to eat. At the very least it would spare Roxas and Sora the knowledge of their Carriers stuffing their faces into a bloody carcass together like a couple of old chums having tea. The culture barrier there was lost on the Charges and though they were loved dearly, the awkwardness that would follow wasn't worth the headache. It was easier to deal with when their food was presented to them in precise pre-prepared cubes in the cafeteria. Riku reached over and pulled Sora's arm up to his face. He clicked the volume down on the brunette's watch so it wouldn't wake him when he changed. Axel took the hint and did the same with Roxas before they both silently made their ways outside.

"Xion's not back," Axel remarked at normal volume as he pulled up his shirt and began pulling it over his head. "I honestly don't blame her if she's doing it willingly."

"Me either," Riku agreed. The bharal was right where he had left it, but was surrounded by tire tracks and the snowy Carrier squinted at the snow curiously. He looked behind himself to see that Saïx's rental car was missing. "Saïx is gone too," he said.

"Huh. Weird," the redhead snorted as he took in the empty parking space. Saïx had many responsibilities, Axel figured. He was probably up and working by this time every day. After all, it was only about an hour before the redhead's own usual wake-up time, he could understand and explain the absence away easily.

They changed and Axel pulled the catch as far away as he could and out of immediate eyesight so they didn't leave too much of a mess. They settled in and took their time eating as much as they safely could. There was more than enough and Axel contemplated coming back out and cutting off a piece for Roxas and Sora to share but he wasn't sure how they felt about eating such a close relative of Xion's. A rabbit was much less personal since they didn't know the parents. They buried as much of the carnage in the snow as they could before taking turns rolling in the white and cleaning their faces. It was then that they changed back, went back inside, brushed their mouths out vigorously and washed their faces again and crawled back into their beds. They settled down with their respective Charges, both of them remembering to turn the volume back up on their watches, and allowed the food coma to sink in.

Sometime around six in the morning, Saïx finally came back. Xion, however, did not.

* * *

Roxas was the first to awaken. The sun was streaming in through the curtainless window and prying his eyelids open even though he fought it off with figurative brass knuckles and Molotov cocktails. Axel was in front of him though, providing a miniscule safe haven to hide behind. He quickly scooted forward and buried his face in the redhead's sternum, threatening to hiss at the light like a vampire. The Carrier's chest let out a low hum in recognition before an arm coiled around him and hugged him protectively. It was the first peaceful morning they had shared together in almost a week and they both heaved contented sighs at the space between them grew less and less until they were tangled together comfortably. Neither of them moved much otherwise for over twenty minutes.

The only problem was that once the twenty minute mark passed, Roxas' bladder threatened to stab him and take his money. The blonde nuzzled his face into Axel a bit before shuffling backwards and fumbling his way out of the bed. Axel watched his Charge stumble sleepily towards the bathroom, unceremoniously scratching at an itch on his left butt cheek through his boxers. The Carrier had to fight off a laugh for the second time that morning with the display. The movement coupled with the lack of proper clothing clearly said to anyone who cared to see 'yeah that's right, I'm man enough to openly itch my ass and not give a damn about what you think about it. I'll probably adjust my sack later, too,' but Axel wondered if Roxas was even awake enough to notice he had done it.

A toilet flush and a few minutes of running water from the sink later, and the blonde remerged from the bathroom and threw himself back into the bed tiredly. Having been up for almost three days before worrying about Axel out in the wilderness and dealing with the storm, Roxas had decided he really wasn't ready to start the day yet. Axel seemed to not have gotten the memo though and cuddled up to him readily, pressing them together again. The blonde let him have his snuggle for a few minutes before allowing himself to drift. Then he felt something jab him in the stomach and he was suddenly aware that Axel was naked; which was extremely awkward because Sora was less than twenty feet away and that little epiphany led into the one where Roxas realized he and Axel's quiet agreement of _some_ coverage was blown out of the water.

"What the—Axel..." Roxas trailed in a half-whine as quietly as he could. The redhead hid his face in the blonde's hair, cheeks turning pink.

"Sorry, I can't help it," the Carrier pouted in a whisper. He really couldn't. Morning Wood and he weren't the best of friends at that moment. "Riku and I were up earlier and we had breakfast and then we just sort of… didn't care about pants once we were done," he explained.

"…Please don't tell me that means Riku's naked too," the blonde huffed.

"He is."

"Do you have any idea how fucking _weird_ this is for me? What about Xion? She's going to wake up and—"

"She's not here yet," Axel said before Roxas could continue. The blonde stopped and pushed himself up to look across the room. Xion's bed was still void of her presence and he pushed his brows together. The redhead fiddled with the waistband of his Charge's underwear a bit, pulling the blonde's attention to him again. Axel's hand retreated back to himself and he gave Roxas wide innocent eyes. The blonde knew exactly where this was going and sighed.

"Axel…" he trailed again.

"Just a bit?" Axel asked. Roxas' half asleep mind wasn't up for heavy discussion yet so he caved easily and flopped back on the mattress. He inched out of his boxers and set them aside for easy recovery. He got comfortable against the pillows again and turned towards his lover, who was smiling from ear to ear. Roxas wasn't amused. Axel ignored the steely glare he was getting in favor of tucking himself under the blonde's chin and wrapping himself around as much skin as he could. Roxas wondered, for a second, if Axel would run around in his Primal form more if it was smaller, just so he could have the excuse to be naked all the time. His fascination with skin and touching was sometimes suffocating on the blonde's end. Roxas normally didn't mind the touching and they way things generally progressed, but with his brother (and Riku) so close and in the same room, he desperately hoped Axel could keep himself under control. The redhead behaved himself and ran his hands over his Charge in such a way that was no more than gentle petting. Things were quiet for over an hour as Roxas drifted back to sleep, coaxed along by the redhead's rhythmic strokes.

That's when the yelling started.

"Vexen! Please! She's not even human!" Maleficent pleaded as the door to their cabin swung outward and banged into the outer wall. Roxas jolted awake in surprise and Axel kissed his chest and gently pulled away to sit up so he could see out the window. Maleficent was in her pajamas, a cotton one piece nightgown that fell to her ankles and a pair of slippers, with no makeup. Her hair was wrapped up high in her nighttime protective cloth and as soon as Roxas saw her he was immediately reminded of his grandmother, which was off-putting. Vexen was half dressed in his own pajamas as well, his button down shirt partly undone and his house coat billowing around him as he tromped through the snow angrily in his slippers, heading towards the third cabin which was the lab.

"How can you expect me to not be upset? If she dies, we can't feed our family anymore!" Vexen barked over his shoulder at his wife who was failing to keep up with him. Maleficent picked up the edge of her gown and chased after him. Roxas blinked a few times, letting the words soak into his foggy brain a bit. Axel furrowed his brows in immediate understanding.

"What's wrong?" Sora groaned sleepily as he pushed himself up in his own bed. Riku grunted a bit and rolled over and squinted ahead of himself.

"I think… something happened to Xion," the redhead said carefully.

"What? No… she's right over—" the brunette trailed as he looked to the empty bed across the room. "Or not," he amended. Riku sat up and rubbed his eyes. Sora blinked a bit as he took the Carrier in. "Hello no pants," he said tiredly and shuffled out of the bed and stood. Riku snorted a bit with a wry smile.

"Sorry," he grunted before it broke apart into a yawn. Sora shrugged his indifference to the situation and made his way to the bathroom. Roxas took the opportunity to pull his underwear back on. He nudged Axel and the redhead took the hint and reached over the side to pull up his shorts so he could get dressed as well. Riku deftly fumbled around for his own clothing and was covered by the time Sora remerged from the bathroom. They fumbled around together and got dressed, brushed their teeth and hair to appear a bit more presentable before they all filed outside and headed off towards the lab. Vexen was there with Maleficent the former of which seemed far more upset as he argued with Saïx. Roxas blinked a few times. He had never seen the Technician without his lab coat on before. The coat itself was draped over the back of his chair in front of the Catalogue terminal.

"There's nothing I can do, I don't know what else to tell you, Vexen. I wish I could help more but these sorts of situations are out of my hands," Saïx said calmly, his face bearing very little emotion. He was wearing his normal dress slacks and shiny shoes that Roxas has always seen him wear but with a short sleeved tight black shirt that really made him look overly muscular. The blonde wondered how often he worked out because he certainly looked like it took a lot of effort to get a body like that. Roxas took a second to observe how shrimpy his own arms looked in comparison and considered the prospect of finding a gym.

"Out of—that's ridiculous! There must be something you can do! This is all I've done for over three centuries. I don't have any other skills for this world to support my family with!" Vexen insisted, his brows high on his head above worried eyes.

"What do you suggest? Would you like to switch professions and become a Technician? I'm sure no one would object to your intellect," Saïx said.

"Is the pay better? There must be some compensation for all the traveling I would need to do. Fill the absence with money and I would consider it more," Vexen said, his voice calming considerably. Saïx laughed.

"Of course the pay is better. Why do you think I do what I do? You don't actually believe I _enjoy_ running around in the mud with these mongrels?" Saïx asked, motioning to the group that had just come in. Everyone sent him a glare. Vexen glanced to them all before giving the Technician a smug smirk. He turned to Maleficent.

"Do you have a preference?" he asked. She smiled, a full bodied smile that lit up her eyes.

"You must be joking. If it's a choice between you being tied that that nasty creature or you being tied to people who are considered some of the brilliant minds in the scientific world, which do you think I would prefer? We can handle the travel when we come to that. Aurora will adjust," she assured. Vexen smiled some and nodded.

"You don't have to choose right away, think on it, get ready for the day, and then we can talk seriously," Saïx said. Vexen looked to him again and nodded in recognition.

"We will. Thank you," he said. Saïx smiled and patted him on the shoulder. Vexen and Maleficent left together; considerably calmer than they had been a few moments before. The Technician turned to the rest of the group. "Have you all found something interesting to watch? Or is there something on my face?" he asked impatiently.

"You mean aside from that nasty growth that's looks suspiciously like a face but I can't quite tell?" Axel asked without missing a beat. Roxas elbowed him in the ribs. Sora stepped forward.

"What happened?" the brunette asked. "Something happened to Xion, didn't it?"

"She's dead," Saïx said bluntly. Sora's jaw dropped while everyone else simply stared at the Technician in mild disbelief.

"Wh-wha…how?" the brunette sputtered.

"Poachers. Are we finished? I have work to do," Saïx asked. Sora stuttered a few times, failing to say something coherent but Riku halted any more confused sounds by putting a hand on his shoulder. Sora looked to him briefly, just enough to see Riku's solemn face. Axel and Roxas exchanged a look before simultaneously deciding they couldn't do much else. They left quietly, pulling Sora along behind them reluctantly. Vexen was exiting their cabin with an armful of bedclothes and Xion's bag. His expression was blank and unreadable. Sora broke away from the other three to talk to him.

"Hey," the brunette barked as he approached. Vexen stopped and turned to him. "You just… you're just going to ignore it? She doesn't matter to you at _all_?"

"What would you like for me to do, Sora? Fall to the floor, sobbing like a child in a fit of anguish for a creature that I not only was disgusted by, but has cost me my livelihood because she couldn't survive two days out of her element? If I had known she was that useless I would've denied Saïx's proposal to come out here and she would've stayed safe in her facility bubble she had created for herself. She would be alive, and I wouldn't have to switch my entire life around because of her inadequacy. Again," Vexen said and continued walking. Sora caught up and stood in front of him.

"Can you at least look a _little_ like you just lost a member of your family? Or _something_?" the brunette squeaked.

"My family. You believe nx14 was a part of my family. That's a very cute guess but no, she was not a part of my family. I am, however, angry. Angry that my life has to change, angry that my legitimate family; my wife and daughter have to change their entire lifestyle now, and I'm angry that I can't even get any of whatever profit the poachers will get from nx14 because at the very least I'd have something to show for all of my efforts for the last three hundred years of my life. It was a waste. To have it end like this is a shame. But, we'll make it. We'll adjust. Life goes on."

"That's all you care about? Is the money? The change? What about h—"

"I'm finished, Sora. Maleficent and I are leaving before the day is over. I need to pack," Vexen interrupted and walked around him and headed into his cabin. Sora watched him go with his jaw dragging on the ground. Axel broke away from Riku and Roxas to catch him again.

"Wait, you're sure she's gone? Absolutely sure?" the redhead asked, placing a hand on the man's arm to hold him in place. Vexen nodded.

"Unless decapitation is only a symptom of a greater problem, I believe it's relatively final."

"Decap—" Axel trailed. Vexen jerked his arm out of the redhead's grasp and continued inside. The door clicked shut gently, leaving them all out in the cold with more questions then answers. Sora crossed his arms over his chest and hugged himself the more he thought about how heartless Vexen sounded. How empty and chilling his tone had become. He glanced to Riku and recalled how close he had come to falling into Vexen's mentality. It scared him. Imagining Riku decapitated and bleeding out by himself in the middle of nowhere scared him too.

They headed inside quietly, the air heavy with remorse for a companion they barely knew. Nobody cried, thought they all felt _someone_ should. Vexen and Maleficent clearly weren't going to. They felt guilty everyone of their own was safe. That Axel and Riku had gone out and come back to a mild level of security. That Roxas and Sora had suffered through the storm and blackout together but weren't any worse for wear. The communal grief for losing one of their own, regardless of how long they knew the other, was great. They didn't have any memories to fall back on and say 'Oh that Xion, she was such a kidder. She did so many things like so on and so forth.' They had nothing positive to think about because her life, what little they saw of it, was absolutely pathetic. She herself wasn't a bad person and would've probably become a decent friend in the long run, but her circumstances compounded with her death weighed on everyone heavily.

For Sora though, things were a little different. Sure, he didn't know Xion any better than anyone else did, but he had talked to her the most. Xion was quiet for the most of his stories and socializing but her kind demeanor reminded him so much of Kairi that he often had to separate the two again before he blurted out the wrong name. Their time together was brief, and Sora could admit to himself even half of his thinking during that time was mostly of Kairi, but now that it was brought to an abrupt halt, the logic did strange things to him. He was sad for Xion because she didn't deserve to die the way she did. But the selfish part of him was also sad that he couldn't have a friend that reminded him so much of Kairi, regardless of what their relationship would've been or stayed at. Being denied that friendship severed something in Sora's mentality that he couldn't all the way explain. Everything was coming full circle for him.

Death, was final. Leaving, is not. But somewhere in the back of his mind, something clicked for him and he started to equate the two. Whether Xion died or he left Kairi, either way, he couldn't see them anymore. It was much easier to think that it was all finite and didn't have the possibility of reverting back to the way it all was instead of dwelling on the 'ifs' and 'could have beens.' The more he thought about it, the more he concluded he didn't want to live in the past. He needed to let go like Roxas had and move forward with the present into the future because that's the way things were headed whether he wanted them to or not. He still didn't feel he had properly fixed things yet though.

"Um…" Sora trailed nervously when everyone came inside. He licked his lips a bit and chewed on his tongue, turning to Axel and Roxas. "Could you guys give us like… an hour? Do you have somewhere to go?" he asked quietly. Axel raised a brow and looked to Roxas. The blonde shrugged.

"Why Roxas, I do believe your brother just gave me permission to go back and pester Saïx for the next sixty minutes," the redhead said. Roxas pushed his brows together.

"What? No he didn't—"

"Too late!" Axel barked and grabbed Roxas' hand and yanked him back outside. The blonde let out a strangled yell as he was carted away, the redhead giving Sora a thumbs up as he passed by the window. Riku looked to his Charge worriedly. The brunette looked over Xion's empty (now bare of blankets) bed for a moment before turning to Riku.

"Are you alright?" the Carrier asked kindly. Sora shook his head as his eyes started to water.

"I didn't want Roxas to see me cry. Again. It's nothing new, I don't know why it bothers me now," the brunette sniffled, wiping at his eyes before anything could escape. Riku, not sure of what was okay or not, patted the chocolate spikes gently in an attempt to calm his Charge as the quiet mourning became more open. Before long Sora was openly sobbing and holding his face in his hands. He abruptly threw himself at Riku's chest and clung to his shirt as his tears soaked through the fabric. Riku didn't hesitate to wrap him tightly in his arms and hold him for as long as Sora needed to be.

"I didn't realize you two had grown so close," the Carrier said with an uneasy tone. Sora hiccupped and shook his head some. He took a moment to halt his cries enough to sniffle and pull back so he could speak.

"I'm upset she's gone but that's not what I'm crying about. I feel awful for everything I put you through—"

"Sora, you don't need to apologize. It's alright. I understand—"

"No! Stop. Just let me talk."

"Alright," Riku amended. He placed a hand on the brunette's shoulder and guided him over to the bed where he sat on the edge. Sora sat with him and sniffled loudly and wiped at his face some more. Riku waited patiently for the brunette to compose himself. The Charge took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, for everything; for blaming you, for thinking things about you that were completely untrue, for believing everyone but myself. You may think you did something wrong, and I understand that it may not have the _best_ idea to bring me over early, but I know you didn't do it with yourself in mind. You're not selfish. Vexen is selfish. Maleficent is a bitch and I'm pretty sure she's pretty selfish too. Poachers, are selfish. Thinking about people like that and comparing them to myself and realizing how close I was coming to dropping into their way of thinking, scares me shitless. I don't ever want that to happen again.

I realized that I could never distance myself from Carriers like those kinds of people do. I don't even think I could become a Technician even if I was smart enough. Carriers are too selfless and too gentle for me to stay away. You guys get the raw end of every deal every time you do something yet you still continue to do your work that benefits _everyone_ in the long run, not just yourselves. How anyone could fault you all for something like that confuses me. I could probably never find anywhere else in this world or in mine where the people are genuinely selfless in their work and still wake up in the morning ready for more. I think that's really special. The fact that you're still willing to let me be part of it is even more so."

"Of course you're welcome to stay. I never wanted to push you away or make you leave to begin with. Even if you don't feel I did anything wrong, I still feel it's mostly my fault."

"I thought you'd say something like that. Can we agree to disagree on whose fault it is and just… be okay?" Sora asked. Riku smiled.

"I would like that very much."

"Okay good," the brunette agreed and let out a long sigh. He fiddled with his fingers idly as a growing silence came over them both. Riku still wasn't sure how much Sora was comfortable in the ways of physical touching though he was more confused because Sora didn't seem to mind his nudity less than two hours ago. The sudden shift in mood was tense. "I guess… it'd be a little weird to just, forget it all happened. Because, as much as I'd like to say I was joking and we can just continue on like normal, I can't because I'd be lying."

"I see. What would you like to change?"

"I need to get out more, is the biggest issue. I think sitting around and stewing all day got to me way too much. Other than that, I don't really know. Would… would you go out with me if I decided to?"

"As much as I'm legally able to, I would. If you wanted to stay out late though, I wouldn't be able to stay out past curfew, which means I would have to leave much earlier than that in order to get back to the facility. So long as you can handle that, I don't see a problem," Riku said. Sora nodded a bit and picked at his nails again. "You're not giving me the impression that that's all that's bothering you, though."

"I feel bad. But I'm going to try and fix it."

"Well that's good, I suppose but what do you feel bad about?"

"If I tell you what it is, it'll seem like I'm feeling obligated to do it, which I'm not because I really want to, but I don't know what my problem is," the brunette said and shifted in his seat nervously. He cast uneasy eyes to Riku for a brief second, the Carrier furrowing his brows together confusedly.

"There's nothing I can do to help?" Riku asked. Sora shook his head.

"Not right this second. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I'm sad because of Xion, but I'm happy you and I are okay, but then I'm confused because I still don't fully know what to do with myself or what to do with my last problem. I sort of just want to crawl under a rock and sleep for a few days," the brunette sighed. Riku chuckled and patted his hair.

"There is a bed, and you're welcome to go back to sleep in it. I can guarantee you it's more comfortable than a rock."

"Will you stay with me?" Sora asked quietly. Riku smiled.

"I can do that."

* * *

"Ah, young love. They grow up so fast, don't they?" Axel sighed and draped himself over a chair.

"I was under the impression that 6x2u is almost a century older than you are," Saïx snorted and pushed the redhead's face off of his shoulder. Axel had taken the liberty of draping himself over _his_ chair, more specifically. Roxas milled around on the sidelines, attempting not to think about Xion's situation. He genuinely felt bad for her, but he was more scared that Axel was just as open to attack from the poachers as she was. It made going to his natural habitat even more foreboding than it was previously.

"You bring up a good point, but they both are rather new at this. At least Roxas and I are a year ahead of them on the relationship front. So yes, it's young love. Still," the redhead corrected.

"And that's just _wonderful_ , why are you in here again?" Saïx spat.

"Because Riku and Sora should be fucking like bunnies by this point and they need privacy, that's why. As loyal friends it is our duty to give them that opportunity."

"That still doesn't explain why you need to be _here_. While I'm _working_."

"It's because my love for you is spilling over the font, dear Saïx. I needed to vent some of it off on your personal space so I can return to my virtuous relationship with Roxas with a lighter conscience," Axel said and moved to the Technician's side and batted his eyelashes. Saïx scoffed and rolled his eyes in annoyance. The redhead was a little confused. The Technician wasn't reacting as well as he had hoped.

"My personal space has been violated enough for one day, 4x31."

"Oh I beg to differ."

"Back away from me."

"But Sa- _aaaaiiiix_ ," Axel crooned and picked up the man's hand and petted it gently, giving him wide pouty eyes. He glanced down at the hand in his and froze. Saïx still wasn't wearing his lab coat so his arms were still plainly visible. Axel stood straight, pulling the limb up with him and studying the hairs on Saïx's arm carefully. "Do you dye your arm hair?" he asked confusedly. Saïx jerked his hand away.

"Leave," the Technician barked.

"No, seriously. It's fucking _blue_ , like your _hair_ -hair. Why?" Axel insisted and made to pick up the arm and studying it again. Saïx avoided his grasp and stood abruptly from his chair. He pointed for the door.

"Out," he ordered. Axel furrowed his brows together.

"Fuck you I can be in here if I want. Answer me."

"Out!"

"Axel," Roxas warned, the growing electricity between the two almost visible in the open air.

"No, I want to know!" the redhead insisted.

"Why does it matter? I still have rank over you, I can do with myself as I see fit," Saïx spat.

"Because, if you're a Carrier, then I have even more reason to dislike you. I need to know where my chips lay," Axel said. Roxas looked Saïx over with serious scrutiny. An ominous calm came over the Technician as he and Axel held a tense staring contest. He folded his arms over his chest indignantly. "It would make sense though. That disgusting cologne you're always wearing covers up the scent, the coat covers up most of your body, and the strength isn't even human. I never actually gave a damn to pay attention before but now I feel like an idiot for not noticing it sooner," the redhead continued.

"What difference does it make?" Saïx asked.

"Are you really as old as everyone says you are?" Axel asked.

"What difference does it make?" Saïx repeated.

"Well if you are, then you're a whole different breed of Carrier than I am. If you're one of the firsts of the modern Carriers you're either really lucky to be this stable or I haven't paid attention to my history enough. Because from what I remember, the first Carriers were feral. It wasn't until three hundred years _after_ the projects started that they became stable and were able to live as long as they do now."

"What difference does it make?" the Technician repeated again, his patience waning.

"It makes a lot of difference. Because now, I can do this," Axel said with a brief smile. Saïx scrunched his brows together.

"Do what?" he asked a split second before his nose was suddenly crushed in by the redhead's fist. He let out a pained scream as his hands flew up to his face to stop the sudden rush of blood. Roxas gasped and ran to Axel, wrapping his arms around the Carrier's chest to keep him in place as the rage set in behind his chartreuse eyes. The redhead gently peeled the blonde's arms away from himself before stalking towards Saïx again. Roxas grabbed Axel's shirt and tried to pull him back, but he was easily ignored and dragged along the tile. The redhead grabbed the Technician's neck and pulled their faces close.

"All those years. All those _fucking_ years of you stepping on me like I was below you. Beating me until I could barely breathe and forcing me to beg for your forgiveness because you told me I was disgusting. An anomaly. Something to hate," Axel sneered and shook the man harshly, causing Saïx's hands to fall away from his face and allow the blood to trickle out of his nose. "Everyone. _Everyone_ ," he bellowed with another shake, "I knew I hated you because of your awful superiority complex. You and Xemnas, all the time. Together. Walking on anyone you damn well pleased. I bet he was your Charge then, wasn't he? Which makes you even more of hypocrite," Axel fumed and shoved his arm forward, releasing the Technician in a violent push. Saïx flopped onto his back with the force and coughed the oxygen back into his lungs.

"Axel, please," Roxas pleaded and attempted to hold onto the redhead around his chest again. But again, he was pushed away easily enough as Axel moved forward, the seething heat under his skin starting to burn away his humility. Axel was on top of Saïx in an instant, pinning him to the ground. His hands pulled at the Technician's clothes, ripping the fabric easily.

"Where is it?" the redhead screeched as he tore at Saïx's shirt. It was quickly tossed aside in a tattered mess as Axel shoved the Technician around in his search. Nothing was on his torso but a few light scars so the next order of business was the pants. The belt was the hardest part of ripping them away but it snapped under Axel's strength. Roxas dashed forward again and tried to grab the redhead's arms to stop his assault but Axel gave him a firm push that sent him reeling backwards several feet. Saïx struggled to get away from the redhead but there was nothing in arm's reach that he could grab onto for leverage. He was disrobed several seconds later in a fit of tearing.

"Axel stop!" Roxas yelled. Axel ignored him of course and unceremoniously spread Saïx's legs apart and stuffed his hands in between them to check his model number. A black **_7_** was printed into the Technician's skin under his scrotum and that was enough for Axel. Having failed to find Saïx's Signet anywhere on his body, his mind turned to a new tactic and he looked back towards the Catalogue terminal where the Technician's tablet lay. He bolted upright and strode the few steps over to the device and jabbed at it with his finger. Saïx made no move to stop him, and slowly pulled himself into a sitting position and wiped at his nose.

"So this is what you wanted? You're going to force me to change for what purpose? To satisfy some deep seated rage? What would it accomplish, 4x31? What will the difference be?" the Technician sneered between bloody teeth. Axel ignored him though and flipped through the applications on the tablet with ease. He typed in the tiny model number and hit accept, giving Saïx harsh and unfeeling eyes as he waited to see what kind of Carrier the scourge of his life could possibly be.


	85. Chapter 85

**Chapter 85**

When he was three, Axel, though fully grown physically, wasn't experienced enough to understand the complications of Carrier life yet. He had his own personal battles, naïve and trifling instances with his psyche, but nothing that could be deemed detrimental or obscene. Issues with vanity and wanting what his friends had were a constant but he looked past their advances and relied on them heavily for guidance. He spent a lot of his non-studying time thinking about the complexities of life and wondering if he was good enough to make a difference. In the end, it didn't matter if he was or wasn't, he still had a job to do. A role to fill.

For many years, he and Demyx were almost inseparable. They spent as much time together as they possibly could, and when they were busy in their labs, often kept a line of communication open on the Catalogue terminals simply for the companionship. Demyx had Zexion of course, and the Charge didn't mind Axel's company and often taught him new things and told him stories to broaden his horizons a bit. He and Axel's relationship was almost that of a mentor-student one and not nearly as personal as Demyx as Axel's was. The best of buddies. Through thick and thin. As close and as brotherly as they could be without being genetically related.

The problems came when Axel couldn't be with Demyx. He never faulted his friend for having personal time with Zexion. He made a specific effort to keep any sort of guilt away from their relationship, and he liked to think the sandy blonde was none the wiser. It wasn't like Axel was secretly lusting after Demyx and was jealous of the bond he and Zexion had but he didn't like being by himself. It got lonely. Even after he chose Roxas, the waiting game he played for decades after took their toll even though he grew as a person and matured considerably during that time.

He clung to whatever contact he could keep with his friends. They became a valuable source of companionship for him and they were never more than a few steps down the hall most of the time. That was, until duty called. Everyone visited their Totem's ecosystems at least a few times in their lives and it was during Demyx's first stay in the replicated African plains where the outside sources began to do their damage. Lab inspections were routine. Axel had done them time after time before and never had any incident. Then again, he had never done one with a Technician outside of Ansem's influence before.

"Axel, you should see it. It's so sunny and warm all the time and there's so much _space_ to run and just… do stuff," Demyx twittered happily through the Catalogue terminal. It was the early morning before Axel's inspection and he was catching up with the sandy blonde before he had to get to work. Demyx has been gone for two days already.

"Is it? Leon never tells me anything when he and Cloud come back from their visits," the colorless loner said wistfully. Demyx giggled and waved a dismissive hand.

"That's because he's old and boring. But he's actually assigned to a different dome. Ours don't cross though I can imagine they aren't all that different."

"It's sort of hard to screw up open grassland, dirt, rocks, and four trees," Axel snorted.

"That's true. Though I've counted more than four trees. It's more like six."

"Oh that's a _vast_ improvement."

"It is!" Demyx agreed with a wide grin. Axel attempted to laugh a bit but his longing to see his own home was beginning to overwhelm him. He knew he wouldn't be able to see it without a Charge but the idea sounded nice. Trees, lots and lots of trees. "But you know what the best part is?"

"No, what's that?" Axel asked. Demyx looked around his immediate area before leaning into the screen sneakily and cupping a hand over his mouth like he was about to spill an enormous secret.

"Seeing Zexion in shorts," the sandy blonde whispered. "He's got such scrawny white legs, I've never noticed before! I blame the lighting back home, it's not the best. The sun isn't doing anything for him though. You'd think it'd help."

"I heard that," Zexion chimed from off screen. Axel snorted and started to laugh.

"That's not something you should probably voice, Demyx. You might upset hi—"

"4x31!" a booming unfamiliar voice sounded as the doors to his lab burst open. Axel was cut off in his surprise and his attention whipped to the disturbance. A Technician he had only seen once or twice before bounded into the room angrily, his golden eyes ablaze with his fiery impatience. Axel stared at him, mouth agape. He could hardly remember a name. He didn't know what the problem was or what warranted such a reaction. The Technician wasted no time in approaching him, a metal rod in one hand. The colorless loner was thoroughly confused.

"Is there a probl—" Axel attempted before the man's hand grabbed his throat and pulled their faces close. His airway was cut off abruptly and the rest of his sentence was choked behind an airless squeak, the only thing in his line of vision being an enormous X shaped scar flanked by heinous eyes. His first instinct was to fight the man off but he was painfully aware of his Technician status so he held himself at bay. Demyx watched the scene unfold with wide frightened eyes. He knew exactly who Axel was talking to.

"You did not report when I called you the first three times! Do you think I have the time to idly stand around in the hall while you whittle your morning away _socializing_? Useless!" the man bellowed and thrust his hand forwards, shoving Axel out of his chair and onto the floor. Air came rushing back into his chest in great heaves as he coughed and rasped against his abused windpipe.

"I didn't hear…" he coughed. "I didn't hear you."

"How could you not? I was out there for ten minutes! Were you unaware you had an inspection today? Do you really expect me to believe you were that ill informed?" the Technician persisted.

"No! I just…"

"You just what? Decided to ignore me?"

"No! I didn't—"

"I see. This is just a game to you. That everyone is here for your amusement. Of course, _everyone_ has the time to sit around uselessly and chit chat! Why shouldn't you? Right?"

"What? A game? I don't—" Axel attempted as he pushed himself up to a sitting position.

"I'll attribute you're stupidity to your age, 4x31. But I won't tolerate insubordination," the Technician sneered.

"Insubordination? What did I do?"

"Be quiet!" the man bellowed and raised the metal rod over his shoulder. Electricity crackled through the beam a split second before he brought the weapon down across Axel's face. The Carrier let out a scream as his body was flushed with unwarranted currents. His muscles spasmed and he flopped onto his side limply. Demyx gasped with wide horrified eyes.

"Axel!" he cried in his distress. He looked between Axel and the Technician quickly. "Saïx, stop! He didn't do anything wrong! I was the one who called!"

"Be quiet, creature! Just because I cannot reach you doesn't mean you have the right to speak out of turn! 4x31 is just as guilty for his insolence as you are and I shall document and deal with this later, I assure you," Saïx barked. He reached over to the Link cable that trailed from Axel's mouth to the Catalogue and gave it a firm yank. It snapped easily, sending a shock of searing pain through Axel's tooth and down his spine causing his heart rate to sky rocket and thrum against his sternum. The call to Demyx was ended immediately as the break was made, and Axel lay on the floor clutching his chest as a pained howl escaped his throat.

Saïx's fury wasn't so easily sated and he rolled Axel onto his back with his foot. He loomed over the ailing Carrier, sneering down in his disgust as the colorless loner fought to catch his breath. Every molecule of oxygen was precious, but he only realized this when the Technician continued his assault. Over and over again the metal rod was swung, bludgeoning Axel's torso, each time a shock of harmful electricity coursed through him. After the first few blows, he couldn't think clearly. For every one after that, he couldn't bring himself to move. He was reduced to a huddled heap on the ground within just a few minutes, his consciousness fading in and out as he tried to force his eyes to stay open.

Once satisfied, Saïx left quietly. No explanation, no lasting threat, and left no clue as to why he did what he did or what Axel did to deserve such abuse. Consequently, the colorless loner had failed his inspection. The Carrier lay limp on the floor by himself for several minutes, forcing the air back into his lungs weakly. His body shuddered several times with the pain that racked his muscles but it wasn't until he tried to move and take a deep breath that he brought any attention to himself. He clutched his torso as a scream ripped out of his vocal chords, thundering down the hall in an obnoxious echo. That's how Leon and Cloud found him.

Axel didn't see Saïx for almost ten years after that. The frequency of their visits was minimal and usually warranted by an inspection rather than something specific to Axel himself. Each time, Saïx hardly seemed to remember him but abused him just as much. To the Technician, Axel was just one of many insufferable lives he had been forced to work with. One of the many beatings he had to give, one of the many faces he'd rather forget. It wasn't until Axel chose (or rather, Demyx did) his colors that Saïx even bothered to remember him and by that point, the redhead had built up enough bravado to not appear vulnerable. Saïx, though violent, wasn't stupid. His show of power was for those who showed weakness, their uselessness. Those who intentionally tried to rile him rarely received anything else outside of angry looks and yelling because he refused to fall for their games.

* * *

In the present day, Axel was much wiser. He hated Saïx for everything he had done and for everything he stood for. The recent discovery of Saïx's status as a Carrier compounded the situation for him. The man was a hypocrite. Through and through. It was obvious. Whether it's the Technician's disgust for Carriers or homosexuals (that's assuming he and Xemnas were together), it didn't matter, all of it only added to the contempt the redhead held for him. The years he spent under Saïx's boot were made even more angering. To think that he could've fought back at any time and not have received punishment for it tore him apart. He could've defended himself, his friends, and most of all, he could've defended Demyx. The lashings and the torture his sandy friend had gone through under Saïx's hand was what boiled Axel's blood the most.

Seeing Saïx thrash around on the floor as his body was forced to shift gave him little satisfaction. He was far too angry to feel much else. The Technician's skin sloughed off his body in greater succession as the seconds passed, his limbs turning inward as his spine elongated and pushed through. The pelt underneath, wasn't actually a pelt. It was another skin, made of glittering olive and caramel scales splattered in an elaborate pattern. His eyes shrunk and his nose pushed in while his ears disappeared and became smooth. Saïx's body took shape, stretching out far more than Axel had anticipated. He jumped away as the Technician's tail coiled out several feet, pushing his length into the double digits. Roxas paled immediately once the comprehension sunk in and he quickly made for a table. He climbed onto the surface and sat shakily, his eyes glued to the floor. Axel immediately became worried and took a quick leap over Saïx to reach him.

The process lasted maybe three minutes. In that time, Saix's limbs had disappeared, his face had completely reconstructed itself, and his body had been stretched to nearly twenty feet. He was an original Carrier, or course. Like Axel, he was the embodiment of all of his species. The prime example of what all self respecting snakes should aspire to be regardless of size. But the scariest part was that unlike Axel, there were two different kinds of snakes. Venomous, and nonvenomous. It was obvious that Saïx was big enough to constrict but whether or not he carried venom at the same time was what made the situation much more dangerous.

Axel's mind reeled. He felt he had made a horrible mistake. He had put Roxas in extreme danger because he hadn't anticipated Saïx to be what he was. He had been hoping for something small like a field mouse since he was so old. Apparently when Ansem had created the first Carriers, he didn't beat around the bush and skipped right to the main players. The concept baffled the redhead because all other scientific practices in the world started with mice and worked their ways up the ranks. But in his frantic thinking, his brain remembered an important detail.

Saïx writhed around and flipped himself over onto his stomach where he was suddenly much more mobile. He pooled his body around himself and reared up to give them both a ferocious spitting hiss. His teeth were enormous and unfolded from his top palette, threatening to bite at any second. Axel didn't hesitate and grabbed Roxas. He hefted the shaken blonde up over his shoulders to create as much of a gap between him and Saïx as possible. He made for the exit quickly. Saïx snapped forward, barely missing the redhead's calf as Axel bounded away, bursting through the doors out into the snow. He quickly lowered Roxas into his arms more comfortably as he galloped several yards away from the lab. He stopped when he felt they were far enough away and clutched the blonde to his chest, panting as the rest of his adrenaline ran its course.

"Are you _fucking insane?_ " Roxas yelled and smacked the redhead's chest. Axel winced.

"I know I know, sorry. He won't come out here. Too cold," the redhead sputtered. He hugged the blonde to himself protectively. "Bad idea, I'm sorry." He heaved a heavy sigh. "Are you okay?"

"No! I'm not _okay_. What part of any of that do you think would be _okay_ , Axel? The part where you punched him, ripped off his clothes, fondled him, or forced him to change? Because I'm really trying to figure out which one you thought was such a great idea!" the blonde bellowed angrily.

"He's a Carrier, it's only illegal to kill us. Nothing I did was illegal."

"A Carrier who has the title of _Technician_. Don't you think that'd matter? He could still get Ansem on our asses for all the shit you just pulled!"

"It still doesn't change what he was originally created as, Roxas. I honestly don't think calling him a Technician will change much. I can't say everyone will be particularly thrilled over it all but the fact remains that he isn't human. He doesn't have full rights under the law just because he has a different job," Axel defended. Roxas, face hard with stress, rubbed his brows with a tired sigh.

"Fine, fuck it. Whatever. Way too much just happened for me to get angry. I just…" he sighed again. "Are you okay? He came after you, right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Axel said and pushed a leg behind himself and looked over his shoulder to check his calf.

"Good. But he's right, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"What difference does knowing all this make? It's not illegal to be a Carrier and if we had never figured it out, why would it matter?"

"It probably only matters to me. Because now I don't have to hold back and I can defend myself without worrying about punishment."

"See, but he's still a Technician. I find it hard to believe they wouldn't punish you for hurting one of their own."

"Well, maybe since we know his secret he'll back off. He jumped through hoops to hide himself, maybe he's ashamed of it. He sure acts like he is. He beat everyone else up just because he could. It probably gave him some weird sense of dominance over them all. Like he was different somehow," Axel said. Roxas shrugged.

"I don't know, and I don't care honestly. All I know is, not much got accomplished by assaulting him and I really don't think it matters what he is."

"I plan on talking to Ansem about this though. And anyone else who will listen. So we'll see."

"Ansem first, then see what you should and shouldn't do. Please just…" Roxas trailed as his jumbled thoughts swirled around and failed his sentence structure. He let out a heavy sigh and raked his fingers through Axel's hair a few times. "Just leave him alone for now. I really don't want you to get into anymore trouble until we know what we're up against. I understand you guys have a history, and it probably sucks, but it would be different if you had made the discovery by yourself because I wouldn't be caught in it and you could do what you want. So, for my sake, can we tune down on the Saïx abuse? At least until we know our limits?" he asked. Axel scowled a bit. He let out a tiny sigh through his nose.

"'Kay fine," he huffed. Roxas smiled a bit and kissed his nose.

"Thank you."

* * *

They were attempting to be as inconspicuous as they could but after being alive for so long, everyone knew Leon and Cloud's absences were usually emergency themed, or extremely personal. Personal to the effect of 'Leon hasn't been able to touch Cloud in a week so now he has to take him home and do things to him.' It was times like those Leon vaguely wished they didn't have a home outside of the facility because the walk was simply excruciating. They kept it casual though. They hardly ever held hands in the first place and they weren't even giving each other that much now. A leisurely stroll down the street was the outward appearance and the only telling tale of their purpose was the time of day they were heading home at. The work day was far from over. They probably wouldn't return before tomorrow either.

Back at the facility though, things weren't so rosy. Leon and Cloud had done the daily checkup at Axel and Roxas' lab (mostly to see if Ventus was behaving himself) before they left while it was Demyx and Zexion's responsibility to make sure everything was okay at Riku and Sora's. All was not well. Another one of their Carriers had passed away the night before and the watchful pair were at a crossroads. They would file a report like they were supposed to but they didn't know if they should handle the disposal as well. They felt they shouldn't leave the infant floating in the gestational chamber, but in the long run, it didn't really matter. It wouldn't rot until it was brought out into the open air, but they were unsure if Riku and Sora wanted to be there for it or not.

"Zex…" Demyx whined sadly as he watched the infant float motionless in the chamber. It looked like all the rest, like it was sleeping, only it didn't twitch randomly like babies tend to do. Zexion rubbed the sandy blonde's back a bit with the intent of comfort.

"You don't need to get yourself upset over it. It's not the greatest situation but it isn't ours to shed tears for," the Charge said carefully, watching as Demyx' face grew darker and more distressed. Zexion knew his attempt at logic was a long shot in terms of helping the Carrier feel better. Demyx swallowed thickly and took a brief glance at Zexion as his eyes started to water. His gaze diverted to the floor as he shuffled his feet sheepishly, trying to force himself to stop. It didn't work, and the tears dripped free, completely bypassing the rest of his face to patter onto the floor. Zexion heaved a shallow sigh before taking the Carrier's arm and pulling him around for a hug.

Demyx might have been acting overly sensitive for a child that wasn't his, but death was never a fun thing for him to imagine. Other people's deaths always reminded him of his and Zexion's losses in the past and it was easy for him to dredge up old heartaches without meaning to. He wasn't openly sobbing, but a mournful sulk with tears dripping off his nose onto Zexion's shirt. Just a few minutes of security was all he needed before they pulled apart for a more business-like approach. The sandy blonde heaved a sniffle, wiped his face, and attempted to dry off Zexion's shirt but failed miserably. He turned to the gestational tank again.

"Okay. We should call them," he said finitely before sniffling again. Zexion nodded before heading over to the Catalogue terminal. Riku had left them the ecosystem dome number, which was fine, but when Zexion went to find which terminal to call he stopped. There were _hundreds_ of different stations to call and no real way to tell which was where. Riku hadn't left the terminal number with them.

"Well damn," Zexion sighed. Unless they wanted to spend hours of prank calling people, they were out of luck. Neither of them were willing to put that sort of time in for a nonemergency. Nothing would change if the dead Carrier stayed in the gestational tank for another two weeks. Maybe sooner if Riku decided to call them first. Demyx sighed sadly.

"If we're not going to deal with it today, I don't want to stay here any longer than we need to," the sandy blonde said. Zexion nodded his agreement before exiting out of the Catalogue. They left together quietly, hand in hand, hoping to mend some minor wounds before they had to really deal with the situation.

* * *

Sora and Riku were sleeping, which was completely boring in Axel's mind but for Roxas, was just fine. The blonde really didn't feel the need to see his brother in any sort of private situation, clothed or otherwise. After traipsing around for a few minutes outside, Roxas had grown exceptionally cold and wondered if it was safe to go inside yet. It was, and they tiptoed into the cabin as quietly as they could. The blonde dumped his excess layers in a disorganized pile on the floor before diving under the covers of their bed. Axel, on the other hand, had a plan. He fished around in one of Roxas' bags, pulling out their camera and waved it at Roxas before sneaking back outside. The blonde pushed his brows together confusedly before settling in and waiting.

Axel quickly made his way back to the lab. He was hoping Saïx hadn't changed back yet and gently pushed the door open just enough to see inside. The Technician had coiled himself into a pile in the far corner of the lab in front of the heating vent. He was facing away from the door, which was just fine by Axel as he inched the door open enough to stick his arm in with the camera. Zooming in as much as he could, he snapped a quick picture, the flash immediately alerting Saïx. The Technician whipped his head around to face the door but by the time he realized what had happened, Axel was gone.

"What'd you do?" Roxas whispered when Axel came back in. The redhead clicked a few buttons on the camera and showed the blonde the picture. Roxas made a face of realization before nodding and handing it back. The redhead tossed the device back into Roxas' bag before climbing in the bed with him. The blonde smiled a bit. "We need to get a few pictures in the snow before we leave."

"Sounds good," Axel agreed and curled his arms under his pillow and pulled it to his face. Roxas lay with him and scooted close. He rested his cheek against the redhead's bicep and draped an arm over his shoulders. "I sort of wish we would've remembered the camera sooner. We could've gotten pictures with Xion," Axel whispered after a few moments of silence. Roxas nodded a bit, heaving a tiny sad sigh.

"It scares me to think you could've been caught up in that. You two couldn't have been _that_ far apart from each other."

"Don't worry about things that didn't happen. Personally, I didn't hear anything strange while I was out so it must have been way after I left to come back here. I didn't see any cars either."

"Well, I want you to be extra careful when we get to your dome."

"I will. Don't worry."

* * *

What Axel didn't know, was how close he had been. Had he stayed out only a few hours longer, he would've seen everything. Perhaps even found the perpetrators and stopped Xion's murder.

The storm had descended from the mountainside but by the time it reached the forest, it was much less severe than what Riku had experienced. What was once a whirling blizzard was now simply a heavy snowfall. The flakes drifted harmlessly through the early morning air, though their numbers were great. The sun hadn't come up yet. The tree line was slowly being covered in a layer of freezing fluff and Xion had been grazing along the outskirts of the herd peacefully. Everything was deathly quiet, eerily so. She could feel the aching in her muscles and the need to change back into her Implant for several hours but she was purposefully ignoring it for the sake of a few more seconds with her kin.

She longed to stay with them in their care-free society where the most difficult decision was deciding what kinds of grass to chew on. The lack of predators made things easy and they could live out their days without a disturbance. Xion was envious of them. Human relations were difficult, especially when they turned painful. The ups and downs of everyday life left her in a constant state of yearning. The desire to go off and start again, with a Charge that loved her and could say something nice to her every now and again, was immense. She couldn't, of course, but if she couldn't do that much, she wanted to stay in the ecosystem dome, away from it all.

Her siblings treated her strangely. She didn't have a close-knit group of family members like Leon had with his sisters, and because of that, she often felt alienated from most of the Carrier side of life as well. Her siblings felt she should've tossed Vexen to the wayside the moment he had shown any sort of disinterest. That she was only asking for trouble when she kept him and she had no one to blame but herself. Either she didn't do her job properly or she was simply that weak, they couldn't decide. But they didn't understand. How could they? They all had Charges that cared deeply for them by the time she had Vexen. She was the youngest, after all. Possibly the most naïve, and that was her problem.

She had contemplated suicide on many occasions. It wasn't an alien concept. After Vexen married Maleficent, her life was pretty much over. He stopped coming to the facility, he stopped visiting her, and he stopped giving regular samples. He would show up a few times a month to do her exams, but otherwise, she hardly saw him. Sometimes, he brought his daughter to the facility during those times. Xion liked Aurora and the child liked her back. It was one of the few things in the Carrier's life she could hold onto just enough to say 'I can't die today, Aurora might visit.' The girl was hardly three when she started visiting and by the time she was five, already knew what Xion was and what the program was like. Yet, she didn't stray away, and that's what was special.

Xion reflected on all of her fond memories. They were few and some of them a bit blurry due to the huge gaps in time between them, but they were there. The times when Vexen was civil, almost friendly, the times her siblings took care of her and taught her how to do things, the times with Aurora, and the births of her natural offspring. Even all of that couldn't compare to the peacefulness she felt out in nature with her kin. It was heaven. Unfortunately, it didn't last.

She was in the middle of a day dream, idly chewing on a lump of moss when the herd started to move in the opposite direction and run past her. Her attention was snapped back into reality when one of the other bharals accidentally kicked her in their hurried attempts to flee. She looked around worriedly for the source of the scare when she saw them. Between the huge snowflakes, far off in the distance, was a series of vehicles with lights twinkling through the darkness. Covered trucks with enormous wheels cruised through the uneven terrain with ease as they barreled over baby trees and roots. There were three of them. Xion knew exactly what they were as soon as she could see them.

She took off running with her kin as quickly as she could, galloping over the rocks and groundcover without much faltering. Her entire body screamed and her vision started to blur as the need to change back to her Implant form pushed through her fear. The pain rocketed down her spine, turning her legs to jelly. She tripped and flipped around, landing harshly on her side. The panic kept her semi-conscious as her survival instincts fought with her change code for control of her body.

Reluctantly, she gave in. Her Implant took over and she was soon left completely exposed to the elements, lying naked against a root and panting heavily as she waited for the pain to subside. She looked behind herself and saw the trucks growing closer by the second and her fear renewed itself. She pushed herself up and wobbled on weak legs for a few seconds before she took off running again. Her speed, though faster than a normal human's, was not what it would've been had she stayed in her Primal form. She fumbled over the roots and scraped against the plants as she clumsily tried to get away.

After the pain dissipated some, she was able to pick up a steady pace. The trucks were much closer and she could feel the lights wash over her skin and see her shadow stretch out in front of herself. Adrenaline pulsed through her veins and she bounded over the terrain with sudden ease. But she was no match for the vehicles. They came closer and closer and soon enough, she could hear laughter echoing through the open windows.

They had guns. She knew, from stories, that they did, but that fact solidified itself when a loud bang echoed through the area and suddenly one of the trees in front of her was missing a large scrape. The noise surprised her and she let out a scream. Their laughter trickled through her ears in response. They were extremely close now, right behind her. Two of the trucks passed the one that was chasing her and zoomed ahead to catch up with the herd. The last one, however, kept on Xion's tail, taunting her and holding her fate in her face. She had to think fast.

She took a chance and dove off to the side, out of their path, and behind a large tree. Part of it had rotted out at the bottom and it was just enough space for her to push herself into. She huddled under the crumbling wood, quaking in fear. The people in the truck hadn't anticipated her move and skidded to a halt, missing her hiding spot by several feet. While they were distracted she quickly shuffled around and stuffed her hands into the leaf litter under her spot and started to dig herself deeper into her hiding place. Truck doors open and closed as the passengers exited and crunched through the underbrush. She pushed the pile of rubbish into the hole, blocking her from view just a bit more. Footsteps approached.

"Smells like fear," a very familiar voice said after a deep inhale, just outside her hiding place. The man's scent wafted through the air and pushed through the tiny gap under the tree. She froze, eyes wide.

"Did you find her?" an unfamiliar voice said, joining the other. The first laughed.

"Of course I did; have a little faith. She wouldn't get away that easily," he said and stooped to put his face near the opening. "Come on out now. I won't hurt you, nx14."

Silence.

"A bit scared, I see. Understandable. I would be too if I was in your situation. But you see, I'm afraid Ansem is taking all of my money and I need to get some of it back. You understand, don't you? You and your kin will fetch a lovely price. You want to help everyone, don't you?" the familiar man said. Xion pushed her brows together confusedly.

"What do you mean, help them?" the unfamiliar asked, his tone sounding disgusted, as if the very idea was cause enough to vomit. The other laughed again.

"That old fool is using the surplus to refurbish all the facilities. Upgrading and such nonsense. Why he feels they need it all after so many centuries of living the same way, I have no idea. It's never been a problem before, but once Xemnas died all of the accounts opened up and now, I have nothing. I have to recoup my losses somewhere. The only problem is that the money will keep withdrawing until he's finished. But it's alright, I don't mind the upgrades if they're paid for in blood," the familiar said. Xion swallowed thickly, knowing it was just a matter of time.

A hand shot through the pile of leaf litter she had pushed to the entrance. Fingers found her ankle quickly and she was suddenly hauled out of the hole. She struggled and thrashed, attempting to get away but the hand on her ankle didn't relent. She clawed at the entrance to her hole, flinging leaves everywhere in the process. Another hand grabbed her other ankle and she was pulled up into the air, dangling freely. She couldn't see much aside from the ground and feet as she tried to get away. Suddenly, there was a ' _click_ ' before something cold and metal pressed to her leg directly under where she was being held. She craned her neck to see the unfamiliar man holding a pistol to her limb. She barely had time to gasp before he fired a shot. White hot pain jolted through her leg as a fountain of blood poured down her calf. She screamed. Hardly a few seconds later the same happened to her other leg and she was dropped.

She flopped onto the ground heavily, panting through hysteric sobs and staring at her useless legs. She tried to pull herself away again, using the tree for leverage, but the pain wouldn't let her move very far. She looked to the familiar man with tears streaking her face. He looked completely calm as he typed away at his tablet. He finished what he was doing and stood still, waiting. She felt it instantly. Her change code had been activated again and her Primal form was forced to push through. It was too soon, her body hadn't fully recovered the equilibrium. Her spine convulsed and threw her backwards as her innards bubbled unhealthily. She blinked in and out of consciousness as she changed, thrashing around in her place. Once it was finished, she lay still, too tired to even bother attempting to run away. Her legs wouldn't let her even if she did try. She stared up at the familiar man as his form blurred in and out of focus. He turned to his comrade.

"Make sure she doesn't get up, and then take her skin," Saïx ordered before heading back to the truck.


	86. Chapter 86

**Chapter 86**

Roxas was up far too early listening to far too much noise. Ansem apparently felt the same way because he looked like absolute garbage as the two Carriers on Roxas' end of the call continued screaming. Axel and Saïx were nose to nose as they yelled accusations at one another, fingers pointing and tension flying. It had started nice. Axel had contacted Ansem after breakfast to talk to him about the recent discovery. It had lasted about fifteen minutes before Saïx had come in and the cacophony started. They just couldn't stay out of each other's way long enough. Not even for a simple conversation. Roxas was already tired of it, as was Ansem. The blonde tried his best to break them up, by way of trying to talk to them or attempting to pull Axel away, but they didn't relent. Half the things they were yelling had nothing to do with the original purpose of the call and they were dredging up old wounds, which was pointless.

"Axel…" Roxas trailed with a heavy sigh as he was ignored. Pulling on the redhead hadn't helped any, nor was trying to get between them to push them apart. The blonde was running out of ideas and gave Ansem a helpless look. The Technician yawned a bit before shrugging. He propped his chin up on his palm, balancing it on the arm of his chair as he waited patiently for one of them to run out of steam. Roxas wasn't willing to wait that long. A bone splitting headache was threatening to brew. The only solace he had was that the punches hadn't flown yet, which was the next step if they ran out of things to argue about.

Looking for things to distract Axel with was difficult. Because usually the only thing that distracted him anymore was Roxas himself and the blonde wasn't willing to shove the redhead's hand in his pants in front of anyone. If he had any idea of how to deal with Saïx he would've tried something, but that was encroaching on dangerous territory. Axel was still hooked up to the Catalogue terminal though, and once he remembered that, the blonde had an idea. He moved in between the arguing pair and the terminal giving Ansem a small smile before his fingers went to work. He turned up the sensitivity on the redhead's Signet before exiting out of the application. Axel couldn't feel the change so he was none the wiser. He was also so engrossed in his screaming match he didn't notice Roxas leave the lab.

He had only been up for two hours, but Roxas was already exhausted. He trudged his way back to the cabin where Riku and Sora were still getting ready for the day. He approached the snowy Carrier and tapped him on the shoulder. Riku looked to him with a raised brow. Roxas heaved a sigh.

"Punch me, please," the blonde said. Immediately Riku's brows creased confusedly.

"Uh…can I ask, why?"

"Just do it before Axel does something stupid."

"I'm not really sure I should…"

"Riku, please."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"You promise you won't be angry with me?"

"Yes! Just do it!"

"…Alright," Riku said uneasily. He backed up a step before rearing back and punching Roxas square in the nose. The blonde backpedaled with an unrestricted yelp as blood seeped out of his nostrils. Riku winced. "Too hard?" he asked. The blonde clutched his face, hissing through his teeth with the pain. He shook his head, unable to answer. Sora stuck his head out of the bathroom with a disgruntled face.

Axel froze. His words halted mid-sentence and his pupils dilated as his Signet alerted him to Roxas' pain. Saïx was suddenly completely unimportant. The redhead straightened and looked around the lab for his Charge. When he didn't see him, he started to panic. He looked to Ansem.

"I'll call you back," he said quickly and ended their call. He unplugged his Link before heading off to continue his search.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Saïx spat.

"Fuck off, I have something to take care of," the redhead answered as he left the lab and surveyed the area. "Roxas!" he barked before running across the snow. The blonde had exited the cabin again, a stream of blood dripping down his arm and off his elbow. Axel was there in an instant, pulling his hand away from his face to inspect it. "What happened? You were just in the lab with me!" the redhead asked, his expression laced with concern.

"I walked into Riku's fist," the blonde said. Axel raised a brow.

"Riku hit you?"

"Because I asked him to, yeah."

"Why…?"

"Because you were ignoring me and I didn't need you to do something stupid to Saix," Roxas said. Axel heaved a sigh.

"You don't understand. He's done so mu—"

"I'm aware of what he's done, Axel. But that doesn't mean you can stoop to his level every time he walks past you. Help me clean up, calm down, and we can try again," the blonde said sternly. His nose stopped bleeding and he didn't think anything was broken, but at least it was a convincing show. Axel followed him inside quietly. Riku immediately brought his hands up defensively, expecting the redhead to get angry with him. Axel didn't say anything to him though and went to the kitchen. He dug around for a wash cloth before wetting it in the sink. Roxas scrubbed his arms and hands quickly before allowing the redhead to wipe his face.

"You didn't have to do something so drastic; you could've seriously gotten hurt." Axel said with a very prominent frown.

"Maybe I did or maybe I didn't but the point was to get your attention and I succeeded. All the other ideas I came up with weren't things I'd feel comfortable doing in mixed company. Just… keep yourself under control instead of tuning me out when you get angry like that. Please."

"I'm sorry," the redhead said, eyes downcast. After Roxas' face was sufficiently cleared away of anything red and dripping, he washed his mouth out with a gulp of water. He touched his nose gently. It was sore, but not broken. He hoped he didn't bruise too badly. Axel was still a bit droopy when he was set to go again.

"What's wrong?" the blonde asked. Axel had every right to be upset with him but Roxas didn't expect him to look so _broken_. As if he was a piece of crumbling china.

"I don't like seeing you hurt," the redhead said flatly. Roxas heaved a sigh before giving him a small smile.

"It's alright. It's not bad," he assured.

"I apologize. Next time I'll refuse," Riku interjected from across the room. Axel looked to him briefly.

"No, it's my fault. Roxas is right; I need to not get so caught up in things when I get angry," he agreed. Roxas lifted himself up on his tip toes to wrap his arms around the redhead's neck snugly. Axel hugged him back readily and rested his chin on the blonde's shoulder. They stayed together for as long as Roxas' ankles let him before they broke away, the redhead planting a kiss between the blonde's eyebrows.

"Want to try again?" Roxas asked. Axel nodded some. The blonde smiled. They left together, heading out of the cabin and back to the lab. Saïx was there still. He had reconnected to Ansem and they were talking amongst themselves. The entering pair couldn't see Saïx's face but Ansem's was completely serious. He noticed Axel and Roxas first and nodded in their direction. Saïx turned in his seat just enough to see them, his eyes expressionless. It was a brief glance before he turned back to Ansem. Roxas noticed he was hooked up to the Catalogue by his tablet, instead of his Link, which he found strange. There wasn't any reason to hide anymore.

"Everything alright?" Ansem asked, looking the two over curiously. Roxas nodded some.

"Fine," he said before Axel could protest. The redhead looked to him before nodding.

"Alright," Ansem said and leaned back in his chair with a tired sigh. "I understand the situation and quite frankly, this is nothing new. Axel, you're not the first to discover Saïx and you probably won't be the last. It happens every few years. The only difference now is Xemnas isn't here for damage control. Have you told anyone else?" the Technician asked.

"Just Riku and Sora…" Axel trailed. He didn't like where this is going.

"I can't stop you but I would appreciate it if you could keep this under wraps. If for no other reason than to keep the chaos on my end minimal," Ansem said.

"What, that's it? That's all the resolution I'm going to get from this? So he's allowed to just beat the hell out of me without any sort of punishment?"

"That's a separate matter. This doesn't give you an excuse to abuse Saïx any, though. He's still a Technician and is still your superior. As for his treatment of the other Carriers, there isn't much I can do since it isn't technically illegal. He knows my stance on the issue. It's an old one," Ansem said flatly, giving Saïx a hard look. The pair behind him couldn't see his face. "But since you allowed yourself to be discovered, again, I will have to suspend you until I can make sure the mayhem is held at bay."

"I understand," Saïx said, his voice cold.

"Good, you're dismissed. Leave your tablet behind, I still need to talk to Axel," Ansem said. Saïx nodded and stood. He left quietly, avoiding eye contact with the pair at the doors. Once he was gone, Ansem let out another long sigh. Axel went to take Saïx's place in the chair. Roxas welcomed himself to a knee to sit on. The Technician on the screen took a moment to gather himself, the stress obvious on his face.

"Can I ask you a question?" Roxas asked. Ansem looked to him before nodding some. "When you told Sora and me that the oldest living Carrier was only about twelve hundred years old, was that a lie?"

"Not entirely. He's the oldest living Carrier I can talk about freely, anyway."

"How many others are there that you _can't_ talk about?" the blonde asked.

"I can't say. Unfortunately the infrastructure of our organization is based on control, Roxas. If the word got around too much, more than it already has, it could throw a wrench in a lot of the inner workings. I need to protect what I have as much as possible."

"That's not exactly satisfying."

"I understand. But that's just the way it is unfortunately. But I will say that the rest of your trip will be handled differently. I need to find a replacement Technician for you before you can continue on," Ansem said.

"So…what happens to Saïx then?" Axel asked, hoping that wasn't all to Ansem's resolution.

"As of right now? He's to return to his home and is suspended until I say otherwise. I know what you're trying to get at Axel, but I can't do much else outside of what already happened. He didn't technically break the law and though his actions are uncalled for, I can't fire him for it. I don't have the authority to since I'm not his employer. The government is. And the government follows the law and the law only. Not feelings. I wish I could do more."

"Well that's just fucking great. So he gets to go home and sit around in his fancy house and do nothing. A vacation. Wonderful. Just fucking wonderful," Axel spat grumpily and leaned back in his seat with a huff. Roxas leaned back against him, feeling relatively the same way. Ansem scowled and looked thoughtful.

"I may be able to make the transition into the next part of your trip a little easier. If it'll help ease the upset a little."

"What do you mean?" Roxas asked.

"Well originally what was supposed to happen was you all were supposed to take another plane ride, stay at a hotel for a few days and then take another plane the rest of the way. That way Saïx would be able to get all the things he needed together in order to work on the next dome and you all could relax. The only problem with that was that Riku and Axel were going to have to be housed in the hotel's basement and away from the public. They wouldn't be able to use the facilities or any of the luxuries there. But… in light of all that's happened maybe I can change all that. Obviously Saïx won't be there but I may be able to get a pass to the hotel to let Riku and Axel to join you and Sora," Ansem said.

"R-really?" Axel stuttered.

"Yes. I understand the years you and Saïx have known each other have been strained, Axel. I'm not oblivious to his treatment of the Carriers. I hate it, honestly, but like I said, it isn't illegal so there isn't a real solution to the problem otherwise. I can do that much for you though. Give you a little relief."

"What about the plane?" Roxas asked. "Will they have to be leashed and in cages still?"

"Leashed?" Ansem asked, scrunching his brows together. "Carriers don't have to be leashed. What purpose would that serve? They only need to wear collars so the public understands what they are," he said. Axel's jaw dropped. Roxas' eyes widened.

"What? But…Saïx had Axel stay in his cage the entire way here because we lost his leash! He wouldn't even let him out to use the bathroom," the blonde blurted. Ansem seemed surprised by the sudden confession.

"I wasn't aware, my apologies. I _am_ aware however, of what Axel did to his car, but I can understand that as well now," the Technician said, sending the redhead a light glare. Axel fought back a smile. Ansem heaved a sigh and rubbed his brows a bit. "There are too many details to sort out and if we get too nit-picky we could be here for hours. I'll see what I can do about the airline and the hotel but I would like you all to move past everything else. Like I said, I would like to keep this hush-hush if we can. At least until things on my end get cleared up."

"So… you're bribing us to keep quiet?" Axel asked. Ansem shrugged.

"I can take it all back if you want, if that upsets you."

"No! We're cool with that," the redhead amended quickly, shaking his head.

"Alright, then it settled. By the time you need to travel again, I should have everything set whether it all comes to fruition or not. Don't worry. Saïx will be dealt with as much as I'm able to. Take it easy for the next day or so and everything will be handled," Ansem said. Axel and Roxas nodded their understanding and the call was ended. They looked to each other for a moment.

"Are you okay with this?" Roxas asked. Axel shrugged.

"The bribery I can live without, the entire situation can rot now that I think about it but since I can't change it, I can live with this. Plus, this gives us an excuse to absolutely _destroy_ some hotel beds," he said with a sly smile. Roxas blinked a few times, cheeks turning pink.

"If Sora and Riku aren't sharing with us…" he trailed. Axel scowled.

"Oooh, good point. I hope not."

"Are you excited? I mean, aside from the hotel part, but to go see your ecosystem dome?"

"Yes I am," the redhead smiled. He reached a hand up and gently ran his thumb over the blonde's cheek and onto the bridge of his nose. "How's your face?"

"Sore. But I'll be fine," the blonde said and leaned against the touch.

"I still feel bad about that."

"Don't. We need to focus on moving on. Ansem's right," Roxas said. Axel sucked in a sigh before letting it out through his nose.

"I know. I'm trying."

* * *

Demyx had mixed feelings. He chewed on his lip idly as he finished up the last few details on the male Blank that would become the newest Carrier using his and Mary's child. There was no guarantee the entire process would work, which was what made him unsure. He had never heard of someone using a fully formed natural human child to make a Carrier. In theory, it should work, but those were only theories and they tended to have flaws. In reality, future Carrier embryos were conditioned from creation to be attracted to the Blanks and Carrier bodies so the fusion process went smoother. A natural human child wouldn't have that chemical conditioning. There were so many details, and so many possibilities for error, it made Demyx's head hurt. Zexion wasn't oblivious to his lover's distress either, and was always in arms reach for reassurance.

"Did you want to do something else for a bit? Maybe a run?" the steely-haired Charge asked, noticing Demyx's drooping posture. The Carrier shook his head.

"I don't feel like running," he said blankly as his pace at the Totem Terminal's keyboard slowed. Uh oh.

"…Really?" Zexion asked, the immediate concern creating a deep crease in his brow. Demyx pulled his legs up to his chest and balanced his heels on the edge of his chair. He hugged them tightly and laid his chin on his knees. He nodded a bit.

"Yeah, I just…I just kind of want to sleep."

"We just woke up, Dem."

"I know. But I'm still tired."

"Well…I suppose we can take a nap if you really want to."

"You don't have to come if you don't want to," Demyx said and pushed himself out of his seat to stand. He looked contemplative for a moment before looking to Zexion. "I actually want to be by myself for a bit. If that's okay," he said. The Charge blinked a few times in disbelief.

"Uh…yeah, that's fine," Zexion said deftly. The Carrier gave him a small smile before making to leave the lab. The Charge watched the doors swing closed behind him, feeling like a gaping hole had appeared in his chest. He couldn't remember a time when Demyx refused a run, or wanted to be alone. It scared him because he could remember himself so many years ago and even a bit of his behavior during the Carrier's stay in the Diagnostic Care Center. The worst part was he didn't know what to do about it or how to help. Demyx hardly asked for assistance or ever came off as needing it so Zexion never had to think about it before. It was an awful feeling.

Demyx ran his fingertips along the wall of the hallway as he made his way to his bedroom. He took his time, feeling the imperfections in the masonry and the way the continuous stimulation and the uneven texture made his skin numb. His mind was blank, unfeeling, as he walked along. He didn't feel any apparent distress or angst but the slight pain in the back of his skull told him the tension was there, waiting to burst out once he let it. He felt like he was falling as he stuffed his hand in his pocket and pulled out his keys and fiddled with them. Unlocking his door sounded like a set of prison doors clanking open, but before he could step inside, he was stopped. A pair of arms came around his chest from behind and hugged him tightly, a face resting between his shoulder blades. He looked down and recognized Zexion's hands immediately.

"Just a few minutes?" the Charge asked, mimicking what Demyx did to him practically every morning. The sandy blonde took a deep breath, feeling tears sting the backs of his eyes as he nodded and pushed his door open. They entered together and the door clicked shut quietly.

* * *

Ventus could feel it again; the tingling in the back of his throat and the heaviness in his chest. He was abnormally warm and lethargic and didn't feel like moving from his bed. He knew Terra was coming for a visit soon but he couldn't bring himself to get out of his room, let alone romp around like a horny teenager. He felt terrible and knew it was only a matter of time before he was deemed 'sick' for the fifteen millionth time. He hated it. After laying in his bed for most of the morning, there eventually came a knock around lunchtime signaling Terra's arrival. Ventus blinked groggily at the wall a few times before hauling himself out of the covers. He answered the door half dressed and looking like an absolute mess. The Technician raised a brow.

"Whoa, are you okay?" he asked. Ventus gave him a withering smile.

"Yeah, I'm cool," he said hoarsely. Terra scowled.

"Liar."

"I know. I don't think I can do much today but I'm willing to try."

"We don't have to."

"No, no you came all the way here I have to at least attempt to do something for you."

"Really, it's fine," Terra assured. Ventus coughed a few times, making the Technician wince with the raspy noise. He looked contemplative for a moment as the blonde continued his fit. Once he was finished, he gave Terra apologetic eyes.

"Sorry," he said and cleared his throat a bit. The Technician waved him off.

"I said its fine. No worries. I have an idea though if you have a couple days."

"Uh, I guess I do? I'm not really doing much. Leon and Cloud are watching Roxas and Axel's kids more than I am. Why? What are we doing?"

"How's about you come to my home so you're not by yourself? You can at least soak in the tub and use whatever else you need to help yourself feel better," Terra offered. Ventus stared at him for a quiet moment.

"Uh…" the blonde trailed, his voice cracking. "I…guess I could? I don't know."

"If you're uncomfortable you don't have to."

"Well I'm not uncomfortable per se, but I didn't think we had a relationship like that. Like… you know…" he faded, giving the Technician a sheepish look.

"A friendly one? I was under the impression we were friends. Was I wrong to think that?" Terra asked.

"No, we are, I just… I've never been invited to someone's house before. Especially not by someone who I'm sleeping with."

"Oh. I suppose it would be a bit strange then, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, a bit."

"You don't have to. I was just concerned you'd be here by yourself if things got worse," Terra said. Ventus coughed a few more times and his brows knit together worriedly.

"So long as you're okay with it," the blonde rasped once he was finished. "I wouldn't mind a soak."

"Fantastic. Grab some clothes and your toothbrush," Terra said and smiled.

* * *

Leon rolled over lazily and bumped into Cloud, who was dead to the world still. The Carrier was only halfway dead as the morning light streamed in through the windows and jabbed at his eyes. He was vaguely aware of it being a bit later than usual but it wasn't until he dragged his Charge's arm over to his face to check his watch that he realized it was almost one in the afternoon. For a few blissful seconds he didn't think that was a problem and flopped back against his pillow again, curling an arm over Cloud comfortably. Then it hit him. It was one in the afternoon and they hadn't done anything but sleep all day. His eyes flew open again and he bolted upright. The blonde next to him was completely unaware and rolled onto his stomach, deftly reaching up to squeeze a pillow to his face. The Carrier nudged his Charge, and was promptly ignored.

"Cloud," Leon urged as he shoved the blonde harder. He earned an annoyed twitch, but not much else. Another shove, and a grunt. Another shove, another grunt but this time with more twitching. Leon sighed and glared at the blonde a bit. Cloud's arms were up and it left his armpits exposed. Instead of doing something incredibly unmanly like tickling him, which would've come off as relatively cliché if not cute, Leon opted for something else. For as much as he loved Cloud, he couldn't deny he was human and humans were hairy things. Consequently, the blonde had armpit hair much like all the other adult men Leon had come across in his life. The russet Carrier didn't pay much attention to such details anymore much like how Cloud didn't pay attention to the scar on his face but now that he was looking for a way to wake the blonde up, he noticed them. And then he gently took a few of them between his fingertips and yanked them out. Cloud's eyes shot open and he let out a yelp, sitting up quickly and stuffing a hand under his arm and giving Leon a murderous glare.

"What the _fuck_ was that for, dick?" the blonde barked. The Carrier shrugged.

"Good afternoon," Leon said simply. Cloud rubbed his armpit with a scowl, he checked his watch.

"Whoops," he said when he took in the time.

"We should probably do something relatively productive today. At least check up on everything."

"Yeah yeah," the blonde said and yawned. Leon shuffled out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. He went about relieving himself and brushing his teeth before going to the shower. Cloud took a minute to wake up properly before heading downstairs to start the coffee for himself and find something to chew on. By the time he was heading back upstairs after breakfast, Leon was heading down to find something for himself. It wasn't until Leon went back upstairs to wait for his Charge that he noticed the blonde's discomfort. Cloud was getting dressed but his movements weren't as fluid and he grunted a bit when he lifted his arms over his head to pull his shirt on. Leon caught a quick glance at his back before it disappeared under the fabric and he was slammed with a sudden overload of guilt. He went to the blonde and lifted his shirt again and ran his hands over the bruises marring his Charge's sides where his hands had gripped him the night before.

"You should've said something if I was hurting you," the Carrier said. Cloud shrugged.

"I'm fine," the blonde said quickly and moved to the side so his shirt fell back into place and Leon couldn't prod at him anymore. To anyone else, Leon's expression would been considered blank, possibly even cold. But Cloud saw the hurt in the backs of his eyes, the slight uneasy flicker they held that showed the Carrier's guilt. The Charge sighed in annoyance. "This is why I don't say anything, you get all upset about it regardless of how I feel. I'm fine, it didn't hurt, stop worrying."

"You still should—"

"How could I say anything about it when I didn't realize it hurt in the first place? I'm fine. Stop it," the blonde ordered. Leon stared at him for a moment before he let out a small sigh.

"Fine. I don't believe you, but fine. Tell me next time."

"If I notice, I will."

"I don't enjoy hurting you, you know."

"That's total bullshit and you know it," Cloud snorted. Leon shrugged.

"Fine I don't enjoy hurting you _unintentionally_."

"I know. But you don't have to worry about it so much. So stop bitching, because we need to get going. We have shit to do."

"Don't call me a bitch, prick," Leon grumped and took a step closer; narrowing his eyes with the blonde's, their faces barely an inch apart.

"Asshole."

"Twat."

"Dick."

"Jizz guzzler."

"…That's just awful."

"I know, I got that one from Demyx."

"I can tell."

"He really needs to like… read a book and expand his vocabulary a bit."

"Yeah, I agree."

A moment of silence.

"So… ready to go?" Leon asked. Cloud looked contemplative for a second before he shrugged.

"Yeah, sure."

* * *

Axel scowled a bit and pulled at the collar around his neck. The reminder of their stay in Riku's ecosystem was peaceful. The lose ends were tied up, Saïx left, and pictures were taken. They said their goodbyes to the cliffs and snow, attempting to not think of all the unfortunate circumstances they had come across and decided to move forward together as a group. The ride to the airport was quiet and relatively comfortable. As was the check in, and the baggage handling. But the collar? Axel could live without it. It was better than the leash and he was hoping the news would be good as they meandered through the crowds for the gate. Their boarding passes were waiting for them, as was a Technician they had never seen before.

He was relatively tall, with short cropped gossamer blonde hair and striking sapphire eyes. His features were chiseled into his face and offset by the massive amount of piercings he had in each ear. His posture was relaxed and his smile genuine. It reached his eyes and gave them a mischievous glint, almost one of humor. The group met up with him and Roxas noticed that his wardrobe was completely casual outside of his lab coat. He shook hands with all of them, his smile persisting.

"Hello everyone, it's a pleasure. My name is Luxord, and I'll be tagging along and all that good stuff in Saïx's place. I can assure you I'm not as… abrasive," the Technician laughed. Already Roxas could tell the difference in Ansem's environment from Saïx's. Not that it wasn't overly blatant before, but it was very refreshing. Meeting Luxord had instilled a new confidence in the blonde; that the rest of their trip would be much easier and the only stress would come from getting the work done. He could live with that. They exchanged pleasantries and names before moving on to the topic at hand.

"So what's the word?" Axel asked, his mood having risen considerably. Luxord's smile spread into a toothy grin as he reached behind the gate's podium and took up the boarding passes. He handed them out to each of them accordingly.

"You're all set to go. First Class," he said happily. Roxas' eyes nearly fell out of his skull.

"Wh-really?" he stuttered and opened his pass. Sure enough, they were scheduled for a First Class flight. All of them. Luxord was going with them, of course.

"I have no idea what you guys pulled to get such a nice gift from Ansem, but I suggest you all take full advantage of it," the Technician said.

"Ansem didn't say anything to you?" Sora asked. Luxord shook his head.

"He only said Saïx was suspended and I needed to take over. I can only assume he was being a dick again and needed a break before he cracked and caused any permanent damage. Why? Is there something else I should know?" he asked.

"Uh, no. That's just about what it amounts to," Axel said quickly. Luxord raised a suspicious brow before shrugging.

"Fair enough. Shall we?" he asked and motioned behind himself. Roxas repositioned his carry-on bag over his shoulder and took Axel's hand before heading in through the gate with Riku and Sora trailing close behind them. The populace around them spread out as they headed into the crowd, as if they expected Axel and Riku to go insane and attack them. The people looked genuinely scared and gave them odd looks depicting as much. The Carriers kept their eyes low in reflex, watching the floor as it sped by underneath them. Roxas gave Axel's hand a reassuring squeeze and they threaded through the faces. Some of the people saw the redhead and turned back to leave through the gate and back into the airport proper, presumably to switch flights or make a gossip filled phone call. Roxas could only guess.

Probably the most outward reactions they received were the people in the First Class section of the plane. Upon immediate impression, they all looked wealthy. Some were distracted with what looked to be work, some had tablets, some had small portable computers with them, but once they noticed the new company they were all shocked. The most obvious was an older man in the front row. He saw Axel and his jaw nearly broke off he was gaping so hard. His face turned bright red before he angrily slammed his briefcase closed and stood. The group had hardly enough time to get out of his way so he could leave. He stopped when he reached Riku though and gave the snowy Carrier a glowering once over. Riku kept his eyes down and tried not to provoke him. The man scoffed a bit before spitting directly onto the Carrier's face. Riku flinched and immediately started to pull his shirt up to wipe it off. Sora gasped.

"Hey! What the hell was that for?" the brunette squeaked and stomped to the man, the anger smoldering out of his eyes. The man leaned down, giving Sora a narrow sneer.

"Abominations have no right to be in my presence," he said before stomping away. Sora made to go after him and start an argument but Riku put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"It's not worth it, Sora," the Carrier said blandly with a small sigh. Luxord scowled and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at the rest of the passengers. There weren't very many.

"Anyone else got a problem? Takeoff's in a half hour, I suggest you leave now if you're going to be pussies about it," the Technician said. There were a lot of angry looks and a low murmur as some of the people began to shuffle their things together. After another ten minutes of shifting around and letting the passengers off, only two people remained, which was surprising. Roxas was disturbed with how many people would rather switch around their schedules than sit through a flight with a Carrier in their vicinity. Axel's mood had deflated by the time they took their seats.

The cabin itself was relatively comfortable. The seats had more space between them, enough for a footrest that folded down underneath as well as space to recline back. There was a decent sized television at the front, poised and ready for a movie to play (not that any of them would understand the point), and the bathroom in the back had ample room instead of being the size of a telephone booth. The upholstery was plush as was the carpeting and Axel wiggled his toes in it absently, attempting not to think too much about the massive kick to the societal balls he and Riku had just gone through. Roxas liked the stewardess. She had nice breasts and he hoped her breath wasn't as bad as the other one on the previous flight.

Riku and Sora took seats more towards the back on the far side of the cabin while Roxas and Axel sat catty corner in the front seats. Luxord helped himself to an entire row in the middle and pushed all the armrests up to make a couch for himself. The two other passengers sat near him. Axel propped his chin up on him palm on the arm rest and looked out the window at the people milling about on the runway. Roxas, after staring at the stewardess for a few minutes, took his hand and wove their fingers together, noticing the redhead's blank face. Axel looked to him.

"Everything okay?" the blonde asked in a hushed tone. The volume in their section was very muted and he didn't feel he should be the one to blurt anything out and disrupt the quiet. Axel shrugged.

"Yeah… I'm fine. I just hope the hotel isn't like the plane so far. Maybe I'm asking too much but I would like to have a bit of fun with you if I could and I don't need people to rip my testicles out with their eyes every time I walk past them. It's kind of discouraging."

"I hope so too. It can't be all bad, right? Not everyone will dislike Carriers. I bet there'll be some that don't mind. If not," the blonde said and leaned in close so only the redhead can hear. "I guess we'll just have to stay in the room and destroy the beds the entire time, right?" he asked. Axel raised a brow at him before he cracked a smile.

"Well in that case, I hope they're all assholes."


	87. Chapter 87

**Chapter 87**

The plane ride was proving peaceful. Roxas was excited for the hotel and the activities it promised. He took the time to reflect on how far he had progressed with Axel while the redhead slept. He was amazed with himself and how happy he allowed himself to be. His only regret was that he hadn't done it sooner. As he thought, a smile ghosted over his lips and he ran his fingers through Axel's hair a few times.

The redhead had osmosed over to his side of the seat in his sleep and was currently making his legs numb. Roxas didn't mind though. The warmth that radiated off of the Carrier was lulling him into a daze the longer he stayed still. His entire lap was several degrees hotter with Axel's face on it. The blonde was surprised the redhead could curl up as tightly as he had. His entire body had been squashed onto the seat and foot rest with his limbs pulled up as much as they could be and his hands were tucked against the blonde's thigh. The other two passengers had given them both curious looks and Roxas wasn't oblivious to them.

Luxord had sprawled out haphazardly across his makeshift sofa and was snoozing away quietly while across the plane, Sora was propped up against Riku contentedly. The movie continued on up front, unwatched. Roxas relaxed back and tried to fall asleep with them, but was only out for maybe an hour before Axel woke up and his lap was suddenly much colder. The blonde peeled his eyes open when he felt the redhead's weight against him leave. He looked around and noticed everyone was asleep, even the other random passengers. Axel stretched his arms up over his head and cracked his shoulders. He settled back into his seat with a sleepy sigh before looking at his Charge. Roxas smiled and he smiled back.

"Okay nap?" the blonde asked quietly. Axel rubbed an eye and nodded. Roxas scooted forward and pushed his foot rest down so he could stand. He stretched himself as much as he could, reaching his hands high over his head and standing up onto his tip toes. The redhead watched him, his eyes going directly to the line of skin that appeared above his pants when the blonde's shirt was pulled up with his movements. Before the Charge could settle back again, Axel hooked an arm around his waist and pulled him close, nuzzling his face into the blonde's stomach. Roxas managed not to make a sound with his surprise but ended up leaning against the redhead for stability. Axel lifted his shirt just enough to leave a spattering of light kisses under his navel. Roxas peeked behind himself at the sleeping passengers and wondered what their position must have looked like from behind.

"What's wrong?" Axel asked, his words muffling against the blonde's skin. Roxas was more concerned about someone waking up than he was cuddle time and it was a bit distressing on the redhead's end. His Charge looked to him and shook his head.

"Nothing," he attempted to lie. Axel pushed his brows together and released the blonde. Roxas sat again and the redhead gave him an incredulous look.

"Does it bother you to be affectionate with me in front of people?" the Carrier asked quietly, his tone sounding hurt. The blonde scowled and quickly shook his head.

"No, no, I was just worried what it looked like from their side, is all," Roxas amended and leaned forward and gave Axel a firm kiss on the lips. "I'm okay with simple stuff but I really don't want them to think we're attempting to join the Mile High Club," he said. Axel raised a brow.

"What's the Mile High Club?" he asked. Roxas balked at him.

"You've never heard of it before?"

"No, is there some sort of membership card I should be aware of?" the redhead asked. The blonde stifled a laugh behind his hand.

"Back on my home plane the Mile High Club was where people tried to have sex while flying on an airplane. It's just one of those taboo things where people try to do it just for the sake of doing it but it was such a communal want that it eventually became an unspoken 'club' even though there isn't an actual group behind it. Like, there's no actual meeting hall or membership card or whatever. I can't believe you've never heard of it."

"I've never been on an airplane normally before, nor have I discussed sex with anyone else before. Well…that's actually not true. I talked to those random girls about your birthday but that didn't have anything to do with this. Though I am quite intrigued," the redhead admitted with a slight glint in his eye. Roxas immediately felt like he shouldn't have said anything.

"Are you now?" the blonde asked, afraid of the answer but attempting to play it off. Sex in the bathroom wasn't the problem in of itself. It was sex with Axel, who was loud, and would probably wake everyone up. Not only that, but even if the redhead could keep his voice down the musk afterwards would make things wholly obvious. It didn't sit well with Roxas. They couldn't open any windows and there wasn't a shower to use, either. The idea was nice, but not very practical if there was an audience around to notice. Axel twiddled his thumbs, giving the blonde an innocent look and a tiny nod.

"Yes, very much. How many Carriers can say they've joined the Mile High Club with their Charges? Not very many, that's for sure."

"Yeah I know but there're people around and the walls aren't that thick and the ventilation is nonexistent…" Roxas trailed his brows pushing together nervously. Axel thought it over. He took the blonde's hand after a moment and stood, tugging him along. Roxas' heart rate sped up as he allowed himself to be led out of his seat towards the back of the cabin and the cubicle of a bathroom. He cast an uneasy glance to everyone around. He tried to pull away before he could be tugged through the bathroom door but Axel wouldn't let him have any headway. He was yanked in and the door was shut quietly. The redhead was quick to notice the lock and clicked it closed. He had to duck to fit in the space so it forced him to loom over the blonde a bit, which didn't help Roxas' nervousness. The bathroom itself was bigger than an economy class one, but it was still only made for one person.

"You're starting to sweat," the redhead remarked with a smirk. Roxas looked up to him through pieces of his hair.

"I really don't feel comfortable doing this in here, Axel," the blonde said quietly. The redhead didn't respond but his smile widened and he stooped lower, pressing his lips against Roxas' neck gently.

"I know you don't," he whispered against his Charge's pulse.

"Then why are you pushing me?" Roxas shuddered, putting his hands on the redhead's shoulders and giving him a light push. Axel didn't relent and continued pecking away at his skin lightly, his hands sliding down the door to come to rest on the blonde's arms. Roxas' frazzled nerves and panicking senses forced his skin to break out in sudden goosebumps under the redhead's touch. The blonde's fingers dug into the Carrier's shoulders, silently agonizing over what was happening. His senses told him it was fine, it didn't matter, that sex was normal and it was a bit daring and kinky to do it where they could be caught. But his mind was screaming at him to avoid the embarrassment. The conflict of interests was terrifying. Axel hadn't even done much of anything to him yet and he already felt strange.

The Carrier smoothed his palms over his Charge's sides, moving forward over his abdomen, and then downward. Roxas sucked in a hesitant breath as he felt fingertips wiggle under the tops of his shorts and under his underwear's waistband. Axel's lips on his neck didn't become any more daring though. They stayed gentle, teasing. His fingers inched down under the fabric and the farther they went, the more nervous Roxas became. The redhead was going to agonizingly slow that the anticipation built and built until it was released in a sudden gasp from the blonde when Axel's fingers touched his quickly stiffening erection. The Carrier pulled away from his neck and pressed the sides of their faces together so he could whisper into the blonde's ear.

"Sshh…you don't want anyone to hear, right?" the redhead asked, feeling the sweat bead off the side of his lover's face against his skin. Roxas swallowed thickly and let out a shaky breath. He didn't really understand where such overbearing fear was coming from, but he chocked it up to it being a completely new experience. Having sex in the rain was one thing because he felt pretty secure in his assumption that it was unlikely anyone would come find them in such weather. "Do you trust me?" Axel asked abruptly, pulling away enough to see Roxas' face. The blonde blinked at him, trying not to concentrate on the hands in is pants.

"I…uh…yeah. I do. I just don't understand why you're pushing this so much…" he said, his cheeks bright red. Axel gave him a sly smile and a soft kiss.

"Because now I can't stop thinking about it. But trust me, it'll be alright. We don't have to get so worked up everyone will hear and…smell," he laughed a bit under his breath. His hands continued down, shifting the blonde's trapped member around so it stood up, pinned to his stomach under the redhead's palm. Roxas immediately began chewing on his lip, his brows knitting together with uncertainty. Axel leaned forward again and pressed their lips together tenderly. The blonde was more than willing to focus on that instead of his fear and responded quickly, his hands leaving their death grip on the redhead's shoulders to wrap his arms around his neck comfortably.

The kiss lasted several minutes with occasional break for air. Roxas sighed against Axel's lips as the redhead massaged the underside of his length gently. He felt every crease, every ridge, every curve, making the blonde's toes curl in his shoes. Roxas was beginning to prefer the feather light touches the longer Axel continued. For a while now they had been so wrapped up in each other that they had forgotten the exploration involved with the other's body. The passion had enveloped them, the lust, which was nice and would come eventually, but the gentle reminder beforehand was just as enticing. It also didn't help that Axel had chosen an airplane restroom to remind Roxas of it all, but, he couldn't be choosy. The redhead broke away from the blonde's lips and gave him a small smile through half-lidded eyes. Roxas reciprocated.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful I think you are?" Axel asked quietly. The blonde's smile faded a bit and his eyes unfocused as he let the compliment sink in. He smiled again suddenly, his cheeks turning pinker and he let out a low chuckle.

"Ah, no. You haven't. Beautiful is a new one," he said. The redhead grinned and turned his head to the side to land a few quick pecks on the blonde's neck again, his palm rubbing his Charge's arousal still. Roxas leaned against him and hummed his approval. Axel's kisses trailed downward, his free hand smoothing around the blonde's side to cup the small of his back as he moved lower. He took his hand out of Roxas' pants to move to the front to undo the button and zipper. He pulled the fabric down just enough to expose his Charge's length, giving him a firm stroke, eliciting another light gasp. The redhead lifted the blonde's shirt to leave a trail of pecks over his torso as he knelt in front of him. Roxas leaned back against the door, watching with hazy eyes and flushed skin.

Axel pulled the blonde's hips forward towards his face with his arm. His hand braced Roxas' member before he wrapped his tongue around it readily. The blonde's hand immediately went to the redhead's hair and he let out a long sigh, trying his best to keep quiet as Axel started to suck gently. The Carrier worked his tongue over the blonde's skin, tasting him, savoring him. His pace quickened and the fingers in his hair tightened as the blonde's breath sped up. He took a moment to favor the tip and head with his tongue, peeking up at Roxas' face. The expression was slack, needy and it pleased him greatly. He resumed his ministrations, and Roxas squeaked back his lust drenched sounds.

"Axel…" the blonde trailed breathlessly. The redhead chuckled a bit, the reverberations rippling through Roxas' loins. Axel's pace quickened, listening as his lover's breath became uneven as the fingers in his hair gripped tighter. The redhead continued until the blonde's hand halted his movements. A second later Roxas let out a quiet choked moan and released. Axel held still and took all his Charge had to give him before pulling back. The blonde scrunched his brows together. "Sorry… I should've said something," he said quietly, Axel raised a hand and shook his head. He scooted to the tiny sink and spat.

"No, it's fine," he assured and turned on the tap to take a gulp of water, using his hand as a cup. He swished it through his teeth a few times and spat it out. "As much as the rest of you tastes okay, I can never get used to that no matter how I try. Sorry," the Carrier said, sending his Charge apologetic eyes. Roxas laughed a bit and resituated himself in his pants. Axel stood and waited until the blonde had pulled himself together again. Roxas' eyes went directly to the very obvious bulge in the redhead's shorts and his face ignited all over again. The redhead chuckled a bit.

"Uhh…" the blonde trailed, realizing the entire situation was incredibly one sided. Axel pulled him into a hug and buried his face into the blonde's hair. Roxas hugged him back, feeling a bit guilty for taking all the enjoyment.

"I understand why you didn't want to go all the way in here, and that's fine. I agree with you. But I wanted to try a little bit, just to say we did. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'd be happy to let you reciprocate if it wouldn't make things completely obvious," the redhead whispered. "We can worry about me later when we have a shower and proper ventilation."

"You're sure?" Roxas asked, looking up at him. Axel smiled and gave him a brief kiss.

"Yes. I'm sure. Now get out of here so I can… take care of myself," the redhead said, his cheeks turning slightly pink. The blonde blinked a few times before nodding deftly and scooting to the door and peeking outside. No one had stirred that he could see and he quietly made his way out of the bathroom and back to his seat.

* * *

No one caught Axel and Roxas in their antics, and neither of them could decide if what they did counted as joining the Mile High Club or not, but it didn't matter. Regardless of membership, it wasn't common for Carriers to be inside an airplane's cabin let alone doing anything sexual in it so they felt accomplished all the same. The rest of the ride was quiet and the drive into the city for the hotel was more of the same. Riku and Sora seemed tired still and they slumped against each other in the seat farthest away from the front while Roxas snuggled up against Axel under his arm in the middle seat. Luxord drove and yawned the entire way.

Roxas noticed, as soon as they entered the dome's city, that the people there didn't have a weather generator. The glass overhead suddenly seemed so much colder than he remembered it. It was alright though; he wouldn't be there long enough to care properly. The hotel itself wasn't very exciting on the outside. It had windows instead of open holes, and the same flat surface that most every other building had. Square, gray, cube-like building. But the _inside_ was far more than any of them expected.

It looked like a normal upscale hotel with painted walls, artwork, lavish furnishings (mostly metal though), nice floors and extravagant lighting. There was an elevator in the back of the lobby flanked by two flights of wide stairs but beyond that were all the food facilities. The hall off to the side held all the recreational areas and across from that on the opposite side were rooms for people with disabilities or elderly that couldn't handle getting up and down the layout very easily. It was all very bright, very colorful, and surprised everyone.

But as soon as they entered, Roxas suddenly had a very bad feeling. Almost all the people milling about stopped and _stared_ at them. Luxord wasn't fazed and strolled in confidently like he owned the place right to the counter and requested their room keys. The attendant at the check-in counter had to take a minute to pull her attention away from Axel and Riku before shakily doing her job. She practically shoved the little plastic card-keys into Luxord's hand and ushered them away. The Technician didn't say anything about their lack of hospitality so far but requested a bellhop as loudly as he could, just to make her twitch.

"Looks like we're staying in the room the entire time," the redhead mumbled to Roxas quietly, subconsciously pulling at his collar. The blonde took his hand and gave it a squeeze. Sora snorted.

"Fuck that, I'm finding the pool," he declared and Riku blinked at him. The brunette looked to him. "You're coming too."

"Am I?" the snowy Carrier asked.

"Yep," Sora said grumpily and crossed his arms over his chest indignantly. Riku smiled a bit.

"Well you taught me how to swim, I suppose it would be a waste to not even try," he said. Sora smiled and nudged him.

They had three rooms on the top floor. Luxord had his own which was going to be occupied by himself and a mountain of paperwork, and of course Roxas and Axel had one and Sora and Riku had the other. Only the Technician was completely isolated in his own room though. The other pairs had rooms right next to each other with a door in between them which Roxas decided would stay locked the entire time.

There were two beds to a room as well as a sitting area with a pull out couch in front of a television. The bathroom had an enormous jetted bathtub with a separate shower and double sinks. All of the finishes were high end and very clean. The carpet in the bedroom area was rich and soft, the bedding was silky and fresh, and the décor was well put together. There was a Home terminal jutting from the wall across from the beds instead of a phone though. Roxas vaguely wondered if his and Axel's house could be done up like the hotel was once they got to that point. It was a thought process that made him smile.

Axel, being overly curious, decided to rifle through all the drawers and anything he could open just to see what he could find. He found a tiny coffee maker and all the supplies to go with it, as well as the extra pillows and towels and washrags, extra overly fragrant toiletries, and actual minty toothpaste, a jug of bubble bath, a bible, several television remotes, an extra alarm clock (for some reason), and a hair dryer with a rechargeable base. But the greatest discovery was for his Charge. When he opened a cabinet next to the television his jaw dropped as he was blasted with a sudden rush of cold air.

"Holy shit, Roxas. There's a mini bar… thing," the redhead quipped, stooping to stare at all the tiny bottles of refrigerated liquor. The blonde raised a brow and dropped his bag on the bed and went to see. He had much of the same reaction as the Carrier did.

"Nice!" he said and reached for a bottle. He turned it over in his hand and read the label. "Too bad I have _no_ idea what this shit is. It's not like I know any brands," he squinted at the ingredients. "Again, it says 'barl-falfa' like I'm supposed to know what it is."

"It's a barley-alfalfa hybrid," Axel said simply and took the bottle to look at it. "I assume it something similar to whiskey," he twisted the top off and took a sniff and immediately scrunched his nose up and coughed as the fumes punched him in the face. "Oh god my nose," he whined and capped it again and set it aside.

"Well _yeah_. You hardly sniff soap, why would you think booze is any better?" Roxas laughed.

"Stupid me. I'll remember next time," the Carrier said and closed the refrigerator again. "Feel free to drink whatever. I'm not touching it anymore," he huffed. Roxas laughed to himself and went back to his bag to dig around for his toiletries to deposit them in the bathroom. Axel found a pile of pamphlets and flipped through them. "Apparently there's a casino a few blocks down," he said.

"Oh, yay. Look at us with our disposable income," the blonde said sarcastically. Axel shrugged and looked at the next one.

"There's room service if we don't want to sit in the restaurant."

"Can you eat anything here?"

"You can have my broccoli."

"Yuck."

"Or my carrots or whatever," the redhead amended and looked at the next one. "There's a sauna and massage area, a game room with table tennis and pool, actual outside tennis courts, basketball hoops, the swimming pool with adjacent hot tub and water slide, and a play area for all the children we have packed away in the bags."

"Ah yes, the stowaways," Roxas added without missing a beat.

"Also known as Sora," Axel said and the blonde laughed.

"I can imagine that, actually. And Riku's embarrassment."

"Yeah, I'd be a little embarrassed _for_ Riku," he said and set the pamphlets aside. The television guide was on the table next to lamp with the room service menu and the redhead flipped through it. "I think we should order a porno and see what we can see," the Carrier said.

"I don't even know how we're paying for it all, honestly. I would if I had some idea of what we do and don't have to pay for. If we have to worry about food, then I think the porno is secondary."

"Good point. Though I am curious."

"Me too."

"I think I'll give Luxord a ring and ask," Axel said and set the guide aside to go to the Home terminal.

"Don't mention the porn please," the blonde said and the Carrier laughed. He typed away at the computer for a moment to dial the Technician's room. He picked up after the first couple rings.

"Yeees'm?" he drawled with a smile, the spread of paperwork evidently taking up an entire bed behind him in the background. Axel smirked.

"It occurred to us that we don't know how we're paying for anything. Is everything on us?" the Carrier asked. Luxord held up a finger in a 'one moment please' fashion before going back to the papers and shuffling them around. He looked at a few before flinging them over his shoulder and continuing his search until he found the correct one. He went back to Axel and cleared his throat.

"It says here that you guys can run up a tab and Ansem will take care of it. But he will see the purchase log so if you're going to get completely shitfaced, drink everything in the mini bar first before ordering additional booze so he doesn't think you're a couple of raging alcoholics. That's what I'm doing anyway," he said with a sage nod. Axel laughed.

"Drinking already?"

"Of course! It makes paperwork more fun," Luxord said and reached off screen to pick up a glass with ice and some form of liquor in it to wiggle it at the redhead purposefully.

"Wonderful influence."

"Neither of you are children, I'm not that worried about it. My parental guidance wasn't requested, just my work ethic. So long as everything gets done correctly, it won't matter if I'm plastered or not."

"True enough, thanks," the redhead said and waved. Luxord waved back with a smile before the call was ended. The Carrier looked to his Charge. "Well that answers that."

"Not so sure I want Ansem aware of us watching porn together," Roxas said, fidgeting a bit. Axel shrugged.

"Well we have to order all the other channels on the TV too if we want to watch it so I'm not sure it gets real specific in _what_ we order other than 'television channels,' you know?"

"I guess…" the blonde trailed thoughtfully.

"Let's get one. Just to see."

* * *

For Riku and Sora, things were quiet. The brunette wanted to go swimming before anything else and was quick to dump his baggage onto one of the beds in search of his swim trunks. Riku had a pair of his own simply because his Charge insisted on them but he didn't think he'd actually use them ever. To him, Sora was overly excited about the pool, which was fine if it wasn't for the mass amounts of public they'd come in contact with. The Carrier really didn't want to be spat on again. But he put up a tough front for his Charge and allowed himself to be pulled along through the halls to the elevator, dressed in his swimming best with a towel on one arm.

The people in the halls gaped at him and whispered behind their backs as they threaded between the bodies together in the lobby. Sora ignored the looks and the mutters, holding his head high and squaring his shoulders confidently. After talking to Vexen and Xion, he refused to let that sort of oppression get to him. It was infuriating, and he hated it, but he wouldn't let it show. Riku was impressed, but not as confident. It made him happy his Charge cared enough to go through it all with him but he couldn't ignore it all as well.

The pool wasn't overly huge, but big enough to house the moderate amount of people in it. It was mostly young families in the water together, and the older folks stuck to the wide communal hot tub, but everyone noticed Sora and Riku instantly. An eerie silence fell over the entire area and everyone stared and tried to figure out what they wanted to do. Sora pulled Riku along to an empty pair of chairs along the wall and they deposited their towels and the brunette's sandals.

"Everyone's staring, Sora," Riku said quietly.

"So?" the brunette responded.

"Maybe we shouldn't disrupt them."

"If you didn't have your collar on, they wouldn't know the difference. It's easily ignorable. If they let it bother them, that's their problem."

"I know, but we should probably wait a few minutes before jumping in so we don't scare anyone," Riku said. Sora gave him a disheartened look before sighing a bit and taking a seat.

"Okay," he said flatly and leaned back, waiting for the people to act. The Carrier sat as well. Some of the people watched them for a few moments before the conversation picked up again as they whispered to one another. A couple families gathered their children up to leave as did some of the older people. One mother was leading her younger daughter out of the area with her arms full of pool toys. The little girl watched Riku and Sora closely until she was about to cross the doorway out of the area. She broke away from her mother and ran to them. She couldn't have been more than five years old.

"Um…" she trailed nervously as she ran up to the sitting pair. She hesitated a bit before tugging on the end of Riku's swim trunks for emphasis. The Carrier looked to her calmly. She gazed up at him curiously. "Are… are you really a Carrier?" she asked. Riku glanced at Sora briefly.

"Yes I am," he said to the girl. She scrunched her brows together confusedly.

"Well how come you're not hurting people?" she asked, and Riku blinked a few times. Sora scowled.

"Because I don't want to. It's not nice to hurt people," he said simply. She looked thoughtful.

"But momma says Carriers are bad because they hurt people and God doesn't love them. But…God's supposed t' love ever'body and you're not hurting anyone," she said. He was amazed at her perceptiveness.

"Well I don't know about God and how he feels but I know I don't hurt anyone and I'm at peace with myself for it," he said and leaned forward, balancing his elbows on his knees comfortably. He gave her a kind smile. She laughed a bit and smiled back, looking him straight in the eye and taking in their striking color. Riku doubted the girl had any idea of what a Carrier really was and was simply going by what her mother said, which was common. Word of mouth and rumors ran the human gossip infrastructure. The majority of the people that feared Carriers hardly knew anything about them but only did it to fit in, to be accepted. Riku didn't like being ridiculed but he understood it. He enjoyed the company of children more than their adult counterparts for the reasons the little girl was giving him now. Fearless curiosity, unbiased by the words and going by what they see. Which is the way it should have been from the beginning.

"You have pretty hair. Can I touch it?" she asked, reaching a hand out towards his face. Riku sat a bit straighter, pulling away just enough to get the message across.

"I don't think your mother would like that," he said, sounding a bit sad. Her expression fell. As if on cue the mother came bounding back into the pool area, her load of toys discarded elsewhere. She spotted the girl and ran to her with panic in her eyes.

"Emily! You were supposed to stay with me!" she chided and scooped the girl up quickly. "I told you it's very dangerous to be around… them," she said, casting Riku a slight glare. He folded his hands in his lap and looked to the floor. Sora watched the woman carefully. The girl fidgeted in her mother's arms and tried to get away.

"But momma he's not bad. He didn't hurt me," she protested and tried to pull to the side and hang over the mother's arm, reaching towards Riku. "He was gonna let me touch his hair, let me go!" she squeaked and pushed on her mother. The woman held steady and carted the girl away. After a few feet, Emily started screaming as she burst into tears, shoving at her mother and reaching back towards Riku and Sora. The Carrier's heart ached for the little girl and he let out a sigh. It wasn't until Emily's racket faded into the distance that Riku noticed the pool area was silent again and all eyes were on him. The murmuring returned after a few seconds with uttering's of 'pedophile' and 'disgusting.' Sora couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Come on," the brunette said and stood, gathering his things in his arms. Riku looked to him confusedly.

"What about swimming?" he asked. Sora shook his head.

"It isn't worth this bullshit. We have a pool at home we can swim in."

"You're sure?" the Carrier asked, standing with him and taking up his towel. Sora nodded and they headed for the doors. Riku was the first out but his Charge hesitated before sticking his head back in the doors.

"I hope you're all fucking happy," the brunette spat angrily at the staring public, the echo bouncing off the walls and down the hall. He left with Riku then, taking his hand and leading him towards the elevator. Once inside they let out a tandem breath as it started to rise.

"You didn't have to do that. You can always head back down with Roxas in a little bit," Riku offered. Sora shook his head.

"The point was to swim with _you_. I know I can ask Roxas, but I don't want to," he said, leaning against the Carrier a bit.

"I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault. I just wish things were different," the Charge said. A heavy silence fell over them both as their ride continued. They stepped out into their hall and headed for their room. Laughter filtered out of Roxas and Axel's door as they passed and they exchanged a look. They headed in their own room and got changed before Sora knocked on the door between the two. The laughter died for a few seconds before Roxas answered, his eyes and cheeks red and puffy and a wide grin across his face. He laughed a few more times before he could say anything.

"Yeah?" he giggled. Sora scrunched his brows together.

"What's so funny?" he asked. The blonde opened the door fully, ushering them in.

"Axel and I are watching a porno," Roxas laughed and headed towards the sitting area where he had left the Carrier. The redhead was holding his sides and had collapsed across the couch, his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth hanging open. He was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe and the only sound he was managing to make was a hoarse squeak from the back of his throat. He sucked in a sudden breath before he suffocated and pounded the couch with his fist a few times as his laughter started up again. Both he and his Charge were fully dressed and the atmosphere was completely unsexy. Sora was confused.

"Uhm, if we're bothering something we don't have to stay," the brunette said. Riku stood behind him, just as befuddled as his Charge.

"No dude, you have to see it. It's _terrible_ ," Roxas said and plunked back onto the available space on the couch. Sora shuffled across the carpet sheepishly. He didn't how he felt about watching porn with his brother but he couldn't deny his interest was piqued. He looked to the television where the movie had been paused and his mind was tossed into a whole new realm of confusion.

There were three actors; a woman, who admittedly, was relatively attractive and petite as well as two men. One of the men was normal looking enough but the _other_ one was hideous. His makeup had been done up in such a way he looked like a Neanderthal wearing a sheepskin rug for body hair. It was a cross between a pig, a sheepdog, and a person to Sora and he didn't really know what to say. The only reason he could tell he was supposed to be somewhat human was the fact that he had all his fingers and stood on two legs. Not only that but he was completely naked save for his abnormal body hair and the man's genitals were _massive._

"Well that's awkward," the brunette blurted. Roxas laughed a bit.

"It's supposed to be some weird fetish movie involving Carriers. The girl is apparently a really freaky person and she finds this guy who's a Charge and they invite his Carrier over for a threesome and then _that_ appeared and I peed a little," the blonde said, his laughter starting up again. Axel gasped for air and pushed himself up to sit properly. He took the edge of his shirt and dabbed at his eyes, the last of his giggles escaping him as he tried to catch his breath. "Are you okay?" Roxas asked, looking to the redhead. Axel nodded a bit, a wide smile on his face.

"I don't know if I can watch anymore, I think I might die," the Carrier said. "My favorite part is the girl's voice though. She sounds like a constipated children's choir."

"I'm sorry Ansem has to pay for it, honestly," the blonde said and started the movie again. Sora, far more curious than he needed to be, took a seat on the floor in front of the couch. Riku sat next to him, an apprehensive look on his face. The woman started talking and as soon as she uttered the first word, the sound of her voice raised a cacophony of instant laughter from everyone. She truly did sound like a constipated children's choir. A guttural and strange mix of squeakiness and hoarseness that was completely unappealing.


	88. Chapter 88

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Much like the Zemyx chapter, this one was written for AkuRoku day. It has nothing to do with the plot and can be skipped if you want.

**Chapter 88**

About an hour into the two hour long porno, Roxas decided that he wanted a drink. Axel had no objections. After the rest of the movie which was one long laugh fest for all involved, Riku and Sora left. That was around Roxas' third drink on his empty stomach and needless to say, he was a bit fuzzy. Before he could drink much more Axel ordered another television channel and plopped the blonde down in front of some colorful cartoons for him to be entranced by while he went to order some food. The series of very uncharacteristic giggles that filtered through the room forced a smile across his face.

"What do you want to eat?" the redhead asked, room service menu in hand. Roxas had draped himself over the edge of the couch on his back and was watching the cartoons run their antics upside down.

"Food is good. Though, anythin' but Styrofoam is pretty tasty," the blonde hiccupped. Axel smiled and nodded some, trusting his memory to remember what his Charge liked to eat specifically. He hadn't paid much attention to the menu in the cafeteria at the facility simply because he never needed to so he was working solely on what he had learned about the blonde over the years of watching him grow up. He couldn't remember much aside from the dislike of broccoli and a strange diversion from squash, but he felt relatively confident. The only thing he was a bit nervous about was the call itself. It wasn't like he was just picking up the phone and the restaurant staff were just going by his voice.

"Thanks for contacting Hotel 733's room service line what can I get y—Oh," a petite mousy girl deadpanned, hands up with a tiny writing tablet at the ready for his order. She had taken a moment to realize who was calling and when she did, she paled. Axel kept a sheepish posture with his eyes just barely peeking out from under his brows. His collar was clearly visible though and the girl stared at it.

"Uh, hello," the redhead said flatly. She blinked a few times.

"Hang on a second," she said before she set her tablet aside before heading off into the background. The room service line must have been its own separate section off from the kitchen because all he could really see was a blank wall and a door. Once she opened the door though, a barrage of kitchen noise filtered through. She stuck her head outside. "Frank! Are we feeding the Carriers?" she yelled. She waited a few minutes and when she didn't get a response, her posture sagged and she stepped outside properly. Axel waited several minutes before she came back in and took up her tiny tablet again. "Sorry, what can I get you?" she asked, sounding a bit annoyed.

"Well, I have kind of a strange request. How uhm…well…do you get your meat frozen? Or is it fresh?" he asked, trying to shrink down a little. He hated the looks people gave when he requested something raw. To his surprise though, she didn't bat an eye.

"It's frozen," she said without missing a beat.

"Oh. Well, is there… god this is weird, I'm sorry—"

"Do you need it raw?" she asked. He blinked a few times.

"Preferably?" he questioned, the awkwardness setting in.

"Okay, I can get them to defrost it for you. I assume you wanted the steak dinner then? Did you want me to just forget the vegetables and all that?" she asked, writing away quickly at her tablet.

"Uh, yeah. They'd just kind of be a waste," he said and looked over his shoulder to his Charge who was still giggling away. "I'm not so sure he could eat his own and mine, you know?" he said and looked back at the girl. She nodded a few times.

"How about I just substitute the foliage for another steak?"

"You can do that?"

"No, but I'm going to."

"Oh. That'd be cool, thanks," Axel said and smiled. She smiled back.

"Anything else?"

"Oh yeah, and a number…spaghetti, I forgot," he said, looking over the menu again.

"I know what you mean. A number spaghetti. Salad okay?"

"Yeah."

"Dressing?"

"…Surprise me? I have no idea," the redhead said. She smiled.

"Okay, a number spaghetti with salad and surprise me dressing, and a couple of steaks. Drinks?"

"Water's fine."

"Perfect, see you in a bit," she said and ended the call. Axel let out a breath. That was a bit easier than he had anticipated. He set the menu down and turned to the blonde who had righted himself and was sitting normally again. Roxas looked to him with pink cheeks and a smile.

"All done?" he asked. Axel nodded and the blonde giggled a bit and held his arms open expectantly. The Carrier went to him and sat on the couch. Roxas scooted over to him and threw himself into the redhead's lap and hugged his stomach. Axel draped an arm over him casually and watched a few minutes of nonsensical cartoons.

"Feeling okay?" the redhead asked. Roxas was beginning to smell like his alcohol a bit but it wasn't overpowering. The Carrier hoped the food came soon so he could possibly sober the blonde up a bit before he got out of control. If he got out of control. Axel couldn't decide. He was intrigued by the possibilities a drunk Roxas posed since it wasn't beer this time that was flying through his blood. Beer made him sleepy. Hard liquor made him stupid. Supposedly.

"Yep. Real okay," the blonde said with another giggle. Axel smirked a bit and rubbed his back some. Roxas nuzzled his face into the redhead's abdomen and let out a satisfied hum.

"Tell me if you feel sick?"

"I'll be okay. I've never _not_ made it to an appropriate place to barf before. I'm not to tha' point yet though. 'S okay."

"Good. Barf isn't sexy."

"I agree. I didn' know I was supposed to be sexy right now though. Thanks for lettin' me know," the blonde said and scrunched his brows together thoughtfully. Axel chuckled.

"You don't have to be."

"Well now what if I want t' be?'

"That's your own prerogative. I hadn't planned on anything until after we got some food in you."

"Ooo, food. Food is good."

"So I hear," the redhead said and laughed a bit.

"What's for food time?"

"You mean dinner?"

"Right. What time 's it?" the blonde questioned with a disgruntled face. He pushed himself up and looked around, trying to find a clock; which was comical because he had a perfectly good watch on his wrist he had apparently forgotten about. The redhead chuckled again and lifted his arm to look at the time.

"Almost eight. Late dinner," he said. Roxas pursed his lips and looked at his watch with a squint.

"Right," he confirmed and sat up again. "When was food supposed to get here?"

"'A bit' apparently. However long that is, I have no idea."

"Oh. Well that's disappointing."

"Yeah. Why? Are you bored?"

"Hungry more than bored."

"Well, there's a bunch of fuzzy colorful things on the television we can watch," Axel said and pointed to the aforementioned electronic device.

"You're a fuzzy colorful thing, I'd rather watch you," Roxas blurted. The redhead blinked a few times before he started laughing.

"I'm only a bit colorful, not like…" Axel trailed and looked to the television. There were a series of legless hairy multicolored balls bouncing around and carrying on a conversation about sharing and they confused him. "Whatever those are," he finished. Roxas scooted closer and ran his fingers through the redhead's hair.

"Red's a color," he defended. The Carrier looked to him.

"Very good, yes it is," he said with a slight grin. Roxas caught his face between his hands and ran his thumbs over his cheeks, looking him straight in the eye.

"Green's a color too."

"Yep," Axel agreed, trying not to laugh in the blonde's face. The conversation was a bit absurd to him, but was probably far more deep and meaningful to his Charge in his hazy state. He couldn't argue that the thoughtful curious face Roxas was making at him as he tried to come up for another line of defense for his 'Axel is colorful' argument wasn't cute though. The blonde rubbed his tattoos a bit with the tips of his thumbs.

"Purple's a color."

"I don't count that one, those are pretty small," Axel said with a smirk. Roxas pouted a bit and sat back, removing his hands from the redhead's face.

"Orange is a color," he said and it took Axel a minute to get what he was talking about.

"Ah, yes it is. I forgot about that part."

"I would say black and white are colors too but I heard somewhere that they weren't technically 'colors.' I think Pence said something about it once," the blonde said and scrunched his brows together. "Do… do you think I'll ever see them again?" he asked. The abrupt shift in conversation was a bit startling.

"You know you can't go back, Roxas," Axel said, his amused attitude completely trampled into the dirt. He pulled his legs under himself and folded them. He scooted around on the couch to face the blonde. Roxas thought about it for a moment.

"I know, but I meant like… do you think they'd ever be Charges?" he corrected.

"…I don't really have an answer for you. It could happen, I suppose. What do you think you would do if one of them showed up?" the Carrier asked, his brain immediately shifting to Olette in particular.

"I dunno, 's not like they'd remember me. It'd be weird to be all like 'hey! We grew up together!' when they wouldn't get it."

"Did you _want_ them to become Charges?"

"Maybe. I dunno. Like…I'd like to see them again and hang out, but it wouldn't be like it used to be so it'd be like making new friends all over again. If I could pick up right where I left off with them, that'd be different," the blonde said. Axel nodded his agreement. He could understand. He doubted any of Roxas' friends were in the system but they could always check when they returned home. There weren't any restrictions that kept the information secret. The most likely candidate to be in the system would be Olette. She was the most academic out of the blonde's friends and a Biology major at their school. Pence had been a good student but artistic academic and scientific academic were two different types. Same with Namine. Kairi was like Sora and undecided since it was their first year but she was eventually meant to become a teacher specializing in special education. And Hayner… was Hayner. If he was lucky to wake up at his alarm in the morning there was still only a fifty percent chance he would get to his classes.

"Well, we shouldn't worry about that. If it happens, it happens. But we don't have any way to check right now, so try not to dwell, okay?" Axel asked and reached forward to run his fingers through the golden locks and pet his Charge's cheek a little. Roxas nodded with a tiny sigh. Before their conversation could progress, there was a knock at their door. Axel leaned forward and gave his Charge a quick kiss before pushing off the couch to answer. It was the mousy room service girl, pushing a cart carrying their food.

"Room service for two?" she asked with a smile. Axel smiled back.

"Yeah, that was quick," he said and ushered her in. She wheeled the cart over to the sitting area where Roxas waved at her with a little too much enthusiasm and a smile that was too wide.

"Well when you don't have to cook the steak and you can just defrost it, it helps considerably. It was still twenty-five minutes though," she said and took a brief look around. She raised a brow at the cartoons but didn't say anything. She looked to Axel. "Just push the cart out next to the door when you're finished. Enjoy," she said and took her leave. He closed the door behind her gently before heading back to Roxas, who was rifling through the cart's contents. Axel pushed the coffee table closer to the couch so they could have a table before shooing the blonde away.

The meal was quiet save for the strange squeaking noises coming from the television every now and again and the sounds of chewing. Roxas practically inhaled his spaghetti and meatballs and adjoining salad. They had ended up dumping something similar to a vinaigrette on it but he didn't seem to mind whatever it was. Axel had no idea, that's for sure. He had had better steaks from other places before but the sheer size of them more than made up for the lack in quality. Having two of them was more than enough and he felt like curling up into a ball and taking a nap after he was finished. He had to take a minute to remember how to use silverware for them, but he was successful and felt mildly accomplished. Their dinners had come with two little pieces of chocolate which were deposited on the coffee table for Roxas to remember and eat later. Axel wheeled the cart outside the door and went back inside. He brushed his teeth before heading back to his Charge. Roxas slouched in his seat with a satisfied smile.

"Pretty okay?" Axel asked and plopped next to him. The blonde nodded quietly and leaned to the side and rested his head against the redhead's shoulder. The Carrier rested his head on top of the Charge's and closed his eyes. Things were quiet for a few minutes.

"Want to take a bath?" the blonde asked abruptly. The redhead opened his eyes again and blinked a few times.

"Uh, I guess? Are you going to fall asleep on me and drown?" he asked. Roxas shook his head and sat up.

"I hope not, that'd be kind of disappointing," he said with a small laugh. He leaned forward and took up one of the pieces of chocolate. He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I was going to offer the other one then I remembered you can't eat it."

"I could if I wanted a stomach ache," the redhead shrugged. Roxas pursed his lips a bit in thought before he unwrapped a piece and chewed it thoughtfully. He let a bit melt and linger on his tongue before he looked to Axel and motioned him closer. The Carrier leaned over curiously and the blonde cupped his face and pressed their lips together. It was innocent for all of three seconds before Roxas' parted and their tongues met. Axel got the idea quickly as soon as he was overwhelmed with a strong chocolate taste and he took his time savoring it. It didn't last very long, which was a bit disappointing, but he still had Roxas to taste so he wasn't too upset. They pulled away for a breath.

"Bath time?" the blonde asked, his cheeks a bit pink. Axel smiled.

"Sure," he agreed. They both shuffled off the couch and headed for the bathroom together. The jetted tub was huge and would take a while to fill up. Axel started the water and let it run. They would have more than enough room to sit together and enjoy the warmth and the Carrier was looking forward to a soak. He hadn't had a bathtub at his disposal in years. His apartment in Radiant Garden had one, but it was so small and shallow it was pretty much unusable. It would've been okay had he been Roxas' size, but he wasn't and it had been a bit upsetting.

The blonde took the opportunity while they were waiting to heft himself onto the counter and take a seat in between the sinks. He held his arms open for the redhead and Axel raised a brow before going to him. Roxas hugged him for a moment before pulling away and planting a soft kiss against his lips. Axel smiled before going back for another. And then another. And then another that lasted a bit longer. And again. And again. Roxas wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck on the last one and held him in place, parting his lips again and taking a small taste. Axel met him readily and suddenly everything else was irrelevant. So much so that they became so wrapped up in each other and ignored the bathtub. It wasn't until the bottoms of the redhead's feet were suddenly wet that he noticed they had been attached at the mouth for over thirty minutes. He broke away from the blonde and looked behind himself. The bathroom was flooding.

"Fuck!" Axel barked and launched himself across the room and switched the water off above the tub. He looked back to Roxas and the blonde burst into laughter. There was an enormous puddle that had soaked into the bath mats and wetted over half the floor. The redhead let out a sigh and reached into the tub and let some of the water drain. Roxas gently pushed himself off the counter so he wouldn't splash too much and went to rifle through the cabinets for the extra towels. Axel took the bath mats and wrung them out in the shower and hung them over the door to dry while Roxas laid out a carpet of towels. They cycled through the towels, Axel taking his time to wring them out thoroughly with his superior upper body strength so they could be used again and within fifteen minutes, the floor was reasonably dry again.

"Well that sort of killed the mood, didn't it?" the blonde snorted and started to pull his clothing off so the bathing process could begin. Axel sighed.

"Sorry, I should've paid more attention."

"Nah, it's okay. It'll make a good story for the grandkids. 'Well I was sucking face with your grandfather and then all of a sudden a pond happened in the middle of the bathroom.' We should take pictures."

"Of what? The rugs and the pile of towels?"

"Yeah sure, why not?"

"If you want to, sure," Axel said and reached hand into the tub to test the water. It was still reasonably warm but he let the drain open and take some of the lukewarm water away before replacing it with the hot. Roxas was disrobed first and quickly submerged himself up to his nose and waited. Axel followed and let out a sigh and stretched his limbs out comfortably.

"Where's the buttons? I wanna make this thing go," the blonde said and looked around for the controls for the jets that lined the sides. Axel looked around as well before discovering a tiny latch on the ledge that opened. There was a button inside and he pressed it and the tub sprang to life. Roxas let out a surprised yelp as he was pelted in the back. "Holy shit, I'm glad there's none of those on the bottom. I really don't need a geyser up my ass," he remarked, putting a hand in front of another one and feeling its strength. Axel laughed.

"Yeah that'd be uncomfortable," he said and relaxed back again. He reclined against the jets, letting him beat away the knots in his shoulders and neck, resting his head against the wall. He let his eyes drift closed and they both stayed silent and still for several minutes. Axel felt a hand slide over his thigh and he opened his eyes just as Roxas settled in next to him. The redhead raised an arm for him and laid it along the edge of the tub and the blonde tucked himself against his side and leaned back, using Axel's bicep as a pillow. Another fifteen minutes passed comfortably and quietly.

"I love you," the blonde said abruptly. Axel smiled and leaned over to kiss his hair.

"I love you too," he said. Roxas sat up a bit straighter and looked at him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Why? Did you have doubts?"

"Well, no…but I was thinking."

"About?" Axel questioned and lowered his arm back into the tub again. Roxas' hand on his thigh hadn't left and it gently ran over his skin under the water as the blonde thought for a moment.

"Mostly about our quota," he said, pulling a lip in between his teeth to chew on. He was referring to the quota of natural offspring they would need to produce from their program before they could earn a home together. A thousand tigers seemed a lot since they were working with less than four per litter, but in the grand scheme of things, it was just a drop in the bucket. The blonde was more concerned about the house at that moment though. A home for them both that they could remodel to have a bathtub that could occupy them both and they could relax for an hour a day if they chose to. A place where they could raise a family together and have company. It seemed so far away, and it was, but right then it seemed impossible. He knew he was asking for a lot, with only a little over two years into the project under his belt, but he was hoping he could be like Leon and Cloud and become successful enough to earn a house without needing to fill the quota first. Success. It was important to Roxas.

"I think about that a lot, too," Axel said. Roxas nodded his understanding. They watched each other for a minute, the air between them heavy with 'I wants' and 'I'd likes,' most of which ended with 'with yous.' They had talked over and over about their future together and none of it was new nor needing to be repeated; they both understood. The hand on Axel's thigh stopped and the thumb attached pet the same spot over and over. The redhead reached a hand up to cup the blonde's cheek and pull him forward. They rubbed noses for a brief second before they kissed again. They picked up where they left off when the bathroom had flooded.

Roxas took the opportunity to scoot himself into Axel's lap, straddling the redhead's legs and sitting on his thighs for the best vantage point for his lips. He threaded his fingers through the crimson strands, settling his arms on the Carrier's shoulders. Axel's hands wandered. They smoothed over the blonde's thighs and around to knead his rump a bit, eliciting a hum of approval from his counterpart. Over his sides, up his torso, around his collar bone and down his shoulders, the redhead's fingers traveled. One of Roxas' arms dropped between them, his fingertips tracing a line down the Carrier's chest and back into the water. Axel's breath hitched and the kissing became more fevered when he felt Roxas' hands on his rigid length. A ghosting touch, nothing much, but it was enough to get the idea across. They broke for air, panting at each other and looking through hazy eyes.

Axel shifted himself around under the blonde and managed to get his heel out of the water and land on the button to turn the jets off. Then he pulled the drain switch with his toes. The water started to recede and once that started, Roxas was on him again, sucking the air from his lungs. He reciprocated readily, his hands encircling the blonde and pulling them tight against one another. Roxas grew impatient after a moment of waiting and moved his hips, rubbing himself against Axel's arousal and his stomach. The redhead shuddered against his tongue in return before pulling away.

"Bed or here?" he questioned in a pant, the water had drained down to his waist. Roxas chewed on his lip for a second.

"Lube's in my bag near the bed."

"Damnit, okay," the redhead huffed impatiently. The blonde scooted off his lap and stood, stepping out of the bathtub and ignoring the towels in favor of walking into the bedroom and digging through his bag. Axel followed after him quickly. Roxas let out a frustrated growl when he couldn't find his prize fast enough and ended up picking the entire bag up and upending its contents onto the floor and throwing the bag over his shoulder. He shuffled through his things before finding the bottle and clambering onto the bed with the redhead. The comforter was damp from their lack of drying but it didn't matter because they'd use the other one to sleep in anyway. Roxas met his lover eagerly, crushing their lips together again and wrapping his limbs around the redhead's torso.

"You or me?" the redhead muttered between kisses, his words being partially slurred by the blonde's tongue.

"Me," Roxas said. "Because," a kiss, "I already got mine," another kiss, "on the plane," another kiss, "so it's your turn," he said. Axel had no objections and shuffled himself backwards with the blonde attached to him so they had more room. The hotel's bed was wider than their one at home and the one they had in Riku's ecosystem, giving them ample room to throw their limbs about without worrying about smacking into things or each other. Roxas dropped the bottle of lube in between them.

Axel took the initiative and broke their fervent kissing to bury is face into the blonde's neck. He hugged Roxas close and rocked his hips side to side before pushing up with his legs and rolling them both over so the blonde was underneath him. His Charge dropped to the bed and smiled up at him. Axel smiled back; taking in the blonde's flushed cheeks and the playful glint in his eyes. The redhead lowered himself onto Roxas gently and laid a trail of kisses across his chest. One hand went to a nipple and he pinched it gently, pulling at it to earn a slight gasp from the body beneath him. He wrapped his lips around the other and sucked gently. He pulled his legs up underneath himself so Roxas' hips were propped up against his knees. His free hand reached out and searched the comforter for the little lost bottle. He had to pull away from the blonde's nipple to find it.

He deposited a generous amount on his palm and tossed the bottle aside again. Roxas pushed himself up onto his elbows and caught the redhead's lips again as Axel's hands went between them again. He slathered them both in the slick liquid, ducking his fingers downward in between the blonde's cheeks and probing around gently. The blonde's breath hitched as the Carrier pressed a finger inward. He had come to find the blonde's lack of tension extremely arousing. They had finally gotten to the point where they were intimate so frequently that Roxas hardly needed any prepping. Sure, the loss of almost constant virginally tight sex was a bit of an upset but after some thought, Axel found that the alternative was better. It reminded him of how close they had become and that was the biggest thrill. The sex was never bad to him though, regardless of how loose his Charge became when the time came. And if they _desperately_ wanted to go back in time, tightness wise, they had the option of abstaining for a week or so to allow Roxas' body to adjust back. Or, Axel would take a turn.

Regardless, upon first entrance, Roxas always gave the best reactions. Axel pushed himself into his Charge, threading his member into the blonde's warmth as much as he could. Roxas broke their kiss to let his head fall back and he let out a small gasp which was quickly followed by a long guttural moan. His breathing sped up when the redhead was sheathed completely as his body got used to the feeling again. The beginnings were always odd, not matter how much sex he had. Axel kissed the sides of his neck gently, pecking away at his pulse and coaxing him to relax. After a lengthy exhale, Roxas shifted around a bit for some stability, propping himself up on one elbow and using his free hand to keep hold of the redhead's shoulder. Axel took that as the cue to move and he hooked the backs of Roxas' knees with the insides of his elbows and pressed his hands into the comforter on either side of his Charge.

Roxas didn't know when it had happened, but normally, his sexual escapades were quiet and kept relatively private. But ever since he and Axel had been together he had found himself becoming more and more vocal right along with the redhead. They held entire conversations through heavy panting, grunts and the occasional moan, telling each other the cues on what to do and how to do it. Sometimes actual discernable language was tossed in with a name but most of it was a soundboard of noises. He once had taken the time to try and remember all the sounds afterward to play them back in his mind to see how they would've sounded but all the conclusions he came to were the same. They probably sounded like a couple of animals rutting together.

Axel was always gentle in the beginning. Languid movements, allowing the optimum amount of comfort for the blonde, followed by the occasional kiss. Sometimes the entire session would stay that way until the redhead's knees would threaten to give out and he would have to finish quickly or be in serious pain afterward. Sometimes it was the opposite. Today was a gentle day though, he decided. After several minutes of tenderness he lowered one of the blonde's legs to the bed again to free up a hand. He took Roxas' member in his fingers and slowly stroked him, using his thumb to rub tiny circles on the underside. His lover grit his teeth and panted at him, allowing himself to drop back against the comforter.

"More," Roxas squeaked and pulled his legs back more so he could hang onto them himself to give Axel more leverage. The redhead shifted his weight around since he didn't have to worry about the blonde's anymore and thrust into him more, the pace still relatively slow but with more force. His hand worked Roxas' length more, using a tighter hold and the blonde let out a moan, his toes curling with the stimulation. Sweat beaded all over his body and mixed with Axel's. The redhead focused on his lover's flushed face with its panting mouth and half lidded eyes.

"Fuck, Roxas," the Carrier groaned and released the blonde from his grasp and used the hand for steadiness as his mind slowly forgot about the previous 'gentle' idea. The expression his Charge was giving him, one filled with lust and desire, was too much and his pace quickened. Roxas agreed with the movement and arched his back with a string of gasps and choked moans as Axel filled him. He let go of one of his legs to stroke himself, feeling climax on the edges of his periphery. The redhead readjusted his positioning again and kept going, the new angle making it just enough to scrape over the blonde's prostate. Roxas let out a loud unabashed moan with the sudden jolt of pleasure and his hand froze as ropes of white escaped him. He dropped back against the comforter with a shuddering sigh. Axel watched him for a moment.

"You didn't finish, why are you stopping?" Roxas asked between pants, pushing his brows together with concern.

"Giving you a second to catch your breath. And then I want to switch positions."

"Oh… well where am I going?"

"Um…over?" Axel asked sheepishly, his cheeks turning a bit pink. Roxas was hardly ever in a position where they couldn't see each other easily. Admittedly, Axel only liked the blonde on his knees because it was the easiest position to move in and the one that allowed the most access. He didn't like the loss of eye contact between them but at the very least he was satisfied enough to have seen Roxas' orgasm face already. The blonde's face ignited a bright red at the proposition to be flipped over on his stomach as he thought about it. It was a very vulnerable position after all. He consented though and scooted off the redhead's thighs and gently rolled over with his hips lifted off the comforter. His cheeks were practically glowing at the redhead and he rubbed them a bit, willing the redness to subside. Roxas' blush deepened.

"Axel…?" the blonde trailed, peeking over his shoulder at the Carrier. Axel blinked a few times.

"Oh, right, sorry," he sputtered and pushed himself up onto his knees. He rubbed his length between the abused cheeks for good measure before entering the blonde again gently. Roxas sucked in a breath in reflex before the redhead started to move again. Being able to see what he was doing and the extra leverage he gained from his vantage point, made things that much more stimulating for the redhead.

He took it slow again for the first few minutes before he sped up. He held onto the blonde's cheeks and spread them a bit with his thumbs to see. He slowed some to watch his Charge take him fully, the visuals rivaling the feelings themselves. He couldn't allow himself to get too carried away and fall into a trance so he purposefully stopped himself and kept going. He gripped the blonde's hips and pulled Roxas in to meet his thrusts, eliciting a string of a light moans per impact. The blonde gripped the comforter tightly as his body rocked with the bed. He tried his hardest to keep some semblance of eye contact with the redhead over his shoulder but it was too difficult and he eventually gave up.

Axel's movements grew uneven and erratic as climax inched into his nerves. He let go of his Charge and leaned over him, using the bed for support. Sweat dripped off his chin and pattered against Roxas' back. The blonde rested his forehead against his hands, squeezing his eyes closed and listening to the redhead's low grunts. The volume increased the closer Axel grew until he belted out a groan that shook the blonde's spine as he released. Roxas let out a sigh with a smile as the Carrier held in place until he was finished and leaned forward to lay his sweaty face against his back. He stayed there for a moment before pulling out of the blonde and rolling off to the side, landing on his back and staring at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath. Roxas ignored the mess he had created on himself and plopped onto the comforter with him.

"You smell," Roxas blurted, giving the redhead a smile. Axel sniffed loudly before pursing his lips and nodding a bit.

"Yep. I feel bad for housekeeping. Let's sleep with the window open," he said, looking to the blonde.

"You sure that's safe?"

"Roxas, we're six stories off the ground with no balconies. Unless some weird flying ninja tries to break in, we're fine. Besides the only thing worth stealing in here is you and I don't plan on letting that happen."

"Don't talk like you're not worth anything," Roxas said, giving the redhead a glare.

"But I'm only worth anything to you and you don't need to steal me to have me so I'm not worried," Axel said and smiled. Roxas scowled.

"That's not the point."

"Relax, I get it. I'm sorry. That's not what I meant," the redhead amended. The blonde didn't seem convinced and scooted closer to him and gave him a stern look.

"I don't like it when you talk down to yourself like that."

"I know, I'm sorry. Again," Axel said and ran his fingers through the blonde's hair. Roxas draped an arm over his chest and laid his face against him, ignoring the sweat. They lay together quietly, basking in the afterglow for a few minutes. Roxas heaved a heavy sigh.

"Okay, shower time before we fall asleep," he said. The Carrier chuckled.

"Agreed."


	89. Chapter 89

**Chapter 89**

Riku liked to think he was a pretty patient guy. But after several relatively sleepless nights, the stress of the public around them at the hotel, the lack of sex, his own constant mindless self pitying, and the way Sora teased him without even realizing it, hearing Axel and Roxas fuck around with each other for a while at two in the morning was taxing, to say the least. They had had sex once already, probably went to shower, but came back for another round in the bed which was only about fifty feet away from the door between their rooms. Not that any additional space was needed since they were howling at each other like a couple of horny wolves with their legs being cut off, but it would've probably helped a bit.

So there he was. Lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, with the least amount of clothing on as he could since he didn't want to make Sora feel awkward, uncovered, but still baking as if he was in the middle of an volcano, listening to Axel and Roxas go about their business. Sora, thankfully, was oblivious. He was sleeping away peacefully as he tended to do, which didn't help Riku any because he didn't have anyone to talk to in order to distract himself. The minutes ticked by and eventually, everything quieted. Riku let out a relieved sigh and tried to roll over and get comfortable.

The next morning was quiet. Riku had gotten a few hours of sleep, thankfully, and Axel and Roxas hadn't woken up by the time Sora did. The snowy Carrier stretched some when he felt his Charge stir and rolled over to greet him. The brunette sat up groggily and gave him a small smile before rubbing his face and yawning. Riku smiled back as genuinely as he could and Sora took it for what it was worth before scooting out of the bed and heading for the bathroom. He came back several minutes later and plopped back onto the mattress. Riku took a turn in the bathroom after him and did the same.

"I had a dream last night," Sora said as Riku shuffled under the covers with him again.

"A good one, I hope?" he asked. The brunette nodded.

"Kittens were involved. Well, cubs actually. It was you and me, and Axel and Roxas sitting together in the pens where they keep the natural offspring at home and there was like… a ball of kittens rolling around and being real cute. Tigers and snow leopards and… yeah, that was it I think. That's all I can remember anyway. That, and you looked really happy," Sora said quietly, his cheeks turning a bit pink and his fingers fiddling with a loose thread in the blanket. Riku smiled again and hugged a pillow to his face.

"That would make me very happy."

"I thought so. But, before I fell asleep last night I was thinking about other stuff that would make you happy and I realized that I don't really have an answer for it. It made me feel bad. You tell me you want me to stay and that's all you need, and I get it, I really do, but I don't feel like it's enough. I feel like I should be doing more," the brunette said and looked down at his hands.

"You don't have to work to make me happy, Sora. It actually makes me smile just knowing you have the desire to, but I'm being completely honest when I say that all I need is for you to stay," Riku said and sat up. He ran his fingers through his hair a few times to get it out of his face. "Anything else that you decide to do for me is all just extra baggage that I will welcome, but not demand. I like you for you, not for the things you can do for me. If all you did was sit around and talk to me, I can be happy."

"That's all I pretty much do already anyway," Sora said flatly.

"And that's all I need."

"But what do you _want_?"

"…That's sort of a loaded question, Sora."

"I know, but I want an answer to it."

"Well…" Riku trailed, pushing his brows together. He sighed a bit, not wanting to spill his guts and force the brunette to feel obligated for anything. "I want whatever you're willing to give me. I really don't feel like that's a question I can answer and get an honest return on it from you. If you're that determined to do excessive things then I don't want to dictate to them to you," he said. Sora's posture deflated a little.

"I'm trying. I don't feel I _have_ to though. I _want_ to. You're not going to give me a little guidance?"

"For my own peace of mind, I don't think I should. If I guilted you into doing something for me, it'd hurt more than it's worth. I really wish you'd just believe me when I say you don't have to work for it," Riku said and reached over and rubbed Sora's back a bit. The brunette made a thoughtful face with a heavy sigh before he looked to Riku again. He scooted across the mattress to the Carrier and leaned against him a bit.

"I do believe you, but it's hard to. Everyone wants something. I appreciate what you're trying to do but I really just want you to let me know."

"Of course I want things, but I'm not the kind of person to just blurt out whatever it is in the hopes that I get it. I keep an eye out for it and take it when I see the opportunity, but I don't expect other people to do it for me. Quite honestly…" he trailed with a small laugh. "I'm too old for that. Like I said, I'm happy with whatever it is you're willing to give me. I'll go along with it and take care of myself as I see fit. It's okay. Really."

"Alright fine," Sora sighed. He wasn't up for an argument at the moment though he felt far from satisfied. "So, for now we're just going to go by what I think, then? What I want?"

"We can. I have no problem with that. Did you have something in mind?"

"Maybe, but I can't really tell if it's okay or not," Sora said quietly, his cheeks igniting again and his lack of eye contact becoming overly obvious. Riku pursed his lips together thoughtfully.

"There isn't a whole lot you could do that wouldn't be 'okay' with me. Aside from doing hardcore drugs, selling yourself, murdering people, or abandoning me, I can't think of much."

"I figured that much but…" the brunette trailed as his blush darkened considerably, spreading across his entire face versus sticking to just his cheeks. "I miss the stuff we did together before I started being a jerk… a-and I don't expect you to feel okay with it after everything I put you through but I didn't—"

"Sora."

"—know if you were okay with it because you didn't seem like you were—"

"Sora."

"—and we didn't talk much about it but you don't even sleep the same way you used to before—"

"Sora."

"—and I'm worried I'm pushing too mu—" he stopped when his mouth was sealed by Riku's lips. The Carrier had received all the confirmation he needed and his excitement was bubbling under his skin. He hadn't realized Sora had missed their physical relations and he was more than willing to make up for all the lost time. Riku hadn't so much as kissed the brunette on the lips before that point for fear of scaring his Charge away. Hugging was about as much as he had gotten though he wanted so much more. He was ecstatic and held Sora's face in place for a few moments to get him to calm some before pulling away and running his thumbs over his Charge's cheeks with a wide smile that reached his eyes. Sora's face almost turned purple he was blushing so hard.

"Forgive me for sounding like a lecherous old man but I'm pretty sure that I'm _definitely_ okay with all of that. I was worried I'd make you feel odd if I pushed the subject so I let you come to your own conclusions, figuring it was for the best. I was wrong. Again. I apologize."

"We really need to work on our horrible communication issues."

"I agree. Are you alright though? You look like your blood is about to burst through your pores," Riku said, furrowing his brows a bit and letting go of his Charge's face. Sora nodded with a small laugh.

"Yeah sorry, I'm still not completely proficient at this," he said and rubbed the back of his neck. Riku's smile broadened.

"It's alright, we have time to adjust."

* * *

"What are you _doing_?" Roxas asked when he finally pulled his eyes open later that morning. Axel had been awake for almost an hour before and that gave him plenty of time to come up with weird thought processes that only he could really follow. It started with waking up and inhaling a noseful of the blonde's hair by accident. Then after he resisted the urge to sneeze all over said blonde, he watched the light stream through it and was amazed at the color. Then he remembered its weird shape. And that's what led him to try and figure out the cause. So he started sifting through Roxas' follicles with his fingertips, gently trying to determine how many cowlicks he actually had. He lost count.

"Checking for ticks," Axel responded, completely ignoring his train of logic in favor of the absurd explanation. He knew Roxas wouldn't be as fascinated with it as he was so he decided to not bother.

"You really don't have that much faith in the hotel's cleanliness?"

"I'm not talking lice type ticks. I'm talking actual ticks. I'm grooming you to show my affection, like apes do."

"Oh. Well, so long as you don't eat them like apes do, I'm alright with that."

"I'm already starving here. You're too clean."

"I like to think that's a good thing," Roxas said and rolled over to face the redhead. Axel grinned.

"I think it is. It means you don't smell. Well… don't smell _bad_ anyway. Though I am glad you don't have hair all over your body like apes do otherwise grooming you would take all damn day and I don't have that much patience."

"But I _do_ have hair all over my body."

"Yeah but not like _fur_ type hair."

"Peach fuzz is a type of fur. Don't be discriminatory."

"I don't, the ticks do. They don't bother with the peach fuzz."

"They don't bother with the fur at all I thought. They're in it for the skin and subsequently, the blood," Roxas said, rubbing at an eye with his finger.

"Tiny details, Roxas. Tiny details," Axel chided.

"Yeah well… those are important."

"The tiny detail I'm most concerned about right at this moment is your breath. Go brush your teeth."

"Yeah, I'm working on it," the blonde grunted and rolled over again. He groggily hauled himself out of the bed before making his way into the bathroom. Axel smiled to himself and burrowed under the pillows and blankets again, stretching out comfortably. He almost didn't want to leave the hotel though the desire to see his ecosystem said otherwise. Assuming Luxord was doing his job and pushing the proverbial pencil like he was supposed to, they would be leaving the next day. Supposedly. Possibly. Maybe. Axel contemplated this with mild seriousness before he smelled it.

Snow leopards. Or more specifically, one snow leopard that had exploded like a stink bomb in a high school garbage can. It wasn't overpowering, as it was a slight trickle from under the door from the next room over, but it was there and the message was clear. Axel's smile widened for his friend, happy that he could finally get back to normal with Sora. Riku deserved that much, he felt. He vaguely hoped they opened a window soon though. At the very least they needed to air the room out before it swamped into his and Roxas' completely.

"What're you smiling about?" the blonde asked when he came back to the bed, finding the redhead grinning from ear to ear into his pillow.

"You don't smell that?" Axel asked. Roxas took a light sniff with a curious face.

"…No. What is it?"

"Never mind. It's not as bad as I thought it was then."

"I'm not going to try and get back in the bed and you're going to try to Dutch oven me, are you? Because I'm pretty sure I'd have to kick you in the balls if you do," Roxas warned, leering at the covers suspiciously. Axel snorted before he started to laugh.

"No. I'm not."

"I fail to believe you."

"Roxas, if I was really the culprit I would've made it overly obvious. Farts are just too damn funny with you first wake up."

"True enough," the blonde said and scooted into the bed again cautiously. True to his word, Axel didn't try to gas him and they cuddled up together again comfortably. "So are you going to tell me what I was supposed to smell?"

"Riku."

"…Ew, okay. Never mind."

"See? Why do you think I was avoiding it?" Axel asked and nuzzled his face into his Charge's fascinating hair.

"I won't question it again," Roxas huffed.

* * *

"I'm afraid to get any closer to you. I fear I may lose a limb," Terra said as he watched in amazement as Ventus inhaled and entire plate of assorted breakfast items. Eggs, bacon, two pieces of toast, a cup of coffee, a cup of juice, and a bit of fruit salad disappeared before his very eyes in a matter of minutes and he was astounded. Just the night before, Ventus had been incapacitated, laying in the bed in a sickly stupor, groaning to himself and being miserable. The turn around was of miraculous proportions.

Ventus had stayed at Terra's home for the last few days, up in his guest room. The house itself was of moderate size, with a couple bathrooms and a few bedrooms, ample living space, and a small piece of land. The amenities were modest, a normal car, regular metal furniture, decent appliances and plumbing, and just enough decoration and homey clutter to make it seem lived in. Ventus was sure Terra could afford so much more than what he actually had, but he was happy he hadn't walked into an enormous mansion. That would've been a little too awkward. Terra live two domes over from Dome 813, and the entire ride there was tense for the blonde with the idea he might get his germs all over his friend's fancy sheets. The sheets were nice, but not anything special.

"Thorry," Ventus muttered around a mouthful of eggs. He stopped the shoveling motion he had started with his fork and set it down slowly and sat up properly. He chewed his food and wiped his mouth on his napkin before swallowing and folding his hands in his lap politely. Terra blinked a few times before a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He started to laugh and the color tinted the blonde's cheeks.

"Don't apologize. Eat as much as you like. I'm just glad you're feeling better," the Technician said. Ventus nodded a bit before he picked up his fork and started eating again. He had wasted away without sustenance for his entire stay and he was absolutely starved. So much so that he had forgotten his manners. Terra didn't mind though and went back to his tablet, reading the morning news.

"I really appreciate you helping me and keeping me company, and letting me eat your food, and using your bathtub, and… everything else. I still wish I had more to give you in return," Ventus said quietly.

"It's not a problem. I enjoyed your company. The house is too quiet sometimes with just me."

"I can imagine."

"Although I will say that this is the longest I've stayed here in a while. Usually I'm only here for a couple days a week and the rest of it is spent in hotels while I bounce around with work. It's nice to be in your own space."

"It sounds like it would b—" Ventus was interrupted by Terra's Catalogue terminal ringing, the echoing noise gliding through the halls and into the dining area where they were. The Technician excused himself, setting his tablet on the table and pushing out of his seat to answer. Ventus continued eating by himself, trying to be polite and not listen in on the conversation though he was insanely curious. He could hear quiet mutterings that were further distorted by the distance between the terminal and his chewing and couldn't make much of it. Once he was finished, he set his dishes in the kitchen and stood around waiting for Terra to come back. He was still feeling a bit sluggish, but he was still a far cry from where he had been the previous day.

"Ventus! Come back into the study please!" Terra called down the hall. The blonde scrunched his brows together and followed the sound as requested. He found the room easily enough and his eyes immediately went to Ansem on the Catalogue terminal's screen. He seemed rather calm.

"Yes?" Ventus asked, standing a bit straighter. Terra waved him over, closer to the terminal.

"Ansem has some news for you," the brunette said with a small smile. Ventus looked to the man on the screen expectantly. Ansem smiled as well.

"Everything is finalized for you, Ventus. You should expect a series of packages to be delivered to the feline facility in Dome 813 for you within the next week. Inside you'll find a tablet, your uniform, and the first cycle of the treatment for your HIV. Once it's cleared up you will enter stasis and will officially begin your training as a Charge. Are you excited?" he asked, his voice even toned and warm. Ventus' jaw nearly hit the floor and he gaped at the man for several minutes, making nonsensical squeaking noises with his unresponsive vocal cords.

"Rather speechless, isn't he? I'd say he's a bit excited," Terra quipped happily. Ansem chuckled.

"Indeed. He can move out of your home and into the facility at any time Terra. I appreciate you taking care of him. Thank you. I'll talk to you later," he said and the transmission was ended. Ventus looked to Terra confusedly.

"…What?" he questioned in his growing dumbfounded stupor.

"I told Ansem that I had known you for several years and you were actually living with me while you were at odds. If he had known you were actually living at the facility for all this time it probably wouldn't have ended well. I apologize if that makes things awkward at all. But I figured it's for the best," the brunette said. Ventus blinked a few times.

"I… yeah that's cool, thanks. Again. Thanks… for everything," he trailed quietly.

"Once again, it's no problem."

"I still wonder why you're doing all of this for me."

"We're friends aren't we?"

"Well yeah… but st—"

"Ventus, that's enough. I understand you're not used to being treated like another human being, but I'd really just like for you to accept it all at face value and don't look into it too much. For your own mentality's sake. I don't like it when you tell me I should expect something of you, because I don't need anything additional from you. Regardless of our relationship and whatever it becomes or remains, I still care enough to help you. It's really not all that much. I just did my job and opened my home to you. You make it sound like I'm proposing marriage and buying you a city," Terra said. Ventus chewed on a fingertip lightly in thought, his brows pushed together. His mind was a flutter with too much information and he couldn't fully process it all at once. He decided the easiest route would to take Terra at his word and not worry about it too much just yet. He heaved a heavy breath.

"Okay. I still don't feel it's entirely fair, but okay," the blonde said after a pause. Terra smiled and stepped to him and wrapped his strong arms around his friend in a firm embrace. Ventus hugged him back readily. They broke apart and the brunette's smile widened.

"So _are_ you excited?" he asked. Ventus blinked again a few times. He nodded.

"Yeah I am, I'm just… overwhelmed. I can't register it all just yet. It'll hit me in a bit but I feel a little light headed and weird. It's a good kind of weird though so I'm not worried," he said. Terra's hands were braced on Ventus' biceps and he could feel the skin give a few light tremors under his palms. He scowled a bit.

"You're sure you're feeling well enough? You're trembling…" he said, the worry making a crease in his brow. The blonde nodded again.

"Yeah, I do that sometimes. It's not the manliest habit I've developed," he pulled away from Terra and leaned against his desk for stability.

"Oh. What makes you do it?"

"Whenever I get scared. And… I'm a little scared."

"What? Why?" Terra asked, pushing his brows together again. He pulled his chair out from under the desk and took a seat, scooting closer to the blonde. Ventus took that as a cue to sit as well and pushed himself onto the desk's surface a few inches and let his feet dangle freely. He shrugged.

"It's one of those 'too good to be true' apprehension moments. Like, I've been at the facility for a few months and I know a lot of stuff, but it hasn't really been _real_ for me up until this point. I was sort of expecting nothing to come of it all and I'd end up on the streets in another six months. I'm happy I'm wrong but now it's like 'oh shit, can I really do this?' I don't know…it's weird. I'm weird. I never pretended to _not_ be weird," Ventus said with a wry smile as a hand went up to fiddle with one of his many piercings in his ears. "I just need a bit to process it all. I'll be okay."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah."

"I think you have confidence issues."

"I agree. Well, no, that's not entirely true. I'm pretty confident that I'm an awesome lay, but aside from that, I don't have much going for me."

"Don't put yourself down so readily."

"What? Being a decent lay is a good thing."

"That's not the point. You have a lot more personality than a mindless sex doll. If people weren't so greedy with what they pay for I'm sure you would've made just as much money sitting around and talking with your clients than you were having sex with them," Terra said, crossing his arms over his chest and reclining back in his seat. His face was serious and Ventus found it hard to hold eye contact. He settled for looking down at his hands and tracing the lines in his palm with a fingertip. There was an uneasy silence between them for several minutes as he tried to think of a response.

"I…" he trailed before he took a deep breath. "Thank you."

"I'm serious, you know."

"I know, that's why I'm thanking you. I don't necessarily agree, but it sounds nice."

"Is there anything I can do to help you feel better about yourself?"

"…Not that I can think of."

"I guess I'm on my own then."

"You don't have to do anything," Ventus said.

"Of course I do. I want to," Terra deflected. The blonde let out another heavy sigh and ran his hand through his hair with a small frown.

"God, why are you so damn nice to me? I'm serious. It's kind of creepy."

"Because I look forward to being friends for a long time? This is the only real opportunity I've come across to have a friend that doesn't up and die on me in eighty years. Forgive me for wanting it to last a bit longer. I didn't mean to creep you out."

"…You don't have any other friends? I find that hard to believe."

"I have a lot of acquaintances, a lot of co-workers, and a lot of companions, but no one to really call a 'friend.' My family members have long since passed away as have all of my original friends I had made before I became a Technician. It's hard to make new ones when you travel so much and most of the populace doesn't agree with your work. You're a unique case for me. You'll probably outlive me _and_ you like Carriers. You understand my schedule and yet you're still willing to see me and be patient. _And_ to top it all off, you're a _really_ nice person and we mesh well. Isn't that true? Or am I just naïve?"

"Would you get angry if I replaced 'naïve' with 'desperate'?" Ventus asked quietly. Terra immediately frowned.

"Yeah I'd be a bit insulted. I'm beginning to get the impression that you're not exactly okay with all of this. 'This' being us and whatever relationship we have."

"No, I'm okay with it but I'm still stuck in the mentality of 'he's just here for the sex so I should keep him at arm's length so I don't get attached' and that sort of thing. I'm completely aware of it all, the way I think and the way you think, but I purposefully don't dwell on it very much because I don't want to get hurt when you get bored of me."

"We haven't been around each other enough for me to determine if I'm going to get bored of you. Don't jump to conclusions. If anything, the infrequency of our time together would keep things fresh for a long time. And if you think I'm just in it for the sex, then let's stop. I'm okay with that too if it'll keep you around."

"Really?" Ventus asked, his skepticism obvious.

"Yes," Terra confirmed.

"But…what if I like the sex?" the blonde asked sheepishly, kicking his feet a bit to dissipate the awkwardness in himself. Terra chuckled under his breath.

"I don't have a problem with it continuing because I like it too, but you can't hold it against me."

"Yeah I suppose that's true," the blonde agreed with a small smile. "But if we continue, then that brings up a whole new battery of questions. Like… what about my Carrier?"

"That's a while from now and I'm pretty sure we can figure out a plan in twenty years. Neither of us is that dense. I plan on making her a friend of mine as well when the time comes and maybe if she's around you enough she'll adapt your mentality and would be okay with it anyway. It's _way_ too early to assume the worst. At the very least I know we can remain friends. The sex is an added bonus, but it's not a necessity for me."

"True. Do you—Hmm…" Ventus hummed thoughtfully. His mental machinery worked away to try and come up with a way to word his question without coming off as a gutter skank. It didn't work very well and he opted to just blurt it out and hope for the best. "Would you feel weird like… including her too if she was okay with it?"

"…Are you offering your Carrier to me?" Terra asked, raising a perplexed brow high on his forehead.

"Yeah? I mean I'd go about making sure she was a hundred percent about it before we attempted anything but there wouldn't be any point if you thought having a Carrier like that is gross or whatever…" Ventus said, watching the brunette carefully. When he hesitated to answer the blonde quickly tried to cover his tracks and pull all the words back into his throat. "I-I mean it'd be cool if you weren't but if it works and we're still okay in twenty years I wouldn't have a problem with it and—"

"Ventus."

"…Yeah?"

"It's illegal for me to sleep with a Carrier."

"Yeah I know…but if we were all on the same page, who would tell? If nothing was being hurt, I don't see a problem."

"Even if that was true, I think you should wait and see how attached you two become before you jump into something like this. I'm not disgusted by the idea, but I'm apprehensive because of the legality issues there. But it's no use worrying about it right now. I'll keep it on the back burner until she matures and we'll see how it goes from there."

"Okay… sorry. I feel really weird for asking that but I've thought about it. She's cute though. Have you seen her?"

"You've shown me already, yes," Terra said with a small smile.

"Oh. Right. I remember now. Sorry."

"You apologize too much."

"Well it's warranted. I should remember these things and not ask weird questions that make me sound like a whore."

"It's not a weird question, actually. It'll have to come to pass eventually, it's just a bit too soon for it is all."

"I like to know where my chips lay so I tend to jump the gun on stuff sometimes."

"Everyone does that, no worries," Terra said and stood from his chair. He stretched a bit and yawned. "Did you get enough breakfast?" he asked. Ventus nodded.

"Yeah, it was good. Thanks. Again. And again. And again," he said and laughed a little. Terra smiled.

"No problem."

* * *

Two days passed. Ventus returned back to the facility while work resumed for Terra. No one asked where he had been though they all noticed. He was thankful for it; he didn't need any more reasons to feel weird. Life continued on normally as his studies picked up and he did what he could to help with the lab maintenance. Leon and Cloud still checked in regularly, but their visits were shorter with the blonde's return.

For Axel and Roxas, the remainder of their stay at the hotel was pleasurable. They didn't purchase any more strange pornography and opted to watch the news whenever they pulled themselves away from the bed, bathtub, and each other. Riku and Sora never did go back to the pool together and they were alright with it. They did indeed have a pool of their own at home to swim in and it could wait. Both pairs, however, didn't make any friends with the housekeeping staff. They all received many an angry look whenever the staff came in to change the sheets. Roxas and Axel thought it comical. Riku and Sora simply shuffled their feet and looked at the floor, feeling a bit put off. Their relationship was on the mend, but it was far from perfect yet. They didn't have the sexual confidence the other two had created and almost felt ashamed for so much activity, but it wasn't a deterrent, which was a good sign.

"Ready to go?" Luxord chirped brightly when he burst into Axel and Roxas' room. The pair were busying themselves repacking everything and were almost finished. The Technician took in their progress and strode through the door in the dividing wall into Riku and Sora's room. They were packed already and sitting quietly together. "Splendid!" the man said while stroking his goatee with a smile.

Checkout was a slow process. Luxord had a pile of papers he had to sift through to find all the proper permits for Axel and Riku's release into general society. While he did that, Roxas dug through his carry-on bag for Axel's collar. The redhead made a series of grumpy faces as it was affixed around his neck again. Roxas had to smirk a bit. Riku and Sora milled about together, holding hands and being comfortable. The lobby was quiet as the people avoided them. That is, until there was a particularly happy squeal from a very small, child-like person. Riku ignored it, figuring it didn't concern him until he felt a sudden weight plow into his legs and knock him off balance a bit. He startled and looked behind himself to find Emily attached to the back of his knee with a wide smile. He didn't know how he should react.

"Hi again," he said after a bit of hesitation. He attempted a smile. "Does your mother know you're here?"

"She's over there," Emily said and pointed across the lobby where her mother was standing by the elevator. The woman didn't look entirely pleased, but she stood her ground, watching carefully. The girl let go of his leg and skittered around to his front and looked up at him expectantly. They stared at one another for a moment before she extended her arms upwards and bounced on her toes a little. "Pick me up!" she said with an excited giggle. Riku blinked and looked to her mother. The woman gave him an unhappy shrug, showing her feigned indifference to the situation. The Carrier looked to Sora, who gave a genuine shrug in confusion.

Riku stooped and hoisted the girl upwards by her armpits and settled her on his forearm like a seat. She was grinning from ear to ear and she let out a tiny squeal as her hands immediately went for his hair. Her mouth fell open in amazement as she let the silvery strands fall through her fingers. She petted him over the sides of his head, pulled handfuls of hair up like pigtails, and moved it over his face several different ways. She let him go and gave him a scrutinizing look before reaching out and feeling his features. He blinked a few times, his polite smile faltering a bit as her hands squished his face around some. Once satisfied, she sat back in his arms comfortably and gave a sage nod.

"I think God loves you too. You're just like reg'lar people so I dunno if he notices the difference," she concluded. Riku smiled again.

"I appreciate that," he said and she grinned again. He noticed Axel watching them from over Emily's shoulder and he turned enough to get her to notice him. He pointed to the redhead. "What about him?" he asked and Axel blinked a few times, raising a brow. Emily gaped at him.

"He's so big!" she squealed happily, her arms immediately reaching out towards the redhead. Axel froze, the uncertainty clearly written across his face. Roxas nudged him gently and he remembered to start breathing again. The redhead looked to the mother again who seemed more apprehensive about him than Riku but she didn't protest, though it was obvious she was forcing herself. The snowy Carrier stepped to his friend and Emily clamped a hand onto Axel's sleeve and started to pull herself over to him. Before she could flop out of Riku's arms he took her and settled her on his hip. She stared at him with wide eyes.

"Hi," Axel said, trying his best to smile and not look threatening.

"Can I touch your hair?" she blurted immediately. The redhead blinked a few times before nodding deftly. She giggled before her fingers dove into the strands and she combed them through her fingers. He shifted her around so she faced him fully, sitting on his arms comfortably. She was more than happy to get all of her fingers tangled in his hair and she repeated much of the same actions she had done with Riku's. She got a good laugh when she tried to pull his hair up into pigtails and they stood up like disjointed horns on the crown of his head. Roxas got a snort out of it too but Axel forgave him. She poked at his face, taking extra time to pet his tattoos a bit before she sat back, satisfied. She nodded and looked to Riku knowingly. "Him too," she said. Riku smiled.

"Good to hear," he said. The conversation died a bit as Emily poked at Axel's collar some. The lobby was completely silent as the other patrons had stopped and were watching the group carefully. There were a lot of confused faces and questioning looks sent the mother's way. The woman ignored them though and crossed the room to the Carriers with a confident stride. Axel shifted Emily around so she sat on his hip again and she immediately laid her head against his shoulder and watched her mother approach. The woman held out her hands for the girl and Axel handed her over with mild reluctance. Emily hugged her mother around the neck and settled against her.

"Thank you," the mother said, glancing at both Carriers in turn.

"What for?" Axel asked.

"For proving me wrong."


	90. Chapter 90

**Chapter 90**

"Roxas?"

"Axel?"

"I need you to do something for me."

"Okay."

"I need you to get a sex change for like… a year," the redhead said simply. Roxas was in the middle of pulling a mouthful of water from a bottle and he inhaled most of it in his surprise. He sputtered and spit half of what wasn't in his windpipe out onto the plane's carpeting in front of him before the coughing set in. The Carrier watched him carefully as the blonde's face turned bright red and he choked on the air he was attempting to retrieve.

" _What_?" the blonde hacked. Axel patted his back with a wide smile that scared him. He couldn't tell if the Carrier was serious or not. He continued coughing for several minutes.

"Yeah. I want you to have a sex change so we can squeeze out fifteen thousand babies that we can raise together and hopefully they turn out like that little girl at the hotel."

"You're _still_ thinking about her? It's been like… five hours," Roxas said, raising his brows a bit and clearing his throat several times. Axel grinned and nodded excitedly.

"You don't understand the novelty. It made me really happy."

"It also caused your maternal instincts to blindside me, you know. I really hope you weren't serious."

"You wouldn't get a sex change for a year so we could have babies normally? Not even if I asked real nice?"

"Uh, no. We can have babies but they aren't coming out of me. And what do you mean 'for a year'? Don't tell me that shit isn't permanent."

"Oh it is. But nothing's saying you can't put your junk in storage and reattach it later. They actually do that. They keep the original genitals in storage for a year to give people a chance to see what they think and if it was the right decision. For women it's their womb and ovaries and for guys it's all the stuff outside. With so many advances in synthetic skin they don't need the excess and just… hack it off."

"…That's awful. Stop it, you're making me queasy."

"But don't you want our children to have bellybuttons?" Axel asked with wide doe eyes. Roxas looked at him confusedly.

"Bellybuttons?"

"Right. The process of making same sex children is essentially the same as when we make babies for the Carrier Program. The human children we make in that don't have bellybuttons because they're not attached to a womb. When two women get together to have kids one of them can carry the embryo if they want and then they get bellybuttons but two guys can't do that unless one of them gets a sex change for a bit," the redhead explained casually. Roxas furrowed his brows together.

"So like…all the little kids running around without bellybuttons are the ones with two dads?"

"Yeah."

"Damn. Way to be labeled from birth."

"Well there are some outliers of course. The two ladies could've opted to not carry their child, or they could surgically put in a bellybutton for aesthetic reasons, or a heterosexual couple couldn't conceive normally so they opted for the gestational chamber route instead of invitro to reduce the risks. There's a plethora of different reasons why someone wouldn't have a bellybutton but people usually assume that the child came from two men because it's the most common reason anyway."

"Huh. Weird. I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"Are the lack of bellybuttons a deterrent?" the redhead asked. Roxas shrugged.

"Part of me remembers the way I used to be and how much torture it was to keep myself in check and deny anything homosexual about myself. Not that we'd automatically make a genetically gay child together just because of who we are but that label would always be there and there's no way I'd wish that on any child of mine. The other part of me says 'tough shit the kid should be proud of where it came from' but society wouldn't be so gentle, you know? I can't really dwell on it much because that's a _long_ way away but it's some food for thought. Regardless, I want kids. We can deal with the problems when we're presented with them," the blonde explained.

Axel's smile broadened and he grabbed his lover and forcibly squashed him into his chest. Roxas let out a yelp and tried to regain his composure but the redhead turned sideways and slouched in his seat, wrapping his limbs around the struggling blonde and pulling him down with him. He rocked the Charge side-to-side in his death grip love smother until he felt relatively satisfied and released him. Roxas sucked in a deep breath through a squeaky windpipe and tried to sit up again through the tangle of legs but the redhead kept him in place. He gave up easily and lay on the Carrier, catching his breath.

"I love you so much, you're amazing," Axel said and pulled the blonde up so he could bury his face in the golden hairs lovingly. Roxas pushed himself up so they were face to face. The redhead smiled and laid a tender kiss on his lips and smoothed a hand through his hair.

"Aaah, yes. The navel discussion," Luxord chimed from behind them, folding his arms on the backs of their seats and peering down at them with interest. Roxas' cheeks pinkened a bit but he didn't move away from the redhead. He had forgotten they were still on the plane heading for Axel's ecosystem. The flight itself was nearly over and had been relatively eventless before that point. Riku and Sora were across the way in their deserted First Class cabin, sleeping peacefully together. They had received an almost identical greeting from the patrons of their flight as they did from the others the first time around, but they were expecting it and it was less upsetting.

"You've had this talk before?" Axel asked, raising a brow at the Technician. Luxord nodded with pursed lips and a thoughtful face. "With who?"

"My old man, actually. Now, I'm not gay. I'm actually sort of addicted to women like I'm addicted to booze but I have a lot of friends that are gay and my old man wasn't having any of it. He said to me one day: 'Lux, you really need to stop hanging around those fags with their fag kids and their fag families. They's not natural. They don't even have bellybuttons!' like that matters or something completely idiotic like that. Personally, I don't think it matters until the kid gets naked in front of someone and by that point I would hope that the other party would be aware of his parents and it wouldn't matter."

"Very true. What did you do when your dad said all that, though?" Roxas asked.

"I punched him and left. Never went back. There was probably more to it than that but I don't remember much."

"Really long time ago?" the redhead asked.

"Nah, I was shitfaced."

"…Comforting. You're not worried about liver damage? You know that even if you do stasis treatments it won't matter if you get liver cancer. You're going to kill yourself."

"I don't do stasis. I never intend to, either."

"Really? How old are you?" Roxas asked.

"Thirty-two."

"Wow. How long have you been a Technician then?"

"Mmm," Luxord hummed, tapping on his chin thoughtfully with a slight squint in his eye. "About four years? Yeah, it's around there. I was a chemical engineer before this. Got fired for showing up to work drunk off my gourd, though. That was actually a pretty fun day all things considered."

"That doesn't worry you?" the Charge persisted, the confusion setting in. Luxord shrugged and shook his head.

"Rox, we only have one life. Regardless of how much we try to stretch it out and make it last, it's still just one. I would like to live mine the way I want to, doing what I want, how I like to do it. I don't bother anyone else, and I get my work done, which is why I still have this job. I learned my lesson with the last one and I'm more careful, but I still do it all on my terms. I think it's of greater worth to live a shorter life, and live it happily, than to live a long life being too cautious and stifling yourself because of it."

"I can see your point but you're going to kill yourself if you drink like that all the time. I've sure you're aware of that but it's not exactly the nicest way to die. It doesn't matter how many years away it is."

"I drink, but I'm not that over the top. I've been sober since yesterday and I won't be able to touch any booze until after we're done at the ecosystem. I can live with out it, and I know a lot of alcoholics say that, but for me it's totally true. My line of work, though flexible, really puts a damper on my drinking habit because I'm away from it so much. Don't worry about it," Luxord assured with a low chuckle. He looked to Axel, who was watching him carefully. He pointed to Roxas. "He's cute," the Technician said.

"I know, right?" the redhead said with a wide grin. Roxas gave him an indignant huff which prompted the Carrier to run his fingers through his hair again. Luxord smiled and went back to his seat towards the back of the cabin.

* * *

Everyone has a story. A reason for why they are the way they are. Some of the greatest mysteries of the human mind can be solved by stopping and taking a moment to analyze the past. Luxord drank because he enjoyed it and had friends that weren't the greatest influences early on in his life. Roxas had problems with his sexuality because of his religious and conservative parents. Axel had problems with his confidence because of society's mistreatment. Riku had problems with abandonment because of Jasmine and his other Charges. Sora had problems with acceptance because he never really ever found his niche in life. The solutions have yet to be truly discovered, and admittedly, they are the hardest parts of life to overcome. Sometimes, there isn't a need for a true solution though, so much as there is a need for an adaptation. Such was not the case with Saïx's story. He was more of a problem than he cared to admit.

His problem wasn't being a Carrier, nor being a Technician. His body, his physical self was rather stable and he never had any severe health problems before. Of course, living over sixteen hundred years earned him several injuries, but they were never anything that impeded on his life very much once they healed. Aside from his obvious facial scarring, he had hardly a mark on him, which was fortunate. His work was steady, efficient, though his methodology could use some adjustment. For many years he lived without a problem.

After Axel discovered him, he had returned to his lavish home and reflected on his mistake. He shouldn't have gotten overly confident with his successful hunt of nx14 and her kin. He let his guard down and he was paying for it. Again. Not that he felt legitimately threatened because really, it was more Ansem's problem than it was his. The media storm and the damage control wasn't his concern. It never was in the past, and he wasn't about it let it start anytime soon.

The only issue he had being home without anything to do was the amount of memories the walls held. The massive building had more than a dozen bedrooms, fifteen bathrooms, an enormous meeting hall that doubled as a dining room that could house the entire Committee, a smaller dining room outside the professional grade kitchen, four different media centers and living spaces primed for his immediate entertainment, a formal ballroom for important galas, a monster of a library with thousands of books, and adjacent to that, two studies. One for Saïx. One for Xemnas.

The walls were cold and empty. Not for a lack of decoration or anything, but the amount of dust that had accumulated since Xemnas' death. The entire house was virtually deserted and unusable because of the lack of upkeep Saïx had kept on it. When Xemnas was alive, they had had a full staff of people that would come in and take care of things for them and several of the bedrooms were used for their housing because of it. Once he died though, all of the money was halted and their personal accounts flew open for close scrutiny of where every Credit came from. It didn't take long before Saïx was left with nothing but what he earned as a Technician, which, wasn't much compared to what they had previously. All of the staff left, the house itself fell into disuse aside from a few rooms, and the utilities were slashed to what Saïx could afford to use by himself.

Once a Carrier's Charge dies or they become separated in some way the Carrier, theoretically, is supposed to return to the facility where everything will be provided for them again by the project. Their income stops coming in, and they only hang onto what they had accumulated during the years the Charge was alive. Saïx had become a Technician over a thousand years ago so he had gotten used to having two sources of income. Then there was Xemnas' income from his Technician paycheck and the disciplinary system he had created, not to mention their joint efforts from the underground market system that raked in _billions_ of Credits for them over the years.

But, all of that was over for the most part. Saïx was on his own, without a Charge, for the first time in over fifteen hundred years. He hadn't grieved, he hadn't broken apart, he hadn't mourned, he didn't cry, he simply felt… empty. Life continued on as it normally did, but with an extra layer of dust and less money in the bank. He still didn't have many friends, he still didn't have many visitors, he still didn't have relationships, nothing changed.

Saïx felt that the relationships he saw between other Carriers and their Charges were anomalies. He and Xemnas never had a relationship like that. They were attached through similar goals and work but nothing else. They lived together because it was expected, but their bedrooms were on opposite ends of the house and they had their own spaces. They were friends to a certain extent, and they could trust one another but outside of that and their working relationship, there was nothing. Saïx stayed to himself while Xemnas went out and became Mr. Socialite.

Xemnas was the one who got the plans together and Saïx was the one to execute them. Regardless of the situation, legal or otherwise, it was Xemnas first, then Saïx second. Xemnas was the meticulous planner with marvelous people skills and a manipulative personality to match. Saïx was a firecracker with a sense of determination that was as hard as diamonds. It was a combination that they kept quiet. Their dealings in illegal venues were so hush-hush, only they and their dealers knew about it. Anyone else who found out usually disappeared and were sometimes found dead in an ecosystem after their innards had been crushed by what _seemed_ to be a giant snake. But it was always a snake appropriate habitat so no one questioned it. Convenient.

Now, Saïx had to plan for himself, something that was new. It didn't seem all that hard to do and he had already gone out on a couple poachings by himself and everything went fine. The last one he and Xemnas did together had pertained to a small group of lions that had set them on easy street for almost a year straight. Even after that money ran out, Xemnas was already knee-deep in his drug experiments that it was only a matter of weeks before they wouldn't need to work again for a decade. Well, that didn't end so well and it was back to square one. Saïx would never understand the extreme amount of irony that surrounded Xemnas' death.

He spent his days on suspension much like he spent most of his free time at home. Sitting around by himself and being anti-social. He kept to the library, rereading the books he had finished years ago and refreshing his memory on them. After the first book, he scoured the shelves for another. He enjoyed the way the paper and the pages felt under his fingers as he unfolded hundred of stories; the musty smell they got from sitting on the shelves for so many years and the satisfying crack of the bindings. Electronic books didn't hold the same appeal for him. His search led him towards his study and he settled for trying to find something in there. He kept only a few, very very old tomes in his study, locked away for safe keeping. Next to those though, were his trophies.

His trophies were insignificant to anyone else but himself. Xemnas had appreciated them to a certain extent, but again, he wasn't there. They were technically photo albums, the pages of which contained tiny pieces of what looked like trash. Under the clear plastic were labels, and above the labels were various pieces from Saïx's hunts. A lion's whisker, a bear claw, a cobra fang, a scale from a tortoise shell, a piece of horn from a rhinoceros, bird feathers, rabbit ears, mouse tails, pieces of skin, tails, hundred of specimens that had been dried and closed in a book for safekeeping and reminiscing. The only identification of what they were being the number of the dome that the Carriers had come from. Saïx didn't keep trophies from natural offspring, just the Carriers.

He had a strange fascination with the feeling of power he had after a successful hunt. It was bordering on the edge of perversion on some occasions. There had been times where he and Xemnas would hunt together and the entire experience was so life threateningly dangerous that they would both need to find a woman to bed before the day was over just to rid themselves of the excess adrenaline. Being charged by a herd of rhinos tended to add a lot of panic to an otherwise orderly hunt, but the thrill of coming out of alive was the best feeling he could ever hope for. A natural high. He was addicted to it, if he had to be honest with himself.

It wasn't always like that though. Well, the high had always been there, but it didn't start out like a drug habit for him. It had come up in conversation between him and Xemnas when they decided they needed another source of income after their project was essentially complete and could run itself. Something to take trips and have fun with. It was before they became Technicians and they were only living off their project income at the time. Poaching was on the rise at the time and the talk of money swallowed them easily. They started small with birds and rodents during their stays in Saïx's ecosystem. They were able to visit more frequently without their project deadlines to worry about but it wasn't until they became Technicians that they had access to more information and they could handle bigger prey.

They made connections over the years with various poaching groups and were in business relatively quickly. The need to hunt became less and less as the money rolled in under the guise of successful research results. Ansem had absolutely no idea. The Carrier Project as a whole had grown so much that he had to put his trust in his colleagues completely and couldn't keep close watch over every detail. Saïx and Xemnas' lifestyle together grew and grew until they were just as powerful and as influential as Ansem. The system changed to divvy up the responsibilities and the modern way of doing things was born. Saïx to the ecosystems, Xemnas to disciplinary actions and internal affairs, and Ansem to handle the Carriers and projects themselves.

It eventually became such an integral part of their lives that they had grown an attitude of superiority over the other Carriers. They shared such similar mindsets that neither of them saw each other as a Carrier or Charge anymore except for a few times a month when Saïx needed his checkups. All the other times, they were better, stronger, superior. Humans and Carriers feared and respected them and it was intoxicating. Saïx never saw a problem with any of it and hiding his Carrier side became second nature. The few occasions he was discovered never hurt anything in the long run and things fell back into place.

This time though, Saïx didn't have Xemnas to help him. Ansem wasn't completely ignorant to their accounts anymore and he was furious.

* * *

"Don't slobber on the windows, Ax," Luxord chided from the drivers seat when the redhead launched himself across the car to look out the window at his environment. They had landed several hours before and had driven to Axel's ecosystem dome peacefully. The prey the redhead would be hunting was still a mystery to them and the closer they came to the camp, the more anxious everyone became. Axel bounced in his seat excitedly as the vehicle weaved between trees and jostled over imperfections in the path. Roxas could hardly pay attention to the nature around him as he was trying to ignore his queasiness from being thrown around. Sora and Riku were having similar difficulties.

When the car stopped, the first thing Roxas noticed about their new surroundings was how dark everything was. The thick canopy overhead blotted out the sun with a mixture of leaves, branches, and vines. The ropey tree trunks descended to the ground like massive pillars holding the prismatic green heavens up, their rough frames covered in countless lichens and insects. The tropical plants and flowers littered the branches overhead and the ground down below. Yellows, oranges, and reds dotted the surrounding area in the sparse patches of sunlight. Countless bugs flittered through the air and it made Roxas scowl at them. He could already feel their legs on him.

Their camp was somewhat similar to the one at Riku's ecosystem with two buildings in a tiny cluster up on a small hill in a clearing; the larger of the two being the housing cabin supposedly. The only other difference this time was that there was another vehicle there already when they pulled up and there were people outside. There was a woman with a child. She was bent at the waist and holding the child up by her hands as the wobbly burgeoning toddler stood on jiggly legs. A few feet in front of the pair was an Indian Blue Peacock with its colorful tail up and spread out like an enormous fan for the child to see.

"Axel, I think we know that bird," Roxas said, squinting over the seat in front of him to get a better look. The redhead mimicked his action, taking in the trio ahead of them. As they grew closer, the blonde could see Celia clearly and he gaped a bit. She was the last person he had expected to see. Axel snapped his fingers at a sudden revelation.

"It's Pinky!" he said. The blonde frowned a bit.

"Pinky? It's Marluxia."

"Right," Axel agreed with a grin. Roxas smacked his arm with a sigh.

"Pinky?" Sora asked, Roxas nodded.

"Don't call him that, you guys. It's rude."

"Yes, Roxas," Sora and Axel said simultaneously. Riku chuckled and the blonde rolled his eyes. When they were nearly to a stopping point, the trio in the distance turned to them. Well, the adults did. Marluxia turned to them, consequently turning his widespread glittering plumage in the process. Celia held onto one of the child's hand so she didn't fall, allowing the free chubby arm to reach out towards her Carrier father, which was a bad move. The girl immediately grabbed onto one of the closest feathers and gave it a firm yank, plucking it free. Marluxia let out a squawk and everyone in the car winced for him. Celia immediately turned her attention to her lover again and took in the scene. She quickly scooped the girl up so she couldn't do any more damage and calmly scolded her, taking the feather away. The child, Juliet, burst into tears.

"That has to suck," Axel said, holding back a snort. Roxas shrugged.

"It couldn't be any worse than a kid pulling on your whiskers or like… hair or an earring or something," he said as everyone began to pile out of the car. Marluxia dropped his tail back and waddled away towards the cabin dragging it behind him. He disappeared around the side. Roxas was virtually smacked in the face with the humidity when he stepped out onto the soft underbrush and found it hard to breathe. Axel, on the other hand, inhaled deeply, sucking all of the earthy smells and the moist air into his lungs. Excitement ignited under his skin again and he had the sudden urge to change so he could roll around in the dirt. Riku nudged him out of the way so he could exit and it reminded him that things needed unpacking.

"Hello!" Celia called to them with a happy wave. Everyone waved back to her with equal enthusiasm and just as much smiling. Marluxia came back from around the building, pulling his shirt over his head. He wore a contented smile and he didn't seem very bothered by the abuse his daughter had put him through. Their conversations were minimal until all of the necessary baggage had been unpacked and tucked into the proper cabin. The smaller building was a lab, just like in the other ecosystem but the other, much larger, building was one enormous living area. It had a large kitchen and eating area, a common area with couches and other seating, and several beds. There were technically five beds, which was excessive but they used the extra area for storing their unused bags.

The beds themselves were all contained in their own cubicle-like areas. Portable and foldable walls were set between each of them for some privacy but without doors. Hanging from the ceiling over the entire cubicle setup was one long sheath of mosquito netting that draped over the walls like a makeshift ceiling and over the doors for some obscurity. Marluxia and Celia had taken the liberty of pushing their wall out into the extra 'bedroom' area to make room for a portable fold-out crib for Juliet but no one minded. Roxas only hoped the kid slept through the night. The makeshift rooms offered more privacy than the previous camp, but the size of the building made everything echo more so even if they couldn't see everything, they could hear each other just fine. There were two bathrooms, though, as well as a series of ceiling fans, but there wasn't any air conditioning. The door that led outside had a swatch of mosquito netting hanging in the frame they would have to wrestle with every time they wanted to get in and out, but it was better than the alternative. No one could really decide if it was better than Riku's ecosystem or not.

"Holy crap," Sora blurted as he inspected the kitchen. They had two refrigerators that were bursting at the seams with food; meat, grains, and vegetation alike. There was probably four times the variety and triple the amount that that they had at Riku's ecosystem. Roxas was just as stunned. Celia laughed.

"That's my fault. Well… actually I blame Marly. I'm pregnant again and he demanded and paid off the Committee a bit in order to make sure I get excessive calories while we're here. During our previous stays the food was a bit lacking and he's being overly protective. Eat as much as you like, I can't do it all myself," she said with a warm smile. Marluxia snorted.

"You call it overly protective, I call it an insurance policy just in case I can't bring back sufficient supplies," the rosy colored Carrier chimed from inside their bed area. Sora looked to the woman.

"How far along are you?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Hardly three months. Like I said: overly protective," she said casually. Roxas closed the refrigerator and looked her over. She wasn't showing, but then again, he had never seen her body when she wasn't about to burst with childbirth so he couldn't be completely sure. She seemed to be in shape well enough though. He also didn't want to be caught ogling what amounted to someone's wife so he didn't look very long either.

They spent a couple hours catching up and chit chatting about how life had been for the last year. Marluxia and Roxas had spoken on a few occasions over the course of that time but really, there wasn't much aside from general pleasantries. Having an infantile Juliet made socialization difficult. But now, they talked about Ventus and his plans, Demyx and his issues with Mary, and of course the drug test and their growing Carriers. The conversation petered along and they eventually ended up talking about Xion and Riku's ecosystem. Marluxia and Celia listened to it all with genuine interest. The most they had to talk about was Juliet though, and spared the group most of the trifling details that only they, as parents, would find interesting. Juliet herself though, was far more interested in Axel's bright hair than anything the adults had to say.

"So we've gotten to the point where we're just keeping all the tail feathers she plucks from me. We're probably going to try and make a decorative light fixture out of them and give it to her when she goes away to college," Marluxia said, trying to keep his daughter in his lap instead of letting her launch herself at Axel's face. Celia giggled.

"How many has she gotten?" Roxas asked.

"Only a few. Maybe three. I need to learn to be more diligent," the father said with a wry smile.

"Sounds painful."

"It is. Very much. She's gotten one of the top ones before, the ones that are thicker around the stem and I'm not going to lie, I was almost in tears. Blood was drawn and I couldn't sit for a few days without difficulty," Marluxia sighed. Celia's smile broadened to stop her giggles.

"He has a scar," she said and her Carrier gave her a slight glare.

"Ow," the blonde remarked. Juliet's struggles against her father's hands became more incessant as her patience waned and her boredom increased. Wide glittering jade eyes stared at Axel with earnest and she let out an annoyed mewl at Marluxia who just let out a tired sigh in response.

"It's okay," Axel insisted. He secretly hoped she would break free and come to him so he could play with her. He didn't know how Marluxia and Celia felt about it though.

"You're sure?" the avian Carrier asked. The redhead eagerly nodded several times and Marluxia picked Juliet up by her armpits and held her out to him. Axel immediately took her and sat her in his lap with a smile. Juliet's priorities were already set though and she didn't waste any time in yanking on a chunk of his hair. The redhead let out a grunt and a wince which prompted even more giggles from Celia.

"I'm sorry, it shouldn't be that funny," she said. Axel shrugged and gently pulled his hair out of Juliet's fist. The girl immediately clamped onto his hand and he spread his fingers open for her to see. His palm was almost as big as her face; never mind his fingers. Roxas watched them interact with a tiny pang in his chest. The soft expression in the redhead's eyes as he let Juliet pull and poke at his hands was something the blonde rarely got to see. It was the same face he had seen when they had babysat the lion cubs together so long ago. The 'I almost want to dunk them all in a bucket of orange paint and color stripes on them so I can keep them' face.

"Sorry to interrupt the moment but we have some preliminary checkups to go through. Axel, come with me. Roxas, you don't have to be there if you don't want to be," Luxord interjected. "After we're done, I'll need to do the same for you Marluxia."

"Alright," Marluxia agreed. Axel handed Juliet back to her father before standing. Roxas made to go with him and they followed Luxord out of the building, back into the muggy heat. Riku and Sora were outside milling about and looking at the plants in the immediate area. The air was heavy and it was obvious, even from a distance, that it was taking its toll on Riku. Roxas felt bad for him and wondered if they had any extra fans hiding anywhere that they could hook up and stick in his and Sora's cubicle. The snowy Carrier's expression had dropped and he trudged after his Charge tiredly while Sora skipped ahead to fiddle with the nature.

Luxord tried to make Axel's checkup and briefing as painless as possible. He had to do a full physical on both the redhead's Implant and his Primal to determine that everything was working properly, prostate exams and all. It was degrading to say the least but Luxord didn't seem to enjoy himself any so that gave them a bit of solace. Even though Axel had hunted before in Riku's ecosystem, he was technically off the record so Saïx hadn't needed to check him. They were given a very brief mapping of the area so Axel wouldn't get too horribly lost though the Carrier had intended on marking his way through the trees anyway. It was all precautionary and Axel obeyed everything he was told and only after a couple hours, they were finished and set free. Marluxia took their place and they went back out into the wilderness.

" _Well that was thrilling_ ," Axel, in his Primal form, said into Roxas' earpiece blandly. The blonde patted him on his head and smiled a bit.

"There wasn't much we could do about it. How do you think Luxord feels? He has to stick his fingers in you _and_ Marluxia."

" _The fingers in my cat ass were new._ "

"Goody, Axel. I really don't need to know this."

" _Makes me wonder how you give a bird a prostate exam, honestly. Marluxia wouldn't technically even have a penis so I'm not sure how all of that works. I suppose you could check his cloaca and all that_."

"That's enough, thanks. We're done here," Roxas huffed. Axel chuckled.

" _Want to climb a tree with me?_ " he asked. The blonde furrowed his brows.

"You're not going to get stuck up there are you?"

" _…I may, now that you mention it. Unless I climb the tree, change back to my Implant, and then climb back down._ "

"Well then you'd just be putting on a peep show for everyone."

" _Has this has been a problem in the past?_ "

"There wasn't a child and a sociable female in the area who might actually pay attention to you before."

" _Aw, is Roxas jealous I might get all the attention from the ladies_?"

"Juliet is just under a year old and Celia and Marluxia may as well be married, so no, I'm not concerned about either of them on a personal attraction level. I'm more concerned about what Marluxia thinks is okay for the women in his life to see. He's probably more concerned about Juliet than he is about Celia, but I can't begin to guess otherwise," the blonde huffed. Axel chuckled again.

" _Okay, so no tree climbing where they can see. I get it._ "


	91. Chapter 91

**Chapter 91**

Saïx had been home for almost a week, spending his time doing whatever he felt like. He had reread several books, attempted to be interested in the television, read some more, watched the news, and a few other mindless activities. But, for the most part, he was just _bored_. He thought about cleaning, but he remembered how much the chemicals irritated his skin and nose. He hadn't been in seventy-five percent of the house in over a year, but it had been at least five since he stepped foot in Xemnas' bedroom. Well, there wasn't anything stopping him now so he decided to occupy himself with it.

His shoes left footprints in the dust as he walked along the halls that wove through the house to his late Charge's bedroom. Xemnas had had very expensive tastes when it came to his furniture and all of it was wood with elaborate patterns and bold colors in the upholstery. Everything in the room was tinted a light gray from disuse and the air was dry and stale. Every book had a place; every item had its spot. The meticulous organization emanated from all areas of the room, even in the drawers of the furniture pieces. Every sock, tie, pair of underwear, was neatly folded and tucked away carefully. Saïx was a little disturbed.

The only thing the Carrier could find of interest in the entire room was another photo album. It was very old. He sat on the edge of the pristinely made bed and brushed the dust away before opening it. Photo developing was a lost art. Few people had books and albums of actual photographs and usually used them to preserve important documents like birth certificates and marriage licenses. With people living hundreds of years anymore, the archaic paper documents oftentimes crumbled away even if the government still required hard copies. Saïx half expected to find Xemnas' documentation in the album but was surprised to find actual photographs.

For the first time in many many years, Saïx actually felt a bit of personal hurt towards Xemnas when he took in the photos. They hadn't always been together and sometimes, they didn't see each other for weeks. Saïx was fully aware of Xemnas' lifestyle outside of their home but he had never seen pictures of it before. Sometimes Xemnas would come home with a random woman or girl on his arm and she would leave after a few days. Saïx had done it himself on several occasions but it was only after he became a Technician. Apparently, Xemnas had spent his times away from their facility living it up without him.

Saïx didn't really know how to feel. He didn't feel any sort of romantic connection towards Xemnas but he was a little upset he wasn't even aware of any of the happenings before this point. There were dozens of pictures in the album, but it was far from full. Countless women hanging on an always smiling Xemnas. Bars, dance clubs, strip clubs, and restaurants littered the backgrounds of the ancient photos. Saïx had to stop and force himself to recall his serious Carrier days and their facility in order to try and figure out what he should be feeling. He could barely remember those times.

The tiny pain he felt behind his heart dissipated when he concluded that it wasn't important. It didn't matter. The relationships modern Carriers and Charges had were anomalies and he didn't have that sort of attraction towards Xemnas. It was foolish to think otherwise. The women never mattered, the partying never mattered. Their project together was a success, they had money and freedom, and that's all that mattered. He kept repeating his conclusions to himself over and over as he stomped out of Xemnas' bedroom and back to his own space.

* * *

" _Are the stars out tonight?  
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright  
'Cause I only have eyes for you, dear  
The moon may be high  
But I can't see a thing in the sky  
'Cause I only have eyes for you…_"

"Or that could be that we can't see the sky through the trees very well. Have you ever thought about that?"

"Shut up, Roxas. I'm trying to serenade you and you're being difficult again," Axel huffed grumpily with a light glare.

"I enjoyed it," Marluxia chimed from over their makeshift wall. A cacophony of giggles escaped Celia as she dressed Juliet in her pajamas.

"Well thanks, maybe I'll just sing for you then since _apparently_ a certain someone doesn't give two damns about my attempts at being romantic," the redhead grumped and rolled over onto his stomach, pulling away from Roxas and retreating all bodily contact in favor of hugging the pillows to himself.

"Aw, don't be a dick, Roxas," Sora chided from over the _other_ makeshift wall.

"I was about to fall asleep, honestly," Riku said.

"Seriously. Sappy as hell, but soothing," Luxord agreed from the cubicle on the end. Axel heaved a dramatic sniffle and a loud sigh. Roxas didn't say anything but scooted across the mattress and draped an arm over the redhead's back and hugged him a little. There was a moment of silence as everyone continued getting ready for bed. Juliet was placed in her crib and tucked in as much as she would allow herself to be before Celia clicked off the light and climbed in with Marluxia. They all sat in the dark for another few minutes. Roxas felt a little guilty for making Axel retreat away, but he knew he hadn't done anything all that bad. His sarcastic humor just hadn't been timed well enough. After a moment of contemplation he started to hum the rest of the song to himself before picking up where Axel left off.

" _I don't know if we're in a garden  
Or on a crowded avenue  
You are here, so am I  
Maybe millions of people go by  
But they all disappear from view  
And I only have eyes for you…_"

"Aw! Roxas! You're so cute," Sora giggled from his bed.

"Shut up, Sora," Roxas spat.

"You really need lessons if you're trying to lull us all to sleep though, dude. I've got to tell you. That was just awful."

"Shut _up_ , Sora."

"Don't discourage him now," Axel chimed, peeking around his shoulder at the blonde. Roxas' face was bright red and half buried in his side and the look was enough to put a smile on the redhead's face. He turned himself around under his Charge's arm and gathered the blonde up against his chest. He kissed the top of Roxas' head and ran a hand through it soothingly. The Carrier continued from where the blonde left off, humming the instrumentals to himself a bit to get the rhythm right.

" _I don't know if we're in a garden  
Or on a crowded avenue  
You are here, so am I  
Maybe millions of people go by  
(they all disappear from view)  
And I only have eyes  
For You._"

"Oh god, I have cavities," Luxord blurted, eliciting another string of giggles from Celia.

"You boys are sweet," she commented.

"Indeed. Next time Juliet won't go to sleep we should dump her on Axel and get him to sing for her," Marluxia said. More giggles.

"Good plan."

"Should pick a different song though. That one would be a bit pedo-tastic," Sora added.

"Most everything Mr. Sinatra sang wouldn't be very age appropriate for her, I imagine. Unfortunately my knowledge of children's music is a little lacking," Axel said.

"I vaguely remember a few _Barney_ songs," Roxas said.

"If you want to try on a purple dinosaur costume, I'm sure Juliet would be amused."

"Purple… dinosaur?" Marluxia questioned confusedly. Axel laughed.

"Never mind."

"Yeah, that isn't happening," the blonde snorted.

"I figured," the redhead said and hugged his Charge again.

The conversation slowly died into nothingness again as everyone concentrated on sleeping. The only one who wasn't too worried about it was Juliet, but she got the idea after a half hour of playing quietly with her stuffed animals and drifted off as well. Axel was having difficulties. For the first time in his life he was excited about changing and running around in his Primal form. The allure of being one with his natural habitat for a couple of days was almost too much. He knew he had to sleep though, and he tried as hard as he could to get his nerves to stop tingling and to squelch his anxiousness. But after an hour of lying quietly with Roxas, he sighed a little and accepted defeat. He wasn't getting anywhere anytime soon.

Luxord snored, he found. It wasn't obnoxious or really all that loud. It was simply a wheezy deep breathing that Axel assumed would be more upsetting had he been sharing a bed with the man. He took it as a good sign though, at least one of them would get enough sleep. Roxas rolled over in front of him, alleviating a few inches of space between them so he could stretch without disturbing him. After he shifted his stiff joints back into place he curled his arms around Roxas from behind and laid his face against the golden fluff.

"Hmm?" Roxas hummed in partial recognition. Axel immediately kicked himself for waking him. He kissed the blonde's hair again.

"Nothing, sorry," he whispered quietly and rubbed Roxas' stomach gently with his palms. The blonde looked over his shoulder at the redhead.

"Can't sleep?" he mumbled tiredly. The Carrier ducked his head a bit as he tried to shrink into his pillow. He gave Roxas a sheepish look and shook his head. His lover sucked in a deep breath and rubbed his eye a bit before rolling over again. He held an arm up and Axel gave him apologetic eyes before scooting down a few inches and tucking himself under Roxas' chin and resting is forehead against his collar bones. He snaked an arm around the blonde's waist as Roxas' came to rest on his shoulder, his hand curling up to pet Axel's hair. The redhead pulled the pillow down to get comfortable and he let out a sigh as the blonde's fingers raked through his follicles gently, soothingly.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Axel said, his voice hardly making a sound. Roxas didn't respond but hugged him tighter and laid a lazy kiss on his head. He was struggling to stay awake enough to assist the Carrier but tried to not wake up fully and threaten his own sleep for the evening. The more he thought about it, the more concentration he had, the worse it became and soon, he was wide awake again. Axel hadn't progressed much though and simply lay quietly against his Charge, enjoying the attention, but feeling guilty. Roxas eventually stopped petting him and let out a sigh and his hand drop away.

"Sleep?" the blonde questioned quietly.

"…No, sorry."

"Why?"

"Excited."

"Oh. Well that's good."

"Go back to sleep."

"Can't."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"But I feel bad."

"Stop it."

"I can't. I didn't even mean to wake you up. I just need to get some energy out or something. Maybe I should sneak outside and like… run laps around the building," Axel snorted. Roxas rubbed his back some before moving away a few inches and scooting down under the covers until he was eye level with the redhead. Axel heaved another tiny sigh in apology but the blonde pressed a brief kiss to his lips before disappearing under the covers completely. The Carrier lifted the blanket some to watch his Charge move away, the confusion setting in. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Letting out some of your energy," Roxas said plainly and kissed a trail along Axel's stomach. The Carrier blinked a few times. The blonde wiggled the tips of his fingers under the redhead's shorts as his thumbs went to undo the button. The recognition slapped Axel across the face and he pulled away and sat up, flinging the blanket off them both. Roxas looked up to his face with mild surprise, a hand still stuck under the tops of the redhead's shorts.

"What about everyone else?" The Carrier asked, his voice quiet but the tone sounding panicked and worried. Roxas shrugged a bit, his sleep deprived brain hazily putting together the severity of the situation.

"Well you need _something_ , right?" he asked. The redhead shrugged.

"Maybe, but you don't do…that enough for me to know how much I can control myself. This isn't the best place to experiment to figure it out, you know."

"Okay fine," Roxas said and sat up, crossing his arms over his chest. "You don't get one then. What else do you propose we do?"

" _You_ were supposed to go back to sleep. The offer is tempting but…" Axel sighed a bit as the mental imagery took over and flooded his mind with pictures he suddenly couldn't stop thinking about. The dilemma was a bit foreboding but he knew he didn't sweat as much as he did when they had regular intercourse so the musk wasn't really the problem. It was his volume control. Roxas waited patiently for a reply, watching the redhead have a mental battle with himself. When he didn't get one after a few moments of silence, he decided to make another move anyway.

He scooted closer to the redhead again and pushed himself over one of his legs to sit between them. Axel watched the blonde with unsure eyes. Roxas situated himself on his stomach in front of the redhead, his face a few inches away from the front of his shorts. The Carrier jerkily reclined back until he was balanced on his elbows, his cheeks turning a bit pink. Roxas peeled the redhead's zipper down, rubbing the softened flesh underneath with his palm through the fabric. Axel's blush darkened considerably, forcing a smile across the blonde's lips.

"You need to relax," Roxas murmured and snuck his fingers into the folds of fabric to retrieve his prize. Axel sucked in a breath as he was pulled to the open air. The blonde enveloped the redhead's entirety in his mouth readily and pushed the excessive skin around with his tongue. Axel let out a tiny squeak and squeezed his eyes closed in an effort to be quiet. Roxas kept his lips clamped around the length as he pulled back, bringing the skin with him and massaging it gently along the way, coaxing the redhead to full rigidity.

Using his hands, he stroked Axel several times while turning his face to the side to wrap his tongue around the length. He lapped at the skin, slowly pulling it a bit as he moved upwards to the tip. Axel pushed himself up enough to brace back with one arm so he could use the other to weave his fingers in Roxas' hair. His resolve was being chipped away the longer his Charge took favoring his tip and the urge to slam the blonde's face onto himself was beginning to grow unbearable. Right before he felt he couldn't take it anymore, Roxas inched downward, pulling as much of Axel into his mouth as he could, using his hand to stimulate the excess.

Through hazy eyes, the redhead looked his Charge over. Roxas had shifted his hips to the side as a very obvious tent had presented itself in front of his pelvis. Axel immediately felt guilty for having all the fun and he gripped the blonde's hair and prevented him from moving anymore. Roxas grunted softly and stopped before pulling back and looking at the Carrier confusedly. Axel pulled his Charge's hand away from his member gently. The blonde scowled a bit and backed away.

"Jeeze, am I that bad?" Roxas asked quietly, sounding hurt. Axel hurriedly shook his head.

"No, never," he assured through husky windpipes. "Hang on," he said and moved back several inches and shoved his shorts down his hips and removed them, dropping them off the side of the bed. He scooted around the blonde and lay on his side next to him. Roxas leaned back some as Axel's pelvis came to rest in front of his face. The Carrier ignored that though and focused on Roxas' and ran a hand over the front of his boxers before undoing the button in the front and freeing him. Roxas' hand on his stopped him.

"What are you doing? You don't have to—"

"But I want to," Axel interrupted and nudged the hand out of the way before leaning forward and taking the blonde's length into his mouth. Roxas sucked in a sudden gasp and stifled it behind his hand as the redhead's tongue danced over his skin. In an effort to stay quiet, he grabbed Axel's hips and pulled him forward and didn't hesitate in taking the redhead again. The Carrier groaned low in his throat as his movements hesitated some but he continued.

After hardly a minute though, Roxas let out a frustrated growl and pulled away from him. He practically ripped his underwear off and tossed it aside before going back to Axel. He shoved the redhead onto his back before climbing over him. Axel was suddenly presented with a faceful of the blonde's genitals which he happily accepted. Roxas latched onto the redhead again and pumped his fist fervently over his length. Axel had to stop his own movements to hold back his voice in retaliation. His hands gripped Roxas' thighs as pleasure rocketed through his spine. He could feel himself growing close and alarms went off in his head. He released his lover from his mouth and panted a bit.

"R-Roxas… wait," he rasped quietly. But the blonde didn't relent. He sped up, silencing Axel's protests as the redhead caught himself trying to belt out a yell. The Carrier grit his teeth as his Charge continued and pushed him over the edge. Every muscle in Axel's body tensed as he climaxed, a hand clamped over his mouth tightly. He managed to hold it all in through a series of rough pants, but his throat hurt afterwards. Roxas attempted to catch the excessive amount of ejaculate he forgot to think about beforehand in his mouth. He begrudgingly swallowed it before he could choke or even possibly let it get all over the bed linens. He couldn't even focus on whatever taste or sensation he felt because of it all he had to make the decision so quickly.

"Damn," Roxas sputtered to himself as he wiped his mouth and chin with the back of his hand in mild shock. He didn't have much time to resituate himself though before Axel pulled his hips backwards into a better position over his face. His length was taken between the redhead's lips again and he was being dragged down under the waves of pleasure that textured tongue gave him. If he was really honest with himself, he would have to admit that Axel's mouth was his favorite part of him. If for no other reason than his tongue. The Carrier was quick to finish him off, and Roxas easily kept his pleasurable cries to himself. Axel held him in place until the twitching of his member finished and he fought back a grimace as he took the blonde's lead and swallowed. Roxas lifted a shaky leg and dragged it over his lover so he could flop to the side and lie on the bed without smothering the other under his butt. Axel pushed himself up onto his elbows again.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly. Roxas nodded several times.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he responded and Axel blushed a bit.

"You sounded like you were having… difficulties with like…y'know…" he trailed. The blonde shrugged.

"Almost choking isn't the same as actually choking."

"Yeah well, I still feel bad. You really don't have to feel obligated to do that."

"I didn't. I wanted to."

"I don't believe you."

"Stop. Don't be like that," Roxas chided and sat up. "Why am I not allowed to please you?"

"…Because I feel it's awfully one sided and it makes me feel guilty," Axel admitted. The blonde, in response, rolled his eyes with a sigh.

"Now you know how I feel when you don't let me reciprocate. Is that really all that holds you back? Because if that's the case, we need to do this more often so we can both get over it," he said. The redhead fidgeted a bit.

"It's part of the reason, yeah. But I'm afraid to say anything else."

"Tell me."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I want to know."

"Well…" the redhead trailed as he looked contemplative. "It sort of weirds me out when you let me finish…in your mouth, just because I always remember my anatomy and that…one of my testicles is technically my Totem's and…stuff," he blurted haltingly. Roxas blinked a few times as his expression drooped and the realization set in. He had just consumed a mouthful of tiger semen.

"…I think I need to go brush my teeth," the Charge said after a few moments of silence. Axel nodded his understanding and watched the blonde shuffle out of the bed with stiff movements. Roxas pulled on his boxers again and made his way out of their makeshift bedroom and towards the bathroom.

The blonde didn't really know what to think. He knew he wouldn't stop being intimate with the redhead over something so trivial but he wasn't sure how he felt about any future swallowing attempts, or even anything involving Axel's semen and his mouth. He pondered it intensely as he padded towards the bathroom door. A bit of movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he froze in front of the entrance to Celia and Marluxia's area. The mosquito netting skewed the view a bit, but it was still startling.

Celia's movements were very fluid as her hips rocked over Marluxia's languidly. It was obvious, by her heaving naked chest that she was breathing heavily but she hardly made a sound. She was riding her Carrier, that much was certain, but she was bent over him and their lips were pressed together lovingly. Marluxia's hands slid over her body protectively. Roxas wasn't entirely sure how he felt about what he was seeing. It wasn't so much the idea of them having intercourse that bothered him, but the idea that Juliet was ten feet to the side in her crib. He was, however, astounded at how quiet they were. The occasional wet peck of parting lips was the only thing to be heard, but it wasn't until Celia sat back and pulled away from Marluxia that he understood why.

She was wearing her earpiece. The cord trailed from her hair and scooped around to the Carrier's Link hookup in the back of his neck. Roxas also noticed that Marluxia didn't have a musk wafting through the space. Or if he did, it was slight enough that the blonde couldn't notice. He felt strange watching them so openly, but it wasn't a perverse sort of watching. His focus had changed from needing to brush his teeth, to wanting to see Marluxia finish and how well the earpiece controlled the volume. He certainly seemed like he would be vocal enough if the device wasn't hindering him. His facial expressions and open mouthed panting led Roxas to believe that an avian Carrier such as Marluxia would probably sing for his Charge during sex, just like Axel tended to roar for him during their sessions. But even as he finished, Marluxia was completely silent. Celia obviously had better control and simply squeaked for a half second before they reclined together comfortably. Roxas, his previous objective completely lost, headed back to the bed where Axel had resituated himself under the covers, his shorts still on the floor. The blonde discarded his boxers and climbed inside.

"Better?" the redhead questioned quietly.

"I didn't actually make it," Roxas said, propping himself up on one elbow and scooting up against his Carrier's side. Axel raised a confused brow.

"…It doesn't bother you?" he asked.

"I got distracted."

"By?" Axel persisted curiously. The blonde leaned in and whispered into his ear, just in case anyone decided to try and listen.

"Marluxia and Celia having sex," he said simply. Axel pulled away from him to give him a deep frown and furrowed brows.

"What the fuck, Roxas? Why would you watch?"

"Because we didn't even know they were doing it, that's why. It surprised me they were so quiet," the Charge explained. Axel didn't seem too pleased with that answer and an extra crease spread through his forehead as his scowl deepened.

"I tried really hard not to be loud, but it's difficult for me. I thought you understood that…"

"And I do. I don't mind it at all, but I was thinking about the times like now when we have to worry about it. It wasn't like Marluxia had better control and I was jealous or anything. They were using their earpiece and I didn't hear _anything_. Don't you think that's worth a try?" Roxas asked. Axel looked contemplative for a few minutes. The blonde was beginning to believe that the redhead was still upset up until a lecherous grin split that Carrier's face in half and Roxas suddenly found himself being crushed into Axel's collarbones. The redhead hugged him close with a low chuckle that reverberated through them both. He released Roxas after a good squeeze and rubbed their noses together.

"You just want an excuse to have sex with me in inappropriate places. You're so dirty," he purred. The blonde let out an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes before shoving him away. Axel laughed and fought him off easily and pulled the blonde against him again. The Carrier laughed quietly to himself. He let out a contented sigh and they settled down together again.

"Maybe," Roxas said, and Axel grinned again.

* * *

" _I'll be fine, Roxas_ ," Axel assured the next morning. The blonde was overly nervous about seeing him off on his hunt. Marluxia had left a couple hours before and his goodbyes didn't last nearly as long. Roxas was nervous. The jungle, to him, was a much more dangerous place than the Tibetan frontier. Aside from the enormous population of predatory animals, the risk of poor footing amongst the tree roots could easily lead to limb twists, and slipped discs. Regardless of all of this, Roxas' mind was stuck mostly on the predators and the possibility of poachers.

"But poachers," the blonde defended weakly. Axel heaved a sigh through the earpiece.

" _I highly doubt there are poachers here. If there are, I have way more places to hide than in the snow and rocks and boring places. Better camouflage, better chances. Don't worry about it. I'm the king of the jungle. I can do this._ "

"I thought lions were the kings of the jungle."

" _…Lions don't live in the jungle. That phrase is a misnomer. Plus, if I let Leon think he's the king of anything his ego would inflate and engulf us all in some sort of horrible apocalyptic personality disorder,_ " Axel snorted. Roxas laughed and ran his fingers through the thick tufts of fur on either side of the Carrier's face. Those were his favorite tufts, followed closely by the ones between the Carrier's toes. His worry escalated the longer he was able to feel the soft fluff between his fingers. " _Oh come on, Roxas, don't do this_ ," the cat groaned as Roxas' expression deflated and turned broken.

"Sorry, I can't help it. I'm really scared," the blonde said and swallowed thickly. He hugged the Carrier around the chest and Axel sighed and laid his head on his Charges' shoulder. Roxas clung to him for several minutes. After a while, Axel had had enough and hooked a paw around the blonde's side and pushed him into the leaf litter. He shoved the blonde around with his face a few times before dragging his tongue up and over his cheek and through his hair. Roxas let out a yelp and tried to worm away but Axel trapped him between his front feet and persisted.

" _You're allowed to be worried, but you can't keep trying to stop me with those huge eyes of yours. You're breaking my heart here. I need to go_ ," the Carrier said and stopped his assault. Roxas lay on his back with his hair stuck in six extra directions with the cat's drool holding it in place, their faces hardly an inch apart.

"Okay…" the Charge said quietly with obvious uncertainty. "Watch out for gorillas. I've seen one of the Carriers for them and he was huge and a hairy and probably just as scary as an actual gorilla."

" _This is the Indian jungle, Roxas. Gorillas live in the African jungle. It's okay. You don't have to worry about it. I'm still top cat. I'm going now. I love you_ ," Axel said impatiently and opened his mouth for Roxas to unhook the earpiece. The blonde hesitated with a scowl before disconnecting and giving the cat a pout.

"I love you too," he said quietly. " _Please_ be safe." Axel nuzzled their faces together again with a rumbling low grumble from his throat. He didn't have the ability to purr, otherwise he would have, but Roxas got the idea. The Carrier backed away and headed off in the same direction Marluxia had, padding slowly through the underbrush. Roxas sat up and ran his fingers through his hopelessly glued and tangled hair a few times, picking the most of the foreign pieces of foliage out of it. He watched Axel leave with a heavy heart and a painful chest, his sense of dread overwhelming him.

He felt a tickle on his leg and looked to his calf. There was some sort of long, brown, awful looking bug with three inch long legs crawling over his skin and he paled. Beady bug eyes twitched around and looked at him, daring him to do something to disrupt its path. Roxas smacked the bug away with a surprised squeal that, even to him, sounded way too feminine to be normal. He was thankful no one else was outside with him to hear it, but he was pretty sure the bug was having a fit wherever it had been flung to. He rubbed his eye with an angry growl geared at himself before he pushed himself up and brushed the rest of the dirt off his shorts and headed inside.

"Took you long enough," Sora teased from the couch when the blonde entered. Celia was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Everyone had insisted she didn't need to but she ignored them all and started anyway. Riku was sitting on the floor with Juliet, an array of small female child toys tossed around them in a circle. The girl herself wasn't interested in those though, she was engrossed in a handful of Riku's hair. It seemed to be a common theme amongst the five and under crowd, Roxas noticed. Luxord had been in the lab before any of them were awake.

"Shut up," Roxas huffed at his sibling, ducking into his and Axel's makeshift room for his towel from that morning's shower. He needed another one now even though he was reluctant to rinse away the tiger spit. He felt a bit wimpy, letting his lover affect him so much but he couldn't keep Xion out of the back of his mind. He wasn't mourning the girl any more than he mourned the bug he had probably killed a few minutes earlier, but her circumstances plagued him now that he was faced with a similar situation. Part of him felt desperate. Desperate to make Axel believe that even if he did die out in the wilderness, he wouldn't be blown off and forgotten like Vexen had done. Roxas knew that he was being irrational, that Axel understood that they loved each other but the blonde felt he needed reassurance.

The water in the shower scalded and turned his skin pink. He ignored the burn as the stress set in. It would be another two days at most before he saw Axel again and he doubted the quality of his sleep. He considered keeping the hairs he would lose with his constant worrying so he and Axel could count them later and have a laugh.

"You need to relax," Celia chided when he came out of the bathroom and attempted to pass the kitchen. He looked to her and tried to not remember what she looked like naked. She smiled kindly at him. "You look extremely tense. You're worried?"

"Yes," the blonde said. "How are you not?"

"We've done this many times before, Roxas. I was scared the first time I had to say goodbye, too. But it's alright. Carriers have instinct thresholds, as I'm sure you're probably aware of," Celia said as she portioned out a serving of scrambled eggs onto several different plates. Roxas's mind immediately went back to the beginning of his and Axel's relationship; to the convention where the redhead attacked him. He was very familiar with instinct thresholds. Celia continued. "I have full confidence in their bodies and what their instincts would tell them to do if they were in a high stress situation. Their Totems aren't some ornate second part of themselves they occasionally stumble upon and part ways again. They are an ingrained part of their existence, so much so, that if they had the ability to control themselves and stay in their Primal forms long enough, I'm sure they would turn into legitimate animals if the Link didn't have the ability to control it for them.

It's almost scary in some ways to think we have relationships with them like they're just any other person in the world. Some people call it bestial in nature but I think that we, as humans, are attracted to them because of that extra part of themselves. They're so human, but so much stronger, so much more than we are. Humans are awful natural predators. We can be conditioned to have stronger fighting instincts and to combat our fear, but in reality, we have an extremely strong flight instinct and we want to avoid conflict that could possibly hurt us or is the least bit dangerous. We latch onto things and beings, like Carriers, that are stronger than we are so we can look powerful by proxy but once those things are gone, we don't have much left.

Carriers are lucky if for no other reason than the fact that they have two different instincts. They have the natural strength of their Totems and the human strength and emotional stability from their Implant. They're more capable than we are in any sort of situation. I have confidence in their inhuman existence. I have confidence in their ability to handle themselves. I have confidence that their instincts are stronger than ours and that they will survive longer than we will. I love and trust Marluxia because he's a Carrier and he's stronger than I am. He's inhuman and better than I am, and I know he'll come back to me because of it. Wouldn't you say the same would be true for Axel?" she asked, setting the pan of eggs aside to give Roxas a meaningful look. The blonde blinked a few times and furrowed his brows.

"I suppose so. I'm more paranoid about poachers at this point. It doesn't matter what instincts they have. The instinct of a bullet is stronger than that times a thousand," he said blandly. Celia's speech was nice, but impractical in his situation. It only explained why people could possibly feel connected to a Carrier, not why Axel was better suited for the wilderness than he was. Of course he was. That was a given. But in response, Celia only smiled.

"I understand that. But how is it any different than walking around outside amongst the populace? People are just as likely to shoot them out of fear as they are to poach them in one of thousands of ecosystems. Just because you have one past experience with poachers doesn't mean that every time Axel walks outside, he's going to be killed. You really can't do that to yourself, Roxas. It's not healthy," she said. He thought about it for a few minutes and his silence made Celia giggle a bit. "I would've skipped the speech and made you a relaxing cup of tea instead but… unfortunately, we don't have any."


	92. Chapter 92

**Chapter 92**

Axel had been skulking around the wilderness for several hours now, eating whatever he could find. It was much easier for him to sneak up on tiny munchable creatures than it had been in Riku's ecosystem, and rightly so. Frogs weren't the most texture rich things to chew on, but they were satisfying enough in terms of filling him up. They were fun to catch though. There wasn't enough water for them to hide in so they hopped along like geriatric old men on the grasses, searching for a puddle to escape to. Axel caught them every time, but stayed away from ones with elaborate patterns. Being color blind didn't help his ability to pick out the poisonous ones but the patterns were easy to spot. He hadn't stopped moving since he left the camp, but he wasn't afraid of getting lost.

After wandering several miles away from his starting point, he stumbled upon a stream. He drank his fill from the bank before dipping his feet in the water and feeling the sediment between his toes. He squished around for a moment, following the bank for several yards before he happened upon a large mound of leaf litter that had been parked off to the side. Going against his better judgment, his curiosity got the better of him and he snuck closer. Before he could venture too close, he caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye coming from the water. He fumbled to the side quickly just as a massive female crocodile flung herself out of the water at him, jaws open and ready for a bite. She landed on the bank and her speed decreased considerably, allowing him to escape without any harm aside from a heart rate that was probably unhealthy.

It was growing dark and he still hadn't found any of Marluxia's kin. He hadn't even heard anything of worth aside from a few primate chatters, general forest noise, and a few birds that were far smaller than any peafowl he had ever heard. He was getting frustrated. Trekking through the forest was nice and somewhat relaxing, but not being successful in his search was cancelling out the positives. By the time he reached a natural threshold in the forest, where the trees turned more deciduous, it was pitch black outside and he needed to sleep if he was going to get very far the next day.

* * *

Marluxia had the added advantage of being able to fly. Regardless of that fact though, he was still having an extremely difficult time in locating any of his natural offspring. He ducked through the trees, narrowly dodging monkeys and snakes, for _hours_. Flying above the canopy didn't help much because of the canopy itself. On the few times he found a vacant tree branch below the leaves, he let out a loud call, hoping to hear any of his kin respond. When he was met with silence each time his discouragement level rose.

He hadn't heard of any poachings in a while so he didn't know what the problem was.

* * *

"Are you looking at _porn_?" Roxas asked confusedly the next morning when he went into the lab to use the Catalogue terminal. He wanted to check the Charge forum and post some pictures to help hold his boredom at bay, but Luxord was already there, preoccupying the machine with breasts. Huge. Naked. Breasts. The Technician himself was sitting as casual as could be, with his feet propped up on the keyboard. His lab coat was hanging off the back of his chair and his shoes were off but other than that, he was completely appropriate. His face was one of boredom and his arms hung off the sides of the chair limply as he slouched. He occasionally lifted a hand to poke at the controls to flip to the next explicit image. Roxas was a bit put off.

"Yep," came Luxord's flat reply, as if looking at pornography during work hours using the company computer was normal if not expected.

"Oh."

"Were you looking for some? I can share," he offered. Roxas was tempted, but shook his head.

"No, I came to use the Catalogue, but not for that. Uh… do you need a minute? I can come back."

"Naw, I'm fine. Just looking. I'm done."

"Right, okay," the blonde said awkwardly. "Ran out of other stuff to do?"

"For the most part, yeah. I don't have much else to do until they come back. Are you in the same boat?" Luxord asked, pulling his feet off the keyboard and sitting up in the chair properly.

"Sort of. I just wanted to do a few things then I'd probably go back to reading or something. I just needed to get off the couch," Roxas said with a small shrug. Luxord nodded his agreement. He stood and let the Charge take his seat. He picked up his coat and shoes and pulled them on before bidding his farewells and leaving. Roxas spent the next couple hours, idly chipping away the minutes with the Charge forum and browsing posts to see if he missed anything of worth. He threw some of the pictures from Riku's ecosystem up as well as a long post explaining Xion's death and Vexen's heartlessness, starting at the airport. Once he was finished, he didn't feel like going back into the cabin just yet and he decided to call the lab and check in, assuming Cloud or Leon would answer.

"Oh! Hey!" Ventus said excitedly, waving at the screen with a broad smile. Roxas was confused. He didn't know how the other blonde was able to answer his call.

"Hi," Roxas deadpanned. There was a tense moment of silence as they stared at each other.

"So _ooo_ , need something? Calling to check in?" Ventus asked. Roxas blinked a few times and nodded.

"Yeah. Um, how did you answer? Do you have someone's watch?"

"No, I got a package from Ansem and it had a tablet for me. I have my uniform and a bunch of pills, too. But he suggested I wait on the pills until you guys get back just in case something happens. I'm official now though," the older blonde said with a smile as he picked up the aforementioned tablet with the cord leading to the Catalogue terminal hanging from it. Roxas blinked several times.

"Oh. That's…good. Okay," he trailed. Ventus scrunched his brows together.

"Still don't like me enough to be excited?"

"No, just a little blindsided. I didn't expect you to answer let alone tell me all that. I'm happy for you. I'm glad you won't be sick anymore, but I don't want you to think it's going to get any easier."

"I didn't think it would."

"Do you know why Ansem says to wait on your treatment?"

"There are a lot of side effects to the pills. It's just better to have someone nearby who's willing to look after me and help, I guess. I don't get the feeling Leon and Cloud have overbearing senses of hospitality and Demyx and Zexion are preoccupied with Mary. Tifa and Zack's new Carrier should be ready soon so I don't want to bother them either. So…I can just wait. If you guys don't want to help, that's okay too. I can fly solo on this, I suppose."

"No, it's fine. We can."

"Thanks. Where's Axel?"

"Hunting. He'll be back in the morning."

"Oh. Fun."

"I guess. I'm bored as hell."

"Understandable. I'm afraid I don't have anything interesting to report. It's been really quiet. But…" Ventus trailed, looking complacent.

"What is it?" Roxas asked.

"Well…if I could talk to Sora and Riku, I'd like to. Are they doing better?"

"Much, yeah. What's wrong?"

"I'd rather talk to them first before I say anything to you. But it's comforting to know they're better."

"Yeah it's much more peaceful. I'll go get them," Roxas said and unclipped his watch from his wrist and set it on the terminal. He hiked it back to the cabin and stuck his face through the door and mosquito netting. He couldn't see anyone and he was confused. He stepped inside and strained an ear to listen for anything. The only thing he could hear was a shower running behind one of the bathroom doors and Juliet's giggles accompanying it. Roxas felt safe to assume that Juliet and Celia were bathing but he couldn't find his brother or Riku. Their bedroom area was empty as was the second bathroom. Luxord wasn't even there. Roxas didn't disturb Celia and went back to the lab and to Ventus.

"They on their way?" the older blonde asked. Roxas shook his head.

"No, I can't find them. I assume they went for a walk or something. I'll tell them to call and check in. You're _sure_ this isn't something I can't just pass along?"

"Yeah, it's kind of a big deal."

"…That doesn't sound very promising."

"Sorry. Really, I'm not even sure I should say anything. Demyx and Zexion might me better suited for it since they were there."

"They were there? Did something happen in Riku and Sora's lab?"

"Y-yeah…maybe I said too much."

"Another one of their Carriers died, didn't it?" Roxas deduced. Ventus nodded quietly.

"Yeah."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"Well…damn. I won't say anything to them but I'll make sure they call and check in. Give them that time to adjust and grieve, I guess. They handled the other ones okay; I can't imagine any hysterics now. Did Demyx and Zexion do anything with it?"

"No, they're waiting on Riku and Sora's decision."

"Okay. I'll make sure they call. Thanks."

"No problem. If I don't talk to you beforehand, I'll see you guys in a few days."

"Right. Bye."

* * *

They hadn't intended on their trek to become a semi-informal date, but Riku and Sora's walk through the wilderness together was becoming more and more peaceful the longer they continued. They had packed a couple of sandwiches for Sora as well as several bottles of water, just in case. The heat was stifling and the humidity made things feel ten times worse. It was affecting Riku more than his Charge but they continued onward in a stubborn attempt to get out and be comfortable around each other. Hand in hand they went, stepping over tree roots and fallen branches carefully.

"I get the feeling you have something on your mind," Riku said as he took in Sora's contemplative face. The brunette was balanced on a fallen tree they had climbed over, reaching for his hands. Riku helped him back onto the solid earth beneath them before wiping the film of sweat off his brow. His Charge shrugged.

"Just thinking," he said simply as they resumed walking.

"What about?"

"Radiant Garden."

"…Oh."

"Yeah, sorry. The trees reminded me of it. And the vines."

"You don't have to apologize. I can see what you're getting at in terms of memories. You're not upset by it are you?"

"No. I still miss it, but I'm not torturing myself with it."

"I don't expect you to ever _not_ miss it, honestly. You can't forget the place where you grew up even if most of the meaningless memories attached to it fade."

"Did you technically 'grow up' at the facility then?"

"Well, all Carriers come from enormous breeding grounds called Compounds which are essentially Carrier farms if you want to get general about it. It's just row after row of gestational chambers run by huge Gestational Terminals. Technicians run around and check things while we mature, but other than that, it's nothing like an actual facility. We're matured there, and immediately transported to the facility where we're going to live and that's where the 'growing up' process begins I suppose. I remember coming out of my gestational chamber and I remember being tested at the facility, but the details are all sort of fuzzy since it was so long ago. It's difficult to say where I 'grew up' because I technically grew at the Compound but I wasn't living or doing anything of worth until I was at the facility."

"Oh. I would count the facility as the place where you grew up in that case, because I count 'growing up' as going out and experiencing stuff for yourself. So if you didn't do anything until you were at the facility then that would make the most sense."

"That's true. Good point," Riku agreed and pulled at the front of his t-shirt to get some air circulation under the fabric and over his skin. He was sweating bullets. They would probably have to head back soon if he kept it up. He didn't want to. The quiet peacefulness of the nature around them, coupled with the closeness of the trees made things very cozy and comforting. They were alone, but it didn't _feel_ like they were because of the claustrophobic nature of the forest. Riku liked the serenity he felt, even if the heat disagreed with him. Plus, he and Sora were doing so well together it was upsetting to think he would need to disturb it soon. They continued quietly for another twenty minutes before Riku stopped them so he could pull a bottle of water out of Sora's bag. He practically inhaled the liquid in one long drag, making the brunette's brows to furrow together curiously.

"A little thirsty?" he asked with a short laugh. Riku shrugged and capped the empty bottle and put it back in the bag.

"Just a bit. It's hot out here."

"Yeah it is," the brunette agreed, fanning his face a bit with his hand. It was sticky, to be sure, but he wasn't as bothered by the heat. "Did you want to head back?"

"If you want to, we can. It just as hot to me in the cabin as it is out here so I don't have much of a preference."

"But we're moving around and hiking out here. At least at the cabin we can sit around and Celia can force us to eat half the refrigerator," Sora said. The woman was paranoid that all the extra food Marluxia had acquired would go to waste before they left so she had been cooking almost nonstop since they settled in. Sora and Riku both were considering becoming bulimic for the remainder of their stay simply so they could escape the uncomfortable sensations of being overstuffed. Luxord was always more than happy to eat whatever she threw at him, which gave her the impression _all_ of them needed to eat that much. At least she was a good cook otherwise it would've been torture instead of just inconvenient.

"I'll be fine. I won't subject you to such abuse," Riku assured. Sora smiled and laughed some and the conversation fell away to comfortable silence again. He took Riku's word for it, but he was still worried.

"I sort of wish we had invested in a camera like Roxas and Axel did. I want pictures," Sora said.

"Well Roxas and Axel have taken enough for all of us, I think. We can get one once we get home for future endeavors," Riku said.

"Yeah, I'd like to."

"Alright."

They continued on quietly. After a while, Sora started getting more and more interested in the tiny details of the forest and their pace steadied to a crawl. The brunette became engrossed in watching the insects trail about on the tree surfaces and the slight variations in plant life from one patch of earth to the next. He sort of felt like Roxas in some ways. The details were becoming clearer to him and they were the most interesting. After an hour or so of searching, his stomach let out a low growl and they both settled on an open patch of dirt so Sora could eat his sandwiches. It didn't take long for him to inhale them but once he was finished, he noticed a problem. They only had one bottle of water left.

"Let's head back," the brunette said. Riku nodded and they doubled back the way they came. The heat of the day had come in full force and the humidity seemed to double. It was stifling and both males were sweating buckets but only Riku seemed to be overly affected by it. Sora found himself having to help pull the Carrier over the tree trunks and roots they had crossed so easily before. He hadn't realized how far they had wandered from the camp and they trudged for a long while, guiding themselves by landmarks they had committed to memory on their way out. It helped that the only footprints and trail marks they had to go by were made by them since no one else had come with them. But after two hours of walking, the camp was just barely visible through the trees and the last bottle of water was gone. Riku wasn't doing very well.

"Sora, I need to sit for a minute," the Carrier rasped, bracing a hand on a tree for stability. The brunette scrunched his brows together worriedly just as his watch started beeping.

_Fever_

_Dehydration_

"Fuck," the Charge spat at his watch. "Don't sit. We need to get you to camp. Now," he said with a serious face and a stern voice. Riku took a breath and nodded some, swallowing thickly. Sora noticed his limbs shaking a bit as he held himself up weakly. He thought fast, which even to him sounded astounding. He shrugged his backpack off and handed it to Riku who took it with a confused expression. "Put that on, and then get on my back," the brunette ordered, putting his back to the Carrier and turning his hands backwards expectantly. Riku hesitated.

"I don't want to slow you down and have you end up in the same situ—"

"Shut up and get on," Sora blurted, sending a glare over his shoulder. Riku blinked a few times and nodded jerkily and shrugged the backpack on. He carefully climbed onto Sora's back and the brunette let out a grunt with the effort but held steady.

"I'm sorry," Riku said quietly and rested his face on Sora's neck. The brunette laughed dryly as he started towards the camp again.

"It's okay, we just miscalculated. Just keep talking to me so I know you're there."

"I don't have much to talk about…" Riku said. He wove his arms under his Charge's and hugged his chest. "But I can hang on."

"Works for me."

After a half hour of trudging, Sora was exhausted. Riku held on as much as he could, the guilt tearing at him for every step. He could feel himself fading as his Charge's breathing became heavier with the effort. His vision blurred some as he stared off to the side. The trees blended with the dirt and the lichens blended with the leaves and vines. His grip on the front of Sora's shirt loosened some but the brunette didn't notice right away. But by the time they fumbled back into the camp, Riku was out like a light and essentially dead weight against his Charge's back. His hands fell away from the fabric limply. Sora didn't notice until they were in front of their building and Riku wasn't making any effort to get off him so they could go inside.

"Riku?" Sora questioned, turning his head in attempts to see the Carrier's face. Riku didn't answer and the brunette jostled him a bit to get him to wake up. When he didn't stir, Sora's mind immediately flew into a state of panic and he kicked at the door into their building, hoping Celia was inside to open it for him. The woman answered quickly, her face confused.

"Sora, what's the matter?" she asked, holding the mosquito netting aside for the brunette to fling himself inside.

"Something's wrong with Riku!" Sora squeaked and quickly sat on the couch and eased Riku back. He turned to look the Carrier over as Celia made her way to the, concerned laced through her eyes. The brunette clicked through his watch to see if he missed any additional problems. He didn't, and he didn't understand why a fever and dehydration could knock him out so easily either. His frazzled mind was going a mile a minute and he was having problems linking cohesive sentences together. Celia put the back of her hand against Riku's forehead.

"He's burning up. We need to cool him off. Get him into the bathroom and into a cold shower. I'll go get Luxord and Roxas and I'll meet you in there, okay?" she said sternly. She moved away from them and ducked into her makeshift bedroom to retrieve Juliet who had been happily playing away on the floor. She carted the girl out the front entrance, leaving Sora to himself. The brunette shakily pulled Riku up into a semi sitting position and pushed the backpack off his shoulders and yanked his shirt over his head. The question of the Carrier's shorts lingered for a half second before Sora just left them in place and clumsily pulled Riku into his arms again. He carried him into the bathroom as quickly as he could and gently placed him in the shower.

Icy water rained over the Carrier as Sora discarded most of his clothing and jumped in with him. He tugged Riku into his lap and positioned him back against his chest. The brunette hugged him close as his mind with through every bad ending it could conjure up. Riku's breathing was shallow and even under his hands, his heartbeat was thumping against his palms healthily, if a bit slow. Scenes of Sora having to bury his Carrier shot through the brunette's mind, blurring his vision with worried tears. He felt like he was being crushed to death for the entire five minutes it took Celia to find his brother and Luxord. Roxas burst through the bathroom door to find Sora huddled under the shower with Riku, his face buried in the Carrier's hair and his shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.

"Sora, you need to get out of there," Roxas urged, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. The brunette looked to him and sniffled.

"What do I need to do for him?" he asked. Luxord stepped up behind Roxas.

"We need to get him into the lab, kiddo," the Technician said. Celia appeared in the doorway with an armful of towels. Roxas clicked off the shower and Sora shifted Riku around in his arms a bit as he tried to worm out from under him. Luxord reached in and took Riku's arm and hauled him up before using his free arm to scoop the Carrier up completely. Celia rushed in and patted Riku as dry as they could with his sopping shorts and Sora wiped at his face, attempting to appear somewhat in one piece. He wrung the water out of his underwear as much as he could before standing and taking the towel Roxas was holding out for him. Luxord carted Riku away with Celia on his heels, leaving the brothers to themselves. Sora sniffled a few times as he dried himself off, looking to Roxas helplessly.

"Whatever happened, you can't blame yourself," the blonde said finitely.

"I don't know what to think just yet. I'm just…really scared," Sora said as his eyes became teary again.

"I've been there. But Luxord seems to know what the problem is and he looks pretty confident."

"Yeah. I hope so. I need to get some dry underwear and get dressed. I'll meet you out there in a few," the brunette said and Roxas nodded before leaving.

They met up in the lab. Celia had Juliet by the hand as the girl tried her best to get away and explore. Luxord was typing away at the Catalogue terminal and Riku was laying on an exam table with his arm hooked up to an IV drip and a Link cable trailing from his lips. Sora went to him immediately and looked him over, his hands beginning to shake a bit as he feared the news of whatever Luxord found. The Technician didn't say much for several minutes. Celia took Juliet back to their living quarters and Roxas looked over Luxord's shoulder curiously.

"His fever is gone and we're working on his dehydration problem. He'll be fine," the Technician said and Sora let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"Why is he unconscious, then?" he asked, petting Riku's hair a bit. Luxord looked over his shoulder to him with a strange look.

"You mean you don't—Wh…what do you mean 'why'? He's a cold weather Carrier. That's why," the man said in disbelief. Roxas furrowed his brows together at his brother's puzzled expression.

"Sora, did you not study?" he asked. The brunette looked to him.

"I did, I just…don't completely understand why that's grounds for him passing out and not waking up. Why does that matter? I mean, I get that he doesn't do as well in the heat but _this_? Is he really that sensitive?" he asked, his tone sounding defensive, as if he was being accused of something. Roxas sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Luxord shook his head a bit and finished what he was doing on the Catalogue terminal and turned in his seat.

"How long have you two been Charges?" he asked, looking to each brother in turn. Sora shuffled his foot.

"It'll be three years in September," he said sheepishly. Luxord blinked several times and looked to Roxas.

"See, you I can understand if you didn't know this stuff but him? What the fuck is this bullshit?" he asked angrily, looking to Sora again. "You seriously have _never_ heard of cold weather Carrier's defense systems?"

"Sort of. I know that they exist but like I said, I never really understood," the brunette tried to defend as his guilt compounded itself. Luxord let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed his forehead.

"Fine. I'll spell it out for you, but only this once. If you don't get it after this then I _really_ feel bad for Riku. God forbid something serious happens…" he said. Roxas cleared his throat, warning the Technician to watch his tone and accusations. Luxord waved him off casually. "So, the world we live in is a pretty desolate place, right? For the most part, it's all desert and ocean except for a few select places where there's some plant life. But it's still really fucking hot out there, regardless. Even in the domes, we make it so it's comfortable. We live in nice bubbles with a comfortable temperature but it's still not exactly _cold_ like some of the Carriers like Riku like. We keep them in refrigerated rooms and stuff to sleep in but the rest of the environments are pretty much out of their territory.

In response to all that, when the Technicians started making arctic Carriers and ones that lived in colder climates, they needed to add a bit of a defense system to them if they got overheated. It's sort of the same thing if we put them in a coma or under anesthesia. Their Link gauges their temperature, water level, and how much activity their doing and makes a calculated decision on what to do. If they're overexerting themselves too much it sends a signal to the rest of their body it's time to stop and rest and allow the temperature to drop. You're right when you said he's very sensitive to the heat but his body is aware of it already and tries to keep the balance. If he's doing a lot in a warm environment, his body makes him stop and he… sleeps essentially. Just let him rehydrate and we can wake him up."

"Oh," Sora deadpanned. He was quiet for a second before he let out a dry laugh. "I thought he was dying or something."

"He could have if you weren't there to help him back here. Dying from exposure isn't the best way to go, I imagine," Luxord said. Roxas kicked the leg of the Technicians chair and sent him a glare. Luxord cleared his throat. "Anyway, you know how to wake him up?"

"Uh…" Sora trailed stupidly. Luxord flexed his jaw in the effort it took to keep quiet. He pushed himself out of his seat and went to the cabinet poised next to the Diagnostic Care Center. He shuffled through its contents before pulling out a bottle of blue liquid and a syringe. He punctured the thin metal film with the needle and sucked out a dose before going back to Sora and holding it out to him. The brunette took it and looked at him, trying to hide his confusion behind timid eyes.

"Give him the blue shit once this bag of fluid's in him. Then shock him. He'll wake up."

"…Okay. Thank you," Sora said quietly. Luxord turned and tossed the small bottle into the nearest garbage can and let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Sorry I'm being an ass. It's not in my character to be like this normally. But ignorance is my button and _man_ are you pushing it. I'm going to leave before I get nasty. If you need me I'll be in the cabin."

"Okay," Sora said. Luxord took his leave quietly, opening the door a little too quickly and closing it with a little too much force. The brunette flinched and looked to Roxas. He swallowed thickly. "Am I really that stupid?" he asked.

"I wouldn't say _stupid_ , but ignorant, yes," the blonde said with a small shrug. Sora's expression drooped. "You and I can study when we get home and I'll help you retain it all. You might even be able to help Riku with the project like I help Axel once we're done. We can get you and Ventus done at the same time."

"I would feel better about that if I hadn't already been studying for so long. I'm tired of books. Especially ones without any pictures. I'd probably know the structure of a cell by now if the damn book had given be a graph or something to look at."

"Yeah, they're not the best books I've come across. Really old too, did you notice that?"

"Yeah. Pages falling out and shit."

"The material probably hasn't changed in ages though so I'm not really surprised. But we can get on the internet and find some graphs and stuff to look at, I'm sure," Roxas assured. Sora nodded. There was a brief silence between them. "I talked to Ventus earlier. He wanted you guys to call him."

"Oh. Yeah? What'd he want?" Sora asked.

"He wants to tell you himself. The news isn't very good," the blonde said. The brunette paled a bit.

"Something happened to another one of our Carriers, didn't it?" Sora asked. Roxas blinked a few times.

"How do you figure?"

"I've been paranoid about it since before we left."

"Oh. Well…yeah. It did," the blonde trailed. Sora took a deep breath, his stomach tying in knots.

"Okay."

"Okay? You're alright?"

"I'm not sure yet but… one thing at a time. Riku first, babies in a minute."

"You're stronger than I am, then. Axel and I would be a couple of blubbering idiots by this point."

"Yeah well…I'm sort of used to it by now," Sora said dully. Roxas scowled.

"That's sort of a scary concept."

"Yeah it is. But if you think about it, this is probably the closet that two gay guys could get to having a miscarriage. That, to me, is even scarier."

"I never thought about it like that. That's really morbid, Sora."

"I know. Maybe that's why I can never retain any of my studies. I'm off in dreamland all the time, thinking of the weird shit no one else thinks about."

"That's a very real possibility," Roxas said. Sora nodded. "You'll be alright though?"

"Once I can wake Riku up and talk to him about it, I'll be okay."

"Alright. I'm here if you need me. Did you want to call Ventus then?"

"We will in a minute. Maybe in the morning. Right now, though, could you give us a minute?"

"Yeah. I'll be in the cabin if you need me," Roxas said, Sora nodded again. The blonde left quietly. Once he was gone, Sora set the syringe on Riku's stomach and ran a hand over his face. The guilt and the haunting of their compatibility percentage hung in the air around him like a suffocating tent, making him feel nauseated and tense. He had given himself a false sense of security when things between Riku and he were getting better, that they were okay therefore the Carriers would be okay. But the samples the Carriers came from were still 'tainted' in Sora's mind, with the negative feelings he had towards Riku and that it was his own fault for any deaths along the way. That concept was more upsetting than the death itself. He understood there would be losses along the way.

He looked to the bag of IV fluid and wanted to cry because it was only half empty.

* * *

Xigbar was getting worried. Mary insisted that bleeding during a pregnancy was normal. Spotting was almost expected. He knew that, but as he ran yet _another_ load of Mary's underwear and pants through the washing machine, he became suspicious. The woman had gone through dozens of pairs of undergarments during the course of her pregnancy, hiding most of it from Xigbar by doing them herself, but it eventually got to the point where _every_ load was stained somehow. The canine Carrier pretended to be indifferent. So long as Mary wasn't worried, he wouldn't push her. The ultrasounds were almost always inconclusive for seeing problems with the baby because he always had his back to the camera, so to speak. At the very least they knew his butt was healthy.

Mary wasn't in any pain so she didn't see the problem. Some of her daughters had bleeding during their pregnancies with their natural offspring and it was never a problem before. Of course, Mary wasn't there all day every day during the entire process so she didn't realize how much bleeding they actually had over the entire course. For all she knew they could've been isolated incidents that stopped at one point, but when it progressed into her seventh month, she was a little alarmed. Her worry became even more prevalent when she noticed an increase of tiny gray pieces escaping her.

Mary's baby was never very active. From the beginning, all he would do was float around in his comfy warm sac and absorb nutrients like a good little fetus. He hardly kicked, and when he did, it was never enough to feel from the outside, but just a gentle slosh from the inside that would startle his mother a little bit but settle down after. Mary often had the mental imagery of her baby just hanging out, using the umbilical cord like a swing to rock back and forth, probably a beer in one hand and the game on the TV, just relaxing and growing like he was supposed to. But everything changed once she hit the thirty week mark.

Mary was attempting to clean out another pair of soiled underwear, the little gray pieces having congealed into little gray _chunks_ over the course of two days. She was scheduled for another ultrasound in the afternoon and she was nervous of what they would find. She teetered around the house as delicately as she could, took the stairs as gently as possible, and didn't lift anything, just in case. Xigbar was right behind her every step of the way, waiting for anything she may need or what she may ask of him. Mary's back had been bothering her since the day before and he was concerned.

In the middle of preparing a light snack between breakfast and lunch, a searing pain shot through Mary's gut, causing her to drop her plate and have it shatter on the floor in front of her with a strong gasp. She immediately gripped her middle as she couldn't help but scream. Xigbar was there in an instant, trying to pull her upright so he could look her over. When she could stand and threatened to fall into the glass littering the floor, he scooped her up and carried her to the living room. He set her on the couch gently and rushed to their Catalogue Terminal, dialing the emergency number as fast as his fingers would allow him. While call went though, he glanced back at Mary, and he paled. The front of her pants had an enormous red spot that was quickly seeping onto their couch and growing bigger by the second.

In the back of his mind, he couldn't decide if he was happy or not.


	93. Chapter 93

**Chapter 93**

Sora stood like a board off to the side of the exam table where Riku lay, an electric probe in his hand, poised and ready. He really didn't want to shock the Carrier. It didn't seem like it would be very fun, let alone a decent, way to wake up. Regardless, he wanted Riku awake more than his level of dislike of the probe. He inched towards the Carrier bit by bit and lowered his hand slowly, gritting his teeth in his anxiousness. There was a loud ' _clack_ ' as the electricity met Riku's skin, and the Carrier jolted visibly. His eyes flew open with a deep inhale just as their color died away and his hair lost its silvery sheen. Sora clicked the probe off and dropped it on the floor and threw himself onto the Carrier in hysterical relief, half his body hanging off the table. Riku grunted loudly under Sora's weight.

"Oh my god!" the brunette squealed as his buried his face in Riku's stomach and burst into tears. It took several minutes for the Carrier to remember what happened but when he did, he heaved a heavy sigh and pushed himself up to balance on his elbows. Sora noticed the movement and pulled his face up to look at Riku long enough to register his alertness. He quickly launched himself at the Carrier's neck, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him tightly. "You scared me!" he cried.

"I'm sorry," Riku said quietly, his voice cracking from the effort. He draped one arm around Sora's back as best he could in a tired attempt to reciprocate the brunette's feelings. He felt like garbage. He was tired, hot, and his arm was still tingling where he was shocked. Sora's crushing enthusiasm wasn't helping but he couldn't bring himself to push the brunette away.

"I thought you were dying and then Luxord called me stupid because I didn't understand and then you were okay and oh my god! I'm so relieved!" his Charge sputtered quickly. Riku blearily blinked a few times as the groggy gears in his mind started to turn.

"I thought you understood what I meant when I said I needed to sit, I didn't know you were in the dark. I'm sorry I scared you. I'll try not to let it happen agai—"

"It's not your fault, don't apologize!" Sora said and let go of the Carrier and stood straight, sniffling back a noseful of snot and tears. Riku gave him a defeated expression as his guilt dredged itself up in renewal. He reached into his mouth and unplugged his Link and sat up properly, looking at his palms.

"I should've pushed you more with your studies. I didn't realize I had let you get so far behind."

"Stop it. It's my own fault for not focusing enough," Sora retorted with a bit of spite. Riku's constant moping and apologizing for things he couldn't control was getting tiresome. He pulled up his shirt and used it to wipe his face. The Carrier didn't look at him, which frustrated the brunette more. Riku's mind though, was running a mile a minute. He didn't know how he should react to Sora's tears; what was appropriate and what wasn't. His mind was a still in the beginning stages of waking up, which wasn't helping either. There was a moment of silence between them as the air grew awkward, making the Carrier wish he could rewind to only a couple hours before where the atmosphere was harmonious again. "I'm happy you're okay though. Really _really_ happy," the brunette trailed quietly. The Carrier glanced to him before refocusing on the lines in his hands.

"I appreciate the concern."

"…That's all you have to say?"

 _No_ , Riku thought to himself. "I can't think of much else if you won't allow me to apologize anymore," he lied. There was so much more he wanted to say. Meaningless poetic connotations expressing just how much Sora's concern made him happy. That it sounded like Sora loved him and that the worry was genuine and was more than just worry for a friend who could've died. Riku desperately wanted to gather the brunette in his arms and quell his tears under thousands of kisses and _I love yous_. But he couldn't. Not without making Sora feel strange and awkward.

Unbeknownst to Riku though, Sora was already thinking about it. The visions of a possible funeral were still painfully fresh and they brought new unbridled tears to his eyes even though the chaos was over. There was still so much more he hoped Riku would say to fill the silence just so he wouldn't drown himself in his own thoughts. His chest felt like it had imploded in on itself and left a gaping hole where his heart had been the more he thought about it. He didn't understand what he was feeling very well and the frustration ripped and clawed at him. So much pain. Such pure _anguish_ for what could've been. Had he cared a little more, he felt he would've understood more of his studies. The idea that he wasted the last two years wandering listlessly hurt him deeper than he ever could've imagined. His ignorance could've killed Riku, and after mentally stabbing himself with the idea, Sora concluded that was something he couldn't live with. Hurting Riku in any way wasn't okay regardless of initial intention. But in order to fix things, he had to start with the biggest problem.

Sora climbed onto the small space in front of Riku on the table without much warning. The Carrier scooted back to give him more room, a confused glimmer shooting through his colorless eyes. Before he could get very far though, Sora clamped himself onto his torso, hugging him tightly as he pulled the rest of his legs onto the table and balanced his back half on his knees. The positioning was very odd and there wasn't much Riku could do in response. All he could see was the top of Sora's head and a line all the way down his back before it disappeared over his rump.

"I'm tired of hurting you," the brunette said sadly, sniffling back a few stray tears. "I'm tired of being a bad Charge, and taking advantage of you. I'm tired of hurting myself and beating myself up because I can't understand why it hurts so much to be around you sometimes. A lot of the times, I push it all away because it's weird and I don't understand it, but it only ends up hurting whenever I do that. And like…isn't pain supposed to be the universal sign that it's not good and not okay? So if I just accept it and stop letting it bother me, it should stop the pain and I'll be okay, right?" he asked rhetorically, pulling back and balancing himself on all fours on the table's surface. He found it difficult to keep eye contact with the Carrier but he didn't stop talking, even after his cheeks turned about six different shades of red. "I don't even know why I pushed the weird stuff away. Maybe because I didn't get it and it confused me and I was scared of it, but… I don't…I want…to…maybe…"

"Sora?" Riku interrupted when the brunette's tone drifted. His Charge looked at him through pieces of his hair with an uneasy expression. "You don't have to force yourself for my sake. I would like you to think more bef—"

"I'm not forcing myself. I'm just trying to let it happen and not let it… scare me so much, I guess. I just want to be happy. I want _you_ to be happy," he blurted as more frustrated tears swelled up along his eyelids. We wiped them away quickly before scooting closer to the Carrier and hugging him around his neck again. He hung on Riku tightly, his knees coming under him and curling onto the table some. "I want us to be happy together. I'm tired of the roller coaster because I feel like I have to barf. I want to get off and stand on the solid ground and just…be stable. Be happy and stable. I'll study harder and I'll learn all the stuff and make sure we can have healthy Carriers and so that I can take care of you when you need me to. Like I should've done a long time ago. I'm so sorry it took me so long but… I love you, Riku."

Riku's heart stopped for a few seconds. He stared ahead of himself for several minutes in disbelief. Sora's tears broke free of his eyes and dripped down his face as his Carrier's silence grew deafening. Slowly but surely, Riku's mind figured out what was happening. His hands started to shake as he reached up and wrapped his arms around Sora's chest. The brunette let out a breath and shifted his legs around so he could open them and wrap them around Riku's waist. The Carrier's legs came up and folded around him, pulling Sora as close as they could possibly be. It felt too good to be true, but Riku couldn't bring himself to call the brunette a liar. All words left him as he clung to Sora in an almost desperate attempt to keep from shattering into a million pieces.

"Riku?" Sora asked, picking his face up from the Carrier's shoulder and attempted to look at him. Riku kept his face turned away from his, tucked against Sora's shoulder.

"Yes?" he whispered in response, his vocal cords working at half capacity.

"Did…did I do it wrong? Why won't you say anything?"

"I'm in shock, give me a moment."

"Oh. Okay," Sora said. He wiped at his eyes and sniffled a few times before rehugging the Carrier, one of his hands going up to pet his colorless hair. Riku's arms around him tightened a bit as he heaved a heavy relieved sigh. The brunette waited patiently for the Carrier to pull himself together. Eventually, Riku sat up and looked Sora in the eye. His Charge looks at him sheepishly, his cheeks bright pink.

"Do you really mean that?" Riku asked. The brunette gave a tiny nod.

"Yeah," he said quietly. Riku pulled his hands up and combed them through the chocolate spikes a few times, letting the surrealism of the moment to sink in. He took Sora's face in his hands and coaxed him to look into his colorless eyes fully. His Charge's cheeks burned several shades of red, but Riku gave him a smile. A small, but genuine smile. The Carrier leaned forward enough to give the brunette a chaste kiss. Sora leaned forward some, expecting more, but Riku held him in place and hesitated a bit. The Charge was becoming anxious. Riku's halting actions were beginning to scare him and he was under the impression the Carrier didn't believe him. Riku himself was having a similar battle, but as he gave his Charge another kiss, it hurt too much to think about. He let the overly cautious feelings slide, feeling considerably better as he let them go. He would worry about being hurt again later. He didn't want to ruin things because of something that wasn't guaranteed to happen, even if the uncertainty scared him.

"I love you too, Sora," he said finally, and his Charge let out a sigh. Their lips met again, Riku's hands falling away to hug the brunette close again. Sora's arms tightened around his neck, a flurry of electricity flowing between them excitedly. The air seemed so much lighter and for several minutes, all that mattered in the world was his lips against Riku's. Hands began to wander and fingers dove under clothes. But before things could progress very far, Riku pulled away. "Wait," he said hoarsely. Sora pouted a bit.

"What is it?" he asked. Riku looked thoughtful for a moment, tugging the brunette's fingers out of the tops of his shorts.

"We'll be home in a few days. Do you think we can wait until then? I'd like us to celebrate in our own space if you get what I mean. Less eyes to pop in and get in our business," he said. Sora sighed a bit but nodded. He unceremoniously adjusted himself in his shorts causing the Carrier to chuckle a bit.

"Yeah, I can wait. I sort of agree now that I think about it," he said and smiled. Riku smiled back.

"I appreciate that."

"I suppose this gives us an opportunity to call Ventus, then," Sora said sadly.

"Ventus?"

"Yeah…Roxas said to call him."

"Oh. Well I suppose we could. I should reset my colors first though," Riku agreed. Sora nodded and shuffled off the table stiffly. The Carrier was a little suspicious in his Charge's sudden change in demeanor but decided to not ask.

* * *

Riku and Sora came back to the cabin several hours later, looking a little upset but not hysteric. Roxas watched them disappear into their makeshift bedroom where they stayed for the remainder of the day. The blonde decided not to bother them, the sounds of light sniffling coming from Sora being a major deterrent. He didn't enjoy seeing his brother cry. So long as Riku was there to offer support, he felt better about it. Their voices were hushed and they obviously wanted to be left alone, in his mind. It didn't help his boredom though and he mentally flipped through topics of discussion he could bring up with Celia since the woman was buzzing around the kitchen again, just a few feet away . He could only come up with one idea but he'd have to tread lightly to keep it civil.

"Celia?" he asked. She looked to him curiously, a half chopped carrot in her hand.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Do you know a lot about the way stuff works? Like earpieces and stuff? I've been thinking about it a lot and I don't really understand how we can hear Carriers without them talking at the same time. Do they lose control of their vocal cords or something?" he asked, wondering if the earpiece function during sex was limited to Marluxia because of something unique to his Implant, or if it was universal. He hoped she had the answer.

"Ah. Well it's a bit tricky. You know their Link controls a lot of things, yes? When in their Primal form, they still have a human mind with human communication capabilities but not the physical things they need for human speech, right? We have two things that happen when we talk. We think of the words and move our vocal cords and shape the words with our mouths. Well the earpiece interrupts the physical part of the action of talking. When Carriers are attached to the earpiece, the talking goes through the neurons in their brain and still sends the thought process through the mind, but instead of making it to the throat and those mechanics there, it gets sent out into the earpiece as per the Link's instruction and it's translated into sound in the earpiece's sound chip. In reality, they're using all the same actions as talking, but the sound isn't heard outside of the earpiece. It's not like you're reading their thoughts directly and can know what they're thinking. It's a very specific target," Celia explained.

"Oh," Roxas blurted, having expected a more obscure description. "So it's the same regardless of Carrier or form? Like if I plugged into Axel's Implant, he wouldn't be able to talk?"

"Right. That's correct," Celia said with a smile. She blushed a little and turned back to her carrot with extra interest.

"That's handy," the blonde joked. The woman let out a short nervous laugh.

"It has its uses, yes."

* * *

Axel was getting tired and he was starting to feel the need to change back. It wasn't pressing or growing into urgent yet, but the ache was just creeping in. He had started heading back towards the camp a while ago and he was most of the way there. He had spent the better part of two days searching without success. Marluxia's kin were too elusive, so he was heading back with an unsatisfied stomach. He was a bit discouraged, but to keep himself in better spirits, he hummed various songs from Roxas' plane to himself. He had heard a vast array of music during his stay in Radiant Garden and the genres were all over the place. He was currently halfway through _Guns N' Roses'_ song _Welcome to the Jungle_ and he had to stop himself. He froze in place when he realized the horrible string of puns he had created for himself.

_Guns N' Roses_

Axl Rose

_Welcome to the Jungle_

Axel

Jungle

He had to laugh. If only a little. He decided to keep that one to himself and save himself a bit of face. If Roxas had ever found out about that one he was sure the blonde would never let him live it down. His trek continued with much less classic 80's music filtering through his head after that point. He was still bored though. Had been bored since he left the camp, but it had doubled to almost crippling stature when he started heading back. Looking at the same trees more than once got dull very quickly. He was almost a half a mile away from camp when he heard rustling in the leaves a few yards to his right. He looked towards the disturbance and saw a small group of boars milling about in the foliage. Axel's brain clicked into hunting mode immediately and he crouched down behind a small tree quickly.

The group slowly headed towards his hiding place, snouts to the dirt, sniffing hurriedly. There was a male and at least three females with a small troupe of piglets. Axel's hungry stomach gurgled happily at the proposition of a pork dinner and he waited patiently for the boars to draw near. He waited. And waited. And waited. And waited as they dug around in the underbrush, going about their day peacefully. Axel's patience was wearing thin as the ache to change became more incessant. He wanted to get back to the cabin and curl up with Roxas, but his hunger wasn't to be ignored. The boars inched closer and closer until they were practically standing on top of him. Axel lunged forward, bringing a huge paw out and hooking it around the male's midsection and pulling it towards his open jaws. The others scattered with a flurry of frightened squeals, the male kicking wildly. Axel clamped his teeth around its throat wand waited for the kicking to stop.

It was over in a matter of minutes and Axel grabbed a leg and started dragging his prize towards camp. He felt obligated to bring Riku something since his friend was kind enough to share his goat. It wasn't a huge boar, but he hoped it was enough for a light snack at the very least. By the time the camp was in sight though, he was in a lot of pain as he forced himself to stay in his Primal form. He resigned himself to changing back, dropping the boar several yards into the forest near the clearing for the camp. He lay in the underbrush for several minutes, letting his body adjust and his joints stop hurting. When he was reasonably satisfied, he stood on wobbly legs and teetered towards the cabin. It was the middle of the day but no one was outside that he could see. He just hoped Celia wasn't standing in the middle of the room when he opened the door.

Inching the door open slowly, he stuck his face inside the cabin and was greeted by an empty space. Heaving a relieved sigh, he tiptoed into the building, heading directly for the bathroom. Both of them were occupied and he groaned a bit and headed back towards his and Roxas' bedroom area. The blonde was on the bed with his nose to his tablet, and his back to the entrance. Axel saw the golden opportunity and snuck up behind his Charge silently. He quickly slid into the bed, his hand outstretched and poised for when he had the opportunity to slide it down the front of Roxas' pants. The blonde gasped and let out a surprised squeal, his tablet being tossed several feet in front of him. Axel started laughing immediately and Roxas quieted.

"Asshole!" the Charge bellowed and sent his elbow backwards into the redhead's side. Axel grunted but his laughter continued. He nuzzled his face into the back of Roxas' neck and wiggled his fingers under the fabric teasingly. Roxas let out an exasperated sigh.

"I'm so happy you missed me. I missed you too," the Carrier said and kissed the base of Roxas' skull several times. The blonde pulled away enough to roll over and look at him. Axel grinned wide and Roxas smiled a bit.

"Hello naked," Roxas said.

"Hello."

"How goes the hunt?"

"Not so good. I didn't find any of Marluxia's kind but I got a pig. Pigs are good."

"Oh. Well that wasn't exactly the point but at least you ate something, right?"

"Ah… no. I had to change back. I will in a little bit."

"Oh. Still hungry?"

"Famished."

"You could eat something here."

"But I have a pig."

"Right and we have food here."

"But it's not my pig."

"…Alright fine. Starve."

"I will until I can change again and eat my pig," Axel said happily with a cheery smile. Roxas shrugged it off and scooted closer and pressed himself against the Carrier comfortably. The redhead hugged him close and let out a comfortable sigh. "I really did miss you though. I was bored out of my skull," he said. Roxas nodded in agreement and hugged him back.

"Yeah, me too. I'm glad you're safe."

"Me too, actually. I like… you know, breathing and stuff. It's nice," Axel said as he felt something strange in his mouth move around. He moved his tongue around before pushing it towards the front of his teeth. He stuck his fingers in between his lips and pulled out a hair and grimaced. Roxas blinked and looked at it.

"What is that?" he asked.

"Pig hair," the redhead said flatly before turning his arm around and dropping the hair off the edge of the bed behind him. Roxas scowled.

"Okay gross. I was going to give you a kiss but I've decided against it."

"I tried to go brush my teeth, but the bathrooms are occupied. I'm not offended in the least. I wouldn't kiss me right now, either."

"Glad we agree. Did you find Luxord yet?"

"Uh, no. I'm pretty sure he would appreciate it if I found some pants first."

"Good point. Did you want to do that now, then?"

"Oh, I don't know," Axel sighed lazily and pursed his lips in thought. "I'm kind of all the way exhausted. I may just take a nap since I'm already halfway into position. Is that okay?"

"I don't mind. I may join you."

"I'd like that," the redhead smiled. Roxas nodded and sat up to pull the blanket out from under them both. Axel moved out of the way and scooted underneath and settled in again. Roxas pulled off his shirt and followed suit, curling up against his Carrier comfortably. Axel's arms around him were heavy and warm, making sleep and inevitable venture. The Carrier fell asleep almost instantly, his face partially buried in the blonde's hair, his deep even breaths pushing the hairs around in a repetitive cycle that eventually became soothing. Roxas drifted off shortly thereafter. But they couldn't get more than an hour's worth of peace.

Marluxia came back safe and sound and quickly started a heated discussion with Celia in the main living area. Juliet was happy to see her father again and squealed and carried on to pull his attention to her. Roxas glared at Axel's collar bones, which was the only thing in view. The redhead was dead to the world though, which he was thankful for. According to Marluxia though, he couldn't find any of his kin either, regardless of how much he called for them. No empty nests, no trails, no scents, just an empty hole where they were supposed to go. He was thoroughly confused, as was Celia. Luxord eventually came in halfway through their discussion and the story repeated itself. The adults left together, taking Juliet with them, to fill out reports. No one bothered Roxas and Axel and the blonde couldn't help but wonder if it was because they didn't want to disturb anything or if they didn't even realize Axel was there. It didn't matter though, as it allowed Roxas to drift off to sleep again.

* * *

Saïx's accountant wasn't making any friends. He was a small mousy man, and wasn't aware of Saïx's Carrier side. He was completely clueless as to where the money came from whenever it did come in, but kept the books and the accounts up to date without question. That was probably the only reason the Technician kept him around. His type of ignorance was valuable. But his worth was going to quickly become insignificant.

"Come in, tell me the good word," Saïx said blandly as he opened the front door for the accountant. The man had been one of the few people in his house since Xemnas' death since Saïx preferred to deal with money matters in person with far less ears to listen in. The accountant followed him into the study quietly and they sat around Saïx's enormous desk. The books were opened on the accountant's tablet and the review started. All was fine for about twenty minutes until Saïx found a grievous error.

"Something the matter, sir?" the accountant asked when the Technician's posture stiffened and his face turned stony. Saïx used his finger to scroll through the pages of information until he got to the beginning where the account number was.

"The latest deposit is in the wrong account," Saïx said flatly, turning suddenly electric eyes to his accountant. The man across from him paled.

"W-which was it supposed to go in?" the other asked. The Technician poked away at the tablet to a new account that he had created specifically for the money from his current hunts. Only he and the accountant had access to it and it was filed under a false name. The account the money was currently in was the one in Xemnas' name that Ansem was pulling money from for all of the upgrades and project happenings. Saïx himself had nothing in his name, since he was a Carrier. His original plan was to keep his money away from the main account and slowly deposit it in so that the amount never looked suspicious. A sudden influx of millions of Credits would surely attract attention, as was the case now. His blood was boiling and he made no effort to hide the rage from his face. His accountant shrunk down in his chair a little.

"I told you to put it in the new one," he said flatly.

"I'm sorry, Sir. It's been the same for so many years; it's become a habit for me. I didn't even realize the mistake until you told me. I swear to you that I will handle it when the banks reopen on Monday."

"Monday?" Saïx bellowed suddenly, the man flinched. "How about you fix this now?!"

"I'm sorry! I-it's too late today to do anything and they're closed all weekend! T-there's nothing I can do at the moment! This much money needs to be handled in person! The electronic system won't allow anything!" the accountant cried in defense. Saïx slammed his fists on the desk and stood from his chair, glowering over the surface as the mousy man shrunk down more in his seat.

"Do you realize what you've done?" Saïx screamed. For the accountant to be able to balance the books, the money has to be in the account itself and finalized. That meant that the money had to be sitting there for at least a couple days before the accountant came to his home. It was more than enough time for Ansem to notice. His accountant was frozen in his seat, speechless, proving his worthlessness further and Saïx's anger grew exponentially.

The doorbell rang. Saïx's urge to beat the man's face in subsided just enough to being back the rational thought needed to leave the study to answer. He straightened his hair and clothing as well as his poise before pulling the door open. It was Ansem, as if he was acting on a script. They stared at each other for a brief moment, both of them knowing _exactly_ why Ansem was there.

"Hello Saïx," the elder Technician said calmly.

"Ansem," the Carrier said flatly. He noticed no one was with Ansem and he felt reasonably confident about that.

"I would like to discuss something with you. May I come in?"

"Yes, of course," Saïx said and stepped aside. Ansem walked in and looked around. The dust peeling off the walls was a bit upsetting. He had no idea what the home had become and his heart ached for his comrade. It was obvious to him that Saïx was ailing, even if the matter of his visit depicted otherwise. He had seen it before. Carriers become attached to their Charges, regardless of outward appearances. It doesn't change the fact that Saïx went through the ringer for Xemnas like all Carriers do. Watching someone grow from birth and spending their lives together may not have boasted any sort of romantic inclinations but the bond was still there whether Saïx wanted to admit it or not. Ansem pitied him.

They walked together to Saïx's study where the accountant was, flipping through his tablet. Ansem took a seat and Saïx replaced himself behind the desk. Ansem pulled out his own tablet and flipped through countless documents before he eventually landed on the bank statement tied to the account under Xemnas' name. He set it on the desk and pushed it towards the Carrier. Saïx only glanced at it, remaining silent.

"Where did the money come from, Saïx?" Ansem asked. The accountant shrunk in his seat again, the gravity of what his mistake had caused coming full circle for him. The Carrier shrugged nonchalantly,

"Didn't you have your bookkeepers check that before coming here? Why should I believe your ignorance?" Saïx spat.

"We tried but our resources were being wasted when we realized we were just going through about six different transfer unions. I figured I'd come to the source and ask. I expected some money, but not so much. So I'll ask again. Where did the money come from?"

"That's a very good question," the accountant chimed. Saïx's acidic eyes turned to him but he didn't flinch away. His confidence was growing now that someone else was there to direct that anger away from him.

"Even your accountant doesn't know? How strange. Care to answer?" Ansem asked.

"It's none of your business. Why should it matter to you? You get to prance around with your animal friends as much as you like with what I provide. Why, all of a sudden, is it a problem? It never was in the past," Saïx said.

"The difference now is that I'm not blind. I don't trust you as far as I can throw you anymore and in my advanced age, that's not very far. Where did the money come from?" Ansem repeated.

"Why is it that it takes people to die for you to wake up and feel the slap across your face? The money has come from where the rest of it has. It's nothing new."

"You expect me to believe that this comes from research results? What results? I haven't heard anything worthwhile from you in months."

"Nothing's changed, Ansem. It's the same as it always has been."

"Are you saying you're involved in Xemnas' drug testing? Are you marketing his products? If that's the case, I need to have you arrested for fraudulent reproduction since all of that is in my name now."

"No. I haven't touched any drugs."

"So, what else does that leave? Are you whoring yourself?"

"No."

"Extortion?"

"No."

"Counterfeit?"

"No."

"Identity theft?"

"No."

"Well it must be _something_ ," Ansem urged. "Four million Credits don't just appear out of nowhere. There needs to be a source."

"Why can't you just accept that the money is the same as it's always been?" Saïx asked. "Nothing's changed—" he was cut off when Ansem's fist slammed into the desktop.

"Enough dancing around, Saïx! I'm not some ignorant fool for you to try and manipulate! Now tell me the truth because there are only a few things in this world that would allow for this much money to happen so quickly! Do not let me come to my own conclusions because you may not like the result!"

"Are you threatening me?" Saïx spat amusedly. The silence loomed over them all for several minutes.

"Yes," Ansem said quietly. The Carrier snorted and started to laugh. The elder Technician had heard enough. He stood and stuffed his hand in his pocket to retrieve his cell phone. Dialing quickly, he pressed the phone to his ear. Saïx stopped laughing and watched him curiously.

"What are you doing?" he asked, a deep scowl across his face. Ansem ignored him.

"Yes, Technician's license number one, Ansem. I'd like to report an instance of poaching, please," Ansem said idly, heading out of the study and into the main library. Saïx's eyes went wide and he bounded out of his seat quickly. Ansem was making his way towards the front entrance, talking away into his phone, his anger just barely being kept in check. Saïx caught up to him easily and snatched the phone out of his hand. The elder Technician startled and turned just in time to see it being crushed in Saïx's strong hands.

"You're not reporting anything," he spat icily at Ansem, who simply raised a brow in return.

"Not at the moment, no. But I will be. I have no other option, Saïx. There is no other explanation for the money. I'm thoroughly disappointed. You obviously have no remorse."

"Of course I don't! Why do you feel such compassion for such hideous beings? They're only good for the money that people will pay for them! The world is fine the way it is, no one else seems to give a damn about _nature_ and _animals_! These disgusting creatures have no right to exist!"

"I find it troubling that you'd speak about yourself in such a way."

"I am not like them! I never have been and I never will be!" Saïx screamed, his rage boiling out of pores like an invisible cloud, strangling his senses and making him angrier. Ansem sighed. His pity compounded itself and he decided not to argue. It didn't matter how Saïx saw himself. It didn't matter that his delusions of independence and the superiority complex had overcome him and turned him into someone Ansem didn't recognize. The fact that Saïx wasn't denying the poaching accusation solidified Ansem's theory for him and obliterated any innocent thought he felt toward his used-to-be friend. He started walking towards the door again. Saïx watched him for a moment, the severity of the situation plowing into him and hazing over his judgment even more. "You can't do this to me!" he cried and rushed at Ansem.

The elder Technician didn't have much time to react. Even if he had several more seconds, he wouldn't have been able to overpower Saïx. The Carrier's hands closed over Ansem's throat with bruising, crushing force. His airway collapsed almost instantly and breathless squeaks escaped him. Ansem's hands flew up to claw at Saïx's in a failing attempt to free himself. Golden eyes seared themselves into his vision and the Carrier held steady and waited for the struggling to stop. It was over in a few minutes and Saïx let Ansem's lifeless body flop to the floor without a word.

The accountant had watched it all with wordless shock. With shaking hands he pulled out his own cell phone and dialed the police.


	94. Chapter 94

**Chapter 94**

"I'm not entirely sure what the problem is, you guys, but I can notify Ansem and get back to you on it," Luxord said the next morning as his fingers typed away diligently on the Catalogue keyboard. After the reports were finished, they didn't have much else to do. The series of events surrounding Marluxia's missing kin were mysterious, to be sure, but they weren't violent as far as anyone could tell. No other camps in the dome had reported any poachings in several months, but they did report seeing the birds as early as the week before. It was entirely possible that they were just in the wrong camp at the wrong time. After hearing all that, Marluxia's nerves were settled considerably and peace reigned supreme amongst his family again.

Riku and Axel partook of a fantastic pork breakfast early in the morning and washed and scrubbed accordingly afterward. No more stray pig hairs were found on Axel's person, which Roxas was grateful for. Sora and Riku weren't forthcoming with their recent relationship developments. They both figured it wasn't really anyone's business what they did but Sora felt a little strange for keeping quiet. Riku didn't exactly mind if anyone knew, but it was just an odd subject to bring up in general conversation. All he could think to say to anyone who asked how he was feeling was a simple 'everything's perfect' and let the rest slide. Sora figured he'd just spill his guts to Ventus once they were home since the older blonde was probably the only one who wouldn't be weirded out by his outburst.

Pictures were taken. Lots of them. Plants, bugs, the people, everything was captured behind the lens of Roxas and Axel's camera for future reminiscing. Juliet was more than happy to sit still for a few seconds while they were being taken and Marluxia requested copies afterward. Roxas agreed and spent a couple hours tossing most of them up on the Charge forum for other people to ogle. The flood of positive feedback made him smile.

They would be leaving in the morning. Riku was probably the most happiest with that decision. Since Marluxia and Axel didn't have anything of worth to report, they were technically leaving early. There wasn't much they could do and Luxord's responsibilities were limited since he wasn't assigned to that ecosystem dome itself. The other Technicians stationed there would finish their work and figure out a solution to the problem, if there was a problem to fix. For Roxas and Axel though, the idea of leaving was bittersweet. They were going to spend almost eleven hours in a plane without a comfy hotel stay in between. Two flights in the same day that were just under six hours a piece didn't sound promising but they were eager to get home and start working again.

"Musk is limited to mammals, Roxas," Axel explained quietly as they settled in for their last night at the ecosystem. The blonde had expressed his concern with trying out the earpiece idea. Regardless of whether or not anyone could hear them, the smell would be there. "Marluxia doesn't have one like I do. He smells like his Totem but it doesn't go past whatever the norm is when he sweats because his Totem doesn't secrete anything like mine or any other mammals do. He probably has some degree of pheromones or whatever, but he doesn't use scent to find his kin. He uses his voice. So…I mean, unless I wear fifteen tons of deodorant, it's going to happen. Sorry."

"It's not like you can help it. I'm not upset. I was just trying to figure out why he didn't and you did, was all. At this point though, I kind of like your smell," Roxas whispered. They were laying together peacefully, the redhead on his back and the blonde on his stomach. The Charge welcomed himself to laying his cheek on the Carrier's chest. Axel chuckled a bit and combed his fingers through Roxas' hair.

"I like your smell too."

"I don't smell…"

"Not bad, anyway."

"I'm really not sure how I should take that."

"As a compliment, of course. That was my intention."

"…If you say so," Roxas trailed with furrowed brows. Axel smiled and let his hand drop out the golden follicles and come to rest on the blonde's arm. He ran his thumb over his Charge's skin gently and Roxas leaned against him comfortably. "Should we try?" he asked. The redhead shrugged.

"That's up to you."

"I at least want to try the earpiece part even if we stop there."

"Okay," Axel agreed. Roxas scooted across the bed on his stomach and leaned over the edge, bent at the waist. The Carrier watched him curiously; the blonde's naked legs and hind end the only thing he could see. He had the sudden urge to take a picture so he could have it framed and hung in their bedroom. He would name it _Roxas: in Repose_ and present it to the masses just in case the blonde ever had a closed casket funeral. The thought of people's reactions to that was enough to bring a smile to his face and it remained there until the blonde popped back up, his earpiece successfully retrieved from his bag. He kept the idea to himself though. He didn't think it was particularly sexy to bring up funeral plans. Roxas scooted back to him and held out the end of the cord to him. Axel took it and plugged it into his Link obediently and the Charge fixed the receiver on his ear.

"Well?" Roxas asked quietly. Axel made a disgruntled face.

" _I never realized the cord was this thick. It feels weird_ ," the redhead said without moving his jaw. He played with the cord a bit, tossing it around with his tongue. It felt so much thinner all the times before but then again, his mouth was also much bigger on a regular day. It wasn't so thick that it was cumbersome, but it was definitely thicker than a Catalogue line. Roxas smiled.

"It works though," he said. Axel nodded.

" _I didn't really doubt it. It makes sense._ "

"Yeah."

" _So what now?_ "

"I'm not really sure."

" _Well, I don't know about you, but there's only a few things we can do while in bed together. And I'm okay with doing them, but you're not giving me the impression you're all the way comfortable._ "

"…Apprehensive."

" _Understandable._ "

"Do you think anyone will wake up from the smell?"

" _That's a tough one, honestly. It's not like olfactory senses are disabled once you fall asleep though auditory ones may be stronger. I suppose it would depend on the person. I'm pretty sure Luxord's dead regardless though. He seems like a log._ "

"Yeah…" Roxas trailed thoughtfully.

" _Sorry I'm kind of ruining the fantasy._ "

"You can't help it."

" _I have the ability to stop my sweat glands much like I can my nerves but then I wouldn't sweat and that's dangerous. I'm not willing to do that._ "

"I wouldn't want you to."

" _Yeah. But did you still want to try?_ "

"I'm not sure. I _really_ want to but I'm kind of…I don't know…scared? Almost?"

" _That's cute. You're so not as voyeuristic as I would like you to be sometimes_ ," Axel said with a low chuckle reverberating into the earpiece. Roxas let out a frustrated groan and leaned forward to rest his forehead on the redhead's chest. They were both horrendously backed up. The bathroom doors didn't have locks at this particular camp and Juliet had a tendency to not knock when she decided she wanted in. Roxas and Axel (as well as everyone else for that matter) had been walked in on at least once trying to use the bathroom innocently and were too horrified to try anything inappropriate. It wasn't so much Juliet herself that was terrifying but with how closely Celia followed after her. The child probably wouldn't be able to recall the instances in the future, but Celia surely had them stored whether she wanted to or not. Consequently, that meant nothing romantic happening for the last few days. Axel's hand started combing through the blonde's hair again.

"Yeah, I know. I hate it. I wish I could get past it."

" _Oh come on. We'll be home tomorrow. It's fine. No worries._ "

"I know," Roxas huffed with a deep sigh. Axel chuckled again and reached into his mouth to unplug the earpiece. He wound the cord up neatly before setting it aside and turning onto his side. Roxas scooted up to him and curled up against his chest. The redhead hugged him close and kissed his hair. "I'm sorry," the blonde groaned. Axel rubbed his back comfortingly.

"It's okay. Just one more day."

* * *

The next morning was chaotic. Between Juliet waking everyone up earlier than they had expected, and the subsequent morning attitude problems with the added task of semi-organized packing and vehicle placement, everyone was having a rough time. It was not the blissful moment where everyone remembered they were heading home back to their friends, work, and loved ones. If they were all honest with themselves about it, they were all on the 'fuck it let's do it tomorrow' page of their adventure booklets but they had a schedule to keep. Even if they were ahead of said schedule.

There was an entire five pound bag of grain and seeds left over as well as a plethora of vegetables. Marluxia and Celia piled the excess into their car, hoping the lettuce wouldn't wilt too horribly by the time they got home. Celia went around to everyone and gave them all goodbye hugs and kisses before passing Juliet around for more of the same. The girl didn't quite get the concept of 'goodbye' and stared at everyone confusedly as they all gave her hugs. Marluxia doled out handshakes. Celia buckled Juliet in the back of the car and slid into the driver's seat with her Carrier next to her as a passenger. The other five stood off to the side and waved them off as the car disappeared in the distance through the rough underbrush.

Their own vehicle awaited them like en enchanted horse and buggy. But instead the part of the mystical coachman directing the reins of the valiant steeds was played by Luxord who was incredibly irritable and wasn't able to drink any coffee that morning. His hair was a mess and he looked like he was about to kill something had he had a weapon in his hand. And of course the princes and princesses were played by no one who actually fit the parts accordingly as they all unceremoniously dumped their exhausted frames into the car and attempted to fall asleep as quickly as possible.

Sora was out first, sprawled out on his back, snoring away peacefully with most of his body on top of Riku's. Axel was next but was much more organized and let Roxas recline back on him comfortably. Roxas and Riku weren't able to drift off until they were on the smooth terrain outside of the nature and passing through the gate. Then, the ground turned bumpy and uneven again outside the dome and they were awake until they got into the airport gate. Then _everyone_ had to wake up just to sit and wait three hours before they got onto the plane. Then they were all out like broken light bulbs after their first class cabin cleared out again.

The exhaustion from their entire trip caught up to them. The residual emotion following Xion's death, the work, the worrying, the anxiety, and the heartfelt feelings knocked them all out for their entire first flight and part of their next. Axel had had enough of sleeping by about three hours into their second flight of the day and he sat sideways in his seat and let Roxas snooze away on his chest. The blonde didn't realize how tired he was. It went past being woken up so early that morning. Luxord had no problems staying asleep, as did Sora. Riku dozed on and off, but Axel was wide awake. Which was a problem, because it was going to be around bedtime by the time they got back into their own space.

Roxas was drooling on him. Just a little, but he was. The redhead smiled and ran his hands through the flaxen locks a few times and pet his cheek with a thumb. Watching his Charge sleep was a common occurrence for Axel anymore but it was rare that he saw Roxas so deep into his cycle. It was almost as if the blonde had died on him. His deep breathing said otherwise but the stillness and lack of response to his touch was almost cute. Axel dozed boredly for another half hour but his attention was brought back to the Charge when Roxas started to move.

The blonde was still asleep, that much was certain, and very much wedged between the redhead's legs. He was lying on his side with his own legs and feet dangling into the walkway between the rows of empty seats with most of his body from his hips up on Axel. The first thing the redhead noticed though was Roxas' hips moving hardly an inch. But it was enough to rub up against his thigh and make him feel the blonde's growing hardness. He was a bit startled and didn't really know what to think. Roxas twitched a little after that and was still again for another ten minutes. His brows knit together and his hands slid over the redhead's sides, feeling him up suddenly. By this point, the bulging tent in the front of his shorts was painfully obvious, as was the frustrated expression on the blonde's face.

"Roxas," Axel whispered, casting a glance over to where Riku and Sora sat on the other side of the empty cabin in the back. He could hardly see the top of Riku's head over the seat. Feeling relatively secure in their limited privacy, the redhead rubbed his Charge's back several times, urging him to wake up. Roxas subconsciously nuzzled his face into his sternum in response, his hips moving again and grinding against his leg. Axel sighed. "Roxas," he tried again, nudging the blonde harder.

"Hhrnn…" Roxas replied. The Carrier rolled his eyes and wedged his fingers under the blonde's armpits and lifted. He gathered more of his Charge into his lap and brought his own legs up and folded them underneath him. He situated Roxas into sitting and leaning against him and kissed his forehead several times. The blonde was hardly making any progress on waking up and Axel was losing his patience.

"Roxas, wakey wakey," the redhead chided and nudged him some. After an uphill battle, the Carrier was able to rouse his Charge after another ten minutes. Roxas blearily rubbed his face.

"Time to get off?" he asked tiredly. Axel chuckled.

"Maybe, but you need to wake up first."

"'M tryin'," the blonde groaned. "Carry me."

"You're sure?" the redhead asked. Roxas nodded and laid his face against the Carrier's chest again. Axel looked over the seats again to see if he could tell if Riku and Sora were sleeping or not. He couldn't tell but everything was quiet so he just assumed. He shifted himself around and scooped the blonde up carefully and stood. Roxas let his eyes drift closed again and the redhead carried him off towards the back of the cabin. It wasn't until they were in the bathroom together and Roxas was sitting in the sink that the blonde became confused.

"I thought it was time to get off," the Charge whined. Axel grinned.

"It is, if you want it to be."

"…I'm too tired for this shit, Axel."

"Uuh, no you're not, I'll have you know," the redhead corrected knowingly and Roxas blinked at him a few times before looking down at his shorts.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well that's disturbing."

"You're telling me. This habit of molesting me in your sleep when you're blue balling is really weird, I've got to tell you. I'm flattered, really, but it's not the best place," the Carrier said with a low chuckle. Roxas rubbed an eye with the heel of his hand and nodded.

"I know, I don't even want to right now. I'm just tired. I honestly can't even give you an idea of what set it off."

"I think you were dreaming about something. You were drooling before it started."

"Oh well that's attractive. Get a pin-up of that shit and put it in a calendar for everyone to beat off to. _Sexy_ ," the blonde snorted. Axel laughed.

"So I take it that's a 'no' on fixing your problem?"

"I can fix it myself. I'll be fine. You can go back and sit."

"Aw, you don't want help?" Axel whined.

"There isn't much we can do in here and I know it's not your favorite thing to um… what you did before," Roxas deadpanned, his cheeks turning pink.

"Blowjob?"

"Gah! I hate that word! Don't say it!" the blonde sputtered and shoved the redhead some before covering his face with his hands. Axel laughed.

"Okay, okay, I get it. I'll go sit. But just make sure you're able to perform later. We'll need to replace our samples in the lab. All the ones there had to have degraded by this point."

"Oh yeah…" Roxas trailed. "Maybe I should just wait then."

"You can, but you're young. I'm pretty sure you'll be fine regardless of what you do now."

"Yeah…" he trailed again, his blush darkening. Axel smiled and pressed his lips to the blonde's forehead.

"I'll be at the seats. Take your time."

* * *

"Ew, dude," Sora snorted when they departed from their exit gate. The brunette nudged his brother and Roxas glared at him in response.

"What's your problem?" the blonde asked.

"You and Axel diddling each other in the bathroom. Again, _ew_ ," the younger brother said and twisted his face up in a disgruntled scowl. Roxas' face ignited into a whole new shade of red that no one had ever encountered before. Sora stuck his tongue out.

"Shut _up_ , Sora. We didn't do anything," the blonde hissed. Axel and Riku were discussing things with Luxord several yards away. The Technician wasn't going to be driving them home and they were saying their goodbyes at the airport. Another driver was scheduled to meet them there in less than an hour and the Carriers were attempting to tie up some loose ends before parting ways again.

"Then why did he take you in there? That's gross, dude. You have _no_ idea what the people before you guys did in there," the brunette said.

"We didn't do anything!" Roxas protested.

"Then why were you in there together?"

"Because…" the blonde hesitated. "Because I wasn't feeling well and Axel just helped me get in there," he blurted. Sora's face turned pitying.

"Aw, airsick?"

"Sure. Whatever. The point is that he left after he helped me so stop accusing me of things."

"So defensive," Sora giggled. "You really make yourself seem guiltier of things if you deny them so much. Even if it's gross, you're allowed to have sex and say so, Roxas."

"I would rather keep the details of my love life to myself, thanks. It's not exactly something I find comfort in sharing with my little brother."

"And yet I'm taller than you."

"Fuck off."

"Aw, Roxas has his balls in a knot."

"Sora!" Roxas howled angrily. Sora started to laugh.

"You're so uptight."

"I'm going to rip your balls off and tie them in a knot and see how much you like it," the blonde snarled. The brunette's face went from jovial to incredibly curious almost instantaneously.

"Don't touch my balls, dude. Regardless of what the internet says, incest is _not_ wincest. Oh god! You're so nasty!" Sora squealed and held his face in his hands and fidgeted in his place. Roxas' impatience for his brother's prodding bubbled under his skin until he lost it. His fist shot forward and collided with his brother's gut and Sora grunted loudly.

"Say it again," the blonde dared. The brunette whined a bit to himself and held his stomach.

"It was a joke, god," Sora sighed. The hit wasn't all that rough. Just a brotherly jab to startle and cause mild discomfort. Roxas was satisfied and crossed his arms over his chest, giving his younger sibling a searing glower.

"Don't say stupid things and you won't be assaulted. It's simple. And I've been telling you the same thing since before I can remember, probably."

"Yeah yeah," the brunette said with a dejected pout, brushing his brother off.

"You guys are so mature," Luxord quipped from several feet away. He and the Carriers were approaching them. Axel and Riku looked unsatisfied with whatever they were talking to the Technician about, but they didn't say anything. "This is where we say goodbye, my friends. I hope we can work together again before I die," he said matter-of-factly. Roxas scowled a bit but Axel and Riku laughed it off.

"We might, but you never know," the redhead said. It was entirely possible they would never see Luxord again. If the Technician never did stasis treatments and retired in thirty years like normal people did then the statement was plausible. Handshakes were exchanged and Luxord left, as simple as that. He went to find his luggage and was out of sight in a matter of minutes, absorbed by the throng of airport foot traffic. The quartet took seats with their own luggage to wait for their new driver, whoever that would be. The strings of strange looks from onlookers made the Carrier keep their eyes low and their attention averted. Axel fiddled with his collar as the minutes ticked by.

"I wonder when the driver is supposed to be here," Sora said, shuffling his feet on the carpet idly. The sun was almost completely gone from the sky and the activity around them was slowing down. There was the sound of running footsteps from behind them before Yuffie appeared looking exhausted and panicked.

"I'm so sorry you guys!" she panted and held her chest as she tried to calm herself. "I lost track of time and had to rush over here."

"Oh. Hi Yuffie!" Sora said happily with a broad smile. The woman smiled back and took one last deep breath. Everyone exchanged greetings tiredly before the baggage was hefted and dragged towards the entrance. Yuffie had acquired a big enough transport for them all and it didn't take very long for everyone and everything to be loaded inside.

"So, I'm excited," Yuffie said as she started the vehicle and headed out towards the dome's gate.

"Why?" Axel asked, leaning forward in his seat to rest is face on hers next to her shoulder. She laughed a bit as her cheeks turned pink.

"My Carrier should be done cooking soon. Like, this week soon," she said. The redhead perked up and laughed.

"Oh yeah? That's great!"

"I know! I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I really hope he'll accept me."

"I'm sure he will. You had a great track record before so there isn't any reason for him to say 'no' if he's reasonable about it."

"I hope so. Tifa and Zack sound positive."

"Well that has to count for something, doesn't it? Everything will be fine."

"Will the Carrier know he's technically a replacement? Or are Tifa and Zack going to save that one for later?" Roxas asked.

"I'm not sure what they're planning on doing about it. I can't imagine it's the easiest thing to say 'oh yeah, you're actually a clone, not an original life' but he's a little different than Josiah. Not an exact copy. I'm not sure I would be able to handle a copy," Yuffie said.

"Understandable," Axel piped and sat back. "Regardless, I'm confident everything will turn out well."

"Thanks, Ax. That makes me feel better," she giggled. The redhead smiled.

* * *

"OhmygodAxel!" Demyx squealed loudly and launched himself at his friend. Axel almost dropped the sandy blonde when their bodies made contact but in his effort to not hurt him, the redhead ended up losing balance and crashing to the ground himself. Demyx smothered him into the grass with a barrage of rib crushing hugs and affectionate kisses on his cheeks. Roxas scowled a bit as Axel didn't make much of a move to fend the other Carrier off. Demyx eventually had his fill after a few minutes though and sat up, using the redhead as a seat. "You didn't call me or anything!" he whined.

"I'm sorry! I forgot to. It was really hectic," Axel said and pushed himself up some. Demyx's expression drooped considerably. The redhead sighed. "I'm sorry, Demyx. Was there something you needed while I was gone?"

"No… I just missed you," the sandy blonde sighed. They were both quiet for a moment before Demyx forced himself to look happier. "But you're here now, buddy, and that means you need to tell me all the stories and stuff, right?"

"Right," Axel agreed with a smile, though it wasn't as genuine as he felt it should've been. Demyx's motions were stiff and shaky. His smile didn't meet his eyes and the glimmer of youthful humor wasn't there. He seemed distant, cloudy, like someone had taken a piece of him away and smashed it into tiny pieces. The redhead didn't say anything about it just yet as there were too many eyes and ears around to witness what could be a very personal conversation if he started it. So he let it slide with a heavy heart and stood when Demyx let him. Zexion was there, as quiet as ever, and helped Riku and Sora unload the bags while Demyx helped Roxas and Axel.

Yuffie left after everything was unloaded to take the vehicle back to the rental place. She was coming back to the facility though. She was staying with Zack and Tifa to wait out the rest of the time until her Carrier matured. Everyone else, though, was gone. Cloud and Leon had gone home for the day, and Ventus was asleep. Their baggage was divvied up and set in the appropriate rooms. Everyone said their goodbyes and goodnights with promises of catching up in the morning over breakfast. Roxas and Axel tossed their luggage aside after everyone left and decided to head to the lab to check on things.

"I missed them," the redhead sighed wistfully when they took in their healthy growing Carriers floating peacefully in their gestational chambers. The bean was the smallest as her super charged siblings were already beginning to grow past her. It was alright though. She would always be the most special even if Roxas and Axel never told her so. She was as natural as they could make her. No drugs, no extensive testing, and no worries went into her creation. Just a little bit of science and a lot of love.

"I did too," Roxas agreed and stepped to the bean's glass cylinder and put a hand on its surface. She didn't respond, but he didn't expect her to. "Do you think she'll let us name her? Or will she want to pick her own?" he asked. Axel went to him and bent a bit to slide his hands around the blonde's waist and hug him from behind. He rested his cheek against his Charge's hair and Roxas leaned back against him.

"I don't know. I can't really say. Why? Did you have a name you wanted her to have?" the redhead asked. The blonde shrugged.

"I'm indecisive. Part of me wants to name them all after my various family members but I don't think that those names would be appropriate for them."

"Oh? How do you figure?"

"Well, my brain doesn't let me think about them all as my children. Because really, then I'd have to think of you as my husband. Not that there's anything wrong with that but then we'd get into the realm of me thinking about my husband having children with our children and… that's a bit disturbing."

"Furry children, no less."

"Exactly. So…I don't know. I would want to name our kids, the human ones, after my family members because that seems more appropriate. Like we would normally do if we weren't involved in the project. I'd like our Carriers to be as independent as possible and think of them as extended family members rather than children. Like having a bunch of really close friends you consider family because you've known them for so long. Am I weird? Does that even make sense?"

"It does. I sort of agree, actually. I think the inability to parent them helps in that separation too. They come out as adults and we interact accordingly. There's no time to form that bond between parent and child. I honestly see them as my brothers and sisters versus my offspring. I think they should name themselves though, after hearing all that," Axel admitted with a light laugh. He gave the blonde an extra squeeze and kissed his hair. Roxas smiled.

"Well at least I'm not weird."

"You are, but I forgive you for it."

"Gee. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Are you still tired? I can't imagine you are after all that napping."

"I'm not tired per se, but I just feel…drained."

"I know what you mean. Vacations aren't all that relaxing. You spend all your time worrying about missing anything interesting on your trip, you hardly rest any. Not that we were vacationing. But it sure felt like it at some points."

"Yeah. The hotel was nice."

"Yeah," Axel sighed. Roxas twisted around in the Carrier's arms to face him and wrapped his arms around his chest. They embraced each other tightly, mentally trying to prepare themselves for returning to work and having less alone time together. It wasn't a horrible feeling, but it was definitely a transition.

They parted and took a quick trip into the storage closet together to retrieve several sample canisters to restock their bedroom with. Having the little cylinders on hand was going to have to become second nature again as they would need to worry about keeping the material fresh. Their entire storage vat of samples had degraded while they were out, leaving them at the starting line again. It was a problem, but one that was easily remedied. The walk back to their room was quiet as they leaned on one another as they traversed the halls.

"Did you want to unpack?" Roxas asked when they were in the bedroom again. He dropped his armful of canisters on the bed and stooped next to it to store them away in one of the side tables. Axel did the same with the opposite side, casting a tired glance to the pile of bags in the middle of the room.

"Not right now. Most of it is just dirty laundry anyway."

"I dread the amount of clothing we'll have to wash for the next week."

"Yep. But, it's a necessary evil. Maybe we can pawn some of it off on Ventus," Axel chuckled.

"I would laugh if he was okay with that."

"He might be. Studying gets repetitive. He might need the break, you never know," the redhead said, closing the doors to the side table. He looked at the luggage again and considered just setting it on fire to save them both the hassle. Roxas had something along those lines in mind as well but neither of them said anything. It was the unspoken consensus between them that the bed was much more appealing and without saying anything to prompt it, they both started to strip and scoot under the covers together. Their bed was freezing cold, which was a shame, but they settled down together regardless. Axel reached behind himself and twisted the light off before wrapping strong warm arms around his Charge.

* * *

Riku was relieved in more ways than one. He was extremely pleased to be back in his own space with its comfortable temperature with his friends and a very willing and loving Sora. Things were finally looking up for them and their relationship and he felt reasonably confident that this one would last. At least he hoped so, but he couldn't predict the future so he decided against trying to do it. He also happened to feel relieved because he had just used the restroom, but that was neither here nor there. He stepped back into his icy bedroom, expecting Sora to be getting dressed in his thick pajamas for the evening but when the brunette was missing, Riku was a bit confused. He left his room to go check his Charge's, but when Sora wasn't there either, the only other viable option was their lab.

His heart sunk considerably when he realized where Sora had skittered away to. It made his chest hurt when he did finally find him, standing in front of the gestational tank that held their deceased infantile Carrier. Riku tried his best to not to look at the tomb-like cylinder as he made his way to the brunette quietly. Without saying anything he turned Sora around by his shoulders and forced him to face away from it. His Charge looked upset, obviously, but he wasn't crying or overly hysterical. They had already mourned the loss together, and Sora had cried enough then. He just looked empty. Distanced. Like he was slowly building up a brick wall to hide behind. But Riku didn't want him to hide, and pulled the brunette to his chest and hugged him firmly. It took a moment, but Sora hugged him back and the Carrier led them away and out of the lab.

Sora dressed quietly. Riku disrobed and scooted under the covers and waited for him. The brunette climbed in after him and squished himself up against the Carrier to steal his body heat, as per the usual routine. Riku wrapped as much of himself around his Charge as he could, creating a blanket of warmth and comfort. Neither of them was tired though and they lie awake together for over an hour, listening to the other's breathing.

"I love you," Sora sighed sadly and pressed his face into Riku's collarbones. The Carrier gave him a squeeze and used a hand to brush the chocolate spikes off his forehead to lay a kiss on the skin underneath.

"I love you too," he said and his Charge nodded, hugging closer. Sora was quiet again for several minutes, the upset bubbling up under his skin and making his eyes water. He had tried to push it aside, to be strong and make Riku believe he would be okay. But the crushing guilt was too much now that they were home and he had to deal with it. He tried, desperately, to swallow the tears back but he couldn't in the end and they dripped out of his eyes and streamed down his face. Riku didn't notice until the brunette sniffled loudly and started to sob outright.

"I'm sorry," Sora wheezed and brought his hands up to hide his face behind them. The Carrier pulled away from him so he could look at him properly. He took one of the brunette's wrists and tugged it away from his face and gave him concerned eyes.

"Don't blame yourself. You have no reason to. We haven't even looked at the reports to see what the actual problem was so there's nothing to be accusatory about."

"But it's my fault."

"It could've been mine too. I wasn't exactly in the best mindset for a long while."

"Which is also my fault," the brunette persisted. Riku scowled and ran his fingers through Sora's hair comfortingly.

"Sora… I don't know what to do to make you stop accusing yourself. But you need to understand that it isn't either of our faults. It's just not that simple. We're working with machines and machines are imperfect. Things happen outside of our control that we can't foresee and try as we might, we won't be able to fix all the problems like we could if we were in a perfect world. It's just a fact of life. You can't keep beating yourself up over this."

"But I wasted so much time being stupid!" the brunette cried, taking a moment to suck in uneven and shaky breaths. "We're basically starting over again!"

"No we're not. We still have five others, which is far more than I've ever had in my entire life. That's a really long time, if you remember. It's upsetting that you can't find happiness in that. I'm the happiest I've been in decades, regardless of the roadblocks and bumps," Riku said kindly, taking the brunette's face his hands and using his thumbs to clear Sora's face. He gave his Charge a smile and the brunette stared at him for a minute, sniffling and thinking things over. He smiled a bit in return before scooting forward again and hugging himself to the Carrier's chest. Riku wrapped him in a firm embrace, petting his hair, as Sora got the last few of his cries out. Eventually, the Charge calmed to quiet sniffles and relaxed against him.

"Thanks for… I don't know. Not being awful, I guess. I'm not sure why, but I felt like I should thank you," the brunette said with a dry laugh. Riku chuckled and pulled away again to wipe his face.

"You're welcome. You're not so awful either."


	95. Chapter 95

**Chapter 95**

There were very few times in his life where Leon envied women. He was content not being able to give birth and not having to deal with a menstrual cycle. If his was a normal situation, he would be perfectly happy going to work and paying the bills like the stereotypical male figure and would let Cloud have the babies. Leon didn't want any part of the birthing process until the babies were out and he could interact with them. He appreciated women for their strength with having to deal with being female in the first place but that was the end of it. However, he had a few instances he could remember where he wished, for ten minutes, he could switch genders. Most of those times were when Cloud was in one of his moods and bursting into tears like a sniveling little girl would've helped end it. All the other times were Leon envying the ability to take a pee while aroused. _That_ would be a nice ability to have.

Waking up at four in the morning without prompting was infuriating. Being assaulted with an almost painful case of morning wood when you want to take your morning potty break didn't help. So there he lay, on his back, staring up at the ceiling as if it had just committed a mortal sin just by being in his line of sight, with Cloud snoozing away next to him. He had the urge to punch the blonde for being so peaceful. As he impatiently waited for his body to calm down enough to allow him to relieve himself easily, Leon weighed his options. He could wake up Cloud and force his Charge to be miserable with him, or he could lie around and be bored. The choice was a no brainer.

Cloud's ability to sleep through a nuclear Holocaust was sometimes a blessing and sometimes a hindrance. It was amusing trying to figure out how to wake him up, but at the same time, if one was strapped for time, it was a serious pain in the ass. Over the years Leon had discovered there were only a couple options. Assault or molestation. Physical pain or disconcerting pleasure. He figured he had time to play a little with the added bonus of possibly curing his arousal problem in the process. Rolling onto his side, he squished himself against Cloud's back, using a finger to pull the waistband of the blonde's pajama bottoms down. Once his butt was exposed, Leon wedged himself between the cheeks and reached a hand around and stuffed it under the front of Cloud's pants.

"Rapist," his Charge grumbled angrily once his subconscious registered what was happening. Leon chuckled a bit and pushed his hips forward and grinding against the blonde while his fingers massaged the softened flesh up front.

"I have a problem and I need you to fix it," he said simply.

"I can tell."

"And? Let's go."

"Right this second? At…" Cloud trailed and brought his wrist up to his face to check the time. His blood immediately started to boil. "Oh fuck off, there is no way in hell I'm doing this at four in the morning. Why are you awake?"

"That's a good question. I'm not sure."

"Go back to sleep."

"I've tried," Leon lied. He did try, but for only about fifteen minutes. He could've put a lot more effort into it. Cloud let out a frustrated groan and reached a hand behind himself and gripped Leon's hip. He shoved backwards, attempting to force the Carrier away. Leon was undeterred though and pushed himself right back into place. Cloud tried to dig his lover's hands out his pants as well but he was met with a similar scenario. Tired, cranky, and sexually unresponsive, the blonde settled for scooting himself forward as much he could and rolling off the bed. Leon let him go and Cloud stood and pulled his clothing back into place. He stole his pillow from the bed and headed out of the room and into the hallway to dig in the linen closet. "Where are you going?" the Carrier asked, sitting up.

"The couch," the blonde said simply. He tossed a blanket over his shoulder.

"You're not serious."

"Oh, but I am. I like sleeping, and your dick is preventing that from happening. So I'll remove myself," Cloud said. Leon scowled and furrowed his brows.

"Do you really think I would've woken you up if I didn't actually want your help?"

"You can do it yourself. I won't cry about it," the blonde said and left, making his way downstairs to the couch in the living area. Leon sat on the bed, slightly dumbfounded. He hated masturbating. He felt he shouldn't have to do it anymore and avoided it like the plague. It dredged up unhappy memories for him that made it difficult to finish and he usually just ended up giving up and feeling completely inadequate. He never brought his issue up to Cloud for fear of hurting the blonde. For Cloud, mentioning the instances that hindered Leon was like bringing up where the scar on his face came from. All of it was tied together in one long string of painful memories neither of them liked to think about.

Stubbornly, Leon ignored his problem, and after a half hour of sitting by himself, he was finally able to use the restroom peacefully. But now his bed was empty. He had a mental battle with himself for another twenty minutes as he tried to push his pride aside enough to go downstairs and confront the blonde and hopefully, get him to come back to bed. But by the time he made it down the stairs it was clear that Cloud was dead asleep again. It was an opportune moment for Leon and he quickly scooped his Charge up and took him and his pillow back upstairs. He laid the blonde on the mattress the way he usually slept and slipped the pillow in place before going back downstairs to fold the blanket and put it away.

Later that morning, when he woke up, Cloud was a little confused. But when he felt Leon curled up against his back comfortably, he understood and forgave him.

* * *

Terra clicked off the shower and ran a hand over his face to rid himself of the excess water before sticking an arm out from behind the shower curtain and pulling a towel off the rack. He dried himself a little less than halfway and got lazy and decided he could drip dry the rest of the way. His hair was thick and soft though and sucked up water like a sponge. He had to wring it out three times before he could feel safe enough to wrap it up in a towel and not worry about it soaking through.

Living by himself had its benefits. He had the comfort of using only one towel when he dried himself because he could stroll around completely naked while the cloth occupied his hair. The personal freedoms he took advantage of whenever he was home weren't enough though. Standing in front of the refrigerator and feeling the goosebumps crawl over his skin while he decided if he wanted to bother with a glass for his orange juice or not was a nice privilege, but it was lacking in substance. For a long time, he tried to indulge himself in the simplicities of life in an effort to find the path to complete satisfaction. Little things he could do every day that would make it just a bit easier to be by himself.

Ventus helped break up the monotony considerably but Terra understood the restrictions concerning a long lasting relationship. Friendship was just about all he thought he could get from the promiscuous blonde and he wouldn't ask for anything more. He couldn't provide a stable relationship even if he wanted to, unless he changed his line of work. But he loved his job far too much to leave it anytime soon. That's what was keeping him going. The work, travel, new experiences, different cultures. The allure of his Technician status outweighed the lack of someone to come home to, as sad as that sounded.

Breakfast was brief and simple, as it usually was. He had the ability to cook but didn't usually do so for himself. It seemed like far more hassle than it was worth. He got dressed, fussed with his hair a little, threw the laundry into the wash and settled in front of his Catalogue terminal to check his messages, fill out a few reports, and see where his next assignment would be. After the laundry had been tossed in the dryer and an hour's worth of work was done, he received a call from a fellow Technician he had known for many years. Her name was Aqua and she was from Ansem's tutelage as well.

"Terra! Oh thank god you're there. I'm seriously having a panic attack over here," the woman sputtered nervously with worried eyes. The background behind her showed that of the Committee Center that was located in Dome 225. The Center itself was just an enormous meeting hall with tons of offices and computer terminals in its outlying hallways. Record keeping and data entry was finalized there, but most everything else was contained to individual Technician Catalogue terminals which could be accessed from the Committee's computers at any given time. Aqua's deep cerulean eyes were wide and frightened and her cobalt hair stuck up in several different directions from between the fingers that gripped it.

"What's wrong?" Terra asked, as calmly as he could. Aqua was the sort of personality that wasn't easily frazzled, so to see her in such a frantic state was a bit unsettling.

"Ansem is dead!" she blurted which a hysteric hoarseness. Terra's jaw nearly fell from his face.

" _What_? That's impossible! How can he be dead? He can't die!" the brunette protested in disbelief.

"Everyone's shitting themselves over here. You have to come help me help the Committee members keep everything in order."

"Why are they counting on our ranks to help them? They're the Committee! They're supposed to be prepared for these things!" Terra insisted, every neuron in his brain firing in order to try and comprehend what was happening.

"Everyone's arguing in the meeting hall, no one can think of what to do and they're all just yelling at one another. Eraqus is trying to do what he can, but he's really the only one who's being level headed. He asked me to call you since you two share a lot of the same views, just to give him an extra voice," Aqua explained. Terra furrowed his brows, his head spinning. Ansem had been a good friend of his, not to mention his mentor and role model. He had been there for every step of Terra's life as a Technician. So much so that he almost felt like a second father to the brunette. Eraqus was one of the top Committee members under Ansem and one of the most influential amongst that level. He wasn't as old as the deceased Technician had been, but he was close. He was one of the first of the Technicians Ansem had trained.

"I don't know what good it'll do, but I guess I can get over there. Granted I get a plane ticket that won't put me in the poor house," Terra said blandly. His mind was shutting down and building up his mental defenses. Aqua nodded a few times.

"Please. I could really use your help too," she said pleadingly.

"I'll get there as soon as I can. What happened though? How did he…"

"There are a bunch of stories flying around. I'm not really sure what the right one is. But no one can find Saïx so we all assume it had something to do with him."

"Can't find him?"

"Right. We got a call from his home dome's police dispatch telling us about Ansem but they never said anything about what happened to Saïx when we asked about him," she said.

"But they've seen him?" Terra questioned.

"As far as we know they have."

"Alright. Well… hopefully by the time I get there the whole story will have come together."

"Thank you so much, Terra."

* * *

Axel braced himself on his elbows, bringing his hips as low as he comfortably could to dissipate the height difference. The urge to push himself up on all fours for more stability was immense, but that would cause Roxas to slip out of him and the redhead _really_ didn't want that. It wasn't often that he was on the receiving end of their bedroom escapades, but it wasn't like either of them decided that it wasn't okay. But their physical differences made positioning difficult and Axel almost always ended up on his stomach or on his hands and knees, which made it feel much less personal. The blonde had his own share of difficulties. He tended to feel as if it all ended too soon whenever he was in control. Axel never told him he was unsatisfying but the instances where the redhead was able to finish during their session could be counted on one hand.

This time, unfortunately, was no different. Roxas needed to pull out to finish so they could collect the sample for the lab, which left Axel feeling empty. The redhead was frustrated, but he didn't fault his Charge for it. The blonde never seemed happy to leave him hanging like that so the Carrier never took it personally. He had to take time to build up some stamina when he and Roxas first started too, so he understood the difficulties if being on the giving end wasn't a common occurrence. To Roxas though, it was mortifying. After scraping the redhead clean and securing the sample in a canister, he was about ready to fall apart and let his pieces be swept under a rock.

"I'm sorry," the blonde sighed dejectedly as he held his face in his hands in embarrassment. Axel wrapped him up in a firm embrace and kissed his temple.

"Who said we're done?" he asked and Roxas peeked over his fingertips at him. The Carrier smiled. "You don't need to worry about it so much, Roxas. It's just me."

"Yeah I know, I just feel like my pride just took a dump on my chest," the blonde grumbled. Axel immediately twisted his face up in a grimace.

"Ugh! Why would you say that? That's awful. Who does that?"

"I didn't mean literally."

"I know that much but god! That's horrid. You just killed whatever mood there was. I'm totally flaccid," Axel huffed and sat back. Roxas let his hands drop away from his face and he stole a quick glance. True enough, the redhead's body had rejected all motions of continuing. His cheeks turned a bit pink and he picked at his hands sheepishly.

"…Sorry. My brain to mouth filter broke."

"More like exploded. The visuals are seared into my head now. Thanks."

"I'm sorry!"

"Where did you even come up with that?"

"It's an actual fetish for some people."

"Oh my god! Humans are disgusting!" Axel cried, his face conveying his extreme amount of distress. "Please tell me you weren't looking at porn of that."

"No way. But when you're weeding though the categories looking for the normal stuff, you find some weird stuff along the way. I didn't even have to see any of the porn itself and I could figure it out just based on the titles. It's gross and a total turn-off, I agree. You don't have to worry about that. I promise," Roxas blurted quickly.

"Was this a recent discovery?"

"Uh, no. This was like… in eighth grade."

"You looked at porn when you were that young?"

"…Yes?"

"Wow. Way to be an overachiever."

"Puberty happens."

"Indeed it does. It's very beneficial for our purposes but I'm afraid you won't be getting any fresh samples out of me for a little bit."

"Understandable, yeah. I'm sorry. I really wish I hadn't said that. I meant it to be funny," Roxas mumbled. Axel snorted.

"Yeah well…you need to remember I'm experienced at this point, but my experience is limited to what we've discovered together. It never even occurred to me that _any_ form of excrement could be pleasurable to people. Perhaps I should spend the rest of the day researching all the weird fetishes out there just for the exposure. I feel sort of strange for not having a handle on this."

"You could. Without any new samples from you we don't have much to do."

"Thanks for killing the project, Roxas."

"I didn't kill it all the way. Just… for a little bit."

"I know. I've forgiven you already but the images won't leave me."

"I wish I could help. You could look at normal porn first. The kind without hairy guys dressed up as awful bit part Carriers. I know normal exists. Luxord was looking at it."

"Luxord… was looking at porn? At the hotel or the ecosystem?"

"Ecosystem."

"…Weird."

"More like 'awkward.'"

"That too."

"I'll let you borrow my watch so you can look stuff up if you want," Roxas said and motioned to the side table where the tiny device lay. Axel shrugged.

"Well, regardless of what I decide to do, we should probably get cleaned up and find some breakfast."

"Alright. Hopefully Demyx doesn't assault you again."

"Yeah, I hope not."

* * *

Demyx didn't attack Axel again, but he did manage to goad the redhead into regurgitating the entirety of their trip in story format. They took the camera to breakfast and the Carriers sat huddled together sharing everything there was to be seen. Demyx listened with wide curious eyes the entire time. Zexion only seemed to be interested during certain parts and only asked to see the pictures every now and again. Roxas ate quietly by himself. Ventus, Sora, Riku, Leon, and Cloud were all missing still.

"Ooo, what was that?" Demyx twittered. Axel jerked the camera away from him and furiously mashed the little buttons to scroll to another image.

"Nothing! Nothing," the redhead sputtered. The sandy blonde giggled and tried to grab the little device away from his friend. Axel dodged him for a few seconds but Demyx eventually wrestled it away from him and scrolled back through the pictures.

"Aw! That's so cute, Roxas!" the sandy blonde cooed. Roxas quirked a curious brow. He recalled the few pictures that had snuck in there while Sora had control of the shutter but none of them seemed worthy of the sparkly adoring face Demyx was making. Axel kept quiet with his hands folded in his lap, face down, cheeks pink. Roxas was immediately suspicious.

"What is?" he asked. Demyx handed the camera over and the blonde furrowed his brows. It was a picture of himself sleeping. But it was the newest one in the camera and the background was that of his and Axel's bedroom. It was a very picturesque scene though. The sun had come through the window and tinted a ring of light through the ends of his hair like a halo. A cliché angelic scene that didn't happen very often but Axel managed to capture it all the same. The redhead himself shuffled his feet a bit but didn't say anything. Roxas wasn't mad. Quite the contrary, he was quite amused. He handed the camera back to Demyx and gave his Carrier a small smile.

"Sorry," Axel said quietly. "I woke up before you this morning and that's what I saw."

"Oh. Well at least I wasn't drooling this time," the blonde said casually and turned back to his meal. Axel laughed.

"Yeah, that's a bonus. To me though, your drool is cuter than you probably think it is."

"Good. You can have it. I don't want it," Roxas said. Demyx giggled.

"You guys are so adorable. I'm going to just put you on a shelf so I can just look at you all day," he said before turning back to the camera and scrolling through the images again. He leaned against Zexion as the Charge continued to eat quietly, occasionally glancing at the tiny screen as the pictures blipped by.

The rest of the meal continued on peacefully. Ventus joined them just as everyone was finishing up. He didn't seem any different as when they had left and asked minimal questions about their trip. He didn't really know _what_ to ask. He flipped through the pictures and got the general idea. Some stories were exchanged, mostly ones pertaining to Xion and what Luxord was like. Demyx wanted every tiny detail and spewed question after question, making their breakfast last almost two hours. Ventus, Axel, and Roxas left together once the sharing finished and headed towards the lab.

"So…is there a decent time when I can start my treatment? Or should I just let you know?" Ventus asked, walking towards the exam table where his books lay scattered about. He shuffled one out of the way and took up a bottle of pills and looked the label over. "It says I should expect to vomit a lot and bleed from places I wouldn't normally bleed from," he explained. Roxas scowled.

"That sounds awful."

"Yep. So when can I start?"

"Well…what does it mean you'll _bleed_? Like, from your ears or something?"

"Probably from his genitals. HIV cures work in a sort of reverse osmosis reaction. Most of the supplementary materials in the pills work as filters. They get in there and detach the virus from the cells themselves and force it through the kidneys for proper filtration and it comes out as discolored urine. It just so happens that retroviruses turn your pee red as if you're bleeding. If a cell is too damaged though, it just discards the entire thing in the same process so he may _technically_ bleed but it should be miniscule. No actual damage is being done unless the disease has progressed to AIDS. Then, he'd most likely need transfusions to supplement his blood supply because it would be pretty severe at that point. The medicine stays in the system for several weeks after you finish the bottle but initially, the body may try to get rid of it and thus, the vomiting. It also helps clean out the salivary glands for any lingering bugs and may last the duration of the treatment, but it's not a guarantee," Axel explained. Roxas gaped at him.

"Wh—you just pulled an explanation out of your ass, just like that?" the blonde sputtered. The redhead shrugged.

"I know a lot of stuff, Roxas."

"I realize that, but _damn_."

"You're welcome?"

"It's true though. I'm not looking forward to the effects, but I'm looking forward to being healthy," Ventus piped. Roxas nodded.

"You can start whenever you want, really. We can check up on you."

"We should probably hook him up to an IV and keep the bags of fluid coming," the Carrier said.

"Ah, yes, good idea," Roxas agreed. He looked to Ventus. "What's the dosage?"

"I have to take six every day. One every four hours. I'll be done in three days."

"That's all it takes? Seriously?" the younger blonde questioned skeptically. Ventus shrugged.

"Just because it's expensive doesn't mean it's not a simple process. I'm kind of pissed I was saving all of my money for so long just for one bottle of pills, but it is what it is. So long as it works, I can't complain."

"True enough. Did Ansem say anything about when you can do stasis?" Axel asked. Ventus shrugged again.

"No, but I assume I can do it whenever the drugs are out of my system. So… a few weeks?"

"Sounds fair. Are you excited?"

"I'm a little apprehensive. Anxious. Scared. Excited. All of that stuff. I sort of feel like I want to barf and I haven't even taken the pills yet. There's just so much happening," Ventus said with a dry laugh. Axel smiled.

"It'll all happen, no worries. It may take a month or two before everything is truly settled down and in place but once you're healthy again, you'll have time."

* * *

"Come to bed, Dem, I'm sure everything's fine," Zexion urged that evening, sitting up under the covers by himself. Demyx, worried eyes glued to the carpet in front of him, paced back and forth in the bedroom impatiently.

"She hasn't called or said anything in days, Zex. I can't stop thinking about it," he said quietly, chewing nervously on a fingernail. The best part about having a body that automatically conformed to certain standards was that one could chew the nails down to mangled nubs and they'd be back and perfectly rounded again by the next day. Demyx had probably gone through an entire lifetime's worth of fingernails since he heard word of Mary's pregnancy. He was a wreck emotionally. He put on a brave front for everyone else, but Zexion knew. Their lovemaking had ground to a halt, Demyx wasn't eating as much, and the quality of the Carrier's work was slipping. Zexion knew it would damage his lover immensely by having a child he couldn't interact with. He hated Mary for it.

Demyx's impatience and anxiety over the child made him spend a lot of time on the Catalogue. He kept constant contact with Mary, to Xigbar's extreme disliking. He was desperate to make sure she understood that he wouldn't sit back idly and let his child be raised without him. He wanted to be a part of whatever plans she and Xigbar had set out for themselves. Mary tended to listen a lot and not give him a lot of feedback as to how she felt about it all, which made his persistence heighten and become almost suffocating. There were a few instances where Xigbar and Demyx got into arguments while Mary sat back, staring at the floor like a broken doll. Clearly, the child was more of a burden to the atmosphere than she had intended it to be. Zexion had a very clear cut view on what should've happened months ago. The child shouldn't have been allowed to progress to that point. But he kept his opinions to himself and supported Demyx in whatever way he could.

"Perhaps she and Xigbar went out for a few days to relax a bit before the baby is born," he tried to defend, pulling his knees up to his chest to hug them. Demyx shook his head.

"No, she would've told me."

"It could've been a spontaneous decision on their part."

"She still would've told me."

"We don't exactly live with them. They're not obligated to share everything they do with us."

"She would've told me," Demyx insisted, stopping his pacing to sit on the edge of the bed. He let out a tense sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. Zexion couldn't think of much else to say. He was frustrated. What he really wanted to do was slap his Carrier across the face and beat some sense into him. "I need to call her," the sandy blonde said finitely and stood again, heading for the Catalogue terminal's room.

"Wait," Zexion said. Demyx hesitated and looked back to him. "Put some clothing on first."

"Oh. Right," the Carrier said and stepped to the armoire for a pair of shorts. Regardless of how he was feeling, it was always the sandy blonde's preference to discard his clothing as often as he could. Even if nothing romantic was happening, he almost always stripped as soon as the bedroom door closed behind them. It had become such a habit over the years, he didn't even think about it anymore. There had been a few occasions where people who called them got an eyeful before Zexion could stop him. It was such a ritual that they had invested in very soft, almost silken, bedclothes simply because it felt nice against bare skin.

No one answered at Xigbar and Mary's home. Their lab was more of the same. Demyx was able to stumble around with the different extensions and find a few of Xigbar's siblings but they all had no idea where they were and were quite rude about saying so. The sandy blonde didn't expect anything different, but it was discouraging. He sat quietly after the fifth angry hang-up and considered his options. He could wait for a call that may not ever happen, or he can start checking police stations and hospitals to see what he could come up with. If something happened to them, those were the most logical places to check, right? Right. He tried the Carrier friendly hospital first.

"Yes?" an impatient looking receptionist answered quickly. She gave Demyx a once over, his shirtlessness and the cord trailing from his mouth being the oddities she noticed first. The sandy blonde tried to shrink himself down in his seat as much as he could, to divert some of her piercing gaze. 'Carrier friendly' meant that they treated Carriers, but it didn't necessarily mean everyone was a fan.

"Hi, um… I'm looking for a friend, and I don't know if she's okay or not and I'm checking around. Can you tell me if she's there and maybe transfer me to her room if she is?" he asked politely. The woman's eyes narrowed on him for a brief second before she looked away, presumably to another computer screen.

"Name?"

"Mary."

"…Last name?"

"Uhm… she's a Charge. Xigbar's her Carrier. I know his model number."

"Can't be very many Mary and Xigbar couples, one moment," she said gruffly and poked away at her keyboard. "Mary is here, yes. I can transfer you back to her room."

"Thank you," Demyx said, his heart rate skyrocketing. He didn't think he would find them so easily, let alone in a hospital. The series of unhappy scenarios that played through his mind wrenched his heart and made his chest hurt. Xigbar answered. His expression was bleak and he had exhausted dark rings under his eyes. His hair wasn't in its usual neat ponytail and it hung around his face heavily and dripped off his shoulders. The room behind him was dark but there was a faint glow from the Catalogue terminal that filtered though and outlined the generic hospital furniture and a sleeping lump under the covers on the bed. Demyx assumed the lump was Mary.

"Oh. It's _you_. What the fuck do you want now? We were going to call your tomorrow when Mary was released," Xigbar spat impatiently.

"What happened?" Demyx asked, his voice cracking from his anxiousness. He didn't have the mind to pay attention to the other Carrier's abrasiveness that evening.

"Mary had some problems a few days ago. Bleeding and things. We came here to find out that what was growing inside her wasn't a baby but some deformed…thing. Whatever the fuck those crazies at quarantine gave you makes some fucked up kids," Xigbar said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the chair.

"Wait…what?"

"You heard me. All the times we went to get an ultrasound and check things, we could never find a face and we thought he was avoiding us. Ha ha, so cute, being shy and all that shit. No, he… it didn't even have a face to show us. It was just some fucked up mass with arms and legs that was the size of a normal baby but wasn't actually a baby."

"Didn't you guys get any tests? Or like… check-ups? How can they miss that?" Demyx sputtered in disbelief. Xigbar shrugged.

"We didn't think anything was wrong. Mary took her vitamins like a good girl and the baby grew like it should have if it was healthy."

"This doesn't make any sense…"

"It makes perfect sense. Drugs fuck up kids. End of story. How we managed to find it or not is irrelevant because the result would've been the same. The thing died because it wasn't forming properly and it would've never been able to survive anyway. I'm…relieved."

"Relieved because you don't have to deal with it anymore?" Demyx asked blandly, the situation seeming too surreal to understand just yet.

"The selfish part of me says that I'm happy because I don't have to deal with it anymore, yes. The practical side of me says that I should be happy because the problem eliminated itself without us having to do the killing. But the emotional side of me is sad because we lost a life and I almost lost Mary. It's easier to deal with, but it still hurts. I would imagine it would've been much more difficult had we actually wanted a child and it was my own. The circumstances could've been better," Xigbar said.

"…Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. I want to cry because the baby died. But it's sort of a relief because now I can't torture myself with it. I'm… I'm actually sort of confused."

"Yeah well, everything's fine now."

"I would feel better if I could talk to Mary."

"Too bad. I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. Your obligation to our lives ends here, Demyx. We're done. I don't want to find you near any of my family members and if I do, it better be in passing otherwise you're going to be in a world of pain," the canine Carrier sneered.

"You don't have to threaten me, jackhole. I just wanted to talk to her and see her opinion on it."

"She's shed enough tears to last a lifetime, I can assure you. You don't need to talk to her and upset her again. Plus, she's sleeping."

"I can call back in the morning, you know."

"Don't bother."

"What if she wants to talk to me?"

"Then she better have a damn good reason."

"God, you're such an asshole."

"Good. Then stay away," Xigbar hissed and ended the transmission. Demyx sat back in his seat silently for several minutes. He disconnected his Link and turned the cord around with his fingers a few times idly. He felt numb. The barrage of emotions he was feeling was rattling his head around so much, he doubted he could control it. He could remember telling Mary he preferred it if she got an abortion, and the feelings he knew he would feel if she did. He wasn't happy, but he wasn't shattered. He was relieved, to an extent, but he felt like a part of himself had died right along with the child. He pushed himself out of his seat and went back to Zexion, who had taken to passing the time with his tablet.

"What's the word?" the Charge questioned curiously, setting his novel aside to give the sandy blonde his full attention.

"…The baby died," Demyx said flatly. Zexion blinked.

"Dear god…"

"I know."

"Are—is Mary okay? Are _you_ okay?"

"Mary's fine supposedly. I didn't get to talk to her. She was asleep. I can't decide if I'm okay or not yet," the Carrier said quietly. He wiggled out of his shorts deftly before tossing them aside and crawling into the bed. Zexion leaned back against the pillows and let Demyx bury his face into his stomach and hug his waist. The Charge combed his fingers through his lover's hair a few times as the reality of the situation set in. Demyx didn't cry right away.

"…I'm not sure what to say," Zexion admitted. He felt bad for feeling happy. They didn't have anything to worry about anymore and they could continue on as they always have. He was worried for Demyx though.

"You don't have to say anything," the sandy blonde sniffled. Confused and distraught tears welled in his eyes but he wiped them away before they could escape down his face. "The more I think about it, the more scared I become. Drugs or no drugs, I've had so many children die because of problems on my end of the gene pool, that it makes me feel like you and I will never have healthy kids either."

"We have one right now. Did you forget?" Zexion defended.

"No, but I'm not sure she'll last either. Mary's baby was all weird and mutated apparently but it was seven months along. The peanut isn't _that_ much older, so what if she dies too? It's just a repeating cycle of death over and over again. I just want some reassurance that it'll end at some point."

"I think it will. It can't last forever."

"…Maybe we should reconsider Ansem's drug. But what if those mutate too?"

"Riku and Axel's kids seem to be fine so far."

"Riku and Sora lost one recently though. Probably from the drug."

"But Axel and Roxas' are fine."

"Yeah… I know. I'm so confused with myself right now, I can't think very well. I just want to sleep and wake up with a clear head to think with," Demyx sighed. Zexion nodded and pulled the Carrier into his lap more. The sandy blonde huddled against his chest comfortably and let his Charge hold him until he was ready to drift off.


	96. Chapter 96

**Chapter 96**

"I'm so sorry, Demyx," Axel said. He and his friend were sitting outside in the field together, catching up on the personal things that had been left behind in favor of talking about the redhead's trip. The sandy blonde sniffled and wiped at his eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Nothing was getting accomplished that day from neither him nor Zexion. They had spent most of the day thus far in bed together, Demyx curled up in his Charge's arms absorbing as much comfort as he could. It wasn't until Axel became concerned and went to go find him that he was able to get the other Carrier to come out and talk.

"The more I think about it, the more upset I am that it wasn't healthy and it's just one more failure to tuck under my belt, you know? I mean, I knew I didn't want it to happen, but if it did, I would want to be part of its life… and I should be happy I don't have to worry about it anymore. I got what I wanted, sort of. I don't have an illegitimate bastard child running around somewhere without me, but it just reminds me at how bad my track record is for keeping kids alive in the first place. Just another kick in the balls on my end; and my balls _really_ can't take much more of the abuse," Demyx sighed and sniffled again. Axel reached an arm out and patted his back and rubbed it a bit.

"All of the circumstances surrounding all of your kids were out of your hands."

"Lucky me. I get to blame it on figments of genetic fuckery. Saïx, I can blame for his cattle prod. Xemnas, I can blame for his drugs. I can blame my Totem for being difficult, I guess, but it still doesn't make me feel better," the sandy blonde said and picked at a blade of grass. Axel reclined back on his hands and looked up at the sky. There was a dark overcast above him and the air was slowly turning heavy with the coming rain. Demyx looked up as well and smirked a bit. "That's about how I feel right now."

"What can I do to help you?" Axel asked.

"I can't think of anything. I just need some time. I'll be okay."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah… like I said, I got what I wanted sort of. Even if it sucks, it's probably for the best."

"I kind of agree. Dust in the wind."

"Right," Demyx agreed with a deep sigh.

"We should probably get inside. It looks like it may storm and I want to be there just in case Roxas pees his pants."

"To laugh at him or to try and comfort him?"

"Maybe a little of both."

"Nice, Axel," Demyx laughed. The redhead shrugged.

"What can I say? It's funny. Love him to hell and back but I can still laugh at his insecurities pretty easily because they really are stupid in the grand scheme of things."

"Everyone's insecurities are stupid if you think about it. A lot of them are baseless and caused by jealousy or envy."

"That's a good point."

"I do want to talk to Riku though. Maybe the reason he's losing so many Carriers is because of mutations from the drug. Did you notice Leon and Cloud are missing one? I think theirs mutated too."

"They definitely lost one but I didn't ask what the problem was," Axel said.

"Well, Leon's drug, Xemnas' drug, and Ansem's drug are three different drugs. Leon's was the least stable but it entered both bloodstreams because it was ingested. Xemnas' drug was injected and probably more stable but still the same general makeup, but it was most likely always forced into the Totem bloodstream. Ansem's was probably the same drug as Xemnas', but more stable because it went into the human bloodstream. It's all similar, makeup wise, but administered differently. So… there could be a significant chance yours and Riku's Carriers could develop mutations if that's what Leon's Carrier died from. At least we know babies with Xemnas' drug die," Demyx said. The redhead scrunched his brows together in thought.

"You've been thinking about this."

"I have. I don't have many concrete facts or research to base it all on, but it makes sense. Fucking with the Totem is probably why everyone who was on Xemnas' drug was out of control. When I was on Leon's I wasn't insane but I was still insatiable. Human sensibility but the drive of the Totem. From what I understand, between yours and Riku's recap of Ansem's drug, you guys were the most reasonable. It all just fits so well," the sandy blonde said. Axel nodded just as the first few drips of rainfall pattered against his face. The sky rumbled a little and the redhead sighed.

"Let's go in. I probably shouldn't let Roxas have a heart attack and die."

"Good plan."

They traversed inside and after a quick hug, parted ways. Demyx trudged off to his bedroom where he had left Zexion and Axel headed to his lab. Ventus, having taken the first pill of his treatment, was sitting quietly at the exam table studying. The plan was to avoid using an IV if it was possible. No one enjoyed needles, and until Ventus started vomiting, it was likely he wouldn't need it. So long as he drank enough water to keep his kidneys working and flushing his system, he would be fine. There was a garbage can parked nearby just in case things did come up though. In addition to that he was given a package of sanitary wipes to disinfect whatever toilet he used with. Any lingering piddle drops were highly infectious and they needed to be cautious. After the initial treatment was done and Ventus' status stabilized they were going to take several days to sterilize the lab and his bedroom.

But all of that was later. For now, Axel's biggest concern was getting to Roxas as the sky opened up and started pouring buckets on them. The sound of rain against the rooftop, to him, was soothing. Roxas didn't mind the rain part, but the noise accompanying it shook him. Lightning was sparse from the simulated sky, so he didn't worry about that so much. The Carrier was careful though and approached his Charge quietly as the blonde typed away at the Catalogue terminal. He put his hand on Roxas' shoulder and the blonde heaved a sigh, understanding where the concern was coming from. Ventus didn't get it.

"Are you okay?" Axel asked. Roxas sucked in a shaky breath and let it out in a long string. He nodded a bit and looked up at the redhead.

"Yeah. I'm oka—" he stopped and clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes just as a loud boom thundered overhead. He froze and let it pass, a bit of color draining from his face. Once it was finished he cleared his throat and looked back to the terminal screen. Axel rubbed his back.

"Did you want to make a fort out of the pillows in the bedroom to hide in?" the redhead teased with a small smile. Roxas elbowed him in his thigh, the closest place that wasn't his testicles. Axel chuckled and stooped to hug him loosely around the shoulders. The blonde leaned against him.

"I feel as if I'm missing something," Ventus piped from his seat.

"You say anything and I'll fucking kill you," Roxas grumbled quietly so only the redhead could hear and understand him. Axel smiled.

"Don't worry about it," the redhead said. Ventus gave them a scrutinizing eye. Axel stood straight again and looked to him. "How're you feeling so far?" he asked. Roxas leaned against his side.

"Okay. I'm not sure I'm supposed to feel anything. My stomach has been rumbling a bit, but it's not painful yet," Ventus said. Axel nodded.

"That's good. Just let us know if anything changes."

"I will. Thanks."

* * *

There was a large black cylinder. It looked similar to an oil drum but it wasn't as tall. Sora hated it even before he had to interact with it. He and Riku were shuffling around quietly in the lab, avoiding the inevitable. The dead Carrier still had to be dealt with. They didn't say much to each other as they stood side by side, watching the liquid drain from the gestational chamber. The tiny form inside slumped to the floor lifelessly, leaving Sora's chest feeling tight and crushing. The snowy Carrier took the brunette's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Riku couldn't allow himself to feel much. He wasn't happy, but he was so used to losing progress that it was hard to let it faze him anymore.

"Do… do we have to work after this? Can we go back to bed?" Sora asked quietly, leaning heavily against Riku and resting his head on his shoulder.

"We don't have to, necessarily. But I think it would be a good distraction. Besides, Roxas wanted to tutor you, yes? Wouldn't that be beneficial?" the Carrier asked. Sora swallowed thickly and nodded a few times.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm just…I don't…"

"You're upset."

"Yeah."

"I am too, but stewing isn't a good course of action."

"I know…"

"Let's finish up here and we can decide what to do afterward, okay?" Riku asked. Sora nodded and sighed. The brunette stiffly grabbed the lid to the large canister and twisted it with both arms straining. He grunted a bit but was able to unscrew it and open it. Riku took it upon himself to remove the infant from the gestational chamber and place it in the canister. Sora set the top on it again and Riku tightened it in place. They pushed the drum to the doors and stood back. The brunette immediately hugged his Carrier around his chest and buried his face in his t-shirt. Riku hugged him tightly. There weren't any tears. They had already mourned enough. Just an underlying fear for the rest of the growing Carriers.

"Do you think we can do this?" Sora asked quietly.

"Of course we can. It just takes time."

"But… it's already been so long for you. I feel bad."

"Sora, look at me," Riku said seriously, loosening his grip on the brunette enough for Sora to pull away and look him in the eye. The Carrier smiled. "This isn't just about me. This is our project. Our family. Our Carriers. I'm doing my best to let the past go and to remember that I started over once you came with me from your world. You can't concern yourself with all the time I've already lived. It's done and over with and we can't change it, regardless of how much we may want to. I understand your concern and I'm flattered you want to think so much about me and my feelings, but you're just as important. We need to be patient, yes?" he asked, running his fingers through Sora's hair a few times. The brunette took a moment to let the words sink in before he nodded.

"Yeah… I'm sorry."

"I'm not upset. Don't worry."

"I'll try not to. But I'm scared."

"It's always scary. I'm not going to lie and tell you I'm completely confident in what we have, but I would be more of a mess if we didn't have anything at all. At least we have an excuse to concern ourselves with something. There are worse things."

"I guess," Sora said and hesitated a few moments. "You're right."

"So no more worries?"

"I'll try."

"Good," Riku said as his smile widened. Sora attempted a small one as well as he took a deep breath. He cast a glace to the canister again but he couldn't dwell. Riku pulled his face back towards his own and pressed their lips together quickly. Sora leaned into his comfort and warmth readily. The thunder overhead rumbled by outside as a new wave of rain pattered against the roof. They stayed together for several minutes, distracting each other from their pain. The lights flickered unhealthily though neither of them noticed. There was a loud ' _click_ ' before they were plunged into darkness, the power having gone out. Sora gasped and pulled away from his Carrier's lips.

"Holy fuck," he said worriedly, looking to the gestational tanks worriedly. Riku rubbed his back.

"The tanks are kept running by a lithium generator. They can keep going for six months without power. Don't worry," the Carrier assured, assessing Sora's concern. The brunette let out a relieved breath.

"How often does the power go out?"

"Not very often. Usually the weather has to be exceptionally awful outside of the dome, but I imagine the power supply lines or whatever they use inside the dome isn't used to having weather, so I would expect more blackouts. But, now we can't do any work. So you can get what you want and we can go back to bed if you prefer," Riku said.

"I wonder if Roxas is okay."

"Ah yes. He's quite skittish, I remember. We can check if you like."

"I'd like to. Just to make sure he's not in a corner somewhere. Then we can go to bed."

"I'm sure Axel is right by his side," Riku chuckled and headed out the doors, his hand in Sora's.

After a few moments, the dark wasn't a problem for Riku and he lead Sora down the hall. There were no safety lights that ran on batteries, no flashlights being freely distributed or anything else to assist them. There was a bit of light trickling down the hall coming from the open cafeteria where there was minimal light streaming through the windows. Otherwise, it was completely black. Riku pushed his way into Axel and Roxas' lab. He could see the pair across the room, Roxas clinging to the redhead's shirt for dear life. Axel had an amused smile on his face but held his Charge tight, willing the invisible demons away.

"Roxas?" Sora asked.

"Sora?" Roxas responded.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yep," the blonde said and lifted Axel's shirt and pulled it over his face. It was a small, albeit fruitless, attempt to keep his voice steady. The redhead stifled a laugh and helped stretch the fabric over Roxas' head and shoulders. The blonde managed to wedge himself under the shirt so that just a tuft of golden hair stuck out of the collar tickling the underside of Axel's chin.

"Sorry guys, I'm starting to feel really sick," Ventus chimed from his seat. He reached around until his hand hit the top of the trash bin and pulled it closer to himself.

"Did you want me to take you to your room?" Axel asked.

"Maybe in a minute…" the older blonde said. Sora scowled.

"Sorry, not to be a total ass or anything but I hate hearing people barf. If everyone's okay then I'm going to go hide in my room," he said. Ventus laughed a bit.

"I'm not offended. I don't enjoy doing it."

"I'm fine," Roxas assured. Sora nodded and pulled Riku's hand. They left quietly together to wait out the power outage. Axel rubbed Roxas' back through the t-shirt. The blonde let out a frustrated sigh and hugged him tightly. Ventus ruined the moment by abruptly vomiting, though.

* * *

Eraqus, a man who was nearly as old as Ansem, but just as experienced, was the pillar of all that remained of Ansem's beliefs and methodology. All too often he found his ways of doing things being questioned by the other Committee members. What his motivations were, why he cared so much, why he could feel anything but professional obligation towards Carriers and their Charges. Usually, when a Committee member agreed with him, they held similar stories. They came from the same places and were made a Technician after many many years of service to their own individual projects. Ansem was extremely intelligent and surrounded himself in the people who thought like he did. Saïx and Xemnas had done the same, but Eraqus had that inseparable bond only Charges get when they've spent many years with a Carrier which was his advantage. Compassion was his leader every time he made a decision. It hadn't steered him wrong yet.

Not everyone agreed though. At least half the Committee felt the same way Xemnas and Saïx did about Carriers and tended to accept whatever greedy notion came by that gave them a few extra Credits. As far as Eraqus was aware, Saïx and Xemnas were the only poachers amongst them. He didn't doubt there were more, but the information he had on Saïx was extremely fresh.

The police had shown up shortly after Saïx's accountant called them. Saïx was detained and being held for further prosecution, but his home was searched. Every trophy the Technician/Carrier kept from his hunts and all the details accompanying them were discovered. The money, hidden accounts, and Saïx's own little black book of contacts was discovered, painting the entire picture. No one was ignorant to his malicious ways anymore. Some of his subordinates came forward and explained that had they known of Saïx and Xemnas' mistreatment and murderous ways, they would've never listened to them. They had been deceived and brainwashed, and couldn't _possibly_ have known they were so insane.

Eraqus didn't believe them. But it didn't matter. So long as things changed for the better, whatever crimes they committed would be forgettable. Saïx and Xemnas were the only murderers and anything other than that, though cruel, wasn't illegal. It was best not to dwell on the small matters, but that left only the big ones. The battles. Wars. Things that Eraqus and his followers would have to conquer before everything could settle again and be peaceful. For that to happen, the Committee would need to agree on one voice to speak for them, someone to replace Ansem. It would pose a serious problem since the members were divided on ideals.

"You cannot expect me to believe you all support Saïx and his habits! _Billions_ of credits stolen out from under your noses for what? An enormous house? _Wooden_ furniture? Where's the limit? Is there nothing he can do that would turn you all against him?" Eraqus asked fiercely, his steely gray eyes piercing a hole in the naysayers.

"Is that what you want? To turn us all against him?" another man with small white goatee asked.

"Can you not see what a demon he is? He and Xemnas both killed their way into billions of Credits. Essentially stealing and laundering funds from this project."

"And? I have no sympathy for those creatures. At the very least Saïx found a use for them other than taking up space and having sexual intercourse with everything they see in a _desperate_ attempt to have _puppies_ or whatever it is they want," the man said. He scoffed. "They're disgusting."

"No one is forcing you to stay here as part of this project. If they disgust you so much, why stay? Why do you even bother wasting our time?" Eraqus persisted. The man shrugged nonchalantly.

"It's good money."

"And if I find Saïx was paying any of you a stipend for keeping his poaching operation quiet, you do realize that makes you a co-conspirator and just as guilty as he is?"

"Saïx is a good man. He doesn't need to pay us anything to keep his secrets. He's done nothing wrong. It's not illegal to seize a valuable opportunity to squeeze something new out of your fairy production," a woman chimed, crossing her arms over her bosom and crossing her legs haughtily.

"Is that so? Well, according to the police, he's a murderer. Regardless of poaching, he still killed Ansem with his own hands! A witness can attest to it. What more do you need?"

"Ansem was old fashioned. The best way to get what we need out of the project is by having complete control and forcing those abominations to do what we want," she said snidely.

"And killing them is a perfectly acceptable way to do that?" Terra piped from his seat on Eraqus' right. The woman didn't have much to say but she rocked her seat a bit as she mulled it over. "If that's true, then that means if I want something from someone, I have the right to go out and kill their children to scare them into giving it to me? Let's say I decide I want something from someone who has a different skin color than mine or someone with a handicap. Just because they're different or 'expendable' to some other people that means I can murder at will to satisfy my own greed? Well if that's the case then I've been living my life completely wrong."

"That's not what I meant," the woman defended.

"Of course it is. Carriers have given us no reason to hate them other than being different than we are. Species, race, physical appearance, sexuality, whatever it is you judge them on is irrelevant. It all just stems from the inability to accept differences and thus, is just like any other race crime out there except there is no legislation to back them up. Which is unfortunate."

"Arguments supporting the differences between species are stronger than something as simple as race. On some planes there are people who make animals fight one another for amusement. We don't have personal domestic pets to do that here otherwise I'm sure we would see the same behavior. Should we treat the cows we eat and the chickens we slaughter the same as the Carriers simply because we're of a different species?" the man with the goatee defended.

"If we were only killing them for sport, then yes, I would say that would be the best course of action. But Carrier death and a cow used for food are different. We gain nothing but finite finances from Carrier poachings. One lump sum that is illegally obtained instead of hundreds of years of work for the greater cause. Even then, there's no guarantee the Carrier will sell to the buyer or any of the money will ever go anywhere outside of an individual's pocket. Which is of more value?" Terra asked irritably.

"And a few will die just as many more come to take its place. Just because Saïx killed a few of them doesn't mean that their numbers are any less than they have been. A few grains of sand taken out doesn't make the desert any less sandy," the man claimed. Eraqus narrowed his eyes and took up his tablet before Terra could interject again. He scrolled through a list.

"One thousand, three hundred, and seventy four Carriers were killed by Saïx according to his ledger and the souvenirs he kept from them. That's quite a few if you times that by the amount of resources it took to make them all. I'd say that's worth more than a few grains of sand. But at this point, it doesn't matter. Saïx will be tried for his crimes. Every one of those deaths is a felony, regardless of whether or not we take Ansem's death into consideration," he explained, setting the tablet aside.

"Only tried for them? What about the automatic death sentence? He killed a human," Terra said, looking to Eraqus. The elder Technician raised a brow.

"Why would that pertain to him? That's only for Carriers."

"Right. Exactly. Saïx is a Carrier," Terra said. A cacophony of murmurs erupted from the group. Eraqus scowled at him.

"No he isn't."

"Uh, yeah he is. It's in the police report. I read it on my flight. Didn't you?" Terra pressed. Eraqus scrolled through his tablet again, looking horribly confused. Aqua did the same with her own device, sitting straighter in her seat to his left.

"It's not in the report I was given. I requested the department to send you a copy, perhaps by the time you got it they had discovered him," Eraqus said. All of the other members quickly scanned their tablets suspiciously. Terra handed his tablet to Eraqus and the elder Technician looked his report over. He nodded a few times and exhaled a long breath in surprise. "I'm a little shocked."

"So was I, that's why I was wondering why we were having this discussion. It doesn't matter what we say. Saïx isn't coming back unless he kills the entire precinct and escapes, which I highly doubt will happen," the brunette said. Some of the Committee members turned to each other and started talking amongst themselves.

"Are you all disgusted that you trusted one of the very creatures you hate for so long?" Eraqus questioned, not allowing his confusion to show on his face. Like everyone else, he had so many questions but he had the gumption to not let them wear on him. "Is his change of species enough to think differently of him? If that's what it takes I suppose I can't complain though I find it sad that that's what did it and not his murderous tendencies."

"Regardless of what Saïx is, it doesn't change our history with him. It wouldn't be in our best interests to dwell on the inevitabilities," the man with the goatee said blandly. "I still do not agree with Ansem's way of doing things enough to let you continue on in his stead exactly the way he has. We have the opportunity to change everything and make it more efficient."

"And what, exactly, would you change?" Eraqus questioned. The man smiled a bit.

"I wouldn't pay them. I wouldn't give them homes of their own. And, once their quotas are filled for natural offspring, I believe they should be eliminated like an old tool that cannot be used anymore. Cut the losses when they cease to produce."

"What benefit would that pose?"

"Saves money. We wouldn't rely on Credits that come from illegal sources anymore. We could possibly even eliminate conventions."

"And what would you do with the ones that are already retired and living normal human lives? Would you send the countless human children to homeless shelters and kill their parents? We give them homes but we give them ones that are going unused in their domes. They are responsible for all their financing after we hand them the lease. It's not like we're paying their mortgages or their utility bills. They keep the salary they have when they leave the facility and they live elsewhere, making room for new Carriers. They don't stop working. Ever. 'Retired' means nothing to them. They're still producing natural offspring even if the Carrier production stops. We don't need human samples from them anymore but we work on the Totem ones. It's never finished or complete to a point to where they would become obsolete and we should just… kill them. That's counterproductive," Eraqus said. The man simply shrugged.

"I don't agree. We waste more money giving these mongrels freedoms when all they need is the basic essentials to survive. So long as they're alive and working, that's all that should matter. Treating them like regular citizens with a nine-to-five job is not efficient enough."

"Taking away the liberties we've already given them could drive them to stop working. What would the motivation be to work after that? They are human enough to know that they need to work for their privileges just like everyone else. I don't see the difference in taking away what little freedoms they have. For some, I'm sure that's all they work for. Their hostile and sometimes abusive environment is enough to make them stop but so long as they can reap a greater reward, they will work. It's either, we take all their freedoms away and spend the money housing them in the facilities and feeding them until they fill the quota (meaning expansion to fit them all) or give them preexisting homes and still have them work to exceed the quota. There is no reason to change," Eraqus said. The man opened his mouth to say something but the light murmuring of voices from his colleagues distracted him. He looked to them with a scowl.

"I actually agree with Eraqus," the woman said. The man's scowl deepened.

"You can't be serious. Treating them like they deserve such privileges—"

"That's not what I meant. It doesn't matter what they do and don't have. The results are the same and the system Ansem has in place already satisfies what we need in terms of production. To upset them all now and twist it around would be pointless for the same result. It would cause useless man hours as well as too much distress which may cause an uprising. I'm not completely happy with it, but I can understand the practicality of it," she said. There were many nods around the room agreeing with her. Eraqus let out a relieved sigh.

"There are a lot of things I would like to change. The upgrades to the facilities aren't going to stop, but I would like to add to them. Personally, I would like to help build up the Carrier/Technician relationship and use it to our benefit. Perhaps in the future, if we can coincide with them versus treating them as doormats they'd be willing to work for less and we can cut back. But for now, I believe we would have less conflict if everyone would learn to be a bit more compassionate," he said, running his hand over his raven colored hair, smoothing back the fly-aways into his ponytail. "I propose we use the money Saïx had obtained to set up security systems in the facilities to keep misconduct to a minimum. On our end and on theirs. Instead of just assuming it's the Carrier's fault for strife and sending them to quarantine, which disrupts production, we can assess the problem adequately and figure it out beforehand."

"That's a rather big project to undertake," the woman snorted. "And what's stopping them from altering or stopping the video from implicating them?"

"I'll come up with something," Eraqus said. She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"For now, though, I believe we should tell them all about Ansem and Saïx," Terra piped. Eraqus looked to him and nodded.

"Are we all in agreement, then? Shall I speak for us in Ansem's stead?" he asked. There were a few skeptical faces but almost everyone nodded. Eraqus gave them a solemn nod in acceptance, his mind swimming. "I suppose I shall leave you all to discuss things while I go write myself a speech and find myself a media outlet I'm comfortable with," he added and stood. Terra and Aqua exchanged looks.

"Eraqus," Aqua said as he attempted to leave. He looked to her. "Why did you need Terra and I here for all of this?"

"I was hoping you two would take Saïx and Xemnas' seats on the Committee," he said. "We already voted and discussed it. If you'll accept I can write up the paperwork. I apologize for getting distracted. I meant to say something initially," he added. Terra was quiet for a moment before his face split into a grin and he started to laugh. Eraqus and Aqua looked to him confusedly.

"I suppose if I'm going to stick around for another thousand years, I should probably do something about my HIV."

* * *

Saïx was alone. He had been taken away by the police before he could decide whether or not he wanted to kill his accountant and flee the dome. Part of him said it was the cowardly way out of his predicament, but the other part said he was an idiot for not reacting quickly enough. He simply spent nearly ten minutes staring blankly at Ansem's lifeless form on his dusty floor in disbelief in what he had done. It was not his original intention to kill him, but the elder Technician scared him. Saïx had spent so many years hiding what he was, that any mention that he was anything but human scared him to no end and tended to get a swift retort. Except this time, the retort was violent. He was amazed with himself.

The police were not sympathetic. Regardless of their beliefs towards the Carriers and the projects, they couldn't deny what an important humanitarian Ansem had been. Even if the Carriers couldn't be considered human, their work was for everyone's benefit. The project as a whole was selfless. Society frowned upon killing leaders of such organizations. Especially the government. They had invested a lot of money in Ansem and to have his life taken in such a blur of irrational thought and fear was a waste even to them. Saïx wasn't very remorseful, but he understood where they were coming from.

He sat in his cell quietly. He had been beaten when he resisted and shocked with a taser. His colors drained away, startling all of the officers and changing the dynamic of his arrest instantly. He was wrestled to the ground, chained, and dragged away like an animal. He was unceremoniously thrown into his cell where he sat for fifteen minutes before he was yanked out again. He was stripped, searched, and tossed back in without clothing. He huddled in a corner, attempting to keep his body heat to himself against the cold concrete. He didn't have a seat, or a bed, a toilet, or a blanket. His hands and ankles were bound with heavy link chain and padlocks. His skin was bruising where he had been manhandled and his cuts dried uncomfortably. The burns from the taser prongs ached, but he didn't react. He simply stared ahead of himself at the wall in disbelief. He couldn't believe what he had been reduced to.

It was a surreal experience. He desperately wanted to claim he was human, that he had rights and he could fight this in court. But he couldn't. Not with the evidence of his inhuman traits staring at him in the form of colorless leg hair. No amount of cologne would cover that one up. But he knew he wouldn't get a trial now. It was automatic death once the paperwork went through the Committee. He couldn't even claim insanity in his defense because insane or feral Carriers were euthanized anyway.

He was by himself for several days. The paperwork went though. Saïx's time had come. He had anticipated it, thought about it extensively, and accepted it. He was absolutely filthy by the time his guards came to retrieve him. His body was covered in the grime from the cell and not being able to bathe or properly clean himself after bathroom uses. His degraded state humiliated him. The guards' disgusted looks and scoffs at his appearance didn't help and his posture shrank as he was pulled to his feet. The guards wore gloves to keep his filth from their pristine skin. The purity they earned simply because they were human and natural yanked at his heart and made him remember how close he felt to being just like them. He was envious.

He was going to die like a criminal, but a criminal with no rights. On his way to his death, the guards poked and prodded at him, stopped by other officer's offices to show him off like some prideful trophy. They were fascinated by him and his synthetic body, as many of them had never seen a Carrier up close before. They lived in their comfortable community domes away from his world, but all the questions and comments couldn't change his fate. Some spat on him in disgust, some even struck him. But he didn't cry out or give them the satisfaction of reacting. He wanted to, though. He wanted to kill every one of them for their mistreatment. He wasn't some sort of lowlife animal. He was different from his synthetic brethren, he was sure.

It didn't matter though. The law didn't see it that way. He was shoved into a tiny room with a tiny chair. His chains were undone and rewrapped around the metal chair frame, which was bolted to the floor. Underneath the chair was a metal plate, which was hooked up to a cable. The cable went from the plate, to the wall, and to a switch on the other side. The only other things in the room was a light and a window where the lead guard stood, his hand poised over the switch on his side. Saïx sighed quietly to himself, sitting alone in the room now. The guard took a moment to take out his cell phone and set up the camera to record the Carrier's death through the window for future entertainment. He pressed the switch when it was ready.

Death by electrocution was an archaic and messy way to execute someone. But the police weren't outfitted with Catalogue terminals that the Carrier projects used. There was no automatic euthanasia program for them to use, and the time it would take to procure a humane tranquilizer was too much for them to waste. When it came to murderous Carriers, they didn't care. They were fascinated enough by them to take a look and gawk, but not enough to forgive them for their crimes. Electrocution was the most readily available way to go in that instance.

Too bad for Saïx it wasn't the most painless process to go through though.


	97. Chapter 97

**Chapter 97**

"My ass is bleeding."

"…Uh, _okay_. That's a bit random. Is it hemorrhaging? Or like… I don't… Roxas, I can't even process that. You can't just blurt that out and expect me to know what the hell you're talking about or how to respond," Axel said, his brows furrowed and confused.

"There's not a better way to put it, honestly," the blonde said with a sigh as he sat on their bed. The redhead half expected to see a red puddle form underneath him but nothing happened that he could see. Roxas' posture was slumped and dejected, his cheeks pink and his face flustered.

"Well…alright. So you're obviously not _gushing_. I assume you're not in any pain?" Axel asked.

Roxas nodded.

"Okay, do you only notice when you wipe?"

Another nod.

"And it's only a little?"

Another nod.

"You have hemorrhoids."

"God damn it," the blonde spat and hid his face in his hands.

"Ah, yes. Blame it on God and ask Him to damn it for you. In this situation I believe you would be blaming my penis, so if we follow that logic, my penis is God. I must find myself a church and proclaim this new discovery. It will be revolutionary."

"That's a disturbing thought."

"Indeed it is."

"So is there something I can do that can make them go away quickly?" Roxas asked impatiently, fidgeting in his place a bit.

"Holding off on sex for a while and some ointment is usually the best plan," the redhead said with a shrug. "It'll only relieve the symptoms though. Surgery is the best option to make them go away completely."

"Oh fuck, you're serious?" Roxas asked and looked to his Carrier. Axel nodded with a light shrug. "I thought they had medication or like…special wipes for this crap."

"Well yes, the wipes help exterior ones but what you're describing to me are interior ones. If there's no pain, then that's the only explanation. I didn't notice them either and… I think I would've if they were outside."

"This fucking sucks."

"It does. I agree. I imagine hemorrhoids are the bane of all homosexual men and everyone else who enjoys anal sex. Friction, in a lot of cases, is the enemy. We just need to be more careful. You'll be fine."

"I don't want surgery. How the fuck do you tell someone that? 'Well, looks like you need ass surgery, sorry, tough break.' What will Sora say?"

"You're really going to tell your brother you have hemorrhoids?"

"No, but if you have to do surgery on me, it's not like he's dumb enough to not notice equipment being brought into the lab."

"I don't want to do surgery on you at all. Just let them go for a little bit and we can check up on them every couple weeks and see if they stay the same. If they get worse then we'll have to act, but being careful and a bit of ointment should keep them in check. If they get painful though, you need to say something," Axel said. Roxas heaved a heavy sigh and nodded.

"Yeah… but now I feel like I should be ninety years old."

"Yes but ninety year olds get them from trying too hard to take a dump. You're not having that problem are you?"

"No!" Roxas sputtered, cheeks flaring to a bright red. Axel laughed and rubbed his back a bit.

"It's okay. These things happen. It's just me, and you know I'm not going to go around spreading your business. You'll be fine."

"…I know," the blonde grumbled under his breath. He huffed again before crawling the last foot or so to his Carrier and depositing himself in the redhead's lap. Axel hugged him close and laid his cheek against the golden fluff.

"I suppose this just means you have to practice on me more. Build up your stamina and tolerance and all that, yeah?" the Carrier said. The Charge shrugged.

"I guess. Not that it's a problem or anything but that would mean you'd get them too eventually."

"Probably."

"Wonderful. This isn't the most attractive conversation we've ever had."

"I agree. But it's a practical one. They happen. There isn't much we can do about it. Discussions about health problems are important. If you had waited to say anything, my Signet would've said something and by that point it would be way worse. So yes, it sucks, but good that we catch it now."

"Yeah, I know. But I'm still not happy about it."

* * *

There was a board game, but not the regular kind of board game that one puts on the table and physically touches. It was played on a terminal (Home, Catalogue, or otherwise) and one person could be in their living room while the other player could be across the world in their bedroom. It was fun to do with people one barely knew because they could still talk to each other and the atmosphere was casual. It was part of a social networking group, really, but hardly anyone used it for anything other than virtual sex. That was the only reason Ventus knew about it, but he was aware of the games on it too.

"Oh you stupid fuck! That was _my_ prize cube!" the older blonde snarled. Terra, on the other end, laughed and let his turn run its course, his little virtual self running around the game board. The board itself was displayed out on the touch screen panel keyboard while the score, communications, and number of turns played was shown on the monitor.

"I was under the impression the prize cube was free game," the brunette said with a smug smile.

"No. No, Terra. It's my prize cube. You can't have it," Ventus grumbled and rolled his dice for his turn. Again, Terra laughed.

"That's awfully selfish."

"You saw me going for it and you swooped in like a damn ninja and stole it. I hate you now."

"Oh, my bleeding heart," Terra teased. Ventus laughed. It was a soft, half hearted laugh. He wasn't upset with the Technician any and the brunette knew it. But the downtrodden inflection behind the blonde's voice caused him some concern. "What's wrong?" he asked. Ventus sighed.

"My back hurts, my throat hurts, but mostly I just miss you. I like spending time with you face to face, you know? 'S fun."

"I'm touched," Terra smiled. "Your back hurts? Most likely from your treatment. It's probably your kidneys, not necessarily your muscles. They're working overtime. I'm not sure why your throat would hurt though."

"It's just raw. I finally stopped vomiting last night."

"Ah, I see. I'll have to go through the same wonderful process in a couple days."

"Wait… really? I got you sick?" Ventus asked, the guilt heavy and immediate. Terra instantly regretted saying anything as the blonde's expression crumbled. The brunette shrunk down in his seat a bit and nodded. Ventus let out a groan and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Terra. I was trying to avoid it as much as I could."

"I'm not upset. In fact, I was halfway expecting it."

"You were?"

"Yes. I knew from the beginning the risks we were taking and I accepted them. I'm not surprised and neither should you be. It's not like I've had it for very long so I highly doubt my recovery will be as torturous as yours sounds like."

"But still—"

"Don't worry about it. We'll both be fine. Once it's over we can get together and celebrate. Healthily."

"Okay…" Ventus trailed, keeping his eyes down and his voice low. "I feel like I should help you pay for the treatment somehow. Like… once my Carrier and I start earning our salary, take my half and give it to you. But that's not for a while."

"Don't worry about the money. I've had a decent chunk sitting and rotting with nothing to spend it on. My bank will probably be happy for it to be unloaded somewhere. They were paying me out the ass in interest," Terra said with a light chuckle. Ventus smiled and tried to laugh, but he couldn't.

"Compound interest is supposed to be a good thing when it pertains to savings accounts."

"Very true. But the establishments paying for it probably hate it. It's also why my account comes with a monthly fee to keep it open. But enough about that. Don't worry, I have it covered. I have some additional good news though."

"Oh?" Ventus questioned, looking at him fully again. Terra nodded.

"I'm a Committee member," he said simply. The blonde gaped for a minute.

"Awesome! When did that happen?"

"A couple days ago. I came home to wait for my treatment to come and to get well. But once that's finished, I'll be traveling again. I'm not sure if it will be any more than what it usually is though. I do know I will be at the meeting hall for a lot of gatherings though. I was thinking about finding a home near there so I don't need to fly every time I need to show up."

"Oh…" the blonde trailed. Terra was only a few domes away from Dome 813. Moving all the way to Dome 225 or the area around there would make any sort of physical relationship nearly impossible without a lot of money involved.

"It's not concrete yet, Ven. Don't sound so disappointed."

"Sorry, I'm not trying to rain on your parade or anything. It's just… I already miss you and you're still in the area. I'm sorry. I sound like a possessive girlfriend. I'm happy for you. I really am."

"Thank you," Terra said, though his tone wasn't entirely confident. "I miss you too, but you knew from the beginning what our relationship was going to be like. It's hard for me to remember that sometimes, but I force myself to."

"Y-yeah. I know. Sorry. I usually have a better handle on this."

"I'm not angry. But I am concerned. I really don't want you to get your hopes up or anything. Aside from the fact that I can't give you what you want, you also have a Carrier to think about. I mean, I really enjoy your company, Ven, but I can't put you before my job. Our physical relationship isn't going to last, though I hope our friendship does. Even if your Carrier is receptive enough and is alright with the sex, it doesn't mean we can continue if I really want to take my promotion seriously. We don't have to stop right this second but it's going to happen eventually. Does that make sense?" he asked. Ventus nodded quietly.

"Yeah. It does. I know it, too. Like I said, I usually have a better handle on this. This is the first time in a long time I've had a sexual relationship with someone who actually gives a damn about me, though. It's refreshing and I like it a lot. I guess I'm just paranoid about losing it, is all."

"Well, I'll always care about you. I don't think I could stop that even if I tried."

"That's comforting."

"You don't sound very enthused."

"I'm serious though. I appreciate it."

"So long as you're aware of it."

"I am. Thank you. I… care about you too, Terra."

"I'm glad," the Technician said with a smile. Ventus gave him a small one in return and the brunette furrowed his brows together with a light sigh. "I can't love you, Ventus."

"I know."

"Then please don't make that face. I feel like I've crushed you."

"You didn't. I just need to sort my stuff out. You're right. I did know what we were getting into, but I didn't keep myself in check. I just didn't realize I wasn't keeping myself in check until now. I'd apologize a million more times if I could, but it's really my own fault for letting myself get sucked in."

"Did… did you want to cut it off here? Would that be easier?"

"No, because I still value our friendship. I don't have a lot of those, either. Really, the only one here that I can say is my friend is Sora. Maybe Axel, but I'm not sure. It's good to have a lot of friends from a lot of different walks of life. It makes getting advice a bit easier because you have a lot of opinions to take into account," the blonde said with a light shrug.

"Very true. I agree. I'm in a similar situation. I don't have a lot of friends either. I have a lot of acquaintances, though. Maybe I can make more with the Committee members."

"I hope so. You'll need them if you decide to move."

"Exactly," Terra said. A brief moment of silence passed between them as the conversation slowly died away, leaving the unanswered questions and unrequited emotions hanging in the air like a thick paste. Ventus fidgeted a bit.

"I'll be right back. Sick kid potty break," he blurted before shoving himself out of his seat. He practically galloped away from the Catalogue terminal's room and rounded the corner into his bathroom. He had to get away from the tension. It was grating on him heavily. He didn't allow himself to think much about what he felt towards Terra as he took his time in the bathroom, wiping everything clean with the sterile wipes afterward. He had to force himself into his previous mindset before he returned to the Catalogue terminal where Terra waited patiently. The mindset he reserved for clients. He would focus on having fun with the person versus whatever their relationship was. He already knew he had Terra's friendship, but he had to halt everything else that exceeded that in his mind. Friendship and sex. End story.

"I think it's my turn," Terra said, looking down at their abandoned game board once Ventus took his seat.

"Yeah. It is. Just keep your fucking greedy hands off my prize cube."

* * *

"How're you feeling?" Axel asked to no one in particular. The lunch table was full that day, and there were a lot of people that could answer that question with a relevant answer. The redhead and his Charge weren't oblivious to the Carrier Riku and Sora lost, and Demyx seemed a bit down still, Ventus was an obvious guess but by the way he was eating, it didn't seem like he was doing too bad. Leon and Cloud were really the only ones without any sort of drama hanging over them, for once. That is, if Axel wanted to exclude Roxas' recent new friends hanging around his butt.

"I'm okay," Demyx said and pushed a chunk of beef around with his finger idly. He had eaten most of his meal, which was an improvement, but it wasn't perfect. Axel didn't doubt him any. The silence hung around for a few minutes as they ate quietly.

"Terra got promoted to the Committee," Ventus said.

"Good for him," Roxas said. Ventus nodded in agreement.

"I thought they were full," Leon said with a light scowl.

"Maybe he took Xemnas' place," Cloud interjected through a mouthful of stew.

"Oh, that's true. I forgot about him," the russet Carrier agreed.

"Wow. Way to kick the guy in the balls," his Charge snorted. Leon gave a nonchalant shrug and poked his fork into his food for another bite.

"You'd think they would've found someone sooner though," Roxas quipped.

"Who knows what they do all the time? I hardly understand why they're needed anymore. I mean, I understand the logistics and the purpose behind having one voice for the whole, but they don't even do anything different than regular Technicians. It's just a bunch of old guys sitting around making up rules that aren't illegal to break," Demyx said.

"They can recommend people to the government to be fired if they do break the rules though. Nintey-nine percent of the time the government doesn't give a damn to investigate the problem and just agrees with the Committee members' decision to get rid of them," Axel said.

"Yeah, but still," Demyx huffed, his feelings unchanged.

"I think Terra will make some good rules or whatever though. He seems like a nice guy," Sora said. Ventus nodded.

"Ansem trained him so they're similar like that," he said.

"Good. The Committee needs more members like him," Roxas said.

"Agreed," Leon said. There was another brief moment of silence. "So are any of you going over to Tifa and Zack's this weekend?"

"Tifa and Zack's?" Sora questioned. Leon nodded.

"They're going to take their Carrier out of the gestational tank Saturday and they've invited some of us along for the learning experience," he explained.

"Or, in our case, heavy lifting," Cloud said. Leon shrugged.

"Right."

"Heavy lifting?" Sora asked.

"If you grew up in a giant water bath and suddenly had to deal with gravity and walking, you'd be a little disoriented too," Riku said. The brunette thought about it and nodded.

"Are they really expecting the Carrier to be that heavy? What can't Tifa lift him?" Axel asked, brows furrowed.

"Ah, apparently she's menstruating and Zack's too much of a pussy to make her do anything," Cloud said. Leon kicked his Charge's shin from under the table.

"She shouldn't have to do anything she doesn't want to. Would _you_ like to cross her right now?" the russet Carrier persisted. Cloud waved him off blandly and rolled his eyes. "You don't have to do anything, fatass, I'll do it myself. Zack only asked for help. It's awkward carrying a hundred and eighty pounds if you don't lift weights all the time."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," the blonde sighed and returned to his meal. Leon's scowl deepened.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Cloud shook his head.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"Faggot."

"Nice one, Cloud," Axel snorted and rolled his eyes. Roxas nearly inhaled a mouthful of rice as he tried to snort back a laugh. Sora laughed a little too, biting his bottom lip to keep himself quiet. Leon was unfazed though and kept a suspicious eye on his Charge.

"Though, with a name like 'Cloud' one has to wonder how his parents predicted his homosexuality from such an early stage of life," Zexion interjected abruptly, his eyes glued to his tablet with one hand stirring his stew around in a circle. Sora couldn't hold it in anymore and sputtered his lips before smashing his face into Riku's shoulder to muffle his laughter. Demyx busted apart as well and laid a kiss on Zexion's cheek. Cloud, though not amused, said nothing.

* * *

Later that evening, it was Cloud's turn to do the dishes. He had been quiet for most of the day, and Leon was a little concerned. Cloud wasn't overly talkative during the work hours of the day, and neither was he, but when he realized they went an entire four hour span without saying a word, he thought it was a little strange. Dinner was also quiet, though Leon didn't expect him to say much then, either. After such a long life together things tended to get a bit dull, and the topics of conversation were sparse if nothing interesting was happening. They had gone through periods where there just wasn't anything to talk about, but this time was different somehow, and Leon couldn't understand why.

"Something's bothering you," the Carrier said, leaning over the countertop from the living room side of the island. Cloud rinsed another plate and dropped it in the dishwasher.

"Nothing's wrong. Stop asking."

"I didn't ask anything. I simply stated an observation. Something's bothering you, and I wish you'd tell me what it is."

"Nothing's wrong," Cloud repeated, setting a glass in the machine. Leon sighed and stood straight again.

"Then why are you so quiet?"

"Because I have nothing to say."

"…Alright, fine," the Carrier huffed and headed towards the stairs. Cloud finished loading the dishwasher and started it before following after him. Leon had situated himself in front of the Catalogue terminal and was reading the newsfeed. Nothing interesting was happening. Cloud shuffled out of his clothing and pulled on his pajama pants before plopping in the bed and flipping through his tablet. A long period of silence passed between them before Leon grew bored of the terminal and disconnected from it. He clicked on the lamp next to the bed and turned off the overhead light before disrobing and plopping in the bed, preparing for an early night. Cloud took the hint and set his tablet aside and scooted under the covers quietly. The light was turned off and there was another span of silence. The blonde eventually sighed deeply and rolled over to face the Carrier.

"I'm bored," he stated simply. Leon blinked.

"I'm sorry? How can I make your sleep cycle more entertaining?"

"No, I meant I'm bored with…everything. That's what's bothering me."

"…Oh," Leon deadpanned. "I'm not really sure how to take that."

"Just as I said it. With Zack and Tifa's new Carrier, it just reminded me how new and refreshing everything had become again before… well you know, we lost the kids. The projects were new and different, and there was a lot more to do aside from 'take sperm A and mix it with sperm B and maybe you'll get a C if you're lucky, but most likely not.' When we were waiting around for the last of them to come back with their Charges, before we started on the natural offspring, it was the same way. I was bored out of my skull and just… off. I don't know. I can't think of much else to say about it. Story done," the blonde grumped and made to roll over again. Leon put a hand on his shoulder and stopped him.

"Well now wait a minute, you can't just expect me to ignore that."

"There isn't much you can do about it. We're doing everything we can to make things go as fast as it can. It's just… another few decades of waiting. I'll get over it."

"Maybe, but I still want to know things."

"Like?"

"Do _I_ bore you?"

"You're the dullest person I've ever met."

"…I'm serious."

"Right, which is boring."

"Stop it, Cloud. Answer me honestly."

"I am."

"…Really?"

"Yes!"

"Oh," Leon said.

"You really didn't notice?" Cloud asked, raising a skeptical brow.

"Well, I thought you were just being a smartass whenever you told me I was."

"Sometimes, but mostly, no."

"Why didn't you say something, then?"

"Because it hasn't been an issue for a long time. I've had other things to occupy myself with."

"Oh."

"Okay? Now you know," Cloud blurted and rolled over again. Leon stared at the blonde's back for a good fifteen minutes in confused disbelief. He knew they didn't have the most thrilling relationship of all time but he didn't think that Cloud was bored of _him_. The more he thought about it, the less he understood. He didn't know how to fix it. Before he could think to say anything, though, the blonde was already asleep.

* * *

The next morning was much of the same. Breakfast was quiet, work was quiet, and most of lunch was quiet. Cloud seemed like he always was and went about his day normally. Leon did his work, but his mind was hardly anywhere near it. He was still rattled from the previous evening to a certain degree as he tried to come up with things he and Cloud could do together that would liven things up again. As the minutes dwindled away and they headed home again, he was at a loss. Dinner was quiet, there was no lovemaking, and sleep was restless for him.

The morning after that started as it usually did. Cloud made breakfast and while he was getting himself together, Leon spent a few minutes reading the newsfeed to see if he missed anything. There was one article that wasn't there the day before. It was incredibly long and came with a list. The list drew his eyes to it immediately and as he skimmed it, he realized it was a list of Carrier species types. There were hundreds of them, possibly even thousands. There were dates next to the names and the pieces slowly started coming together for him. He froze when he noticed _Panthera Leo_ on the list next to the date of his family's poaching. He stared, dumbfounded, for several minutes.

"What is it?" Cloud asked as he emerged from the bathroom, his towel from his shower draped over his hair. Leon swallowed thickly and blinked a few times to tear his eyes away from the words.

"I'm… not sure. It's a list but I didn't read the article that goes with it yet," he said quietly.

"A list of what?"

"Carriers that have been poached, I believe."

"…From how long ago?"

"Centuries. Possibly even since the beginning."

"So ours are on there?"

"Yes. But it seems like a short list for such a long timeline," Leon said and squinted at it. Cloud left him alone with a heavy sigh as the Carrier started to read the article. It was a very meticulously written depiction of Ansem's death, Saïx's relation to it, Saïx and Xemnas' poaching exploits, as well as Saïx's execution and what he really was. It summed up the story with who they were all being replaced with on the Committee, mentioning Terra, Aqua, and Eraqus. Additionally, Eraqus was scheduled to speak to them about some changes in the morning. But Leon couldn't focus on that. He was frozen in place, his subconscious struggling to process all the new information. The list that belonged to the article was of all the different species' Saïx and Xemnas poached together from the beginning to the most current. Cloud finished getting dressed and went to Leon's side. The blonde furrowed his brows and put his hand on the Carrier's shoulder.

"What's it say?" he asked. Leon couldn't bring himself to speak and just stared at the words as they blurred together. "Squall?"

"Closure…" the Carrier trailed quietly. "It feels nice."

"Closure for what?"

"For our family."

"Oh. I wasn't aware we had any of that."

"Xemnas and Saïx did it. They killed them. And…" Leon said as a smile spread across his face. It wasn't a healthy smile, the strange mixture of mourning, elation, and disgust churned in his stomach and made his expression seem more hysterical than he cared to admit. Cloud didn't notice, but frowned a bit when Leon picked his hand up off of his shoulder and pressed the backs of his fingers to his cheek. The Carrier took a moment to still his breathing. "And I feel so much better for what I did now that I know. Does that make me a bad person?"

"I don't think so. I was okay with it even before this came out. If anything, my quick acceptance makes me the bad person. So, since they made an article about it, I guess everything's out in the air. That's good. What're they doing with Saïx?" Cloud asked, lifting his thumb to pet a line down his lover's cheek.

"He's dead."

"…I wasn't aware capital punishment was used for poachers."

"It isn't. He killed Ansem."

" _What_?" Cloud nearly shrieked. Leon let out a long sigh, the mourning pushing through the rest of his jumbled feelings and taking over. "When?" the blonde asked.

"Sometime last week. Saïx was executed a couple days ago."

"So quickly?"

"He's a Carrier, so yes."

"…You lie."

"I kid you not. I can't make this shit up," Leon snorted and scrolled up the article to the part depicting his claim. Cloud leaned over him and read through squinted eyes and a scowl.

"I think I need to sit down," he said and pulled his hand away from the Carrier's to cross the few feet to their bed. He sat on the side and ran his fingers through his hair a few times while staring at the floor. "What… what are they going to do without Ansem?" he asked deftly.

"The open positions have already been filled on the Committee. This 'Terra' Ventus had mentioned the day before yesterday is one of them. I just hope the other two are just as capable. The one who took Ansem's place, Eraqus, is going to do an announcement tomorrow to talk about some changes. I just… I'm having a hard time focusing on anything past the kids."

"Yeah…"

"This is too much," Leon sighed and went to go sit with his Charge. He leaned against the blonde and heaved a heavy sigh. They sat together quietly, trying to decide how they felt about things. For them both, the biggest pieces of the story were centered around Saïx and Xemnas' deaths, as well as Ansem's. The tiny details were forgettable; Saïx being a Carrier, why he killed Ansem, how he was executed, and so on. The fact that he and Xemnas couldn't torture them anymore was such a relief to them, goosebumps broke out over their limbs.

Ansem… was Ansem. To say that he was any sort of a legitimate father figure to the Carriers was a complete lie, but the loss of one of the few people that held compassion for them in a place of relative power was the biggest loss. Ansem didn't allow himself to get very personal with the Carriers outside of knowing their names and though generous and empathetic towards them, he wasn't their best friend. His death was very much a 'what now?' scenario versus one warranting tears. He would be missed, but only just.

"I'm happy," Cloud said after a long pause. Leon hadn't realized he was zoning out, the blonde's voice snapping him back into reality. They looked at each other.

"You are?"

"Yeah. We can move on. It's done."

"I thought we _did_ move on."

"Well… now the work won't feel like torture. For a while it just felt like we were replacing them, now, it can feel like we're rebuilding. Moving past the bad things to work for the future again. I don't know. I'm really terrible with this shit. My point is, it feels different when I think about having to go to work again."

"You feel… less bored?"

"No, the work itself is still boring as all fuck but I feel better about doing it. I didn't realize it before but I guess I was just... going with the motions because we have to, not because it was satisfying."

"That sort of makes sense. You're right, though. You're terrible with this shit," Leon snorted. Cloud nudged him with his shoulder and a grumpy scowl.

"Yeah well, I tried," the blonde huffed. Leon smiled some and leaned against him again.

"I commend you for it even if it was an utter failure. I'm glad you found a way to feel better about work," he said blandly. It still didn't solve his own boredom problem though. Cloud shrugged a bit and nodded.

"Do you feel better, though?" he asked.

"A bit, yes. I'm not looking forward to talking to the girls, though. I hate it when Theresa cries."

"We should stop by the store and pick up some tissues before we head over there. I would offer chocolate too, but that wouldn't end well."

" _You_ can have it. We can pick up a bunch of sushi for them."

"Eugh. Sushi?" the blonde asked.

"Yes. A wad of rice with a chunk of fish on it. Simple and edible."

"I didn't know they liked that stuff."

"Well, it would probably benefit you to pay attention to them more, then. We haven't had it in years though, so I'm not surprised you don't remember."

"It probably doesn't help that I hate fish."

"True. I like it, though."

"Why don't you eat it more often then?"

"Because you don't like it."

"Well that's stupid. You're not going to force it on me are you?"

"No."

"Then you can eat it. I don't care."

"Oh. I'll remember that, then," Leon said and pushed himself up from the bed to get ready to leave. Cloud caught his wrist abruptly and kept him from getting very far and the Carrier turned to him with a raised brow.

"You're alright though?" the blonde questioned, his concern evident. Leon nodded.

"I'm fine."

"I'm not convinced."

"Were you expecting tears?"

"Partially, yeah."

"I've shed enough for them. It's time to let it go," the Carrier said solemnly. Cloud furrowed his brows together in his obvious remaining skepticism. "You don't believe I'm capable of it?"

"It's not that. You're better at letting go than I am, but I'm still not convinced you're a hundred percent."

"I'm not."

"What else is there?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Squall…"

"Cloud?"

"I'm not good with this shit, just tell me."

"I bore you."

"You probably will, but I want to know anyway."

"No, I meant the problem is I bore you."

"Oh," Cloud deadpanned and paused for a moment, recalling their brief conversation from the other night. He let out an abrupt snort and started laughing. Leon scowled at him. "You're serious? You think that's a problem?" the blonde asked.

"Why shouldn't that concern me?" the Carrier asked, his voice holding a bit of annoyance.

"Because if I left the first time you bored me, I wouldn't be here. I'd be back with my platoon, probably dead in a ditch ten times over by this point. You've _always_ bored me. I don't hate you for it and I don't expect you to change or fix it ever, either. You don't need to worry about it."

"You're an asshole. You kicked my pride in the testicles for what purpose?"

"You asked me if you bored me and I answered honestly. It's only been a real problem for me a couple times in the past but I got over it. Nothing new has happened. This isn't some earth shattering revelation on my part. It is what it is. Don't flip out," Cloud huffed, dropping the Carrier's wrist and reclining back on the bed, balancing on his palms. Leon glared daggers at him for several quiet minutes.

"I hate you sometimes, you know that?"

"Yeah, and if you didn't, we wouldn't have such a healthy relationship."

"'Healthy' isn't the best choice of terminology."

"I agree, but I am of the firm belief that you don't love someone until you've learned to hate them a little."

"How very poetic, remind me to share that one with the girls. I'm sure they'd get a laugh," Leon grumped and stepped to the Catalogue terminal to unplug Cloud's watch. He had used it while his Charge was in the shower to read the newsfeed. He threw the device at the blonde and Cloud let out an amused laugh as he blocked it from pegging him in the face.

* * *

"Demyx! Please! Stop it! I'm sorry I didn't say anything!" Axel squeaked as his sandy blonde friend pounded punch after punch into his back. The redhead huddled on the floor, balanced on his toes and curled up as small as he could make himself, his hands covering the back of his head. Demyx's assault continued as he beat against his friend as hard as he could. Axel would bruise, but not much else.

"How can you keep that from me?" Demyx barked and wailed on the redhead some more.

"Dem, stop it. Let him talk," Zexion urged and wrapped his arms around his Carrier's waist from behind him and tried to pull him backwards. Roxas felt completely useless standing off to the side, unable to do anything. He would probably leave with a broken arm if he got in between Demyx's swings and Axel but the redhead was curled up too tightly to take any sort of assistance otherwise. The sandy blonde let himself be pulled back, an angry pout smeared across his face. Roxas helped Axel to his feet and the redhead sighed, pulling his shirt back into place and stretching his sore back.

"I'm sorry," the redhead repeated. "Ansem told us not to say anything about Saïx until he could make sure the damage control was in place. But, now it doesn't matter," he sighed. It was hardly twenty minutes ago that they all read over the article Leon and Cloud had seen and the flurry of information had most of the facility in an uproar. Demyx was mostly upset about Axel's secrecy, though there was an underlying mourning for Ansem no one had the heart to voice just yet.

"If it makes you feel better, Terra didn't say anything about Ansem or Saïx when he mentioned his promotion," Ventus interjected from his seat by the exam table. Demyx glanced to him briefly before he sucked in a deep breath and let it out his nose to calm himself. He nodded.

"Okay. Fine. I get it. Sorry," he blurted grumpily. The redhead sighed. "I'm happy that bastard is dead though. Let him fucking rot for all the shit he's done," the sandy blonde spat, crossing his arms over his chest with an angry huff.

"Wait…" Roxas trailed, squinting a bit.

"Saïx. Not Ansem," Demyx corrected.

"Oh. Okay. I kind of agree," the blonde said. Axel nodded.

"I do too."

"Only kind of?" Demyx asked. Roxas nodded.

"Yeah. I understand and agree that he was an awful guy but no one deserves to go like that. Electrocution is inhumane. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it; I would rather he rot in jail. I wouldn't even wish that on Hitler," he said with a light shudder. Demyx's face blanked and his eyes went wide as he cast a glance to Zexion, who looked confused.

"Who?" the steely haired Charge questioned.

"…Adolf Hitler? The guy who came to power in Germany after World War I and started the Holocau—mmph!" Roxas tried to explain but Axel slapped a hand over his mouth before he could say anything more. Demyx sucked in a very sharp breath, his face going white. Zexion looked between the redhead and his Charge confusedly, his mouth turning into a tight straight line. The sandy blonde broke the awkward silence but letting out an overly forced nervous laugh and turning to his Charge with a wide smile.

"So! I think I'm hungry. Let's go eat," he said hurriedly.

"We just ate—"

"You're hungry too? Great! Let's go," Demyx blurted and nudged his Charge towards the door. Zexion resisted.

"No, wait, I want Roxas to explain," he said, his brows kitting together. His Carrier didn't allow him to hesitate any longer. He quickly scooped his lover up and tossed him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and marched towards the doors. Zexion struggled to pull away and wriggle out of his grasp but the sandy blonde held him in place tightly. "Let me go!"

"No! Food!" Demyx cried and hurried along, practically running out of the lab and down the hall, his Charge attempting to cling to every surface to pull himself free but with little success. Axel let out a long breath he didn't realize he was holding and took his hand away from Roxas' mouth. The blonde looked up at him questioningly.

"Yeah, Zexion doesn't know about the Holocaust. Or Hitler. That's a subject Demyx has been avoiding for _years_ ," the redhead explained. Roxas gaped at him.

"How can he keep that a secret? It was kind of a huge deal," he said.

"Well, Zexion came here in 1914, your time. That was before Hitler started all of his bullshit. Demyx has been keeping any history literature pertaining to your plane away from him ever since. He knew about German history even before he went to go get Zexion so he knew what to avoid. The same goes for your history. I knew about 9/11 before it happened," Axel said. Roxas furrowed his brows.

"That's a scary thought."

"Sort of, yeah. It makes me feel selfish for like… not doing anything to change it, but then again, that wasn't my purpose for being there."

"True, but you'd piss a lot of people off on my plane if any of them ever found out."

"I don't doubt that."

"I'm just going to assume you guys are talking about shit I don't need to remember," Ventus said, watching them curiously. His run of pills was officially over and he was well on his way to being healthy. After the discoloration of his urine cleared up and some tests were run, he would be able to begin his first round of stasis.

"Right," Axel said and laughed a bit. He looked to Roxas again. "So, yeah. No more German talk. Just avoid it all together if you can. Let Demyx handle it."

"I just hope Zexion doesn't come to me to ask about it. I wouldn't really know what to say," the blonde said. Axel shrugged.

"Usually Demyx is right there with him. They're hardly ever apart for very long. I wouldn't worry about it."

"Okay. Sorry."

"You didn't know. It's fine. Personally, I'm with you on this one. Zexion should know," Axel said and hugged his Charge briefly. Roxas hugged him back snugly. The redhead kissed his hair.

"So…what now? What's going to happen without Ansem around?" the blonde asked.

"I have no idea. Probably not much, but I can't be completely sure. This Eraqus guy's going to make an announcement in the morning so we'll see what will change and what won't. I can't imagine they'd screw up a system that already works just to accommodate one person's beliefs on how things should change," Axel said. Roxas nodded in agreement.

"It sucks though. Ansem was a good guy."

"I know. I'll miss him, too."

* * *

The next morning was tinged with a sense of sadness with a hint of excitement and anxiety. The worst case scenario was that the Carrier project was going to be disbanded and everyone was going to be drug out into the yard and disposed of. It was an unlikely scenario since the only thing the bureaucrats hated more than restrictions and laws was wasting money, and that's what a facility-wide slaughter would be. But, what the Committee did have the capability to do was make the environment at the facility to heart wrenchingly tortuous that the slaughter would be the preferred alternative. Then again, changing a system that already worked was also a waste of money, so it really only came down to how much the Committee members hated Carriers. No one was feeling very confident.

Everyone had come to a quiet conclusion that they didn't want to sit in their respective labs to toil away during Eraqus' speech by themselves. Chairs were pulled down the halls and convened in Leon and Cloud's lab in front of the Catalogue terminal. Sora and Riku sat next to Axel, who had Roxas sitting in his lap with Ventus to the other side in his own chair. Demyx and Zexion sat together on the floor in front and Leon and Cloud were next to them. Yuffie, Tifa, and Zack sat with them as well, off to the side in their own chairs. Around them, Leon and Cloud's daughters and their Charges scattered the floor, all of them looking anxious with a few sushi containers being emptied between them and boxes of tissues being passed around.

Eraqus appeared on the terminal's screen after several minutes of waiting, sitting in a plain metal chair in his lab coat, a tablet on the table in front of him. His expression was blank, professional, but his features were creased with weariness. He cleared his throat a couple times and looked to his tablet, taking a deep breath. He looked forward again, his eyes shadowed by the loss of a good friend.

" _My friends, it's no secret that things have happened. Obviously, if you're here watching me, it's either by happenstance or you've actually read the article announcing my appearance. At any rate, I'm glad you could join me. My name is Eraqus, and I will be replacing Ansem in his wake. I don't believe the details are necessary at this point, but I will say that any concern that you may have pertaining to Saïx, Xemnas, and their follower's views can be put to rest. I'm not here to make your lives a living hell. I won't spend my time speaking ill of the dead, but my intentions aren't to support or disprove anyone's views. I believe my own are clear enough based on my training alone._

_The changes I propose are to your benefit. It's nothing more than an addition to what Ansem has already started. I am well aware of your mistreatment over the years. I hope to, over the next few months, weed out any extreme cases of misconduct on our end of the organization. I have a list of troublesome Technicians that need either reeducation, or disciplinary action brought against them. Because, the fact of the matter is that the government doesn't support their expensive investments being abused. Whether you agree with the terminology or not is irrelevant, but they see it as the same as an expensive machine being vandalized. They're starting to pay attention more and you have Ansem to thank for that._

_So far, there is no legal action being taken to make Carrier abuse illegal. But, as the Committee sees it, abuse hurts productivity. We've argued and debated for days about what we want to do and we've decided to just keep an eye on things. To do that, we're using Saïx's money he's acquired from his poaching excursions as well as what Ansem left the project in his will to install security cameras in the common areas and laboratories in the facilities. The updates Ansem ordered to the food, weather generators, and landscaping will continue but with security being added in._

_We will give each Carrier/Charge pair the equipment to use. All of it is color video and audio recording. We will install it so that all angles are covered, and then hand the control over to them. They can decide when it's recording and when it's not, but the footage itself cannot be touched, to prevent altering. It will be stored in their Catalogue terminal and can be reviewed, but they cannot delete or change anything. Only a delegated Technician can unlock the footage so that it can be sent to the Committee for disciplinary review. But, because we cannot afford to keep years and years of footage stored, the system will erase the data every two weeks one day at a time as a new day comes in. So that means, if there is anything wrong, you need to report it right away so we can send someone out to deal with it. Do not let any instances of abuse go unheard. It doesn't help anyone in the long run._

_It is your choice whether or not to use the system, but it's there for you if you want to. I strongly suggest you use it as the organization isn't perfect. People fly under the radar all the time and it will only benefit you to help us weed out the bad seeds. Conversely, this means you all will have to behave yourselves as well. What you do with your personal time is your own business and we only expect to see footage of actual wrongdoings versus someone disagreeing with someone else's lifestyle. Needless to say, I don't give a damn who you love or how you love them. Use your judgment. Maintenance personnel will have a terminal installed for the common area footage. Hallways and cafeterias will be monitored as well, but not bedrooms or restrooms._

_As you can imagine, this takes a certain level of trust. I trust you to be civil to the Technicians, regardless of whatever past you have with them. They will have the means to protect themselves, but so long as no one is being provoked, they shouldn't have the need to use force. We will be giving them their electric armaments back as they have the right to protect themselves, but now, so do you. Both sides will be evened out in terms of personal rights within the facility but I urge everyone to be levelheaded to prevent strife and unnecessary violence._

_In order to accommodate all of this we, as Technicians, will be dividing our ranks into new groups geared towards certain tasks. We will be reconsidering applications for new candidates and will broaden our acceptance parameters in order to meet the demand. New employees mean new opportunities, fresh blood, fresh views. I hope we can build a dedicated and fair team_ ," Eraqus said. He paused for a moment, thinking deeply as if he was contemplating continuing or not.

" _I don't know how many of you knew Ansem on a personal level, but he was everything he appeared to be. Firm in his beliefs, compassionate, open minded, stable, but most of all, he was human. The inner personal things were good to have in terms of intrapersonal communications and ideals, but he was a human who stood for equality for everyone. He was rebuilding a world for all of us to enjoy, a place where, several generations of children from now, they can look up and see the natural sky and hear the birds sing without hindrance. He stood for everything that our leaders of the past didn't. He was the most selfless person I ever had the pleasure of knowing and I was honored to call him my friend._

_He left everything to you. All of his worldly possessions will be sold for funding to see his dream realized. He had been saving money his entire life for the day he knew would come; because he wasn't naïve enough to think he would live forever. He valued each and every single one of you. You all were his family, as much as he never said it. I hope that we can all work together and erase the past wrongdoings, just as he tried so hard to. I cannot ask for you to forgive and forget so easily, but I would like to anyway. Moving into the future together is really our only option, lest we crumble and destroy everything a great man worked for._

_I thank you. For everything._ "

* * *

Tifa was in tears. She was so incredibly happy, yet so hormonal at the same time, she just couldn't help herself. She bawled out loud and clung to the front of Yuffie's shirt as the nervous Charge stood with her, waiting for Leon and Zack to situate the new arrival on the exam table. Cloud typed away at the Gestational Terminal, gathering the last of the reports together for review, though the preliminary tests on the virgin Carrier would prove them useless in the long run. At the doors, there was a battle between dozens of pairs of eyes, all of which were trying to look through the tiny windows at the same time. Between Tifa's other siblings, their Charges, and their gaggle of friends, it was a wonder everyone was so quiet. The 'birth' of a new Carrier was always exciting.

"Tifa, please," Yuffie sighed as her friend crushed her face into her bosom almost painfully. The female Carrier sniffled and wailed again before attempting to stand stably and calm herself. Zack was chuckling to himself, almost dropping his son's ankles in the process. The new Carrier groaned tiredly and shivered when he was hoisted up onto the cold exam table. Leon let his shoulders down gently and went to stand out of the way with Cloud, who had finished loading everything into Zack's tablet. Tifa went quiet for all of ten seconds before new tears burst from her eyes and she dashed to the exam table and flung herself on the unsuspecting body. The Carrier grunted loudly under her sudden weight and Zack was quick to pull her off.

"He's so beautiful!" she cried into Zack's chest. The Charge heaved an exasperated sigh and pet her hair comfortingly. Yuffie shifted her weight from foot to foot nervously, watching the Carrier carefully.

"Call us if you need us again," Cloud said and set the tablet aside and stood from his seat. He and Leon left quietly, the massive group outside the doors chattering into an uproar when they left. Axel and Roxas avoided them and poked their heads inside the lab for a quick peek.

"I can't see him very well," the blonde whispered. The redhead stood on his tiptoes and peered in as far as he could, squinting a bit.

"He looks sort of like Josiah. Not exactly, but enough," he whispered back.

"I didn't know Josiah…"

"That's okay. It's not important. But I guess he looks different enough to not make Yuffie cry. Which is good."

"Good. I hope it works out for her."

"Yeah. Let's leave them alone for now. We'll see him again, I'm sure," Axel said and put his hand on his Charge's shoulder. Roxas nodded and they ducked out of the doorway and out of the crowd together.

In the lab though, Tifa was running out of tears. Her excitement bubbled up and made her slightly giddy as she bounced around the lab happily getting out pieces of equipment they would need to check the new arrival over with. Zack, a wide smile plastered on his face, looked the body over carefully for any discoloration or damage. As far as he could tell, he was perfect. Yuffie waited off to the side for her instructions. The Carrier was quiet through most of his preliminary procedures. He could stand, control his limbs, his reflexes were normal, and he could speak, though he seemed to prefer not to. Tifa and Zack took several hours testing him and as far as his first day went, it was a rousing success. Good news all around.

"You'll be staying with Yuffie until you can sleep normally. She'll take you to your room, get you fed, dressed, and do a few more tests before bedtime. In the meantime, did you think of what you want to call yourself?" Tifa asked happily, her wide glittering eyes looking up at her new brother adoringly. The new Carrier looked over his shoulder to Yuffie, who hadn't said much the entire time.

"No," he said simply with a shake of his head. "I was hoping someone had already thought that through."

"I had a few, but I wanted your opinion first. You also have to think about your colors. You're awfully pale," Tifa said, smiling.

"One thing at a time," Zack said. "Personally, I like your first choice," he said, pulling Tifa's attention to him for a brief second. She nodded.

"What's that?" the new Carrier asked. Tifa smiled again.

"Vincent."

* * *

A symbol of rebirth. A new start in a broken timeline.

A life created out of love is never a sin.

Some seeds were lost. Some seeds were planted. All around, it was life as usual.

For twenty years, time seemed to stagnate as loving faces welcomed another new life into their ranks.

In the beginning, he couldn't believe he would get so far. Become so happy, even with the ups and downs.

It was surreal.

The strife, the pain, the suffering, the roller coaster, it was all worth it to see the fruits of their efforts pay off.

And all he ever needed, was a little bit of love, and a lot of time.

Who knew?


	98. Chapter 98

**Epilogue 1**

Twenty years came to pass after Ansem's death. Twenty years of peaceful living with the usual ups and downs that were accepted by the members of the Carrier projects.

Deaths. Lives. All of it came and went with as much emotion as the previous twenty years.

But the difference was the constant happiness. The sense of peace, even in the downswing of hardships. That was new. And cherished.

Life moved forward whether everyone wanted it to or not. Everyone chugged along at their own pace as quickly as they could. With Vincent's acclimation and education into normal Carrier society a rousing success, Tifa and Zack were able to begin working on natural offspring again. Yuffie had spent almost ten years chipping away at Vincent's quiet exterior until he finally gave in and accepted her fully. There were difficulties, mostly pertaining to Vincent's overbearing curiosity at what his other options were, but they slowly dwindled over time as he realized the opportunity he had been presented with. Axel helped considerably, sharing his horror story of an eighty-three year long wait to obtain Roxas. Vincent wasn't a fool and was quite happy with Yuffie once he let his apprehensiveness slide.

For Leon and Cloud, things were… dull. They matured a healthy male and had two more Carriers floating around in their gestational tanks at varying age milestones. They were hoping to begin working on natural offspring again in a little over fifteen years. After their last brood of kids was released into their ecosystem, the little male did his best to repopulate but the very narrow path of genetic diversity wasn't helping things. Lions had become extinct again within a decade and Leon and Cloud were starting from scratch in a lot of ways.

Demyx and Zexion were having the same problems they always had. They had one victory, and that was the maturity of their little peanut, of which they named Franziska after Zexion's grandmother. Frannie was extremely quiet and had budded into an almost exact replica of Zexion's personality, which Demyx gushed about for _weeks_ after she was matured. She was still young and hadn't yet picked a Charge from the registry or finished her education. But other than her, Demyx and Zexion didn't have much progress to show. It was the same old story with the same old problems, but life continued on peacefully regardless. Demyx never did talk to Mary again.

Sora and Riku had some problems. By the time their Carriers had matured (with the accelerated timeline) they had lost another three to mutations, leaving only two that aged to full maturity. One male, and one female. Joey and Alicia. Sora had sulked around for several months after their losses, but Riku was ecstatic to have someone who _finally_ understood his plight in keeping tails in pristine condition and the value of modesty regardless of body form. But, after several more years of trying after the healthy ones were matured, they had one more that seemed stable and was predicted to mature in ten years or so. Riku attributed their successes to Sora's willingness to learn and be a part of the project properly. The brunette had studied for the better part of fifteen years to be able to understand everything his brother did. Roxas and Ventus both helped him every step of the way even though it was a very long and tedious process.

Ventus' parents passed away six years after he was cured of his HIV. Being rampant drug addicts didn't help their case any and he had seen it coming even before he left home so many years before. The amount of abuse they had put their bodies through led to early graves and it made the blonde appreciate his position at the facility even more. He had the opportunity to do something worthwhile with his life, and live a long time doing it. Their losses still hurt, though, and understandably so. He didn't have anywhere to put his parent's material possessions so most of it was sold. He hung onto the memorabilia though, and a quilt his aunt had made him when he was a toddler, but not much else. Roxas had been a little surprised when Ventus moved on so quickly from it, but the older blonde didn't expect him to understand how much he was waiting for it even if he never said anything.

Terra and Ventus' relationship stagnated. Their friendship was never wavering but after Terra moved away, they couldn't do much otherwise. The Technician had to pry himself away from his blonde companion in order to hold onto his job on the Committee, lest he end up in the poor house due to overpriced airfare. After Terra's treatment for his HIV ran its course he was suddenly humbled by how much money he _didn't_ have anymore. Ventus still held a lot of guilt for getting him sick in the first place but Terra insisted it was for the better anyway. They still visited face to face, but very seldom. They were usually cases of opportunity when Terra was assigned in a dome nearby or when Ventus decided to sacrifice a bit of what little money he had to travel out to see him. All in all though, it was fine. They had a healthy friendship still.

As for Axel and Roxas, things were positive. They had had a few problems that were similar to the ones Riku and Sora had, as far as Carrier loss due to mutations went. By the time their accelerated timeline ran its course, they had four healthy and vibrant Carriers to educate. Two girls and two boys. Ansem's drug had mixed reviews after all of the results had been submitted for review. The Committee voted that the ratio of successes to losses was too uneven in a lot of cases and the drug would be optional. They didn't get the mass production they were hoping for, but if anyone wanted to use it and take their chances, they could, but it wasn't mandatory. Roxas and Axel decided against trying again with the drug. They could do without, though they were relatively happy with what it already gave them.

By the twenty year mark, it was beginning to show that their Carriers would face the same problems Axel had in the beginning. Enormous waiting times to retrieve Charges with very small windows of opportunity and downfall timelines. All four of them had picked Charges already but they were all stuck in a virtual limbo as they waited for time to catch up and allow them to leave. The boys, Tidus and Wakka, had very similar personalities and spent their free time together causing mischief and disturbing the peace. They had both been on the wrong end of Leon and Cloud's personalities several times over, but that never curbed their enthusiasm. Axel and Demyx (and sometimes Ventus) were no help and headed out with them often to create a whole mess of debauchery for the other facility dwellers, much to Roxas and Zexion's chagrin. The girls, Yuna and Paine, however, spent most of their free time studying and socializing with Leon and Cloud's girls. Very rarely did Frannie join them, as she tended to keep to herself. Sora and Riku's Alicia had only a few more years to wait before she left to find her Charge and was content with spending time with just about anybody. Her brother Joey was already off on his own seeking his Charge out. He was incredibly lucky to be able to start so quickly.

Roxas and Ventus' relationship hit a plateau after several years of begrudging life together. Axel was thoroughly amused with them and their bickering and he often compared them to Leon and Cloud, just without the sex. It was extremely difficult to spend nearly every day with someone for so long and not form some sort of friendship or at least an estranged civil acceptance. Roxas never really came out and said he liked Ventus in any way but his waning reluctance to spend time with the older blonde was apparent after a while. Axel was satisfied with whatever peace he could get out of them but they did have their moments of arguing where he wished they would both just fall off a cliff. But, the closer the bean grew to maturity, the less arguing there was between the near twins.

"Are you excited?" Axel asked with a wide smile. The only legislation that changed in twenty years was the rule surrounding Carrier clothing. Carriers were allowed to wear normal clothing in regular society so long as they wore a collar and obeyed curfew. The Committee realized that there were so many Carriers that dressed in their Charge's clothing out in regular society that having a rule barring them from doing so was virtually useless. But, for Axel, it made him feel like less of a criminal for having his own wardrobe. They even had to go out and purchase a second armoire to fit it all in.

"Of course I am," Roxas said. The blonde had fallen into the masses of people who lived far beyond their normal lifespan and like them, generally forgot what the date was. He was usually aware of what day of the week it was but as for the month and the day? Not important. All Roxas knew was that he and the redhead were going out. There wasn't much they could do together outside of the facility (as always) but Axel was wearing the jeans Roxas liked on him and he had a bag. What was in the bag, the blonde had no idea, but it clinked when he walked.

"You still haven't realized, have you?" the Carrier teased with a light chuckle. The blonde scowled and racked his brain.

"I'm not missing something monumentally important that you're going to be insulted by, am I? Because I'd feel really bad if I'm missing some sort of anniversary I wasn't aware I was supposed to remember," he said. Axel laughed outright.

"No, not really. I'm not insulted. But you might feel incredibly stupid once you figure it out."

" _Great_ ," Roxas sighed. Axel opened the front door of the facility and held it for him. He smiled and rubbed the blonde's back as he walked passed, a look of mild confusion on his face. The bag clinked again and Roxas looked over his shoulder at the redhead. "Can I at least know what's in the bag?"

"Of course not," Axel chided. Roxas gave him a grumpy scowl and huffed a little. "How very mature."

"Well you're hiding stuff from me and I feel like I should know about it or at least have seen it coming. I really think I missed something important and you're just trying to not make me feel guilty."

"It's not like that, Roxas. You'll be fine. I promise," the Carrier assured and held out his hand. The blonde took it with obvious skepticism still on his face. Immediately, Roxas noticed something different.

"Your hands are _really_ sweaty. Holy crap."

"Are they? Sorry," Axel said and dropped his hand to wipe his palm on his pants. It didn't help very much when they laced fingers again but Roxas didn't react again. They started walking together quietly down the hill and into the city. They headed into the vague direction of Leon and Cloud's house. They veered off behind it and to the left, weaving between the buildings to a path less traveled. Roxas recognized the route and his heart rate sped up.

Heading through the crystalline blue rocks that jutted from their bland landscape, Roxas started to grow nervous. The place they had found so many years ago was still just as inconvenient to get to and by their knowledge, was still a secret. His hands started shaking when they climbed over the uneven sapphire outcroppings, Axel taking special care to help him keep his footing while keeping his bag safe. They didn't visit their strange almost mystical tree very often for fear of disturbing it too much and ruining the space. In twenty years, the tree itself didn't change much, but the tiny lichens and vines climbed up the rock walls, coating the area in a veil of leafy shade. It was a nice place to escape to if the chaos of having siblings got to be too much, but those times were seldom.

"Axel…" Roxas trailed nervously as he tugged off his shoes. Axel started pulling off his own and they left them by the entrance with their socks as they tried to tread as lightly as they could through the sparse groundcover, heading for the ledge on the wall.

"Hmm?" the redhead hummed innocently. He lifted the bag onto the ledge and pushed the creeping vines aside gently so they wouldn't be crushed.

"You're scaring me, why are we here?" the blonde asked nervously. Axel didn't answer but turned to heft him up onto the ledge by his armpits. Roxas scooted back as much as he could, fidgeting as Axel climbed up with him. The area wasn't very big, and they both had to fold their legs underneath themselves in order to fit properly. There was another rock behind Axel to lean back against though, and he relaxed against it before pulling the bag to himself.

"You don't need to be scared," he said. The blonde wrung his hands nervously and heaved an uneven sigh. Axel tucked his legs further into himself so there was a space between them. He opened the bag and produced a champagne flute and set it down. Then another one.

"Oh god what are you doing? I missed something huge. I'm so sorry—"

"Stop it. You're fine," the Carrier interrupted.

"No I'm not, I'm freaking out," Roxas insisted, a dark blush rushing to his cheeks. Axel produced a tiny bottle of champagne and set it next to the glasses and another of sparkling water. The blonde covered his face with his hands, attempting to hide behind them. His nervousness skyrocketed with his guilt, and he had the sudden urge to light himself on fire to dissipate the feelings. He couldn't think clearly but he tried to think of what he could've possibly missed. Axel didn't say anything to help quell his nerves but opted to pull the cork out of the tiny bottle of champagne. The distinct ' _pop_ ' made the blonde flinch and he swallowed mouthful after mouthful of nervous saliva buildup in order to keep himself sane. Axel poured him a glass before cracking open the bottle of fizzy water and pouring it for himself. He put the bottles in the bag and dug around for something else before setting it aside. Then, he waited for Roxas to breathe again.

"Roxas…" the redhead trailed. The blonde took a deep breath and looked to his watch for the date.

"Axel, its March. Nothing happens in March. Why are you doing this? I'm really confused."

"Do I really need a reason to have some romantic alone time with you?" Axel asked.

"Yes, because you said I'd feel stupid when I figure it out so I know I forgot something important."

"You'll feel stupid for being so nervous."

"I already _do_ feel stupid."

"Well, good. Mission accomplished," Axel laughed. Roxas frowned, his brows knitted together tightly. "Oh come on, Roxas. You honestly can't think that's all I brought you out here for."

"I know there's more to it than that."

"Oh?"

"Yes. You went shopping a couple weeks ago and there's a sizeable chunk of money missing from our account. Champagne and a couple of glasses don't cost that much."

"Why do you have to be so damn smart?" Axel asked with a suspicious squinty look.

"I'm overly observant."

"You are. It's true," the redhead sighed. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling the sweat on his palms pull at it more. Roxas allowed himself to relax some as he waited for Axel to speak, his nervousness renewing itself. The Carrier cleared his throat some and found it was suddenly much harder to breathe. He too, had been nervous even before they left the facility and the collar around his neck wasn't helping any. He took a moment to remove the obstructive leather strap and tossed it on top of the bag. Roxas wrung his hands again, fidgeting in his place.

"If I ruined whatever you had planned, you don't have to say anything—"

"No, no, it's not that. I'm just trying to remember what I had planned to say."

"Oh."

"I've been thinking about this for a long time. And, I know it's not legal for us to do anything about, but I'd like you to have my assurance just in case someone changes their mind and says it's okay. If it happens, and we can do it a hundred years from now or something, I want us to be one of the firsts."

"I don't understand…" Roxas said, scrunching his brows together thoughtfully. Axel chewed on his bottom lip and picked up the something he had retrieved from the bag. It was a small box covered in black felt. The blonde's eyes were glued to it and his expression died away along with some of the color on his face. With sweaty hands the redhead pulled open the box to show two simple silver rings, two different sizes but the same design. Roxas paled further.

"Maybe I just like being redundant, and the probability of someone actually legalizing marriage for Carriers, let alone homosexual Carriers, is pretty much nonexistent, but would you like to? If… if they make it legal in our lifetime, that is," Axel asked anxiously. Roxas was speechless. Neither of them could admit that getting married would do anything to their relationship, or add what isn't already there, but the concept itself sounded special regardless. The blonde couldn't think of anything intelligent to say and his arms were frozen at his sides in shock. The hesitation and the long pause threw Axel's frazzled nerves into overdrive and he snapped the box shut and pulled it away. "I'm sorry, it was a stupid idea. You don't have to do anything if you're uncomfortable with it," he blurted quickly. Roxas blinked a few times, snapping out of his euphoria.

"Nonono!" he sputtered loudly and grabbed Axel's hands. "Of course I will! I just… you just surprised me and I couldn't make my brain go. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you think I'd turn you down. Do you really think I'd do that?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't. One of my biggest concerns was that you'd think it was too religious. That we would need a church."

"…Do people not get married in the courthouses anymore?"

"No, they do, I was just over thinking things."

"Well what made you think about this in the first place? Do you think we _need_ to get married?"

"I don't think we need to, but it still sounds nice. Like I said, maybe I like being redundant. I know you probably wouldn't leave me unless I did something horrible to you and I don't ever plan on doing that, but…" Axel trailed with a light shrug. He opened the box again and looked at the rings. "I still like the idea of being able to call you something other than my Charge. 'Lover' comes off as too porny to me most of the time, my 'partner' sounds impersonal, and 'boyfriend' just isn't enough, but 'husband' or 'spouse' tells people of a long commitment; love, dedication, all those extra things people gush about in the movies that sound really nice. I know I have it all from you already but I want everyone else to know too. Does that make sense or am I weird?" he asked, looking to the blonde sheepishly. Roxas shook his head and chewed on his lip in thought.

"I don't think you're weird. It sounds kind of nice. I agree," he said with a small smile. Axel smiled as well and pulled the smaller ring out of its tiny cushion. Roxas held out his left hand and the redhead slid it onto his ring finger. The band was simple with a small geometric pattern engraved through the middle of the circumference. It was silver simply because the amount of non irradiated gold in the world was so small, that only some of the richest people could afford it, and even then, it was hard to find something bigger than an earring stud. Axel's band was the same and Roxas slid it on his hand on the same finger. The box was set aside and they held hands for a quiet moment, simply smiling at each other.

"I'm happy," Axel said and let go of one of Roxas' hands to pick up the glass of champagne. The blonde took it and sipped. "It's probably not as cold as it should be," the redhead said and took a drink of his water. Roxas shrugged.

"It's fine. If you had brought an ice bucket I think I would've been more suspicious," he said and took a longer sip. Axel chuckled and leaned back against the rock again. Roxas finished his glass and set it aside. He scooted closer to the Carrier and deposited himself in his lap. Axel set his class next to the blonde's and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Roxas looked down at his ring and twisted it around his finger a few times. He rested his head against the redhead's chest and heaved a contented sigh.

"Are you excited?" Axel asked again after a long moment of comfortable silence.

"About getting married possibly?"

"I don't think you have to worry about that for a long time. But I was referring to the bean maturing."

"Yes. Extremely," Roxas said and sat up again to look Axel in the eye. The redhead smiled. "I've been waiting for her for a long time. Are you excited?"

"Of course. Anxious, too."

"Yeah. I hope things go smoothly."

"I'm sure they will. She's the only one we _haven't_ had to worry about during her growth," Axel chuckled. Roxas nodded.

"That's true, but I'm still a little nervous," he said. The redhead ran his fingers through the blonde's hair a bit and cupped his hand behind his neck. He pulled Roxas closer and leaned in for a quick kiss, his hand coming forward and resting on the blonde's cheek.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous too," he said quietly, resting their foreheads together and just barely rubbing the tip of his nose against the blonde's. "But, I'm less nervous than I was in years past so I'm fairly confident things will be alright. We'll be fine." Roxas took a deep breath and hugged him around his neck tightly, burying his face in the redhead's neck and inhaling his scent and comfort. Axel wrapped his arms around the blonde and rubbed his back. His Charge pulled back after a moment and pressed their lips together again. The Carrier could feel him relax against him and he allowed himself to calm as well.

"I love you," Roxas breathed against his skin.

"And I love you."

"I'm happy, too. Despite being nervous and stuff."

"Good. Let's keep it that way," Axel said. They kissed again, the dynamic slowly leaking away from a grasp at comfort and transitioning to one a bit more heated. Tongues met as hands dove under layers of fabric, each passing second escalating with sudden impatience. Roxas shifted around to straddle the redhead's hips as Axel started to tug the blonde's shirt up and run his hands over his skin greedily. The blonde shivered but grabbed his wrists to stop him.

"Wait," he said shakily. Axel nearly started to cry. "We can't do this here."

"…You're right. There's secretly a squirrel in the tree that's actually a camera with a direct feed into Demyx's bedroom. I've seen it. The sneaky bastard thinks he can make millions off of our porn. Which, admittedly, sounds like an awesome idea. We need more billboards in this city with your ass on them."

"Don't be a smartass, you know what I mean."

"Yes, I do. Billboards aren't good enough. We need your ass etched in the sky for it to be sufficient. Every time someone looks up they have to give us twenty-five Credits. It's brilliant. You're a genius," Axel retorted, his free hand reaching over to the bag as his other held the blonde's shirt up and he speckled his chest with kisses. He produced a bottle of lube and the blonde's earpiece and Roxas started to laugh.

"You thought this through."

"I have. Well, it wasn't a definite plan. More like wishful thinking. Are you still not okay with it?" the redhead asked, turning his eyes upward to Roxas' face. The blonde was thoughtful for a minute.

"I'm fine. You addressed all of my immediate concerns," he said. Axel smiled and unraveled the cord from around the earpiece and plugged it into his Link. Roxas pulled his shirt over his head and set it aside. The blonde's aversion to rampant displays of sex hadn't changed all that much with time. They were both painfully aware of how much their hideaway echoed and the lack of roof overhead didn't help any. If Axel got loud enough, they would definitely be heard and someone may come looking. Neither of them wanted to face that sort of situation. The lube served its usual practical purpose but was used in excess ever since Roxas went under the knife to have his hemorrhoids removed several years after they were discovered. Axel was fortunate enough to escape that hazard of their sex life but just barely. The caution paid off and they hadn't had a problem since.

The blonde affixed the device to his ear and ran his fingers through Axel's hair as he busied himself with the front of Roxas' pants. The fabric was inched down and around his hips and Roxas made to move so he could pull it the rest of the way down his legs and remove it, but the redhead stopped him. Axel slouched underneath him and pecked along the line of hair under the blonde's navel, using a hand to gently massage Roxas' half hardened length to full rigidity. The blonde combed his fingers though the redhead's hair again, letting out a long breath to help some of the tingling along his skin to subside. Axel hummed his approval of his Charge's petting into the earpiece before enveloping the blonde's tip with his lips and sucking gently. Roxas shuddered and closed his eyes, his fingers tightening on the follicles under his palm.

Axel grew impatient quickly and backed off when his pants started to pinch and strangle him. Roxas took the hint and wiggled out of the rest of his clothing and set it aside as Axel freed himself from his own. The ledge they were on wasn't as spacious as their bed and Roxas didn't have a lot of room to move. He had to stay kneeling on the rock as Axel coated himself liberally with the lube. He couldn't pull his shirt off without unplugging the earpiece and that seemed like too much effort for his suddenly squat attention span. He nudged Roxas' hips downward as he steadied his length with one hand. The blonde braced himself using the redhead's shoulders and gently lowered himself.

"I don't know how well this is going to work," Roxas said unevenly as he adjusted himself. "My knees already hurt."

" _It's alright. I have you. Just relax whatever way is comfortable,_ " Axel said, bracing his hands on either of the blonde's cheeks like a seat and holding him up easily. Roxas leaned one arm back behind himself for support as he pulled his legs up shakily. He put a foot on either side of the redhead and blushed some as he realized how exposed he was. Axel smiled. " _You seem so nervous. It's not like this is anything new._ "

"This position is weird…" Roxas trailed quietly. The redhead chuckled into the earpiece and held Roxas steady as he scooted them back together, forcing himself to sit up and Roxas to wrap his legs around his waist. They sat up together and were right in each other's faces.

" _Better?_ "

"I can live with this," the blonde said and flicked a piece of red hair. Axel smiled and nuzzled his face into the blonde's neck, kissing his pulse several times. Roxas' mobility was pretty much obliterated in this position and the redhead had to lift him and set him down in order to start anything. The blonde tried to move his hips as much as he could but wasn't adding much to the sensations. Axel handled it though and reclined back a little more and moved his hips for him. Roxas' breathing sped up and he used a hand to stroke himself as the redhead's pace sped up.

" _Tell me what you need_ ," Axel said though his throat gave only a grunt in response.

"More," Roxas panted, his cheeks red and his tone hurried. The redhead leaned back against the rock again and grabbed the blonde's rump firmly and picked up the pace, shoving him down over his length with a bit more force. Roxas choked back a cry and stroked himself faster. He leaned forward and braced a hand on Axel's stomach. The fabric of the redhead's shirt surprised him a little, having forgotten it was there, and he pushed it up in favor of being able to feel his skin. Axel's pace became more erratic as climax grew closer and within a few minutes, he shoved Roxas down one more time and released inside him, and airless squeak escaping his throat and a loud bark of pleasure echoing through the earpiece. His hands immediately went to Roxas' and he shooed the blonde's hands away from himself and took over, pulling an orgasm out of his Charge quickly. They relaxed together for a moment, attempting to catch their breaths.

"You wouldn't have happened to have brought a rag, would you?" Roxas asked as he reached for the bag. Axel chuckled and stuffed his hand inside and pulled out a washcloth. He took it and the rest of his sparkling water and leaned over the edge of the rock and doused the fabric in the liquid. Roxas pushed himself up and Axel reached underneath him and wiped him clean before wiping himself. It wasn't perfect, but it was enough to not feel disgusting on the trek home.

"You want to know how prepared I am?" Axel asked breathlessly.

"How prepared are you?"

"I left the bedroom window unlocked so we can sneak inside and wouldn't have to go through the halls and alert everyone to how much we smell."

"That's hilarious," the blonde said with a light laugh. Once they were reasonably clean he laid himself over the redhead and wrapped his arms around his midsection. Axel tossed the rag aside and hugged his Charge close and ran his hands over his skin and through his hair.

"My ass is cold," Axel blurted after a few minutes. Roxas snorted and started to laugh.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could help."

"It's alright, I don't mind. We should probably get going though, before that squirrel has the opportunity to sell the video on the internet."

* * *

Ventus was a little different after twenty years of progression. He removed the piercings from his nose and eyebrow, but got three more in each ear. He also removed the Prince Albert from his genitals, kept the others, but replaced his loss with more tattoos down his arms. Roxas had mixed feelings about it all, as usual, but he couldn't say much because it wasn't his body. Ventus had proven to be quite efficient otherwise, though. He had quick hands and could maneuver most of the machines with ease. He was a great help over the years, even if Roxas never cared to admit it. Axel spoke for him though and was always grateful.

"Things are looking good," the redhead said, several hours after he and Roxas came back. He was standing in front of the gestational tank where the bean was floating peacefully. She wasn't much of a bean anymore and fully grown. They were just waiting for the Gestational Terminal to tell them she was ready. Though, if she had to come out now, there probably wouldn't be a problem. But, for as excited as everyone was, they didn't want to take that chance.

"Soon?" Ventus asked excitedly, fidgeting in his spot some.

"Very. Tomorrow, or maybe the day after," the redhead said, stepping to check her status on the terminal screen. Ventus grinned and squished himself up against the gestational chamber lovingly.

"I'm so excited," he said, bouncing a little.

"I can tell. I'm excited for you. Have you talked to Yuffie at all?"

"No, why? Should I have?"

"Well it would probably be to your benefit to ask about any problems she may have had with Vincent."

"…That's a good idea, actually. I think I will," Ventus agreed and dashed away to go hunt down Yuffie. He breezed past Roxas on his way out, the younger blonde looking rather confused. He decided not to ask and went to Axel, quickly sliding under his arm and taking a seat on his knee. He leaned back against the redhead and watched the numbers on the terminal screen. Everything was looking good and just a few percentage points away from being perfect. Axel hugged him around his waist and laid his head in the crook of the blonde's neck.

"I'm happy we could get this far so quickly. I'm so thankful you're with me," the redhead sighed. Roxas smiled and weaved their hands together on his stomach.

"Oh god, they're doing it again," a voice chimed with an exasperated sigh from the doors. They turned to see who it was and Tidus took that as an open invitation to barge in. The young Carrier give them a light hearted smile and helped himself to sitting on the exam table. He ran his fingers through his wild wheat colored hair a few times and took a deep breath, his expression dropping some.

"What's wrong?" Roxas asked. Tidus hesitated.

"Well, I was going through the Charge registry again, and I found that Wakka and I have a few new candidates. Is there any way we can change our choices?" he asked.

"Are they better candidates that then original ones?" Axel asked. Tidus gave a small shrug.

"They're not all that different, really. The timelines are what I'm more concerned about. I would be able to leave in fifty-six years versus the original seventy-three."

"Well… that's better. Not perfect, but better. We'll have to contact the Committee to see if they started preparing your starting environment," the redhead said. Tidus nodded.

"Yeah."

"You don't seem very excited about that."

"Discouraged. Wakka doesn't seem to have a problem waiting for his and I'm a little envious. I wish I was that patient."

"Sounds familiar," Axel laughed. Tidus sighed a bit and kicked his feet idly. "We'll message the Committee and see what we can see. Hopefully, they'll pay attention and aren't too busy to answer. If you really feel this new candidate is sufficient, that is."

"I do."

"I would like to check over their credentials first," Roxas said. Tidus looked to him with a scowl.

"If you don't like them does that mean you'll make me wait anyway?" he asked. The blonde shook his head.

"No, I'm not that much of an asshole. I just want to see what we're changing to."

"Oh."

"I wonder if Eraqus would let someone from this plane come in and be your Charge? Someone like Ventus," Axel said thoughtfully. Roxas rubbed his brows.

"Not another Ventus, please."

"No I meant someone in his situation."

"I'd be up for that," Tidus said. Axel nodded.

"Maybe we can ask him when we ask the Committee about the other stuff."

"That'd be cool."

"It would be. Give us a chance to talk and we'll let you know," the redhead said and patted Roxas' rump. The blonde took the hint and got off him and Axel went to Tidus. The younger Carrier gave him somber eyes. "I've been there before. I know how much it sucks. But you need to be patient otherwise you'll torture yourself. The wait is the hardest part but really, it's worth it for the right person. Don't base your decision solely on the timeline they give you. Compare personalities and see what appeals to you the most. Alright?" he asked. Tidus looked thoughtful for a moment before he nodded.

"Okay."


	99. Chapter 99

**Epilogue 2**

Organization was nice to have. Everything in its proper place and easily found when the situation called for it. Leon was very organized. Cloud could follow the pattern of organization well enough but often didn't have the patience to establish his own system. So, he followed his Carrier's more than anything else and the lab was kept incredibly neat. The only time things became jumbled was when Leon went through the storage closet to sift through supplies and toss out the old and expired things and rearranged them around for optimum efficiency. Taking inventory was a tedious process and Leon sighed and huffed and puffed the entire time, while Cloud held down the fort outside of the closet.

"Holding up alright?" the blonde asked, poking his head around the door frame and taking in Leon's irritated body language as he sat on the floor in front of a pile of boxes, a clip board and a pen in one hand. The Carrier looked over his shoulder at him and nodded.

"Just fine," he said grumpily and tipped a box towards himself to see what was inside. "Why do we have so many fucking Petri dishes? We're not doing research."

"I have no idea. It wasn't very long ago that we were. They're probably just leftovers," Cloud said and stepped over another pile into the tiny space. Leon scowled and stood.

"Get out of here. I'm already getting claustrophobic without your chunky ass taking up the rest of my breathing space," he spat. The blonde shrugged.

"I'm a very pivotal part of this project. I have just as much right to be in here as you do."

"Fine," Leon said and scribbled on his clip board quickly. He held it out for Cloud to look at and the blonde took it.

_Useless blondes: 1_

"Charming," Cloud sighed and handed it back.

"I thought so too," the Carrier agreed and turned back to his boxes. He picked up a pack of Petri dishes and took one out and poked at the nutrient rich gel inside. It was dry and cakey and he deemed that the whole lot of them had gone bad a while ago. He hefted the box up with the intention of forcing Cloud to take it outside to be disposed of. When he turned though, he startled and nearly dropped it as his Charge was hardly an inch away from him. Cloud took it and set it aside.

"It's Sunday."

"I'm aware of this," Leon said.

"We need to get outside and do your checkup at some point. You've been in here for hours."

"Yes, well, it needs to be redone."

"Take a break and let's get your paperwork done."

"I can't finish this first?"

"It'll all get done today eventually. Take a break."

"I don't want to."

"Squall."

"Cloud."

"Take a break."

"Ulterior motive?"

"Possibly."

"I see. Alright, fine," Leon sighed and set his clip board aside and crossed his arms over his chest. Cloud stepped to him and cupped his face between his hands and pressed their lips together briefly. They broke apart but the blonde held onto him. They stared at each other for a moment before Cloud's hands slid away and down under his arms. He hugged the Carrier around the chest and laid his face on his shoulder. Leon was a little confused but wrapped his arms around his shoulders anyway, hoping that a clue would pop up soon so he could know what to think. "Are you alright?" he asked after several minutes of silence. Cloud nodded.

"Yeah. I'm not really sure why I felt like I needed to do this."

"Did you want to call it an early day after we're done outside?"

"Maybe. I'll let you know."

"Okay," Leon said and gave him an extra squeeze and rubbed between his shoulder blades. Cloud stood straight again and the Carrier leaned up to give him another chaste kiss. Then another. "You know…"

"Hmm?"

"Contrary to popular belief, I really do love you," Leon said quietly. Cloud smiled a bit and ran his fingers through the ends of the Carrier's hair. It took a long time for Leon to understand that the blonde's silence wasn't a bad thing after their rare moments of pure affection. That so long as Cloud didn't flinch away from him afterward, it was fine and the feelings were mutual.

"I…know you do," the Charge said hesitantly, but the smile didn't fade. Leon smiled as well. There was a moment of silence before the blonde cleared his throat some and fidgeted. "So, we should probably get outside and do your checkup."

"You _sure_ we need to do it right now?"

"…I'm sure we need to do it soon, yes."

"Completely sure?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely?"

"…Maybe."

"I caught that hesitation."

"I know. You're tempting me."

"Purposefully, but you only have yourself to blame. You didn't have to come in here and disturb me," Leon said, sliding his hands off of the blonde's shoulders and down his chest. He idly picked a piece of fuzz off of Cloud's shirt before snaking his arms down and around his torso and tucking his hands into the blonde's back pockets. The Charge's face didn't change but his skin betrayed him and broke out in goosebumps. Leon's smile spread and turned darker. He leaned up and ghosted his lips over Cloud's again.

"Outside," the blonde whispered hoarsely. Leon chuckled lowly and laid a gentle peck, just the barest brush of skin against his bottom lip. His hands kneaded Cloud's rump through the pockets forcing the blonde to grit his teeth. "Outside," he repeated.

"No fun," the Carrier purred and ducked his face to the side to peck a line up the blonde's neck. Cloud let out a long sigh and grabbed Leon's shoulders and pushed him back and held him at arm's length.

"You're trying to kill me," he said with a light glare.

"Not intentionally. Did you learn not to disturb me while I'm trying to get something accomplished?"

"Not at all."

"Well… then it's a lesson for another time," Leon said and pulled his hands out of Cloud's pockets and stood straight. Cloud let go of him with an exasperated sigh and trudged out of the closet, stepping over the piles of supplies carefully. Cloud retrieved his tablet and they headed out of the lab together and down the halls and out into the pool area. It was busy that day. Riku and Alicia were climbing the magnolia tree, having left Sora in their dust. The brunette was taking a light snooze at its base. In the distance, Demyx and all of his siblings were racing around chasing one another, except for Frannie, who was lying calmly in the grass with Zexion. Axel was lounging in the shallow end of the pool while Roxas was checking things off his tablet with a line of tigers in front of him. He called out body parts to be checked and the cats obliged him and presented the parts to him to be examined.

"Front left," the blonde said and each cat lifted their front left paw and wiggled and flexed their toes at him, showing that everything was operational and without pain. He rambled off part after part while Leon and Cloud ignored him and went about their business. The Carrier made his way behind the waterfall rock formation to change, Cloud following after him while idly looking at his tablet. The blonde loitered around while Leon disrobed. The Carrier watched him suspiciously but stopped with his pants partially open.

"Why are you back here?" he asked with a small amused smile.

"Hm?" Cloud grunted, looking at him. His eyes hesitated for a split second on his face before dropping to Leon's open zipper. He immediately looked back at his tablet. "No reason," he blurted. He forcibly turned himself and started walking away but the Carrier stopped him and pulled him back. Before Cloud could react, their mouths were crushed together. His tablet was dropped, and his hands immediately went to the Carrier's skin. They were lost in one another for almost a minute before there was a loud grumble and a soft snort. They froze, lips stuck together and eyes going wide. They looked behind Leon and there was Axel, sitting innocently and watching them curiously. The message was clear. ' _Get a room, guys._ ' They pulled apart immediately, Cloud wiping the back of his hand across his mouth to rid himself of the excess saliva. Axel walked on, leaving them to it.

"Where were you?" Roxas asked confusedly when his Carrier came back to the pool. He was finishing the last bits of his reports for the other four. Axel couldn't respond but didn't make a move to. The blonde shrugged it off. Leon eventually came out from behind the waterfall in his Primal form with Cloud right on his heels and they went about their _proper_ business. After a few minutes of silence the door leading inside flew wide and Ventus bounded out of the facility excitedly.

"Roxas!" the older blonde squeaked and plowed into the younger full force. He yanked on Roxas' arm and pulled him towards the door. "She's ready! Come on!" he said breathlessly. He had spent the better part of the day staring at the Gestational Terminal, waiting for the proverbial pot to boil. It had been a long day so far. Axel quickly hauled himself up again and headed back behind the waterfall to change back.

"Hang on!" Roxas barked as his arm was nearly pulled out of its socket. Ventus whined a bit and fidgeted.

"But she's done!"

"Okay, that's good, but I need to finish this first. Just a minute," he said. The older blonde grumbled to himself and bounced in his place some. "Don't pee yourself, now," Roxas chided, poking away at his tablet as quickly as he could.

"You don't understand. I've been waiting for this forever. You have no idea what it's like to have to _wait_ for your life to have meaning," Ventus grumped.

"I think you're thinking too far into this," Roxas said blandly.

"But it's what it is for me. It's what it's _always_ been for me."

"Okay, and a few more minutes isn't going to change anything. We need to wait for Axel anyway so just calm down before you hurt yourself."

"Fine. Whatever. Take your time, I'm going back inside," Ventus huffed and quickly made his way towards the door. Roxas sighed and finished what he needed to and looked across the grass to where the others were.

"You guys!" he called and the cats turned to him. "It's time!" he yelled and they all perked up considerably and started trotting towards him. Axel jogged out from behind the waterfall, dressed and ready to go.

"I heard Ventus," the redhead said. Roxas nodded.

"He's a bit excited."

"Think we should keep him away? For a little bit at first?"

"I think so."

"Alright," Axel said and leaned down to kiss the top of the blonde's hair. He jogged back to the waterfall where his siblings were changing back and getting dressed. "Hey," he said and they looked to him expectantly, Yuna being the first to change back fully.

"What is it?" she asked, running her fingers through her mousy brown hair and pushing it back into place.

"I need you all to keep Ventus away from the bean. Just for a little bit. He's a bit excited and I don't want her to be crowded," he said. She nodded and pulled her shirt over her head. Axel went back to Roxas and they went inside together. The older blonde was rushing around the lab, mostly pacing impatiently, but apparently he had been preparing. The draining sequence on the Gestational Terminal was set to go to work at a press of a button and there were towels and blankets set out already. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Axel and Roxas entered.

"Finally!" he sighed and made his way over to the Gestational Terminal.

"Whoa, hang on," Roxas barked.

"Ventus, you need to take a deep breath," Axel interjected. The older blonde was less than a foot away from the buttons. He hesitated and looked to the redhead.

"I did. I just want her out so I can meet her."

"I know, but you might scare her if you can't calm down," he said, stepping to Ventus and giving him concerned eyes. The blonde swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. He nodded and bypassed the redhead and plopped himself in a chair and tapped his foot anxiously. Axel sighed. "I think it would be best if you waited outside until we can get her up and moving," he said. Ventus' jaw dropped.

"No way! You can't have me just… _not_ be a part of this. She's mine!" he said defensively.

"But she was mine and Roxas' first, don't forget. I just don't want any problems. Give us a couple hours and we'll come get you," Axel assured. Ventus gaped at him for a moment, speechless. He looked at Roxas.

"Roxas?"

"I agree with him," the younger blonde said. The doors were pushed open and the four other siblings filed in. Paine went to Ventus and held out her hand to him.

"Let's go get some dinner. We can come back later," she said quietly. Ventus furrowed his brows together.

"I want to stay," he said.

"I know you do, but we're not allowed to be in here either," she said. He gnawed on his bottom lip and looked to Axel again.

"You _promise_ you'll come get me?" he asked. Axel nodded.

"Yes," he said. Ventus heaved a long sigh and stood from his chair. He hesitated a bit and looked back to his Carrier floating in her cylinder. The redhead's heart ached for the older blonde, it really did. He understood the wait more than anyone and he sympathized. The look of absolute longing on Ventus' face picked at his resolve but Paine pulled the blonde away before Axel could crumble apart and give in. When the doors swung closed behind them the redhead let out a deep sigh. "Oh man, he almost got me," he said with a light laugh. Roxas shrugged.

"I guess I don't understand. It's not like he's never going to meet her, he just needs to give us a minute," he said.

"You wouldn't understand. But it's alright. I don't hold it against you," Axel chuckled and went to the Gestational Terminal. Roxas sighed and shrugged again and clicked away on his tablet, pulling up templates for reports. Axel started the draining sequence and the machine buzzed to life, sucking the liquid down, the bean floating gently to the bottom with it. Roxas' heart rate sped up with his happiness as the redhead pulled the gestational tank's door open. "Oh wow," he said.

"What is it? What's wrong?" the blonde blurted, suddenly scared. He stood on his tiptoes to try and see over Axel's crouched frame.

"Nothing, she's just really tiny," he said, pulling the little female into a sitting position. He patted her back firmly and she coughed a lungful of liquid up and onto his arm.

" _I'm_ tiny. None of our Carriers are particularly huge like you are," Roxas grumped. Axel chuckled.

"True. But I think she's smaller than you are. I don't remember making her this little but then again, the genetic maps are a guideline, nothing concrete," he said.

"Move your butt," the blonde said, nudging Axel to the side. He squished his face into a small available space to see the female. "You were making it sound like she was abnormally small. She can't be that much shorter than I am," he said with a roll of his eyes. She sucked in a ragged gulp of air and coughed a few more times before settling back groggily on Axel's arm. The redhead took that as a cue that she was done spewing water everywhere and wedged his other arm under her legs and lifted her easily. "How much do you think she weighs?" Roxas asked as they headed to the exam table together.

"I would be surprised if she was over a hundred pounds," the redhead said and gently lay the female on the blanket Ventus had set out. Roxas set his tablet aside and pulled up the sides and wrapped them around her. Axel took a towel and wiped her face dry and squeezed some of the liquid from her hair. She coughed a few more times, which was normal. She would be burping and hacking up gestational liquid for at least a week while the rest of her body adjusted to solid life. A flash of movement caught Axel's attention out the corner of his eye and he looked to the doors to see a dozen pairs of eyes staring at them, the most prominent being the enormous blue ones that belonged to Ventus.

"Bunch of vultures," Roxas grumbled and hurried over to the storage closet and rifled through its contents. Axel crossed the lab and pulled over a chair to the table and took up Roxas' tablet.

"Can we see, yet?" came a voice from the doorway, pulling the redhead's attention to it. The top of Sora's head and his eyes peeked around the door at him.

"We'll call everyone when she's ready for you all," Axel responded dully and crossed the room. He nudged Sora out and pushed the doors closed and pulled the curtains down over the windows. There was a communal groan from out in the hallway from everyone present that made the redhead laugh a little. He returned to his seat just as Roxas came back out of the closet pushing the cart of medical instruments they were going to use for her initial physical. The blonde pulled up a seat next to him and sat quietly, waiting for instruction. After a moment of quiet, the female coughed again and groaned a bit, pulling her eyes open slowly. She blinked against the light and attempted to push herself up. Axel and Roxas launched themselves from their seats to help her sit up. The shivers set in quickly and the blanket was pulled up over her shoulders again. She shakily pulled the fabric tight around her shoulders and heaved a deep wheezy breath. She stared ahead of herself for a few minutes, letting her eyes adjust before looking to Roxas and Axel in turn.

"Hi," Roxas said, giving her a smile. She gave him an unsure smile in return.

"Are you aware of yourself?" Axel asked. She nodded.

"I am a Carrier," she said quietly, her voice a bit on the high end in terms of pitch but it wasn't grating or annoying, which Roxas was happy for. Axel nodded to her and smiled, taking Roxas' tablet and making a note of her confirmation.

" _Panthera Tigris_ ," he said calmly and went to take a seat. She nodded, mulling the information over. "Model number?" he asked. She squinted a little as she thought about it.

"Rl11u," she said. Axel nodded and took note. It was all basic information Carriers knew when they came out of their gestation, along with the ability to speak, read, write, and walk. Everything else, though, had to be taught. She understood who Axel and Roxas were, and what her role was. The physical exam was after the basic questions. Just a general look over to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be. As it turned out, she was two inches shorter than Roxas making her stand at a whopping five foot and one inch, and weighed just under a hundred and five pounds. A pelvic, breast, and oral exam was done as well. Everything was in its place and seemed to be working just fine, but only time would explain the unknowns away. It took a couple hours to complete the checkup and by that time, the female had been up and walking around and was ready to continue on by herself. She was given some bland beige clothing to wear, which was a little oversized, but she didn't complain.

"Did you want to spend the night with us? Or with someone else?" Axel asked. She shrugged, seeming indifferent.

"Where's the other Roxas?" she asked.

"Other Roxas?" Roxas asked. She nodded.

"Yes, there were two of you for a while. Maybe it was the way the glass was shaped," she said.

"You mean Ventus," Axel said. She shrugged.

"Sure? I don't know who he is but he was there just as much as you two were. I just assumed he was important. I remember seeing a few others too, will I meet them?" she asked.

"You'll have a chance to meet everyone soon but I wanted to sit and talk with you about your Charge first," the redhead said. She nodded and pushed herself back onto the table to sit. Roxas plugged his tablet into the Catalogue terminal and started typing away, sending the new information and reports through to the Committee. Axel took a deep breath. "It's a long and involved story but it all boils down to Ventus. He joined us when you were hardly developed with the idea that he would be your Charge. Now, you don't have to choose him and if you find you really don't like him, just say the word and we can assign him to someone else. You have four other siblings who are compatible with him and are waiting a _long_ time for their Charges. They've all expressed an interest in him if you rejected him so I don't want you to feel obligated to something you're not comfortable with," he explained. She blinked a few times.

"That's really strange. He looks so much like Roxas…it's awkward."

"I know, but once you meet him and get to know him you'll feel less weird about it, I'm sure. They're completely different. But I want you to be on the same page here in terms of what's happening."

"I understand. You say a long wait for the others? How long?"

"Yuna's is the shortest at sixty-four years. Tidus was looking at a different Charge that was a little less than that but we haven't confirmed anything for him yet," Axel said. Her expression fell.

"That's a long time…" she trailed. He nodded.

"It seems to be a common theme with our kind, unfortunately. Regardless of what your decision is, just having one of you with a Charge already won't allow us to work on natural offspring right away. We still have to wait for all the others and for at least five more Carriers to mature and get settled. So you don't need to feel pressured to make a decision you'll regret or be rushed to make. But the option is there. He's really excited to meet you."

"Oh. Well, I suppose I can go meet everyone now, if we're done?" she asked.

"If you're up to it. But did you want to spend the night with us tonight?" he asked again. She thought it over for a moment and nodded.

"That would be best, I believe."

* * *

Ventus had retreated into his bedroom after an hour of waiting. He managed to nervously choke down some food with the other siblings and the majority of their friends. He tapped his foot anxiously as he browsed the internet, hoping for something amazing to happen and pull his boredom away and give him some peace. It wasn't helping. There was a clock in the lower left hand corner of the browser that showed each agonizing minute tick by. He was growing impatient. He had been there when the other siblings matured and helped with their physicals and preliminary checkups. He wondered if the only reason he was allowed in was because all four of them came out at once and Axel and Roxas needed the extra hands. Probably. But the part that bothered him the most was that the exams only took a couple hours. This one was bordering on four. He was getting worried.

There was a quiet knock on his door, just when he was considering going out and hunting Axel and Roxas down again. He leapt from his seat and tripped over one of the legs and stumbled clumsily out of the Catalogue terminal's room. He took a quick detour past a mirror and fussed with his hair for a moment before dashing to the door and throwing it open excitedly, expecting Axel to be standing in front of him. The redhead was nowhere in sight but the colorless female was. She fidgeted in her place some. One of her sisters had donated a hair clip and brushed the untamed follicles into submission for her behind her head. Her oversized shirt dwarfed her already small frame but Ventus didn't care in the least. He was speechless. He hadn't expected to see her by herself so quickly.

"Hello," she said quietly. He blinked a few times.

"H-hi," he sputtered. "Where are Axel and Roxas?"

"…Did you want to see them instead?" she asked. He hurriedly shook his head.

"No! No. No, I just didn't think they'd let you walk around by yourself just yet."

"They were hesitant, but I insisted. I wanted to talk to you," she said. He nodded and opened the door all the way for her to move past him and get inside. She coughed a few times as she sat on the edge of his bed, looking around. He closed the door and sat next to her, a reasonable distance away, afraid he might crowd her or be too tempted to reach out and touch her. "Axel explained the general idea of what we're supposed to be doing."

"Oh yeah? What do you think?" Ventus asked, trying to keep his voice as even as he could. The female looked to him and gave him a once over.

"I'm unsure of what I want. I haven't looked to my other options yet, but I understand what an opportunity this is for the project. For me. For us. I remember seeing you waiting outside my chamber for many years and Axel said you're excited. I just… I've been bombarded by a lot today so far. I've only been breathing air for a few hours and I don't want you to think I'll be making a decision any time soon," she said. The blonde's demeanor crumbled a bit, but he wasn't surprised. "But, I'm willing to give it a chance. To get to know you and everything."

"That's all I want right now," Ventus lied. Part of him wanted desperately to toss her on the bed and make an immediate connection with her but his sensible side told him what a disaster that would be. She smiled and nodded some. "Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked.

"Not at this moment. I'll need you soon, probably. I need to study and to get acclimated. You can probably help me then, if Axel and Roxas allow you. Roxas seemed the most reluctant to leave us alone together."

"Ah, yeah. We aren't exactly a hundred percent friends. We tolerate each other at best most days," Ventus laughed. "Is that a problem?"

"Not to me, no. Not yet anyway," she said with a small shrug. She looked him over again, focusing on the dark tattoos on his arms and the piercings in his ears. Ventus fidgeted again.

"Something wrong?" he asked. She looked thoughtful for a moment but shook her head.

"No, just taking in the differences. Forming an opinion."

"Can I ask what that opinion is?"

"I'm…intrigued. Did any of your… adornments hurt? They don't seem like things most people around here have. Even the few other Charges I've seen seem relatively plain."

"Well, I pride myself on being a bit different than everyone else. I have more, but that would require my clothing being removed and I'm not sure that's entirely appropriate at this time," he said and cleared his throat some. She smiled again.

"Probably not right now, no. I want to at least read your file."

"Oh god don't look at that stupid thing."

"Afraid of what I might find?"

"Yes, actually. It makes me look horrible," Ventus sighed.

"Well…I suppose I don't have to read it. I can give you a chance to tell me about yourself and I can read it afterward to rule out the inconsistencies."

"If I tell it all to you it'll sound way less detrimental. I'd prefer it. I don't have anything to hide but the cut and dry way of _reading_ something rather than having it explained with a story attached leaves very little room for consideration. Um… we can do that now if you have time," he offered. She thought about it before nodding and pushing herself back onto the bed and folding her legs comfortably.

"I have a lot of time, apparently."

* * *

Roxas hurriedly yanked the disheveled sheets off the bed and rolled them into a ball and stuffed them in the dirty laundry bin. He pushed open the window in an attempt to air out the bedroom quickly. He hadn't expected Axel to jump him when they got back from dinner and his plans of having a clean bed to invite their newest addition into for the night wasn't holding much water. In fact, there was no water in the room at all but a balled up mass of bedclothes with eighty-five gallons of Axel's semen attached to it. That was an exaggeration, but not much of one. The blonde grumbled under his breath at his lover's ability to produce so much fluid at one time as he flung the blankets around, making sure of what he could leave on and what he couldn't. The shower was running as Axel cleaned himself up, Roxas having finished his own shower only a few minutes before.

By the time the young female knocked on their door, Axel had exited the bathroom in a pair of pajama pants and Roxas had made the bed presentable again. He dug out a pair of his own pajama pants and a plain t-shirt and handed them off to the Carrier to change into. He had hinted that she could change in the bathroom but apparently she had Axel's modesty and opted for disrobing right in front of them. Roxas sputtered around the bedroom, averting his eyes while the redhead tried to hold in his laughter. They crawled in the bed together and waited for her. She timidly lay between them and settled against the pillows with a sigh. Axel leaned over the edge of the bed and dug around in the side table before coming back with a stuffed Tigger and handed it to her. She seemed puzzled.

"What's this for?" she asked.

"Cuddling. It helps," Axel said with a knowing smile. She held the stuffed toy out in front of her and rubbed its cottony fur between her fingers, looking it over carefully.

"If you say so," she said.

"How was your visit with Ventus?" Roxas asked. She chewed on her bottom lip.

"It was… informative. He told me the stories about the things I would read in his file. It was…interesting."

"You can rest assured he hasn't done anything close to those things in over a decade. He's had a couple of partners since he came to live here, but nothing nearly as bad as what it once was. And, he's clean and healthy. So you really don't need concern yourself with all that if you don't want to," Axel said.

"I understand the appeal of keeping it in the back of your mind, but Axel's right. Ventus has a dirty past in a few ways but he's fine now," Roxas said. "We clash every now and again but I really don't have much to hold against him anymore other than petty things."

"He said as much," she said, picking at Tigger's ear a little.

"What do you think about him otherwise, though?" the redhead asked.

"He's polite, nice, has an odd sense of humor I don't really understand yet, and he looks a little intimidating with all of his extra…parts he has on him. But they don't reflect his personality in the least so I have a hard time getting the right idea. He seems intelligent too, so I don't doubt that he'd be a competent Charge," she said.

"It's true. He's up to speed on everything so far," Axel said and lay back against the pillows on his side. She nodded and pulled the blanket up a little higher, shivering a bit. "Cold?" he asked.

"Some. I've been shivering on and off all day."

"That'll go away in a couple days," he said and scooted a bit closer and leaned against her, offering some warmth. Roxas followed suit on her other side and the shivering stopped after a few minutes.

* * *

"You can't walk around without colors and expect Ventus to pay much attention to you," Yuna chided and flicked through her Catalogue terminal. Several weeks had passed since her newest sister had been matured and the colorless female was making progress in all fields except the personal ones. There was a great debate going on over her name and her colors, mostly being made by her sisters. Paine and Yuna would sit with her for hours tossing ideas back and forth while she mostly ignored them and studied. Ventus seemed interested in her regardless of what she looked like so she was comfortable just the way she was. But they were insistent.

"He seems find to me," she said quietly, flipping another page in her textbook idly. In order to receive some peace, she allowed herself to be hooked up to the Catalogue terminal while Yuna flipped through colors for her eyes and hair. The style would probably be another ongoing debate she wasn't prepared to have. Again, she just didn't see the point at the moment.

"So you think, I just don't want him to lose interest. Do you like—"

"I don't really know what I like, yet. Just… I don't know, Yuna. I'd really rather you guys let me decide when I want to do this."

"Well you need _something_."

"Then you decide for me. Pick…pick a blonde like Roxas' color and give me a green like Axel's eyes," she huffed and closed her book grumpily. Yuna shrugged and flipped through the color wheel, watching her carefully as the yellow prism shined by. She stopped on a golden honey color that was just a bit more yellow than Roxas' hair color. She quickly switched to her sister's eyes and picked a bright emerald. Satisfied, she turned to the style catalogue and began searching.

"Do you want a lot of hair?" Yuna asked.

"Sure, fine, whatever," she spat back. The stresses of having sisters were already getting to her and she doubted they would go away anytime soon. Yuna sighed and clicked through the styles, finding one that was unique. No one in their family had particularly long hair aside from Axel, and even then, his wasn't much past his shoulders. She found one that would trail down to her sister's waist in choppy pieces and allow for endless of options in styling and hair accessory options. Her sister wasn't a fool. She saw the hidden agenda. Yuna's love for all things dress-up related was painfully obvious. Paine had to take the brunt of the abuse over the years, their pieced together wardrobes and thousands of hair danglies and thingamajigs a telltale sign of the eldest sister's obsession. Yuna selected the style and sat back, satisfied with her choice.

"We'll get you all dressed up and pretty for him. No worries," she said with an enthusiastic smile.

"I wasn't worried to begin with," the sister said and unplugged her Link and dropped the cord on the floor.

"You really need a name though. It's more important than this stuff."

"I read in one of these books that in Roxas' plane, there's a language that says that 'Riku' means 'land.' I sort of like that," she said, pushing her pile of texts around to find the history books she was given. "I like the idea of being associated with the thing flowers come from."

"Well we already have a 'Riku,' you can't just take his name."

"But I'm not a 'he' so it's different."

"I'm not so sure you should take the exact name. Maybe we can switch it around a little so it's a bit more unique. A lot of the names around here don't make much sense. Demyx? Where the hell did he get that?" Yuna laughed. Her sister smiled.

"I think he sneezed and someone decided it sounded okay," she giggled.

"Possibly. Well… maybe we can just add in another 'k' and call it a day if you like that name so much. It's sort of cheating, but it's still 'Riku' without actually being verbatim," Yuna said. Her sister considered it for a few minutes and nodded.

"Rikku. I like it."


	100. Chapter 100

**Epilogue 3**

Over the next year, Rikku's personality started to blossom. She learned to tolerate her sisters and even enjoy their company. Yuna's incessant need to mess with her hair was something she could enjoy after a while. In fact, she had started her own little collection of shiny hair pins, beads, and bands. But she discovered that the reason Yuna was so fixated on outer beauty was that she was hiding behind her shiny things to disguise her crushing loneliness. Yuna never said outright what her concerns were but the way she watched their friends with their Charges and the way she talked about finding her own was overly obvious in some instances. Rikku felt guilty for being so fortunate with Ventus.

She made friends with just about everyone in her hall of the female facility. Her sisters were only a few doors down, but so were Alicia and Franziska, as well as one of Tifa's sisters. She spent a lot of time around Alicia and subsequently Sora, who were major influences in her personality. Roxas couldn't decide if he felt alright with that. The whole idea of hand picking traits was so that he _didn't_ get another Sora, but then again, Rikku was similar to a child in that the environment helps her develop a certain way. He eventually stopped himself from caring and was happy so long as she was. Ventus was perfectly happy with the energy and the upbeat attitude she adopted. Sora was his first friend in the facility, after all. That wasn't to say that Rikku was a copy of Sora. Quite the contrary, she was actually like Roxas in a lot of ways. Just a livelier sort of Roxas.

One thing she did share exclusively with the blonde Charge was the fear of thunderstorms. Her fear was even more acute than his in that she was rendered virtually motionless for the duration. There were a lot of times she would retreat into one of her sister's beds for the night or cling to Axel if she happened to be in the lab studying. The redhead thought it was cute the first couple times, with Roxas hanging on one arm and Rikku on the other, but he soon realized how much it stagnated the work day and had yet to come up with a solution. It was puzzling, but not debilitating. He'd figure something out eventually.

Rikku still hadn't made Ventus her Charge yet. It wouldn't be official until they exchanged Signets, but things were progressing. They spent a lot of time studying together. Ventus sat and tutored her in just about everything she could ask. A lot of times they got distracted by talking about other things though. Interests, stories about Ventus' past, the future, hopes and dreams, those sorts of things. Rikku didn't usually have much to offer aside from more questions but the bonding experience was there all the same. She had gotten comfortable enough to where they could walk around together holding hands and the idea of leaving Ventus for the night made her chest hurt. Living in separate buildings took its toll to an extent. The temptation to make him official so he didn't have to leave her was a big motivator, but she stopped herself. She really didn't want to do things for the wrong reasons.

Other than Rikku and Ventus' relationship, not much was changing. Carriers were growing, life was continuing on at its normal pace, and things were peaceful. The only exception was during the last inspection. A Technician that had somehow flew under the radar since Xemnas' death had discovered Leon was the culprit and took it upon himself to try and express his displeasure for losing his mentor. The Carrier was unharmed after several dodges away from a swinging electrified prod but the same couldn't be said for the Technician. Cloud got to him before he could react and rearranged his front teeth in retaliation. The entire incident was conveniently captured on the video surveillance system and any accusations towards Leon were immediately dismissed. The Technician was fired.

As the year grew to a close, Leon and Cloud decided to have a small get together. They had two neighbors that were Technicians and they happened to be away at the same time, leaving curfew a non-issue because everyone else living around them didn't give a damn. Several years after the weather generator was installed, the pair had ripped up the giant concrete slab in their back yard in favor of laying down sod and giving Leon a space to 'play in the pansies' as Cloud described. In reality there were hardly any flowers to be had but there was a plethora of vegetables planted specifically for the blonde so he couldn't really complain. Leon liked the plants, Cloud liked the food. It was a win-win.

Additionally, they had purchased a set of outdoor furniture, a grill, as well as put up a four foot wall around the top of their house. Living in a giant cube was beneficial if you wanted to use the top of it as a pseudo third floor, which they did. There was even a series of metal rungs cemented into the back wall of the building to access it. There were a lot of quiet jokes circulating around the proverbial water cooler that the rooftop balcony was where the _really_ kinky sex happened, but there was no evidence. In fact, there was another set of outdoor furniture up there with a very innocent looking chair swing. It was clear the pair enjoyed the outdoors rather than being cooped up inside. It was more interesting out there than the rest of their house, which hadn't changed much since they got it.

But it did make for a nice party space. All of the siblings were invited, of course, as well as their circle of friends. There was a lot of food and a lot of booze which Zack and Yuffie immediately dove into together. Tifa and Vincent milled around and visited and waited for the inevitable. They were either going to fall asleep, or vomit. Or both. Axel was betting on passing out in a puddle of each other's vomit but no one was willing to put any money on it. Roxas, Ventus, Zexion and Sora all had a few drinks as well but nothing overly substantial. Plus, the rule was 'no booze on the roof' as Leon so eloquently put it. The liability factors there weren't something any of them were willing to ignore.

The women stuck around inside for the most part. The gossip circle was enormous with so many of them in one place and the stories were much more entertaining than watching the men stumble around drunk together. The biggest cause for conversation was Tifa. She was hugely pregnant with her seventh litter and she waddled around the living area as gently as she could. Leon's sisters were aghast that Zack would get so hammered with Tifa on the verge of bursting at the seams. But the pregnant Carrier was insistent that it was fine. That they were Vincent's cubs anyway, and so long as one of them was sober, she would be fine. They even brought Yuffie's car, and prepped the lab beforehand, just in case something happened.

"Hmm…" Rikku hummed thoughtfully, peeking over her cards at the other participants around the coffee table. She and several other girls were playing and almost everyone had a good poker face. Except for Tifa. She was more concerned about fussing with her shirt and keeping her protruding stomach covered while fidgeting in her place uncomfortably. "Frannie do you have any threes?" the youngest asked sweetly. Franziska simply nodded and handed over her cards. Rikku giggled and took the pair she already had with the other two she had been given and plopped the book on the table triumphantly.

"Have any fives?" Frannie asked quietly. Rikku immediately shook her head with a wide grin.

"Go fish," she said and the other picked a card. The pile in the middle was running out and after only a few more turns was gone and the game was over. Tifa won, having the most books. "Well that was fun. I wonder if the boys killed each other yet," Rikku said, idly tapping her chin with pursed lips.

"Intentionally or unintentionally?" Theresa asked with a small smile. Rikku shrugged.

"Either or, honestly. They both seem likely to me. That said, I wonder if anyone's fallen off the roof yet too. I think I'll go out and check and skip the next game," she said curiously and pushed herself up off the floor. Theresa nodded and pulled the piles of cards into one orderly stack and began shuffling. Rikku stepped into the back yard and looked around at the activity. Tiny clusters of the male species dotted the space in varying degrees of conversation. In the back though, Yuffie and Zack huddled around a table together surrounded by a few of their friends, being encouraged to drink more to see who could hold the most. Two garbage bins were stationed nearby for emergencies. Rikku didn't see the younger Charges with the others and assumed they were elsewhere.

She took her time climbing the ladder up to the roof where Ventus, Sora, Roxas, and Axel were sitting around together. Ventus and Sora were talking on one of the couches, an ash tray between them, each with their own tightly packed blunts of Zen smoking away, neglected. Axel was sprawled out on his stomach, his face resting in Roxas' lap, the two of them on the swing, swaying back and forth gently. Rikku hauled herself up into the space as daintily as she could; hoping no one at the bottom of the ladder was watching her fumble around with her back end in the air. Sora noticed her and nodded in her direction, pulling Ventus' attention away from their conversation.

"I really wish you wouldn't smoke," Rikku chided as she brushed her clothing back into place. Ventus looked to the ash tray and immediately snuffed his blunt out.

"Then I won't," he said and folded his hands in his lap, eyes low.

"I'm more concerned about your health than anything else," she defended.

"Understandable. Can Sora?"

"I don't care."

"I would prefer he didn't," Roxas chimed, his sibling turning to him quickly with a deep scowl.

"Now now," Axel sighed tiredly, nuzzling his face into his Charge's stomach. The blonde sighed.

"I have the same concerns. I'd like him to outlive me."

"Aw, you're so cute Roxas," Sora snorted. Rikku giggled and took a seat on the couch next to Ventus. "I totally know you're lying though. You just think I'm getting high."

"Even if you get the tiniest bit inebriated, there's a propensity for falling two stories to the ground. It could kill you today or twenty years from now, either way I still want you to outlive me," Roxas shot back. Sora rolled he eyes and sighed dramatically.

"Yes mom," he huffed and extinguished his own bud. Ventus stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out the package of Zen and handed it to the brunette for future private use. Sora grinned and stuffed it in his own pocket. "See? Ventus loves me," he giggled. Roxas sent the other blonde a nasty glare but Ventus purposefully paid no attention to him. Axel distracted Roxas from the burgeoning tirade by discreetly lifting up the edge of his shirt and licking a line over his skin. The blonde immediately shut up and turned his glare to the redhead who simply placed the fabric where he had found it and went back to his quiet half-asleep state. He had eaten too much and the food coma was setting in and the calm rocking of the swing wasn't helping.

"The card game not as exciting as you had hoped?" Ventus asked, settling back in his seat, giving Rikku a thoughtful look. She shrugged.

"We played a few games and I just decided to come out here instead. Lots of gossip and not enough fresh air."

"Anything good?"

"Hardly," Rikku snorted with a laugh. "Just the usual 'so and so went out with their Charge to somewhere they weren't supposed to and didn't get caught' stories. It's always the same people, too. It's only interesting when it's someone unexpected. Like if Frannie and Alicia went out to a strip club or something. That'd be way more interesting."

"Alicia _better_ not be out there," Sora grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. Ventus laughed and gave him a playful shove.

"Oh come on. A few tits between friends never hurt anyone. I'd laugh and give them a high five if they ever did that," he said with a sly grin. The brunette huffed.

"This is one of the few times I've felt the need to be suspicious of your judgment."

" _You've_ been to the strip club. What's the difference if Alicia wanted to go?" Ventus asked.

"Uh, aside from the fact it's _illegal_?"

"Yeah, aside from that. If she's careful she could pull it off."

"She could but I still don't want her to."

"Just because?"

"Right. Because."

"You wouldn't understand," Axel chimed with a wave of his hand, half of his face buried in Roxas' abdomen. "I don't want any of my girls to go either."

"Stifling jerks," Ventus huffed and mimicked Sora's pout and crossed his arms over his chest. Rikku furrowed her brows.

"Why couldn't I?" she asked. The redhead shrugged.

"It just doesn't seem right to encourage you."

"But Tidus and Wakka are allowed to?" she persisted.

"It's different. Guys aren't preyed on like girls are," Roxas added, gently combing his fingers through Axel's hair. Rikku snorted.

"Oh and I suppose me being a Carrier doesn't counterbalance the physical weakness some human women have. The things human men tend to count on in order to overpower their victims."

"She has a point," Ventus said.

"Do you even _want_ to go to a strip club? Or are we arguing just for the sake of arguing?" Roxas asked. Rikku seemed thoughtful for a moment. She looked to Ventus.

"Want to go to a strip club?" she asked simply. Sora snorted and burst into sudden laughter.

"Seriously?" Ventus asked with an intrigued twinkle in his eye. She shrugged.

"Sure."

"Wh—Yeah! When?"

"I don't know. I have no idea what I'm doing," she giggled. He laughed.

"See, and this is exactly why you shouldn't," Axel sighed. Ventus waved him off.

"Don't discourage her free spirit."

"Free spirit? Or your escape route to getting your rocks off?" Sora asked. Ventus scowled and smacked his friend on the arm. Rikku shrugged.

"How am I going to understand anything if I stay cooped up in the facility my entire life? I don't get to spend a few couple decades away from home like everyone else," she said. Ventus fidgeted.

"You can if you really want to," he said quietly. She shook her head.

"I don't want to focus on anyone else."

"Oh," he said, a small smile ghosting over his features. "Well, you could go out and pick someone else and leave for a while. Then you can come back and say they were hit by a bus and you couldn't bring them back with you or something," he added. Axel laughed.

"That's awful. That's not only a waste of resources and time, but it's taking a Charge away from someone else that may have really wanted them."

"True. But it still doesn't change Rikku's very valid point."

"Studying helps getting to know things," Roxas said blandly. Rikku frowned.

"That's not exactly life experience though," she said. Ventus hummed thoughtfully to himself before letting out a small gasp of revelation and looked to Rikku.

"Let's go watch like, twenty hours of softcore porn and you'll get the general idea of what a strip club is like."

"Don't want to hear this!" Axel blurted and kicked his feet. Rikku giggled again and took Ventus' hand in a quiet sign of encouragement. The enormous grin that spread across his face nearly split it in two, his eyes sparkling with over amusement. Roxas sighed and rubbed his eyes. After a few minutes of silence Axel forced himself to sit up, yawning wide.

"Sleepy?" the blonde asked. The redhead nodded.

"Been up since five this morning and I'm a million years old. It's almost midnight and I overate. Yes, I'm tired," he said with a small smile. Roxas chuckled.

"Let's go, then," he said and stood from the swing. He held his hand out to the Carrier and Axel took it and let himself be dragged along to the ladder. They bid their farewells and descended, leaving Sora with Ventus and Rikku. The brunette fidgeted some.

"Well, now I'm the third wheel," he said with a laugh. "I'll let you guys have your alone time, I guess."

"You don't have to, we weren't really planning on doing anything," Ventus said. Sora shrugged and picked up his things and pocketed them before taking his leave quietly. He stood at the top of the ladder and leaned over the edge.

"Hey Riku!" he called down. It took a moment for the Carrier to respond.

"Yes?"

"If I jumped, would you catch me?" the brunette giggled.

"No," came Riku's very dry reply. Sora's posture sagged.

"That's mean. Why would you let me fall?"

"Because if I said 'yes' you would do it and there's no guarantee that I _would_ catch you with you getting hurt. So if I say 'no' I just avoid the issue entirely."

"Oh."

"Sora, I swear to god, you jump, and I'll piss on your grave," Cloud chimed angrily. Leon smacked him on the arm and they held a glaring contest for a few seconds. Sora laughed and eventually climbed down normally, leaving Rikku and Ventus alone.

"You weren't serious about the strip club, were you?" the Charge asked with a knowing smirk. Rikku shrugged.

"Not right this second anyway. Maybe eventually. But…" she trailed, trying to pull her thoughts together as her cheeks turned pink. "I'm willing to learn otherwise," she said, giving him a shy look out of the corner of her eye. Ventus' expression blanked as he stared at her, speechless.

"R-really?" he asked, his eyes growing wide. She wrung her hands, looking down at her lap. She nodded.

"I trust you," she said quietly. He smiled.

"There are so many things I can show you. You've opened what some would consider a Pandora's Box of sorts."

"…Can we start small?" she asked nervously. He laughed.

"Of course. We can start with… a kiss? Would that be okay?" he asked. She gave a small nod and leaned a bit closer, unsure of how to start. He curled a finger under her chin and brought their faces close. The kiss was brief, but firm. Lips on lips. Ventus pulled away and smiled, giving Rikku a moment to process it, her cheeks on fire. "Okay?" he asked. She nodded.

"Your lips are soft…" she trailed quietly. His smile spread into a grin.

"So are yours."

"…Another?"

"As many as you want," he chuckled. She giggled a bit and went back for another kiss. Then another. And another. Ventus planted his hands around her waist and forced himself to keep them there as the kisses drew out longer and longer. He could feel her tension the longer they stayed together so he pulled away and gave her a moment. She let out a long breath and abruptly hugged him around his neck tightly, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder. He hugged her. "Are you alright?" he asked. Her sudden demeanor change confused him.

"Yeah, I just feel weird. Give me a minute," she said behind a nervous laugh.

"Weird?"

"Anxious."

"Oh. Well, we don't have to do any more."

"Okay…" she trailed and sat back with a sigh. Her hands stayed around his neck and her fingertips ran through the ends of his hair on his nape. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's a big step. We can take our time. We have a lot of it."

"Yes…well…okay. Do you think…maybe we can try again later?" she asked.

"Whenever you need me, you can have my attention. You don't have to ask," he said, attempting to sound as innocent as he could but the implications there were too much to ignore. He meant she could come to him for _anything_ but the context must have come off as purely sexual. Her face turned bright red and she pulled her copious amounts of hair over her shoulder and raked her fingers through the ponytail nervously. Before he could amend his statement though, the back door of the house flew open and cracked into the outer wall, startling nearly everyone in the back yard. Ventus and Rikku jumped up and went to the wall and peered down over the edge. Theresa was running across the grass at full speed, coming to a stop where Zack and Vincent were and began talking excitedly to them.

" _What?_ " Zack blurted with a drunken slur. Cloud overheard and scowled.

"Damn it, she's not getting it all over my couch is she?" he asked grumpily. All eyes in the immediate vicinity turned to him in silent astonishment. Cloud rolled his eyes. "It was a joke, assholes! God," he sighed.

"Not funny," Vincent growled and stepped around the table to scoop Yuffie up out of her chair. Zack whined a bit and reached out towards Cloud.

"Clo _ooouuud_ ," he whimpered. "I need a favor."

"I'm not babysitting," was the blonde's immediate reply.

"No, I need your help," Zack grumbled and flailed an arm around until his hand smacked into the garbage bin. He pulled it to himself. "Punch me in the stomach," he grunted. Vincent whisked Yuffie away towards the car and plopped her in the back before going into the house to find Tifa. Cloud did as he was told and pushed Zack onto his side and gave him a swift jab in the gut. There was a small pause before Zack projectile vomited into the bin.

"We should go with them, I don't know how much Vincent can do by himself," Leon offered. Cloud stood and let Zack continue his self punishment alone.

"You know he'll be fine. You just want to play with the kittens," the blonde huffed. The Carrier simply shrugged.

"You're my best friend ever, Cloud," Zack hiccupped.

"Zack?" Tifa squeaked from the doorway, using Vincent as a crutch as they hobbled towards the car together. The Charge in question shakily pushed himself up and wobbled in his place.

"Coming, no worries, I got this," he stammered. He volunteered Cloud to help him to the car by slinging an arm over his shoulders and leaning against him.

* * *

A female Carrier, in Implant form, cannot treat her cubs as if they were a human child. The labor process was very much the same except there was no pushing involved. It was best to allow the body to naturally push the cubs out the way a mother cat would. Tifa was carried into the lab and gently laid in what could only be described as a 'nest.' It was a pen that had been set up in the middle of the room with a surplus of soft bedding and blankets spread around. The setup was mostly for the cub's benefit but it helped because Tifa would sleep there for the evening as well. Zack had a cot set up outside the pen for himself. Vincent debated staying with them, having put Yuffie to bed already.

The four of them were the firsts back to the facility, having zoomed past Roxas and Axel walking home on their way there. Vincent's limited driving ability was illegal, but Leon and Cloud's house was essentially a straight shot to the facility so it wasn't all that difficult to maneuver. Leon and Cloud themselves, came on the blonde's motorcycle, as expected. The girls stayed behind to clean up. Everyone else though, was in the process of running home in one massive swarm. Everyone wanted to see the cubs though Tifa and the lab were locked up tight to keep the stress level down.

"Are you feeling alright?" Vincent asked as he draped a blanket over his sister and sat next to her. Tifa had been disrobed and was lying on her side, one of her legs pulled up to keep herself as open as possibly to allow the cubs to simply roll out of her when the time came. She nodded.

"Just a little uncomfortable," she said and tensed as another contraction tightened every muscle in her body. She squeaked and grit her teeth and let out a long sigh when it dissipated. She knew what to expect and how to prepare herself for it. If she didn't resist, the process was much more bearable, but she doubted how many more litters she could carry after this last one. It wasn't that she was losing her drive, but that her body simply couldn't take much more without needing surgery to bring her up to speed again. Much like humans who wanted a complete sex change, she would most likely need a new uterus, as hers had several scars already from all the stress. Her new one would be synthetic (like Zack's liver), and more resilient, but it was still a major undertaking when the gestational chambers worked just as well for rearing cubs. She didn't want to push her luck and not be able to bear Zack a human child when the time came either. It was a battle for another time, but she couldn't help thinking about it.

Zack, escorted by Cloud, eventually made his way into the lab, having showered and brushed his teeth to rid himself of the booze and vomit smell. His friend had gone with him and waited outside to make sure he didn't fall into things. Zack was still drunk off his gourd but his bleary judgment snaked through the alcohol and told him 'it's time for babies, you should probably be there.' And so he was. Vincent was the one who actually participated but Zack was there all the same. Tifa hardly noticed her Charge, her mind elsewhere. Leon hung around outside the pen with towels and a basin of warm water, waiting to be useful. Cloud stayed out of it entirely once Zack was in his cot and went to take a nap on the exam table.

"He can stay in Zack and Tifa's room if he's that tired," Vincent said. Leon looked to him and saw him looking to Cloud.

"Hm?" the russet Carrier grunted and looked to his Charge. "Oh, no, don't mind him. He's only here because I am. They aren't his so he doesn't care all that much to be a part of it."

"Sorry I sort of ruined your party," Tifa sighed from her place on the floor. Leon shook his head.

"Don't worry about that. This is more important."

"Well, I shouldn't have come in the first place. I started feeling strange even before we left," she admitted. Vincent looked to her with a slight glare.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I didn't want to hold you all back."

"Well that's just ridiculous," Leon snorted. "Don't do that next time. Worry about yourself first."

"Agreed," Vincent chimed. Tifa sighed. She assumed she had been in labor for several hours already but it had only become unbearable shortly before Theresa had run outside.

It seemed to be a common theme amongst Carrier society that the wait was always the hardest part of everything they did. Giving birth was no different. Tifa lay on the floor, exhausted, for almost four hours without any result. It had gotten to the point where Leon was practically asleep on the stack of towels. Vincent wouldn't allow himself to get that comfortable though and was ready for when the first cub slid free. He broke its tiny amniotic sac and wiped it as clean as he could, using the towels as a substitute for a mother's tongue. Tifa pooled a bit of blanket in the crook of her arm and Vincent set the tiny one pound cub in it. It blindly tried to climb out but Tifa kept it in place, using a finger to rub its speckled fur around. It wasn't until daybreak when the other two were born. Once the last was out and Vincent was cleaning it up, Tifa changed to her Primal form and scooted to a clean area of the pen. Her cubs were tucked against her an allowed to nurse as she was finally able to sleep.

* * *

"So little…" Axel cooed as he gently scooped up one of the cubs. There were two males and one female, they came to find. They were all of normal coloration, unlike Tifa herself. The melanin allele was recessive and only two out of all of her cubs came out completely black like she was. None of her siblings were, either. Even Vincent, whose wardrobe was almost entirely black with his hair the color of raven's feathers, was of standard coloration. The redhead fussed over the tiny cub for several minutes as it squirmed around in his hand. He held it out for Roxas to see and the blonde laughed a bit.

"I'm aware of it, yes," he said as the cat was shoved in his face. Axel wore an enormous grin and his eyes twinkled with that playful light that the blonde had come to understand all too well. The redhead set the cub back where he had retrieved it from up against Tifa's stomach, the female snoozing away peacefully. It was several days after the cubs had been born and she and Zack were finally allowing visitors. Most everyone had been in to see them already, Axel and Roxas being the last ones for the day.

"I want some," Axel sighed and he peeked over the edge of the pen longingly.

"I know. We'll get there," Roxas assured and rubbed the Carrier's back. Axel sighed again before abruptly turning to the side and hugging his Charge to his chest. The blonde let out a yelp as he was pulled to the floor and rolled with to the side. Axel eventually came to rest on top of him and Roxas was smothered with kisses.

"Let's go make some," the redhead purred and squeezed his Charge tight. Roxas tried to claw himself out from under him but the seamless flooring gave him no heed.

"I need an adult! I need an adult!" he cried as he flailed around uselessly. Axel laughed and hugged the blonde around his waist and hauled them both upright, slinging his Charge over his shoulder like a sack of resistant potatoes. He marched out of the lab, Roxas quickly realizing the futility of the situation and letting himself dangle over the redhead's shoulder with a deep sigh. He should've seen it coming as soon as Axel approached him about going to visit the cubs. Now he regretted it because he knew that once the redhead was finished with him he wouldn't be able to sit for a week. No matter how determined Axel was, he wouldn't be able to get any kittens out of Roxas, but that didn't stop him from hoping or trying, as ridiculous as the motion sounded.

But, they were well on their way. Things were positive and moving forward. The hardships were never over, and no one expected them to be, but at the very least there was the confidence that they would be successful no matter how long it would take. And success is what it had been about since the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, lovelies! I'm so glad you could join me here. I'll be posting the chapters for this story little by little. I'm learning a lot, and hopefully I can keep things moving at a steady pace.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I do.


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